#i won't get into the rest but i remember that part DISTINCTLY
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hi loves
a wee announcement/bit of reflection below the cut
nothing heavy, just some thoughts & updates
First of all, I want to say I love this fandom so much. Truly I do. It has carried me though possibly the hardest, loneliest year of my life (and this ol' girl has been though some dark times). I've made friendships here that I hope to cherish for the rest of my life.
I came into fanfiction in October of last year, after not writing anything substantial for almost a decade. My dear friend at the time said she was looking for a specific Eddie Munson story, so I wrote it for her. I wrote it in first person because I didn't even understand how "reader perspective" was a thing, that's how wet behind the ears I was to this world. My friend, on the other hand, is a well-versed fic reader, and I distinctly remember messaging her like, "okay, what the hell is a Y/N??"
I spent that entire dark, cold winter writing and passing it to her in parts like notes in a classroom. The rush of getting back to something I loved so deeply after so much time away turned me into a monster. I lived and breathed that story. We sent endless messages back and forth every day about what each character would do next, imagining ourselves in that world, with Eddie. We made playlists, we cried. We screamed and giggled and kicked our feet when they finally kissed. We mourned the loss when it ended and moped around a bit before going back to read it all over again. Some 40k words and four months later I realized, holy shit, I think I write fanfiction now?
In a way, fanfiction saved my life. It brought me back to a part of myself I had buried, a part of me that worried it might never see the light of day again. It came crawling out of the ground, gasping for air like, "you better stretch your fingers bitch because I have a lot to say."
In April, I started posting here when the fandom was notably beginning to wane, but I was happy to see there were so many still going hard for our man. I kinda creeped in, like a little scuttling crab, and was grateful to find that a handful of you embraced me.
Long story short, I am NOT leaving, not at all. I know the tone is there, but that is not what this is, lmao. I will hopefully keep this blog for as long as you will have me. I plan to finish writing I'm on Fire and Death Becomes Us, as well as maybe another bit for gargoyle!Eddie, and nightmare!Eddie, but the other series I've started (or planned to start) will stay on hiatus for a while, possibly forever. I will continue to post blurbs and hc's and whatnot, but I won't be committing to any new series or long fics.
My masterlists will remain intact for the time being for those who want to enjoy what is there. That being said, The Nightmare Factory and Stop the World and Melt with You, might be taken down in the future only because I plan to re-work them into original stories. I have a second non-fandom blog in the works that is dedicated to monsters, nightmares, and magic realism, and I will let those who are interested know about it when the time comes.
Mostly, I wanted to let you know that, even if you notice some changes, I will continue to persist with "My 2 Joe's" delulu era, possibly until the earth swallows me up. I am no longer taking requests, but my asks will always be open for thots, blurbs, obsessions, etc. You know how much I love hearing from you.
That's all really. Perhaps this is simply one of those "end of year" thought dumps, but I also wanted to say a heartfelt Thank You to those who continue to support me, enjoy my work, and share it. My Ride or Die monsterfuckers and biker Eddie enthusiasts. My nightmare Eddie dreamers, my Twilight Zone Eddie pineapple heads. My gargoyle Eddie romantics who cheer on our Stone Boy, and my Hybrid Steve lovers who leave their windows open at night. My True Blood friends who appreciate a vampire Eddie who is nothing like Bill Compton. My darlings, my fellow rebel rousers and misfits, my friends.
This is a very symbiotic relationship, and I could not/would not do this without you ❤️
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Nymph!AU - Post-rut sweet times between AePete, TutorFighter, and TinCan + MorkPi enjoying their alone time since no one is bothering them
Winter was slowly leaving and spring had begun its arrival. It was the time for nymphs to regain their lively nature but it was also the season of wolf mating and ruts for those of age. In many quiet caverns across the forest and woods, several couples had spent days indulging each other. And in some cases, even a few couples in town.
------
In Ae's den, the heavy smell of wolf pheromones was still in the air, but Pete sighed and allowed himself to sink deeper into the pile of furs, grasses, and other soft things that Ae had used to make their bed. Ae, for his part, continued to nuzzle the side of Pete's neck, his breath warm and heavy across Pete's over-sensitized skin. One of Ae's hands pulled Pete closer by the waist while the other rubbed Pete's thigh which was still faintly trembling.
"Thank you," Ae said in a voice that had gone hoarse. "So good for me during all this..." Ae kissed Pete's fluttering pulse along his neck. "So sweet..."
"Aeeee..." Pete tried his best but did not manage to even open one of his eyes. "Please..."
"Rest." Ae lapped at the sweat along Pete's jaw. "I'll get you some nice fruit and check on Pin."
"Ae is so good to me." Pete pulled Ae's face closer for a proper kiss.
"Kiss me like that again and I might be delayed another round or five." Ae teasingly ground his crotch against Pete's ass.
"Aeeeeee!
------
In another den, Fighter groaned as Tutor sank down into his lap again, but he did not refuse his mate. Instead his hands held Tutor's hips steady and in place.
"Are you tired already, you old wolf?" Tutor nipped under Fighter's jaw and Fighter could feel his blood stirring.
"You said you didn't want pups," Fighter said while leaning up for a kiss. "I would stop if such is the case. I'm not so old that you won't bear me one."
"I am a nymph," Tutor reminded him. "There is no being who can force me to bear a child if I do not wish it."
"Then..." Fighter tumbled them around and pressed Tutor back down into his bed of furs. "I will endeavor to make you want it. I will fill you to the brim with my love and vigor until it has no place to go but a pup of our own."
"Is that a challenge?!" Tutor jut his jaw out and Fighter obliged by nipping more bruises into his neck.
"It's a thing I might want. It's a thing I think we both may want one day. It may not be this rut, it may not be the next or the one after. But there is plenty of love and passion in me yet despite how old you call me." Fighter kissed his way down and bit one of Tutor's nipples. "And I have time yet to make you want it."
Tutor wrapped his legs around Fighter's waist. "Try me."
"As you wish."
------
Tin looked at Can, still in his wolf form, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth and looking far too pleased. Tin sighed, but still put a bowl of cool water by Can's lips.
"Drink some water, idiot."
Can yipped at Tin and started lapping water out of the bowl. Tin only rolled his eyes and took a bite out of his jerky before sniffing the air.
"You're still not done?"
Can abandoned his water to jump on to Tin's back as he changed forms. Wrapping his arms around Tin's neck, he leaned over as if to kiss his cheek, but stole the last bite of jerky instead.
"My needs are many and complex," Can said around the food in his mouth.
"You're insatiable whether it's rut or not is what it is."
"As if you weren't enjoying it..." Can let one of his hands rest over one of Tin's nipples. "I distinctly remember you sounding impressed about volume."
"I was not impressed." Tin said with a sniff before reaching for another piece of jerky. "I was horrified and wondered if we needed to find some sort of treatment for you. On that note, drink more water. I don't know how you haven't died of dehydration after every rut."
"Of course I haven't," Can said as he went to retrieve the bowl of water Tin had left for him. "I haven't spent ruts with a partner before you so I never had that as a concern."
"...Excuse me?"
"Yeah," Can said as he wiped his mouth after chugging the remaining water in the bowl. "I'd just handle it myself once or twice and go back to hunting." Can held out the empty bowl. "So if I drink more water, will you mount me again because I really wanna-"
Tin only groaned and tackled Can back into bed.
------
With objecting parties occupied, Pi found time to spend with his own partner and decided to spend the early days of spring hiding with Mork.
"Should I be lucky fox mating season is already over," Pi asked as Mork kept him warm by curling his body over Pi's as they hid in Mork's den, an old abandoned human shrine. "It almost seems improper to be here."
"You wouldn't be in any danger if that's what you mean," Mork said as he nuzzled Pi's cheek. "You haven't asked to be my mate so it wouldn't be proper for me to think that you'd agree."
"And... If I did agree?" Pi squeezed Mork's hand. "What then?"
"Then..." Pi could feel Mork's face grow warmer as it rested against his. "Well... I'd ask how to please and satisfy you. And then... I'd have to prepare all the things you'd need during that time and..."
"Please me?" Pi blinked. "What about-"
"You'd be my mate, of course you should be pleased and satisfied!" Mork said with audible concern. "Spending a mating period with me isn't just so I can..." Mork's face turned proper red and Pi couldn't help but giggle just a little at his sly fox becoming flustered. "I mean of course I want to! But that- I just wouldn't- I've thought about it a lot and uh..."
"So you've thought about mating me?" Pi teased.
Mork gave a pathetic fox whine and buried his face in Pi's neck. "...yes. A... normal amount."
"A normal amount?"
"A normal amount for a young and healthy fox," Mork said weakly.
Pi pulled away and Mork whined, but loosened his hold on the nymph. "I'm not going away, just wait a moment," Pi soothed as he kissed Mork's cheek.
From a little satchel, Pi removed a flower crown, woven of winter plum blossoms from his own tree, winter silver grass, bright red currants, and a single red rose he had begged Yo for. Mork watched, transfixed, as Pi placed the flower crown on his head and returned to his position on Mork's lap.
"You know, it is almost time for nymphs to feel the energy of spring," Pi said softly. "And I would enjoy having someone like you with me, to take care of me during it."
"I..." Mork kissed Pi softly before nipping his bottom lip. "I would be honored."
"I want..." Pi said firmly. "I want you to show me... Just what you've thought about. Because I..." Pi tried to look Mork in the eye and only managed to stare at the bridge of Mork's nose. "I love you." Pi nudged his body closer and Mork knew the nymph was aware of just where he'd placed his body. "And I want you."
"You have me," Mork said, hands coming to Pi's waist. "You have everything I can offer and more."
"I want a kiss..." Pi said as he raised his head.
"You will have it," Mork replied before kissing Pi with all that he could give to the nymph and more.
