hii how have u been pookie?

POOKIE. i died this week. i had the worst week of my LIFE but i FINISHED!!!!! i finished this project it nearly killed me but im done. and now im sitting here bored bc i have nothing to do tn . HOW ARE YOUUUU POOKIE

Bakugou’s daughter brings home a Boyfriend

Bakugou x wife!reader

Ft. Bakugou’s daughter

Warnings: fluff, lowkey Crack, sexual mentions, small angst, cursing, Bakugou being such a dad

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is one of my favorite types of Bakugou. Domestic father Bakugou!! So bc of that fact, this piece was born. Hope you enjoy!

Bakugou as a boyfriend? Bliss. Bakugou as a fiancé? Heaven. Bakugou as a husband? Euphoric

Bakugou as a dad?.......he sure is something

Don’t get me wrong, Bakugou would be the ultimate dad

Baby crying in the middle of the night? Sleep love, daddy’s got it. Baby needs a bottle? He can warm it up with his hands. Baby’s feeling bored? Look at these mini fireworks in his hands!! Katsuki’s got it all

But that’s a baby Bakugou

Bakugou with a teenager

oOf

Katsuki’s teen will be either one of two things

His best friend

Or his mortal enemy (whom he still loves endlessly)

His 16 year old daughter, Katsumi, was both

And yes they loved each other very much, but they also got into battles on who could cook dinner better, who Y/N loved more, hell, when y’all came back from a restaurant THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO MADE IT TO THE FRONT DOOR FIRST

But this battle? Y/N might just let them Kill each other...just this once

——————————————————————————

“WHO THE FUCK IS THI-“

*SMACK* (thx Y/N)

“Daddy, this is Izuru! Izuru this is my lovely mother and that’s my shitty dad that I love so dearly!”

Katsumi definitely inherited her guts from the Bakugou’s

“Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs. Bakugou!”

Ah man, here we go

Silence. Pure, awkward, scary, silence. And of course Y/N’s nervous twitching HOPING that her dear husband doesn’t murder the green haired boy. As the young couple stand infront of the doorway smiling, the older couple is staring at them, one in nervousness, and the other in shock. (I’m talking Denki going 4 million volts shocked)

“Well.....Welcome Izuru! I knew you’d be coming over soon but I didn’t expect it tonight. It’s lovely to meet you,” Y/N ever so kindly said once she let out a sigh.

Her husband almost got whiplash from how fast he turned to look at her. “Knew?!? You knew about this kid?? And didn’t bother to tell me?!??”

“Well if I told you, you woulda stopped this meeting from happening ya jerk!” Y/N visciously explained.

“YA DAMN RIGHT CUZ-“ silenced with another smack from his wife. Y/N sure learned a lot from Mitsuki. “Please come in you two, I’ll start dinner.”

As the young couple sat in the living room speaking, the older one was in the kitchen preparing food. Well one of them was, the other was too busy burning a whole into the poor boy’s body with just his eyes.

*SMACK*

“Ow.” Continues to stare

“Suki stop that, you’re gonna scare the poor boy.” Y/N said.

“GOOD. I DONT WANT SOMEONE LIKE HIM CONTAMINATING THE BAKUGOU LINE!” The blonde dramatically yelled.

“Contaminating? Love, we don’t even know if they’ve had sex. I doubt he’s “contaminating” anything any time soon.” You said with attitude.

Bakugou just stared at you know with the same look.

“Hmph!” And turned to look back at the kids.

“HEY!” Bakugou screamed.

“Heyyyyy~” Katsumi replied.

“No not “Heyyyy~,” Katsuki began and replied with a girly impersonation of his daughter as he walk towards the couple. “I mean, HEY, as in have you had sex with this kid?” He sternly asked.

“KATSUKI OH MY GOD,” Y/N screamed as she dropped something in shock.

“.......Yeah, so what?” His daughter replied.

Y/N wasn’t even mad. She already knew. She could tell. Mother’s instinct I guess.

Katsuki was fuming.

“NOPE! NO! THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT GO ON! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX!” The older blonde screamed while looking at the now blushing green haired teen and his rebellious daughter. And Y/N was just giving him this...look.

‘What a fucking hypocrite’ you thought to yourself.

“How old were you when you fucked mom?”

(ITS QUIET AINT NO BACKTALK)

Pure and utter silence.

Katsuki started stepping back from the couple while facing them and nodding his head. “.....use condoms,” and walked back to his deceased wife.

As dinner is placed on the table and everyone takes their seats, Katsuki can’t help but stare at this boy. Why does he seem so familiar?

Everyone just ate and talked. Grades, school, when did y’all meet, how long has it been? The usual. But Katsuki remained silent while thinking. And then..it clicked!

Katsuki slammed his hands on the table and stood up from his seat looking at the boy across from him. “What’s your last name?!”

Izuru was nervous because he was well aware of who Katsumi’s father was and how her father’s relationship with his own father was kinda iffy.

“M-Midoriya sir.” He nervously stated.

Katsuki saw red.

“DEKU?!??????!!!!!” He screamed

“Oh come on Katsuki! Like that wasn’t obvious!” You said rolling your eyes.

“There is NO WAY IN HELL I’m gonna let the Bakugou line be contaminated with Deku’s genes! Our family line only brings in the best of the best!” Katsuki proudly and loudly stated.

“So what am I?” Y/N asked.

“The best of the best! You were and are the perfect one for me Y/N! You know this, I know this, everyone knows this. And look at what we created-“ he was interrupted by his wife.

“A mini you?”

“A MINI ME! And who wouldn’t want that?!”

“Dad.” Katsumi said.

Now that caught Katsuki off guard. For the past 16 years, Katsumi has always been a daddy’s girl. She never called him “dad,” ew. She said “Daddy,” or “Shitty dad.” As Katsuki turned to his daughter he could see the look in her eyes.

“.......you really wanna be with this kid?” He asked.

“I really do.” Katsumi said while grabbing onto Izuru’s hand.

“...Ok then. You can be with him.” Katsuki calmly said.

Katsumi excitingly got up and ran towards her dad’s seat giving him a hug.

“Thanks daddy,” she said while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Dinner continued on as normal as it could. Katsuki was just gonna have to learn how to let go.

Later

As the married couple got ready to sleep, Katsuki was hanging outside their balcony.

“What was up with you Blasty? I haven’t seen that kinda Katsuki since UA.” You jokingly said as you went to stand beside him.

“You’re not scared?” Katsuki asked.

“Of?”

“Katsumi. She’s growing up. She has a boyfriend now. That girl is having sex! She’s not daddy’s little girl anymore.” He sadly said.

“That’s what this is about? Katsumi growing up? Suki, this was always gonna happen. She’s in her prime teenage years. She’s 16! A lots gonna start happening.” You began.

“I know that but-“

“But nothing Katsuki. You can be scared of her growing up, I am too, but we can’t be so scared that we try and stop her. You just have to know that Katsumi will always come back to us no matter how old she is. And she will always, always be a daddy’s girl. Her entire world revolves around you Katsuki, but we gotta let her go at some point. We have to let her grow. That’s how the best of the best are made after all, right? It’s what we look for in a Bakugou.” You finished.

Katsuki couldnt do anything but smile. You were right. He knew you were. And he was willing to let his little cub grow.

“......You’ve gotta stop interrupting me when I talk.” He laughed.

“And you’ve gotta stop saying the dumbest shit in the world.” You teased back.

He pulled you in for a quick peck and just held you there in his arms. He was so glad he had you to keep him grounded. You’re the best of the best after all. It only makes sense.

“Daddy?” Katsumi walked into her parents room, unnoticed.

As the two broke the hug to see their daughter, looking a little timid, Katsuki spoke.

“Katsumi, hey princess. What’s up with you.” Katsuki asked as he walked towards his daughter.

