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insomniacwriter17 · 1 year

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5:08 AM

Courtesy of @ofhawkinsandvecna, my ParentGrove AU is born. Please enjoy.

(Depending on response we may crosspost on AO3).

~~~

The last six hours and eighteen minutes had been a blur.

It started at 11:43 PM on May 2, 1999. Steve’s cell phone began to ring, not long after Billy had crawled into bed beside a fast-asleep Steve. Billy, always the light sleeper, heard the buzzing cell phone and reached over his husband’s shoulder to grab it. He squinted at the tiny orange screen to see Nancy’s name on the Caller ID, and it shocked him into full awakeness, jamming his thumb into the accept button hard enough he was surprised it didn’t break.

11:44 PM, Steve was woken up by Billy pressing excited kisses to his forehead, whispering, “It’s time, baby. Nancy and Jonathan are on their way to the hospital! Come on, we have to go.”

By 11:47 PM, the men were in Steve’s BMW, hurrying through the streets of Hawkins, closing the distance between their house and the labor and delivery ward. Billy drove, Steve sat in the passenger seat. They clasped hands tightly, careening toward their future. Their new life. Their new family.

12:02 AM on May 3, 1999, Jonathan met them in the lobby and led them upstairs. The hospital smelled of cleaning solution and sterility, and for once, to Billy it smelled like hope. They passed the nursery window, and time seemed to slow down. It was like slow motion, glancing at the empty bassinets and knowing that one would soon hold their newest family member.

Nancy was glowing, radiant like she had been the last nine months, though she insisted she wasn’t. Steve reached for her hand, tears already pooling in his dark eyes. Billy stood beside the bed as well, staring gratefully at the woman giving them Steve’s biggest dream. “I’m doing the easy part,” she insisted with a pained laugh. “I’ve already done this twice before! The hard part starts after this, and that’s all on you,” she told the men adoringly, her gaze shifting to Billy. “It’s go time.”

“It’s go time,” Billy whispered with a watery smile. Somewhere along the way, Steve’s dream had become Billy’s dream, and now he wanted nothing else in this life but a family with Steve.

“It’s Baby Time,” Steve added with a playful grin, and the four of them broke into a laugh. The first time Steve had uttered the name jokingly, it sent the two couples into a hysterical spiral. And the name had stuck, because it was just ridiculous enough it made sense.

Kind of like Billy and Steve.

Baby Time meant Nancy and Jonathan would come to the hospital. Jonathan would call Robin and Vickie, who were on-call to stay with the Byers’ own angels, seven-year-old Jordan and three-year-old Grace. Nancy would call Steve and Billy, and they would meet at the hospital for however long it took to give Billy and Steve their miracle. And then they’d ride the wave to see what happened next.

Surrogacy was still an odd word, strange and taboo even in the late nineties, but it was now Billy’s favorite. Because of science, doctors, and a willing friend, they were getting everything they ever wanted. A baby. And they’d been around for all of it.

The positive test. The ultrasounds. The nursery assembly. The Braxton-Hicks and the morning sickness and the bedrest. And now, the delivery.

At 3:14 AM, Billy was awake with Nancy while the other two napped on the couch in the room. “How’re you feeling?” Billy asked in the dim room, looking at Nancy. The woman had appeared to be dozing until a minute ago, when she’d begun shifting uncomfortably.

“Just fine,” she promised with a tight smile. “Another contraction,” she explained. “It won’t be long now.” The sentence struck fear into Billy’s chest. Not long before he became a father. The last thing he ever thought he wanted. “How are you feeling?” she retorted. “Talk to me so I can ignore the cramps.”

“I’m scared,” he blurted out, reaching for Nancy’s hand to offer support. The woman squeezed, and Billy wondered if they’d charge extra for a doctor to wrap his broken hand at bedside so he didn’t miss this. But he didn’t tell her to stop. No, she was giving them something far too important. “What if I’m bad at this?” What if I’m like my father?

“You’ll learn,” Nancy promised, breathing deeply and squeezing her eyes shut. “Just because you had a bad dad doesn’t make you a bad one automatically. You can learn from his mistakes.” She was speaking from experience, Billy knew that. Ted Wheeler hadn’t been the most present of individuals, and Lonnie Byers had been right on up there with Neil Hargrove. “None of us had great dads, Billy,” Nancy continued. She relaxed against the bed, sweat shining on her forehead as the contraction faded. “But look at Jonny, he’s great. And you will be, too. Just give yourself grace.”

Billy couldn’t help the grin that made his way across his face. “Love that pipsqueak, but I want the shiny new one, Nancy,” he teased, poking gently at Nancy’s tummy. Nancy laughed right back, shaking her head.

“See? Starting the dad jokes already,” Nancy murmured. “You’ve got this.”

4:47 AM, the doctor and his nurses were flitting about the room. Jonathan had taken his post beside Nancy, holding her hand tightly. Billy and Steve had been given strict instructions to stay where they stood on the left side of the bed up by Nancy’s head, because, “There’s some parts you two don’t need to see!”

Billy bit his tongue, figuring now wasn’t the time to remind her that neither he nor Steve swung that way anymore. He knew Jonathan Byers could still throw a punch if he needed to. So instead, they stayed where they were instructed, hands clasped together tightly and Billy’s hand holding Nancy’s free one.

Now it’s 4:56 AM, and the doctor is encouraging Nancy to push. She’s screaming; Billy is horrified at the sound. Steve is frozen, and Billy thinks both his hands are going to be crushed at this rate given how hard both Steve and Nancy are squeezing. Billy is so glad he can’t have babies.

He’s in awe of the superhero laying on the bed in front of him. She’d done this twice already, and willingly agreed to do it again for them. He owed her so much.

And at 5:01 AM, there is the most piercing cry Billy’s ever heard. But it’s not Nancy, because she’s collapsed back against the bed, catching her breath as Jonathan leans over her and whispers in her ear. Her hand slips out of Billy’s, and his attention moves to the doctor, who is holding up the tiniest human being he’s ever seen. It’s face is pinched, it’s crying loudly, tiny feet kicking in the air.

The doctor declares the three best words Billy’s ever heard, aside from Steve’s first I love you in the dead of night way back in ‘86.

“It’s a girl!”

Billy’s world comes to a halt. This baby, this girl, she’s suddenly Billy’s whole world. “Which daddy wants to cut the cord?” a nurse offers, and Steve looks to Billy.

“Go ahead,” Billy whispers, squeezing Steve’s hand before letting him go. They’d talked about it before – Steve wanted to cut the cord,and Billy had no problem letting that happen. After all, Steve had wanted this a lot longer than Billy ever had. Billy’s vision blurred as he watched Steve take the tool from the nurse, followed her instructions to the minute detail, and just as quickly as she appeared, their daughter was gone. Something about tests and a bath and a diaper and –

Their daughter.

Steve’s arms wrapped around Billy quickly, hugging Billy close to his chest. “It’s real. She’s here.” Everything around them faded, all that existed in the room was Billy, and Steve, and the overwhelming sense of happiness filling the room. Steve eventually broke away from Billy to turn his attention to Nancy, who was smiling tiredly at them.

“Congratulations, daddies,” she whispered, reaching her hand out. She cupped Steve’s cheek, then Billy’s, both men leaning closer to the bed to let her reach.

“Thank you,” they whispered in unison – both of them sounded incredibly close to tears. Nancy’s smile only grew, shaking her head.

“I get first dibs at favorite auntie,” she teased. “Robin can take second place.”

Both men were laughing their agreement at 5:07 AM when the door opened again, and Billy spun on his heels to see the nurse bringing their daughter back in, only now she was clean and wrapped in a tiny receiving blanket and pale pink hat. “Well, Daddy, you want to hold her?” the nurse whispered, glancing up at Billy.

Billy wanted nothing more in the whole entire universe. His hands ached with the emptiness they felt right now, and he shuffled closer. Her tiny, perfect nose and closed eyes – he wondered what color they were. Cheeks pink and so, so peaceful. “I don’t want to hurt her,” he breathed out, making no move to take her from the nurse.

Steve’s hand pressed gently against Billy’s lower back, the man appearing beside his husband. “You’re not going to hurt her,” Steve promised, resting his head on Billy’s shoulder. “You’re her daddy, you’d never hurt her.”

“Here, put your hand under her head,” the nurse instructed patiently, and Billy slid his shaking hand between the nurse’s hand and his baby’s head. Soft, blonde hairs tickled his hand and he wanted to cry. “And the other one under her bum. Just like that, you got it!” Her voice was calming, soft, and Billy was mesmerized.

It’s May 3, 1999. At 5:08 AM, the nurse’s hands pulled away, and Billy Hargrove was holding his daughter, the perfect, precious angel, in his arms. He wanted to break down and cry, but refused to move, because he didn’t want to hurt her. He pulled her close to his chest, and Steve snuggled closer, reaching up to stroke his finger along her cheek.

“She’s six pounds, four ounces,” the nurse offered. “Nineteen inches.”

“She’s healthy?” Steve’s voice wavered hopefully, and Billy was able to tear his eyes away to look up at the nurse.

“Only a few minutes old and already acing tests. She’s perfectly healthy,” she smiled. “Only thing left to do now is name her.” The couple was silent for a moment.

They’d discussed names for months, tossing them out and gauging the other’s reactions. They’d settled on a boy name and a girl name, just so they were prepared. So the silence definitely wasn’t uncertainty.

For Billy, it was the knowledge that saying it outloud meant it was real. There was no going back. “Her name is Addison,” he whispered, looking to Steve for reassurance. Steve was staring at the sight before him, tears streaming down his face and a smile firmly planted on his lips as he nodded right back. “Addison Victoria Harrington.” For as emotional as he was, Billy’s voice was sure.

In his arms, Addison yawned deeply, face screwing up as her mouth opened wide before she immediately settled back into sleep in her father’s arms. “That’s baby for ‘I love it, Daddy!’” The nurse smiled, raising the pitch of her voice to mimic what their infant hadn’t actually said.

“And we love you,” Billy whispered, pressing the most delicate kiss he could muster to her impossibly small forehead. “So, so much.”

“So much,” Steve echoed, his hand wrapping around Billy’s waist. “Welcome to the family, little one.”

#harringrove #stranger things #billy hargrove #steve harrington #parentgrove au #insomniacwriter17 #ao3 #fandom #fanfic

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 2 years

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Love Song for a Vampire Pt.13

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan, Jacob Black x Bella Swan

Warnings: none

Words: 2597

Summary: You take it upon yourself to go find Bella.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39

Even when you managed to fall asleep, you were plagued by nightmares of Bella. Bloodless faces of newborns tear your pack limb from limb. All felt lost.

The following morning you awoke with dread in your chest that weighed you down into your mattress. Tomorrow was the day. So many lives were on the line and you were now allowing it to sink into you. If you all failed. . . The people of Forks and La Push would be in imminent danger and there would be no one to protect them. It would be a free for all for the newborn army, hungry after a battle.

Your parents and your friends could all be dead by the end of tomorrow. Now your side had lost the element of surprise by having Bella’s scent. Everyone was waiting for a surprise attack from Victoria.

“(Y/n)? Are you still in bed?” Your mom tentatively knocks on your door. Normally if they know you’ve been out on patrol, your parents will allow you to sleep in. Lately they could sense your anxiety and checked in on you frequently.

You roll yourself up, rubbing the heel of your palm against your eyes. Only able to get about three hours worth of sleep, you were not prepared to go out into the world. “Yes. But I’ve been awake for a while.”

The door opens and your mom’s concerned face pokes in. “Breakfast is ready. Why don’t you come out and eat with us.”

Nodding you start to slip out of bed, eyes still closed and struggling to flutter open. Once you finally do manage to wake up a bit and head toward your bedroom door, your mom gently stops you; putting her left hand against your cheek where the scab had been long gone. Now there was a dark scar that plagued your complexion.

So easy was it to read how your mom was feeling. Her eyes had always been so expressive. Now you read the deep worry that plagued her thoughts when she looked upon your face. Knowing that it was your fault made your chest throb uncomfortably. “Why don’t you call Sam and tell him to let you have the day off. You can use the rest.”

You would love nothing more than to do just that. But you couldn’t. Not now. Your pack needed everyone in attendance. “I can’t, ma.” She presses her lips together yet yields and bows her head lightly. “(Y/n), you don’t have to do this. You know that right? No matter what everyone else says, it’s your choice. Don’t put yourself in danger because you think you have to.”

A little laugh escapes you. “Ma. . . Thanks for saying that, but I don’t really have a choice. Not really. What else would I do with this gift?” Gift, you called it. But it felt more like a curse. It’s made you do things that you would have never done had you been just a normal human. Originally you had thought turning into a wolf was the coolest thing in the world. Come to learn that there was so many strings attached to it. Now it was ruining your life.

Closing her eyes, your mom gathers you into her arms. “I want you to be happy and safe, (y/n).”

If she only knew the extent of your duties. Lately you had neither been happy nor safe. Tomorrow you might not even be alive.

Negative thoughts swirled in your head like a snow globe. Knowing that you could die very soon made you cling to your mother in comfort. At least you were safe in her arms for a few moments.

You finished your breakfast just in time to catch the ring of your front door. Your dad had already been getting up to clear the table, but at the announcement of a guest he puts down the plates and hurries over.

“Afternoon Mr. (l/n).” Embry’s voice rang clear and it makes you rise and stride over to where your father stood.

“Hello Embry.” Managing an awkward smile, your dad glances at you for a moment. “That time, huh?”

“I didn’t get a call from Sam or anyone else in the pack.”

“They’re all out at the Cullen border.” Embry quietly informs you, unsure of how much to share while your dad was present. “Charlie is with them.”

You were great up that you at least had been giv en enough time to finish your.breakfast before throwing yourself back into the dangerous world of vampires and wolves. Giving your dad a brief side hug and saying goodbye to your mom, you head out with Embry.

No words had been spoken between the two of you since Edward’s phone call yesterday. Even passing the crest of the forest that lined your home, Embry remained quiet.

And when he did speak, it wasn’t about the hurt he had felt seeing you so enamored by Edward’s voice. “Charlie showed up at Billy’s a little while ago. He insists that he has a hand in the plan to save his daughter.”

“He definitely can’t join the actual fighting. The best thing he could do for us is make sure no human is around this area tomorrow.” Quietly musing, you hop over a large tree root that you used to make forts in. If you were missing, your parents always searched there first.

Embry nods. “Yeah, that’s what Sam said. But that doesn’t mean he can’t know about the plan. He just can’t participate physically.”

“So why are they at the Cullen border?”

“Best to have everyone present. Especially now since Charlie is involved. The Cullens can better explain the history leading up to Bella’s kidnapping. They have much to explain about all of Bella’s previous injuries.” When you found yourselves into the heart of the forest, both of you turn around and start to strip before changing into your wolf skin.

Once inside of your wolf, you hear the voices of your other pack members. The louder their voices grew in your head, the closer you grew to your destination. Even before then you smelled Edward’s scent. The one you try to retain each time. Vainly attempting to remember it while you went to sleep.

”Looks like (y/n) and Embry are finally here.” You heard Leah sneer.

Of course she couldn’t be nice for once. Not even when a startled Charlie accidentally bumps into her at the sight of you and Embry’s wolf forms. Recognition crosses his eyes when he takes a good look in your direction.

“You’re the one that saved me.” He acknowledges you.

Your tail sways cordially and you nod your head.

“That’s (y/n).” Carlisle smiles.

“And which one is Jacob?”

A deep russet wolf walks forward, meeting Charlie’s gaze. Cautiously, Charlie holds out his hand in front of him.

“That’s really you, Jake?”

Jacob bumps Charlie’s hand with his nose. ”Yeah, it’s me Charlie. I promise we’ll get Bella back.”

“He says that we’ll get Bella back.” Edward translates for everyone else who couldn’t hear what Jacob was thinking.

Charlie pats Jacob’s muzzle. “I know.”

You noticed how warm Charlie was toward Jacob, having his back turned to Edward and nearly treating him as if he weren’t there. Perhaps because the truth was out and Edward had failed to protect Bella from a supernatural foe that not even Charlie could deal with. He had entrusted his daughter to him. Charlie couldn’t fight this foe himself which must have frustrated the mortal man to no end.

Sympathy for Edward arose in your conscience. For such a powerful man, he looked helpless being ignored by Charlie. Bella’s kidnapping distressed him greatly; perhaps more than Charlie. For Edward did consider himself guilty. He wasn’t there to protect her. In fact, some may argue that he had brought all this danger to her because he was a vampire. If he had been normal, Bella would not have had to know this kind of world. A world where creatures drank blood to survive.

“Chief Swan.” Carlisle pulls his attention back to why they were all gathered. Human, wolf, and vampire alike. While the treaty rules were still up, at least all three of you could still manage to unite at least for Bella’s sake. Bella connected all three worlds to each other. “The confrontation with Victoria’s newborn army will be upon us tomorrow. Alice can still confirm that much. But Bella’s role in it has not been seen. We don’t know what Victoria plans for Bella.”

“Obviously nothing good.” If Jacob had his human face, you knew he’d have it scrunched up, like he thought Carlisle an idiot.

Thankfully Edward didn’t translate Jacob’s internal musing.

Charlie puts his hands in his pant pocket, perhaps out of a nervous fashion. “So you guys plan on fighting them while luring this Victoria away?”

“That was our original plan. We were going to use Bella’s scent to lure her in but now they might have the same idea.”

“Does she know about the wolves?”

“Yes. A while ago the wolves and Victoria crossed paths. But I don’t think she knows of us working together.” Carlisle admits.

Emmett, who had been unusually quiet, scoffed and narrowed his eyes at your side. “She probably thinks we’re enemies thanks to that big guy crashing into me.”

Paul snaps his jaws in Emmett’s direction. ”That leech was the one who got in my way!”

Sending Paul a silencing growl, Sam reprimands him. ”Stop acting like a child. Put aside your petty grievances.”

Having heard that prompted a small smile from Edward. Sam was giving him a little more respect since saving him.

“And Alice. . . ?” There was a tone of hopefulness in Charlie’s voice. Alice regretted shaking her head in reply.

“I can’t force my visions. They come at random. I’m sorry Charlie. . .” Alice bit her lip and darted her eyes away, unable to look at him anymore.

The man managed to maintain his calm composure although you did detect the reddening of his eyes. He didn’t let his emotions sway his actions. Something no one in your pack would be able to successfully achieve. Intense emotions sparked the wolf in you and made you do many things you would regret. The chances of saving Bella before the fight was unlikely.

Sam told the younger wolves (including yourself) to get some rest for tomorrow. He and the other seasoned pack members would be doing the patrol. How could anyone sleep with doom being held over your head? Nothing had comforted you in the conversation with Charlie. At least he would do his part in keeping any human away from the battlefield. That much he was able to do.

While Emily forced Seth to head home, you and your trio of boys go in the other direction where your homes waited. All four of you were quiet and contemplative. Quil, Jacob, and Embry hung out in the back. You noted that it had been a while since all three of them had been together. Ever since becoming part of Sam’s pack, there was a derisive split between them which saddened you. In your childhood, they had always been seen together like the Three Stooges. They were iconic among La Push. Now they were splintered.

Your parents were surprised that you were home so early, despite it only being fifteen after four in the afternoon. They were used to you coming home late at night or early in the morning.

“Is everything okay?” Your dad asks, double checking the hands on his watch. He must have just come home for work as he was now in his house slippers.

Looking at your dad, you force a small smile on your face to make his worried look disappear. “Yeah.” Once you’re safely inside of your bedroom, you sit on the floor and stare into space. Unconsciously your fingertips run along the scar on your face, your mind replaying the image of Xiomara’s contorted face and black eyes. You had been able to see your own terrified face staring back at you through her glossy eyes.

Thinking back on it always made your body begin to shake as you relive the horror. Seeing the dead body of the witch who was supposed to help you. The sounds that emitted from Xiomara’s twisted mouth as it morphed into a beak.

A cold sweat buds on your skin and you feel sick as you shut your eyes. But you could still see her. You were alive and she was dead, but Xiomara’s monstrous features never left you.

Bella came to mind suddenly.

She must be feeling the same terror. Believing that she was about to die at the hands of a hideous monster. Alone.

Like a reflex, you were on your feet and hand on the doorknob. Your heart raced. You couldn’t leave Bella like that. To wait and wonder all while suffering torment from the vampires. Feeling like a helpless child.

“Oh no.” You breathed, unable to remove your hand from the knob. “I’m about to do something stupid.” Hadn’t you learned from last night not to act hastily. But imagining Bella by herself killed you more than you thought it would. Shouldn’t you be taking this time to rejoice that they might kill her? Then you would have Edward all to yourself. You weren’t that kind of person, no matter how much you wanted not to care about her. “I’m about to do something stupid. . . I’m sorry Sam.”

Alice doubled over where she stood, her hands clamping down on either side of her head as she suppressed a cry. Jasper was at her side in seconds, helping her to sit down until it passed. She could even hear the concerned voices of her other family members. Just a piercing pain that struck her head and deafening ringing in her ears. Eyes squeezed shut, streaks like lightening rip through her mind. In them were like slow moving videos. (y/n) appeared to be the star as Alice could see her exiting a thicket of trees to come across a paved highway. She was in her human form and at first looked uncertain until she seems to confirm her actions and continues onward.

Her head pulsated when she struggled to look further, knowing that the only other occasion she had felt like this was when (y/n) was in grave danger. The future wouldn't let her though and soon the ringing in her ears faded out. Drilling in her skull slowly dissipated as well. This vision left her feeling weak, weaker than the last one. Alice was breathing heavily, allowing Jasper to mellow her.

When she opened her eyes, everyone was staring at her; only Edward knowing what was going on. He knew that stretch of highway. He had been there last night. With (y/n). She was going to find Bella by herself. Despite Sam's orders, she was going alone with no one else; taking it upon herself to rescue the girl that was her rival.

"I know where she is." Edward said quickly. He didn't want to waste anytime. This wouldn't be something she could do alone, as noble as it was. She needed help.

With her head in her hands, Alice gazes at Edward. "Hurry. Even if she is in her human form, who knows how far she'll make it before she runs into trouble."

Edward nods and in a flash he's already out the door, crossing the front lawn and into the depths of the woods.

-----------------------

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#edward cullen x reader #edward cullen fanfiction #edward cullen fanfic #edward cullen x you #twilight #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #twilight fanfic #twilight fandom

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emmy-dekarios-bg3 · 1 month

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Heart of the Weave - A Baldurs Gate fanfiction

CHAPTER 11 - GALE’S POINT OF VIEW

The glowing orange sun begins to set beautifully, causing an aura of lavender and rose in the sky, and I can tell Emmy has reached the point of overexhaustion. We decided to camp one last time before we make it home tomorrow; we thought we would make it home today. Luckily, we’re close and we don’t have much longer before we arrive back at our sweet home in Waterdeep. I already miss Tara, our comfortable bed, and the balcony that stands above the bright, glistening ocean with soft waves that sing such a calm song. I’m imagining the reflection of the moonlight upon the water with the love of my life beside me as we admire it. I’m picturing our new child being curled up on my chest as we inhale the air of the salt water. We haven’t been away long, but I already miss the romantic and calm aesthetic of our tower that stands above the sea. I’ve always appreciated it, but after being abducted by the nautiloid, I’ve learned to appreciate it even more.

Having Emmy in my arms as we rest is the most comforting feeling that I love, and will continue to love for the rest of my life as long as we’re both alive. I did not realize how exhausted I was. As I hold her close to me, watching her sleep in my arms, it isn’t long until the soft chirps of crickets cause me to pass out and drift into a heavy slumber filled with solace. I’m so tired, my body is practically numb and my eyes are full of tears from the constant yawning.

When morning arises, I open my eyes to see Emmy is not in my arms. She’s normally awake much later than I am, so I’m wondering if she just had trouble sleeping. I crawl out of the tent, noticing Karlach and Wyll eating, but no sight of my wife anywhere.

“Have you guys seen Emmy? How long have you been awake?”

“We’ve been awake for a couple hours now. We both went to snag some food for all of us, but haven’t seen her once,” Wyll says. “We assumed she was in the tent with you. Not a sight of her since we’ve been awake.”

“Oh my Gods… Do you think Raphael got her?” Karlach murmurs, covering her face with her hands. Fear sinks within me as I come to the realization that’s more than likely what happened, since she doesn’t appear to be nearby. It’s not like her to run off and not come back. My stomach begins to turn as I try not to think about what he could have done with her. Of course he would come when we least expect it and snag her when she’s most vulnerable, when she’s alone in the forest. He knows she’s weak, he knows she can’t fight. Devils are always watching.

“More than likely you’re correct,” I say. “She probably got up to use the bathroom and that’s when she was snatched. The opportunity presented itself when she couldn’t be protected. Damn it! How do we reach him? I should have felt her get up.” It’s taking everything in me not to have a manic episode, though it’s a challenge seeing as she could possibly be dead. No, Gale. She’s alive. She’s well. She’s pregnant with my baby – our baby – so it worries me that Raphael is getting exactly what he wanted, that maniacal, manipulative bastard. If I know anything about Raphael besides his diabolical tactics, it’s that he will hold her hostage and torture her like he did with Hope, a halfling we rescued from his home when we first broke in to steal the orphic hammer. It’s a long story, really.

“It looks like we have everything to summon ourselves to his home, but we’re missing the metal that goes in the center,” Karlach says, searching through her bag. “Son of a nutcracker, nothing!”

“Can’t we use a soul coin?” Wyll suggests. “It’s made of the same metal as the one we need for the summoning circle.”

“You son of a duke, that’s why I love you! Well, for other reasons too, of course.” Unfortunately, while I’m skilled in the arcane and would consider myself a rather good cook, I cannot draw a summoning circle for the life of me. Invading a devil’s home isn’t exactly a skill of mine that I hone.

“Could one of you draw a summoning circle and I’ll put in the material?” You can hear the hurt and brokenness in my voice, and Karlach and Wyll look at each other with worried eyes. Karlach places her hand on my shoulder, her eyes demanding my attention.

“Of course, Gale. Just so you know, it’s going to be alright. Deep breaths, Papa Gale, I’m sure she’s okay.”

“Thank you, Karlach.” As they draw the summoning circle, I begin to dissociate and visualize Emmy’s smile on our wedding day, the shine in her eyes as she stares at me with desire, the way her dark, curly hair falls behind her head as I say my vows. I can’t forget her cheek bones and the way they plump up as she smiles. The moment I placed my hand on her cheek before kissing her was my favorite moment to ever exist. I think about the moment she told me she was pregnant, how I suddenly got this overwhelming sense of protection. Fear sinks in as well as my protective instincts as Wyll shakes my shoulder gently.

“You ready, NightinGALE?” Wyll says, then immediately regrets his joke. I smile, still filled with worry and a pound of sickness within me as I walk toward the circle. It begins to light up, flames rising up as we’re being surrounded by flames, a horrific wave of magic causing our bodies to glow, and before I know it we disintegrate into the realm.

Being stuck in the in-between area of our world and Hell is quite a horrific trip I did not ever want to be in again, but for the sake of my wife and baby’s lives, I need to do what I have to do. I hear the deafening screeches of imps, piercing my ear drums as we drown into the Hells. I don’t know what lies ahead of us or what our ultimate goal is, but I really hope we can bargain with Raphael, though it seems our chances are rather slim given our past with him.

It’s like one giant flash of light, as if my soul is being transferred to the afterlife, my body being completely separated from what’s inside of me. Flames are consuming us for a minute, but I finally find myself in the home of Raphael. Luckily, Emmy is right there when we arrive, her body chained to the wall with soul chains. These are the exact same chains that were used to lock up Dame Aylin. Raphael, unfortunately, is also in the same room and it appears he’s interrogating her for something – maybe a deal of some sort. I gasp, watching her squirm for her life as the fiendish devil gets up in her face.