(If Pete noticed Pi's tree was in particularly vibrant bloom as he walked with Pin back to Ae's den a few days later, he was careful to not mention it to Tutor lest the other nymph ask Fighter for a fox fur coat.)
#lbc#why r u#fish upon the sky#aepete#tincan#fightertutor#morkpi#nymph!au#prompt spam weekend#winterpromptspam2023
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍
aw 🥺 thanks for sending this to me
Half Past Midnight: My first fic I wrote after a...idk how many years it was hiatus, right at the start of me falling back in love with CSI again and creating things for it; I took such a deep dive into Nick's head and part of what I did in writing this was watching only Nick's parts on a loop, in the dark, with headphones on and I distinctly remember a point where it really got to me and I gasped for air and spooked my dog (don't worry he was okay just startled lol) It was also the first fic I started playing around and including my own headcanons in there
Last Breath: I just...have a lot of good memories from writing this fic. It was probably the most interactive, like I would go so far as to say it was almost even like a collaboration because so many people pitched ideas (the idea for the fic as a whole was straight up handed to me on a silver platter) and made the fic better for it, and I also really got to know my Stokes children OCs in doing this fic--I did do a handful of fics for them before this, but I feel like I really hammered down who they were and it won't be the last fic on this list but I do also have the sequel (First Flight) to use as a chance to cover things I missed in the first one and explore more universe altering headcanons. It was also my first like, longer fic at around 64k word count wise, and right now my longest completed fic lol
Atrophy: I swear this list I'm just going off of fics that I have distinct memories of attachment to; this one I started writing on my way to a wedding and brought back an OC I created back when I was a teenager. After the wedding I had to go to this university for a class paid for by my job and I spent the car rides there and back brainstorming, and even writing in between classes (and if I recall...even during class at some points shh.) Its sequel Agony is uh, giving me some challenges and I regret a lot of things like maybe pushing it out so fast and then losing steam and wishing I did some things different/toned it down, but Atrophy I still feel mostly good about (though man imagine if I went as hard on it as I am with Agony as long and drawn out as it is lol) and the ficverse as a whole is definitely a favorite of mine
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Surprise, another Grave Danger fic. I wrote this during a pretty rough time and just remember being proud of myself for doing it, and wrote it all within a week and the ideas and words just kept...flowing. It felt like I was truly in my element when I wrote it and helped me remember why I love writing so much.
Specimen Stokes: God I know this fic also went off the rails like Agony did where I worry it became like...too much and should have held back a little (no pun intended) but I will never forget the day I ran out of work to go start writing a one shot in response to an anon who I don't even think technically asked for it as a fic, it was like "choose between these scenarios" and as I started to think about it I just...couldn't help myself. Like Atrophy I have sequels in mind and all sorts of things I want to do and I swear I actually have the rest of this fic installment planned out it's just...writing it lol. And taking the plunge into making it sci-fi and twisting the characters in the AU has been a blast and I feel like a great amount of my creativity has shown through in this fic, the edits and stuff I made for it, and the ideas I have coming up.
#i know i'm not really on here anymore and haven't even created much since what. april?#for sure I haven't really giffed. maybe made an icon or two#but i have been writting little bits and pieces here and there and recently had a dream that inspired yet another fic#that i'll probably never write/finish but i think I might combine it with another WIP and if it is ever done...the angst man#i just wanna make things again and feel good about it#though i guess writing so much about my fics has to be worth something in regards to that...right?
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Alolan Dusk 6
Gladion:
Looks like some kind of hidden recording device, but it's not like one I've ever seen.
Lillie:
He probably made it himself. When Ilima first contacted us about this rescue mission, I even teased him how surprised I was to learn he became a field agent since he was always much better with his machines. [Soberly] It looks like now I was right...
Gladion:
Depends on who or what got to him. If it's our mystery monster, even the professionals were out of their league with that. [Soft hum as it isn't a very complicated device, but he's still surprised how easy it is to open.] There's only one file that says it stopped after fourteen hours of recording. I assume he left it running before it maxed out.
Lillie:
[Nervous as she’s not sure she wants to see, but part of her just has to know what’s on it] Can we play it?
Gladion:
[Leans back] Pull the chair around, this could take a while.
[There's a fuss of static as she drags the guest chair from the other side of the desk. There’s something obscure in the light before it suddenly cuts out. As she settles in, they both huddle closer to the dark screen to see if they can make out anything.]
"Won't be ...he finds the ...here...?"
Gladion:
[Shakes head and goes to mess with the sound mix.]
"Joke's on him. We've got a full battalion..."
Lillie:
[Sits back and turns it back down a bit] Okay, he came in very clear that time. That must have been when Ilima put it in his pocket.
"Put your fangs away and think for a moment. That thing just took out my house, what do you think it'd do to a Snubbull?"
[They both freeze as the other voice also comes out much clearer than before and Lillie pales at the familiarity of it.]
"We can't just sit here and wait for that, that… OUTSIDER to come down here-"
[As the ensuing argument and plan between the two plays out, there's no denying the voices. Kukui took off for the stairs and the sound goes quiet, except for the increasing hush of the pouring rain as they can assume Ilima stepped outside. For a brief moment the video clears to show a ground level glimpse at the battle about to begin on the beach. Gladion goes back to pause it, and while the rain, distance, and the gray hue of the night vision makes it impossible to distinguish the figures, Lillie clutches a hand to the ribbon on her blouse.]
Lillie:
Professor…
Gladion:
[Nods] And that's our monster, but is it Necrozma? You're the only one left who's seen it.
Lillie:
[The snapshot is too grainy to tell for sure, but as she leans in to see what she can make out, her eyes widen as the memory strikes her.] I think it is! See that? [Her finger circles a point at the creature's side and he tries to enlarge it.] That's its paw. I distinctly remember these massive claws that didn't seem to fit with the rest of it. And when it took over Nebby, it still had those strange arms hanging off of it. [Curls her fingers as she retakes her seat] Oh… I don't know if I can watch…
Gladion:
I don't think we have to since it went dark again.
[He fixes the screen and, sure enough, the video is dark for what feels like an eternity. All they can hear was the rush. The storm, the heavy breathing from running, a cry from a Tauros… Gladion starts to skip the tape ahead by thirty-second intervals to see if there was anymore to hear. The ocean, the motor…
The rain eases up as they can only assume from Ilima entering the shelter of the cabin. The light flicks on to a colorless video set to night vision mode and the camera spins to right itself. The fledgling detective breathes a sigh of relief at the screen as he brushes his wet bangs out of his face and tries to steady himself.]
Ilima:
I… I'm still not sure exactly what just happened back there, but I need to say… something. This is either going to make total sense when I watch this later or sound absolutely ludicrous. If anyone besides me should be watching this, I need you to make sure this message gets to the head of Aether Paradise. ...If it's not too late.
[He looks out the window with some uneasiness and moves the camera to a place it can sit still while he drives.]
Ilima:
You may call me Dauphine, I am a special agent with the E.I.A., on assignment to aid in the evacuation of Alola to escape the threat of an otherworldly predator. The same which I think just took out Professor Kukui. [Deep breath, keep going] He and I were at his lab to discuss plans for the evacuation. Somehow, it appears word has gotten to our predator, [ahem] what we believe to be a monster known as UB Black, and the news of our abandonment has greatly enraged it. Hard to say if it's distressed or being possessive, but I have no doubt in my mind now that THAT is what we are dealing with. This UB has proven to be far more intelligent than previously thought as it isn't attacking out of blind animosity. It can speak, it can plan, and I've got reason to believe now that the targets so far have all been to maintain its greatest secret. To keep any information that would help us to track it from getting out. Our studies have shown that UB Black can take control of other beings in the form of masks, and it is able to morph its own body into a sort of armor for the possessed. However, we've had accounts of it being able to fully absorb and manipulate its victim, though that may be circumstantial to the nature of the Pokemon. What I fear… is can it let itself be absorbed? [He shakes his head, his face graven as he seems held by some train of thought he can't convey.] Let me rephrase that. There was something definitely human about our attacker, and now I've got a hunch that UB Black's latest victim is actually a Trainer that it's using as both a stabilizer and shield since its true form might be incorporeal. But if, [he emphasizes at the screen] IF it's possible that the UB is able to hide itself away in its vessel like other Outsiders have been known to do, then we have to be on the highest alert when bringing people into Paradise. Aether, if you are listening, listen carefully. I don't know if you have a way to detect…
[Ilima pauses as though he heard or sensed something and gives a subtle glance over his shoulder. He quickly reaches for the camera and slips it back into the blackness of his pocket.]
Ilima:
But I highly doubt this UB would be bold enough to enter in plain sight.
Lillie:
[Seems to notice it about the same time he did. Grips Gladion's shoulder.] Go back, go back, just, like, ten seconds!
[Gladion rewinds and puts the video at half speed. There's definitely something in the background as an object falls outside the glass doorway, then starts to lift. While it's impossible to make out a form, just as Ilima goes to glance behind him, a bright pair of lights shaped like a huge set of eyes appears in the space behind him. The vision blurs as the camera gets moved and finally goes dark again. Gladion gives a cautionary glance at his sister, seeing the distress on her face, but the temptation is too great. He sets it back to normal speed, curious to know if there's more.
A shrill screech followed by the sound of the door breaking mixes with the startled shout from the young agent. It must have been quick. The shuffle of cloth, the pounding on the boat's hard wooden floor, the metallic claws likely carving into the narrow walls like the president had seen when they went to investigate. Gladion's hand hovers over the mouse but he just can't bring himself to turn it off yet. Lillie turns the chair away to get up and covers her ears as she anticipates the screaming.]
Lillie:
[Even if they couldn't see, her mind reeled as she could well imagine it.] Gladion, please! I think we know what happens from here.
