#i was like oh im gonna have so much gay sex except be sad about my vagina. its the opposite trust me
Text
Red, White & Royal blue: live blind reaction.
I have never read the book, I have no idea of the plot, I have a two line summary.
Let’s go.
There is so much exposition in this it’s not even funny
PRESIDENT UMA THURMAN!
Is the book written like this what the fuck this is kind of bad
Where was Prince Henry’s actor when they were casting the crown fr he’s a dead ringer for baby wills
Don’t get me wrong. The two main characters are fucking hot as shit, but the actual story and the dialogue is so predictable
Alex has the eyelashes of a god
The budget for this is… not high. The president’s son can only afford to have like 50 people at his party? And it’s in a marquee tent with fairy lights instead of at a venue? The fuck? Lol
And they’re skipping all the relationship development.
Okay wait Get Low just came on
Henry watches TV, but he’s never heard popular music?
Oh this everyone getting low except then thing is kinda cute but a little cringe but actually a lot cringe. I refuse to believe that someone who drags their mate to the DF for get low isn’t getting aforementionedly low.
Aw Henry leaves when Alex kissed a girl, methinks he’s got a little crush
OH
OH I SEE
oooooooooooooooooooo
Aw cute Henry likes him. Wish we’d had a little more foreshadowing of that though cause it seems like they were just friends. Could’ve done with a bit more from Henry’s POV
God this snow is so fake though I’ve never even seen snow but that was so obviously a closed set
Pairing up the only two black characters I see hmmm
The actress who plays Nora is absolutely adorable
Both women leaders I love it
Omg did he not come to the party naur his poor little empty place card
Did his place card say “Prince Henry” I’m fucking sorry but a black tie event he would be “HRH” AT LEAST, and they would be using Alex’s full first name (assuming it’s Alexander) or just Mr. Full first name and Surname who wrote this you know nothing of etiquette 🤣
Miguel hot. Please don’t sleep with him though please Henry will be sad.
Alex you didn’t tell him off the record you eejit
REDRUM
OKAY HER WALKING IN ON THEM WHHXHCHHAHAHAHA IM DYING OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD
Are you still…. “Like Stonehenge”
“Your Royal hardness”
Omfg I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s so cute
He did NOT just pat Henry’s ass in public babe you’re gonna get him in trouble
OH OKAY THIS JUST GOT GOOD LETS HAVE A BJ SCENE
oh wait no it didn’t. They really just faded to black on me 😒
“Keep it Casual” rude and not okay
And also wtf did Henry get off too or did he just blow Alex and leave. What happened to “I’m gonna do terrible things to you” like no sir it sounds like you just got a blowjob and then didn’t reciprocate. Lover of the year 10/10 (sArCaSm)
THOSE GREY PANTS HIDE NOTHING ALEX GODDAMN
Why are there bagpipes playing at a polo match?
I’m sorry but for people trying to keep things quiet they sure talk about their sexual escapades in public a lot
A mouthful muahahahha called it with the grey pants alex is hung like a horse
Oof Alex got swerved for the hand hold that’s a big ouch
Aww the bit where he’s not sure who’s topping and who’s bottoming it’s such a mood and it’s cute.
Okay stop. Wait. I’ve paused this. Anyone who says they went to boarding school as a justification for being gay or experienced is lying. I went to an all girls boarding school, and my husband went to an all boys. All boys schools are some of the most disgustingly homophobic places on the fucking planet. If he’s saying that all the boys are fucking each other he’s dead wrong. If anything he’d be so shamed for being even remotely gay that he’d be traumatised. Fuck boarding school. Okay back to the movie.
Ooooh damn alex has a great body
Oh wow this is actually really fucking cute
I can’t believe how wrong I was about you FUCK OFF THIS IS SO CUTE
Aaaaaahhhh!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THIS SEX SCENE IS SO ROMANTIC AND CUTE!
I can’t help but laugh with the hand closeups though it’s so titanic and cringe
But the facial closeups are *beautiful*
These guys are phenomenal actors I’m so glad they didn’t fade to black for that scene. But the directing is… interesting.
Pausing to find out if the actors are gay
Unconfirmed for both. I ship them together they look beautiful as a couple.
“I’m learning” oh fuck off that’s beautiful
Oof the plane home is a mood alex is so in love.
His mum is right though. She can’t do shit unless she gets re-elected
Wait was he formerly allowed to speak to the press lol since when??? As if he’s authorised.
“Yes madam president” oh shut up you angsty teenager 🤣 this is so “you just don’t GET me mom and daddddd”
Awww he’s so cute with his Texas thing though
THE EMAILS BACK AND FORTH
WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT IN PUBLIC
Wouldn’t it have been more romantic for him to be waiting in Alex’s apartment because then he actually would’ve been able to greet him properly instead of just grabbing his shoulder like “what are you doing here”
Miguel KNOWS and this is bad bad bad. Why the evil Hispanic man though?
AHAHHAHAHHA ZAHRA STORMING IN WHERE IS SHE omfg she is by far my favourite character in this whole movie
“Who knows about this?” “Literally no one but you. And the secret service. And Percy. And Nora. Oh and I told my sister. Oh I didn’t know that? Yeah she’s really happy for us.” BSHCHJCJSHAHHAAHHAHA
That was my favourite line so far hands down
Technically I’m the spare CHCISOOAK PRINCE HARRY CODED 🤣🤣🤣🤣
As for you little lord fuckleroy I will brexit your head from your body OKAY ZAHRA HAS THE WORLDS BEST DIALOGUE NEW FAVOURITE LINE
THE BOW - your royal highness omfg I’m dead Zahra deserves an award and an Oscar the actress is so good
Aw the talk with mum awww this whole thing is cute. Bestie Uma is an ally. Her telling him about bottoming is so iconic omfg
Aw look at Henry in a flannel shirt 😂
The karaoke omfg and he sucks 😂
Alex is so in love holy shit
Aw and Alex’s dad loves him
THE SHUFFLE CLOSER ON THE DOCK
WHAT A CALLBACK
oh
Oh no
Oh I don’t like this
I don’t like the look on Henry’s face rn
Oh wow alex just got swerved.
I— *splash*
That’s how I’m leaving every uncomfortable conversation from now on. Just roll away and splash into the water.
HES LEAVING COMPLETELY?!!!!???!
Aw i like your dog what’s his name
Wait where’s the dog I want more dog
Quickly checks doesthedogdie.com
Only one report and it says no so I think we’re good.
Did you actually end things with Alex though? NO YOU DID NOT. You just GHOSTED HIM
Nora’s right go to london
OH HES HERE HES AT THE GATE shkskskksksks
oh my god Henry’s speech is heartbreaking.
“I can love you and want you and still not want that life. I’m allowed. And it doesn’t make me a liar. It makes me a man with some infinitesimal shred of self preservation and you don’t get to come in here and call me a coward for it.”
Okay whelp now I’m crying. Being a prince do be like that. Except fuck Harry and Meghan for reals.
Well you can’t just not let anything happen to you. Because nothing will ever happen to you. Isn’t this what Dory says to Marlin in Finding Nemo wtf 😂 PLAGIARISM
I’m pretty sure the royal family don’t have a key to the British museum please correct me if I’m wrong, they could have magic skeleton keys to every building in Britain but it seems unlikely.
Circling a sculpture of a male torso like sharks hmm yes the deepening of the movie such imagery much wow very meaning
Please don’t dance amongst the statues that’s really cringe
Aw okay no I take it back it’s cute.
Elvis? it should’ve been a Bowie song just saying.
OH WAIT THE DOGS NAME IS DAVID I JUST REMEMBERED awww yesss hope nothing happens to david
Aw they’re dancing like they’re at a school disco 🤣
History huh? Bet we could make some.
PLEASE Alex waking up in Buckingham palace 😂 that’s gonna be an awkward walk of shame past the paparazzi 🤣🤣🤣
The chain on that key is new it is not old. When did he make that necklace yesterday?
OH MY GOD NO NOT THE EMAILS
#Hacked
No
No
No
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
WHY WONT THEY LET THEM TALK THIS IS DUMB AND STUPID
Surely someone has a sneaky phone they can hook them up on COME ON!!!!!
I fucking knew it was Miguel. Even when I thought it was the palace I knew it was him.
“This is about privacy” eek Prince Harry is gonna love this IRL
That whole speech from Alex was beautiful. Also means they can’t deny anything which is probably not the best strategic move I hope Henry’s not mad that he did that. Stupid idealistic Americans.
ZAHRA IM OBSESSED WITH YOU YOURE THE REAL QUEEN AND SHES FUCKING THE EQUARRY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS IM IN LOVE IS ZAHRA SINGLE I WANT TO MARRY HER
SKINNY PERFECT ASS hjcicidoskkcncjidisokncnnfmdkskskkckkckcjncnsnamkck
“Baby” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
“I’m coming to london” WHY DID YOU NOT DO THAT AS SOON AS THE EMAILS GOT LEAKED
Omg that hug on the stairs stop it they’re actually so beautiful together
HES NOT PLAYING YANKEE DOODLE ON THE PIANO
Did Henry see Alex’s speech tho I kinda need to know
OH YAY HE SAW IT jcjcjdkksoxjjcncks
“Your boyfriend”
Oh the king wants to see them oh shiiiit
THE SIGNET RING
Shut the fuck up Phillip you Poncy cunt
THEY
No
NO THEY DIDNT
They did not get STEPHEN FUCKING FRY to play a HOMOPHOBIC KING
Bsbchjcjsjdjkckfkkdmsa I am laughing so fucking hard right now I’m crying I actually had to pause it I’m laughing so hard
THIS CASTING DIRECTOR EITHER NEEDS AN OSCAR OR A RAZZY I CANT DECIDE
Why haven’t they bowed all the royals now to each other
He smokes lol the king does not smoke they would consider it vulgar these days
That is a LARGE glass of whisky. Like that is four shots minimum.
Dear God, this King is so fucking stupid if he thinks that this can be explained with Clandestien reports after Alex has just done like a super romantic beautiful speech publicly acknowledging their relationship .
Like what is he expecting Henry to say that Alex was lying and he was making it up to further his mums political campaign?
Hommo sek siual 🤣🤣 I’m sorry but Stephen fry playing a homophobe is just so far outside the realm of me being able to suspend my disbelief I’m just PMSL
They will not accept a Prince- just wait
Now is the part where there’s a giant crowd supporting him
CALLED IT
GO
YAYYYYYYYYYY aww they’re so cute together aww aww awww yayyy look at all the pride flags
Of course the election hangs on Texas lol
It’ll come down to Austin
Writing her concession speech on election night I think not this would’ve been preappproved weeks ago
Prince would not be on stage he wouldn’t be allowed either by the royals or by his security team or by the Democrats lol
AND THE MOVIE’S OVER
Rachel Hilson that’s her name I love her
Someone needs to tell me if the book has better pacing than this because the pacing was all over the place for the first 45 minutes. The rest of the movie was great but idk
OH THERES A POST CREDITS 🤣 aww cake YAY that’s so cute abbdbsjajhahahahqh
There we go.
Overall not bad but the pacing and exposition was really off at the start. Lucky I’m procrastinating from writing otherwise I might’ve turned it off lol.
Love the actors (especially Alex’s eyelashes babe what mascara you using damn) and their chemistry but idk the writing was a bit cringe in parts. Really well acted though.
Recommend-ish?
Edit: it’s now the next day and I’ve had time to think about it. And the more I think about it the more I’m fucking in love with this movie
How rarely do we get to just see two silly little boys in love with none of the trauma dumping or anything just a beautiful little romcom for two happy little gays
10/10 idc about the exposition and cringe I loved it and it deserves the world.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
no joke i felt like i couldn’t breathe in this ep. like can we just sit down and consider how much stuff just fucking happened in that ep. seanwhite are fucking, they’re being all couple-ey and it’s like so precious??? like sean is so soft it’s such a 180 from how we’ve seen him before and I love it??? yok is continuing his unhinged gay agenda except now dan’s along for the ride. he’s saving yok from whoever’s following him (im guessing tawi’s men??) he met yok’s deaf mom, they kissed, is dan on their team now???? also dan killed sean’s father and he told yok but yok doesn’t know the man he killed was sean’s dad. he’s gonna try and introduce dan to sean but sean isn’t gonna know what dan did that’s a whole can of worms just waiting to be opened. and is the trailer trying to make us sus of dan saying there’s tawi’s ppl in th authorities I just cannot keep track?? also gram and eugene continue to be so fucking confusing ive actually given up on trying to guess what’s going on in grams head it’s too much. and namo is sad bc she likes sean. then we’ve got someone seeing sean and white kiss but who??? bc it wasn’t namo and idk if it was black either??? bc hah yes blacks here he woke up from a coma due to the power of sex and white has found him and black knows that white was pretending to be him and he’s not happy but he doesn’t know the full story esp with what’s happening between white and sean. but how is white supposed to explain this to sean bc idk if he knows (ppl are assuming he does and I think he knows something but not everything he’s doing some sus stuff so I be keeping my eye out. plus did we even get the “I know you have a brother” line from last weeks teaser idk I need to check). oh and todd is evil we all knew but yeah he hurt black but why??? and does it have something to do with this thing blacks mom is calling about???? why do I feel like blacks been up to stuff that no one knows about concerning stuff relating to todd and his mom and I’ll be interested to see if this ties in to tawi in some way bc now it’s like we have two enemies one for black/white and one for sean so are they gonna come together???? idk
tl;dr be things are getting messy and confusing in the best way everyone’s up to stuff and idk who I can feel safe with. peeps i fucking LOVE this and i can’t wait for shit to go down im screaming
#not me#sos for the stream of conscious rant but I just needed to vent#my mind is spiralling with what’s going on#i love this#i love these characters are coming in like dan and black and kinda fucking everything up by affecting all these people#i love that moves are being made before we’re sure of anything it all feels so up in the air and like anything could fall apart at any time#it’s fucking incredible#let it be known that not me is delivering 100x what I could ever expect this ep was AMAZING#made by jemmo
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.
She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.
Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.
DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE
Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.
YUP
Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.
That's so cute though
People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.
SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES
Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.
BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER
The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.
Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup
NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???
IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK
Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.
Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.
Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.
David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.
Gigi of course loved the dining halls.
Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.
It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)
“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.
“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.
True enough.
AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!
Someone make me a playlist.
“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”
I had forgotten that-
Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.
Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.
AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!
When's the wedding?
(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)
“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”
Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP
Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.
Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.
Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus
Well well well
The kind of love that cheated death.
The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.
The kind of love that changed the world.
Trust me all of our standards are very high
Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.
Me during English.
Ok who's the blond?
Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-
Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.
which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.
Lexi was a little scared of that.
Me.
Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!
THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES
OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD
Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.
She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE
vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.
Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.
“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”
“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”
“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.
I-
Liv-
True though.
“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.
“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.
True and true
“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”
“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.
MAX LANGUAGE
“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”
Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.
But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.
I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this
There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.
When you find them lemme know too.
“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.
Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.
JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD
“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”
“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.
That is very much possible.
“I heard you were conceived in hell?”
“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”
“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”
Oh yes. Both clace and malec.
Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.
LMAO
Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.
“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”
You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit
What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.
RIGHT????
She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.
Honey that's gay.
EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD
Selena: Ugh boys
Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.
Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.
Selena: Obviously.
Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.
ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!
OH MY GOD IM CACKLING
Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.
And most important, some people didn’t have partners!
We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me
“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”
Lexi gave him a small nod.
“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”
Lexi bit her lip.
“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”
THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!
“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”
“Can I say no?”
“No.”
“Then go ahead.”
I love her so much
“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”
Yeah...
“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”
EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?
“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”
“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.
“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”
DO IT
“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”
“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.
ABSOLUTELY ICONIC
“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."
That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.
alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality
OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???
One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”
“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”
Does the boy have hearing problems?
ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL
“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”
“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”
“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”
Exactly.
“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”
Awwww
Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”
“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.
“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”
“But that’s not-”
Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.
“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.
Listen to Raziel you dumb shit
“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.
Ugh I wish
OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL
“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”
Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.
Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess
Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!
Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!
Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!
Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!
LMAO
Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?
Jace omg...
That's so him though.
“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”
“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."
IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH
Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”
EXACTLY
Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”
Grabs flamethrower names
“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”
“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.
“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”
DO IT
He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”
Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.
Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D
“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”
THE GROWTH OH MY GOD
This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!
It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.
And here. I made you a playlist.
You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
first listen to rhys and ianto’s excellent barbecue: a saga
I’m just gonna put all my thoughts in order while I listen to this audio and do my homework. I’ll tag it for spoilers, but I’ll also put everything below the cut in case you haven’t listened to it yet <3 um also i do a lot of swearing be warned...
last warning, yall, lots of spoilers and quotes ahead:
Rhys’s friends call him RHYSIE and I Am So Soft For This.
“I’m making my Special Sauce” god if Jack were here....
I love how Torchwood writers can’t even find a way to write RHYS in a straight way. He’s so cute and AHSDHGHFDAS I LOVE THIS SO FAR
the meat jokes.... already.... let’s hope serentiy Ianto does not resurface
IANTO! my god I have missed my boy. HE IS BACK
Oh my god... oh my fuck.... he’s so CUTE i might need to take a breather.... dude....
