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curseofaphrodite · 2 years

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Two of Hearts

daemon targaryen x reader | deck of cards part 2/3,

series masterlist | summary: night time visitors often come with complications

Late into the night, you heard knocks on your door. There were persistent and rough, so you already knew it wasn't going to be your handmaiden. With curiosity getting the better of you, you pulled it open.

"Hello," Daemon tilted his head to one side. He didn't appear drunk, and he smelled fine, but something about him said he was intoxicated.

"What do you want?" you asked cautiously.

"I sensed you weren't sleeping and thought we could have a party of our own."

"Be serious."

"I am," he nodded towards your room. "I have much to talk about with the future queen. All politics, of course."

"I'm — Daemon, you can't be this stupid," you sighed. "I am not going to bed you. It's foolish you'd even think I would."

He blinked. "Who said anything about bedding?"

"I don't know what you think about me but I'm not going to be a whore. And if I am, it won't be for a prince who has more tantrums than a 12-year-old."

His puppy dog eyes immediately turned blank. Fear crept inside, because you knew you had finally annoyed him. You preferred him to look actually furious instead of whatever the hell he was doing now.

His right hand reached upwards quickly, grabbing your chin with an unfamiliar softness. While his touch was firmly gentle, his eyes said otherwise.

"Disrespecting me is disrespecting the court," he said sharply, forcing you to look at him. Your heart started hammering for more reasons than one. To add more bad luck, you heard footsteps in the distance.

"Someone's coming," you hissed, not wanting to be seen together in a somewhat compromising position.

"I bet it's Alicent... or maybe Viserys—"

Rumors, rumors, rumors. They had more power to destroy you than fire. You had learned that quickly even before coming to Westeros.

"Now's not your time for games," you said, gritting your teeth. Then you did the only thing you could. You grabbed him by his collar and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him as quickly as possible. He let go, but he seemed just as surprised as you.

"You can't be that scared of Viserys!" Daemon laughed, but there was a genuine question behind those words.

"I'm not scared!" You plopped down in your bed, looking out the window with a frown. "I just don't know what I'm doing here."

"Don't play clueless. You're here to get the Iron Throne, as foolish as it seems."

"Why?" your eyes turned to him, determined. "Why is it foolish for someone like me to get the throne?"

"You're not a Targaryen. You'll never be a Targaryen."

"Are you calling a war against my house?"

Daemon walked towards the table, then took the chess board which you had brought from your home. You had no one to play it with, so it remained useless. Until now.

Wordlessly, he arranged the wooden figures, then drew himself a chair so he could sit next to you. You frowned.

"Make a move," he asked, nodding towards the pieces. You hesitated before pushing a pawn forward.

"Your house is reputable," he murmured, lost in the game. "But it's not enough. When worst comes to worst, dragons are what people fear. Not the rulers."

"I'd still be a better ruler than you. And certainly Viserys."

Daemon used his horse, so you did the same. The game passed in silence for a while, like he was contemplating more than just the strategy.

"You would be a better queen." He stated finally, looking up. But right as he said that, he also took your king.

Son of a bitch.

-----

He returned the next night. And the next. And the next.

To be transparent, Daemon did have a plan. He would think of the sweetest of things to say to you (anything to fuck up your wedding), yet words failed him every time.

It wasn't because he chose not to say it. He simply couldn't. He'd open his mouth and he'll already know what you'd reply if he called you beautiful. He already knows how you'll laugh if he compares your smile to a winter's moon. He knows you won't fall for any of his tricks.

Simply said, he knows you know him. So he resigned to chess games and talk of books, all of which only made him more restless.

Little by little, Daemon Targaryen found himself losing the act he wrote for himself.

-----

A WEEK LATER.

-----

The door seemed to be mocking you.

No matter how many times you've considered knocking, you couldn't bring yourself to do it, nor could you walk away. It was all a blur of wondering if you were crossing a line you'd already crossed. You were contemplating everything wrong you ever did in your life, from birth to where you were standing.

Then, out of the blue, the door opened loudly, startling the life out of you.

"I could hear your existential crisis from inside," Daemon said, his voice monotone. Despite the late hour, he was fully clothed. His white shirt and messy hair stood out against the candlelight. He smelled of sand, making you wonder if he was out by the sea again.

"I—" you coughed. "You haven't come to my room for days."

He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize I was obliged to."

"Daemon," you sucked in your breath, wondering just how awkward this conversation was going. "You're the only fr-acquaintance I have in this palace."

"You can say friend."

"Fine then. Friend."

He sighed. "The rumors were getting more complicated. I couldn't tell every person I saw on my way back from your room that I was merely teaching you how to play chess. it sounds unbelievable even to me."

"Since when have rumors stopped you?" you challenged, glaring. "Do I remind you that they're going to spin stories regardless of the facts anyway?"

"Do you really want a chess partner so much that you're willing to lose every night?"

"I'll win one day," you said, glad to sound light-hearted again. "And like I said, I've grown to like your annoying ass. You're one of the evilest men I've encountered in my life, but you're just as entertaining."

"Well then, it'd be rude of me to not invite you to your jester's room." He said, stepping aside. "Which reminds me, I have a particular book you'd love. It's about a queen trapped in a high tower."

"Let me guess, a prince saves her?" you asked, walking inside. Your eyes didn't miss out on anything. His room was different, with a large silver bed and more windows than you can count. Everything appeared regal and expensive, but all of them were just as messy.

"A dragon does." Daemon left the door unlocked, as if it could give you extra reassurance. You internally rolled your eyes.

"Sounds very Targaryen."

"The book is supposedly a Targaryen artifact too."

"Supposedly?"

"I stole the book from the vault when I was 9 years old. It bore the family crest and looked important so I figured what's the harm."

You laughed. "Did you really?"

Maybe you imagined it, or maybe your laugh had something to do with how his eyes suddenly softened. You felt butterflies just by the thought.

"Don't believe me? Check the cupboard. The book's there."

You wandered across the room until you reached where he was pointing at. You pulled it open and saw a mess of decoratives inside; from goblets to jewel-studded rings.

"Don't you ever clean?" you asked, looking for the mysterious book anyway.

"I don't think the servants know this is my room. Who could blame them, I'm hardly even here."

"Yes, I forgot you like to spend your time in others' rooms," you teased, wondering whose room he had been in the last few nights. You were almost tempted to ask.

"I truly am sorry if you were led to think I was mad at you. Forget the rumors, I just didn't want to disturb your duties. You're undoubtedly busy." His voice grew more grave, if that was even possible.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"The wedding's in three days." His voice came from right behind you. His body was pressed up against yours, and his hand reached over your shoulder to get to the higher shelf.

"The book is up here." He said for clarification. But you didn't move, didn't reply, didn't even take the book from his hands as he lowered it. You simply stood there, registering his words and his warm breath right beside your neck.

"The wedding preparations are done so I'm not busy," you whispered. Why did it sound like you were apologizing?

Daemon put the book back and slowly circled your waist with his arms. It was purely affectionate, and that made you want to hug him and cry. He rested his head in the crook of your neck, taking his time to answer.

"It's a wonder how Viserys gets everything I want. The throne, and now you." He said, and you didn't know what was softer — his touch or his words.

You groaned. "Stop that! Stop acting as if I'm anything more than an unfortunate liability for your throne."

"That's the irony in it," he pressed a kiss against your neck and you melted into a puddle inside. You were dead and resurrected back to life when he dragged his lips across your skin. "We're both traitors. I'm a liar so you can't trust a word I say so if I ever truly love you, you won't believe it anyway."

"Because it'd be a lie."

"I will plead with you just once." He turned you around, cupping your jaw. He stared intently, bravely — as if he was about to do something he never did. "Just once I will beg. Don't marry him."

