#i wish i could say im over it but i think about him and i just start sobbing in my room
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♡𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 ! 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞
Warnings - Smut! Sex, Drunk Sex (it's consensual), Intoxication of course, Reader is described as Fem bodied! cursing, protected sex! WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT!, Gojo and Geto are still best friends in this. I DIDN'T REREAD IT SO IF THERE'S MISTAKES IM SORRY.
𝗜𝗙 𝗜 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗗 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘!
Gojo was drunk. Yes he was drunk causing geto to have to take him back home to you. When you heard a knock on the door of your home at 11 pm you were just simply laying in your bedroom waiting for gojo to get back home.
You got up and made your way down stairs to open the door, and when you did there was your boyfriend drunk with his best friend standing beside him. Geto simply looked at you and gave you a polite smile before speaking.
"Here's your boyfriend back. He's been talking about you the whole night."
Geto would say before leaving gojo there with you after wishing you a good night. You shut the door back after bringing gojo inside. Before you could even turn around again gojo was all over you.
He would be kissing your neck and trying to pull down the satin nightshirt that you had lazily put on with no bra under. It was already half way pulled down until you swatted gojo's hand away as you crossed your arms.
"Honey."
You would say as you looked at him. He knew that look, it was the look that you gave him when you didn't like something that he did. He gave a small frown as he looked at you as he put his hands up in surrender.
"But I didn't even do anything. Yet."
Gojo would mumble as a smirk rose on his lips. You could hear how drunk he was by his slow speaking and his slightly slurred words. His blind fold was off too and it was lazily handing around his neck.
He then leaned his head towards your neck and started leaving sweet kisses in his path. Only stopping to suck on your neck making you moan out a little.
You don't know how it ended up this heated but you were now sat on top of Gojo as he sat with his back up against the headboard as you rode him you at a quick but sloppy pace.
All you could hear was the sloppy noises of your cunt and the sound of skin slapping together when his hips would make contact with your ass every time you would slow down.
You don't know how long you'd been bouncing on his cock but it has definitely been a while. Your legs were burning from the constant movement and you were getting sleepy to be honest. Your moans were starting to quiet down slightly and became less frequent.
"Satoru..I don't think I can keep going..."
He looked down at you with hazy eyes but he was still sober enough to understand that you were getting tired but he was so close to cumming and he knew you were too.
"I know, honey. But just a bit more. I'm about to cum anyways."
Gojo would say causing you to nod softly.
After a few more sloppy bounces on his cock both you and him ended up cumming. He lifted you up off of him and simply laid you beside him. He turned on his side to face you and pulled the blanket over the both of you before falling asleep.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk gojo#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#satorugojo#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut
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IM BACK AND I HAVE PERCIVER HEAD CANONS TO SHARE!!!
They meet in first year on the Hogwarts express. Percy's holding a giant book on third year divination. While this makes him a less attractive friend in the eyes of others', it's what brings Oliver Wood to the same train car as him. They introduce themselves and shake hands.
In second year, Oliver makes the Quidditch team as their keeper. Percy still spends the majority of his time indoors, but he goes to Ollie's practices and games every once in a while. After one specific game, Oliver comes back to the dorm with his breath cut short and with tears in his eyes. He stops breathing and the world goes spinning between each of his eyes; a panic attack, madame Pomphrey later describes it. The crowd triggered it.
Percy comforts him, sits on the same floor as him, rubbing the boy's back, repeating reassurance: "you're safe here,"
"You were good out there, really."
"I'll sit with you for as long as it takes."
Oliver comes to with his head on Percy's shoulder.
In third year, Percy goes to every practice and every game. He rubs Oliver's back when he returns to the dorm. When he loses for the first time, Percy has to chase him to stop him from running away, never to be found again.
"Hey, listen," Percy says, out of breath from the running. He doesn't understand how Oliver's barely breaking a sweat. "Tell me, okay? What went wrong out there?"
He gives Oliver a minute to pause and think.
Oliver gathers his thoughts and his breath. The sweat dripping down his neck fuels him, gives him energy. It clouds his head. He needs to calm down.
"I slipped on my broom." He says finally. "I wasn't planted on it properly."
"Good. What are you gonna do to fix it?" Percy replies, breathing better.
"I'll improve my grip."
"Good."