Gwen looking out for Ianto, inviting him to Rhys’s stuff. DID SOMEONE SAY FOUND FAMILY HMMMM
“lads, lads, lads” I WENT FERAL WHEN I HEARD THIS IN THE TRAILER
“Jack’s sorry he couldn’t come” hhhhhhhh one sausage comes off the barbecue and he’d be like “this is quite homoerotic” HAIJFODHS
Rhys come on,,,, baby,,,,, do not be homophobic about this
I get the feeling I might be going too crazy about this,,, WE’RE ONLY FIVE MINUTES IN
godDAMNIT THIS IS THE SHIT I’VE BEEN CRAVING EVER SINCE GHOST TRAIN afdsohfs
Ianto brought Chardonnay....
“Except Banana boat, he’s a bit thick” AGFDKHDGS R H Y S
oh shit alien things are happening
“yes, RHYS, I know how to discuss my TOP SECRET work at a social event” he’s fucking ICONIC
“you have an inability to call each other by your proper names” my sister is just like this tho... she calls all her friends by anime character names.. little bit better than ‘sticky jeff’ but not much
Ianto being oblivious to Rhys’s gender role shit is just,,,, I STAN HIM
If Ianto and Rhys do not take a ride in the pink car by the end of this audio I’m suing
jkjk but that would be so great wouldn’t it
godDAMNIT i love this audio
"we.... don’t” yet again, it is the 21st century, and torchwood is sooo not ready
“It’s the BOYS’ barbecue” rhys and his friends seem like they have a very cute queerplatonic relationship. wonder if they wear socks when they’re doing “barbecues”
who the fuck is steven.... whAT IS GOING ON
“I don’t know him THAT well, but there’s no way he would call me love” u sure abt that rhysie
“if u run headfirst into an invisible wall, at least let me FILM it on my phone” these two i stfg
this ‘time bubble’ concept has SO MANY FIC POSSIBILITIES why is big finish spoiling us-
jack and gwen going for pizza instead of being at work AHHDOFDGSHK
oh my GOD THE CALLBACK TO DISSECTED!!!!! this is like when gareth called back to The Last Beacon in Dinner and a Show AHHHH
I am reminded about martha and gwen,,, i am happy,,, the PARALLELS
these two arguing dude the TENSION.. the SUBTEXT
“god help you if you ever hear about pink wine” SFIHOJADHGF
i swear half my commentary here is me quoting something funny and then keyboard smashing
Ianto is fucking ANNIHILATING Rhys here and by extension gender roles. Goddamnit THIS is the conversation we needed. I love him so much can you tell
“you LOVE each other” I’ve only had this audio for about half an hour but if anything fucking happens to it, i’ll kill everyone in the room and then myself
i don’t think you understand how goddamn adorable rhys is about his friends
“thank fuck none of them are here right now” mate my man badger calls you RHYSIE i don’t think it would affect them
I am so thankful Jack isn’t here because oh my g o d this would be an hour long block of innuendos. this whole audio is just exposing the very prominent homoerotic tendencies of straight men
sometimes, and by that i mean all the time, i wonder if my family hears me listening to big finish and wonders if i’m actually just watching porn. and honestly I think it would be a whole lot less embarrassing if i just told them i was watching porn instead of “yeah it’s this scifi thing these characters are trying to make a hole in an invisible time force field thing. are they gay? no, well, i mean, yes, but not like that! welllll, a little bit like that, but it’s NOT PORN”
“what the hell was that rhys? You Absolute Idiot.” AHHH THESE TWO
“let’s stuff it full of sausages”
GWEN AND IANTO TELLING EACH OTHER STORIES ABOUT THEIR IDIOT HUSBANDS IS MY LIFEBLOOD FUCKKKKKK
“back pocket” THIS IS SENDING ME BACK TO MY SHERLOCK FANDOM DAYS (fucking remember john getting sherlock’s phone out of his coat that he was wearing? that’s what this is)
Rhys pretending to be Steven (Stephen?) is,,,,, oh my god,,, this is too fucking intense
god i feel so bad for rhys,,, seriously
ohmygodddddd
this took a serious turn I was not prepared for
also gwen wanting rhys to talk to ianto is,,, ughhhh i ship gwen/rhys sooo hard
rhys- baby- oh my godohmygodohmygod
im like,,, IM CRYING BRO THIS IS
“I DO love them” hhhhhh
the special sauce thing is sending me im sorry
“can we rescue the beer?” RHYS
‘Ianto you beautiful man, you did it!” THEY!!! THEY!!!!!!
i wanna make it clear that i don’t ship rhys and ianto but i think they are so cute as friends
guys im in tears right now
the way rhys goes from not wanting ianto here to not wanting him to leave,,, um its a simple arc but i’d also do anything for it
RHYS AND GWEN RHYS AND GWEN RHYS AND GWEN ANDHDHSGHFAOSDLSDLHD
“OH HE’S ADORABLE WHATS HE CALLED?” me when i first saw Ianto Jones onscreen
“he’s a colleague of the missus,,,,,, and a friend” why don’t you just shoot me in the head hm
rhysie,,, baby,,, holy shit you need to go to therapy,,, just like,,, have a chat with janet the weevil and see how you feel after
funny how rhys fucking williams is handling loss so much better than ANY of torchwood. like jack got PREGNANT after losing owen+tosh. Ianto started having sex with his immortal boss after losing his girlfriend. healthy coping mechanisms? who is she?
they let rhys say fuck a lot in this audio and that is Very Sexy of Them
“bunny has run away with my tie” h e s s o f u c k i n g p r e c i o u s
“lads lads lads” AHHHHHHHHH
this audio. is. so good. so cute. so sad. BIG FINISH YOU DID IT AGAIN YOU SEXY BASTARDS YOU!!!!
#torchwood#big finish#rhys and ianto's excellent barbecue#audio spoilers: rhys and ianto's excellent barbecue#audio spoilers: the barbecue one#big finish spoilers#big finish ranting#i loved this one can you tell#torchwood big finish#ianto jones#rhys williams#gareth david lloyd#kai owen#cw: swearing
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 4
Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!
Word Count: 9.5k
Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @moon-stars-soul, @danadeacon, @deacyblues, @thesundrop, @cupidben, @lostlittlenerd, @delilahmay39, @timmvrphy, @queenmylovely, @loveandbeloved29, @free-pool-trash, @fairestkillerqueenofall, @local-troubled-writer, @babyalienfairy, @littlecarowrites, @allthethingsicant, @im-an-adult-ish, @mirkwoodshewolf, @squishy-gay-astronaut, @sherlollydramoine, @butlegendsneverdie, @dogmom2014
If you’d like to be added, let me know!
A/N: Alright, we are halfway through the season! The drama continues this week on The Bachelorette!
Warning(s): None
Night 1 Week 1 Week 2 Week 3
Week 4 here we go!!!
London was beautiful. You had never been before, so you were eager to explore somewhere new. Plus, you knew several of the guys would be familiar with it. This was an opportunity to see their world. And that was exactly what you planned to do.
The men settled into their hotel suite. It was a large, airy place, with a wide balcony overlooking the city. Then men all gathered on the balcony to take in the view.
“I’ve never seen Big Ben before,” said Mike. “Except in pictures.”
“What are you talking about?” Joe teased. “He’s right here.”
He pointed to Ben, who laughed. “That’s a much bigger Ben than I am.”
Joe then wrapped his arms around Ben in a bear hug. “Well, we’ve got the best Ben.”
“That, we do,” agreed Gwilym, who reached out and pinched Ben’s cheek.
Ben laughed more and flushed. Then all the guys gathered in a group hug.
Of course, Luke was not with them. He was inside, journaling by himself. After everything that happened, he avoided the other men, and they avoided him right back. So, he missed out on the bond that had formed between the rest of them. Despite all competing for the same woman, they had become solid friends.
When there was a knock on the door for the date card, Mike went to go get it. Everyone watched the hallway anxiously. Then, they all heard him release a delighted cry. They exchanged confused looks. Mike returned without a date card, but with something much better. You.
They all cheered when they saw you and engulfed you in a warm group hug. Then they all settled back onto the couches so you could catch your breath.
“Welcome to London, guys,” you said, scanning their faces. “I’m really, really happy with the group that’s still here, and I hope that we can just continue this crazy journey all together.”
“How are you enjoying it?” Taron asked.
“Well, I haven’t gotten to see much, but so far, I love London,” you said. “In fact, I came here today for someone to explore it with me.”
They all watched you, hoping you would say their own names.
“Gwilym,” you said, finding his eyes. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“I’d be honored,” he replied, getting to his feet.
You smiled and followed suit, holding out your hand to him. You could see the disappointment on some of the other men’s faces, but you were relieved that they also seemed genuinely happy for Gwilym. Maybe you really could leave all the drama behind.
You and Gwilym waved goodbye and headed out the door. You went out on the streets of London hand in hand.
“I’m gonna let you take the lead here,” you told him. “You live here, right?”
“I do,” he chuckled. “I’m not originally from London, but I live here now.”
“Well, show me around, stud!” you urged.
He laughed again and you were off. Gwilym walked you around almost everywhere that was nearby. He was knowledgeable about the history of everything too. That was one of the most attractive things about Gwilym to you. He was so well-read and intelligent. But it never came off as condescending. He was still incredibly kind and humble as well.
You stopped inside a pub to eat and grab a drink after all the walking. You ordered fish and chips because that’s what you’d always heard in the movies. Gwilym laughed beside you and kissed you on the cheek.
You each had a beer as you waited for the food.
“So,” you said as you sipped. “How are you since we last talked?”
“Very well,” he answered. “I’m excited to be getting to know you better and see where we go from here.”
“I’m excited too,” you said. “Every time I think about our connection, I always feel hopeful.”
“Hopeful?” he questioned.
“Yeah,” you said. “Since you told me your story, I feel like you’re the most hopeful person in the world. What you went through was...unbelievably sad. And yet, you’re still here, looking for love, pursuing it wholeheartedly. It makes me hopeful too.”
He smiled sadly at the glass in front of him.
“I’m flattered by your admiration,” he said. “Losing her - especially the way I did - was the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through. We actually moved to London together from our little town, so coming here with you really is like a fresh start. It’s making me feel like I’m re-discovering it.”
“Is that a good feeling or a bad one?” you asked.
“It’s bittersweet,” he said. “I feel like sometimes, I still miss her so much, and it still hurts like an open wound. And other times I feel like I’m fine.”
“That’s sort of how grief works,” you told him. “Moving on from something like that isn’t a linear projection until you’re over it. You have setbacks. You’re still allowed to be sad and confused sometimes.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “I guess what I’m trying to say is...despite all of what happened and all the hurt, you have made me hopeful. What I’m feeling for you is something so good that I fully believe that love can happen for me again.”
A smile spread slowly across your face as he spoke. You leaned over and kissed him sweetly, conveying your absolute adoration of that sentiment. Gwilym was so deserving of love, and you wanted to show him that.
Your food came, and you split the plate between you. It tasted amazing, and as you ate the fries, an idea came to you.
“How good is your eye-mouth coordination?” you asked.
He blinked. “My what?”
You giggled. “Like, if I toss you some fries, can you catch them in your mouth?”
“Depends on how well you throw them,” he retorted. “The real question should be how good is your aim?”
“Oh?” you returned, raising a challenging eyebrow.
“Yes,” he said. “And since we are in the UK, they’re chips. Not fries.”
You snatched one off the plate and tossed it at him, hitting him square in the nose.
“Looks like my aim is pretty good there, chief,” you teased.
You threw another, and this time he caught it in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.
“Okay, we make a pretty good team,” he said through a laugh.
You threw a few more to him, and he caught most. However, when he threw them to you, your catching abilities were abysmal. You blamed it on Gwilym’s arm, and he let you.
It felt really good to sit and laugh with him. You felt like many of your conversations with Gwil were so serious. So to be lighthearted and goof around with him showed you another side of him. A side you were glad existed.
After lunch, you continued to walk around a bit. Then Gwilym stopped at an intersection, tugging your hand to stop you from crossing the street. You shot him a quizzical look.
“Gwil?”
“If we turn right here,” he said. “We can get to my flat in five minutes. I’m not presuming anything by asking this, but would you like to come over and see it?”
You looked down so he wouldn’t see the deep blush creeping up in your cheeks. On any other date, this would have implied sex, but you two were on camera, being followed by a whole crew. You weren’t embarrassed by that. You were embarrassed that you were disappointed they were there. You were really attracted to Gwilym, and would not have turned down that invitation outside of this.
Actually, you weren’t going to turn it down either way.
“Yeah, let’s go,” you said, looking back up at him.
“Great,” he replied with a grin.
God, he was handsome.
Gwilym’s place was humble and cozy. He opened the door and allowed you inside, and you felt like he had just done the same with his heart. Everything about this place screamed “Gwilym Lee.” You walked through the front and into the sitting room, which had aged leather furniture and warm lamplight. The kitchen was smaller than what you were used to in the US, with a vintage look. It was also strictly practical.
Gwilym also had books everywhere. There was a half shelf in the sitting room beside the fireplace. A corner of the kitchen counter was dedicated to recipe books. They were also randomly on whatever surfaces he had set them down on while reading. You pictured him walking around, nose to the pages, glasses on, focused.
He had few decorations, but there were plenty of pictures. Some of his family and friends. But the majority appeared to be of him with his students. Gwilym was a literature professor, and he was clearly dedicated to his work.
“Would you like to see upstairs?” he offered. “There’s something really special up there I’d like to show you.”
“Please,” you said.
You followed him up the wooden staircase to the second floor. There were only a few rooms up here. Gwilym’s bedroom, a guest bedroom, a hallway bathroom, and one more door at the end of the hall. That was where he led you.
He opened the door, and you gasped at the side. Across each wall, floor to ceiling - bookshelves. Fully stocked, too. There were thick, leather bound reference books. Paperback novels. Limited edition classics. Everything you could imagine for a personal collection.
“This is my library,” he said, looking between the shelves and your face.
You wondered if you looked stupid with your mouth hanging open. Gwilym’s eyes shone as he gazed at you. How beautiful you were to him in this moment was beyond words.
“Gwil, this is incredible!” you cried. “Your very own library!”
He smiled. “Take a look around, see what you like!”
You went to the first shelf to your right and extracted a worn-looking book. The spine was damaged so you couldn’t read the title until you opened it.
“Anna Karenina,” you read.
“Ah, that’s quite a special one,” he said. “Very close to my heart. It’s my grandmother’s copy. If you look at the publication date, you’ll see why it’s so special.”
Your eyes scanned the page until you found it.
“1890?!” you gasped.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “She inherited it from her great-aunt. Because I collect so many books, she left it to me.”
“That’s amazing,” you said.
“Have you ever read it?” he asked.
“I have,” you said. “It’s a tragic story, but one of my favorite classics. This is a real treasure.”
“It is,” he agreed as you returned it to the shelf.
“You’re free to keep looking, if you like,” he offered.
You did. You perused the shelves and spotted another favorite.
“Oh, Summer of Katya!” you said. “I loved this book!”
“Another tragedy,” he said.
“Yeah, but what a wild ride,” you replied. “That plot twist had me shook for days.”
“Me as well,” he said. “A great story.”
“So, how many of these books have you actually read?” you wondered as you set Summer of Katya back.
“All of them.”
Your mouth fell open again.
“All of them?”
“All of them,” he laughed.
“That would take me the rest of my life!” you cried looking around again.
Gwilym watched you as you walked along the shelves, and you stopped to talk about a few more things. A small smile claimed his lips. You stopped talking and met his gaze.
“What?” you wondered. “What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “It’s just...you sort of seem to belong here in my home.”
You beamed. “I like feeling like I belong to the things you love, Gwilym.”
He held out his hand, which you took. With it, he pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. You sort of felt like you belonged there too. Maybe you could. And maybe spend much of your life in this room, picking out what to read next before crawling into bed beside your husband. That would be a rather heavenly way to live.
For the evening portion of your date, you and Gwil met at a bar right on the River Thames. Like usual, it was reserved for just the two of you to enjoy your date. You sat down together and you smiled at him before making a small toast.
After you each had a bit of your drinks, you took his hand.
“I really had a great time with you today,” you said. “I feel like, so balanced with you. We can be serious, we can laugh together, and we can have intellectual discussions too. I feel like I can be every part of myself around you.”
“I’m relieved,” he told you. “And I feel the same. I haven’t struggled in opening up to you, and that's really nice.”
“Can I admit something to you?” you asked.
“In the spirit of such honesty, I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” he teased.
You chuckled and glanced down at your lap before looking back at him.
“When you first told me you’re a professor, I was really intimidated by you,” you said.
“Intimidated by me?” he questioned.
“I was nervous that you were going to think that I’m dumb,” you said.
He pursed his mouth in confusion. “W...why would I think that?”
“Because I feel like…” you trailed off. “I dunno, I’m not the most well-read person in the world, and I enjoy things that in the academic world might seem frivolous or silly. I try to keep up with current events, but I get distracted, and I think that all of that put together I -”
“Hold on,” he cut across you. “Y/N, none of that amounts to intelligence. You don’t have to read every book in my library or know every detail of Brexit to convince me that you’re smart. You are smart. A lot smarter than me in many ways.”
“Thank you,” you said, blushing.
“Can I ask you something?” he wondered.
“Of course.”
“Who told you that you’re dumb?”
You blinked, unsure how to answer him.
“Hardly anybody thinks they’re dumb on their own,” he went on. “Which leads me to believe that somebody, somewhere convinced you of it.”
You blinked again, this time to get rid of the tears welling up in your eyes.
“I...I, uh, had an ex who said that to me a lot,” you answered at last. “Anytime I disagreed with him or tried to address something he’d done to upset me, he told me I was being stupid, or that I didn’t understand anything. So, I kind of just became convinced that I wasn’t very smart.”