“You took EVERYTHING from me,” he snarls, his face up against her. His voice is stern and so deep that it’s spine-tingling. I can feel my blood boil as he speaks to her with such malice. “So for that, you will be my new ‘Hope.’ Locked here for centuries, begging for mercy, begging to be set free while your child will be my thrall, feeding off the souls of the unfortunate. It will be a slave, growing up to do my bidding, and then…you will watch as I tear it to shreds. A well-deserved punishment.” I wonder what he was speaking to her about before we showed up. Surrounding us are various cambions, staring us down should we make a single move. Though they don’t particularly make me nervous, the ill-intentions of Raphael sure give me a wave of stomach-turning anxiety. I can feel my face tighten, several angry emotions swirling within me as I try not to attack this bastard.

“I just didn’t want you to have the crown!” she pleads, her voice broken from all the cries. “We needed the orphic hammer, but we couldn’t allow you to have the crown. It was in everyone’s best interest.”

“Oh please, do you think I care about anyone’s ‘best interest’? No. All I care about is ruling over the Nine Hells and taking control of the devils, making them bow to me like the servants they are. They will have no power over me. Oh, silly girl. Mystra is a fool knowing damn well what she was giving up, who she was giving it to. Your husband worships a false idiot who claims to be all-powerful with magic. He’s just as pathetic as she is.” He touches her bare stomach with his hands, trickling it up and down with his index claw. I can hear him laugh as he’s thinking heavily on his next move.

“Let her GO!” I shout, approaching Raphael but he pushes me back with extreme force. It’s as if I lost all control and couldn’t contain my anger, which never happens. I fly in the air, feeling my back land on the hard floor beneath me.

“You will not interrupt,” he growls, looking back at Emmy. “She will be mine.”

“What do you want?” she cries out. “What can I give you to set me free?” Tears are dripping from her face as she struggles within the chains. Her body is weak, tired, and her face shows nothing but despair. It pains me to see her this way and it’s taking everything in me not to obliterate this creep.

“Emmy, my love,” I whimper, swallowing the words I want to scream at this devil’s evil face. I’m holding back screams and the urge to try and kill this fucker for good, but I know it won’t do a damned thing.

“NOW you want to bargain with the likes of me?” Raphael laughs, touching her belly with his sharp claw again, causing her to flinch. Her eyes widen as she begins to breathe heavily. I clench my fist and fight my words, but she might have him by a chokehold somehow.

“Raphael, please let her go,” I say. “What can we do?”

“Ah, the pathetic wizard who would bow down to the worthless and pitiful goddess that gave the crown to me. One of the people who destroyed me in my own home.” His piercing gaze is digging deep into me, but I’m not allowing it to intimidate me at all. “You’re all too late for any deals. Nice attempt, however.” He continues to trace his claw across her belly, laughing quietly but with a deep tone. He presses his finger deeper into her flesh, causing all of us to panic.

“Please!” Emmy begs, her screams nearly deafening as she pleads for mercy. Karlach and Wyll move up in front of me to face him, ready to fight but I pull them both back with my hands. I can’t let them attack him; it seems we’re close to being able to make a deal with the man.

“Gale, we need to fight this fucking clown,” Karlach says. “He won’t stop unless we destroy him again.”

“He can’t die, remember? Especially as a ruler of the Nine Hells, it will be physically impossible. That will only make this entire situation much worse. Please.” Karlach sighs, and she steps back with Wyll, feeling a sense of defeat by the looks of it. “Trust me, I know the feeling.” Silence fills the room as Raphael turns around to face me, finally moving his hand away from Emmy’s skin.

“Fine. I assume you’re not willing to part with your unborn child. So, give me the Orphic hammer back and promise to never set foot in the House of Hope ever again. This is your only warning. Barge in again and your soul will rot in the stench of Hell, with your body. Understand?”

“Yes, deal. Thank you,” Emmy says, and he releases her from the soul chains. She takes the Orphic hammer and hands it to him, knowing damn well she has no use for it anyway. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” I look back at Raphael, noticing an evil expression on his face, as if he’s planning something diabolical, though I imagine it doesn’t involve us. He will still rule the Hells, but there’s nothing we can do. All I can imagine is that he plans on finding Hope again and feeding off her misery once more.I just know it. That’s what he’s known for – using people and feeding off their misery. We’re lucky we got away from him this time, but who knows if he has something nasty planned for the future?

We leave the House of Hope, which apparently is about to not exist in Avernus, and it will be rebuilt in the deeper depths of the Hells. If his plan is to recapture Hope, I feel so sorry for the poor girl. One can only hope that’s not part of his plans. We’re back on solid grounds, though I can safely say I did not expect us to get away that quickly. Emmy hugs me tight, as if she never wants to let me go. I can’t blame her.

“I thought we wouldn’t make it in time,” I murmur in her ear, feeling a tear leave the corner of my right eye. I almost lost her. I rub her back as she keeps her head placed on my chest.

“I love you Emmy, but damn girl, it’s scary how easily you can get away from an archdevil,” Karlach adds. “I have a feeling he has something else planned. If only we knew what. Let’s just…hope it doesn’t involve us.” I continue to embrace her, worried about the future of the world, what will happen, and the fear of surviving it all. We barely escaped Raphael’s clutches. Something tells me he was going to kill her.

“I’m just glad all I had to do at the time was give up the Orphic hammer, which I’m shocked I even had it on me at all,” Emmy says. “I could have sworn I sold it.” I often wonder why he didn’t just send one of his workers to try and steal the orphic hammer from us to begin with, but I guess he’s all about the theatrics.

I’m damn lucky we got away from our encounter with Raphael, but the question remains if it’ll happen again. There’s no way someone like him would let us off so easily, but maybe he knows he’s all-powerful and he already has what he wants. While we are more than ready to make it back to Waterdeep, all of us fear what we may come across again.

#raphael bg3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #professor gale #gale x tav #shadowheart #karlach #wyll ravengard #lae'zel #halsin #astarion #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfiction

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scoups4lyfe · 1 year

Text

Journal Entries of Bipolar sh*t compiled to Show the Mind of Someone with BP:

[Entries from my mood journals:]

TW: Mental Health

These entries are personal, I wrote them as I was going through whatever I end up writing about, I took out any personal details so it reads like ANON.

[Next]

Energy Levels:

July 15th 2020:

Questionable levels of energy. Went to bed at 9am and woke up at 6pm. Just really tired, I feel just,,,, exhausted in an empty almost depressive kind of way. Could a depressive episode be looming on the horizon? Conversely, however, my energy has been pretty high the last three-four days at least. I’ve been somewhat motivated, getting work done, and also having major problems with insomnia that really kind of came out of nowhere. That’s why I couldn’t fall asleep until 9am last night. (Though my time blindness when doing things I enjoy certainly doesn’t help.)

July 16th 2020:

(went to bed at 9am, awoke at 7pm)

Another feeling of low energy. I’d rate it about 3.5/10 (5 being normal.) Mood wise, I'm in a rather neutral mood, though I’m starting to worry that it’s getting more and more apathetic. (Especially when I’m dehydrated.)

Executive dysfunction is rearing its ugly head. It’s hard for me to do things, I kinda want to curl into a ball and do nothing for great periods of time. I find it hard to really be motivated or to make myself WANT to look nice when I see my friend tomorrow. It’s actually kind of worrying, but my overall mood (as I said) is still pretty neutral.

July 17th, 2020: A solid 3/10

(Bed @ 7/8-ish am. Woke at 1:09pm to go to a friend’s.)

I just feel tired and kinda zen, not gonna lie. Like relaxed and ready to slip into unconsciousness at any moment. Not necessarily as apathetic as yesterday, but that could be because I am around my good friend, and being around my good friends makes me happy, distracted, and more energized, even with barely any sleep.

July 18th 2020:

Bed time: Close to 11:30 pm Wake Up: Close to 9am. (Like 8:40 am or something)

A solid 2.2/10

I’ve had low energy for a bit now and I know it’s starting to roll into my apathetic depressions. Today [friend] wanted me to go to the gym/pool with [them] and I was REALLY not feeling it, but [they] were gungho for it and were talking about it like it was already going to be a done-deal. This kinda soured me because I really do not want to move around much when I’m like this and I ESPECIALLY did not want to go to the pool— I knew I’d be the only one in the pool, alone, because I didn’t bring shoes so I either had to wait horrendously by myself in the locker room or pool it out alone until someone joined me after their workout.

I DID feel great when I stepped into that lukewarm shower before having to get into the pool, but like, WOAH MAN, I got super apathetic, I contemplated just staying in the shower for an hour and like hOO wow. Not great. 0/10 would not recommend.

I did actually enjoy the pool though and after about 15 minutes of [friend] joining me I began to go back to a more neutral state of mind, so that was good.

When we went to the mall it was fun too, but for some reason (I can’t even explain why) I hit a low— low, and started to second-guess everything (even my friendship with them) and wondered if I should never talk or see them ever again from then on. It was really melodramatic and I don’t even know why I thought about it for a minute there. After a few minutes I was snapped back to normal by hanging out with my friends and then I was kinda okay again.

Emotionally (when I’m not feeling low energy/apathetic/empty AF) I feel on the verge of just breaking down into tears and laughing like a maniac.

July 24th

Bed: 9pm-ish Woke: 5am

Energy: 4-ish (Maybe even a bit more of a 3.5 rn)

These last few days have been a blur tbh. I went on a webtoon-reading, what-music-was-I-listening-to-in-middle-school binge these last couple of days and so I remember not much. The hyper focus really had me there lol.

July 28th 2020:

Bed: 1:15 am Woke: 6:30 am

Mood: When I was awake earlier and reading, about a 3. RIGHT NOW??? 1.5/10 and quickly approaching a meltdown.

I am SO SO tired and almost about to have an emotional breakdown for no reason. I have no idea where this is coming from but I am going to tuck into bed and disappear from existence because I need to sleep for 19hrs or I WILL throw a fit.

**Some notes for July 28th. I tried to sleep at 7/8pm because I felt an incoming meltdown. But then I was suddenly wide awake? Like my energy was at a 7 while my mood was at a 0.5. Basically, not fun, would never repeat again.

July 31st, 2020:

Bed: Around midnight/1 am woke: 3pm.

Energy: 4/10

I don’t know why I slept for so long, but I def. could have slept longer. In fact most of the day I felt kind of bleh.

Not terrible enough to lie down but also not normal-normal.

August 26th, 2020:

Woke: 7pm Slept: 9/10am

Mood: 4.5/10

In general I’ve felt fine. Not as exhausted, and definitely in a good mood. Maybe it’s because I’m purposefully taking it easy while still trying to accomplish the small things. Ahhhh I feel so accomplished, yo!!!

But just as a general warning, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay optimistic. (Hopefully for a long time.) I just feel the depressive episode on the horizon. For now, I’m doing self care so that I can fight it off, but hopefully it won’t be “only a matter of time.”

Thursday — September 17th, 2020:

Slept: 1am woke: 7:30am

Mood: 5/10 ENERGY: 2.5/10

Though I’m in a pretty genial mood, I just feel so tired. Which makes no sense because yesterday I woke up at like 7pm and went to bed at 1am. So WHAT TF bro. I’ve just been lying in my bed all day because that’s like the only way I feel somewhat decent.

Kinda want to take a nap but I know that’ll do me absolutely no good whatsoever, so I’m gonna stay awake and try to be as productive as I can be when I’m lying down in a horizontal position.

[Journal Entry]

“Saturday: October 10th, 2020 — Around Night

Right now I feel invincible. Like I can write and capture that perfect melody. Pen to paper. Pencil to sketchbook. For this moment, just right now, I feel as if I could do anything, and that makes me so, so, happy.

Today is a happy day, which is made funnier or perhaps more ironic by the fact that I didn’t even want to wake up today. [Which I did, begrudgingly, at 6pm-ish.]

The tides really do come and go. So never feel too down. At some point you’ll feel like this again. The cogs keep turning and life goes on.

Mood: 10/10 Energy: 10/10.”

[End quote]

...

“October 13th, 2020 — Tuesday, 10:45 AM.

So many thoughts have taken travels in my hand. Today I feel invincible again. Much like I did in the last entry. I have been an unfortunate disappointment to my family, though. My energy, motivation, and time has been entangled lately. Entangled deep into my mind, my media, and the interests I partake in: The Void ™.

Therefore I haven’t been of much help, entertainment, or enjoyment for my loved ones. Last Sunday our relatives gathered at our house to celebrate [my brother's] birthday. Yet I stayed in bed. I did not celebrate with them, and ignored their asks of me. I’m quite disappointed in myself for being this way. I can only strive to be better. I may not have been energetic or involved these last few days, but I feel much better now that I’ve gotten rest.

Though I’ll always be fighting with that void that distracts and captures my attentions, I won’t let these strings choke me.” [End Quote]

…

October 18th 2020:

Slept: 10am Woke: 4am

Mood:2.5/10. Energy:2/10

I just feel very anxious (like pit of nervous energy going 100mph in my stomach) anxious. I’m gonna try and nap the wired energy off cause it’s making me panicked

[Journal Entry]

“October 18th, 2020 — Sunday, 3:46 AM

I’ve gone and slept all of saturday. But hopefully this will fix my sleep schedule. I’m also (not quite anxious, but I know the tension is there, rising, ready to explode on the horizon. Already it’s October 18th, and yet it feels as if I’ve accomplished nothing. And perhaps I haven’t.”

[End quote]

…

“October 24th, 2020 — Saturday, 9:55 PM.

At the beginning of this page I felt indescribable emotion fill me. Everything was pointless. I’d forgotten how to fly and instead remembered how to nap. For a singular moment I wanted to sleep into nonexistence. I wanted to cry, too. But mostly, I was just tired. I could do nothing but sit and want to sleep, and I had not even the strength or energy to loathe myself for this. So I decided to scrapbook instead and then maybe sleep after I’d written all this leak in me from pen to paper. But in the (time it) took for me to design the page I fell out of my emotional range. Instead I felt calm. Pacified. Silly, isn’t it? I’m supposed to edit today and tomorrow, but I’ve let today slip away.

I’ve also eaten too much again. I feel sick. Like I’m eating as much as I can before a hibernation. Does my body feel a depressive episode coming before I do? Is that it? Or is my overeating and lack of control leading me into a spiral? I shouldn’t be feeling like this. So much anxious, emotional energy. I’m wired as shit and I hate this jittery-ness.

It’s suffocating. Like a snake’s wrapped itself over me and keeps constricting, tighter, and tighter, and tighter, till there’s nothing left.”

[End of entry]

…

“November 10, 2020 — Tuesday

Pros: I watched lupinranger like 3 times in the span of 3 days.

Cons: I watched lupinranger like 3 times in the span of 3 days.”

[End Quote]

[Around 3 month time skip]

[Sunday, February 28th, 2021 — 2:04 AM]

“I’m treading water. Another month passes. Hopefully I’ll make all I can of this last day. I walked some, but I still haven’t reached my desired destination. Guess I have no choice but to keep going! Everything has a time. I can only continue trying. That’s all I can do. To quit is to have nothing for myself, not even dreams. ‘Being confident that he who began a good work in you will carry on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.’ (-Something Phillipians.)

I dream of many things. I pray that March gives me what I need. Please be here with me, hold my hand in these times and keep me close in your thoughts. I’m trying. I’m always trying. Day by day, hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute. I can’t do this alone. (I wish I could.) My brain is so easily distracted and it’s hard to get by even doing things I joy. I wish I had something that could force me to function. All I have is myself.

One day I won’t just be writing dreams with no evidence. Every step is part of the journey (even if it doesn’t feel like it.) So thank you for walking with me. I don’t have the strength to do this alone. Please, please hold my hand through the anxieties and whisper that it’ll be alright. I’m blindfolded, and I’m walking on a tightrope, and I need you to tell me when and how to jump so that I’ll land in the net. I’m blind but I’m listening. September 30th feels a lightyear away. It’s hard to forget the lack when you’re faced with it everyday. And I’m unsure. Please tell me that it’s worth it. Please. Please help me. Please. Please lead me. Please help me.”

[End of entry.]

Part: [1], [2], [3], [4]

This is the first part of the journal entries, I'll be uploading another compilation after each newly posted PPT essay.

Bipolar PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6]

Visuals of depressive episodes: (1), (2)

PPT Essay Extras: (1), (2), (3)

[Next]

#here y'all go #now after this I'll liveblog more revice <33 #my thougts #manic depression #bipolaire #actually bipolar #fvcking moodswings ⚡️✌️#journal #diaryposting #online diary #writing #good source for peeps who want to write a Bipolar character #neurodiversity #neurodivergencies

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my-head-is-an-animal · 2 years

Text

Come Home

Chapter 11

Jack lay awake, Ova laying across his chest, sleeping soundly. He didn’t want to move, he never wanted to leave the sanctuary of his bed, never wanted to know the feeling of being without her again. Her soft rhythmic breathing was soothing, making him feel at peace with everything.

He could feel her entire body pressed into his side, it felt right and he wondered if he could have convinced her to remain in bed with him instead of going to the airfield with Carter and Teal’c.

Jack knew it was selfish and he’d already made a promise to himself not to act selfishly where Ova was concerned, she deserved better than that. He eventually drifted off and was able to get a few hours of sleep before he needed to take Ova to the airfield.

He decided he wanted to make her breakfast before that, make it so she felt how warm he could be. Pancakes had seemingly become a favourite of hers and it happened to be something he was good at. He made her some coffee as well, she liked that a little on the sweet side and he actually kind of loved that about her.

Jack turned around, placed the pancakes from the pan onto a plate, something catching his eye. Ova stood at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the banister, smiling at him. Jack smiled back, leaning on the counter, she looked so perfect standing in his t-shirt, presumably with nothing else underneath.

‘I made pancakes.’ He said, making her laugh.

Ova came to sit opposite him and Jack slid the plate towards her, pouring her coffee. He handed her a fork and watched her take the first bite, leaning on his hand while she ate happily for a while.

‘So,’ Jack grabbed his own plate and began eating. Even he could admit, he’d made them just right. ‘You… wanna talk about last night?’ He said, suddenly feeling awkward and finding his fork the most interesting thing in the world.

‘I think I made my feelings clear.’ Ova frowned, still chewing slowly.

‘Yeah,’ Jack nodded, remembering the feel of her wrapped around him and smiling. ‘Yeah, you did.’ He shook his head trying to refocus. ‘I just… I don’t know, I thought you might… I don’t know.’

He could feel Ova watching him. ‘Is there something you want to talk about?’ She asked, a little worry in her voice.

Jack looked up at her. Those grey eyes were everything he needed to refeel the night once again, he felt a jolt of memory go through his body. Jack sucked in a deep breath and put his fork down.

‘I…’ Jack started, unsure of where he was going with the sentence. ‘I think we should maybe keep this to ourselves.’

Ova’s smile disappeared. ‘You’re ashamed of what-‘

‘No.’ Jack interrupted her, moving himself around the counter, his hand instinctively going to her hand. ‘No, I’m not, not even a little.’ He assured her, watching for the moment she believed him. ‘I just… I’ve been trusted to show you the planet and… not… let my feelings get in the way of that.’

‘What do you mean?’ Ova turned to face him properly. Her legs brushing his and he’d give anything to just slide between them once more.

Jack frowned for a moment. ‘You’re not ignorant to chain of command and there must have been some kind of rule stopping relationships between… officers where you come from?’

Ova smirked. ‘No, there wasn’t.’ She said, surprising him. ‘As long as the job got done, no one really cared how.’

‘Really?’ Jack felt him leaning a little more towards her.

‘We were at war and we were desperate to win.’ Ova shrugged. ‘Also, I’m not a part of the SGC, or in your command.’

‘True.’ Jack was happy to go along with the technicality.

‘So, your point seems rather moot.’ Ova placed her forefinger in her mouth, licking off the excess syrup, but Jack had a feeling it was an intentional lure.

He cleared his throat, finding himself positioned between her legs and his fingertips drifting over her bare thigh once again.

Jack inhaled deeply, he placed his hand on the table, needing to make his point clear before they went on.

‘I’ve been trusted…’ Jack tried again, but stopped himself, feeling his head sink back into a daze. ‘I wasn’t supposed to do this, but I did and now I’m asking that we keep it between ourselves.’

‘What’s the punishment?’ Ova asked curiously.

Jack thought it an unusual question, but he bobbed his head from side to side before answering. ‘Well, could be anything from a telling off to dismissal.’

‘Hm.’ Ova thought carefully. ‘I don’t understand, but if it means you get to keep your position and continue to do your work, I will pretend nothing happened.’

Jack’s eyebrows raised. ‘Right. Okay. Good.’ He was about to go back to eating his breakfast, when he added something else. ‘But you know, when we’re on our own… in private… anything goes.’

Ova cheeky glint returned. ‘Anything?’ She asked, her voice deepening.

Jack couldn’t help his smile. ‘Oh yeah.’

He slowly placed himself back between her legs, sliding his hand up into her soft hair and kissed her deeply. Ova’s hands gripped his shirt as he felt her leaning up for more. He pulled away reluctantly.

‘But we do need to get to the base,’ he said, not really wanting to leave. ‘Carter’s excited and Teal’c’s… well, you know.’

Ova chuckled and he stole another kiss before getting them ready to leave and heading off to the airfield.

He watched her all day, flying planes, learning about reactors and other things he didn’t understand. Ova was excitable, but there was something naive about her, like she wasn’t quite present, finding things difficult to process… like a child.

‘You alright?’ Jack asked her just before she got into another plane with Teal’c.

Ova recognised his sincerity. ‘Fine.’

‘Really?’ Jack frowned, making sure he stood an appropriate distance away to avoid arousing suspicion. ‘Because you seem a little… I don’t know, not very strategic.’ He hoped he made his point and the slight recognition in her eyes told him she did.

‘I must be reverting a little quicker since the Asgard changed the reset in my chamber.’ She shrugged.

‘And you’re not worried about that?’

Ova smiled gently. ‘Or it’s me settling into who I really am, Jack.’

‘Right.’ Jack nodded once. He noted the faint disappointment creeping over her face, but wasn’t sure why. ‘Anyway, Teal’c’s waiting to take you up in this thing. Go have fun.’

Jack stepped away and wondered more about how far she would revert before she needed to go back into the chamber. He wondered what that would look like and if there was anything he could do to help her when she did start reverting.

She had fun with Teal’c flying the plane, she loved the speed and even took the stick for a few rounds. Jack loved listening to her fly, her piloting was second to none, she really was a fleet commander.

Carter was monitoring her progress and was rattling off the stats and what they meant, but Jack wasn’t listening, he wanted to be up in that plane with her, but he wasn’t.

They soon landed and it was one of the only times Jack had seen Teal’c with a smile on his face. They were having fun and he couldn’t have asked for more.

Carter began asking Ova what she thought and Ova went into detail about it and where she could see improvements needed to be made. Again Jack sat around with Teal’c waiting for Ova to finish.

Jack decided to invite General Hammond and Dr Fraiser to dinner and all of them went out to celebrate the end of Ova’s stay on Earth. She sat between himself and Dr Fraiser, opposite Sam who knew more about wine than he did and they discovered that also wasn’t her thing.

‘Sweet tooth.’ Jack suddenly said. Everyone looked at him.

‘Jack?’ Daniel frowned.

‘You’ve been eating pancakes and pie all week,’ he suddenly said to Ova, who wasn’t sure what was happening, but Sam and Fraiser caught on. ‘You guys know what I’m talking about right?’

‘Oh yeah.’ Fraiser nodded, looking oh so very cool.

Sam, Fraiser and Ova ordered cocktails and it was much more to her liking, the sweet taste was one she preferred and Jack felt a hint of pride that he remembered the details about her. Ova clearly appreciated it and though she wasn’t drunk, she definitely felt the alcohol making her laugh more and relax into the night.

Even Hammond was getting into the swing of things and taught her to dance a little close to the bar. He was a gentleman and making Ova laugh and she slowly picked up the steps, but Jack felt a wave of jealousy. He wanted to dance with her as well, hold her close again and make her laugh.

Jack doubted anyone noticed his demeanour, but Teal’c definitely had his suspicions and sat beside him.

‘Ova is a most proficient pilot, O’Neill.’ He said, interlocking his fingers over the counter.

Jack nodded sipping his beer. ‘You kids sounded like you had fun up there.’

‘Indeed.’ Teal’c regarded him for a moment. ‘Are you not happy, O’Neill?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You are sitting alone, drinking copious amounts of alcohol.’ Teal’c observed. Jack just side-eyed him and took another sip of his beer.

‘I’ve only had three.’ It was a weak defence, but it was the only one he had and it kept Teal’c quiet.

Jack continued to watch Ova have a good time with the people around her until it got late. He needed to take her home and let her get some rest before she left with Thor the next day.

She was a little unsteady as she got into his car, but she was still smiling the same way she had been all night. Ova figured out the radio and found a station she liked. She settled back into her seat and looked up at the clear night sky, watching the way the stars flickered in the sky.

‘You have fun tonight?’ Jack asked as they travelled through the city.

‘Yes.’ She sighed, softly, making him feel another lurch in his chest. ‘Is there something wrong, Jack?’

‘Hm, no. Why?’

‘You’ve been distant.’ She turned to face him and he felt like he was under a microscope, stilling as he tried to work out what to say. ‘I understand that you don’t want anyone to know what we did, but doesn’t it raise more suspicion that you put such distance between us all night?’

Jack could see her point, but honestly, that wasn’t the reason he put such distance between them. He stayed quiet for a while, trying to figure out his words, but it took longer than he thought. Ova remained patient all the way back to his house.

Jack opened the front door, standing to one side to let her in first.

‘You’re leaving tomorrow.’ He said, closing the door behind him. Ova already had one foot on the bottom step. She stopped and turned to face him with a small frown. Jack sucked in a deep breath, taking his jacket off. ‘I made a mistake last night,’ he hated every word coming out of his mouth. ‘I shouldn’t have kissed you,’ he could see the hurt in her eyes, but he couldn’t let her get the wrong impression. Jack stepped towards her. ‘And please believe me when I say, it would have taken everything I have not to… but the only thing that’s happened now is that when you go…’ Jack swallowed a surprising lump in his throat. ‘I might not get the chance to do it again.’

Ova’s eyes widened as she understood. She turned her whole body to face him. ‘Jack, I feel the same way.’ She said. ‘There is a part of me that never wants to leave.’ She told him, making him take the last step towards her so that he was completely in her space and he could smell the sweet scent of the cocktails she’d been drinking all night. ‘I woke up in this strange place and the only thing left for me was grief, but you helped me feel everything except that.’

Jack knew the beer was to blame, but he was desperate to feel her again. His hands instinctively went to her waist as his mouth grazed hers. He held out on actually kissing her, but it was difficult, she just made him feel incredible.

‘Jack,’ she breathed and he may as well have been kissing her with how close he was. Her hands rested on his chest and he could feel her reluctance to give in as well. ‘Please don’t ask me to stay. If you do, I’ll never find out if any of my people survived.’

Jack’s eyes closed all the way, pressing his forehead to hers, he understood. He wasn’t sure what they had shared the previous night, but he knew it ran deeper than anything he’d ever felt for anyone before. He knew that asking her to stay after that would only mean her happiness would be short-lived, she would never find her people and he would never forgive himself for keeping her like that.

‘I won’t ask you to stay.’ Jack promised her, speaking quietly close to her mouth. ‘But, let me say goodbye tonight… while I still can.’

Ova’s breathing stuttered and suddenly she was kissing him. God, she tasted good, she felt good, she was perfect.

Jack didn’t hesitate, if this was his last chance to hold her, kiss her, he’d take it. He held her close to his body, turning them so he had her pinned to the wall next to the stairs, his hands roaming up her sides, feeling her shape as he kissed her deeply and with no resistance.

Ova groaned when his teeth dragged over her bottom lip and the same feeling rushed through him as if he were inside her already. Jack didn’t want to let anything slide away from him. He once again lifted her body around him, still pinning her to the wall and feeling his hips grind against her.

It took a moment or two, but he managed to get them up the stairs and once again to his bedroom.

They made love every which way they could imagine. Jack felt her surround him, consume him, her moans echoed through his mind and vibrated in his body. He worshipped every part of her being, drawing everything out of her that he could.

Ova was adventurous and his kind of woman, she loved the same things he did and eventually he wasn’t hesitant about doing anything with her. He remembered his words from that morning. Anything goes. He was glad she agreed.

Jack breathed heavy into her shoulder as they lay against the pillows, his arms wrapped around her body, feeling her back pressed to his chest as they began to calm down. He was still inside her, but neither of them made any move to change that.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but Jack found some comfort in kissing her shoulder and neck lightly. Her soft skin against his mouth was a feeling he didn’t want to let go of so easily, his memory wasn’t perfect, but maybe by kissing her as softly as he was, he could somehow make his memory work better for when she was no longer there.

