#i was too busy making coffee
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i may not be able to open posts from my notes or messages or get more context on posts via looking at the notes, but at least i can make fucked up coffee properly now
#toy txt post#while i was away i began my journey into coffee snobbery. im doing my best. i have a lot to learn#i have a fancy hand grinder that all the ppl on reddit hemmedvand hawed andaid it would probably be somewhat#Acceptable for pour over coffee that I got for less than $100. i want you to understand the coffee grinder ppl are insane.#there are grinders for sale that cost like more than my car did brand new. these ppl are insane? i got a chemex pour over#and a glass stovetop gooseneck kettle cos i couldnt find an electric kettle that didnt have the metal touching the water. prolly cos it#would make them less energy efficient and defeat the purpose but i dont fuck w metal water vessels cos historically They Keep Betraying Me#by making my drinks taste like ass. i got some genetic fuckery going on ig. like the cilantro soap gene but its the metal makes water taste#like ass gene? idk. but i wanted a kettle that didnt have metal and i wanted that gooseneck pour so i found one on Amazon. surprisingly#hard to find? annoying. mostly bc every search engine is bad and kept showing me metal kettles anyway. i got a grinder i got a pour over i#got a kettle i got fancy beans from a local small business i started drinking it black. im going to unlock these flavors. i will get it#but also. im still a goblin. i put garlic powder in with the grounds and made garlic coffee. its interesting. it tastes like garlic. and#coffee. but actually the garlic is mostly an aftertaste?#so it feels very similar to drinking a cup of black coffee to accompany your garlic bread actually. the first time i made it i think it#underextracted the coffee tho. second time i extracted the coffee enough but i didnt like it as much? both times. fascinatingly#i did not get strong aromas! which was weird: i find both garlic and coffee have pretty strong scents already#i wouldve thought combining them would make it stronger? it was a little stronger while brewing the second time but smelled good to me#i find the flavor of it compelling enough that id like to try to refine it a bit more and see if i can make it good#ive come a long way since my first garlic coffee haha#(adding garlic salt to black coffee out of a keurig. dont reccomend this: garlic salt has too much salt and it overpowers everything.#could not get a garlic flavor without overpowering salt flavors. so it mostly tasted like seawater with a hint of coffee. garlic powder is#the way to go. anyway next i want to try it with a lighter roast. i was using medium roast#of a local brand that i would name for exposure but wont name lest it doxxes me haha#also want to try egg coffee sometimes? the vietnamese one. looks..intriguing. robusta beans scare me a little tho#anyway. if youre interested in interesting flavors i recc garlic coffee. it was intriguing. if i find a methodology i think tastes best#ill update yall#im also interested in other things. i want to experiment with spicy coffee. chili powder or cayenne#make the paprika dracula coffee haha#im also admittedly intrigued by butter coffee? as a flavor profile tho not for fad diet reasons.
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I KEEP READING THE WORD COFFEE AND FREAKING OUT LIKE OOOOMMGGHGGGG IT’S THE SCRUMPLED SCRIMBLIFUL GUY EVER 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE YESTERDAY I SAW SOMEONE IN A ROBLOX SERVER WITH THE DISPLAY NAME COFFEE AND MY HEART, MIND AND SOUL LEFT MY BODY 😭😭😭😭😭😭 AND RIGHT AS I OVERCAME THE SHOCK I STARTED THINKGIBGG “hhhhhmmmmm coffee is such a good name,,,,,,what if i had a name related to it or something” AND THEN LITERALLY THAT SAME DAY I WAS LIKE “hhhhhmmmmm what if i my homescreen walllpaper to drawingsg of him,,,,,,and i arranged all my apps like picture frames around them,,,,,,and he’s like trapped in my phone <3” AND I’VE STILL BEEN THINKIJNG ABOUT ALL THAT SINCE THEN GHSHNGNNGNGNNGNNGNGN HEBHRHRHRLGLPHPPPP MEMMFBEEEEE I’M BEIJGNG TAKEN OVER BY THE AUITISMM COFFGDEE ISNSBBTT EVEVNBG A WORIDGG TO MNE ANYMOROORE I’MM GOIGNBG IJNSADFE
#crow’s chaotic coffee cawing#the ONLY thing stopping me from ultimate autism levels is the sleepy tires#like i can’t even think of a good coffee related nickname cause brain so sleeplyky#and i’m too sleepy for big homescreen redecorating#also school is getting so busy#which makes me sleepier tirerer#HHHHHMMMM U KNOW WHAT KIND OF BEVERAGE IIIIIII NEED?!!?!?!?!?!?!