“Let me tell you what I see,” he said. “In all my conversations with you, I’ve found you to be not only extremely clever, but also funny, kind, and giving. In fact, my admiration has grown so much that I can finally say…” he trailed off.
You had been forming a smile as he spoke, but when he hesitated, it faltered.
“Say what?” you pressed.
“Y/N, I’m falling in love with you,” he said. “It seems unbelievable that it should happen so fast. But you are exactly the kind of girl I’d like to be with for the rest of my life.”
You smiled so wide, you thought your face might crack. Then you leaned over and took his face in your hands to kiss him.
“Gwilym, I’m so happy to hear you say that,” you told him when you parted. “I feel like we’re really progressing. And I don’t want to stop.” You reached across the table and picked up the rose that was waiting there. “So, Gwilym. Will you accept this rose?”
“You know I will,” he replied, kissing you again.
Gwilym was very much a gentleman when he kissed you. It was slightly reserved, but with enough passion for you to feel how much he wanted to do more. Each move was thoughtful and considerate, just like him.
Gwilym: I really am falling for Y/N. I hate that she’s been with such terrible men in the past. She deserves so much more. I’d like to give her that.
You pinned the rose to his jacket and then you grinned at each other.
“You ready to go?” you asked.
“Go where?” he wondered.
“One of the most iconic places in London,” you said.
You offered your hand. He took it and followed you out. You walked together down the street until you reached it. The London Eye.
“Oh, God,” he sighed. “We’re really doing this?”
“Yes!” you insisted.
You had a whole pod reserved for the two of you. You were excited as you went up, but the higher you got, you also grew nervous. You clutched Gwilym’s hand.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re frightened,” he teased. “You went bungee jumping in the mountains!”
“I was scared of that too!” you returned.
“Come here, cariad,” he said gently, pulling you into his arms once again.
You leaned on him and looked out over the city. The sight was breathtaking. All the lights from the buildings looked like stars. The way they reflected off the river was stunning. You felt like you were looking down from outer space or something.
“This view is beautiful,” you said.
“I like mine better,” he replied.
You faced him and saw that his his eyes were fixed on you instead of London.
“Smooth,” you giggled.
“Kiss me,” he breathed.
You did. This kiss was different. It was deeper, more intentional, more open than your kisses before. Gwilym was fully giving himself to you and this process. To accent your joy perfectly, a fireworks show began over the river. You hardly noticed their colors or the sounds. Everything was just you and Gwilym.
Back at the house, the men were waiting for a date card. A few guys were bemoaning not being with you right now, but were holding out hope for a one on one. When there was a knock at the door, Richard went to fetch it. He returned with a card.
“It’s a group date,” he said. “Joe, Rami, Allen, Taron, Richard, Mike, and Kenny. Are you ready to meet Her Majesty? Ayyyy-yo! Y/N.”
“Ay-yo?” questioned Allen.
“What, like Freddie Mercury?” suggested Rami.
“What would Freddie Mercury have to do with a date, though?” Taron wondered.
“We’ll figure that out tomorrow,” said Mike. “With all of us on this date, that means…”
“Me and Luke are left,” Ben said with a heavy sigh. “It’s gonna be a two on one.”
A two on one meant a lot of risk because at least one of the people on it would be sent home on the date. It made Ben nervous because even though Luke’s behavior was atrocious, you kept him around, so there had to be a real connection there. Also, he was still angry at Luke for starting that stupid drama in the first place.
“I’m not worried,” Luke said. “Y/N and I have overcome a lot and I think that makes for a strong foundation.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Whatever, man. Just don’t tell her any more sh*t you’ve made up about me.”
“I didn’t make anything up,” Luke returned. “I heard what I heard.”
“You didn’t hear anything because I. Never. Said. It.” Ben shot back.
“Neither did I,” Joe added. “But let’s leave this in the past, okay? All any of us can do is focus on our own relationships with her.”
Luke and Ben glowered at each other a moment longer before looking away.
The next day, everyone but Gwilym, Ben, and Luke, got on a bus and headed out from the hotel. Mike, Kenny, and Joe had never been to London before, so they were in awe of the city as they made their way to the unknown destination.
Taron: I feel terrible for Ben and what he’s going to face tomorrow, but I’m also really glad Luke isn’t here to ruin the group date again. Those of us here are actually decent blokes, so I think it’ll be a fun day.
“Is that Wembley Stadium?” Joe wondered, pointing in the direction the bus was heading.
“It is,” said Richard.
The group exchanged apprehensive looks as they were dropped off at the legendary arena and escorted into it.
Inside, on the field, was a stage setup. You stood center stage, smiling at the men. You were wearing all white - a white v-neck tank top, and white pants with a red and yellow racing stripe up the sides, belted at the waist. You also donned a yellow, military style leather jacket.
“Hello, gentlemen!” you greeted as they climbed up the stairs to join you. “Welcome to Wembley Stadium! How many of y’all have been here before?”
Taron, Richard, Allen, and Rami raised their hands. Joe, Mike, and Kenny did not. They were also the ones still looking around, while the others stayed focused on you.
“Well, surely you all know about the legendary concert that took place here in 1985, Live Aid,” you said, and they nodded. “And I’m sure you know which act stole the show.”
“Queen,” said Rami.
“Yep!” you confirmed. “So we’re gonna have some fun today. You’re all going to be dressed like Freddie Mercury and give me your best Live Aid performance.”
Their eyes widened as they looked at you, and you bit back a laugh.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be lip-syncing,” you assured them. “There also won’t be an audience. The person who does the best job gets to talk to me first at the cocktail party tonight.”
“Will you be the judge?” Taron asked.
“Actually, I won’t, I’m just enjoying the show,” you said. “The judges are some very special people who are quite familiar with Freddie.”
“Oh my God…” Rami said under his breath.
You smirked. “Guys, please welcome Queen and Adam Lambert!”
The guys clapped as Brian May, Roger Taylor, and Adam Lambert emerged onto the stage. They first hugged you and then turned to face the men.
Richard: I can’t believe this...it’s f***ing Queen! We’re on a date with Queen! I mean - we’re on a date with Y/N - but Queen is there! I’m blown away right now!
“Hullo, guys,” said Brian with a gentle wave. “We just wanted to let you all know - don’t be nervous. This is meant to be something fun to show Y/N you can come out of your shell a bit.”
“Yes, have fun,” Roger agreed. “Don’t be afraid to make an arse out of yourself. Freddie certainly wasn’t.”
Everyone chuckled.
“So, you guys have fifteen minutes to change and decide on one song from the Live Aid set you want to do,” Adam explained. “You can watch the clip of your choice as much as you want in that fifteen minutes.”
“The costumes are backstage,” you said. “You guys ready?”
They nodded at you.
“Okay, fifteen minutes starts now!”
While the guys got changed and prepared, you and the band went around and checked up on them. You went over to Mike first, who was watching the video of Live Aid and scrubbing through it quickly.
“How’s it going?” you asked.
“Okay,” he replied. “I don’t really know any Queen songs, so I’m listening for something that sounds familiar.”
“You know We Will Rock You?” you wondered.
“I know those words of it,” he laughed.
You giggled. “Well, I’d go for that one, then. It’s second to last.”
“Thank you,” he sighed.
You looked over and saw Rami chatting with Brian. Richard was talking to Roger, and Allen and Kenny were talking to Adam. Everyone was in the iconic white tank top and light wash jeans. They also had the studded armband and mustache. You went over to Taron next.
“How’re you feeling?” you asked.
“I know what song I’ll do,” he told you. “Bohemian Rhapsody. That way I can sit behind a piano for most of it.”
“Nice,” you chuckled. “You play, right?”
“I do,” he said. “Although, as you learned on our Disney date, I’m much more of an Elton John man than Queen. Don’t get me wrong, I adore them, but Elton is more my style.”
“I’d love to hear you play some Elton for me sometime,” you said. “But honestly, now is the time to get out of your comfort zone and show me your edge, Taron.”
“I’ll do anything for you, love,” he replied with a grin.
Then you headed over to Rami.
“Hey, sweetie,” you said as he pulled you into a hug.
When you parted, you had to take a moment. Rami really looked like Freddie for a split second. With the mustache and the clothes...he had even styled his hair. He was getting really into this.
“Woah, you look great!” you said.
“Thanks,” he returned. “I’m really excited for this.”
“I know you’re an actor, so you’re not too worried,” you joked. “Which song did you pick?”
“Radio GaGa,” he told you.
“Good choice,” you praised.
You chatted with Rami for another moment before moving on to Richard.
“Just be grateful we picked Live Aid and not one of our shows from the seventies,” Roger was saying as you approached. “You’d all be in leotards.”
“I dunno, I think I could make it work,” Richard returned with a chuckle.
“I definitely think you could make it work,” you agreed. “How’s it going over here?”
“Pretty good,” Richard said. “I know what I’m going to do.”
“Awesome!” you said. “You a big Queen fan?”
“Massive Queen fan,” he told you. “This is kind of a dream for me.”
“I think you’ve found your man, Y/N,” Roger teased. “This one’s clearly got the best taste.”
You laughed.
The fifteen minutes went by more quickly than you anticipated, but most of the guys seemed ready. There were a few nerves you could feel, but they weren’t too bad. Kenny was up first.
Kenny did “We Are the Champions” and he was pretty good. He clearly knew the words, but he was also nervous and shy. You found that surprising since he was a pro wrestler and part of his act was to put on a bit of a show. You cut him some slack, though. This was out of his element.
Taron was second, and he was better. His performance did come out more like Elton than like Freddie, but he was really feeling the music. You could tell he had wanted to play and sing himself, so he was holding back a little bit.
Mike was third. He did “We Will Rock You” and had a lot of energy, but it was more his own than like Freddie. You didn’t mind, since you liked Mike’s style, but it didn’t bode well for him as far as the competition went.
Allen was fourth, and he did “Hammer to Fall.” So far, he came the closest to looking like Freddie up on stage. He was upbeat and had obviously studied the movements. The only problem was that it came off a little too rehearsed.
Richard went next. He had the same idea as Taron to do “Bohemian Rhapsody” so he wouldn’t have to move around so much. He was even more reserved than Taron. Evidently, he was not much of a performer at all, despite how much he loved the music.
Joe was sixth. He did “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” It was similar in idea to Taron and Richard, because he got to use an instrument. Joe could actually play guitar, so he mimed it well. Like Mike, he was more Joe than Freddie. Joe wasn’t a shy person at all, so he was still entertaining.
Finally, it was Rami. From the first notes of “Radio GaGa,” you could tell there was something different about Rami’s performance. Every move, every step, every turn was intentional, but looked effortlessly Freddie. It took you off guard. Rami looked the most like Freddie, and with this performance, you were convinced he had a spiritual connection to the man. You looked over at Brian and Roger. Brian had tears in his eyes. Roger was closing his mouth just as you looked. They saw it too. Adam placed a comforting hand on each of their shoulders.
When Rami finished, the whole arena was deathly silent. All eyes were fixed on Rami, who stood breathless on stage, but looking proud. He also looked like...not Rami. That last note rang out, and for a moment, it was as if Freddie himself stood there.
Finally, Roger cleared his throat.
“Well done,” he choked out. “We’ll just need a...a moment to uh, discuss.”
The band walked out of earshot for a moment and you approached Rami.
“I think you shook them up,” you said. “You certainly shook me up.”
He shot you a worried glance.
“In a good way,” you assured him. “Believe me, you were incredible.”
The band returned and appeared to have recovered from their shock.
“Everybody did a fine job,” Brian began. “Just remember to not be so shy. Show Y/N that you can open up and be yourself.”
“This really brought me back,” Roger added. “But one person in particular really captured Freddie’s spirit today.”
“And that person is Rami,” Adam announced.
You let out a cheer and clapped for Rami, and the rest of the men joined you. You hugged him around the neck as you congratulated him.
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said bashfully.
“Congratulations, Rami,” Brian said. “Enjoy your time with Y/N first tonight, and remember to use it wisely.”
Everyone thanked the band for their part, and got autographs before they left. Then it was time for the evening portion of the date. It was still at Wembley, in a private box, which overlooked the field. The stage set up had been removed already, so it was returned to its sport ready look. It was still lit up in the darkness by the stadium lights.
You met the men in the box and gave a toast. Then, you took Rami by the hand and led him out. Also reserved for you was the next box over, so you could have private conversations. You and Rami went in there and sat down to chat.
“You were seriously amazing today,” you told him. “That was like, Oscar worthy.”
He chuckled. “I dunno about all that, but I definitely had fun. Freddie Mercury is pretty special to me.”
“Why’s that?” you wondered.
“Well, we sort have a lot in common,” he said. “We’re both kinda awkward brown boys from immigrant families, but with a lot of dreams.”
“I can see that,” you said. “You feel that strongly about acting?”
“I do,” he said. “I take it very seriously. I believe in myself, and I hope that someday I can be big enough to win an Oscar. I wanna be like Freddie, where kids who look like me can start believing that they can succeed too.”
You loved that idea and what it represented. The only thing for you was that actors were away a lot, and you wanted to raise a family. With a partner.
“How does that dream fall in with your desire to have a family?” you asked.
“Lots of actors have families,” he said. “I’m already settled in LA, where most of the jobs are, and that’s where I’d want to raise my family. And I’d work with my partner to make sure my schedule didn’t interfere with important things. I know it won’t be easy, but I am family oriented, and I know I can do both. But the last thing I wanna do is settle.”
“Settle?” you questioned.
“I mean, I don’t want to take some safe, nine-to-five job just because I want to get married and have a family,” he said. “I want to pursue my dreams so that my kids will have someone they can really be proud of. Someone who didn’t give up on his passion.”
You smiled. “I like that. You’re a very driven person, Rami, I hadn’t noticed that about you before.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re learning now,” he said. “I am driven and focused and there’s a lot I want out of life.”
You both paused to sip your drinks.
“What about you?” he said. “What are you passionate about?”
“I’m most passionate about family,” you said. “I didn’t really have those connections as a kid. My family isn’t very close. I want that unit, that strength that comes with being together.”
“That’s a beautiful sentiment,” he said. “Is there anything else?”
“Like what?” you wondered.
“Like hobbies,” he said. “Y/N, don’t you have interests besides that?”
“I read a lot,” you told him. “And I like fashion and beauty, but those are just normal girl things.”
“Are you kidding?” he returned. “There’s a lot there to go with. Do you ever design your own stuff?”
You blushed. “I...well, I do sort of have this dream of starting my own clothing label.”
“That’s awesome!” he said excitedly. “Tell me more!”
“Well, I’d want to use all recycled materials so we’re not being wasteful,” you said. “That way it’s like thrifting, but you’ll still get the latest styles. Everything would just be re-designed and…” you trailed off. “Sorry. It’s kind of a silly idea.”
“Not at all!” he insisted. “I think it’s a great idea. Environmentally friendly and everything. That’s amazing, Y/N. Don’t doubt yourself.”
“You certainly help me believe in it,” you replied, all embarrassment fading away at his enthusiasm.
“I want to help you believe in yourself,” he said. “It’s important to me.”
“It is?”
“Yes, Y/N,” he said. “I want to be there for you. I’m falling in love with you and I want to help you see yourself through my eyes.”
Your heart skipped a beat. You grinned.
“You’re falling in love with me?”
“More and more every day,” he assured you.
With that, he kissed you. Rami’s kisses were always deeply passionate and romantic. It made you feel like you two were on the cover of a romance novel or something. You felt like you were in your own romance novel because you were falling for Rami too. He was just so special.
Rami: I really am falling in love with Y/N. I can just see a wonderful future with her as my wife. She’s everything you could ever want.
After Rami, Joe wanted to see you. Your time with Joe went as well as it usually did. You laughed together a lot and discussed the date. He reassured you that he was falling for you. You were tempted to say it back, but hesitated. You felt strongly for Joe, but there was still more to explore there.
Allen pulled you after Joe. You were still holding back with Allen, and you felt that he was too. He had told you more of his story on your one on one, but since then, you hadn’t had a serious conversation. You didn’t feel uncomfortable around him or anything, but there was something more you wanted. Like he was only giving himself partially to this. You wanted him to give everything.
Richard came next. Similar to Allen, he held back from you. He had divulged even less information about himself. Less than any of the other men there. Richard was fun and easygoing, but you wanted him to dig deeper. He just wasn’t going there. You needed to find out why.
Taron followed after Richard. Taron was not afraid of giving his heart to you, and you could feel it ever since that one on one. Every time you spoke to him, the relationship moved forward, in the right direction. You always looked forward to your time with him, and today was no different.
There was a piano in the private box, and Taron made good on his promise to play for you. He began with “Your Song” by Elton John, one of your favorites. His voice was swoon-worthy, and you loved listening. Each time he sang, you pictured him in your house together, singing your kids to sleep or just serenading you before bed. He felt like home to you.
“Life really is wonderful with you in the world, Y/N,” he said as he finished. “It’s becoming pretty difficult to imagine my life without you in it.”
“That’s sweet,” you said. “I’d have a hard time without you, too.”
“Really, Y/N,” he said. “I’m falling in love with you. Hard.”
You met his gaze, heart racing with joy.
“I’m so happy you told me,” you whispered. “You’re amazing, Taron.”
He kissed you. Short and sweet because neither of you could stop smiling.
Mike and Kenny also made things difficult on you because they both told you they were falling in love as well. You felt like all of them deserved roses tonight, but you knew who you wanted the rose to go to. As you all gathered back in the original box, you picked it up off the table.
“Thank you all for an incredible day,” you said. “We got a bit of a rock concert and I got to see you all just have a good time. But I wanna give this rose to someone who really proved himself today. Who showed me something new and moved our relationship forward.”