‘I’ll miss you too.’ Ova whispered, her breathing was still slightly stuttered.

Jack stopped kissing her for a moment and resting his forehead against her shoulder, he took a deep breath, inhaling her sweet scent.

‘I love you.’ Jack said it quietly, but her stillness indicating she heard loud and clear. He wanted to take the words back, but not the feeling. He was adamant about the way he felt, but he knew saying it would only make it harder for her to leave. And he knew she needed to leave. ‘I’m sorry.’ He whispered, lifting his head a little.

‘You can’t take it back now.’ She was crying, not a lot, but enough that he felt terrible.

Jack loosened his grip around her body enough that he could prop himself up on his elbow behind her. Jack brushed her hair out of the way and released the breath he was holding onto.

‘But I’m glad you said it.’ Ova sniffed, surprising him. ‘Because, I love you too.’

Jack felt his heart start to thump hard against his rib cage. Ova turned her head to see him. Her grey eyes were still dark, but now there was red in them from where the emotion had gotten the better of her.

‘Jack?’ She breathed, he hadn’t said anything for a while, he was just staring at her.

Jack let a breath go that he didn’t know he was holding onto. He kissed her harshly, growing hard inside her once more, surprising himself, but so did her want to be with him again so soon.

Ova’s hips began pushing back against him and he couldn’t believe how ready he was to make love to her all over again. He slid his hand down her body, feeling her shape once again and find his way between her legs.

Ova’s groans were heavenly, he pulled every last piece of pleasure he could, even testing the waters for more he could get from her.

‘God, Ova.’ He panted, really not having it in him to move anymore. Jack was at least glad that she was the same.

There was a thin layer of sweat that coated the both of them and Jack didn’t mind in the slightest. The fact that it was with her made all the difference, they whispered ‘I love yous’ over and over again, each time he heard it, he felt her love reaching deeper and deeper inside him. They were a part of each other in every way conceivable and it was euphoric.

‘Zero, three, twenty-two.’ Ova panted. Jack turned his head to see her, her perfectly formed chest was heaving breath into her lungs.

‘Huh?’ He frowned.

Ove turned to face him and smiled. ‘That’s the time.’ She said as if it were somehow significant.

‘Yeah…?’ Jack ran his hand over his face, still not understanding.

‘That was the time my cryochamber jettisoned from the Atlas.’

Jack frowned. ‘Atlas?’

‘That was my ship in the fleet,’ she explained, but it seemed like a struggle. ‘The Atlas was responsible for over two hundred Olympian mother ships.’

‘Right.’ Jack said, still not seeing the point of mentioning it.

‘Time was very important to my people, it was more a spiritual thing, but a lot of us believed that things that occur at consecutive times are significant.’ Ova sighed out a deep breath.

‘So, the fact that you began making your way here and… what we did… at the same time… that’s supposed to mean something?’ Jack frowned.

‘If you believe in that kind of thing.’ Ova smiled at him, he couldn’t help but let his own smile go.

Jack sucked in enough breath to lift himself back up onto his elbow. ‘And the people who believe in that sort of thing, presumably are the same ones that share a fork for the first time on their wedding day and think that’s significant?’

Ova chuckled, not being able to do much more than that.

‘Three, twenty-two.’ Jack looked over at the clock that now read three, twenty-four. ‘Always a good time.’ He smiled, kissing her once more before getting up out of bed.

Jack pulled his underwear back on and found his legs were shakier than he anticipated. At least it made Ova laugh. He went downstairs to grab some water and thought about getting some sleep. The only problem was it meant less time with Ova.

He went back upstairs to find her eyes were already closed, she’d feel better for drinking some water before she slept properly.

‘Ova.’ Jack whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing her hair away from her face. Her grey eyes began to open slightly. ‘You should have some water.’ He helped her drink from the glass and put it on the table when she was done.

Ova lay back against the pillows and Jack leaned on his hand watching her sleepy face settle into a smile looking back up at him.

‘Tell me about the Atlas.’ He said, his voice was deep and relaxed.

‘What do you want to know?’ She turned onto her side, pulling the quilt up a little to keep herself warm.

Jack shrugged. ‘Anything.’

Ova just smiled and began going over the details of her ship. It sounded incredible. The size of a small country, with the mother ships being the size of a city. Ova commanded each one and led them into battles countless times. From what she was saying, Ova had fought for nearly two hundred years at the helm of the Atlas, the other four clones were Fleet Commanders in their own rights with their own unique set of skills.

Each ship had it’s own capabilities. She didn’t give him the names of the other clones or the ships, but guaranteed he would know an Olympian ship if he saw one, no telescope necessary.

‘They sound impressive.’ Jack ran his fingers through her soft, dark hair. He managed to lay next to her, Ova’s head resting on his chest and it was a bliss he wanted to know forever. ‘Wouldn’t mind one of those ships, you know, just in case there’s an extra one laying around out there.’

Ova chuckled. ‘It’s not so easy to pilot, nor is handling any Ancient technology.’ She told him. ‘It’s specific to our DNA.’

‘Good way to make sure it doesn’t fall into enemy hands, I guess.’ Jack was in equal parts annoyed and in awe of her people.

‘Exactly.’

Jack could see the sun was starting to coming up and he felt bad that he’d kept her talking all night.

‘You should get some sleep,’ Jack kissed her forehead. ‘I’ll wake you in a few hours.’

Ova sucked in a deep breath and managed to close her eyes to get some sleep. Jack couldn’t bear to, he stayed awake, listening to her breathing until it was time for them to leave to head back to the SGC to say her goodbyes.

Jack felt his emotions starting to get the better of him, but he needed to stay strong for her. They’d had a week together and that was more than he ever counted on, more than he could ever had asked for.

Chapter link

#jack o'neill x reader #jack o'neill x ofc #jack o'neill fanfiction #jack o'neill

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simply-not-an-egg · 1 year

Text

So I need to talk about a dream I had this morning at 5:17am that made me wake up sobbing to the point where I couldn’t calm down for about an hour because holy fuck was it a rollercoaster of emotions.

For some context: J is my first best friend I had in primary school. I was friends with him from the ages of 6-12 and I also came close to dating him when we were 11 as we both had crushes on one another.

B is my current partner, my soulmate. A man I love with every fibre of my being and have done since the ripe young age of 14. We have been together twice in the last five years (right people, wrong time), our current relationship having begun in October ‘21.

Anyway, this fucking dream.

It was vivid. It felt so real. What happened was, for some unknown reason, J came back into my life, and idk what compelled me to do it, but I broke up with B to start dating J because I wanted to know, out of curiosity, what it would be like.

And it was fucking awful. He was a different person in the worst way possible. Not that he was bad, it was just, we didn’t click. Perhaps he did with me, but I didn’t with him, and weirdly much of that came down to the fact that J didn’t make weird sounds with me (i.e. saying “Woah!” 100 times over with each other like B and I do constantly after saying “I love you”), and also that he didn’t tease me (B teases me a lot, and I tease him. It is a backbone of our relationship and I wouldn’t have it any other way because it’s fun banter). Other such reasons included that he didn’t understand me so much, and that he didn’t listen and give me valuable advice like B does (seriously, if this man wasn’t the introvert he is, I would recommend he become a psychologist because holy fuck the wisdom he has).

Realising all of this, I deeply regretted what I had done. And the worst thing is? There was nothing I could do to fix it. Because I knew I had hurt B (understandably; he’s loved me since we were 13 and has already had his heart slightly broken by me before, much like he’s done the same to me. Not intentionally; as I said, right people, wrong time), and I knew he wouldn’t give me another chance and that I deserved what I got.

And really that was the most painful part of this dream. Losing the absolute love of my life — again, my soulmate — because of something stupid that I decided to do and not being able to fix it. And again, it felt so real and vivid that I honestly woke up at 5:17am sobbing and thinking that I would wake up without him.

Cut to me vigorously messaging him in an inconsolable mess of tears to tell him of what happened (and to apologise because the guilt felt so real?? Even though nothing happened???). Fortunately, he’d been awake finishing one of his games so he was awake to see my message and call me to tell me that all was okay (rather, I had him call me to tease me because if we’re teasing each other I know that we’re definitely all g. He politely told me to grow some balls and in response I laughed my ass off because I was happy that we were okay. I mean, he did also like, properly comfort me too but yk).

But yeah, literally the worst fucking dream I’ve ever had. It’s been 18 hours and I’m still getting emotional thinking about it. God I hate having such vivid dreams.

#dreams #vivid dreams #dreaming sucks ass sometimes #relationship #your honor i love him

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deanwithscissors · 1 year

Text

I posted 10,442 times in 2022

That's 2,980 more posts than 2021!

849 posts created (8%)

9,593 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@badrituals

@regardingjenmish

@castiellesbian

@green-blue-heller

@goldenboydean

I tagged 9,303 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#dean - 617 posts

#lol - 603 posts

#dean winchester - 595 posts

#jensen - 453 posts

#words - 429 posts

#season 3 - 381 posts

#jensen ackles - 376 posts

#the boys - 333 posts

#aj talks - 314 posts

#destiel - 297 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#joking about me passing👌🏻 but doesn’t help that i’m struggling sooooo hard rn and i’ve gotta listen to such horrible depressing songs

My Top Posts in 2022:

Come To Me - Part 2

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Word Count: 3656

Warnings: Swearing, anxiety, depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, mention of masturbation

Summary: Dean notices [Y/N]’s on edge, once again he’s there by her side to help her through the urges and aftermath, but it’s his urges that can’t be tamed this time

A/N: struggling again, so there’s another part. part 1 if you missed it. please read the warnings!

It was due to happen, the black abyss was always there, waiting in the shadows, waiting for her resolve to weaken; allowing the poison to seep through the tiny cracks and tear her apart from the inside. So, here she was, trapped in her head with her demons once again. The new, unused blade calling from its cave, promising to help soothe her mind and take the pain away, her knight in shining armour, her light in the dark.

She’d been fighting, struggling, barely surviving for days. Unable to leave the bunker due to extreme anxiety, unwilling to stay in the bunker because of claustrophobia, basically abandoned in purgatory. Every second, of every day, a strong invisible hand wrapped around her throat, tightening by the minute and disorienting her, a thick black smoke engulfing her petite frame, lurking in the shadows and creeping into bed with her. The pit in her stomach was growing, spreading, devouring her from the core.

She’d been through her distractions list, two times, coming up on a third round. The place was spotless, every inch, the laundry was done and even put away, the boys’ too. She’d already showered three times today, her hair falling out from how much she was washing it. She’d taken time to write, nothing profound, but a hobby she rarely took part in these days. She’d even pleasured herself multiple times to pass time, but still it ticked by so slowly, each minute dragging out for an hour.

The thoughts had reached ugly levels, to the point of avoiding the kitchen because of the number of tools available. God, when Sam started cutting a newspaper, she had to leave the room, her hands shaking with contempt, engulfed in urges to snatch them from him and turn the blade on herself. No matter where she turned there was instruments that could be used to inflict pain, even when she closed her eyes, she dreamed of the metals gleam in the light, shining like the sword pulled from the stone.

Curled up in her bed, anguish flooding her veins, melting her mind and taking apart her soul, she could do nothing but lay there and endure the torture as the bed rocked as if on a stormy sea, forty foot waves slashing and rupturing the boat beneath her. The demon deep down forced her to view images of herself, flesh from bone, in a bloodbath on the stone cold floor, tears staining her wilting skin, abandoned by dead eyes.

Dread lay in her stomach, crawled up her esophagus and laced her mouth, keeping her awake all night so she could mentally explore the nine circles of hell, although with her sinful act, according to Dante, at least she wouldn’t be going to the ninth ring to be frozen forever, no she’d be stopped at the seventh, where those who commit suicide go, because by the time the sun popped up the next morning, she was sure her soul wouldn’t remain in the bunker, or on this earth.

Such a dark and nasty thought, but it somewhat comforted her, at the end of the day there really was always a way out, an ultimate that would remove her existence and dismantle her pain. She wouldn’t have to wake up the next day wishing she hadn’t, barely functioning as a human to make it through to bed time, to find no solace in sleep and for it to be morning with the blink of an eye. Christ, she wondered if she truly was already in hell, damned to suffer and be ripped apart bit by bit through vicious self-hatred.

The only thing that stopped her from committing the act was Dean. She couldn’t bare the thought of him finding her lifeless body, falling to his knees, cradling her cold corpse and praying to a God he doesn’t believe in to bring her back as tears streamed down his face. Another loss to add to the list, another body to add to the pile.

In another realm entirely, her soul deserted her body for just a second as a hand curled over her shoulder. His lowered voice pierced the black sludge, thinning the fog and transcending into a bright white light as his touch brought her back to reality, binding her being to her body once more as her eyes flickered open to see his soft beautiful face.

“Dean?” her voice was a wisp.

“Hey, I did knock I swear, even tried talking to you, but you were— I dunno — somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night, I’m a little out of it.”

“Do’ya want me to get something for ya?”

“No, it’s okay, just a rough night.” She was glad he was speaking slow and smooth, her brain unable to comprehend anything other than simple in this moment.

“Seems like it’s been quite a few rough nights,” he said, as politely as he could, his fingertips lightly denting her flesh.

“I guess,” she mumbled, her eyes averting his intense glare, instead focusing on the open plaid shirt covering his frame, faintly counting the squares, wishing she was counting the freckles on his bare skin instead.

“We’re headed out for a supply run soon, you comin’?”

“No, I— if you could just pick up a couple of things for me, please.”

“Sure, just gimmie a list.”

“Thanks Dean, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, I know,” he beamed.

“Since you’re the best, can you take my glass to the kitchen please?” she asked softly, waiting for a smart-ass remark about her not having legs, or, what did her last slave die of, but he only smiled.

“Sure. You givin’ up on the coffee?”

“What?”

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77 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

Snow Day

Title: Home Sweet Home Timestamp

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 6021 (oops)

Warnings: Fluff, feeling down, swearing, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, fingering, the softest sweetest sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, sub!jensen, dom!jensen (yes both idk okay lol)

Summary: A kid free morning causes Jensen and [Y/N] to try something new

A/N: lol when i finished the word count was 5844 and i thought while editing i’d cut it down... no it ended at 6021, i’m sorry lol. worst part is i wanted to keep writing more :’) *feedback is welcomed*

Soft flakes floated from the sky covering everything in sight in a blanket of white ice, but instantly melting when landing on the glass window of the toasty family home in Texas. The heavens had opened up over the past week and drowned the south in snow. Jade, Finlay and Aurora had been having a blast, they’d even had a few days off preschool and school because of the weather.

It had disrupted Jensens work schedule too, he’d had to cancel and rearrange a few meetings involving The Boys. At first he was insanely disappointed, but his sorrow transformed into delight when Jade said, “we have more time with daddy?”

And he’d spent every waking moment with his kids. He’d been a sturdy strong horse, until his back gave out, a moment of realisation for Jensen of his actual age. He’d been an evil villain trying to take over the Ackles kingdom, demote the two princesses and prince to his slaves, he’d been a shark who only had bloodlust for kids and he’d been a big teddy bear for them to snuggle.

It was back to regular routine this morning, well for the kids at least, they had school, however they were staying at their grandparents, the twins with Jensens parents and Jade with [Y/N]s mom, for the night meaning today the couple had a snow day of their own.

Jensens arm searched for [Y/N] in the puffy bedding, but he was disappointed to find himself alone on this peaceful and kid free morning. A slight pang of worry zapped through him, typically when she left him in bed it was because her anxiety was high and she needed to keep busy. Leaping from bed and firing on a pair of black boxers with a white t-shirt he went in search for his wife.

Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi played through the echo dot sitting on the counter. [Y/N] pottered around the pristine kitchen wearing mustard coloured socks tucked into her Scooby-Doo pyjama bottoms and one of his t-shirts which was completely oversized on her petite frame. Her feet were comforted by her favourite pair of slippers which she insisted on calling ‘booties.’ Her red hair bobbed on the very top of her head in a messy bun, a few streaks she hadn’t been able to capture dropped down her back. The too short-to-tuck-behind-the-ears strands constantly tangled with her eyelashes, she swatted them away typically, but sometimes when they really stressed her out she’d use bobby pins to clip them back, like this morning.

The wall of windows displayed a complete white landscape, the only colour besides white outside was the dark wood of their balcony and the bright blue sky. Her skin so pale she blended in, but her hair was the colour of the fires in hell. A few vanilla scented candles dispersed around the room radiated a delicate heat and a tranquil aroma, warming the house further on this bitter November day.

“A morning without kids and you leave me in bed alone, rude,” he teased as he approached her with open arms. She crumbled into his chest like shattered glass. “You okay?”

“Yeah just agitated,” she sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I was joking. Just missed waking up to you beside me,” his muscled arms cradled her like a fragile new born baby. “Anything particularly wrong? Something I can do to help?”

“No, nothing’s wrong, just anxiety.” Her embrace tightened as if he’d turn to dust in her arms. “I’m sorry to ruin a rare day alone.”

Jensen pushed her at arms length, shrinking a small amount he demanded her full attention with his eyes.

“You’re not ruining anything. If you want to lie in bed all day and do nothing, that’s what we’ll do. I don’t care just as long as we’re together.”

With anxiety crushing her chest his words hit like an out of control freight train. Lifting to her tip toes with tears in her eyes she captured his bottom lip between hers, soft lips kissed hard in desperate need.

Barely breaking contact she whispered, “I love you.”

She didn’t give him time to respond. Her lips smashed against his again, but the kiss wasn’t rushed or lust fuelled, it was velvety and deliberate. Neither one of their tongues broke the barrier of their own mouths, this wasn’t a make out session, this was comfort and security.

“I love you too,” he told her when he finally broke their connection. “So, nine full hours alone, what shall we get up to?”

“You know what I wanna do,” [Y/N] beamed.

“Day without kids, I can guess,” he smirked.

“Well that’s a given,” she mimicked his smirk. “Lets do something we rarely get to do!”

“Sleep for more than five hours at a time? Walk around naked?” [Y/N] flashed her ‘you idiot’ glare towards her tall, handsome, man-child husband.

“Curl up on the sofa with blankets, snacks and a movie.”

“That sounds like a good way to spend the day,” he kissed her forehead. “We’re not arguing for an hour over which movie to watch though,” Jensen said.

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98 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

bahahha

110 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

A Pretty Boy And His Weapon - Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader (ofc)

Word Count: 4190

Warnings: Swearing, thigh riding, fingering, hand job, messing around while driving

Summary: The first time [Y/N] bumped into Dean she ran away when he pulled out his weapon, but this time he gives her a lesson on how to handle it

A/N: this is just smut, because dean y’know :) part 1

The day had been long, the weather dismal and now her personal space had been invaded by douchebags that poured into the bar like a burst waste pipe. Slimy truckers with their massive guts hanging out, yellow teeth and stained pits trudged through the venue as if they owned it. Without a hint of shame, they ogled each and every woman in sight, a few even reaching out for nasty unwanted touches.

Knocking back the Jack on rocks she’d been swirling in her hand for a while, she nodded to the barman for another pronto. Every muscle in her body was ravished with aches and scrapes, her brain blasted to the consistency of watery-soup and her heart heavy like the weight of the world was dragging her down. Preferably she’d be hidden in the corner of the greasy bar, unseen, lying in wait behind the shadows, but the effort of requesting drinks was too much, so she sat front and centre at the bar like an exposed new born turtle on the beach where the task of getting drunk was easier, but the risk of being harassed was higher.

“You alright sugar?” the barman asked as he set down a fresh glass containing a double Jack Daniels with cubes of ice bashing into one another.

“Yup, good thanks,” she replied politely, but sharply. The barman took the hint and shuffled over to the next patron. The juke box played seventies and eighties rock hits, one after another, although dampened by the rumble of the boozed-up punters, she heard enough to bob her head and tap her foot in time with the music.

Half an hour later and another four drinks down, either the alcohol flowing through her veins was loosening her up, or, her unease of not getting laid that night propelled the thought that she could get laid, she just needed to be drunk enough to not be fussy with whom she lay beside. Nasty, but she’d done worse. Eagerly she raised her hand high in the air to hail the barman over once more.

Attentive as always, the guy sauntered over. “Another jack on the rocks?” he asked.

“Yeah, but make it two,” she instructed.

“Knew I was comin’ huh?” a husky southern accent muttered over her shoulder.

Her bones turned to ice as the gruff voice prickled every inch of her skin, forcing the fine hairs on her neck to rise and her heart to flutter in her chest. The palpitations headed south as the man stood there in silence waiting for her reply. She didn’t need to look to know the delicious smelling guy by her side was Dean, the one night stand she had run out on over a week ago. ‘I was hoping to never see you again’ she thought, but remained tight-lipped. Swallowing her nerves fiercely and refusing to face him, she forced out a mumble, “you again-” she sighed as if annoyed but really her insides fizzed at the distorted reflection of the pretty boy in the dirty bar mirror.

“You never let me finish before you stormed out—“ he tilted his head and cocked a brow as he sat on the stool next to her. She rolled her eyes reluctantly telling him to go on. “Y’know for being so little you really are—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” she warned with a stern tone and pointed finger, a blood-red fingernail threatening the potential choice of words to fall from his mouth next.

“Right—yeah—” a frown flashed across his face before composing himself expertly, “—so what I was gonna say is, we don’t need to have sex to have a good time, do we?”

Her eyes darted everywhere but catching his gaze, her brows furrowed as her thoughts raced. Flushes of heat crashed against her skin, her cheeks burning and sprinkling red erasing the freckles that painted her face.

“You don’t think I can get you there?” he asked after a minute of silence, not a shudder or quake to be heard in his confidence.

“No, it’s not that—” she nibbled at her lip, still thinking.

After a deep inhale she decided to be honest, why? She had no idea. He had the type of face and presence that eased her shaking nerves, serenaded her anxieties and piqued her interest enough to push aside her fears. With a slap of sarcasm in the form a snort in an attempt to cover up her embarrassment she said, “you’re wider than my wrist, and the length of my forearm, I haven’t ever— I don’t know what the hell to do with it.”

Dean choked back a laugh, but couldn’t contain the smug smirk plastering his face. “Well sweetheart, how about you come for a ride and I’ll show ya?” he spoke confidently and even ended the saucy offer with a smooth wink. One that was clearly, well and truly practiced.

She inhaled her own saliva, somehow forgot how to swallow, or breathe, and remained in a state of panic for a few seconds.

“You still here?” Dean joked as he clicked his fingers in front her face.

“You see me, don’t you?” she snapped back, smacking his hand out of the way. “Pretty hard not to with those eyes and that hair,” he told her, unfazed by the aggressive nature of her actions mere seconds before.

“And you said I was relentless,” she scoffed.

“Hey, least I’m not one of these sleezeballs,” he defended, a scowl captured his face as he glanced over his shoulder.

“True, you’re a wolf in sheep's clothing instead.”

“Nah, I’m just a regular guy in flannel,” he confessed, palms open, in the air as if he was under arrest. “We both know I’m the best you’re gonna get from this dive.”

See the full post

149 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Come To Me

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Word Count: 2776

Warnings: Thoughts, urges and attempted self harm, fluff, unsaid feelings

Summary: [Y/N]s urges are too much to handle, but Dean’s always there for her

A/N: wrote this for myself, struggling with shit and had to get it out. all mistakes are mine

The walls of the tunnel thinned as she stumbled through the narrow halls, the floor like ice beneath her feet, her skin burning hot as hell. Clutching her chest to confine the beast inside, she struggled, desperate to keep it under control until she was alone. Staggering over the threshold of her bedroom, she slammed the door shut and slid down the cool wood, opening her mouth to unveil her suffering, but nothing came out, not even a croak.

The pain was unlike any she’d suffered before, there wasn’t an open wound, or blood sacrifice, but the agony was torturous. Twisting and contorting her insides, squeezing her lungs, kerb-stomping her heart and blending her brain.

Blood rushed through her veins like fizzy pop, layers of fat bubbling under her skin, her brain pushing against her skull. The prominent vein on her left temple was threatening to blow and her stomach contents to splat across the floor.

“Nonononononono,” she muttered, a silent prayer to no one to make the ache stop. Each intrusive thought entered through an invisible injury, her body like Swiss cheese. “I can’t do this,” she admitted to her bed and the four walls encasing her. The urges were extreme, her rage and desire for a sweet release beyond convincing and charming in this moment, and it would ease her pain, if only for a short while.

“I can’t— oh fuck,” she hissed. Something else, there’s got to be something else, but nothing she could think of would make this stop; not hanging out with friends, not drinking, not going outside in the rain to scream at the top of her lungs, not even anger-fuelled rough sex could take the edge off as well as a smooth sharpened blade, and she knew it.

It had been months since she’d stalked over to the desk, dipped down low and opened the bottom drawer. Months of fighting these urges, day-in and day-out. The knife inside beckoning her like the piper to his rats, every second of her waking life, sometimes in her dreams too, although I guess they’d be classed as nightmares.

It had been months of stealing glances, suppressing feelings, pretending her heart didn’t stop whenever he came real close and sleeping around with god knows who to keep from slipping into bed with a blade again. But it was his words that cut her deep this time, only pushing her further into the black pit of despair and into the arms of her old saviour.

It was nothing as well, a fleeting comment that no one else would bat an eyelash over, but it stung her hard and deep, straight to the core. Igniting the vile demon inside who loathes her more than anyone and wants nothing else but to shatter her existence.

There was no chance with him and she knew it, every day she was painfully reminded of that fact, but every day she fell over and over again for him. It was hard not to, he’s the smartest, bravest man she’d ever known, troubled for sure, but a delicate soul that was hellbent on redeeming himself and saving everyone he met, whether they needed it, or wanted it.

His deep tan only enhanced his enchanting green eyes and multiplied his freckles like stars in the sky. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, showing his canine’s and the soothing motion of his tongue hovering behind his teeth always made her thighs clench. His lips were plush pillows, his nose chiselled and slightly crooked, but still perfect. His ears that reminded her of Dumbo, in a sweet way and his short trimmed hair she desperately desired to put her hands through. His broad shoulders that she’d sat on plenty of times, his toned arms, big hands with thick fingers. His smooth chest, muscled, but slightly podgy tummy, his tight waist and jutting hips. His thick thighs and tight ass. His deep and raspy voice, more hoarse first thing in the morning, everything, she loved absolutely everything about this man.

And it was killing her, to be so close yet so far away. She knew life would be easier if she just left, but she could never find the courage to do it. So, she woke up and struggled through every day to be by his side. To catch the scent of his cologne, hear his belly rumble as he laughed wholeheartedly while taking the piss out of Sam, to see the glee on his face when he’d take Baby out. To sometimes press an ear against his door in the middle of the night and listen as he choked his own dick and fucked his own hand, she’d stay til the end then shuffle back to her room, closing the door sheepishly. Two strokes and she came while standing and clutching the door handle.

