#i think the sapphics were relating too hard but honestly same
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twitter is distracting cause i keep saving tweets to draw... anyway, this is MakoHaru to me 🤭
(Bonus: big sis is here to help....?)
#persona 5#persona 5 royal#ca3 art#makoto niijima#haru okumura#comic#makoharu#??#QueenNoir#okujima#this ship is so hard to tag#also this got WAY too popular on twitter for some reason... got 33k likes and im still in shock why and how#i think the sapphics were relating too hard but honestly same#sae niijima#kinda salty it got so popular cause its now my most popular tweet and i low key half assed this comic 😭 but glad ppl thought it was funny
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Re-reading Ao no Flag cause I'm buying the physical volumes, so some thoughts specifically about Masumi's ending
So in the ending Masumi marries a man, and as a bi woman I have some thoughts about that, positive and negative. Let's start with the positive
I saw some comments from people saying its not explicit that she's bisexual or that clearly her husband is a beard and she got a sad closeted ending. I was confused about these comments tbh, I believe that it's clearly implied she's bi because of this page:
Her husband mentions being jealous of both men and women. And then he basically says "she chose a person, not a gender" which is LITERALLY the message bi people have been trying to get other people to understand forever! Even the comment about her "not belonging to either side" is something any bi person can relate to.
Also he's talking with Touma here, and asks him if he "gets it" regarding being jealous of men and women, and Touma responds in the affirmative("Really? You too?") because he's also married to a bi person(Taichi). Just a tiny thing that only makes sense when you learn that Touma is the POV character lol
It's unfortunately a common trope in Japan that sapphic relationships among young girls are not taken seriously and are treated as just a silly playful phase they go through and eventually grow out of. When I saw Masumi ended with a man, I winced, bracing myself for this scenario. However, her husband clearly acknowledges her attraction to women and her bisexuality by saying she didn't "choose a side", she chose him. It's rare to see such a clear messaging of bisexuality in manga, so this dialogue was honestly a very pleasant surprise to me.
Now the negative. I was happy about this sure, but it was also a bit awkward and hard to accept this happening in the very last chapter when for the entirety of the series, Masumi was coded as a lesbian. In real life no one would bat an eye at Masumi, someone who identifies as lesbian and previously only liked women could discover later she's actually bisexual and anyone who judged her for that would be an idiot, same thing if it was the opposite. But this is fiction, and what you portray and HOW you portray it matters.
One of the main evidences of her lesbian coding is that all her relationships with boys in high school fail, even though they're "perfect boyfriends". I guess you could interpret this as, obviously she couldn't force herself to like these boys regardless of gender while she was still in love with Futaba, but that's me making sense of it retroactively, the story doesn't make it clear and "lets you believe" she's a lesbian, because why wouldn't you, that's a pretty common way of coding it.
Another thing is Masumi's conversation with Akiko, where Masumi reveals that her internal struggles come from the fact that she wants to fit in heteronormative society because things would be easier that way. Her happiness comes from the people she loves being happy and not worried about her, which they would be if she "went against" society. So seeing her end up with a man can be uncomfortable as it can be seen as her making the choice to fit in with society.
SO YEAH I have conflicting feelings about this, I thint it definitely could have been handled better. I think the ending was very clear about her being bisexual and I like that, but there's also definitely a conversation to be had about lesbian erasure regarding how her arc was handled, and I understand the feelings of those who were upset and frustrated by it.
Sorry if I forgot anything lol and feel free to add any comments if you have them
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You're so sweet, how can anyone not like listening to you talk about the things you love? The passion you have is so cool, I could honestly pay to hear you talk about this! Who's your favorite Buffy character? And you said you were getting a tattoo, what of? Tattoos are really cool, I'm just too afraid to get one! - Dagger
Ahhh, thank you! :0 That's so nice of you!
Uh, okay, favourite character is a tough one! Mainly because it's hard to decide who I like most!
I guess starting with Buffy, she's the main character, so it's easier to relate to her. I always wanted to be like her as a child, I remember telling all of my friends that I was going to be the Slayer one day, and I was going to keep everyone safe from the vampires! I'd even carry around makeshift stakes (sticks) and stuff like that! I also think that, now that I know more, I really find myself emotionally attaching to her. Especially when you consider how her character handles things, she wasn't perfect, and it's really interesting when you have a protagonist to relate to who sometimes pushes her friends away, and who reacts in sometimes harmful ways. (Also, the way that the show handles her grief is something really interesting and kinda relatable.)
But then, Willow was probably one of the first Sapphic characters that I'd seen in a show, and I still strongly enjoy her character arc. Especially the way that towards the end, her arc heavily covers addiction in a way that feels very realistic and shows everything from a relapse to the importance of having friends who help vs harm you (like Buffy helping her with her addiction, and Amy harming her). I honestly really think that Willow, as a character, is really cool!
Spike is another favourite, for no reason other than his humour is really good. And yeah, for the purpose of this argument, I'm going to ignore the problematic aspects of his character (because lack of consent and uh,,, general age gaps in his relationship with Buffy don't make for good favourite character conversation, but they're also another topic that I like discussing). But basically, I thought he was funny when I was younger, and I find him a lot funnier now than I'm older and can understand some of his quips that were previously lost on me.
I guess the most obvious favourite though, would be Giles. And I could make all of the therapy jokes about daddy issues and everything, but honestly? He's always been the character I've found most interesting. I love dad characters, and I love the way that he clearly cares for the ragtag group that he adopted. I like the way that he had flaws, and the whole Ripper deal was really fun (the episode where they eat the band candy is one of my favourites for a reason), so I'd say overall, Giles takes the cake.
The main reason why I'd say Giles is just,,, every rewatch, and everytime I think about Buffy, he's the character I enjoy seeing the most. I remember watching the episode where Buffy can hear everyone's thoughts, and she collapses, and that was one of my favourites for a while. (Also, definitely the source of a little bit of paranoia, but that's neither here nor there.)
Onto the other question, a shorter answer, but that doesn't mean I'm not excited to talk about it: The tattoo.
So basically, I've been kinda open in the past about being a victim of abuse, and while I don't really talk about why, I can say that one quote always stuck with me, from being a small child to now, and in 2016, I designed a tattoo, something simple that I could get, and I have my appointment scheduled for November!
It's the quote "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it", and I plan to have a stake over my heart, to symbolize protection from 'vampires' (or otherwise known as abusive assholes). It's a very meaningful quote, and an important tattoo design, and I can't wait to finally have it on my body!
(At the same session, I'll also be getting the Master Sword from Zelda haha)
Anyway, thank you for your asks, it means a bunch to me that you wanna hear what I have to say! :D
#anon#i've enjoyed getting to ramble#if you have anymore questions feel free to throw them at me#no pressure though
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Heyyy, I honestly love your writing and was wondering can we have more Clara x reader, please??
what if I told you I have an entire E-rated mini-series half done for clara x reader set in an original world???
but yes, always, always yes for her.
pairing: clara (v) x f!reader
wc: 1.3k+
verse: coa; post the hunt, pre-john's wedding
notes: reader is part of the continental staff
“You’re back.”
Words slip past your lips without you meaning to say them; more of a strained exclamation of surprise than a casual greeting.
The woman halts in her tracks (is she limping?) and rotates her neck. Lips pressed in a bloodless line, the Vipress’ wan expression slices into you like a dull knife. Her chestnut hair hangs limp and soggy with water around her face. Her jaw rigid and her body tense.
Dark eyes squint at you, scanning, and you note the way her deft fingers twitch against her thigh, fighting back an impulse to reach for a weapon. You heard about the Hunt. Heard about all the awful things she was put through before eventually settling with Camorra. There were rumours about their protection being extended towards her. Some say she slept her way into it, namely through Santino D’Antonio who you have to admit has an intense interest in her. Others say she agreed to be Giovanni’s spy, others believed it was all a ploy by Viggo Tarasov to unleash a snake inside the Italian ranks.
Truth is you don’t believe any rumours you’ve heard about her. You recall a woman who used to shadow John Wick with a grin sharper than her blades. But she never struck you as conniving or cruel. She’d been… kind. Kinder than most people you’ve dealt with. In such subtle, unexpected ways. Gratitude few extend for those beneath them, inquiring about your day, or idle conversation. You often wondered if she was lonely. As lonely as you. If that’s why she was so kind.
Everyone wears a mask, but the Vipress always allowed you to see more. Or used to.
A permanent cloud of restless misery seems to hang over her since her ill-fated trip to Tokyo—another pool of rumours swirling around that particular event—and you can’t recall seeing a single smile since.
You miss it. Crinkled eyes and scrunched nose. Rare but potent joy. Infectious in its intensity. She…
Swallowing, you venture closer, risking a soft, “Are you injured?”
Her black clothes drip with water but you don’t comment on the steadily growing pool of water beneath her feet. Her expression doesn’t so much as shift. Stony and untrusting.
“Is Winston in?”
Rough words, her voice scratchy with tension. Her eyes scan briefly behind you, anticipating a danger she shouldn’t. You doubt Winston would ever allow anyone to disobey the Continental rules, much less when in relation to her.
“No, he…” you trail off, still staring at her. “He has your room key. I’m afraid you can’t get in until he returns. You need a change of clothes. I have some spares if you like? You’ll catch a cold otherwise. You’re soaked to the bone.”
A mirthless, half-smile crosses her face, twisting her expression into a pained grimace you hate. She doesn’t suit it. When was she bled of her fiery, snarky humour you always admired? Found secretly hilarious?
“Figures,” she mutters under her breath, glancing behind herself. An empty hallway greets her but you note how her shoulders loosen slightly, forcing a soft sigh out of her lungs. “Sure. I appreciate it.”
Giving her a weak smile, you gesture for her to follow after you. You count to five before her light footsteps register behind you. Your skin tingles as you walk, feeling her intent stare at the back of your neck. Your heels make it even harder to keep an even gait but you succeed. Charon taught you better than that.
Spine straight, you walk proudly ahead, one of the deadliest women in this city trailing after you. Questions bubble in your chest, tingling your tongue but you bite your cheek to keep them locked away. Vipress looks no better than a caged animal right now—the last thing you want to do is add to her troubled, exhausted state.