You found Rami’s eyes.
“Rami, will you accept this rose?”
“I will,” he assured you, getting to his feet.
You pinned it to his jacket as he kissed your cheek. Then, you bid them all goodnight. You were still riding the high of the day when you remembered that the following day, you had your two on one with Ben and Luke.
The date card arrived for Ben and Luke while the rest of the men were at the cocktail party with you. Gwilym retrieved it and read it out loud.
“Ben and Luke,” he said. “I want us to grow. Love, Y/N.”
“Let’s just get this over with,” Ben groaned.
“What, eager to go home?” Luke taunted.
Ben rolled his eyes and went to his room for the night.
The next day, Ben and Luke each placed their luggage by the door. Whoever went home, the producers would come and take their luggage to the airport. The two men were driven by car to meet you in a lovely garden and park. Everything was blooming so it was the perfect time of year for a date like this. You just wished you weren’t dreading it so much. One of them was going home, but you felt like you needed time with both of them. Hopefully today would be enough.
“Hi, guys,” you greeted, trying to sound chipper as they hugged you one by one. “So today, we’re having a picnic in the park. It’s really beautiful here, so let’s have a good day, yeah?”
“O’course,” Ben agreed.
“Definitely,” Luke added.
“Okay, let’s go.”
You led them over the set up that was reserved for you. It was a small table with three chairs around it. You sat first - in between them - and then poured everyone a glass of champagne. The champagne was more for you, really. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, and you needed to feel at ease. These two had such animosity between them.
“So, Luke, you wanna go talk?” you asked.
“Sure, yeah,” he agreed.
You walked around a hedge to another small table. You took a swig of your drink and then looked at him.
“So, I know you’re not over everything that happened in Asheville, and neither am I,” you said.
“No, I’m over it,” he protested. “Really, I’m not mad at you anymore. I wanna move on.”
“I wanna move on too,” you said. “But I feel like we have to talk about this because this is a disagreement on something fundamental, and I don’t think you understand that.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Like, you were angry at me for taking off my clothes in front of Joe,” you said. “Because of your beliefs, you felt like it was disrespectful. I don’t know any other way to tell you that I don’t share those beliefs and you can’t force them on me.”
“I don’t want to force them on you,” he said. “But I think that you should be more aware of our feelings in this and behave - y’know - properly.”
That familiar anger stirred in the pit of your stomach.
“Okay, Luke, I behaved just fine -”
“Really?” he scoffed. “Getting naked in front of a guy on your first date with him is fine behavior?”
You could have screamed.
“Oh my God,” you sighed. “Let’s get one thing straight, okay? I can do whatever the hell I want. This is my journey, it’s my body, and whatever I decide to do with it is up to me and not subject to your approval.”
“Y/N, I’m just trying to help you,” he said gently. “I prayed about it, and I feel like my purpose here is to save you.”
“To save me?” you questioned.
“You’re being led astray by these other men,” he said. “But together, we can -”
“Okay, Luke, stop,” you said. “We’re not getting into theological arguments today. Clearly, it doesn’t matter to you that I don’t want to hear it. The other thing we need to address is why you lied about Joe and Ben.”
“I didn’t lie,” he insisted. “I know what I heard.”
“But none of the other guys heard it,” you reminded him. “And if they said it out loud, they said it to someone with ears, so they must have heard it. Just be honest and tell me why you did it.”
“I know I heard that conversation, Y/N,” he said firmly. “I’m not a liar.”
“So literally every other guy in that house is?” you challenged.
“Y/N, please,” he begged. “I love you. I want this more than anything. And look at what we’ve overcome.”
“Luke, we haven’t overcome anything!” you cried. “We’re still working this out because you’re not being honest with me!”
“I’m telling you my truth!” he returned.
A beat passed in uncomfortable silence.
“Do you believe me when I say that I love you?” he asked.
You held his gaze. Then you took a deep breath.
“No,” you said heavily.
He looked away, unable to form words.
Ben: I’m kind of nervous about today. She’s kept him around long enough for me to think there must really be something there that I’m not seeing. I just hope my connection with her is stronger.
You and Luke returned to where Ben was still waiting. Nothing else had been said. You grabbed Ben’s hand and led him away next, desperate for some relief. Luke made you feel like every step of this process was such a battle. Ben excited you, and you hoped he still did.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Okay,” you said. “I’m sorry to put you through this, I know it’s not easy.”
“No worries, love,” he said. “You’re worth all of this. Every part of this journey.”
You smiled, and you felt warmth returning to your body. You realized within seconds of talking to Ben that Luke made you feel cold and closed off. Ben made you feel warm and open. That was the feeling you were looking for.
“How are you?” you asked him.
“I’m perfect, now I’m with you,” he replied. “I’m not going to lie, watching the other guys going out with you throughout the week isn’t easy, but I’m here for the long haul. I’m ready to stick it out if it means you and me at the end.”
You leaned into his chest and hummed happily. He wrapped his arms around you. Then he pressed his lips to the top of your head. You felt cared for and respected.
“I can’t tell you how relieved I was that you believed me last week,” he said. “Knowing that you trust me, and you’re willing to hear from everyone, it makes me fall for you all the more. You’re fair and kind and patient. I dunno how you put up with the lot of us.”
You giggled and then looked up at him.
“Well, you’re all so handsome, it’s hard to stay mad at you,” you teased.
“I see,” he joked back. “You’re just in it for the eye candy.”
“Haven’t you heard?” you asked sarcastically. “I’m actually looking for a trophy husband.”
He chuckled. “It’s almost hard for me to joke about, since I actually like almost everyone.”
You smiled. “Really?”
“You’ve got a fantastic group here,” he said. “As heartbroken as I’d be if it’s not me and you, I know you’d be in good hands.”
“That’s so sweet, Ben,” you said.
You felt such a soft affection for him in this moment. That comment made one thing abundantly clear to you: Ben wanted only what was best for you, whatever made you happiest, even if it wasn’t him. You wondered how he’d never been in love before, when he gave it so freely and selflessly. Your value to him did not hinge on your behavior with the other men.
You chatted with Ben a while longer, just trying to forget about what Luke had said. Plus, you liked Ben a lot and enjoyed talking to him. It was quickly becoming more than liking him, which scared you a little, but you knew he would be there to catch you once you fell. You were still teetering on the edge.
Your decision was made when you returned to where Luke waited. There was no need to give him any more chances. You didn’t trust him anymore, and you had such different beliefs, it never would work out. You sat down and picked up the rose.
“I’m gonna be perfectly honest and say that this was not a very difficult decision for me today,” you said. “So far, this has been the easiest decision I’ve made.”
You looked at Ben and decided to get right to it.
“Ben, will you accept this rose?”
You heard Luke suck in a soft breath as you and Ben stood up. You pinned the rose on him and hugged him tight. Then you looked at Luke.
“Can I walk you out?” you asked.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, still dazed.
“I’ll be right back,” you told Ben.
You and Luke walked together toward the car that was waiting to take him to the airport. Ben heaved a relieved sigh and sat back down with a wide grin on his face.
Back at the house, Joe was closest to the door when he heard it open. The producer was there to take the luggage.
“Guys!” Joe yelled. “It’s happening!”
The rest of the men rushed to the door to find out who it was. They watched with bated breath as the producer’s hand stretched out and grabbed Luke’s luggage. They all roared with delight and began jumping and hugging each other as the door closed again. Luke was leaving at last!
“Hold on, let me get champagne!” Gwilym cried, jogging to the kitchen.
They all followed him, still laughing and congratulating each other. Gwilym handed out the glasses and Joe stood on the counter to make a toast.
“To Ben,” he said. “For getting that f***er out of here at last.”
“To Ben!” the others echoed before taking a drink.
“And to Y/N,” Rami said. “For making the right choice.”
“Y/N!” they cried, and they all downed their drinks.
Back on the date, you walked Luke to the black van waiting for him. You stood outside the door to let him say something.
“I just…” he trailed off. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry, Luke,” you said. “We’re just too different. We have different beliefs, different values. And we couldn’t move past those things.”
“But I love you,” he said.
You shook your head. “I don’t think you do. I think you love the woman that you want me to be. The version of me that you created who does take part in your faith and share that with you. But that’s not who I am.”
“I…” he lost words again.
“I really am sorry,” you said. “I hope you find that person.”
“Thanks,” he said dully.
You opened the door for him. He slid into the seat. You closed the door and watched the car pull away. You were certain you had done the right thing. Luke was so wrong for you in so many ways. But you meant what you said. You were sure that girl was out there somewhere for him. But he was not for you.
You hurried back to Ben and leapt into his arms when you saw him. You kissed him as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
“It’s just you and me tonight, baby!” you cried.
“Thank God!” he returned.
That night, you and Ben went to a fine restaurant and had a wonderful dinner. It was similar to your one on one, where the conversation flowed. You talked about serious things and lighthearted things. Neither of you brought up Luke again. Ben looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
After dinner, you walked around nearby and saw a street performer playing the cello. The melody was soaring and beautiful. Ben spun you into his arms and began to sway with you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood with him, heart full. He opened his eyes to meet yours.
“Y/N, I’m falling in love with you,” he said simply.
You saw how much he meant it in those beautiful green eyes of his. Tears welled up in yours. You were no longer teetering. You slipped right off the edge.
“I’m falling in love with you too,” you returned, without thinking.
You were not supposed to say “love” to anyone but the person you got engaged to, but you didn’t feel bad about breaking the rules for Ben. He had shown you today how much you meant to him. And he meant that much to you too. If you weren’t with him at the end of this, you wished only for him to have a happy and fulfilling life. You genuinely hoped he was at the end of this though because you weren’t ready to let him go. You weren’t sure you ever would be.
The following day, you once again decided to cancel the cocktail party. You knew where your heart was, and you didn’t want to drag out the whole night when your mind was made up. So when you arrived at the hotel, you were ready.
The hotel had a lovely ballroom on the first floor where you were having the rose ceremony. You walked in and forced a smile. This was going to be a pretty tough one. Two men would be leaving that you really liked.
“Sorry again for the cocktail party,” you said. “But I really am just trying to follow my heart.”
You waited a beat before picking up the first rose. There were only four.
“Joe,” you called.
He walked forward proudly.
“Joe, will you accept this rose?”
“I will.”
He returned to the group. You picked up the next rose.
“Taron,” you said.
He beamed at you and jogged up.
“Taron, will you accept this rose?” you asked with a smile, since his was contagious.
“Of course.”
You pinned it on him and he walked back over. You saw Richard take a deep breath.
“Richard,” you said.
He exhaled before walking over.
“Richard, will you accept this rose?”
“Always.”
As Richard returned to the group, Chris Harrison walked out.
“Y/N, gentlemen,” he said. “This is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready, Y/N.”
You picked up the rose. You found the man you wanted to give it to.
“Allen,” you said.
You saw the relief wash over him as he approached you.
“Allen, will you accept this rose?”
“I certainly will,” he assured you.
He walked back over to the group. Mike and Kenny looked dejected, and you understood why. It was never easy.
“Kenny, Mike, I’m sorry,” Chris said. “Take a moment, say your goodbyes.”
They took a while to say goodbye to the guys, which did sort of make you feel good. You liked that the remaining men were friends.
Kenny came up to you first.
“I’m sorry,” you said, suddenly choking on the words. You weren’t sure when the tears started. “You deserve so much -”
“Don’t, Y/N,” he said gently. “It was a pleasure getting to know you.”
You nodded and he pulled you into a hug.
“You’re gonna be amazing,” he whispered to you.
With that, he left and headed to the car waiting for him. Mike came up next. You actually sobbed. Mike was such a wonderful man, and you hated that you weren’t there with him.
“I’m so sorry,” you sniffled.
“It’s okay,” he assured you with a smile. “You’re beautiful and strong, okay? I know you’ll find your happiness.”
“You will too,” you replied softly.
He reached over to wipe away a tear with his thumb.
“Good luck, Y/N.”
He too, departed.
The remaining men moved forward to engulf you in a group hug. While you were sure of the decisions you had made, you hated to hurt people, and both Kenny and Mike had told you they were falling for you. But you couldn’t get there with them, and it was terrible. They were great guys. You just knew they weren’t right for you.
“So,” you said, fanning your face a bit. “Next, we’re going to -”
“Y/N!” someone bellowed from the lobby of the hotel.
Your brow furrowed.
“Is that…” you trailed off, eyes going wide with horror.
Then he appeared in the doorway of the ballroom.
“Luke!” you cried. “What are you doing here?!”
“I’m not giving up on us,” he said, marching toward you.
His body language looked dangerous. Joe was closest to you and you reached for him. He immediately caught on and wrapped his arms around you, placing himself between you and Luke.
The other men stood in front of the two of you, not allowing Luke any closer.
“She sent you home, Luke,” said Richard darkly. “You can’t be here.”
“I just wanna talk, Y/N,” Luke said, ignoring Richard and trying to look around him. “Y/N, please! I just wanna work this out!”
“Well, I don’t!” you returned. “Just go!”
“I know there’s something here!” he insisted. “There’s gotta be! Don’t give up!”
You peered at him around Joe’s arm.
“No, there isn’t!” you shouted. “You’re scaring me, Luke. Just leave.”
He moved forward, but Ben placed a hand on his chest.
“Not a step closer,” Ben warned.
“Just stay out of this,” Luke spat.
“She asked you to leave, Luke,” Allen said. “So go.”
“No, I’m not giving up,” Luke said.
“Oh, my God,” you whispered into Joe’s chest. “Oh, my God.”
Joe lowered his lips to your ear. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna let him anywhere near you.”
“This is just crazy,” you went on. “He’s acting crazy.”
“Y/N, please!” Luke continued to plead.
Chris Harrison at last approached, accompanied by security guards. Chris went directly to you.
“What do you wanna do, Y/N?” he asked. “Do you wanna talk to him?”
“No!” you insisted. “I want him to leave!”
“Okay,” Chris said. He turned to Luke. “Luke, it’s time to go.”
The security guards stepped toward him, but he stepped away.
“Wait!” he pressed. “Wait, Y/N - just - please. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me here. That’s the only way I’ll believe it.”
You met his gaze with a scowl.
“I don’t want you here,” you said venomously. “Get out.”
He sighed, shoulders sagging. Then, he straightened up, turned on his heel, and stormed out. You hoped that was the last you ever saw of him.
“You alright?” Joe asked.
You nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” You looked at Chris. “He did actually leave, right?”
He nodded. “We made sure of it.”
You took a deep breath.
“You wanna tell them where we’re going next?” he asked.
You let yourself smile, even though you were still a bit shaken.
“Yeah,” you said. You addressed the men. “Guys, we’re going to Killarney, Ireland!”
Allen whooped and pumped a fist in the air. You laughed. You knew he’d be excited to be back home in Ireland. But the rest of the guys seemed excited too. You gazed at them in awe. It was hard to believe that you had already narrowed it down to seven guys. Seven incredible guys. You couldn’t ask for more.
That night, as you packed in your hotel room, you heard a knock at the door. For a moment, you feared Luke had come to speak to you again, but you told production you didn’t want him near you. Still, you peeked through the peephole before answering. The man behind it took your breath away. You thought your eyes were playing tricks on you. It couldn’t be! Could it?
You opened the door apprehensively.
“Jamie?”
To be continued…
#gwilym lee#gwilym lee x reader#gwilym lee x you#gwilym lee imagine#ben hardy#ben hardy imagine#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy x you#joe mazzello#allen leech#rami malek#Richard Madden#taron egerton#BoRhap#borhap cast x reader#borhap boys#borhap boys x reader#BoRhap cast#borhap cast imagine#borhap boys imagine#bohemian rhapsody#joe mazzello x reader#taron egerton x reader#richard madden x reader#allen leech x reader#Queen#Brian May#roger taylor#adam lambert#queen imagine
129 notes
·
View notes
Text
i cant sleep and its too hot to fucking function in my basement so lovecraft country ramble time
ok so first off I TOTALLY CALLED BLONDE BITCH BEING THE NEXT BIG BAD fuck yeah! I knew she plotted to kill her father and this was her sole purpose for luring Tic in, not because she wanted his power or prestige but because she knew it would give her shit dad enough hope to convince him to commit suicide by attempting some crazy spell lol. But there is no way she has Tic or Leti's best interests in mind, i am one hundred percent convinced that this girl is after power in the way her father wants power - which is like an awesome way of highlighting white womens tendency to want to gain the privilege of white men rather than seeking to destroy the entire system of privilege. Thats why i think Tic and Leti are gonna have to take the white lady down. Also pretty sure the white lady and creepy stare dude are the same person and that she can switch genders which is kinda cool, but also if she is the big bad and her evilness is tied to her fathers hatred of women and then we throw in some magical sex change and bisexuality in there...yeahhhhh. oh well, im not too concerned cause the rest of the story is too ducking good.
I AM SO CONFUSED BY ALL THE HORROR STUFF like i totally get all the history references (except for emmit till that was very sad and wow what detail), but i am shooting in the dark trying to figure out how all these different pieces of lore fit together. i think that might be the one complaint i have about the show, the rules of the magic are unclear and not well explained....i am very picky about magic and rules, ive been spoiled by diana wynne jones expert handling of this. BUT its a cool magic and the history side of the story is spectacular so again not too concerned.
