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starrspice · 1 year

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Somehow

My apple pencil fell out of my bag when i got gas this morning

Stopped by the gas station on the way home to find it by the very pump i got gas at. It had clearly been run over a couple of times

BUT IT STILL WORKS

and ive already ordered replacement tips, a cap, and a case!

#literal miracle #i was so terrified it wouldn't work #ough #i wanted to draw today BUT HAD NO DAMN STYLUS #ive been stressed about this little fuckin pen all day #worried id have to drop $100 on a new one #cuz literally in a week im starting art full time #couldnt have happened at a worse time #but the universe threw me a bone #holy fuck

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a2zillustration · 3 months

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I carried this thing for MONTHS with the EXPRESS PURPOSE of putting Raphael in it (knowing full well Larian wouldn't let me do that, mechanically) and I had one major miscalculation.

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#Ok I'm gonna ramble in the tags about all this get ready:#I KNEW Larian wouldn't let me actually pull this off but I PROMISE you that stupid flask sat in my inventory since the moment I grabbed it #WAITING for when I could write this little bit about putting Raphael in it #I even threw it at him in the fight with a 30% hit chance and it succeeded so I considered that Larian giving me permission to say it workd #But as I was reading up on it again when I was sketching this I saw the bit about native planes and I cried LMAO. But it's dnd-#so I rewrote is as it would've happened in a game. U kno.#Also I have been waiting to use that fox line for SO LONG bc of Croissant's dad being a fox-like fey creature #So much backstory that's slotted in PERFECTLY with the BG3 narrative #Anyway absolutely wild that we managed to take out this ancient powerful devil - and on the first try!#Lae'zel with a potion of speed did WORK. Gale came in clutch with hold monster. Astarion gave Raph stage fright. Croissant made him dance #(I'm pretty sure he just doesn't have a dance animation in ascended form lol)#Hope didn't even need to use divine intervention - this party is terrifying #Croissant hated him but in the end I loved Raphael I see why all you people like him #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #act III spoilers #house of hope #croissant adventures #tav #raphael #lae'zel #iron flask #comics #ALSO shoutouts to you if you both noticed and knew which worthikids animation I borrowed the expression in panel 5 from

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givehimthemedicine · 1 month

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I just found mothergate support that's gonna make you all pee

#posts natalie makes before telling people things they already knew 42 months ago #if searching someone's blog actually worked I wouldn't have to be so terrified right now

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kyouka-supremacy · 3 months

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Today was a good day :)

#Today three strangers were kind to me in three different occasions. It was such a nice coincidence :)#I've been working on Akutagawa's birthday the entire week and today Akutagawa posts were all over my dash. I'm so happy!#I managed to do all the edits I had set up to and I'm glad :)#I dressed rigorously black and white and wore the black striped pants I bought because they reminded me of Beast Akutagawa's outfit #I did my nails black and red!!#My mother called me to congratulate on Akutagawa's birthday #I even baked a cake with a friend and they were so sweet /////#I'm so grateful they managed to make time for it even though they've been so busy and tired because of their job #More than everything I'm grateful they weren't weird about it #They found it a little silly but they never made fun of me. They helped me pick the cake.#And today they even told me that they looked up a video of the character to understand me better #Which TERRIFIES me because no way anyone could get a good impression of Akutagawa from a single video #But if we ignore that it was an unbelievably nice gesture :')#It's just such a foreign feeling because outside of my blog I NEVER talk about my hyperfixations irl.#Because when I used to when I was younger I was only met with scorn or mockery so ever since I started university I simply learnt not to?#And it's just so genuinely weird to talk with someone irl who wouldn't judge me for it–#and not really in the good way because part of me is still convinced that they *are* judging me for it.#Doesn't matter everything suggests the contrary. And I keep overthinking if I overshared about Akutagawa or if I said something dumb #But I'm trying it not to get to me. Today they've been nothing but nice through and through #Whatnot. The last months were very tough for some reason I'm just happy good things can still happen :)#I want to start the queue again now that I'm generally more free and done with Aktgw's birthday and everything.#I also have new exams the first days of April and the program is pretty heavy and wide. On top of following courses. I'll see what I can d #I'd like to start regularly posting again because I'm afraid if I don't I'll just sulk further in misery. We'll see.#Ah I need to catch up with the dash since I've basically not been on Tumblr for three days...#That's it just rambling. I hope everyone's days are nice too!!!#random rambles