"Daemon—"

"Please." He went down on his knees, holding your hands instead. He wasn't even looking up at you, like that would cost him plenty. His voice was shaky and he knew this wasn't just an act. He would never humiliate himself for his tricks.

He was truly desperate.

"I can't back out of the wedding. Viserys would call a war on my house. My family—"

"I know you won't say yes but hear me out, humor me for a minute," He clasped your hands tighter. "We could run away, I don't want the fucking throne. I want you—"

"I have to go," you said firmly, fighting back the sudden urge to kneel beside him and never part. "I shouldn't have come."

You pulled back and he let you go, wide-eyed and surprised. He stood up and watched as you walked off. He followed halfway, then upon realizing you were indeed gone, he slammed the door shut.

"Fuck!" He yelled, kicking the nearby table.

It didn't help. His shoulders started to shake, he was breathless, and before he knew what was happening — he started to cry.

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next, final part will be out soon! itll end happy i swear 😭🤌

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taglist: @eexphoria @sebastian025 @cecilyjmorgenstern @lilitheal @imnotyourbcbe @loveandlewis-reads @mariamyousef702 @1-800-isabellapotter @skywalkerr27 @ohhh-boo-tiful @paula-lkr @purechaosss @andrea-np @makaramosss @snixx2088 @ephemeralninon @wulfriedxanthene

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x you #daemon targaryen x fem!reader #daemon targaryen fluff #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #astoria writes #imagines #angst

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cannibal-nightmares · 1 month

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it's moments like these the crash-landing feels perpetual--all-consuming like it's all there's ever had been--and, in a way, it is. surviving this is all a matter of masking and navigating and bargaining and compromise. episodes feel like losses. a subconscious questioning of "if i've made it through all those other days, why can't i do it now all of a sudden?"

block under the cut for vague and not vague paranoid babbling

that noise is goign to kill me for saying any of this but who cares, im a dead man walking whether I say it out loud or not. it always feels like im ying to myself pressing against it. but isnt it right? why is it so fucking loud? there has to be a reason its so adamant. "its the illness." "its real" "it sthe illness" it blurs together. i know thats the whole issue. i cant afford to listen to either side. either side will hurt me, either side will punish me.

my friend asked why i dont skip work when i dont feel well without understanding that i would then never go to work. and dont get it twisted: im one of the top employees in performance. a schizo. a psychotic, crazy, terrified schizo. id skip work today--thats how on fire my nerves are--but i cant afford to. i have to keep my head down and hope they dont pry me open, today especially. i am tired of holding back my angred fear of people. ive started being more upfront w questions, some in the forms of jokes, like my co-worker who gave me a cookie and i said "if this is laced, im going to kick your ass," like when my colleague who mentioned singing in the company cars and i said i dont [because im scared of cameras.] or whatever.

im struggling. I'll admit. it's snowballing. It's a nose-dive death spiral. that clacking overspeed sound. redlining. and i have so much to do. so much to do at what cost? immovable things. i'm moving again? What the fuck. Who made that decision? I guess it was me. I don't remember. alexa, play "the actor" by everything everything. i feel fucking crazy that all of this gets magnified and exacerbated by ptsd/the weather. how stupid is that. how cruel is that? i want to cancel my plans. i cant. i should. i cant. i can't. it won't let me. i also know a more-sane me would be heartbroken. idk whats going to happen between now and late june. I see the dial trembling at its peak. im dead if i do, im dead if I dont. "to join the new river?" that's all it is.

and i have to repeat myself here: this shit isn't new. im just trying to be vulnerable. whatever that means. a glimpse inward. here it is while it's hot. perpetuity. dont you dare pity me. ive got more swords than you could ever begin to imagine, ive just only got two hands. i dont mind being stability for people--i like that i am--but this is whats behind that. with great reason comes unfathomable absurdity. contrast.

#cannibal-nightmares is psychotic #actually schizophrenic #actually schizospec #actually psychotic #cannibal-nightmares rambles

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classywonderlandpatrol · 10 days

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I am the one who just sent you an anon about self conceptualisation.

I really empathize with your discomfort about being referred to as a man. I was trans myself for 10 years, and I know what severe dysphoria feels like; the word woman used to make me feel sick, especially in my native language. I have autism just like you as well; the word gave me a feeling as if slime was touching me. To me it held the full cultural weight of inferiority, of everything I knew I wasn't. Does "man" feel that way to you? Feeling like a cloying mismatch pressing down?

I think I also know how you feel with the desire to look more androgynous. In the end, what dissolved my dysphoria was the realization and acceptance that I could be exactly how I wanted and nothing about me was mismatched to that. Nothing about you is mismatched to who you want to be; not your sex either. There is nothing about me that makes me not a woman, and it is uncomfortable to settle onto that conclusion because it feels like your wings are cut off but it's the truth. Being a man does not contradict anything about you. You don't have to give up anything about yourself to be one. You don't have to compromise and let go of the things you love in order to be a man. As i did not have to let go of anything that I had while I was trans, in order to settle back into the fact I am a woman. There's fear initially, because I thought I would lose something, but I didn't. You won't either.

If anime helps you (i know a lot of autistic trans people love anime lmao) imagine how it treats the girl-looking characters that are revealed to be males. They don't suddenly gain beard shadows or change voice actors. Because being taken for female does nothing to change them, neither does the truth. It's the same irl. If you go from trying to claim the word woman to claiming the word man, nothing will change about you between those two breaths. You will still be you but you will have faced the truth. For me, it was freeing; I care much less now than I did before. About how people read me or how I present. It doesn't matter; their opinions or pronouns for me don't challenge what I am. They can't.

Your claiming the word woman does outright hurt our cause, but it hurts you (even if it's comparatively minute) as well. It reinforces this idea that there's a mismatch between who you are and what you are. That you need to be a woman to be who you are. You don't. It will likely even feel more freeing, like you can do *more*, if you realize that you're immutable and no one can take it from you. Being misgendered as a trans person, is someone taking the mirage you've built about yourself down. Being misgendered once you've accepted the truth feels like air on you. The misgendering person takes nothing. They *can* take nothing. This rambles, but we have a lot in common (autism, dysphoria) and I know this facing the truth helped me more than any surgery or hormones ever did. If you gave up the word woman, which isn't yours in the end, you wouldn't have to give up anything else you have. You can look about yourself and see all those things, your body and your life; those remain. You don't have to be a woman to have those things. It's just you.

I'm going to try to answer this from start to finish so please bear with me. I'm also assuming this is in good faith and I'm reading it as such. For me dysphoria feels like when people are addressing me as he/him it feels like lying. That gross, bottomless pit feeling inside your chest/stomach. I never felt culturally inferior for being referred to as a man It just felt wrong. I also never pictured myself as what a man looks like (or at least the stereotype of it). When I was younger I always pictured myself as a woman in the future. When I mentioned I would prefer to be androgynous that was a I would settle for that if absolutely necessary, like if my choices were androgynous or masculine I would rather be androgynous. I've tried many things to make my dysphoria go away and I'm glad others find solutions where I didn't. The only thing that I have found that helps my dysphoria is transitioning and I'm still looking for more solutions. Dysphoria is suffocating (metaphorically speaking of course). I also don't feel like I'm settling if I were to detransition. I just know I would hate it. I tried before and I hated myself. Whenever I started to transition i felt so Happy with myself and the happiness stayed like it never has before. I truly loved myself and I don't want to take that away from myself again, and I wanted to mention this. I do feel really happy when people refer to me as she/her and such, and I'm very understanding when I get misgendered even though it hurts. I know it's not people's fault and they aren't doing it on purpose. I started to transition for me, and I'm going to continue to do so for me and for my own happiness. (If you feel like I missed anything please let me know. Also I apologize if my last sentence sounds angry or anything I'm not trying to come across like that but explaining my experience and my thoughts can often times come across with a wild range of emotion)

#radblr #terfblr #radical feminists do interact #radical feminist safe #terf #radical feminism #feminism #feminist #transgender #lgbtqia

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drkcnry67 · 1 year

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I want you to be my queen

Title: I want you to be my queen

Pairing: John x reader

Spn Kink: age difference

Tags: maybe mentions of virginity loss, mentions of sexual activities, maybe mentions of cock in pussy, cum in pussy etc... (not all this may be in story just covering the bases)

Rating: 18+ (just in case)

Created for @spnkinkevents

Summery: not telling....