Papa Tic is gay isnt he :( and in love with that bar owner dude, and this must be why George is Tic's real father (still in denial that he is dead) and why that one random guy who seems to be an old classmate of Tic and Leti's keeps taunting Tic about it. Papa Tic being gay could also explain why his father beat the life out of him but not George, which was always a little wishywashy and uncertain. If this is the case, im gonna cry, cause like that suddenly humanizes this character in a way that i think could make it possible for this epic quest to mend Tic and Papa Tic's family.
Im in love with Leti, like the entire show could be her character and Id probably be happy. I wish we could see more of her motivations, and as much as I enjoyed the spontaneous kiss it felt...well...spontaneous.
Leti's sister and white bitch boy was...disturbing? I think it was supposed to be like a steamy sex scene???? I dont honestly know? It was just weird and fell under the im not watching this category alongside like the monsters ripping peoples heads off so...okay.
I CANT BELIEVE PAPA TIC DID THE THING and then the quote in the previews about the magic turning people evil....ALL this makes sense but like...as a history buff....I CANT BELIEVE PAPA TIC DID THE THING. i was super looking forward to having an ancient human deal with the modern world captain america style too. she was already one of my favorite characters and i was invested in her story and how they were all going to heal her and learn so much and then they just....did....that. im biased though, i desperately love any south american history and i think thats where they hinted she was from?? Maybe central america? It said something about many waters which made me immediately think of Tenochtitlan. but again i dont think im enough of an expert here to catch all the references.
ANYWAY if the way the show is headed is that this magic corrupts peoples minds this totally fits with the allegory of the systems of power (white supremacy/racism) needing to be taken down and obliterated rather than (as blonde bitch lady is doing) working to infiltrate them from the inside and take power for themselves. This is also fitting with the fact that Tic didn't do anything to 'earn' his power - it was just birthright and shows how superficial the secret society's connections are. So, hopefully because of this Tic will be able to see through the temptation (theres a lot of adam eve and temptation stuff to delve into too) and allure of absolute power and realize that by learning this stuff he is actually endangering his family even more rather than hope to wield the power and protect them. Kinda like poor Boromir and the ring of power actually.
I LOVE THIS SHOW sorry if this readmore doesnt work and i accidentally give someone spoilers
1 note
·
View note
Text
5TL ask masterpost
Hi!!! Since there are SO many. SO SO many asks about 5TL in my inbox right now, I thought of (instead of working on a crucial uni deadline I have coming up) putting them all here and writing one long-arse post (so that people’s dashes won’t be..... overwhelmed with asks. Also less tagging). So here we go - Hopefully you get your answers here! Consider it as a fic........... it’s that long. Starting from the oldest!
Anonymous said: 5 thomas lane is definitely, without a doubt, my favourite ever fic. Its bloody brilliant!! I just wanted to ask, we know dave got people being rude about john and paul, and then the incident in the supermarket, but do vera and chuck ever get any shit at school about their dads? Or do other parents ever have a go at paul and john? Love the fic, honestly its my favourite thing. Its absolutely wonderful 💞💞💞
Thank you!! That is always such a lovely thing to hear! <3
Vera and Chuck have been thankfully mostly protected from any kind of homophobia. Chuck’s friends are too young to really care about it, they just go ‘ok’ when Chuck tells that he has two dads instead of one, and as for Vera only her close friends know. It’s not that she would’ve been treating it as a secret, but usually children at that age don’t really talk about their parents openly in class. At least I wouldn’t have been able to tell if some of my classmates had two mums, since you’d spend time in small groups instead of one bigger one, and then interact with the other people in the class only for school work. So since only her good friends know (and they don’t care) she hasn’t had to face any prejudice either.
As for Paul and John, at school events they receive a stink eye at most, since the other parents can’t possibly put up a scene in front of the kids and the teachers etc. Most of them don’t care, but there are always some who will kinda, steer their kid the other way. Paul and John fortunately are aces at dealing with the hurt feelings it causes, and Vera and Chuck are yet to notice that kind of behaviour. Dave is a little bit more perseptive, but then again he’s the oldest and unfortunately remembers some of the early encounters the family had when the world’s - and Liverpool’s - view on gay people wasn’t yet as open as it is now.
Anonymous said: 5tl question!! When j and p DO fight, who apologises first? Who sulks more? (Love this bloody fic)
Both are awful stubborn mules!! It’s terrible. But at the same time they go over the fight in their head and feel sorry about it, and then eventually one of them decides not to be an idiot anymore. But I feel that overall Paul would be less inclined to apologise first if he feels he’s right, and John will come trudging over ‘cos he can’t stand it when they fight for a long time. Then again, if John absolutely feels he’s correct, he’ll hold onto his opinion with tooth and nail, and Will Sulk. John in general sulks more I think, but half of it is tongue in cheek, since they so rarely have actual fights (more like, small-ish disputes)
Anonymous said: Okay I have a 5tl question: when it comes to the kids, which parent is each the most similar to personality-wise? Like for me, I’ve always thought Dave is like a mini Paul whereas Vera just SCREAMS John to me, what’s your opinion on this? Is this something you considered when writing the kids? <333
Oh god this is such a difficult question,, after a 20-minute discussion with @thefrogchorus, (since this was such a difficult question and I needed her blessed input to sort out my thoughts) we came to the conclusion that they’re kind of a mix of both John and Paul without any definitive traits coming from their parents (Chuck is a mini-John, but that’s also because of y’kno, being his actual biological son). They’re very much their own people in my head, but especially their manners come from John and Paul, whether it be how to win an argument, or how to deal with sadness, etc.
I actually feel like Vera takes after Paul, in a way that when she puts her foot down, she’ll go through fucking stone if needs be, and Paul is very similar to that. Their sense of humour comes from both Paul and John, but I feel like they appreciate the sort of “silliness” John seems to cultivate a bit more.
Anonymous said: Can you tell us more about George and Ringo from 5TL? How did they end up together and what kinda dynamic does their relationship have? :)
George and Ringo met when Paul inherited the cottage from his grandparents back in 1998. George would come along to help rebuilding the cottage which was in a complete shambles. For the first two years Paul, John and George would sleep in a guest room at the farm since the cottage was inhabitable. In the mornings the four of them, since they quickly started getting along with Ringo, skipped over the field that separates the farm and the cottage and they’d work on the cottage all day long.
As was said in chp. 5, “The four of them got along swimmingly right from the first moment, and the very nice lad’s good-natured, calm farm-boy attitude completed the group in a strangely perfect way.“ “George started helping at the cottage very often, as well.”
So George and Ringo really got to know each other and fell in love during that time. There’s gonna be a chapter eventually that goes over these events, so I’m not going to delve too deep into it now, and some details might change over time, so that’s what you’re gonna have to do with for now :)
As for the dynamic between the two... George embodies this wonderful dry wit that matches perfectly with Ringo’s more good-natured and gentle teasing. Their relationship is easy and fun, very very soft and warm. It’s really quite relaxed, considering both of them do lot of repetitive work that takes a lot of time, and they’re like that together as well, patient and calm.
Anonymous said: Have any of the 5tl kids been lost/ran away at any point and given John and Paul a fright?
I think, in grocery shop, at most. They’ve always been quite adept at keeping the kids under their watchful eye, and the kids haven’t had any urges to run away (because while Dave has teenage angst, he has no urges to like, y’know, leave the family he loves?). Of course even when you lose your kid into a grocery shop it’s a bit of a scare, at least for the Mother Hens Paul And John, (in the early years, not so much anymore since their skin is so tough), but everything’s always worked out fine in the end.
Anonymous said: I have a questionnn: has 5tl John had issues with his weight/ insecurity in the same way that actual John did? Idk I just love getting insights into this universe
I don’t think so, not to the same extent. Probably when he was a teenager he would’ve worried a little over his figure (like all teenagers do) but in this universe he’s always stayed in a relatively good shape, body mass wise (he still can’t lift heavy things but, hey. he’s a scrawny artist cut him some slack) and as such he doesn’t have any insecurities over it. I think, if he ever grows a little bit of belly when he’s older, it’ll be received with good humour and loving taps from Paul :) <3
Anonymous said: is paul always the big spoon in 5tl or do they switch? (WHY do i only think of these questions when im going to sleep jrbhrnsfjsj) 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔
Bless this question honestly aaahhhh <3333, Paul indeed is NOT always the big spoon, they switch, and BOTH love being the little spoon cos it makes them feels so nice. When they first started dating John might’ve taken the role of the big spoon a little more since Paul was still SMALL (bbbless,,,) but they evened it out. Sappy beings,, <33
Anonymous said: How did Martha join the 5TL family?
In the most traditional way possible: First kids wanted a dog, then Paul wanted a dog, and John grudgingly said “okay, I guess” and then suddenly there was fur everywhere and he had to go outside for long walks everyday no matter the weather and he had to keep a puppy from eating every possible furniture while Paul was at work. Poor John. (But he secretly loves Martha so it’s okay. He gets a little weak in the knees when Paul babbles to her.)
Anonymous said: How old were 5Thomas L. J+P when they started talking about kids/ did poor oleJohn hit the roof and freak out when Paul first suggested it since we know he’s not a fan of kids (except his own ofc)!
I think the discussion took place quite early in the relationship. Paul has always known he’d want kids, and as for John, and I quote the very first sentence of the whole fic,
“Having children had never been a requirement for John to live happily ever after. He would, however, be completely fine with one or two if his future partner wanted them, and he would love the kids with all his heart (if they weren’t absolutely terrible).“
So John has never hated the thought of kids, but for him the thought of them was more along the lines of “yeah I’ll be fine even if I never had them but if some where to come I wouldn’t object to it at all” so when Paul brought the subject up (like “hey how do you feel about kids? I mean ‘cos I kinda love them and I definitely wanna be a dad someday, but ofc not if it meant breaking up with you, ‘cos I’ll much more prefer a life with you ‘cos you’re like the only person I’ve ever loved and wanted to have sex with xoxo :) in fact let’s have sex right now”) John would’ve been like “yeah, cool, if it’s any possible any day i’m game even though i‘ll probably suck at being a dad because DADDY ISSUES” (the key to john’s character in any universe,,)
Remember that when John proposed Paul literally answered with “yeah i’ll marry you ONLY IF I GET TO BE THE POP”, so at that point Paul’s desires were very well known for John, and John knew what he was getting into. And as we know, John adores his kids :) So they’ve pretty much always had the agreement that one day there will be kids if it’s just possible. Only when it became the reality that they CAN adopt Dave, John started becoming nervous with the possibility of fucking up terribly, and even then he wanted to have a kid SO bad, as you can read from Chapter 12: the Bath Scene (which gives me the FEELS). That scene and chapter explain John’s stance on this pretty well! :)
Anonymous said: How tall are the 5tl kids? Just wondering <3 I love this fic
Hahah, thank you! Out of all the asks I’ve got over this fic, this is maybe one of the strangest ones - but it’s not a bad thing! Hahah I love how it got me thinking.
The average 15 year old boy in the UK would be around 5″7, but since Dave is originally from France he’s a little shorter, I’d say 5″4. Vera is 4″6, and Chuck is 3″8 :)
Anonymous said: I can imagine John getting absolutely TURNT around Rasputin by Boney M in the 5TL verse for some reason and it makes me laugh a lot
You are absolutely RIGHT this is the absolute TRUTH and it’s CANON NOW I SAID IT. John loves Boney M if only because they hit him right to where it itches. He loves singing along to Daddy Cool and Paul kinda hates it because Paul likes the Ramones and Nirvana and Rock’n Roll, baby, and then there’s John waving this disco propaganda at his head, but they work around it.
(Occasionally Paul might be caught humming Ma Baker) (Mma-mma-mma-mma-mmmaah)
Anonymous said: Do you have any more 5tl headcannons? The wait is killing me lol
Hahaha so many of them are actual spoilers but have a small list of ones that I can share with you! (Also... this whole post kinda is based on my headcanons so.... ) :D
Dave creates memes about his sucker family and sends them over in the family whatsapp group
(Credit @sunbeatle <3)
This also includes the Pepe. John loves the Pepe. He sends Paul Pepe memes all day long. Paul wants to know who this lizard is.
Chuck loves Pepe. He draws Paul a Pepe drawing. John puts it on the wall above their bed.
“John please stop. i'm not having sex in front of the lizard”
John blindfolds Paul so that Paul doesn't have to look at Pepe
“John I am going to divorce you over that lizard.”
Dave: "oh my god pop. it's a fucking frog."
Paul: "wHAt part of that LIZARD looks like a FROG to you????"
Plot twist: Paul actually loves Pepe and knows it's a frog but he loves seeing how amused John gets over Paul's loathing; Anything For The Husband
(Pepe idea: Credit for Maria and Daisy. made us all howl with laughter)
John uses a ton emojis, always the wrong and the weird ones. He is VERY aware of it. Chaotic Evil.
Paul used to have the same kind of sunglasses as Kurt Cobain in the 90′s. He actually used them. They looked like this:
Terrible.
Paul sometimes writes poems, mostly humorous ones with a tongue-in-cheek about his life; it’s a nice creative outlet. He also might write poems specifically directed at the kids, so a children’s story but in poem form, and then he reads them to Chuck (or has John read them dramatically, which really fun for all of them)
There you go people! Hopefully this satisfied your bottomless thirst for more 5TL for some time! Don’t be afraid to hit me with new asks and your own headcanons, I love discussing this fic! Cheerio! <3
#this became..... a lot longer than i anticipated#actually it's quite a handlable length#well i hope you all like it!#feel a discussion brewing from one of the subjects here? hit me up!#my askbox is always open#<33#mclennon#mclennon fic#god i love this family#also those glasses. terrible#imagine a 18-yeard old paul lounging in a garden chair with a teen magazine and these goggles#well#that happened#i just didn't put it into the 90's chapter#hahah#it's canon!#martin the chicken#anonymous#answered#thank you so much for all these!#5tl:meta
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
gaalee👀
apparently no one else needs to send me the otp asks for gaalee cause i gotta answer all of them now smh i love you
Who is the most affectionate? Lee is the most physically affectionate from the perspective of like other people seeing their relationship, but i think it’s cause all of gaara’s physical affection is very subtle but like he’s always reaching for Lee and casually touching him or trying to get close. i’d say lee is still the more physically affectionate, but it’s certainly not like Gaara isn’t also affection
Big spoon/Little spoon? Lee is the little spoon and Gaara is the big spoon. you’re a coward if you think otherwise (the only exception is if gaara is like genuinely upset about something and then Lee holds him, but like full offense Gaara is the big spoon 110% of the time)
Most common argument? Lee not being allowed to open the 8th gate
Favorite non-sexual activity? lee obviously loves sparring and he loves when he actually gets to spar with gaara, but his absolute favourite thing is lazy mornings when he gets to wake up a little later than usual (like instead of 5:30am he wakes up at 6am) and he gets to like watch the sunrise with his head in Gaara’s lap while Gaara cards his fingers through lee’s hair. just time spent together, quiet and soft and intimate. gaara’s favourite is also this, but he likes the before part too--when lee’s still asleep and snuggled against him and fully at peace. he likes watching lee sleep
Who is most likely to carry the other? Lee
What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Lee’s favourite is gaara’s eyes and his forehead because it’s perfect for pressing kisses against. gaara’s favourite is lee’s hands (he’s also a sucker for lee’s lil turtle mouth).
What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? for gaara, i think he’s terrified. like genuinely terrified because this is not like anything he’s ever experienced before and he doesn’t have any sort of frame of reference for it. so when gaara realises how he feels he kind of... goes inward, becomes really quiet and introspective in a way different from his usual quietness. i think he’s like terrified of lee rejecting him not as a romantic partner but as a friend more than anything and so he starts moderating his actions and the things he says around Lee even more than usual. like he’s already very careful and always very self-analytical but then he has these feelings (which is why i generally feel like he figures it out first), and suddenly he becomes even more so that way with Lee. like “would this be crossing a boundary? would this make him uncomfortable? would a friend say this?” becomes like so much MORE of a concern than it ever was and like it becomes obvious to Lee because he feels like Gaara is acting really distant with him and like maybe he’s done something to upset Gaara. gaara like shies away from touching him and lee is like convinced Gaara hates him because gaara didn’t used to do that, but in actuality gaara is just like “is it okay for me to touch him? will he misunderstand my intentions etc” when lee figures out his feelings he panics--like full on melt down because gaara’s the kazekage and what if he causes some sort of political scandal and also gaara’s never gonna like him back and he falls into this huge depressive slump because he’s never felt this way about anyone before. and everyone’s like “what is WRONG” because he’s soooo subdued and sad all of a sudden. eventually gai-sensei gets it out of him and tells him to follow his heart, besides kakashi won’t punish lee for his love and if he tried to be like “don’t because politics” gai-sensei would make him sleep on the couch forever.
Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? none. i can see lee being the type to come up with pet names, but i just can’t see gaara being the type and i feel like he wouldn’t want to be called by pet names.
Who worries the most? i think it’s really pretty equal. i think gaara is always worried lee will overdo it, that lee won’t listen to him and will open the 8th gate; whereas lee is always worried that someday, something will happen and gaara will die protecting suna and he’ll be powerless to stop it
Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? they both remember because they are both lowkey obsessed with each other--like healthy obssessed. like god i love you so much how did i get so fucking lucky im gonna remember every little detail i can about you so i can always make you as happy as possible
Who tops? lmao these questions are so fucking funny to me but fully gaara’s a power bottom and lee’s a service top (he’s technically a verse, but like... for gaara he’s a service top)
Who initiates kisses? they both do.
Who reaches for the other’s hand first? it’s really situational. i think on like an average day, Lee does, but on his bad days it’s Gaara.
