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#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word
themthistles · 1 year
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i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine
#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily#idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong#and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone#i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't#people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection#also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels#if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you#i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things#at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word#oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking#and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot#i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough#but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself#identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another#and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me#basically#words are complicated#but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate#it is what it is#so make art#a lot of it#oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you
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hikarry · 4 months
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You know who loves casinos? Crowley. Because he has a lot of luck in the game. Luck of the devil and all that
Every time he is (lowkey) forced to go to America, even if he is just supposed to pop up into Mississippi, he eventually finds his way to Vegas and spends at least a week there. Not only is it an excuse to wear his best clothes and look his best, but hey, Vegas is a pool of sin. Greed. Lust. Envy. Easy ass temptations. It's his element
At some point in time, while in Vegas, he comes across the angel. It was unexpected, surely, but a nice surprise nonetheless. As an angel, Crowley would have thought Aziraphale would stay as far away from places like these as possible not to get tainted by all the sins, and yet, here he is.
"Angel." Crowley approaches him from behind, leaning on the bar next to him.
"Crowley." Aziraphale answers, not looking up from his wine glass.
"Never thought I would find you in the Bellagio. Or Vegas in general, for that matter."
"And why is that?"
"Oh, you know, all the sin. Everywhere you look. Must feel like an itch to your..." He wiggles his fingers. "...angelic senses. Popped around to bless some poor, corrupted soul?"
Aziraphale finally looks up, offering him a smile.
"If you must know, I'm on vacation."
Crowley lifts an eyebrow over his sunglasses.
"Vacation?"
"Indeed." Aziraphale turns around on his seat, so he is not facing the bar anymore, but the populace in general. "Wanted to know what all the fuss about this place was about."
Crowley mimics him, leaning both his elbows on the bar, watching the people around the hotel.
"And? What's the verdict?"
The angel sighs, looking up at him again, as Crowley looks down at him as well.
"I've mostly been watching the live shows, honestly. Some are good, most are mediocre. I've been waiting for the right time to try one of the casinos."
"And what, exactly, is the definition of 'right time'?" Aziraphale opens a slow bastardly smile in his direction, lifting an eyebrow. "Oh." Crowley smiles back, slightly leaning in his direction. "Angel, you been waiting for me. What a gentleman."
Aziraphale chuckles and gets up from his seat, running his hands down his clothes.
"I could feel your presence as soon as I stepped out of the airplane, my dear."
"And what best way to fall into sin than with the devil himself at your side, is it?" Crowley offers him his arm, but Aziraphale bats it away playfully.
"Don't say it like that. I'm merely curious as to why humans seem to enjoy the dangers of gambling so much." He gestures towards the entrance of the casino. "Shall I tempt you into keeping me company?"
The demon snorts, giving the angel a final once over, before offering him a cocky smile and setting his hand on the angel's lower back, guiding him to the casino.
"Aren't you a box full of surprises." He leans closer and whispers on Aziraphale's ear before straightening himself and looking for some avaliable space at a Russian Roulette.
Alas, Crowley is certainly lucky at the game, but so is Aziraphale, even though he wouldn't call it luck. He would say "it's simple strategy, dear boy!"
They play many games through the night, but they spend most of their time at the poker table. Crowley's poker face is good. It comes with the job description. And he's got some extra points because of the sunglasses. But, surprisingly so, so is Aziraphale's. He is so good, in fact, that they stop playing as adversaries and form a team. With 6000 years under their belt of being secretive, they read each other's subtle signs easily and clean the tables like a very efficient money vacuum. They work so good together they fall into suspicious of cheating and, before they are thrown out, they collect the money and leave of their own accord, right in the direction of the bar where they get absolutely plastered.
"Anyway, until when are you staying? If given two more days I'm sure we can clean the whole of Vegas!"
Aziraphale snorts into his whiskey.
"I don't know, my dear. I think I've had excitement enough for the next year."
"Aww no!" Crowley fully tuns towards Aziraphale, laying his hand on his shoulder. "Cmon, we killed it! We could leave this place multimillionaires!"
"You know we, technically, already are, dear boy. We can literally make money out of the aether."
Crowley rolls his eyes, giving Aziraphale's shoulder a little push.
"It's the principle of the thing. Money won, not made. It has a whole other thrill."
"Mmh." The angel stays in silence for a couple of moments, looking at his glass, until he looks up at the demon. "Where are you staying?"
"Here. You?"
"Four Seasons. Do you want to have breakfast with me tomorrow?"
"At the Four Seasons?" Aziraphale nods while Crowley takes a sip of his glass. "Meet you at 9?"
"At 9."
They did meet, indeed. And had breakfast together. And lunch. And dinner. And when Aziraphale was supposed to stay for only 2 more days, he expanded his stay to 4 more days to leave on the same day as Crowley.
I don't need to say they spent the rest of the days glued to each other. Crowley even changed his stay from the Bellagio to the Four Seasons to be more "efficient", or so he says.
They explored the whole Strip and cleaned every casino they set foot in. Aziraphale made a schedule with all the live shows he wanted to watch and he dragged Crowley up and down the Strip to watch all of them and then give a very detailed review to a very drunk Crowley in his hotel room at the end of the day (aka never before 6am).
After the Second Coming, already living together in the cottage, Crowley will randomly remember that week and ask Aziraphale if he wants to go on a quick vacation and give Vegas a second spin. Aziraphale packs his bags in 35 minutes.
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egophiliac · 7 months
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I was wanting to try doing an art piece in the style of the signature spell poster art pieces you create. But I’m not really the best at coming up with a composition for such a thing.
Do you have a process for how you come up with the compositions for them?
oh, awesome! it is an INCREDIBLY enjoyable style to work in; I hope you have fun with it! :D
I'm not great at putting my thought/art process into words, so my apologies if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'll try! my first step is always to do a LOT of thumbnails to figure out both the idea and how I want to show it; not trying to do a real sketch or anything, just little doodles to figure out what exactly I'm trying to portray. (I also call these "garbage passes" because they're not meant to be any good, they're just there to throw things out. aha. ha. ...anyway.) I think it's important during that first stage to really focus on the idea and the layout and not to get too bogged down in the actual drawing yet!
I tend to save my final thumbnails, so I'll use 'em as examples (I posted the ones up through episode 5 here if you're interested!) (and, uhhh, spoilers through episode 5 also in this post, hopefully that won't be an issue!)
the main thing I try to think about in composition is balance -- not necessarily in terms of symmetry, but in where each element is placed and how much space it's taking up. remember, empty space is still space! it's also really important to think about the parts that don't have anything in them, as much as the parts that do!
personally, I like to divide things up roughly by both halves and by thirds -- there's a lot more in-depth info out there on why the "rule of thirds" in particular works well visually, but in short, our brains tend to focus on things that are placed closer to imaginary division lines, instead of in the exact center of an image. so even when I'm doing something that is very centered and symmetrical, I try to keep that in mind and generally aim around those for landmarks like faces/eyes (or...where they would be, anyway) and other focal points.
it's not a formula of "the character's face should be in this division of this grid" or anything, more like "our minds like to focus on these areas, let's think about how to use that", if that makes sense! and of course rules are made to be broken, art is lawless anarchy, and so on. but it can be a good starting place for deciding where you want to put things!
(blue - thirds, red - half)
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and against the finished versions, because they do usually end up changing a lot (including the empty space of the border):
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(...these actually lined up a lot better than I thought they would. :') it makes me look like I do things way more intentionally than I do.)
other stuff I just try to keep in mind is that our eyes like following arcs and paths, which can be a good way to guide the eye:
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and frame and control the focus:
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honestly, composition is one of those things I feel like I struggle with a lot, so I'm not sure how much of this is helpful or actually makes sense outside of my head. but hopefully it helps a little! it's all just stuff to think about while drawing and not anything hard-and-fast, so don't, like, stress out about making sure things are lining up exactly on the thirds or anything. again, it's more "our brains think these are the dopest parts of the rectangle" than anything else! take advantage of the cool parts of the rectangle!
NOW GO HAVE FUN DRAWING seriously though, it is always super cool that other people like this idea and style enough to want to do it themselves and for other/their own characters! thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
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Your resident Crawling Chaos, back with more OPLA headcanons.
Another huge thanks to everyone who's been sharing and liking and following. You're all just amazing. I'm working on getting through these headcanons alongside an ask request, that latter of which I'm almost finished with and may be up tonight.
Without further ado, it's headcanons with everyone's favorite green-haired swordsman, Zoro!
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Whoops, wrong gif.
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I'm SORRY I COULDN'T RESIST.
I mean it's totally normal to pick at the people you love.
So, headcanons. Like Mihawk and Shanks, ranging from total fluff to spicy, and very much NSFW.
LA!Zoro X Fem!Reader
A— Through —Z(oro)
A — Afterglow (How are they have sex?)
Considering how much effort he exerts training on a daily basis, he's going to fall asleep pretty quickly.
But you're not going anywhere.
Not with his arms curled around you, holding you against his chest.
Even if he's already asleep, his grip is going to tighten around your waist, keeping you close.
He hasn't been close to many people in his life, and he's pretty starved for physical affection, so your warmth is positively addictive to him.
B — Backrubs? (Do they like them? Like giving them?)
Looks at you like you're speaking another language if you offer him one.
"Wha...why?"
But he's not going to turn it down.
And he's never going to turn it down again after the first time.
"O...oh. Oh—that feels—oh shit yeah..."
He thought that "sore" was just the default state of anyone who spent the vast majority of their time physically active.
He'll try to return the favor if you want one. He's a little clumsy about it since it's not exactly something he's used to doing, but his hands always feel nice and he takes instruction well enough.
It's not long before his hands are wandering, though.
Not that you're complaining.
C — Cuddling (Do they enjoy cuddling a lot or only at certain moments?)
Zoro likes having you close, but mostly in private.
He loves to bury his face in the crook of your neck while you comb your fingers through his hair.
Wrap his arm tight around your waist and just breathe you in.
D — Dance (Are they good at it? Do they enjoy it?)
Says he has two left feet, but he's never realy tried.
He'll let you try to teach him, but he's going to complain the whole time.
"Come on, what's the point in this? Can't we just spar instead?"
And probably blush a little about how close you are.
And definitely never admit out loud that he actually enjoys it.
E — Extravagant Gestures (Things they do to make you feel loved)
Zoro is pretty new to this, so you're going to have to bear with him.
He's spent the entirety of his life focused on his career as a swordsman and never taken any time for romance before.
Doesn't really think much about doing anything extravagant.
But he will literally put his life on the life to keep you safe.
Even if he knows you're pretty strong yourself, he goes completely ferral if he sees you've been hurt.
F — Fighting (How do they hand arguments/apologies?)
He has to always get the last word in.
Turns into a bit of an overgrown toddler, honestly. Slamming doors and being in general grumpy about the whole ordeal.
Refusing to talk about the problem for a while, then feeling guilty after the fact.
Approaching you later when no one else is around, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Look, I probably...could have handled that better. Not really used to this, but—y'know. Sorry."
If he sees you've been crying he's instantly gutted.
G — Going Out (What do they do for dates?)
If you have anything specific in mind, you're going to have to do the planning.
It's not that he doesn't enjoy spending time together—he just doesn't really understand what constitutes a "date"
Gets a little awkward about asking.
"Hey, ah—you know, I'll probably get lost if I leave the ship by myself so...wanna go do something?"
H — Heartache (How would they handle it if you broke up with them?)
He's going to do everything in his power to act like he's unaffected.
But everyone notices it.
Snapping and being more short-tempered than usual.
Spending more and more time training and napping.
Deflecting when anyone asks about it.
Unable to get you out of his head and working himself to the point of overexertion just to try to ignore his thoughts.
I — Intimacy (When are they intimate with you? And how often?)
Mostly in private.
Will probably curl his arm around your waist when you stand close.
Straight-up blushes when you kiss him in front of the rest of the crew at first, even on the cheek, but he gets used to it over time and starts returning the gesture.
In private, it's a miracle if he's not holding you.
He absolutely loves it when you lay across his chest with your cheek at his shoulder.
J — Joker (How do they make you laugh)
Not really one for cutting jokes, but his sarcastic one-liners are an art form.
Especially when he gets into an insult-match with Sanji.
Even if you are typically the one who has to break it up before comes to blows.
K — Kissing (How good? How often?)
He honestly loves kissing you, and he's going to take any chance to pull you aside to do so.
He's starved himself of physical affection for the vast majority of his life, so he savors every second of it.
Pulling you against him by your hips and wrapping an arm around your waist.
Or walking you back into the wall and leaning over you with his hand over your head.
Slow, deep kisses when you wake up in his arms are his weakness.
L — Lay down (How do they sleep with you? Are they a cuddler or do they prefer their space?)