“StopstopSTOP,” she wailed, her knuckles crashing to the floor as she begged for the images and memories of Dean to cease bombarding her. A single tear finally broke the barrier, sliding down her skin as she hunched in front of the alter, her resolve and strength disintegrating.

His words from earlier chimed through her head as if a choir stood in the hallway, the boom of their voices about to burst down the door. The raised white bumps on her arm lay like dead fish floating to the surface of the sea, a stark reminder of all the times before tonight when she’d given in to the call of the blade.

“I don’t care— I don’t fuckin’ care anymore. I’m done,” she cursed. Hatred spewing from her soul as she retched open the drawer and fisted her hand into the dark abyss. Her fingers curled around the plastic and snatched it, unable to say no any longer. She was broken, ripped apart and riddled with scars anyway, one more little cut wouldn’t make a difference.

Instead of having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, she had two devils; one telling her to cut a little, it’s fine she needs it, the other telling her to carve into her flesh and tear herself open.

The small silver blade sat perfectly between her fingers and thumb, as if it hadn’t been at least a few days since she’d last cradled the metal. The familiarity of the cold blade already soothing her scattered mind. This was it, the only way she knew how to get the emotional pain out, a tried and proven method. The thought of the release chipped away at her wall of solidarity, her defiance against the act imploded and wiped from the earth. The acute corner of the blade dented her flesh without breaking the skin. She applied more pressure, revelling in foreplay before the big event.

Finite about going through with this, she was oblivious to Dean filling her doorway.

“What’re you doin’?” he asked, his voice low and slow.

She peered into the mirror in front of her. Dean’s shoulders were slumped, his hand clutching the door knob, knuckles white, brows pinching and coming together, his eyes were hooded, glazed over, his lips plump and slightly parted, tongue hiding behind his teeth for comfort as he stared at her in shock. She glanced at her hands, her wrist, the blade, then back to his hazy reflection.

“[Y/N], don’t do that,” he mewled, crashing to her side on the floor, his knees surely to suffer the next day.

One of his strong hands wrapped around her wrist that was on the chopping block, the other snatching the blade from her fingers. Without looking, Dean threw the knife across the room, the metal clanking as it smacked a few things before settling, he took note of the location to swipe it before he left and through the damn thing away.

“Why— what’s wrong?” he asked, desperation lacing his tone, his hand cradling hers.

“Nothing, I was—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped, then in the voice of an angel he whispered, “please.” His words a prayer, and one she had to answer.

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172 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

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outofcontexturi · 2 years

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Thurs 22nd September 2022 06:47am

I’ve had a headache for the past 7 hours. I didn’t eat before I went to sleep cause I thought it’s just keep me awake all night cause I was real high. I’ve been called in early today so I tried to get the next best possible sleep I could cause that optimal shit wasn’t available to me. This whole rehearsal process so far has put me in an existential crisis. I just see life differently now. It’s a bit much to explain rn cause this headache is KILLING me but I’ll look back over this and try again when I can think with less pain going on. I don’t even remember what time I went to sleep. It’s was probably around 11. I woke up at like 5:50. I remember seeing 5:55am . That remedy song is playing in my head right now. At least the chorus is anyways. Maybe journalling really is the way to close headaches or what ever it is I have going on. I say this a lot when I’m journalling because it surprises me that my head stops hurting whenever I’m writing. It’s like an immediate documentation of thoughts and feelings. Like these are my thoughts and feelings in real time but like when I read this it won’t be in real time but still. Sid called me at 2 in the morning. quite a weird time to FaceTime someone but fair enough I guess. I didn’t answer but I’ll get back to her later today. I need to think about saving money more. I also need that student finance to drop. I’m thinking about what to eat right now that isn’t to heavy on the stomach. I need to take a paracetamol to stop this headache man, it’s now 7:00am. Can’t believe this is 13 mins worth of writing not like it means anything but like time just keeps going no matter what. And that links in with my play and this whole rehearsal process. Like I’ve been thinking about how I use my time and not in a way of if I’m using it effectively but just like what do I do now? I feel like I’m looking for answers to lifes provocation but am I searching in vain? I’m gonna go and find something to eat. Honey blocked me on Twitter😂😂 I get why she did it in a way but still it was a harsh thing to wake up to. I’m not mad at her but I am abit confused but I do have a slight understanding as to why she’s done it so I’m not gonna completely hold it against her. Idk if life wants me to let go or hold on to people in my life. How is it the 22nd already?! people stay trying to hurt me or break me down man I don’t get it. do you guys confuse my calm exterior for weakness? like I’m not weak infact I’m quite the opposite. I’m forgiving but I’m not forgetting. I can thank mum for that one. But still, people keep tryna play me and treat me as if I’m weak. I’m not allowing it. I won’t be spoken to or treated like a dickhead. I don’t care what this looks or sounds like cause i know how I feel and I know I’m not angry but these are in other words affirmations I’m putting into the world so that when I read back I know it’s possible to come true cause I’ve said it out loud instead of keeping things in. It’s like ye CANT TELL ME NOTHING. He said that song was a prayer in some ways and I feel like that song is an affirmation. Atleast the chorus is. 7:17am and I’ll be signing off soon. I’m going to have a good day. God bless.

#me #journal

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viverridae · 3 years

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some days i pick up my tablet n start on my warm-up gestures and none of them turn out right and i’m tempted to just move on to what i actually want to draw. those are the days when i know i need the warm ups the most smdnsmd

#brain isn’t always the smartest w the whole impatience thing #thrumming #anyway art is weird today but #i’ve been awake for 11 hours already and done Nothing so #gonna push thru and get something done #wish i had more than one (1) day off work a week but whatever SMDMSMDMS nothin to do abt it

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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years

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Quiet Music: Capriccio (Chapter 4)

In collaboration with @bethanysnow whose ask box is always open for questions, comments, and anything else about this story as well!

Catching the small flames of romance, starting to get turned on higher. They have a tour to do, right? Not spend all their time making goo-goo eyes at each other.....unless?

Content | Fluff

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 8274

Taglist | @damianodavide @lizstans @unitermoonshine @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you@vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @juststalking @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @nientedaridere @rainbowmarta @tiaamberxx @shaunthesheesh @enjcltaire @rocketqueen @aleksanderwh0r3 @dacey0eg @damianodavidhands @megann-duff @teatrodellavita @solasullabarca @fanfictionandfluff @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @kanevill @butterfly-skinnylegend @lidiyabest @ccweasley @bluscryn @deluxeplanteater @ohtorchio @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic @fedorable-killjoys

***

"Thomas," Y/n stared down as he entered the bus. "When I gave you my personal number it was meant for emergencies, not you texting me because you forgot what "sempiternal" means in the middle of the night. What were you reading anyway?!"

"Nothing." Thomas looked up at her from where he was sitting, wide eyes, feigning innocence.

Y/n shook her head, not believing the guitarist and his horrible poker face, but not being bothered enough to question him any further either. “Well, next time you have a question like that in the middle of the night, ask google instead.” She gave him a warm smile and a little pat on the head as she passed him by, moving down the hallway of the tour bus.

It had become a routine for her to stop at the stove first, starting the coffee for everyone, then having a look around as she was waiting for it to boil. Damiano was slumped over on a couch, his head in his hand and still half asleep. She wondered how little rest he had gotten last night, after meeting him out on the balcony at 2 am.

Had he stayed awake for hours, like she had? Had he been thinking about her, the way she had been thinking about him? He had flirted quite heavily last night and she wasn’t sure whether to attribute it to his sleepiness, or if he had meant it at all. She wasn’t quite sure what she was hoping for either. He was insanely attractive, and the attention he gave her made her heart beat in ways no other man had managed to do before. But this wasn’t the time or situation to turn into a bundle of nerves because of a boy.

Even if her brain had decided to play fantasies of him storming into her hotel room last night. Demanding to kiss her. Holding her face in his hands. Looking at her with those dark, hazel eyes, like she was the only person in the world. Probably smelling of sleep and cigarettes and all that made him inherently Damiano. She knew the smell well, it had been haunting her all throughout this whole fucking tour. But the fantasies kept coming, imagining him in love with her, even if she never truly believed in it. It was a nice idea, nothing more.

The sharp hiss of the coffee pot pulled her out of his thoughts and woke up Damiano from his half-slumber. Tired eyes trying to make out the source of the noise, smiling slightly when realising that caffeine was coming his way. Y/n quickly moved to get his cup ready, preparing it the way she had already learned he preferred. He readily held out his hand for the beverage, fingers briefly touching. She almost dropped it as sparks ran through her. She wasn’t sure if he had felt the same or simply hid it better. But as soon as the cup was safely in his hands, she turned back around. Back to the stove to take a deep breath and continue her morning routine.

I need to get over myself. This is a job. Getting fluttery over your boss is not gonna help get the job done. Ignore him. He didn’t feel anything. You need to work. Not imagine something that is never gonna happen. It's not gonna happen, Y/n.

She made quick work depositing the other mugs to Victoria and Thomas, before finding Ethan in the very back of the bus. Drum sticks in hands and absentmindedly tapping a beat on the table in front of him.

“Coffee?”

“Yeah, thank you,” he answered, absentmindedly. “Hey, Y/n, does this sound good to you?”

Ethan started to play out a beat, effectively ignoring the cup that had been placed on the table, as she sat down beside him to listen.

“I’m no musician, but it certainly sounds good to my ears!”

Ethan gave her a proud smile, putting his drumsticks to the side for a second to take a sip from his drink. Y/n, grabbed them immediately, beating randomly on the table.

“You know what? I may have to take you up on your offer of teaching me to play. Love how you guys always have stuff around, you’re just constantly thinking about music. I wish I knew how to play," she sighed.

“I can show you a bit of drumming right now, if you’d like?” He offered. “Just a bit of a rhythm on the table right here.”

He moved closer to her, taking her hands in his as she kept holding onto the sticks and tried to get her to play a little, easy beat, but the angle was awkward and her wrist was bent too much to properly tap along.

“Okay, this isn’t working,” he laughed. “Would you mind, um, moving between my legs?”

Y/n could feel another blush coming on. It may be just Ethan, but it IS Ethan and Ethan sure is pretty. She studied his face, unassuming, nothing but a welcoming smile. But she felt odd. She had only been working for this band for a few days, yet she’d already grown closer to them than any other client she had worked with before. Normally she’d do her job, get a quick thank you on the way out, and then just retire somewhere. Do uni work, wait for further instructions. This whole thing was new and as much as she was enjoying it, she wasn’t sure if she was crossing lines she shouldn’t as a personal assistant. Then again, what was the harm in a little lesson? It wasn’t like there was anything else to it. This wasn’t him trying to flirt with her, this was him trying to be a friend. She could do with a friend.

With a quick nod, she moved and sat down on the floor in front of Ethan. Nestling between his legs as he held her hand. Helping her get into position before backing up a little to give her more space. Grabbing her hands again with the sticks to demonstrate how she was supposed to hold and then hit the table. He leaned over her to watch what she was doing. She understood quickly, getting the hang of it and before she knew it Ethan had let go of her hands as she was successfully keeping the rhythm going.

“See? Natural talent,” he laughed behind her.

Neither of them had noticed Damiano walk down the corridor towards them until he stopped in the doorway.

“Ah, Dami! Look what Ethan taught me!” Y/n starts repeating the little rhythm with the biggest smile on her face, proud of herself and what she’d learned in such a short time. Ethan leant back, watching her with a smile.

“Good job, Y/n. Keep going and you might replace Edgar soon,” Damiano said, ducking into the bathroom with a laugh.

Y/n watched him disappear. Her heart fluttered as he left her sight. If he could just not be my boss, that’d be fucking great…

She stood back up to sit next to Ethan on the couch, shaking the thought off. “I see why you like drumming, it’s fun.”

“Thank you, I think so too. You enjoy being our assistant, by the way?” Ethan asked, looking at her inquisitively while finally continuing to drink his coffee.

“Actually, yes. Best job I have ever taken. I know your manager is an absolutely wonderful woman. Didn’t know she planned this position for me originally though, kinda scared me to be honest.”

“Are we scary?”

“No, no. You’re all lovely. You are the biggest group I’ve worked for so far, so there’s that. But…” Y/n moved to sit on her leg now, leaning closer to Ethan, starting to feel more comfortable around him. “You four are indescribably amazing people. My mum would probably call you ‘people after God’s heart’,” she imitated her mother’s Northern accent, making Ethan laugh.

“Shocking, I know, that we’re normal!”

Y/n smacked his chest.

“No! You are far better than anyone- no one on this bus is ‘normal’.”

“Even the driver?”

“Especially the driver.”

***

Damiano hadn’t meant to listen in, but standing behind the slightly closed door of the restroom, he couldn’t help himself, even if it was killing him. Ethan and Y/n would probably be really good for each other… The thought flashed through him. No. It wouldn’t happen. Not under his watch.

Last night had been a blessing and a curse. After finishing his smoke, he had stood out on the balcony for a little longer, imagining the conversations they would have been having if she had stayed out with him. Under the moonlight. Måneskin. Her hair down, she would probably go get another glass of wine. Coming back out to see him.

“What about you, amore mio? Working on more Shakespeare?”

“Yes. Always. I work hard for things I want, you know me. All work no play makes Y/n a happy girl,” she would snicker into her wine glass.

“What if I wanted you. What would I have to do? Never been shy about ... hard… work, either…”

“Why don’t you come and find out, the door is unlocked…”

With a heavy sigh, he moved to the sink to splash some water on his face, raking it through his hair. It was only early in the morning, he didn’t need to unscrew his head just yet. She was just a girl. Just some girl that worked for them. There were so many people on the team, she was simply one of them. But she was also a woman, with wants and needs and desires, and oh, how he would love to attend to every single one of them… Maybe I could be a need for her, for the beautiful woman just one room over. He screamed internally. He was done for.

***

By the time Y/n left Ethan to his coffee, Damiano was back on the couch with a pen and paper, gears visibly turning in his head. He didn’t even look up when she entered. See, just a guy, Y/n thought. Victoria was busy bickering with the driver about wanting to stop at a service station within the next hour. Thomas was scrolling through his phone absent-mindedly.

As soon as Vic had finished her conversation, she walked over to where Y/n was sitting, letting herself drop onto the seat next to her heavily, laying her head on her shoulder. “Y/n I want snacks.”

“I bought snacks, they’re in the cupboard.”

“But, fun snacks! Like you,” the bassist winked.

“As much as I love the compliment, Victoria, I am sure the driver will take us to the next petrol station after hearing your plea.” She kissed the top of the blonde’s head. “You can survive a little longer without sugary snacks.”

Victoria looked up at her with big blue eyes, wrapping her arms around the assistant. “But what if I can’t, Y/n,” she whined, pulling a dramatic pose. “What if I waste away without fun snacks.”

“Vic, love, nothing here will make you die because you haven’t had food. I provided all of you with breakfast - it was your decision to let Thomas eat yours.”

“And I don’t regret a thing!” Thomas shouted from his seat, all three of them breaking out into laughter. Y/n grinned, eyes falling back onto some of the papers in front of her, ready to get back into work. Victoria’s arm looped around Y/n’s as she snuggled into her shoulder with a pitiful sigh.

***

Goddamnit, not her, too.

Damiano had meant to start writing some more, lyrics and words and images flowing through his head in a chaos that needed to be tamed by pen and paper. But as soon as he had sat down Victoria had started moaning about snacks and her little interaction with Y/n had taken up all of the brain space the lyrics should have. His eyes kept focusing on the closeness between the two of them. The way Vic leant her head on Y/n’s shoulder, the way she in turn kissed the bassist’s head. So far he had only considered Ethan to be a concern. But now the thought of Victoria herself meddling was increasingly growing. So she might have had a boyfriend but that had been, what? Years ago? She had said? And the guy had been a dick. What if she’d just given up on men completely, deciding to exclusively date girls from now on? Fuck.

Staring at the way Victoria was now cuddling her, his thoughts ran wild. Was this still friendly? Was the smile she was giving Vic flirty? Maybe she hadn’t been returning his flirtations the way he’d been hoping because it was Vic she was interested in, not him?

Dwelling on these thoughts wasn’t going to help. Jealousy, envy, insecurity… as interesting as they would be as drag names, they weren’t going to solve the issue. Damiano felt stuck. Making heart eyes at a girl who was three feet away while she was none the wiser. Yet it was Victoria latching onto her arm. He wasn’t surprised. She was gorgeous, and funny, and cared about people. And Vic had a lot of good qualities he himself didn’t possess. Maybe it’s the boobs? His brain mused, but he shook it off. That wasn’t it, he was sure of it.

***

Victoria studies Damiano. His face would have been unreadable to anyone else, obviously lost in his thought. But she knew him well enough to understand that the look on his face was one of insecurity and upset. Not necessarily at anything in particular, just upset. Her eyes softened. Raising a brow at the singer. He simply shrugged, shaking his head, then taking the notebook he was carrying everywhere. Opening it up, staring at the words written there, but not adding anything. Yet his eyes never stopped flicking away to everyone else around him, obviously restless. What was up with him? If there was one thing Victoria hated it was one of her friends feeling off and her not being able to do anything about it. But she knew Damiano, and she knew it could be hard to get him to budge if he didn’t want to talk.

As their eyes met once more, she took the chance to mouth at him, “You alright?”

His eyes flashed at Y/n for a split second, he probably hadn’t even noticed it himself, before nodding with a tight-lipped smile, then looking back down at his pages. That was when it finally clicked in Victoria’s mind. It was about her. And from the looks he kept secretly giving her, the problem wasn’t dislike.

***

“SNACKS!” Victoria and Thomas all but yelled as the bus pulled into the parking lot of a little petrol station. The band ran out of the bus, stumbling over each other like a hoard of kindergartners, and Y/n couldn’t help but smirk at their behaviour. Following them in a much more composed manner.

By the time she entered the shop, all four members of the band had dispersed into different corners. Trying to figure out what to buy. Damiano was holding up two chocolate bars, obviously trying to decipher what the difference was with no knowledge of Swedish whatsoever, before shrugging his shoulders and taking both.

Y/n was still in the doorway, grabbing a basket and consulting a little list on her phone. As much as she loved to let them run wild, she would not completely have them overdose on sugar. No matter how much they wanted to. She still felt responsible for their wellbeing, even on their days off. Juice felt like a sensible choice.

Suddenly, she saw a hand appear from behind her, casually taking out some orange juice from her basket. She turned around in surprise, only to be faced with Thomas looking at her with wide eyes, obviously feeling caught.

“No healthy stuff from the petrol station!” He suddenly shouted, grabbing her whole basket now and running away with it.

“Thomas!” She flew after him before she knew what she was doing, almost running over Ethan as she chased the guitarist through the little store. With not much space available, they ended up going round and round one of the shelves, until Thomas unceremoniously crashed into a cooler when he didn’t manage to take a turn in time. Trying to bite back a smile, Y/n walked over, breathlessly asking him if he was alright, as laughter still bubbled out of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Victoria, giggling away, phone pointed towards them.

“Oh no, you’re not putting that on the internet!” Y/n pointed a finger at her in what she hoped was an authoritative gesture, but Victoria wasn’t impressed.

“Too late!” She squealed as she skipped away, out of reach, to pay for whatever she had picked out.

Thomas had gotten back up on his feet in the meantime, contents of the basket still spilled all around him, sporting a pout.

“Stop it with that face,” Y/n scolded, but she couldn’t keep the smile at bay. “Go pick out your favourite snack, you can add it to my basket.”

Thomas happily skipped away as Y/n quickly picked up the mess, then moved to another aisle finding Damiano there. He seemed to be debating over the crisps now, having moved on from the chocolate bars.

She stood to the side, her eyes flashing over him a couple more times than necessary. He was just too pretty. It was simply impossible to look away. Even now, no fancy clothes, no stage makeup, no grand performance, he was mesmerising.

Her brain couldn’t help itself, images and ideas flashing in front of her eyes. Going to a petrol station on road trips with their future kids. Them bouncing around, chasing each other over a candy bar. Her and Damiano trying to get them not to cause a mess, slightly annoyed, but always laughing along with them.

She looked at him again. In a blink, the daydream changed.

It’s past midnight. He’s in the same sweatshirt he’s wearing right now. Her arms wrapped around his torso. Looking up at that beautiful face of his. Him picking up condoms from the health section. Winking at her with that certain glint in his eyes. Smacking her arse on the way to the cashier. Filled with giggles and flirtatious glances and knowing what the night ahead would entail. The anticipation crackling around them.

Oh, to be that girl. The girl he looks at with lustful eyes. The one he wasn't to make a baby with. Not the one to be ashamed of.

***

Damiano had chosen what kind of crisps to buy long ago. He simply was too busy staring back at Y/n, who seemed to be lost in thought. Eyes focused on him, yet apparently not noticing him looking back. He could basically see the gears in her head turning, mouth slightly open, far away in her mind.

Whatever enraptured that beautiful mind of hers… He wanted to know - could he be that very thing someday? Be so involved in her thoughts that it caused her to finally slow down? Get her to relax. He kept daydreaming about the massage he had given her the other day. How she had melted into his touch. He wanted that again. But more. He wanted her sighs and her moans as he worked her body in any way she would let him. Hell, he’d be her personal roadie if she wanted.

Fuck, he was smitten. She was always so strong-willed, so passionate. That night on the balcony had done nothing to help his fantasies. Her teaching him how to dance? Bodies close to each other, breathing the same air… Whatever perfume she used, he wanted to drown in it.

***

Victoria had been on the way back out, snacks acquired, Instagram story uploaded, and ready to head back to the bus for the last two hours of the ride. However, she stopped dead in her tracks when Y/n and Damiano caught her eye. Both of them were staring at the other, yet neither seemed to realise it. Just lost in their own worlds. Vic frowned, not oblivious to the dreamy look on Y/n’s face or the way Damiano’s eyes kept flicking up and down their assistant’s body. Something was definitely going on here and she was determined to find out what exactly it was.

After Y/n had finally moved again, paying for the snacks, Victoria caught up with her outside the shop. Their driver was having a smoke, surely had more than enough time left for a little talk.

“Y/n, wait up,” Vic quickly jogged up to her, taking the shopping bag out of her hand and carrying it into the bus ahead of her.. “Let me help you.”

She was counting on the guys to be staying outside for a little longer, probably lighting up a cigarette each as soon as they were done snack-shopping.

“So…” She started, putting away the snacks alongside Y/n. “Saw you staring at Damiano in there.”

Great, this wasn’t subtle at all, she scowled at herself. Tact had never been her strong suit in these situations. She was far more likely to rush into a conversation, head first, too open, too honest, too soon.

“I- uh- I don’t know what you mean. I was probably just staring off into space.”

Okay, she was getting flustered. Victoria knew she was onto something here, but it wouldn’t be easy to get anything out of Y/n. She was way too professional and… uptight for that. And they didn’t exactly have any red wine on tap to get her to open up.

“You know, there’s no harm in it. He’s a very attractive man,” she said, playfully nudging Y/n’s side. “Pretty sure everyone’s had the hots for him at some point.”

“Well I haven’t, it's very unprofessional.” Y/n stubbornly replied and Victoria almost laughed out loud.

Sure, she hadn’t. That’s why she was staring at him like he was a drink of water in the middle of a desert. Or why she was getting all flustered every time he touched her. Or why she always seemed to gravitate towards him, whatever she was doing. But that wasn’t what Vic was going to say. It wouldn’t get them anywhere. She had learned that much about Y/n.

“All my friends used to have a crush on him in school,” Vic laughed, remembering their beginnings. “They’d just hang out whenever we were rehearsing, making heart eyes at him and complimenting his every move, but he never cared. He never even looked at them, just giving them a polite hello. Never paid them any attention because he was way too focused on the music we were making. He’s always been like that. Music has always come first. It’s why I think it’s so peculiar how interested he is in you.”

If Y/n had been flustered before, she was full-on blushing now, rapidly opening a random cabinet to hide her face, but Victoria had seen. Her eyes got wide, as if she had been struck by lightning.

“He’s not interested in me, don’t be silly. I work for him just as I work for you and we all get along. Nothing is going to happen if that is what you are worried about. I would never jeopardize the tour or our friendship. He doesn’t even see me like that, anyway, so it’s fine. It’s not like I’m his type, and like, I mean-”

“Hey,” Victoria turned more serious now. As much as she enjoyed teasing her new friend, she felt like she needed to let her know that she wasn’t kidding in this case. She put a tentative hand on her shoulder. Having the other turn around to have Y/n face her. “I’m serious though. I know it’s early days, but if you feel something for him? I’m not going to stop you. Neither is anyone else on this tour. He’s a great guy. And I’ll personally punch him if he isn’t. And I think you’re great Y/n. You deserve good things.”

For a second, Victoria could see a flicker of Y/n’s softer side, of her vulnerability. She felt compelled to pull her into a hug, but she feared making her uncomfortable, so instead, she simply pretended she hadn’t seen. Just like she pretended not to hear Y/n’s voice breaking just the tiniest bit when she said, “Thank you.”

***

The old town of Malmö was full of cobblestone, canals, and adorable old houses. When Y/n led them into the restaurant she had reserved for the evening, Damiano made sure to ask for a table by the window, enamoured by what looked to be the main square of the town and the people hurrying along. As he turned back towards the table, he noticed Y/n with a similar look on her face. Chin held up by her hand as she leaned on the table, watching the world pass by outside. A serene smile played on her face and he feared he was mirroring her expression when Victoria kicked his foot from under the table. Giving him a knowing smile and a raised brow. He shook his head, quickly grasping the menu to distract himself.

“Oooh happy hour!” Victoria squealed. “First round of cocktails is on me!”

Damiano almost let out a sigh - knowing fully well that when it came to an evening like this, they would not stop at a round or two. He was to be proven right.

About two hours later, the sun was on the verge of setting. There was a nice buzz going on, dinner eaten, while the drinks kept coming. Thomas was retelling a story Damiano had heard about a hundred times. Excitedly waving his hands around he only just managed to grasp one of the glasses before the guitarist knocked it over. Y/n was listening attentively - the only one out of the bunch to not have heard Thomas’ retelling before. Damiano couldn’t help but notice how her cheeks were slightly flushed, a sure sign that she’d had a drink. He thought she looked adorable. She’d look just as adorable under me. He quickly put the thought away, blaming it on the alcohol he had consumed. Apart from Y/n - who had been responsible enough to switch back and forth between cocktails and water - they were all on the edge of being drunk, laughing too loudly, talking too excitedly, being a little too affectionate.

It’s what he blamed his behaviour on, when he found his foot searching for hers under the table. Giving her just the slightest, playful kick to get her attention. She looked at him immediately, raised eyebrows, obviously wondering if he had touched her by mistake. So this time, he fully smirked, holding eye contact, as he nudged her again. A timid smile appeared on her face and he was convinced that she would be awkward. Pulling back, possibly scolding him any other time. But her slightly intoxicated state seemed to leave her more open to his teasing. He barely believed it when she nudged him back. Maybe we’re actually getting somewhere here.

