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jennycalendar · 3 years

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ok you know what i think it’s actually really vital that i talk a little bit about tea time. buckle up kiddos.

first off, a brief and relatively spoiler-free summary: the premise of the issue is very simple. the kiddos (aged up, if willow’s mention of being engaged is any indication) are hanging out in the library to help giles with research, swapping stories about what it would be like were giles a vampire. each of them, save giles, gets a chance to tell a detailed story -- xander tells two! -- and each story plays out in a way that says a lot about the scooby that’s telling it AND the way they view giles.

obviously this is a VERY character-driven issue, and it’s a really really interesting look at giles and how he is perceived as well! shit like that is my bread and butter, so this has honestly become one of my favorite things that boom has put out -- possibly my ACTUAL top favorite issue if we’re being real here.

below the cut is a spoilery dissection of every story told -- a literal summary of Every Single Thing that happens in this issue, as well as what it has to say about the scoobies and their perception of giles, so definitely keep that in mind.

as can be seen in the preview, xander’s first story is about giles rising from the grave as an ineffectual british caricature, who is easily defeated by smoldering, sexy xander harris (and xander in turn walks off with buffy and willow draped all over him, cooing about how amazing he is). it’s more of an intro to the premise than anything, but it still sets the tone pretty clearly wrt how xander handles this situation: there’s some laughter and levity, and he’s center stage. obviously a lot can be said about xander’s self-esteem issues and how he overcompensates by casting himself as the main protagonist both in canon and here. however, i wanna save my more in-depth xander analysis for his second, longer, story, so i’ll stop myself there.

willow immediately responds with skepticism: she’s of the mind that giles would be an incredibly serious big-bad level threat. the tale she spins involves giles as a dangerous vampire cleric with access to a cryptic altar, killing xander almost immediately and slaughtering buffy as a sacrifice to create eternal night. her view of giles is more clinical than anything -- and, i would argue, the most perceptive and realistic from a threat standpoint. the guy knows a fuckton of magic and he is incredibly well-read and powerful. he’d have some kind of terrifying master plan. where xander goes for comedy, willow goes straight for logistics, already looking at the battle like it’s a battle rather than laughs aplenty.

xander and buffy have a bone to pick with willow’s story (xander is indignant that he’s immediately and brutally killed, buffy is of the mind that she would easily defeat giles in hand-to-hand combat even if he IS a vampire), so (after one more teasing story where buffy lives and xander dies) willow gracefully alters her narrative to reflect her friends’ objections: after a dramatic tussle, xander helps willow and buffy unceremoniously stakes giles in the heart. still pretty straightforward and plausible. willow sees vamp giles primarily as a threat -- one not easily neutralized. one who could easily wipe them out.

buffy, about to tell her story, is interrupted by xander, who “had an even better idea!” the web he weaves is this time purported as realistic and entertaining: while partying at the bronze, buffy and co. are interrupted by a bunch of balding, greying vampires in curlers and bathrobes, led, of course, by giles -- who is wearing a hair bonnet and disapprovingly informing the bouncers how late it is at eight PM. a knockdown brawl breaks out at the bronze -- old people feeding on and decimating the young -- and culminates in giles and the geezers taking over the band to sing “some terrible song” that’s “probably something really old and bad!” the rest of the story descends into b-movie chaos, with buffy throwing a broken guitar neck up at the stage lights to send the whole thing crashing down onto vampire giles and his vampire old person band. it’s categorically absurd.

the thing that really sticks with me about this story is how dumb it is. xander’s take on giles is not even slightly serious and wholly underestimates him. fandom at large talks a lot about how giles dropped the ball with xander, but i think tea time explores an easily overlooked factor: xander constantly, consistently underestimates giles. in canon, xander’s view of giles is not often challenged: to him, giles is a bumbling, british librarian who regularly gets his ass handed to him by vamps and demons and the like. certainly part of his story’s intent is about laughingly entertaining his gal pals, but there’s a very real and consistent thread involving giles being hilariously nonthreatening.

giles, taking umbrage at this particular tale, calls out both xander and willow: xander’s story, in giles’s opinion, emasculates vamp giles and turns him into a ridiculous caricature -- and willow’s story, though much more flattering, lacks the kind of imagination that vamp giles would clearly have. he then offers a suggestion of his own. it’s worth mentioning here that both xander’s and willow’s stories get gorgeous multiple-page spreads depicting the vampy action, but giles’s is a simple and chilling little thing: this is his vampire story. this meeting, called to ostensibly “research” a vampire altar, is really an excuse to get the scoobies to do his dirty work and find the thing for him. they’re tired and silly because the tea and donuts he’s given them are drugged, and their library location is to keep them out of daylight. he laughs it off when he sees they’re bothered, and the meeting is then adjourned when willow finally finds what they’re all looking for.

buffy’s left her phone in the library, so she doubles back, and accidentally wakes up a dozing giles. just as she’s about to leave, he inquires, casually, “...you never did tell your version of the story.”

and good god here is where it gets interesting.

see, buffy’s take is simple: she’s fighting giles in a cemetery, she’s given the chance to kill him, and she is entirely unable to do it. they share a tearful embrace as she sobs about the unfairness of it all -- “you’re giles! and you’ll always be! ...how will i do this without you? without your guidance?” and as the sun is rising, giles turns her into a vampire, with no resistance whatsoever from buffy. the next handful of pages depict bloody, indulgent violence on the parts of giles and buffy, the two of them cuddled up together as they watch the world burn.

buffy’s tale is the most emotive, the most loving, which makes me so damn soft! i love this girl so much! she is unable to even joke about giles as a foe to be taken down -- he is her watcher. he is her friend. she loves him endlessly and that does not change when he’s a vampire. vamp giles as she portrays him is gentle and understanding, holding her as she cries, because he knows that they’re connected. it’s easily my favorite part of this whole issue.

notably, there is a definite buffy/giles bend that the comic itself tries to contradict. the art is sensual in nature -- vamp buffy all dolled up in a way somewhat evocative of drusilla, giles tenderly caressing her face as he waits for her to wake up. “watcher and slayer connected forever” being the quote chosen to describe the situation. i think it’s kind of what naturally happens in a vamp giles sitch, especially if he turns buffy -- the childe/sire bond is incredibly sexual in nature, especially in canon, and a lot of frustrating human sentiment gets translated into something sexual as well. sex is a big BIG part of the relationships between vampires we see in canon; it would make a lot of sense for that to hold true for buffy and giles.

the comic is reticent about Going There, which i can understand -- though buffy is decisively aged up in this issue (willow mentions being engaged to a woman, later revealed to be tara), the buffy/giles bond is always seen through a father/daughter lens in canon. i do think it’s also important to always recognize how desperately giles wishes to escape the label of father in reference to buffy, pretty much entirely because there is no way to parent a child soldier who you’re also training, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish. point is, buffy very pointedly refers to vamp giles as her father not once, but twice -- once as a human, once as a vampire herself. it’s a very clear attempt, imo, to un-sexualize the vampy experience. the reason it doesn’t totally work, at least for me, is the fact that -- like i said -- the childe/sire bond is VERY sexual (spike and dru, angel and darla, angel and dru) and it seems just totally implausible that vamp buffy/vamp giles (two people who, as human were both VERY repressed) would chastely remain within the socially acceptable version of their relationship.

i can definitely understand why they did their best to blur that line, though. the idea of buffy and giles being romantically involved as vampires is 1) Kind Of A Lot and 2) not exactly the target demographic that i think this comic is going for. but the subtext is there, to the point where the issue itself has to actively obfuscate it, which i think is .... so interesting? especially as a counterpoint to the way i often see buffy/giles in fandom, wherein the father/daughter subtext in canon is at times actively obfuscated in fic in an attempt to push a preferred reading.

the ending i particularly enjoyed: after buffy leaves, it is lightly and ambiguously implied that giles might really be a vampire. works GREAT as a standalone, imo, and the end is like the cherry on top. it’s a really REALLY interesting issue and i highly recommend it for any giles fan.

#meta #btvs comics #buffy and giles #''a little bit'' they say. and write a full fucking essay #anyway i love this issue it's my prized possession i am dying for at least one (1) person to read this insane summary and talk to me abt it

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saudade-mayari · 3 years

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I don’t blame people who says Aizawa is a bad teacher or a hypocrite, but you’re an account that I am comfortable sharing this because you also love eraser head. (It’s okay if you don’t want to post it)

Even Aizawa admitted to himself that he is a terrible teacher and mostly forced to teach as based on the vigilantes manga where Nemuri recommended Shota to be a teacher, but what he did to DEKU is somehow relevant for me.

Yes it is true that during the first part he hated Izuku’s guts and regarded him as having no potential but Aizawa was also testing the kid because whichever way watchers should know, Aizawa is right on the fact that Izuku just can’t attack recklessly and impulsively after having such destructive quirk. He did not disregard Izuku’s quirk, he is merely testing the kid to find his other resolve. As for Bakugo’s case Aizawa truly had a hard time disciplining him but he is watching him closely like what Mitsuki (Bakugo’s mom) said, so when All Might took tutelage of Midoriya (and Bakugo) he had no objections because as a HOMEROOM teacher, All Might is the best training for Izuku’s quirk (which is relatively passed onto him)

He is never a hypocrite for teaching Shinso. I don’t see anything wrong about that because I really understand that some training teachers have their own prodigy and he’s a homeroom teacher all he is accountable off is the overlooking at the their hero training which he did well because he focused on the student individual’s strength in the summer camp.

Aizawa also mentioned in a chapter in manga (254) why he expelled students in the past. He knew his capability as a homeroom teacher and he himself knows that he is a terrible teacher hence, re-enrolled them to other school where they would work with a new homeroom teacher. Some may see it as escaping of “escaping duties” but I really think during that time, Aizawa was just thinking what he thinks is best for the students. Afterall, he had proven himself good in manga as someone who really cares for ALL THE STUDENTS.

Blaming Aizawa for the events in 1A is practically uncalled and irrelevant, might as well just say the entire UA should be held accountable. He just had a poor decision making most especially when the truth about Kurogiri is revealed. However, even though he is not the best teacher, I can safely say that Aizawa is a decent and good teacher.

v v v long post ahead

yes anon!!!!. not my biased self speaking... he is not as great as other teachers, but saying shouta is a terrible teacher is uncalled for. he is a decent prof for me. made some mistakes, helps his students. it’s decent.

i firmly believe aizawa and all might are better example as a pro hero than teachers.

(Gonna point some of his mistakes in my perspective as a former teacher under the cut)

he was strict for a reason but he showed his care for all the students during the fight in manga (not gonna say since its spoiler) even aizawa himself knows he is terrible at teaching but at least he is trying😂

i also heard fans saying that because momo, tenya and todoroki are from rich and well known prohero family aizawa never bothered to scold at them. AGAIN IT IS WRONG TO SAY THAT.

momo, iida and todoroki...yes rich and families are known for being heroes but they practically never did anything to trouble aizawa so why else bother them? during their test, aizawa gave advice for todoroki and momo which considerably helped them.

aizawa’s way of teaching is to give harsh critiques and let the student have their own resolve. but as a former student and teacher speaking, it is both right and wrong to have that approach.

it’s definitely okay to let them figure out their own resolve (HAPPENS A LOT IN MED SCHOOL PROFS ARE HARSH HUHU) but it is important to somehow give them base and foundation before actually figuring out their so-called own resolves. i think it’s what aizawa lacks the most AS A TEACHER. but then again his entire character build up clearly says he’s not for teaching.

he was also called a hypocrite for teaching shinso but they aren’t picking on all might for mostly focusing on deku nor endeavor only wanting to focus on shoto. it’s not wrong to have their own prodigies because at the very least aizawa helped overlook his students like what he did in the summer camp and like what all might did in student practicals.

not just aizawa but all might, endeavor, nighteye and even gran torino have personal decisions on closely training those selected kids

aizawa WAS the only teacher who called the entrance/admission test irrelevant for non-physical quirks. HE KNEW IT WAS A PROBLEM SO HE HELPED SHINSO TO BE ON HERO DEPARTMENT bc he know the kid’s opportunity to be a pro hero in the future. he experienced that himself, although his quirk is powerful it was completely non-physical that is why his and shinso’s ability are less likely to be recognized. coz i agree the quirk admission test was somehow iffy... there should have been psychological quirk test too but i understand the point where fans tell that “it’s a student’s job to take advantage of their quirk rather than complain in the disadvantages of having a non-physical quirk.”

I agree on that statement but as a former student myself, i think reconsiderations should have existed coz there are probably lots of great students in general course department (like shinsou).

—and tbh... aizawa and kakashi are often the teachers who are regarded as ‘terrible ones’ but i don’t think so.

im not gonna point out kakashi’s but im gonna say aizawa’s role as a homeroom teacher. back in highschool, ive homeschooled in japan for 2 yrs due to personal reasons and i can say that based on their culture in japan and asia countries in general have a different approach on homeroom teachers.

homeroom teachers in japan are technically the ones who overlook the students, ppl who argued that aizawa should train them is irrelevant because all might is their combat and hero training teacher. aizawa is not meant to teach, but rather supervise.

which is why aizawa (as the homeroom teacher) and all might (the hero training teacher) are the ones who had council with parents because technically, aizawa is responsible for the students safety. HOWEVER....

manga spoilers on the cut

some anti aizawa fans are totally wrong to blame everything in him for 1A always being in dangerous circumstances because after reading the on going manga, they have no damned idea AT FIRST who the league of villains is responsible of. THE ENTIRE UA SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE, not just aizawa I agree on that anon.

for aizawa and the rest it is still a puzzle in the early, i repeat early chapters of the manga what the league is really after aside from killing all might and changing the system of pro heroes.

yes. I agree he had bad decisions on the victims, mainly Kurogiri because he knew it was his friend. He regarded Kurogiri as a ‘victim’ but somehow disregarded the casualties it caused. It was irrational for aizawa to say it like that coz it was obviously a word out of his feelings in the past. can’t blame him (imo) but it was truly irrational and irrelevant for him to say it like that.

there are times aizawa as a teacher just harshly criticized them and let them have their own resolve which is in fact, pretty harsh for a bunch of 15 year olds. but i think aizawa only wants them to have their own resolve since its what aizawa has been doing since episode 5.

i think it was bad for aizawa to let iida go where his brother was attacked, he should have acted upon it as a homeroom teacher to secure iida’s safety but then again, ITS FOR THE SAKE OF PLOT😂

im going to say this again... as a former teacher speaking, it is bad for aizawa just to give the students harsh critiques and letting them figure their own resolves.

it’s not a bad teaching approach BUT that kind of approach doesn’t work ALL THE TIME. sometimes, aizawa needs to teach the basics, base and foundation so the students would have an easier time to HAVE AN ACTUAL SOLUTION

because as a student for 9 years in pre and med school, it is definitely hard to make critical decisions WITHOUT being taught the foundation and base first.

it’s like aizawa not teaching an intern general surgery but letting them have their own decisions if the intern is gonna decide whether to lead the surgery or not.

his teaching approach is not bad but it doesn’t work all the time. as a teacher, pro hero and adult he needs to imply his own experience as well which where the erasure hero lacks. But then again it’s plot and aizawa’s introvert character build up so we can’t really blame him because they need the plot to keep going.

personally, aizawa’s main mistake is not knowing what to teach for the answers to questions the students are not expected to know from teaching answers to questions the students are expected to know.

if aizawa’s gonna be that perfect teacher and all, the show would have been boring😂

though aizawa did assessed on their quirks during summer training arc but i think it was not enough for the fans.

aizawa is much more better as a pro hero alone. he does his job perfectly as pro hero.

so in conclusion, i think aizawa needs to have seminar with me 🤪 im gonna teach my man the proper and basics of teaching. HAHAHAHA KIDDING 🤪 (lowkey not kidding)

#READ MY LAST PARAGRAPH #THAT’S THE BEST RESOLVE #shouta aizawa #aizawa shota #eraserhead #aizawa shouta #aizawa sensei

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tigerkirby215 · 4 years

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Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything subclass Tier List

(Artwork from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. Posted by @robmichel_art on Twitter. Copyright Wizards of the Coast.)

I was going to make some comparison posts between the UAs and the full release of Tasha’s but other more qualified people are doing that, so instead in my continued effort to pretend that this account is for more than just me satisfy my character building obsession I decided to make a little tier list ranking the subclasses from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything from my least favorite to my favorite.

This list is going to be comparing the subclasses from Tasha’s to each-other, but is also going to be comparing the subclasses to the other available subclasses for the class they’re from. So even if I really like a subclass it’ll lose points if the class already had better options. I’m not going to talk about any of the reprinted classes from Eberron or Ravnica but I will talk about the reprinted Theros subclasses (Eloquence Bard / Glory Paladin) as for many people this will be their first time seeing them.

Also it goes without saying but this is just my opinion! So sorry if you really like the next class you’re about to see because it’s at the bottom of my tier list!

F TIER

Psi Warrior (Fighter)

Well something had to be the worst. Truthfully I really wasn’t interested in the Psi Warrior during UA but wow its full release leaves a lot to be desired.

First let’s get the obvious out of the way: “Worse Battlemaster LUL!” It is laughable how bad this subclass is when compared to Battlemaster. BM gets to give itself advantage, give allies advantage, move allies, fear enemies, grapple enemies, give enemies disadvantage... and by comparison Psi Warriors get to do a little more damage or reduce a bit of incoming damage.

The fact that this subclass requires Intelligence confuses me to no end. They changed both Rune Knight and Soul Knife to not require intelligence (even though Rogues are kinda expected to have good Intelligence to help with skill checks) but Psi Warrior still needs INT? It amazes me that Battlemaster, Rune Knight, and Echo Knight are all SAD (single ability dependent) yet Psi Warrior of all subclasses is the one they consider too strong if you can min-max.

The biggest problem with this class by far is the Psionic Energy Die. Having your main class resource only come back after a Long Rest is insulting. (It’s the problem that Samurai Fighter has had since it was printed and it’s really sad that Wizards of the Coast didn’t learn from that.) While Battlemaster gets bigger die that have more effects which come back on a short rest Psi Warrior can only recharge one die per short rest. Honestly this subclass would be so much better if you regained Psionic Energy Die when using Second Wind (as well as having a dedicated action for it) so at least then you could have more than one die per short rest.

The only good level in this subclass is level 7, entirely because you get to Fly when you Dash. I mean, sure the UA Dragon Monk can also do that but at least this is in the official rules. Everything else that this subclass gets is weak: Telekinetic Thrust lets you do what Battlemasters were doing at level 3, Guarded Mind is just bad (Monk? Never heard of ‘em!), Bulwark of Force is mediocre at best (I know like 3 people who actually understand how cover works in 5e), and Telekinetic Master is a laughably weak capstone. Your capstone as a Fighter is a situational 5th level spell that takes away your ability to attack? Meanwhile actual spellcasters are casting 9th level spells, and other martials are doing upwards of 50 damage per turn.

At first I was largely indifferent to the Psi Warrior but after reading over all its abilities its laughable how bad it is. It at least surpasses Purple Dragon Knight in terms of mediocrity (ironic considering that the two of them are beside each-other on D&D Beyond) but it’s the only true stinker of Tasha’s, and it gets the honor of being the second weakest Fighter subclass and the weakest subclass in this book.

D TIER

Aberrant Mind (Sorcerer)

This is the best subclass to play if your only desire is to cast spells, and I mean that in the worst possible way. While every other Sorcerer has a defined class role Aberrant Mind feels like the most generic milk-toast subclass that you pick simply because you didn’t know what to play. While Clockwork Soul defends, Divine Soul heals, Draconic Bloodline blasts, Shadow Magic sneaks, Storm Sorcerer evades, and Wild Magic does memes Aberrant Mind’s only major strengths come online at level 14+.

Telepathy at level 1 is a joke when compared to the other Sorcerers. CS can negate advantage, DS gets Super Bless on top of access to the Cleric spell list, DB gets free Mage Armor, SM gets super Darkvision and the Half Orc racial trail, SS gets goddamn flight, and WM gets to kill the party at level 1 with a level 3 fireball. Meanwhile AM gets the Message cantrip with a longer range.

Psionic Sorcery is okay. Getting cheaper* (citation needed) spells that you can Subtle Spell for free is alright. The subclass spell list is good and seeing as you can sub out the spell to take better ones if needed you can really get some useful magic for your kit.

SPELLS TO LOOK AT AS AN ABBERANT MIND SORCERER

LEVEL 1

Dissonant Whispers is honestly a really good spell to have, but Arms of Hadar is a bit situational. If willing you can swap it out with: the utility Divination spells (Detect Magic / Identity - remember that Sorcerers can’t Ritual cast so it might be better for someone else to take these), Hex, Sleep, or Tasha’s Hideous Laughter.

LEVEL 2

Gift of Gab from Acquisitions Incorporated is either going to be a complete joke of a spell or the most useful spell in your arsenal. Hold Person is the most obvious choice from second level. Tasha’s Mind Whip is a great single-target damage spell with some added utility, and is almost objectively better than Mind Spike because it doesn’t require Concentration.

LEVEL 3

Both Hunger of Hadar and Sending are great spells, and there really aren’t a lot of Divination / Enchantment spells at third level. The only one I can really recommend is Tongues if you need the utility.

LEVEL 4

Evard’s Black Tentacles and Summon Aberration are both extremely strong spells, but if you want to replace them for some reason: Arcane Eye is essentially just a better familiar, Confusion is a great AoE disruption spell, and Locate Creature can be useful in a pinch.

LEVEL 5

Honestly the spell list really opens up at 5th level. Just about any choice is good, so look on D&D Beyond to see what to take. If you know me I’m going to recommend Synaptic Static.

Psychic Defenses, like with Psi Warrior, seems to have been taped onto the class because WoTC realized how weak it was so they just threw more situational garbage into its kit to compensate.

Revelation in Flesh is pretty much the only good ability you get. And granted there’s some insane utility with this ability. Not-quite-Blindsense, fly speed (best one), swim speed (worst one), and the folding ability that I’m sure will result in some interesting stories on Reddit. Warping Implosion is also a great escape-utility ability but like it’s your 18th level capstone of course it was going to be good.

If I was going to play in a level 20 one shot I’d perhaps roll up a level 20 Aberrant Mind. (Or more like a level 18 Aberrant Mind with 2 levels in Warlock because Sorcerer’s level 20 capstone sucks lol.) But unless I knew the campaign was going to at least level 15 I wouldn’t even bother.

Oath of the Watchers (Paladin)

It was boring in UA and it’s boring now. I feel bad that I have so little to say about Oath of the Watchers, especially after writing massive paragraphs about Psi Warrior and Aberrant Mind. But Oath of the Watchers feels like the worst parts of Arcana Cleric to me. Only difference is that while Arcana Cleric gets Wizard spells you get Moonbeam and help with Initiative. This subclass feels more campaign-specific than PHB Ranger and that’s really saying something.

Swarmkeeper (Ranger)

It’s certainly the most unique Ranger, both in terms of concept and in terms of abilities. It actually has a lot of utility with a good spell list and the Gathered Swarm feature providing a lot of great utility to a martial character. The thing is that in all honesty this subclass is kinda boring until level 15. And the other big problem is that the fantasy and roleplay that this subclass provides is so strange. When you think “Ranger” do you think master of the hunt, traveling through multiple dimensions and slaying powerful foes from the shadows with a tamed beast at their side? Or do you think “hurr durr bugzzz”?