He has to have you against him.
Laid across his chest with an arm around your back.
If you wake up before him, you're not going anywhere until he's ready to move.
If you're too busy to nap, he's going to wait until you're not.
Absolutely refuses to lay down without you at any given time.
M — Making babies (Do they want to settle down and have kids?)
Yeah, no.
At least not for a very long time.
His dream of being the world's greatest swordsman takes precedence right now. Having a kid would make that borderline impossible.
N — Nervous? (How confident are they when it comes to romance?)
As confident as Zoro is about everything else, this whole romance thing has him pretty out of his element.
Had a few one night stands and flings during his time pirate hunting, but never anything serious.
He would never admit that he's nervous, but he's more obvious than he thinks.
Trying to act aloof but stumbling over words.
Getting legitimately surprised when you do the simplest little things for him.
O — Oral Fixation (Giving or recieving? And how good are they?)
Your mouth makes him weak.
Shivering when you wrap your hand around his cock and trail your tongue up the length and wrap your lips around the head.
Gripping your hair with both hands, alternating between laying his head back and watching you.
He's pretty sure he'd go crazy if he watched you the entire time, especially with the way you gaze up to meet his eyes.
Holding your head still when it gets too good to hold back and thrusting back to your throat.
"Oh fuck I love it when you gag on it—"
He's definitely returning the favor.
Picking you up and setting you on the nearest surface—a bed, a hammock, a table, anywhere he can tug off your panties and pull your legs over his shoulders.
Slow and sensual, but not teasing—he just loves hearing your little moans and whimpers, feeling your thighs trembling.
Pushing one or two fingers in and out of you so he can feel you tighten up when you come.
P — Pet Peeves (Things they don't like in a partner)
Nagging. You asked him to do something and he's going to do it, don't get pushy about it or it's going to take him even longer.
Lack of communication—he is new to this whole relationship thing, you can't expect him to know everything you want all the time if you don't tell him.
Flirting with Sanji. Just don't. He can and will murder that shitty waiter.
Q — Quiet Time (How much alone time do they need, or do they want to be with you 24/7?)
He's always been a solitary person, and it surprises him juat how much time he wants to spend with you.
Doesn't want you glued to his side or anything, but he'd rather be with you than not be with you.
Especially in a new place. He knows you can handle yourself, but still gets worried something might happen to you and takes it upon himself to act as your personal body guard.
And let's face it, he'd get lost if he went off on his own anyway.
R — Romance (How romantic are they? Do they have to force it or does it come natural?)
For not having much experience, he's honestly incredibly sweet when you're alone together
Playing with your hair.
Foreheads touching just so he can look into your eyes.
Slow, tender kisses and gentle caresses.
"You're way too good for me."
Gets absolutely flustered if anyone walks in, and you giggling about it doesn't help.
S — Spending Money (How much do they like to spend on you?)
To be fair, he doesn't really have much money. None of you do.
But he's pretty insistent on paying for both of you if you go out together, even if that's all he can do right now.
He wants to buy things for you, and if the crew ever strikes it big, he plans on making up for it.
T — Trust (Are they trusting of you? Jealous?)
Zoro has a lot of trust issues in general, but he's pretty trusting of you.
You haven't given him any reason not to trust you.
He still hasn't told you everything about his past, but he's getting around to it.
U — Underwear (What kind do they wear, and what kind do they like on you?)
He's not very particular about his own underwear.
Definitely comfort and maneuverability over looks, but if you have a preference he's fine with it, as long as it's not thongs or something.
Don't even ask, he's not.
But he loves seeing you in a thong. The skimpier the better.
If he can reach under your skirt and feel your bare ass, he's going to be absolutely ferral for you in an instant.
V — Vulnerable (How vulnerable are they with you? Is it easy for them to open up to you?)
He's more vulnerable with you than he is with anyone else.
Still doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve, but he's trying.
Used to handling everything himself so it's a steep learning curve.
Tries to voice things that bother him, even if it comes out a little forced and awkward, but he makes the effort, and you're proud of him for it.
W — Wine and Dine (Do they prefer meals at home or going out with you? Who does more of the cooking?)
A cook Zoro definitely is not.
He'd rather take you out and not have to deal with Sanji, but money is an object.
He loves watching you cook. He might even offer to help, but you probably shouldn't let him.
He could burn a pot of boiling water.
X — X-Rated (How good are they in bed? What do they like?)
Very passionate, and a little playful.
It drives him crazy when you tease him.
Bend over in front of him in a skirt and he's going to be dragging you off somewhere private in seconds.
Pushing you up against a wall and pushing your skirt up your hips.
Kissing you hard enough to bruise and pulling you against him by your ass so you can feel him get hard.
Shivering, kissing and growling against your neck when you rub him through his pants.
"God, you're such a little fucking tease..."
And he absolutely loves it.
Not wasting any time in pulling your shirt and your bra off so he can feel every inch of you.
Teasing your nipples with his thumb while he grips your ass harder to grind against you.
Wrestling out of his shirt when you get on your knees in front of him.
Tangling his hands in his hair and groaning when you wrap your lips around his cock.
Losing control fast and holding your head still to fuck your mouth until you're gagging on him.
Letting you go when you dig your fingers into his hips and pulling you back up by your hair, picking you up by your ass and kissing down the column of his throat while he catches his breath.
Laying you down on the nearest surface and kissing down your body.
Trying to get himself back under control so he doesn't cum within two minutes.
Pulling your skirt down and flinging it away, before giving you a grin and tugging your panties down with his teeth.
Pulling your thighs up over his shoulders and tugging you to him by your hips, immediately pushing two fingers inside you and sucking your clit.
Rolling his tongue in slow, firm circles, keeping his pace steady while you grip at his hair and arch your back and moan.
Giving a little purr/growl when you come, gripping your hips.
Absolutely craving you now, shifting up to lean over you, rubbing your thighs and thrusting into you before your orgasm is even over.
Going hard and heavy right from the first stroke.
Gripping at your thigh and your hair and groaning into your neck while you cling to him.
Reaching between you to rub your clit, bringing you right back to the edge in minutes.
"Come on, baby. Come for me again. Come on my cock."
Watching your eyes roll back and swearing under his breath when he feels your walls tighten around him.
Losing it immediately when you cry out and arch your back under him.
Pulling out and tugging on you by your arm until you lean down and wrap your lips around him again.
Pulling your head forward and groaning, holding you in place by your hair while you suck the cum out of him.
Collapsing into bed with you and pulling you onto his chest, kissing your neck and your forehead, telling you how good you are while you both catch your breath.
Y — Yearning (How long will they pursue the person they're interested in before losing interest?)
Not very long, honestly.
He'll shoot his shot a couple times, but if you're not interested he's not going to press it.
He respects your boundaries completely, and he doesn't abide the whole hard-to-get game.
If you decide you're interested after that, you're going to have to approach him.
Z — Zen (What do they do to wind down and relax? Do they prefer to do it alone or with you?)
As much as he trains, he needs a lot of downtime.
And he definitely wants you there for it.
Holding onto you like you're his teddy bear, having a beer or two with you, nuzzling into your hair.
He never really considered the possibility that he'd be as close to someone as he is to you, and doesn't want to waste any time being away from you.
He's still pretty reclusive, but you're the one exception to that rule.
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tossawary · 2 months
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A quote and thoughts regarding Shen Yuan's opinions on Liu Mingyan and the "sexiness" of the Liu Mingyan versus Sha Hualing setup. He knows what he should be feeling in this situation as a "normal straight guy", but I don't think he's actually feeling it.
"Shen Qingqiu was very fond of this female lead, and it wasn't only because Liu Mingya's beauty points were the highest. It was also because she had great poise. She always understood the big picture and grasped the general situation, and her conduct was fair and honest. Even in Luo Binghe's gigantic harem, a wife with both intelligence and moral character was rare.
There was one more appeal factor. Liu Mingyan was the only female character for whom Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write detailed sex scenes. Many readers had been highly dissatisfied with this arrangement, to the point that they spammed the comments with their ranting, but this had given Liu Mingyan something no other female lead had: an image as clear as ice and pure as jade!
Can't be helped, the unobtainable ones are always the best.
[Sweatdropping shrug kaomoji that I can't type out.]
This was what made the second match worth watching. An evil demoness naturally demanded a righteous saintess as a rival. Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vie with each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next - that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism. He could drunk off the wild, untamed charm of the wicked seductress, and at the same time his heart would ache for the austere taste of the pure saintess who kept pulling him closer only to push him away!
One had to admit, "Great Master" Airplane was genuinely good at nailing what people found satisfying. Shen Qingqiu couldn't help giving Luo Binghe another glance.
Luo Binghe found it very hard to not care about that gaze. Why exactly did Shen Qingqiu keep looking at him? Was it possible that Shizun... really had an interest in him?"
Volume 1, Chapter 2, pages 111-112.
I'm not sure where to start with this! It's a lot! I'll just work backwards: it is very funny to have Shen Qingqiu repeatedly looking towards Luo Binghe, trying to see Binghe's reactions to Sha Hualing and Liu Mingyan, and Binghe's just like, "Shizun is looking at me???" I think "interest" in this case just means interest in Binghe as a disciple with potential, rather than anything else. Binghe is not paying any real attention to Sha Hualing or Liu Mingyan's attractiveness.
Oh! A rare compliment towards "Great Master" Airplane! Shen Yuan, don't strain those rarely used muscles!
I do find it amusing that Shen Yuan refers to Liu Mingyan as "moral" and "righteous" and "pure" here. The vibe I got with Liu Mingyan is that she sided with Luo Binghe to take down her brother's murderer, which I would agree is righteous and abides by a set of morals. But the first few pages of SVSSS inform us that PIDW Luo Binghe viciously destroyed the great cultivation sects, which means that PIDW wife Liu Mingyan either helped or stepped aside when a whole bunch of murder happened.
And the "my favorite wife is the one with no (or limited) sex scenes" is a classic Shen Yuan moment and one of the reasons he reads as being strongly on the asexuality spectrum to me. The way that he talks about heterosexual "male" desire gives me the same vibe. Like he's separated from it. Like he knows this is what he's "supposed" to feel and he just... doesn't... and it's possibly hard for him to recognize what sexual desire feels like (as opposed to, say, general sexual arousal that doesn't necessarily have a target) if he's never actually experienced it himself. He knows what he should be feeling if he was the "every man" reader of PIDW.
Even when he talks about Sha Hualing and Liu Mingyan's appeal, he says "wild, untamed charm" and "pulling him closer only to push him away" as the key components of the fantasy. Like, "being flirted with" and "being fought over and fought for" and "appreciating a distant beauty" are more important than "having sex". "The most appealing thing about Liu Mingyan is that she wouldn't actually go through with trying to have sex with me," says Shen Yuan.
He's like, "Oh, I can recognize that Liu Mingyan and Sha Hualing are physically attractive, that probably means I'm an Ordinary Straight Man." Even though the way that he talked about Liu Qingge's looks in the Ling Xi Caves was... not very heterosexual... and here, he mostly seems excited just to see one of his favorite characters.
Admittedly, Sha Hualing appears 15-16 here and I think Liu Mingyan is around the same age (she doesn't have her spiritual sword yet), so Shen Yuan is probably also not attracted to them just because they're teenagers. (I do not interpret him as sexually or romantically interested in Binghe at all at this point in time.) I headcanon Shen Yuan being 20-ish at this point in time, so he's probably not that much older than SHL or LMY, but they're probably around his younger sister's age (Shen Yuan's younger sister was old enough to be reading non-con, gay, BDSM erotica.) Sha Hualing shows up half-naked and Shen Yuan is just like, "Where are your shoes? Did you walk here like this? Wasn't that painful?"
In my opinion, Shen Yuan seems a little... relieved... to think that no one could be sexually or romantically interested in the scum villain. He does lament that it's hard to get a girlfriend like this, sure. He does think that he's going to die and that he'd eventually lose any woman to Binghe, so there's no point in trying. But he really, really does not try. "Oh, I can't pursue anyone because they'd never be interested in me! How frustrating! ...Anyway! Moving on to enjoy the many other little pleasures of life! Like food and monsters!" I think the closest he comes to flirting with anyone is when speaking to Liu Qingge in the Ling Xi Caves, while Liu Qingge is coughing up blood, and that did not seem intentional.
I think if he had transmigrated into any other character, who wasn't an "unappealing" villain, Shen Yuan still wouldn't pursue women. I think he'd be like, "Well, I want a beautiful woman, because I have standards! But all beautiful women belong to the protagonist, and no one is better than Binghe, there's no way I'd win that competition, so there's no point in trying!" At which point, it's just like, "Shen Yuan, anyone becomes beautiful when you love or like them; I don't think you actually want to fuck women."