It’s not long before you reach the staff wing, unlocking the spare laundry room connecting with your new office. Your heels click while you move across the space, pulling out a new pair of jeans, a jumper and undergarments. Simple, standard clothes Continental provides free of charge to its patrons in case their previous clothes are destroyed beyond repair.
You can’t hear her while you shuffle around, but you certainly feel her presence. Prey is always aware of predators even if they can’t see them.
“You’re no longer working in housekeeping,” she speaks suddenly, a question there.
You nearly jump out of your skin, tightening your hold on the bundle of garments in your hands. Inhaling deeply, you turn to her with a slight smile, a little frail around the edges but present all the same.
The assassin leans against the wall opposite to you, bright fluorescent illuminating her features, giving her a near gaunt appearance. When did she lose so much weight? Her usually soft freckles stand stark against her too pale skin.
“I got a raise,” you tell her, pride colouring your voice and you move in her direction with a shy smile. “Just last week.”
Her eyebrows quirk, searching over your new attire of tailored dress pants, white shirt and polished heels.
“I told you, didn’t I?” she says after a pause, and you falter under her piercing stare.
Yes. Yes, she did. She told you repeatedly it’s only a matter of time before you get a raise. She thought you were a great worker and oftentimes joked about putting in a good word to Winston about you. You always wrote off her words as nothing more than jokes, meaningless conversations you have with someone when you want to be polite. John Wick certainly never got involved in your banter. His dark eyes unfailingly trailed after her smiles and laughs instead.
You could understand his appreciation, his secret hoarding of those rare instances. He wanted something—someone—he couldn’t afford to have. Couldn’t permit himself to reach for.
Staring at the Vipress you think you understand him better than you would care to admit.
She’s beautiful in a way a wild flame is beautiful. Get too close and you know you will suffer for it. But you want to.
God, you really do. Crave her in secret because… well. What are you? What can you give to a woman like her? When she holds the interest of so many above your stature. The things they say she did during the Hunt. People who are dead because of her.
She’s one of the most horrible people alive.
Yet her smiles are more blinding than the sun, and you selfishly want every single one of them.
“Yes, you did,” you agree weakly, holding out the bundle of clothes to her.
Her hands are cold when they touch yours but a tingle rushes up your spine all the same. Electric current hums under your skin when her guarded eyes do another searching sweep over your expression.
“You know my sizes?”
Your heart quivers in your chest, unsure how to proceed. Does she think you stranger, wrong, to have remembered such a thing?
“I… your laundry,” you splutter, then exhale, calming yourself to give her a steadier, “When you lived here. The dry cleaner. I… sorry, I realise this might be uncomfortable for you.”
Her hazel eyes drag over you again, hard and unyielding. Your breaths slow when she takes a few steps closer—close enough for you to scent the flowers, herbs and soil that forever seem to cling to her smooth skin. You’ve never wanted to nuzzle into someone’s neck more, feel their warmth beneath your lips. Taste and savour the exquisite familiarity of someone’s very being.
“My sizes have changed,” she says and you tell yourself you imagined the slight smile you glimpse for a split second. “But you’re welcome to learn them again.”
She brushes past you—flowers and poison and death—and you force yourself to breath, ignoring the heat crawling up your neck.
an: she. that's it - that's the message. but thank you so much for asking for her!!! I think Clara deserves a soft sapphic romance, as a treat.
#oc x you#oc x character#oc x reader#original character x reader#c: clara#john wick oc#wlw writing#fic: children of ares
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Celebrating Pride with a long, deeply navel-gazing, and meandering analysis of my own orientation, labels, and why I like the word “queer.” No r/e..blog/s, plz and thank you.
I’ve known I was bisexual for a while, though I’ve been quiet about it for years due to an impressive myriad of anxieties and self-hating thinking patterns. I was out online for a while before I was out to anyone I knew in real life. Actually, it was probably a number of online friends becoming real-life friends that eased the transition between ‘out on my secret accounts no one I know in real life knows I have’ to where I am now, which is apparently ‘slowly trying to gaslight my acquaintances into thinking I’ve been out this whole time and they just didn’t notice.’
Over the past few years I’ve also wondered if I might or might not be somewhere in the gray-aro/ace range. I’ve had a number of aro and/or ace friends and mutuals talk to me about experiences that gave me some really strong, relatable ‘oh, it me’ moments. At the same time, I know I’m not full-on ace. I definitely experience attraction to other people, including strangers, it just seems like I do it less than most people. So okay. Gray-ace exists as a label. But then I’m led to thoughts like:
How much attraction is Enough to be allosexual instead of gray-ace? How can you TELL?
What even are romantic feelings if they aren’t just loving someone while being attracted to them? If I don’t understand that does it mean I’m aromantic, or does it just mean feelings are complicated and hard to nail down?
I haven’t dated anyone in a very long time and I’m honestly okay with that in a way it seems like most people wouldn’t be. Does that mean I’m gray-ace or is it just that society makes people place too much importance on romantic relationships and I’m way more chill about it than most?
Okay but I DO want a romantic/sexual partner. I’m definitely not going crazy for the lack of one, but it would be nice. Especially now that the idea of maybe dating a girl is starting to feel like something that might actually be an option and not so impossibly intimidating as to exist in the realm of pure fantasy. So even if I do exist somewhere in the gray area, does it matter?
If I’d known about Asexuality when I was a teenager would my dumb little queer journey have been different in any way?
Meanwhile the conservative senator that lives in the back of my head just yells dumb shit at me about having to ‘pick’ being bi/pan or under the ace umbrella and tells me I’m being a greedy special snowflake and making up my own feelings, blah, blah, blah. That guy’s a real unhelpful asshole when it comes to any level of self-examination.
Even if some Deity Of Supreme Objective Queer Understanding came down from above and told me I belonged under the aro/ace umbrella, I’m not sure it’s a label I’d actually apply to myself. Mainly because I believe labels are best seen in terms of their utility.
For example: I know someone who spent years identifying as a lesbian because 90% of her crushes were on other women and they were the only people she really wanted to date, though she was occasionally attracted to men as well. She later started identifying as bisexual, not because who she was attracted to had changed, but out of backlash against biphobia she’d encountered and pride in her own bisexuality.
You could argue about what her sexuality “really” was or is. (I mean, it’d be rude as hell, but you could.) But ultimately it doesn’t matter because she used the label that worked for her until another label worked better, and that’s what labels are for. To help you move through and interact with the world.
I know people for whom the label of asexual was MASSIVELY liberating and I can absolutely understand why. I know there are some people for whom highly specific labels about their orientation and/or gender give them a feeling of solidity and identity and community and pride, and that is freaking wonderful. For me personally, the more specific a label is, the more I feel like I’m trying to pin down something about myself that is inherently nebulous and amorphous.
I would rather identify as bi/pan (terms I use interchangeably, sometimes depending on what social circle I’m in) than gray-aro/ace bi/pan (or something similar.) Partly because a label that specific gives me nervous tummy, partly because just like my colleague who identified as a lesbian because she wanted to date women, I think bi/pan sends the most accurate message about who I might be interested in dating.
“Queer” is a term I’m even more comfortable with. The vague amorphous “idk but not straight” vibe of it encompasses everything I feel super deeply, and I think a cis woman who identifies as “queer” still reads as “sapphic in some way” which is the main point I’d like to get across to strangers. “Queer” is liberating to me because it encompasses the feeling of ‘listen, who even knows what sexuality is, I know what I like when I see it and that’s enough, leave me alone with your attempts to define this shit” that I feel deep in my bones at all times.
Honestly in a weird way learning about asexuality and having some close friends who fall under that umbrella has made the idea of having a romantic/sexual partner more appealing to me because it’s eased a lot of the internal pressure to have one. Getting the idea that it isn’t compulsory into my head, that it isn’t a required part of being a healthy adult and therefore only something you should have because you want to have it actually made me go “oh. I think I do want that. Now that I know that not wanting it is a valid option.”
It’s not something I feel incomplete without, not something I’ll go crazy if I don’t have. It’s like the idea of travel -- I would really like to travel. I think it would be nice. But I’m not sitting at home weeping and feeling unfulfilled just because I’m not traveling right now.
I’m fine if I don’t. Still. I’d like to travel sometime.
Especially since. . . to be frank the idea that I might soon be medicated for something that’s been consuming an enormous amount of my mental energy my entire life makes me feel like I might actually get my life together enough that I have the brainspace to “travel.”
Either way, I’m a goddamned thirty-something adult with the brain of a baby queer just barely starting to accept herself and that’s something I’m going to have to live with.
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EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE 150 QUESTIONS
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?My most recent ex
2. Are you outgoing or shy?I’d say I’m pretty outgoing
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Mainly my dad, 2 more weeks!! I’m super excited
4. Are you easy to get along with?I think so? I talk a lot so I probably get annoying but then again there’s always a conversation so 🤷🏻♀️
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I think so
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?People with positive energies, cute smiles, and nice hearts
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Who knows man, I’m pretty emotionally damaged though. I have a lot of baggage.
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?My dad, I miss him.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Nope.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Faith
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“It just really grinds my gears”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?-down 4 u by blackbear-gorgeous by mansionz-surprise party by hoodie allen -ivy by frank ocean-dead roses by blackbear (I love blackbear ok I’m sorry his voice just makes me happy and I can relate with the whole people screwing you over aesthetic)
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Uhhh yes
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?I believe in miracles, but I don’t believe in luck bc I think everything happens for a reason
15. What good thing happened this summer?Pride, I learned a lot about myself, and I got to be in a cool show with some cool people
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?No comment next question pls
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?I think there’s gotta be, the universe is just too big dude.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?No, but funny story I literally only thought he was cool bc we bonded over Chris brown and Halloween town and i was in like 1st grade. Honestly my first REAL crush on a girl who was my best friend and I thought she was an angel tbh
19. Do you like bubble baths?Yup, but I have to at least wash off my body before I take a bath bc I don’t like soaking in my own dirt ya feel
20. Do you like your neighbors?I don’t really know them, one of them is this kinda cool old guy though. He picks up twigs and leaves every morning, pretty dope dude if you ask me.
21. What are you bad habits?I get attached to easily, but I also distance myself a lot when people get to close bc I have trust issues. Like whenever anyone gets too close I freak out bc I don’t know how to handle emotions and I always try to break up with them before they hurt me.