Yn: I cant remember how many times I wanted to be the girl who could save the day...

Jo: what do you mean?

Yn: what if he doesn't like me? I can't take another rejection...

Jo: from what the messenger told me the king has no heir and would like someone to continue his line in the event that his health gets worse. He is willing to give you full ruler status if that happens. But from what I hear he is handsome and brave and kind and doesn't have any fears apart from being a bit older than any of the others... this king is in his early late 30s I think and while this isn't exactly ideal he is willing to compromise with you...

You watched out the window humming your response to her as the carriage slowed its roll... this prompted a hand on your shoulder.

Jo: so what do you say, you ready?

Yn: I'm scared jo, I'm scared of another rejection...

Jo: oi not this again look girl, we will find you a nice decent man to be your husband if it is the last thing I do...

Yn: okay fine let's do...

Then your eyes landed on the line up of people along the path to greet you...

Yn: holy cow is this all for us?

Jo placed her hand on your own...

Jo: not for us, for you... it's for you...

Yn: do not let me fall on my face I can't take embarrassment on top of the possibility of rejection...

Jo: you won't fall trust me... now switch sides let me get out first...

You girls do everything you have done many times before feeling the carriage stop completely.

Footsteps outside and a trumpet sounded before the carriage door opened jo got out and you slid over...

Yn: okay I can do it, I can do this...

You scooted over and took the hand of the footman... stepping out of the carriage you breathed a deep breath of fresh air before your eyes met a set of brown eyes...

You and jo walked up the aisle passing all the people bowing and then it was your turn to bow.

John: welcome your grace I trust your journey was pleasant.

Yn: was a bit rocky my lord. I'm yn princess of summerset...

John: im John King of daggerfall. Welcome princess shall we walk and talk.

Yn: we shall but a moment if you please...

You turn to jo and give her specific instructions on what to do with the luggage. And you go up and walk along side John.

John: I hope that over your stay you will find everything to your liking. I also hope you will join me for a few meetings later with my council and then to the feast tonight.

Yn: I would be honored my lord

John: just John please

You smile at him your eyes meeting his as people dispurse from behind you both to give you both some privacy.

John and you kept chatting, walking till your eyes landed on the rose garden... your eyes with wide with wonder... you watched as John went over picked a red rose and brought it to you.

John: I know we haven't known eachother long and it's silly of me to think this way already but I am awestruck by you. I will bring you 3 roses every day, till the day when you make your decision on whether or not to accept my proposal which is very simply this: we would rule as equals, my palace is yours, my servants are yours, my council is your council and all I have will be yours too... but most importantly you get all of me, we are equal partners in this crazy thing we call life. So do you agree to take this time to consider your decision?

You take the rose and he steps closer to you.

Yn: I agree to consider this carefully but also to make clear to you my thoughts on this matter John. I have feelings for you as well just haven't decided if they are positive or negative yet.

John: well I look forward to the day when you make your choice... and know that whatever you decide should you need a place to live my kingdom is open to you and your lady in waiting...

Yn: thank you John. Speaking of jo, I should go find her, so we can get ready for tonight... walk me to my room?

John nods as he holds his arm out for you to take, which you do.. the walk to your room filled with more conversation but a lingering longing stood between you both.

John suddenly is stopped with you in your tracks as a bunch of men approached you both...

Xavier: my lord, your grace it's time for the council meeting my lord...

You look at John who glances at you.

John: it's all good Xavier call it like it is in front of yn! She will be joining us for the meetings cause I promised she could see the way i run the kingdom to help her choose whether or not she wants to stay here, to be with me...

Yn: its a pleasure to meet you Xavier, I look forward to watching John and you work.

Xavier bows in respect.

Xavier: of course my lady. Shall we adjourn to the council room or where would we hold the meeting today...

John: maybe the throne room today, have the guards set up the tables, and some chairs seat yn next to me please. And bring out some wine too... red and sweet like yn! And some sweets too.

You smile as John pulls you closer to him, he waved the advisors towards the throne room.

John: if i ask your permission to kiss you, what would your answer be?

Yn: my answer would be, kiss me at the end of the night after the feast and see how it goes.

You smile as you walk toward the door where all the noise was coming from and are instantly hit with the sight of a lifetime.

Yn: this is gorgeous... obviously you like blue my lord..

John comes closer to you before he reply to your question.

John: yes its actually a family color... main color for our family crest...

to have Him so close to you made you feel different, made you feel like something was happening deep in your being.

Yn(internally): oh my God, his advances, am I imagining things or is this... like instant attraction? Oh my God is he in love with me after only a few hours... I guess only time will tell...

Meanwhile, John was also struggling with his internal thoughts.

John(internally): oh damn, she is smart beautiful, sexy, oh my God she is going to make me a very gorgeous queen and me a very lucky man! We will see what happens after the feast...

you and John sat side by side as he attended to the meeting, john explaining things to you as the meeting went along. but one topic prked your interst...

victor: so the plans to expand into mid town and build a school that is affordable for evryone and will also give those with no where to live a place to live. but we are having problems with the building plans...

victor snapped his fingers and the plans were brought up on the table placed before you and John. you move closer to john to tke a better look at the blueprints...

yn (in a small whisper): this is all wrong... the design is all wrong...

this caught johns and victors ears as they both now were staring at you...

john: whats wrong

Yn: can I have the pencil for a second and get in between you 2 for a moment...

Shuffling around and being handed a pencil you were now ready to explain...

Yn: well the plan is great you need to have more space, always have extra space. The lot you want to have this on, does it have extra yard?

John: why of course it does...

Yn: instead of using that yard entirely for a maze or a garden of some kind you could section it off, yes you have lots of space to work with so there's the main building, and adding an extra floor or 3 on that one isn't bad either just to max space but at least 3 other buildings could be built on the lot and still have lots of outdoor space.

Victor and John look at you for a moment before a question is raised by one of the members.

Council 1: but your grace, the grounds the maze it needs to be huge... how does adding more buildings...

You roll your eyes and proceed to explain it again.

Yn: if we max on building space, there will be more room for schooling, jobs, housing for those who need it...

Victor: Aaron did you get all those notes jotted down?

Aaron: yes I did, thank you your grace for your input, I look forward to hopefully showing you these plans again when I revise them.

John: yn that was amazing how did you know how to do that?

You smile lightly accepting john's invitation to sit on his lap...

Yn: my father taught me this as part of my upbringing... learning how to run a kingdom one needs to know how to do everything...

John: well your father sounds like a smart man, I look forward to meeting him one day...

Your eyes met his, as the council members were ushered out by Victor, seeing as neither of you paying much attention to much else in that moment...

John: what are you thinking?

Yn: that I want you, all of you, right now, before the ball, consider it my gift to you as my acceptance of your courtship/proposal!

John's eyes looked at you ravenously with fire in his eyes...