I think if Shen Yuan had transmigrated in as Luo Binghe, he still wouldn't try to pursue women. He'd be like, "I'm just raising my standards for the harem! Some of those wives were not very intelligent or in possession of good moral character! Nearly three-digits is disrespectful to the better wives! I'm only interested in especially beautiful and skilled women, like Liu Mingyan, who's perfect! (And also won't try to have sex with me.)"
Like, I am not against a bisexual Shen Yuan. I am willing to be persuaded to go along with many different interpretations! But he does read to me generally as a gay asexual / demisexual who hasn't yet realized that a desire to be fawned over and an ability to recognize beauty is not necessarily the same thing as sexual attraction. (I do think he is attracted to Binghe after Binghe gets back from the Endless Abyss, but his feelings there are tied up in his very real, reasonable fear of murder and mutilation.)
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acourtofwhatthefuck · 3 months
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A Friend In Need’s A Friend Indeed — Azriel x Cassian.
Summary: Azriel’s been mighty stressed recently. Cassian is a good friend with a good suggestion and a good mouth.
Note: I still haven’t had a chance to sort out my tag lists, I’m sorry. This has been sitting in my drafts for ages. Life has been so busy recently 😅
Warnings: Smut, 18+, minors dni. 💕
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It’s clear to Cassian, the second he walks into the room, that the shadowsinger is in a foul mood.
In all honesty, Azriel has been in a foul mood all week.
He’s not very good at striking a work-life balance. Missions and reports and information flood his thoughts and keep him awake at night. They have done every night this week.
So when Cassian slumps down in the armchair opposite his, he eyes his friend and knows — Azriel is not going to be pleasant company tonight.
His brow is deeply furrowed and darkened as he stares down at the papers in his hands. Cassian considers asking him what, exactly, the report pertains to — but he selfishly decides that the information will numb his brain, and he doesn’t think he can bear to hear it right now. Whatever. Az doesn’t even glance up at him.
So Cass pours himself a drink and settles into the chair. And only after the fifth time Azriel sighs — yes, he’s counting — does he ask, “Long day?”
Az simply grunts and turns the page. This is going to be a long night.
"You look like you could use a drink," the Illyrian General pauses. "Or ten."
No reply.
Cass says, "Az."
"What, Cassian?"
"Why don't you put those papers down and have a conversation? Or better yet, let's go to Rita's—"
"I'm busy."
Cassian purses his lips. “The world isn’t going to end if you set your work aside for the night.”
“Your world is going to end if you don’t stop yapping in my ear,” Azriel pauses, scans the paper — and then growls, chucking it onto the coffee table in front of them both. “This is fucking pointless.”
Maybe Cass should ask, he thinks. He studies his friend. “What is it, exactly, that’s had you in such a foul mood all week?”
Azriel’s bleary hazel eyes merely flick up to him; clearly he doesn’t appreciate the observation. Dark smudges sit beneath his eyes. His entire body, shadows and all, is coiled tightly. Tense.
Oh. Oh. A fight, Cassian realises — a fight is what’s going to take the edge off. Goading Az, provoking him…he’s done it more times than he can count in centuries of friendship. Letting him get a few punches in will surely ease the tension. Cass is willing to do that for him.
“You’ve just been a rain cloud of fucking doom all week,” he smirks as the shadowsinger stiffens even more. “Perhaps you need to get laid. Although, no one will surely come near you while you’re walking around with a face like a slapped ass.”
Cassian waits for his retort. For him to surge forward and knock him out of the chair, or for him to demand that they go right up to the training rings at once and speak through their fists, considering Cass clearly has a lot to say.
But Azriel’s jaw ticks, and he merely shoots back, “Suck my dick, Cassian.”
The mischief almost winks out of Cass’s eyes. Almost. It’s not the response he’s expecting.
But he rights himself and sits up, his smirk widening. “Is that what it will take to cheer you up, Az? Getting your cock between my lips? When was the last time someone sucked you dry?”
The irritated twitching of Azriel’s eye tells Cassian that it’s been way, way too long since someone sucked him dry. And that shocks Cass. Az has many lovers dotted about the city — many different people he could lose himself in for a couple of hours. If he’s not even tearing himself away from his stress for some mindless pleasure, it must be bad.
“Cauldron,” Cassian raises an eyebrow. “Maybe I should suck your dick.”
There’s no response. Not even a bark for him to fuck off. Azriel simply shifts in his armchair and clutches a cushion to his lap.
And Cass tracks the movement. He narrows his eyes on that cushion, and it takes him a shamefully delayed moment to realise that it’s been very deliberately placed there. He chokes out a laugh, “Holy shit, are you hard?”
“I wouldn’t be,” Az grits his teeth, “if you’d just shut the fuck up and stop talking about sucking my dick. It’s been a while, okay? I’m wound up.”
“…And is your hand not working, or…”
“It’s not enough. I’ve tried. I can’t…I can’t come.”
Silence settles between them. For once, Cassian isn’t quite sure what to say.
And perhaps Az is expecting him to make a joke, because he shakes his head and quickly stands. Grabs his reports. Makes to book it the fuck out of there.
But Cass says, “Wait.”
“Forget it, Cass—”
“I’m not laughing at you, Az,” he sits up. “You know I’ll always help you in any way that I can.”
Azriel scoffs. “What, like sucking my dick?”
“Why not?”
“Can you be fucking serious for five minutes.”
Cass shrugs, “I’m completely serious.”
Azriel stares back at him, narrowing his eyes. But the usual humour and banter…it’s absent. His face is open, honest.
He’s serious, Az realises. Completely serious.
The shadowsinger raises an eyebrow. “Cass…”
“Are you saying no?”
“…Well, no—”
“So sit down, Az.”
The choice is entirely Azriel’s, and the shadowsinger himself knows that. He can sit down and…and take what Cass is offering…or he can walk out of here and leave that boundary unbreached.
It feels a little surreal as his feet begin moving. Back over to the chair he’d vacated.
He thinks he might be shaking, which is weird, but sex and all that it involves tends to come naturally to Az. But in five centuries, it’s a line that he and Cassian have never crossed. They’ve seen each other naked plenty of times. They’ve fucked other people in the same room. It’s never come to this.
Until now.
Azriel watches as Cassian rises from his chair and stalks over. He can’t believe he’s actually doing this, can’t believe Cassian is actually offering.
But there’s nothing but sheer will in the General’s eyes as he sinks to his knees. Azriel parts his legs for him.
He swallows hard as Cass drags his hands up his legs. And his voice comes out in a rasp as he says, “You don’t have to do this—”
“Az?” Cass cuts him off.
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and enjoy it.”
He can hardly argue with that. And as Cassian unlaces Azriel’s breeches and tugs them apart, the spymaster isn’t sure he’d be able to find the words, anyway.
Cassian’s hand is huge and warm and rough and callused. And as he reaches into Az’s breeches and pulls his hardened cock out, both males let out a little breath.
“Oh, yeah,” Cass eyes the rigid length, the swollen head, leaking with moisture. “You really need this.”
Azriel’s response dies on his tongue at the first stroke. He can only manage a grunt.
“Whatever you need, Az,” Cassian pumps his hand, dipping his head. “Fuck my mouth. I can take it.”
And then, gripping Azriel’s cock in his hand, he drags a broad stroke of his tongue, from the base to the head. Azriel’s hips jerk.
“Shit,” he grits his teeth, eyes intently on Cassian’s tongue.
Cassian smiles and does it again, “Like that?”
“Yeah. Yes. Can you…”
“Put you in my mouth?” as his tongue once again reaches the head, he wraps his mouth around it and hums his approval. He laps at that little pearl of moisture that’s waiting there.
“Fuck, Cass,” Azriel gasps. He relaxes in the seat, fingers sinking into Cassian’s hair.
Cass realises quickly that he enjoys this. He’s had the odd experience with males over the years, but it’s mostly females that take his fancy. But this — feeling Azriel’s cock disappear into his mouth, feeling his thigh flex under his hand, feeling him jerking and writhing on the spot — gods above, he’s so fucking hard right now.
His lips and tongue seem to work in tandem. He drags his mouth over Azriel’s length, licking and sucking as he goes. And then he pulls his lips off him and repeats.
Azriel’s breaths are picking up. This is so much better than his hand. He actually feels like he might come, and not just be beating away at pleasure that never comes to anything. He moans, pulling at the strands of Cassian’s hair. And at the same time, he uses his other hand to push Cass’s head down.
“Gods, Cass, your mouth,” he growls, encouraging the bobbing motion that Cassian’s head falls into. With every push, Cass takes him in deeper, deeper.
And with saliva dripping from his chin, and the head of Az’s dick damn near grazing the back of his throat, a single thought crosses Cassian’s mind: he really likes sucking cock.
“Harder,” Az grunts, not even sure he means to say it. But he just wants…wants Cass to be rough. Wants this to be teetering on the edge of pleasured pain.
But Cass pulls his cock out of his mouth, wrapping his hand around the length. He pumps fast, hard, and then says, “Fuck my mouth, Az.”
The second Cassian’s lips are wrapping around him again, Azriel does exactly that.
He’s lifting his hips and gripping Cassian’s head with both hands, and he thrusts, hard, panting and sweating and swearing. Cassian takes it all like a champ, greedily swallowing every taste of him. His hands grip the back of Azriel’s legs, and he slides his mouth all the way down.
And this time, when the head hits the back of his throat, Azriel stills.
“Fuck!” He shouts, groans, gasps, roars. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
His cock is absolutely exploding. A week’s worth of pent-up frustration shoots from him and spills down Cassian’s throat. Cass swallows. And swallows. And swallows. Every last drop. He moans while doing so.
Az thinks his hips are still rolling long after his release has rocked him. He can’t bring himself to let go of the pleasure, to remove his cock from his friends mouth. It twitches on Cassian’s tongue and dribbles the remnants of his seed with every jerk. Cassian stares up at him with swollen lips and lustful eyes.
And then, after what feels like an eternity, the two males finally part. Both are breathing heavily. Cassian wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
“That was—” Azriel swallows, tucking himself back into his breeches. He doesn’t bother to lace them up. “When did you learn to do that?”
Cassian’s smirk is purely roguish as he pushes to his feet. “I’ve learned a whole lot of things you can’t even begin to imagine,” he rolls his shoulders. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
Az watches him, his eyes falling to that hardened bulge that pushes through Cassian’s own trousers. He clearly enjoyed what just occurred. And that thought alone has Az’s cock twitching to life again.
He leans forward, opening his mouth — to say what, to suggest what, he isn’t sure. But before he can voice his desires, footsteps are approaching.
Both males straighten up as Rhys appears in the doorway, a drink in his hand.
The High Lord sniffs, his brow furrowing. And then he looks between his two friends — Az’s unlaced breeches and heaving chest. Cassian’s swollen lips. He puts two and two together.
“Cauldron fucking boil me,” is all he grouses, and then he’s turning back and leaving the way he came.
Leaving Cassian and Azriel alone once more.
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foone · 4 days
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weird thought: I think if I was a teenager now (or anytime in the last decade or so) I think I would have written (and read!) a lot more fanfic than I did in reality, where I was a teenager in the 90s.
See, I've never been hugely into fanfic. Never had anything against it exactly, but it just wasn't something I was into. But I think that has to do with an interesting combination of how my brain works and what time I was first really getting into being a fan.
I've got a "librarian" brain (I'm literally typing this from within a library, WHERE I WORK). It wants to know things like "what are all the works in this series/by this creator?" and "are they all accessible?" and "what info is available about how it was made?"
I'm the kind of person who will watch a show then go look it up on wikipedia to see how many seasons it has, who made it, if they're still making it, check tvtropes for any more info, etc. Or I hear a song I like by a band I've never heard of, so I go listen to their entire discography while researching them. I just focus on things I'm into that way, you know? I don't half-ass my interest. (this is probably related to my autism, of course)
So what does this have to do with fanfic? like, do I go read some fanfics as part of this process? No, and I think the reason for it is when I specifically first got into fandom, as a teen.
See, this sort of fandom-librarian was harder to do in 1997, you know? You couldn't just pull up the wikipedia for that new show and see how many episodes it had. You also couldn't just listen to the whole discography of that band! Forget Spotify or Google Music, even Napster didn't exist yet.
So my interest in fandom focused a lot more on very basic questions: How many episodes/albums/books/whatever are there? Where can I see/hear them all? Like, I remember getting excited because I found some fan magazine that had a list of all the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. Just a list! Not even descriptions or anything. I finally could take that list and see how many I'd seen, so I'd know when I saw them all in late-night reruns.