Who kisses the hardest? Gaara
Who wakes up first? i mean can you even answer this question when one never sleeps?????
Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? both of them if it’s a night gaara was able to come home to sit in bed and snuggle with Lee.
Who says I love you first? i think Lee does. i think gaara has a lot of hang ups about the word love so he’s way more hesitant to say so at first.
Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) Lee. he usually says things like “i hope you have a splendid day, my love. i cannot wait for you to return so i can kiss you and i will miss you most achingly while you are away” which is like hilarious cause if he’s not on a mission he can literally just... go to gaara’s office and see him.
Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? oof that’s so dependent on the situation i really don’t have a set headcanon for this. i think it can go either way and a lot of the times i think it’s less telling and more ppl just... observing it.
What do their family/friends think of their relationship? Temari like cries because she never thought Gaara would be in a place where he’d accept love like this from someone else; kankurou’s super supportive about it and teases lee a lot; Neji is like quietly concerned because of their past but trusts Lee to make this choice for himself; Tenten is fully supportive and kind of floored that someone like the Kazekage falls in love with Lee; Gai-sensei cries a lot. he doesn’t stop crying. he sees them together, so deeply in love, and he just bursts into tears and goes on about the springtime of youth and lee’s man of destiny
Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Lee
Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? Lee. Gaara cannot cook for shit and doesn’t have the time to. but sometimes when he does have time he like chops vegetables for Lee.
Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? Lee
Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times? Gaara. Deadpan. Nonpulsed. Monotone. they’ll be like at the grocery store and gaara will be like “hmm i think i want to have sex when we get home’ and lee like... breaks whatever he’s holding
Who needs more assurance? that’s a hard one because they both need a lot of it early on for very different reasons. i think lee is the one who seeks it out more openly, but i think they are both equally in need of assurance in the first year of their relationship. but once they’re settled into it they don’t really need that reassurance anymore
What would be their theme song? asdlfkasldfjaklsdf god this is SO hard because i have so many songs for them. right now i am really really into No Choir by Florence+the Machine as a gaalee song
Who would sing to their child back to sleep? Gaara. Temari teaches him the song their mother used to sing to her and kankurou, a song from their mother’s home, and he would sing that if they ever had kids.
What do they do when they’re away from each other? i think they go about their days as usual. like they can exist separately from one another, they have a perfectly healthy relationship, so unless it’s like a really long time apart where lee might pine a little bit and gaara might start longing for lee’s kisses... they like aren’t out there being like “oh god my boyfriend is gone i can’t go on i need him back”
one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart i like... try really hard not to have like headcanons that are sad... which doesn’t mean i don’t have fics that are just.... i generally try to avoid headcanons that would upset me. that being said, lee would be the first one to die because he’d open the 8th gate to protect gaara
one headcanon about this OTP that mends it i think they have the sort of love that transcends lifetimes, so no matter what they will always find each other (i have like a reincarnation fic idea but it’s like super loose lol)
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stan Figures It Out: Part 1 (or, Asmodeus’ Super Fun Beehive Poking Text Log) (or, Nobody)
((So a few days ago me and Sarah went through a lot of really cool character development, but it was all over discord. I’d really like to have a record of it over here and let ya’ll read cuz it was GR8.
Broke up it up into two parts since it’s so much, and this is part one. Basically Ash ( @ashenheartx ) decided to bother Stan about stealing his idea of making Merlin into a Hell puppet for a hot second, his previous relationship with God, and basically have a big old gay crush on Lucifer. Stan hates all these things and overreacts in true Stan theatrics fashion.
Warnings: NSFW descriptions and general lewd emojis. Ash being Ash. No other triggers far as I know.
Next part to come soon, probably tomorrow.))
Ash:
[txt] ps fuck you for stealing my idea and then failing it btw this is overdue
Stan:
[txt] OH CONGRATULATIONS
[txt] ITS BEEN HOW FUCKING LONG? AND YOU JUST GET THE BALLS TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING TO ME?
[txt] WELL WELL WELL AT LEAST I KNOW YOU CAN DO MORE THAN FUCK
Ash:
[txt] well your butt was already spanked figured itd take this long for it to heal
Stan:
[txt] HARDY HAR HAR. YOURE REAL FUNNY YOU KNOW THAT? I SHOULD GIVE YOU A PROMOTION TO HEAD FUNNYMAN
[txt] GUESS WHAT THE CURRENT FUNNYMAN IS DOING?
Ash:
[txt] ruling hell for you
Stan:
[txt] WHA
[txt] NO
[txt]
[txt] I PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF THE WRITING TEAM FOR RICK AND MORTY
[txt] SO KEEP THAT IN FUCKING MIND
Ash:
[txt] you lied so hard and fast
[txt] you STUTTERED IN TEXT
Stan:
[txt] WELL I FIGURED THATS HOW YOU LIKED IT
Ash:
[txt] STUTTERED?
Stan:
[txt] I MEANT HARD AND FAST BUT FROM YOUR TRACK RECORD YOU DO SEEM TO LIKE SHRINKING VIOLETS SO
[txt] SHRINKING SHRIEKING NUNS
Ash:
[txt] that was ONE nun
[txt] well alright it was mORE than oNE nun but she was special circumstance
Stan:
[txt] MMMMHMMMMM. AND BY THE WAY THAT WAS TIME WELL SPENT GOOD JOB. THAT DIDNT TURN INTO AN INCREDIBLE FAILURE
[txt] WHILE WE'RE ON THE FUCKING TOPIC
Ash:
[txt] he is only a failure FOR NOW
[txt] he's still not a defective one like many others
[txt] and has actual power
Stan:
[txt] Yeah he does I'll give him that
[txt] Can you really blame me for trying to step in and speed things up?
Ash:
[txt] yes
Stan:
[txt] Nope not allowed
Ash:
[txt] it is allowed because now it will take TWICE AS LONG
[txt] because now he has sex and it's not as much of a pressure point
Stan:
[txt] im sorry im
[txt] IM FUCKING
[txt] gagGING BE RIGHT BACK
Ash:
[txt] ?????????? stop thinking about my son's dick
Stan:
[txt] YOU MENTIONED YOUR SONS DICK and please DON'T act like you DON'T think about it
Ash:
[txt] it's kind of my entire schtick to think about hidden treasure
Stan:
[txt] Isn't the real hidden treasure the dicks we sucked along the way though
Ash:
[txt] see now ive gone from mad to camaraderie and i dont appreciate that
[txt] some how i doubt you have sucked any dicks tho
Stan:
[txt] OH NO IM THE DEVIL OOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[txt] IVE SUCKED ONE DICK DONT @ ME
Ash:
[txt] 🤔
[txt] proof
Stan:
[txt] UH IM SORRY
[txt] THEY DIDNT REALLY HAVE KIK OR SNAPCHAT BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE
Ash:
[txt] bitch you gave god a bj why isn't this FRONT PAGE news
Stan:
[txt] THERES SOME HIDDEN TREASURE FOR YOU NOW FUCK OFF
Ash:
[txt] GURL WE AIN'T DONE WHO ELSE YOU BLOWIN
Stan:
[txt] RIGHT NOW IM PRETTY SURE EVEN ENTERTAINING THIS CONVERSATION IS CONSIDERED SUCKING YOUR DICK SO YOU??????????
Ash:
[txt] pretty sure my poor dick is flacid and not in your mouth but okay
Stan:
[txt] THE LAST THING YOU WANT IN MY MOUTH IS YOUR DICK
[txt] I'LL SUCK YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING HEAD
[txt] ILL VORE YOU FUCKING TRY ME
Ash:
[txt] honey
[txt] darling
[txt] you've done worse to me please
[txt] oop kink shamed the devil
Stan:
[txt] If there's anything that can be said for me
[txt] It's that I don't have that as a kink
Ash:
[txt] shocking honestly
[txt] what with that mouth tum
[txt] but really not even luci? slacking
Stan:
[txt] YOUSHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT LUCIFERS ENTIRE DICK
Ash:
[txt] why the FUCK would i do that? it's a good dick
[txt] ESP WHEN IT'S CUTE AND SMALL
Stan:
[txt] LISTEN YOU OVER GLORIFIED FUCK BUDDY
[txt MAYBE I SHOULD TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE """""HIDDEN TREASURE""""""
Ash:
[txt] my cute butt because that's not hidden at all and you can ask luci
Stan:
[txt] Is it motherfucker????????????? Is it???? You're telling me you let Lucifer fuck you in the pussy????????????????????????? Because I'm calling bullshit on that. I'm calling bullshit that you ever allow anyone to get that fucking close to you anymore.
Ash:
[txt] well all of that is true, but he is aware of it i am sure. we didn't spontaneously know each other when we dropped out of the sky
[txt] besides you probably dont share treasure like that because then how do you get to roll around in it when you want to to feel special. you dont. that's like telling people where the candy stash is
Stan:
[txt] YOU REALLY HIDING THE CANDY FOR LIKE 6000 YEARS CHIEF?????[txt] AT THE VERY LEAST I SHOULD GET A TASTE
Ash:
[txt] oh wait did i let the cat out of the bag for you because wow??????????????????
[txt] didn't you already know i had a pussy like come on man you've probably found it already
[txt] it's pretty hard to remember some of that time when we first got down here though
Stan:
[txt] oh no bitch
[txt] i definitely knew
[txt] a shame you don't reMEMBER the fun we had
[txt] but it's been a WHILE AND A HALF
Ash:
[txt] must not have been all that good?????????????
[txt] dick wasn't bomb apparently
[txt] besides you alwyas had a thing for luci
Stan:
[txt] I'LL PUT A BOMB IN YOUR ACTUAL ASS I DID NOT ALWAYS HAVE A THING FOR HIM AND STOP CALLING HIM LUCI
Ash:
[txt] you had a THING for luci the first day we hit Hell don't even pretend you didn't
[txt] luci luci luci
[txt] how else am i supposed to say his name when he poppin that puss
Stan:
[txt] IM GONNA F CU KING PISSS
[txt] FUCK OFF
Ash:
[txt] 💄💯✨
[txt] and lemme remind you; it pOPS 💦
[txt] if you aren't saying 'luci' when you come im not sure what you're doing with your life
[txt] but it's the wrong thing, darling
[txt] i'll pray for you and your weird little obsessive love affair
Stan:
[If Ash is anywhere near the ninth level of Hell at that moment he might hear Stan literally screeching like a raccoon being rammed with a tennis racket. But then shortly after he wouldn't hear anything except for the illusion of Mitski's "Nobody" chorus playing on loop. It was sad and melancholy and repetitive and perfectly summed up the insult Stan WANTED to say about Ash's fucking life, but wasn't able to get past the screaming. Who the fuck cared about Ash's little opinion? Nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody....]
Ash:
[Look, Ash is a CACKLIN' instead of being offended because if Stan had meant to camouflage his feelings he had instead loudly broadcasted them. So, as a final goad, he gently hit send one final time.
[vid] it's grainy like ten years ago small cellphone quality with sound, but it sure is Lucifer getting railed from chest to between thighs. it's less than thirty seconds and includes orgasms that end with dick withdrawing with an aforementioned pop and leak of white fluid
[txt] ❤️ 🎵 ttyl ]
Stan:
[Stan was having a HARD TIME OKAY????? He sure as fuck didn't need to be called out by Ash, and he sure as fuck couldn't keep up the illusion as soon as the video came through. That song snapped right out of Ash's reality with the same kind of swiftness as Stan's surprisingly potent jealousy boiling up within him. The phone got thrown on the ground, stomped on, punched a few times, then kicked across the motel room.
THEN Stan got out a bat and beat the phone within an inch of it's digital life, manifested a hydraulic press and squished the phone with 12 tons of pressure per square inch, before finally mANIFESTING A GERMAN LEOPARD 2A6 TANK AND ROLLING IT THROUGH THE MOTEL LOBBY TO FINALLY DESTORY THE PHONE.
(And then blast it with the tank's fully traversing rotating gun turret but by then he'd realized he'd never get that image out of his head no matter how much damage he did the phone.)]
#ashenheartx#burningfeathersx#discord shenanigans#long post#tried to make this easy to read as possible but if you have any trouble let me know#TLDR: WHY YOU MAD??? CUZ LUCI'S PUSSY POPS SEVERELY AND YOURS DON'T?????))#ooc
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
LOVER EXPECTATIONS!!!
okAY the album lover comes out tonight and you can bet i am getting my ass to go get it to my local store... and because i am bored AF i thought i would do a rundown through my expectations of the songs that this magical masterpiece is going to have. i have managed to avoid spoilers (actually no, i almost read the lyrics of i forgot you existed, thank u genius!! lol) so this is just going to be laura shitposting. thanks!!! they are probs all wrong anyway and no one is going to read it
I Forgot You Existed: okaaaay this is such a sassy title!!! this gives me this is why we cant have nice things vibes and it seems perfect to send to an ex, or a friend that used to be the meanest but you did not want to seem lonely. perfect abum starter, hoping for state of grace like start...
Cruel Summer: idk but i feel like this is MY BOP, i have been having THE worst summer and i hope i can relate cause i am single af and this album is kinda caotic in the best way… // also the whole devils angels and summer knife sound like such cool concepts, i think that this is going to sound like 1989 vibes like i know places and out of the Woods lyrics and production
Lover: when this song first came out everyone was obsessed with it and i was very happy for tay because she found someone worthy BUT i did not love it so much??? i thought it was cute but it felt too soft in all my misery?? anyways i listened to it before sleep and it was just sooo good like so HEAVENLY and the bridge is soooo goood anyways i want a lover now with blue hearts around them (also like such a cute concept calling them lover aaah)
The Man: honestly the whole concept of everyone would love her if she was a man is the teaaaaa, FEARLESS LEADER ALPHA TYPE WHEN EVRYONE BELIEVES YA WHAT IT LIKE!!!! anywyas miss Swift feminist icon queen of bangers
The Archer: okay this is MY sad jam i have taken it for myself it has not cured my depression but it had made it a nice shelter for me lol i love it i am the archer and the prey. in all states, except physical, i am this song. perfect for when the insomnia hits i love her
I Think He Knows: yes tay you are in love we know it lol. feel like this song is gonna be yeah yeah i am in love with one (1) man and he knows i have writen multiple songs about it OOOR like my ex just found out what is going i am with someone and he just heartbroken duuude he just broken and HE KNOOOWS maybe sassy tay like snl monologue sassy I JUST LOVE SASSY SWIFT
Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: this is THE best title, i love the length it almost tells a story i am too excited probs one of my favs. and also i can really relate to being the hertbreaker so i am VERY excited for this probs had i knew you were trouble vibes which i love im going go drow Stone cold hearts all around this song and arrows and bows and cupid references aaaaaaaaahhhhh best one
Paper Rings: idk about this song what all are these marriage references anyway im so tired and we are just by the half. hopefully a great one but tbh all of them are good
Cornelia Street: i love the fact that she is such a hopeless romantic to even remember the streeet lol such a mood i get the feeling!!! this seems like such a fun song!!! and also a if i ever lose you i Will die and write fifty poems about how this Street looks EDIT: apparently this is the Street of their apartment so yes i was right as always
Soon You’ll Get Better: apperently this is going to be country take me to your rodeo home boy country, i love that this seems to be dedicated to her mom, probably going to cry to this. we all hope you get better Andrea!! those are some good chicks
Death By A Thousand Cuts: here she is…. my overdramatic queen… its not a big of a deal honey… im just kidding plesase be dramatic plese keep writing i just need more exagerations of true looove probs gonna be sad probs gonna be reaaly good banger like i feel like this is gonna have a intense chorus
London Boy: okay mister London boy you and i need to talk are you avaliable next week, what happened, probs style production!! this seems like a song to listen to when you are on a date with this really cute boy in London and it starts raining and you are like oh no!! but he walks you to your door and covers you with their coat and kisses you in the middle on the rain and you have that beautiful memory to dwell on for years and years
False God: this gives me big god by florence and the maching vibes, all the songs with god on it are sooo powerfull hell yeah who wants a false god to go pls POWER SONG
You Need to Calm Down: GAY GAY gay masterpiece this song just called my bi ass off the closet and it has such a good representation on the video. also very happy and fun but Street rat fight kind of fun lol i love this song anyway go vote and vote well
Afterglow: is this about sex lmao? yeah go for it
ME!: it is true you are me and i am you and you are not going to find another one of me and you are algo not going to find a more happy beat that this one. and the collab with brendon urie LIKE!!!! also the video is just so colorful and cute and weird and happy and i want to live in one (1) fantasy world
It’s Nice To Have A Friend: hell yeah i want Friends but people cannot handle being nice so this is why we cant have nice things!!!