“You’re not...disappointed in me, right? You know, for who I chose to be with. I’m sorry if I chose Izuru but I-“ this time, it was Katsuki who interrupted.

“Hey hey, no of course not baby bear. I would never be disappointed in who your true feelings pulled you to. I don’t want you to apologize for anything when today I caused most of the trouble.” Katsuki said while wiping one of his daughter’s stray tears.

“You know I’m never gonna leave you guys. Right? I’m gonna grow up but I’ll always want to have a close relationship with you and mom. I love you guys, and I’m not going anywhere.” Katsumi said.

“We know Katsumi. And we love you too. And we’re far from disappointed in you. We are so proud of the young woman you’ve become today.” Y/N joined in.

Katsumi ran to her mother and gave her the tightest hug, and Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at his two girls. His world. His entire reason for living. All right there in his arms as he pulled them in for a bigger hug.

“Thanks you guys. Well, I’m gonna head to bed. I’ve got a date with Izuru tomorrow and I don’t wanna be late.” Katsumi began walking towards her parents door until Katsuki called her.

“Hey baby bear,”

“Yeah?”

“Izuru. He seems alright. He’ll be good for you.” Katsuki admitted.

“Yeah. He really is. He’s the best of the best after all. Reminds me of someone I know.” Katsumi said while leaving the room.

Yeah. Katsuki will be just fine.

A/N: Sheesh. This kinda sucked but I did this in my literature class sooo....it’s still credible work since I was writing, right? Yeah..?....No?...yeah ok. Anyways, HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT BEAR CUBS🧸💗

P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!! And I PROMISE I’ll get better and produce more work. Feel free to leave requests!

berry | k.s.w

pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers

summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.

word count: 1.9k

note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo

-

you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.

he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.

so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.

until he couldnt take it anymore.

you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.

"found ya!"

sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.

sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.

"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"

you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.

"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"

sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.

"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"

sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.

"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.

"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.

"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"

-

you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.

you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.

sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.

"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.

"hey look at me,"

you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.

"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"

silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.

its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.

that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.

on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.

sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.

at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.

you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.

"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"

he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.

"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"

you smiled, this time sincerely at him.

"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"

he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"

you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.

"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"

"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"

you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.

"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"

you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.

"does he know about your feelings?"

you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.

"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"

you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"

its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.

"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"

you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.

"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"

"you'll find out soon,"

-

sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.

"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"

he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.

"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"

sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.

"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.

"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"

you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.

"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"

you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.

"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"

sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.

"i like you,"

you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.

"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"

"sunwoo-"

"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"

at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.

"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.

you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.

"sunwoo its you,"

"what?"

"i love you too,"

you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.

"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.

you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.

"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"

"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.

"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.

"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"

Talking in you sleep

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Reader says Beetlejuice's name 3 times in their sleep, but hes already in their home

Sfw

Idk been thinking about this for ages

Just a small fic

It was an accident

It was no secret to anyone that you talk in your sleep, not full sentences, just a word or two, nothing too abnormal, you didn't know about this little quirk of yours until a certain foul mouthed undead demon wormed his way into your life, he was the one who told you.

...

"Ya know you chatter on in your sleep?" He'd  chuckle as if he found something truly embarrassing to bug you about.

"How'd you know? Am I that loud you can hear me in the livingroom?"

"Nah, I watch you sleep" he said it so plainly as if it wasnt super creepy.

The ghoul eventually upped his late night habits from watching you sleep, to sleeping in the same bed as you, he did this so often you stopped setting up the couch for him and just accepted your fate to be spooned every night by a creepy old dead guy who you may or may not have a crush on

...

The nights you've babbled in your sleep always brought on annoying mornings of beetlejuice teasing you, probably lying through his teeth over how you moan his name in you sleep to get you worked up for his own amusement, unfortunately you couldnt prove you didnt since your dreams never really stuck with you long after waking.

Hell with your late night chatter you even manged to summon beej once in your sleep, a night he was spending over at the Deetz, you manged to say his name 3 times in a row, spoken, unbroken, in your sleep, and boy was your face red when you woke up and saw the bastard in question sitting inches from your face with the widest shit eating grin you've ever seen on his face, that was an instance you couldnt deny saying his name in your sleep and dreaming about him, you missed him, of course you think about the demon when you two are apart, even the few days he's with the Deetz and the maitlands.

Tonight wasnt one of those nights, beetlejuice has spent the entire day glued to your side, chatting your ear off about all the scares he and lydia pulled in your absence, his stories always made you smile, the way he practically glowed green with excitement as he retold his showmanship to you.

The night went on with bad jokes and fun stories as the demon filled you in on all the fun you missed while you were doing boring adult breather things and how the two of you should mess with some unlucky breathers so he could show you how amazing he truly was, as if you needed proof that the ghoul was a ham who loved to show off.

As the two of you sat on the couch laughing away, forgetting the movie that basically became White noise to your conversation, a yawn escapes your lips

"Getting tired babes? Am I really that boring" the ghoul teased pinching you cheek

You groan and pull away "well, yeah, unlike you mister freeloader, I worked all day" you shrug before letting out another yawn

"Freeloader? Oh sugar, your words hurt" the ghoul fakes hurt, giving you an over exaggerated gasped face, with his hands over where a person's heart would be "I thought we had the mutual understanding that I was your trophy husband"

You give the demon a soft laugh "you wish-"

"Every night baby~" he purrs pink stripes slowly appearing in his hair

You freeze, it wasnt uncommon for beetlejuice to openly flirt with you, but that doesnt mean it didnt make you freeze up everytime, you werent exactly the type people lined up to date, nor were you very popular growing up, so the sudden and intense attention the demon gave you always made your heart pound.

"Uh, um, I think I'm gonna head to bed" you stammer before getting up "night beej" you mumble before disappearing into your bedroom.

The demon stifles a laugh, god slash satan you were a delight to get worked up, not to mention easy. He loved it, his favourite little breather was always so hot when they were an embarrassed mess.

The ghoul decides to finish the movie the two of you had on in the background, before heading to bed with you, he didn't need to sleep, just enjoyed being snuggled up to that soft warm body of yours, and it was more rewarding to sneak in after you were out cold, bed would be already warm, and with the added thrill of not wanting to wake you.

As the credits roll beetlejuice snaps his fingers and tv goes dark, the ghoul raises from the couch and gives a yawn and a long stretch as if he was exhausted. The demon makes his way to your room, standing outside your door he pauses at the sound of your voice

"Beetlejuice"

It was soft, barely audible, but herd it, guess you were still up, beetlejuice phases through your bedroom door, to be greeted by your sleeping form.

He stifled a chuckle, you were dreaming of him, tomorrow was gonna be great, the ghoul was already busy thinking about ways to poke fun at this in the morning, moaning out his name in you sleep? What kind of dream were you having babes? He could see your face now.

"Beetlejuice" you mumble again in a whisper

"Whoa there babes, you know the rule, one more time and I'm out" he whispers making his way to your bed.

"Beetlejuice" you sigh

"Y/N!" was the the only thing he had time to shout before vanishing.

His shout was enough to make wake you, but not enough to clue you in to what you just did, you grumble out a swear before rolling over and going back to sleep.

The next morning you wake up, a tad confused to not have a snoring dead guy weighing you down, normally on nights beetlejuice would stay over he'd slip into bed with you after you've fallen asleep, using your chest as a pillow.

You dont think much of it at first, heading to the kitchen to make some coffee before getting dressed, you did notice there was no beej there either, waiting for you kettle to boil you give your little home a quick sweep for the demon, nothing.

He's vanished to do his own thing before, he was a grown man, sometimes he'd duck out and mess with the neighbors in your apartment complex, but he would at least leave you a note or something.