So I'm focusing on these very basic parts of being a fandom-librarian and I stumble across some fanfic. I'm like "oh, is this a transcript of an episode I haven't seen yet?" and I realize it's not, it's a story written by a fan, and I get a knee-jerk reaction of "that's not helpful to my quest to know and find all the episodes". It's like I am on a quest for the holy grail and I found a fake cup. It's not helpful to me, and at worst it's a distraction from my goal.
And the thing is, I think the fact I had that reaction is entirely due to the time and situation in which I first encountered fanfic. It was in that environment of "I can't even find a list of the episodes, let alone a way to watch them all!" and that anxiety that colored my response to finding fanfic.
I think if I instead was first introduced to fanfic NOW, where those fandom-librarian drives aren't so difficult to fulfill, I'd be way more positive about fanfic. If I could get a list of episodes with a quick google search, and watch them easily on netflix/prime/whatever, I'd be less "THIS DOESN'T HELP! I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE BASICS HERE!" and more "yay, more content for the fandom I'm obsessed with!"
Like I said, I'm not anti-fanfic, I never have been, I just never got into it. From the beginning I had this reaction that was "this is not useful" and I never developed any real interest in it. Which is a shame, honestly. Fanfic is great. It just never became one of my interests, and while I've written it and read it from time to time, I imagine I'd be way more into it if I didn't have the weird reaction to it due to the worries of the time in which I first encountered it.
I don't know how many other people have brains that work anything like mine, but if they exist, I'm glad they're now growing up in a world where they won't have these problems. They can get into fanfic without this weird baggage caused by a lack of information.
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followthebluebell · 3 months
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entirely random question, if you happen to have any thoughts on it: why are cats so terrible at fetch when dogs aren't? even kitties who enjoy the "chase-and-return" concept usually don't actually fully return the toy when it seems like dogs work that part out pretty quick.
Because we bred dogs to do it, basically. A lot of dog breeds are retrievers, which do exactly what it says on the tin: they retrieve things. Teaching my poodle to play fetch didn't require much 'teaching' because those instincts are right there at the surface. He wants to fetch things the same way an artist wants to create. It's what he was born to do.
Even dogs that aren't retrievers are still dogs and are, in general, hardwired to listen and learn from people. People can and will make an argument about 'oh, but this breed is STUBBORN' (ie, huskies, salukis, a lot of hounds tbh, pretty much every primitive breed, etc; I'm not going to sit here and list all the breeds that are deemed 'difficult to train'), but I don't think that's fully accurate. Primitive breeds that are 'hard to train' are STILL going to learn from humans. They just don't always learn the things we're trying to teach them, but that's an entirely different kettle of fish.
I also want to emphasize that I FULLY believe that dogs changed us too. I don't think humans would be what we are today if it wasn't for our fully unique relationship with dogs. There's no other animal that we've domesticated the same way we have dogs, and there never will be. They fulfill so many roles in the development of human kind that it's astonishing. They were our hunting companions, our guardians, our trackers, our food, they even supplied wool (the salish wool dog is an extinct breed that was raised for wool similar to sheep), and our friends. Because of them, we became human. Because of us, they became dogs.
i'm sorry i'm getting really emotional about dogs. It's just that there's such a deep relationship between the species. Over our centuries, dogs became so incredibly attuned to us, to the point where they have the ability to communicate with and understand us more than any other domesticated species and we have the same with them. There's no other species on earth that inherently understands what a human means when we point a finger, but dogs DO.
basically dogs fetch because we bred them to want to retrieve, they want to learn things from us, and we want to teach them. Cats don't have any of these instincts. This doesn't mean they're any lesser or greater. They're just different and that's fantastic.
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strongheartneteyam · 10 months
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Realize where you belong.
Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader
Chapter 5
CW: dubious consent, mentions of NON CON, neteyam yearning for reader, angst all over, you can see the sexual tension with your naked eyes, possessive neteyam, feelings of general and sexual confusion, mentions of sexual fluids, talks of being sexually aroused, sexual content, tsaheylu is mentioned, reader is still scared of Neteyam but she longs for him too, fear kink (if you squint), mentions of blood, size kink (if you really squint), primal [hunter/prey] kink (if you squint HARD), crying, strong language, the word "harassment" is mentioned, MAY BE TRIGGERING to some people, mentions of exophilia, indecisive reader, heartbroken Neteyam, heartbroken reader. Please, tell me if I missed anything important!
I slept a lot during the day yesterday and was up until late with my bf having dinner, watching YouTube etc and, when he went to sleep, I was restless, still didn't feel like sleeping so, I decided to edit and finish this chapter that was being kept in my Docs for way too long, it was getting dusty 😂 So, I might have stayed up until morning in the zone editing and finishing this 👀 I'm REALLY sleepy and exhausted rn, so, if some parts of this chapter don't really make sense, try to have empathy for my poor tired being and forgive me <3 I'm aware that I'm a hot mess who has insomnia and needs to get a grip and not put her art above healthy sleeping habits but what can I do? I'm one of those chaotic artists who have a hectic, unstable life and feel the most alive when they're immersed in their craft, running away from their problems, pouring their whole soul into their works 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not proofread. Me. too. tired. 💤  I'll do it ASAP! hope you guys like this. 🤍😘 comments will ALWAYS be incredibly appreciated.
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Chapter 4
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
From lashes to ashes and from lust to dust
In your sweetest torment I am lost
And we sense the danger but don't want to give up
It's heartache every moment, from the start 'til the end
It's heartache every moment with you
Heartache Every Moment (HIM)
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
You stared at Neteyam, at his big face, covered with stripes and fascinating bioluminescent freckles, leaving unique patterns all over his blue skin.
Even though he was kneeling down, doing everything he could to seem smaller and not so scary, to make you feel less intimidated by his size, his face was still way above your eyes, you still felt your neck hurt a little when you had to look up - straining your muscles, already sore from working too much - to gaze at his eyes.
"Oh, paskalin" (honey) "I could make you feel so good, you don't even know..." he was now even closer to you - you didn't even think it was possible but there he was, his massive frame making you feel smaller than ever. Fear of him snapping at you, in case you did something that didn't please, and hurting you was taking over your mind. You didn't know that Omatikaya boy, how could you trust him? "Give me a chance, be my mate and lemme show you how much pleasure I can give you, how I can make you feel safe and fulfilled in my arms after we make love. Like no fucking human male could ever do. Not like I would." Neteyam's fangs got prominent at that moment, and you could tell he was restraining himself from hissing at the thought of a human man having you in his arms. God, that had a name...
"Obsession." you thought
Despite those horrible feelings you were experiencing, his foreign accent still sounded weird but strangely fascinating to your ears, simultaneously. You hated yourself for feeling drawn to Neteyam, even though he was clearly stepping over your limits. You didn't know if maybe it was a na'vi courtship behavior for the male to get this close to the female, even if she hadn't shown any signs of wanting him to. But Neteyam wasn't exactly courting you, you thought. It was more like... straight up harassment, at least in human culture.
Your breath became heavier inside your oxygen mask when you thought about him using his fangs to draw blood from your skin in case you were able to be fast enough to go past where he was kneeling down next to you, and, tried to run away. With his incredibly slender, toned legs he could easily catch up with you in a millisecond and grab you, being free to do whatever he wanted to your small, defenseless human body. That thought made you feel like someone was knotting your intestines tight.
"Eywa... You're just so fucking pretty, even in this demon form, that I... I wanna do to you, right now, all I've been dreaming about, since I first saw you and you made my blood run hotter through my veins, such a fire you ignited inside me, syulang..." (flower)
Neteyam's breath was so heavy once out of his nostrils, clouding your mask, like he's controlling his urges, trying to hold back from touching you. You felt your knees weaken, fear and tension being the reasons why.
"Y-you don't want me, Neteyam. Not really. You just think you do. You're only intrigued by me because I look different from the girls you're used to. The na'vi girls." You didn't know how but you dug deep inside your chest and found the courage there to say that, looking into the alien's eyes.
Neteyam chuckled faintly, air coming out of his nose, in disbelief
"How can you say such thing, hì’i?"
"Hì..hì?" You tried to pronounce what you had just heard, in vain. You had no idea what that na'vi word meant. It's not like you knew that much of the na'vi language, anyway. You only knew the basic stuff that you had to study and learn to be able pass one of the tests that would determine if you were ready to get an Avatar body from the lab
"Hì'i." He corrected you, smiling wide and laughing quite a bit. "You're so silly and cute. Hì'i means "small in size" in my people's language. You are small, in this current physical form. But, let's talk about what's most important: what makes you think I don't really want you?"
"Because I am a demon to you, as you said. I am a human girl, not a na'vi girl." you said, rage slipping through your eyes. Why the hell was that crazy na'vi guy calling you a "demon", saying that he wants you sexually and calling you pet names, all at once?
"But you have an Avatar body. Nothing is preventing you from having your consciousness transferred for good to that body. If my father did it, so can you." The alien said, full of confidence. You wondered if he was going insane.
"And what makes you think I wanna do it?"
“My tawtute," (human) "I can smell you. I know you want me too. You're wet for me. Don't forget my senses are way sharper than what you're used to" Neteyam smiles calmly while enjoying the way your scent hit his nostrils. You felt your face flood with color, so much blood going directly to that part of your body as you felt incredibly embarassed when you heard those words. You had just realized your panties were soaked. "And, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you… Your juices smell so fucking delicious. You're driving me insane right now, yawne. I think that, at the end of the day, becoming my mate and making tsaheylu with me wouldn't be such a horrible experience for you."
Your thoughts cursed at you like crazy: "Damn it!! I must be kidding my own self!! Having a slight crush on him is one thing, getting fucking wet for him is something totally different! Do I have a fear kink, a rape kink or am I just into freaking exophilia?! For real, girl... There's gotta be something extremely wrong with you for you to be this turned on by the thought of this alien guy taking you by force."
"You're crazy! I'm not gonna be your mate! Just fucking let me go!" You wondered if you had just lost your mind to say and do that to Neteyam, being currently in your human body (if you were Dreamwalking it would obviously be safer) but you couldn't take all that was happening at that moment anymore. Your heart was beating too fast, like you were about to have a cardiac arrest. It was too much. You were overwhelmed.
You caught Neteyam off guard, the words you shouted stinged him so hard it left his very heart wounded, the muscles throbbing in pain. You noticed he seemed hurt, the sides of his mouth curled down faintly and his cat like ears were pointing towards the ground.
You felt bad for hurting his feelings. Even though he was disrespecting you, there was still enough empathy inside you to make you feel bad for making him suffer. You did not enjoy hurting people.
You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves and, finally, you said:
"Look, I don't mean to be rude, even though you honestly deserve it. There's no excuse for what you're doing. You can't force me to be your mate. I'm not even na'vi! And don't start with that "You have an Avatar body" thing, please!" You breathe in deeply and let the air out slowly "I'm not your dad and I don't intend to follow his steps. I know very well I could die if I tried to go past Eywa's eye. Even if I wanted to get my consciousness transferred forever to my Avatar form, it's too damn risky. Plus, what makes you think I'd ever do it for you? I barely know you." You sighed, exhausted from it all. "Let me go back to my room. Please…?"
Neteyam looked tired and he was starting to feel defeated, like a soldier fighting in the front lines of a war who was losing his stamina after shooting way too many enemies in a very short period of time.
"I just wish you could…" it's like the words felt too rough against his throat, like it was too hard to talk at that moment "... could see that I won't hurt you." He sighed again "I know it feels weird and I'm big and scary, like you say…" His heart hurt at the reminder of your tough words "But I promise you - and I take promises very seriously. My parents taught me to do so, ever since I was old enough to understand their words - I would never lay a finger you." The expression on his face looked utterly serious, like he truly meant it. "Ever."
"You're hurting me with your actions, your words... the way you talk about me, about my body. I don't know about your culture, but it's pretty disrespectful in mine. I feel violated. I do think most of what the human race considers right or wrong is just bullshit, dumb society rules made up by even dumber people. But I have to agree with them on this one." You said
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hì’i tawtute." (small human) Neteyam looked down at the floor and there was shame all over his face
"Opening my window for you was a mistake."
Neteyam looked at you with eyes filled with sadness
He got back on his feet and stepped away from you, staying now arguably a good amount of steps away from where you were standing.
"Please, don't say that…" Neteyam pleaded with tears in his eyes
"I'm sorry. I have to go."
༊⁀➷
Once you got back to your room, took your oxygen mask out of your face on autopilot and closed the window, you stared for a while at Neteyam's oddly tall figure, still standing in front of your room.
You looked at him and your heart broke. He looked so hurt. His big yellow irises shone insanely in the dark of the eclipse. But his eyes were tainted with tears. His dark braids fell onto his shoulders perfectly. He was incredibly beautiful. But why could you only let your guard down when he was away from you? When you were behind a glass and he was standing on the other side? It broke your heart to do that. But you also knew he was being too much. Too eager. Stepping over your limits and making you uncomfortable. But what if that was just his na'vi nature? You had heard before that the na'vi were humanoid but still animalistic. Maybe it was just… his primal instincts to find a mate. You wondered if maybe you were being too harsh on him. But you still felt like you could not and should not trust him. Even though you wanted to. 