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silly-bees · 11 months

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i know we shit on miguel for beating up miles and how it was unnecessary and stuff, and that's totally true. he should not be beating the hell out of children. he definitely should spend time in spider-jail for that. but can we talk about how terrified this man must be?

the loss of his daughter is fresh- possibly within less than a year fresh, and it was all his fault (at least that is what is interpreted by him). an entire UNIVERSE got destroyed because of his actions and now some punk kid who he was been trying to hard to keep out of this operation suddenly appears and starts making the same mistakes miguel did.

miguel sees this kid preaching that he can fix it all and miguel 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴. he can remember thinking those same things. he can remember the naivety of being someone new to multi-dimensional travel; but understanding doesn't change the risks, and this kid threatens everything miguel has seeked to fix.

miles is thinking like miguel did and that terrifies him. it terrifies him that what happened to his world would happen to everyone else's and it would inevitably be 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘭'𝘴 fault. not miles', not anyone else, miguel's (in his mind, anyway).

so, yes. yes he shouldn't have chased miles, but fear does things to the brain. fear leads to desperation and desperation leads to miles' determination and that leads to more fear and it continues in this vicious cycle of pain, danger and pure, guilty terror.

i'm not excusing his actions, but i understand them. i understand them and it hurts so bad in a good way.

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fumbles-mcstupid · 17 days

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Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Rating: General Audiences

Fandom: Jurassic Park III

Relationship: Billy Brennan/Alan Grant

Billy would stay with him, watch over him, hundreds of feet in the air. Alan gets pistol-whipped.

(1/3) Double drabble snapshots from movie scenes or missing scenes under the banner of my first series, The Whole of the Moon

#billyalan #Alan x Billy #Alan Grant x Billy Brennan #Jurassic Park #Jurassic Park III #Jurassic Park 3 #JP3 #ohhh here's reminder that a scene like this had to have happened in the movie #since Alan definitely woke up rolled over/in a different position than how he'd have fallen directly after getting knocked out #you KNOW Billy was terrified and furious for a hot sec #anyway before trying it I wouldn't have anticipated how fun of a writing exercise these were !!#they're double drabbles and idk if I'd even want to try JUST drabbles since this is about the minimum word count I can work with lol #& also godddd that song I'm using for titles is..... just.... so apt for them #I SIGHED BUT YOU SWOONED #moon metaphors. everything else! (you'll see)#(and of course I respect the original Waterboys version but ssfdkjfskjdkljsk mostly I listen to the Celtic Woman version of the song)#(I kinda feel like the beat vibes better with them somehow)#my fic #my stuff

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mythvoiced · 2 months

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OPEN STARTER | Boo Yihwa

"New idea: you fuck off or I'll kill you. I hate the way you smell."

#;open starter #the witch;yihwa #the witch;open #NEW FC NEW FC NEW FC couldn't find more resources for the old one plus i generally just wanted a new one lmao here she is #SO she's around 90 yrs old so fresh immortal she/her all the way and she hates people~#her 'immortality' is just her lengthening her lifespan by 'consuming' souls of the deceased #spirits yknow because if they're strong enough to stick around as spirits then they have enough life energy left #to be added to hers IT WORKED it's weird mathematics but she made it work #she's less of a witch and more of a psychic of sorts?? she doesn't really do spells she just #makes it look like it's spells when it's just her having figured out how to trap souls lmao #she's so much NOT fun to be around it's thrilling~#;queue #gosh i have to change her about doc #but hoNESTLY what with her fc change i really wanna WRITE her now LIKE DAMN #she's so muCH FUN because she doesn't mince her words and she hates everyone #OH AND ALSO she's terrified of death she will nOT die that's NOT AN OPTION #but she's also only 91 it's so funny all the shit she knows from the past is stuff your grandparent could corroborate #you should become her lil apprentice actually?? she'd HATE that but then she'd really angrily accept you after a while #and she'd turn you into a supervillain ngl or she'd try to #but you can then go around and say 'i wouldn't mess with me' bc if she starts considering you an extension of herself #or GOD FORBID care about you her deranged methods of self-protection wILL be extended onto you

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widevibratobitch · 3 months

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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol #anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly #but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size #acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years #and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating #(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive #when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well #and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom #and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao #like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is #anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333 #god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by #but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr #anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.