This subclass feels like the one you pick when you've played literally every other subclass available, or when you get them from a random character generator. Ironically enough I do actually have a friend who made a Swarmkeeper for a one-shot I ran back when this subclass was in UA. But the fact that they made the character just to test UA shows just the type of characters that will be made with this subclass.

Way of Mercy (Monk)

You either love it or you’re completely indifferent, is what I have found the general opinion of Way of Mercy to be. Guess which camp I’m in. This subclass literally just feels like a Cleric with mobility whose healing comes back on a short rest. Time will see how OP “I can heal every turn and get my Cure Wounds back on a Short Rest” not-Cleric will be, but until then the subclass is pretty much exactly what it says on the tin. For the people who wanted to play a healing Monk I’m happy for them.

Path of the Beast (Barbarian)

If I can sum up Path of the Beast in one word it’s “underwhelming.” Form of the Beast gives you three above-average weapons to choose from, Bestial Soul gives you some movement buffs, Infectious Fury lets you do some decent crowd control or damage spiking, and Call the Hunt lets you buff your party.

The thing is... you’re fighting against “resist all damage” (Totem Warrior), “protect your allies with your JoJo Stand” (Ancestral Guardian), “smite with the wrath of God” (Zealot), or “shoot lightning out of your goddamn chest.” (Storm Herald.) It’s not a bad subclass and honestly compared to some of the existing Barbarians (Beserker, Battlerager, and honestly Storm Herald is bad too) it’s pretty strong. But it’s just so, so boring.

I need to preface this by saying that Barbarian is probably my least favorite class in 5e and for what it’s worth I’m certainly more interested in playing Path of the Beast than say Battlerager, but I can’t help but feel that this subclass just lets you hit things better as the class that does nothing other than hit things. The only real positive I see to this subclass is the flavor, which absolutely carries it above the likes of Totem Warrior and Zealot. (Both of which I think are objectively stronger than Beast Barbarian.)

Clockwork Soul (Sorcerer)

It been mostly unchanged from playtest even though as I stated Clockwork Soul was one of the subclasses I was a little worried about. But even then the subclass just feels so boring to me. It seems like this subclass is entirely designed to be the “no fun allowed” character who just says “No U” to everything the DM does. Don’t get me wrong it’s certainly a strong defensive subclass but I feel like if you want to play a defensive spellcaster you’re more likely to play an Abjuration Wizard or a Cleric in general.

And the lore just doesn’t really click for me? I can understand how you’d have dragon blood magic, shadow soul magic, and celestial infusion magic. But how the heck do you get a Clockwork Soul? I know Mechanus is a thing in D&D but I feel like for the average normie this won’t make any sense.

Also RIP in piss Heat Metal from the subclass spell list. Here’s my suggestion for spells if you want to play a CSS:

LEVEL 1 - Absorb Elements, Armor of Agathys, Featherfall, Mage Armor, Shield

LEVEL 2 (Aid and Lesser Restoration are good but Aid chews through your spell slots) - Enhance Ability, Enlarge / Reduce

LEVEL 3 - Blink, Counterspell, Fly, Gaseous Form, Haste, Slow

LEVEL 4 (Tasha’s Summoning Spells are good but Freedom of Movement is highly situational) - Banishment, Polymorph

LEVEL 5 - Animate Objects, Passwall

C TIER

College of Creation (Bard)

It has a lot of interesting abilities. Performance of Creation in particular is arguably one of the strongest abilities for someone who knows the equipment page well in the PHB. The problem is just that unless you have a very specific build in mind I don’t really know why you’d play the College of Creation? It feels like a Conjuration Wizard... but it’s a Bard. Perhaps the biggest irony is how much stronger this subclass feels when compared to the Conjuration Wizard, but you really have to be in the mood to play a conjurer.

Oath of Glory (Paladin)

Having some experience playing this subclass in a one-shot (Theros yay!): it’s very hit-or-miss. The spell list is amazing, the Channel Divinities are mediocre at best, the aura is garbage (10 foot +10 movement aura LUL), Glorious Defense is insane, and Living Legend is a capstone ability so of course it’s going to be good.

I think the main reason you’ll pick this subclass is for their subclass spells. And don’t get me wrong: Guiding Bolt and Haste are crazy good. But considering that Paladins usually want to blow everything on Smites?

When I played this character it was a 9 level dip into Paladin with a 3 level dip into Warlock. I didn’t use a melee weapon and opted for Eldritch Blast spamming. And that’s essentially this subclass as a whole: it wants you to be a spellcaster, which is great if you multiclass into a spellcaster (Aura of Protection is always good) but it feels bad as an actual Paladin.

The new Fighting Style that lets you get some cantrips as a Paladin might make this subclass better, but you’re still stuck being a half caster. Can’t escape the feeling that an actual caster would be better.

Path of Wild Magic (Barbarian)

It’s fun, is all I can really say. The subclass is built almost entirely around the Wild Surge table you get at level 3 and all the effects are strong. (Thankfully none of them are OP like in UA.) Unstable Backlash means that with luck you should eventually get a good Wild Magic effect.

The use of a d3 for Bolstering Magic is still a crime. It should just be a d4, with the spell slot restoration thing being “reroll on a 4.” (Or better yet: “roll a d4 and take half the roll, rounded up.” I still think having an RNG chance to get back a Haste or Fireball is a bit too strong.)

B TIER

Fey Wanderer (Ranger)

All I can say is thank god this subclass got better. It went from a weird pseudo-Paladin to a subclass with its own identity and theme. The only ability that’s really weak currently is Dreadful Strikes since it encourages you to spread out your damage for no particular reason. Horizon Walker had a similar problem but you could still focus damage as Horizon Walker. And you were doing more than a d4 of extra damage.

But beyond that this subclass is great! The subclass spell list is very strong. Otherworldly Glamour gives you some utility as a party face. Beguiling Twist... is honestly a little hit-or-miss. But it’s made up for by Fey Reinforcements and Misty Wanderer. Having a non-concentration summoning spell along with near-unlimited Misty Step is so insanely powerful to keep out of harm and to keep your DPS up.

Fey Wanderer seems really good at a lot of the things a Ranger wants to do. It’s a good skill monkey (being good at Charisma which other Rangers usually aren’t), a good damage dealer, a strong defensive support, a great single-unit summoner, and incredibly slippery and mobile. I don’t know if it’s enough to make me play the class (Ranger’s flavor is still iffy for me overall) but it’s definitely on my list for subclasses to try someday!

Order of the Scribes (Wizard)

Order of the Scribes is the best default Wizard, which is its biggest strength and its largest weakness. Getting a free colored pen is fun and flavorful, being able to get all your spells back if you lose your spellbook is insanely useful, always having an Arcane Focus is great, being able to replace the damage type of your spells is MASSIVE, getting to cast a Ritual Spell with its normal casting time is situationally fantastic.

Getting what essentially amounts to a free familiar is amazing. Getting what essentially amounts to a free spell slot (to upcast a second level spell) is great, and is honestly worth multiclassinging into for a lot of classes. Being able to negate incoming damage as a Wizard (IE squishy d6 hit die baby) is huge, even if you lose a lot of spells in the process. (I assure you by level 14 you’re going to have some useless spells that you’re never going to cast.)

But the problem with Order of the Scribes is that it has to compete with Divination, Evocation, Chronurgy, and War Wizard. If you have any specific build you want to go for then the specific schooled subclasses are better. But if you “just want to cast spells or whatever” Order of the Scribes is a lot of fun.

I actually have a character who’d fit Order of the Scribes very well, it’s just that Chronurgy feels so much more fun even if it doesn’t fit him as well. And that’s literally the exact problem with Order of the Scribes summed up in one anecdote.

Peace Domain (Cleric)

You may be forgiven for thinking this subclass is just a Life Cleric that doesn’t wear Heavy Armor, but the Emboldening Bond and the upgrades it gets are incredibly useful. Protective Bond in particular is such a massive power boost to the tanks of your party, giving them mobility and letting them take damage for squishy allies.

Peace Domain is by far the best party buffing spellcaster. They make everyone else amazing, and while that may not be fun for everyone I’m a garbage Yuumi main so it’s right up my alley.

Circle of Wildfire (Druid)

“iT dOeSn’T hAvE fIrEbAlL aNyMoRe It’S bAd BeCaUsE nO fIrEbAlL” oh get over your Fireball fetish Reddit. Circle of Wildfire is carried pretty much entirely by its flavor. It’s such a unique take on a Druid it’s impossible not to find at least some build to make with this subclass.

That’s not to say that it’s a bad subclass! The summon feels weak but you get two of them per short rest. Having a powerful subclass feature tied to short rests is really nice as a spellcaster. All your other features are very useful and flavorful, though my one complaint is that Cauterizing Flames is hard to use in Theater of the Mind.

It’s just a very fun and unique subclass that offers a unique flavor to Druids that they don’t normally have. I’m sure a lot of players will be motivated to try a Druid just to take a crack at this class. Hopefully they realize that only you can prevent forest fires.

A TIER

Phantom (Rogue)

I’m actually surprised how much I like this class to be honest. I made a Phantom Rogue once as a joke for a one-shot and to my surprise the subclass is actually very powerful and fun! It surprisingly just feels like a better Rogue, but considering how strong Rogues are normally that’s all the better for Phantom Rogue. You can easily fill any skill proficiencies your party needs thanks to Whispers of the Dead, and Wails from the Grave really lets you increase your DPS.

Tokens of the Departed got a major boost from UA since it now lets you use Wails from the Grave more, but the flavor of being able to ask the souls of the dead for information is also great. Ghost Walk is just insanely useful in general, and Death’s Friend lets you do double Sneak Attack damage every turn! Imagine how much damage you’d do with a crit!

The flavor is the one thing that I think hurts this subclass, as it’s really hard to make essentially an undead Rogue without immediately being labeled as an edgelord. But if a party ever needs a Rogue to do all the things that a Rogue does this character is perfect!

I’m personally awaiting the day to bring back Bill, the Undead Kobold Detective.

Way of the Astral Self (Monk)

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JoJo subclass. I like JoJo. This subclass was overpowered in UA but the final release manages to capture the same feeling without being broken. Let’s go over the features one by one:

Arms of the Astral Self gives you a JoJo stand rush against everyone close to you, letting you recreate the flavor of JooJ without breaking action economy too much. But being able to prioritize Wisdom is huge to keep your Stunning Strike DC high while still getting good attack damage. But it’s still not OP since Dexterity is tied to your AC. It’s perhaps a little strong for multiclass builds (you can use your spellcasting modifier to attack) but multiclassing into Monk has always been kinda iffy, and Shillelagh has existed since the PHB was released. It should also be said that having Reach weapons as a Monk is huge, since you don’t have to get the Mobile feat to do hit-and-run.

Visage of the Astral Self is a nice social feature for a subclass that doesn’t normally get social features. Body of the Astral Self gives you more defense and offense. And Awakened Astral Self just further increases your defense and offense.

Excluding weeb shit this subclass just has awesome flavor. I’m actually planning on playing this subclass soon. (I’m playing a Cleric / Monk multiclass and I’m only level 2 in Monk currently.) I’m surprised myself that my first Astral Self character isn’t a fucking JoJo OC, considering that I already have a grand total of about 5 JoJo OCs.

Twilight Domain (Cleric)

Twilight domain also surprised me with how interesting it is. I don’t really have much to say other than it has a good mix of defensive, offensive, and utility abilities. Your subclass spell list is very strong for the most part. Eyes of Night and Vigilant Blessing are both just generally useful. Twilight Sanctuary isn’t insane but it’s consistent and it’s nice. Steps of Night is very strong and has a nice aesthetic. And Twilight Shroud is a good boost to your Channel Divinity.

The honest truth is that Twilight Domain feels kinda weak by comparison to some of the other Clerics. It’s no Forge, Grave, Life, or even Order Domain is all I can say. The fact that all your features only work in the dark is iffy if you don’t have shadows to sulk in. But along with just generally having good abilities the flavor is really what carries this subclass.

Here’s a meme:

Armorer (Artificer)

Artificer is one of my favorite classes so it’s no surprise that a new Artificer subclass excites me. Armorer fills a niche that I think Artificer didn’t have, and surprisingly it’s not the “tank” archetype. Armorer is still a good tank but the Infiltrator armor also gives you an option to play the subclass at range.

What I like is that Armorer is a subclass that doesn’t have a summon and puts more focus on your infusions. Armor Modifications is such a great feature that really brings the customization to Artificer. It truly lets you make your character your own instead of focusing on concrete class features. It doesn’t surpass Warlock Invocations for customizability, but it’s still great to get two personal magic items of your choice.

Yeah this subclass is going to be used a lot for min-maxing. Giving Wizards easy access to Heavy Armor is a little scary. But really if a Wizard wants to take a 3 level dip just for armor and the Guidance cantrip let them. Let the squishy boys have some AC for once.

Circle of Stars (Druid)

Full disclosure: I’ve been wanting to make a Stars Druid after the Rise of the Mountain expansion came to Legends of Runeterra. My first Druid had Telepathy (I took the Telepathic feat as a joke since I had a floating ability score) and it helped me realize how crazy a Druid with telepathy was for espionage. After seeing The Trickster celestial card from LoR I felt the artwork hit all three of my qualifiers for a character: class I want to play, great theme, and furry.

(Artwork by Kudos Productions. Made for Riot Games.)

My personal interest in this subclass aside: it has such a wonderful aesthetic that’s perfect for any character who wants an astral connection. The features are also great: Guiding Bolt is a strong spell to have as is Guidance, and having reactionary Bardic Inspirations is nice for a spellcaster.

But of course the main feature of Starry Form lets you still play the game normally while also benefitting from your Wild Shapes. Stars Druid is probably the second best Wildshape Druid despite not actually Wildshaping. Free Bonus Action attacks is huge, extra healing is always helpful, help with concentration (and Flight later) is really swell, and resisting all damage while not-Wildshaped is very helpful and lets you play as a pseudo Frontliner.

Stars Druid just does so many nice things and I think it’s a great subclass that can fit into any team comp. Druids are already insanely useful (arguably one of the strongest classes in 5e) so to have one that can do so much is massive.

Soulknife (Rogue)

Much like Phantom Rogue this subclass feels just really good in general. You can boost your skill checks and also add not-Bardic Inspiration to your attack rolls to do more guaranteed damage. However this subclass is by far the best Rogue for infiltration. Yes: even better than Assassin. (Though I’d perhaps suggest learning how to use a Disguise Kit.) 1 mile telepathy, teleportation, and invisibility all seem to be built for infiltration. If you have a DM who likes infiltration, espionage, and other encounters that don’t involve combat then Soulknife is by far the best subclass on offer.

But of course you aren’t picking Soulknife just to sneak around! The Psychic Blades are easily the most useful feature not just for Rogues, but for many builds! Having an unlimited supply of thrown weapon suddenly makes a lot more builds viable. My dreams of a ranged Paladin or ranged Barbarian are somewhat crushed by RAW, but there are still some niches that can be filled with unlimited throwing weapons.

Fun fact: you can’t do extra Rage damage with thrown weapons, but you can use Reckless Attack on thrown Finesse weapons. What’s more interesting is that you can’t use Divine Smite on thrown weapons, but you can use Improved Divine Smite on thrown weapons. But of course you can always talk to your DM to see what their final ruling is.

Rune Knight (Fighter)

You can become Giant which makes my stupid furry ass horny for Volibear and Nasus.

I mean I’ve gotta be honest like 75% of the reason I’m hyped for Rune Knight is to become a giant. But the runes are also very strong, giving the subclass some Battlemaster-esque gimmicks that have a bit more magical flavor than the other martials. I also really like that the subclass gets boosts to their skills, allowing you to help out of combat as a Fighter.

There isn’t much I can specifically praise about Rune Knight because the whole subclass is fantastic. It’s a very good mix of defense, offense, and utility both in and out of combat.

The Fathomless (Warlock)

Sheeyutu Nagakabouros. Nagakabouros-shee-shok.

Having played a Fathomless Warlock in UA I can safely say: it’s a good subclass. Having a consistent source of Bonus Action damage is nice, and being able to use it defensively is also great. Extra spells known as a Warlock is nice (and Evard’s Black Tentacles is a great spell!) And a teleport with a mile distance is rather crazy.

So much of the subclass is built around the tentacle which is great because the tentacle is such a great Bonus Action damage source. I really wish I had more to say but the power of this subclass starts and ends at how great having what amounts to an extra Eldritch Blast as a Bonus Action every turn is.

S TIER

College of Eloquence (Bard)

Yup. One of the best subclasses in this book was also in Theros. It helps that my favorite D&D character of all time was a College of Eloquence Bard.

This subclass got so much better since UA. Reliable Talent for Charisma checks at level 3 is fucking nuts! And on top of that Unsettling Words is a great way to soften enemies up for devastating spells. Universal Speech at 6th level pretty much singlehandedly enables the “peaceful” route with a lot of enemies, allowing you to talk your way out of problems.

But this bard is the king of inspiration! Unfailing Inspiration fixes the biggest problem with the Bard class, and Infectious Inspiration multiplies your Bardic Inspiration to a ridiculous degree. This Bard is just so reliably fantastic at Bard things, all while still being a full spellcaster that can make it harder for enemies to deal with spellcasters. It doesn’t get anything special from its subclass but you only got 3 features from your subclass as a Bard anyways. Baseline Bards are amazing and the insurance on your features from this subclass makes it all the better.

The Genie (Warlock)

If the fact that I stick Warlock levels into literally every build didn’t prove it I really like Warlocks, and Genie Warlock is easily the best Warlock subclass. Period. I actually have a post in the works where I go in-depth as to why Genie Warlock is so good. But in short:

Being able to choose between four subclass spell lists is crazy good. Like ridiculously good. A single level in this subclass gives you a Bag of Holding, a (single person) Leomund’s Tiny Hut, and a damage boost to all your attacks every turn!

6th level gives you damage resistance which is always good, but I seriously can not stress how ridiculous non-concentration Flight is for a Warlock. Your spell selection and spell slots are already so limited, and this subclass lets you get all the utility of flight pretty much whenever you please. Just think about how strong Aaracokra are and then consider that this is basically the Aaracokra’s only racial trait.

Sanctuary Vessel lets you upgrade your Leomund’s Tiny Hut power to affect the whole party. By this point you can indeed Long Rest in the lamp, and I need to stress how less suspicious a lone lamp is to a giant bubble of magical force. You could easily hide the lamp somewhere and (if the party is traveling light) be practically undetectable.

Oh and Limited Wish? So you know how the best feature of the Bard is their Magical Secrets? What if you got to choose (practically) any spell of 6th level or lower whenever you please? The only “problem” with Limited Wish is that you have to know every spell that you can pick from, but whenever “too much choice” is a problem in a game of infinite choices you know it’s a good feature.

Genie Warlocks do everything that Warlocks want to do so well. More damage on all your attacks to maximize the value of cantrip spamming, mobility to keep safe without spending spell slots, more high level spells, and giving the party a safe place to rest and recharge. I played a full Genie Warlock and absolutely loved it. I highly recommend this subclass to anyone who wants to play a Warlock. It’s just so versatile and useful I’m sure anyone can find a way to enjoy playing it.

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pickone1 · 3 years

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TOP weight loss in 2021 with guaranteed

On the off chance that you need to get in shape, choosing the correct weight loss program is significant to your prosperity. There is an apparently limitless number of weight loss programs accessible today, so how might you choose which one is ideal for you? This is an inquiry I see a great deal from the two people searching for the correct program to follow. It’s a befuddling circumstance to be in I can envision; needing to get in shape yet not realizing which program best serves your necessities. So what do you do?

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It’s totally okay to look for weight loss under any circumstance; since you need to feel alluring, feel positive about your body or draw in imminent love interests. Whatever your justification looking for weight loss, you must distinguish your REAL justification for this pursuit. When you’ve precisely recognized this explanation/reasons, rousing yourself toward that objective/objectives is a considerably more charming cycle. When this occurs, the weight loss measure isn’t such a huge amount about the weight as much as it’s about you! Furthermore, that is by and large how it ought to be.

2-Decide responsibility limits

This idea is maybe the most significant of all. I have seen individuals burn through a large number of dollars on weight loss programs just to surrender that exertion only days into the program. They over-submitted themselves and couldn’t finish. Each weight loss program shares a couple of things practically speaking. Every one of these things will change from one program to another, however, the essential parts remain:

Recurrence — how regularly you should exercise

Force — how much exertion and power you should place into your program

Time — how long you should practice every exercise

Type — the kind of exercise(s) you will do during a program

This really has a typical name. We in the wellness business consider this the F.I.T.T standard. Past these fundamentals which are normally connected with the activity parts of your program there will likewise be wholesome prerequisites to any quality weight loss program that fits consummately into a similar abbreviation:

Recurrence — portrays how regularly you will eat every day

Power — how inflexible or careless your eating routine is

Time — how long you should eat thusly

Type — the sort of food and nourishment philosophy being utilized

These will be available in any very much-created weight loss program. Your prosperity is subject to what you are practically willing and ready to focus on concerning every one of these components. Let’s be honest, buying a weight loss program doesn’t ensure a positive outcome, you should follow the program to accomplish results. For example, if your program requires a severe eating routine with seven days of serious exercise every week except you’re not a restrained weight watcher and have never worked out, this theoretical program most likely isn’t the one that will serve your necessities best. Maybe you need a program that has a more formative methodology and permits you more food and exercise choices.

3-Be careful with programs that guarantee to be for everyone

I’m not saying that there aren’t programs that could profit anybody and everybody, except I am saying that you are bound to be effective when you pursue a program that is aimed at individuals very much like you. Projects that endeavor to take into account everybody is regularly intended to create deals more than results. These projects will in general be requesting, have inflexible eating regimen assumptions and regularly lead to injury for those not set up to deal with the requests the program requires. Get your work done and discover a program that is planned in light of you.

At the point when I started building up my Body Fat Meltdown weight loss program for ladies many individuals disclosed to me I’d make more deals if I would just market it to everybody; men, ladies, more established, more youthful, everyone. While this is without a doubt evident I couldn’t morally do that since I realize that every one of these gatherings of individuals has their own one-of-a-kind arrangement of necessities and wants with regards to actual wellness and weight loss. In this way, I built up the Body Fat Meltdown program explicitly for recently roused ladies needing to get more fit without requiring a rec center enrollment so they could work out every day for thirty minutes or less any place and at whatever point they needed. I needed it to be ideal for the at-home exerciser or for ladies who need to exercise with insignificant hardware while voyaging. It is expected to remove all reasons for a recently propelled weight loss member, which is what it does. By giving accurate eating regimens and exercise directions the Body Fat Meltdown program guarantees a good outcome if a lady will just follow it for ninety days. This is an illustration of a program that has a focus on the crowd, a particular reason, and a significant technique for a movement that will lead this particular gathering of members toward their weight loss objectives.

4-Ensure the program is testing, however bearable

Speak the truth about the sort of program your way of life will permit you to participate in. Wellness is an advancement so where you are in life presently may not be the place where you are down the line, however, you should have the option to deal with your weight loss program inside the current limits that your life gives. For example, if you are a single parent with two little kids at home, you presumably won’t adhere to a multi-day program where you need to eat Brussel fledgling and cabbage soup at every dinner while practicing an hour multiple times every day. It’s simply not economical. Each program has its sustenance and exercise necessities so it’s dependent upon you to ensure that those prerequisites will move you to improve however that additionally fit into your present living plan.