The two of them stand there, just breathing.
"Thanks."
In fourth year, they have the Yule Ball. Both of them are fifteen. Their year mates are out and about minging, asking each other out. The two of them stay where they are. They don't speak of the ball.
They go to the dance together, as friends of course. Percy keeps adjusting the collar to his hand-me-down dress robes. Oliver assures him that his attire is charming.
He sighs.
"If you had to wear these, I guarantee you'd understand me." Percy says. Over the summer his voice has changed. It's deeper and richer. Oliver loves it. Wishes he could taste it. Wishes these thoughts would go away. He grins and laughs Percy off.
When it's time to dance, they run away to a balcony that Percy didn't even know existed. They laugh and chat, making jokes at the dancers' expenses. Percy's had a bit to drink, (had he known the punch was alcoholic, he wouldn't have gone near it) and his face is flushed deep red.
"AND- and then when the-" he howls laughter. Oliver has to stop him from falling over himself.
Oliver thinks... He can't think at all. Suddenly. The two of them are so close together. He's got his arm around Percy's back and Percy's leaning against him, hands on Oliver's chest, still laughing. When he stops and catches his breath, though, the two of them seem to freeze. Oliver's heart skips a beat when he can physically feel Percy tensing up.
He kisses him.
Very awkwardly.
He made little action with his lips, just gently brushing his against the other boy's. The boy in question grins. Now it's Oliver's turn to flush deep red.
"ha-HA! No, wait, no, Oliver, wait."
Percy pulls Oliver back towards him by the arm. They're tangled with each other again, Oliver giving in to the urge to smile, just a bit, even after being embarrassed.
They kiss. Properly this time. It's the best thing Oliver's felt in his life. When they pull away, he whispers,
"Are you my boyfriend now?"
Percy smiles.
"Yes."
In fifth year, nightmares attack. O.W.Ls. Percy never sleeps anymore.
Oliver has to drag him away from his work table and force him onto his bed. When that bed later becomes repurposed for more studies, Oliver forces him onto his own bed. They sleep together and their dorm mates start getting suspicious.
Oliver sleeps in pajama bottoms and nothing else. Percy sleeps in a sweater and boxers. They spoon and Oliver rests his arm in front of Percy's only exit to stop him from crawling out of bed to study. Little does he know, Percy would never dare leave.
During the waking hours, Oliver drags Percy to other important places, such as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The outdoors. Interaction with other human beings. It's a tough life out here for him.
When the exams finally start approaching, they do not stop making out. It's the only thing that gets Percy's mind off things. Only because there's nothing more distracting than Oliver's mouth.
To his own surprise and nobody else's, Percy passes his O.W.Ls with flying colours. Oliver passes alright despite not studying.
In sixth year it's the same for their N.E.W.Ts.
Something changes in the relationship between Percy and the rest of the student body, especially the girls. Oliver knows he's gotten taller. And his freckles have cleared enough for his gorgeous face to be visible. His voice is still as beautiful as it was in fourth year. He's started rolling up the sleeves of his sweaters, and the halls seem to swoon rapidly when they spot his forearms. Oliver always knew that Percy could have this power over people; he'd been subject to it himself. But it annoys him. And what's even worse is that Percy doesnt seem to notice when he's being flirted with.
He gets into the habit of writing on Oliver with pens, a strange Muggle device that's actually pretty nifty. Some mornings, Oliver wakes up with markings he doesn't even remember. Percy writes on his chest a lot. Draws on his collarbone. The most repeated word is Percy's name.
Oliver looks in the mirror one day, at his shirtless body.
PROPERTY OF PERCIVAL IGNATIUS WEASLEY
It says this all over his torso.
He grins. No one's stealing Percy from him anytime soon.
They pass their N.E.W.Ts.
The Summer Before Seventh Year
France is a gorgeous place, Oliver realises. Filled with gorgeous girls, too. He's lounging at the beach when one of them asks him out. He's put on the spot and exposed, wearing nothing but his swimming shorts and sunglasses. He fumbles over his words.
"Err, I mean, no..." The girl frowns. She has gorgeous eyes. "I mean, yes, sure. Is Friday at 7 PM okay with you?"
It doesn't even occur to him that she's a Muggle.