You started to worry, what if something awful happened to him? Then it clicked, lydia must had summoned him away to hang out, that had to be it, and with that thought all dread left you so you could carry on with your day, since bj wasnt around you took the opportunity to get a few odds and ends done.

The day drags on into the late evening, you were enjoying the peace as you catch up on some reading.

Your phone rings, looking at the screen you see its lydia, that's odd, she normally texts you if anything

"Hello?"

"Y/n I need to ask beetlejuice something"

"Isnt he with you?"

"What? No-"

Dread returns to you chest, you havent seen him since last night, he left no note, he wasnt with lydia, did something awful happen? was he bored with you? You felt like you were going to be sick

"Y/n?"

"I gotta go" was all you could say before hanging up,

"Beetlejuice!"

Nothing

"Beetlejuice!"

Again nothing, he normally came after the second yell, anxiety for your dear friend make you since to your stomach in fear for the worst, you steady yourself and take a deep breath and say it for a third time

"Beetlejuice"

With a puff of green smoke there stood the ghoul, unfortunately sporting a purple hue

"Bee-"

"It took you that long to notice I was gone?"

"No, I-"

"Why did it take so long then? Enjoying your time without me?!" Red streaks began to show up amongst the purple

"I thought lydia summoned you back-"

"And you waited till now to check?!"

"I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER THE TWO OF YOU" you yelled back, beetlejuice is taken abck by your volume, you take a deep breath "if I knew why you were gone I would have said something sooner, what happened?" You say calmly gently taking the demon's hand, red now fading away, though the purple stayed

"You sent me away, you said my name 3 times in your sleep and sent me back to the netherworld" he refused to look at you as if you did this on purpose to mess with him.

"Bee, I'm sorry, I would have never done that on purpose, i- i love having you around, and I, god, i miss you when you're not here, with me" now it was your turn to refuse eye contact, admitting such a cheesy thing, you wanted to just die, not that it would help.

The purple hue is quick to leave the ghoul's form in replacement with a much softer pink, you missed him, music to his ears.

"Sugar" beetlejuice grabs your chin and forces eye contact

You give him a soft smile seeing that he was no longer purple, but also when he pulls you into a rather over exaggerated dip and sloppy kiss "so how bout we make up for some lost time and you can make this little misunderstanding up to me, what do you say babes?~"

You only stutter and choke on your words as the demon spins you around

"Would you like to scare some delivery guy and watch a bad slasher?" You finally get out

The demon pauses for a moment, as if to think about this offer.

"Normally I'd be delighted honey, but I think you owe me~ how bout you have to sit on my lap the entire film~" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you, you swallow the lump in your throat, this was gonna be a long night

Bonus

The two of you were snuggled together on the couch, Beetlejuice's arms were around your waist, his head on your shoulder, your bum on his lap.

"So babes, whatever you dreaming about last night?"

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically

June 19, 2021

Sat 3:05am

its been a long time. not much has changed, still at home. i was dreading going back to school for a long time. idk, maybe it wont be so bad. alice has been home for a few days before her residency starts. locked myself in my room tonight bc i didnt want to talk to anyone. feels rly bad that mom & alice commplain abt dad, then keep enabling his bad behavior by letting him do things that he knows will make everyone unhappy then pretending that everything is okay whenever he wants to be ok. i always felt like a mediator growing up & i still keep doing work 1-1 with everyone in this family bc they wont think abt what they need from each other & just bicker all the time. then they tell me abt it like im a little puppy or a magical imaginary friend or smth. i was having anxiety naps then was watching mick & yune & eren livestream on ultrarareos twitch. i dreamed that it was mom & dads birthday, & we all went somewhere for dinner, then alice was asking me which bar we should go to for a drink next & i was like any one is ok bc i havent gone to any & she was getting frustrated at me for not making the decision, & i was already so mad at dad, & mom was saying how the bbar isnt so different from the restaurant so why dont we stay here, so i told alice its ok to stay here too, & she got mad at me for changing the plans. felt rly bullied waking up that my dream couldnt be abt something else. i started watching twitch streams mostly bc i have no friends, & i wanted to hear someone talk, esp bc adele doesnt rly msg me & sherry is kinda gone into internet bullshit so i feel like she doesnt even rly want to hang out when we r together. i miss having queer friends, i miss thinking someone is looking out for me, wanting to see me, or wanting to know how i feel. i msged simon a few weeks ago, who i used to know of as shirley. we hung out twice, & i want to see him again, but i think he isnt so interested in me bc i am boring these days. he was very excited to meet me bc i was mysterious & intriguing but i think it died down fast. its ok. i think its better to be distant friends instead of building up the kind of resentment toward friendships i have when everyone needs me to feel good at strange times in their lives but insists on our relationship model as unimportant and transient. i hate this idea but i also rly do want to date at some point. i have so much resentment toward the thought that it is the only viable thing to do, esp for someone so unviable like me. maybe i just wanna have sex, to feel wanted for a moment, & to think that there r tangible ways to walk into the future. fucking sucks. i think i can imagine more clearly how it feels to have sex tho, & i want it. maybe i wanna top a man that feels like the earth... vast & incapable of malice, able to give & receive violence, no more precious than my own body bc we r of each other. i got a metal wand a few days ago & i get it now. it feels rly good to let the motions move me. feels more like pressing buttons tho, but i can imagine how the feelings could resonate & amplify with scent, taste, & touch. i was reading an instagram post abt how beel hooks said in an interview that sexual liberation is celibacy & i dont think shes wrong. i think it probably has something to do with that article she wrote abt tasting, or having taste for, the other. i think, for myself, i have to learn someday.. to be anarchic on the level of myself... to be full & communal within myself.. to let go of those desires to hold on forever, so tightly, so intensely, to trust... & rly be in relationship with myself & my satisfactions. it sounds antithetical to why i was interested in anarchism to begin with, that idea that i could depend on other ppl bc it is the only way that anyone hasnt died. i still think it is true, but i think it is also an idea that is going to hurt me over & over & over in ways worse than being here or not here anymore. 

theres this seed that grows in the desert. the thing is, its going to die, right? theres no way it can grow there. im thinking abt how folks like me end up here, & what comes after. i dont want to leave home. isnt that the cruelest thing to my spirit & to the physical lives of everyone who is severed from my presence? maybe that cruelness isnt so bad. the thing is, the desert is everywhere. the seed might learn to get carried in the wind toward an unfamiliar stretch of desert. whose to say if the forests of origin still exist? can succession occur in this place that has been treated as garbage? its a paradise for those desert-dwelling folks. but seeds are only here to die. it feels like punishment. i dont want to grow scales & crawl with the rest of the folks who live. they have hurt & abused & chuckled while i have been withering. i dont blame them for living, but i will not forgive & become them either. they r the ppl i have grown up being told to love, for their love sustains my short moment of being. what do ppl like me do? it doesnt matter bc they arent me. the ones who survive r the ones i feel resentful toward. they betray me, they pretend to love me as much as they love the desert, they gaslight me into wanting this life. i am not grateful. maybe if i live long enough, i will become a vibrant poison. otherwise, this refusal is retribution enough. 

felt so down..

i wanted to talk to people so badly. by people, i meant those whom i am close with. super close with, esp him. i do have ppl whom are extremely close to me. but i dont dare to approach them due to as follows: 

poon: he is with his friends, he wont have the time to entertain me also, well, there were times i couldnt control myself and texted him, i got a single word ‘ok’, i know where i stand, i backed off. i switched off my phone literally. idw to have more disappointment in my alrdy bad and sad mood. rather than unknowingly text him and anticipate he would at least ask how i am. i rather not meet with such a disappointment. well if he knows that i am really trying my best to cope with my feelings and thoughts, he would auto read this without me telling him. cos if i dont spam him, i go to insta, if i dont go to insta, i come to tumblr. these are the ways i penned down how i feel and what i think when there is no one to talk to me, no one whom i can chat with. 

