#i write therefore i am
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"The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
-Mark Twain
#monday motivation#i write therefore i am#writeblr#mark twain#quote#writing#writing advice#writing quotes#writing tips#writing resources
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Okay, here we go. Long post warning.
I’ve been working on the Danny Phantom thing. A series, if you will. There will be at least twenty works in this series (haven’t pinned down an exact number yet) and so at least twenty fandoms alongside DP.
The first work in this series will not be a crossover, but a setup into the coming crossovers.
The next few works will be part of my Linear Timeline. Basically, any fandom I think I can fit into one universe, will be in this one universe.
Once I’ve completed the Voltron Legendary Defender crossover, I will start my next timeline: Portal Hopping.
Obvious title is obvious, but this arc will be every other fandom I want him to experience. I’m still shuffling that one around, but I’ve managed to narrow it down to before or after a set of stories.
(After means he has some scars to hide. Well, more scars.)
The last work in this series, I’m debating. This is where you guys come in.
If I end this as DPxDC, the end will make you cry.
If I end this as just DP, I will still make you cry, but maybe they’ll be happy tears.
So:
#i write therefore i am#danny phantom#DPxdc#batman#and any other fandoms I find but just these for now#dp crossover verse
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I sat down and finished my outline for the rhetorical analysis paper I have next week. It’s for an MLK speech. “The Other America”. Highly recommend if you haven’t read it. 11 pages. The damned outline is 11 pages long. After I turned it in my first thought was “why the FUCK am I like this?” It’s Comp 1. 11 pages of outline is ridiculous. I read that speech so many times. I thought about the intent and the tone and the psychology. For a beginner class. Why am I so godamned extra about everything? Too many thoughts. Too big feelings. And then it occurred to me. It was always supposed to be this. Sitting in front of an open book. Thoughts coalescing into action, into words, into MEANING. I was always meant to find truth and parse paragraphs and dig into the meat of things. That’s what my brain does. With everything. All the time. Holy shit. I can do this.
#late in life academia#i write therefore i am#I don’t know how to be anything but extra#I just like reading ok?#like a lot#a lot a lot#and then breaking it all down into little bits
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🌕 Full moon - Do you write symbolism into your story? What does it represent?
Good question. I don't think about that or anything that's technical when writing, just like in drawing. I have professor that gave us a checklist of things our pieces should probably have, I never followed it or looked at it (for better or worse).
The answer is: Yes- Maybe. I feel like I can never really wrap my head around symbolism, just one of those things. All of my writing has word play: Comparing characters to other things, places to concepts, etc. I guess somewhere along the line they start falling into symbolism.
Usually it's something surrounding a character. What they've done, what they are, what happened to them, what's going to happen. Something I enjoy doing is messing with pronouns, switching from the usually pronouns to talking about the character like an animal or something inhuman. Call them an It when the world, people or even themselves stop seeing them as a person. Take some examples I have in stories!
"The mask he dons carries hundreds of tallies sharpied and carved into it, on both sides. Even still…there wasn't enough space for all of them." - Referring to all the people the character has killed, all those allies he's lost, and how it weighs on him.
"The counsel sat upon thrones of stupidity and took a jester's words as gospel." - The counsel is the military who set my character on a mission that's below him. Despite how danger he is, they decided or took some fools opinion that it was fine to do.
"One hundred and thirty seven lives were stolen to create a monster. Until the beast's rein pulls taut, retributions shall be paid in blood." - Same story as the quote above. My character being described as a beast and a monster.
I think those are symbolism? Don't know!
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Fic Analysis: Found in the Crack of Your Palm
Disclaimer: This analysis will contain SPOILERS. I encourage you to read the one-shot first before reading this post.
Read the fanfic here, and don't forget to leave kudos and comments to the author, @the-furthest-city-light! It's a very good time, to the point of inspiring me into writing ovo
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The main draw that I had with this fanfic in the first place is that it characterizes Luffy as demisexual. His and Zoro's relationship is cleverly paced and built up from their small, bite-sized scenarios that capture the slow but eventual realization and admittance of his romantic feelings to Zoro.