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ravenxbones · 7 months

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🎃 PUMPKINHEART WISHES YOU A HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2023! 🎃

plain version under the cut!

#warrior cats #warriors #warriors oc #oc tag #hallowclan #pumpkinheart #i thought i wouldn't be getting anything out for halloween this year tbh like i didn't have any writing done #and the drawing i was TRYING to do made me so frustrated and was turning out so bad that i new i wasn't going to have time to finish it #like i would have had to either put in SO much work to fix it or completely start over. either way i didn't have time #soooooo i changed what i was going to do to something simpler. and its still thematic because pumpkinheart and her whole clan are already #halloween themed :) yay #anyways. hope you guys still like it #even though its not the halloween killjoys drawing i HAD been planning. boo #also hi. i'm queuing this at 3 am #and i am terrified. of mcr doing something. if i seem calm rn it is because now at 3 am nothing has happened yet.#so if something HAS happened when you see this know that i am not doing well. thanks

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cuntwrap--supreme · 1 year

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My mom texted me on her way to work this morning asking if I could make dinner tonight. Sure, I say, but I'm not making flavorless food. She asks what I meant, and I say I refuse to cook like she does, where everything is burnt and the most spice any dish gets is a pinch of ground peppercorn. So now I'm officially off dinner duty (thankfully!) because she can't stand anything with flavor. God forbid the turkey have been cooked with any spices. Chives in mashed potatoes? Unheard of. Spice blend in the roast vegetables? Impossible!

#christmas #food #dinner #white people #white people cooking #it's only due to working in kitchens so long that i know how to cook #now thinking about how i would still cook like my mom does if I'd never gotten that first kitchen job. scary thought.#my sister cooks in the same bland way because she's never learned how to combine flavors #like my sister made broccoli last night and it was just steamed. no spice. no nothing.#my family is also terrified of using garlic and onion - especislly if either is fresh #i one time made marinara from scratch and my mother wouldn't eat it because there were visible garlic chunks....#or no one will eat what i cook if there are 'colors' in the food - which means if i make alfredo with peppers in it or meat with seasoning #my brother is the only person in my immediate family who appreciates good food so i only really cook if it's just me and him at home #he never complains about shit like onion powder in his food #I've tried showing him how to cook so he isn't also doomed to cook like a white person but he's so adhd that it doesn't hold his attention

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#christ. so i was selected as the top candidate for the program i interviewed with on Friday #and im very annoyed and very pleased and also annoyed that im pleased #im pleased bc it means that they were impressed with what ive done to this point and they think i communicate well. which is cool #and the project is very very cool and id love to work on it #am annoyed bc this does put pressure on me to accept bc they can only put one student forward so if i dip out then thats it for them #which i find extremely stressful. and everything is just so much more complicated if i go to the uk for a phd #and i dont get the luxury of faffing about and taking a bunch of classes like i could in the us. ugh but it would b so cool to go back to #the uk and i wouldn't have to fucking drive. ugh. this project.#ugh its like my boss said #sometimes the project is more worth it than the school. id have crazy cool opportunities to learn things on this project #but at the cost of taking a lot of classes in the us. but every project is what u make of it #but im so fucking dyslexic thst its hard to learn outside a classroom bc i cant concentrate and i dont have a person talking me thru the #info. so idk idk. hopefully when i visit the other school ill kno how i feel #god but i loved living in the uk. and i could travel so much more freely there bc the trains and all that. im so fucking restricted bc im #so terrified of driving. i dont have good reaction speed and i space out too much and i get intrusive thoughts #sigh... but id be a whole 24hrs of travel away from my family instead of the 10hrs thst i am now #so id probably only get to see them once a year maybe? in contrast to 2 or 3 times #and im just worried something terrible will happen and then ill be like fuck i wasted all my time making myself miserable so far away #idk. im so tired. we had like a mile abd a half hike out to a site one way and we left at 7.30 got back at like 4 #it was a long fucking day. and im tried. and i have no filter. and when i talk too much it really annoys me #also! i got confirmation that i fucking suck at recording data. wow im so shocked. its basically designed for me to be terrible at #but its still slightly embarrassing. like srry i fucked up ur data. i cant write words correctly #literally i kept writing my Ls upside down today. why? idk that not how i see them. my brain just cant make Language right lol #whatever. my parents r calling tomorrow and i can info dump at them abt my dyslexia knowledge and my academic knowledge of biblical history #bc instead of listening to anything useful to my job. i choose to listen to lectures on neurology and theology. bc fucking idk #its interesting im relearning my bible lore from a non religious perspective. theology is fucking fascinating. ugh anyway #i shoulf sleep im so fucking tried #unrelated