Daylight: this is going to be sooooft just like real soft also self written this is going to be poem like the poems from the rep magazines i just KNOW i am going to love this song. the poetry writer part of myself is shaking in her pastel pink boots
and that is all folks
@taylorswift hope you have the nicest day!!! you are heavenly and lovely and the sweetest! 💘💘💘
and also if you are excited comment or something about the track you are most excited about!! or the one you think i would like the most!!! 💗💗💗💗
happy lover night 💕💕💕
#okay im just too excited sorrry i needed to put my thoughts in order#its tonight!!!!#lover expectations#lover#taylor swift#i think he knows#cruel summer#the man#the archer#i forgot you existed#miss americana and the heartbreak prince#paper rings#cornelia street#death by a thousand cuts#london boy#soon you'll get better#false god#you need to calm down#afterglow#me!#it's nice to have a friend#daylight
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, Sly, can I just ask you all the ask? You can stop when you don’t want to anymore, but all the asks starting from 1 :)
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.i don't have a favourite movie honestly. i say it's harry potter but that's cause of the fandom that came from the book, not the movies or even the plot.2: Talk about your first kiss.can't talk about something that never happened3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.ooh so you see, i can never tell what is romantic and what is not. but currently there is someone (they know who they are..). i'm not gonna say names or anything but they are amazing and kind and really smart and i can't wait to talk to them.4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.i regret how in the past (and still to this day) i'd take stuff out on other people when i was anxious or overwhelmed. one of my major goals is to help those that i care for and while doing this, i do the opposite. therefore failing myself and the person.5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.almost every birthday party i had ended in everyone leaving early or not paying attention to me. so, i haven't done anything for a while. this year was pretty good because my friends who never talk to me talked to me a lot about gay shit and you know.. that's always fun. (we had a pride flag before the sub yelled at us)6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.i'm actually not sure, i have a really short term memory. but one year i had loads of people over and my best friend ended up feeling left out cause she didn't know anyone. so she left and other people left for various reasons. it ended wit only one person staying..7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.i don't have one. instead i have like 50 small ones that add up to one failure of a person8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.i don't have much to be proud of. if you mean in the long term i guess for trying to help people (even though i fail). also the other day i was proud of something really weird i did to my hair to make it seem short... but obviously im not most proud of that9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.i like the colour of my eyes (this is hard). i have a really light birthmark on my nose and i like that.10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.id you mean like physical then none (except my brother ut i assume that doesn't count). i've yelled at people a lot and got in those kinda fights.. i also pushed this dude (not on purpose tho) and yelled at him for saying something... still feel bad about that it wasn't his fault11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.i barely remember my dreams but when i was like 8 or 10 or something i dreamed that we had this party at our house (which is weird cause we're all introverts and would never do that) and there were lots of people over tat we knew. i was wearing these shoes that i loved at the time and i went outside. oh, there were loads of pine needles on the patio. later i opened the door and asked my dad if he'd seen my shoes. he was standing next to a pile of pine needles, holdi ng a rake with the biggest grin on this face. he pointed to a tree and there was one shoes haing on a string.. it ended in NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cause the other shoes was in the pile. it was sooo weird12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.don't remember. i never dream really.13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.i didn't and would not like to discuss imagining this 14: Talk about a vacation.i go to prague a lot because we have family there. we went in 2017 with my aunt, cousins and grandparents. that was fun15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.maybe 5th grade. i had a best friend that was in my grade and i laughed loads more than normal. i don't think i was eevn doing bad mentally.16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.uhh ive been to no like real parties. once this girl invited the entire grade and i talked to my friends and my first girl crush was there and she gave me a high five... and it was pretty fun (she ended up hating me.. i dunno why)17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.i want to e closer friends with this dude who i call China online cause he's cool and i don't think he hates me like my other irl friend do.18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.in 5th grade i was next to my friend on the swing and i punched her??? i have no clue why. but anyway, the force of the swing made the impact of the punch worse... she forgave me tho.19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.i had lots of debates and arguments at lunch in 7th grade it was pretty funny.. those people were strange. also loads of gay stuff happened20: Talk about something that happened in high school.nothing interesting happened that i can think of21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.uhhh me, turn someone down? nope22: Talk about your worst fear.i guess it's there really being nothing after death and even now. but also like me doing nothing and not mattering/having a purpose or whatever.23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.uhh nope didn't happen... 24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.on here someone answered some dumb ask i sent with this phrase and i think about it a lot... my friend and i exchange it a lot25: Talk about an ex-best friend.in kindergarten i had this best friend and she was cool dont remember much since you know.. awhile ago. we went to the fair in like 1st grade i really liked that26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.i answered this :)27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.Uhhh what. not sure that this question is saying but ig i like people's smiles and laughs and eyes and shit 28: Talk about your fetishes.uhhhhhhhhh wHaT29: Talk about what turns you on.uhhhh whatno30: Talk about what turns you off.uhhhhhhhHHHhhh31: Talk about what you think death is like.probably nothing like you just disappear and are gone and you can't think and it's all over and- sorry... i dont think there's much gonna on at that point. im not religious so i don't believe in an afterlife32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.there was ths trail we'd walk on (btw im still in my childhood so this isnt exactly past tense) and there is a bench and it's by water i love that trail thingy33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.usually it's cause someone is disappointed in me tbh and i'll lay on the ground with my blanket and just... or on my bed and then fall onto the ground34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.hmmm im not sure...35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.hurting people i love, being over dramatic, a lot of stuff...36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.everyting makes me feel guilty so like uhh anything i've ever liked37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.mmh no one i thought i was in love with and then was like nope nvm..38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.this song by paramore that's like... idk weird ig... reminds me of my godsister. country songs remind me of think, basically if you say you like something or i listen to it with you, it reminds me of you. uh gemini syndrome reminds me of winter cause she was talkign about it the other day (its pretty good)39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.i dont wish id known anything earlier. it is unsafe to try and change the past with knowledge. i'd be somewhere else entirely40: Talk about the end of something in your life.hmm noting signifigant really ended (or happened)thanks for the ask sorry i barely answered most of um
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
QUOTES (as in things i’ve said, not necessarily original things but things ive said.) FROM MUN HIKARY,HER DAD AND CLASSMATES AS RP STARTERS:
"get your fuck boy out of my house"
"Listen here you fuck nugget"
"don't touch me you bafoon"
"leave the soul alone"
"WHERE IS SPACE DAD"
"i got some shoes from my drug dealer, i dont know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day...."
"Sure thing Chew-Brocka"
"the beatings will continue until morale improves."
"looking to protect yourself or deal some damage?"
"The egg-salts?"
"much cheese cake"
"FIGHT ME"
"DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE!"
"baby,princess, dear,dearest. Do me a favorite and get your head out of my ass"
"Whats up gays!"
"Its 1 get the fuck up you lil shit"
"its a porch...not a deck....."
"when one plays the earth game twister one finds out more about the other's than they wanted"
"pain is your reward for being near me."
"oh it's the nasty crime boi"
"follow the yellow-dick road"
"these jokes arent the only thing that suck"
"stupid controls! I said walk to the side not jump off the cliff"
"_GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY GODDESS!"
"Zarkon unhand my space father"
"sadness is merely a part of life."
"BON BON YOU WANT SUM FUC"
"they're gonna play Mario cart"
"that's how friendship dies"
"ID BE THE TINY ANGRY GUY, I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME"
"Space Dad jokes are out of this world"
"space dad part of a balanced breakfast"
" i wonder whats over here, oh its plot"
"not all wood resists magic damage"
"destroy us all!"
"i could pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer."
"i would fuck lance because who wouldn't"
"ITS BECAUSE IM A DEMON ISINT IT? THATS RACIST!"
" IF YOU LOVED ME YOUD KILL THE SPIDERS"
"Fite me!"
"fuck Shiro because, just look at him. Who wouldn’t?"
"I am tumblr senpai"
"Why is he grinding?!"
"They bonded by beating the shit out of eachother."
"ah ah put those grabby hands away." (wow without context that sounds really dirty)
"if I have social anxiety and YOU have social anxiety then who's going to order the food?"
"now if they made space dad shaped mac and cheese i wouldnt mind so much"
"it could be 1 of 2 things metal leg or morning wood"
"i like chicks not dicks"
"why cant you just say vagina?"
"Ok so if you ever need a break from your mech with a watersport kink let me know."
"I love you" "dude thats gay..." "we are litterly having sex"
"watch your mouth you little shit"
"yes daddy dearest"
"COME HERE MY SPACE CHILD"
"Let me hug you space child"
"i must adopt this lost space child"
"soft and warm space dad"
"omg your so extra"
"hgn those claws he could just rip me apart"
"we can go inside"
"i wouldn't want to expose you"
"he's see more of your girlfriend than you have"
"we had a bonding moment i punched you in the face!"
"I ate my school"
"this limp noodle"
"PRAISE MUNWAY"
"You wanna ride my huge dragon"
"and i don't know....somethin' bout friendship..."
"Tid be a pitty if i killed him off"
"you've been shanked" "..with a ruler..."
"did you just giggle your boobs at me?"
"It was an earth shattering shit"
"I am the pumpkin gardian"
"Hold my beer and watch this mother fucker
"Careful nuts make you swell, just ask your sister"
"My dad the crack dealer"
"balls deep in an au"
"Don't fuck on my expensive leather couch you cunts"
"He's a perceptive hoe"
"blubbering balls of teenage awkwardness"
"What can I say except~ FUCK OFF"
"I am the alpha dad"
"thats a kick in the danger clam"
"your gonna get your weiner stuck in the baby gate"
"I'm taking you back to the pound"
"I'm so sorry the princess had his feelings hurt"
“Hey demons, it’s ya boi, Satan. Give me the homie back”
"my name is stan, im satan"
"I Came Here For A Good Time And All I Got Was Porn"
"it went from warm to freezing because snow miser is shitting on us"
"Near death can be fixed with ducktap"
"I don't remember what I did with my pants"
"It smells" "You smell" "Your face smells" "You almost got punched I'm the face"
"Bueno bear"
"MAKE THAT ANGST YOUR BITCH"
“Gently bullied him into submission”
*Holds up fishing pole and bubbles* hookers and blow.
"To hard, to thick. I'd get hair stuck in my teeth" "...don't ever say that in public."
"Even lesbians like babies"
"My dad is like a fun vampire"
You are a steampunk blood warrior with a plan"
"You are a steampunk blood warrior with a flan"
"You've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth lesbian"
"You just made the inquisitior gay" "Yes" 5 minutes later "So what else us on the table" "The inquisitior"
"Did...did you just call the Cat a butt plug?"
"not like that you kinky fuck"
"kinky princess Matthew holt and his fluffy sidekick Mr whiskers."
"DONT MAKE ME KINKSHAME YOU AGAIN" "MAYBE YOU'LL KINKSHAME ME HARD THIS TIME"
"I'm gay and I'm ready to party"
"You founded a country on cocaine and prostitution?"
"You know what looks delicious" "What" "Your tight ass" "Your a hoe, like ben" "_ lemme smash"
"Human Sacrifice is always an option if you aren't a weak little bitch."
"Last time you had an imaginary friend I'm pretty sure it was a demon"
" I don't want to be propositioned by you in private!"
"Don't vore the dogs"
"Surely not everyone was kung-fu fighting" "They were" "..we're they fast as lightning?" "No they were slow, Tai Chi mother fucker"
"There’s a train of thought but it’s been de railed and Billy the kid robbed it."
"Shes just where burgers go to die"
"Im a priest to our lady of sin and this is my seeing eye dragon"
"Hello nightmares my old freind"
"they took some scaly lizard dick"
"I would go to Satan jazz club"
"Gandalf the off white"
"Stop kicking my puppy"
"You sleep darted that man in the dick"
"i didn't hit puberty...i just kinda shook it's hand"
"Tall, dark, warm and edgy. The perfect dad"
"Cerberus thinks he's a lap dog"
"thank god for incredible upper body strength"
"No ship wars. I multi ship like an adult" "Am I an adult I poly ship?" "Yes"
" my flaccid dagger"
"He's running around like a squirrel on crack"
"Could you please acidenly flex somewhere else your distracting me"
"It is the first day of Christmas fucker"
"Don't make me beat ypu with egg nog"
"Why did it suddenly become British?"
"You've been BLUNDERSTRUCK"
"Slav tellaported from another dimension to punch you in the arm"
"Floating kingdom of dabalon"
"I like my nightshade pomegranate flavored"
"dont dab on my boobs"
"The first vampire ran into the sun"
"I need a pocket sendak"
"Four score and 7 years ago our founding pirates"
"Been fueling up on....."
"Life is a highway?"
"the lyrics are coke and whiskey dumb ass"
"all i want for Christmas is the dreamiest daddy."
"HAIL KURO"
"patience yields fucking"
"Gray haired man on a house coming through" "I tottally thought you said gay haired man"
"Oh... mood"
"You wrap presents like a blind t rex"
"i take a look at me enormous-"
"white privilege."
"I swear to all of the gods I'm going to climb you like a fucking vine"
"The pellar, he uh.... loves his goat"
"whispers goat fuckerrrr"
"sleeping with slytherins" "dont you mean sirens?" "same fucking thing"
"No one told you life was gonna be this-" "Gay?"
"I am truly the hobo on top of the polar express" "No your the homo ontop of the polar express" "Can't she be a homo hobo?"
"Kinkshame me harder"
“Kinkshame me harder spicy papa”
"Male griffin returns and is like what the fuck did you do to my wife"
"WITH YOUR SHAG CARPET ID BE GETTING HAIR BALLS"
"Drug cloud please disperse"
"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"
"BITCH I OUTRANK YOU"
"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"
"Right in the paw patroler"
"Stuffed em up Mr patato head's butt"
"feed me"
"i swear if you start singing-"
"must be blood"
"here she gose again"
"must be fresh"
"i dont wanna hear this"
"FEED ME, FEED ME SEYMORE~"
"Get on the fucking dragon or I will leave you in this tower"
"Vivia le roi" "LONG LIVE THE REVALUATION" "No.... long live the king"
"I'm a senior my vote counts more"
"I am gentle snek"
"The boner wizzard is a girl" "That's a dragon" "Girl dragon"
"my father the actual 5 year old" "thats right 5 times a whole bunch"
"why..... is your icon a crotch buldge?"
"Layers" "Like an oinion" "Yes and their all gonna make you cry"
"You blushing" "I'm pasty and I burn in the sun anytime I go out." "So your burned..?" "Yes fucker"
"You should be careful dancing around with those daggers when I'm throwing fire" "It won't hurt me. It's friendly fire"
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oversharing Time!!!
(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)
Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
1. last drink: Water! off to a great start
2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic
3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”
4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will
5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after
6. dated someone twice? Big No
7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?
8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count
9. lost someone special? yea
10. been depressed? hella
11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no
fave colors
12. Black
13. Lavendar
14. Light blue
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!
16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?
17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely
18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP
19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that
20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story
23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.
24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished
25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day
26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00
27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction
28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration
30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???
32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am
33. most visited website: tungle dot hell
34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.
35. long or short hair: short
36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes
37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times
38. want any piercings? Big No
39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!
40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes
41. relationship status: im married to my laptop
42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo
43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.
44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY
45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck
46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.
47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{
48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!
49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh
50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.
51. trainers: h
more general
52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag
53. drinking: I got another cup of water
54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read
55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE
56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it
57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!
58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win
which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto
60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????
61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner
62. older or younger: i don’t think I care
63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case
64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship
65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: noop
67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me
68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again
69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class
70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p
71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?
72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god
73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao
74. cried when someone died: oui
75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood
do you believe in
76. yourself: YA BB
77. miracles: not as such
78. love at first sight: nah
79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad
80. kiss on a first date: ye!
81. angels: big no
other
82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam
83. eye colour: blue/grey
84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up
85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother
WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Love your writing! A prompt for you: I'd love to see Phil reacting to people saying he doesn't love Dan as much as Dan loves him which I think is stupid??
So, if you’ve read my fic Birthday Sex then you will know that I do not buy into this trope whatsoever, which i must say is a big reason I wrote it. I really just do not see where people are coming from when they say that Dan loves Phil more?? Maybe at the very, very beginning of their relationship it kind of seemed like Dan was a bit of an obsessed lovestruck young kiddo (spoiler: he was) but firstly, it’s important to remember that we don’t get to see everything the two of them say to one another and we already know that Dan tends to share a lot more with the public than Phil does. For example, when has Phil ever (barr his Draw My Life and a few other sparse instances) ever revealed anything serious and personal about himself? Whereas Dan just yesterday opened up about something so deeply intimate that it’s honestly baffling he had the courage at all. My point is that it’s highly, highly likely that there were things said between them behind the scenes that we just did not have any knowledge of whatsoever. I’d draw your attention to the Video That Will Not Be Named as an example, because obviously (if you choose to ignore dnp’s ‘explanation’ and see it as real/true) then it was NEVER meant to be seen by anyone except Dan. Think about that... if youtube hadn’t glitched, that video would not exist to us. How many more videos are there like this one? How many texts and phone calls and private conversations that are probably WAY more schmaltzy and incriminating??
Not only this, but as a follow up point, Phil is older, and he is maturer than Dan. The latter possibly gets less true as time goes on and Dan grows as a person (what a fantastic man he’s becoming I stg im so proud), but certainly up until now, Phil has been the adult of the two of them. Don’t try telling me he acts like a child either, because that’s not the same thing - he’s an entertainer for a family friendly YouTube channel, it doesn’t mean he isn’t a millionaire/business owner/well-educated, successful man. I find it not only silly that people expect him to be fawning over Dan every minute of the goddamn day on camera in order to prove his affection, but just ridiculously unrealistic. He’s a 30 year old man. If he is with Dan, then he’s been in a committed relationship with him for years. They’re over the honeymoon stage. They’re into something far more serious and committed now, and it’s a kind of love that doesn’t need to be shown at all times.
Finally, I just want to add that apart from all I’ve said - neither of them (imo) show much sign of being madly in love with the other at all? I mean, you have to remember that we are a fandom, and it’s so easy to pick apart something and pull out the bits you want to fit your ideal picture. There is evidence of them being a couple, yes, but there’s also evidence against it! Neither of them refer to one another as ‘boyfriend’ or ‘partner’ and I honestly doubt they ever will! Dan is not constantly gooey over Phil, and the same goes the other way around. It baffles me that people can dissect every one of their looks and actions (I’m guilty of it too of course) and come up with these absurd headcanons such as “AWW DAn looks so in love here, and Phil looks so indifferent” because it’s just... it’s just completely ridiculous?? You have nothing to base that on whatsoever apart from a half second clip from a video - the leap to conclusion is beyond crazy.
