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#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks
theres-whump-in-that-nebula
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3 months
Text
Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work
#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks
#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)
#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes
#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL
#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order
#and the paperclips must all be the same size
#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color
#whether you like it or not
#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers
#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL
#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS
#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL
#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake
#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks
#Right? Right?
#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours
#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with
#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency
#So I simply don’t
#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does
#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper
#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO
#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment
#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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