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v-iv-rusty · 2 years

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dnd looks like a lot of fun and honestly I've always wanted to play it but the idea of trying to find a group and learn to play a game I know nothing about with a bunch of people I don't know well is. extremely intimidating

#misc.txt #was thinking about this today. I actually had a dnd beginner's set when I was 12ish #until my parents decided it was 'satanic' and 'the game makes you say REAL magic spells!!!'#you know. the satanic panic and all that #I still remember sneaking a look - terrified of getting in trouble - at the back of the rulebook where the magic section was...#....and realizing that it was literally just 'fireball' or 'resurrect' or 'intimidate' etc. it was so fucking stupid lmao #but!! now that I'm an adult I'm free to play it :D I'm just....not thrilled at the idea of joining a group of complete strangers #none of my friends play it so I guess my only option would be to find an online group? I'm really not sure how this works tbh #and besides the fact that I wouldn't even know where to start I've heard some horror stories abt women's experiences in dnd groups #so I'm kind of wary. but I really want to try it sometime in looks like so much fun :)#I've read some of the rules and a bit of some guidebooks and I already even kind of have some concepts for characters I want to make #paladin sounds fun. or maybe artificer #probably will not get to play it for a while but it's nice to think about

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egginfroggin · 10 months

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Ingo and Emmet, by the timemost of the fic takes place in the Mistborn AU, have certain strengths and weaknesses, and certain parts of their respective fighting styles that are rather unique.

This got so long. I thought too hard.

Got some claustrophobia stuff here, too.

Anyway:

Ingo's main weakness is that he is essentially a false Mistborn and does not, in fact, have the ability to burn all Allomantic metals. He gave himself the ability to burn metals other than iron by way of Hemalurgy -- specifically, by using slender pins, like very large needles.

(There's a certain irony and logic in the fact that he hunts Steel Inquisitors and yet has made himself into something resembling the same thing that he seeks to eradicate)

As such, there are certain things he's unable to do -- tracking someone by sensing the metal they burn, for example, or hiding his own use of metal. Most of the metals he burns are very noticeable -- steel and pewter, for example, though he also uses tin to amplify his senses for the purpose of self-preservation.

Also, claustrophobia. Very bad claustrophobia. He will panic if he's shooed into an enclosed space, especially at night -- an alley, an underground tunnel, a small room, anywhere small and confined.

Emmet's main weakness (outside of his linchpin) and is the fact that he constantly burns tin. As far as I can recall and tell, Steel Inquisitors don't really see normally -- having metal stakes driven into your eye sockets will do that to you, I guess -- and instead "see" by way of sensing metal. So, the presence and absence of metal. I think.

(One of the twins clocked him in the face with a brick, once)

(No you don't get context) (yet)

This is something that he's gotten used to, but being unable to see what's around him makes him exceptionally uneasy at times -- especially because of the fact that his hearing is not the best. It isn't the worst, but it is not the best, either.

Thus, he burns tin. It's almost constant, giving him an edge by letting him pick out the sounds of things nearby, such as sneaky little gremlin twins or murderous brothers or similar such threats. But this is for picking out small sounds -- he uses quite a bit of tin, as a result, and his hearing can be very sensitive at times, to the point where overly loud noises can be debilitating until he stops burning.

Now, fighting.

Ingo is very nimble, and accurate when moving via iron and steel. He's acquired quite a bit of flexibility and precision with his movements -- a lingering result of squirming around underground and trying not to shred his arms completely when reaching for atium beads in the Pits of Hathsin -- and when firing coins.

But here's where he gets fun.

His steelpush isn't the most powerful -- imperfect Hemalurgy, the pin spending too much time outside of his body, and such, has made it so. Coins are good, convenient weapons, but what about other pieces of metal, like shrapnel?

What about adding poison to the mix?

He wears gloves -- thick leather gloves that the shards won't cut through. The shrapnel cuts through skin with far less force than a coin, and if he's decided to use poison, well, isn't that convenient?