Immediately after he's uttered these words, he regrets it. But he can't stand her up. And she's already walking away. Merlin, Percy's gonna kill him.
It's just one date and Oliver doesn't even enjoy. They don't touch each other at all; they don't even hold hands. But Oliver knows what he's done, and he knows what he has to do.
He writes a letter.
I love you. I'm sorry. I couldn't live with myself if I kept it secret.
He sends it away with his black owl.
At the Burrow, Percy receives two letters back to back on his birthday. The first is from Hogwarts, confirmation that he's this year's Head Boy. He jumps around the kitchen, all dignity forgotten, and hugs his mother with an enormous grin on his face.
The second is from Oliver.
How quickly Percy's face turns sour. Mrs Weasley asks if he's okay.
Tears sting his eyes. Outside, he tells his mother everything.
One day before the start of the school year, the Weasley's are staying at the Leakey Cauldron overnight. Percy hears pebbles being thrown at his window and goes to see who it is.
Oliver Wood. Merlin.
Percy goes downstairs, striding towards his partner. Punches him in the face and immediately feels bad, but doesn't let that stop him. His voice is somewhere between a whisper and a yell and a sob,
"How could you?"
"I'm so sorry, Percy."
"Why did you do it?"
"We didn't do anything. Didn't touch her. I remember what you wrote on me."
Percy breathes in deep.
"I wasn't talking about just your body, Oliver. I was talking about you. All of you." He exhales, trying to hold himself together.
"I wouldn't think twice about rejecting some Muggle girl for you. You think I didn't notice when the whole female population at school suddenly wanted to date me? Just because of my body? I resisted them for you, Oliver. Because I love you. Why couldn't you do that for me?"
"I don't know. I'm so, so sorry."
They decide to take a break from their relationship. When they start attending school again, their dorm mates wonder why they've stopped sleeping together.
#perciver#percy weasley#oliver wood#hp#<3#this turned very angsty indeed#wrote this from 1AM to 2AM on low battery because it needed to be written#youre welcome
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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dawg i still love aether so much bro
#blake.screaming#i wish i could say im over it but i think about him and i just start sobbing in my room
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thinking about the mlm and transmasc rep situation again and i think the thing that gets me about it is how exceedingly easy and completely inconsequential it would be for a single writer to just sprinkle in a bit of rep. like a bulk of the queer rep we already have is via random npc dialogue out in city maps or festivals or something and is not even voice acted. you literally have to change NOTHING and dont even need to pay for extra voice lines to just change a single pronoun or word in some npc's pop-up text from "girlfriend" to "boyfriend". this is not a replacement for centered, featured representation with actually memorable chararacters played by queer actors or so on, but it'd be SOMETHING and it's amazing in a sad way that we have like actually nothing right now
#my stuff#sorry this is one of the very few gw2 things i still start getting a little tilted about#they should make chul-moo gay i think.#he has kind of a Quality to him#edit: forgot my train of thought hang on#i forgot to say that part of why this would be so easy is that its how this happened in the past#sya was added to the game by a dev named teddy who im unsure if she still works at anet anymore#(im unsure if she still goes by teddy but thats what i remember her by so)#teddy herself is a trans woman and wrote in sya when she was assigned to add npcs to the new lions arch#teddy worked on a number of areas of the game over the years and she was ALSO responsible for the onscreen kasjory kiss#(and also for making raids work. which isnt lgbt but like good for her)#so it was this one dev who was trans and iirc gay? maybe? who took it upon herself to add the rep she wanted to see#which is so fantastic and i just wish like#that we could get More Of That#its possible that anet doesnt have mlm or transmasc writers atm but i feel Doubt about that#i think a lot of it has to do with games still being a 'boys space' and making mlm rep a hard sell#its sad
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.
#never got to say goodbye#i need distractions but i feel awful about it i feel horrible abt thinking abt anything other than him#i wish i believed there was something out there#some kind of afterlife anything#little me did. she believed she could fix anything with magic#whats the fucking point of believing in magic if it cant bring people back#mum wouldnt stop crying and saying the same thing in hindi over and over#and idk what it was because i never bothered to learn#i never bothered to learn about him either#was she praying?#i wish i could pray#i hate hearing her cry and ive never heard anything like that before#maybe if id wished harder when we got the call this wouldnt have happened#and ik thats irrational#but its all im thinking#sat in the garden in the rain bc i couldnt stand the noise#and called my granddad#and all i was thinking was whens it going to be him#whens it my mum or my dad#i hated them i hated both of them but the thought of anything happening to them makes me sick#i hated them so much#and her little brother is dead#and i cant help her#i cant help me#idk what im feeling anymore#i couldnt breathe earlier#if theres anything out there#i hope there is#if i see him again i'm going to scream at him for leaving me#focus on that
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Solas says I know a place and takes you to the middle of a swamp where he insults your culture, religious beliefs, and then dumps you.
