#i'm mostly just venting right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

morewyckedthanyou · 3 months

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anyways idk what is happening, maybe i'm just coming down with a bad flu or something, but i have been SO tired for no reason for several days now and today at work i also felt really ill. i drive around in a car about 6-7 hours a day at work these days and today i had to pull up two times on the side of the road because it felt like i was going to throw up. i didn't, it went away, but it was a close call.

#and yes i felt nauseous the whole damn day #i also developed a bad headache and it still hasn't gone away really #and i'm just so. fucking. tired.#after work i've really just been lying in bed mostly in this kind of a trance #not really asleep but not really fully awake either #i don't have enough energy for anything i usually even enjoy right now #ok i'll shut up now #just had to vent a bit #and now i'll head back to bed #i think i'll actually take a sleeping pill tonight maybe knocking myself out totally for a night will help some #personal

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marypsue · 8 months

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Yes 100%. My other pet peeve is when people claim expensive programs that would benefit society “pay for themselves” like no! On a dollar amount they won’t! But we should fund them anyway because making people happier+healthier? that’s worth spending money on

I mean, the research has been done, repeatedly, and it's my understanding that funding a lot of programs (like Universal Basic Income, or housing-first solutions, or preventative medicine) is actually less expensive in dollars, year over year, than paying for the social programs that prop up the current state of affairs...

...but that also doesn't mean that the current social programs shouldn't be funded, because they help people! Even if they don't solve the problem entirely!

If we can't make everything perfect in the future (we can't, because perfection doesn't exist), but we also can't make things less bad for people right now, then what are we even doing.

#chatter #i considered looking up links to sources for this but honestly i am supposed to be cleaning my bathroom #and the post this is responding to was mostly just an offhand vent post #so if you have links to sources please do provide them but I'm not going to be doing that research myself right now #bcause I will be cleaning my bathroom #(if you see me here on tumblr again for the next...let's say an hour please yell at me to go clean the bathroom)#eta: okay I cleaned the bathroom and also I added a sentence because. well. i *didn't* provide any sources here.

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trans-axolotl · 9 months

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so hot out. fainted twice already today! chugged a gatorade. trying to do things but i think the rest of the day will be for lying on the floor. trying not to get lost in my brain but this place is full of ghosts and i am haunted. just going to hold. until i leave tomorrow night.

#personal #vent #don't know what to tag this as tbh #abuse tw #have been more psychotic this week then in a long time #almost every day i have been hallucinating angels. talking to some of them #anyway. apparently this is the city i go to if i want to talk to angels.#have been mostly holding it together but i can tell that the edges #are leaking. i can't read long paragraphs right now because the angels have so much commentary #i drove past the place where i first started doing survival sw and one of the angels told me that she is furious with god for trapping her #and i cannot write or think until the angels are quieter. i cannot remember things about myself right now. it's hot and i'm melting and #the angels talking is new. usually they just spend time in electrical lines and pigeons. and such. and i know they're there #i don't mind them too much but i would like to be able to read without them critiquing the analysis LMFAO

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irritablepoe · 9 months

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ok i wrote a little over 1k words today, somebody tell me they're proud of me :')

#THE TAGS ARE LONG SO BE WARNED!!!#and it's mostly ramblings so not a vent post #i have a good feeling about this draft #i mean i just started a new one but i have kind of a much clearer idea what i'm doing now #i have a notebook where i put a timeline of all the events and it's so helpful #though i have SOOOOO MUCH fantasy names and shit that i invented like a year ago and even though i have all the origins of the names noted #i have little idea how i got there #i even invented a whole calender that i'll use in this story (hopefully) and i'm so proud of this omg #i hope i get this draft finished one day bc it would be a really cool high fantasy book if i do it right yk #AND I'M SO PROUD OF MY MAGIC SYSTEM #it's reaaaaallly complex and i spend weeks figuring it out #though it's been a while since i wrote anything in this project and i don't have all the information on paper (in the notebook) yet #so the information is kinda spread throughout all the documents that i started for like little oneshots scenes and beginnings and stuff #and i have to find them all :')#but creating is soooo fun #but writing is a pain since march for some reason #i had a lot on my plate but also... that normally helped?#well i hope i'll get to write in september bc of semester break #i looked at my progress chart-thingy over the year and i wrote so much in feburary ;-;#i want this back plsssss #nowadays i only get to do like one poem in 2-3 days (and not even that!) and 90% of them are shit #ANYWAYS #thank you for reading all this if you did <3 #this was just me rambling lmao #i haven't posted much today aaaahhh but well i'm very tired and in pain :(#i wish weekends were longer man #period.cramps.are.shit.#personal

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foxgirlmoth · 7 months

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You ever just get hit hard as hell that you've felt trapped in your place of residence for years and years and you're just so tired from working the most shit jobs for a decade you just wanna scream.