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THANK YOU HSR FOR PUTTING VIGNETTES IN A CUP IN THE CONVENTIONAL MEMOIR I LOVE YOU
#IT'S SO COZY#IT MAKES ME MISS COFFEE TALK AND VA11HALLA SO MUCH BUT IM TOO BUSY PLAYING OTHER GAMES SFGKFDGJJ#i have a flight soon so i think i'll play them on the plane i miss em so bad#bartender caelus following after barista aether i love them very much#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr vignettes in a cup
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I have my first actual real therapy session w this lady today and I am so ✨️anxious✨️
#would be having anxiety At Someone typically but#but ppl are busy at work and/or i haven't talked to them today#(and if i send an anxiety text that gets no response because they too are busy i think i will surely die)#plus also it is literally Just Therapy but i did also promise myself i wouldnt stonewall this one#which makes it So Much Scarier believe it or not#agh she's nice and has picked up on some stuff already#and we have a good progress plan that seems achievable#but god fuck shit what if i say something and she's just like 'you're beyond help actually bye'#AAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK#shouldn't have had that large iced coffee this morning#that's on me#well#anyway how are you guys
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Katemary is about is about Mary thinking that she's bad at being a mother and at being a woman because she both 'failed' to protect her boys and 'fails' at being a stay-at-home mom now, at being the ideal of femininity that society and she herself have set for her.
And it's about her thinking that Kate is so much better at all of this (being feminine, being a mom) than her, because she had her boy growing up in a stable home and going to college, and she keeps her hair long even if it's in the way sometimes in her job, and she's so pretty.
But it's also about Kate always thinking that she failed at being a mom, because she was never there enough for her boy, and thinking that she failed at being a woman, because if she was better at it, surely a man would have stayed? The father of her child would have stayed at least?
And it's about her thinking that Mary is the epitome of both coolness and femininity, because she's a tough hunter who always seems to know what she's doing. And she's also the one that John wanted to stay with. The one he never got over. (And also she's pretty.)
And Katemary is especially about these two realising that actually, neither of them is perfect. Neither of them is the ideal that they're trying to reach, and neither of them is the image that they're trying to project, and that's okay. They can be flawed, because they're just people.
They don't have to be perfect to be good. Or to be loved.
And if Mary is the kind of woman who drives muscle cars and motor cycles and impresses her date by lifting a heavy object, well, Kate is the kind of woman who asks people like her in for coffee.
#Listen. I know it's not even 8 am but I just think. I just think. Them.#Do you see my vision of Mary in a leather jacket. On Kate's couch. Drinking coffee.#And Kate is wearing a dress or perhaps even a skirt. And is batting her eyelashes and her.#Mary thinking that her job as a hunter made her too violent for anyone to love her#Kate thinking that her job as a nurse makes her too detached and busy for anyone to love her#And both of them finding beauty and the qualities they admire in the other#While also both relating to the other's anxieties about being a 'bad mom'#Also Kate patching up Mary's wounds after a hunt#And#Kate is the first one Mary is honest with about hunting. And Mary is the first one who is really honest to Kate about her life and herself.#Just. Do you see my vision.#Katemary#Miilibell
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thinking about staying up all night and smoking weed and then its a school day so im taking my adderall which should keep me awake enough that i dont fall asleep on the bus
#might grab some coffee too theres this rlly good coffee shack on the way#i call them coffee shacks bc its like a kiosk in a mall but outside#or like a food truck without wheels#tiny and stand alone and small businesses#ive gone to a few and one of them tasted horrible but the others were great#this one also makes smoothies mmmmm#maybe ill get a peach smoothie to go along with the caffeine#or maybe mango#not usually a big mango enjoyer but im kinda craving it#nah probably peach#did you know that i didnt get brain freeze until i tried my first really good smoothie?#i was like 12 too#oh and i didnt learn to burp til i was 13#isnt that fucking crazy?#i still have to burp manually cuz it doesnt happen automatically#i used to get such bad gas pains too#the first time i got period cramps (the horrible ones that leave you shaking and crying) i thought it was gas
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What flavor of monster do you think is Kylar’s favorite?
honestly??? im not sure!!
i dont drink all that much in regards to energy drinks but it'd probably just be the classic flavour?? (just for the green and black accents heheeh)
i tried the white can of monster once and i didn't like it :( too sweet
#hatkuuasks#i say 'too sweet' but redbull is probably my favourite soft drink...#i absolutely LOVE tea though. tea and nespresso coffee....#rlly makes me feel like a business-woman bahahaha#speaking of business my new uni timetable got released waaahh
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"No, Vuw-vookh, my head doesn't do that. Firmly attached to my shoulders, for the most part. Though I must admit, the locomotion intrigues me. Is it a voluntary action?"