Gladion:
Huh? [Looks over to realize she's not next to him anymore. Stands up to see her just as she steps out the door.] Lillie, come back! We still need to discuss… [He leans out the office and sees her stepping quickly, but not rushed enough to alert anyone passing by that something was wrong. Sighs. He'll catch her later when she's had time to talk to Wicke and calm down. Lillie was right though, after this was likely several hours of drifting at sea and no new information.]
“Fast, aren't you?”
[A consistent wave of static starts to roll down the screen, varying in thickness, but a strained guttural voice comes in almost clear.]
“There’s nowhere to run here. Why don't you fight back?”
Gladion:
… … …? [That wasn't Ilima. Turns around and slowly approaches the desk again in curiosity.]
Ilima:
Exactly. [Strained as though under the weight of something and filled with anger as opposed to fear.] We both know what happens now… is inevitable. The plan is… in motion… and you can't stop it. You WILL lose… even… if I can't win.
[There comes something like… laughter. A hissing sound so close to the mic, it had to have been on top of him. Ilima has nothing to retort with as the only sound is a restrained whine from the pain. The screen suddenly starts to brighten. So bright that the camera is somewhat able to peer at the terrible, twisted face, though it's obscured by its view through the mesh of cloth. Gladion feels his own heart start to race as it appears to look straight at him, the dread to realize this was likely the last thing their guest had seen before passing out. The large glowing eyes set deeply into a black mask that spiked at the edges, ended at the nose, and a pale human mouth with an arrogant grin that opens as if ready to feed before everything suddenly turns into indiscernible static.]
Gladion:
[Jumped back as he hadn't expected the abrupt visual but he's a bit glad Lillie left after all. He cranks down the volume of the static and goes back to pause on the attempted view of the face and thinks on the agent's advice. A human… No, a monster with a human mask. How were they ever going to find him?]
=+=
[It had been a long day, but Lillie returned to the quiet of the hospital ward that evening. Having just seen Ilima in the video earlier, it's almost surreal to come back and see him so still. Gently taking his hand, she tries to smile as she gives it a pat.]
Lillie:
Welcome home. [Glances around the room with a bit of a sigh.] I'm not sure if you can hear me, but… Thank you. For trying, at least. It might make you happy to know that we got your message. Even though I'm not sure how much it helps since we don't really have a way to tell Shadows apart from anyone else until something happens. [Let's him go and eases his arm back to his side] … … I'm probably talking to one right now. [Tries to sound hopeful] We'll take care of you though. And Professor Kukui, if we can find him. It may not ideal but… But we'll figure out something.
[Listens to the monitor beeping as he continues to sleep. She doesn't really expect any sort of response, but after a moment she finally comes out of her daydreaming and goes to sit down in the visitor's seat.]
Lillie:
All this planning, it's hard to believe we're finally doing this. [She thought of all her friends in Alola. Of what Gladion said before about bracing herself for even more bad news. She thought of Necrozma's first appearance when her mother fell from the Ultra Wormhole onto the altar, frightened and injured, telling them to run. Run. Run. It's all she ever did, wasn't it? But one person kept coming to mind through all of this. Was Roark still okay? Was he even still out there somewhere?]
~~~~~~~
A/N: [Static Noises] :)
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hi kaz<3 i am on a quest for a jd quote that i read once but cannot find again, was wondering if you could help? it was an interlude before a song, and the quote began with a metaphor about waking up in a forest. one part i remember distinctly was like "and when you realize that the name of the game is Hurting You, then you can head them off at the pass, and you can beat them at that game.". idk if you have any idea what I'm talking abt lolol but google definitely does Not, ty for reading in any case:)
"Imagine that you awake and find yourself lost in the woods. You remember a little about how you got there, but it hardly matters now, because remember won't help you find the path out, and it feels important to stay focused. There must be sunlight somewhere. You know that it's going to take you a long time to get where you're going, and that some bad things are probably going to happen to you along the way. Over time - the journey being even longer than you'd suspected - you learn that some of those bad things can be headed off at the pass: you just have to beat them at their own game. Their game, however, involves hurting you; it's not the same game if you point the damage elsewhere. At this point in the scenario, some of you are probably thinking: "Wait: you had me, and then you lost me." The rest of you know exactly what I'm talking about and you have the scars to prove it, and you'll be doing me a favor if you'll explain it to the others, since this song was as close as I could come."
it's from the short film about the life of the world to come and about hebrews 11:40
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1/5 Just thinking about what kind of daemons the characters of BE would have? Like my first input for Dongsik would have been a fox (laughing but careful, independent but can be in groups?) but then again Dongsik's daemon would have settled before yu-yeon's disappearance (her daemon was definitely some kind of bird - a songbird or a painted snipe?) and I just think his would be a bird too (a jay?)
which would make everything even more hurtful in the long run because his daemon would fly away from him for days (and I just now remember that birds are meant to be witches' daemons - a bad omen, of course things would go awry with the Lee twins although her songbird was so sweet and well-mannered)
(the fact that Dongsik's jay has a distinctly male voice does not go unnoticed either) (years later there is the matter of Jae-yi's Maine Coon with her suave voice telling rude customers off) (would also love for Jae-yi to have a red-crowned crane? Actually?) Most of the Manyang crew have wolves daemons or animals that strive in mountain settings.
Jihoon's daemon barely changes even before he is settled, a quiet pup turning into a mixed breed. And then comes Han Juwon, who for the longest time was followed by a dog or a fox as he run in dark English corridors but whose daemon settles as a snow leopard
(of course dongsik's jay must come and settle on Juwon's daemon even as they are barely acquainted. Of course he would start pecking his head). Sorry for the rambling but your input is always really interesting?? So
aaah, anon, i actually adore this idea! i actually haven't been familiar with the concept of daemons before (but i think i get the gist of them after doing a few quick google searches). although also, i love the idea of dong sik and yu yeon having somewhat matching daemons: birds especially, with yu yeon's songbird to dong sik's blue jay. i did some more research, though, and in the process learned that witches can survive a long time without their daemon close by--and a part of my heart breaks at yu yeon's little songbird twittering up a scared storm right before The Thing Happens. (and dong sik not being able to find yu yeon's songbird, repeatedly telling himself that it's fine, the bird's just with yu yeon, keeping her safe when, in actuality, the songbird's long gone.) (no idea if that's accurate to the daemon canon--i'm not quite as familiar with his dark materials, even though i've been meaning to watch the series!)
i also love the idea of jae yi having a crane as her daemon: elegant, just like her. (also always keeping a watchful eye on everything that happens in manyang.)
as for the rest of the manyang crew having wolves or another mountain animals also makes me so happy, because i think they're mostly pack animals, right? and that sort of suits the entirety of manyang, in that whole "we piss each other off but as soon as we see a greater danger, we band together to shove the enemy out" mentality.
also, i personally love the idea of joo won's daemon shifting into a dog and then turning into some kind of big cat. (threatening at first glance, but turning out to be rather soft.)
dong sik's jay settling on joo won's leopard is also such a sweet image? i think joo won would probably get annoyed about it for a moment, because from what i've found on the internet, sometimes people's daemons interacting with each other can be considered a violation--or trust. i think dong sik would be a little bit miffed too, especially in the beginning, but i think the jay and snow leopard would get along oddly well (and it's only a matter of time before dong sik and joo won start doing the same).
also, because the birds can usually be a little ways from their human companions, i raise you "dong sik's blue jay won't stop pecking at joo won's window at like 2 am to be like go help your partner" and joo won very grouchily driving back to manyang (but also worried), only to find that dong sik's actually FineTM, his daemon's just playful and sly.
#answered#beyond evil#this is motivating me to actually watch his dark materials#(ann if you're reading this i swear i have no excuse now that it's summer)
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you asked for some sledge/snafu headcanon here's some?
you know what, i don't think sledge and snafu end up shacking up together. i think they live near each other and they visit all the time and they go out on man dates every week but i don't think they live together. snafu would be distinctly uncomfortable living beyond his means on someone else's money and sledge wouldn't be the type to "slum it" nor would it befit his station.
i'm not even sure if they're still "romantically involved" if you'll forgive the phrase. i don't know how they'd work it out. i have less of a case for them being interested in each other as people than i do for them being interested in each other for what they represent. it's a matter of psychological dependence vs love, goddamn this is gay as shit. sledge/snafu have a really strong codependence, but i'm not sure that would carry on for the rest of their lives. at some point, their respective personal issues straighten out. sledge stops being angry at everything, snafu stops hating everything. what have they got to hold them together other than that? once their little codependent bubble breaks open and other people start existing again, what makes them choose each other?
i don't really see it, anyway. i think after they stop needing each other, everything else just kind of fades off too. i think they're still really good, unlikely friends, but sledge eventually gets married, has kids, the like. snafu is everyone's cool uncle, and maybe he finds a creole girl with a really strong personality and a fantastic smile, or maybe that's a boy, or maybe he just disappears into the morning one day and lives on only as a figment in urban legends and broken bar stools.
no one will ever remember him growing old. he'll turn up somewhere, years down the line, and sledge'll get a call from somewhere in minnesota of all places and roe'll get one a couple hours after that and he'll have been dying for a while but didn't tell anyone, and sledge'll yell at him and roe will look disappointed, but he'll die with his friends by his bed and that will be his good death. he won't mind that.
there may or may not be a string of wild-eyed, wiry haired children littered across the nation. that's always a possibility
ive spent a month looking at this. thank u. quite hilarious tho i mean to get a headcanon which goes something like here is an analysis of why your fav dudes have no future together LMAO i agree tho ok. tbh ive really liked the idea of them staying as friends and parting their ways at some point. its bitter but it makes it.. more special in a way. it adds a unique sort of value to the relationship. it had heavily transformed but its still there, the connection. love. its nice. gives hope.