#yeah im still thinking about this and its the next day#he might be telling the truth about the Vallaslin but my inquisitor did not let him remove it#I’ve played her as very proud to be dalish and believes in elven gods so it would be out of character even if solas says something else#maybe that’s what it represented then but it is not what it is now and she chooses to move forward#about the breakup … this is not the first time a man takes me on a date and dumps me 😭😭 but hey um wtf#honestly my lavellan does love him and is hurt but she has to be so many things to so many different people#there’s bigger things at stake and bigger problem to deal with at this time than whatever he's hiding or lying about#im pretty sure he was going to say something else not about the vallaslin#but his fear is dying alone becasue i saw it in the fade and yet !!!! he pushes everyone away he picks fights with everyone no matter whos#in the party he didnt come to the wicked grace game he never opens up beyond what he has seen in the fade. he is a fixed point#i wanna shake him by the shoulders and YELL WHATA RE YOU DOING you could have it all someone who loves you and a wonderf#a wonderful found family. he is kind and gentle but he is also so full of ANGER and he is so set on things being as he sees them.#Cole cant change because to Solas cole is always a spirit. the dalish are misguided and YOU Lavellan are just different YOURE special#the meaning of the vallaslin cant change because to him it represents slavery and it is in stone to him. things dont change with time they#are fixed. like things in the fade it what it was preserved. he is trying to hold on to a past that doesnt exist that has moved forward.#Solas says you cant change yourself by wishing. but i would say wishing for change is THE required prerequisite for change. a little though#a little idea a little wish that something was different better. but to#why cant you move forward Solas what the fuck are you holding onto so intesely#OKAY WHATEVER IM DONE WITH THIS ESSAY IM OVER IT ITS FINE ITS SO FINE
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The decline of Yuji's character in shibuya is so heartbreaking. He went from being a happy go lucky teen who felt a sense of moral purpose to just wanting to die. I feel like in a way it mirrors Geto's mental breakdown except Yuji was surrounded by his friends to help him keep going.
Like, I think if Geto had the support that Yuji has he wouldn't have gone down the path he did. In the same way Gojo used Geto as his moral compass in the beginning, Gojo would have been Geto's moral compass. But bc of how individualist jujutsu society is and the nature of their work, Geto didn't have anyone to lean on and the deaths of his friends and the rat race that is exorcising curses took its toll on him.
#i was thinking about a tiktok that makes me cry every time i watch it#the sound is the dog from family guy telling stewie “it's not your fault” over and over#and it's a montage of people telling Yuji it's not your fault#and there's a progression showing his character getting more and more beaten down#and the ending is of him after sukuna massacres everyone and he realizes how many people sukuna killed#he's on the ground crying and the audio is stewie crying saying#“why is it so hard? I never knew it would be so hard”#anyways im tearing up just thinking about it#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk meta#is this meta?#idk but i have so many thoughts about jjk and i wish more of my friends read it so i could rant#posts#my posts
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I wonder if by "more sutable partners" he meant Mael. He did said he would help arrange things between his brother and Elisabeth after all.
Although I doubt he would leave a good impression with his typical cocky way of saying things... But well, Ludo has never been the charismatic one, does he
#nanatsu no taizai#7ds#seven deadly sins#ludociel#elizabeth liones#i love how ludo clearly had tons of beef with ellie#but the moment mael told him about his feelings toward ellie#he immediately went 'as expected of my brother such nice taste im gonna make sure ellie gonna be head over heels for you'#even if he's homophobic (which i don't think he is no matter what people say)#if mael told him he liked guys ludo would go 'ah yes the love between men the finest love of them all'#he may be genocidal but he is also the most supportive brother you could ever wish for#my bbg fr
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So I was stuck in traffic today and I decided to give my cuz’n a call ….