You watched him walk away, his shoulders pointing downwards, his posture showing he knew he had lost that battle.
You wondered if he would come back or if he would give up on you. You felt so idiotic. Why did you want him to come back? He was not treating you the way he should be, with respect for your boundaries.
You felt so confused. There was a lump in your throat. You felt like you were about to cry too.
Your hands were cold and you were feeling anxious and your chest was filled with angst. You wanted to scream Neteyam's name and ask him to come back.  But you did not. You knew you shouldn't. It could awake someone. It could be dangerous. You should not trust Neteyam, you kept repeating in your mind.
Your feet started to move, almost as if they did it on their own, because it felt like your mind was somewhere else, like your brain was occupied with something else other than sending a message to your feet and tell them to take you back to your bed. You were lost in your thoughts. Dazed as hell. 
Once you laid on your bed and covered your body with the warm sheets, you felt a sinking feeling of sadness and guilt bruising your chest. Hot, painful tears streamed down your face and the lump in your throat intensified. Why were you crying? And why were you thinking about Neteyam Suli while you cried?
You wondered if he could imagine that you were now crying, just like he was when he left.
༊⁀➷
Taglist:
@kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life
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factual-fantasy · 24 days
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18 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🎪
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@pink088
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Guuuuurl does it look like I missed the boops? XDD
(I DID miss the super boops and revenge boops tho. I was trashed on the couch and stuck on mobile all day so I wasn't able to send any back to anyone💔💔)
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Uhhhmm... oh jeez lemme try to remember-- I'm assuming you mean the order I got everyone in the game..?? Cuz other than the goofy little comics I've been drawing there isn't much of a story beyond that-
Uhhh so I started with Midori(Sprigatito) obviously, thennn... I think I caught Grim(Gastly).. then I caught Gloria(Ralts). Thenn..... arrhrhhgh I thiiiink I went looking for eevees, but I found Anastasia(Shiny Kricketot) in the process and kept her. Then I picked one of the eevees I caught at random and kept him. Then lastly I found a Mareep(Bonnie) by surprise and kept her.
My memory is very poor but I thiiink that's mostly accurate <XDD If I misunderstood your question don't be afraid to send another ask! 😅
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@pbjfox37147878
Sorry, I don't take requests.. But hey! You already got a solid concept going and some artistic talent, you can always make it yourself for free! :0
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Not really.. I've had a surprising number of uncomfortable experiences with the fandom recently so I've decided to take a step back from Octonauts for a while..
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@psype
:DD Thank you! I'm glad you like them! :}}
And yeah that's how I pictured her XDD its becuase I use her the most out of all my Pokémon-
Now she's not bossy and doesn't have a leader or "I'm better that you guys" complex, none of that! She's just very intelligent and usually very level headed and calm. I can imagine that she's gotten the team safely through a lot of complicated situations and her plans/advice have rarely led the group astray.
Plus since I use her so often, I like to think that she's one of the most powerful Pokémon on the team. If not the most powerful. So whenever the group was met with a great danger, Gloria was probably the one to rescue them <XD
So the whole group kind'a gravitates behind her and lets/wants her to take the lead most of the time. Especially when things get complicated or dangerous!
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@nerdyskullcap (User in ask)
I took a peek at their blog, but I couldn't find any original art of the Conductor after quite a while of scrolling through that tag.. I only found reblogs of other peoples Conductor comics.. <:(
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XD That description of Gloria is very fitting! I use her the most out of all my Pokémon and she rarely loses! XDD
This was a cool read, and hey! Some of my Pokémon have some of those attacks! :000 Gloria has draining kiss and Bonnie has discharge! :D
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@cat7890
I'd like to think they've never fought before.. maybe some little bickering on a bad day, but never anything serious.
They have good communication and just generally get along really well and like a lot of the same things. So there's rarely conflict between them! :0
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Thank you! I'm happy to hear that you like my artwork! :}}
As for your question.. I'm afraid I don't understand/cant explain it--
Lets say I wanna draw Mario. I imagine what the drawing might end up looking like in my head, what pose I'll draw him in and what colors I'll use.. And then I just.. draw it. It might not look exactly like what I pictured but its probably close enough.
If that doesn't answer your question, I'm afraid I either don't understand your question or this is just an art thing that I don't know how to explain. <:( Sorry, feel free to send another ask with more specifics if you have them!
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@sleep-deprived-fr3ak
If Bill ever became a lawyer? All hope is lost XDD
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@raven-bearden-the-interviewer42
I haven't really thought about the details of the crews travels and adventures.. but I'm sure that when Louis got cursed and became a crab monster? That was probably pretty memorable XD
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Probably this one honestly <XD I cant think of anything more cursed off the top of my head-
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@fawncr33k
I suppose that would be fine, but I wouldn't prefer it. As I've said many times,, just comments guys! Asks, reblogs, tags, how ever you type them. I just want comments.👍
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@neo-metalscottic
No problem! Getting asks are usually a pick me up :}}
As for the Dry Bones thing, that's what I meant by "not sure how it fits into the AU yet" 😅 Who'd they fight? Why did they fight? When did this happen? No idea. Its all just a neat concept with no structure yet :// And beyond the awkward living situation with the Dry Bones today, I haven't really thought about how the Koopa culture has been changed by the war. That's just way too much thinking and I'm way too sick to bother trying to figure it out atm- 💀💔 But maybe someday I'll think it through!
Now Luigi, I had this idea that he had a bizarre encounter with a 1-UP and was later bitten by a Goomba. Over the span of say... 5 days or so..? Luigi slowly got weaker and weaker until eventually he became bedridden and actually died- He came back to life moments after but it still completely shook Mario and Luigi's worlds for a sec there-
I had intended to draw a comic about this, and I made a sketch about it in the past.. but around the time I thought of this idea my Mario phase was kind'a passing over so I didn't feel like making it- <XDD
As for a potential sequel, I would like to see Wario, Waluigi and Toadsworth. Not sure why Toadsworth wasn't in the first movie- he absolutely should have been. That deep voiced purple..? council..? toad guy?? Totally should have been Toadsworth :/
And my request for the Wario bros is that they are taken seriously. 😅🤣
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@cherrycreamfairy
I'm doing okay so far today, thank you! :}
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@littlelightfish
I haven't really figured out the details about how Tuna and Louis lost their limbs- 😅
But I'm considering that Louis lost his arm (I assume you meant his arm-) in some kind of work related accident a long time ago. It must have been a fishing accident somehow..
As for Tuna, either some kind of natural disaster/accident or.. someone "removed" them... O-O
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I do not :/ I'm not even sure what homestuck is.. I thiiink its a webcomic-
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@nemo-draco
Oooo! :00 It looks cool! :DD
And thank you, I'm hoping I get over this soon too 😅
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fairuzfan · 3 months
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Your post about how many people are unknowingly falling for & spreading propaganda... yeah. I typed up a whole spiel of a comment on one of your posts the other day that I ended up deciding not to not actually post because it felt like detailing, but seriously. The amount of well meaning, genuinely anti-zionist people ignorantly sharing zionists' posts because they just don't pick up on the leading undertones is honestly more terrifying than than the amount of actual zionists in some ways.
I'm someone who was born into a doomsday cult, and seeing all these people falling for the exact same blatant (or so i thought lol) recruitment/manipulation tactics I've seen used by them my entire life has absolutely fucking terrifying. These are people who are actively trying to combat zionism, but I guess the general public is so uneducated about propaganda/cult tactics that what immediately reads as blatantly manipulative, misleading bullshit to me just doesn't even register as strange to most people. Not to be repetitive, but seriously: fucking terrifying.
There's so much focus on the way people/groups who want to manipulate you will use language of fear, but in this case especially, people need to realize they will almost always appeal to your compassion before they appeal to your fear.
It's all peace and love and happiness because that's what gets people in the door. You preach (or post) the mushy, happy, fun stuff that makes people feel good to draw them in, and you slowly start peppering in the ideas you actually want to lead them to believe later on once you've got them wanting to believe you.
This also has this added effect of helping the group or person's image. Even the people who you don't manage to draw in will have the impression of you as someone who runs their mouth 24/7 about how you're full of love and want the best for everyone, which is especially useful for when you inevitably want to frame yourself as the victim to demonize the people who will inevitably oppose you. If your first and only exposure to a person is seeing them calling for world peace and universal love, you are much more likely to be inclined to believe they (and by extension their cause) are the sympathetic, loving, peaceful good guys being unjustly targeted.
Sorry for rambling, but like... really. It won't always be something nefarious, of course--the vast majority of the the time, it won't be--but I think we would all be in a much better situation if people took it as a general rule of thumb that you should always be a little suspicious of overly vague talk about peace and love.
You're EXACTLY right. I really appreciate this message, because you put to words a lot of my inherent analysis of arguments and ideas. I like grew up with this rhetoric so it's easy to spot for me, but the way that people speak about "peace" as the overall goal when they're zionist is so blatant to me because there is no material change in the scenario they propose but rather a calmness where Palestinians are ignored.
And picking up on subtext of a lot of messages is something you have to have a muscle for kinda because of how subtle it is. The frightening part is, you're right, that the indoctrination part of zionism is the most harmful part because you appeal to their pathos — their fear, their sense of safety, etc — and you go on down the rabbit hole and slowly start being radicalized and pro-zionism or you might not even be pro-zionism 100% but enjoy... soft zionism as a mutual of mine put it once (if you read this and want to be tagged, lmk). Which soft zionism is the MAIN opinion in many liberal circles btw, its not an uncommon opinion.
I even remember once sharing a post by a zionist because i saw them talk about esims but when i went on their blog a few days later because something rubbed me the wrong way, I noticed their pinned and I was like "oh dam I gotta delete that other post" like that's how often this happens.
Idk, I try to combat this by putting sources or approaching from a standpoint of logical arguments rather than identity-based politics (although, sometimes i think there are some things that people who are a certain identity can be the only true experts on) so that I try to encourage actual engagement with ideas and walking them through thought processes rather than "I'm palestinian so just trust me."
Like even with my one fact checking list, idk if I succeeded but I wanted to emphasize that there are multiple factors you should consider when confronting ANY sort of information and should not blindly trust things. News sources have regularly burned or ignored Palestinians so I know a lot of us are really sensitive to these things, but I don't know! I hope people can engage with ideas more than just surface level thinking in general because it helps everyone when you actually interact with the point of view the other person is providing rather than just blindly trusting/distrusting people.
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pseudophan · 3 months
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some post wad weekend thoughts...
i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes
first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.
guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.
most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).
and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.
ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.
i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately
anyway. back to work 💪
(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)
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lurkingshan · 2 months
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Unknown Episode 5
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Oh, Yuan. Your yearning is palpable through the screen, other people in the story are starting to notice, and I can feel the pain coming.
This show is building spectacularly. I feel like I'm with Yuan as his feelings become more and more uncontrollable, with Qian feeding them unknowingly at every turn. One thing the novel did so well, and that the show is pulling off too, is showing us that Qian also feels differently about Yuan than he does about other people, even if it's mostly on a subconscious level and he would deny it if you asked. He listens to him and worries about him in a way he doesn't anyone else, and he is attuned to his feelings even if he can't always articulate why. And everyone around him can see it. Lili has long accepted that this is just the way her brothers are with each other. The office ladies (fujoshis all, as it turns out) have clicked into their dynamic.
And San Pang is actively worried and starting to interfere in their relationship, because he can see two things clearly: 1) Yuan definitely likes Qian; 2) Qian seems to feel something for him in return even if he is not aware of it. I don't think San Pang would bother to interfere if he thought Yuan's feelings were truly hopeless. It's because he can see the way Qian unconsciously relies on and returns Yuan's affections that he's worried.
I like the way the show adapted this plot line from the book. Like many things in the story, they have softened the tone of it (San Pang was a lot more homophobic about it in the novel), and San Pang in general is pretty different here. In the book he's unattractive and loud and brash, while here he's so dreamy that Lili has a crush. But it's understandable that he would be uncomfortable with the idea of Qian and Yuan's relationship becoming romantic; he has grown up with them as brothers, too, and it's an idea he just can't reconcile with how he thinks of them. Attempting to redirect Qian's attention to a "more appropriate" love interest is a logical move, and one I can forgive him for, even though it's bound to fail. I'll be curious to see what exactly he says to Yuan next week.