steph: in gasglow, i dont want her to be burden with my issues. she will know when she returns when we catch up anws. 

chanel and jiawen: we are drifting apart. they are the ppl i joke ard with but no longer the ones whom i find to rant about. as i always hang out with poon, i dw them to feel i treat bf more than i treat my bff. i dont want them ti feel they are spare tyre. 

sheena and sam: i scared i make them feel overwhelm with my issues. plus sheena is no coping well alrdy, idw to add to her problems. 

mum: she no longer is my close listening ears. i nvr tell her many things, in fact, i nvr say much about myself anymore, except rant about dad to her. other than that, nth. idw her to worry about me, esp my studies. i didnt tell her i wasnt coping well in school lately also. she’s too busy dealing with my dad anws. 

dylan: he is a gd friend, but then i am not comfy telling him too many things. 

xx: i lose the position to rant to him. before i got into a relationship, he was always there when i was feeling down. be it normal classes whereby i am feeling sad or stress, he will buy me oreo (altho he say his house got unlimited supplies, so many times, he think i believe meh). he can chat with me for the entire night when i was feeling so lost about some issues in the past. he takes care of me like a little sis. often he is the one who can notice i am sad and try ways to make me happy. i always treated him as my bro. he is like my younger/older bro. because of many reasons, i distant myself from him. i dont want poon to be jelly about xx and me, neither do i want to make xx feel sad, so the best way is to distant from him. 

it has been long since i felt like cutting myself. thankfully that feeling happens when i was on a cab, i have no access to pen knife. if not idk what would happen to myself. honestly, i just wanna just rot in bed tmr, i dont feel like meeting anyone, but cos i promise alrdy, i have to appear.. 

it is getting worst, i overthink. i overthink in my sleep also. idw to. idk how to tell my brain to gimme a break. i really wanna break free from overthinking. i even woke up from a worst case scenario about poon me and my parents. i was awaken by this dream today, it scares me but i didnt share with him. 

what i feel now. towards poon. yes, i am his gf. apart from saying ‘i love u’, he technically did nth thru out the entire day i was down. i understand that he is with his friend. but i am feeling too low to even be considerate about it. at least, talk to me abit? make me feel a bit btr instead of just ‘i love u’? i know u love me and you mean it, but in times of this, too much of such phrases makes me feel i am not impt. i am just a person whom you have to say ‘i love u’ to a few times a day. for so long, i havent felt so lonely on terms of texting. i am a heavy texter to ppl whom i am comfortable in. he is one of them. i always felt a bit sad that when i am awake, he is asleep, why cant fate let him have a normal sleeping time? i really wish he was at least awake to text me when i am on my way to school or in school.. yes, he blame me that i didnt call him up or wake him up, but certain things, it doesnt comes from me, it takes his effort, not just mine. i mean if a person is asleep, what for wake him up for a casual chat esp when the reason is i am bored? this is so unreasonable. 

just ytd issue. btn poon and me. when i started to put in more trust in him, he shakes it again. i trusted him to come meet me with monster also, in fact, i anticipated that, that was the encouragement i told myself, the only reason that keep me awake. the thought of my bf visiting me and delivering a drink i needed so badly that day. end up, he did come (make me feel i am his priority but i was guilty). before that, i was comtrolling my temper not to rage at him. honestly, what does he mean. well if i was in his shoes, it is very simple. come to the gf then meet his friends afterwards. cos he promise the gf to come alrdy, but didnt promise the gf to wait for her after her test. what was promise first should be carried out, what is so hard about it? for me, personally, whoever i made a promise with first, i go with the promise first. unless that person is fking impt to me, which is him, whenever he wants to meet last minute, i have to push some of my plans away just to meet him. i really hope he knows it is hard for me to lie all the time, i dont have so much lies in me to hide from my parents all the time. and in order to make a lie, i have plan ahead, if it is so last minute, i cant think of a perfect reason to lie. but he doesnt get it? he seems to take it for granted that i can meet him any time sometimes, that is what i feel. sometimes, i have to get back home early cos i cnt go home too late. one is my fears of going home alone late at night, second is i cant see shit at night, three my mum is worried for me too. one more thing, shouldnt he pull me into the conversation instead of asking me to try on my own? isnt it easier for him to pull me into a conversation with his friends rather than i awkwardly ask them weird qns? i just hate it when he force me to talk, and if i dont, he would get upset, like srsly, i didnt talk for a reason okay. 

well i do appreciate his efforts, waking up before i go and caring for me. but if he’s gonna ignore me or forget about me when he is with his friends, i rather he dont show me i am his priority. cos it is fking hard to deal with when he isnt there to reply me all the time, reply as in a continuous conversation not a single word of trying to brush me off, yes, it might be a form of acknowledgement of it to me. but then, if i rant to him, do i really need an acknowledgement? hmm, i doubt so. i hate spamming him my feelings my thoughts cos he reads but dont reply me one by one, i hate that. if i tell you my feelings and thoughts fking reply, rants, at least tell me sth instead of a word ‘i reply later cos i chatting or gaming with my friends’ is still btr than a word, but ofc, make sure he replies afterwards lah, if not the words has no meaning. 

it is so hard to not text a person whom you text all the time a day. it is not i didnt wanna text, i am so fking tired and disappoointed at the nonchalant, okay not even nonchalant reply, just a word answer seems like i am disturbing him and brushing me off. i tried to text him, but if i am gonna get a word, what for i continue, sometimes it is not i didnt wanna spam. it’s just i know he wont reply to every single thing, so i am avoiding that disappointment. it takes two hands to clap, he want me to do this, then prove to me, it is worth it. like spamming, you want me to spam, then reply everything lah, i know i say b4 he need not necessarily reply everything but who doesnt want to be replied, if not send for what? 

he always wanted me to text him ‘i want him now’, why would i text a person asleep that? does he knows how much courage it takes for me to ask for things i want?  for almost 10 years, i havent been living for myself, i live for others, i nvr really requested a lot of things. idk how and i fear rejections, imagine mustering tons of courage then got rejected. hell no am i gonna make myself suffer that. best eg, first time i asked him to bring me sth that is extremely out of his way for me, he came but didnt fulfil the things i want. seeing him makes me not angry but the sadness doesnt disappear. 

i am like this now cos i want him to talk to me, even if it is for 2 mins, show that he tries to understand how i feel now. but nah, nope, i had enough of dissapointment today. i aint gonna on my phone until tmr. if he is late for tmr, i am so gonna ignore him for a day. 

as much as i wanna blame him for having fun and forgot about me. but i cnt. 

enough of him.

what cause me so sad and down. it is like i am awake but i aint doing my work. i dont have the energy to do so. i am so tired of everything. 

academic failure. is extremely strong when i failed my CT. 

stress. i m dealing with so many in schools but no one exactly knows what i am going thru. 

home: i have to smile to maintain i am okay feels. one not to let my parents worry and not to anger them. 

friends: i dgaf about them alrdy. i dont have the mood to deal with them. 

him: i am just idk, extremely sad and dissapointed about it, how he acts/ treats me these 2 days, esp today. 

wtv happens next, tonight, i wont gurantee. whether i harm myself or not. i cant be sure. controlling it is so hard. death to me aint scary, what i am scared of is the sadness ppl felt if i harm myself. 

dont blame me to disappear. if he shown more effort, i wouldn't have disappeared due to sadness and disappointment. actually, would he even know i disappear? 

or maybe, i havent been okay, cos i felt neglected by him... apart from my parents, only one more person can me feel so dead when i am alrdy unhappy, which worsen my sadness. 

IF HE HAPPENS TO FIND TILL HERE, I SALUTE HIM COS I DONT EXPECT HIM AT ALL. which implies he knows how to find me when i dissapear. 