John: are you sure?

yn: yes i am my king!

johns hand gripped your own as he led you to his chambers... you were sure of your feelings your acceptance you were sure that this was where you belonged...

johns guards opened the door and shut it behind you guys as johns gaze pinned you where you stood... you felt his hands come round your shoulders from behind... his breath close enough to be felt on the back of your neck.

his hands started to undo your corset... once that was done his hands slid your corset off your body.. then it was your undoing... it was your end... or at least thats how it felt...

john: i have less to remove so you dont worry bout that i will be undressed quicker, for now i want to enjoy admiring every inch of your beautiful body...

yn: it is yours to admire my king!

that made john move closer to the bed, his body now flush with your own. the kisses he was leaving along your shoulders your neck your arms, the feeling of his hands touching every inch of your exposed skin sent tiny sparks and waves of pleasure through your entire body.

yn: john...

you cried out in moans of pleasure as you felt johns hands hike up the bottom of your slip... his fingers running over your slit, before dipping into your sweet pussy.

yn: john!!! rip this slip off of me, i cant stand it anymore... i love you john please i need you! all of you inside me...

john: you are so beautiful! prepare yourself here i come...

john made quick work in getting rid of his clothing... he then flipped you onto your back onto the bed. this made you moan in delight as he allowed you a few seconds to admire himself.

yn: how did i get so lucky?

john: right place right time... im coming in now... please let me know if you experience any discomfort.

yn: do it, let me feel you inside me...

you feel a slight pain before you feel him slide into your pussy, the feeling of john allowing you to adjust to his size made you moan a bit once he started slowly moving, his thrusts becoming more eratic as the love making went on.

after about an hour of passion in the sheets, pillows and blankets all over the floor... you and john were reaching your climaxes...

yn: john im gonna, ugh!!!!

john: me too baby girl!

the climaxes stole your breaths away... you were now laying with your head on johns bicep your hand resting on his chest...

yn: wow!

john: how do you feel my princess!

yn: i feel amazing! that was amazing!

John pulls your chin up to face him..

John: I hope your pregnant...

You giggle as the thought of the feast crosses your mind...

Yn: John, that is not how things are done...

John: neither is this and yet here we are...

Yn: we should get ready for the feast...

John: ya your right... cover up for a moment...

You do so as John summons his servant to fetch a dress for you from your lady in waiting and bring it back here...

You smile as John continues to hold you close for a while more..

Yn: can I level with you for a brief second

John: of course

Yn: I was ready to give up on love my lord, I'd met so many men who just wanted more money and power and a wench basically... they didn't care who I was as a person... but I can tell your different so I YN of summerset hereby accept thy proposal of earlier this day my lord..

John proceeds to kiss you again till a knock sounds from the door, John hands you a robe as he dons his other one both of you sitting on the chaise as the door is opened to jo and the servant...

Both are shocked to see your current state of things...

Yn: John may I formally introduce my lady in waiting Jo, jo let me be the first to introduce this fine man as John my fiance!

jo curtsies as john bows and smiles holding one hand firm to your shoulder...

yn: alright well i think we should get ready my love...

john: alright there is a secluded area over yonder side of the room, for you ladies and yourself to prepare for tonights festivities... i'll see you ladies in a few minutes...

john stood at attention as you stood flush with his body placing your hands on his waist to kiss his gentle lips. before pulling back and going off with your ladies to the other side of the room, behind the covered area.

jo: girl, you did it you found your happily ever after..

yn: ya i know, its kinda exciting actually. speaking of exciting jo can you send a messenger with a note saying what has corresponded in regards to my choosing a husband... and where we are incase they wish to come out and see for themselves... tell them i will write again when its a wedding invite.

jo: i will do that later tonight, when i am getting ready for the feast myself... now lets get you into this dress and shoes before there is a lack of well everything in here... or we are all late for the feast.

You let jo and the other lady help you dress and get ready choosing to just leave your hair down, and choosing to wear your tiara and a pony tail(yes easy and simple so your ladies could go get ready...)

You come out from the cover wearing a gold Satin spaghetti strap floor-length well fitted dress and short heels... you watch for John's reaction...

John let's out a light whistle as he takes in your form...

Yn: is it too much?

John: no it's perfect... you look beautiful...

Yn: thank you... now I need to just do my pony tail and put on my tiara and I'm all good to go...

John: I just need to pick out a jacket would you like to help me...

You smile at John as your eyes follow his form to the set of 4 different jackets on the bed... you go to the jackets and look at them running your fingers over their intricate detail...

Yn: I had a thought do you have one to match my dress?

You ask as you now move one of the jackets so you can sit on the bed...

John: yes I think so just one second...

John goes over to the wardrobe and searches for a moment before an excited sound escapes John's lips.

You watch as he puts on a blue jacket with gold inlay... you go up and smooth out the jacket as your fingers run over every inch of it...

Yn: my king looks very handsome!

john: and my future queen looks very beautiful! now are you ready to go out before all these people and announce our engagement.

yn: its long overdue for me to announce my engagement to someone. so yes i am ready to announce this!

you and john walk out of the room, down the hall and stand ready to enter the great hall where the feast would be... the page announced you guys as john led you through the crowd to sit beside him at the head table, jo entered shortly after and sat beside you...

jo: girl you look amazing!

yn: thank you

john simply held your hand as you and he both were engaged in seperate conversations... then victor approached john and you from behind and said it is time to get everyone seated and to get the evening started...

so john let go of your hand after you both stood up and a wave of calm brushed over you as john clinked the glass slightly earning the attention of everyone in the room.

john: if everyone can please be seated i have a few things to say before we eat...

everyone moved to find their seats, to sit down and settle in before john continued he held his glass in one hand and wrapped his freee arm around your waist...

john: welcome here everyone to this special night. my main purpose for throwing this feast was to welcome princess YN of summerset, it still is but now it also serves as a celebratory feast... now i believe i have one more act to pull off before i have the servers come in...

you watch as he takes both of your glasses and places them on the table. you smile lightly as his arm is still around your waist...

john: yn, we have barely been aquainted for a day but you already agreed to my proposal but now to do things properly. so as witnesses to this moment i employ you all to watch as this lovely lady before me makes her choice once more...

john grabs the black box from victor and places it on the table in front of you...

yn: john whats this?

john: since you have already agreed to my proposal in less formal standards now we have but one part of the formality to go through and that is this, inside this box is your future, a gift from me to you, this box has not been opened, i had it comissioned when i recieved word of your impending arrival from your emissary...

john opens the box for you to see a silver tiara with sapphires inlaid, a necklace to match and a ring of similar pattern, except the sapphire in the center of the ring was huge...

john picks up the ring and holds it out to you...

john: yn i want you to be my queen, what is your answer?

yn: john i would be honored to be your queen, and to the people i say this, i promise to rule with justice and mercy and to keep the peace where and when i can, my first official act is to oversee the plans for a new school/housing building being built in midtown.

you feel john slide the ring on your finger, then you watch as he grabs the tiara from the box, you remove the one you are currently wearing as he then places the tiara on your head...

john then grabs your hand with his own and holds both your hands up in the air.

john: my people you have heard her speak, you have seen her acceptance, i present to you, YN your future queen!

The crowd cheers as the congratulations come in shouts... thats when victor gets up and speaks...

victor: servers are now coming out with the food... enjoy the feast...

celebrations continued well into the night, you and john were both finally happy... but what happened next tune in next time for the next chapter of our story!

~to be continued~

#spnkinkbingo #supernatural #John Winchester x reader

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daeriann · 2 years

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"I won't let fear compromise who I am."

first time trying out oil pastels!

#mass effect #commander shepard #jane shepard #femshep #default shepard #starting me2 with lou yesterday n remembering my own first time experiencing it all #made me miss my original me2 shep so here. i lov her #dasha draws

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aceghosts · 1 month

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Screenshots of Rooney Shepard (They/Them) in Cyberpunk 2077 (21/X)

*Le Castle Vania Intensifies*

MOD LIST

Taglist (Like this post to opt in/out for edits): @bbrocklesnar,@marivenah, @sergeiravenov, @alexxmason, @voidika,

@strangefable, @imogenkol, @hookhearted, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @confidentandgood,

@onehornedbeast, @direwombat, @thedeadthree, @theelderhazelnut, @cloudofbutterflies92,

@katsigian, @clicheantagonist, @cassietrn, @captastra, @inafieldofdaisies

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violadesdragons · 1 year

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We'll fight and win without it. I won't let fear compromise who I am.