While the one-shot is divided in several different scenes spanning many settings, The scenes in the crow’s nest with Luffy and Zoro are the most vital scenes of the fanfic. We see that throughout the story, only these two characters are shown to frequent the crow's nest. It's also the only place in the story where Zoro and Luffy allow for their vulnerability and openness to shine through, making this the location of Luffy's "checkpoint" where he reflects on his feelings and overall progress of his relationship with Zoro.
Being unaware of his feelings
When first introduced to the crow’s nest, Luffy at this point has made small notices that he’s been paying attention to Zoro in a way he’s not done with another person. In the scene before, Luffy was focused on Zoro’s physical features for the first time and he notes that it bubbles up a strange reaction inside of him.
... Zoro lying against the mast, the tender underbelly of him exposed. It does weird things to Luffy’s chest, makes his skin feel tight. His palms tingle, an itch beneath his skin to – to –
Luffy stops his line of thinking by engaging in usual Luffy shenanigans (shooting a fish with a canon) to distract himself. Going back to Luffy and Zoro's scene in the crow’s nest, Luffy also catches the way the moon illuminates and paints Zoro’s features. Both of these scenarios points the start of his interest in Zoro. However, he too unaware of this behaviour to notice a shift within himself, and easily gives in to distractions. After staring at Zoro and taking in the night sky, Luffy comments,
“It’s pretty”, Luffy says when he’s done looking at the stars
But for someone who was just done looking at the stars, he’s paying an awful amount of more attention and focus on the way Zoro looks. Zoro’s features were intentionally described in more length, indicative of the amount of attention that Luffy was giving to them. By comparison, there was not a single description of the star’s beauty in the night sky. This made me believe that Luffy was unaware about how he’s using the stars as a cover for the feelings that he has not (for now) discovered. Luffy no doubt finds the stars to be beautiful, but he does not realize that he's not quite referring to the stars, but to Zoro. Checkpoint one in Luffy's relationship with Zoro displays that he's started to notice things about Zoro, something that he does not do for others.
Two crucial moments and the slow realization
By the second time we are privy to the events in the crow’s nest, Luffy had experienced two big events that caused a turning point with his development and realization about his feelings: the battle at Whiskey Peak, and the Battle with the Marines. Both of these scenarios forced Luffy to realize that he likes Zoro differently from how he likes his other close friends and family, putting him a step closer to finding out that his feelings may not be entirely platonic. I want to discuss each turning point in great detail because they provide the push Luffy needed to complete his realization, which he will then be reflecting and pondering on in the crow’s nest.
In the battle of Whiskey Peak, Luffy for the first time faces Zoro as an enemy. Luffy has always known that Zoro enjoys his battles, but he also gains another understanding with the way he fights. When the swordsman battles, he gives his utmost focus and attention to his enemy.
After Whiskey Peak he’s almost—he’s almost jealous, of the people Zoro fights. Not because he wants to fight Zoro, but because Zoro affords all his focus to those he fights, the whole entire strength of him.
Luffy realizes that he likes being given that attention and admits that he is jealous of the people Zoro fights. Even for a small moment, Luffy gets a preview of what it is like to be Zoro’s everything, and he desperately craves that feeling again. Their skirmish ended with Luffy gaining a scar on his bicep that he is fond of because the scar is a proof of Zoro's connection with him, almost like he now as a part of Zoro. Luffy becomes more drawn to his swordsman as he now realizes what it will be like to be his only focus.
He notices that Zoro only shaves once a week, but by day five his stubble is visible and by day six it starts bugging him.
… He notices Zoro doesn’t touch him, but he lets Luffy pull him along without much complaint. So he finds himself yanking Zoro into his space at the dining table or pulling him along across Merry’s deck to show him cool stuff or hugging him one-sidedly like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
If he’s really, really lucky, then Zoro will turn to look at him with this smile that he only gives Luffy. And always, always, when Zoro looks at him with that smile, his eyes soften in a way that fills Luffy up to the brim, so full he can’t breathe. It’s weird.
Luffy likes it. He likes Zoro in general.
At this point of the story, Luffy is much more deliberate with paying attention to the little details of Zoro, signifying that he’s now aware of how much his eyes shift to his swordsman. He starts to find small excuses to continuously touch and be around him, realizing that he likes Zoro. Based on what we’ve seen of Luffy so far, it is hard to say he's referring to a romantic “like”, but it is not a stretch to believe that Zoro has gained his interest in a way that other people did not. He clues in that Zoro makes him feel strange, but he likes this feeling that Zoro gives him. Luffy even makes an attempt with sharing this discovery.