“Um, excuse me?”

The whole table looked up at once at the timid voice. Only to find two young girls awkwardly and uncomfortable standing next to them, faces as red as tomatoes and eyes wide.

“Are you Måneskin?”

“We are, actually!” Victoria beamed, immediately getting up. “Do you guys want some pictures?”

The girls didn’t seem to manage anything but hectic nods, too excited and overwhelmed. Damiano smiled. It didn’t matter how big they were getting - having people coming up to them to ask for photos, so obviously in love with them. Still made his heart beat like crazy. He’d do anything for the fans.

Quickly, getting up from his chair as well, he pulled the other two along with him, taking a few photos with the two, exchanging some words and thanking them for their support. Looking back at Y/n, he noticed she was getting a bit nervous.

“Guys, we should probably move back to the hotel now,” she said and it was only then that he took a look around and saw the amount of people staring. Talking and pointing phones at them. It was obvious none of them were actual fans - just hoping to get a glimpse of something to put on their social media. Damiano nodded, rounding up the rest of his band and leading them out of the restaurant, ready to call for a taxi as Y/n went to settle the tab and then followed them outside mere seconds later.

“Right let’s get you back to the hotel,” Y/n decided as they finally managed to flag down a taxi. “But don’t worry, the night’s not over yet - bring your swimsuits, I’ve got a little surprise for you.”

***

Y/n was perched on a little tiled bench, laptop with work opened at her side. A bluetooth speaker ready nearby. She’d slipped the girl at the reception a little money and a signed picture of the band, which she had gratefully taken, to make sure they’d have the hotel pool to themselves that night. Y/n was aware that the band tended to really enjoy a nice dip in the water and she was determined she’d get them to let loose and relax a bit before more gigs were coming their way.

She didn’t notice that everyone had arrived until a flash of blond ran past her and jumped into a pool with a massive splash. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Thomas would announce his presence like this. She still flinched for a second. Ethan followed not much later, with Victoria opting for the stairs ‘for hair-related reasons’ and Damiano pushing her in anyways. Following swiftly himself, as she grabbed his hand as she was falling. Y/n shook her head, amused at the four, and turned on some music as she watched them.

She couldn’t help but smile at the way they all acted like little kids on a pool day. But behaviour was one thing - the way they looked was quite another. Water was running down their bodies… okay, one body in particular. She would be lying if she said that Damiano swimming around in nothing but his little shorts wasn’t… well, breathtaking. Tattoos on full display, hair wet, glistening skin. He was smiling, laughing, trying to outswim Thomas. The way his physique moved through the water… He was in formidable shape. What she would give to be manhandled by this man.

Him pinning her to a wall, smirking, looking down at her like he was going to eat her. He rightfully just might. Telling her all the dirty thoughts he had when on stage. Making her look away in a blush, but grabbing her face. Tsk-ing, ‘no, no, no, good girls look at who is speaking to them’.

But no. Work called her name, just loudly enough to pull her out of her fantasy.

***

Opening the laptop, she immediately seemed to get immersed in her work. Damiano watched her with a frown on his face. This was so like her - making sure everyone else got taken care of and was having a good time, only to withdraw and bury her in her work again. He wished she’d take more breaks to just enjoy.

Every now and then she looked away from the screen, watching what everyone else was doing and contently smiling to herself. He couldn’t help imagining her watching over him the same way with their kids. His head was running away with the idea.

Him splashing around with the children. Her watching over them, staying on the sidelines, smiling the way she was now. Making sure everyone was safe and happy. Snacks in hand. Their daughter climbing out of the water, running over to her. The way her eyes would light up, arms open wide, not caring about getting wet as she hugged her. He knew she’d be the most perfect mum, just from looking at her. Nothing had ever been as obvious to him.

A splash of water over his head pulled him out of his thoughts. Apparently, Ethan had caught him staring. He shrugged it off.

“Y/n! Come swim with us!” Victoria called, moving to the edge of the pool. The assistant did nothing but raise a brow at the request, shaking her head.

“You kids go have fun,” she laughed. “I’m fine here, doing a bit of work. Just because you got a day off, doesn’t mean I do too!”

“Ah, you’re no fun, Y/n. One night won’t kill you,” Thomas groaned, diving back under the water.

“Well, I didn’t even bring my swimsuit, so it’s out of the question anyway. Now let me do some work.” She tried to sound strict but the giggle bubbled in her voice anyway, still tiny traces of intoxication in her speech. Damiano grinned at the thought of her still being tipsy, slightly wondering if it’d give him the chance to get her to let her guard down the way she had done the night before.

“Oh, rubbish, you party pooper!” Vic shouted back. “Your underwear will do just fine, it’s not like anyone is here to tell you off.”

Y/n shot a look at Victoria. A blush that definitely wasn’t caused by alcohol crept onto her face.

“I’m alright, you have fun.”

Damiano’s head spun, looking at Y/n sitting on the bench. The sheer idea of her joining them like that? Potentially seeing her undress? He was more than glad the water was hiding the lower half of his body.

“Get over here now or we’re dragging you in!” Thomas threatened, already halfway through heaving himself out of the water.

Oh, no way I’m getting out of the water right now, not like this.

“Oh fine! Fine, fine. If it will make you all stop worrying about me ‘not having fun’,” she laughed.” She rolled her trousers up as she moved to the edge of the pool, kicked off her shoes, and let her legs dangle in the water as she sat down. “Happy?”

“For now,” Vic laughed. “But don’t think you’ll always get out of things this easily!”

“Oh come on guys, leave her be.” Ethan decided to be the voice of reason once again. He swam up to her, hair all piled on top of his head in a bun. “Sorry about them - they don’t know when to quit.”

Y/n giggled at his comment.

“It’s cool, nice seeing everyone have a good time though.” Y/n tilted her head for a moment, looking at Ethan. Slowly she raised a hand to hold his face still, the other hand pulling something out of his hair. “There you go. Can’t have fuzz in those luscious locks of yours!”

A scowl appeared on Damiano’s face. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like this, but the way she was looking at Ethan right now, that soft touch, made all the fantasies in his head shatter for a moment. Why wasn’t she fixing his hair instead. Fuck, he was being stupid. His attention was drawn away from the pair as a loud squeal escaped Victoria, who was currently being wrestled in the water by Thomas.

“Don’t you dare dunk me!”

Damiano didn’t even have to watch to know what happened next. A second later, a spluttering Vic emerged, a murderous look in her eye as she dunked Thomas in return. Their little fight turned chaotic, ending with the top of her bikini slowly floating away from her.

“Aw Vic, do you always have to be topless?!” Thomas laughed loudly.

“You dick! You untied it!”

Y/n instantly covered her eyes, avoiding Victoria’s half-naked body at all costs, looking down at her lap.

“Um - maybe someone should, uh, give her her top back?” She stammered.

Vic looked at the blushing girl, a smirk growing on her face as she whispered something at Thomas, pointing at Y/n, obviously hatching a plan. She swam up to their friend, gently grabbing her legs under the water.

“You are the only one that seems to mind, amore… Do you not like my tits?” Victoria teased, cocking her head to the side as she tried to catch Y/n’s eyes.

“No! No, I mean- That’s not what I mean. Um… I don’t know - is it just me or is it hot in here?” Y/n was a mess, tripping over her words.

“The only one that’s hot here is you, Y/n,” Thomas grinned, swimming off to retrieve Vic’s top, which he handed to her as he came back. The blonde held it up to her boobs in a fake-clumsy way, big eyes looking up at Y/n.

“Oh, I think I’m going to need your help with this, Y/n. Mind tying me up?”

Y/n looked like she was about to explode, her face once again covered in a deep red. With slightly shaking fingers, she moved forwards as Vic turned her back towards her, fumbling with the strings around her neck and her back to tie them up.

“Thanks, babe, you’re a doll!” Victoria grinned, taking the assistant’s hand and leaving a little kiss on her knuckles. It was the point at which Damiano decided he’d definitely need to protect her from his bandmates. If anything, it was his time to bother Y/n now.

As Damiano swam over, Y/n was still bright red. Her head was still lowered, picking at her nail polish, as she squeaked out a “hi”. You’ve got to put on the charm now, you can do it, he said in his head, hyping himself up as he looked back at her. He didn’t want to bring her into even more of an awkward situation, but his hands were on her legs before he even noticed, slightly stroking along the curve of her calves under the water.

“Don’t mind those fools,” he told her in a voice low enough that they wouldn’t hear. “They’re just trying to rile you up because they like seeing you blush. It is a nice sight, to be fair. Seeing you blush.”

“Well, it’s not like I have control over that. Um. Y-you look cool… I mean - good. You know? … fucking hell.” She buried her face in her hands, stifling a flustered chuckle. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I apologise, I will just hide now, forever.”

Yet, the smile on her face hadn’t left since Damiano had arrived. She bit her lip nervously, looking at the singer. Staring at him, maybe trying to figure out what his intentions were. He wished he knew. “Your, uh… eyes… they’re pretty.”

“Don’t even think about ever hiding that face from me, yeah?” He pulled her hands back down as she once again attempted to cover herself. He briefly forgot his hands were wet, until she giggled and patted her own dry on her shirt as he let go. “Your eyes are really pretty too, Y/n, so don’t deprive me of them.”

She blinked a couple of times, taken aback by what he had said. “Alright, I can do that.” She barely noticed they were holding hands. Rubbing her thumb over his skin softly, keeping herself grounded in place by the heat his body gave off under the water. “You just gotta step in when they start taking the piss again, yeah?”

He moved in closer now, only letting go of her hands to grasp onto her thighs, trying to keep himself above water. He was desperate to move between her legs, but he wasn’t going to ruin the moment by taking it too far. Not yet. “Of course. But amore mio, what if I wanted to, uh, ‘take the piss’?”

She smirked. “Oh! Then that’s fine.”

Damiano was sure his heart wasn’t even beating anymore, it was fluttering. There was something about her… every time he watched her, talked to her, he felt like he was looking at her for the first time. Finding a new side to her. He wanted more, constantly craving to get closer, and in moments like these. When she let him in just a little bit, made him feel like he was just one small step above the others, he felt like it was all going to be worth it. The slow way he was working himself into her heart.

“Y/N HAS A TATTOO ON HER ANKLE!” Thomas suddenly shouted, popping out of the water and pointing at the assistant. Damiano was pushed out of the way by Victoria, who grabbed Y/n’s leg. Hoisting it up in the air, turning it to show her ankle. A black outlined hand giving the middle finger with long black nails stared back at the band.

“That is really pretty,” Ethan said softly, but Victoria scoffed

“Pretty? It’s fucking cool! See,” she turned back to Y/n, “you are rock ‘n’ roll!”

Damiano stared at the little drawing on her leg, fascinated to have found yet another side to her he hadn’t seen coming. He wondered if she would let him tattoo her one day, letting him grab her leg, smoothing over the skin, putting that kind of trust in him. He was determined to find out, sooner or later.

“I mean... you think you’re the only ones with tattoos?” Y/n smirked, almost in a cocky way. It was a good look on her. “That one hurt like a bitch-”

“That one?” Damiano threw in. “Does that mean there’s more?”

Looking over at him, she simply smiled, shaking her head. “Anyway, it’s late, we should be going to bed soon. I know - I’m not trying to parent you, but somebody’s gotta be responsible here!” She stood up, fixing her trousers, putting her shoes back on, and grabbing towels to pass around. “Come on, out of the pool. Comply and I will get you something special with your coffee tomorrow!”

***

After everyone had retired to their rooms, Victoria decided she needed another talk. Moving along the hotel corridor, she stopped in front of Damiano’s door, softly knocking. He opened hastily, his face dropping ever so slightly as he saw her.

“Not who you were expecting?” She asked with a smirk as she pushed past him into the room. She was glad they’d all gotten their own rooms for the night and didn’t have to share - no need to involve Ethan or Thomas in the little conversation she was aiming to have with Damiano. Victoria dropped down onto the bed, kicking her shoes off and getting comfortable, as the singer followed.

“What can I do for you?” Damiano asked, shutting the door behind her.

“How about explaining why you were all over Y/n in the pool?” A grin spread on her face. She knew she’d have to be much less careful with Damiano than she had been in the conversation with Y/n, but still needed him to know this was good-natured teasing. “Pretty touchy, if you ask me.”

“Well, we were talking. Don’t need to tell you everything I do.” He flopped onto the bed, grabbing a pillow to smother his face into. “Why?”

“Yes you do, I’m one of your best friends!” She didn’t hesitate in grabbing the second pillow to whack him over the head, before putting it back behind herself to lean against. “Just interested to know what you think of her. You know, because I’m your friend and I care. And I’m nosey, so spill.”

He started groaning into the pillow.

“If I told you I think I like her, would you shut up about it?” He turned his head to the side to look at the blonde. “I don’t know, Vic, she walked into our lives and…” His eyes grew distant as he thought about her.

“Wait, you actually like like her? I was thinking you were just attracted, you know the thrill of the chase and all that. Fuck, Damiano!” Her smile came back tenfold. “I love this!”

He shot up from his lying position. “No! No, you don’t love this! I don’t love this! I have no fucking clue what I’m doing! She is so sweet and kind and sensitive and I can’t stop thinking about her, it’s turning me into a brain-dead zombie. I could never actually win her over, I fuck up so much and- … I talk too much don’t I?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so flustered!” Victoria remarked in amazement. “You’re actually, properly, crushing on her! You should tell her.” She almost added if only for my amusement but decided against it. This was obviously tormenting him already, no need for her to rub it in.

“I’m not gonna tell her shit! She’s our assistant, for god’s sake. I already could be in so much trouble if she took something I said wrong. I could fall flat on my face and- … Vic, I know that you care and you want me to be happy. Which I love and appreciate. We are best friends, we really are. I would do the same thing if you had a crush on someone, but I just don’t know what to do,” he moans, falling back onto the bed. “I haven’t been like this since school.”

Victoria patted his head in sympathy as he buried his face back into the pillow. She wasn’t quite sure what to advise him in this situation. Sure, she would love to see her friend happy. And there was definitely something cooking under the surface of Y/n’s feelings. And, honestly, the thought of the two of them together? She was basically swooning at the thought. But she also knew it wasn’t her place to meddle. Right?

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I don’t wanna scare her away.” He looked at Victoria with pleading eyes. “Has she talked to you at all? Have you picked up anything from her? Any hints?”

A sigh escaped her lips, but she knew she couldn’t help but give him at least a little push in what she hoped was the right direction. “Look, Damiano. I’m not gonna pretend like I didn’t notice she fancies you. Honestly, no surprise there. But I think we both know she’s not exactly the type to jump right into bed with someone. So take it slow. Show her you care. Woo her.”

“Woo her?! Like an old Italiano romance? I can do that… I think. Okay, what does she like… Y/n, what does she- She doesn’t really talk about herself that much, does she..” Victoria could see the gears turning in his head. “This was so much easier when I wasn’t invested… Why do I have to be invested, Vic?”

He looked at her with dopey eyes, before jumping up and pacing around the room. “Argh! She is making me go insane! I tried writing lyrics, but nothing is working. I just can’t focus when she’s around. She gets this look, especially when talking about her work and language.. At the pool, did you see how she looked at me?”

“You’ve written lyrics?! Now, you really got it bad, my friend,” Victoria shook her head in amusement. “But yes, I did. I told you, she’s interested. Can’t tell you how deep that runs, I’ve only known her for a few days myself and she is working for us, no way to ignore that. So maybe take a step back until you figure this out?”

“Yeah, you’re right. She works for us. That’s… that’s a giant, neon ‘no’.” He stopped walking, looking out of the window. “I need to cool it, don’t I? We’re on tour. What am I doing! We have fans and people who are looking forward to seeing us. We have gigs to play! Fuck.” He sighed, staring off into the distance. “We should probably sleep. No long drive tomorrow, but lots of interviews, right?”

“Don’t get in over your head about this,” she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She hadn’t expected this kind of outburst when she had knocked on his door earlier. “It’s the first week of tour. You got three more of seeing her literally every day. Concentrate on the job, then on her, yeah? Now let’s get some sleep. And I mean it - no pondering and smoking all through the night, you gotta rest!”

“You’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking. Thank you.” He pulled Victoria into a hug. “Thank god you’re here. Wouldn’t know what to do. Goodnight.”

She gave him a little wave as she left his room, only just hearing him mumble, “I have music to perform…”

***

As the night grew to a close, Y/n found herself in her own room, snuggling into a pillow. Glad that the next day would leave less free time. Drive to Copenhagen. Get everyone settled it. Maneuver them from interview to interview, although this time around Victoria would be a great help since she knew Danish. Then off to soundcheck, light dinner, the gig, sleep. No time to get lost in silly daydreams for once.

Yet, as sleep slowly crept up on her, she couldn’t help one last thought entering her mind.

I wonder if he is thinking of me.

#maneskin fiction #damiano david fiction #damiano david imagine #damiano david x you #damiano david x reader #maneskin imagine #maneskin x you #fluff #maneskin x reader #mywriting #bethanysnow #quiet music

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specialagentsergio · 3 years

Text

baby kiss it better

summary: When D.C. implements a lockdown order, you and Spencer decide to quarantine together. There’s just one problem—he’s working from home, and his coworkers don’t know about you.

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

category: fluff

content warnings: a few swear words, but otherwise it’s just fluff

a/n: ahh, the secret partner trope. how i love it. this is set in 2020, but with the season 5 cast! i was feeling particularly self-indulgent, so i made reader a night shift worker. this is for you, fellow night owls. stay safe out there everyone, and wear a mask!

a/n 2: i don’t actually know what a doctor or physical therapist would recommend for spencer’s knee injury. this is just going on my basic understanding of anatomy (i took a class in it this fall!) and what i've seen on grey’s anatomy lol.

word count: 2.2k

masterlist

Spencer tries not to grimace as he shifts in his chair. Working from home during the lockdown had initially seemed like it came at a great time, starting just a month after his knee injury. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled about having to do almost everything digitally, but at least he wouldn’t have to worry about being mobile.

Unfortunately, that had turned out to be a downside. Tethered to his seat by headphones, he hasn’t been able to get up and stretch his leg properly, and as a result, is experiencing more pain.

It’s only 8:30, but he can already feel it flaring up. It’s been happening earlier every day, likely due to the existing irritation from the day before. Today is Thursday, and he’s miserable—he dreads to think of what tomorrow will be like.

He’s wondering if there’s some way he could get out of work tomorrow when he hears the sound of the front door being unlocked. He looks up to see you pushing the door open with your shoulder, carrying far too many grocery bags than is reasonable.

“Be careful!” he exclaims, watching as you teeter to the side a little. You just wave him off and close the door with your heel.

Working from home may not have been the positive he was expecting it to be, but you’ve more than made up for it. The two of you had decided to quarantine together, and he’s really loved having you around. Granted, you’ve only been here since Sunday, but he’s starting to think that this is going to end with him asking you to move in with him for good.

He hears a thunk as you dump all the groceries on the kitchen table. Then you’re back in the living room, taking off your mask as you walk by so you can blow him a kiss. He presses his knuckles to his mouth to hide his smile.

Usually you give him a proper cheek or forehead kiss when you get home, but the team doesn’t know about you yet. It’s not that he’s necessarily keeping you a secret, he just... likes having you to himself, and he doesn’t really want it to change just yet.

He’s also not looking forward to the pitch Garcia’s voice is going to hit when she finds out he’s been dating someone for over a year without telling her.

“Are you listening, Reid?” Hotch’s voice makes Spencer focus back in on the screen.

“Oh, y-yeah. Yeah, of course. Um, I was just thinking that this choice of rope to bind the victims is interesting.” He doles out a few facts about it, which seems to do an adequate job of convincing everyone that he’s paying attention.

They take a break when the main briefing is over—Jack needs something from Hotch and Sergio has apparently knocked something breakable off of Emily’s kitchen counter. He slides his headphones off and mutes his mic. Apparently that’s a cue you’ve been waiting for, because only a few moments later you’re placing a mug of tea on his desk.

“Green tea,” you say. “Might help reduce the inflammation in your knee.” Then you’re lifting his foot off the small stool it’s resting on and sliding another pillow under it so his leg is more elevated.

“Wh—“ he starts, but you’re already hurrying back into the kitchen. You come back with a baggie of ice wrapped in a dishtowel in your hands, which you place it gently on top of his knee.

“Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off,” you say. “Then repeat with heat instead, like your physical therapist said. I’ll get the heating pad from the bedroom.”

“Hey, wait.” Spencer snags your wrists before you can walk away again. “How’d you know it was hurting?”

“Oh, I always know,” you reply. “You should have realized that by now.”

He thinks on that as you leave to get the heating pad, sipping his tea. You do always seem to just know, whether he’s in physical pain, a bad case is bothering him, or even if he’s just in a bad mood and doesn’t know why himself.

Not a day goes by where he doesn’t feel incredibly lucky to have you in his life.

“I’m leaving it by this outlet behind you. Have you been doing your stretches?”

He bites his lip, hesitating because he knows you won’t like the answer. But he doesn’t have to say it; you can tell from his expression.

“Spencer. You know you need to be doing them.”

“I know, I do,” he insists. “I just... can’t really get up and do them with these headphones.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Okay, so take them off. Your laptop has speakers.”

“But I don’t want to disturb you,” he protests. Since you work the night shift, you sleep during the day, usually heading to bed around 11 AM. He doesn’t want the noise from the Zoom calls to keep you up. Much like the bullpen in the FBI building, the calls can get rowdy.

“You won’t,” you assure. “I’ll just shut the bedroom door.”

“I guess that works,” he relents. “But I feel weird getting up and stretching in front of everyone. Like, wouldn’t that be disruptive?”

You sigh. “Spencer, I understand it’ll make you self-conscious, but you want full mobility in your knee again, right?”

“Yeah, I do, I get it,” he says sullenly, looking down into his mug. “I need to do the stretches if I want it to heal well.”

“Hey.” You take one of his hands and squeeze it. “I’m not trying to annoy you. I just want you to get better and be in less pain. I don’t like to see you hurting.”

“You’re not annoying me. I guess I’m just... not really used to being taken care of,” he admits quietly.

“Well, I’m gonna fix that.”

The confidence in your voice makes him unable to hold back a smile. “Alright.”

You smile back. “Is there anything else I can do?”

Spencer’s about to tell you that you’ve done plenty when an idea strikes him. He tilts his head to the side. “Well, there is something.”

“Yes?”

“There’s some research—nothing too substantial, but still some—that says kisses can help relieve pain,” he says.

You laugh, but it’s not unkind. “Oh, so you want me to kiss it better?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, glancing away shyly.

“Okay, then.” You tuck his hair behind his ear and press a kiss to his forehead. “Better?” you ask softly.

He hums. “Better.”

“Good.” You stand back up and stretch. “Well, I’ll be awake for a few more hours, so let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Spencer puts his headphones back on—he wants to wait to unplug them until you go to bed to spare you from hearing anything gruesome—and looks back at the screen to find Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Garcia staring him down. Rather hesitantly, he unmutes his mic and asks, “What?”

Emily is grinning—she looks the more awake than she has all morning. “Is there anything you wanna tell us?” she asks.

“Yeah, Spence,” JJ chimes in, “any new developments in your life?”

“I don’t—” he starts, then it hits him like a truck. He remembered to mute his mic, but the camera was still on. Clearly, they all saw you kiss his forehead. He barely stops himself from hitting his head against the table; he covers his face with his hands instead and groans.

“Isn’t the whole point of all this that we stay away from other people?” Morgan asks, and Spencer doesn’t have to look up to know that Derek has a shit-eating grin on his face.

“People outside of your household,” he corrects without thinking.

“Oh my god!” Garcia shrieks and he winces, pulling the headphones off out of instinct. He’s not the only one—JJ jumps and yanks her earbuds out, and Derek lifts one side of his headphones away from his ear. Spencer hesitantly copies him, putting one half of his headphones back on.

“Jesus, Pen, you scared the shit out of Sergio,” Emily’s saying.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” she says, then turns her attention completely to Spencer. “Boy wonder. You’re living with someone and I’m just now hearing about it?”

“I mean, you never asked,” he points out.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d have to!” she huffs. “You usually tell your friends if you’re seeing someone new, let alone living with them!”

“You do, maybe. Emily and I don’t,” he says.

Emily herself shrugs. “Good point. Fair enough, Reid.”

“Besides, we’re not living together,” he continues, “We’re quarantining together.”

“Right, because that’s such a big difference,” JJ teases. He glares at her in return.

Rossi returns to his desk before Penelope can start bombarding Spencer with questions. But there’s no reprieve for him—the man takes one look around and knows something’s up. “Okay, what’s going on?” he asks.

“We just found out pretty boy has a partner,” Morgan sing-songs before Spencer can say anything.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“And he didn’t tell any of us!” Garcia adds.

Spencer groans again and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “This is exactly why I didn’t say anything,” he mutters.

A knocking sound draws his attention away from the call. You’re standing in the bedroom doorway, your hand resting on the doorframe. “You okay?” you ask. “I just heard you groan.”

Spencer mutes his mic again and then leans over so he’s out of the camera’s frame. “They found out,” he sighs.

“Found out what?”

“Found out about... you.”

Realization crosses your face. “They saw me kissing you better?”

“Yeah. I forgot the camera was still on,” he says sheepishly.

“Well, it was bound to happen eventually.” You make your way over to him and take the ice off his knee. “It’s been twenty minutes, by the way.”

“Thanks. So, um...” He picks up the fidget toy you bought him when he was going stir-crazy in the hospital and starts messing with it. “What do you wanna do about this?”

“Whatever you’re most comfortable with,” you reply immediately.

“Okay, good answer,” he says. “But I actually want to know how you feel about this.”

“Well, I’m fine with meeting them, even if it’s just over Zoom. But if you’d rather wait, I’m fine with that, too. Really,” you add when he raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, well.” Spencer looks back at the screen. Hotch has returned now, and even though he can’t hear anything, it’s clear they’re all waiting on him. Best to just do this now, he thinks, otherwise I’ll be hearing about it all day. “How would you feel about meeting them right now?”

You blink. “Um, okay. So long as you don’t mind me looking like I was up all night, because, you know... I was.”

“You look fine,” he reassures. “Uh, just stay put for a second. Let me ask if this is okay.”

He readjusts to sit in his chair properly. He starts to put his headphones back on, but you unplug them so you can hear what’s happening.

“You ready to continue, Reid?” Hotch asks. It’s business as usual with him—if he was told what happened earlier, Spencer can’t tell.

“Well, actually,” he starts, and nervousness bubbles up in his chest. He glances up and you give him a reassuring smile. “Actually, I was wondering if I could introduce you guys to someone first?”

Garcia squeals. “Ooh, sir, please say yes!”

“Just keep it quick,” Hotch says. He didn’t even hesitate—they totally told him.

Spencer takes a deep breath, then gestures for you to come over. You seem a little nervous as well, but you handle it well, walking around the desk and into the frame. “Oh, we should have gotten you something to sit on,” he laments when you lean over the back of his chair.

“It’s fine.” You drape your arms around his shoulders and adjust so your head is on the same level as his. It’s silent for a moment, then you say, “Well, introduce me, silly.”

“Oh!” He clears his throat, trying to ignore the heat he feels in his cheeks. “Um, this is (Y/N). My... my partner.”

The call explodes with greetings, everyone talking over each other. “Slow down, slow down,” Spencer pleads. This is all overwhelming enough—he doesn’t need any excess stimuli.