"It has been so long since I fielded a sincere question about our anatomy—or lack thereof. I have long since transcended the need to ponder the undulations of my own wavelength, so to speak. Furthermore I no longer register such mundane functions as motion or touch."
"You mean, you're no longer aware of your own movements? Your own corporeality? But how could you even begin to orient yourself in time or space?"
"Time? Space? Hopelessly lost concepts to us, long gone. What meaning could Time possibly have to a manifestation of infinity, paradoxically trapped within a universe that is destined to end?"
"But surely… Surely your assumption that the universe is destined to end must imply an intrinsic understanding of linear time, at the very least."
"Hm."
"Does it not…?"
"…in truth, since we arrived in Elysion, I have been experiencing a curious increase in psychic sensations—not only on the basic sensory levels, but once more my mind scintillates with the electric thrill of memory. Yes, I remember things now. Only very vaguely, of course, but they must have been important things to us."
"Oh? That's remarkable! What do you remember?"
"I remember… Like I said, it is very vague."
"That's alright."
"I remember… Sand. I remember marks in the sand, two by two. And I remember making those marks in the sand, two by two. I remember something moving—no, I remember moving something and propelling my body forward, and I remember the feel of something, a kind of weight, pushing down into the sand and leaving those indentations. Two by two by two by two…"
"So you remember walking…? Or riding something perhaps, some sort of animal or vehicle?"
"I remember causality. Motion effecting motion, ever forward, only forward—a temporal motion distinct from one's location in space. Would you not agree that this is truly the essence of Time?"
"I would say you could make a strong argument for it, yes. And I would certainly say that your perceived loss of the concept is not as hopeless as it may seem."
"Yes. You and yours have somehow wrought this corner of the void into a Cradle of Hope, a living crèche—yes, living!—a miraculous incubator for our nascent aspirations and dreams. And that, I would argue, is what compels us to stay, despite our insuperable understanding that it is all destined to end. Dare I venture, this sensation of hope is even more compelling than the miracle shrimp powder…"
#FFXIV#endwalker#i bet the Ea would enjoy debating with a time lord#unfortunately all they have is sethys and he's too busy making coffee for karellians#and trying not to spill grebuloff soup all over himself
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another day of being the goth faggy dyke barista. hard work but someone’s gotta do it
#i looove taking orders and making coffee. i hate everything else i have to do#today i’m supposed to host for some of the day bc it’ll be busy so hopefully i don’t have to do that for too long
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pushing ppl away is not fun 😍
#now i have to lay in my beddd 🫂bc i got irrationally angry when my bf came into the bathroom where i was crying 😍nd then i had to cry#in bed instead#and im still angry or upset for some reason abt monday which i shouldnt be but i guess i havent really processed or even tho it was resolve#resolved i still have bad feelings abt it apparently and im just like lost i guess. idk what u do when u relapse i just ignore it after#I guess it doesnt rly feel like a big deal to me but the whole aftermath and conflict made me want to kms so thats mainly why i probably#wont do it again bc its too painful and messy and makes me suicidall lol#So whatever#But i guess i feel a little angry#Idk#I think itd be better to just ignore it#Anyway at least i made really good pesto eggon toast for myself and a coffee to cheer myself up#nd im probably a little irritable and insane rn bc i wait to eat until evening and then wonder why im like insane and evil. lol#Im just sad nd hate my body face existence i want to die i want to be held i want to disappear i dont want to do anything#feeling ok never lasts etc#Had a big cry for like three minutes now im normal again#need to take my exam soon so ig ill just be busy for 2hrs nd not worrying abt my stupid bullshit pathetic life bye#Then im gonna check my mail bc tab sent me smth <3
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Ho ho holy shit the amount of family drama lately like. Not even just the usual my parents hating each other shit + my shitty uncle, but all THREE of my brothers being horrible and menaces and problems in their own way and the only one I forgive is bro 3 bc he's 13 and being emo and causing drama is what he's supposed to be doing, the other two are ADULTS