5-The best weight loss program is one you’ll wrap up

The best program on the planet is futile if you don’t do it. I know this direct. I’ve has ladies pursue my Body Fat Meltdown weight loss program and continue to shed 24 pounds in the initial thirty days. Then again I’ve had ladies join and never at any point endeavor the principal preparing program yielding an aftereffect of precisely nothing. The best weight loss program you can put resources into is one you will take an interest in, be tested by, and finish. I can name in any event 100 weight loss programs all things being equal that have delivered stunning outcomes for their members. Alternately, I can guarantee you that all of those projects additionally have individuals who bought, at that point scarcely took part, quit, and went through well-deserved cash for no outcomes at all. Eventually, the outcomes get a start and end with you. They are subject to the components we examined above and are totally controlled by your investment and fruition of the program.

Take these five factors and use them to filter out the huge wild of weight loss programs accessible to you. Discover a program where you are focused on members, one that you can reasonably take an interest in and support beginning to end. If you do these things I solidly trust you will be fruitful in your push to get in shape and look and feel incredible.

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overthinkingkdrama · 4 years

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Jona’s Top 10 Dramas of 2019

A couple words about how I do these lists. Firstly, I only count as “2019 dramas” shows that finished airing in 2019, therefore dramas that started airing in 2018 but finished in the early months of 2019 have been included in my process, but dramas that are currently airing and will finish in 2020 have not been included. Secondly, this list is more based on my subjective experience with each of these dramas than my objective assessment on things like acting, writing and production values, though naturally I take the latter into account when forming my opinions.

Also: Yay! This year I managed to write a full review on every drama that wound up in my top ten, so feel free to click the link on each title and check those out if you want to read my detailed thoughts.

10. Hotel Del Luna

I have a somewhat Stockholm Syndrome-y relationship with Hong Sisters dramas. Though a lot of them are not excellent, or stumble a bit in the execution, I can’t seem to stop watching them. And yes, I’ve seen them all. Something about their particular blend of fantasy, romance and camp just works for me. I do think Hotel Del Luna plays to their strengths. Somewhat like if they got to take a second run at Master’s Sun but with their dream budget, and it’s just fun. This drama is gorgeous to look at. However, it is Lee Ji Eun, aka IU, who carries the entire drama on her lovely shoulders with her mesmerizing presence as Jang Man Wol.

Bottom Line: It shouldn’t be this way, but it’s so rare to get a mainstream drama where the female lead is allowed to be truly dark and flawed, or for a drama to fully focus on its heroine’s journey through the whole run.

9. Encounter

I was somewhat disappointed by the ending of this drama, and I think that might have made me unduly harsh when I looked back at it earlier in the year. However, I got the chance to rewatch episodes with a friend and was reminded of the soft, romantic escapism of this drama. Ultimately that’s the reason this ended up in the list. I like that it plays the rich woman/poor man, noona-romance tropes entirely straight and I liked the quixotic fairy tale it was unapologetically trying to sell me. Park Bo Gum and Song Hye Gyo are a noona-romance dream team up that I’m glad I got to see at least once in my lifetime.

Bottom Line: If you don’t like your dramas slow-paced and highly sentimental then this might not be the show for you, but I can appreciate a drama that knows exactly what kind of show it is and tries to do one thing well.

8. The Light in Your Eyes

If there’s any common theme to these favorites lists in previous years, it’s that they usually include dramas that took me by surprise and did something I haven’t seen before. The Light In Your Eyes fits that description so well, not just because of oddly dark tone or the quirky premise it presents in the first episodes, but because it’s a drama dedicated to showcasing the talents of the veteran actress, Kim Hye Ja, with whom the lead character shares a name. Of the dramas on the list this one made me cry the hardest.

Bottom Line: The Light In Your Eyes is a drama that has a greater emotional coherence than it does logical sense. In fact, if you think about the plot too hard it falls apart entirely. But it feels true, and that’s why it hit me so hard.

7. Search WWW

In my review I called Search a “female power fantasy” and I still think that’s a good description. It’s also sexy romantic fantasy, twice a noona romance, and a corporate drama focused on the very contemporary issues of powerful search engine companies and how they affect the information we see and the way we view the world. I think any of those is an interesting enough angle to make a drama about, maybe several dramas. If this show has one major flaw, it might be trying to wear too many hats at once. But I salute the creators for trying to make us something different than the typical pretty boy chaebol story, and giving us not one but three female characters filling those typically male roles.

Bottom Line: I do believe this drama deserves more love and respect than it got from a fandom that at least in theory cares about women’s stories. But I also understand why a lot of people didn’t connect with the lead character or the business stuff. But for me there was something about the lead couple that rang true and resonated with me.

6. WATCHER

Every time I watch a thriller, I’m hoping for something like WATCHER. Something with deep, complex, gray characters and a story full of twists and turns that keeps me engaged and guessing from episode one until the finale. Add on top of that a powerful cast who can really do justice to these substantial characters, you’ve got a winning recipe. OCN produces a lot of dramas in this genre, and they seem to be more prone to produce sequels than most other networks. Unfortunately, that also means a lot of the dramas they make feel paint-by-numbers and empty on the inside. WATCHER is one of those shows that reminds me why I keep coming back to this network and this kind of story time and again.

Bottom Line: This is one of those dramas that has you second guessing yourself even when they come right out and give you the answer, keeping you in a perpetual state of distrust along with the characters. But it’s built on the strong backbone of complicated and dynamic character relationships, which is why it is one of this year’s best.

5. Be Melodramatic

The higher I get up this list the harder time I have boiling down my thoughts on these dramas to one pithy paragraph. Often even I don’t know what kind of dramas are going to steal my heart. I have a particular weakness for dramas that can make me both laugh and cry, and then laugh through the tears. Dramas like Go Back Couple and Matrimonial Chaos that have deep heartache folded into the shenanigans. I love a funny drama. I like to laugh, but that doesn’t count for much unless I really care about the characters and their lives at the end of the day. That’s what makes me go from liking a drama to loving it, and that’s ultimately what I’m going to remember about a drama when it’s over. Be Melodramatic is special for the way it deals with heavy subjects in a gentle and lighthearted way, and somehow without losing the emotional impact.

Bottom Line: Be Melodramatic is a drama with tongue firmly planted in cheek, lots of laughs, lots of clever dialogue as well as a meta look at the drama industry from the inside, but the reason it works so well is the vein of heart, love and loss that runs all through the story.

4. One Spring Night

It’s so gratifying when a drama delivers exactly the experience you hoped it would. One Spring Night was a drama that ended up on my radar on the strength of the previews and posters, which promised me understated, romantic slice-of-life. I’d really enjoyed Han Ji Min in The Light in Your Eyes and have been fond of Jung Hae In since While You Were Sleeping. The pairing immediately seemed to have potential, but because the drama was picked up by Netflix, in the US I had to wait until it finished airing before I could give it a shot. A lot of the time when that happens, I see enough of the drama through gifs and screencaps that my interest fades. In this case I was only more intrigued. I’ve still never watched Something In The Rain but watching this drama has made me consider that might have been an oversight on my part. And yet I worry that if I watched it now I wouldn’t be able to help unfavorably comparing it to One Spring Night. This drama is truly something special.

Bottom Line: Because of the restrained, faithful realism of this drama and the two leads who seamlessly embody their characters, this drama has the almost voyeuristic quality of peeking into something intimate and private. It’s a palpable and thoroughly involving love story.

3. Nokdu Flower

I can hardly recommend this underrated gem of a show enough. I know nearly every historical gets compared either favorably or otherwise to Six Flying Dragons, which is kind of the recent high-water mark of sageuks, and I’m going to do that again here because Nokdu Flower is really the first historical drama I’ve watched since SFD that is at the same level of quality. One thing that sticks out about my experience watching both dramas is getting actual shivers watching these charismatic leaders rally their followers around them, and understanding at least in some small part why someone would leave behind everything they knew, pick up arms, and risk their lives for an ideal. Nokdu Flower captures the fearful power of revolutionary ideas in the hands of common people, but doesn’t descend into mere jingoism or sand off the rough edges or try to white wash the dark parts of human nature while it’s at it.

Bottom Line: At its most basic level Nokdu Flower is a story of revolution, and one of flawed characters either finding their humanity or having it burned out of them in the crucible of war. As that description would suggest it’s not an easy watch, but it’s a good and worthwhile one and definitely one any sageuk fan should check out.

2. My Country: The New Age

Compared to the far more traditional and grounded Nokdu Flower, My Country is almost fantastical in tone and at times eschews logic and realism for set pieces, sword fights and close range shotgun blasts of pathos. That’s probably why I love it. The larger-than-life sensationalism of this drama is what pushes it higher on this list than the carefully crafted Nokdu Flower, because this drama appealed to me on a more primal way. It’s so unrestrained and epic in everything from the set design, the soundtrack, the cinematography to the characters themselves and the performances of the actors playing them. Lurid, melodramatic, passionate, intense, suspenseful, romantic, raw, angsty, dark...I’ve basically run out of new adjectives to use while describing this drama elsewhere on this site. Basically, My Country is my id on a plate. Bon appetit.

Bottom Line: While there are definitely misguided and flawed elements to the writing and execution in this drama, somehow all of that is swept away in the sheer pleasure of watching it. If it had been specifically designed to appeal to every narrative kink I have, they couldn’t have made a more perfect drama for my tastes.

1. Children of Nobody

I finished my favorite drama of 2019 back in January, and then got to wait around 11 and a half months to see if anything else I watched last year would knock Children of Nobody from the top spot. It’s a mixed blessing to peak that early in the year. On the one hand, there was nowhere to go but down from here. On the other, I’ve had a lot of time to digest this very heavy show, which is something I definitely needed. I mentioned in my original review of this drama that each of the characters is an iceberg, so much more going on beneath the surface than what we can see. And what I’ve realized over the course of the past year is that the whole drama is like that, in a way. It’s an iceberg of a story, and I was able to pour a lot of myself into it, to try to understand it, and that’s part of the reason it was such an emotional watch for me. I don’t know when or if I’m going to be able to rewatch Children of Nobody, but I hope I can do it some day because I feel certain I would appreciate it even more upon a second viewing. The fact that this is a murder mystery and a thriller is almost incidental to the emotional core of the story, which is deeper and more lingering than that. The secrets, once revealed, do not diminish the story but only turn it slightly so that you can see it from a different angle.

Bottom Line: This drama is certainly not going to be for everyone. I don’t know if I would say it was underrated so much as it’s niche. The difficult subject matter is naturally going to narrow its appeal. But I do think that dramas that require the most from me, mentally and emotionally, are often the ones that stick with me the longest and make me bend and grow as a person.

I sure hope you’ve enjoyed my top 10 list this year and I wish you joy, success and profound wellbeing in 2020. Thank you again--and thank you always--for following me. I’ve got great things planned for us this year.

Jona

#kdramas 2019 #end of year reviews #top 10 #children of nobody #my country #my country: the new age #nokdu flower #one spring night #be melodramatic #melo is my nature #WATCHER #search: www #the light in your eyes #encounter #boyfriend #hotel del luna

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kdramalifee · 4 years

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What are your most favorite/recommended dramas? I've honestly only have watched 4 cause never know where to start once I finish one. Thank you!! 💕

Sorry of the late reply ❤

Here’s a “few” dramas that I enjoyed. Some of them fall into more than one category so I’ve written what categories I feel they fall into for each one. I’m going to write the amount of episodes for each show, but I’ll only be counting by (approx.) hour, so if the drama has 32 episodes where each “episode” is half an hour, I’ll write it as 16 episodes. Also some of these have several names, so I’ve just used the one they use on mydramalist. I’ve bolded my favourites.

This list might seem a bit daunting (as it is quite long) but I recommend looking at the specific genres you know you enjoy and just pick one you think seems interesting (there’s no shame in dropping a drama if it doesn’t grip you). If you can’t decide which one to start first, send me a message with the ones you’re trying to choose between and I’ll help you decide ^^

Action/suspense/Crime:

Bad Guys: 11 episodes, Action, Thriller, Psychological. A police detective gathers a team of criminals to combat crime in exchange for reducing their sentence. Throughout the drama, secrets are revealed.

Class of Lies: 16 episodes, Suspense, School, Mystery, Law. A highly successful lawyer falls from grace after the fallout from one of his cases. He fakes his identity to get the position as a teacher at the school connected to this case in an attempt to uncover the truth and save his reputation.

Cross: 16 episodes, Medical, Suspense. To get revenge for the death of his father, Kang In Kyu becomes a (highly skilled) doctor/surgeon and gets a job at the prison where his father’s killer resides in order to kill him.

Doubtful Victory: 20 episodes, Mystery, Crime. A man who was wrongfully sentenced to death when he was younger escapes from prison and fakes his identity as a police officer to help prove his innocence. (Just a heads up: I don’t think a lot of people liked this drama (it gets a bit draggy in the middle). I liked it, but I think that’s an unpopular opinion)

Kill It: 12 episodes, Action, Thriller. Kim Soo Hyun is a veterinarian who is also a professional killer. One day he is hired in exchange for information about his past. At the same time a detective is trying to find Kim Soo Hyun. They both uncover a mystery regarding their shared past.

Healer: 20 episodes, Romance, Action, Mystery. "Healer” is a special kind of night courier, that gets his clients whatever they want, as long as it doesn't involve murder. He is hired by a famous reporter to collect information on a second-rate tabloid writer. He begins to uncover the mystery of his own shared past with the two reporters, thus putting them all in danger. (This is a very popular drama that a lot of people have seen, so if you haven’t seen it I would recommend it.)

Mad Dog: 16 episodes, Action, Investigation, Mystery. A group calling themselves “Mad Dog” fights against insurance scams. They start working with Kim Min Joon, the brother of the man who crashed a plane killing the child and wife of the leader of Mad Dog. They try to uncover the truth behind the plane crash.

Player: 14 episodes, Action, Investigation. A private investigation team consisting of a swindler, a fighter, an elite hacker, and a talented driver is asked to take back property hidden away by criminals.

Save Me: 16 episodes, Psychological, Suspense. Following the failure of her father's business, Sang Mi and her family move to Muji-gun where they have no friends or relatives. After a tragic event, the family is taken in by the “Spiritual Father” resulting in them being trapped in a cult. Four young men try to save her.

Stranger: 16 episodes, Investigation, Mystery. Hwang Shi Mok had brain surgery when he was a child, which caused him to lack emotion. Now, Hwang Shi Mok works as a prosecutor. He meets Police Lieutenant Han Yeo Jin at a murder crime scene and they work together to eradicate corruption at the prosecutor's office and solve a serial murder case.

The Guardians: 16 episodes, Action, Thriller. After the murder of her daughter, Jo Soo Ji joins forces with a few other people to monitor criminals 24 hours a day and rescue potential victims before the crime is committed. Together with these people she fights to get justice for her daughter, who’s murderer is still free.

WATCHER: 16 episodes, Action, Suspense, Investigation. Kim Young Goon became a police officer after his father was imprisoned for the murder of his mother. The detective who imprisoned his father is the leader of the internal affairs investigation team and gets Young Goon to join in order to fight against corruption and uncover the truth behind the tragic incident.

Fantasy/sci-fi:

Angels Last Mission: Love: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Lee Yeon Seo is the prima ballerina, but after an accident she has to give up her dream. After her parents' sudden death, she doesn’t trust anyone since there are a lot of people lurking around her and her inherited money. Kim Dan is an optimistic, carefree angel who is always getting into trouble. In order to return to heaven, he is tasked with a mission to find true love for the talented but emotionally distant ballerina

Are You Human Too?: 18 episodes, Romace, Sci-fi. After loosing her son to her father in law, a woman creates an android to replace him. Years later the android called Nam Shin III must pretend to be the son of the rich family when the real Nam Shin falls into a coma.

Chicago Typewriter: 16 episodes, Fantasy/Supernatural, Romance. The story of a popular writer suffering from writers block, a fan of said author and a literal GHOST writer who starts writing for the main character. In a past life, these three people were all members of the resistance wanting to free Korea from the Japanese occupation. The story is set in modern times and in the 1930′s.

Circle: 12 episodes, Alien, Sci-fi, Mystery. This drama is set in both 2017 and the year 2037. In 2017 we follow the story of a college student working together with a woman that looks identical to a girl he knew as a child to investigate suicides that she insists are actually murders. In 2037 technology has advanced to the point where you can control human emotion (creating a city without crime). A detective enters this city in order to investigate a missing persons case from 2017. (The first half of each episode is set in 2017, the other half in 2037).

Duel: 16 episodes, Sci-fi, Crime, Suspense. After his daughter gets kidnapped a detective tries all he can to get her back. Suddenly the culprit shows up without any memories, denying that he has anything to do with the case. They work together to find the detectives daughter and uncover secrets along the way.

EXIT: 2 episodes (drama special), Sci-fi, Psychological. Kang Soo is a loan shark that tries to get by day to day in his depressing reality. No matter how hard he tries, he can't escape the nightmare of his reality, and when he was about to give up on his life, he sees a flier asking, "Do you want to become happy?" He goes to the research center, however, he learns that happiness comes at a steep price of 300,000 dollars. He decides to steal the money.

Extraordinary You: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy, School. Eun Dan Oh, a 17 year-old high-school student, experiences gaps in her memory and eventually comes to the realization that she’s living in a comic book. Not only that, but she is also a secondary character who’s supposed to die later on in the story due to a heart condition. She decides to change her fate and defy the writer to get a happy ending for herself.

Go Back Couple: 12 episodes, Fantasy, Life, Romance. Choi Ban Do and Ma Jin Joo are both 38-years-old and a married couple. Choi Ban Do has been burdened with being the breadwinner and Ma Jin Joo is a housewife with low self-esteem. Even though they loved each other when they married, they now hate each other. They both regret marrying at such a young age. The couple travels through time and finds themselves as 20-year-old university students when they met for the first time.

He is Psychometric: 16 episodes, Fantasy, Romance, Mystery, Comedy. After losing his parents in a fire, Lee Ahn acquires the power of psychometry, the ability to read a person or an object's past through physical contact, and he decides to use it to take bad people down. While he does not know how to control his power yet, he meets Yoon Jae In who tries her best to hide her painful secrets. Together with his foster guardian, prosecutor Kang Sung Mo, and the latter's colleague, investigator Eun Ji Soo, they team up to solve an elusive case that has been haunting the lives of Ahn, Sung Mo, and Jae In.

Life on Mars: 16 episodes, Fantasy, Mystery, Suspense. As leader of a crime investigation team, Han Tae Joo has propelled his career and risen through the ranks by trusting data over all else. One day, while investigating a serial murder case, he has an accident. When he wakes up, he suddenly finds himself in the winter of 1988. He doesn't know why, but he's now a detective appointed to work at a police station in a small city. To get back to the present day, Han Tae Joo tries to solve the case.

Signal: 16 episodes, Mystery, Fantasy, Crime. Fifteen years ago, a young girl was kidnapped on the way from school, and Park Hae Yeong, who was an elementary school student at that time, witnessed the crime. A few days later, the girl was found dead, and the police were not able to find the culprit. As time went by, Hae Yeong started distrusting the police. Fifteen years later, Hae Yeong is now a police officer and criminal profiler. One day, he finds a walkie-talkie that allows him to get in contact with Detective Lee Jae Han who is in the past. They then set out on a journey to solve cold cases.

Splash Splash Love: 2 episodes (Drama Special), Romance, Fantasy. Dan Bi is a high school senior who has given up on math. On the day she is about to take the KSAT for college, she is transported back into the past during a freak rain shower. She finds herself hundreds of years in the past at the height of the Joseon Kingdom, which is suffering from a severe drought. She encounters King Lee Do who yearns to learn advanced mathematics and falls in love with him.

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Bong Soon is a woman with supernatural strenght who pines after a childhood crush who now works as a police officer. She is approached by the CEO of a gaming company who has a distrust for the police and she starts working as a bodyguard for him. (There are some problematic elements to this show, but the romance is really sweet)

The Guest: 16 episodes, Supernatural, Horror, Mystery. It centers around three characters who had their lives ruined by a demon called “Son” (the guest) when they were kids. Yoon Hwa Pyung is a psychic that can see ghosts and who was once possessed by “Son” causing his mother and his grandmother to die and his father to try to kill him. Kang Gil Young is a detective whose mother was killed by the demon and Choi Yoon/ Mateo is a catholic priest that exorcises demons and whose brother was once possessed by “Son” causing him to kill his family. They band together to find and stop “Son”.

You Who Came From the Stars: 21 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Do Min Joon is an alien who landed on Earth 400 years ago during the Joseon Dynasty period. He possesses a near perfect appearance and enhanced physical abilities involving his vision, hearing and speed. Later, he discovers that he has three months left on Earth. And that is when he meets Cheon Song Yi, the biggest Hallyu star in Korea.

Romance:

Come and Hug Me: 16 episodes, Suspense, Romance, Melodrama. When they were children, Yoon Na Moo and Gil Nak Won were each others first love. They are forced to break apart when Na Moo's father Yoon Hee Jae, a psychopath serial killer, murders Nak Won's parents. 12 years later, Jae Yi has become a popular actress and Do Jin is now an experienced detective trying to repent for his fathers sins. They meet again and start to develop a relationship.

Descendants of the Sun: 16 episodes, Romance, Medical, Action. Kang Mo Yeon works as a cardiothoracic surgeon and Yoo Shi Jin is the Captain and team leader of Alpha Team. They both get sent into an area of conflict, and start to devolop a relationship.

Hospital Ship: 20 episodes, Romance, Medical. This drama is about army doctors aboard a hospital ship, which is a floating hospital that serves people who live on remote islands. Eun Jae, a cold perfectionist surgeon whose fast-track career was derailed, starts working at the ship.

Just Between Lovers: 16 episodes, Romance, Melodrama. A shopping center collapses killing many people. When he was 15, Lee Gang Doo dreamed of playing for the Korean national soccer team, but a serious injury sustained as a result of the accident destroys those dreams. In the years after the accident, Gang Doo spends his days fighting through physical and emotional pain, struggling to support his sister and pay back a hefty debt, and working as a construction worker. When she was 15, Ha Moon Soo lived through the accident, and years later she is still plagued by nightmares. She lives above the women’s bath house that her mother runs and specializes in making architectural models that are an important safety element in any major building planning process. Years after the incident, a construction project is due to kick-off at the accident site, and they both get involved in the project, causing them to develop a relationship while struggling with the painful memories it brings back.

Shopping King Louie: 16 episodes, Romance. The story of “Shopaholic Louie” revolves around a handsome shopaholic named Louie, who is the successor of a vast business empire but becomes homeless after suffering from amnesia. Meanwhile, Koh Bok Shil, a country girl who lives a life that is worlds apart from the rich and famous, encounters Louie in Seoul. They develop a relationship.

Thirty but Seventeen: 16 episodes, Romance. Woo Seo Ri, a violin prodigy at 17 who was about to study in Germany, got into a bus accident and fell into a coma waking up 13 years later. Mentally she is still only 17, while physically she is now 30. Due to a trauma he experienced 13 years before, Gong Woo Jin does not want to have a relationship with others. They get to know each other and try and open the door to the happiness that they once thought had been closed to them.

When the Camellia Blooms: 20 episodes, Romance, Thriller, Life. Dong Baek is a single mother living in the small town of Ongsan. She runs the bar-restaurant Camellia, while also taking care of her son Pil Gu. The people of Ongsan frequently gossip about Dong Baek. She grew up as an orphan, is a single mother and runs a bar where many of the men in Ongsan frequent. Regardless of what the locals may whisper about Dong Baek, local police officer Hwang Yong Shik is deeply in love with her. Meanwhile, Dong Baek's ex-boyfriend Kang Jong Ryeol suddenly reappears in her life. He is a famous baseball player, that hid their relationship when they dated. While Dong Baek tries to find happiness, something truly sinister lurks in the background. A serial killer roams Ongsan and Dong Baek may be a target.