#mass effect #mele mods #mass effect mods #female shepard #femshep #mass effect modding #digital art #screenshotturneddigitalart #mass effect 2

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fullstcp · 3 months

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"Three. Two. One." by Lennon Stella Sentence Starters

MUCH TOO MUCH

"Do you really want this? Be honest."

"Do you just wanna call it? Be honest."

"Maybe we're just getting in the way."

"What if it's just a little too late?"

"What if I'm just a little too much for ya?"

"Tell me I should stay, tell me that I'm wrong."

"Maybe if we wait, then all this will be gone."

"Haven't we got a little too much to lose?"

"Searching for a reason too often."

"Will I still be the one that got away?"

KISSING OTHER PEOPLE

"You know the club shuts down when the lights come on."

"You know the game is done when somebody wins."

"Don't have to ask yourself, 'when did it end?'."

"How do you really know that you're not holding on anymore?"

"That's how I know that your love is gone."

"That's how I know I'm really moving."

"I don't feel guilty kissing other people."

"I'm losing myself in a new someone."

"You can't begin again until it ends."

GAMES

"When I don't wanna talk, I swear that's all you wanna do."

"It's not love, it's a power struggle."

"You like games way more than you like me."

"You like games and I don't wanna play no longer."

"Game over."

FEAR OF BEING ALONE

"I can't take another lifeless, empty kiss."

"When I hold you I get the feeling I don't know you."

"I get the feeling it's not love that keeps us holding on."

"I'm scared to find out what the truth is."

PRETTY BOY

"Tell me something that I've never heard."

"You're melting my heart."

"You won't show me your cards."

"Do you think I can't handle what's going on inside?"

GOLF ON TV

"That's not something I'm used to."

"I keep getting overwhelmed when I talk about us loud."

"I want you and only you."

"Some people think it's supposed to hurt."

"You've just been so consistent."

"I'm done with romanticizing dysfunction."

"You treat me so well, it's weird."

"But I love how much I like it."

"If the old me met the new me, she'd/he'd/they'd probably try to stop me."

OLDER THAN I AM

"My heart's seen things I wish it didn't."

"Somewhere, I lost some of my innocence and I miss it."

"My life's been survival of the fittest."

"Sometimes, I wish I could do something stupid."

"Why am I always the one making decisions?"

"I do all my own fighting."

"I'm who I'ma confide in."

BEND OVER BACKWARDS

"You can't know me like I know myself."

"I can compromise."

"I'm willing to try."

"I'll put in the work, but I won't bend over backwards."

"I can be polite. Not say what's on my mind."

"There's a heavy cost to letting someone else call the shots."

"You never give more than you take."

JEALOUS

"I'm not a game that you are losing."

"If I can live without you, sue me."

"Somebody told me that you think I'm tryna make you jealous."

"I do better things with my time than tryna make you jealous."

"Why can't we move on with our lives?"

SINCE I WAS A KID

"We could call it tragic."

"We could drag the past out just to keep on grieving."

"We could call it tragic or we could call it even."

"I'm a problem solver cause I always used to be a problem."

"I'm still the way I was, I haven't changed a bit."

"Since I was a kid, I've been like this."

"I think we're healing. Even though we didn't mean to."

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I would never blame you."

"I just wanna thank you."

"We could call it tragic for a million different reasons."

WEAKNESS (HUEY LEWIS)

"Woke up in a decent mood."

"Don't know if it's even true."

"There's nothing I can do."

"When your eyes are leaking, that's my weakness."

"When your smile's in pieces, that's when I feel it all."

"Let's invite some people 'round."

"That's your remedy."

"I don't argue anymore."

"Leave your notions at the door."

"I know I shouldn't be this calm."

"We're too young to be this nervous."

"I don't know whether to hide or apologize."

"What about our family?"

"What happened to us?"

SAVE US

"It feels like there's nothing really left to say now."

"Everything is on the go now."

"There's a whole lotta things that we said would never get in the way of us."

"I love you, always, forever."

"Everywhere, I will be with you."

"Everything, I will do for you.

GOODNIGHT

"All alone, that's how I end up again."

"Whenever I think I find love again, there it goes."

"Darling, I've been waiting so long just to hear you say you're coming home."

"When you're not here, this bed gets so cold."

"Let me fall asleep before you go."

"Please don't say goodbye, just say goodnight."

"What's the use in crying these tears again?"

"Cause we know goodbye's the end."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric starters #lyric prompts #roleplay prompts #roleplay starters #sentence starters #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme)#when there was me and queue (queue)

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1eona · 1 year

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i won't let fear compromise who i am.

[rb]

#commander shepard #femshep #mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #jane shepard #i really like this piece yall

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bylightofdawn · 3 months

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So I'm editing chapter 31 tonight, I'm kinda trying to pre-edit them before my grammarly paid subscription runs out mid April. And I gotta say this scene with Plo Koon is filling my heart with joy.

I just want to hug and squish him. So I'm gonna post a snippet, because why not?

This takes place right after the latest posted chapter where they find out Myles has been kidnapped by Death Watch.

Tyvokka tugged the younger Jedi by the arm a little more distance away so that they could have some privacy. Jaster seemed too involved with what was going on to pay them too much mind.

«He is right. You are too emotionally invested in this situation and making a rash decision. It is unlike you.»

Plo Koon's brow ridges creased even further in a frown.

"They kidnapped someone, Master. Even if Jaster and I had no emotional connection, I would feel obligated to help. Our duty is to protect and assist in times of crisis." The younger Jedi countered.

«He is not a member of the Republic; that is where our duty lies. » Tyokka pointed out with merciless logic. «I understand why you feel compelled to help, my young Padawan, but you must be mindful of your feelings and how they could cloud your judgment.»

The Kel Dor let out a frustrated sigh, which was only further magnified by the antiox mask. "Myles is a good man and doesn't deserve to be tortured or worse at the hands of Death Watch." He stated firmly in his resolve.

"Master, even if he is not a member of the Republic, he is still in danger and has been kidnapped. I will assist them because it is the right thing to do. You taught me to always do the right thing. If you think that means I am compromised because of my relationship with Jaster, then I fear you have lost sight of what our mission is supposed to be. Treaty lines shouldn't dictate who we help."

Tyvokka was surprised and taken aback by the passionate way his former student spoke to him. Worse, he felt shamed because Plo was right, and he instantly regretted his own shortsightedness.

His concern that Plo might be over-invested had clouded his own judgment, but Tyvokka was willing to admit when he was wrong, and he reached out and caught his former student's shoulders in his great hair paws.

«You are right, and I am ashamed to admit I overreacted. It's not every day that the Padawan teaches the Master, but I am proud of the Jedi you have become and, more importantly, the man you have become for being willing to stand by your principles so firmly.»

The mottled color marking Plo Koon's skin darkened to a deeper color in the Kel Dor version of a blush. "Master, you flatter me too much."

«Nonsense, I flatter you the proper amount. Now, go inform your Mandalorian he will have two more people to assist in this crisis while I call the Temple and apprise them of the situation.»

"Master Yoda won't like it."

«I've known Master Yoda for centuries and am less impressed with his rank than you are. I will deal with him.» The Wookie shoved Plo in the direction of Jaster less than gently and wandered back toward the office so that he could make his call in peace.

Jaster looked over at Plo with a strained expression. He hadn't heard their conversation but had read enough of their body language to know they had been arguing.

"I'm assuming Tyvokka tried to talk you out of volunteering for this nerf rodeo?"

"He did, but I pointed out a Jedi's duty is to protect and help in times of crisis."