As for Yuan, I just feel so much for him. His feelings are leaking out at every turn; he has entirely lost his ability to mask it. I was glad he got to come out to Qian, be accepted (after some token resistance), and at least clear this one hurdle in their relationship, but you can feel his frustration at still being too young to approach Qian in the way he wants (reminder that despite what the subs claim, he is still calling him ge, not using his name when they speak). Yuan is still in school and has other obligations and important life milestones to meet before he can come to Qian as an adult partner. Having to leave for things like training camp makes him unhappy when he just wants to be around to take care of Qian. I found the office workers filling in for him on Qian caretaker duty quite sweet, and I do think Qian loves the way Yuan dotes on him even as he pretends not to need it.
I am anticipating and dreading the inevitable implosion when Qian is no longer able to ignore Yuan's feelings and consequently has to confront his own. Next week is going to be painful for both of them.
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grandlinedreams · 6 months
Note
This is totally calling myself out with (why I’m anon 😭), but would you be comfortable doing unexpected pregnancy trope w/ Law. Or just the pregnancy trope in general. I absolutely adore it, but I do know a lot of people don’t/aren’t comfortable with it
Ough i have a request in my drafts that I'm working on that's got a tad more of an angstier spin on this so I'm gonna use this one to give him the happy ending we all hope he'd get :')
[Heads up!: fluff, married!law makes me wanna gnaw my arm off, afab/fem aligned reader, I think Law'd do his best to be a good dad and I will die on that hill]
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Truth be told, Law never thought he'd make it this far. There have been a hundred odds stacked against him, tipped the scales in their favor over his ㅡ and somehow, he's still here.
There are days where he wonders if it's worth it, if he's worth it ㅡ and then he remembers Sengoku's words about Cora's sacrifice for him.
"Don't ever attach a reason to the love you've been given."
He's been loved ㅡ by his parents, by Lami, by Cora. By his crew, his friends ㅡ and you. You, who've been patiently by his side this entire time, fighting for a future that's worth sticking around for.
And now he has it. The metal band around his finger is still new to him sometimes, and he fiddles with it when he's lost in thought, rotating it as the little stones shimmer. It's not anything extravagant ㅡ but neither of you had wanted that.
"Who cares about rocks and the money for them when I have you?" You'd said when he asked, staring at him with such conviction his chest hurt.
"Law?" Your voice brings him out of his thoughts, finding you standing a few feet away from where he'd been zoning out as he stared out the kitchen window over the sink. The house the two of you own is modest, but it suits the two of you and Law still has a tough time accepting the fact that he owns a house now, rather than just a submarine. (For man who's spent most of his life uncertain he'd get a tomorrow, he's settled into domesticity surprisingly well for the most part.)
"You were gone when I woke up," he says by way of greeting, catches the nervous fidget of your arms, tucked behind you as you rock back and forth on your feet. "Where'd you go?"
"Town," you answer and when he frowns, you sigh. "I wasn't there long, and I've never once seen a wanted poster. We're not pirates anymore, you know."
"Can never be too careful," he intones, watches you mouth the words with him in a way that suggests it's far from the first time you've heard him say it. (It's true. He's said it a lot.) "Does it have to do with what you're hiding behind your back?"
"Maybe," you singsong before you bring your arms out from behind you, a neatly wrapped box extended towards him. He blinks, then his brow furrows.
"Did I miss an anniversary?"
"No."
"Is it your birthday?"
"No."
"Is itㅡ"
"Just open it, Law." There's an undercurrent of nerves to your tone as he takes the box from you, watching him as he sits down at the table to unwrap the thin bow of red ribbon around it.
You wait with baited breath as he sets the ribbon aside, pops the lid off of it ㅡ and pulls the contents out. You know exactly what it is, having spent the last few days trying to come up with the perfect way to tell him.
Law stares at the cloth in his hands. It's small, made of soft fabric and little metal buttons at the bottom, spaced between where two legs should go ㅡ oh. Oh.
And all at once, it clicks.
"You're pregnant?" He doesn't mean for it to sound like an accusation, only that he's aware neither of you'd been really trying yet ㅡ content to take one day at a time, together.
You nod. "I'm way late on my cycle, and given how lousy I've felt recently..." You watch him stand, leftover nerves making you ramble as he approaches. "I mean I know we've talked about kids but haven't wanted to really try yetㅡ"
His arms wind around you, holding you to him gently. There are a thousand thoughts that race through his head, of what-ifs concerning your health, the baby's ㅡ the fear that he's somehow passed on the disease he's long since been rid of.
He exhales against the top of your head, pushes the worries and fears back. He can deal with those later. Instead, he focused on what he can handle right now. "How far are you?"
"Not sure," you answer. "If we go by cycle, a month or so? Could be earlier than that."
His grip tightens. "You're pregnant," he mumbles, almost to himself. "We're having a baby."
You nod, letting yourself cling to him the way he is to you. "You're going to be a dad, Law."
The thought of fatherhood both excites and terrifies him ㅡ what if he's a horrible dad? He knows absolutely nothing about babies beyond what he remembers from when Lami was born, which is hardly much of anything.
"It's okay to be scared, Law." Your voice is soft, whispered against his chest. "I am too. But we'll do this together, okay? We'll be fine."
Law holds you to him, presses his lips to the top of your head as he thinks of the future. You, him, and the little piece of you both, growing inside you.
"Yeah," he finally says. "We'll be just fine."
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farfromstrange · 1 year
Text
Long-Distance | Matt Murdock x Reader
masterlist
Pairing: Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader
Summary: Matthew gifts you a vibrator for while he's away - but it’s not at all what you think. He bought it for you to play with him and yourself at the same time. How can you say no to such a lucrative offer?
Warnings: SMUT, 18+ MINORS DNI, porn without plot, established relationship, no pronouns (but Matt calls reader a good girl), pure filth, mutual masturbation, use of a vibrator, soft!dom Matt, JOI, sub!reader, hints at unprotected p in v sex, breeding kink, mentions of choking kink, phone sex, dirty talk, coming untouched (?), fluff, no y/n but it's from your pov
A/n: I decided to take the old post down and post it AGAIN because no matter what I'm doing, Tumblr refuses to let my fics appear in the tags. It's pissing me off because I worked hard on this and I actually want people to read it, so I'm trying this again.
I wrote this in two hours – I'm that fucking horny. That’s why there might be several errors here, but idc. Also, I think it's fucking amazing that such vibrators exist (I found that out totally on accident and now I can't wait to meet my s/o and try it out with them). Matt Murdock and remote vibrators? Yes, please. It's not a want it's a need. So I wrote this and well, I kind of like it. It's already been posted on ao3 and oh what a wonder, you can actually find it there! Anyway, the thought of Matt buying us a remote vibrator for long-distance phone sex has my mind going all sorts of crazy. Hope you enjoy!
This is too long to be considered a drabble but it's also missing a lot of detail, so it's a non-drabble drabble.
18+ MINORS DNI!
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You're not so sure how you got here.
One moment, you’re kissing your boyfriend goodbye at the airport before he goes on a business trip to Los Angeles, the next you’re holding a small gift-wrapped package he placed under the mattress with a bow as he tells you over the phone to, “Open it.”
You have no idea how you got here, but at the same time, you know exactly how. This always happens. He always finds a way to play even when he’s not home with you. He doesn’t need to be close to make you lose your mind. 
So when you toy with the bow and he can clearly hear the hesitation in your movements, he uses more force to tell you again, “Open it, angel. It won’t bite.”
Unless you want it to - you’re hoping it’s not jewelry. You love it when he makes expensive gifts he can barely afford, even with his law firm picking up more wealthy clients willing to pay generous amounts for a good criminal defense, but not tonight. Tonight, you want something else. You want something that can be gift-wrapped, but not over such a vast distance. You want to unwrap something else, feel something else and have someone else in bed with you. 
Eventually, you get the bow open and free the object within the long box from its confines. You swallow. His gift is long and made out of silicone, and it’s thick but not nearly as wide as him. There are three buttons instead of just one and the one underneath the obvious on-button looks like a thermometer. You feel the urge to press it, but you stop yourself. He hasn’t told you to play with it yet, only to unwrap it, and you did. 
“Matthew,” you whisper. It’s almost a warning as much as it is a thank you. 
The phone is on speaker so he can hear every little sound and you can hear him, though with your normal, human senses it’s a little less intense. 
He chuckles and the sound shoots right to your core, the vibrator trembling in your hands; the toy isn’t even on yet, but the prospect of what it can do and might entail turns you on beyond compare. 
Phone sex with Matt has always been intense. Whenever he went away, he made sure that the two of you would have time to get some much-needed intimacy. He loves listening to every sound you make, no matter how pathetic, and the way you respond to the sound of his voice alone has him coming faster than usual. Not to mention he can pour out his filthiest dirty talk right into your ear and since you can’t see him, it’s just his voice that has you on the edge in minutes, and he feels so incredibly proud of himself whenever you would moan his name in ecstasy. He often considered recording those phone sessions to listen back on at a later, much more desperate time, but he’s afraid that if he did that, he might never be able to stop. 
“You like it?” his smug voice climbs through the fog that has taken over your mind. 
You nod and he senses it, he always does, even hundreds of miles away and with a phone in between the two of you. He has complete control over you and no one knows you and your body better than he does. 
Matt thrives off of it. he thrives off of being the only one who can make you come like that, the only one who can push your buttons so precisely and in just the right spot that it makes you cry out. But most importantly, he thrives off the love he has for you. The love you have for him sustains him, but he lives for you and so loving you is truly the best thing that could have happened to him. And whenever you tell him those three magical words, he wants to combust. He’s never been happier than with you. 
You set the package aside, scooting up the mattress until your back hits the headboard. The apartment is so empty without him, but you can hear his breathing on the other end of the line and it makes you feel less alone. The darkness sends shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your skin. 
“What does it do?” you dare to ask. 
Matt chuckles again. “What doesn’t it do?”
“Matthew.”
“Take a closer look, sweetheart,” is all he responds to your threatening tone, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
God, his voice sounds so sexy when it’s all breathy and needy for you. He’s lowering his voice just for you, just to make you feel everything you want and need to feel. And he’s so in love he could die from the intensity.
Following his command, you look at the burgundy vibrator again, shaped like a dick in all the right places, thick in girth and length, but coming nowhere close to what Matt hides under his everyday clothing - and what most possibly lies in his hand right now, hard and throbbing for more. 
Your finger traces over the thermometer symbol, the on-button, and whatever the third button could be for. “It heats up,” you state, and your voice sounds just a little surprised while also sparked with intrigue. 
“That’s right,” he says. 
“And it turns on, obviously, but what’s the third button for?”
You hear a click on the other side. He must have moved his phone from the bedside table into his hand. He sounds so much closer now. 
Mat shifts in his hotel bed. “Take your phone.”
“Okay.” You follow without questioning his intentions. He knows what he’s doing. 
“I downloaded an app.”
“You did what now?”
“Yeah, when you were sleeping before I left. I downloaded an app. Open it,” he says. 
Part of you wants to ask why he would download an app on your phone, but you remind yourself that there is a very pleasing surprise waiting in your hand for you and he only wants to prolong the pleasure. So you comply. 
You reach the last page, skimming over the different apps until you find one you don’t recognize. 
Oh.
Oh.
“Jesus, Matt,” your curse out when you open it and find the first page staring back at you, the lighting setting already turned all the way down so as not to distract you with its blue light. 
“Do you like it?” he asks again. 
He knows you do. 
“It’s with remote control. How did you-”
“I heard about it while I was out the other night. Some couple down the street talked about how this particular model has a long-distance function and I thought, what could be better than finally being able to properly control your orgasms over the distance?”
“Fuck!”
“And you wanna know what’s even better?”
“What?” you ask, swiping to view the different settings. 
What could be better than this?
One press of a button and he could draw his fingers on the screen in a pattern that would have you shaking. He could control your pleasure with his phone alone. The vibrations would be completely in his hands, not yours, and all the while he would whisper the filthiest things into your ear until it would feel as if he was truly there with you. 
It’s so exciting, you rub your thighs together, slowly starting to open the knot of your bathrobe to get some more space to breathe. The room only seems to grow hotter. 
Another click on the other end and then he says, “I have one too.”
You’re unaware of how you got here, but you’re most certainly not going to complain. 
Both vibrators are connected, so while Matt plays with your pussy like a fiddle, you can do whatever you want with him. It’s a ring, he tells you, and he puts it on. You can hear him do it, you listen to his every breath and silent groan, rubbing your thighs together again. 
The bathrobe slips open. You undress for him. He doesn’t have to tell you, you know what you have to do. 
“Are you naked?” he asks. 
You nod your head, “Yes.”
“Good.”
“Are you?” you retort. 
Matt chuckles into your ear from where you placed the phone on the pillow. “I am,” he says. 
“Good.”