Once it settles, everyone takes their turn introducing themselves (you already know who they all are, though, as he’s told you so much about them). Then you field a few questions—what you do for work, how you met, what your favorite food is (that was Rossi—Spencer suspects that he wants to know for the first dinner party he can hold after quarantine is over).

It’s going well. Everyone seems to like you, and you’re getting by just fine. Until Garcia asks her question, that is.

“So, (Y/N), how long has boy wonder been keeping you a secret from us?”

Both of you tense. “Uh, you know what, I’ll let him answer that,” you say quickly. “It’s just about time for me to go to bed.”

“Wha—no. No, it’s not. It’s just barley past nine,” Spencer protests.

“Yeah, I’m really tired. I’m gonna try and get some extra sleep today.” You give a little wave. “It was nice meeting you all.”

“Don’t leave me,” he whispers desperately. “Not with that question.”

You feign a yawn. “Sorry, I’m just too tired.”

He watches you go back to the bedroom with a pout.

“Well?” Garcia insists when he looks back at her.

Spencer cringes and preemptively lowers his computer volume.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid #fluff #my fic #yes i watch grey's what about it

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 3 years

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Heloise's 3.5k Followers Sleepover [Closed!] and Writing Challenge [Closed!]

Hello my lovelies <3

On Wednesday we reached another milestone once again! I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that so many of you have been enjoying my writing. All the support I’ve gotten from my followers has been beyond my expectations and I’m just so very grateful. I never imagined getting 50 let alone 3500 followers. Mind blowing really! I wanted to do something fun for such a huge milestone and as it’s a writing blog, I thought, let’s write. I want the writers to enjoy writing and the readers to enjoy reading. However, on the other hand, I didn’t want to leave out my non-writer followers so a sleepover should be in place as well.

Therefore, welcome to⁠—

Heloise’s 3.5k followers Sleepover and Writing Challenge

Part 1. Sleepover [Closed!] (Please click on the link above!)

Part 2. Writing Challenge [Closed!] (See below the Keep Reading option!)

Let's have fun and send your Ask! ^^

Heloise's Map | Masterlists

Heloise’s 3.5k Followers Writing Challenge Masterlist

Part 2. Writing Challenge!

Disclaimer! I do not own any of the prompts listed below, they all belong to @screnwriter and @dreamy-prose and each prompt list I have used for creating this event are listed at the bottom of the post. [Numbers] next to prompts refer to the prompt lists you can find them at.

Rules!

➵ You don’t have to follow me to participate, although it would be much appreciated. ➵ Chose as many prompts as you’d like. No limits. ➵ Write for any universe and any pairings, I basically read everything. ➵ No incest, racial, religious, or sexual hate openly, not related to the story line, but to hurt others. If you have any of the above in your fic, I will not reblog it. ➵ Fluff, angst, smut, anything goes, just please use appropriate Warnings! ➵ Use the Keep reading option above 500 words. Tutorial from phone is Here! ➵ No deadline for submission, but deadline for entry closes on 27 September 2021. Clarification: You can submit your fics even next year if you wish. End date is only for entering the event. I will not be able to accept entries after 27 September 2021. ➵ If you would like to participate, just send me an Ask with the prompt(s) and character and Reblog this post. ➵ Please use the tag #heloises3.5kcelebration and tag my name @heloisedaphnebrightmore when you post your fic. If it's not reblogged in 48 hours, please send me an Ask or DM. My tags seem to be funny at times. ➵ And most importantly, Have fun! :)

I decided to use both Scenario prompts and Dialogue prompts to take on a different approach compared to my last writing challenge.

Scenario prompts

Enemies to lovers / Tension prompts

1. “I’ll kiss you right now to prove that I don’t feel anything for you.” “Okay.” The two characters kiss, and whoops they felt something, followed by lingering, as they’re catching their breath, trying to make sense of what just happened, and the feelings rushing through them, and then there’s this urge to dive back in for another kiss. [5]

@goddessofdawns (x) Loki Laufeyson x Reader

2. Your enemy has never let anyone touch their scar, until you come along. [7]

@natashxromanovf (x) Bucky Barnes x Reader

3. Character A and B kiss each other to prove there's nothing going on between them, but they get so caught up in each other, they prove the exact opposite. [2]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

4. For one night, Character A and B give into temptation and sleep with each other, hoping it will solve the tension building between them. It does the opposite. [2]

5. Character A and B avoid each other after sharing an intimate moment, be it a kiss, a hug, holding hands, or just looking at each other's lips longer than appropriate. [1]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

6. You're upset one night, and you don't know where to go, so you end up at your enemy's house, and as they open the door, you stay silent for a second, before saying “I don't know where else to go.” Your enemy doesn't say anything, instead they pull you into their arms, giving you a shoulder to cry on. [1]

@goddessofdawns (x) Bucky Barnes x Reader

7. The best friends to lovers “Let’s just kiss to see what it’s like.” They kiss, followed by the characters pulling away, eyes still closed, forehead against forehead, lingering… and then they go in for the second kiss. [5]

@goddessofdawns (x) Newt (Maze Runner) x Reader

8. You threaten your enemy, and when they close the distance between you, you realize how attracted you truly are to them. [1]

9. Pinning your enemy against the wall. Or straddling your enemy’s hips whilst they pin your arms above your head. [1]

@theravenclawgal (x) Sirius Black x Reader

10. You end up on your enemy's lap, and you yank the belt from their pants “Let's just get this over with.” [1]

11. You're about to leave the room, but your enemy slams the door shut, and with one hand on either side of your head, barricade you against the wall... (cue the reckless make-out session). [2]

@band--psycho (x) James Potter x Reader

12. You’re sharing a bed with your enemy and being told “Stay on your side or I'll set this whole bed on fire”. Only to wake up the next day with your enemy's arms wrapped around you. [2]

@forever-and-more (x) Lorcan Salvaterre (Throne of Glass) x Reader

13. Your enemy has been badly wounded, and somebody needs to bandage them up, so you agree to help them, and suddenly they're shirtless, and you can't help but admire their body, something that cheeky bastard takes notice of. [1]

14. You've been wounded, your face is all bruised up. Your enemy puts a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes to theirs, asking “Who did this to you?”. When you don't answer, they ask you again “Who did this to you?”. [1]

@band--psycho (x) Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

@grimdevil (x) Regulus Black x Reader

15. You've just been hurt, you're bleeding out, and your enemy is freaking out, dropping the “I love you. I can't lose you” card, begging you not to close your eyes. [2]

@goddessofdawns (x) Loki Laufeyson x Reader

@forever-and-more (x) Lorcan Salvaterre (Throne of Glass) x Reader

16. Two characters look at each other, a tense silence between them and then bang, lips crash into each other as they can’t resist anymore and then one of them pins the other against the wall. [6]

@forever-and-more (x) Lorcan Salvaterre (Throne of Glass) x Reader

17. You had a really good time on the date tonight, and your date is asking for a good night kiss. It was only meant to be on the cheek, but then you pull back, our eyes meet, and there's a gravitational pull pulling you closer again. [6]

18. You’ve never been kissed before so your friend volunteers, but you decline because you’ve been best friends and it would be weird. But a couple hours later you lay awake in bed and can't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss them and suddenly you regret what you said. [6]

@queen-of-brokenhearts (x) Hermione Granger x Female!Reader

Intimate / Domestic prompts

19. You are wearing your lover’s clothes when they say, “Can I get my shirt/hoodie back?” and you say “No.” or “Come and get it.”. [4]

@oliverwoodmarrymepls (x) Oliver Wood x Reader

20. You're talking on the phone and your lover quietly comes up behind you, wraps their arms around you, and starts gently kissing your neck. You begin to lose focus on your phone call as you concentrate on not making any noise. [3]

@band--psycho (x) Fred Weasley x Reader

21. You’re supposed to be mad at your lover but they’re holding your face and smiling, and you just can't resist it when they're pouting like that. [6]

22. You and your lover sitting next to each other at a table, and they rest their hand on your thigh, gently rubbing their thumb back and forth. [3]

23. Looking at your crush or lover only to find them already looking at you and when you make eye contact, they smile at you. [3]

@iliveiloveiwrite (x) - Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

24. You think mistletoe kisses are lame, but your love interest brings you under one, regardless of the season and suddenly you're all for it. [6]

25. You and your lover are in bed, when you say, “It’s time to get up.” and your lover pulls you back down, wraps their hands around your body, snuggles up close, preventing you from getting out of bed. [4]

26. Your lover is resting their head on your lap, falling asleep whilst you are playing with their hair. [4]

@oliverwoodmarrymepls (x) Oliver Wood x Reader

@band--psycho (x) Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

27. Having a piece of hair brushed off your face as you're reading or looking down. [3]

28. You're sick, and you can't kiss your lover, and it's an absolute torture. [6]

@msmarvelouswinchester (x) Jensen Ackles or Dean Winchester x Reader

29. Being asked “Are you sure?” (There's nothing sexier than consent) [3]

30. When it’s a slow burn, and the characters just look at each other like “Fuck it, I’m done with this.” and they finally kiss. [4]

@acourtofbooksandfantasy (x) Azriel (ACOTAR) x Reader

Dialogue prompts

Flirty / Sarcastic prompts

1. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I like the sound of your voice, because you don’t seem to ever shut up.” [9]

2. “Is that a challenge?” [9]

3. “You’re cute when you’re nervous.” [15]

@will-be-a-fineline (x) Harry Styles x reader

4. “When have I ever put you in danger? Actually, don't answer that.” [11]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

5. “I dare you.” [9]

6. “If you don’t shut up, I might as well kiss you to put that mouth to good use.” [9]

7. Character A: “Do yourself a favour, get laid.” Character B: “Why, are you offering?” [9]

@grimdevil (x) Draco Malfoy x Reader

@theravenclawgal (x) Sirius Black x Reader

8. Character A: “What if bite you?” Character B: “I’m into that.” [10]

9. Character A is returning a priced procession to Character B and says, “I want something in return.” Character B “What?” Character A “You.” [2]

10. Character A: “What changed your mind? “ Character B: “You.” [7]

11. Character A: “What do you want?” Character B: “You.” [9]

12. Character A: “Just admit it.” Character B: “Admit what?” Character A: “I’m the best you’ve ever had.” [13]

13. Character A: “You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” Character B: “And yet for some reason your mouth just keeps on going.” [8]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

@theravenclawgal (x) Sirius Black x Reader

14. Character A: “I shouldn't have kissed you” “ Character B: You're right. But I should've.” [7]

15. Character A: “Do you flirt with everyone?” Character B: “Unfortunately, you’re the only one who caught my attention.” Character A: “Unfortunately?” [8]

@sexysirius (x) Sirius Black x Reader

16. Character B: “I like to keep my options open.” [8]

17. “I hate you. Oh, I hate you so much right now.” [11]

18. “Jesus Christ, you're annoying.” [11]

First kiss / Confession prompts

19. Character A: “Come over here.” Character B: “Why?” Character A: “You said you’ve never been kissed before. I’m planning on changing that.” [10]

20. Character A: “Just… don’t make this weird, all right?” Character B: “Meaning what?” Character A: “Meaning, don’t treat me like I haven’t been kissed before.” Character B: “But you… haven’t been kissed before.” Character A: “Look, I just want this over and done with, okay. I don’t want to be treated like a delicate flower. Kiss me like you mean it.” [10]

@band--psycho (x) Damon Salvatore x Reader

21. Character A: “I love you.” Character B: “I know.” Character A: “You knew?” Character B: “You haven’t exactly been discreet.” [15]

@band--psycho (x) Natasha Romanoff x Reader

22. “Listen, I know you’re busy, but… it’s important.” [15]

23. “I love you, and I don’t care if you don’t love me back. I just need you to know that I do.” [15]

24. Character A: “Do you have feelings for me?” Character B: “What?” Character A: “Do you have feelings for me?” [14]

25. “Is that truly, all it is? Just, two friends, hanging out?” [14]

@pregnant-piggy (x) Sirius Black x Reader

26. “I need to ask you something and I don’t want you to brush off the subject or turn it into a joke… I need you to be honest with me.” [14]

@grimdevil (x) Young!Sirius Black

27. “Are you… are you in love with me?” [14]

28. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” [14]

29. “All this time I thought you didn’t want me.” [14]

30. “If there’s something you want to tell me, now’s the time.” [14]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

31. “There’s nothing going on between me and Character C. because the person I want to be with is standing right in front of me.” [14]

32. Character A: “I want this to work. I really do.” Character B: “Then we’re on the same page.” [16]

33. “I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t even think it was possible to miss someone this much.” [16]

34. “I know we're not together, but I might die today so I'm going to kiss you just in case there is no later.” [6]

Reassurance / Sweet prompts

35. “You could stay here, tonight. For as long as you'd like.” [7]

@oliverwoodmarrymepls (x) Oliver Wood x Reader

36. “Could you ever love someone like me?” [7]

37. Character A: “I've never been in love before.” Character B: “Then let me show you.” [7]

@goddessofdawns (x) Sam Wilson x Reader

38. “I can’t get up. You’re gonna have to carry me.” [11]

@goddessofdawns (x) Sam Wilson x Reader

39. “Are you okay with me kissing you?” [12]

@deanwanddamons (x) Jensen Ackles x Reader

40. “I feel safe with you. I always have.” [12]

@band--psycho (x) Newt (Maze Runner) x Reader

41. “I need you to know that you can always come to me.” [12]

@iliveiloveiwrite (x) - Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

42. Character A: “You’ll wait for me?” Character B: “For as long as I need to.” [12]

43. “I’ll always be there for you. Don’t you ever doubt that.” [12]

@band--psycho (x) George Weasley x Reader

44. “Don’t hide from me. you’re even more beautiful in the morning.” [13]

@will-be-a-fineline (x) Harry Styles x reader

45. “I’m going to kiss you until you’re sick of it.” [13]

@goddessofdawns (x) Sam Wilson x Reader

46. “Just hold me. I’m not ready to wake up.” [13]

@pregnant-piggy (x) Sirius Black x Reader

If you have any questions, don’t be afraid of sending me a message. My inbox is always open for everyone :)

Prompt lists used from @screnwriter and @dreamy-prose

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]

#milestone #heloises3.5kcelebration #writing challenge

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

Text

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 11

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: Nope! Notes: Here we are, a breath away from the end. This features not one, but FOUR songs written by myself. If you only choose to listen to one of them, listen to the final one (Cradle of Heaven), as it is a duet I wrote specifically for this fanfiction, as something that the reader wrote to play together with Daniela. The links to these songs will be within the fanfiction itself, at relevant times. Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy, Pt. 7: Harmony, Pt. 8: Obbligato, Pt. 9: Berceuse, Pt. 10b: Hymn AMAB

Chapter 11: Cadence

(Cadence: Two chords that mark the end of a song)

The stage is set, the lights are dimmed, your heart pounds within your chest, and the world is yours. Soon, it will be Daniela’s. She is right by your side, as ever, hand gently taking hold of your own. There’s a silent reassurance in her grip, a reminder that the two of you have overcome a plethora of challenges. A promise that this will be no different. Both of you take a deep breath, in sync, before exchanging a quick kiss. All of your hard work has been leading up to the coming moments. Although you are beyond confident in your lover’s abilities, there is a shadow of doubt in the back of your mind. Not for her sake, but surrounding the expectations held by her mother, the standard against which you would be measured.

“Come hell or high water, Songbird, I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise,” Daniela whispers, squeezing your hand again, eyes unblinking as they stare into yours. “You’ve made every right choice, worked harder than anyone I know, and there is nothing more I can ask of you… except another kiss to celebrate afterwards, that is.” Giggling in response gives you the moment you need to relax, nerves fading into the background of your mind. “Now let’s put on a show the likes of which my mother has never seen, mhmm?”

THREE HOURS EARLIER:

“Here, you can borrow my brooch. It’s been in the family for generations, since before we even came to the village, passed down starting with an ancestor who crafted it himself, from materials he scavenged while fleeing his home country,” Daphne rambles, helping you attach the jewelry to your shirt. Thankfully, her hands do not tremble nearly as much as yours have been for the past hour. “I’m more than sure that Lady Daniela will tell you this much, but I feel the need to repeat just how good you look right now. I don’t know where the hell they’ve been hiding this version of our uniform, but damn do I wish I could get one for my next date with Ygritte. Seriously, if you can get one in my size, please do me that favor.”

“Anything for my best friend. Especially after all the times you’ve saved my ass these past few months,” you reply, pausing to give her shoulder an affectionate pat. If not for her constant interference running, someone would have certainly found out about your relationship with Daniela. “Speaking of that… of my life being on the line, I mean… no matter what happens today, no matter what Lady Dimitrescu decides, take care of yourself. You’ve gambled with your own blood to keep me safe, but what I’ve done, what I’ve risked, those were my choices. My consequences. The last thing I’d ever want is for you to pay for them, somehow.”

Rolling her eyes, Daphne gives you a playful shove to the chest, before smoothing out the fabric of your dress uniform. Now she refuses to meet your gaze, a familiar mistiness taking over her brown eyes.

“Nobody around here is stupid enough to think you’ll die today. You managed to get Lady Daniela, of all people, to stay focused long enough to learn some absolutely beautiful pieces of music. You have proved, time and time again, that you are a talented musician, teacher, and ‘servant’. So get out there and kick some metaphorical ass, my friend, because you are ready,” she finally says, offering you what seems to be a handshake. But as soon as your hand meets hers, she’s pulling you in for a hug, holding you tight for a solid minute. When at last you part, you give her what may very well be the last smile she’d ever see gracing your lips.

---------------------------

A hand’s edge against xer forehead, parallel to the ground, kept perfectly flat. From anyone else, it would be mockery. From xer? Honest salute, solidarity in a traditional form, accompanied by a sharp-toothed grin. Mimicking the expression, you wave at Ava, glad to see that xe would be awake for your concert. After your first night with your girlfriend, Daphne had helped arrange for someone to be your “cover story” for sleeping outside of your usual quarters. With Daniela’s input (and jealousy), only one candidate had revealed themselves, in the form of a (conveniently) mute butler with an inconsistent schedule, love of mischief, and somehow the respect of the Dimitrescu family. Now, xe appeared ready to escort you to the location of your trial by fire.

“Are you sure our mutual friend won’t be upset to see the two of us together?” You teased, knowing full well that Ava was one of the only people that Daniela trusted 100% around you. In response, xe gives an exaggerated shrug, then quickly links xer arm with your own. Together you march onwards to your destiny, amused by the way xe practically skipped down the hallway. Maybe there was a certain wisdom to xer shenanigans, a carefree philosophy that encouraged laughter in the face of death, and you embraced the thought with a smile.

Before long, however, the two of you encounter another unlikely pair headed towards the same destination: Lady Cassandra, looking somewhat embarrassed, with an unfamiliar maiden at her side. Their hands are clutching each other desperately, although neither of them dares to look at the other. Instead they both watch you closely from where they’ve paused in the corridor. Oddly unfazed, Ava gives them a short bow of acknowledgement, earning xer a brief nod from Cassandra. Seeming eager to move on, she addresses you quickly before gesturing for you to keep walking.

“Good luck. Don’t fuck this up for Daniela, or I’ll never hear the end of it,” she growls, doing her best to downplay her obvious concern. Wanting to let her keep up with her facade, you merely give a nod as you resume walking towards the concert stage. Soft footsteps behind you let you know that the strange pair are accompanying you. Still walking alongside you, Ava repeatedly glances behind you, putting out xer hands in the shape of a heart, giggling all the while. If you didn’t know any better, you would almost assume that xe wanted to get hit by Cassandra.

“Ava, please calm down. If you’re not careful, she’ll throw something at you. If she does that, you’ll probably dodge, and then I’ll probably end up getting hit, and then I’ll miss the concert, Lady Dimitrescu will kill me as punishment, Daniela will be sad and whiny about it, and none of you will have any peace for, like, a month. Three weeks, bare mims,” you tease, nudging xer in the ribs. Emphasizing a pout, xe sends one last look at Cassandra and her ‘friend’ (whose hand she was still holding onto like a lifeline), mouthing words you couldn’t parse. Based on the way Cassandra groans, it was something ridiculously cheesy. Regardless, xe behaves the rest of the way there…

ONE MINUTE TO SHOWTIME:

“I love you, Firefly, and I know that you’re going to do absolutely amazing out there. I’m so proud of you,” you murmur, pressing a feather-light kiss to Daniela’s cheek. As dearly as you wish to stay behind the curtain, in her arms, you know that the show was inevitable. With one last nod to your beloved, you part the fabric shielding you, stepping into the spotlight. Imaginary crowds grow hushed at your appearance, a sea of faces greeting you warmly. In truth, there are but five members in this audience, each gazing upon you with veiled interest. Donning you best presentation persona, you set this final act in motion. “Lady Dimitrescu, Lady Cassandra, Lady Bela, and Mx. Caldwell, it brings me great pleasure to present to you, on this day, a concert performed by your own Lady Daniela. For three months now I have acted as her instructor, and these three months have been, perhaps, the most rewarding of my entire life. I could not possibly be any more proud of her than I already am. Now, without further ado… let us begin!”

Stepping to the side, a tug of a rope has the curtains parting entirely, revealing your beloved, waiting ready at the piano. All at once your audience (including Cassandra’s partner, acting as a mere servant in the background) sits up with wide smiles. They look Daniela over, taking in the sight of her fanciest dress, and the way her eyes light up with joy. By the time her fingers begin dancing away at the keys, there is not a single ounce of anxiety in your entire soul. This first song is a relic from your past, a representation of an abandoned idea, yet she plays it like a celebration. It’s fast, hits hard, a bold take right out of the gate. Admittedly, it is also somewhat short. Nonetheless, it serves its purpose, igniting a spark of excitement in those present. Once the song ends, Daniela is surprised by the intensity of her family’s applause. In the back of her mind, she trembles with excitement, knowing that the best was yet to come.

Riding this wave of pride, she immediately settles into the next song, something slower but far grander. Affection thrums inside your chest as you watch your pupil perfectly execute another piece. You can only imagine what her mother must be feeling, to see just how far her daughter has come in such a short amount of time. A quick glance in Alcina’s direction reveals the barest hints towards her being impressed. For now that was enough to satisfy you. Soon enough her face would twist in surprise, as the second song ended, and a new face steps up onto the stage: Lady Bela. Wordlessly she retrieves her violin from the back of the stage, then turns to the front with a mischievous smile.

“Now, a duet! Presenting the ever-talented Lady Bela, to join Lady Daniela for a rendition of an original song, dubbed ‘Northern Lights’. Enjoy!” You call out, before once more taking your place at the side. While Daniela did not need you to count her in for her solo performances, this feels ever so slightly more important, and as such you do your best to conduct for the duration of the song. If either of the performers need it, they hide it well. Honestly, you weren’t sure if your girlfriend had looked your way even a single time so far. ‘Twas incredible to witness her. Akin to a siren, near glowing, taking to the stage as if born to grace its center. Even with Bela working her own magic, Daniela is ever the star. Together they weave a lovely song, notes rising high into the air, swirling around an enchanted audience.

When it ends, both performers give a bow, as if the entire affair had come to a close. Without hinting at what was to come, you switch places with the eldest Dimitrescu daughter. A deep breath rattles your ribcage as you find your center, reaching out to take Daniela’s hand, the two of you raising your arms upward in a display of union. For the first time this evening, Lady Alcina narrows her eyes in what feels like disapproval. But you pay her no mind. Instead you sit alongside your beloved, quietly settling into your practiced position.

There is no introduction for this song. No announcement, no showmanship, nor even a countdown into the symphony. Simply, like exhaling a breath, the two of you start to play. Your phrases echo hers, and vice versa, calling and answering, accompanying all the while, natural as anything holy in the wild. ‘Tis the second shortest song of the night, only long enough to showcase the degree of your partnership with Daniela. As the song crescendos into an ending, you manage to meet the gaze of your employer. Perhaps it is merely an illusion of hope, or a reflection of lights above, but you swear you see tears in her eyes.

“Outstanding, incredible,” she praises, rising to her feet alongside her other daughters, clapping all the while. Once again you rise to your feet, hand clasped with Daniela’s, bowing as deeply as you can manage. Before you can even process what’s happening, your girlfriend is being pulled away from you, swept up into the arms of her mother. Desperation digs like a knife into your heart, as you ache to celebrate with her, but you remain ever in the guise of a professional. “You did amazing, my dear. I cannot begin to describe how proud I am.” The family gathers around each other, buzzing with affection fit to make the hardest of hearts melt. You are left on the outside, awkwardly waiting, without a hint of acknowledgment.

Even if this concert was a measure of your skill as a teacher, Lady Dimitrescu had never bothered to consider you more than another servant. This night was about Daniela. About your secret girlfriend, the brightest star in all the skies. That is not something that bothers you, nor does it surprise you. All that makes you wish to weep is the desire to kiss her. To sweep her into your arms, with celebratory kisses, singing her name as a praise to higher powers. In the end, it takes several minutes for Daniela to pull away enough to move back to you, and even then she cannot give you the reaction she yearns for.

“I’ll come by to talk to you tonight, I promise,” she whispers, as she gives you the weakest hug you have ever felt. Then she is returning to her family, clinging to her mother with a massive grin. Soon enough you are left alone on stage, quiet surrounding you, mixed feelings gnawing at the pit of your stomach. Something feels… wrong. You cannot put a name to it. No one has hinted to you what your beloved has planned, for none but her even have a clue. As soon as she is alone with her mother, as soon as she has the smallest sliver of an opportunity, she knows what she must do. “Mother… we need to talk. I... I have a confession to make.”

#daniela dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu #resident evil: village #re8 village #avaskian caldwell #cliffhanger #sorry folks #not beta read

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renjuseyo · 3 years

Note

I'm the one that ask about poly. I want to make request now if you're okay with it about male reader jihoon and seungcheol. Seungcheol being jealous when reader babied jihoon even though Seungcheol get it most of the time. While jihoon hate it when reader doing that but only whine and do nothing at all. Reader didn't stop because he know Jihoon enjoy it and also watching Seungcheol pouting and making a fuss is one of his entertainment.

pay attention to me ; s.coups & woozi

group: seventeen

pairing: choi seungcheol / lee jihoon / reader (male)

synopsis: just because seungcheol’s dating you two doesn’t make him less jealous when you direct your attention to jihoon, even if he always receives your pampering.

genre: fluff

i hope you liked this anon! i think this is a very cute prompt, and i had fun playing with jicheol’s dynamics. i kind of lost inspo if you couldn’t tell though lol... anyways, feedback is always appreciated!! ^^

age order goes as: seungcheol > reader > jihoon

jihoon: i won’t be home until late, so don’t wait up for me [11:58 PM]

that was sent to you and seungcheol four hours ago. seeing how seungcheol had gotten off work at a decent time (if you consider ten-thirty decent) compared to usual, you had assumed it would be the same for jihoon, too. apparently not.

normally, by the time the clock strikes three am, you would be fast asleep, squished between seungcheol and jihoon. but instead, you’re parking your car outside of the pledis building, with seungcheol struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat. “you know, i could’ve driven here instead,” the older offers, yawning.

you roll your eyes, pushing your door open. “don’t be ridiculous. you can barely keep your eyes open, and you’ve worked all day. driving is the least i could do.”

you two step out of your car. after locking it, you begin walking towards the studio. the dim glow of the lamp posts and the faint twinkle of the stars are your only guides to the entryway, and you’re reminded once again just how late it is when you take in your surroundings. not a single sound can be heard, and the sky above you is blanketed black. what in the world is jihoon doing so late?

(well, there’s only one thing he could be doing this late. but most importantly, why? the members of seventeen are supposed to have the weekend off, so he has plenty of time to finish up any projects.)