Somehow, Jaster looked even more pained over that reveal. "Plo… I'm not sure I want you involved in this. The blowback could be bad. I am not going to let Tor Vizsla get away with this. This could reflect poorly on the Jedi Order, and I don't want your position as a Jedi to be endangered in any way."

"We don't do the right thing because it is easy. Sometimes, it is hard and requires sacrifice, but I will stay true to my path just as you would. Even if we were not involved, I would help out because it is the right thing to do and because I will stand by while an innocent man is harmed just because it might be inconvenient. I have faith that the other members of the Jedi Order will see that."

Something complicated and inscrutable flashed across Jaster's face before he leaned up to press their foreheads together in a brief kov'nyn . "I love you so much. And thank you for being the person that you are."

#el edits #seeds for the future fic #fanfic snippet #jaster mereel #plo koon #tyvokka #star wars fanfiction

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vellhighbandi · 1 year

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Dreams...

You know for the longest time I thought the dream I had for my life was something wierd. Everyone I knew had these magnanimous opulent visions of a future they'd like to have, a family, a big mansion, world tour, fame... And I... For the longest time I dreamt of having a future where I wouldn't be judged by my family, for not loving choosing medical, for not being the girl who got their names in the papers. I always had the fear of what if I am not good enough, what if I fail, what if--- So I kept my dreams simple. A small house in the country, not very exotic, next to the pond in my own village. Some dogs, two horses and a baby elephant, and me. I'd have been happy. Teaching the kids in the village. Or maybe the adults too. Helping them plan their farms better. Have a planned planting sequence and helping clean the river that flowed right beside the village from that murky muddy brown with wierd bubbles floating on it to sort of clean clear stream... The bridge across the river finally getting completed and the roads being used being traffic and some random travellers stopping by to just take in the local peaks and sights. I hadn't even been brave brave enough to think of a partner in those dreams. I was pretty sure no one would want a disappointment like me...

Then I grew up. Not by much. I still have a whole lifetime before me (touchwood). Now my dream started ripping at the seams... Approval from family... That was never gonna be true. Not even when they got their dream of having their name and their photos splashed across the front page. They weren't happy. Wanted more. The thing about humans is that they aren't very different from animals, if you won't reward good behaviour and just punish bad behaviour... They'll eventually stop trying. No carrots only sticks can take you only so far... And having those animals in my farm... They need permit. And having a Husky or German shepherd in the climate is torture for those animals. And the villagers that seemed so welcoming to a 6 year old weren't that good from the eyes of a 13 year old child that had given up on ever being loved at all...

Couldn't remain without a dream for long now could I? So compromise it is. Do what the fam says. Get a job. Move out. Make money. Financial independence is the priority now... But then. I feel in love with writing. What a tragedy. Right? Straight A's student. IIT was just within grasp and what do you choose. Literature. Not even a proper Arts subject to go ahead and become IAS. But literature. What are you gonna do live in poverty all your life like Munshi Premchand and let your descendants have your royalties... Oh wait. You need a partner for descendants and proper talent for the royalties to even exist... So leeching on your family till you die. Better we get you married.

Hmm. The picture clears a bit. The mystery that came into my life when I should have been awaiting my Hogwarts letter was finally finding it's pieces. It wasn't a suicide without reason then. They just never took the obvious into account.

Sweet 16. The age where girls find guys to crush on. First relationships blossom... Here I was losing friends like falling dominoes. Losing hope with the dandelion blows away in the wind. This was supposed to be about dreams so let's come back to that... Sweet 16. Had to think of a dream achievable that maybe didn't sound so miserable. A job is a necessity. Animals we could do without. A house edging the wilderness cause Nature is the least I can hope to have. Pretty simple. A house in the woods. Some birds to feed every morning and night. A room in the house to decorate how I wish to be the one who I want to be, an author, a poet, an otaku for all that cares. Just as long as I remember to leave, close the door behind, I could live my dream... or atleast some part of it. Maybe not weekly treks and hikes, but maybe could find a way to sneak a yearly getaway to some cozy little cabin in the woods. That was all this little girl could dream after rationalising every wild fantasy that came to her...

#sharma shitposting?#sharma shayar ho gyi #pagalne do merkooo #me beong dramatic for shits and giggles #okay bye padhne ja rhi #ignore me guys

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annepsilvaauthor · 1 year

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Fighter Weapons — Chapter 6

Pairing(s): Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x OC (Claire Mitchell) / Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

Summary: An untold story. A series that shows what happened during the Top Gun of our beloved pilots of Top Gun: Maverick.

Warnings: Subtle sexual innuendos, brief language, alcohol consumption, angst, smut, fluffy.

Word Count: 3.990

The darlings who don't want to miss any updates ↪️ @missathlete3131 @togetherisawonderfulplacetobe @switch3rr @na0my @aprilwithapricots @goldenloverschild @blue682628 @rightwhereiwantyou @jackiequick

Prologue l Chapter 1 l Chapter 2 l Chapter 3 l Chapter 4 l Chapter 5

ғɪɢᴛʜᴇʀᴛᴏᴡɴ, ᴜsᴀ

One more day of school and Hangman was swinging one leg frantically as he played with the damn toothpick with his tongue. They were in an anteroom, where there was a very clear projector reproducing the pilots' paths in previous training. Claire and Blade analyzed the maneuvers.

"What's the matter with you?" Claire asked Hangman when it was finally his turn.

He just shrugged and let out a smug smile.

"What would you say, very fast... very agile..."

"And very aggressive." she pointed with some disapproval.

"It's combat. Every second counts." he countered without any fear.

The room was dark, everyone lined up together in armchairs like in a movie theater. Hangman sat in the center next to Coyote and the other pilots around him, as if he were the sun and the rest were just satellites and planets orbiting him. He had sat there on purpose.

From there you could see Rooster absorbed with a notebook, with a slight smile on his face towards the instructors. Phoenix had sat next to Hangman for lack of choice, as she was a few seconds late that day and lost her spot, which certainly wouldn't be next to him.

"The most coveted tricks in the world won't help you if you end up alone. Your wingman has to be able to follow you. Trust in you. You must know that he can depend on you. It's more than just flying around to make the news."

Even in the dim light of the projection, with just a few blue dots moving on a black background, Hangman could see a certain hardness in her gaze, disapproving of his way of flying.

"Well, what you need... what you have to keep looking for... what you want is a wingman who can keep up with you. Who can be there with you move for move. Then you have something."

"As we saw in the video, you almost hit your wingman." Blade intervened in the discussion. "Not the smartest move."

"But it was the least obvious."

"He will never admit he made a mistake." Rooster commented without looking at him.

"My wingman wasn't fast enough to keep up with me. We had seconds to dodge your attack, sir. I had to do it." Hangman ignored Rooster and spoke directly to Blade.

"That was risky, it compromised your wingman and the plane of millions." Blade replied.

"I hit you. That's what matters."

Rooster took a deep breath and frowned, clenching his jaw. He knew Phoenix was right, he couldn't be put off by Hangman's behavior, but he was still human. Listening to an asshole say he didn't care about the team as long as the mission was accomplished was ear-splitting.

"What would you do in this situation?" Claire asked the rest of the room.

"I would have done the same. Every second counts up there." Coyote commented and gave his friend a thumbs up.

"I would have left it on a draw. It was already past thirty seconds." Porkus said.

"Thirty seconds longer than we got." Fungus complained.

"Following the protocols would be enough." Rooster finally opined.

"Rooster and his love for the methods and techniques in the book." Hangman fired again.

"No cataloged combat maneuver has ever killed my team."

"Not an enemy, right, Rooster." he played with the toothpick. "Am I the only one to understand here that the enemy does not play fair or use everything that is in the norms? I fly to win."

"And it doesn't matter to you that your wingman dies in the process." Phoenix commented firmly.

"He... must be bold enough to fly with me."