Historical:

Kingdom: 6 episodes, Action, Historical, Zombie. The King falls ill to smallpox and rumors start to spread that he has actually died. Meanwhile, Crown Prince Lee Chang is labeled a traitor by the Haewon Cho Clan, the clan of the current pregnant Queen and her father, Chief State Councillor Cho Hak Joo. While trying to uncover the mystery of what happened to his father, the Crown Prince goes with his guard, Moo Young, to Dongnae to look for the physician that treated his father, only to be stuck with Assistant Physician Seo Bi and a mysterious man named Young Shin in a village plagued with a terrifying disease.

My Country: 16 episodes, Historical, Action, Romance, Tragedy. Two friends ends up on opposite sides in a conflict involving the fight for the crown. Confronted with betrayal the two of them have to learn how to fight against their best friend all while trying to stay good in a cruel world.

The Tale of Nokdu: 16 episodes, Action, Romance, Comedy. One day, Nok Du’s father and older brother are attacked by a group of female assassins. Jeon Nok Du chases after one of the assassins to the capital. To find out why his family was attacked, Jeon Nok Du disguises himself as a woman and enters a widow village where the assassins are hiding. There, he meets Dong Dong Ju who is an apprentice to become a gisaeng.

Misc:

Age of Youth: 12 episodes, Friendship, Life. Five girls in their twenties come to live together in a house called "Belle Epoque. As the girls feel a bond of sympathy and become closer, they also deal with their personal issues as they live out their eventful twenties. The drama follows their struggles and incidents dealing with relationships - within their circles, with dating, and with each other - and a variety of events they are experiencing including credits, part-time jobs, drinking, hopes and dreams. (This drama also has a second season)

Avengers Social Club: 12 episodes, Friendship, Life. Features three women from different walks of life coming together for revenge: a fish store ajumma who envisioned a better life for herself, a housewife, and a chaebol’s daughter who was raised like a delicate greenhouse flower. They’re an unlikely trio who would never otherwise meet, but they join forces to carry out their individual revenges. Although they start out as co-conspirators, along the way they’ll build a strong friendship.

Chief Kim: 20 episodes, Business, Comedy. Kim Sung Ryong is a skilled accountant who works for gangsters. He makes his way into a company called TQ Group as a middle manager in the accounting department with the intention of embezzling money from the company. As he contends with hot-shot accountant Yoon Ha Kyung, financial prodigy Seo Yul and peppy intern Hong Ga Eun, Sung Ryong finds himself embroiled in office politics and notices other shenanigans by those in power that threaten to bring down the company. Sung Ryong slowly comes to realize that he’d rather fight against corporate corruption and fight for employees’ rights than complete the mission he originally came to do.

Miss Hammurabi: 16 episodes, Law, Romance. Park Cha Oh Reum is a newly appointed judge who is assigned to the 44th Civil Affairs Department at the Seoul Central District. She is always on the lookout for injustice and is able to profoundly empathize with others. Compared to her, Im Ba Reun is a cool-headed man of principle with the creed of ‘Court that is equal to all’, and he is displeased with junior judge Park Cha Oh Reum who is overly sympathetic when it comes to cases. (There is one moment in the first episode (I believe) where something problematic occurs, but I think its only that one thing).

Psychopath Diary: 16 episodes, Comedy, Mystery. Yook Dong Sik is a 34-year-old office worker who is so weak and timid that he is used by everybody around him. After an incident, he becomes the scapegoat of his company, and so facing losing his job and his family turning their back on him, he decides to commit suicide. While doing so, he unexpectedly stumbles across a murder scene, but gets into an accident while running from the murderer. He wakes up with amnesia with the psychopath's diary in his possession. With no clues to his true nature other than the diary,and his fragmented memory lining up with the diary entry, he begins to believe that he is in fact a psychopath serial killer.

Happy watching!

#ask #arminartlet #kdrama #im starting to realise i might have seen too many kdramas #and yes after a while i got tired of writing the synopsis so i just copied them from mydramalist #and just edited the ones i felt were too long

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rigelmejo · 4 years

Text

i’ve been watching Handsome Siblings on netflix only in chinese to just like. see where i’m at.

and now that i’m on ep 4 it would feel kind of weird to suddenly switch back to english subs ok, for one.

but anyway like general level-wise: i am pretty much at where i can follow a lot of the gist of scenes even if i don’t pause to translate - but then i’m going to be relying on visual context a lot more. which is fine, it means i can go watch a show with no english subs to rely on Ever and at least follow along.

i do notice that if i PAUSE, i can catch the specifics of a lot more scenes. There’s a scene where the two princess sisters are talking to their nephew (who is a spitting image of Jiang Feng), and then after he leaves - discussing telling him to go take a mission to kill Xiao Yu’er, and then when he leaves the two princesses discuss their plan. I paused over and over after EVERY line that episode, because I really wanted to know the specifics of what they were saying. A lot of lines I could read, and there were a lot of one-words-in-a-sentence i had to look up for a more precise understanding. Same with a scene later in the town said-nephew and his girl kickass companions go to - i could follow the gist, but paused after some lines (and looked up a couple words) for more specific details.

I will say that the more characters you learn, the easier life is. Really! The more characters I know, the easier my gist-guess is right, the easier remembering new words (made up of known characters) is, and looking up new words is VASTLY easier because I know their pinyin and can look them up faster than drawing.

If you’re going to do this: I’d still recommend using googletranslate to look up multiple characters you don’t know/phrases, since you can draw and easily get the correct result looked up. I’d recommend pleco if you know the pinyin, or if its a single word (because pleco’s definitions are more thorough and explanatory than googletranslate’s), or if it might be an idiom.

I would recommend that if you like watching stuff on the computer, to get the learn-with-netflix dual subtitle add on, and just click your subtitles for a definition on-the-video-itself instead of needing to open an app like me.

---

I am immensely excited and happy that I can watch a chinese show with no english and follow the gist now. That is a huge amount of progress for me compared with August 2019 when I started (and only knew ‘ni hao/wo hen hao’ and the numbers ;w; ). I am so proud of where I’ve gotten to. I definitely think really focusing on increasing known frequent words helps a lot. (Also, reading a grammar guide - grammar is again becoming understandable, so idk my brain is just acclimating again i guess). I’m going to keep focusing on frequent words, and the 2,000 most common characters, for a while and hopefully eventually this payoff will translate to reading as well.

If you DO happen to want to try watching a chinese show without english and testing yourself/studying, I have some mild recommendations you might take into consideration.

1. If it’s too difficult, do it a little, then come back to it in a few weeks, repeat. This task really only gets enjoyable once you understand enough to be ‘comfortable’ with the remaining ambiguity you still don’t comprehend. That is going to be different for different people. I am comfortable with a pretty high amount of ambiguity/lack of understanding, so I can at least try to watch even stuff-i-barely-grasp at least a little for practice until my brain feels fried. But I’ve been trying this for months... its only NOW that my brain feels relatively okay just watching without pausing, without feeling Completely overwhelmed. And if you do intend to watch without pausing much, you’ll have some degree of not-understanding-everything. Likewise, if you plan to pause the show (and how much you plan to pause it) should be tolerable for you as well. If you have to pause everything, understand everything - do you know enough words to do that in a timely enough manner to get THROUGH an episode? If it takes you a long time, are you willing to intensively focus and look things up that entire time? Basically - what is your tradeoff between you being able to pause and focus intensively on looking things up, versus you being able to watch without pausing and interpret from the words you know/context only. Whatever balance is most enjoyable/bearable for you is when this will start being something that’s easier to do regularly, instead of only occasionally as practice. At least, that’s how it was for me. I’m only finally at a point where I can do this regularly - before I could only do this for maybe 10-20 minute chunks of time occasionally.

2. Pick a genre of show/material you are going to engage in frequently. If you’re ALWAYS watching case-type shows, those words and those scenes will be more familiar to you and easier for you to interpret from context and with less looking things up. If you try this with a wildly different kind of show, you may know MANY less words and many scenes may be harder for you to comprehend the gist of. I watch a TON of case type shows so they’re very easy for me to see and pick up words I’m familiar with, single out the parts that are ‘important explanation’ versus ‘some crowd saying unimportant WOW oh No how Horrible’ type lines. So i can cherry pick important things to pause and look up words for, and guess at what kind of line i’m trying to interpret (i can guess if it’s about a case, an emotional discussion, a simple ‘lets do X’ statement etc - because i’m familiar with the plot type). In a similar vein - an easier show/material to do this with, may well be a show you’ve already watched in your native language/with your native language. For all the same reasons - you will be much more familiar with the context. I could in theory watch Guardian again (which i’ve rewatched... a lot) and I would probably follow the plot very easily. But I like a challenge too much apparently, and I’d rather practice with things I can’t fall-back on my existing knowledge for as much. A show I’ve never seen has much less I can rely on for context, BUT the trade off is I can really clearly test how well i’m comprehending the plot and lines - because they are all completely new to me, so I either comprehend or I clearly do not understand what’s going on/obviously misinterpret. So it’s a very quick way for me to see if I’m achieving anything or not. Whereas if I was watching a show I already saw, I might learn new words noticably, but I wouldn’t be able to tell if I’m getting better at understanding overall plot with no english to rely on (since I already saw it before with english).

3. If you’re like me - maybe pick a show either heavy on action, or heavy on daily life. While I am familiar with case-type shows... I generally think (for me) they’re harder to follow when your existing vocab knowledge isn’t high enough to follow it... They’re big on mysteries, on plots that are actually not what they appear, and surprises. They’re big on ‘strategies’ and I find for myself, strategies are kind of hard to follow when I know less words. In contrast: if you pick a daily-life type show, you’re more likely to either know the words or NEED to know the words at some point because they’ll be useful to you. And the scenes should be relatively easy to comprehend visually even when you don’t know the words. (My caveat being - if you want the language specifically FOR understanding certain genres, by all means go for the topics you’ll actually be using - if you’re gonna read a ton of wuxia, or case-stuff etc, then go for stuff you’ll Actually Use which might well be THEM). For me... my end goal is to be able to read creative fiction, so wuxia settings and fantastical settings and mystery-words and period-words are all things I better get used to. So I haven’t really watched much daily-life stuff (although there are daily-life scenes WITHIN a lot of dramas, and I do think they’re some of the easiest scenes to follow and comprehend).

Now, why might you pick an action-heavy show: easy to comprehend. Especially if you often watch action-oriented stuff already. The first chinese show I watched a whole episode of in only-chinese (it’s first episode, so that’s when i figured out the entire show��s set up) was The Shaw Eleven Lang (I really wanted more of Zhu Yilong’s acting in my life okay?). I DID in fact, manage to follow the plot. Without pausing much, because I was just watching it with dinner. What made it easier to follow was SO MUCH of the dialogue was really straightforward - stuff like ‘i want that sword’ or ‘i hate you’ or ‘lets eat and drink together to celebrate’ or ‘you need to go save/kill x’ or ‘do you think i’m pretty’ etc. So much of the dialogue was NOT schemes/plots/mysteries, it was really straightforward ‘we are doing X, we like Y, we hate Z’. Which for me are the sentence types I find the easiest to understand, and especially found the easiest at that point in time. In addition, because the show has so much action, often the dialogue is accompanied by action scenes that make it pretty freaking CLEAR what their objective is/what they just said. Yes, there are still plenty of unknown words to look up if you want to pause - but it should be obvious enough that you might have a decent guess at what they mean before you look them up (I had to look up words like sword, princess, clan leader, but those were pretty clear even beforehand from the context of the scenes). After I watched the first ep (which i don’t think i could even find english subs for), I watched the second ep with eng subs to see if i’d interpreted the plot correctly so far - i had. It felt pretty motivating to get through 40 minute episodes without much pausing, and know I’d followed along. I think, at least if you’re already an action-show/movie watcher, action series are going to be a relatively approachable thing to try watching in just your target language. (Another positive is a lot of verbs as commands lines, in context, so for me it’s easier to pick up new verbs, and those kind of lines are very easy to pick up in context - also lines like ‘xiao xin’ be careful, bubi, meiguanshi, danxin, ni fangxin, etc - all these short lines that are easy to understand in the context they often come up in).

(Also, do I recommend The Shaw Eleven Lang? Well... I need to go back to watching it but uh... it’s definitely AN EXPERIENCE... with wild fighter-game-tetsuya-nomura-would-be-proud kind of costume designs, wild af scenes so far, and uh as far as i can tell Zhu Yilong’s on point to play a pretty crazy bastard in it... also there’s a LOT of genuinely kickass girls and kickass main women, which i appreciate, i believe also the main women are all 30+ which is refreshing in general in any-show tbh. also just... everyone in the show is kickass... that’s the point... its a lot like to me, if a absolutely Wild fighting game got a budget for a full drama and just went wild on the plot - very fun to watch, very bizarre... not particularly deep but like, did you play Square enix’s The Bouncer on ps2 for a Good Plot or for an absolutely wild bizarre Time? This show is like the game The Bouncer... just freaking Wild conceptually).

And now, I am watching Handsome Siblings, and managing to get through episodes with only a little pausing for when I want to figure out specifics. It is also very action-scene heavy. At least for me, that’s been making it a lot easier to follow the gist of. There’s scenes where robbers attack - and even if I don’t know every line, its easy to figure out the gist of what’s being said. There’s scenes where people fight - again, very easy to follow. The parts I’ve been pausing the most on are the sisters plotting, because I feel that’s probably the most intensive-mystery in this plot so far, and because I want to make sure I interpret the details correctly when they’re mentioning them (since I think they’ll play out more in the plot later). I think the fact this show is Action-Heavy is making it tremendously easier for me to follow then like... me trying to watch Nirvana in Fire would be. The very straightforward action scenes are much easier to follow using visual context, at least for me, compared to dialogue heavy scenes where the vocabulary is not going to be emphazised with visuals nearly as much. (Another bonus of Handsome Siblings, at least so far, is the dialogue heavy scenes ARE accompanied by visual flashbacks to EXPLAIN the dialogue). Another bonus for Handsome Siblings: the writing seems very straightforward and decently paced. You don’t have to wait long for new scenes, for new developments, and that means a lot of dialogue and action is doing something right away and has a lot of context you immediately see result in something else. For me that just makes it... approachable and understandable in the kind of way like... movies like The Mummy were paced, or Indiana Jones, or Independence Day... do you know what I mean? It’s fun to watch even if you couldn’t understand, and the structure makes it quite comprehensible again even if you heard no dialogue at all. So for me, at least, it makes the balance of ‘ease of watching versus patience to look things up slowly’ much easier. Because its ease of watching is pretty high even for scenes where actual words-you-know isn’t high, so you can save looking-things-up for only when you WANT to, not necessarily as something you need to constantly do just to catch the gist.

---

I tried reading again - I tried reading the novel for the Sleuth of Ming Dynasty. It was BRUTAL because I apparently know NO dynasty-royalty-govt related words (which really explains why Men With Swords political scenes I know so few words lol). I got through 10 out of 39 ‘small’ pages on my phone for the first chapter. I think I managed to follow it, the grammar thankfully was really straightforward and I imagine the original author is quite talented. The difficulty was in the very common use of turns of phrase and idioms for so many parts of sentences, which were all new ‘words/phrases’ i’d never seen before.

#handsome siblings #chinese studyblr #rant #nts #watch progress #a lot of this is notes for myself but if anyone finds it useful thats cool #i am just. so happy about the progress #a few months ago watching a show in all chinese was a pipe dream #and in august that would have been completely unimaginable #i really... started in august practically useless

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badbookreviewclub · 4 years

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Empress Theresa, Chapters 3 & 4