I don’t mind,” Luffy tells him, and stuffs his mouth full of a ham hock. He is so glad they have Sanji on the crew now. “Zoro can touch me."
The second turning point comes with the battle with the Marines. The fight is well-paced, carrying the right amount of energy with its punch and challenges, portraying that despite the Straw Hats needing to take the fight a little more seriously than usual, they will still be victorious. The fight contained its dangers, but the lighthearted banter and communications within the Straw Hats imply that they will triumph.
It is at the end of the battle, however, that brings Luffy's next development with his feelings for Zoro. Zoro scolds Luffy for his inaction after warning him of an incoming attack. Understanding that Luffy is okay, and that he’s taken more hits than his captain, Zoro softens. Luffy notices that Zoro is giving him his full attention, similar to how he did when they battled in Whiskey Peak. When Zoro clasps the back of Luffy’s head, Luffy starts to have an ecstatic reaction. This is our first look of Luffy's desire for Zoro, something he never had with anyone else.
None of it explains the way Luffy’s body lights up when Zoro clasps the back of his neck, like every nerve is alight and trained on the palm cupping the baby hairs at the back of his skull. His stomach knots over itself and he wants to eat everything in Sanji’s kitchen. Zoro’s skin is a little rough and sweaty from fighting and warm.
Zoro is close, so close, his forehead nearly butting Luffy’s and Luffy couldn’t move if he wanted to, trapped there by the closeness and the touch that makes him aware of Zoro’s skin against his in a way he’s never been before. Zoro’s eyes bore into his, digging deep into Luffy and dragging out—something, buried in the base of his spine. He feels like the earth is tilting, and freefall seems like it might be fun.
Luffy licks his lips, his mouth dry and his heartrate frantic.
As the moment between him and Zoro is broken, Luffy wanted Zoro’s attention back. Now aware for his desire for Zoro, Luffy is unable to handle this new turn of events, “…his [Luffy] brain blank and empty with static,” and “feeling weird and off-balance.” Zoro’s attention is now directed to Chopper was patching him up, and Luffy (for the first time) blushes as he takes in the details of Zoro’s back muscles and movements.
Zoro’s bared back faces Luffy, and it suddenly seems—different. Luffy’s never noticed the way the muscles on Zoro’s back stand out, connect, contract as he moves. He’s never noticed how his tanned skin seems to glow in the afternoon light, or how his shoulder-blades stand out, framing the divot of his spine.
His face feels too warm. Everything feels too warm. Luffy tears his gaze away, and finds Sanji staring at him, one curly eyebrow raised.
With Luffy’s two reactions (blushing and the feelings he got when Zoro touched him on the back of his neck), I believe this is the point where Luffy realizes he has a crush on Zoro, even if he still does not understand what that entails. It’s also worth noting that right after Luffy notices his desires , his hunger pangs starts, desperate to fill a gap within himself with food. Even as he lays awake on his bunk at night and fed, he’s having trouble with sleep. I see this as Luffy making an attempt at trying to satiate his feelings of crush for Zoro with food, because he doesn’t know how to go about wanting his swordsman. Luffy’s a bit of a stress eater, and honestly, he’s me fr fr.
It’s no coincidence that he climbs into the crow’s nest the next night, now with a bit more of an understanding of his feelings about the swordsman, but also with many thoughts to ponder over. When he looks over at Zoro and absorbs the details of how the moon has painted Zoro’s features, Luffy reacts the same way he did during the aftermath of the battle with the Marines: blushing and wanting Zoro’s attention. To notice that he’s feeling new things about his swordsman. Wanting to touch him.
And just like what happened after, Luffy once again stops himself from saying what he wants. He tried to share his thoughts with Zoro, but it comes out lacking and not completely what he’s meaning to say. He still has no idea how to go about resolving and sharing how he feels with Zoro.
“Zoro,” Luffy starts. He hears Zoro move to look over at him, but doesn’t know how to voice what he wants to ask. He frowns in thought, and Zoro makes a questioning noise.