#also#that sentence#'maybe he just disappears into the morning one day and lives on only as a figment in urban legends and broken bar stools.'#beautiful???#broken bar stools....#ideal
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Roman glances up at Bryce for a moment before resting his head against him once again. He gives a small shrug. "Well… I guess… I just knew enough from other things you've said to be able to put that together…I don't know… I've picked up little bits of your story from things you've told me… things I've overheard…"
Right. Bryce wonders briefly if he needs to take a serious look at the precautions he's been taking to keep from being found out. If Roman could put so much together, so easily…
"The only part of the story that really felt completely new was that you're working with people to do… damage control."
But…Hasn't he talked about that with Roman? He distinctly remembers practically falling apart, complaining to Roman that he felt useless, if Mal was looking for a 'trainer'.
Concern flickers across his face as he thinks about the report Kyle wrote, and the reason Roman is keeping a journal. It's good that Roman's not looking.
"Okay," he whispers. And then, a moment later, "You…You get that that I'd do it again, though? For anyone in my family."
Which, right now, consists of two whole people. Both siblings. And Jean won't ever need that kind of help.
"Okay," Bryce whispers. And then, a moment later, "You…You get that that I'd do it again, though? For anyone in my family."
Is that... Roman? It is, he thinks, remembering back to the way Bryce was ready to leave with him and not look back when everything was going down with Avery.
Roman nods against Bryce's shoulder. "... Yeah..." he says after his moment's consideration. "I... I do."
#whump#whump rp#whump roleplay#roleplay#roman cates#rp#whumpee#whumplr reader#bryce stryerson#caretaker
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promises [summer collection: vol 3]
❀ timeskip! matsukawa issei x gn! reader | wc: 1.2k
summary: snapshots of the promises he made you, 8 years at a time from when you were 8 to 16 and finally a proposal at 24.
note: volumes are not connected this is a standalone story.
"hey! you can trust me," he smirked.
"oh yeah? do you remember the first promise you made?" you grinned.
❀ eight — accidents
in the sweltering heat of the sun, slippers warm from the heat, slapping against the tarmac in your little cul-de-sac, you chased him. the humidity of summer enveloping you, you wipe the sheen of sweat off your forehead, panting to catch your breath, "i give up, you win issei!"
he beamed in response, so obnoxious yet so pure, you couldn't help the little smile that graced your lips too.
"that means you have to try it! ride the bike side to side, it'll go faster!"
"side to side?" you asked, a little unsure of what he meant, getting on your little bicycle.
"yeah! it'll work, trust me," he boasted, "i saw it on tv!"
"promise?" you asked, fingers gripping a little tighter on the worn rubber handles of your bike.
"promise!" eight-year-old issei said in excitement before riding off ahead of you.
"side to side," you mumble under your breath, before pedaling up the slope, fast, your younger self blissfully ignorant of the burn in your calves and thighs, you steer your bike towards the left, then the right, then the left, and again and again. somehow convincing yourself that it was working, you gave him a thumbs-up as he looked back towards you, "catch up slowpoke!"
"i will!" you huffed at him, provoked, speeding up, as the gears of the bike started whirring louder, the wind whistling in your ear. you reach a hard corner and issei is still way ahead of you, one harsh turn tips the scales in the equilibrium of gravity as you crash and collide onto the ground.
"yn!" issei shouts, turning back and pedaling towards you.
you sniffled a little, rubbing the bloody gash on your knees, hands now a little grimy and stained from the tarmac, the rough road scraping your arms and knees, blood running along your elbows.
"you promised it would work!" you frown at him, as he leaned towards you, poking your bruise in curiosity, "OW!"
"i'm sorry y/n! they said it on tv!" he said panicked, scratching his head, before pushing you back to his house as you sat on his bike. his mom horrified at the wound, patching you up and forcing her son to apologise to you again.
"okay that's a little unfair, i was 8!" he crossed his arms.
"okay fine. ah! what about that one time!" your eyes lit up as you recalled the memory.
❀ sixteen — sneaking out
"issei," you squeezed his forearm, "we'll be fine right?"
"relax, i've done this before, we'll be fine." he assured, a playful glint in his eye. "i promise, don’t you trust me?" he inched down towards you as you nodded.
and so the both of you snuck past the napping guard, the small rusty back gate creaking as he gently pried it open, grabbing onto your wrist and dragging you along behind him, navigating the overgrown path.
giggling, you clutched onto your bags and each other as you ran, in the sports shoes you changed into just for this, in the humid summer heat, uniforms clinging onto the layer of sweat on your skin, palms sweaty against each others, a burning ache in your calves and thighs as you tried to keep up with him.
tapping your cards hastily, and hopping onto the first train. settling onto the seats of the semi-packed train. with the cool air of the air conditioning blowing in your face, and issei by your side, you still yourself in the moment, admiring him, his face, memorising the texture his curls, the slant in his lids, the curve of his lips, the scenery beyond the windows, imprinting it all in your mind, hoping you would never forget, only smiling when he raised a brow at you.
four stops later, you guys arrive at your destination. all the elaborate stealth just to eat at your favourite little ramen shop tucked away at the fourth stop. the both of you bursting into adrenaline-fuelled giggles as soon as you stepped onto the platform.
—
you slurped the last of your ramen, letting out a satisfying sigh. "we actually did it!" you grinned, proud. you and issei occupying two of the eight limited counter seats in the cramped little shop.
"we sure did," he smiled at you, resting a palm on your head before wiping away the layer of sweat on his forehead as you stared. "something on my face?" he teased, eyes finally meeting yours as your gazes lingered on one another, allowing yourselves the privilege to indulge. his deep-set eyes boring into yours with an emotion so raw and indescribable that even in the years you would spend apart, you would never forget them.
"aha! another broken promise, we were called into office the next day issei, and i distinctly remember you saying we would never get caught," you snickered.
"hey none of that matters now, only the promise i'll make you today," he defended, reaching across the candle-lit table for your hand.
❀ twenty-four — proposals
"yn," he reached into the pocket of his blazer with his free hand, pulling out a red, velvet box, popping it open to reveal a ring.
you let out a soft gasp, your bottom lip quivering slightly as you blink back the tears welling in your eyes.
"yn, i may have broken a lot of our promises, and i will admit i’ve been a bit of an asshole. but this time, i promise you, i will do everything in my power to be a damn near perfect partner for you, to make you the happiest spouse, to love you through thick and thin, through the good and the bad, through everything. as long as i’m with you.”
"issei…” a tear rolling down your cheek, “you promise?" you whispered.
"i promise." he nodded, thumb gently caressing your cheeks, wiping away the tear. the same grey eyes from 8 years ago boring into yours once again.
"that's what you said all those times too," you laugh.
"i guess you'll just have to trust me again, will you marry me?" he smiled.
"issei, i’ve never said no to all your dumb ideas, not when we were eight, not when we were sixteen," you paused, gaze falling to the ring in his hand then back at him as you soaked in the moment. the soft candle light illuminating his face, his eyes sparkling a little as they reflected the light, curls falling softly, the expectant look on his face as he fiddled the ring between his fingers.
"so are you marrying me or not?" he pouted a little in frustration.
"and i certainly am not saying no at twenty-four, yes, of course i'll marry you issei." the smile on his lips widen impossibly, impatiently sliding the ring onto your ring finger, as though he couldn't wait another moment longer.
"i can't believe you said yes, now you're stuck with me forever," a goofy smile playing on his lips, issei gets up, moving towards you, pulling your sitting form into a hug. "i love you so much," his leans his forehead against yours before guiding the back of your head into his chest, an arm wrapped around your shoulder.
"we still have to do a ceremony dumbass and you better not break your promise again," you warned, voice muffed into his top as he kissed the top of your head, "i won't babe."
sol’s comments ❀: wahaha self indulgence again :> that whole bicycle thing is based on a true story and im positive he meant sway side to side instead of steer side to side now that ive watched yowamushi pedal (aka now that im a pro cyclist). also me and my bff used to sneak out a lot during free sessions so the 2nd part was inspired by that hehe.