If you haven’t read Chapter 2, here is the the link. I recommend reading through this and Chapter 1 first before continuing on for the sake of continuity. These WILL contain spoilers, so if you’re not cool with that, don’t read it.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 by far has to be one of the most boring chapters I’ve come across in this book. It took me forever to work through this chapter alone simply because of how boring I found the writing and the general story line of the chapter. Its sole purpose is to introduce a couple things, one being Theresa’s love interest, Steve, and how ‘interesting’ she is. Summary and Analysis: Theresa has finally moved on from her high school baseball career to attend Boston College, which Boutin, the author, constantly abbreviates to BC throughout this chapter. This abbreviation grows annoying rather quickly, considering that I don’t think the name of the college needs to be mentioned as often as it is. Aside from annoying abbreviations, this chapter is absolutely littered with a poor attempt to follow the story line Boutin seems to have loosely laid out throughout the book as well as piss poor logic. In chapter 3 we learn that Theresa is a whiny little bitch who thinks the amount of homework given to her is absurd despite the fact that there are plenty of college students out there who are handling it just fine. “The assignments I got in my classes seemed endless. Could anybody do all that work in a semester? (Pg 40)” This is Theresa’s first day of classes and she’s already getting upset over the amount of work she has to do. I don’t know about anybody else, but even with my higher level courses the amount of homework ramps up over the semester before the assignments become more manageable when finals start to draw near. Aside from complaining about her homework, we never even see Theresa do it once throughout the chapter. After her classes, rather than starting to work on this ‘endless’ amount of homework she has, Theresa relaxes in her room before a group of girls (I assume her roommates and not just random strangers - It’s never explicitly stated which one.) invite her down to the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, out of a “”long habit” Theresa started to look around the room. She notices pretty quickly that a group of ‘kids’ are staring at her. I tend to take issue with the fact that Boutin constantly refers to these college-aged adults as ‘kids’ simply because it throws you out of the story. Theresa wouldn’t refer to people the same age as her as ‘kids’ and the book is supposed to be written like an autobiography. Nonetheless, these ‘kids’ are staring at her and Theresa automatically picks two out to comment on in the book. “Mr. Intense,” who was looking at her intently, hence the name, and “Mr. Fast Move.” I have a slight problem with the name “Mr. Fast Move” simply because Theresa gave him this name before he even got up to introduce himself. Theresa somehow being omniscient is a problem through everything I’ve read up until this point and I’ve found it to be more and more annoying as I keep reading. Boutin also tends to have a really big problem with making Theresa assume the emotions and thoughts of other people. “One boy [Mr. Intense] was intently looking at me.... he was around six feet which was a good match for my five feet four inches. I liked taller guys and apparently he liked smaller girls (pg 40).” ‘Mr. Intense’ hasn’t even gotten up to talk with Theresa, nor will he for the next little while as far as I can tell. Yet, somehow, Theresa already knows his likes and dislikes and what he looks for in a potential partner. It doesn’t end there though, Theresa also goes on to continue and assume just what he is doing and thinking. “He wasn’t gawking at a pretty girl, or lusting for her body. He looked interested. And that’s ok. A girl gets used to being looked at (pg 40).” Aside from assuming what he’s thinking, there’s a lot of problems with this quote, enough so that I’m not sure where to being. Starting simple, I absolutely hate when authors write out ‘ok’ rather than ‘okay.’ It comes off as lazy to me. It only takes two more strokes of the key to add the ‘ay’ to the first two letters. Moving on to the next problem, Boutin never takes issue with the fact that someone may be looking at Theresa like an object, and Theresa never objects to that idea. She seems to be fine with the idea that someone is looking at her like an object or like a potential partner. Boutin never out right states that someone is looking at Theresa like an object as far as I’m aware, but it tends to be heavily implied throughout the book that Theresa is fine with that. Moving on from Theresa’s assumptions about ‘Mr. Intense’ for now though, ‘Mr. Fast Move’ obviously makes the first move. As stated early, Theresa gave him this name before he even got up to make the first move. She also keeps calling him this after he gives her his name, Jack Koster. To keep it short and sweet so you all don’t have to suffer as much, Theresa knows pretty soon into her and Jack dating that the two of them are not a good match and that their relationship won’t last. Yet, she continues to keep dating him and dragging him along. One day, when she goes down to his dorm because they have a movie at eight. Turns out, Jack has another girlfriend named Ginny from before college. Despite the fact that she knew her and Jack wouldn’t work out and was just dragging him along, Theresa still gets angry at him and wants to make him jealous. Jack says that he’ll talk to Theresa upstairs so she goes upstairs to wait for him. Before I go further, I just want to point out that Boutin wrote that there were six guys in Jack’s dorm waiting on him as well as Ginny. That’s a lot of people for a college dorm. Still chugging along, Theresa decides she wants to make Jack so jealous he’ll “throw Ginny out a window (pg 45).” Theresa says that there’s no chance that her and Jack will get back together, so I’m not quite sure what her logic is on this one. But she dresses in a “backless dress made of flimsy, cling material (pg 45).” The dress falls six inches above the knee, which “wasn’t a big deal these days, but to make it more interesting I folded back the hemline three more inches inside the skirt and taped it (pg 45).” I may just have short legs, but I measured how short this dress would be on myself, and this wasn’t even covering the bottom of my ass cheeks. Anyways, Theresa watches a movie which Boutin goes into way too much detail to describe and it’s just overly boring and pointless. Jack never shows up but surprise surprise, ‘Mr. Intense,’ better known as Steve at this point, does. At this point the dress has ridden up Theresa’s hips at this point and despite Steve’s clear discomfort with the whole dress situation, she makes no move to try and make it better even though he’s there to offer her comfort. We do get this banger of an exchange though (Pg 49): “You’re quite, Steve. Something on your mind?” “Yeah. I’m trying not to think about what I might see.” “I’m wearing a thong. You won’t see anything but my hip.” “And a nice hip it is, I’m sure.” Steve has had a total of maybe 5 words spoken up until this point but he’s already my favorite character solely from the line “And a nice hip it is, I’m sure.” Steve and Theresa’s relationship develops absurdly quickly from there and it’s almost at a worrying pace. After only about a month of dating, the two of them decide to get married. Father Donoughty, or as I lovingly refer to him, Father Dick Doughnut, convinces Theresa’s parents to let her marry Steve at the tender age of 18 and after only a month of dating because he is more than certain that their marriage won’t fail. Eventually her parents give in because “Discouraging it [the relationship] could do more harm than good (pg 54).” Theresa and Steve apparently have an absolutely amazing wedding and we get a lovely detailed description of what Theresa wore that I’m more than happy to share with all of you because it’s not in the slightest drawn out or excessive; “I was gorgeous as a recently turned eighteen year old. For the church service I wore a two piece wedding gown. A floor length wide skirt with spaghetti shoulder straps made from matte duchess stain. Over this I had a jacket made of peekaboo cotton Venice lace that more or less covered my shoulders and the top half of my upper arms so as not to scandalize the congregation. At the reception the jacket and train came off and my shoulders and cleavage charmed the crowd (pg 54).” This description just reminds me of the excessively long description of what Ebony was wearing in the all-time classic My Immortal. Nobody gives two shits just what Theresa was wearing and the comments about what she is wearing don’t even make sense. I don’t recall a congregation ever being ‘scandalized’ by a young woman having their shoulders exposed. I also don’t recall a crowd ever being ‘charmed’ by someones breasts and shoulders, or you know, I just live in a boring world where people don’t get dazzled by my boobs and my offensively sexy shoulders. As for the poor attempt for Boutin to continue the plot throughout chapter 3, in-between Theresa meeting Jake and then finding out about him cheating, Theresa is called into the campus police office because her ‘watchers’ were caught following her. Nothing really comes of this other than that we learn the Pope is paying for her tuition and finds her a ‘highly interesting’ case. The president also talks on the phone to the head of the campus police and tells them to pass along the message that they didn’t see anything happen, that they shouldn’t tell this to anybody, and that they should just forget about it. It’s a boring scene with boring dialogue and its rather pointless as well. If anything, it only serves to create more plot holes throughout the entire story. Chapter 4 So we got through the boring hell that was chapter 3, but what about chapter 4? It’s not better. Arguably it is so much worse. I can sum it up fairly simply for you. Theresa gets kidnapped by government men, she assumes they’re ‘Navy SEALS’ but calls them goons through the entire book. She’s then put on a plane with an atom bomb on it because I guess the president finally decided that he wanted her dead and yet nobody objected to this happening despite there being no evidence for her deserving this fate. Also her watchers just disappear in this chapter so I guess their presence in her life was just completely pointless. This may come as a surprise, but Theresa manages to get out with the stupidest solution ever and doesn’t die. This is the part where I should be celebrating her survival but all I can do is mourn the fact that she could have died but didn’t. If she did, the book would be over. Summary and Analysis: God, I really don’t want to summarize this chapter and point out things I hated in it but I will. This chapter was so overwhelmingly painful to read and mark down that I gave up towards the end and just started scribbling ‘No’ and ‘Why’ into the margins. Okay, rant over. Starting off, Theresa is on her way to go to the grocery store when a bunch of cars in front of her essentially make a barricade so she can’t get through. The people in the cars get out with their weapons drawn as a van pulls up behind her. Once more, Theresa’s omniscient knowledge kicks in and before the door to the van opens she already knows what the interior looks like. She gets into the van anyways without much of a fight and just willingly lets herself be kidnapped. They take her to a helicopter and fly for a long ass time. Eventually Theresa asks where they’re taking her and rather than telling her that it is classified information like they should, they basically tell Theresa that they’re taking her to an aircraft and that she’ll be killed. Rather than getting upset about this, the tears just well up in her eyes but she doesn’t break down into hysterics. As Theresa so eloquently puts it, “But I didn’t cry. I wasn’t a phony movie actress using hysterics to milk all the drama she could out of every moment. I was a real person and I didn’t give a damn what these kidnappers thought (pgs 57-58).” Theresa once more assumes emotions, and states that she must have impressed her kidnappers and won their admiration by not breaking down into hysterics. This is where she also guesses that they’re Navy SEAL despite having absolutely no proof of them being in that part of the army as of yet. Blah blah blah, Theresa decides to ‘wax poetic’ though she’s not being poetic at all and it’s just Boutin trying to fill in space so he can make his book longer. Somehow this chapter is even more boring and annoying than chapter 3 and shit is supposed to be happening here. I suppose Boutin is trying to make it intense, but it comes off as long winded and any sense of action of anxiety that may have been there is gone. In-between the long and boring moments of Theresa just observing things, she asks how she’s going to die and they tell her that she’s going to be loaded onto a plane with an atomic bomb. This is a problem for a lot of reasons, actually, and I’ll put them in a list for you: 1. This is a stupidly expensive way to kill someone 2. Theresa never stood trial for this and its not as thought it could have flown under the radar either. There is a shit ton of money being funneled into an atomic bomb and a plane that wouldn’t go unnoticed in the records. 3. Theresa’s watchers never showed up once despite having watched her grow up and seeing that she would never harm a fly. Yet here she has been declared a danger to national security. 4. All of the men who are escorting her to her death have no proof that she has done anything to be a threat to national security. As far as they’re aware, she’s an innocent eighteen year old girl. 5. The way that they’re going to kill her is cruel, inhumane, and excessive. Never in my life could I see anyone letting a president get away with ordering a death sentence like this. 6. Theresa never fucking stood trial for this shit. This wouldn’t just fly under the radar with congress. Believe it or not, but the President of the United States doesn’t have enough power to just order someone dead because they believe them to be a threat. Theresa would have to go through a trial first. I could see a coup happening in the United States before anyone ever let anything like this happen. These tend to be my problems with a majority of the chapter. To get into more specifics, Theresa says that she needs to think of a way to get out of this, but we never see her elaborate on a plan nor do we ever become clued in that she has come up with an idea. Instead, we, the reader, see her do some nonsensical bullshit. When they take her to an empty cafeteria to have her last meal, Theresa takes an empty garbage bag and fills it with exactly 11 coke bottles that at the time confused the living shit out of me. As it turns out, she’s going to empty out these coke bottles and shove them into her jumpsuit so she’ll be buoyant when she jumps from the plane before it can blow her up. This is some kind of bullshit five-minute crafts solution. It’s a stupid one and never in a million years could I ever see this working. Theresa also decides to reflect on her life and comes to the conclusion that her life as not significant and was incredibly boring. How wonderful for that the reader has to reader that when we could have come to that conclusion ourselves. We also learn that Theresa has had ‘no illnesses’ which seems like utter bullshit to me, but alright, go off Boutin. She also had a ‘mean’ dog growl at her once and suddenly she now has absolutely no love for dogs. I’ll let you interpret that one however you want. The night before she’s going to be executed, Theresa decides to reflect on her life thus far with Steve. This could have been a bittersweet moment where we truly get something emotion filled and with fond memories that we didn’t see. It’s not a bad idea to have her reflect on her loved one during what should be a very emotional time, yet all we do is get a recap of his experience with her last chapter. It’s boring and inspires no emotion from the reader. We could have learned something about Steve and how Theresa sees him and yet we don’t learn anything. What we do learn however, is that Theresa somehow has shit tons of knowledge about aircraft despite this never being mentioned before in the book. I don’t think she actually is supposed to be an aircraft nerd, I think that Boutin just forgot about that and started to write far too much that he learned about planes so he could share the information with everyone. It’s more confusing than not in the actual text though and draws away from the story, not that there was much to begin with. Also, somehow, refueling in flight will snap your neck if you don’t brace right according to Boutin. I did some light research and no, no it will not. Despite this, Boutin goes on for about two pages about how Theresa has to brace so it doesn’t snap her neck when they refuel mid-flight on their way to take her another boat so she can get on the plane with the bomb on it. Jesus christ the next few pages are just absolute hell. Theresa lands on boat. Captain of boat brought women onto top of boat. Thought the one being executed would be man and deserved to see women before he died. Strongly implies women are objects for men to look at again. One woman takes out her phone. She asks Theresa if she has anything she’d like to say. Dis bitch. Dis. fuckin. bitch. “I once read a famous quote by the Shawnee Indian Chief Tecumseh about singing a death song and going out like a hero. I had rewritten it for a more universal use, never dreaming that I’d use it myself so soon. ‘If people grieve your passing rejoice in the good you did and die like a hero going home. I feel good about who I was.’ (pg 68)” Not only is pulling your phone out to record someone who is about to be executed highly against probably all policies, but also, just... fuckin... if this situation were to ever happen in real life, this would be an absolute shit show of a situation. People are breaking rules left and right, nobody is obeying any sort of code of ethics or any kind of rules that were laid out for them. It’s just stupid. All of this chapter is just plain stupid and the logic is terrible. One of the people gives Theresa thermals because it’s going to be cold when she’s flying up and they insist that she gets oxygen and wears a mask. They do all of this for her despite the fact that in the end she’s going to get blown up and none of it matters. Nothing fucking matters in this book. After this though Theresa fucking jumps from the plane once it has taken off and is at an altitude of 54,140. The impact on the water alone would have been enough to kill her and yet it doesn’t. She just passes out when she hits in and then wakes back up. Now is when she starts to get cold and she passes out again. The entire time that the plane is climbing into the air and she’s falling before she hits the water is supposed to be an intense and action-packed scene. I get that’s what Boutin is trying to do in this last part of the chapter, but it doesn’t come across that way. It’s dragged out. It’s wordy and Theresa thinks way too much about other things for it to feel like it is supposed to be as intense as I think Boutin wanted it to be. It’s poorly written to put it simply, which really sucks because it’s the climax of the entire chapter and the most intense moment out of anything leading up to this point. End Alright that is the end of chapter 3 and 4. I don’t know when 5 to whatever chapter I decide is worth it will come out, but hopefully sooner rather than later so I can finish with this book. Chances are I’ll post a review for a different book in-between this one and the next so look out for that. I’ve got a few absolutely terrible books on their way that I’ll be receiving over the next month. The first one out of the batch I plan to review is someone’s fan fiction that they decided to publish called Insanity: Jeff the Killer simply because it’s 77 pages and after flipping through it, it’s already better than some of the shit I’ve read lately. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and please feel free to follow and look out for more reviews of books. I hope I’m actually getting better at this review thing! Please feel free to leave any feedback and things you would like!

#empress theresa #chapter 3 #chapter 4 #bad book #bad book review #review #this was hell #someone please kill me #when will it end

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2020recommendanime · 4 years

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Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun and the Power of Visuals

Unique animation and background art can be selling points when it pertains to whether an individual decides to watch a new series. Although great story writing and characters can create an amazing series, it is difficult to know these two qualities without first watching the anime itself (as well as reading the light novel or manga). The easiest way to impress a person into watching a show without any prior knowledge is to have an interesting art style. This sort of technique is used in more than just Japanese animation, but also in other countries such as The United States with Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Loving Vincent. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse brings a comic book to life by using frames and onomatopoeia words, while Loving Vincent was hand-painted using stop-motion. With these concepts, movies that would have been a simple crossover and a documentary would be dull and not cause more people to watch and marvel at what is to come. The anime and manga of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun do just that; the animation and background art draws people in to enjoy what is to come.

Figure 1 Persichetti, Ramsey, Rothman, “Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse”

Figure 2 Kobiela, Welchman, "Loving Vincent"

The Impact of Visuals

As with other art forms, anime has its general groups where you can expect a certain art style to go along with the concept; seinen (mature themes) are often done with more darker schemes and muted styles, shounen (aimed at boys) is brighter and smoother, hentai (animated porn) focuses on exposure and shojo (aimed at girls) is bubbly and sparkly. While there are these general groups, there are subgroups that contain their own styles, and even then, there are always exceptions. As mentioned before, Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun is one of these exceptions.

As stated on Mangakalot, Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun is a shounen that includes comedy, supernatural, and school life themes. With these themes, the first thought would be to compare this to shows such as Noragami and Natsume's Book of Friends. Both Noragami and Natsume's Book of Friends are stereotypical looking anime with thin lines, dry colors, and standard scenery. While these shows are impressive with their storytelling and inclusive to supernatural myths, the amount of uniqueness and creatively put into the art style does not instantly draw the viewers in.

Figure 3 Tamura, "Noragami"

Figure 4 Miyake, "Natsume's Book of Friends"

Although I can go on and describe Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun’s animation and background, James Beckett from AnimeNewsNetwork summaries it perfectly: “The environments feel hand-crafted, like they were plucked out of an especially evocative picture-book, and the way the show uses overlays of comic panels to break up some of the gags and establishing shots makes everything even more painterly.” This kind of exceptional work is common with the producers and directors of the show. As reported from AnimeNewsNetwork, Studio Lerche employed director Masaomi Andō, writer Yasuhiro Nakanishi, character designer Mayuka Itou, and animation producer Yūji Higa. Both Masaomi Andō and Yūji Higa have previously collaborated for a child-like show, Hakumei and Mikochi. With this team, they would go forward to produce another amazing series.

Figure 5 Andou, "Hakumei and Mikochi"

There are three important factors that go into making Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun series’ art special: manga frames, vibrant colors, and creative lighting.

Manga Frames

When discussing this subject, it is important to remember its origins. When reading manga, the frames and panels are outlined boxes stacked against each other that contain drawings and words. This concept is common across manga and comics alike but employing this type of style of boxes containing drawings is not common in anime. As referenced at the beginning, the American movie Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse uses the same notion with it being a parody towards superhero comic books. Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun does this in a similar fashion with its manga-inspired animation.

(Below will be images for this example) Episode 6 of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun features many examples of manga frames, but for this example, we are focusing on a screencap from time 3:42. The screencap has two visual planes, in the background is an open book with a red page reading “Future” while in the foreground is Yashiro Nene’s, the main character, face being shown within white manga-panel borders. This image shows an interesting way to convey Yashiro talking while still being able to see what she was talking about on-screen. This scene is comparative to the one drawn in the manga. In the manga, the panel that has the book and “Future” is read first, then the next frame has Yashiro talking about what she is looking at. The way the producers decided to adapt to this scene is interesting; they were able to see the original concept and impact, but also integrated the feeling of being able to still see the first image while also continuing to read/watch on.

Figure 6 Andou, "Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun" Ep 6

Figure 7 Aida, "Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun" Chp 11

Vibrant Colors

Different anime may use color schemes to enhance themes, specific events, or symbolism. Color is everywhere in anime, and it is important for the animators to place certain colors in places to bring meaning or impact to the watchers. A popular example of this is in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure where the color scheme inverts at random yet important times during the episodes, which brings about the weird and unique flare that this series holds. A series does not need wild color changes to be recognizable.

The very first noticeable feature of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun is how bright and lively the art looks. James Beckett’s description that this show looks like a picture book is accurate in this sense. Children’s books often have bold and contrasting colors to allow for easy viewing and longer attention spans. Rachel Pancare wrote a Sciencing article title, “How Do Bright Colors Appeal to Kids?” which states, “Bright colors catch young children's eyes because they help kids to distinguish objects from one another in their field of vision. Children spend more time looking at bright colors as opposed to looking at muted shades or pastels.” While this is true, some of the tones and circumstances within the show are not child-friendly, and even then, the coloration and art style are still able to bring the fear that is needed.

Figure 8 Andou, "Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun" Ep 1

Figure 9 Andou, "Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun" Ep 1

Creative Lighting

Lighting can be used in many different forms; it is used to brighten a landscape, a special character or object, or to create a certain atmosphere. In the average anime, lighting may not be diverse but may be only used to brighten the landscape so that the viewers can watch. There would be no major variation or casting that would change the mood of the scene. At times, there is seemingly no direct light source, but just everything is filled with brightness by either the sun, indoor lights, or for no reason. If the setting is at night, a streetlight may light up a character but that is seemingly the only option. Incredible anime typically takes a dive into using light sources and shadows dynamically, especially when there is a dramatic scene or an object that needs to be emphasized.

Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun possesses the traits of having various light sources and accurately placed shadows, but there is another layer that is added. An integral part of the art style is that light can take a variety of shapes, but usually hexagonal. The pictures below demonstrate this; a light that emanates from the lamps and the lenses flare are hexagons, providing a creative change other than the usual faded circle of light surrounding an object. The other light sources are the light blue, glowing gems and the sunlight from the window. These two light sources provide the rest of the scene to be lit but within proportion to how bright the source is. Shadows are used accurately as well, causing darkness on the two character’s backs as well as slopping downward on the stall doors. These small additions can contribute greatly to the finished product and can transform how a scene is seen and the feelings that are derived from it.

Figure 10 Andou, "Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun" Ep 6

Figure 11 Andou, "Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun" Ep 1

Conclusion

The three essential components to Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun are creative lighting, vibrant colors, and manga frames. Analyzing and discovering what goes into a series can improve your experience and create a deeper devotion to the content. With this being said, not all shows that have the typical animation style and dull background are bad, but that they need to be analyzed in other areas and be appreciated in those. Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun deserves praise and attention for its art style, and studios should look after this show and put forth the effort to make more series like this.

When considering what new series, you may watch or if you would want to stop watching a series, stop and think for a moment, “Does this art style impress me? Was the effort of the animators shown?” If the answers to the questions is “yes,” then I recommend that you follow through and continue watching that series. While storytelling and character development are important aspects to a show, there is more to the story than that. So, take a minute, turn the volume off on your favorite anime and watch—does the art tell a story? Does it make you laugh, scared, sad, or any emotion? Looking out for these feelings is important, and so is analyzing why this show may look so wonderful, because the smallest details matter the most, and it shows the dedication and love the creators have for the series.

#hanako-kun #toilet bound hanako kun #WINTER 2020 #anime #mini essay #manga

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impracticaldemon · 6 years

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Chaos Theory: Sasuke Ch 5, Decisions (Indiscretion Part II)

by impracticaldemon

Author’s Note: This one-shot about Sarutobi Sasuke of the Ikemen Sengoku universe quickly became a 3-chapter story. Now I bring you Chapter 5. Which is actually Chapter 4, Part II. Part I was mostly about Mitsuhide. Part II is about Sasuke and my character, Chieko.

Please see this post for the Mitsuhide-Sasuke-Kenshin conversation that formed part of the basis for the story (other than chapter 1 - I don’t know where that came from).

NOTE: RATED M for sexual situations and sexual content. Over 7500 words. You’ve been warned.

Written for @iamaikotachibana , and because I have a total weakness for Sasuke myself. Apparently, I also enjoy writing Mitsuhide. ~ Imp

Chapter 5—Decisions (The Price of Indiscretion Part II)

He looked a little dishevelled, and his face was even more devoid of emotion than usual, but it was definitely the same man who had kissed me—whom I'd kissed—just two hours earlier. Despite everything, I felt a rush of relief, followed by happiness, and then—I blamed my jailor's parting words—a warm, fluttery, excited feeling that I tried my best to set aside. Yeah, good luck with that.

A moment later, Sasuke alighted silently on the tatami. His eyes did a brief sweep of the room, and then he crossed to the window, beckoning me to follow. When I came up beside him, he rested a hand on my shoulder and bent down to my ear. Sadly, his words were prosaic.

"Could you open the window screen and look around for me? I don't want to cause even more problems for you."

The second sentence told me that he was berating himself—might even be quite upset—behind that blank face of his. I tried to ignore my reaction to feeling his soft breath on my ear and neck, and slid open the screen as requested. Then I took my first careful look at my surroundings.

As Mitsuhide had implied, my new room was still in the same living area of the castle, which meant that I was three floors up and facing the back of the castle. There was at least one major difference, however; there was only a short, rather steep eave of tiled roof in front of my window, instead of access onto a much wider area with a comfortable slope.

"Sasuke? You can look for yourself—I don't see anyone."

Sasuke nodded, and peered cautiously out through the window. Unlike me, he gave the layout below only a cursory glance before examining the area above. Shortly afterward, he gently closed the wood and paper shade and slid down to sit on the floor, his back against the wall. I sat down awkwardly beside him, unsure what to do. For lack of better ideas, I took the lid off a nearby ceramic jar. The water inside wasn't for drinking; rather, it was designed to help cool the room. I could use whatever cooling was available.

"Roof access from above is difficult, but not impossible," he murmured, mostly to himself. "But one would be very exposed to attack from both above and below. I believe that Lord Mitsuhide is correct: there is only one reasonably usable access route under present circumstances, and it's internal. That's unfortunate."

"Sasuke? Can we talk?"

He slowly lifted his head and met my eyes, but although he appeared as impassive as usual, I could now see a definite flush in his cheeks. Then his brown eyes flicked away and down for a moment, and it appeared to require a significant effort to drag them back.

"Chieko. I owe you an apology. Two apologies, in fact. I hope you will allow me to at least partially redeem myself." He turned so that he was facing me properly, and bowed deeply. It made me feel very uncomfortable, and rather lonely. "Moushiwake arimasen deshita."

"Sasuke… Whatever you think you're apologizing for, that's way over the top." I tried to keep my tone even, but half-formed anxieties were swirling through my brain. My inner voice—or saner self?— wasn't impressed. You're worrying more about this relationship than about having your life controlled by Mitsuhide! Talk about weird priorities and a previously sub-standard dating life. The whisper in my mind was unaccompanied by Lord Snaky-Smile, but managed to mock me just fine on its own. I pressed on. "No, seriously… Sasuke, if you don't raise your head and start being more twenty-first century boyfriend than sixteenth century ninja, you're really going to start freaking me out."

Sasuke immediately sat up, his eyes wide and just a little panicked—although maybe that was my overactive imagination. He gingerly took my left hand. "So… we're still going out? I wasn't quite sure. It would not be unreasonable for you to change your mind."

"Change my mind?" I repeated, puzzled.

I thought I saw the ghost of a smile cross Sasuke's face. "Most women aren't as resilient as you are when faced with possible imprisonment, torture, and death." He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then added: "Not that I've spoken at length to many women, and none—other than you—who have recently been threatened with those outcomes in my presence. My assumption may be faulty."

"Well, I can't say I'm thrilled about the possible options, but how is it your fault that Mitsuhide has peculiar tastes in recreational activities?"

Sasuke looked away again, although at least he held onto my hand. His response was what I expected—now that I'd thought it through a little.

"Lord Mitsuhide's behaviour is both logical and surprisingly forbearing for this era. He is taking reasonable precautions against being associated with a probable enemy spy should things go wrong. That's much more difficult now that people know he's seen me. He might not have seen me if I'd arrived sooner and left sooner last week. It would have been much less likely, at least. And you wouldn't be under suspicion if he hadn't been able to connect you to me, which was entirely my fault. Among other things, I took a chance by leaving directly through your window. It is only because the Oda warlords hold you in such high regard that you are still relatively free. Unless Lord Mitsuhide has ulterior motives."

I was going to point out that Mitsuhide always had ulterior motives, but something told me that Sasuke already knew that.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going to follow me here?" I asked. "Mitsuhide wasn't wrong when he said that it was very risky for you. Maybe if I'd known, it would have gone better."

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. "Well… I don't know quite how to say this, but your expression tends to lend itself to openness and honesty—which I admire. However, since I was still hoping to find a way in to see you undetected, I wanted any watchers to assume that you were on your own."

I sighed. "You thought my expression, or whatever, would give you away. Fine. At least you put it more nicely than Mitsuhide. You know, if this is going to be the last time I get to see you for a while, then maybe we could at least sit together for a few minutes?" Do you realize how much you care about this man? Is it getting through to you?

"I'm supposed to be putting together a list of my previous comings and goings. You'll be safer when that's done." I couldn't tell what Sasuke was thinking, but his answer disappointed me. Not that he was wrong, but he'd been a lot more passionate, and a lot less reserved, earlier in the afternoon. Then I told myself to get a grip and be reasonable—the situation had changed since then.

"Oh." I tried for neutral, but it still came out sounding sad.

Sasuke's gaze sharpened, and he scrutinized my face intently. I thought I saw or sensed surprise under the stoic mask. Before I could say anything further, he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed each finger in turn, before pulling me into his lap and cradling me against his chest. As before, his heartbeat wasn't nearly as calm as his expression. I snuggled as close as I could, curling my free hand into his tunic. It was a relief, despite the heat. Note to self: I think I'm falling in love. When did this happen? By return memo: Duh. And work on the meaning of the word 'falling'; we discussed this.

"I wasn't sure what you thought of me, after my inappropriate behaviour with you earlier…" His voice was subdued, and he sounded even guiltier than he had when he'd apologized for getting me into trouble with Mitsuhide and possibly the other Oda warlords.

"Inappropriate behaviour?" I was genuinely confused, and not sure how to react.

"I meant to kiss you, not attack you. Having you fall on me clouded my judgement. I'm very sorry about that. I had hoped to strike a balance between being boldly assertive—as recommended by Lord Shingen—and being respectful of your comfort and boundaries, which is just… just… the right thing to do… Chieko?"

He probably stopped because I was doing my best to remind him that whatever we'd done, we'd done it together. Specifically, I was running my fingers over his neck and upper chest, and liking what I found. He was probably the world's most athletic geek, and he was mine—except for a bit of unfortunate overthinking. Yes, Mitsuhide could theoretically have us arrested, or impounded, or whatever the right word was. But he'd given us until sundown, and that was still quite a ways off. He—Mitsuhide—was undeniably a master at intrigue and deception, and would probably lie sooner than tell the truth, but I was going to bet on him keeping his word within the boundaries he'd set out.