22. Where would you like to travel?I wanna go to the red wood forest in Cali and I’d like to go somewhere where there’s a black sand beach bc I think those are pretty cool.
23. Do you have trust issues?I have major trust issues wdym
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Sleeping
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?The fact it doesn’t work properly is kind of a bummer and it pisses me off. Look wise, I’m not too fond of my nose tbh. It’s kinda big and triangular and I used to think I looked like phineas.
26. What do you do when you wake up?On school days I normally try to wait a minute so I can see how much feeling I have in my legs before I stand up. Sometimes I fall over or whatever but it’s cool. On week ends and days I have doctors appointments I sleep in and then I lay in bed for like 30 mins to an hour and do stuff on my phone.
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?I don’t really care tbh
28. Who are you most comfortable around?My closest friends
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Yeah
30. Do you ever want to get married?Yup
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?My hair is long enough for like 3 ponytails
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?Ellen page and missy peregrym
33. Spell your name with your chin.Wo fMy name is Alex, but I tried
34. Do you play sports? What sports?I used to play softball and I was in love with it, but then I quit for theatre and music.
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?Tv
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?I normally tell people, but sometimes I don’t
37. What do you say during awkward silences?I normally make a stupid joke
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Uhhhhh next question plS
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?target and thrift stores. Especially value villages, I always find cool stuff at value village.
40. What do you want to do after high school?I’m gonna go to college, I recently have been considering doing pre med and then going to medical school but who knows 🤷🏻♀️
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I think some people do, and I think some people have to prove that they deserve a second chance, but then there are people that don’t deserve even a first chance let alone a second chance.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I’m either thinking or I’m trying to keep my mouth shut so I don’t say something mean
43. Do you smile at strangers?I always smile when I make eye contact
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Space my dude
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Sometimes I don’t get out of bed tbh, like today I didn’t get out of bed except to go to the bathroom and to take a shower. Most of the time it’s just bc of school
46. What are you paranoid about?Everything
47. Have you ever been high?Nope
48. Have you ever been drunk?Nope
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Not that I know of
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?It’s rainbow tie dye
51. Ever wished you were someone else?Sometimes, but most of the time I’m happy in my own body
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?I wish I could learn to trust people better and let them in. I tend to isolate myself a lot, even from the people in my house because I’ve been hurt so much that it’s hard to trust people tbh
53. Favourite makeup brand?I really love Anastasia Beverly Hills but I also love tarte and kat von d 🤷🏻♀️
54. Favourite store?Target
55. Favourite blog?I have a couple, @thequeerexpoditionist @sapphic-sage @brianniscute and all of the lesbian blogs
56. Favourite colour?Yellow
57. Favourite food? Noodles
58. Last thing you ate?A ho ho bc I’m a ho ho
59. First thing you ate this morning?I had pancakes
60. Ever won a competition? For what?I won some tournaments in softball, does that count?
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope I’m a good noodle
62. Been arrested? For what?Never
63. Ever been in love? Yeah
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?It was in a church parking lot and I bumped teeth with the guy and it was awkward, shortly after I broke up with him for my first girlfriend oops
65. Are you hungry right now?Not really
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I don’t really have a lot of tumblr friends tbh
67. Facebook or Twitter?Twitter bc I love the tea
68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope
70. Names of your bestfriends? Briann, faith, and Elizabeth
71. Craving something? What?I’m craving a cuddle buddy bc it’s cold and I just wanna lay on someone’s chest
72. What colour are your towels?They’re multi colored
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?Okay so I’m weird and I have like 5 pillows on my bed but when I go to sleep I don’t use any of them
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yeah don’t judge me
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Probably like 10-15 but a lot of them are in my closet (just like me)
75. Favourite animal?I really love dogs, they make me happy. I also really love cats though. I LOVE ALL ANIMALS HONESTLY
76. What colour is your underwear?It’s blue
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Swirl ;) just kidding I like vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Vanilla with strawberries in it
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?It’s grey and it has dogs on it
80. What colour pants?I’m wearing black shorts
81. Favourite tv show?The x files, but I’ve recently been watching the good doctor and it’s really good!
82. Favourite movie?Dead poets society orrrr perks of being a wallflower
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Mean girls what kind of question is that
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?I’ve never seen all of 21 jumpstreet so I guess mean girls
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Gretchen, I can relate to her anger
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Either the starfish, the puffer fish, or the little squid girl
87. First person you talked to today?Faith
88. Last person you talked to today?So far it’s been Faith
89. Name a person you hate?I don’t talk about him
90. Name a person you love?Briann!
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Not really?
92. In a fight with someone?I don’t think so
93. How many sweatpants do you have?Like 1 pair no joke
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many
95. Last movie you watched?THE NEW SAW MOVIE OMG
96. Favourite actress?Ellen page bc I have a crush on her
97. Favourite actor?Zachary Quinto bc I love him and he was great in Star Trek plus heS GAY
98. Do you tan a lot?I don’t tan, ever.
99. Have any pets?I have a dog named gizmo but he doesn’t love me as much as I love him :((
100. How are you feeling?Like crap, same as usual
101. Do you type fast?On my phone? Yes. On my laptop? No.
102. Do you regret anything from your past?I regret a lot of things, but ya gotta learn one way or another 🤷🏻♀️
103. Can you spell well?I think so
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?I guess so
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Yup
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Unfortunately I think so
107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yeah
108. What should you be doing?I should be writing an essay
109. Is something irritating you right now?Not really
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Yeah
111. Do you have trust issues?Um yeah I already answered this oneeeee
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I don’t even remember I try not to cry in front of people
113. What was your childhood nickname?I used to get called Grace in softball bc I always tripped over my own feet and I’d constantly get hurt lmao
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup thank god
115. Do you play the Wii?I haven’t played the wii in forever but I bet I’d still kick ass in wii tennis
116. Are you listening to music right now?Nope
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?I love chicken noodle soup bc I love noodles
118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes yes yes
119. Favourite book?Right now it’s probably diary of an oxygen thief, but looking for Alaska is still my all time fav
120. Are you afraid of the dark?Kinda I get The Spooks™
121. Are you mean?Sometimes I can be really mean, most of the time it isn’t intentional and I feel bad but sometimes it’s well deserved
122. Is cheating ever okay?Nope
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Probably not, I don’t own a pair of white shoes though
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Nah
125. Do you believe in true love?Yeah
126. Are you currently bored?Not really
127. What makes you happy?Coffee, genuine hugs, dogs, hiking, the way the sun feels on a chilly day, good grades, sleeping, ya know the usual stuff
128. Would you change your name?I used to hate my name, but now I think it’s pretty cool
129. What your zodiac sign?I’m a Gemini with a rising Scorpio
130. Do you like subway?Not really
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Next question
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Faith
133. Favourite lyrics right now?“And you give good head, make daddy real proud of you” bc the way blackbear says it is really cool and I wish someone would give me good head and call me daddy
134. Can you count to one million?Probably not lmao
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I’ve told a lot of dumb lies I think it’s a pretty human thing to do
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?I have to sleep with them open and I hate it bc I get really paranoid
137. How tall are you?I’m 5’6
138. Curly or Straight hair?I have straight hair but I think curly hair is really pretty
139. Brunette or Blonde?I have a thing for brunettes
140. Summer or Winter?Winter
141. Night or Day?I feel inclined to say night, but I like doing things during the day so idk
142. Favourite month?Used to be December but someone had to fuck it up for me so idk
143. Are you a vegetarian?No, I’m trying to be though
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?All chocolate, I don’t discriminate against chocolate
145. Tea or Coffee?Coffee, but I really love sweet iced tea
146. Was today a good day?Not really
147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers
148. What’s your favourite quote?“We’re all homos” - michael Scott
149. Do you believe in ghosts?Kinda yeah
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “But thanks to AA I had signed a new lease of life and I was determined to use it” -diary of an oxygen thief
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Your fun but painfully hard Charmed asks, as promised :) How would you rank all eight seasons of Charmed from your favorite to least favorite? How would you rank all four sisters from your personal favorite to least favorite - and why? Which were your favorite and least favorite romances of the series? Which sister relationships do you love most and least (e.g. Prue/Piper, Piper/Phoebe, Prue/Phoebe Piper/Paige, Phoebe/Paige...?) And what would you most want to change about the series?!