“I like it up here,” Luffy tells him. It’s not what he wants to say but it’s true regardless. He looks up at Zoro because Zoro always seems to understand him with just a look, and he thinks he may as well give it a shot now.
Zoro’s expression is soft, and he nods. But there’s no light of understanding or realization in his eyes, and whatever Luffy’s thinking or feeling misses its mark.
That’s okay—it’s not like Luffy knows what he meant in the first place.”
As Luffy understands that he’s gaining non-platonic feelings for Zoro, he’s becomes unsure. Luffy (who throughout this story) has been confident and does not give too much of a thought about his actions, shows hesitation for the first time. He knows he wants Zoro, but he still does not completely understand what a crush means, or how to go about having a crush.
This second crow’s nest scene summarizes Luffy’s current progress on his feelings towards Zoro: aware of his non-platonic feelings, but doesn’t quite know what it is or what he’s going to do with it. The reason he’s been able to come to this conclusion is because of his discoveries both during the fight in Whiskey Peak and the Marines. In fact, I stand to believe that it’s not a coincidence that it’s during battles that Luffy makes these realizations. Zoro is a man of few words, and uses his actions to do the talking, which is fitting, that Luffy starts to fall for him as Zoro shows himself more through his actions.
Action and Conclusion
In the third (and final) time we’re shown in Luffy and Zoro’s moment in the crow’s nest, we reach a culmination of Luffy’s efforts to understanding and addressing how he feels about Zoro. To get to this point, he seeks out the help of Nami as he knows he won't go far trying to figure things out on his own. Nami and Vivi are in a relationship in this story, and Luffy is aware that they’ve kissed and done other romantic actions. This displays Luffy’s observant nature and accurate assessment, making the connection that what he’s feeling for Zoro is likely how Nami feels for Vivi.
Nami explains that she partakes in romantic endeavours with Vivi is that she’s attracted to Vivi, which Luffy does not understand.
“… but you know how, like, you can look at a person and think they’re pretty or hot but it’s kind of—objective? Remote? And how with other people you notice they’re pretty and also you feel like you want to be near them or touch them?”
Luffy tilts his head to the side. “No?”
“Hmm,” Nami frowns. “What about, like, butterflies? Where you see someone and get kind of nervous and hot because you like them?”
Luffy scrunches his nose. He can’t remember being nervous about…well, anything, ever.
Luffy’s demisexuality comes into the forefront of the story and is a major factor into him not understanding his feelings for Zoro. Being demisexual means that the person can’t be drawn to another solely on their physical appearance, or if they don’t know a person deeply. Prior to meeting Zoro, Luffy has never been nervous about a person, felt the feelings of “butterflies” in his stomach, or the need to touch someone and be near them. It’s curious that Luffy does not think about his reactions to Zoro when Nami was describing attraction, even when he did experience the same feelings. However, there is reason to believe that this is because at this point, Luffy does not connect the dots that his nervousness and uncertainty is linked with his romantic feelings for Zoro. As Nami made Zoro leave the kitchen, allowing for a more private conversation between her and Luffy, he opens to ask his true question: If he wants to kiss Zoro. Luffy explains to Nami that he’s never had the urge to do this with someone before, therefore attributing to his confusion.
“He doesn’t think it makes a lot of sense, since most of Luffy’s explanations have to do with Zoro staring or how it suddenly feels weird to touch his swordsman or how he really, really wants Zoro to touch him. He tells them he feels—squirmy around Zoro now and it’s not restlessness or hunger or anything else he knows how to deal with, how he wants to say something but he doesn’t know what.”
It is worth noting here that Luffy is an amateur when attempting to describe how he feels about Zoro. Not only that, but he describes his feelings objectively, as he only talks about the sensations in his body and wanting to do something about it. Luffy has felt happy, excited, and nervous when thinking about Zoro, but he does not describe any of these feelings to Nami. I see this as Luffy not being aware of how his feelings shifts when he is thinking about Zoro. Nami realizes that Luffy works better with action-based learning to resolving his feelings, and tells Luffy to ask Zoro for permission when wanting to do something with him. Luffy is then excited at the prospect of asking Zoro for a hug, because even in his uncertainty, getting an affirmation from the person in question is a direct and definitive way to having an answer.