Phoenix narrowed his eyes upon knowing that Hangman hadn't used the word "he" in vain. He made it very clear there that he would never fly with her without being ordered. Hangman announced to everyone that she, like all women, was not daring enough to fly with him or worse, against him.

"Since you think you're so unreachable, tell us which of us you'd fly with, Bagman." Storm insulted and then coughed. "Wow, my throat is terrible. I meant Hangman."

Everyone knew that wasn't true, including the instructors who exchanged glances with one another. Claire held back a smile and Blade rubbed his mouth to keep from laughing. The pilots were not very discreet and let out quick laughs and a few jokes.

Hangman didn't appreciate the teasing attention one bit. He tried to keep the smug smile on to show that it didn't affect him. But deep down, he was shaking with rage. He could put up with ill-mannered comebacks, shaming and judgmental looks, but being made fun of was too much.

Words from his parents ran through his mind, the laughs, the comments when he said he wanted to be a fighter pilot. Everything came back. The hurt, the pain, the contempt. He felt suffocated, immersed in dark waters. His breathing was quickened. It was really getting to him. Fuck!

However, he felt a delicate and warm touch on his right thigh. It was Phoenix's hand that stopped him from frantically moving his leg any further. He knew that act was only meant to stop him from brushing against her leg, but for some reason, the gesture actually calmed him down. Hangman looked up at her, meeting those eyes glittering in the dim light so close to him. Her expression almost spoke to him "Are you okay?" and Hangman managed to put his head on the surface of the sea.

"None of you." He replied returning to the superb smile and still looking at her. "Yet."

He winked at Phoenix, who rolled her eyes and removed her hand from his thigh as quickly as a hummingbird's wings flutter.

"Okay, pilots. That was our last review for today." Claire resumed the leadership of the room. "You are released for training and tomorrow we will analyze your performances again."

The light was turned on again and soon the pilots left the room. In the hall, Hangman spotted the instructor with the goatee and saw him wave at Phoenix and flash a smile. She waved two fingers and kept walking. That was very strange. Did she fuck him? But Hangman was much more personable and talented than that guy. Why did she go to bed with that weirdo and not him?

They took a break in the break room, where there were two couches upholstered in brown leather, a foosball table, and a breakfast nook. Main meals were usually held in the refectory, but a snack could be had there. On the walls were several frames with images of planes in many generations and photos of old Top Gun classes, since 1969.

Phoenix noticed Rooster approach one of the paintings and watch it for long minutes with a pained expression. He held his dog tag between his fingers, now squeezing hard, now guiding it from side to side. She noticed that he did this whenever the group gathered there and hadn't realized that it could be something important. Until that moment.

"In five weeks it will be us in this room." She commented with a smile as she approached him.

"If we can make it to graduation alive." she replied in a somber tone.

"What does that mean?"

Rooster sighed, still staring at a class photo from 1986.

"When I joined the Navy, I wanted to serve my country, be a good pilot, make my..." He paused. " But here, I see that almost nobody thinks like that. The legacy is what matters. The titles, the fame. This can all go to your head and... wreak havoc."

She considered his comment for a moment and her gaze instinctively landed on Hangman, who was roaring in competition on the foosball table. She remembered the small debate that had taken place in the room and would have given Rooster complete reason if she hadn't seen that look in Hangman's eyes. He looked lost, hurt. And she knew it had nothing to do with Storm's comment because they had already made much heavier jokes and he was still impenetrable as a stone. But not that day. Phoenix had seen a gap in the rock called the Hangman.

"Everyone has their own motivations." she said at last.

"Wrong motivations can lead you to death or worse on your team." He squeezed the dog tag tightly. "Guys like Hangman are a shortcut to the grave."

Rooster pulled away from her slowly and she didn't push for more information. He clearly hated the way Hangman flew and treated the team, it was a fact. But, something told her that there was an entire cavern in the emptiness of his gaze.

Phoenix approached the photograph observing a man very similar to Rooster in the center and below read the names of the pilots. Nick "Goose" Bradshaw. She slightly arched her eyebrows. There was actually more history there than she thought.

"One more for the cowboy account. AW!" Hangman celebrated in the game.

She rolled her eyes and headed to the pantry for a cup of coffee. The coffee pot had broken the first day they'd been there, so she'd have to brew it the old-fashioned way. She wasn't usually very good in the kitchen, but she knew how to do the basics excellently. Her father called it the "classic" in the family, the one everyone judged by its cover, but the contents were splendid.

"I want mine Texas style."

She didn't even have to lift her head to know who it was. So, she went back to her task without saying a single word.

"You're still ignoring me. OK. I'll make my own coffee."

Phoenix watched from the side of the eye as Hangman walked around the counter and was soon invading the tiny space in the pantry. She remained preparing her black coffee straight, but it was impossible not to be disturbed by his movements. One hand appeared with the coffee beans, the other with cinnamon sticks, brown sugar and a mug of powder. Was that coffee or an expensive drink?

She finished preparing her coffee and drank it, soon feeling her body relax again. Being in a fighter pilot school was stressful, even more so because of the competition between them. However, what really left her sleepless at times was Hangman, who invaded her thoughts with memories of her arrogance and she thought of countless ways to curse him when she saw him next time.

Her reverie was interrupted by a delicious aroma. She didn't know how he'd prepared it or if it was any good, but the smell made her curious.

"Would you like to taste it? I allow." he offered with that annoying smile that made her want to punch those perfect teeth out.

She let out a weak smile and shook her head, going back to sipping her own coffee. Somehow that traditional flavor was bland next to that aroma. Fuck! She wanted to taste it. But she couldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her asking for something from him. So, she continued to drink her plain black coffee.

Minutes later, Hangman left the pantry with a cup in hand and walked towards the pilots on the couch. However, she noticed that there was a small cup on the counter with Texas coffee in it. Did he leave it there to drink later or for her? Well, he was distracted by the warm talk of a baseball game. If she took a single sip, to savor it, he wouldn't notice when she went to drink. If that cup was really for her, he wouldn't notice she drank it either and Phoenix wouldn't give him the taste. It was a good plan.

Then, Phoenix surreptitiously dragged the cup off the counter and stood with his back to the rest of the pilots. She tasted. Fuck, that was more than good. It was a masterpiece of coffee plantation. The way the coffee soothed her and the cinnamon gave her the shivers was wonderful. She had to congratulate Texas for inventing something so delicious. After the single sip, she returned the cup to its former place and set the cup down. Hangman wouldn't notice anything.

[***]

They floated like gods, above the storm, above the clouds. The weather that afternoon had changed drastically in minutes, but the control center warned that the rain would not fall so quickly. They could carry out the training.

Overhead, two F-18s could be seen flying side by side over the sea. Phoenix was a little further back protecting Hangman's rear. Once again, the choice of duos could not have been more wrong.

"Ok, in case I haven't made it clear, I'm the pilot and you're my wingman." Hangman reported on the communicator and she knew he was smiling superbly.

"I didn't stay here behind you for nothing." Phoenix replied in disdain.

"I'm glad you recognize my leadership power."

"No, we just left you ahead to die first." Storm fired.

"You don't want me to die, do you, Phoenix? After all, who would make that coffee so good for you?"

What a son of a bitch! He got it. But how? She had been very discreet and he was showing off to the other pilots. Well, if he wanted to play, then they would.

"I've tasted better."

"Still very proud." he insulted and she saw him shake his head. "What do I do with you?"

"You can start by being silent. We have a mission to accomplish."

"Now you spoke my language!"

They noticed a gray blob point alongside them at 900 knots speed, then a flash and the nose of the plane appeared 300 feet away. The instructor passed them so fast that they could only see the left wing and then disappeared completely.

Hangman wasted no time and charged towards him, quickly gaining speed. Phoenix followed, though he didn't communicate the plan. She had expected something like this.

"I have a six o'clock strobe." Storm informed Phoenix. "Jesus! I think he's targeting us."

"What? I thought he was ahead."