once seungcheol unlocks the door, you two trudge inside, yawning. it takes a few minutes for you both to find jihoon’s studio, but it isn’t hard to spot. in the dark hallway, there’s only one room lit up, with a blue, fluorescent light splashing its walls. you glance at the small window, and just as you had suspected, your boyfriend is perched on his chair, hunched over his desktop.

luckily his door isn’t locked, so seungcheol twists the doorknob and pulls it open. the intrusion startles jihoon, evident by the way he flinches in his seat. when he spins around, you frown at the weary look on his face. the bright blue of his room highlights his eye bags, and you can see him struggling to stay awake. “what are you two doing here? you should be asleep,” he says.

you stride towards him, eyebrows furrowed. “that’s what we should be saying. do you have any idea what time it is? you’re supposed to be at home with us.” seungcheol nods in agreement, probably too tired to engage himself in a conversation.

“not until i finish this,” the younger protests, gesturing at his monitor. you peek behind him to look at what’s pulled up, and unsurprisingly, there’s a new project loaded up, probably one of the songs he’s working on for seventeen’s next album. “management said i have to get this done by next week.” he glances at the clock. “plus, it’s only three am. i’ve had less sleep.”

“by less sleep you mean no sleep,” you correct, propping your hands on your hips. you almost look the part of a disappointed parent. “that’s so bad for you, you know.”

“hoon, we have this weekend off. you can work on it then,” seungcheol replies, yawning. “come sleep with us. anyone with a pair of eyes can tell that you’re tired.”

jihoon rolls his eyes, but the yawn that leaves his throat is evidence enough. “i’m just fine. i already downed a whole bottle of soda, anyways.”

you tiredly trudge over to him, tugging at his sleeve. he raises a questioning eyebrow, but he doesn’t say anything as you drag him over to the couch by the wall. “hoonie, you’ve been up since six am. it’s not good for babies to sleep so late.”

he flushes at the implications, frowning. it ends up looking more like a pout, though, further proving your point. “i’m not a baby. you’re acting like one right now,” he protests.

you pull him onto the couch, arms trapping him. “but you’re the youngest, so you’re the baby. right, cheol?”

instead of agreeing with you, the oldest of you three pouts, flopping down beside you. “that’s no fair, (name). both hoonie and i worked today, so why are you only babying him?” he whines. for someone who’s supposed to be the oldest, he sure craves attention like a child.

you wave a dismissive hand, scooting over so seungcheol has more room. this causes you and jihoon to squish even closer together, and as discomforting as it is for all three of you, no one makes any moves to go to a more comfortable area. but then again, you three usually wound up like this more often than not, so you all stopped minding altogether. “hush, cheol. we cuddled for like, an hour when we were home. hoonie hasn’t had anyone to take care of him yet.”

jihoon rolls his eyes, pressed against your chest. “i’m right here, you know.” as much as he dislikes skinship, he’s too tired to move, and your embrace is comforting, though he’d never admit it.

you hum, snuggling closer to him. “lack of sleep makes babies grouchy. you can worry about your project tomorrow.”

“but-”

“don’t talk back to the adults,” you murmur, dozing off, pressing your forehead against his.

jihoon grumbles, though he doesn’t try to move. “this is crazy. i’m only a year younger than you and seungcheol-hyung. what do you mean don’t talk back to the adults?” he snorts.

when you don’t respond, he can only assume you’ve fallen asleep. he rolls his eyes and cranes his neck to peek at seungcheol. his eyes are also fluttering close, arms firmly wrapped around your waist. sometimes he wonders why you call him the baby when seungcheol is right there, constantly whining for your affection. if anything, he’s the baby of you three.

seeing how he can’t wriggle his way out of here (not that he would. drinking a whole bottle of coke-cola has done nothing to lift his drowsiness), he can do nothing but surrender to your clutches and lay limp in your arms. he closes his eyes in an attempt to fall asleep, but hearing your voice in his head makes it a tad difficult.

you’re the youngest, so you’re the baby~

jihoon huffs, glaring at you, who’s oblivious to his piercing eyes. “says the one who always needs to hug something before he sleeps,” he quietly grumbles, poking your cheek.

to his surprise, the subtle motion is enough to stir you awake, and he feels himself heat up when your eyes flutter open. even when you’re tired, you still manage to look breathtaking. “go to sleep, hoonie,” you remind again before dozing back asleep.

when jihoon glances at the clock, the white, neon digits show him that it’s nearly four am. so this is what he ends up doing, but not because you told him to.

jihoon knows that despite your constant babying, you recognize that he’s a functioning adult who’s more than capable of handling responsibilities. even more than you, he might argue. you just have an affectionate nature and make it your sole duty to take care of everyone around you, even if they’re older than you, like seungcheol. plus, you just like calling those younger than you babies. if it weren’t for the fact that you’re only a few months older than him, he would’ve thought you were the oldest of you three.

though he claims to despise your affectionate nature, he’s thankful to have your presence, especially around him and seungcheol. he knows that as the leader of one of the biggest boy groups - both metaphorically and physically - the stress is undoubtedly more burdensome than the ones the other members have. he knows that seungcheol spends more time structuring himself as a strong leader and wise oldest member than as a twenty-five-year-old man who likes music and video-games. which is why he’s grateful that you’re around to give him the pampering and leisure he deserves, reminding him that it’s okay to be taken care of sometimes.

he isn’t mad that you direct most of your pampering at seungcheol. if anything, he’s more than happy, because now you’re there to give him the attention he complains about when he can’t. your presence, for a lack of better words, acts as a balance for you three. but there are times where you choose to baby (read: pester) him, simply because he’s the youngest and needs attention once in a while. your words, not his.

now is one of those moments.

jihoon blinks, staring at the shoe box perched on the table before him. he looks at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you gesture at the shoe box in a flourish, widely grinning like a child who’s won candy. “ta-da!” you exclaim. seungcheol, who had been immersed with a mobile game, is now looking his way, curiously staring at the box. judging from his expression, he guesses he doesn’t know what the contents are, either.

“and what exactly am i looking at?” he asks.

“open it!” you exclaim.

he does as he’s told, lifting up the lid of the box. to his surprise, they’re a pair of black slide-ons. he remembers eyeing a pair a week ago at a mall he had gone to with you and soonyoung, but had dismissed the thought after seeing the number shopping bags soonyoung had on each arm. he isn’t sure if you remembered or if this is a mere coincidence. either way, he’s surprised you bought him a pair of shoes out of the blue.

“what!” seungcheol exclaims. he throws his phone onto the couch, the device bouncing on the cushions. he walks towards you, instantly wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “you bought shoes for hoonie, but not for me?”

you roll your eyes. “cheol, you’re the one giving people your credit card information. you’re quite capable of buying your own shoes... actually, you’d buy them, unprompted.”

“but it’s different when it’s a gift,” he whines. “i want you to buy me shoes, too.”

ignoring your whiny boyfriend, you gesture at the sandals. “i saw you looking at them when we were at the mall with soonyoung last week! i know you don’t have a lot of time to go shopping, so i bought them for you,” you explain.

jihoon frowns. he’s the one practically swimming in a pool of money, so he should be the one buying you nice things, not the other way around. “oh... you didn’t have to.”

when he looks up at you, he sees the excitement vanish from your face, being replaced with a pout. seeing you like that makes him wonder why he and seungcheol never try babying you, especially when you have the audacity to look as cute as you do now. “do you not like them? i can always return them and get you something else...”

he practically flies out of his seat, eyes wide. “no!” he blurts. you and seungcheol are startled by the sudden outburst, your eyes mirroring his. “i mean-” he clears his throat, “i like them, i really do. but i should be the one buying you things, not the other way around.”

thankfully, you smile. “don’t worry about it! a baby like you should be bought nice things, even if you probably have better versions of them,” you tease, blowing him an air kiss.

jihoon scoffs. "you know, now that i think about it, you always pay for my things even though you’re the, and i quote, broke college student. what’s up with that?”

“because babies shouldn’t be paying for things.” you size him up, feigning innocence. “are you even allowed to have a debit card?”

seungcheol snorts at your comment, stifling his laughter by burying his head in your shoulder. on the other hand, jihoon’s jaw drops in disbelief. “this is bullying!” he yells, exasperated. “i’m being bullied by my boyfriend. hyung, you can’t be siding with him.”

the older shrugs, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “when i do it, you always kick me, but you never do anything when it’s him. it’s so fun, seeing you get all flustered.”

he glares at you both. “i actually hate you two. especially you,” he seethes, pointing at you.

you lean over to whisper in seungcheol’s ear, but you’re side-eyeing him, obviously trying to get him to hear you. “has he been fed yet? you know babies get grouchy when they don’t have food in their system.”

“(name) (last name)!!”

seungcheol knows that like him, you’re usually the oldest in most situations. because of this, taking care of those around you has practically become second nature. making sure everyone around you is healthy and happy has become instinctive, and you’re willing to go through hoops and hurdles just to achieve that. it’s one of the many traits he loves about you.

he’s grateful to have you around to take care of him, but most importantly, he’s glad that there’s someone like you taking care of jihoon. sure, he whines about not being the center of your attention, but he knows that there are times when jihoon needs it more than he does. viewed as the genius producer and leader of the vocal unit of seventeen, there’s no doubt that the pressure he receives to repeatedly produce big hits is unimaginable. though it’s something that the two of them share in common, he knows he would never willingly open up about his thoughts, afraid of burdening the already stressed leader.

thankfully, there’s you, with a warm and loving aura encompassing you. you just have this aura that makes people want to lower their guard, even for those as whole and reserved as jihoon. it undoubtedly helps relieve the tension that the young producer has, even if he claims to hate it.

even if he knows this, though, that doesn’t stop him from wanting all of your attention. you’re the only person jihoon allows to pamper him (even if he denies it), so it’s not surprising that you take every opportunity you get to do so. while it’s fun to see him get riled up, seungcheol can’t help but act bratty when your attention isn’t on him.

on an exceptionally mundane day where the members of seventeen are lounging in the practice room, taking a break after excruciating hours of nonstop dancing, you knock on the door, arms loaded with bags of takeout. a few seconds later, the door swings open, and you’re standing in front of a sweaty chan. “oh, hyung! what brings you here?” he asks, surprised.

“hey chan,” you greet with a smile. he moves to the side, giving you space to enter the room. when you do, you’re greeted by twelve boys who seem equally sweaty and exhausted, who slur their greetings. “i was going to drop off some food for cheol and hoonie, but i figured you guys would be hungry,” you explained, gesturing towards the bags. from the way their eyes light up, you can tell they’re pleased with the surprise. “i have fried chicken, tteokbokki, japchae... just a bit of everything.”

immediately, the thirteen boys gather around you, salivating at the scent wafting out of the bags. “thank you hyung, you didn’t have to do that for us,” dokyeom smiles.

you shrug, seating yourself between seungcheol and jihoon. “it’s the least i could do, don’t worry about it. now eat up! you all are probably starving.”

another chorus of thanks echoes throughout the room, and soon, everyone begins to dig in. as you chat with the other members, catching up on each others’ lives and learning about comeback preparations, you suddenly feel someone pulling you up by the armpits before placing you down on their lap. startled, you crane your neck and see seungcheol, who responds by pecking your forehead. “what was that for?” mingyu asks from across you, voicing your question.

“you haven’t paid attention to me at all,” he murmurs.

you simply hum, leaning forward to stab a piece of fried chicken. you aim the fork at seungcheol’s mouth, who eagerly sweeps in and takes a bite. from the corner of your eye, you can see the other members eyeing you two with disgust. “sometimes i forget this is a three-way relationship, seeing how you both react so differently around (name)-hyung,” seungkwan snorts, scooping more japchae onto his plate. “why can’t you be more like jihoon-hyung? at least he doesn’t whine when (name)-hyung isn’t around every five minutes like you.”

you roll your eyes. “please. hoonie likes it when i baby him, too.” you send him a wink, to which he responds with by rolling his eyes.

“you’re talking nonsense.”

“don’t lie~” you coo, leaning over and ruffling his hair. “our cute baby hoonie~”

above you, seungcheol pouts, resting his chin on your head. “why don’t you ever treat me like that, (name)? this is unfair.”

you add more tteokbokki onto your plate. “it’s fun, seeing both of your reactions. hoonie’s more fun to tease, and it’s fun seeing you get all mopey.” he pouts, though he can’t refute your claims. jihoon does have funnier reactions than he does, and judging by both the amused and unimpressed looks the other members give him, he’s sure that he looks nothing short of glum.

“you know,” wonwoo begins, “i never would’ve imagined that jihoon would’ve gotten together with them. maybe with (name), but not with seungcheol-hyung. you both cling onto him more than to each other, anyways.”

“cheol here just comes to me more because he’s scared of hoonie,” you laugh, patting his thigh. “besides, they have each other when i’m not in the picture.”

“(name), you shouldn’t spoil cheollie so much. he’s already so bratty when you’re not here,” jeonghan sighs. “i’d love to see you tease jihoon more, though. you’re the only person who can get away with it unscathed, anyways.”

both seungcheol and jihoon darken in embarrassment. “shut it, yoon jeonghan,” they snap in unison.

when seungcheol and jihoon wake up one saturday morning, they don’t expect to be clinging onto each other in bed. they also don’t expect you to be awake already, seeing how you’re usually one of the last people to get up.

“where’s (name)?” jihoon groggily asks, scooting closer to an equally tired seungcheol. though he rarely lets seungcheol hold him, his need for warmth overpowers his disdain for skinship.

the older doesn’t seem to mind his sudden touchiness, wrapping an arm around him. “dunno,” he mumbles.

neither of them further questions your disappearance, cuddling closer to each other. they both begin to drift back asleep when the floorboards of the hallway creak, signalling a new presence. the bedroom dear squeaks open, so when they both turn to face the source, they see you tiptoeing your way in. “oh, morning guys,” you whisper, sheepishly smiling. “sorry for waking you two."

“it’s fine,” jihoon yawns, slowly sitting up. beside him, seungcheol turns to dig his face into his pillow, stretching his limbs. “why are you up so early? it’s-” he pauses to glance at the clock, which reads 11:30 am. “okay, maybe it’s not so early. but what are you doing up?”

you shrug. “cheol elbowed my face earlier, and i couldn’t fall back asleep again, so i decided to get out of bed.”

seungcheol turns around and looks at you with guilty eyes, sitting up. “sorry babe,” he apologizes. he grabs your arm and pulls you onto him. “is your pretty face okay?” he asks, rubbing your cheeks.

you thread your fingers through his hair, untangling the knots as jihoon rolls over. “why don’t you come back to bed and sleep some longer? i know how irritable you can get when you don’t get enough sleep.”

you shake your head at his offer. “it’s okay, but thanks.” you reposition yourself so you’re sandwiched between seungcheol and jihoon, which is when they notice the navy apron hanging around your neck. “i made food not long ago, it should be warm still. come eat with me.” you wriggle your way out of the human sandwich, standing up again. “get up, lazy bums!”

“kiss me first,” seungcheol jeers like the brat he is.

you lean in close until your breath fans his lips. when he looks like he’s going to reciprocate, you move your lips last minute and peck his forehead instead. “brush your teeth first, brat. your breath smells like ass.” before you leave, you swiftly move your head and place a kiss on jihoon’s cheek, running out of the bedroom before either of them can do anything about it.

half an hour later, jihoon steps out of the bedroom and trudges into the kitchen. seungcheol’s still in the bathroom washing up. when he rounds the corner, he nearly screams to see you so close to him. you take this opportunity to wrap your arms around him and lift him up, to which he responds with a yelp. “put me down!” he shrieks.

you pay no mind to his shrieking, walking towards the counter. you plop down on a stool and seat him on your lap. he’s still squirming, but your grip is tight, so his fidgeting proves futile. “good morning, my baby~”

for someone who claims to hate the nickname, he always flushes a pretty red when you or seungcheol use it. even after getting together, he still isn’t used to it. “how many times do i have to tell you to not call me a baby? i’m only a year younger than you.”

“then what should i call you then?” you pucker your lips, which are met with jihoon’s palm. “my liege? my love? which do you prefer?” you flirt.

his blush darkens, and he can only look away in embarrassment. “shut up.”

your laugh is so loud it hurts his ears, but it’s endearing and true, something he never gets tired of listening to. “our baby is so cute when he’s flustered~”

“is today a bully seungcheol or a bully jihoon day, i wonder?” a voice in front of you asks. he cranes his neck as much as he can and sees seungcheol pouting in front of you two, bangs wet. “do i not get this treatment because i’m the oldest?

you stick your tongue out at him before flicking his forehead. “come on, let’s eat! you two took forever.” fortunately, seungcheol pulls out a stool for jihoon to sit on, so he’s all too eager to hop away from your clutches.

you’re sitting across from the duo, who are seated beside each other. the kitchen is mostly silent, save for the clinking of utensils. it isn’t when seungcheol takes a bite from an egg that you notice a band-aid plastered near his chin. “did you hurt yourself?” you ask, aiming your fork at his wound.

he absentmindedly runs a finger against the band-aid. “oh, this? i was shaving earlier and accidentally cut myself,” he explains. he gauges your reaction, from your furrowed eyebrows to worried eyes. just then, he lets out a cry, startling you and jihoon. “oh (name), it hurts~”

you laugh at his silliness, while jihoon snorts. “you’re so embarrassing. gosh (name), this is what happens when you spoil him too much. one single mishap and he comes running to you with fake tears. look at the monster you’ve created.”

you glance at seungcheol, and the mischievous smirk on your lips only spells for disaster. “cheol-ah, you were just fine a moment ago. i think you’re strong enough to handle a tiny cut, aren’t you?”

normally he would never allow for someone to question his strength, but when it comes to you, all he wants is your pampering, even if he makes himself look like a fool in the process. “don’t tease me, (name)~ don’t take jeonghan’s words so seriously!”

you laugh, recalling your friend’s words. you love to indulge your boyfriends, though teasing them is also fun, too. you used to only tease jihoon with your sickening babying, but seeing how seungcheol whines only fuels your mischievous nature. “i think you can handle it, cheol.” changing the topic, you smile at jihoon. “how’s the food? i think i did a good job for someone with abysmal cooking skills.”

“babe~” he whines.

“the food’s good, although your chopping skills could use some work,” jihoon comments, poking at an unevenly cut tomato.

you snort. “i’m cooking for you guys, not gordon ramsay. as long as it tastes good, it should be fine.”

“this is bullying.”

you turn to face seungcheol, who’s still pouting. “why don’t you ask hoonie?”

“because he’s going to say no. or worse, he’ll kick my shins.”

you laugh, getting up to refill your water. before you enter the kitchen, you cup seungcheol’s face and press a chaste kiss on his band-aid. “there. happy?”

the dopey, lovesick look he gives you is answer enough, and as confident and nonchalant as you are when it comes to flirting, you can feel butterflies swarming in your stomach. it never gets less exhilarating, knowing you have him wrapped around your finger. “suddenly, my cut doesn’t hurt anymore.”

jihoon gags. “disgusting.”

“you like it when we’re disgusting,” you mumble, pressing a kiss on his hair. before he can react, you swoop down and squish his cheeks, leaning in to press your lips together. he makes a disgruntled noise, though he doesn’t make any attempts to pry your hands off or to move away. when you pull away, a satisfied smile rests on your lips. “see? i knew you liked it when i babied you.”

you move your hands away from his face and lay them atop his hair. on the other hand, seungcheol squishes your cheeks together and begins peppering kisses on your face, drawing out little giggles from you. below you, jihoon frowns, folding his arms. “you’re so annoying. i could step on your toes if i wanted to.”

“if you wanted to,” you reiterate, turning your head so seungcheol doesn’t muffle your words with his lips. “key word is if, my dear. you would never actually hurt me, our cute baby.”

seungcheol relinquishes his attacks, sitting back onto the stool. “i wonder what would happen if i called him that?” he wonders out loud. suddenly, he squishes jihoon’s cheek, mirroring the fond look you always give them. “our cute baby jihoonie~”

right when he does this, seungcheol decides then that is the first and last time he’ll ever try to baby jihoon again - at least, if he wants to stay unharmed. pampering is more of your forte, anyways.

#seventeen #seventeen hip hop unit #seventeen vocal unit #kpop #seventeen x reader #seventeen x male reader #s.coups #choi seungcheol #woozi #lee jihoon #jicheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x male reader #woozi x reader #woozi x male reader #renjuseyo : seventeen #renjuseyo : fics

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acourtofsnakes · 3 years

Text

Haalur - Rogue, Chapter 17| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

Summary: Din begins the frantic race for your life, desperate not to lose you.

Warnings: Swearing, injury, drowning, talks of death, brief mention of suicide, angst, fluff

AN: The good times start from here, folks. I’ve put you all through enough ♥︎

AN: I highly recommend listening to Bruises by Lewis Capaldi for this chapter for the vibes 🖤

Credit to whoever owns the gif 🖤

Word count: 5.5k +

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey @what-iwish-you-knew @queenofthefaceless @rosiefridayrogersunday @greeneyedblondie44 @itsnottilly @welcometothepedroverse

Mando’a Translation: Haalur - Breathe

As soon as you were sucked into the water, Din felt a terror so potent that he was sure he had just died. It gripped his heart, pulverising it in his chest and making it hard to think, breathe or even see.

He was rigid, unable to comprehend what was happening, before Grogu’s repeated warning cry jolted him awake.

Din hesitated no longer.

He sprinted across the surface of the lake, going too fast to worry about the huge cracks forming under his feet.

The stretch to where you had fallen seemed like miles, like you were getting further and further away despite the closing distance.

By the time he made it, the hole had already begun to freeze back over, and Din frantically smashed at it with the heel of his boot. He couldn’t risk shooting at it, in case he caught you in the firing line.

With a suitable hole made, he turned on the flashlight on his helmet, sucked in a deep breath, and then dived straight in.

Immediately, the sub-zero temperature of the water gripped his ribs like a vice, a cold so intense it felt like his bones would snap under the force of it.

Glacial water immediately gushed in under his helmet, choking him with the bitter taste, burning his eyes and rendering him blind for a moment.

He choked, thrashing around for a moment as he struggled to breathe.

“Calm down.” He snapped at himself, “Stop panicking. Breathe. This isn’t about you.”

Saving you, that’s all that mattered.

Din allowed his body to relax, to will his heart to slow down.

He moved his head around, searching the cloudy, pitch-black depths for any trace of you.

The weight of your clothes and the force of your drop would have sucked you down quickly, and Din felt the clock begin to tick down, the timer of your life being thrust into his hands.

He shifted his body around, using the ice above his head to push himself down and begin to swim for you.

It was just so dark down here, like he’d gone through the ice and emerged up into space, blindly navigating the cloudy abyss whilst searching for the one person he wanted to give everything to.

Panic and terror fuelled his strokes, the weight of his armour aided him in sinking deeper.

It might have been hours; it may only have been seconds.

Din’s lungs burned, and his head throbbed with the pressure of the arctic water.

Every pound of his heart reminded him that your own may have stopped -

There!

Sinking slowly to the bottom of the water, looking like you were plucked straight from the stories the elders used to tell him, there you were.

Eyes closed and lashes brushing your cheekbones… like this, in the dim light from his helmet, you could simply be asleep.

He nearly sobbed in relief, scrabbling in the water and he tugged you gently to his body, holding you against him and he started to kick toward the surface.

But it was harder, more of an effort this time.

He was graceful on land, able to move with the ease of a shadow even with the armour but underwater, his beloved protective shell made him cumbersome, the weight combining with your limp body threatening to drag him down.

He kicked his legs harder, keeping his head focused on the ice above. He was desperate to open his mouth, to suck in air, even though it would only be a mouthful of bitter, icy water.

Din didn’t have the time to worry about his own rapidly clouding vision.

Your clock was nearing its end, the thread of your life fraying and unwinding from his own.

Just when he thought he might simply pass out, that the pair of you would sink back down, maybe be devoured by the creatures that he had luckily avoided so far, he saw it. The opening.

Though it had begun to freeze, it was just visible with the strange light filtering through. He fumbled for his blaster, shielding your head and he shot at the ice, quickly rushing up to the gap it opened.

He hauled himself up, depositing you gently onto the side of the ice and then he dragged himself over the edge, sodden fingers scrabbling on the ice as he collapsed next to you.

Din sucked in a few deep breaths for a moment, coughing and spluttering but then he turned his attention back to you.

He rolled you gently on your back, and his heart constricted at what he saw.

Your lips were already a purple-blue colour, like a bruise. The water on your skin had already frosted over, giving you the appearance of being encased. Your hair crackled as it froze together in matted knots and you just looked… well, dead.

He fumbled with his gloves, willing his numb fingers to cooperate and he eventually yanked them off, pressing them against the soft, cold skin of your neck.

Nothing.

Din blinked a few times.

That’s not possible… You’re just unconscious, you’re just… you’re not-

He shook his hands out, trying to get the blood flowing in them again, that’s all it was. His hands were too cold.

He pressed them to your neck again, but… your pulse that usually beat so strongly, so familiarly… it wasn’t there.

You were dead.

“No, no, no, no, no-“ He burst into a frenzy, ripping your cloak out of the way and he begun to do compressions on your chest, remembering the movement from battles far and wide. When all the tech failed, when the sprays and med-kits didn’t work, this was the last resort. Manually encouraging a heart to begin to beat again.

But what if it didn’t want to?

No.

He couldn’t think like that.

He kept the compressions in time with the counting in his head, pausing every now and then to pinch your nose shut and blow air into your lungs.

Except the more he did, the more he heard the bubbly sound of the air hitting water.

Your lungs…you must have somehow swallowed the icy water, which was stopping you from being able to breathe.

“Okay, okay... lift her up. Get rid of the water.” He whispered the instructions to himself, and then followed them.

He braced your chest against his arm, leaning you forward so your head was tilted and then he delivered a harsh smack between your shoulder blades.

The movement jolted your body but did nothing to remove the water.

So, he tried again, and then again harder.

He heard it shift, and a small trickle of water just slightly dripped form your lips, so he began a frantic routine of compressions, mouth-to-mouth and then smacking the water from your lungs.

It might have been hours, or only minutes, but his instinct was telling him what his heart couldn’t bear to acknowledge.

It wasn’t working.

He couldn’t lose you.

He just couldn’t.

You were everything he needed, every single possible thing. You both slotted together, the cracks and dents in your souls fitting and securing each other.

This couldn’t be it.

The relentless hand of the clock was slowing, each tick becoming heavy and tolling, taunting him.

Din sobbed, gripping you against his chest, rocking from side to side, “You can’t leave me. You can’t do this.” The tears that slid down his cheeks were hot, almost stinging against is frigid skin, “You promised me you wouldn’t leave me. It was supposed to be me, you and the kids remember? A clan of three. Clans don’t just leave each other.” He rested the forehead of his helmet on the top of your head, his chest aching, everything in him just hurting as he held the dead weight of you against his body.

Grogu’s sniffling sobs, and Duru’s broken yowling provided the only other noise in this barren, frozen land of death. A heartbreaking symphony to the scene unfolding.

Over and over, Din mumbled to you, “You promised, you promised, you promised-“

How could you do this to him? How could he have let you be ripped out from under him?

He was going to do it. He was going to tell you how he felt when you’d left this planet.

It was all planned in his head, exactly what he wanted to say.

He’d even splashed out some extra credits and bought the sweet treats you loved, storing them safely away so they’d stay fresh.

He didn’t even get to show you his true face…

A frustrated, desperate growl slipped from his clenched jaw, and he braced you over his arm again, delivering one final blow to the middle of your back that he knew would leave a bruise, that even stung his hand.

Silence.

Din closed his eyes, feeling his entire being split in two, everything he had built and hoped for shatter in front of him like the ice that had stolen you.

What was he supposed to do now?

The clock had stopped ticking.