oooooooooooo these are great!!! ranking of all the seasons favorite to least favorite for me is: 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 4, 7, 8the first three are my favorite because i feel like the first three seasons were the most interesting and i reeeaaallly loved shannen doherty’s acting. due in part to her excellent acting and the writing of the first three seasons there was something vaguely more real about the first three seasons, vs. the rest where it kind of turns into supernatural soap opera (which i still love) and becomes a little more like fluff. still enjoyable but missing a certain grit. sister ranking: piper is my favorite because i love her and want to be like her the most, prue is my second favorite because i’m probably actually a lot more like her than i think (and we have the neurotic oldest sister thing in common!), and paige/phoebe are on equal footing with me because i relate to both of them in the same way - free-spirited, a little edgy (i relate to seasons 1-3 phoebe more than “grown up” phoebe in the later seasons) but even though i relate to them they’re not necessarily my favorite… but i still love them….prue & piper is my favorite sister relationship, hands down! shannen + holly are great friends in real life which really shows in their acting in the first three seasons.. honestly i felt like after shannen left, piper was never really able to recreate that same relationship and she just sort of became everyone’s mom which is part of why i don’t like the later seasons as much…. i love phoebe/paige because paige brings out the mentor in phoebe and phoebe/prue was always fun - they had a little animosity but i think they really bonded by the third season (though phoebe got over prue’s death way too easily in the fourth season, tbh..) piper & phoebe always had a good relationship that was fun to watch - in the first 3 seasons, she was the buffer from phoebe to prue and after prue left, piper and phoebe bonded as like sister-moms to paige, introducing her to the craft and that was fun to watch… piper/paige is probably my least favorite sister interaction because i feel like when paige came along, piper really became more of a curmudgeon and i LOVE piper as a mom, don’t get me wrong, but she acted like too much of a mom with paige, when the reality is that paige is an adult.. and it took a while for piper to kind of adapt to that. in some episodes/seasons/scenes she recognizes it, but in others, it sort of seems like a bit of lazy acting on holly’s part maybe? to treat paige like a baby…things i would most want to change about the series… oo… for one, make the setting true to san francisco LOL. you can’t just have a few shots of the golden gate bridge, some cable cars and ghirardelli and call it a day - that’s not all that SF is! i’ve lived here for a few years now and there’s only a few eps/scenes that really made me believe it was SF. the slum lord in season 5, and some of the buckland scenes could be in the financial district. the show doesn’t ever mention the east bay (oakland, berkeley, etc) or if it does, it’s an afterthought. but their house? the fact that they have a front yard and a sunroom???? unheard of in SF, especially wherever they are supposed to be located.. they made a reference to where that was supposed to be in the first season which was WAY off (somewhere near eddy/o’farrell… which is deep tenderloin and has ZERO manors… not a nice neighborhood like theirs) - and they kind of avoid mentioning any of the neighborhoods at all which is like a HUGE thing in SF. they never talk about the mission, nob hill, financial district, pacific heights, bayview district… etc… the show would have been a LOT more believable if they actually did some research and made the setting more realistic. also relating to setting… these are 4 total sisters (WICCAN sisters no less!!!!) in the bay area and not even ONE of them was at least a little bi???? the fuck?????? that was pretty ridiculous to me. also i got really sapphic vibes from phoebe, always. i understand the appeal of cole, but i think it would have been amazing if she had either a temporary or serious relationship with a woman after… a woman would have made phoebe feel way more appreciated and i think phoebe would have been really receptive to a relationship with that kind of love + mutual understanding.. but for real, the fact that not only did none of the sisters have any romantic relationships with women at any time, they also only had maybe a total of 3 lesbians featured on the show (and only ONE was a couple that it was explicitly mentioned they were together - oh and one of them dies.. shocking…) - that was really upsetting. this is san francisco, for fuck’s sake. there should have been a way more diverse character base - not just more lgbt characters, but more black, latino, lgbt and all those intersections.…speaking of diversity. there was a lot of racism in the show that watching it over and over again makes me pretty annoyed. a lot of the demons are always black, and really obnoxious tropes. like the witch doctor. the “tribal” demons. the demons that always die. and even the innocents that die first/quickest are always the non-white ones.. the bay area is a REALLY rich + racially diverse area, they really should have had more than (1) recurring black character (darryl.. and of course he was a cop.. smh) and they absolutely should have had recurring latino + asian characters. chinatown + japantown are HUGE parts of san francisco, and many parts of the bay area are almost exclusively asian or latino…. it’s pretty much unforgivable that they didn’t even really seem to try to incorporate non-white characters in the show in like a real, meaningful way. another thing they could have done better is ended the series at the 7th season, after they faked their deaths. the 8th season was pretty bad imo. lol. their fake alteregos were kinda fun but it was just so pointless… also as much as i love paige + rose mcgowan, i do wonder what the show would have been like if someone else was cast as paige… there was a confession on @charmedxconfessions once that i saw wondering what it would have been like if eliza dushku was cast as paige, and i admit that is an interesting thought. i’m not sure who i would pick, but it does make me wonder. rose is pretty and everything, but she’s really not the greatest actor, let’s be honest with ourselves here. lol. the first few eps in season 4 i think are the best example of this… she starts to get into it better in season 5, for sure, but… i wonder what it would have been like if they hired someone with more seasoned acting chops…. also with regards to paige.. her giving up her job made me sad, tbh. she did a lot of good work as a social worker and again with setting, it’s super unrealistic that any of them would go any amount of time without any kind of job. and if she had a good one like that, i think it was unrealistic that she would leave it? idk. i think it would have been interesting if she continued to keep her job and they could have delved into some of the problems of the city through that, too. (thus adding to the realism of the setting…) could have also been a good way to incorporate more interesting (and not white) recurring characters, too.the last season with paige’s relationship with henry… can we say.. SNOOZE. god that was such a boring, forced love plot. i actually like henry, but i really felt like that relationship was shoehorned in to give them all perfect husbands. same with coop. so boring. i’m not just saying this cus i think they should have dated women at some point, but like those relationships were literally so forced + boring. not only was the writing in the 8th season pretty weak, it seemed like those two romantic plots were a way to keep viewers interested. cheap tactics, imo. lastly!!!! (i’m almost done i swear) i REALLY wish they left things on good terms with shannen doherty, because the fact that they really never mentioned prue at all past the first few eps of the 4th season was really a shame. she was a HUGE part of their lives, obviously, as their oldest sister, and she was the most powerful witch for the first three seasons… the fact that they pretty much forgot about her entirely past the 4th season showed that they let their petty beefs control the show instead of caring about its integrity or fans.. like i’m sure i wouldn’t have liked shannen doherty in person much either (she’s a republican and from what i heard, it was her and alyssa milano’s political/personal differences that drove that wedge in the show) - but at some point you really need to just be professional. if you’re not doing it for the fans, who are you doing it for? it would have been good for them to either feature her in the last episode, or pan to a photo of her when piper/leo were walking up the stairs.. everytime i watch that i get so upset. it’s disrespectful to prue’s memory, and she deserved better.. ok… i think that’s it…. though i could seriously go on forever LOL. i love this show to death but i’m very acutely aware of all the issues this show has especially since i watch it literally every day lol… still love it… but yeah if they ever do a remake i have SUGGESTIONS…!!! hehEDIT: oh i just realized you asked about romances too! i kind of addressed it in my things i would change about the series answer... but yeah uh piper+leo are my favorite and i do love phoebe/cole sometimes.. in season 2, 3, and parts of 5/6. but yeah cole is pretty bad and abusive and ughhhhhh.. he’s just so.. tasty.. lollllll............ pretty much all of paige’s love interests are super boring. i loved prue/andy :( and again, paige or phoebe should have dated a lady at some point. lol.
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A Story about a Balaur and a Dakotaraptor
Oh Geez what have I done
Just, picture a universe like Zootopia, but the animals are all Reptiles (including birds) from 70-66 Mya (The Maastrichtian age). Also, they aren’t physically anthropomorphized.
Trigger Warning for emotional abuse, weed and alcohol, I guess? Anyways this is the story of the Adorable Sapphics:
By Tas on http://tasmagorical.id.au. Thanks to @ryuukiba for giving me important Spanish Insults. It’s long, but feel free to reblog.
I first saw her in my Intro to Philosophy class.
I was only in the class because my girlfriend of the time – Jinny, an Anzu from my hometown who came with me to this strange, giant university – wanted to major in Philosophy, and well, I need to fill some electives, I guess.
The teacher was rambling about something that I didn’t give a flying pterosaur crap about – I think it was ethics, which is embarrassing in retrospect – and I was just staring around the room. It was an “international” school, meaning that people from around the world came just to attend the world-famous classes. A giant Deinocheirus, one of the weirdest people I had ever seen, ever, was sitting in back, chewing on a piece of… water plant? A Simosuchus was in the front, and couldn’t really take notes – being quadrupedal and all – so he was using his tail, and it was an amusing sight. An Alamosaurus – who was much too big for the classroom – had a hole cut out of the wall of the room for him – and he was falling asleep in class.
And there she was.
Sitting a few rows from the front, on her own, using one of her feet to take notes. This was amusing in and of itself – did she not use her fingers buried in her wings to grab things, like I did? Jinny didn’t, but Jinny didn’t look much like me, either, and she just looked like a mini version of me.
I looked closer at her foot, and saw she had two Big Claws.
Two!
I watched her in surprise, now completely disconnected from Philosophy. Who cared, anyway?
She had two pens in her claws – using one to manipulate an actual pen, for notes, and the other a highlighter – to highlight back over her notes.
Wow, I thought to myself, maybe she could give me some tips on being a better student. Or at least, she could for this class. I was pretty good at calculus, didn’t need help with that.
“Setha!”
I looked over at Jinny, brought back rather rapidly to reality.
“Have you been paying attention at all?” Jinny laughed, the sound coming out like a loud, abrasive caw.
“Not really,” I shook my head, “I told you, Jin, I’m just not that interested in all this.”
“Then why did you take the class with me?” Jinny demanded angrily as the professor wrapped up and we all shuffled to leave the lecture hall; a Quetzalcoatlus had to fly up and peck at the Alamosaurus’ face to get him to wake up.
“I dunno, cause you wanted to take it together?” I snapped back.
“So stupid,” Jinny muttered as we left the room. I could feel my head feathers puff up in annoyance, but I tried to keep it to myself.
I looked around wildly for the two-clawed girl. I had seen so many others, closely related to me, who had big claws as well – there were the small cousins of mine from home, the Acheroraptor – but there was also Adasaurus, from the same place as Deinocheirus; and Atrociraptor, from a few miles North of where I lived. There was even Austroraptor, who was as big as I was, but from South America!
I had never seen anyone like her.
I finally locked eyes on her. She looked so small – but I knew plenty of distant relatives of mine who were small – but she also walked differently. More like my distant distant relatives, you know, the ones who were experimenting more with the air? And branches and stuff?
Anyway, she was cheerfully getting out of her seat when another animal walked up to her – it was one of those weird digging things, you know, the kind that dig up insects all the time and just kind of run around? He was a big one, much taller than the double-clawed girl, and he kind of shoved her forward with his nose.
I felt my feathers raise more in annoyance.
“What are you looking at?” Jinny asked.
“Oh – uh – nothing,” I said, and we walked together through the campus to our next class.
“Maybe you’ll return to normal in calc,” Jinny groaned.
“Usually do,” I offered, but the image of the digger pushing the double-claw forward was burned into my brain.
Still, being a freshman was hard – and I had other things to worry about. Like intro to chemistry. Which was probably going to kill me – slowly – in a vial of acid – used in the laboratory portion.
So I studied a lot. My best friend from home – Mik, a Tyrannosaurus who was increasingly getting huge and terrifying – was really good at chemistry, so we usually spent our time studying together.
“So are you going to actually come with me to the review session, or are you going to sit in your dorm and play video games with Nikko?” Mik asked as we poured over textbooks together, two nights before the second exam of the term (and I needed to pass).
“Nikko is busy trying to find a girlfriend,” I snorted. Nikko was our newest friend from the school, who Mik had met in his Biology class. He was a Velafrons, and he was terrible at speaking English, but man, could he swear and yell at us for not even trying at Spanish, so to each their own.
“Dammit,” Mik groaned, “I guess a relationship between a hadrosaur and a tyrannosaur is too crazy anyway?”