m.list ·˚ ༘ ꒱ | each and every reblop is appreciated ☻ (+ free hugs)
#sweet by sol 💗#sol’s summer collection ☀️#🌟 strawbeari specials ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･#mattsukawa fluff#matsukawa issei x reader#matsukawa imagines#matsukawa issei#matsukawa fluff#matsukawa x reader#mattsukawa x reader#mattsukawa issei#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x y/n#hq x reader#i made something! — sol ⋆·˚ ༘ *
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OKAY OKAY BANGS POTS AND PANS TOGETHER NEW DREAM ALERT NEW DREAM ALAERT
Okay I'm going to lay out my dreams one by one because . They're all strange and the picture ones are NSFW btw so yes they're at the end okay starting off
Dreams i had today:
1. One was where 3 guys 2 of which i do not remember but really liked apparently proposed to me . Yes 3 what is also weird is that for some strange reason i wrote on my hand that everybody loves me before sleeping. Why? Idk either but let's continue shall we (in my brain this is all in game show host voice and intonation btw)
2. The second one was phase 2 of my sleeping resulted in a dream about a cannibal man that started in a jail cell where he broke out from but turns out he's no cannibal, he's just a poor beautician werewolf<//3 there were references to the temperance in this one too so that's . Nice ig
3. Another dream i had . This is old but one of them was where lord Brahma called me one of his faves so true, one was where Vishnu ji was there idt that one and there was one where shivji?? Was present and he was dancing with me/being very nice which was great because i distinctly remember the night before l these seperate dreams talking about the gods . In . A way ... I won't say what way but in a way something's were said that would put me in hell self admittedly anyways they apparently like me too which is also nice
4. Now the dream i had yesterday had something to do with angels . Idk what was happening but i remember everyone being in a line and the angel approached everyone but me so i tried to fight them which . Fun . Uhm idk what was going on but fun
5. Oh now for the nightmare, something about me having an appointment at a school or smthng at 10 pm and this itself should've told me it's a dream but moving on, i was there with my parents + 2 other relatives and it was apparently a top school, this one lady greeted us and took us on a tour and it was fucking creepy and by creepy i mean CREEPY i distinctly remember a lot of things but idk how to describe them but 2 main things were there was a girl stitching or well replacing her veins with thread, and there was a big translucent orange ball that had two fetuses inside . But with grown people heads, and i started freaking out because the more I went in the more lost i got, and so i ran away in the car before turning back being like i can't leave them there. But now my parents + the other two relatives had been hypnotised i think and the woman was now headless, it was. A fight to get them back and i think i slammed her against a car multiple times but she kept re-spawning before we finally ran off
OH THIS ONES OLD BUT THIS IS GOOD OKAY SO:
6. So i had a weird dream where I think Solomon?? Was there or smn? And it was terrifying but idt I realised how scary it was till i woke up because wow wtf ok so my grandma showed up and in my dream she had faked her death (she's been gone for a few years rest in peace) and she came back and kinda told us about how she was part of a secret society or something. And then Solomon ??? Shows up? Or some demon thing idefk and at first you can just here him and there's like 8 people selected ??? And he's like I'll send all of you on a mission and whoever comes back alive will be a part of this, part of what? Idr anyways also he said we've been shortlisted out of like 20 people? Anyways so the first task also it's task based and whoever comes out alive or YK completed the most task wins and I'm guessing they live or become a part of the group or something idek. Anyways the first task was that Solomon had left someone on the water on a floatie with a key on them and it was near a floating door in the sky but the weird part is in my dream that entire water scene kept glitching anyways so after that was over till now we could just hear Solomon's voice and this time i felt him there? Or well i felt someone's presence in my dream and essentially he was running around the room at supernatural speed through the walls and stuff does that make sense like I could see red coat and tan skin + red coat + black hair (i think i thought it's Micheal Jackson in my dream for a minute idefk) as he ran like through my overhead cupboards which is weird and then he kinda became a part of my fan? So you could see a strip of red just circling my fan as it rotated and that was him apparently? And then there was something about pregnancy and he was talking and my mom told him to stfu and was on her phone and i was joining my hands and begging him not to kill her or kill me and he was like it's ok you don't need to worry chill 😋✋ anyways the next task had something to do with pregnancy don't really remmeber it and i was like I WILL NOT GET PREGNANY !!! and he started laughing (there's still 8 ppl in the room btw) anyways the next time we were like going in pairs or smthng? And he went with someone and i think i followed them and asked if i could join in their pair? And he said sure, this time he wasn't him if that makes sense like shapeshift energy dklsjdkdjf anyways we walked through the forest or something and i think it did have to do with someone getting pregnant because what I said was so out of NOWHERE . I said something like you can take my virginity or smn IDEFK ??? WHY I WOULD SAY THAT TO A SUPPOSED DEMON/DEMONOLATAR AND AGAIN THEY JUST SIMPLY LAUGHED ! and i was like damn worth a shot and then it got weird and there was a photoshoot or smn with asmodeous from obey me.
These are some of the recent ones okay I'm done NSFW ones ahead:
7.
8.
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present day, present time
and you don't seem to understand
fabled adages of science
so i was watching the snyder cut of justice league the other morning, i couldn't really begin to tell you why other than i needed 4 hours of background noise . but i tuned in at one point when the fictional super Israeli, wonder woman, narrated a scene explaining an alien technology "that was so advanced that it almost seemed like sorcery", and wouldn't yknow, that's a real concept actually, i recognized it immediately as clark's third law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
it's perhaps the most well known and oft quoted of the three, but i always felt like arthur c. clark's first 2 laws don't ever get quite enough love . i've been thinking heavily about the first law lately:
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
i've been thinking about it in relation to this one quote from wernher von braun that i always liked:
Nature does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of our spiritual existence after death.
many people are afraid of death; of ceasing the awareness of life, because they don't know what will happen to themselves after, where do they go if anywhere? it's much more nebulous in the secular sense if you haven't a construct for the afterlife already . i've been thinking about death more and more often lately to a worrying degree . however, scientific thought for all its clinical detachment from all things spiritual has strangely enough always felt like the perfect module for contemplating the metaphysical . so i decided to do some research .
i want to recall right now thomas edison's first intended use for the phonograph . edison had originally envisioned the phonograph primarily as a means of preserving the voices of loved ones after death . he later went on to try and develop a "ghost box" or "spiritphone" . this device would allow humans to communicate directly with the dead . he was unsuccessful .
if hauntology has taught us anything, we technically do have ghost boxes now, but maybe not in the way edison intended or even predicted . we carry them everywhere and can check them anytime, channeling messages through them constantly . we actively become digital ghosts, online we are both present and absent . the present implodes with the past, we've over-documented everything so now we can experience an instant nostalgia . today's future becomes archaic, we live in the archive to try and remember what the future once was .
'haunted' and 'futuristic' become one and the same .
by this token i'm reminded also by transhumanism . as the technological singularity fast approaches, as progress charges forward at a constantly increasing speed, current estimates posit the 2040s as the point in which technological improvements will occur at a constantly self-replicating rate . in the time between now and then, transhumanism and the eventual merging of human consciousness with machinery are theorized outcomes of technological progress . one day we might be able to leave the shackles of our human bodies and transcend our physical forms as a joined digital consciousness .
and in relation to this i also think now of clark's second law
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
through the wired
this is the stage on which the anime Serial Experiments Lain is set . a story, that while constructed on the patchwork of fiction, is nevertheless symbolic of certain phenomena based in reality .
also i apologize if it wasn't apparent that this post was going to be about Lain . im lainposting boys
the first few episodes exist to misdirect the viewer right from the beginning . and only by returning to these episodes having thought through the rest of the show, does their purpose become clear . the first episode, aptly titled "Layer 01: Weird" , is meant to show us exactly one thing, that lain is fucking weird . we can't tell what she's thinking, we can't tell what she's doing, and that's exactly how everyone around her feels . lain is totally and completely disconnected, she doesn't keep up with current events at school, she doesn't communicate with her family, near as we can tell she has no actual interests besides her stuffed animals and totally phasing out of reality. the inciting incident of the series happens when someone tries to make a connection with lain, and that person happens to be dead...
or at least there body is dead, their consciousness seems to have escaped into the wired . lain's decision to pursue this connection is what lead's her to ask her father for a new navi (the series' name for a personal computer) and that's all that really happens in this episode . coming back to it from later episodes we know that lain is probably thinking a lot throughout this episode . the decision to not entreat us to any of her thoughts is intentional, it is to make us feel distant from her as viewers, the same way that the world around her is distant . as lain forms connections throughout the series, so too, will we form a connection with her .
we do not know how much time has passed since then and the second episode, but whatever has happened lain has already developed a significant presence in the wired . this episode is tricky in its presentation as it doesn't make us privy to which things lain is lying about and which things she's honest about . in it we have lain talking to someone on her navi, she types sporadically in an encrypted language, and someone who looks just like her appears late one night in a night club downtown . while lain won't admit it to her classmates it's apparent at the end of the episode that it was her at the club all along . the key to understanding her actions throughout the episode is to realize she is trying to keep her existence in the wired and her existence in reality as separate entities . the realization she has by the end of the episode, which she uses to terrify a gunmen into suicide is that there is no escape from the wired, no matter where you are you are always connected .
made in the late-90s, Lain was quite ahead of its time . it predicted not only how in the early 2000s the internet would be regarded as a separate world where anonymity and personas reigned—it also predicted how the internet would eventually and inevitably overlap with the real world, once people in the real world realized that the internet is the real world . people have a tendency to see one part of themselves as their "true selves", whereas the parts they show to others are personas, they think of these things as separate when in reality a person is an amalgamation of all of their personas . lain tries to change her personas by dressing and acting differently from when she's in the wired-mode and in normal-mode, but she doesn't realize how people have been doing this way before the wired existed . her classmates are all 15 but they all pass for adults when they've dolled up and hit the club . if the characters in the show seem a bit young for their attitudes then you may not have met enough tech-savvy teenagers before . the purpose of this episode is to ultimately to prove to lain that the so-called real world and the wired are merely two layers of one reality, which couldn't be more true of the world today .
let there be light300pMTK. .
in mythology, psyche was the mortal princess who fell in love with and, eventually, married the god cupid; in religion and classical philosophy, psyche came to mean the human soul, and in the modern, literate world, it retains that meaning as the human spirit; in freudian analysis, psyche refers to the totality of the human mind: the id, ego and superego .
every meaning of psyche is distinctly human: a human princess who achieves godhood, the soul or mind of an individual . if previous episodes introduced the blurring of the real world with the wired, then episode three; "Layer 03: Psyche" is the episode that starts to blur human identity online and offline . one doesn’t even have to venture into the wired to ask what is human .
by this point we know that lain is definitely up to something . at this stage it's hard to tell what, but all we get are little glimpses into her actions . she still seems to be hiding a lot from the world around her and from the viewer in turn . ironically, lain's blank-faced silence and response to the questions of those around her it's own incrimination . when a police officer tells her to speak up (regarding the gunman's suicide) even if she had nothing to do with it, he doesn't realize she's being silent precisely because she does have something to do with it . but her deer-in-the-headlights persona gets her out of it .