Luffy decides on the next day that he’s going to ask Zoro for a hug, waiting patiently for him to finish his workout. He homes in on the way Zoro’s body and muscles move.
Zoro squats, and as he squats he exhales through his mouth. His abs bend and his thighs bulge through the fabric of his trousers. He rises, and his stomach contracts as he inhales through his nose, his broad chest bulging and his shoulders pinned back under the weight he’s holding. Luffy follows the line off his shoulders to the swell of his biceps, the tension of his forearms and the firmness of his grip around the barbell.
Luffy watches the motion of Zoro’s hips for a moment but it makes a flush of something deep and sharp slide through him, something unexpected. He imagines Zoro turning around, imagines watching him do this from behind, and he has to look away, imagining the muscles of Zoro’s back move and twitch beneath his skin, his trousers filling with his butt on each squat—
Luffy squirms, the first flash of impatience hitting him. He wants to touch Zoro. He wants to hug him. Or something.”
The usually hyperactive and excitable Luffy is still and quiet when observing Zoro because he’s enamoured. He even goes as far as imagining what it would be like for him to stare at Zoro from behind but cuts off his line of thought by thinking of doing something else to distract himself. It took Luffy this long to find Zoro attractive, a feeling that Nami described to him earlier in the kitchen.
Zoro is confused by Luffy at this point because he’s waited two hours to ask a seemingly mundane question, but this shows how important this is to Luffy for him to sit still and wait. He wants Zoro to have his full attention when answering his question, and only with Zoro’s permission did he go for the hug.
“Do hugs make you feel good?” Luffy asks, curious. He knows Zoro doesn’t like touch like Luffy does, so it would be disappointing but not weird for Zoro to say no.
“I—don’t—maybe?” Zoro squirms and it makes Luffy giggle as his muscles move underneath him. “It’s—fine, I guess.”
Luffy leans back in the hug so he can see Zoro’s face. He’s still sweaty from his workout, and red from the exertion, but he’s scowling hard, his whole face pinched into it. His glare is fixed on Luffy’s face, firm and unrelenting.
Luffy studies him, looking for objection, for discomfort or dislike.
He grins.”
Luffy values Zoro’s opinion on the hug because this is a step closer to figuring out the answer to his main question (if he wants to kiss Zoro). He is expectedly happy that Zoro finds no problem with his hug, and he is now able to act on his affections with hugs. In addition, he tells Zoro to hug him back whenever he wants, showing that Luffy wants Zoro to be open with affection the way he is to Zoro.
As Luffy gets more comfortable with asking Zoro for hugs, he extends to other methods of physical touches like head pats, touches on the arms, putting sunscreen on the back, and holding his hands. Zoro is undoubtedly confused by this new behaviour but continues to indulge with Luffy’s every requests. Luffy notes the strange feelings in his body, his “heart squeezes hard in his chest and freezes the air in his lungs.” He eventually becomes greedy for Zoro’s touches, and asks for more.
His greed reaches a tipping point when he asks Zoro to sit on his lap during a dinner. Zoro’s confusion on Luffy’s behaviour turns into hurt and embarrassment, causing him to storm out of the establishment.
“I don’t get it,” Zoro says after a moment. He’s staring at Luffy with—wait, what, that looks like—hurt, or embarrassment, or— “Why are you being so weird the last few days?”
Luffy frowns. “I’ve been asking.”
“Yeah, and—” Zoro runs his hand through his hair, frustrated. He glares at nothing, somewhere above their heads, and squeezes the hilt of his white sword. “Forget this. Someone should watch the ship.”
While Luffy is confused with the reaction, Zoro’s hurt and embarrassment is not surprising. I’ve held off from talking about Zoro’s point of view so far because we are not privy to much of his thoughts or feelings in comparison to Luffy’s openness and having his heart on his sleeve. However, Zoro’s frustration and pain at this moment quickly clicked with me because of what he’s seen from Luffy's behaviour so far. When Luffy was asking Nami to explain attraction, he was there to witness that conversation and watch Luffy get increasingly confused with Nami’s descriptions. He does not believe that Luffy understood what it was. Coupling this detail with Luffy’s frequent requests for closeness and affection, Zoro concludes that Luffy is doing this out of curiosity, unaware of how the touches made Zoro feel. In a way, he might have felt like his emotions are being played with, even if it was not Luffy’s intention.