“Dude, you’re literally wanting to bang what you could consider a prey species,” I snorted at him.
“Yeah,” Mik sighed, “Why did he have to be straight?”
“Cause them’s the breaks,” I paused, “But no, I guess I’ll go to the study session tonight.”
“Thank God,” Mik groaned, “You need it.”
“Watch it,” I snarled.
“You know you haven’t been able to beat me in a fight since we were kids,” Mik paused, “Don’t try it.”
I snorted again and went back to studying, burying my nose in the book.
“By the way,” Mik said, “On the subject of Romance –“
“Oh no,” I groaned.
“Jin says you two like, never hang out anymore?” Mik asked.
“Jin only gives a crap about philosophy and history and all this shit that’s meaningless to me – and oh man, she’s just gotten more annoying about being against religion – like I’m not religious but does she have to belong to a club that’s literally a militantly atheist group? Really? How freaking rude, right?” I snapped.
“Well you know I agree. I don’t know why you dated her in the first place. We made fun of her in junior high,” Mik shook his head.
“Look, I’m a lesbian, tail is hard to come by,” I paused, “And she… had a nice phase in high school.”
“You mean that phase when she tried to make Ethel and Jacob atheists? Because she ‘didn’t care’ that they were ya know, Avialan, and therefore Jewish, but she did care that they believed in God?” Mik snorted, “There’s a reason they didn’t come here with us.”
“How are they doing at Hell Creek U, by the way?” I asked.
“Oh good,” Mik said, “They’re probably going to get married soon, honestly. They don’t see the point in waiting around.”
“Aww!” I gasped, “That’s so sweet. Are you going to go?”
“Dude, I’ve been friends with them since we were hatchlings, of course,” Mik paused, “Do you think it’ll be like Greg and Winnie’s wedding?”
“Because… they’re all Avialans?” I asked, laughing, “You do know there are differences between Avisaurus and Brodavis, right?”
“Yeah, course I know that,” Mik said defensively.
“Like, I don’t think that Ethel and Jacob will have as many water-related components –“
“I’m sorry, I was just wondering if there would be commonalities, that’s all!” Mik snorted.
“Well we’ll find out,” I paused.
“But back to the main topic,” Mik said, “You go to Maastrichtian University. The biggest school in the whole world. Reptiles from far and wide come here to get a fantastic education. You can definitely find someone nicer than Jinny.”
“You really want me to get rid of her, huh?” I laughed.
“If she could stop saying that I, because am a Tyrannosaur, am naturally violent, that would be great, that’s all I’m saying,” Mik roared.
“Yeah, okay, I’m going to break up with her,” I said, “You have a point.”
“Thank God,” Mik groaned, “Racist piece of shit –“
I snorted loudly and buried my nose back in atomic structures, but honestly, the relief at realizing I didn’t have to be with the only lesbian (that I knew of) from my home town was Huge.
Jinny didn’t take it well, and honestly, I don’t really care that she didn’t – she was a huge bitch. But now, of course, I was stuck in philosophy.
The things I do for love, I thought dejectedly as I sat in a different corner of the room, next to an Albertonykus, named Renee, I knew from the LGBTQ+ club (she was bisexual, but in a stable relationship with a boy from home, so that was a bust).
“What do you think we’ll suffer through today?” she asked.
“I don’t have a clue,” I groaned, “Why am I in this class.”
“Because you liked a mean girl and didn’t break up with her until after the add/drop period?” Renee offered.
“Why are you in this class?” I asked, sighing deeply.
“Because Lim is a philosophy major back at ‘Shoe College and I’d like to know what he’s talking about,” Renee laughed, “See, I, unlike you, am in a happy relationship –“
“Don’t rub it in,” I shook my head sadly.
“Ahem!” the professor called out. I quickly turned to pay attention, filled with embarrassment so my feathers puffed up all over.
“This week I would like you all to work on a project on personal perceptions of the existence of higher beings,” the professor began, “You’ll be working with someone I will pair you up with based on previous papers. I think it is extremely important that you work with someone with a different perspective on the subject than you.”
I nodded. Made sense.
“This is a rather large lecture hall, so your partners are all in a document on the online class portal,” she explained, “Emails are provided so you can get in touch with your partner. Now, back to the arguments presented by Fluffcart –“
I opened up my computer, wondering who I’d get paired with. Reading down the sheet, I was being matched with Nami, a name I didn’t recognize, so I pulled up my email.
Hey, looks like we’re partners for this thing – where do you want to meet up? I typed, tapping my claws against the floor.
I didn’t get a responding email for the duration of the class – though, I supposed, I should have been a better student and paying attention anyway. In fact, I didn’t get an email until later in the day, while I was hanging out with Mik and Nikko.
“You are so bad at Super Smash Dinos, Setha, I don’t know why you even try to play,” Mik teased.
“YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR FEET, DON’T EVEN – “ I shrieked.
“Tiny armed tonto,” Nikko laughed.
“How dare you make fun of my arms –“
“Estás bien way, ‘course I’m making fun of your arms-“
“You fucker –“ Mik flicked his tail at Nikko, hitting him in the back of the crest.
“Ow! ¡Fíjate, pendejo!” Nikka shouted, “Keep those feathers away from me –“
I got a buzz from my phone, so I picked up while they bickered over video games, reading quickly.
Hey Setha,
Let’s meet in the student center tomorrow at eight. I can’t really do later than that.
~ Nami
I sighed. Eight was when I had LGBTQ+ club, but, if she couldn’t do another time, well, there you go.
Sure, see you then. I’ll be the tall as fuck raptor, I sent, snorting quietly as Nikko beat Mik single-handedly. Literally. Nikko was playing with one hand. Nami didn’t respond to my message, so I just went back to playing.
I hardly ever went to the student center, mainly because I was super broke, and didn’t really feel like spending money I didn’t have on crappy junk food. It was also crowded and loud, and so many students were just… everywhere. Not my thing.
“Are you Setha?” a thick accent greeted me with. I looked up from my bad phone game – Angry Pterosaurs – and up into the most adorable, perfect face I had ever seen.
It was the two-clawed girl!
“Oh, hi! Nami?” I greeted, trying to not get too flustered. She was so small and gentle looking.
Oh no.
Not again.
How many times must I fall for a straight girl?
I had seen her since then with the digging boy – I didn’t know the kind of animal for either of them, they were from somewhere I wasn’t familiar with – and it was painfully obvious they were together.
“Yes, hi,” Nami said, sitting down, “I’ve seen you in class, nice to meet you –“
“Nice to meet you, too,” I paused, “I – uh – guess we should get started, then?”
“Yes, sounds good,” Nami said, “Let us see here – the assignment says we should discuss our differing perspectives of the possibility of the divine, and then explore those perspectives, and write up a report about the differences and similarities.”
“Right, well, I’m easy,” I said, “I’m agnostic.”
“Ah,” Nami nodded, “I see.”
“What about you?” I asked, tapping my claws against the floor again. I was much too flustered by how pretty she was. How could anyone’s feathers be so green? Was that even possible?
“I’m Jewish,” she said, “Avialan, you see.”
“You’re… Avialan?” I asked in confusion, “But you look like… a raptor, you know, like me.”
“No,” she shook her head, “I’m a Balaur. We’re Avialans from Romania.”
“Wow that’s… really interesting,” I paused, “Why do you guys look like raptors?”
“Why does anyone look like anything?” Nami said sharply, “Does it matter?”
“No,” I shook my head, “No, it doesn’t, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked.”
Nami nodded in satisfaction and pulled out her planner, “Well I go to shul every Friday and Saturday, of course. I suppose you could come with me, and we could talk afterwards about everything, if you don’t have other plans?”
“No, I shouldn’t,” I said, “Um, I don’t really have… services, being agnostic and all.”
Nami laughed, “No you wouldn’t, would you? Well we can just talk here about it if you’d like.”
“Uh… sure,” I paused, “I mean, we don’t have to get this all done so fast, we have a few weeks –“
Please let me hang out with you more –
“Oh, I don’t have a lot of free time,” Nami said sadly.
“Why not?”
“Coyle likes us to spend all our time together,” she shrugged.
“Coyle?” I asked, trying to play dumb.
“My boyfriend,” Nami said, “A Bradycneme.”
“Ah, okay,” I said, “So he… doesn’t let you do things on your own?”
“Not really, no,” Nami sighed, “Really, just my classes and shul.”
“So he’s not Jewish either?” I asked.
“Well, he’s a Digger, not an Avialan, so…” Nami laughed.
“People convert,” I offered.
“True,” Nami paused, “No… he doesn’t show much interest in it.”
“Oh,” I said, “I’m sorry.”
“It alright,” Nami said, “Anyway, so, tell me about what you believe?”
“Right, well, I guess I just don’t think about it much?” I said, “I wasn’t raised in any particular faith. It just didn’t matter to me much. I say I’m agnostic because I don’t really know if you can empirically prove whether or not there’s a God, and well, I like to believe in what I can prove.”
“Why?” Nami asked, writing down some stuff as I talked, lifting up her leg and using her toes like I had seen on that first day of class.
“I dunno. I’m a physicist,” I paused, “I like numbers, and calculations, and reasoning through things. It makes sense to me. I find a problem and I solve it. The universe can really be reduced to numbers, and… I dunno, I like combining them and finding answers through that. Measuring things, testing things, and using that to find my answers. That’s what matters to me, that’s what helps me understand the world. I question it. And I questioned God… I guess I did. I dunno, I never really thought about it extensively… but the times I did… I questioned God, and I couldn’t find evidence either way, and that was good enough for me…”
“Hmm,” Nami paused, “I see, yes.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” I said, grimacing.
“Oh you didn’t!” Nami said, “No that was very polite.”
“It… was?”
“Yes. Coyle is much ruder about how he’s an atheist. Keeps trying to get me to stop going to shul,” Nami looked embarrassed, “I shouldn’t have said that much.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” I said, feeling furious that someone would treat this girl I barely knew so rudely.
“I’m famished,” she looked at her phone, “And I have some time before he’s done with his writing club.”
“Do you wanna go to the burger place? Serves some great Mammals,” I offered.
“Uh… I’m an herbivore,” she said, looking even more embarrassed.