I got (and continue to get!) so much shit as the eldest and parentified child and for WHAT? I'm the only one with my life together who is not Actively Causing Problems and Being A Shitty Person and like, oh no apparently that counts for nothing BC I'm living here to save money/pay off my student loans in 2 years instead of 10 + I'm single, so like clearly I'm a failure and not the only child in this house who has their shit together + is emotionally mature + has done the therapy and is actively working on myself even if it's slow going BC therapy is expensive
But ofc no none of THAT matters and my brothers can be horrible menaces all they want, I'm still not perfect so clearly that's the biggest issue here
#franposting#im more just like. annoyed???#i wont air bro 1 and 2s dirty laundry but like#HOLY SHIT. me at my worst was not even CLOSE to this#and YET i got all the criticism and shit from relatives and parents abt my existence#i cant even be like. oh well the holidays are like that and i can leave now#BC I LIVE HERE. BC TORONTO IS TOO EXPENSIVE ON MY CURRENT PAY#and i get paid WELL for an entry level contract in my field#truly its just one thing after another and im just tryin to mind my own damn business#but this is a SMALL HOUSR#truly not my monkeys not my circus but i cant seem to escape it#im so annoyed all the time. leave me alone Please#anyway rereading hote and absolutely loving it even more#but also every single interaction btwenn kip and his family#and its like. yeah. YEAH. I GET IT#fuck that shit. it hurts and you both want and hate it#my little idealistic but also deeply angry heart cant take this#im going to make coffee and Cause Problems On Purpose in fallout#heavy handed political allegories and violence and also helping ppl is clearly what i need rn
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I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭
#I just….#really wanna go home today#not having a good day. I started my period this morning and then I got to work and found out only me and one other opener were there but our#opening manager wasn’t here yet so she was late and we spent the next 20 minutes rushing to get everything set up before we opened#and then we immediately started getting customers and it’s just been busy and I’m tired and just don’t feel good bc of my period#and then so far I’ve had 2 of my least favorite customers come through the drive thru where I’m working#one is this dude who’s just fucking annoying another is the guy that asked for my number a few months ago who I haven’t seen since I turned#him down so I took his order and then made someone else deal with him at the window#and then it got busy with everyone ordering drinks like hot coffees which meant I had to walk from our drive thru out to the lobby bc my#coffees were out bc everyone wants coffee today but when I would do that I would still have to be taking orders#and then someone cleared a few specialty coffees off the barista screen without making them while the person was sitting in the drive thru#so I had to make those while doing other stuff too and people were asking me questions#and I was just getting very overstimulated and annoyed plus I’m hungry#and I just want to leave and go home and sleep but it’s my best friend’s birthday so she’s probably gonna want to do something later but I#just don’t feel up to it and I know she’s probably ready to hang out because she’s been off for 10 days with Covid so she’s well rested now#for her birthday but 😭😭😭 I just want to crash into my bed so hard and not wake up until noon tomorrow#also the coworker I work with every day and don’t like is here today unfortunately#and also all of the speakers we use to play music in the back are dead right now and I just want to play music#first world problems but I have so little patience today
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I got a job interview on the same day my current contract ends lol. Is my run of bad luck coming to an end or is it more of the same though 🧐
#i really really want it because it’s literally within walking distance and the hours are perfect AND it’s over the winter so i don’t have#to worry about how i’m going to fund myself during the off season (ya girl lives in a tourist town lol)#plus the hours don’t clash with my coding course. i mean it’d be hard for them to since it’s a night class#but i don’t even work the same days i have lessons. so that’s good#one catch - it’s 5 hour shifts. and it’s in a coffee shop#there’s a shop attached to it (funnily enough they sell some of the same stuff my previous workplace sold lol) and they give tours#it’s like a historic tourist attraction with businesses attached to it basically. that is the vibe#and ya girl still has a busted knee. so it’s like. will i be able to do this#does anyone want a limping waitress/tour guide/cashier? is 5 hours too much? who can be sure#i’m just going to show up to the interview anyway. i talked to my mom about it and she was like ‘they can