“Here’s what we’re going to do: You’re going to take the vibrator and turn it on. Can you do that for me, angel?”
You can and you do. 
“Good girl,” his praise goes straight to your cunt, “Now, I want you to use your free hand to touch your breasts, and give your hard nipples some much-needed attention. Don’t hold back, baby. Do whatever makes you feel good.”
“Okay,” you barely manage to choke out. 
“And while you’re busy doing that, I want you to use the other to place the vibrator on your clit.”
“Fuck, Matthew!”
“That’s right, moan my name. I’m going to teach you how to scream it very soon.”
You have no idea how you got here. 
The vibrator is so deep inside of your tight pussy now, you can feel it resting right against your g-spot, and the stimulator attached to the toy has its tip pressed tightly against your aching clit. He got you so wet so quickly, one hand on your breast and the other using the vibrations of the vibrator to you all wet. 
The setting he’s using can only be described as cruel. You’re sure he’s just playing around, using his finger to stroke up and down not only the speed button on his phone screen but his cock as well.
You really don’t know how you got here, but it feels too damn good to stop and question the series of events that lead you here, to him. 
His name is a mantra embedded in your brain. “Matthew,” you’re moaning and writhing and he can hear everything. 
Your hands clutch the sheets and your back arches. The vibrator pulsates, then slows down only to pick up the pace again. He keeps doing that until you’re crying, overstimulated, and on the edge of an orgasm that felt the most intense it had ever been. 
But you reap what you sow and so Matt gets back just exactly what he’s giving you. You find your phone again, interrupting the constant vibrations of his own toy, and changing the setting. If you have to suffer, he might as well join you. 
It’s filthy, the things you’re doing and what you’re saying. You should feel bad for fucking yourself on a vibrator controlled by your boyfriend and waking the neighbors with your obscene sounds, but in the bliss of pleasure, you couldn’t care less about what the people in the building have to say about you. 
You both need this so damn much. 
He grunts on the other end and that tells you he is getting close too, so you slow down the vibrations and match them to your own, moving your fingers in the same rhythm he does. 
“Angel,” he breathes and your name follows suit. He’s a mess and he’s so needy, his cock throbs hard. All he wants to do is come, preferably in you, and fill you with his release until you’re fucking overflowing and well-bred, but he can’t. He wants to fuck you through this intense orgasm as your pussy flutters and shakes around him. He wants to hear how wet you are, feel your tears, and choke your pretty little neck until you’re coming all over him. He doesn’t care if it gets messy, he just wants you, and as he fists himself along to the vibrations you torture his red, weeping cock with the vibrating ring at the base, he imagines it’s your hand, your mouth, your fucking pussy that’s making him feel so good. 
And he knows you’re imagining his cock, too. You’re imagining him driving in and out of you, twitching and pushing into your g-spot expertly. In your head, he has you pinned down with a hand around your throat, the other rubbing your clit vigorously and at a torturous pace as you inch closer and closer to your climax. He has your legs thrown over his shoulder, or he just holds you close, chest to chest as he fucks into you relentlessly. Perhaps he’s even turning you over now, forcing you to get to your hands and knees and pounding into your tight, used hole. You can only imagine the sting of his hand on your ass, the hand in his hair as he hauls you back and kisses you passionately, making you feel his love and his cock at the same time, and once he touches your neck you would come hard around him, screaming or speechless, whatever mood you are in at the moment, and he’d follow suit, spurting his hot cum into your pussy. It’s lewd, it’s foolish and a lot could go wrong with protecting, but you don’t care anymore. If that man wants to fuck his babies into you, God knows you would do it for him. In the heat of the moment, you think so, at least, because you agreed you aren’t ready for children yet and wouldn’t be for some time, but having Matt Murdock fuck his seed into your cunt as it spasms around his thick cock, marking and breeding you like a toy does things to you. He’s so rough while also being the gentlest when holding you as you come, whispering praises, and kissing you. 
God, you are so close. You’re not sure how much more you can take.
He groans. “Just a little more,” he tells you. “Don’t come yet. Wait for my permission, sweetheart. Be a good girl for me.”
Matt turns down the vibrator only so much that your orgasm washes away, the wave disappearing, and adding to the tsunami that is waiting to hit home. 
You whine, grabbing the sheets. 
“Are you thinking about me? About how my cock would feel inside of you? ‘Cause I’m thinking about you,” he says. “I’m thinking about your tits bouncing whenever I thrust inside of you and the feel of your click cunt taking me so well, making all kinds of sounds that have me wanting to suck on those beautiful lips of yours for days on end. God, you have no idea how much I want you right now. Turn the heat on.”
That’s the one thing he can’t control.
“I want you to feel like it is my dick inside of you, baby.”
“But you’re so much bigger,” you argue, even amid your pleasure. 
He chuckles. “I know I am.”
The heat does things to you. It relaxes your walls and allows the vibrator to push even deeper until it’s buried to the hilt. Only then does the accelerate the vibrations again. Together with the heat, your legs are soon shaking and your walls clench, holding the orgasm right there. You don’t have permission, but you need to come. You need to come now or you would make him very unhappy. 
“N’ugh, please, Matthew. I’m so close. So fucking close.”
“I know,” he purrs. 
“Come with me,” you plead and once you put the vibrations of his ring on full intensity, his moans grow louder and he’s shaking, whimpering even, and his voice cracks. 
He reaches for the phone and almost doesn’t make it to tell you, “Come,” before your bubble bursts, the knot releases, and all the pressure on your cunt evaporates with the most intense orgasm he could have possibly pulled out of you. 
Once again, you have no idea how you got here. Legs shaking, cheeks wet with tears, the sheets soaked with your wet cum as your cunt and clit twitch. It’s swollen and aching between your legs, like your folds and everything else. Your nipples are so sensitive, you have to ease the hand that holds them. You’re trembling, but only in the ways that are so fucking good. 
For minutes, you don’t know how long, and none of you speak. Only heavy breathing fills the phone line. The vibrators have long stopped producing sounds as you shut them off, though you are far too gone to pull it out. It fills you like Matt’s cock would, and you want to keep the image alive for a little longer, feel him in and on you even if he can’t be there to hold you. You can’t keep his cock warm, but you can pretend, only for a moment. 
You break the silence first. “Matt?” you ask into the night. 
He hums on the other side. 
“When are you coming home?”
Your voice is vulnerable and honest, and he sighs. He doesn’t want to hurt you, doesn’t want to disappoint you, and he doesn’t want to stay and work on that godforsaken case any longer either. It’s over, he can go home. He wants to go home. If he has to hand off his caseload to someone else, Jennifer Walters maybe, he would if it meant he could get to see you sooner than planned. One more day, he swears, and then he would take the earliest flight back home to you. 
“Soon,” he answers. “I’ll be home soon, sweetheart.”
He still doesn’t quite know what he did to deserve you. The more important it is to him to make you unconditionally happy. He doesn’t want you to leave, doesn’t want to lose you, he just wants you in his arms for the rest of his life. 
“You’re the love of my life,” he continues long after you’ve fallen asleep to the sound of his voice, cleaned up and tired from your shared activities. “I will always come back home to you,” he says. “I promise.”
Though he decides that this time, as soon as he’s home, he will ease the weight dragging down the inside of his suit jacket every time he’s with you, he’s never dared to ask you before. Too much of a coward to stand up and speak now, to ask you to stay forever and have a family with him. He wants you, no one else, and he’s determined to prove it to you this time. He doesn’t want to be apart from you any longer. It’s torture, the torture he has to end soon because it’s not just hurting him, it is hurting you too. 
You’re not sure how you got here, but with Matt Murdock planning to ask you to marry him, it doesn’t matter why certain things happen a certain way. They just do and it’s perfect that way. 
954 notes · View notes
captain-mj · 6 months
Note
You know what we discussed about vampire Ghost
I love you so much yeah I know exactly what we discussed
Soap continued to stare at Gaz. “You’re joking. This is a joke.”
Gaz nodded. "Look, I know how it sounds."
"'Do you? Are you sure?”
Gaz moved his shirt to expose his throat and soap could see the dozens of bites.
'Look, I shouldn’t be telling you. Its on a need to know basis, but if you’re going to pursue Ghost, I wanted you to know. Ever notice that he and Alex refuse to go into the sun with their skin showing?” Soap decided not to mention that he had already caught Ghost and had the bruises on his hips to prove it.
Instead, he turned to Alex. “This is insane. Tell him you’re not a vampire."
Alex stared at him
“Haud your wheesht!"
A moment of silence.
'’Keller, you can't be serious."
Alex and Gaz just stared.
Sorp tried to laugh it off as a joke until Alex took his thumb and exposed his fangs. Long, wicked and sharp. Perfectly concealed until Alex pressed the right spot in his gums. The skin of his mouth, specifically around his teeth and gums, had dark coloring like a corpse.
Alex made sure Soap got a good look at them, even releasing and pushing them back a few times, before letting go. “Ghost likes you. If you know, it makes things a lot easier. He can’t be all angsty about it.”
Soap continued to stare way after he pulled his hand away from his mouth. “Who else knows?”
Alex hummed. “I think you’re the last in the 141 to know. Several SpecGru members don’t know.”
Gaz quickly chipped in. “And we were eventually going to tell you when Ghost and Alex felt comfortable. I was told a little early because Alex and I started dating, but the original plan was after a few months for both of us. No one was going to keep it from you forever.”
Alex made a face that implied he could’ve dealt with Soap never knowing, but he seemed uncomfortable with the conversation in general. Soap doubted this was the easiest conversation to have.
“Ghost is… a vampire.”
“Yes.”
Soap thought about some of his Lieutenant’s habits. “Oh dear god.”
“Yeah, it’s a lot. If you need to sit down and talk, I can answer some questions.” Gaz offered. “Nothing too personal obviously, but some.”
Alex looked at Gaz with a distinct look of relief before quickly leaving the room. His hand lingered on Gaz and Soap told himself firmly that he imagined the claws there.
Soap took a deep breath. “They need to… from humans?”
“Yeah. Animal blood doesn’t actually work. The bagged stuff can get them by but it’s not ideal. It's why I let Alex eat off me."
Soap nodded. "Does it hurt?"
"A little. There's some kind of... I don't know. Toxin? Laswell said it's on the same level as codeine. Takes the pain away. Also a small bit of Draculin."
Soap laughed. "That's a little on the nose, don't you think?"
Gaz laughed as well. "Dude, that's the same thing in vampire bat spit. I didn't make up the fucking term."
Soap shook his head. "I'm gonna... lay down for a bit."
"Yeah, take your time, man." Gaz hit his shoulder and went in the same direction that Alex went in.
Soap finally let himself freak out a bit. His entire world just got turned upside down.
Vampires fucking exist.
And Simon was one.
Potentially.
The idea of Simon with his face covered in someone's blood, teeth on display, disturbed him quite a bit more than he was expecting.
Soap had no evidence that Ghost was... whatever Alex was. And maybe this was still some weird trick. It seemed really far, especially for Gaz, but still.
What better way to find out the truth than to ask the man himself? Maybe, once this stupid little event was over and Soap was reassured that Ghost was perfectly human, he could go back to normal. Maybe he'd convince Ghost to finally lift the mask up enough for them to have a proper kiss.
Soap "stalked" Ghost around base. The man knew he was there and seemed to be purposefully keeping busy around people. He would occasionally glance at him and bat his eyelashes, almost like he was teasing him.
Soap started to go through every single time he and Ghost had been outside together. He had to have been uncovered at some point. Once he had went through every memory, he realized that wasn't fair. Ghost stayed covered up. So he started thinking about Alex.
Yeah, he wore a lot of ghillie suits with masks, but clearly at some point... He worked in the middle east with Farah the majority of the time. There had to be something, come on.
Once. Alex had disappeared for a few hours after that and he had weird burns That he said were caused by the explosion. Yeah, he'd seen his face plenty and interacted with him plenty. Usually, In buildings. At night. When he was covered head to toe.
Soap's breathing started to come quicker but he was determined to keep his cool. Again, this was crazy.
Ghost finally went to his room and left it open for Soap to follow him. He turned around and sat on his bed. "Johnny. Need something?"
"Can I see your mouth?"
Ghost blinked at him. "Is that a new way to ask for a blowjob?"
"No. Like... your teeth."
Ghost stared before sitting up. "Price told you, didn't he? I told him I wanted to wait. Look I planned to tell you before we got closer. Ju-"
"We slept together."
Ghost looked at him with the giant brown eyes. "Trust me, you were never at risk of anything."
Soap frowned. "You're actually a vampire. This is insane."
Ghost stared at him. "Like I said. I'd never risk you. It's why I kept the mask on. I just... How do you tell someone that?"