“Oh! I shouldn’t have assumed, I keep forgetting you’re not a raptor,” I groaned, “That’s completely my fault.”
“We can go to the sandwich place,” she offered, “They have kosher veggie wraps.”
“Okay!” I said eagerly, glad she wanted to spend so much time with me when I had literally put my foot in my mouth.
“So for you, physics is a religion?” she asked as we got in line. She was so much shorter than me.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” I admitted, “I don’t really… worship it? But it makes sense to me. It’s how I understand the world around me.”
“So what made you take philosophy?” Nami asked, “I mean, it’s also very logical, of course, but it’s not really… empirical.”
“Ugh, I had the worst girlfriend in the world and she’s a philosophy major, so I took it with her to take a class with her,” I groaned, “We’re broken up now.”
“You’re gay?” Nami asked.
“Uh… yeah,” I said, now feeling scared.
I’d had people be dicks to me before.
“Are you in the LGBTQ+ club?”
“Yup, I’m missing it right now,” I sighed.
“I wish I could go,” Nami lamented, ordering her sandwich and moving out of the way for me to do the same.
“Oh – are you…?” I didn’t finish my question.
“I’m… yes,” Nami paused, “I’m asexual, but I’m panromantic – I’ll date anyone.”
“Ah, gotcha,” I said, suddenly very cheerful indeed.
“I’ve only ever dated boys though,” Nami explained, “I had a… wonderful boyfriend in high school, but. Well. I’m with Coyle now.”
I didn’t push it.
“Why can’t you go to the club?” I asked, changing the subject for her. She looked especially uncomfortable, her feathers puffing up dramatically.
“Coyle doesn’t want me to,” Nami said simply, “He’s… very protective.”
“I see,” I said.
I didn’t like Coyle.
“Well, you should still hang out with people other than him,” I said, “Want to do something this weekend after we do stuff at your shul?”
“Oh… I… well,” Nami looked torn, “I would like to, yes, I think, but I don’t… I’ll make an excuse.”
“You should!” I eagerly wrote down my dorm room on a piece of paper, “My friends and, I we play a lot of video games.”
Nami laughed, “That sounds like fun. I can say I have a thing with my shul, he won’t question it.”
I nodded, but I still felt uncomfortable inside.
Mik, Nikko, and their new friend Tuoma – a trans girl Kritosaurus that Nikko met through his biology lab – were all in my dorm when I got back, playing Dinorio Kart.
“Eyyy there she is!” Tuoma greeted.
“Hi guys,” I paused, “Don’t you all have like, a huge biology test tomorrow?”
“We’re having a study break!” Mik protested.
“How are you guys expecting to get into medical school if you don’t study?” I snorted, sitting across from them.
“I am doing no such thing,” Nikko reminded, “I’m going to grad school.”
“Right, then it’s the other two who are stupid,” I shook my head.
“Hey!” Mike groaned as he lost, “Come on, Setha –“
“Don’t come on me, if you flunk out I’m gonna be all alone…”
“So how was your meeting with your philosophy partner?” Tuoma asked.
“Um,” I paused, “Good…”
“What’s wrong?” Mik asked instantly, stopping mid game.
“Oi! ¡Cabrón!” Nikko shouted.
“If you think that someone’s in an abusive relationship, but you barely know the person, what do you do?” I blurted out.
Everyone fell silent and looked at me in worry.
“I’m… not sure,” Tuoma sighed.
“Maybe befriend them?” Mik offered. Nikko nodded in agreement.
“I… I mean, I’m going to try, obviously. I just… I’m scared for her, and I don’t know her like, at all,” I sighed.
“Well, ease into it. Maybe it’s not as bad as it seems from the outside,” Mike said soothingly.
“Maybe…” I frowned, “She’ll be hanging out with us Saturday evening, after I do stuff with her for our project.”
“Ah – Tuoma’s bringing a new friend too!” Nikko said.
“Oh?” I asked, pulling out dried meat from Mik and my’s bowl of snacks.
“Yeah, their name is Qindo, they’re agender, we met at the trans support group,” Tuoma explained, “Thought they’d make a fine addition to ‘getting high and attempting to play Super Dinorio Bros’ club.”
“Ha! Awesome,” I laughed, “It’ll be an interesting evening for her.”
“What’s her name? What is she like?” Mik asked.
“Remember when I told you about a girl in my philo class with two foot claws?” I held up my foot and swiveled my claw back and forth in demonstration.
“Eww, get that out of my face, stinky,” Tuoma laughed.
“Yeah, I do,” Mik snorted.
“Well it’s her,” I paused, “She’s an Avialan, actually.”
“An Avialan? ¿Realmente?” Nikko asked.
“Yeah. A vegetarian, too,” I paused, “I really stuck my foot in my mouth, to be honest.”
“Kept assuming she was a raptor?” Mik laughed. I threw a pillow at him.
“Yes, you dumbass,” I paused, “She looks like a weird Adasaurus, okay? Geez.”
“So what’s your philo project about?” Tuoma asked.
“Religion, oddly enough,” I paused, “So I’m going to go with her to Shabbat stuff this weekend.”
“You know, we never went with our friends from home, that should be interesting,” Mik offered.
“I hope so,” I paused, “I’m looking forward to it, for sure.”
Mik stared at me critically for a minute before shouting, “Oh my God.”
“What?” Tuoma asked in confusion, looking between us rapidly.
“Setha’s fallen for her!” Mik laughed loudly.
“Fuck you, too!” I shouted, so embarrassed I wanted to melt into the floor.
“She’s in love! Oh no! Oh this is fucking typical!” Mik roared with laughter, making Nikko shout in instinctual fear.
“Leave me alone!”
“Why are you like this?” Mik chortled.
“Hey – you had a giant crush on Nikko before –“
“HEY”
“Wait you did?”
“I…”
“This should be interesting,” Tuoma said, sitting back and munching on some leaves in glee.
“I thought you were cute, but then I realized you were straight –“
“I mean, yeah, but like, I’d still be flattered, man!” Nikko shouted.
“I didn’t think you wouldn’t be – “
“So why didn’t you tell me?”
“Cause I was embarrassed!”
“I’m a flexible person! I mean, I’m not attracted to you, but like, I wouldn’t freak out about it! Again, I’d be flattered!”
“Well by the time I realized you would be I had gotten over it!”
I snorted loudly, satisfied that they were off the topic of my crush on Nami, and opened up my computer to work on an online homework assignment for calculus.
That Friday, I met Nami at her shul, which was just off of campus. It was a small place, but quiet; I wandered through the halls curiously, looking at all the pictures and names on the walls.
“It’s much bigger than the one from my home,” Nami said quietly. I turned around to see her, feeling embarrassed when I nearly knocked her over with my tail.
“Oh?” I asked.
“Yes,” she paused, “We’re still… recovering from. Well. Everything that happened.”
I nodded. I didn’t bring it up, for her sake. She already looked sad, and she hadn’t even said allowed the word.
“Do you get along with the people here well?” I asked.
“It’s a modest place, so yes,” Nami smiled, “It’s my one relaxing moment of the week, really.”
“I’m looking forward to participating,” I nodded as we went into the hall together, sitting together and taking out prayer books.
It was a beautiful, if quiet, affair. Almost everything was sung, and everyone was really friendly. Wine was drunk, and candles were lit, and I didn’t really know what was going on – or how to say, any, of the words – but it was nice. Nami looked really relaxed and happy, which made me happy, much to my chagrin.
God dammit.
Afterwards we all went to another room and sat down to eat dinner, which was almost entirely vegetarian, so I couldn’t eat it. Still, I enjoyed sitting there, listening to everyone talk.
“We hardly ever see Balaur anymore, but it’s really nice to have Nami with us,” an Enantiornis named Lolla said.
“So what are you going to write about in your project?” another Enantiornis named Poppy asked.
“I dunno, I think just… well, I liked what your Rabbi was saying about social justice and all that. I dunno, my main perception of religion has always been… thou shalt nots, that sort of thing,” I explained.
“Well, yes, but that’s not how it is here, or at least, not in this shul,” Nami said happily.
“Sin is more missing the mark, than some sort of inherent state that we’re all trying to escape,” Poppy nodded, “And it’s much more about fulfilling mitzvot than anything, really.”
“Belief in God is important, but it’s also about community, and coming together, and studying Torah,” Lolla explained.
“And debating the meaning of it!” Poppy laughed.
“Oh yes, can’t forget that the biggest part of being in this tribe is… arguing,” Lolla giggled.
“Nothing is really dogma, there is no one ‘right’ way to be Jewish,” Poppy said.
I wrote everything down in my phone, nodding and listening as they continued to discuss. It was really enlightening and interesting, and it was nice to learn about how Nami had grown up.
The next morning I met Nami there again – way too early in the morning. I was so tired I needed coffee.
“Sorry,” she greeted, not even saying anything before offering that comfort.
“It’s alright,” I yawned, “What am I in for this morning?”
“Torah, of course!” Nami said happily, “Come on.”
There were more prayers and singing that I didn’t understand, but also reading from their Torah, which was beautiful, ornate, and huge. They read that in Hebrew, too, and I just listened to the poetic sounds of the words, amazed at how I had no idea what was going on – but I felt connected to everything anyway.
We then met with more of Nami’s congregation members, talking and laughing as we ate lunch, with people discussing and debating the Torah portion for that week – even though I had no idea what it was, they still managed to talk about it and eagerly discuss, and eventually I caught up with the story as I listened.
“So, do you think you know what you’ll write about?” Nami asked as we walked back to campus together.
“Yeah I do – do you?” I offered.
“I’m not sure. You kind of gave me less to go on,” Nami laughed, “I’m hoping to learn more about you and what you believe tonight.”
“By watching me goof off with my friends,” I snorted.
“Well, that’s what you saw me do, didn’t you?”
“Fair point,” I frowned, “You weren’t really goofing off, though.”
“It’s still fun, to me, anyway,” Nami paused, “I’m a Jewish Studies major. Well, double major. That’s why I’m in philosophy, I need to take a few philo classes.”
“What is your other major?” I asked.
“Geology,” Nami grinned, “I like studying fossils.”
“Really?” I gasped in surprise.
“Course!” Nami paused, “I appreciate the ancient, whether it’s Torah, or the ancient fossil ancestors of Avialae, or just those weird mammal relatives from before the Great Dying.”