(I just really like the idea of Ingo knowing a lot about poison and toxins; it's fun, and in this case, I feel like it's something that's plausible)

Emmet, on the other hand, excels at close-quarters combat. And if he is given a weapon, he will dual wield. Knives? He's got two. Probably four, just in case one of them breaks. He knows when to flare pewter to hit especially hard, relying on his own natural speed and skill to get close, and when to burn it in the background to dull the pain of any wounds, to conserve what he has.

He hits hard and he hits fast, and you'll probably have either broken bones or a good number of lacerations by the time he's done with you -- if you're still alive.

Anyway, I just think these guys are neat. And that the idea of Mistborn using shrapnel in place of coins would be terrifying.

#when I finally get my mitts on these books again I'm just gonna vanish for like a week #come back on a whole dang mistborn kick #egginfroggintalkin #eggin's writings #mistborn au #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #submas #claustrophobia #ingo is a terror who can freaking snipe you and leave you dead even if you escape #emmet is a terror who will simply bleed you or delete your bones #they are both terrifying and it gets so much worse when they work together #pokemon #I was like hey #if steel inquisitors see by sensing where metal is #can they. like. not see things that aren't metal #could you just whip out a brick or something and chuck it at them and they wouldn't be able to see it #I'm sorry but I find the concept of just. whacking an inquisitor with a brick. far funnier than I should #knife broke oh well BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TIME #I was so tired when I slapped all this down

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elytrafemme · 9 months

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posting actively anti KOSA stuff on my instagram account which i know is followed by at least one person who is explicitly pro KOSA... who i also work with...

#nightmare.personal #his post regarding it is deleted so i hope he has changed his mind but #man. you have GOT to understand the harm KOSA is going to do #when will people stop looking at censorship as something where you can throw exceptions at it #and expect it to work #if you give them the power to make the internet safer then you give them to power to make the internet more unsafe #& if you look at our cultural context... well. you have three guesses to figure out which it's going to fucking be #it's ALWAYS 'oh we shouldn't censor... EXCEPT' and 'oh this is illegal... EXCEPT'#how are the people going to find out they're exceptions? how broad are these exceptions going to go?#i know playing with absolutes is a dangerous game and censorship is CONTENTIOUS on this site #but holy shit i am begging these people-- begging this man really-- to realize what we're working with here #i have been irreparably scarred by the internet but the terrifying thing about it is #the places that scarred me looked alike to the places that healed me #overwhelmingly queer spaces in both conditions #and so i can sympathize with the terror but also you cannot strike out what hurt me without effectively taking out #what has gotten me this far. that's not something we can do as people.#i wouldn't trust myself with that #and i most certainly would not trust the government.

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tardis--dreams · 10 months

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I should call the doctor's office *calls, in tears* *they don't pick up* oh thank GOD above- i should call the doctor's office *shaking and throwing up while calling* *they don't pick up* oh hell yeah! I should call the doctor's office *calling* please don't pick up please don't pick up please don't pick up ple *they don't pick up* I'm so happy rn! Aw fuck i still need to call the doctor's office though ㅠㅠ *they don't pick up* ah well i tried my best I'll just ask in person on friday when I'm there anyway (((:

My mother: *shakes head disappointedly*

#you know the problem is that i am terrified of calling people but i will get over myself and do it #but if they don't pick up up to 30 times it just doesn't work #i need to ride the wave of initial bravery to avoid further avoidance #but if they don't pick up i have an excuse to avoid more calling because hey it's useless anyway and I WILL be there in person later #this week anyway #it's just that i probably should have called earlier so maybe i could get an appointment this Friday already or they could prepare what i #need and i wouldn't need to come in again #but oh god i hate it so much i want to wither away and die #i need to make a plan on how I'll approach this on Friday though #I'll need to state what i need as soon as i get there when i say why I'm actually there (the vaccination)#so I'll have to say something like 'hi I'm here for the vaccination and also have a question/request that I need to address-#*explain what i need* can you do that or do i need to make another appointment for it?' and then they'll hopefully tell me what to do #god i wish i were dead #i should probably call once more :/#i also need to call the hair dresser which is a lot less stressful but also I'm scared of that bitch(tm) picking up the phone #instead of literally anyone else who works there- she is the worst but oh well i gotta take some risks i guess #void screams #i don't wanna call the doctor's office ㅠㅠ

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baka-monarch · 2 years

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#rambles #some guy at work wouldn't shut up about how much he loves fucking women #and how excited he was to date one of the local country girla #so i shared loads of biology facts #and now he's terrified of me

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