I looked up when Sasuke ran out of words. "You managed boldly assertive very well," I assured him, fingers still stroking the skin just below his collar bone. "And my boundaries appear to be very flexible around you." Or pretty much non-existent. "I'll have you know that I turned down Lord Nobunaga himself—although Hideyoshi almost killed me for objecting to his grabby hands. Nobunaga's hands, I mean."

"Yes… you told me about that. It made me anxious for you—given the more or less absolute rights of high-ranking samurai in this era—but you managed the Oda warlords quite well after that. I still don't know—"

Before he could finish the sentence, I pressed my finger against his lips.

"We don't have unlimited time. You've got to be out of here before sundown—by a reasonable margin so that I don't have a heart attack—and I'm determined to get Mitsuhide to let me resume my normal duties after that. Plus, before you go, you have a list to write."

"…I take it that you're willing to take the chance that Lord Mitsuhide is telling the truth?" I couldn't blame him for sounding dubious.

"About staying out of my—this—room for the rest of the afternoon? Yes. But you're clearly in more danger than I am, so it's your call. What do you want to do? I'm absolutely certain that one way or another you'll get us to Kyoto in time to catch our wormhole home. If you want to write up your note for Mitsuhide, and then figure out the quickest, safest way to leave, I'm good with that." I wouldn't like it very much, and my body wasn't onside at all, but I could be sensible. Probably. Being this close was giving me all sorts of ideas.

Sasuke's stoic demeanour was cracking. He looked visibly conflicted.

"I don't want to make things worse, and they could be much worse. At the same time, I don't want to let go of you. A number of Lord Mitsuhide's actions and comments made me very uncomfortable—about your safety. However, it was clear to me that I had to remain silent; I hypothesize that he was testing my discretion as well as exploring your motives."

"It's okay. I wasn't expecting you to jump out of the ceiling to defend me."

Sasuke was suddenly looking down at me from close quarters, hands on my shoulders and eyes narrowed, as if my words had triggered something that he'd been trying to suppress. This time there was no conflict in his expression, only frustration verging on anger.

"Whether you were expecting me or not, I did want to defend you. I didn't like the way he handled and threatened you." Sasuke's hands tightened on my shoulders. It was finally making sense to me now how a number of Mitsuhide's comments had been aimed at provoking Sasuke, not just me. "I wonder if I've been here too long," he continued. "It wasn't easy to stay hidden. I had to remind myself that you would not appreciate any unnecessary violence, and that I could intervene if something drastic happened—at least for long enough for you to escape."

"Oh no, no, no… We are not going to discuss you sacrificing yourself or anything like that. Nobody dies, and in four or five weeks, we go home."

Sasuke stared at me from behind his glasses, and then his lips twitched briefly into a classic Sasuke smile, complete with hints of humour, self-deprecation, and shyness. "Sorry. That was melodramatic on my part. "

"This whole era is melodrama, isn't it? Though I do my best to keep things moderately normal." I was babbling. The smile was turning me to mush and heating me up all over at the same time. Why wasn't he—oh.

My eyes closed and I drew in a long, deep breath when my hair was brushed aside and warm lips closed gently on my temple, and then trailed kisses down toward my jaw. I wanted to tell him "Good choice, I wanted you to stay," but it came out as something embarrassing like "Finally."

"I couldn't resist," Sasuke murmured in the vicinity of my ear, sounding slightly defensive. "The most rational choice by a significant margin is to leave as soon as possible, but I wanted to kiss you again and your expression..." His teeth gently worried at my lower lip, and one of his hands found its way to the back of my head to pull me closer. I could feel his body tensing against me and under me. "You looked like you wanted—"

"You weren't wrong…" I turned a little and leaned into the kiss, feeling his tongue slip between my lips and the slight hitch in his breath when I shifted further so that I could wrap my arms around his neck.

As though we had all the time in the world at our disposal, we made the most of this kiss, parting to breathe, but never for long. Soft, deep, longing—loving?—kisses; harder, deeper, passionate kisses. Our problems became a hazy blur in my mind, not quite forgotten but worth putting aside for as long as possible.

"I don't pick very good times for this," Sasuke said eventually, looking slightly drunk, and very much the opposite of cool and collected. I tried to find it endearing—I mean, it was—but my mind was more focused on things like "too many damn clothes" and "don't care if somebody walks in so help me…"

"When in the Sengoku," I reminded him, leaning back a little to watch his face.

"Jeopardizing our safety for a kiss?"

"I can totally imagine Masamune saying it was worth it." Not that he would stop with a kiss, if he could get away with it. …Heaven help me I was citing Masamune as a role model.

"Date Masamune is one of the most powerful warlords of this time."

"So? He said you were an excellent ninja—and a surprisingly strong swordsman—as I recall. That's very high praise."

"Yes. While I remain loyal to my current employer—"

"Who is clearly mentally unstable."

"—It is gratifying to have job offers from both Lord Masamune and Lord Mitsuhide."

He sounded calm, but he wasn't, and I didn't want him to be. Problem was, I knew that his head was still in conflict with the rest of him. I'd been there before and recognized the symptoms, even on a super-stoic astrophysicist-ninja. But I'd been listening to his heartbeat, and I was sitting in his lap. Some reactions weren't so easy to hide.

"Sasuke? You always worry about me, but what do you want? I said it was up to you, but you never really answered." His face was already flushed, but his cheeks darkened further. That suggested possibilities that were far more appealing than they should be—given the time and place, and our very new relationship. You must really, really like this guy if a blush is turning you on—turning you on more, that is. I didn't bother to argue.

"I should… prioritize our safety." Sasuke's voice was low-pitched and tense. "There is no rush, probably. For us, I mean. I expect to survive any immediate battles."

"Okay, I guess. But you're dodging the question. Again." I ran my fingers over Sasuke's face, tracing his features and lingering on his mouth, before moving to the line of his jaw. It wasn't playing fair, but Mitsuhide—and Nobunaga, and Masamune, and even mother-hen Hideyoshi—had taught me that life in the Sengoku was pretty much anything but fair, so you had to make up your mind and take some chances. In fact, there weren't any guarantees in modern-day Japan either, just better percentages. Or was I just rationalizing my behaviour? If you need to ask that question…

"…I'm not very good with words." Sasuke's eyes had half-closed, but he opened them in order to study my face again. His gaze still retained a measure of its usual piercing inquiry.

"I don't know about that—you're pretty eloquent on the subject of ground spikes."

I let my hands rest on Sasuke's shoulders, leaving myself open to his scrutiny. I felt pretty self-conscious—who wouldn't?—well, other than about half the Oda warlords, who just didn't do self-conscious—wait, where was I? Trying not to totally throw yourself at the cute ninja while he's in danger of torture and death? Or maybe trying to incite the cute ninja to throw himself at you instead, so that you don't feel quite so guilty about it? …Which isn't very nice. I was reluctantly acknowledging the uncomfortable possibility of the latter, when the cute ninja took my face in an almost crushing grip and kissed me breathless.

Oh wow. In that instant, I caught a glimpse of how Sasuke had accomplished so much in four years: when he was focussed, he was driven. His mouth was greedy on mine, demanding everything, and stealing away every breath and soft moan. I found myself on the tatami under him, with no clear memory of having gotten there and no desire to be anywhere else. Hands as strong as Mitsuhide's—and just as unyielding—held my wrists to the floor by my head. Unlike earlier in the afternoon, I was conscious of having willingly ceded control to somebody a lot stronger and heavier than I was. It was as if I kept having to relearn that Sasuke was a lot more than an awkward Sengoku fanboy cosplaying a sixteenth-century ninja. My body knew it, my heart knew it—wait what?—but my brain persisted in seeing an attractive but awkward grad student.

My lips were abraded and swollen by the time I was allowed to breathe freely again, but it was sensation and need that had choked off my ability to form words. I managed a sound between a moan and a whimper when the next hard kiss found the soft skin just below my left ear and immediately became an insistent, skin-breaking bite. Instead of moving on, as he had with my collarbone earlier in the afternoon, Sasuke continued to deepen the bruise.

"Nnnnnngggh… Sa-suke?" I spoke his name in a hoarse whisper, and his mouth lifted from my neck. A moment later, he let go of my wrists and sat back on his heels, across my hips. When I looked up at him, I saw a kind of grim satisfaction lurking behind the heat in his eyes. His breathing was ragged, and when he spoke, his voice was darker and rougher than it had been before. Maybe I should have been upset, but all I felt was curiosity and rapidly escalating desire.

"…He kept touching you. He deliberately set out to intimidate you by physically restraining you and compelling your obedience. A standard interrogation technique, of course; I know that. I can't fault his reasoning or execution. But the way he went about it—the way he held you and forced you to look at him…" Sasuke took a deep breath, and then scrubbed a hand across his forehead, wiping away sweat and hiding his expression.

He sounded a little more like himself when he spoke next, but still keyed up. "I know that jealousy is a pointless, even reprehensible emotion. Also, being possessive is neither logical, nor appropriate, although it is a common failing. …I never expected to feel this way." The last words were spoken mostly to himself. I found him strangely unapologetic, given his usual courteous and considerate behaviour. Something or someone—probably a mind-reading snake—had pushed buttons that I'd never even considered in relation to Sasuke.

I stared up at him, and lifted a hand to my neck. That was going to be one hell of a bruise, although adrenaline and endorphins were more than compensating for any discomfort. And he'd done it partly—or more than partly—to get back at Mitsuhide in some way? Or as a warning? More like a mark; stop avoiding the thought. The suspicion that I should be concerned about his motivation grew—but I was having trouble thinking much past the weight across my hips. There was nothing mild or dispassionate about the expression on Sasuke's face right now, and that just made me want him more. It was ridiculous, and possibly dangerous, and I didn't need a voice in my head to tell me—again—that the time and place were all wrong.

Sasuke's fingers brushed damp tendrils of hair from my face and rested briefly on my cheek. The gesture wasn't, in itself, suggestive, but there was heat in every contact now, and muscles tightened from my abdomen to my thighs, responsive to his shift in weight. Ridiculous or not, dangerous or not—

"Are you sure you aren't upset with me about this?" he asked suddenly. The fingers skimmed along the fabric covering the line of bruises on my collarbone, and my skin quivered in reaction.

"Positive." I kept my voice as steady as I could. Was he really still worried about that or was there something else? I couldn't tell.

"Or for letting you get trapped here by Lord Mitsuhide?" And very softly: "Without stepping in to help."

"I'm sure. In fact, I'm a lot more worried about y—"

"If you want me to go, you'll have to say so."

I drew in a sharp breath at the uncompromising words, and then all but stopped breathing. I hadn't noticed him unfastening the upper ties of my summer-weight kimono and sheer under-kimono. His hand was now pressed flat against the skin between my breasts. Only my obi, fastened tightly with a bow in the back, held the thin silk and gauzy linen partially closed. Whatever happened now, there was no opium to excuse it.

I licked my lips and swallowed, knowing that he could feel my heart pounding, and the heat of my skin. "I… don't know if I can send you away," I whispered. All of my attention was focused on his hand—strong and lean, a little more calloused than I'd realized; no longer the hand of a twenty-first century grad student. He probably used or trained with a weapon every day. "I should, though." I finally raised my eyes to his, feeling desperately torn. I never should have teased him earlier; I should have known, or guessed, that feelings ran deep with him.

His expression was… I'd never seen or imagined him with that look. Intense, reckless, burning—completely committed to his current path despite knowing the potential costs.

"…You asked me what I wanted. I want to touch you. As much and as far as you'll allow. I want us to be lovers, whatever that means to you. You told Lord Mitsuhide that we weren't exactly lovers, and you only recanted under duress. So tell me"—his free hand set his glasses aside and deftly unwound and discarded the green cowl that sat like a scarf on his shoulders—"what will it take?"

Oh… Oh sweet gods and goddesses… Some part of my mind registered that he'd been hurt by my denial, and I truly regretted that. The rest of me felt his words like a jolt to every lust-inflamed nerve-ending, and I swear my vision blurred. Sasuke had never lost sight of his promise to get me back to the modern day safe and sound, and he'd risked himself time and again to look out for me. But he really wanted this—wanted me—in the here and now.

"I was wrong." My voice wasn't working properly, so I cleared my throat.

Sasuke just kept watching me, both patient and impatient. Focused. The hand on my chest was heavy, even without weight behind it; I wondered if he felt the same heat from that connection as I did.

"I was wrong—about not being lovers. I'm so sorry." I meant it. I'd known better since we first kissed. "Mitsuhide always winds me up, and—"

"Leave him out of this."

Right. "Sasuke…" My head was still playing catch-up with my body, but was no longer so far behind. "You've done as much as anyone could do. You don't need to do more, of prove something, I swear. And"—I reached out to touch his arm, sliding my hand along bone and sinew—"I want what you want."

"The time is wrong… and the place is wrong… We both know that." But his hand moved, caressing the soft curve of one breast through the fine silk.

"Mmmmm… True…" I arched my back and felt my toes curl, just in anticipation of feeling his touch directly on my skin.

"And I can't promise—I don't have—" He caught my head as it fell back, bending down to kiss my lips as his fingers traced circles around a nipple that was already tight with arousal. When he let his palm slide over it and around it, I moaned, and then bit my lip in an effort not to be so loud. I pressed myself upward into his hand, and even more tightly against his hips. The angle was wrong; I couldn't alleviate the heat and tension coiled within the wet folds of overheated skin surrounding both my core and the sensitive bundle of nerves that ached most for a lover's touch.

"What—are—you… nnnggggghhhh…" More slowly than I wanted, Sasuke's hand slid under the still-confining fabric of my kimono and began to stroke the sensitive, sensitized skin beneath; I could feel the tension in his fingers now, and the slight tremor in his body that spoke of forced restraint in the face of overwhelming desire and emotion.

It felt strange to be so vulnerable in front of him, and there wasn't even the cover of darkness to alleviate the feeling. I'd always tried to seem as confident as possible when he'd dropped by, as a matter of pride and so that he wouldn't worry. But now I was almost shaking with need, and pride was crumbling before lust. Good to know the sins have their uses… Even my snarky inner voice was less than coherent.

"Do you think… you could see me—just me—despite the others?" The words were halting, even as he continued to caress my skin. My whole body was burning, aching to be touched more; my hands, balked of the ability to reciprocate, kept reaching out to him, trying to draw him closer. I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me. "I want you, all of you—even at the wrong time… and in the… wrong place." He turned his attention to my other breast, pushing the fabric roughly aside this time. "Will you have me?" His fingers stroked and teased the hard bud of the nipple until I finally managed to wrench him down on top of me so that I could kiss him—lips, throat, chest.

"…Stupid, clingy, ninja clothes…" The tunic was knitted as well as belted—impossible to remove without real effort. I gave up and twisted my hands in Sasuke's hair, kissing him as hard, as demandingly as he'd kissed me before. I loved the feeling of his body on mine, although the hard length of his cock against my thigh was at once exciting and a reminder that there were still decisions to make that I wanted to ignore.

"Chieko." Sasuke grabbed my upper arms, pinning me to the floor and propping himself up on his elbows. "You need to understand—"

"Whatever it is—"

"You are surrounded by powerful men. And I'm not—Oda Nobunaga, or Toyotomi Hideyoshi, or Tokugawa Ieyasu… Or the kitsune, Akechi." The way he said the last name suggested that he wasn't a fan.

"He's more of a snake," I muttered.

"Chieko…"

"Sasuke, I'm all yours. You're going to have to take my word for it, and trust your judgment. That's how it goes."

He buried his face in my chest, wrapping his arms around my waist. Then he found my breast with his mouth, and let his tongue caress the nipple. I clutched at his hair, moaning; how could he not understand what he was doing to me? Or maybe he did. I was already a panting, needy mess by the time he turned his attention to my other breast, still pinning my lower body under his, his strong arms holding me still when I started to writhe.

When he looked up at last, he had the feverish look from before.

"Clothes…"

"Mm-hm." Finally!

I watched with lust-induced unselfconsciousness as Sasuke sat back on his heels and stripped off belt, tunic, and kimono-shirt. It was absolutely worth the wait, I decided, entranced by his sure, swift movements, and the lean torso and tightly-toned arms that emerged from all the fabric. Muscles and tendons stood out in sharp definition under the mostly-smooth skin, and I longed to be able to touch him, to run my hands over it all.

Sure enough, there was a barely-healed wound on his lower ribs, which still looked painful, although Sasuke had evinced no trace of pain in any of his movements. Then I noticed that the forming scar was hardly the only one there. Impelled by concern, my eyes traced the lines—some faint and white, others more puckered. What the hell had happened to him?

I suddenly realized that Sasuke had stopped moving, and was sitting quite still, watching my face. I loved how he looked, stripped to the waist, flushed with desire, and need raced through me all over again—to be held against him, skin to skin, with nothing between us. He looked away for a moment, then shrugged in something like embarrassment, still not quite meeting my eyes.

"I just wasn't fast enough, when I first got here. I underestimated the training required. That's all. I'm fine now. Please don't worry about it."

"That's not going to work for me, but I can put off worrying for a while longer."

"…Thank you." There was real relief in his tone, and then he rose and stood me on my feet in order to first unfasten, and then unwind, my pretty obi. My kimono, free of the belt and already most of the way off my shoulders, slid to the floor and pooled around my feet. In the custom of the time��as strange as it had been, at first—I wore no undergarments other than the under-kimono, and it clung to me for only a moment before following both obi and kimono. For the first time that day, shyness overtook desire, and I was glad to be facing away.

Sasuke's arm wound around me from behind, and a hand brushed my tumbled hair forward off my shoulders so that we were finally skin-to-skin. Desire came flooding back, heat radiating from the place where his arm held me just under my breasts. Then his lips touched my ear, warm and soft and almost too gentle. I clung tightly to his arm, my head falling back against his chest. The sensation on my ear grew stronger, as lips were joined by tongue and teeth. I felt my knees start to buckle, and the rise and fall of Sasuke's chest against my back sped up, his breath becoming more of a rasp. When his free hand moved from exploring the curve on my waist and hip to caressing my breast, I moaned aloud despite myself, and tried to turn so that I could allow my hands free rein over my lover's skin. I didn't get my way, and it was almost too much.

"Sasuke…" His name came out in a rough whisper. I tried again. "Sasuke… please…" The muscles within my core kept contracting, and I was already so wet with desire. I couldn't imagine more sensation, but I craved it in order to find some kind of release. "Touch me everywhere, let me touch you, please…"

I felt, as much as heard, the sharp hiss of indrawn breath, and then the arm around my ribs slid to my waist. After the barest hesitation, warm fingers began to stroke the soft skin of my lower belly, fingertips brushing across the top of the curls of damp hair concealing my most sensitive, most intimate places. I really did stumble then, but I was suddenly picked up and cradled in Sasuke's arms, and held tightly to his chest.

"Chieko… I want you even more than I imagined… I want all of you… But—"

I pulled his head down to mine, kissing the words from his lips, winding my tongue in his. A very short time later, I was gently laid down on something soft—my futon?—and I finally got most of my wish. Almost as soon as I touched the cool linen, Sasuke's weight settled against me, and a leg wound over mine. His lips once again found my mouth, and ear, and neck, as though he couldn't get enough of kissing me and tasting my skin. I pressed myself closer to him, and then ran my hands through his hair, and across his broad shoulders, and down his side, careful of the injury that he seemed to so completely disregard. As soon as his mouth left mine, I set my lips and teeth against his skin and set about marking him as he'd marked me earlier in the afternoon.

"Chieko."

"Mmmm… But it's my turn…" While my mouth teased and sucked and nipped at his skin, my hand trailed down to trace around his hip bone, and then lower still, to slide over the taught muscle of his outer thigh. I was gratified by a distinct, involuntary tremor at my touch. He was still only half-undressed though, which seemed unfair.

"Chieko—wait. How far… I need to know… I can't promise..." To my surprise, Sasuke set his hands on my shoulders and pushed me far enough away that he could see my face. Had I done something wrong?

"Hmm?" Despite my concern, I smiled to see him there beside me, his face no longer expressionless, his skin bare and warm and inviting to the touch. I hadn't really forgotten our situation, but it felt remote, and I hoped it would stay that way for a while longer. "Okay. I'll listen. Promise." I started to reach out again, then pulled back my hand. Was it weird how much I liked touching him?

"Thanks." He pushed damp hair back from his forehead, and then slid his hand down from my shoulder to my hip.

"That's… not helping. If you want me to listen, I mean."

"Right." He carefully stilled his hand, and visibly collected himself, looking aside in the way that he so often did. When he looked up again, his face was nearly devoid of expression for the first time in quite a while. "…There's no adequate method here… not really… of birth control." He kept his eyes steady on mine, and if he was embarrassed it didn't show. That helped, to a point, sort of. "That doesn't mean—that is, there are other ways… to be together."

Of course there were. And I wanted to explore those possibilities—just not right this moment. What I wanted, more than anything, was for us to be as close as we could possibly be, to have him within me, to feel that intense pleasure together, if we could manage it. Part of me was frustrated—almost irritated—that Sasuke hadn't just allowed me—us—to let passion get the better of good sense. It would have been easier. Then it hit me that it was deep, consistent concern and affection—that's a pretty weak word, are you serious?—for me that had made him push me to make a clear decision.

"…Chieko?" The level tone now held a hint of anxiety. "I should have said something sooner—I did try—but that seemed… presumptuous… And it's been difficult to think straight." Yes, yes it had.

"Sasuke." I whispered his name, not out of a need to be quiet, but because I was trying to come to terms with how much he meant to me.

He pulled me close again, and I lay there for a moment, soaking in his warmth.

"You don't—you won't—regret taking a chance?" I asked.

"No." The answer was quick, firm, absolutely certain. I felt my heart pound against my ribs.

"Then… even though it's… totally cliché"—and you know what, dear Snake? cliché isn't so bad—"take me, I'm yours." I couldn't help a grin, all of a sudden elated with life, and laughing at myself for using such an old line, at such a time, and meaning every word of it.

"I—really?" The hopeful surprise in Sasuke's voice just made me want to laugh more, for some reason. When he suddenly pinned me under him, and pressed his forehead to mine, I saw that that he was smiling, although the desire was vivid in the flush on his cheeks and around his eyes. "…I hope you're prepared—I won't go easy on you."

"No—Sasuke—seriously? Anime again?"

But that was as far as I got, as first my mouth was claimed, and then everything else. Feverish hands stroked my body—arms, sides, breasts, hips, belly, thighs—and finally, finally, caressed and explored the slick, wet folds guarding my core. Oh sweet gods… oh fuck… oh wow… My blood roared in my ears, and instead of being able to reciprocate his touch, I felt my head go back with a wordless, desperate moan.

My hips writhed, utterly beyond my control, when fingers slid inside me, tentatively at first but then with greater assurance, stroking my slick inner walls until my muscles began to convulse. More heat—how was that even possible—and then overwhelming, aching sensation, as the pad of his thumb found and rubbed the tight, engorged bundles of nerves at the very apex of my slit.

"Mmmmmm—nnnnnngghhhhhh—Sa-suke—need you—want you—so much…"

A short—but too-long—pause—and then hand and fingers returned, and his mouth suckled a breast, while one leg hooked tightly around mine as if to close whatever gap was possible. His cock, hard and already wet, pressed deep into my thigh, and somewhere among all the rest, I registered intense satisfaction at knowing that we were both finally, completely naked together, skin to skin in the most intimate way.