“That’s so neat,” I exclaimed, “We should talk about that more.”
“Heh, alright,” Nami nodded.
“You seem more cheerful than when we met,” I offered as we stepped back on campus, heading towards my dorm.
“Well, Shabbos is my time,” Nami explained, “Time just to myself.”
“Yeah,” I frowned, but I didn’t push it.
Which, of course, didn’t sit well in my stomach.
“Ey! You must be Nami!” Mik greeted as we went inside.
“Hola!” Nikko greeted.
“Hi,” Nami said shyly, sitting down in a corner. She was easily the smallest person there. Tuoma was there too, and her friend Qindo, who was a Champsosaurus.
“Setha’s told us so much about you!” Mik grinned. I hit him with my tail.
“Right, I’m Mik, I’m Setha’s friend since we were like, freshly hatched,” Mik began, “This is Nikko, a dork from Mexico –“
Nikko swore a long string of angry Spanish words in response.
“Tuoma, our other friend from Biology –“
“Hi,” Tuoma greeted cheerfully.
“And Qindo, who is also new –“
“They’re weird, I’ve been here five seconds and I’ve determined this –“
“What are your majors?” Nami asked nervously.
“I’m premed,” Mik paused, “So is Tuoma.”
“I’m going to go into genetics,” Nikko said.
“I’m an English major,” Qindo explained.
“And you know I’m physics,” I offered needlessly.
“Ah, I’m Jewish Studies and Geology,” Nami paused, “Qindo, do you know a Bradycneme named Coyle?”
“Ugh, him? He’s a dick,” Qindo said immediately.
I groaned softly.
“Uh… he’s my boyfriend,” Nami said.
“Oh. Um. Uh,” Qindo looked like they wanted to melt into the floor.
“Anyway!” Mik said, “Have you ever had edibles, Nami?”
“I… what?” Nami asked, laughing weakly as we all sat around the dorm.
“You know, pot brownies, that sort of thing,” Tuoma offered.
“Oh I – no? I have never had pot of any sort,” Nami said, looking embarrassed.
“This should be interesting,” I giggled as we all took some from the plate Qindo was holding. Mik then put in Dinorio Bros as Nami stared out into the distance, just chewing on the brownie.
“I should probably have asked if this is Kosher,” Nami said softly.
“Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” I groaned, “I should have thought of that.”
“Eh, it’s alright,” Nami sighed.
“I’m pretty sure it is?” Tuoma grimaced, “I didn’t… think of it. Sorry Nami.”
“Not your fault, just mine. I forget to check sometimes,” Nami shook her head.
We sat around and let it set in, me reaching that lovely euphoric state I looked forward to every week. Nami perked up considerably as it hit her, and we all started shouting at each other and playing games, laying and being ridiculous as we failed spectacularly. We weren’t good at the game high, or anything. It was just fun to be terrible – as a group.
From then on, Nami joined us every week, because she just lied to Coyle and said that she was doing stuff with her shul. She started personally preparing the brownies, and none of us minded – in fact, she was better at it than Tuoma. We got an A on our project (which ended up being an elaborate discussion of the perceptions of God and the similarities between agnostic and Jewish thought) and I even managed to pass Philosophy despite having never, not once, paid attention during lecture.
Even though I still found Nami beautiful – both inside and out – I didn’t really get to see her except Saturday evenings. We weren’t majoring in the same thing, so we didn’t really take any classes together past that point, and even though I think she knew how the rest of us thought of her boyfriend, she didn’t break up with him.
So I dated a few other girls - including Tuoma, for a bit, though we broke up amicably – but never really stayed with any of them.
“Yo Setha!”
“Yeah, Mik?” I asked, looking up from my project. We were juniors, now, and I was doing a lot of research with one of the professors on optics and electromagnetism.
“Look man, we should take a class next semester – the whole group,” Mik offered.
“All of us?” I asked in surprise.
“Yeah!” Mik paused, “Cause look – there’s this class on Dinopology, the history of the evolution and culture of Dinosaurs – shouldn’t we do that?”
“I mean, Qindo might object,” I snorted.
“Qindo can suck it, come on, it’s an intro class that none of us have taken – not even Nami! Let’s do it!” Mik said eagerly.
“You know full well Nami won’t be allowed to do that without Coyle,” I snarled.
“Wow, you haven’t even tried to seem like you approve, have you?” Mik laughed.
“Do I have to, really?” I paused, “At least when she isn’t here.”
“No, I guess not. I just kind of… I dunno. At least he isn’t physically hurting her or anything,” Mik sighed.
“Yeah, but come on, Mik,” I paused, “You see how she is with us – after a full day of being with her shul, and then with us, and not seeing Coyle at all – versus seeing her randomly in the week. She’s a completely different person.”
“I know,” Mik sighed, “But we’ve gone over it a thousand times. She won’t tell us why she’s with him, she won’t break up with him, and there’s nothing really we can do about it, without ensuring that she won’t even be able to hang out with us the small amount that she does.”
“Yeah,” I groaned, “I guess. But count me in for Dinopology.”
“Excellent,” Mik grinned.
Nikko and Tuoma were automatically on board, and Qindo’s reaction was essentially “Might as well learn how you people think, I guess.”
“I dunno,” Nami sighed as she got to the dorm on Saturday, pulling out brownies from her bag.
“Come on, it’s not like Coyle is a double Jewish Studies and Geology major,” Qindo said, their mouth filled with a large mammal steak we had cooked earlier.
“Yeah, you can’t have taken every class together,” Tuoma nodded.
“We want you with us! It won’t be the same without you,” Nikko begged.
“Please? We had so much fun in Philosophy together,” I said.
Nami looked at me sadly, “I can try. He just kind of insists that we take all the electives together, since we can’t take major classes together.”
“Well you should ask tomorrow! Then text Setha or someone,” Mik paused, “The rest of us should sign up for sure. Please do ask to morrow, Nams, registration is this week.”
“I will, I will. It definitely fits into my schedule, weirdly enough,” Nami paused, “Nikko, what are you doing?”
Nikko had decided to attempt to balance my stuffed animals on his head.
“… No sé,” Nikko admitted, his speech very slowed down.
“Oh no,” Tuoma giggled.
“Someone keep him away from sharp objects,” I grinned.
The next morning, as I attempted to work through the haze of a morning hangover and finish up my report, I got a text.
Coyle says that I can take it as long as he takes it with us…
I sighed. Better than nothing, I supposed.
Sure, I responded, We should probably know him better, I guess.
You can’t tell him about our weekends, Nami immediately responded, I just told him I knew all of you from classes and such.
Well, I quickly typed back, That’s not a… total lie?
Just what I thought. Thanks Setha. You’re always so understanding about this.
I gulped quietly.
And so guilty about that understanding.
Yeah, ‘course. I’ll let everyone else know.
“Fuck that!” Qindo said, literally calling me after I texted them.
“I know, but –“
“Come on, Setha, you more than anyone would be pissed about this!”
“Of course I am, but I’d rather Nami get to enjoy something with her friends for once! Geez, Qindo!” I shouted back.
“I’m with that dick in all my other classes, and this isn’t even something I’m interested in!”
“Look, we’ll all take a class you want first semester next year, and Coyle will not be allowed to come, how’s that?”
“Fine,” Qindo sighed, “Fine. You all owe me.”
I had never really had to interact with Coyle before – in Philosophy, I just kept sitting with Renee more often than not – so I really didn’t know what I was in for as I entered the large lecture hall the first day of the next semester.
“Hello,” Coyle greeted, in a gruff, angry voice.
“Hi,” Tuoma greeted cheerfully.
“I recognize some of you,” Coyle looked at Mik critically, who he definitely would have missed seeing in a class, “So you’ve all taken classes with Nami?”
“Yup,” Mik answered immediately, “I took a geology elective.”
Nami nodded, “I told you that, Coyle.”
“Yes,” Coyle said slowly, “So why Dinopology?”
“It’s an elective we can all take?” Qindo said sternly.
“Right,” Coyle sneered, sitting with us. The professor started talking about the subject and I took notes quietly, seething that this complete dick was with us.
“For the first week of class, I want you to pair up and work on a presentation on the origin of Dinosaurs…”
Of course, Coyle paired with Nami, but at least she was having a class with us for once.
“I just want to pry her away from his single fingered, grubby hands,” Mik sneered as we all watched a movie during the week, Nami of course not there.
“I want to smash his cabeza into his cuerpo. Cabròn,” Nikko hissed.
“Nikko, take a deep breath,” Tuoma soothed, nuzzling her head against his. They had started dating only a few weeks ago.
“Seriously though, the boy is infuriating,” Mik growled, “Maybe me and Xin could go and teach him a lesson.”
“You and your Tarbosaurus boyfriend attacking him sounds wonderfully appealing,” Qindo sighed dreamily.
“Any move we make will just make him reign in his control more. The two live together,” I sighed, “There really isn’t an option.”
Mik looked at me in annoyance, “Why are you like this?”
“What are you on about?”
“We’ve been friends with Nami for two fucking years and you are still just as in love – no, MORE in love – with her as you were when you first saw her!”
“Leave me alone!”
“But you won’t do anything to save her from this situation!”
“She doesn’t love me back, so it doesn’t matter, you douchecanoe,” I hissed.
“So you’re saying the only reason to save her from a terrible relationship is, so you could be with her?” Tuoma asked angrily.
“That doesn’t seem like love,” Qindo said quietly.
I growled, “That’s not what I meant – “
“It sounds like what you meant!” Mik roared, “Setha, I can’t believe you!”
“It’s not what I meant at all – I mean – look,” I sighed heavily, “You’re right. That was a terrible thing to say. I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t. I just. Don’t want to risk having her get into an even worse situation because I intervened, or anyone intervened, and it didn’t go successfully. What I meant by what I said was just… I dunno. Maybe if I saw that she liked me back or something, I could try and use that as a reason for her to get herself out?” I offered.
Everyone relaxed considerably.
“I still think you should try regardless,” Mik grumbled.
I frowned, but focused on the movie.
Eventually we were given a huge project – a research one, where we had to study a topic in dinosaur evolution, and write a paper and make a presentation for the class – and we had to pair up with other people, so Nami and I worked together. Mik took Coyle, mainly because Mik wanted to find an excuse to eat him.