the lain of the wired and the lain of reality are slowly starting to mesh into one whole . it remains difficult to interpret the physical existence of "other lain" so to speak, and the show refuses to outright show her playing that character . at the least, we do get to see lain access the wired in all its chaotic glory and she does begin to take an active interest in expanding her knowledge as she learns about and installs the "Psyche drive", a computer circuit that lain procures in hopes of it enhancing her computer's processing power . on the smaller scale, when lain applies the psyche processor to her navi, she is installing a spirit or soul, an animating element, to her machine . notably, the psyche does not replace the main processor; psyche augments the main processor, interpreting the data that flows through it . the soul is not simply the brain, it is an elevated consciousness or meta-self. by this point in the series lines become blurred and the lains begin to merge (hehe) . all of this is set against the backdrop of lain trying to decide if she should remain in the physical world or fully integrate in the wired . she hears one voice telling her that death feels amazing, and god exists in the wired, that there is nothing left for lain in this world . however, lain begins to establish a connection with her classmate alice, saying her name out loud and commiting it to memory for the first time, alice asks why her friends are not more shaken up after watching someone shoot himself in the head the previous day . it's almost as though lain is clinging to alice as an excuse to stay in the physical world out of fear for changing over . this all sets the seeds for what eventually grows throughout the series .
i want to recall the final meaning of the word “psyche". that the word also meant “butterfly,” which is how the greeks imagined the soul to appear . no doubt the symbolism of a creature that begins as one thing and transforms into another is not lost on us here .
every event serves to emphasize the existence of one's own personal reality, and as individuals from all others, we desire a place to belong . however that too is an egotistical concept . in order for there to be a mutual understanding, it is necessary to recognize here and now, like the brain synapses, we are all—in a logical yet chaotic manner—connected .
each is seperate—yet they are one . by connecting, humanity gains first awareness of its function as a seed . and by connecting a human no longer remains a mere endpoint, a "terminus", but becomes a junction to another point, having won the right to continue itself . in a sense, the ability to connect is the ability to continue . this not only applies to the connection of axial coordinates but temporal coordinates as well . therefore, at the time when a conscious, intentional connection is made, surely the dead will rise from there intended place, appearing at the time coordinate of the connection's origin .
in that moment, the realization will dawn that the time in which we inhabit our physical bodies is but the starting point of the connection, and the very meaning of possessing a physical body might be questioned .
we recognize we are connected .
serialize thyself .
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//Just woke up from a dream where I was with Rebekah, Klaus, and Elijah, and they all reunited with Kol. Then, after their teary reunion, I guess our relationship was pre-established in this dream cuz I had a ring on my left ring finger and... he noticed I was standing there and came up and gave me a super tight hug before kissing me jfhfhhshs,,
And I'm talkin bout THIS version/actor for Kol:
After that, the dream turned into a bit of a nightmare (ofc it did, my brain won't let me have one completely peaceful dream) cuz it turned into a scenario where we were trying to save a crapton of people who were dying on some like,, abandoned ship that was sinking out a bit from shore? There was a bridge/dock out to the ship that was slightly covered over with water, but looked like you could just deadass walk out to the ship.
AlSO-- I WAS PREGNANT?? And somehow it was apparently established it was Kol's??? And I guess the reason we were even apart to begin with was cuz Elijah, Rebekah, and Klaus were trying to keep me safe until we couldn't stay away I guess.
At one point, I had tried to wade out towards the dock, but the water was cursed in some way and I was losing the ability to breathe or walk even just being stomach-deep into the water. Kol rushed out and helped me to my feet before just,, picking me up bridal style and carrying me back inside to get me to rest and warm up.
Eventually, while we were resting and the others were doing a spell to investigate the villain (I guess?) behind it all, the now-revealed witch had a counterspell that made them all believe the entire situation with the cursed water, sinking boat, etc. was my doing.
So they framed me and turned Rebekah, Klaus, and Elijah (and a few others that Kol had been hiding out with before we reunited with him) against me and only one (1!!!!) person believed me when I said it wasn't me.
So me and her snuck around until we found our way through this tomb-like structure's maze (I distinctly remember pushing some random vampire back that had been following us and he got trapped after we got to the top and everything closed up behind us.) Then, me and her went looking for the villain, but I guess I was getting to panicked because I jolted awake after that :')
But HEEEYYYYY at least for part of the dream I was Kol's happy, pregnant wife.
Can't believe Kol and his family didn't believe me though... I am NOT A LIAR....... 👁 👁
And I was PREGNANT, TF WAS I GONNA DO *WHEEZE*
So basically my dreams are wild lmfao.
#mod moment#//dream journal moment#//lmfao idk what possessed me to have an entire episodic dream buy#//*but#//I will never complain about being Kol's happy pregnant wife#//sighs dreamily and wishes#//also that actor for kol mikaelson will always and forever be my favorite - you cannot change my mind 💖#//kol my beloved
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Fandom: Marvel, Iron Man
Rating: G
Characters: Tony Stark, Howard Stark, Edwin Jarvis
Summary:
“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers as quietly as he can. It is perhaps ironic, to apologize for talking too much by talking, but he does not know any other way and he needs to get this out now. Tony is sure he can remain silent all his life if Jarvis just keeps being his friend.
- When Tony is allowed to come into Howard's workshop, he is beyond ecstatic, intent on not messing this up. He does not mean to get blood on his father's workbench. He does not mean to cry. He does not mean to be a failure. Again. Luckily, Jarvis is there to pick him up.
A/N: @iron-man-bingo
The engine is heavy. It is only a part of it, of course, for Tony could not possibly carry all the parts at once. Even so, his arms tremble as he takes one careful step after the other. He might be able to put the engine down earlier if he walked faster, but too many things litter the floor. If he stumbled and fell – well, the engine is too priceless to even consider.
Tony is halfway to where his father is working on the parts that Tony has already carried over, when he needs to take a break. He needs to be quick about it but being tardy is better than clumsiness, although neither will be tolerated. Tony is six years old already, after all, he knows better.
“Where are you, boy?” Howard calls, tapping the wrench he is holding against the surface of the workbench.
Trembling or not, Tony’s arms reach automatically for his heavy load again. He cannot mess this up. The last time he was allowed in here was a disaster. It is a wonder that Howard took him in again at all.
He walks faster than he should but he reaches his father without incident. An apology is already on his lips but he hesitates. Starks do not apologize, Howard often says, although he likes to make an exception for Tony apologizing to him. It is never quite clear when Tony is expected to do what. He guesses he is still too young – or too stupid – to understand.
“What took you so long?” Howard grunts but does not pay Tony any further attention. He all but rips the part out of Tony’s hands and gets back to working.
Tony rolls back on his heels, content to watch his father build. It is fascinating to him to see what older and cleverer fingers than his can create. He hopes that, one day, he will be as good as his father. If only he would be allowed to practice.
“What next?” Tony asks after several long minutes, trying not to sound too eager. Were it up to him, he could stand here for hours, simply watching. He is used by now to soothing the itching in his hands to keep them to himself. Howard does not like laziness, though, so if Tony wants to see anything at all, he should make himself useful.
Looking up, Howard’s face takes on a distinctly irritated expression. He does not like being interrupted either. There are so many rules Tony needs to keep track of, he keeps messing up more often than not.
“Take that apart,” Howard says, pushing some complicated looking part towards him. It has Tony immediately excited, eager to find out how it works. “Not even you should be able to fuck that up.”
Nodding in agreement, Tony picks up his treasure and sits down on the ground a good few feet away. Howard’s tools are too big for him, but Howard took away the smaller ones Jarvis got him, telling Tony that work is not playtime and he should not waste time on using tools he will soon outgrow.
For a while, they work in almost harmonic silence. Every now and then, Howard mutters something under his breath or takes a sip from the bottle that is never far from his side, but he does not throw anything or has to remind Tony how to do the most basic steps of working with engines again. It is nice. Maybe things are getting better, Tony thinks, maybe he is getting better.
A sharp pain rips him out of his musings. The pleasant feeling in Tony’s chest vanishes abruptly when he looks down at his hand and sees blood welling up from a large cut. Stupid, he curses himself. He should not have gotten distracted. It turns out he is not getting better. He is just as clumsy and useless as he has always been, and likely always will be.
Tony bites his tongue as he contemplates what to do. His father gave him a task but now there is blood dripping to the floor. It hurts, too, more the longer Tony stares at the cut. He should not be a sissy but –
Before he can think it completely through, Tony’s legs are moving.
“Dad?” he tries cautiously, hoping his father will have time.
“What now? Didn’t I give you something to do?” Howard asks, barely looking up from what he is doing.
Like an offering, Tony raises his hand, holds it out between them, all the while trying to swallow the whimper rising in his throat. He realizes that he has not succeeded the moment that Howard whips up his head, lips already curled into a snarl.
Howard does not say anything at first, however, but merely stares, taking in the cut and the way Tony stands. A drop of blood falls between them, splashing on the grey surface of the table. Almost faster than Tony can see, Howard moves and slaps Tony’s injured hand away.
“Don’t make a mess,” he shouts, but Tony cannot listen.
He is cradling his hand to his stomach, his eyes burning at the aggravated pain. A sob falls from his lips but he is too far gone to care.
“It hurts, Dad,” Tony whispers. Rationally, he knows that admission will not do anything but make his father angry but all other thoughts are struck from his mind.
“Then take it like a man,” Howard says coldly. “I didn’t raise a girl.”
Tony is not old enough to be a man yet, though. He is not big or strong or tough enough, and he does not know how to make himself grow faster. Unable to stop it, Tony feels a tear run down his cheeks. He ducks his head, but he knows Howard has already seen it.
“Starks don’t cry,” Howard bellows, leaning down so that his breath whips Tony’s cheek. Alcohol burns in Tony’s nose.
More sobs come that Tony is not able to keep back. He tries to straighten, but Howard is close enough that Tony takes a step backwards. He stumbles over something and falls to the ground. All of him hurts.
“Shut up, boy,” Howard orders, and Tony wishes he could comply.
The day began so wonderfully. He thought everything would turn out well if only he could prove to his father that he could be of some help in the workshop, that he is not useless after all. Now, though, he proved Howard right all over again.
“But,” Tony says and clamps his lips shut too late. The most important rule is to never argue with Howard. He cannot even do that right.