#her 2yr old son answered the phone - exasperated#he just kept saying ‘where are you?’#and my cuz took the phone and said ‘your ears must have been on fire’#and im just asking is everything ok? whats going on? and thats when she tells me#a story that got me so choked up i had to pull over:#so it turns out she was out grocery shopping with her son and he insisted on carrying her reusable grocery bag#but he is only 2 and the bag is almost bigger than him and its completely full#but he insists - so my cuz sits the bag down and lets him try thinking he will give up when he sees its too heavy#and he was trying and trying but the bag hardly moved and when his mom offered to take some items out he got upset#saying he could do it. so hes on the verge of a meltdown bc the bag isnt really moving that much#and she said he just sat there next to the bag and she is watching his little mind trying to problem solve it#and all of a sudden he goes - ‘uncle odin help me!’#and my cuzn tells him im not there but he just gets louder and louder calling for me to come and help him 😢#and out of desperation she gave him her phone to pacify him - and right at that moment was when i happened to call#and as im pulled over on the side of the road and she is telling me all this i can hear him asking where am i and how long until im there#and there i was stuck on the i-4 interchange about an hour away wishing i had a flying car or sum#but i was able to calm him down and told him to let his mom carry it *this* time#and next time i would try to be there to help him#i felt so honored that *eye* was the 1st thought he had for help#i dont see them that often - maybe once every other week or so?#anyway ….. dont let anyone tell u that men dont have biological clocks too#bc its been a long time since i felt such an intense urge to be a baby daddy#gotta hurry up and find mrs right now tho - im 2 yrs away from 40#if i wait too much longer any games of catch gon be played in a nursing home - lol
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Am I nauseous because I'm hungry or because I triggered myself last night
#my stomach hurts and i need to eat but the idea of doing that is. ack#and i cant tell my parents why because id have to unpack so much spontaneously#like id have to explain i was on the internet before they let me make an account and that i didnt tell them when i was getting those dms#and how its basically ruined any neutrality i had towards sex because ill be fine and then BAM!#everyone else is 12 year old me and im an adult and im my abuser and im going to hurt them if i keep talking about this#just because it was only words doesnt mean it fucked everything up forever. i know back then i was aroace but didnt have the words#but i sincerely think id be just sex neutral if it wasnt for that fucking asshole and now i think about sex for too long and get sick#and i didnt say anything because i thought they were my friend and i dont know if they were 11 like they said they were or not either way#its just. im getting so much off my chest here i wish i could go back in time and tell myself to block after that first message#and i didnt say anything after i realized because i wasnt allowed to have social media and i didnt want to get in trouble over that part#fantasizing alone is one thing but as soon as someone else is involved theyre me and im that person on da and i hate it. i hate it i hate it#i hate it i hate it#is that a common thing. where you feel like youre the abuser in certain contexts even if youre nothing like them#whatever. i have physical therapy and then ask a prof if i can use him as a reference and then finish my application if he gets back to me#and then i can rot all i want#sky vents like amogus
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Oh wow I had no idea the website I'm using actually color codes which episodes are filler or not. Looks like I don't need to find that article then.