Feeling like I’m having a nervous breakdown

Hey guys so ok this is gonna be a very long post ‘cause I’m having a nervous breakdown and I dont think I can keep going like this.

From where do I start? 

I’m listening to “Fuck you” so probably I should start by speaking about Federico. Federico was my ex boyfriend and we were together for about 4 months (you may think it’s not so much time but for me it is). So you know how we broke up? No? Well, me neither. I was just getting very annoyed by his attitude and he gradually stopped asking me to hang out. So one day I called him and he didnt answer. After that day we didnt see each other anymore. That sucks right? No it doesn’t because I am a fucking strange person that can’t prove normal feelings.

I just let it go. That’s the end. And when I see him around the city with his friends, I’m only able to complain about them being all FUCKBOYS! 

I FUCKING HATE FUCKBOYS 

You wanna know where my hate comes from? All the guys I meet in this fucking city (which is making me wanna throw up so bad) anyway, all the guys just wanna fuck me and I’m fucking fed up! I deserve love and emotions and all those beautiful stuff that you get when someone CARES. I feel like no one cares, so why should I?

I went on a therapy till december, then I had to stop taking ZOLOFT ‘cause it was giving me more anxiety. So I started another therapy. On my own. I started building self-confidence. And now I seriously believe that I’m worthy and that I am unique and that no one can put me down. I SERIOUSLY believe that I’m an amazing creature with all the right stuff in the right place. So where’s the point?

The point is that I’m fed up of being forced to separate sex from emotional commitment: SEX IS EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, YOU STUPID HYPOCRITES, IF YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON IS LIKE YOU’RE MASTURBATING WITH A DOLL YA KNOW.

But that’s not the end of my relationships’story: ever since I lost virginity I only ended up with guys who wanted to have sex without using fucking condoms. That’s thei point of view: OK YOU KNOW GIRL YOU’RE AMAZING BUT I CANT TAKE ON COMMITMENT CAUSE I’VE LOVED TOO MUCH IN MY LIFE SO JUST LET’S HAVING SEX! AH BUT SWEETIE I DONT USE CONDOMS: I CANT FEEL YOUR VAGINA, YA KNOW. BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT: I CAN CONTROL MYSELF!

YOU KNOW WHAT? NO YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF! NOBODY CAN! Your fucking penis produces seminal stuff even BEFORE and DURING sex!

What about getting sick??????????? Syphilides? HIV??? FUCK YOU ALL!

This year I had to take 3 (THREE) day-after-pills... Which is like killing your uterus.... I was stupid but what else could I do? Ya... maybe being more conscious and force them to use condoms... But you know, when you fucking hate yourself you don’t care much about future and consequences... You’re just not able to think critically. You do the bad things, you choose bad. 

All I thought about ever since a while was being high...

So now we get to another big point of this overwhelming situation: PARENTS... Ya it seems like I got the perfect family: mum’s lawyer, dad’s a doctor... What could be wrong with ita? Just another bored girl complaining about not getting enough attention. NO

I mean, I’m aware of the fact that my life is not SERIOUSLY bad, but anyways: my parents are divorced, my dad is still a fuckboy. He got used to living alone so he does whatever he wanna do, he goes wherever and whenever, without caring about two daughters’ real problems. What if my mum wants to leave for a weekend and leave my little sister with him? She couldnt because “HE’S GOT PROGRAMS”. FUCK I GOT A PROGRAM TOO: I WANNA GETAWAY FROM HERE RIGHT NOW!

Anyway there we get to the other big problem: MY MUM... She’s been developping anorexia’s mentality since a couple ago, she doesn’t eat (like 1 coffee and half of a zucchini during all day, when she gets really depressed)... Oh, depression... Ya, a single mum with two problematic daughters, a private career (which is falling into pieces) and other shitty problems CAN GET DEPRESSION. It’s easy, though... But the bigger matter is that she denies it and she gets worse everyday ‘cause her situation gets worse (my grandma is sick, one of my mum’s best friends got cancer and she cant sleep because of worrying too much)... And when I told my father, he said I was wrong after she immediately denied.

Ah, my little sister gets mad with me when I tell my mother to eat. She’s like: “stop telling her what to do she’s an adult, she can take care of herself”

FUCK NO SHE CANT STOP SAYING THAT! SHE’D DIE IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS! SHE SUFFERS OF HEART RATING PROBLEMS! IF SHE DOESNT EAT AND KEEP GOING THIS HARD ON THINGS SHE WILL DIE! FUCK YOU STUPID TEENAGE GIRL

So I’m under pressure. I’M UNDER PRESSURE OK! MY MOM IS NOT ABLE TO GROW MY SISTER UP LIKE SHE DID WITH ME! SHE DOESN’T GET ANY RULE! I DON’T GET ANY RULE! Ok I’m 18 so I can understand when it’s time to stop a little back but SHE CAN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHEN IT’S TIME TO TIDY UP HER BEDROOM! She never does it cause nobody tells her! Nobody ever told her! And that’s a stupid example.

Ok, so I’m 18 right? And I got no rules ok? Yeah... cool... I can avoid sleeping, eating and going back home and living properly... I got sick for a week this summer and had to stop smoking.. But then I got better and kept smoking and drinking. Yeah maybe it’s not because I got no rules but because I like it and because it’s the only way to have fun and enjoy your time out in this fucking deserted city full of fucking bastards.

Maybe smoking and drinking arent an issue apparently. But what about taking care? That’s the issue. Here nobody teaches you how to take care of yourself.

So I feel like falling down... And it’s a fucking fast fall. And I get fucking blamed for this.

“You don’t help enough. You’re never happy. Everything someone does for you is shit. You always blame others for your faults. Don’t you think that maybe I’m so tired and depressed because of you, do you? You make me worry so much.”

That’s what my mom keeps repeating. And I keep feeling terribly guilty. For what? For being an adolescent and for having my mother tired to death... I’ve always paid attention to other’s feelings and conditions... I can’t help with this.

I CAN’T HELP WITH THIS OK. STOP. SAYING. THAT I AM. A. FUCKING. MESS. ! Cause you know what, mother? I’M NOT! I’M SUPER COOL AND I NEVER DISAPPOINTED YOU! I WAS PERFECT AT SCHOOL, I GOT THE BEST GRADES IN MY CLASS AND EVERY FUCKING TEACHER COMPLIMENTED! WHAT DO YOU WANT? I’M ONLY 18 AND I’VE ALREADY WRITTEN A COUPLE OF BOOKS! I GOT PLANS FOR MY FUTURE!

SO WHAT? I’M DEPRESSED? I SMOKE? I DRINK? I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY BALANCED? I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT. NEVER.

IT’S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! I DIDN’T CHOOSE TO BE CONSTANTLY SAD AND TIRED! ! IT’S NOT MY FAULT.... 

(My mother doesn’t eat at all when I don’t want to eat... I can’t help with this... Sometimes I just cant think about eating...)

AND FUCK YOU NEVER APPRECIATE MY GOOD MOMENTS AND PERIODS! Like when I’m on top, when I feel like I can do everything.... You never get that.... FUCK YOU!

So being in this fragile situation gives me a lot of stress and anxiety... Luckily I finished school so now I can focus on things I like (and even there, when I wanna do things that I like, there are always problems)..

FUCK THIS CITY FUCK PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE FUCK MONEY PROBLEMS FUCK FAMILY FUCK MUM FUCK EVERYBODY I WANNA SET YOU ALL AND MY FUCKING LIFE ON FIRE 

So you’re reading a lot of anger in my words.. Your’re right, but anger is the only true feeling for me... Sometime I imagine really bad things (like tonight I started thinking about me being raped by my ex’s friends... with my ex being there knowing everything) just to check whether I’m still able to feel sorrow or not.