#Yeag its so fun #Like. I feel like I've just pushed it back in my head going 'nono its not that bad it just feels that bad'#And then I realize everything from the way I dress and the way I relax is half faked because what else can I do but #Sit and be safe in the one room that feels even half like my space #I don't go out of this room! Its hell outside of it at my place.#Its filled with people who debate how I generally live and think my life isn't hard enough and so I deserve more suffering half the time #I'm making $20 an hour right now and it feels impossible to keep up three or so payments if I miss. day or two per check #I'm mostly venting rn but just holy shit #I think I'd actually put effort into putting clothes away or cleaning up my space or being just in any way shape or form nicer to myself #If I had any sense of belonging here #Its been almost 27 years of my life in this one room

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aparticularbandit · 2 months

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So.

If you see me binging the rest of DRV3 faster than I normally games.

And then spending a lot of time playing DRS probably.

And then maybe binging through TWEWY2.

It's because I'm going through a bad time and yes I know I need to think about it some time but I'm pushing it off for future me to handle it because yesterday me got depression triggered so hard she considered self-harm again. Which isn't good for anybody!

And then got stuck in another spiral and ended up depersonalizing this morning!

SO.

I MIGHT BE GAMING A LOT.

TO NOT THAT AGAIN.

#musings #bandit #also obviously i will be trying to spend time in Scripture #but like #right now i just want to half vent at God #Who can obviously take it but like #also i should buck up and be a real adult at some point it would be smart #(my mom has been dead barely a year and as of this week my dad has a new girlfriend #that is what triggered this #i'm NOT okay #but i don't want to rob him of his happiness so like #is it too soon for me? YEP #but that's not my concern with him dating #if he doesn't think it's too soon for him then good for him #and i will get over it eventually!#i have therapy a week from monday that will help)#but mostly i'm trying not to think about it if i don't have to think about it #SO I MIGHT BE A LOT OF GAMING #the struggle to write was REAL though #heathers helped #(bless God for having spotify pull that out it helped SO much actually)

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nowendil · 6 months

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whooooo having an anxiety attack about covid. again 👍

#cw negative #cw vent #nowe talks #it's hard to describe what about it is the worst source of anxiety for me. it's not What If I Get It. it's mostly just. it's just.#i sometimes feel like our society has just forgotten that it's a thing. or that society has forgotten that it's A SERIOUS THING.#like this thing that Kills People.#i know it's not lethal to most people but it still is a very serious thing!#why have we as a society shifted from “protecting the people most affected is a collective responsibility #(via vaccination and masking and not showing up to places sick)“#to “well what if all the people belonging to risk groups just deal with this on their own and the rest of us go back to normal?”#idk man maybe i'm sensitive because my grandma died of covid a week before Christmas last year.#or because both of my parents are over 60 and my dad has another risk factor illness on top of that.#idk man. i just feel so. unsafe. unsure and scared and tired. i just dont want other people to go through what our family did last december #i want to stress that i'm not blaming any individual people for this.#my frustration is almost solely directed towards the goverment not taking covid seriously enough #and like i'm not perfect. i'm not sure what's the right thing to do and what's me overreacting.#i recognize that i am often incapable of thinking clearly about this subject #sometimes i feel like i am the only one in my circle (family included) who is this worried about it still. i'm not blaming my loved ones #i'm not saying i'm better than them that's not it. i just. sometimes i just feel so alone with this #and idk how to make it better?#like i have good moments and bad moments with this anxiety. it comes and goes. but. idk.#i think her death's anniversary coming closer combined with the rising covid numbers in my country is just doing a number on me

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thethingything · 1 month

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I find it kind of interesting that we have a couple of delusions (and the hallucinations that come with those) that just kind of involve gruesome stuff happening to us, especially because they weren't as gruesome at first but have gotten more so over time.

the hallucinations are all somatic ones (sensations instead of visuals or audio) but they're stuff like I guess what our brain thinks it would feel like if our organs were decomposing, or being eaten by maggots, or just stuff with a similar vibe to that?