“You’ve never had anything to cry about in your life, boy,” Howard says, coming closer until he looms over Tony, making him feel smaller than ever. “So you better stop before I give you something real to cry about.”
Immediately, all air leaves Tony’s lungs, taking all sound with it. He remembers the last time he ignored a warning like that, and the pain in Tony’s hand pales in remembrance of what happened then.
“Well, you’re not completely hopeless, at least,” Howard says with more scorn than approval, but at least he has lowered his voice. “Now get out of my sight. And I better not hear a single sound from you for the rest of the day.”
Howard barely waits until Tony frantically nods his head before he turns back to his work. With an expression of disgust, he wipes the drop of Tony’s blood away with some oil-stained rag.
Still holding onto his injured hand, Tony climbs slowly to his feet, trying to be as quiet as possible. Again he is too slow.
“What are you still doing here, boy?” Howard asks, tethering on the edge of losing his patience.
That is a tone Tony knows too well. Holding his breath as to not accidentally make a sound, he flees.
Jarvis finds him while he is trying to bandage his hand. The worry on his face is soothing in its own way, and not only because it is the clearest indicator that Howard is not around. Appearances are important, or so Jarvis has taught Tony, so they cannot behave like friends when Howard is around.
“What happened, young sir?” Jarvis asks, hurrying closer.
He takes Tony’s hand in his own, turns it to get a better look. The cut has stopped bleeding. It does not even look so bad anymore, probably does not even need stitches.
Tony wants to tell Jarvis that, but when he opens his mouth, no sound comes out. It should be all right, Howard is down in the workshop and cannot hear him, but he does not want to risk it. His father is always annoyed when Tony talks. It only occurs to Tony now that others might think the same.
His mum is not around often enough to know just how much Tony can be. Poor Jarvis, however, has to bear Tony all day long.
“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers as quietly as he can. It is perhaps ironic, to apologize for talking too much by talking, but he does not know any other way and he needs to get this out now. Tony is sure he can remain silent all his life if Jarvis just keeps being his friend.
“What for?” Jarvis asks, frowning. He is still holding gently onto Tony’s hand.
There is so much to choose from that Tony would barely know where to start even if he could speak freely. For staining his shirt, for starters. For upsetting Howard. For making more work for Jarvis. For being clumsy and needy and too loud. For being himself.
Tony shrugs but keeps looking at Jarvis, hoping that he will understand that Tony knows, he just cannot say it.
“Does your throat hurt?” Jarvis asks, full of patience. When Tony shakes his head, he adds, “Did something happen at the workshop with your father?”
Well, it happened because Tony is no good at what he was doing, because he let himself be distracted by how nice the future could be instead of concentrating on building it. Still, he nods weakly. It is not Howard’s task to make sure that Tony does not harm himself by being stupid, after all. Starks should be better than that.
“Did your father forbid you to speak?”
Tony almost shakes his head. He is not supposed to make any noise at all, but he barely knows how to do that. Every breath he takes is deafening in his own ears, every heartbeat thundering. As usual, he is already failing at the simplest of tasks. Shame burns in his cheeks, but since he is too afraid to admit that, Tony nods again.
“All right,” Jarvis sighs but does not sound angry with Tony. He never is. “Let’s clean this up and then we’ll go to your room. Nobody will hear us there, even if we dragged your mother’s piano there and let monkeys jump up and down on it.”
The picture is so hilariously impossible that a giggle escapes Tony’s lips, if only for a second until Tony remembers himself and cuts it off. Jarvis never stops smiling, though, so Tony guesses he is still safe.
Tony makes no sound while Jarvis cleans the cut first with water then antiseptic, although it hurts. He holds still when Jarvis wraps a bandage around his wrist, although he knows he should take it off again for dinner, for his father will surely see it as a sign of weakness, and Tony is trying to be better.
Then they are done and Jarvis offers Tony his hand. Together they go to hide in Tony’s room. Only when the door is safely closed behind them does Tony allow himself to breathe normally again.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Jarvis asks as they sit down on the bed next to each other.
“I messed up,” Tony admits quietly, picking at his bandage. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot sound unaffected. He ruined a good day, just like he always does.
Piece by piece, the whole story stumbles out, and while Tony tries to keep his voice low, it still echoes in his head, so he carefully watches Jarvis’ face for any sign of annoyance. It never comes. Then again, Howard never looks mad when they are in public either, even though he starts shouting the moment they return home.
Jarvis has never hurt him, though. Even at six, Tony knows that is not the most glowing of assessments. Jarvis is so much more. Tony knows a lot of words, but he has not yet found a word worthy of describing Jarvis.
“I think we should do something loud,” Jarvis says when Tony is done talking. There is no judgement in his tone for what either Tony or Howard have done. He never judges. Otherwise, Tony is sure, they would not be friends.
“But I can’t,” Tony protests, glancing nervously at the door, even though his father is down in the basement. “Dad said he doesn’t want to hear a single sound from me.”
Jarvis nods but never loses his gentle smile. “And we established that he won’t be able to hear us up here.”
Somehow, Howard always knows when Tony has done something wrong, however. Sometimes he knows even before Tony does something. It must be a superpower. Or Tony is simply bad all the time.
“I should probably practice being quiet,” Tony says, upset that he has to turn Jarvis down. He is trying so hard, though, and one day Howard will have to see that.
“Do you want to be quiet?” Jarvis counters, as if what Tony wants is really an option. He is still too young to know what is good for and expected of him, after all.
Tony shrugs. “I want Dad to stop being mad at me,” he finally says. That is not a no, but it is not quite a yes either.
“You can’t be quiet all the time, though,” Jarvis points out.
That is true. Sometimes Tony needs to solve equations for his father, sometimes Obie wants him to explain some blueprints. Sometimes the press is asking him questions and he needs to answer them the way he has been told to.
Still, Tony says, “Dad says I should.” Perhaps Howard means that Tony should only be quiet when he is around, when he is working or eating or lecturing Tony. That would make sense. Perhaps the ‘no sound’ rule is only a temporary thing. Almost excited, he remembers something else Howard told him once. “He said I should only talk when I have something important to say.”
Jarvis nods as if Tony has just solved a difficult puzzle. If there is something sad to the curve of his lips, Tony thinks he must imagine it. “Well, I think everything you say is important.”
Instinctively, Tony shrinks back, glancing at the door. He knows it is wrong to go against what Howard says, and Jarvis has just called him all but a liar. At the same time, he wants to desperately believe that Jarvis is right, wants his own words not to be insignificant, the sounds he makes not to be a bother.
“But Dad –” Tony says, out of habit. He stops willingly when Jarvis interrupts him.
“Isn’t here.” Jarvis’ face becomes almost mischievous, which is enough to intrigue Tony. “Here’s what we’re going to do.” Reaching behind himself, Jarvis picks up one of Tony’s pillows and pushes it into Tony’s arms, then gets another one for himself.
“Hold your pillow like this.” Jarvis raises it up to his head, then pressed his face into it, burying himself almost completely in it for a moment. “And then scream as loud as you can.”
Tony, who has been following Jarvis’ instructions up until that point, lets his arms and the pillow fall limply back into his lap, staring incredulously and quite a bit afraid at Jarvis.
“What if somebody hears?” he asks, wondering whether doubt will cause Jarvis to get to his feet and give up on Tony, although he has never done so before.
“They won’t. That’s what the pillow is for,” Jarvis reassures him easily. “But you will hear. It will help you find your voice again.”
That is a silly thing to say. Tony has never lost his voice after all, he has just been told to use it sparingly – or better not at all. He knows how he sounds, he knows how to speak. It would likely help more to learn how to interact with the world without talking. He does not say that, however, because Jarvis is likely trying to teach him something here, and Tony does not want to disappoint him, no matter that Jarvis’ effort is likely wasted on Tony.
Very slowly, he raises the pillow back up. It is uncomfortable to press his face against it so hard, but he does not want to risk too much sound escaping. Once he is sure the pillow is secure, when he can barely breathe anymore, Tony screams. It ends up more of a drawn out syllable, slightly above speaking volume.
“Like this?” Tony asks, both eager to be done with this and to have done well. He does not feel like he has found his voice again yet.
“Almost,” Jarvis says. “Just a bit louder. Let me show you.”
And then Jarvis, impeccable, always collected Jarvis, takes a deep breath and buries his face in his pillow and screams into it, loud enough that Tony feels the trembles of his body right to his own core. So loud that Tony looks at the door again, fearing that Howard will storm through it any moment now.
Then again, for how forceful Jarvis must have screamed, it was not very loud at all. With as small a body as Tony has, he cannot possibly be as loud as Jarvis, so it should be all right, even if he poured all his strength into it.
Once Jarvis emerges from the pillow, looking strangely satisfied, Tony is eager to try again. Without further ado, he presses his face back against the pillow. It takes only a little bit courage to open his mouth this time and just scream.
His whole body loosens into the movement, leaning forward, following the sound. He comes up too quickly, needing air, but then he remembers Jarvis taking a deep breath before he screamed, and tries again. This time, he is even louder and the scream lasts longer.
It feels good, weirdly so. He is doing something forbidden and gives it his best. He is letting go, just like that.
This time when he takes down the pillow, Tony is smiling widely, feeling only happier when Jarvis smiles back.
“Very good,” he congratulates, and Tony can only nod in agreement. “And now we’re going to go down to the kitchen and you will tell me something about everything you see.”
Just like that, tension creeps back in as Tony’s smile slides off slowly. Screaming up in the safety of his own room is one thing, but openly defying Howard’s order out in the open is another altogether. Anyone could be walking in on them. Howard usually does not come into the kitchen, but he has the habit of not doing what Tony expects – not when he is hoping for the best at least. They should not risk it.
“Why?” Tony asks. Jarvis only wants what is best for him, after all, so he will have his reasons.