I often imagined my parents dying... Just for curiosity.. So I think about my feelings: how would I feel? How much would I cry? Would I cry??? What about my sister??

And sometimes I can’t answer, like if there was absolutely nothing in my soul...Just darkness and perdition.

I know it sounds so stupid and pathetic but that’s how I currently truly feel.

Lost.

I used to be really sensitive and cry for everything but then I stopped. Now I am just disgusted. DISGUSTED.. By humanity, first of all.

Lost and disgusted: is there any remedy? 

Maybe being high and drunk all tha way. 

I fucking hate this place and wanna go away.. Still have to wait for october for university... but actually I just wanna getaway.

The most important thing for me is living a pleasant life and never regret anything.... This city and this situation and the people surrounding me are making me regret a lot. They are making me live with anxiety etc..

SPLEEN. ok? Maybe spleen is my problem.... That’s all.

Fuck. Thank you guys for reading 

I just want to let you know that if you read all this you’re my super-heroes. 

Thanks, seriously

xx

theechoofadistanttide

Ross lynch imagine

You woke up at roughly 10:00 AM on a saturday morning. you were hoping that you could hang out with your totally awesome best friend Ross today but the last time the two of you had spoken neither of you had suggested any ideas for when to hang out next or what to do once that time would come. The reason you were so anxious to hang out with Ross is because you have had a thing for him since the moment you first laid eyes on him. Lucky for you he is currently single so you dont have to worry about seeing him with some girl that you would dispise only because she was with him. all of a sudden you once again zoned out due to the fact that you constantly imagine what it would be like to be Ross' girlfriend. You were soon pulled from your thoughts by your cell phone ringing in your hand. You read the caller ID and it was Ross. You answered and before you even got the chance to say anything Ross spoke. "Hey y/n!" He said excitedly. "Hey Ross" you replied trying to avoid seeming like you were off in dreamland which was quite difficult due to the fact that you were in fact in dreamland. Unlucky for you he caught on and now you have to think of something convincing. "Wait wait wait! I know that voice from anywhere! Who's the lucky guy?" He asked. CRAP HES ONTO ME! you thought. "Don't take it personal or anything but I don't know if I'm ready to tell you yet." You finally replied. "Oh okay" he replied sounding kind of sad. "Well anyways, the reason I called was because my mom had asked me if I wanted to join them on wherever they are going and whatever they are doing but I asked if I could stay home and now I'm bored so I was wondering if you wanted to come over and spend the rest of the day with me" he said avoiding any further questions in regards to your previous topic of conversation. "Okay! That sounds fun!" You say as you get butterflies in your stomach. "So when can you get here?" He asked. "I can leave right now! And should I bring my bathing suit?" I asked. "Yeah that's a great idea, see you soon y/n" with that you both hung up and you grabbed your things and headed on your way.

*at Ross' house*

"Hey y/n!" He said while wrapping you in a hug. "Hey Ross!" You replied while blushing. "Do you want to go swimming?" He asked. "Yeah!" You replied excitedly. With that you both went into the house so the two of you could get into your swim suits. Once you had your swimsuit on you decided to go outside to the pool. You were just barely out the door when you felt someone, obviously ross running past you clearly trying to beat you to the pool. All of a sudden you heard a huge splash and then you saw Ross' head co out from under the water. "You gonna join me or what?" He asked laughing slightly as he spoke. "Yeah yeah just give me a sec" you replied laughing along with him. All of a sudden you noticed that his eyes were trailing off a little bit. You kind of thought for a second that he was checking you out but instead of dwelling on the thought you just brushed it off. as the day progressed you noticed that he had been acting strange all day so you decided to ask him about it. "Ross?" you said nervously. "yeah y/n?" he replied sounding concerned. "i dont know if you have noticed at all but i noiced that you have been acting strange all day, what's that all about?" after you said that, he froze. "uh well..." he began. "i kinda sorta really like you" he said. this set you completely in shock "i dont know what to say" you said while still in shock. "then dont say anything" he whispered while leaning in. to you none of this felt real, like it was just the most amazing dream ever. you couldnt believe what was happening but you leaned in anyways obviously. all of a sudden your lips were on his and it felt absolutely amazing as if fireworks were going off or something. it just felt completely magical. the two of you pulled away and Ross spoke "i guess that leaves one question" he said "and what would that be?" you replied with curiosity in your voice. "will you be my girlfriend?" he asked. "yes!!!!!!!!" you replied excitedly followed by the two of you kissing again.

*later on in the day*

after Ross' family came back from their day out you all went into the house. onc you guys were all settled and had been talking for a while you cut into the conversation "eveyone! y/n and i have something to announce. after that everyone was paying really good attention in the kind of way as if they knew what was going on between us even before we did which honestly wouldnt surprise me. "y/n and i are together!" he said followed by you kissing his cheek as  chorus of awe's filled the room. "why dont you tell your family to come over for dinner tonight so that way you can tell them as well as celebrating the two of you becoming an adorable couple?" stormie asked. both you and Ross seemed to like the idea so you called your mom and told her not to prepare anything for dinner and to just come over for dinner. once your family showed up you all got settled in the living room. "whats the special occasion?" your mother asked "we were going to wait until dinner to announce this but Ross and i are together" you told your parents. after that your parents congradulated the two of you for that.

Youtube Fights and Sleepless Nights - Dan Howell Imagine Part 2

Part 1

Making your way down the moonlight streets you pull your hood tighter over your head trying to protect yourself from the rain, reaching into your coat pocket and grab your phone looking for your best friends number. Once you find it you hit dial and press the phone tightly to your ear, hugging your coat tighter to your body. “Hey (Y/N)! How you doing?” “Ummmmm.” You feel your voice cracking a little as you speak “can I…. can I crash at yours tonight?” “Of course you can. Look I’ll put the kettle on you better explain what’s going on when you get in. Alright?” You nod before realising she can’t see you. “Thank you.” You hang up, shoving your phone back in your pocket, you let out a shaky breath seeing it appear in a cold mist in front of you. It only took around 5 minutes for you to reach Carrie’s place, walking in knowing she would have left the door open for you. Hanging up your coat and slipping your shoes off you make your way to the living room seeing your best friend sat with 2 cups of tea on the coffee table and a book in front of her face. Hearing you enter she looked up noticing your slightly dishevelled appearance. Placing her book on the table in front of her she picks up your cup and offers it to you with a sympathetic smile. “Come and tell mamma Carrie all about it.” You smile at her comment, accepting the drink and sitting on the couch next to her you begin to tell her what had happened.

2 mugs of tea and about 4 tissues later Carrie knew all about the fight you had with Dan and what you were feeling. “…I mean it’s not like this our first argument or anything but to accuse me of cheating?! With Mark, who did I mention has a girlfriend also?! I just…….I just don’t know. ” Sighing you relax back into her couch looking up at her ceiling as if it magically would spell out the answers. “I think tonight things got a little heated and you should definitely crash here to let things settle. Plus if Pete knew I let you go home at this time of night on your own I think he’d kill me. I’m sorry all I can offer is the couch but it’s pretty comfy.” Smiling back at Carrie you thank her for the offer. She was right things were pretty heated and you both needed to cool off before taking the next step. “I’m sorry to just bombard you with all of this, especially at this time of night.” “Look (Y/N). You’re like a sister to me so didn’t apologies. I know if I were in this situation you’d do the same for me.” She was right you two were like sisters and told each other everything, so suddenly showing up at the others house wasn’t a rare occurrence.“I’ll go get you some pillows and a blanket so you can try and sleep.” “Thank you Carrie. I really do appreciate it.” She smiled leaving the room coming back a few minutes later with 2 pillows under 1 arm and a roll of blankets under the other.