I can put up with it for the most part, but like I did nearly throw up on the bed because of it earlier and I'd really like to not experience that again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #emetophobia tw #vent post #<- I guess? I mean it kinda sucks but I'm not that upset about it right now #anyway this is partly from the Cotard's delusion and partly because we also get delusions involving being parasitised #I think they're kind of linked together for us. like there's a similar vibe to them somehow #anyway the Cotard's delusion is like... it flares up every so often and gets really intense #but otherwise it's mostly just there in the background as like ''yeah that's a thing we experience'' but not affecting us that much #it's hard to explain how we usually feel about it when it's not flaring up really intensely #but at the moment it is flaring up so it's like... okay I guess this is what we're doing for the foreseeable future #idk we might just wake up later and be like ''oh never mind'' or it might flare up for a few weeks or whatever #also talking about this is wild because like I've definitely mentioned us having it but I'm still aware that everything says it's super rar #even though we've met multiple other people who have it and we had it for years without knowing it had a name or anything #but I'm still paranoid about getting fakeclaimed because people like to be like ''that's so rare. there's no way you can have that''#like idk what to tell you buddy my brain is convinced that I'm dead and that my organs are decomposing. I'm not happy about it either #being able to double-bookkeep and know we're experiencing a delusion also makes it weirder #because it's like yeah I know it sounds ridiculous and is technically impossible but my brain has decided that none of that matters #and me being like ''well that can't be true'' feels like being in denial so even though I know it's a delusion #a lot of the time it's easier to just lean into it and go ''okay sure I guess I'm dead. who gives a shit''#anyway let's see how I end up feeling after talking about this because either I'll post it and be like ''yeah this is fine''#or I'll get paranoid about being fakeclaimed or people being like ''what the actual fuck'' and end up deleting it

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somelazyassartist · 1 year

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#dealing with a lot of feelings right now. just all of them i guess #I've had some good stuff too but it's mostly been idk. jealousy. grief. anger. homesickness. a lot of stuff for a lot of reasons #it's been weighing on me for a while but it just all kinda snapped last night #I'm feeling a little better after getting some of that anger out and venting it through Vikki but it's still there #but it'll get better now that it's not completely pent up i guess #just been having kinda a rough one for a bit. but I'll be fine #it's not meant to be.#three eyed cats in my living room #vicoros #vicoros nightbreeze #vent

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dolly-macabre · 1 year

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Probably gotta take one of my babies to the vet tomorrow and I'm so scared about it. If it weren't for my anxiety meds, I'd probably be right back where I was last month. But I'm gonna get through this. I'm going to scratch and claw my way out of this with my head on straight.

#talking.dolly #vent #my maya papaya's teeth are looking really janky like she might need them pulled #my napkins is at my side right now just like he has been through all my ups and downs #that and he wants treats #but mostly cause he loves me 🥺 he knows I'm panicking he's been trying to ground me all night #anxiety #personal

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ihaventsleptinweekz · 6 months

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Sometimes I think I'm a normal person then the 11 pm thought kicks in and suddenly I'm insane

#Going to mildly and vaugly vent in the tags to buckle up ^_^#Will not clarify on any of this because it's more fun not to. Hope that helps #Anyway I'm kind of just. Weirded out by myself rn. Like I'm fine but I'm side-eyeing myself a little bit #And recently I've been believing thay I think really I was more immature a year ago #and while I do think back at her (year ago me) and kinda laugh at her for being overdramatic I feel kinda bad about it because yknow I was #But then I got kind of weirdly slowed down? In my being less freaked out process #Mostly because of Hellenite everyone say thank you hellenite (sarcastic love those fics so much)#But reading the fic kind of reminded me of the emotions that were going on at that time #And while I don't really miss or regret what happened too much anymore I think the general emotions of it started popping up again #Like idk how to say this but I'm over IT as a whole- but the emotions are still kinda left over?#Man really do NOT know how to put this #Cause it's kinda old news and frankly I am wildly happy with where I am right now #And I'm kind of thankful?? But also just a little :I about the whole thing. Which is making me inwardly side-eyeish #And I do think that I probably wouldn't change much if I could- and honestly I'm a little more embarrassed than anything else #Sorry for the weird long rambling tags just didn't want to call either of the like- maybe 3 friends I'd consider bringing this up with #I probably should check in with them though #Ough and I have work to do tmrw #Ew ew ew ew #Feel like this week has gone too damn fast and also not fast enough lmao #I'm also kinda nervous because I might have to take the ASL placement test soon to see if I qualify for skipping a couple ASL classes #Which would be nice cause I would LOVE to graduate quicker #And with all the AP classes I took in high-school it'd be nice to knock a bit of time off my college thing #Although admittedly I DID get that scholarship so it couldn't hurt???#It might actually give me more time to get EIPA certified and check out some internships??#Which would make getting jobs out of college WAY easier #Although maybe it'd be easier to get NIC certified if I retook a couple classes instead of trying to skip them??? God maybe I'd be behind #Ofc that wouldn't be a thing until after college #I'll probably have to save up money soon to start thinking about taking the test since it's so damn hard and so damn expensive #At least from what other interpreters have told me #Which is good!!! The it being hard thing anyways. Makes sure Deaf people get GOOD interpreters thst they deserve!!