#all filler binge watch here i come 👀👀👀#i did kinda get the urge to start watching the bort dub tho. but i still need to watch road to sakura and then The Last first#anyway RtN was awesome and i love iruka THATS NART'S DAD 2!!!! but i kinda dont have anything else to say about it after the end lmao#i guess if anything i just wish sasori had a line or two. i really wanted to hear jyb's sasori voice again 🥺#very funny that hidan had like. one scream laugh and that was it. of course thats all the dialogue he would get lmao#im assuming the LT akatsuki are kinda morally gray in terms of the mercenary work they do instead of just outright villains#considering kakuzu and hidan AND SASORI???? were still among them#i doubt sasori's personality changed much and clearly neither did hidan or kakuzu's. but being the LT at all means they must have#i mean. deidara was very fine with the work he was doing to help and tbh seemed more work oriented too#but maybe thats what happens when hes not bickering and arguing and hating uchihas so mucj#cuz he was fine working with. and i assume taking orders from itachi???#so i guess they do have differences that keep them in a smiliar line of work while remaining the same person at their core#but not like. AS fucked up????#very interesting to think about who they are in the LT. ALSO IM NOT OVER WHAT CHARASUKE MIGHT THINK OF MERCENARY ITACHI!!!#like. is he secretly worried about itachi's line of work???? did itachi have a falling out wit#*with their parents and left home to eventually become a mercenary??? is charasuke mad at him???#IS THE FUCKBOY PERSONALITY A COVER UP FOR HIS PROBLEMS WITH HIS POTENTIALLY STRESSFUL HOME LIFE DUE TO ITACHI'S LIFE????#I HAVE NEVER CARED ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN I POSSIBKY COULD IN THIS MOMENT RIGHY NOE#FINALLY A VERSION OF THEM I CAN GIVE A SHIT ABIUT AND NOT JUST RELENTLESSLY HATE ITACHI FOR!!!!!#AND WE GOT FUCKING NOTHING FOR IT!!!!!!! FUCK#personal
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#personal#my mom told me yesterday my brothers paying to have my door replaced today or tomorrow bc he misses me and thinks is affecting our#relationship badly#and she wasn’t supposed to tell me but i’m glad she did cause like#she tried saying she’s getting it replaced immediately grilled her on where the fuck she got that money since i know we have more important#issues and she IMMEDIATELY snitched#anyway i feel complicated. thank you for the door. that you already said you would do. what was the point of all of this#and i’m re reading the messsges maybe i was too mean but also 8 months no door and everyone being mean to me about it#he told my mom he misses me and she said how sweet it was to hear that and i should consider just. letting this go#and she doesn’t want to minimize the door or what it represents beyond just the door#but didn’t really get it when i was like it matters if he’s doing this bc he misses me or bc he thinks he did anything wrong#like he can do both but. i just want to know he’s not thinking i’m some brat for asking for something? normal? or that this won’t happen#again cause this always happens.#she was like isn’t it more romantic that he misses you so much he doesn’t care if he’s right or wrong? girl what the fuck are you on#anyway i feel weird bc like. it’s nice but i didn’t need him to shell this out#and i feel oddly like a brat to get this expressed done from when i said im upset with him#like 20 days later but feels fast. and i wish he could have reached out and talked to me#but also i’ve been so angry and resentful i don’t know if i’d want to talk especially if it’s just the same convo over and over#i don’t need grand gestures i just wish this stuff wouldn’t happen in the first place#and i’m worried that after the door my mom will get upset if i’m still upset with my brother after#and i’m not sure how he thinks we’re gonna get back to talking if i can’t acknowledge he got the door.#like can’t be like hey thanks! also we need to talk about how you use money instead of ur words.#like in this case i genuinely really needed the door but also it’s just hard to be like hey you did this thing that was unacceptable#also thanks for the full tank of gas dinner and 100 bucks. unprompted. anyway it’s unacceptable-#like it sounds stupid right? anyway i don’t know if he’ll tell me or just try to slide back into talking without ever talking about it#i don’t know and i feel like an asshole no matter what route i go#but will say funny i hid that he broke it from him and he’s hiding that he’s fixing it for me something something#i just feel weird about it. i miss him but also don’t miss getting shit from him or the other one lately i’m just#honestly doing my own thing and just getting through the day or enjoying it too much to think about him sometimes#but i do miss him and i don’t want to be constantly fighting or arguing with my family. it’s not a nice feeling.
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Thinking about how the official White Fang uniform is red, white, and black, but Yang is the one to help Blake end racism 🙃🙃🙃
#rwde#first i wanna know who actually makes these clothes. are they tailored for every fang or mass produced?#where are yall getting the resources? why do yall even need a uniform? wouldn't a logo bandana or smth suffice?#id love a pair of white fang socks ngl#but anyway gr8 to see that the color show is following up on its color symbolisms and foreshadowings#love that yang literally never gives a shit abt the plight of the faunus even when shes iN lOvE w one#and that she only knows adams name from a news reel but acts like she knows all his dirty laundry the one time they actually talk#and she doesnt even say smth like 'fuck you for taking my arm what the shit was that abt??'#like id personally like to know why some random jackass decided that i should lose 10 lbs in 10 seconds but whatever#you do you Yang#but straight up i dont think ruby even knows abt adams existence#blake mentions him by name at mt glenn but ruby was on watch and not part of the conversation#only yang saw the news abt adam being at beacon#and only blake sun and yang ever fight the guy#RUBY CANONICALLY DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ADAM TAURUS#man it sure would be a bummer if in an au adam and ruby had met in mistral and hit it off and ruby accidentally helped deradicalize adam#and neither of them know exactly how closely entwined their mutual people are so when the others find out all hell breaks loose#god i wish i could work on ohar but my trilogy has already expanded into 5 installments#plus the essay im currently dying over#guys i need an intervention send help lol
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man I've been trying to latch onto the story beats for KOTET but mostly failing; and I think it's because Eight's whole deal with it only worked for KOTFE. would he beat Valkorion's ass for trying to hijack his and Jadus' bond? absolutely. would he be there for the Vaylin stuff? not... so much.