That night you had hardly slept, it wasnt that the couch was uncomfy, because it was hella comfy but without Dan next to you it was hard to sleep. Tossing and turning you kept checking your phone to see if Dan had messaged or called. He hadn’t. You sighed putting your phone back on the coffee table and turned to face the back of the couch tears starting to fill up your eyes, maybe this is what he wanted, maybe he wanted to end things between you two and this was his way of showing it. Your thoughts were disrupted by Carrie walking into the front room with a drink for you. “Hey, how you feeling?” she smiled sympathetically at you putting your cup on the table next to your phone. Sitting up you grab the pipping hot cup of tea, gently blowing on it before answering her question. “Okay I guess, kinda still thinking it through. Is it really morning already?” “It sure is.” Carrie chirped. You couldnt believe youd been tossing and turning the whole night. Stairing into your cup you take a sigh before carrying on. “Was I really that bad? For Dan to think that I’d cheat it must have been pretty bad.” you never took your eyes off the cup, feeling tears beginning to form. “Honey no.” Carrie moved closer to you, placing her hand comfortingly on your back “Dan is so in love with you. Literally if he’s not with you or talking about you, he’s more than likely thinking about you. I’ve never seen him this crazy about some one in all the time I’ve known him. He just thinks he’s not good enough for you and is worried about loosing you.” Placing your untouched drink down you turn to look at Carrie. “I knew he was insecure like that, always making passing comments about not being good enough fo me, but every time I’d disagree and reasure him. I didn’t think it played on his mind that much.” sighing you rub your hands over your face. “I think you should drink your tea and go and talk to him.” Carrie smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back. “You’re right and I know it’s what I’ve got to do but it just seems hard okay?” Picking up your cup you finally take a sip, relishing in its warmth. “I know it’s hard but I also know you two were made for each other.” She was right. No one made you feel as happy and complete as Dan did. He was everything you could have asked for in a guy. “I’m really sorry (Y/N) I have a video to shoot so unfortunately I have to love and leave you but please stay as long as need.” You smile at her and nod knowing you could literally stay for months and she wouldn’t mind but you knew Carrie was right and that hole you felt in your heart wasn’t going to fix it’s self.

Putting your key into the front door you take a deep breath. Everything was going to be fine. You and Dan both had time to clear your heads and everything was fine. Then why did you feel so damn nervous? Surely nothing drastic would have happened over night. What if Dan had taken you leaving as you breaking up with him and wanted nothing to do with you? Shaking your head lightly to rid the thoughts you turn the key and open the flat door, things were eerily quiet, no TV, no music. Just silence. “Hello? Anyone home?” Stepping into the apartment you shut the door behind you listening for a response, the sound of shuffling in the kitchen catches your attention, making your way towards the sound you jump a little when Phil sticks his head around the corner. “(Y/N)! You’re back, thank God. ” “Jesus Phil you scared the life out of me. I thought we had a burglar or something.” He chuckled and stepped out the kitchen to bring you into a hug. “1. I am clearly not a burglar, we both know how clumsy I am. And 2. I am so glad you’re back.” Pulling away from the hug you give Phil a questioning look. “Dan hasn’t left your guys room since you left yesterday. Not eat, he bearly drank anything, he pretty much only left to go to the bathroom and that’s it.” You felt a twinge of guilt, maybe if you hadn’t have left he wouldn’t be like that. Then again if you had have stayed would the two of you have continued arguing? “I take it he’s in there now?” You motion towards Dan’s room, not really waiting for Phil’s reply and head towards the door. Softly knocking on the door you push it open. “Dan?” It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust because the room is in darkness, looking towards the bed you see his figure lay there with the duvet pulled up around him. You can’t quite see which way he’s facing but step into the room, and push the door shut getting rid of the only light that had crept into the room. “Can we talk?” You speak softly not moving from your spot, not wanting to seem confrontational. The bed sheets move as Dan turns to face you and you take that as a sign to come closer and sit on the bed. “Dan? Are…..are you alright?” He sniffles and sits up slightly. “Can I turn a light on please?” In the darkness you see him nod his head so you reach over and flick on your bed side lamp, looking at Dan you take a second to take in his appearance. His brown hair curly and disheveled, his once bright eyes looked tired, red and puffy and you couldnt help but notice he looked a little paler than usual. “Oh Dan.” Gasping in shock you can feel your heart break at the sight of him, tears brimming in both yours and his eyes. “I’m so sorry.” Reaching across the bed you pull him into a hug, both your bodies shaking from the onslaught of tears that followed. “I thought you weren’t coming back, that I’d Fucked everything up.” Dan mumbles into your shoulder, pulling back you rub the pads of your thumbs under his eyes wiping his tears away. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily mister.” Lightly chuckling you wipe your own tears before moving your hand down to lace your fingers with Dan’s. “I would never. EVER. Cheat on you okay? Or anyone for that matter. I’m sorry that my friendship made you feel insecure and question us. That is the last thing I wanted to happen.” Looking down at your hands you notice Dan had started to subcontiously rub small circles over your thumb with his making you more relaxed. “It’s not your fault.” His voice came out a little scratchy and dry. “ I shouldn’t have let my insecurities get the better of me. I just….. there a so many guys out there who are better looking than me and seem a better match for you than I am. I’ve met some of your male fans so I know its true you could have your pick of the best and I just…….I don’t know, Mark is so much better looking than I am, he’s more into video games, likes more of the same music and food you like than I do, has more subscribers……” “Dan please.” You look up at him to see more tears in his eyes. “Say I did want all that. Don’t you think I’d be dating him and not you?” Dan nodded his head, biting your lip nervously you hoped all of this was coming out how you wanted it to. “But I’m not. I’m dating you because I feel like you complete me. In my eyes you are more handsome than Mark could ever hope to be, you are just as into video games as I am and yes you don’t like all the same foods and music I do but good. Imagine how boring our conversations would be if we did like all of the same stuff. As for the subscriber thing I would care if you didn’t do youtube and no one knew who you were because you would still be the Dan I fell in love with. So please stop comparing yourself to others because you’re not gonna be like them, and I’m God damn happy about that because then you wouldn’t be you and I would most definitely be very upset by that.” By now Dan had a goofy grin on his face and you let out a small breath of relief that you managed to get your words out right. “I am sorry if you felt like we were flirting or whatever but you know I’m just a friendly person, like the first time I meet people I hug them. It’s just who I am. So in future if you feel that way or I act over the boundaries or whatever please come and talk to me about it first so we can avoid this happening again?” “Of course love but……” “No buts. It’s not your fault.” You both giggled, the feeling in the room lighter than before. Both of you now smiling you leaned in to meet Dan in soft passionate kiss. “God I missed you, I didn’t get a minutes sleep last night.” He mumbled against your lips. Placing a couple of quick pecks to his lips, causing him to giggle, you pull back as he gently brushes some hair out of your eyes. “Me either. Carries couch is comfy as heck but nothing beats cuddling into you at night.” You smiled at the bright red blush that spread across Dan’s cheeks. “Come on let’s go get some food. And show Phil that you’re actually still alive.” Dan got up out of bed laughing at your comment. “If it wasn’t for him I might be. He was literally knocking every 5 minutes with something new. He’s worse than you are when I’m sick!” Gasping you playfully slap his chest. “Hey im not that bad. Besides yo have to admit you get like that when im sick to!” “Sure honey. If you say so.” Now stood in front of you Dan wraps his arms around your waist while yours slip round his neck. Resting his forehead on yours you both close your eyes, swaying slightly, enjoying being in each others arms again. “I love you.” Dan mumbled not wanting to break the comfortable silence. “I love you too.” You smiled as you felt the familiar feeling of Dan’s lips on yours.

tagged: @pocketcow

Hiii! I’m new and shy and very excited about this, and also don’t know how to interact like a normal human, so excuse my lack of social tact 🥺 Would you be interested in writing something where Bakugou trains so much that he stops spending time with s/o (and maybe Todoroki and Izuku accidentally keep blowing them off for Momo and Uraraka?) but like she’s really insecure and starts thinking she isn’t good enough? (Happy ending tho...) Only if you want to! From someone who loves your writing 💜

A/n: This ask made my entire day so thank you for this! 🥰🥰Also I felt you on the part where you mentioned you don’t know how to interact like a normal human!✨✨ I’m so glad you love my writing and if you ever need anything don’t be scared to send an ask or message me!! I'm sorry I finished this at like 2 am. I'm sorry if I strayed too far from what you wanted. It does have a happy ending!