Idk I am aware i went off on a little ramble here, but this kind of thing is where the phandom descends into a total clusterfucky mess. It’s good to take a breather every once in a while and remind ourselves that the things we do know about the boys is very limited. Our ‘evidence’ from the past is still just a bunch of tweets and videos, none of us know them. I don’t want to destroy any ships, because personally I think there’s a LOT of mystery and confusion shrouding their relationship which could absolutely mean something else is going on, but again, I’m not going to make any mad assumptions about anything because at the end of the day I just don’t know.
ANYWAY. Nothing wrong with writing FICTION about this, and that’s what you’ve asked for, so here my love! Thanks for the question (none of this was aimed at you btw! I know you’re just asking in general about the topic, I just wanted to share my thoughts on it).
Got a prompt for me? Click here! (Please be aware that due to an abundance of prompts, your prompt may take a few days to complete - but thank you all for submitting so far!)
The comment catches his attention, and Phil isn’t sure why.
He’s scrolling through the comment section of the latest DanAndPhilGAMES video, a smile playing on his mouth as he reads everyone’s reactions to Dil’s latest adventures.
It’s a treat he allows himself very rarely nowadays, to look through the comments. As Dan once said, it can be like picking through a minefield. Sure, the vast majority of the comments will be overwhelmingly positive, filled with adoration and appreciation of them both, lulling him into a false sense of security and then BAM! One will jump out, jarring him with its nasty words, or its negative perspective. Reading a mean comment can, even now, when there are literally thousands of nice once to combat it, throw Phil off-kilter for days.
It can make him second guess every creative instinct. It can make him snappy and irritable, or just glum.
This comment, though not exactly mean per se, is one such instance. He tries to ignore it, to just scroll past and move on with his life. It’s just a shipper comment, after all. That’s what he and Dan call them. Around half the comments they get on their videos are from the ‘shippers’. It’s fine. Usually neither of them pay any attention to them whatsoever.
But this one has been upvoted 600 times. It has dozens of replies attached to it, clearly a topic of hot discussion. Phil scrolls back up, gnawing at his lip, and lets his eyes scan over the words again:
It’s so sad when Dan says something funny and looks at Phil all hopeful but Phil just ignores him. Heartbreaking to know that Dan will always love Phil more - ever since 2009. 3
Phil closes his laptop, wishing the words would dissolve from his brain. He shuts his eyes, but they burn behind his retinas, bright and jarring. Where do they get this stuff? Is that truly what people believe?
He reopens his laptop and scrolls back up to the video, dragging the slider over the bar at the bottom of the window, scanning his and Dan’s faces for any signs of what that subscriber had said.
As he scrolls through the video for the sixth time, squinting at the screen, he feels Dan flop down onto the sofa beside him, crunching something. Phil sits up, turning to Dan with warm cheeks, feeling caught out.
Dan raises an eyebrow at him, glancing at the screen. He offers Phil a crisp from the packet in his hands.
“Watching phan videos again?” Dan asks him, smiling.
“Just... checking the comments on the Dil vid.” Phil tells him, and Dan sighs knowingly, placing the crisp packet aside.
“Oh God, what’ve they said now?” Dan asks, shuffling towards Phil in order to see.
Phil wonders if he should even mention this to Dan; it seems like it might be worse for him to know the fans seem to think this way, after all. Inevitably though, Phil breaks, not able to think up a good enough lie.
With some reluctance, he scrolls down to the comment, and waits for Dan to read it, chewing his lip.
“Oh,” Dan says in a strange voice, sitting upright. “That’s... I thought it was gonna be like ‘gay emo dicks’ or something.”
Phil laughs a little, but it’s a hollow, unconvincing sound. “You know that... that’s not true, right?”
Dan looks at him, something small and fearful hidden deep in the recesses of his eyes. “Yeah.”
He doesn’t sound very convinced, and it worries Phil immensely. “You’re my whole world, Dan.” Phil tells him with complete sincerity; Dan looks away, obviously embarrassed by the loaded emotion. “I know it sounds melodramatic. But you are. You’re my best friend, my favourite person in the world. I love you so much it’s crazy.”
There’s a choke to Dan’s voice when he next speaks. “Yeah,” he says again, sniffing. “I dunno where they get their weird ideas, tbh.”
Phil pushes his laptop off his knee, reaching for Dan and pulling him in. He holds him tight, pressing firm kisses into his soft curls. “I’m sorry if it ever comes off that way.” Phil tells him, voice a whisper of itself. “I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel that I might not... love you as much.”
Dan shakes his head. “Don’t be stupid.” He pulls away a little, looking up into Phil’s eyes, his smile watery. “I know how much you love me, you sap.”
Phil surveys him carefully, scanning his face for signs of a lie. Eventually a smirk creeps onto his lips, and Dan zeroes in on it, confused.
“Well,” Phil purrs, leaning forwards until their lips brush. “If you ever need a reminder...”
Dan snorts with laughter, trying to wriggle free of his grip. A few kisses later, however, he seems to give in.
46 notes
·
View notes
Conversation
Monstrous Beauty Text Posts
Jake: What (and i cannot stress this enough) the fuck/ sure. blame the guy who's a huge idiot who causes a lot problems, again/ Me in jail: so are you guys familiar with the cell block tango/ Apparently "the vibes are off" isn't a just excuse to leave work early/ what, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck/ what doesn't kill doesn't kill you/ yesterday at target the cashier said "your receipt is the bag* and I responded with "you too" so I've been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but I'm slowly coming to terms with it which is cool/ *enters my own password* i'm in/ due to personal reasons I will be cheating death/ *gets down on one knee* *gets down on the other* *doesn't get up ever*/ Not to be dramatic but if I don't get my life together I will die/ I have pure intentions, bitch! you can't kill me/ cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you me: yeah he was not very friendly
Storm: Which is messier my life or my hair/ "I am unknowable" I say as I overshare my biggest childhood trauma's in the first conversation with someone/ I love laying the FUCK down and sleeping/ me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault/ my only goal in life is to destroy the space-time continuum/ i am a huge fan of space, both outer and personal/ Yeah sex is great but have you looked at common English words and then followed their systematic time changes back through Old English and Proto-Germanic all to the way to their Proto-Indo-European roots, whispered one of those roots out loud, and been overwhelmed by a sense of Lovecraftian insignificance as it dawns on you that you just reached back across scores of centuries and spoke a word older than civilization itself?/ but i don't have a hyperfixation i'll die
Adrienne: im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. i want to be set loose./ are my prophetic visions a joke to you/ There has been a lady inside my head screaming for the past 10 years and u think taking a bath and doing yoga will stop her? U are wrong. She is a very mad lady and she will not be silenced/ Cranky because you haven't had any prophetic dreams to aid you on your quest aren't you/ i wish it was 1600 so i cood spelle words howe everr my harte destyred/ me: *hangs out with little kids and tries to teach them self love and feminist ideas*/ Pros and cons of wearing all black pros: hot as hell cons: hot as hell/ If someone points at your black clothes and asks you who's funeral it is, a look around the room and casual "haven't decided yet" is a good response
Solais: mentally i'm at least 5"11. physically? don't worry about it/ don't call yourself edgy unless you talk to dead people and have daddy issues/ im a simple gal. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour/ once i figure out how to hold a conversation it's frienship for you bitches/ me: *is tiny* me: (;'._.');/ no homo bro *thinks about you* thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you*/ Listen man I'm just trying to wear soft sweaters and read my books and love myself/ i was put on this earth to eat bagels and be gay/ actually Ratatouille is the dish's name, you're thinking of Ratatouille's monster. im what the kids call
attention seeking/ me gay? why yes thank you for noticing/ on all levels except physical, i am a little heart shaped candy that says "i'm all yours!"/ nothing is awkward or cheesy if you don't give a fuck. i'm on this earth to have a good time. not to be cool./ i aspire to be one of those people who is known for always smelling good and treating people kindly/ big heart energy/ me @ you: >> this is my protecting women and girls knife/ doing violence tonight so watch out if you're weak to attacks/ why did my last two braincells have to be a sad one and a stupid one/ goes to the kitchen holds a knife in my hand for a while. puts it back. goes back to my room
Mal: these hands rated e for everyone/ forgive me father for I have sinned in all the coolest and most glamorous ways possible/ "I expected better from you" well that was your fault lmao i got nothing to do with that/ im beautiful im delicious i literally cannot die i want 200 dollars/ friendly reminder that i literally cannot die, and id love to see any of you fuckers try to take me down/ Slutty in theory but not in practice/ I just wannna be vaguely unsettling, not even scary or creepy, I just want people to look at me and feel like there's something A Little Bit Wrong but they don't know what when they tell the story of the slighty cryptid being to their friends later/ Hmmm gay rights but only for me i think? The rest of you are on your own/ i say i'm gay a lot for someone who is technically bisexual/ occupation: the family disappointment/ [steps on my emotions and grinds them under my heel] anyways/ i am evil and not straight/ me: breathes parents: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ATTITUDE/ you ever listen to your dad talk and be like "why are you like this?"/ dont you hate when you wake up and you're awake/ oh god...oh fuck...*yearns*/ Due to personal reasons I'll be going feral/ Quitting school to become a plant who wants to join me we can make a forest/ Anyways! *climbs out of the scattered and ruined debris of my feelings*/ so what if i love you. shut up/ i ask myself 48 times a day "am I being dramatic? Is this #toomuch?" the answer is always yes of course/ *lawyer voice* eat a dick, your honor/ I may seem like an asshole but deep down I'm good person and even deeper down I'm a bigger asshole/ in my defense, i was left unattended
0 notes
Text
so yesterday i finished all for the game for the second time in my life (weird thing i've never read a book or series twice) and it wrecked me for the second time. it was unexpectedly nice that i actually understood everything with so much clarity, but that makes sense i've got lot of practice in reading english since then. also, i wrote my thoughts on the book this time.
i can't understand how a book can have such an impact on me, i hate that and i love it, everything else that crossed my mind is under the cut
★huh andrew really bullied aaron into dressing identical to mess up with neil
★"i don't swing either way" is the phrase that made me feel more valid that the whole queer community ever
★neil is pure nihilism
★how can i EVER forget neil wore a tight long sleeved TORN tshirt that andrew bought this is way too much
★seth is dead and all kevin can think about is the line up tbh i do that often
★they are making a scandal about how they sit
★kevin telling neil "destroy him" filled me with power
★the most unreal part is neil ALWAYS keeping his roots another colour the guy must dye his hair every fucking week
★how did neil buy andrew's promise to protect him from the japanese mafia's professional murderers when the only people he physically bullies is an obsessive young adult with anxiety, a princess in high heels and his sunshine sister in law
★wait a fucking minute andrew saw neil filled with terror while holding the phone and immediately gave him the car keys so he could be alone fuck
★nicky fucking hemmick attended to improv class
★ according to dan few athletes were crude enough to start trouble at an ERC event, you mean as crude as neil?
★how to take care of your teammate while he's in a crisis according to: andrew→show concern and reassure him. wymack→10 seconds of vodka
★"hey, jean. jean valjean" is peak comedy
★the ravens walking in v formation is genuinely the most cringy thing you can think of
★neil first finds out the only possible person to date him is andrew because he was jealous of renee are you kidding me
★andrew only missed 13 from 150 shots on goal for fucking real what a Man
★renee is an angel, she's specifically andrew's angel
★neil truly is a watcher
★bee wearing a bee costume is the only good thing on this world
★dan and matt dressed like greek gods!!!!! they can adopt me already
★can you believe nicky is the one who got into neil's brain and planted the idea of realying on someone, and since then neil actively pursues an investigation on andrew's relationship status how on god's name i missed that HOW he's not even subtle about it damn
★he first worries about renee now about kevin goddamn it josten how can't you se how much you care about him
★it's funny how sexuality is such a heavy topic between them when they sure as fuck have some pretty huge stuff going on you know like dying in the hands of the mafia or being tortured
★i imagine andrew running to renee all bonkers like "listen if the cute guy asks, for fucks sake tell him i'm gay but make it ~casual~ maybe this way he'll get it"
★the sole mention of thanksgiving dinner makes me want to die
★kevin is checking the scores in a newspaper I forget this book is so 00's
★they should have spent the day eating turkey and frozen pie at abby's fuckkkkkkkk
★are you kidding me they are in the middle of a conversation and andrew casually chokes neil a little but it's ok they carry on wtf
★"we are all going to regret this" is the fucking worse piece of foreshadowing in this book
★neil interrogating andrew the same night he was raped what kind of fucking piece of shit does that
★i can't fucking believe neil went ahead and shoved andrew's hand under his tshirt in front of kevin, wymack, betsy and two fucking lawyers are you kidding me
★neil asking "are we? friends?" to nicky is so relatable because i also would have an aneurysm if someone told me i am their friend
★someone else tries to flirt with him and he immediately considers andrew how i was too ace to see it the first time i read
★jesus fucking christ riko is one truly fucked up sociopath and neil is the bravest motherfucker on the land
★how can he face riko like that in the nest and be extremely pure in other occasion
★"are we watching the ball drop? i want to make a wish" he wants to make a wish and i want to die thanks
★i can't believe the whole if it means losing you then no and side effect of the drugs shit it's unreal fucking unreal how oblivious neil is too ace to realize anything SOMEONE JUST CALLED YOU "DREAM" THE LEVEL OF ROMANTICISM
★the amount of heavy staring in this trilogy is ridiculous and all i can think about is twilight
★these books made me see how far from the 00s we are, for many reasons, but mostly for some jokes that can't let slide; like calling neil a battered wife, domestic misogynistic violence is not a joke
★i can't believe from all people, wymack was the first one to get andrew was into neil
★"that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" is such a funny phrase to be said casually why is it
★"you are a racoon, not a fox" oh andrew
★it only took andrew admitting he had a crush for neil to be all sentimental and shit, and that disarmed andrew too
★they are like some kind of animal that while you think they are fighting, they are actually mating, that's exactly what nora meant with feral
★half of last book is neil mooning over andrew jfc
★nicky made neil smile while distracting him from riko im gonna throw myself off a cliff
★i can't quite believe neil goes through a detailed monologue about andrews memory the man is impressed and borderline turned on about every talent on his crushe's shelf
★i literally can't follow and will never understand the quarrel/promise/agreement between aaron and andrew what a bunch of pretentious idiots
★every time neil's phone buzzes all i fear is the fucking countdown
★i thought "i want to see you lose control" was a collective fever dream i can't believe it's written on the books
★if i was nicky i already have told andrew to stop his freaky pretentious shit towards me
★neil to the upperclassman: ha ha fellas is it gay to unthinkingly call andrew in the middle of a anxiety breakdown
★"you gave me a key and called it home" is as soft as heartbreaking i want to jump off a cliff
★"i won't be like them, i wont let you let me be" is actually pushing me off that cliff andrews feelings are a fucking storm
★neil was kidnapped and tortured the day of my bday and that's not a coincidence
★neil's talent to twist the truth in order to convince andrew of anything is outstanding
★excuse me they have no right to be this soft i hate them
★they miss so many opportunities to be funny about the whole "protection" thing
★did he really had a mental breakdown over where to fucking sit on the bus lmao
★"don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face" is the second most awful piece of foreshadowing
★lets be honest for a second andrew should be a fucking writer because all those things he says? edgy myspace pretentious poetry
★im sorry but i don't care about literally anything except neil smiling onto andrew's neck bye
★andrew ghosted a kiss across neil's hip im dead for real
★abby kissed neil's forehead farewell after cleaning all his injuries i have no words he's recieving all the affection he deserves
★cant believe you don't see aaron is fucking worried neil is taking advantage of andrew
★i mean yeah ok don't talk love but neil is sad that nicky thinks it was only hate sex, and he immediately acknowledged it meant more than that to him bc his demi btw wtf does hate sex mean i can't believe you hate someone so much you wanna suck his dick
★they all went horseback riding when will i have a group of friends like that
★"who's humanising who in that relationship" i know right nicky
★kevin locking himself to have a panic attack is the most relatable thing
★the car encounter with ichirou holds the same tension as a mr robot scene
★the proposal of playing olympics and being unstoppable feels like marriage or smth
★neil is literally having his hot girl summer
★i adore neil's overflow of emotions after swallowing everything for so many years. represented, thanks.
★andrew terrorising katelyn who the fuck does he think he is what an annoying asshole
★"did you know i've never been skiing" is the most epic line
★i cheer to the sole mention of laila
★alvares can deck me right now and i would say thank you
★"war is profitable" aaron knows what's up
★sometimes i want to slap them is2g
★that scene at eden's where they are all discussing how roland found out and aaron ends up being the only straight one lmao boy it's your punishment for being so homophobic
★the whole "deadliest piece on the board" spech is 100 times better when you consider kevin was wasted and overly exaggerating every word and gesture
★can you imagine those few fans supporting kevin's new tattoo screaming YAAAAASSSSS QUEEEEEEEEEN while snapping fingers i'm cackling
★matt in court body slamming into anyone that's been a problem to the foxes: VIBE CHECK MOTHERFUCKER
★neil kissed andrew in castle fucking evermore the audacity i adore him
#the foxhole court#the raven king#the kings men#all for the game#tfc#it really fucking wrecked me#how can a fucking book do this to me#my thoughts
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