Jarvis shifts his position until they face each other and Tony cannot easily look away. “Because you have a bright mind, Master Tony, and you deserve to be heard, even if Sir isn’t ready to listen,” Jarvis says like there is no doubt in his mind, like Tony does not disappoint everybody he meets. “One day he will be ready, and I don’t want you to forget how to make yourself heard by then.”
Tony does not know what to say to that, whether to call Jarvis out on lying to make Tony feel better about himself, or to simply nod and accept it like he does when Howard talks. Howard does not usually have anything nice to say about Tony, of course.
Looking down at the pillow in his lap, Tony makes a decision. Jarvis has never failed him before, so it would be madness not to trust him. So Tony nods his acquiescence, but asks, “Can I scream into my pillow again before we go?”
When Jarvis’ face brightens, Tony knows he has done the right thing. “As often as you need to,” Jarvis says, sounding proud. Then he raises his own pillow. “Together?”
And together they shout Howard’s words away.
#Iron Man Bingo 2019#fanfiction#marvel#tony stark#jarvis#kid tony#family#child neglect#howard stark's a+ parenting#my writing#crying and screaming
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Prompt: Andrew finds out that Steven likes men with beards so he decides to grow one. Although he does learn that Steven loves him regardless, Steven still is quite into beard burn and he won't say no to Andrew growing his stubble/beard (Not necessarily NSFW, kinda up to you on the frontier).
Title: Growing on Me
(ao3 link for those who prefer: here)
Andrew’s trying his best to focus on this video he’s supposed to be editing but it’s hard to when his boyfriend is literally sitting across him, laughing his sweet ass off. Steven and Jen are going through a bunch of BuzzFeed quizzes just for the fun of it and they are having an absolute blast.
After a few more failed attempts at concentrating on the task at hand, Andrew decides to stop here for now. He yanks his headphones off and just when he does that, he hears Steven commenting on one of the options in the quiz.
“…definitely the bearded guy. Men with beards are HOT!” That’s information Andrew definitely needed to hear.
Andrew walks around the desk to cross over to where Jen and Steven are sat. As he approaches, Jen looks up from the screen to greet him, Steven is still too consumed by the questions laid in front of him.
“What’s this?” Andrew asks, intrigued. He rests a hand on the table and leans forward, trying to read what’s being displayed.
“Pick your favorite looks and we’ll tell you who’s your true soulmate,” Steven reads right off the screen. “I wonder who I’ll get…” Steven must see something in Andrew’s face that isn’t there as he immediately starts backtracking. “I mean y-you-… you! …you are the one for me, of course! I just- this is just- The quiz mean nothing, Drew!”
Andrew cackles loudly, causing a few heads to turn. He honestly can’t believe what just happened, they should’ve been filming it.
“I’m not mad, don’t worry.” And Steven breathes a huge sigh of relief, Jen is clearly amused by this exchange as she’s giggling away. Andrew gestures at the laptop. “Keep going, I’m curious too.”
After several minutes of in-depth pondering, Steven finally reaches the last question and…
“OH MY GOD!” Steven jumps out of his chair, and is stumbling over the wires running across the floor. Jen is screaming like a crazed sports fan whose team just won. The entire office is looking over at them but only for a brief moment, these kinds of outbursts are more than common around here.
Andrew reaches out and turns the laptop to face him so that he can get a better look at the result. It reads…
You got: Andrew Ilnyckyj! BuzzFeed’s very own ‘creepy’ guy. Don’t let that cool, stoic exterior fool you, he is secretly a lovable goofball. A man of many talents, Andrew is more than capable of whipping up a scrumptious dinner for you, and can even charm your socks off with his wide history and geography knowledge. Plus, he loves animals too! Who said the perfect guy doesn’t exists?
That little snippet put a hot blush on Andrew’s face. He doesn’t even think he’s that much of a catch, much less being ‘the perfect guy’. Steven appears to disagree as he pulls Andrew in for a kiss, hands wrapping around his waist.
“So does the quiz still mean nothing?” Andrew asks when they part. Steven’s grip on his waist tightens, and he brings his face in closer. Their breaths mingle as Steven replies in a low voice.
“Yes. I don’t need a dumb quiz to tell me anything.”
—
So that soulmate quiz thing may actually be accurate but… Andrew’s not taking his chances. It took him so long to finally get into a relationship with Steven, he’s going to do everything in his power to see it through. Even if said ‘everything’ is going to get uncomfortable for him.
Andrew has scratched at his jaw over twenty times for the last few minutes, so it’s no surprise that it caught his boyfriend’s attention.
“Beard problems?” Steven asks the next time he sees Andrew scratching away. Andrew stops mid-scratch, he smiles, hoping to make it look like less of a problem than it actually is.
“No, just…” He then continues scratching when he can’t stand the itch. “…really itchy”
“Why don’t you shave it off then?” Steven suggests nonchalantly, taking another bite of his pizza. Andrew feels his heart sink, if Steven is suggesting that… Does he think Andrew can’t handle a little prickling? Granted, what he has on his face is more stubble than beard, and he already has this much difficulty living with it. Maybe he should just- No. Andrew shakes his head, he’s not giving up.
“N-no, it’s fine. Just needs some time to get used to it, that’s all.” Andrew replies, aggressively rubbing the side of his face in hopes of ending the irritation.
“Oh-kay…” is all Steven says, continuing with consuming his lunch.
Damn the itchiness, Andrew’s just gonna have to grin and bear with it. He’s going to make Steven swoon so hard with his beard, and no amount of irritation is going to stop him.
Andrew picks up another slice, focusing on the chewing and the swallowing and the flavor, and pushing any thoughts of his facial hair to the back of his mind.
—
It’s been two whole weeks since Andrew has seen his boyfriend, and he wants to make Steven’s six-hour flight from New York completely worth the time. Andrew went ahead and tracked down the very quiz that Steven took to find that specific image of that bearded man. It took hours of preparation but Andrew thinks he has the look nailed down.
Andrew watches as waves of people pass him, he checks the time. Steven should be out by now. Just as he thinks this, Steven steps out of the arrival hall looking all around like a lost child searching for their parent at a mall. Andrew chuckles to himself and walks over to the bewildered man who is still looking the wrong direction.
“Hey kiddo, are you lost?” Andrew puts on a comically deep voice and a playfully concerned face. Steven spins around immediately, not yet recognizing his own boyfriend standing in front of him.
“No sir, I-… Andrew?!” His eyebrows rise up so high that they almost disappear into his white cap. Steven’s checking him out up and down, and Andrew is feeling just a little self-conscious to have that kind of attention on him, in public no less. “Is this your Halloween costume? Are you going as Adam?”
“What? No…” Andrew looks down at his clothing, which Steven is now thoroughly inspecting and oh god. He has a red and blue plaid shirt on, black skinny pants and with the beard… it’s the holy trinity of the iconic Bianchi look. All he’s missing is the glasses, which he fortunately doesn’t need. “I just… I heard that you’re really into guys with beards so…”
Steven laughs at that and it’s the most cute, innocent laughter Andrew has ever heard. Steven’s bent at the waist and doubled over, shaking with mirth. When he finally regains his composure, they are tears in his eyes that he has to wipe away. Andrew doesn’t understand what’s so funny.
“Oh my god, Drew! I wasn’t trying to hint at you or anything!” There’s a little tingle that runs down Andrew’s spine, like always when Steven calls him by that nickname. It’s sorta distracting him from the moment.
“I… I didn’t think you were, just thought that maybe I should take a little initiative…?” Andrew shrugs, unsure of how to explain his thought process.
“Even so, I don’t think Adam is a good look on you.” He frowns and yeah, Andrew already has thoughts to rework his style. Still, he feels it’s important to explain his intention here.
“I just want to make you happy,” Andrew kinda mumbles, not moving his lips as much as he should, as if he’s ashamed to admit it. He stares down at the floor like a shy high-schooler asking someone out to prom.
When he finally gathers enough courage to sneak a look at Steven… he is looking at Andrew like he’s the biggest dummy on the planet. He takes a step towards Andrew and brings a hand up to cup his face, soft fingers gently stroking his beard.
“And you do. I love you, Andrew… beard or no beard, it doesn’t matter.” Steven’s smiling at him with the intensity of a thousand suns, and the warmth bursting through Andrew’s heart matches it in magnitude. It’s sappy but true.
“I know. I love you too.” Andrew closes the distance between their lips, and maybe it’s from missing him so much but Steven’s lips taste way sweeter than Andrew ever remembered. Even over the hubbub of the airport, Andrew can distinctly hear the tiny noise of satisfaction coming from Steven. When they pull away, it’s Steven’s turn to look embarrassed.
“You know what? I actually really like it, it’s really rough but…” Steven leans way in, bringing his lips next to Andrew’s ear, the hot breath almost making him shiver. “…that kinda turns me on.”
Before Andrew can formulate any sort of response, Steven’s walking off with the baggage cart. What a tease. Andrew catch up to him with double-wide strides, returning to normal once he’s side-by-side with his man again.
“I didn’t really like it at first either but it’s growing on me.” Andrew pauses for dramatic effect, Steven is already preemptively rolling his eyes because he knows where this is going. “Literally!”
Andrew’s pointing finger guns at a very done Steven, he even pretends to fire a few shots. The taller man lifts one hand off the handle of the cart to slap him on the arm, but he’s chuckling at the pun regardless.
“Not your best work. I give it an 8.”
“Out of 10? That’s a pretty good score.” Andrew wrestles for control of the cart away from Steven, who initially resists but gives up to yawn.
“No, out of a 100. You’re failing miserably.” That’s what he claims but Andrew knows better. The fondness that’s on full display on Steven’s face tells him all he needed to know: he succeeded perfectly.
Closing notes:
Some of you may notice that I actually teased the title in the last prompt fic.
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