The way he sees it, he's repaying a life debt to Lana (since Koth pretty much opted out of it by taking the Gravestone as his reward) that is equal in worth to Arcann's death. Once that happens, he's out. And he hasn't enjoyed this whole stint one bit either; in fact, I can say he's even more miserable than he was under the Castellan Restraints. At least there he was thrilled by it and motivated by his own purposes. Here, he feels trapped. Alone.
You could say he has a choice to walk away, but at this point he's too mired in the war and it's...well, he takes burdens. He has that code to always repay what he owes even if he hates it. Lana doesn't realize it either-- or she only noticed one time via that letter, but didn't do much about it because what she asks him to do is so tied to what she doesn't give a second thought about: it's necessary. She thinks he has a personal stake in this and projects her own frustrations at the state of the world onto him because she doesn't know. And perhaps, that means.... she doesn't know him, either.
Their relationship was basically the same before too, only this time it's tipped drastically in her favor because he no longer has that choice to disobey. He could've had worse masters, but Lana's pragmatism and way of pointing him at what needs to be done (killed) has been horrible thus far. Even Jadus/Acina were both more receptive and open to him and while Lana does in essence, care, she does not hesitate and doesn't question her motives or the one she's shouldering these tasks to.
It's mostly the BuyowareTM effect of mission-ordained bestie and the plot railing, but it also does feel like... she doesn't realize how satisfied she is when he's finally following her orders after a long, long time of him openly resisting and making no effort to respect her chain of command, which was like a subconscious reaction on his part each time he sassed her because he didn't want to be under her thumb. Then when he agrees and does what she asks, she's more than pleased, happy even.
Yet from Eight's pov, it does something to him each time where he sinks even further into being that unfeeling weapon who no longer wants to think.
Would she be mortified if she knew how miserable he was having her as a taskmaster? Most likely. She's just doing what she thinks is best for the people she knows and her galaxy-- but it's her unawareness of this, her extreme pragmatism and eagerness to use him to the best of her ability that shifts their power dynamic to something less benevolent. Even under the kindest of Sith who treats him as a friend, he suffers because of his nature as a weapon to be used by her and her iron-clad ideals.
It's also a detriment on his part where Eight makes no effort to sway other people or change them because he believes in witnessing their true selves without his interference, and when Lana admitted she only saved him so he could save them, she sealed her fate and his. In that way, he tends to enable the worst in others around him because he lets them go unchecked, convinced it's who they are at their core. It's made worse by Eight honoring his debt to Lana, as he can only follow what she wishes and not completely override her decisions as he did before in SoR.
You could also say Theron helped to balance that out but as he's taken a backseat this time, it's also become damaging to him to watch Eight lopsidedly defer to a much colder side that clashes with Theron's way of doing things. So much so he's started "other"-ing him and blaming it on heartless Imps. That's another reason why every time Eight gets separated from them, he briefly considers using the opportunity to run away, but of course, he never does. Using Dromund Kaas' assassination attempt as a cover for his death was so tempting, and how bad does it have to be if you want to fake your death to your friends of all things?
I feel like this is all going to reach an untenable point somewhere as it has to, I'm just unsure as to what form it'll take given the unpredictable nature of the current story to either provide me with all the story revelations or nothing at all.
The current idea i'm entertaining is that Theron puts the pieces together of Eight's downturn into extreme coldness and avoidance of them, an overhead discussion involving Koth once again arguing with Lana over her treatment of him (i.e. that one letter), and then the final subplot where he is given the extra mission during the Traitor Arc to not only destroy the Gravestone but take away their other weapon, Eight himself, by convincing him to leave the Alliance-- only that isn't a ploy from Theron because he catches onto just how bad this is for his former friend and ends up helping Eight "get out".