maybe give you a chair#while you’re cashiering or program in an unpaid break halfway through the day. plus your start date is 2 weeks away and you have physio#the day before it. you’ll have improved’ and i was like ‘yeah. all true’#like it makes sense to me to just go there; be relatively honest about my limitations; gather info#and just find out whether or not this is feasible and whether they think they can accommodate me or not#if they can’t it’s literally fine. i don’t really have a burning desire to continue working in hospitality. plus i’m starting this course#and there’s a guaranteed job interview at the end of it; plus job help. PLUS my boss all but said she’d take me back in february#like obviously i want and need something to do in the next 6 months but this isn’t the be all and end all#i just want it. i think it would work well for me#i’m going to do the interview and just hope for the best outcome for everybody i think#personal
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wake up narukape we miss you 😞
I SOB. SOBS. MISS YOU GUYS TOO. I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN. I SWEAR ON MY BIRTHDAY (my birthday is today winks 🥹🥹🥹🥹) I'LL WRITE SOMETHING SOON. UEEUEYUEFRHE
#☕; coffee from mika#CRYING#I'VE BEEN SO BUSY IM SORRY I MISS YOU ALL TOO#CANT EVEN MAKE SUMN FOR MY BDAY CAUSE OF SCHOOL 😭😭😭#BUT ILL TRY TO COME BACK SOON#MAYBE NOT IN FULL FORCE BUT YK#UEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEGRFDVVD
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What’s y’all’s autistic superpower? Mines not picking up on sarcasm and having a near meltdown if I don’t wake up hearing my dad playing music and making coffee
#it’s specific because it’s true#it’s apart of MY ROUTINE!!#I don’t even think he knows how important it is that he plays music and makes coffee in the morning#it’s like an alarm for me because he wakes up before i do to go to work#one time he had been too busy to make coffee for almost a week straight and I never cried so hard after it built up#I really thought times were changing and the world was ending 😭#please tell me I’m not the only one with a specific schedule/routine thing#autism#actually autistic#as for the sarcasm- that’s a pretty common trait 😭#one time my friend introduced me to another friend of hers and she worked at a hospital right?#I asked what she did and literally EVERYONE!! went ‘she’s a brain surgeon’#so of course I was like ‘😲 really?? but you’re my age!’ and everyone laughed bruh 😐#my friend said that it was very evident to everyone that it was sarcasm except for me 😔
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people with food allergies/intolerances have a very close relationship with hubris
#whimsy whispers#aka me#i routinely forget I’m lactose intolerant but even if I remember I’ll still have dairy knowing I don’t have meds on me#or in simply too lazy to take meds#‘I’ll be fine’ I am hardly ever fine#the other day I had a small plate of macaroni and it killed me I wanted to die#ppl with dietary restrictions make some noise#this is also directed at my friends who are lactose intolerant as well and my friends with gluten intolerance god help us#it’s tough out here for people who like eating things that they shouldn’t eat TwT#i hate it like my ex coworkers at dollar tree would run by McDonald’s or we’d do a group order and they wouldn’t let me buy a mocha frappe#LIKE I HAVE MEDS ON ME GIVE ME THE COFFEE OR ILL CRY AT MY REGISTER#do you want this? do y’all want me to cry over a coffee in the middle of this dollar tree cause I’ll do it?#and like y’all can’t stop me from buying one of the coffees we sell you’ll just be stopping me from having the coffee I really want#the audacity of people to try and stop me from having dairy#‘aren’t you lactose intolerant?’ what are you a cop? mind your fucking business#I’m so picky and it so happens that most the foods I like have freaking dairy#and there is vegan cheese but we bought some once and made pizza and it had the mostly off putting sticky texture and I’m so sad#i want to have dairy free cheese but not if it’s gonna have the most off putting texture ever#like I’ll either suffer or pray I remmeber I’m lactose intolerant and take meds#cause like again I genuinely forget and ppl like to ask how I forget#firstly I’m just that forgetful so jot that down and secondly I wasn’t always lactose intolerant#god saw me as a twleve year old and was like lol watch this and made it so I couldn’t enjoy dairy without suffering#same thing happened to my roommate recently so we suffer together#now we keep lactose meds on us at all times as do other ppl just in case#we also have some in the car just in case#i have six pills in my bag rn#it’s in my makeshift first aid kit 💖#the meds are kicking in I must sleep if the universe will permit it
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