Sasuke finally shifted, trailing kisses up my chest and neck to my mouth. He was back on top of me again, breathing heavily, eyes unfocussed. My hands clung to his back, fingers tight on his skin, as he ground himself against me. I couldn't hear my own moaning, whimpering sounds for the blood rushing in my ears.

His mouth moved from my lips and neck to my ear.

"Now? Is that… okay?"

"Okay? Yes… any time—please—" I squirmed against him, so wet I would have been embarrassed if I hadn't been completely past rational—or even irrational—thought.

I felt the head of his cock slide over trembling, pulsing folds, press hard against the tight entrance to my core. Then with a low groan that goaded my arousal to desperation, he thrust into me, hard and deep, holding nothing back. I know I cried out, my fingers clawing at his skin as I tried to pull him in ever farther, and deeper. Make me yours, I whispered to him in my mind, and be mine. I want everything you have to give. Then there was nothing left in the world but the need to move together, reaching for and claiming every sweeping wave of pleasure, every intense, scorching moment of our bodies joined together.

When I reached my limit, orgasm overtaking and drowning all other sensation, I found his name on my lips like a prayer, and it tasted sweet and familiar. Sasuke… I think… No, I know… I love you. I cherish you. I want to be with you no matter what. How did this happen to me? My body shuddered around him, and my teeth closed on his shoulder. A moment later, I felt his release within me, hot and hard, all rhythm overset by the short, wild thrusts of climax. His cry was incoherent, his face vulnerable in passion. I love you—I just didn't know, before. I'm happy, so happy that I got to find out. I felt tears on my cheeks, from the still pulsing, overwhelming release, and from emotional overload.

Fingers, strong and competent, brushed away the tears. Sasuke kissed me softly, first on the corner of one eye, then on the cheek, and finally on the lips.

"Chieko—please—please tell me that I didn't hurt you in any way…"

The anxiety in his voice brought me back to myself and reality.

"No… not at all… no. I feel wonderful. Maybe a bit overwhelmed with—with everything. I think we should stay together forever." The last part slipped out unbidden.

To my surprise, Sasuke's response came immediately. "We will." Then he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him to lie in the hollow of his shoulder, bodies still touching all along my length. "I hope you won't mind too much."

I laughed, still quivering and euphoric. "No… And you can show me the stars."

"Yes. Although in point of fact I'm studying astrophysics, not astronomy. …Looking at the stars is just a hobby."

"That's fine, I've noticed you're pretty good at your hobbies."

"Chieko?"

"Mm-hm?"

"I couldn't say this earlier—or rather, I didn't want you to think it was just… a line." I went still, my eyes fixed on his profile. He turned his head, his brown eyes clear and calm. "I love you." He shrugged awkwardly—especially awkwardly since I was lying on one shoulder. "You may already know that, but I wanted to tell you anyway."

On the off chance that you're spying on us, Mitsuhide, I hope this is causing cavities. But… thank you for giving me this. Because I think you did. Maybe. Did you have to shoot my boyfriend first, though?

"This is a pretty good anime," I told Sasuke, finally finding the energy to prop myself up on his—very, very nice—chest. "I'm no expert, but aren't we short a few totally-avoidable misunderstandings and one unnecessary parting?"

"And several interfering friends who try to help but just make things worse. And rain. The next time it rains I'll come find you so that we can kiss in the rain." He sounded thoughtful. Very Sasuke. I gave up on staring into his face and snuggled into him instead.

After several blissful minutes, I finally looked over at the light filtering in around the window-screen. It wasn't fair... I sat up, only a little shy about my tumbled hair and naked body. I let my hand wander over the planes of Sasuke's chest, trying not to think too hard about the scars on his sides, arms, and—now visible—legs. There weren't as many as I'd thought, and he'd obviously made his peace with them. Then I leaned over to kiss his lips.

"You're probably trying to figure out how to say that you have to go without making it sound like you want to go," I told him. "But it's okay. Despite how things went—which I can't regret—I really do want you to be safe."

"…Thank you." Sasuke trapped my hand against his chest, but didn't otherwise move. "We've still got well over an hour until sunset, although I wish it were more. It won't take me long to write a concise report for Lord Mitsuhide—I'm good at reports."

"Oh?" My attempt at being cool and practical was sabotaged by my treacherous body.

"I want to make love to you again."

He said it quietly, but decisively, and I felt my heartbeat rise along with the heat in my cheeks. When he pulled me down on top of him, I went willingly.

[END—FOR NOW]

A/Note: Your notes, reblogs, likes, and PMs are always appreciated! I hope to write a conclusion to this story, so please be patient with me!

Tags: @ikemenprincessnaga @shell-senji @flower-dragon @acrispyapple @nalufever @hidetheremote @llama-in-socks @eliz1369 @yum-chan @cherryb0mb79 @canadiangaap

@kitsune-mana @rosyangel95 @blueberrypancaaaakes @under-sengoku-skies @vespeshadowmoon

Please comment or send a PM if you’d like to be tagged. I apologize if I missed anyone.

#ikesen #ikesen fanfiction #sarutobi sasuke #akechi mitsuhide #chaos theory #imp writes #impracticaldemon

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brazilroom28 · 4 years

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' Flat Stubborn Belly Overnight' Evaluation.

Why PT Milton Keynes: Are Skinny Fat.

Content

Team Exercise.

Essential Educating Variables.

Pilates Vs Yoga Exercise: The Distinctions And Also What'S Right For You.

Exactly How Do I Develop My Very Own Exercise Strategy?

Incline Strolling Vs Running.

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Regrettably, the totally free version does not enable you to log body dimensions. Hello, I have actually lost 4 extra pounds in my first week and also im concerned regarding recoiling this weight, I reduced to concerning 1000 calories every day and also workout for half an hour. I wish to shed 20 pounds and also im enjoying this procedure thus far however I don't wish to run the risk of gaining it all back as well as a lot more not long after I shed it, I began at 69.5 kg. Finally, the behavior part of non-linear weight management takes place due to adaptation. Your body is made to adjust to whatever situations it regularly experiences.

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Pilates Vs Yoga: The Differences And What'S Right For You.

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Exactly How Do I Create My Own Workout Plan?

They understand they need a trained expert or perhaps a group of experts to assist them identify the most effective instructions and to provide objective assistance and comments. Without this, it is practically impossible to attain quality.

Slope Strolling Vs Running.

youtube

So for the very first time I have actually started tracking calories as well as macronutrients. Using on-line calorie calculators I think at my current elevation, weight, and also task level I melt concerning 2800 calories each day.

At a specific factor, the body evaluates specifically what it requires to in order to run a mile. If the jogger intends to maintain losing weight, they will need to alter something regarding their regimen. They might run 2 miles, run 1 mile quicker, or reduce calories.

Initially, see to it that 1/2 your plate is covered in non-starchy vegetables at every dish. Secondly, make sure that you're eating appropriate quantities of lean healthy protein each day. Points like chicken breast, fish, and lean cuts of meat. You ought to be consuming 3-4 palm-sized items of healthy protein daily. I would certainly be wiling to bet that those 2 small adjustments to your diet would certainly produce extraordinary outcomes.

While eating prepackaged foods makes it simple to follow a diet plan in the short-term, it does not instruct the skills required to slim down on your own. The Jenny Craig diet is developed to assist people lose weight by minimizing calories through portion-controlled meals and also snacks. Noom aims to assist you drop weight like a lot of commercial diet regimen strategies as well as programs-- by producing a calorie deficit. According to Noom, people that utilize their program and take on a healthy lifestyle can anticipate to shed 1-- 2 extra pounds (0.5-- 1 kg) each week.

Perhaps that's due to the fact that center aged grownups are elevating youngsters, handling workers, as well as have A LOT of individuals relying on them. So, excellent on you for prioritizing yourself when I make sure it was extremely challenging to do so.

This will enable you to log your weight, water intake, workout, morning meal, lunch, dinner or snacks. While adding food, you can browse the app, scan a barcode or choose from a current favorite. While you'll need to upgrade to obtain all the app's food insights, you can check out calories, carbs, healthy protein as well as fat absolutely free. Across all-time low of the application, you'll locate a few different attributes including the "Food Finder" barcode and also the major "Tracker" house tab.

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boglog · 6 years

Text

Wholesome Questionare Tag Meme

Tagged by @80sglamcowboy Rules are: -Post the rules -Answer the questions given to you by the tagger -Write eleven questions of your own -Tag eleven people

This is long as Hell, friends and I apologise.

One inquisitive bitch has asked me:

1. Name one person (real or fictional) that you think you could 100% take on in a fight

Foaming mouth guy from Avatar. He’s got no stamina, barely any health, no skill. He’s unfocused and weak and my noodley nerd-ass could take him. (Though I am a little concerned he has rabies.)

2. What’s your favourite snack rn

Grilled cheese w veggies, mustard, and grilled tofu w a side of ketchup made by my roommate. It’s honestly the purest thing.

3. Which apocalypse do you think you’d do the best in? (i.e. Nuclear winter/ robot uprising/ Too many vampires, etc)

O man. I love apocalypse movies and I love survival horror (that one episode of the X Files where they’re trapped in a cabin, anybody?). I also genuinely love camping and I’m a bit of a medical hobbyist. I also watched an unreasonable amount of prepper videos on YouTube. That said, as mentioned above, I am a couch potato weekling. Furthermore, I don’t do well in conflict so if the world hierarchy collapses into a power vacuum where you have to Orange is the New Black-style intimidate ppl for supplies, I would melt and die quickly.

My best bet, it would seem, is an Arrival-esque alien apocalypse where the ones who have enough patience and sci fi knowledge to communicate w aliens are at the top of the food chain. And worst case scenario it’s better for my ego to die at the hands of an alien than a human.

Sci go apocalypses are just cleaner y'know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 4. Best and worst fandom you’ve been in? Or have you somehow managed to avoid fandom completely?

Worst has to be Steven Universe. I regret not just moving on after I got bored. Ah well.

(I also think celebrity/real ppl fandoms are a dead end.)

My other fandoms all have various pros and cons and it’s hard to pick a favourite.

Adventure Time has great fanart, great meta and ppl have yet to descend into Homestuck-ian chaos. That said, they’re quiet af. People also fixate way too much on the fake fanfic AU Fionna and Cake. I have yet to read a really good Bonny/Marcy fic and that is a tragedy (a few have come close tho). Bottom line for AT tho is that it’s my go to wholesome cartoonist fandom. I like that it has depth but that it’s generally very simple and fun and that the fans are mostly shut in animation adults.

AtLA/LoK fandom’s biggest pro is that it’s huge and you literally never ran out of quality content. I’ve even made a few friends via this decade old franchise. It’s also enjoyably rich and complex. One of my favourite (now inactive) blogs was one that connected world building and little background Easter eggs to real Chinese history and culture. That wAs so cool!! I defs think as a Chinese person it allowed me to connect to non-western culture in a socially acceptable way.

The downsides tho are many: it can be overwhelmingly complicated (esp as someone who knows jack shit abt Chinese history), people take it too seriously, The Great Shipping Wars, it’s so big it’s a little lonely, the show itself has so many flaws upon greater inspection you wonder why you wasted your time on anything related to it, it’s an Asian themed story created by white dudes who make fun of their fans, the best parts of the show were written by other writers but those same white guys get k the credit. Also as w any fandom related to POC culture, racism happens. Anyways most of you know this already. IMO the best thing to have happened do the fandom is korrasami. Now it’s just abt Asian lesbians ruling the world.

(Though I also thoroughly enjoy the Family Rivalry part of the fandom. There are so mNy dysfunctional families to choose from!)

Rick and Morty is technically speaking my newest fandom. It’s got a lot of obvious cons (pickle Rick sexists, Szechuan sauce racists, asfhkkh incest) but one other con is just how pedantic and overly analytical people are abt the world building. I can’t breathe wo being corrected. RM has a misleadingly complicated high sci fi aesthetic that begets the kind of overanalysing my brand of overanalytical nerdiness can’t handle. Too many alternate universes. It’s just too complicated.

However one thing I like is that conversely I can overanalyse the writing and characters’ psychology/relationships (which I LOVE) and ppl take me very seriously. (At least they used to.) it’s kinda validating to have your 3k word essay on an old man’s bedroom and what that signifies for his depression get over 1k notes.

Rm also attracts the fun, super talented animation crowd so there’s boundless fanart and memes. I never knew I would like a gravity falls crossover retirement home AU btwn Rick and Stan so much but the art is objectively gorgeous?? So ??

I really dislike the lack of attention the female characters get from fandom bc they’re all really great? Female rep is limited but both canon and fic really do their 2-3 tokens justice. Also the jerry hatred is getting old (that male aggression… Like… Calm down, Jake) but it’s a refreshing departure drom when Megg from family guy was the butt of the joke.

Harry Potter, one of the pillars of nerd society, has both changed my life and irreconcilably annoyed me to death. (W no thanks to the racist creator herself!) One can’t underestimate how huge the hp fandom is which offers you as many reasons to love it as reasons not to. Harry Potter’s canon has complex world building that’s also charming enough not to take itself too seriously and much the same could b said of fanon. To a degree. Certain corners of the fanbase are fantastic shitposters and meme-ers and can draw you back in like a black hole. Casually enjoying Harry potter imo is where it’s at. The fanfic is probably one of the most impressively vast. Strangers at Drakesaugh, believe it or not, still updates and not only that, I still read it.

Not casually enjoying Harry potter is, um, yikes? HP and Hunger Games love to insert themselves appropriately in real life political traumas and honestly the dedication of the fandom can be overwhelming.

The HP fanart corner of deviantart circa 2010-12 and @flocc HP comics however are the best.

Meet the Robinsons, Ye Olde Fandom, still stands to this day. (Thanks in part to me ngl) As Iroh might say, they are a proud people. MTR is so bizarre and tiny it’s the only fandom I was able to read EVERY fic summary in existence (ones published on obscure sites excepted). The fandom has never ceased to surprise me for better or worse and mostly due to its age range. The original movie was intended for 8-12 yr olds and their (jaded) parents which means that now, ten years later, the fans are anywhere between 12 and 25. It has approximately 20 pieces of professional-grade fanart and fic and I am downright serious abt the quality and thoughtful complexity of this minority of fanart. Like I shit you not some of it’s almost too dark. However, tragically, one can’t talk abt obscure Disney fandoms wo also mentioning the incest ships (this is what happens when middleschoolers have to resort to cartoons to explore their sexuality in an anti sex ed world), the disorganised crossovers, and the blinding lack of imagination. Nonetheless, that a fandom of any kind could sprout from a 90 min cgi movie before the recession, based off an obscure but objectively fascinating children’s book, is still impressive. The fandoms smallness can in many wars work to everybody’s benefit: it’s a tightly knit community w little to no drama. And lots of memes (that I mostly make) to enjoy sincerely or ironically.

I’m also going to mention, very briefly, the Twin Peaks fandom, most of whom, even the die hards, are v casual when it comes to fan content (I need more fic damnit). Nonetheless it’s a decidedly cool art kid crowd for an art house show and I really enjoy befriending twin peaks watchers.

5. What’s one hot food that you prefer cold? (or, alternatively, one cold food you like hot)

Is it snobby to say I like food to be the temperature God intended?

Like I like cold pizza and salad-y pasta but I wouldn’t mind if everything were room temperature as long as the food itself was well made.

6. ya like jazz? What music do you enjoy listening to? Can you recommend any songs/ artists from that genre?

I think in some contexts I can like jazz. It’s very cosy and nostalgic, it can make you feel like a grand dame stepping out of your limo into your martini filled mansion as records pop around you and your fur carpeted living room. I also occasionally like jazz covers and alternate genres of jazz like electro swing etc.

Generally though I also think jazz is a little antiquated and a little all over the place. I lean more towards the ambiguous minimalism of mellow techno music like Jonna Lee, Grimes, Björk, early Lorde, Yasmine Hamdan, Austra, TRST, etc

I mean I don’t stick to just one genre (I imagine most ppl don’t). I like alternative (Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, Joanna Newsom) and some musicians who seem to completely exist outside of genre like iMonster and the Gorillaz. Not to mention straight up pop like broods, Ellie goulding, lady gaga and Lana del rey. (I mean technically Ldr isn’t pop but u get the ideer)

7. What binge worthy show do you like?

So many man. There are so many out there! Twin peaks, Transparent, Love, Grace and Frankie, Adventure Time, House of Cards, Bojack Horseman, Rick and Morty, Mad Men, Girls, Broad City, Black Mirror, Avatar TLA, 6Teen, Chowder, Over the Garden Wall, Flapjack, the first season of Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, etc

The list goes on. I’m a TV fiend.

8. What’s an old meme that you miss and wish would be brought back?

Always liked the Gothic [x town or whatever] meme. It was like a text post version of the cursed images meme. Currently I’m really enjoying the song from another room meme and I hope even after it gets old it’ll make a comeback.

9. Tell me your aesthetic  

O man. That’s a can of worms! Okay. Deep breath.

I like futurism, of all kinds. I like strong lines and clear shapes. I like colour blocking and minimalism and glass and holographic LED neons. I like white Japanese urban tiled buildings. I like aliens and ruins and cubes and white and colour blocking and black. I like technology and aliens and Comme des Garçons and Issey Miyake. Rooms that are empty but for one light and one window and one plant. Love that.

I like the midcentury cubism and Mod and 30’s futurism. Clear and strong industrial shapes and curves and post modernist abstractionism.

I also love nature, I love most every Björk and Iamamiwhoami music video. I love the mountains and the forests and the desert and the winter tundra and most of all I love the water. A vast expanse of sky and sea w so many colours and textures. I love the 2000s and funny blob shapes and y2k’s obsession w secondary colours and shiny round things. Love pink. I am a grown adult who will never tire of pink. (Though I don’t really like when people overdo pink.) I love cursed image family photos taken with flash in a suburb. I love the grime and the sanitary aesthetic of suburbs and hospitals and brutalist office spaces. The fluorescent lights of the institution but with purple carpeting!

I love 70s mod and I love colorful 80s brutalism I like it when houses are shaped weirdly and they have carpets and polished curved wooden countertops and spacious nothingness where everything looks clean and cosy and bizarrely ugly and it all looks like an art gallery w too many plants.

I also really love maximalism and wood and detail and fur and velvet and embroidery and silk and windows and wood carvings.

I love 70s kitsch like John waters movies and Shrimps designer fake fur CDG17 where they just piled on knickknack after knickknack onto white dresses w food long trains. Toys and novelty items and lamps shaped like a woman’s leg in a fishnet stocking. (See also: most Tim burton movies, wes Anderson, Carrie fishers house)

An overwhelming mishmash of wool patterns with clean cubic 70s architecture and so many plants and windows and wallpaper and candles and cobwebs. Also really like witchy mourning jewelry and essentially every house in Harry potter. Love the unfortunately racist boho/hippie aesthetic. Any house designed by bill kirsch is a masterpiece. Woven baskets on the ceiling piles of hats and art supplies everywhere. Stuff!! Everywhere! Hidden passageways reading nooks fireplaces the Pink Palace from Coraline!

Everything!!!

I’m a cartoonist who’s a nerd for design so I like when concepts are taken to the extreme in a humourously charming and clear-minded way. Whatever aesthetic someone chooses, they should go all out and really dedicate themselves to the highest form of that aesthetic. It has to be perfect without being sanitary of fake. It has to be alive yet beautiful, frozen in one perfect moment.

10. Favourite time of day and why?

Dusk. I think it’s a nostalgia thing. I loved the hours before bed time as well the hours before dinner when it was getting dark and the sun was reflecting freaky colours along the horizon while I ran around the grass. It’s cozy but it’s spacious and adventurous. So many things can happen at dusk!

  11. You have the choice to live in any fictional universe - which one do you pick and why?

Harry Potter!!! You get the best of both worlds: magical, over-romanticised Victorian/medievalism, wish-fulfillment surrealism and wifi. It’s great. Likelihood of dying is so low, medicine is so advanced and even then ppls n°1 choice of lethal weapon (Avada Kedavra) is painless. Me and Luna could hang in her garden. I’d never have to pay for the subway again. I could live a nomadic life in a tent w infinite space. If you chose to live as a wizard amongst Muggles you’re basically god and you can cheat capitalism. Gravity is my bitch! And I’m not gna lie my dream house has always been a combination of The Burrow, the Lovegood house, and Shell Cottage.

My turn to pick your brain:

1 Favourite texture?

2 Favourite smell?

3 Favourite children’s book/children’s TV show? (I’m talking about the bizarre abstract ones for toddlers)

4 Best and worst prank you’ve ever pulled?

5 Weirdest beginning of a friendship?

6 When you’ve been in fandom for a while you start to notice you’ve a habit of staying in the same corners. What corner are you in? Are you part of the fluffy ship corner? The intense world building spec meta corner? The shitpost comic fanart corner? Etc

7 If you could invent a class that would be obligatory for all high schools across your country what would it be?

8 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve gotten at Halloween while trick or treating?

9 Weirdest family tradition of yours?

10 Describe your significant other (or your crush, or your dream partner or if you’re aromantic your fave person) through only TV references.

11 Favourite piece of dialogue in a movie?

I don’t know 11 ppl but nonetheless tagging: @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat @skairheart @nochangenohope @eventheslightestrayofsunshine@autistic-jaredkleinman@phoenixkluke

…and YOU (if you were not mentioned above and so choose to accept this mission)

#tag meme #u #food m ?

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tigerkirby215 · 4 years

Text

5e Vi the Piltover Enforcer build (League of Legends)

Have you ever really wanted to be a total rebel flipping tables in D&D? Have you ever wanted to improve how much damage you can send through the roof? Was there ever any certain time that you thought brute Strength and Charisma combined?

Well I guess now it’s time to shine because finally; she’s here. Here comes Vi.

GOALS

Violence - As Vi’s motto goes: “Punch first; ask questions while punching.”

Vitality - Vi is deceptively tanky, capable of shielding herself and keeping enemies down while she beats them down.

Vision - As a matter of fact the best bet one has is to quickly react. We’ll need to be able to get in quick and start punching so that the baddies don’t get away.

RACE

Vi’s only human but she’s naturally gifted inventor, and with all those tattoos of hers one could easily be written off as the Mark of Making from Eberron. As part of House Cannith your Intelligence increases by 2 and you can also increase an ability score of your choice by 1: naturally that will be Strength because have you seen Vi’s... hands?

You also get Artisan’s Intuition which lets you add a d4 to any Arcana (Hextech) check as well as any check involving Artisan’s Tools, and Maker’s Gift which gives you proficiency with one Artisan’s Tool of your choice: choose Mason’s Tools because you need to know how to build a wall if you want to break it down!

But the most notable skill you have is Spellsmith: you get the Mending cantrip for free which is always good to have, but most notably you can cast the Magic Weapon spell once per Long Rest. But when you cast the spell it doesn’t require concentration. Do you know how good an hour-long +1 to your weapon is? Consider this your Denting Blows doing their work.

You also get a language of your choice: much like with Warwick I’d consider Riedran to be the language of Zaun but if that isn’t up to your fancy I bet a lot of the people in Piltover speak Elvish.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - Vi stands for vizer, and while you aren’t prophetic you’ll be needing brains for the vast majority of your class features.

14; CONSTITUTION - Vi stands for vice, and you need to be able to squeeze as well as be squeezed.