With the encouragement of his friends, Luffy would ultimately decide that he doesn’t want to keep betting around the bush with getting an answer to his original question, and moves to go after Zoro to do what he wanted to do since the beginning. It is here that we reach the third (and final!) scene, in the crow’s nest where Luffy and Zoro will confess their feelings.
In the final scenario at the crow’s nest plays differently from the two former events in the crow’s nest, with Luffy now understanding what he wants and intending to share his direct and honest thoughts with Zoro.
He opens with saying “It’s pretty,” but this time, he’s looking at Zoro. He is setting an intention to make Zoro understand that he’s not talking about the stars, but about him. Zoro asks him why he’s been behaving strange the past few days, because Luffy was never the type of person to ask for permission about anything. Luffy’s explanation and build up with his inner turmoil throughout the story is revealed.
“I’ve never liked someone the way, like, Nami likes Vivi or Usopp likes Kaya. I thought I didn’t get like that and I didn’t really care. Except you…”
“….And I started thinking about—how the way I like you feels different, how I notice things about you I don’t notice for anyone else, like the way you have nice hands or how you always clean your swords a certain way or when you like to shave, and I—“ Luffy scowls, because the words are kind of hard to say suddenly, “My favorite scar is the one you gave me, and sometimes I want to bite you so we match.”
“…So like, then I realized that I want you to look at me all the time, because no one looks at me like you do, and I want you to touch me all the time, because it feels different and good and stuff when you touch me. It’s fun and I like it, and I want to touch you lots.”
… (He really, really hopes that’s what Zoro wants too.)
… (Oh—huh. What if it’s not?)
“…Nami said I should practice if I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I did, so now I know what I want,” Luffy says, determined now that he’s said this much—the adrenaline in his veins feels a lot like nerves and he wants to laugh at his older self for scoffing at the idea. Maybe Luffy’s laying his heart bare too, without even realizing it. He flushes, looks Zoro in the eye, and smiles as big as he can.”
As a demisexual, Luffy does not start to develop feelings for a person unless he has a deep connection with them first. He may have many friends who he considers precious, but he’s been around Zoro the longest at this point of his journey to becoming a pirate king. He also matches with him in many aspects, operating from similar wavelengths and capable of having wordless conversations because they just understand each other that deeply. Luffy’s attraction to Zoro needed to take a long period of build up and slow realizations, perfectly timed and crafted by the author as they guide the readers from the start to the realization, and to the conclusion of Luffy’s romantic development. It started from the small observations, following by the realization that he wants Zoro differently that came much later after he’d gone through two major moments that recontextualized the way he sees Zoro.
Because Luffy is unsure about what to do with his romantic affections, he takes Nami’s suggestions to heart. Since Luffy has no previous understanding of romance or romantic gestures, he hesitates on what to do next. He’s only newly come to terms with his romantic feelings, therefore he struggles with asking Zoro for a kiss or how to initiate it.
As Luffy was about to ask Zoro for a kiss, his mouth is covered by his swordsman’s hand. It’s ironic how Luffy was told to ask permission when he’s unsure, and by asking for a kiss, he displays that he’s doubting himself as he asks for the kiss. Zoro doesn’t allow him to complete his question, showing Luffy that he does not need to doubt himself any longer. Putting a hand on the back of his neck, he captures his lips, and the moment reaches its eventual climax.
“Captain doesn’t need to ask me,” Zoro repeats, his voice rough and low and his breathing is ragged too. “Captain should just take what he wants.”
When it comes to romance, Luffy started out not knowing of the feeling or how to deal with it, needing the guidance from his friends and explicit permission from Zoro to progress and do what he thinks is right. Romance is not an easy feeling to navigate, and it’s normal to feel the uncertainty and nervousness of the pressure to make it "feel right" when sharing your feelings and handling the overwhelming desires that comes from them.
Luffy was able to arrive to his answer and find the courage to share them, undoubtedly from the help of his friends, but also because he’s had plenty of time to reflect and sit with what he’s feeling and experiencing.