"Coming in at high speed, very fast. Turn right!"

"Right!"

Phoenix obeyed his navigator's command and had to hold the stick firmly to avoid a greater impact due to his speed. She could only see the lights flashing on the engine. That dogfighting wasn't going to be easy like the first one. Phoenix accelerated the plane and returned to stand beside Hangman.

"He is very fast. We're not going to win if we don't have a plan."

"I have a plan."

"And how is that?"

"You'll see."

Phoenix wanted to curse him in every possible way and fire a missile at his plane, but she couldn't. She was better than that. She knew he wouldn't say anything about the plan, if he actually had one, and she would need to find out on the way. Hangman was terrible at teamwork.

"He won't even tell us the plan?" Storm asked indignantly.

"No. It's me and you here."

"That bitch!"

"I'm still listening..." Hangman warned on the communicator.

"Excellent!"

They heard the alarm on the display indicating the instructor's presence, but they couldn't see where he was. The sky was getting darker and darker. The beep intensified on the screen. Their hearts pounded with tension.

Suddenly, a beak pointed out over the clouds behind them and rapidly picked up speed. It was too close, too fast. They would lose if they didn't move in time. Hangman's F-18 took a direction towards the sun hidden by the overcast clouds and disappeared into the shadows.

"What is he doing?!" Storm asked furiously.

"That son of a bitch!" Phoenix shouted into the communicator. "He abandoned us!"

"Attack at nine o'clock! AT NINE O'CLOCK!"

"Hold on!"

Phoenix decided to use her trademark maneuver to get out of that predicament. She gained positive airspeed and rotated 180°, cutting through a path of dark clouds. The air was freezing. Her fingers were shaking, her head was pressed against the chair and the breath was escaping her lungs. It took all of Phoenix's strength not to pass out. Storm was with her. Storm was with her.

Phoenix took hold of her hands again to direct the F-18 behind the instructor's fighter and breathlessly called out:

"Storm! Aim for it!" she found only silence. - Storm!

Phoenix quickly looked back to find her navigator passed out. The G force had been too strong for her. They had not yet accomplished that at such an altitude or in an overcast sky. Phoenix pressed her lips together tightly and tried not to tremble with fear. She used a trick Storm had taught her to calm down. She inhaled and exhaled deeply several times until she regained control of herself and adjusted the stick to aim at her opponent.

She heard the beeping sound of the lead fighter, but she hadn't been the one to shoot it down. It was Hangman.

“And the cowboy wins again.” He celebrated bringing the plane closer to hers.

“Fuck you, asshole.”

Phoenix banked her fighter to the left and headed for base. Upon landing, she opened the canopy and rose, soon approaching Storm. She patted her cheeks and her friend started mumbling. Phoenix gave a relieved smile and hugged her navigator tightly.

“Woah! You...are... too strong for...a skinny one.” Storm complained opening her eyes.

“And you are ungrateful.”

“What there was?” She settled on the bench, feeling drops wet her face. It started to rain. “Did we win?”

“That's the least important thing.” Phoenix caressed her friend's face. “You're safe.”

“Do we win or not? I don't want to pass out for nothing.”

Phoenix rolled her eyes and laughed. Storm was sometimes more competitive than she was.

“Yeah, we won.”

“YEY!” She cheered with both arms in the air.

Phoenix helped her friend out of the fighter despite her protests that she was fine. The other pilots were running along the flight path towards the hangar, as the rain was already beginning to weigh. They followed their lead.

“Hey, Phoenix!” She heard that voice that heated her whole being with rage. “I can't believe you used the Hammerhead turn. It was daring!”

“Go find someone else to piss off, idiot.” she returned with the tone loaded with hate.

“Wow. What a mood, huh? It doesn't even look like we won.”

“No thanks to you.” she clenched her fists. If he spoke one more word he would explode.

“If I remember correctly, I hit him.”

“Yes, after using us as bait!”

Phoenix roared, parking in place and finally looking up at that smug face. The rain didn't let up, it fell harder and harder. She panted, unable to control her anger. He had the power to always get her out of control.

When Phoenix found himself, she had advanced towards him and started a sequence of shoves and slaps on his chest. And she got angrier every time it didn't seem to hit him a bit.

“You son of a bitch! You left us there to die!’ She shouted feeling her voice falter.

“I won't always be there to protect you, my angel.” He informed with that smile and it served to intensify Phoenix's anger. She pushed him mercilessly and he just pulled away a little.

“I know! I don't need your protection! But if we are cast as a team we must look out for each other!”

“New to you or not, but I already said that I don't work in a team. I'm forced here.”

“You forced me to do a risky maneuver. My navigator passed out!”

“It's not my fault if she's not fit for this profession. If she can't take it, she walks out.”

The words fanned Phoenix's anger and she pushed him even further. They were already in the middle of the flight line, under a torrential rain and everyone had already entered the hangar, including Storm who was taken by force to the infirmary by the instructor.

“That's selfish! You're a cocky, cocky motherfucker who thinks you don't need anybody!”

“Yes I am!” He shouted back.”I do NOT need anyone. I'm enough for myself!”

Phoenix chuckled humorlessly, still not quite believing what she was hearing. The rain was already so heavy that they could barely see each other. The sun had completely hidden.

“That's the biggest lie I've ever heard!”

“I don't care if you don't believe it. But I am my greatest love!”

“Oh my God. This is so sad!” She approached him. “And yes, you're lying.”

“Why?”

“Earlier today in class. You were alone against everybody. You were a nervous wreck, it looked like you were going to be sick. And you needed me to calm down!”

She noticed that his smile faded and the cocky expression disappeared. He was pure shame and sadness. She almost felt sorry for him, but she pulled herself together. He had abandoned her. He was a real executioner. He didn't deserve compassion.

“If you want to get back at me for not having sex with you, fine! I can handle it! But not in the sky, not when I have someone to protect!”

“I don't give a shit about it! You already have plenty of other idiots around here to sleep with, don't you?”

"You're a piece of shit!"

Phoenix gave him one last push and walked away, plodding down the flight path. Her chest was heaving, her heart was beating like a drum, her entire body was trembling. And she really wanted to say it was from the cold, but no. She was possessed with rage.

"I thought that's what you wanted!"

She answered him with a middle finger and continued walking without stopping until she reached the locker room. Phoenix yanked her flight suit off, throwing it to the floor, and stepped into the shower, where she was finally able to shed the tears she'd been holding back. She'd been so scared, never seen her faint, never been this close to losing her. He had no right to mess with other lives.

After putting on her beige uniform and fixing her hair in a bun, Phoenix opened the locker room door and was dizzy with what she found. There he was, standing like a statue, dripping wet, still in his flight suit and the pained expression on his face. He was the opposite of Hangman. He was heartbroken.

She didn't say anything. He didn't say anything either. Both remained there looking at each other in a mixture of anger and sadness for a long time. Phoenix could feel her anger fading as it sank deeper into those sad, tender eyes. He was more than a selfish cocky. He was a lonely and hurt man.

Understanding this, it wasn't difficult to understand when he approached her and hugged her. A tight hug, like a helpless child. She should push him away, feel revulsion or contempt for what he's done, but she doesn't.

She was slow to reciprocate due to the sheer awkwardness of that act, but when she did, she felt there was nothing more right to do.

Hangman snuggled closer to her, and even though he was much taller, he buried his head in the crook of her neck. His arms surrounded her waist tightly, almost crushing her and the water soaked her uniform entirely. She didn't care. Her fingers stroked the hair on the back of his neck and down his back, breathing in the scent of coconut mixed with rain.

It was not known how long they remained there in that position, but neither of them seemed to want to separate. It was strange and right at the same time. That didn't replace the fact that he'd put her in danger, if only in simulation. But it served to show that he was lying when he said he didn't need anyone.

Hangman was lacking in affection.

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