13; CHARISMA - Vi stands for vixen, with looks that kill which are needed to multiclass.

12; STRENGTH - A little lower than I’d like, but Vi stands for viable with Standard Array. We’ll also be getting ways to remedy your strength later in the build.

10; DEXTERITY - Vi stands for underprivileged; you can’t have everything high with Standard Array and the skills we’ll be missing from our low DEX will be made up for later in the build.

8; WISDOM - Vi stands for vicious. You’re a hothead who makes punching jokes constantly.

BACKGROUND

You’re Piltover’s Finest member of the City Watch, which is a background from the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. You get proficiency with Athletics and Insight for back-alley brawls and straightforward interrogation. You also get two languages of your choice and guess what I’m going to say? Pick what you want because it really doesn’t matter!

Your main feature as part of the City Watch is Watcher’s Eye. You can easily find both Piltover guard outposts and Zaun gang hideouts, but Caitlin is far more likely to welcome you for a cup of tea than the chembarrons will be welcoming for a cup of punch in the face.

(Artwork from uhdpaper.com)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - PALADIN 1

Here’s a shocker! Truth be told the main reason we’re going into Paladin first is for their skill proficencies, which we can’t get from our other class...es! Anyways Paladins get proficiency in two skills of their choice: Intimidation and Persuasion will round out our interrogation skills.

You also get Divine Sense to locate any baddies who need some punching. As an action you can detect the location of any celestial, fiend, or undead within 60 feet of you that is not behind total cover. You know the creature’s type but not its identity, and also detect the presence of any place or object that has been consecrated or desecrated for the duration, which lasts until your next turn. You can use this feature a number of times equal to 1 + your Charisma modifier (so currently twice) and regain any expended uses on a Long Rest.

You also have some Refillable Potions with Lay on Hands. You have a pool of health equal to five times your Paladin level which you can use to heal the sick. As an action you can heal a target for an amount of health up to the maximum of your Lay on Hands pool, or can spend 5 hit points to neutralize one disease or poison affecting the target. I’m sure Caitlin gave Vi some basic medical supplies in her Hextech gauntlets. That’s the excuse I’ll be going for anyways. But speaking of Hextech...

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 1

Here’s the real meat and potatoes of this build. As an Artificer you get access to Magical Tinkering, letting you do a variety of simple Hextech modifications to a tiny object. I recommend reading the ability over to see everything you can do. You can have a number of these active equal to your Intelligence modifier, which is currently 3.

You also get Spellcasting as an Artificer, using your tools as your focus. You learn two cantrips from the Artificer list: Shocking Grasp will serve the role of your gauntlets for now, which isn’t to say it’s a bad spell. (But you might want to swap it out for something else after you get proper weapons.) You make a melee spell attack and on a hit you do a d8 of Lighting damage, and the target can’t make reactions on the turn. Light meanwhile will let you light up your gauntlets in the dark, because you can’t see in the dark, you silly human.

Artificers are prepared spellcasters, meaning you can swap out your spell list at the end of of a Long Rest. With that in mind the spells I suggests are going to be exactly what I said they are: suggestions for the most in-character spells, but feel free to swap them out as needed. Expeditious Retreat, despite it’s name, is not necessary to retreat. It gives you the ability to Dash as a Bonus Action for its duration, allowing you to chase an enemy down with Vault Breaker. Feather Fall will let you cushion your fall in case you get knocked back, and Longstrider is a non-concentration based speed increase.

LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 2

Second level Artificers can Infuse Items to turn them into magic items! You can choose four Infusions at this level but can only craft 2 at a time:

Enhanced Defense will let you block some blows with your gauntlets.

Enhanced Weapon meanwhile will let you punch harder with your gauntlets!

The Goggles of Night from the Replicate Magic Items list look stylish as heck, and also give you Darkvision as a human.

And Caitlin would appreciate if you took good care of her rifle by making it a Repeating Shot weapon.

But much like everything else with Artificer take these as suggestions, meaning that you’re free to instead take what’s more useful to the party instead of what’s useful to you. Can you tell that I really like Artificer?

Oh and you can also prepare another spell: how about Catapult to chuck some rocks at the enemy? Gnar gada!

LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 3

3rd level Artificers have The Right Tool for the Job, letting them spend an hour to create a set of Artisan’s Tools that they might need. But more importantly they get their Artificer Specialty and I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone that we’ll be going for the Armorer Artificer from the Unearthed Arcana.

As an Armorer you can make Power Armor with your Smith’s Tools (which you also gain proficiency with) which doesn’t have a Strength requirement, replaces any lost limbs when it merges to your body, and can be used as a focus for your Artificer spells. I know Vi doesn’t really wear armor but you can reflavor the armor as giant metal fists: I’d recommend grabbing (or crafting!) a set of Cast-Off Platemail as soon as possible so you can quickly take your fists off if they get grabbed by a giant enemy crab.

You can choose between two armor models and the Guardian model comes with fisticuffs known as Thunder Gauntlets, which do a d8 of Thunder damage and also give enemies disadvantage on attacks other than you due to being disoriented by giant metal fists punching them. You can use your Intelligence instead of your Strength to attack with these which is why we kept our Intelligence high. You can also use your Bonus Action to make a Defensive Field, creating a Blast Shield of temporary hitpoints equal to your Artificer level.

You can’t prepare any more spells at this level but you do get Magic Missile as well as the Shield spell. The former isn’t quite in-character but the latter is great to keep your defense ungodly high. Also seeing as we got some punching fists now I’d recommend swapping out Shocking Grasp and grabbing Chilling Smite (the... you know what I mean) with Ray of Frost. It’s always good to have a ranged option to slow the enemy down!

IF UA ISN’T ALLOWED: This build does work with Battle Smith I guess but it loses a lot of its flavor. If forced to play Battle Smith feel free to reflavor your fists as a magic Warhammer. You won’t be able to put on Plate as fast as Battle Smith but you’ll still have Heavy Armor proficiency thanks to your starting level in Paladin.

But truthfully Armorer Artificer is about on-par with Battle Smith if not a little weaker. I’d recommend at least trying to convince your DM of that before they force you to get a robot dog.

LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 4

The uneven ability scores are annoying me so increase your Charisma and your Intelligence by 1 with this Ability Score Improvement.

And with a higher intelligence you can prepare two more spells! Detect Magic will let you detect any stolen Hextech and get a general idea what it does, and Grease can be a good trick for a getaway!

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 2

Now that we got our fists it’s time for some Excessive Force! Second level Paladins get Spellcasting but can instead ignore their spell slots for Divine Smite! When you hit a creature with your fists you can spend one spell slot to deal extra radiant damage. The damage is 2d8 for a 1st-level spell slot, plus 1d8 for each spell level higher than 1st, to a maximum of 5d8 with a 5th level slot. The damage increases by 1d8 if the target is an undead or a fiend, to a maximum of 6d8. You could probably make the argument that some of Zaun’s more freakish freakshows are undead?

But since we got spells anyways we may as well prepare them: Bless will make your punches a little more accurate, letting you add a d4 to your attack rolls, Divine Favor will make your punches a little more punch, adding a d4 Radiant damage if you hit, and Heroism will make sure that you don’t back down from a fight! Paladins are prepared spellcasters though much like Artificers, so I would also possibly recommend Shield of Faith if you want to be harder to hit. Or... you know... the Smite spells.

Ah and you get a Fighting Style. There are a few options to choose from: Defense is great for more AC but Dueling (depending on your DM’s interpretation of your Hulk Hands) will increase your damage! If your DM’s stingy about you technically having two fists just equip a shield! Boom: now you have Defense and Dueling! Doesn’t pay to be stingy, cupcake!

LEVEL 7 - ARTIFICER 5

Quickly hopping back to Artificer for our Extra Attack. Hitting ‘em hard once is more important, but you know what else is good? Hitting ‘em hard twice!

And how about some second level Armorer spells? Mirror Image is a little wacky but is certainly useful, making you harder to hit. Shatter however is much more Vi’s speed, smashing objects as well as people! But don’t forget you can prep second level spells too~ And since you’re multiclassing you have a lot more spell slots relative to your level. Not like you aren’t going to use them all for Smites though.

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 3

There are two options for Sacred Oaths to take, which I’ll both explain. The main appeal of either of them is your Channel Divinity options, which I’ll also talk about.

Option 1: Oath of Conquest. Your two Channel Divinity options are as follows:

Conquering Presence - As an action you force each creature of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you to make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save they become frightened of you for 1 minute. The frightened creature can repeat this saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. This is a good way to make some space but remember that your Charisma isn’t that high, so the DC for this ability isn’t high either.

Guided Strike - Just stick a flat +10 onto an attack roll. You can do it after you see the roll but before you know the result, but most of the time a +10 will let you hit. Great if you need to knockout a key foe.

You also get the Armor of Agathys and Command spells always prepared, which can further control your enemies and keep you safe.

Option 2: Oath of Vengeance. As for Vengeance’s Channel Divinities you have:

Abjure Enemy - Choose a dude within 60 feet of you that you can see and force them to make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save the creature is frightened for 1 minute or until it takes any damage, and while frightened the creature’s speed is 0, and it can’t benefit from any bonus to its speed. On a successful save, the creature’s speed is halved for 1 minute or until the creature takes any damage. Fiends and undead have disadvantage on this saving throw and creatures that can’t be frightened can’t be affected by this. Overall while this can hit as many people as Conquering Presence it’s a great way to keep one enemy at bay while you pound the rest of their friends.

Vow of Enmity - As a bonus action you can mark a creature you can see within 10 feet of you for a smackdown using your Channel Divinity. You gain advantage on attack rolls against the creature for 1 minute unless one of you fall unconscious first. This is the boss killer: target the most dangerous enemy with Assault and Battery and knock them face first into the proving ground!

Vengeance Paladins also have the Bane and Hunter’s Mark spells always prepared, so you can make sure the enemy stops resisting.

Personally I opted for Vengeance but regardless of which one you pick you get Divine Health, because justice doesn’t take a sick day.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9

Your now a misfit always ready to brawl, with your business roughing up their friends as the law. But as a matter of fact the best bet one has is to quickly react to the first attack that’s aiming for the bones cause you can never go back so just risk it. With that run-on sentence how can you be the first to attack?

WIZARD 1

YOU’RE A WIZARD MOTHERFUCKER! Level 1 Wizards don’t get much beyond Arcane Recovery, letting them recover half their level (rounded up, so 1) in spell slots on a Short Rest.

But you also get Spellcasting: 3 cantrips and a total of 5 prepared spells at this level. For your cantrips Sword Burst is a good backup damage source against enemies that resist your Thunder Gauntlets or have high AC, Mold Earth lets you put those mining tools you stuck to your hands to good use, and Friends is a funny spell that gives you Advantage on Charisma checks. 5e veterans are probably saying “but doesn’t the target hate you after you cast Friends?” Well here’s a little trick for ya: Intimidation is a Charisma check too, meaning that you can cast Friends and then do some Piltover Interrogation. Who cares if they’re mad when they’re terrified of you?

Wizards are prepared spellcasters much like Artificers and Paladins but they have a unique mechanic with their spellbook, forcing them to find spells out in the wild to write down before being able to prepare them. You get 6 Wizard spells at level 1 and every time you level up you can get 2 more spells. If you find a spell scroll or another spell book you can copy any spells into your spellbook, but we won’t be going too far into Wizard so you’ll only be able to grab first level spells. Regardless a big spell list is always useful! Anyways I’ll do my best to list the most in-character spells but feel free to grab whatever you see that’s useful.

Absorb Elements is great for some “I’m Rubber Your Glue”, letting the damage the enemy deals bounce off you and stick to them!

The Unearthed Arcana spell Acid Stream is a little brutal for the “good guys” but you don’t play fair. Smash a chemflask and throw that stuff at the baddies!

Comprehend Languages is good for interrogations, though I doubt you care what the criminals have to say.

Earth Tremor lets you strike the earth to knock your enemies over and make it harder for them to walk.

Identify is useful for identifying any stolen Hextech.

Unseen Servant is great if you want Caitlin to do some sheriff work in the background. The Unseen Servant is unseen, and can do some servant work for you. I recommend reading the spell over to see everything the Servant can do but in a lot of ways it’s a better Mage Hand.

It should be mentioned that you need a focus or components to cast your Wizard spells, and your armor only works for your Artificer spells. The weird thing about multiclassing between three spellcasters in 5e is that you need a focus for each class. But here’s a combo you can do which is technically legal:

“Hold” your Arcane Focus in one hand

Put a Holy Symbol on your armor

Use your armor to channel your Artificer spells

Is this legal? By all accounts yes. Does this look silly as hell? Also yes, but remember that it’s just for your DM to know that you can do this with the rules as written. You’re more than welcome to pretend that you’re not holding your focus and aren’t even wearing armor! This is a roleplaying game, after all.

LEVEL 10 - WIZARD 2

God I hate Wizard, but it’ll all be worth it for our Arcane Tradition. And what better tradition for a misfit who’s ready to brawl but War Magic? As a War Mage you get Tactical Wit, letting you add your Intelligence to your Initiative which is good because it was starting to feel like you weren’t ready to brawl!

You also get a lighter Blast Shield with Arcane Deflection, letting you add 2 to your AC or 4 to your Saving Throws. Yeah Shield will provide more AC but that’s limited, and you can’t improve Saving Throws with Shield. You also can’t cast leveled spells after using Arcane Deflection but you know what you can do? Punch!

As for another two spells to add to your list? How about you blind people with Color Spray and cause fear with... Cause Fear. Everyone panic!

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 6

It’s straight down Artificer now thank god. 6th level Artificers get Tool Expertise letting them double their proficiency bonus with tool checks. Yup that’s what Expertise is!

You also get more Infusions woo! Since you’re using Light to see in the dark (you human you~) I’d recommend grabbing a Radiant Weapon to light the way instead. And seeing as we’re walking around with giant metal fists how about some Boots of Elvenkind to muffle out footsteps (so this way you make a flat Stealth check, instead of one with Disadvantage!) But again: get Infusions that will help your party, as these are just suggestions.

And finally you can prepare more spells. Seeing as we’ve been able to get Second Level spells for awhile now how about an Elixir of Iron? Enlarge / Reduce is two spells in one, letting you enlarge or reduce a creature or object in size. If you enlarge the target it becomes twice as large and eight times as heavy, and if it’s a creature it has advantage on Strength checks and saves and does an extra d4 of damage with its weapons. Inversely reducing them makes them half size, eight times lighter, gives them disadvantage on Strength checks / saves, and makes them do a d4 less damage. (They can’t do less than 1 damage though.)

If the target is unwilling it can make a Constitution check but I’m sure you and your allies are willing to be huge! Truthfully though Enlarge / Reduce isn’t the best for combat, but it’s great for puzzle solving out-of-combat since you can target objects too! You’d be surprised how many problems can be solved with a really big rock.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 7

Level 7 Artificers get Flash of Genius: When you or another creature you can see within 30 feet makes an ability check or a saving throw, you can use your reaction to add your Intelligence modifier to the roll. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Vi stands for virtuous, and a good jungler always helps their teammates.

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 8

At 8th level you get another Ability Score Improvement but I say the best bet you have is to quicky react: the Alert feat will let you make the first attack with a +5 to Initiative, and it makes sure that you can’t be surprised and can’t be hit with Advantage if you can’t see an enemy. BEGONE EVELYNN YOU THOT!

You can also prepare another spell: Enhance Ability is great in a pinch if you need a hero moment. You can give yourself or an ally Advantage on a particular type of ability checks, and a bonus effect depending on what type of checks you help them with. Cait’s getting in a chase? Cat's Grace. You need to smash a wall? Bull's Strength. Got challenged to a drinking contest? Hell yeah Bear's Endurance!

LEVEL 14 - ARTIFICER 9

9th level Armorers get Armor Modifications: your armor now counts as separate items for the purposes of your Infuse Items feature. The armor (chest piece), boots, bracers, and weapon can each bear one of your infusions. In addition, the maximum number of items you can infuse at once increases by 2, but those extra items must be part of your power armor. I’m not going to touch this now since there are two infusions you get at next level which are far more useful, so feel free to stick whatever infusions you want on your armor for now.

You do get 3rd level Artificer spells now, and as an Armorer you get Hypnotic Pattern and Lightning Bolt always prepared. Not quite in character but Hextech can do a lot.

LEVEL 15 - ARTIFICER 10

10th level more Infusions! Let’s start with your Armor Modifications first:

The Helm of Awareness from the same UA as the Armorer gives you Advantage on initiative rolls. You also can’t be surprised but you already have the Alert feat, so...

Gauntlets of Ogre Power will sort your Strength out, setting it to 19 which is more than enough for most things.

As for your known infusions: a Cloak of Protection looks stylish and gives you +1 to your AC, and while it isn’t too in-flavor for Vi Winged Boots are just too good to pass up. (Feel free to pass ‘em to someone else.)

You may notice that we’re getting a lot of attunement items: good thing we have Magic Item Adept to give us an extra attunement slot and also to make magic item crafting cheaper. Along with your two attunement-based infusions on your armor I’d recommend grabbing the Cloak of Protection and Radiant Weapon. (Or attune to some of the Magic Items you’ve probably found by now and get a +2 weapon from your Enhanced Weapon infusion, since it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to find +2 Thunder Gauntlets.)

And guess what? More spells! Message is a cantrip that will let you send a message in team chat, and Haste is a nutty spell that increases your speed, AC, gives you advantage on DEX checks, and lets you take an additional action on your turn. Just don’t lose Concentration because the spell makes you exhausted when it ends, causing you to lose a round to recover.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 16 - ARTIFICER 11

11th level Artificers can make a Spell-Storing Item. When you finish a long rest you can touch a weapon, tool, or magic item and store a spell in it. It has to be a 1st or 2nd-level spell from the Artificer spell list that requires 1 action to cast, though you don’t need to prepare it.

While holding the object, a creature can take an action to produce the spell’s effect from it, using your spellcasting ability modifier. If the spell requires concentration, the creature must concentrate on it. The spell stays in the object until it’s been used a number of times equal to twice your Intelligence modifier or until you store a spell in a different object.

There are a lot of really great spells you can give your allies with this. In particular Mirror Image from the Armorer list can be given to just about anyone to increase their survivability since it doesn’t require Concentration. Again I have to repeat that playing Artificer is all about knowing what your team needs, so look over your spell list and see what’s most useful to your party.

LEVEL 17 - ARTIFICER 12

12th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement and it’s about time you max out that Intelligence modifier for basically all your Artificer abilities.

With the Intelligence increase you can prepare another spell: I’d recommend Elemental Weapon to give your punches a bit more punch!

By the way the Intelligence increase also lets you prepare more Wizard spells! Just saying!

LEVEL 18 - ARTIFICER 13

13th level Artificers can prepare 4th level spells. Armorers have the Fire Shield and Greater Invisibility spells always prepared, which are never not useful. Sunfire Cape is quite strong now! For your prepared spell Freedom of Movement is the most in-flavor 4th level Artificer spell for you to take, since Tenacity is really useful for a melee champion.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 14

14th level Artificers are Magical Item Savants that can attune to up to 5 items at once regardless of race, class, or level restriction, which is good because we’re getting our final bunch of Infusions at this level.

First of all I’d recommend replacing your Gauntlets of Ogre Power with a Belt of Hill Giant’s Strength since it’s objectively better in every way. And you know what’s fun and won’t infuriate your DM in any possible way? More AC! Get a Ring of Protection to punch your AC through the roof!

For your final infusion there are a few fun options:

If you want to be tankier an Amulet of Health is never not useful.

If you want to have a backup punch an Arcane Propulsion Arm will let you punch the chem-barons with your raw fist.

Boots of Speed are sweet for either you or your allies to chase enemies down.

Gem of Seeing is more of Cait’s thing but True Sight is never not useful.

Or you can just look through the rest of your Infusion list to find something fun.

And hey: more spells? Don’t mind if I do! You’re experienced enough to give some Guidance to your allies (though they’re probably good enough at skill checks not to need this anymore), and Piltover’s Finest probably has some Hextech to Dispel Magic.

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 15

Your final level is the 15th level of Armorer Artificer for Perfected Armor. When a creature you can see ends its turn within 30 feet of you, you can use your reaction to force the creature to succeed on a Strength saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save your Guardian armor pulls them up to 30 feet toward you in an unoccupied space, and if you pull the target to space within 5 feet of you, you can punch them it as part of this reaction!

You can use this reaction a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (so it should be 5 times) and regain all expended uses of it when you finish a long rest. Face first you’ll pull them into the proving ground!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Vigilante - You’ve got a +10 to initiative and Advantage on initiative checks. I think it’s very safe to say that you’ll be going first.

Violence - Your Thunder Gauntlets should have at least a +1 on them, likely a +2, and with the Magic Weapon spell from your race you can turn them into a +3. This means you’ll have at minimum a +12 to hit, maximum of a +14 to hit, and will do a total of a d8 + 8 (up to +10 if your weapon is a +3!) damage per hit! Not to mention Divine Smites for even more burst! Oh, and you can channel your Vow of Enmity for Advantage on whoever’s back you particularly want to break today.

Impervious - Have I ever mentioned that Artificer is really dumb when it comes to AC? With Enhanced Defenses, a Cloak of Protection, and a Ring of Protection you will have a grand total of 20 AC with just Chain Mail, and up to 22 with Plate! (23 if you took the Defense fighting style.) If you really want to piss off your DM you can also technically equip a shield to bump your AC up to TWENTY FOUR. (25 with the Defense fighting style! That means a Tarrasque has a 30% chance not to hit you!) And to top it off your Ring and Cloak give you +2 to all saving throws, meaning that even your lowest saving throw (DEX) is a +2 and your highest (CHA) is a +10. Oh and to top all this off you have Arcane Deflection to bump your AC by 2 or your saving throws by 4 in a pinch, and if all else fails you have the Shield spell to increase your AC by five.

CONS

Overachieving - You’re somewhat bogged down by Concentration spells but are far more bogged down by your Reactions. You only have one reaction per turn which you need for Arcane Deflection, Flash of Genius, the Guardian Armor’s pull, and of course your Attacks of Opportunity and reaction spells.

Vignette - The vast majority of your features only come back after a Long Rest. The only things you get from a Short Rest is your Channel Divinity and a single level 1 spell slot once per Long Rest with Arcane Recover. You’re perfectly capable of fighting without them but all your best tricks are limited by spell slots or charges, meaning that with the exception of making enemies piss their pants you will have to keep mostly to punching if you expect to have a long night on the prowl.

Viable - Your Charisma, Constitution, and Dexterity are all lower than I’d like but that’s the problem with a three-way multiclass. You can squeeze some more ASIs out of both Paladin and Artificer if you ditch the Wizard levels (Paladin 4 / Artificer 16) but unless your DM is willing to homebrew stat-increase items for DEX and CHA you’re going to have to keep one of them low. Low Charisma hurts your Paladin features, low Dexterity hurts for AC and saving throws, and low Constitution hurts for obvious reasons. If you’re lucky enough to get good stat rolls along with a 13 in Strength go ahead and take them but it’s very unlikely that you will only have to dump one stat. (IE Wisdom)

But you don’t need endurance when one punch is enough to knock them out? Hit ‘em and hit ‘em hard; they can’t resist if they’re unconscious. Get into the thick of things and break some bones! Just remember to call for backup when a fight gets too heated. The sheriff can’t lose her best woman.

(Artwork from uhdpixel.com)

#DnD 5e #dnd #dnd build #dnd artificer #League of Legends #League of Legends Vi

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