~~~

You were floating.

It was quiet here, peaceful.

There wasn’t a darkness, so much as an absence of light and… things. It wasn’t warm and it wasn’t cold… and there was noise yet… silence, all at the same time.

You don’t know how long you floated for, just being at peace, but you felt a warm breeze wash over your face, smelling of flowers and something sweet.

It was a smell from your childhood, one you hadn’t been near in… too long.

Your mother.

“Hello, my sweet darling.”

“Hello, mama… I’ve missed you so much...”

“I know, my dear. We’ve missed you too. We’ve always been watching… So, so proud of you.”

“Proud of me? Mama, how can you be proud of me? The things I’ve done… the people I’ve hurt... you didn’t raise me to hurt people, mama. You shouldn’t be proud.”

A new scent suddenly appeared, rich, earthy and a little spicy almost, “We raised you to take care of yourself, starlight. However, you need to. You’ve grown, sweetheart. You’re a warrior.”

“But papa… I don’t want to keep hurting people. I… I hurt people every day by lying to them. By putting them in danger-” You felt your throat close, tears springing to your eyes even though you were both everything and also nothing in this floating world.

You felt a phantom caress over the top of your head, the same feeling you used to have when your father brushed back your hair, “My sweet starlight, you do not bring danger to people. You are a joy to them; you help them see the world through a different set of eyes. Through eyes that see wonder and beauty even in the darkest of places.”

You felt the brush of your mother, stroking her fingers on the back of your cheek, “You have always been such a wonder, darling. You feel everything so intensely. Such happiness that shines from you like sunlight, sadness that drowns you like a wave, anger that burns as fierce as the brightest flame in the darkest night… I know it’s hard sometimes, sweetheart, I know that sometimes you want to give up… But there are people that need you.”

Your heart ached in your chest, feeling both heavy and light, “But… I can’t help but feel…”

You might have seen your mother smile in the darkness, her head resting on your father’s shoulder, “You feel that you are a burden… Darling, you’re not. I assure you. People need you in their life… The Mandalorian needs you...”

That surprised you. “Din… needs me?”

A gentle, rough chuckle that belonged to your father, “Of course, starlight. He needs you far more than you know. Do not let go of him… The threads of your life are so tightly entwined... you have belonged to each other since the Maker and the stars decided it.”

“Okay…”

“It’s time to wake up now, sweetheart…” Your mother’s voice was sweet, fading a little.

“Can’t I stay here with you and papa? It’s been so long…”

Your father’s voice faded as well, “I know, starlight… But we’ll see you again. There are other people that need you more now… We love you, starlight..”

“I love you too, mama, and you too, papa..”

“Goodbye, my love...”

~~~

Awareness came rushing back to you with complete and utter sheer intensity.

The biting cold wind, the ice beneath your limp body.

You could hear frantic sobs, mumbling in a familiar deep baritone, “Haalur, haalur, haalur, haalur. Come on, princess, please… Please. You promised me.” The voice was tight, leashed emotion barely restrained.

There was a sharp thud on your back, and then another, right between your shoulder blades.

Something inside your lungs shifted, and then exploded as you erupted into deep coughing, choking up the bitter water.

That power inside you seemed to me forcing the water up as well, pushing it up out of your chest, aiding in helping you breathe.

It came pouring out of you, coming out of your mouth and your nose in a vast torrent, choking you and burning like fire despite how cold it was.

Dimly, you heard a strangled noise of relief, “Oh.” And arm leaning you even further forward, supporting your body and rubbing your back, over the bruise already forming, “Easy, princess…”

Everything hurt.

But it wasn’t “I’ve just been punched whilst fighting for my life” sort of hurt.

This was… so much deeper than that.

This kind of pain lived in every weak thud of your heart.

The frantic shivering of your body only jolted each broken part, but you couldn’t stop shaking. You were just so cold.

It ravaged your lungs raw with each gasping breath, but you were unable to slow it down, because you needed the oxygen now that you had emptied half of the lake from your body.

You needed more.

There simply wasn’t enough, you were drowning again, sucked under into that deep abyss and trapped beneath the surface, your lungs filling up and freezing –

“Easy, easy, darling.” A hand rubbed your back, coaxing your airways to open up, “I’ve got you. You’re safe now… Haalur…”

Of course, it was Din… who else would dive headfirst into a frozen lake to save you.

You became aware of his arms, one supporting your chest to lean your limp body forward, and the other across your back. His hand continued to rub soothing circles on your back, mumbling, “Haalur…” softly, over and over. You had a feeling he wasn’t just doing it for you, but for himself as well, like he was using the rhythmic motions to hold back some kind of flood of emotion.

You forced your sluggish brain to focus on the parts of him you could feel, your eyes still a little too blurry and just… so heavy. You were so tired. And so damn cold.

You tried to speak, to ask him if he was okay, but your aching throat cracked and gave out on the first syllable of his name. A soft whimper escaped your lips, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks and you tapped at his hand.

Din understood, because he gently eased his arm under your legs, scooping you up into his arms and keeping both sodden capes around you. “I’ve got you, it’s okay.” His voice sounded all funny, all bubbly and full of static, presumably from the water.

Guilt wracked through your body, and you tilted your head up to look at his helmet. You wanted to touch it, but your arms felt too heavy to move. You swallowed, managing to barely croak, “Y-your helmet…”

Din shook his head slightly, whistling for Duru and Grogu and he began to carefully and quickly make his way across the lake toward the bank, “Don’t worry about it.”

Ice sparkled on your lashes as you blinked, dancing across your vision like little sprites lulling you to sleep, “But...”

Din shook his head harder, helmet focused forward, not looking at you, “Helmets can be fixed. You cannot.” Below the static, his voice was hoarse, from the crying you’d heard before you fully came back to yourself.

But… there was something else. An underlying note of… anger?

You decided to keep silent.

The gentle sway of Din’s body didn’t help the internal struggle you were having not to fall asleep.

With his footsteps as a steady ambience, you allowed yourself to succumb to the darkness, where there was no pain. Only peace and the scent of leather, metal and something woodsy that was distinctly him.

“Cyar'ika?”

That familiar voice was reaching through the darkness again, pulling you back toward the surface.

“Hey, open your eyes…”

A gentle tap against your face tugged you upward, and you struggled through the veil for a moment before it all came rushing back in at once.

The fuzziness cleared and you saw that Din was looking down at you, the planet too dark to allow you to see your refection in his visor.

His shoulders seemed to slump in relief when he saw you awake, and he looked away quickly. He fiddled with something and then you heard the ramp open, “Keep your eyes open.” There was a trace of command in his voice, enough that it riled you just a little.

You had just died after all.

“Why? I’m freezing and I’m tired.” Your voice was still hoarse, but the rest he had dragged you out of seemed to have helped.

Din walked up the ramp, closing it behind him, “Because I don’t want you dying on me again. That’s why.” His voice was thick, a little ragged. He propped you up on a low crate, leaning your back against the wall of the Crest. He reached into a box, and then removed the two sodden cloaks, and replaced it with a thick, dry blanket.

Duru jumped up opposite, with Grogu in her mouth and pair watched you with large, worried eyes.

The warmth surrounded you, making you audibly sigh in relief and it perked you up just a little, despite the shivers that still wracked your body – and the strange atmosphere coming off of Din. You tugged the blanket a little higher, leaning into the wall.

Little did you know, now that you were… somewhat okay, his fear had turned into absolute seething frustration. Not directly at you, more the situation.

You watched silently as he rummaged in the med-kit for something, the line of his shoulders taut beneath the frosty armour that was slowly beginning to thaw.

Din turned to face you, holding a bacta-injection in his hands, “Show me.” He motioned to your side, where Haran had driven his lightsaber through you.

A slightly hysterical laugh bubbled out of your chest, “You’re kidding, right? There is no way you’re coming near me with that.” You would have crossed your arms, if you’d had the energy. But you didn’t, so you settled for raising your eyebrows at him in a disbelieving manner.

He walked over to you, stopping in front of you. “I need to make sure it isn’t infected. I know it’s already cauterised but who knows what you picked up in that lake. Show me.” His voice was firm, no room for argument.

You swallowed, watching the frost on his armour melt and roll down the armour in rivulets. “We might need it some other time. It’s expensive… I don’t need it. I’m fine. Truly.” You shivered again, a wave of cold washing over your body as water ran off of your hair and down your back.

Din sighed, “You’ll face off against a creature four times the size of you, but you won’t face one tiny injection?” That strange, clipped tone was back in his voice and you started to realise he might be mad at you.

Still avoiding his stare, you nodded once, still watching those water droplets.

Din muttered something you didn’t hear from the static in the modulator and made as if to turn around.

You relaxed, closing your eyes but then suddenly, you felt a sharp stinging just under your ribs and then a push of liquid being forced into your body.

That bastard!

A snarl worked its way up from your chest and your eyes snapped open. “Hey!” You glared at him, eyes spitting fire and a little hurt, “What the hell did you do that for! I said no!”

Din growled himself, pointing a finger in your direction, “You don’t get to make the decisions tonight. I do.” He threw the empty syringe to the side, and then scooped you back into his arms.

Struggling slightly, you made a noise of dissent, “So, you’re going to lock me up somewhere now, are you?”

He practically stomped through the levels of the ship, making his way to the living area, “No.” He walked down the hall and opened the door to the ‘fresher, “I’m warming you up considering you’re still shivering so hard I can hear your teeth grinding.” He swiped the small collection of cleaning supplies off of the ledge, and then set you down inside, leaning you against the wall and the small ledge.

Okay, so he had a point there.

But that didn’t mean he had to be so… Din about it.

“I can get myself in here you know.”

Din turned his attention to the taps, “Mmhm. I’ll believe you when you can take off your tunic.”

Your cheeks coloured just slightly at that, but ever the stubborn one, you reached down and fumbled with the ties that held the outer tunic together.

It was just a simple knot holding the lacing together, but your hands were still numb and uncooperative, and you couldn’t gather the strength to grip the string.

You clenched your jaw, knowing Din was watching you and you absolutely hated it when he was right.

Almost as much as you hated being this weak and helpless.

Gloved hands gently pushed yours out of the way, and within seconds, he had freed the laces and tugged the tunic off of your body, leaving you in the long-sleeved undershirt. He threw it out of the shower with a wet thump, “You were saying?” He fiddled with the taps again, and then warm water cascaded down over your body.

Despite Din’s frustration with you, you sighed in delight. The water probably wasn’t even that warm in reality, but compared to your icy body, it felt like absolute heaven.

After a few moments, you couldn’t bear the tense silence.

Peering at Din, you saw that he was leaning against the wall watching you, overly tense and you realised he was trying to hide the fact he was shivering himself. The armour would have been like cubes of ice on his body, trapping the cold in the damp underclothes that clung to his skin.

You cocked your head, feeling coming back into your body now, “You should be in here too… You must be as cold as I am.”

He shook his head, “I’ll wait.”

Stubborn.

“Din, you and I know both know the hot water won’t last. Stop being a stubborn ass and get in here.” You pointedly closed your eyes, to show you wouldn’t look.

You heard him hesitate, but a few seconds later, you heard the sounds of metal on the floor as he shed his armour, and then felt his presence as he stepped in with you.

A soft sigh escaped his lips, and you couldn’t help the smile that just tugged at your lips, “See, I told you.”

Din snarled again, very quietly, “Shut up.”

Surprise filtered across your expression, making you raise your eyebrows, “Excuse m-“

“I said, shut up. You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to make jokes after what just happened. Not this time.” There was something behind his words, the sense of that breakdown that he had been holding back on the ice.

But still, how was this your fault? “Why am I getting the blame? What could I possibly have done wrong? I didn’t ask to be stabbed with a lightsaber, or fucking drown! If you have a problem, go and sort it out with Rena, Haran – whatever the fuck his name is. Not me!”

Din laughed, but it was cold, almost somewhat hysterical, “Oh don’t worry, princess. I plan to.” He moved closer to you, creating a darker shadow across your darkened eyelids. “But I am mad at you. I am… furious with you.” He stopped just in front of you, the slight raggedness of his breathing audible, “I warned you not to call him, or get involved with him. And you didn’t listen to me.”

You opened your mouth in protest but felt his bare finger press against your lips.

“No.” There was that tone from that night, in the kitchen when it was all command and pent-up emotion. “You talk when I say.” He removed his finger, but stayed close, “You went ahead and called him anyway. I don’t know why, and I’m not going to ask, but how could you not think something would happen? All I knew, was being in this damn shower, and then everything exploded. I felt the Crest go down, I heard you scream. By the time I got my armour back on and got out of here, I didn’t even know which way was up. I couldn’t get to you.”

His words were slowly getting a little quicker, and it floored you because in the entire time you had known him… this was the most he had ever spoken.

That was the only reason you bit back your retorts and stayed silent.

You heard him suck in another breath, “When I woke up, I searched this whole ship, this whole fucking ship three times over. I couldn’t find you, or Grogu, or even Duru. You were all just… gone. I didn’t know if any of you were alive, if you’d been hurt, if you were stuck somewhere, if someone had taken you.

I went out straight away, and all I could think was… what if I couldn’t get to you in time?” His voice was choked a little, still mixed with frustration and you heard him pace across the tiny area of the refresher. This had really shaken him, allowed him to feel a fear so potent he didn’t think it was possible.

If you opened your eyes, he would still have his helmet on, but you would see the rapid rise and fall of his armourless chest, see the way he held his body, like he was preparing for battle as all of these emotions and words tore out of him, like he could no longer stop them.

The water still poured down over the pair of you as all of this emotion cascaded out of him, “When I saw your arrows on the floor and the dead Trooper, I knew you were alive.” He paused for a breath, or maybe to try and stop his outpouring?

Either way, you took the advantage, “How? How could you know I’m alive just from arrows and a dead Stormtrooper?”

You felt him look at you, his voice softening for a moment and sounding sort of… proud? “Because if you were killed, there would have been a hell of a lot more mess. You wouldn’t have gone down without a fight. It was too clean, so I knew you were hurt. And then… Then I felt it. A pull toward you. I ran, so hard, so fast and when I saw you, trapped on that lake-” He cut off with a soft noise, “My entire world stopped. He had you. He had you there and I couldn’t do anything to stop It without risking you or the kid. And I shouldn’t have hesitated like I did, I shouldn’t have sat there and let him dictate his terms. I should have just killed him as soon as I saw you and none of this would have happened.”

He was starting to spiral into guilt, you could feel it, and it physically pained you to hear him blame himself, “Din, stop. Please. None of this was your fault, none of it at all.”

“No! It is my fault!” His cry was so different to his usual lower baritone, that for a moment you thought he was someone different. “The only reason you went to him, is because I haven’t made you comfortable enough to trust me. To trust me with… whatever it is you went to him for.”

He carried on too quickly for you to register where he was going with that. “You were kidnapped by him, because of me. He hurt you, and did Maker knows what to you, because I couldn’t protect you. You went into that lake, you nearly died… because of me.” His voice cracked on the word ‘died’ and broke to a whisper at the end.

It tore straight through you, and you pushed off from the wall, stumbling the few steps to him blindly and you rested your hands up onto his helmet, “Din…”

His hands flew up, grasping your wrists by instinct but then they softened, holding them gently, “Please don’t tell me otherwise.” You could barely hear him over the sound of the water.

Ignoring him anyway, you forged on, willing him to understand with your words since you couldn’t let him read your eyes, “None of this was because of you. You have made me feel comfortable and safer than I ever have before, in my entire life. I trust you, completely. What happened to me, today, it was my fault. My foolishness, so please, please stop blaming yourself.”

It was like Din didn’t even hear you, like your words floated in one side of his helmet and dropped out the other, “Do you know what I would have done? If I hadn’t been able to save you on the ice?”

Tightness gripped your heart, and you shook your head, “Don’t.”

He grasped your wrists a little tighter, “I would have hunted Haran down and killed him and then I would have taken Grogu and Duru to Peli. And given her the Crest, she’d look after it. Or sell it for parts. Either way, it would have been in good hands. And then I would have lain you to rest, somewhere beautiful and peaceful, like you always talked about.”

You tried to pull your hands away, but he held fast to you, gently, “Din, stop. Please don’t say it, please-“

“And then I would have laid down next you, taken off all my armour and I would have driven a blade into my own heart.”

A hard flinch ran across your body, and you shook your head fiercely even though the action made your head swim, “Don’t you dare say that again. I don’t even want to think about you doing that, Din. Why would you even do that? Why wouldn’t you just live out the rest of your life in peace? Go to that Sanctuary planet you talked about and be free? Don’t throw away everything you’ve been through because of my own stupidity.” You yanked your arms free, backing up a few steps and stumbling up against the wall again.

The shadows shifted and you knew Din was following you forward, “Because I would have failed you. I do not deserve to live after it’s my fault you died. Grogu shouldn’t be brought up by someone who can’t save the people he lo – cares about.”

You made a noise of frustration, turning away so your back was to him, opening your eyes and you glared at the wall, tears stinging your eyes, “Just stop!! I don’t deserve that! How can you talk so easily of throwing your life away for someone like me! Just stop, Din – it’s ridiculous.”

Even though your parents words echoed in your mind, you just… couldn’t believe them.

Din’s hands rested on your shoulders, “It’s not ridiculous, cyar'ika. It’s the truth.” He said it so simply, so easily and that just made you even more frustrated.

“No!” You shook your shoulders, ignoring the bolt of paint hat ran through your side, “It’s not the truth. You can’t just leave the kids without a father; you can’t just lay down and die just because I’m not here. I don’t mean that much to you, Din, honestly. I’m a pain. All I’ve done since I came here is cause you more grief. So, if you say one more time that you’ll die for me, I’ll – I’ll..”

“You’ll what?”

You swallowed, a tear rolling down your cheek, “I’ll leave.” The words stung, low words that hit below the belt, but Din had to understand. “You have to understand, Din. I am not worth that.”

He remained close but didn’t touch you. His words were in that rumbly baritone again, the one that shot straight through you, “You have to understand, princess, that I can’t stand here and listen to you talk about yourself like that. You are worth everything. All of this, all these people after us, the old and the new, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t care.”

You groaned, raking your fingers through your knotted hair in frustration, “You’re not listening to me!!”

Din’s voice rose, equally as riled up again, “No, you’re not listening to me! I’m trying to tell you what I’ve been thinking about for… fuck, for months. And you’re not hearing it, you’re not listening to what I’m saying!! Just like always.”

Without thinking, you spun round, eyes blazing, and you waved your hands in the air, even if it did make the floor feel like it was swaying, “Then what do you have to say, Din? What are you so desperately trying to tell me? Huh?”

Din didn’t react to you seeing him in his helmet and black underclothes. It was like he didn’t care.

His hands were shaking at his sides, curling and uncurling into fists, “I’m trying to say that – that I..”

You rose your eyebrows, “Well? Come on, spit it out if it’s bothering you so much that I won’t understand. The floors all yours, Din. You have something to say-”

Before you’d even finished speaking, he cut you off, shouting above you and the water,

“I love you.”

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