I’m Not Going Anywhere

3 days.

rishima. He has been ignoring all of your texts and just leaving you on read. You were starting to feel like he didnt care about you anymore. The same thing was happening with your best friends Todoroki and Midoriya.Every chance they had they would go of to spend time with Momo and Ochako. Honestly you were both jealous of how Momo and Chako were getting to spend time with their lovers while Katsu was ignoring you, and angry that basically everyone you like has been ditching you to do other fun things while your left to sit alone in your room in the dark. This was making you feel like no one liked you anymore and that you were boring. You felt like all of your friends had found people better than you. You decided to try and text your boyfriend again.

You: Hey Bakugo. What are you doing right now.

Bakubae: Im training with Kiri still.

You: I miss you.

*Read*

Once again your lover left you on read. You were wondering if he was telling the truth about training with Kiri. Maybe he was actually cheating on you and just using Kirishima as an excuse. You got up and went to Kirishima's room to see if you were right or if you were just worrying as usual. You knocked on his door, no answer. You knock again and hear him yell from inside “coming!” when he opens the door and sees your sad face he gets worried. “Y/n-Chan what's wrong!” he says and it makes you finally feel like someone cares about you but at the same time it fills you with despair knowing Katsuki just lied to you.

 How long had he been doing this. What was he doing? Why would he lie to you? “So Katsu isn’t training with you.” you muttered as tears came to your eyes.

 “No i havent trained with him since last friday.” He said obviously realizing there was something wrong.

 “Do you have any idea of where he might be? He told me he was training with you.” You whisper trying not to ugly cry all over Kirishima.

  “I’m sorry I dont know but let me call him for you.” he whispers now too as he invites you into his room to wait.

He grabs his phone and calls Kastsuki. bakugo answers as soon as it rings. “Hey bro whats up?”

 you cant hear what he says but fromm the look on Kiris face its not very good. then in the middle of Katsu’s scentence Kirishima hangs up and slowly sets his phone back on his night stand. “Come on we have to go get him from 1B’s dorms.”

You swear you can hear your heart stop beating for a minute. Then you can't stop the tears from falling, Kirishima hugs you and tells you everything is going to be ok. This should be him. This should be your boyfriend. This should be Katsuki. But the cold hard truth is that its not. Its his best friend who's been there for you twice as many times as he ever has. and now you find out he was at the 1B dorms this whole time while he lied to you. You start thinking about all the girls in 1B who are prettier than you like Setsuna and Pony.You finally realize you never stood a chance against such attractive women. You were too kind for Katsukis angry personality, he wanted someone with more fire than he had. You were too innocent for his tastes. When you were walking kirishima held your hand trying his best to convince you it wasn't as bad as you were making it but you weren't actually listening. When you got there Bakugo was waiting on the porch. He didn't expect Kiri to bring you along with him. He clearly just saw you holding hands with his best friend. The second you realized you were holding his hand you quickly pulled your hand off of his. Right as you were about to say something to Bakugo he starts speaking,” Since you too seem to be all lovey dovey tonight I'll walk myself back.” You swear you feel your heart shatter in your chest right there.

“Its not what you think bro she was just worried about you! You havent talked to her in 3 days!” Kirishima yells back at him. You just stand there silently as tears fall. you feel so tired like if you cry anymore youd go blind.

“ “Just worried” my ass you two were holding hands! Bet you proabbly had your hands all over her before you came here.” He said angrily. Was... Was he drunk? You sat down on the cold hard cement as Kirishima ran to catch up with bakugo, and hopefully to talk some sense into him. Kirishima noticed as soon as he got close to bakugo. Yes, He was indeed drunk.

“Bro come on your just drunk do you really think that she would cheat on you with me? come on dude can’t you tell shes been crying! This is so unmanly of you to ignore her then accuse her of cheating on you! What were you doing here anyways and where did you get that alcohol? If anyone has a right to think your cheating it would her!” Kirishima was at his last straw with bakugo. He was ready to just pick you up and carry you back to the doorm and to keep you away from his drunk, dumbass friend.

“I dont even remember how i ended up there. All i remember is Monoma talking shit about our class again then its all just kind of blurry.” As he finished his phone went off Kirishima snatched it and ran. He looked at the notification. It was from Kendo. it said “Hope you had fun cutie cant wait to see you tomorrow (kissy face heart eyes emoji)” His heart hurt for you as he ran to show you.You saw right before Bakugo took it away.

“whats that about?” you manage to rasp out. your still crying the tears never really stopped.

“I dont know everything that happened is just blurry to me.”He says feeling a little guilty for  accusing you of cheating after he himself had done it too.

“Do you... Do you love her?” you ask with your voice now a little louder than a whisper.

“No.” Kirishima just falls to the ground and hugs you hoping to comfort you some, but that just pisses bakugo off. 

“Nothing happened.” you state as bakugo looks at you confused.

“ What do you mean?” he says rudely.

“Between Kirishima and I. Nothing Happened other than hugging and hand holding. He was just trying to comfort me when you couldnt be there for me. Just like right now. He's the one hugging me but it should be you. Hes the one rubbing my back and telling me everything is going to be ok. Hes the one doing everything you arent. Even though your standing right there watching me cry your doing nothing. Kirishima is making me feel like I mean something. You, you just make me feel like I’m nothing but a toy. Like you only like me because I have a pretty face. Let me tell you something Katsuki. Just because Ihave a pretty face doesn't give you the right to treat me like I'm useless... like I do nothing for you except look pretty... like I can't cry because that would be too embarrassing for you. Kirishima is being everything you arent right now. He is being a man. You,all your being is a fucking coward katsuki. You cant even come out and say it to my face that you cheated. The text she sent is soilid evidence. You havent even appologised. You dont think you did it just because you dont remember but you did. annd this is the mess you got yourself into.” Katsuki was in full on tears now crying on his knees in front of you because he knows everything your saying is true and that right now his best friend was being the boyfriend he could never be. he could never drop his huge ego and all of his pride for even a second to see if you were happy or if youneeded anything. deep down in his heart he knew that Kirishima was better fit to be your boyfriend than he ever was.

Katsuki.

There you go again saying his name except this time it hurts.

Katsuki! 

Why did you sound so close yet so far away?

Katsuki! Katsuki!

What was going on? Was he dying?

“KATSUKI FOR FUCKS SAKE WAKE UP!”

Katsuki shot up in bed and started crying. You just hugged him as tight as you could and let him cry onto your shoulder. When he finally calmed down you spoke up.”Baby whats wrong? Did you have a nightmare? I woke you up because you kept screaming my name.”

“Yeah. I had a nightmare about loosing you. except everything was my fault. I got super drunk and cheated on you with Kendo. I kept ignoring you and Kirishima was there for you. and I think you ended up leaving me for him.” He said while hugging you as tight as he could just to make sure this was real.

“Well its ok now babe im here for you and im not going anywhere ever again Katsuki.”

A/n: hope you liked it. I’m sorry if it’s not really what you wanted I kinda just started writing and whatever happened happened I tried my best sorry if there’s som spelling errors!