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subtle-as-an-earthquake · 7 months

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haha i'm so sad

#just venting in the tags - feel free to ignore #i just can't get perfect sense out of my head #and i can't stop thinking gloomy thoughts #saw a newspaper article speculating about whether these may have been their last gigs ever 🙃#just... don't 🚫#i'm sure it's mostly post-concert depression though #and i'm sure i'll regroup and start thinking more positively again soon #i always do bc it's in my dna #but right now i'm sad and i miss them #i should have stayed normal about them #what the hell was i thinking getting obsessed with them again after having been normal about them for years #right near the end of a tour #idiot #but then i'd never have found this community either or had these incredible experiences either :((#so i guess things went the way they were meant to #i just need to get myself together #getting there #❤️❤️❤️#arctic monkeys

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coockie8 · 9 months

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I totally forgot to mention that I called a prevention hotline on July 20th because I was having a Bad Time™ and the lady wound up calling the police because I was in active crisis.

Note that, while in crisis, I was physically perfectly fine. I had a knife, but I hadn't used it; I was fine.

The cops showed up after the lady had managed to talk me down, and then proceeded to nearly break my wrist when I refused to go to the Hospital and tried to go back to work. I will absolutely have scars from four of them tackling my 4'10 ass to the ground, and smashing my wrist into concrete. Reminder that prior to this, I was perfectly fine!

But hey, good thing the cops got involved, or I might've gotten hurt, right? /s

#trash king vents #and all this isn't even addressing that if I were a POC I would be *dead* right now #because I'm Autistic and I had a meltdown #the *only* thing that kept me *alive* is the fact I'm white #tw: suicide mention #acab #and again I had already been talked down and was mostly calm by the time the cops showed up #they just immediately escalated the situation as soon as they got there and gave me a whole new *worse* meltdown #I have an educational model of a glock #do you know how easy it would've been to commit Suicide by Cop that day?#I would've just had to leave my house holding that fake gun that looks real at first glance #and they would've loaded me up #but then again maybe not because I'm white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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crazycatkatetrap · 1 year

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Late Night Thoughts (Vent)

Deleted the original post for personal reasons.

Here's the lighter version without the dark overlay:

#vent #Tw depressing #i feel like im going crazy #anxiety can be such a lying ass bitch #sorry I'm just really fucked up right now mentally #watching random stuff on YouTube (mostly the Try Guys) all the while Sara's trying to calm me down via a cuddling session and purring #mentalheathawareness #brain empty #feeling emotional #and I hate it #tired as fuck #overthinking again #idk what to tag this as #slightly cringe #or not idc #crazycatkatetrap #cckt #2023

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letsgofoletsgo · 9 months

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Today has been a bitch and a half- gonna snug Caraway n sleep for 34 hours

#vent #ish #my dad tried to fix my phone battery last week #and he did #but screwed up the back camera in the process #Today he managed to fix it #but then screwed something up with the home button #like the phone still works mostly and all my stuff is still there so i'm happy about that #but I'm probably gonna need a new phone #because my current one is four years old and such a peice of shit #and this is all going on the week before I move back to college #on top of all the other shit going on right now #i'm just.#stressed n shit #I'll live #but a goddamn break would be nice #beh

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kelasparmak · 10 months

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for the past 3-4 days i've consistently been getting a headache at c.7pm that lasts into the early hours of the morning and isn't helped at all by painkillers. REALLY hoping it's a weird coincidence and not just the way i live now.

#i'm hoping it's just a bug and the timing''s bc 7pm's when i get tired enough for it to catch up with me...?#otherwise i'm not sure there's a common factor that's specific to the past week #advice welcome if you have it but mostly i'm just venting and don't want to make a big deal of it to my offline friends #since hopefully it's just a very temporary nuisance #but right now it does feel like it's been going on for eternity and will continue for eternity

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