"Sometime between fucking me and us flirting would've been nice." Soap said, backing up a little. Yes, rationally he knew Ghost wouldn't attack him. It wouldn't make sense for him and if Ghost really wanted to, he wouldn't do it now.
"Are you going to tell anyone?"
Soap paced around. "No. Of course not. Also, Price didn't tell me."
"Fucking Kyle."
Soap kept walking around the room, thinking to himself. "Give me proof."
Ghost's grip on the blanket got tighter. "What?"
"Proof. Show me."
Now it was Ghost's turn to think for a moment. "Alright." Slowly, he took off his mask.
Soap paused, staring. Unlike when he took his mask on in Los Almas, he had another mask underneath. It fit around his jaw and covered the bottom half of his face. It didn't hinder his movement at all, but it would keep him from biting (or kissing) freely.
“You’ll have to take it off of me if you want to see my fangs.”
Gently, he lifted his head to show the "lock". It was a simple one where you had to push a button and then twist it open. Ghost touched it and smoke came from his fingertips. Although it clearly hurt, Ghost held it for a second before pulling away. "Silver. Can't get through it. I usually have Price take it off of me when I'm eating. Or whoever I'm feeding from.”
Soap nodded. "You feed off people often?" He didn’t want to think about it. He especially did not walk to think of what it would feel like to unmask Ghost. It felt like too much. Too intimate but too sterile. It casted Ghost in a very animalistic light that Soap couldn’t wrap his brain around.
Ghost nodded. "Any time I can. Bagged stuff... is awful. I'd rather get another hook through my ribs then drink the stuff, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I keep the mask because I’m… newer. Still always at risk of going feral.” He looked at Soap. "I haven't lied to you about anything. Never liked lying."
Soap glared at him. "Not telling me something you'd know I want to know is lying by omission."
Ghost looked ashamed. "I'm sorry. I didn't plan on us going far until I told you just... things happened."
Soap felt a lot of feelings. On one hand, yeah. Ghost was secretive. This wasn't exactly unheard of for him. He'd hidden his face for weeks. Most people had known him for months or even years and not seen his face. Soap was definitely privileged in that aspect.
But... this was... well... A lot. Soap thought if he could hear Ghost's backstory full of betrayal and being buried alive, he could handle anything. This was just...
Too much.
The idea of Ghost sinking those fangs into someone wasn't something he liked thinking about. Or being feral. Animalistic and dangerous.
This did explain why Ghost was so cold.
"Johnny..." Ghost spoke up. "If you want to pretend this never happened, I'd understand. I'd never want to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm sorry. This is... It's just a lot."
Ghost nodded and he looked... so understanding. "like I said. I never want to make you uncomfortable. If you'd prefer we stick to a more professional relationship for a bit, I-"
"Yes. Professional. I think it's best our relationship stays that way." Soap watched it in real time. The initial moment of thinking there was more coming. Waiting for the "for now" that wasn't going to come. Simon's eyes were so sad. So convincing.
Then Ghost snapped into place. "Understood, sergeant. I think it's best you leave my room. I need to turn into a bat and hang from the ceiling." He laughed, brushing Soap off like it was nothing.
Soap hadn't expected begging or pleading for him to change his mind, but the cold acceptance that Ghost gave him hurt his chest. "Simon I'-"
"That's not how you talk to a superior officer." Ghost cut him off, staring down at him. He slid his tac gear off. "Now, like I said, leave my room."
Soap nodded, backing off. He went to his room and sketched until lights out.
In the morning, he studiously ignored that Ghost didn't text him Morning like he had for the past four months. There wasn't even a skull emoji to indicate that Ghost had slept bad and didn't want to leave bed.
He ate breakfast with Gaz and Price, staying quiet.
Price sipped his tea. "I see you're taking this better than Gaz did."
Gaz looked betrayed but that just made Price laugh. "Look, it was a crazy thing to find out okay??"
Soap hummed. "What did you do?"
"Lock myself in my room for a while. I was... I don't know. Paranoid I guess. I thought they'd eat me now that I knew or that I'd discover another one that wasn't part of my team I eventually got over it though. It eventually gets easier."
"Glad to hear that."
It didn't feel like it was getting better.
Every time Soap saw Ghost, he imagined him draining someone and he got sick. He found it hard to be on missions with him and it was obvious to everyone around them.
Gaz confronted him, looking spitting mad. "Are you serious? I told you because I... I thought you'd want to know. I did not want you to do this."
Soap sighed. "Look, I'm sorry it just... freaks me out okay?"
"You're not squeamish about anything."
"Eating someone alive is different than a dead body."
Gaz looked at him and shook his head. "Oh well. At least you found out before you and Ghost did anything."
"...So about that."
Gaz looked horrified. ''Soap..."
"Don't worry. We'll stick to being a one night stand and everything will be fine."
Gaz rubbed his face. He looked at him for a moment and then looked away. "Alright, Soap. If you think you got it handled, I'll believe. I just... I don't want anyone getting any feelings hurt."
"Don't worry. I doubt this is bothering Ghost very much."
Ghost was doing a great job of hiding everything from everyone.
Except Alex and Alejandro, who got to hear his stilted and barely audible explanation of what happened. It hurt. A lot. But it was fine. Perfectly fine.
Ghost tried not to look at Soap when he could help it. It hurt his chest.
Soap had agreed to go to Los Almas. They needed some assistance with the cartel now that Valeria had escaped. He jumped at the opportunity to get away and just… clear his thoughts.
Alejandro and Rodolfo were excited to see him. Soap felt nice, seeing both of them. It had just started to get dark but the last rays on sunshine didn’t seem to bother either of them.
He went with them, talking about what happened without giving away what he knew. Both of them kept glancing at them though, this knowing look in their eyes.
So much for clearing his head.
Rodolfo spoke up first. “We know about the vampires on your team. Price has To disclose them to people he’s working with.”
Alejandro nodded, tapping his fingers. “So if you want to talk about that.”
“I hate the idea of Ghost covered in someone’s blood. It’s…”
Revolting? Horrible? Weirdly erotic in a way that made Soap’s Catholic guilt rear it’s head?
“Unsettling.”
Alejandro nodded. “I see. I’m sure Ghost will be fine. He has a few centuries to forget you exist.” He smiled, like that was supposed to cheer Soap up. Instead, it sent such a sharp pain through Soap He almost doubled over.
Soap focused back on the mission at hand which was helping them clean out Cartel members.
One night, as he was coming back, he decided to stop by Rudy’s bedroom. It was right next to Alejandro’s quarters. He didn’t knock, just peaked in, that way if Rodolfo was asleep, he could just silently leave.
Rodolfo most certainly was not asleep. He was down to just his pants with his shoes and shirt neatly put away.
And Alejandro was there. Digging his fangs into him.
Soap froze and watched, something compelling him to.
Alejandro held Rudy with such a gentleness. Like he was a prized possession. He pulled his fangs out and Soap could see Rodolfo’s back arch when he did. Heard the tiny muffled gasp before Alejandro kissed him softly.
He spoke in Spanish, the only thing Soap understood was “my moon”. Alejandro dipped his head and started to drink. He didn’t make a sound. In his head, Soap had expected Moans or grunts, but like a proper predator, there was nothing but the sounds it drew out of Rodolfo.
Carefully, very gently, Alejandro’s hand slid down his back as he cupped it closer. He pulled away and put their foreheads together, a bead of blood running down. Rodolfo gathered it on his thumb and Alejandro ran his tongue over it.
“Need more?” Rodolfo asked in a soft voice and Soap was glad they were using words they taught him in Spanish so he could keep up.
Alejandro shook his head and held his hand against the wound. “No. Sorry I think I cut a little deep.”
“It’s okay. Not feeling dizzy.” Rodolfo reassured, cupping Alejandro’s face. They kissed again, so loving and intimate. Something there that Soap wasn’t getting.
He closed the door and just went back to his own room, not understanding why he was tearing up. Why his nose burned.
Soap reimagined the bloody scene of Ghost He had been imagining for weeks now. Instead, it was a bit more like what he just saw and he… felt he may have made a mistake.
Soap laid in bed, imagining Ghost cradling him, not some random person, the same way. Biting him carefully. Holding him together. It shook him, just how much he did want that. How much the idea excited him.
Taking into account time zones, he texted Ghost a good morning that was read and ignored. He started doing it consistently, trying to get Ghost’s attention. Ghost did send a message back. Just a simple skull emoji but it gave Soap so much relief to see.
The two continued to talk through the rest of Soap's stay in Los Almas and by the time he got the go ahead to go back to their normal base, he'd say they were on good speaking terms.
Soap felt all of the hair on his neck stand on end the moment Ghost's attention turned towards him for the first time in two weeks. He looked the exact same way he did when they first met. Not a single change.
Things melted away. Somehow, they ended up right where they were the day before Gaz told him all of this. His chest to the wall, Ghost feeling him up with his gloves.
"Simon." Soap said softly and Ghost stopped immediately, putting his forehead against Soap's shoulders.
"Johnny." He sounded like he was panting. "Should I stop?"
"I want you to bite me."
Ghost's fingers sank into the flesh of Soap's hips. "What?"
Soap scrambled to get his shirt off. "Bite me. Right here." He framed his throat.
Ghost paused, looking confused and Soap pushed his balaclava up. "I was thinking about it. You eating someone. I discredited you. I know you're not a monster, Lt. I'm sorry." He looked at the muzzle that kept him in place. It finally got through to Soap how little trust Ghost must have in himself to do this to himself willing. As well as how much trust he had to put in those around him to help him out of it. While Ghost could probably undo the lock himself, it clearly hurt even through gloves. Soap gently undid the little lock and then pulled it off of him, finally seeing Ghost's lips again. And the two fangs that decided they wanted to be seen as well where they almost pierced his bottom lip. "I was so upset at the idea of you biting someone else. That was my problem."
"You almost sound jealous."
Was that it? Definitely felt like part of it. Judging by the way Ghost was sniffing at his veins, Soap hoped imagined he hadn't fed off a person in a while. His tongue flicked out, nice and cold.
Ghost pulled his balaclava the rest of the way off and moved the muzzle to be around his throat instead. He kissed at the pulse point, pressing in tight. "Are you sure? You don't have to I promise" Despite his words, he was licking at the place he wanted to bite desperately as if to break the skin with just his tongue.
"Yes. Please. I-"
Gaz was full of shit.
It did hurt. The dull ache almost making Soap regret it.
Until Ghost wrapped his arms around him and picked him up. He didn't keep his teeth in long, quickly switching to sucking on the wound he made.
Soap buried his fingers in his hair and gasped softly, feeling pleasure spark through his veins. His legs were dangling so he moved to wrapping them around Ghost's waist. He felt Ghost's hard stomach against the bulge in his pants and nearly came like this.
The feeling of it all. It felt rapturous. So close to heaven. His stomach started to tense and his legs shake.
Ghost pulled away far too soon and Soap tugged him up for a quick kiss. It tasted a little too much of iron but the starry gaze he got from Ghost made it more than worth it. He gently pushed him back to his throat and Ghost happily continued to drink now that he had permission. His tongue lapped at the wound to keep the blood flowing.
He found himself liking this idea. That he was the one that Ghost ate from. Keeping him well fed.
The biting didn’t hurt as it went on. Instead it just felt good.
Ghost’s hand slid into Soap's pants before getting frustrated and simply tearing them to get what he wanted. He ran his hands up and down Soap's cock as he continued his meal.
Right as Soap started to feel dizzy, Ghost sped his hand up and he came so hard his vision turned dark. He whimpered and felt himself hit the bed, immediately finding himself missing Ghost’s hands holding him up. If he had the brain power to do so, he'd ask for Ghost to fuck him right then and there, but he couldn't formulate the words. Ghost bandaged and cleaned him before taking care of himself, which meant Soap was conscious enough to grab Ghost's belt loops and make him sit there for him to see instead of hiding in the bathroom.
Blood coated his mouth and down his chest, it seemed Ghost was a rather messy eater, but he was hot. So hot. He rutted into his blood soaked hand, chanting Soap's name over and over again. His face had more color in it than Soap had ever seen and it was downright gorgeous. Soap would let him drink from him again just to see that.
Ghost seemed to be having a bit of a problem, rutting faster and faster but getting no where. His frustration was leaking out and his eyes rolled back, body tensing but not letting him release. He let out a little growl of frustration that broke off into more of a whimper.
Soap squirmed over And, after wiping the blood off of his cock because he wasn’t prepared to go quite that far, sank down. He only managed to bob his head twice.
Ghost came with a harsh groan, head tilting slightly away.
"Happy now?"
"Aye."
"Fucking hell." Ghost grumbled at him before fixing his pants. He looked embarrassed.
"Simon."
"Johnny."
"Stay the night."
Ghost paused the looking for his mask. "You sure that's a good idea?"
"Aye."
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