Found in the Crack of your Palm is a story about the slow yet steady build up of eventual romance and feeling it for the first time. The journey to the romance was eventful, but all it took was having the turning points to open the floodgates of the dormant feelings that was eager to be noticed. The moment can be as small as finding and feeling a scar on your bicep, a crack in your palm that opened the eyes to the realization that you’ve been wanting a certain someone to be a part of you as long as they can and forever if the stars allow for so. It’s the feeling of wanting to hold another person’s cracked palms and hands into your own as you take on the world together for all the challenges and joys that you both are about to experience, together.
#zolu#luzo#ff: found in the crack of your palm#au: the-furthest-city-light#thank you for allowing me to write an analysis on your fic 😭❤#it sits as one of my fave zolu works#and extra points because i am also demi and therefore Luffy is extra kinnie to me. i love him here. i love his development with zoro#one piece#fanfic analysis
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Even more Toge screencap studies — except for one(1) of the Toges 👀 which one could it be?
Bonus: Shoutout to whoever animated Toge popping his hip out in this shot. I know what you are.
#I’m trying this new thing where I put my posts in the Queue instead of just posting them whenever they’re done#which is I think what you’re supposed to do as a creator? so your followers have a better chance of actually seeing when you post? but also#i am very bad at waiting lol — and jjk is trending right now too rip (or it is at time of writing anyway„#which is 2 AM and therefore not a condusive time to just impulsively post actual content :’) )#update: i got bored and posted it anyway lol#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#inumaki toge#fanart#siphisketches#my art#artists on tumblr#csp#id in alt
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seven-ish sentence sunday ✍️
Thanks for the tag @mellancholy-morose 😎💕 I have been plugging away at this new WIP of mine in the hopes of getting the first couple chapters posted SOON, so here's a snippet from Shiny New College Summer Fling AU (a little more than seven sentences oops):
If Tsubaki's expression is anything to go by, Maka reckons she must look worse than she’d thought.
She spares the briefest of glances down at herself to assess her appearance firsthand: a ratty old pair of sweatpants, stained and riddled with holes; well-loved bunny slippers that had been pink, once upon a time; and, perhaps most incriminating of all, a t-shirt belonging to her ex-boyfriend.
“Maka…” Tsubaki appraises her with a soft click of her tongue, her dark eyes flickering between Maka’s disheveled form and the spread of textbooks on the bed behind her. “You’re… sulking again, aren’t you?
Maka blinks, disarmed by her roommate’s tone of voice–how it somehow manages to be equal parts gentle and unflinchingly honest. A velvet-edged blade cutting right to the quick of her emotions.
“I am not,” Maka counters, though there’s absolutely no conviction behind her words. “I was… studying.”
Tagging @toweroftunes @silluuuu and @memethebum to keep it going ☺️ if yall feel like sharing your lovely words!
#cherry writes#seven sentence sunday#i write therefore i am#soul eater#maka albarn#tsubaki nakatsukasa#soul eater fanfiction
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You know when you’re writing a scene, and you know you’re going to cry, and your readers are going to cry, and when you’re writing it you make yourself bawl like a baby?
Turns out I’m very adept at making myself cry.
Also dammit I really like bittersweet/borderline bad endings. I’m going to get so much hate when I post this. (Whenever that happens.)
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Still writing the things.
No title
Spilled ink depths
Vast and glittering
Did you sound
The vault of the heavens?
Did you reach
Collecting stardust
And philosophy from me
Tautened line
Plumb weighted
Trawling amongst
The depths of my sins
Did you cast
Gathering wreckage
And treasure from me
Charting these constellations
And trenches
Scintillating in this darkness
A divine cartography
#spilled poetry#poetry#words words words#good omens#I’m somewhere between brain rot and finding my voice again#it’s not my fault#almost anything I write could be related back to them lately#it refers to stars#THEREFORE#aziraphale#crowley#i write therefore i am
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☄️
☄️ Comet - Who is your most self destructive character? Why are they like that?
ROT is the god of rot and paranoia for Earth. Originally, Rot was just the god of decay. It was close friends with the god of paranoia who, due to the declining state of the world, could no longer take it all anymore. Rot took over its mantle. The other gods rumour it took the title by force, caused Paranoia to disappear and its realm to collapse.