That's probably too messy of a story to write, but we'll see-- but also because the Traitor Arc would hit much differently if Lana simply sic'ed Eight on Theron like she did on Arcann and Senya and Vaylin to some essence. For one, he might end up dead. And nobody likes a dead Theron. Two, Eight really is the Alliance's other weapon, and much less of a personality as the game makes out the Commander/Outlander to be. Vinn Atrius might have noticed by then who that white-haired attack dog is who keeps entering the battlefield and killing their top contenders: another one of the Alliance's trump cards. He and the Gravestone have been synonymous in their effectiveness and use from the beginning, so it's only natural they'd want to take him out of the picture.
Lastly, I just really want these two to reconcile. It kind of broke my heart that Theron used to find common ground with him and now doesn't see him at all, and I also thought the idea of a little bit of truth being behind him being a traitor was spicy if... the Outlander was one who was more burdened by the Alliance than protected or saved by it. The idea of taking down everything you've built thus far because it's hurting the person who made it all possible... it's sweet, isn't it? It's the kind of thing the last spy with a heart would do. Maybe that's ooc. But I do like the idea of exploring just how far all of them are willing to use weapons who may even be their own friends just to get ahead in this damn galaxy, and course-correcting from that when you realize you'll never stop having another Arcann or Vaylin, with too many Senyas and Master Surros in between.
This has to end somewhere, but mostly I just want the Rishi trio to come to terms with the way they are now :'I.
#swtor#oc: orradiz#kotfe/et au#accidental long winded ramble about eight's relationship with lana and theron in these times#but also. imagining theron going 'it's over. be free' and Eight silently staring at him in that unreadable way#then taking his smiling proffered hand#which theron thinks is going to be a handshake but instead he just holds his hand very delicately#and then kisses his knuckles.#he fucking explodes into confused bisexual panic ofc but eight just smiles genuinely at him and says thank you#eight follows up with ask me to fight for you any time and theron scoffs after what he just saw with lana#like 'im flattered but I won't. ever. you've done that enough.'#hueghh anyways this is just me wishing eight could be seenTM#esp since this side of him was the one his Nine self never wanted to show theron out of fear he wouldn't understand or accept him#so this is a bit cathartic LOL#anyways. this probs makes zero sense#and just so you know this isn't bashing lana she's not evil for doing this#she just has no idea what it meant to choose Eight of all people to be her champion#I think it would be a good wakeup call for her though#to go 'I never realized...I didn't mean to-' ' he says it wasn't your fault.' ' but it was Theron! all of it!'#I think it might help finally rectify the same reasons she used theron as bait albeit more drastically#10 years to crack that one though...wow#i also want them to make up. but it won't be done if neither of them do anything about it :'o#also also also this is the negative consequence of the concern lana might use an imp underling but NORMALLY most would have told her#since she wasn't informed here the worst played out
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Lol I HATE my sisters boyfriend
#guess who almost said the R word at a stupid video game#and then he defended AND got butt hurt over me ‘preaching’ about it#now I’m sitting here having to finish the game with him#i fucking hate him he ruins everything by being his stupid way#i wish the purge was real I wanna kill him the rest of his stupid family and runaway to take care of his niece#i just#fuck#he seems to have a talent for making me miserable#i told him the R slur isn’t like bitch or c-nt#does he care?#no because an emotionless monster who should be fuckin put down#fine don’t wanna fix yourself I’m therapy? let me drown you.#i wish he could read my mind to know how disgusting and worthless I think he is#if I d-xx myself can one of y’all stab him for me?#i seriously fucking just hate him he has zero compassion#he’s such a fucking idiot he thinks he’s so smart cus he’s emotionless#i wish I could hit him with a pot I swear I’m so seething mad right now#IM TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE SAY THE RSLUR#i hope anyone who says it today gets a sharp pain in their chest that lasts hours#I’m so disgusted rn that word literally makes me physically I’ll#ill *#he’s now pulling a brat routine where he’s just playing in silence#YOU hurt other people and you’re punishing US for it???????#I’m gonna be off and on tonight I dunno
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