The loss of its friend, new responsibilities, and abilities took a huge toll on it. Wars, politics, the declining environment, etc. all fed into making that worse. Its physical body began to loop through the process of decay and healing. Sometimes its mere flesh wounds, other times it leaves a hole through its 'lungs', causes it to be unable to speak, or could leave it unable to move. Sometimes it feels like its a glass canon.
After losing Paranoia, let's just say that ROT basically went nuts. It lashes out at other gods, attempted (and still does) to harm populations of people and their creations, always seems to believe someones out to get it (hence its design having so many eyes), and much more. Its destroyed most of the connections it has with the other gods, has no cult, and its antics can harm both it and others.
In the current timeline, there's no fix or way to help it. If anything, it'll get worse. ROT hates humanity and all the shit they've done, its goal is to wipe them out.
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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order#and the paperclips must all be the same size#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color#whether you like it or not#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks#Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency#So I simply don’t#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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thinking about sirius and walburga, and about how they’re so similar; for this very reason they tear at each other, because “i can’t love myself, so i will not be able love you either, but i will try to show you the little i have and that is through blood and spit and tears”, and how they used to be a mother and a son, and he used to hold her hand, and she used to kiss his temple and hold him in her arms, the skirt of her dress an aura around them, and how they grew to be strangers, and about how how walburga was chained to the destiny sirius was supposed to have too, but sirius had always been so, so stubborn, more so than her, even, and he was not tied to a family that he did not want to have. because the thing is, walburga was a mother. she was supposed to stay, to love, to care for, but how could she, when not even her own mother had loved her? when all she carried with herself was bitterness and resentment? how was she supposed to love the boy who had her eyes, her mouth, her temper, her undying devotion, flesh from her flesh and blood from her blood, the boy of her tears and joy and anger? besides, he wasn’t her son anymore, he was euphemia’s, because even though he has walburga’s mouth, he smiles like euphemia, and even though he has walburga’s eyes, his eyes crinkle the same way as euphemia’s do. maybe he just wasn’t meant to be her son, and that hurt more than anything else ever hurt her. she knows he’s happy, he saw him at the station when he boarded to hogwarts, his eyes bright and his smile wide, and although she held resentment toward him because he got away, she was happy that at least he did not have to live the life she had to. and sirius is a star, bound to burn until there’s nothing really left of him, and she is a saint, chained to a life she did not want to have, a martyr of some sort.
#i am not saying that walburga is a good person HOWEVER i do think that she had her own trauma and her own suffering#i think that we should like. look aside the little information we have on her because i think that in the end she was a bitter woman#who was stuck in a life she didn’t want to live (oureblooded society is definitely not a healthy place to be in) and therefore. h.#having thoughts about sirius and her and ambout mother and child relationships and hhhh#sirius black#walburga black#sirius&walburga#my writing
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I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.
Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.
When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs.
Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off.
He’d lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone.
If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why he’d stopped following Shidou’s instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.
Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts.
He awoke suddenly, or maybe he’d already been awake. He couldn’t feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.
Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was broken…
Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones.
He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down.
He didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?
A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure who’d come running into the cell. He couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead.
He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?
Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldn’t. In his ear, he could make out her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Don’t leave me alone. I’m so sorry...”
As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought he’d been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. He’d never made anyone happy before.
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.
Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. “This can’t be --! This isn’t right!”
Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didn’t like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?
He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just hurry up and die already?
The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldn’t.
—
“You’re wearing the eyepatch,” Fuuta observed.
He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, he’d just let her.
She didn’t.
Amane’s hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said, “Kajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
“But--”
“-- But I’m better, yeah.”
Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing.
“Oi, I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since…” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldn’t quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.
She lowered her gaze in shame. “I… I thought you hated me.” Her voice was steady. “As you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.”
“I -- what? You’re wrong. You… it wasn’t…” He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.
After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts.
“It was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.” He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.
“They almost killed me. You saved me.”
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#i am emotional about them!!!#my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad#but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know#we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything)#and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her#shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong#i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually#it helps both of them grow#he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult#not completely#but one step at a time#tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked#i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here#i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to#the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my#story but thats between her and god fr#drabbles#tw cults#tw child abuse
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