“No one would ever know, I’m telling you,” MIk insisted.
“Do not eat him, Mik!” Tuoma shrieked as I, Nikko, and Qindo cackled in the corner during the exchange.
I met with Nami during the week, us sitting in my dorm while Mik was out doing other things.
“So, what do you want to do for the project?” I asked, flipping through the pages of the book.
“I don’t know,” Nami sighed, “I’m so tired.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I looked up from the book, frowning at Nami sadly.
“No,” Nami shook her head, “Let’s just pick a topic.”
“How about the evolution of Avialans? You know that really well cause of your major,” I offered.
“Eh,” Nami groaned, “Yeah, I do, but consider: I know it too well.”
I laughed appreciatively, “How about the evolution of Titanosaurs, then? Doubt anyone else will want to do that.”
“Sounds impossible,” Nami grinned, “I’m on board.”
I snorted and we got to work, compiling as many sources as we could. The project would be a long, drawn-out one, and take most of the rest of the semester, so we got to hang out alone a lot without worrying about Coyle.
“Okay but why would your favorite character be Neville!” Nami laughed.
“He has so much untapped potential!” I grinned, “He’s the most underrated character in Harry Potter –“
“But Hermione!” Nami insisted, “An Avialan Icon!”
“Hermione is great! A pure rolemodel! Adorable! Not as great as Neville!” I grinned.
“What kind of Lesbian are you –“
“A perfectly good one, thank you very much!”
Of course, we saw completely eye to eye on other pieces of media we both loved.
“The most infuriating part of Star Wars,” I said as we took a break from examining fossil evidence charts, “Is that everything in episode three is completely avoidable.”
“SHE JUST HAD TO GO TO AN EGG DOCTOR!” Nami shrieked.
“That’s all she had to do!” I agreed.
“Then they would have actually kept track of her condition!” Nami nodded.
“Made sure she was healthy!”
“Focused on the important things!”
“Maybe even,” I fake gasped, “Tell Obi-Wan!”
“Oh no, such logic is impossible for Anakin and Padme!” Nami snorted, “How far Padme had fallen…”
“She was such a good character before three ruined her,” I agreed, “On the Clone Wars, especially.”
“Oh don’t bring that up,” Nami groaned, “I still get mad about how that show makes me feel worse about Order 66 –“
We also discussed, well, non-media related things as well.
“I hate that Nikko doesn’t have enough accommodations,” Nami sighed.
“What do you mean?” I asked, looking up from the powerpoint we were working on.
“I mean…” Nami frowned at me, “I mean, he’s got a bad leg, right? He should have easier ways to get to classrooms and stuff, but this school is terrible at large-sized elevators.”
“You’re right,” I sighed, “I never really… thought about that. Since he hardly ever, you know, talks about it?”
“We should do something about it,” Nami offered.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Write to the school! Raise awareness! We really aren’t disability friendly at all!” Nami demanded.
“When are we going to do that, miss maximum-load-of-classes?” I offered.
“Um… at some point,” Nami admitted.
“We should, I agree,” I paused, “We’ll talk to the others about it on Saturday.”
The night before the project was due, she had been spending more time with me than with Coyle, and she acted like it – much more confident, much happier, much more excited about, well, everything.
“Nams?” I asked tiredly as we worked late into the night, piles of papers around us as we composed a large paper.
“Yeah?” she looked at me, her eyes drooping with sleepiness.
“Why do you stay with Coyle?” I murmured.
Nami sighed deeply, “I suppose I should tell you the story, I guess.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I quickly offered.
“No, I want to,” Nami closed her laptop and stared at me for a long time.
“I dated this guy in high school. His… name was Olne,” Nami paused, “He was an Elopteryx. A troodont.”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“We were… I really loved him,” Nami was crying now, “I really, really loved him.”
“What happened to him?” I asked softly.
“He got into a car crash,” Nami drew in a shaking breath, “Didn’t live very long afterwards.”
“I’m so sorry, Nams,” I whispered.
“He was so sweet. And nice. Like you, really,” Nami paused, “I mean, he liked the same things as you. He was nicer than you are.”
I stuck my tongue out at her, which made her laugh.
“But… Coyle was his best friend. He was so upset after what happened. We just kind of… fell in together, because, well, we both knew what the other was going through,” Nami sighed, “He was so… scared of everything after that. He got overprotective. Constantly worried, since we’re in a new country and everything, that the unknown will cause something to hurt me.”
“That’s… not what I was expecting,” I admitted.
“He’s very mean, I know,” Nami paused, “And… controlling. But his heart’s in the right place.”
“Except you’ve been living here for two years, Nams,” I paused, “And you… I dunno. You’ve adjusted really well. You can take care of yourself.”
Nami sighed heavily.
“And you don’t… seem to be in love with him,” I muttered quietly.
Nami looked up and stared at me critically, “No, I don’t.”
“Then?”
“I’m not sure how he’ll react,” Nami paused, “And I have no where to live. And he’s a reminder of home”
“You can crash with me!” I offered eagerly.
Nami laughed, “Are you sure? Mik takes up a lot of room.”
“I’m used to Mik,” I said dismissively, “He’s basically my brother.”
“Very true,” Nami paused, “Thank you for being understanding, Setha. I’ll think about it”
“Of course,” I agreed, “It’s up to you, obviously. And I understand not wanting to give up a reminder of home. Why do you think I put up with Mik?”
Nami laughed appreciatively, and we got back to work.
We turned in our paper the next day and delivered our presentation, and it was one of the best ones of the class. Nami looked so happy, and confident, that I was shocked to not see her that Saturday at our weekly hang.
“Maybe I should text her?” I asked softly.
“I’ll do it,” Mik sighed, “If nothing else, I think Coyle ‘trusts’ me now.”
Qindo growled softly.
Mik texted quietly as we all sat around, staring at each other worriedly.
An hour went by without a response, and our worry only grew.
“This is my fault,” I groaned.
“What do you mean?” Tuoma asked.
“I mean – I encouraged her to break up with him. I shouldn’t have done that,” I cried.
“Look, we encouraged you to encourage him,” Mik said, “It’s all of our faults.”
“Definitely,” Qindo agreed.
“I know, but… I won’t be able to live with myself if…” I cried.
“If what?”
“He could be hurting her… like, physically,” I whispered.
Mik looked at his phone again – nothing.
“I’m going to their apartment,” he said softly.
“No, I’ll go,” I said, “If we need to emergency extract her, you’re the better choice for that; let me ruin any chance of me seeing her again.”
“Setha –“ Nikko said.
“Just, let me go,” I shook my head, “This is my mess.” I left the dorm in a rush and ran across the campus, running as fast as my fluffy legs could carry me. I even flapped my wings a little to get some slow-moving Alamosaurus to move out of the damn way.
I had to, eventually, just hop onto them and over them, to keep going towards the student housing apartments on the other side of campus, running through the small streets that reeked of weed and alcohol, running up some stairs to their small apartment.
I could hear shouting.
My heart clenched in my chest and I rammed my head roughly into the door.
“OPEN UP,” I screamed.
Coyle opened the door, glaring at me. He was covered in blood.
“You!” he shouted.
“Yeah, me, you dick,” I pushed him out of the way, “Did you hurt her?”
“No, she hurt me!” Coyle roared.
I looked around for Nami, and found her in the middle of the room, looking ruffled and angry. In fact, she was completely disheveled, but she didn’t look to be bleeding – but her claws were covered in blood.
“I told him – I told him I was leaving him – and he tried to… He tried to attack me so I fought back!” Nami hissed, “What, did you think these claws were just for Supreme Studying Techniques?”
I grinned in pure, utter pride.
“You bitch –“ Coyle hissed.
“Come at me again, I dare you,” Nami shouted. Coyle did, though, and he was bigger than her, so he pinned her down.
“HEY!” I shouted, but they both ignored me. Nami kicked at Coyle roughly, scratching at his stomach, making him scream in pain and back away.
“Eventually you’ll tire out!” Coyle hissed.
“Not before you run out of blood!” Nami snapped.
I didn’t want to see her get any more bruised and beaten, so I ran forward, shrieking at the top of my lungs. I pulled him off of her and held him back loosely, not drawing blood with my teeth.
“Let go of me you bitch!” Coyle roared.
Nami threw out another kick, more blood coming from him, and I dropped him on the floor.
“We’re done. I don’t need you, and Olne would be ashamed of you,” Nami snapped.
“You take that back!” Coyle demanded.
“No,” Nami paused, “I’ll be having Mik collect my things. Goodbye, Coyle.” We left the apartment together, Nami limping heavily.
“What did he do to you?” I asked quietly, horrified that she had gotten hurt at all.
“Ugh,” Nami sighed, “He tried to use his large size to overpower me. I think he broke my leg, maybe? But I could still kick, so I did.”
“I’m proud of you,” I said honestly. Nami laughed.
“Thank you for encouraging me to do that. I’ve wanted to… well, since we met, to be honest, but I never had the courage,” Nami sighed.
“Why did you want to when we met?” I asked, helping her walk by just straight up putting her on my back, walking slowly to the student health center.
“He was getting insufferable? Surely you noticed. I’m not… okay, I wasn’t… really about drugs but I joined you guys just to have some way to avoid him. I’m just. I was scared of him. He’s big and well, he has a lot of emotional weight on me,” Nami sighed.
“Still, that’s just. An odd thing to say,” I sighed.
“I’ll tell you some time,” Nami explained, “Let’s just get me to a doctor, yeah?”
“We certainly shouldn’t let Tuoma and Mik practice on you,” I laughed. Nami laughed with me, as we went together to the center. She did have a slight fracture, but it was easily patched up.
She moved in with me and Mik and it was wonderful – and honestly, Coyle was way too afraid of Mik to try anything.
“To Nami’s freedom!” Nikko cheered the first weekday we actually all got to hang out together.
“To Coyle’s butt being kicked! Literally!” Tuoma cheered.
“To never having to look at Coyle’s stupid face again!” Mik laughed.
“Unless it’s to kick it!” Nami giggled.
“HUZZAH!” I cheered.
We all clinked together our glasses of wine and laughed, drinking and cheering together about the beauty of this latest development.
“So what do you want to do with your newfound freedom, Nami?” Qindo asked.
“I want to figure out who I am without the dick,” Nami said honestly. Mik laughed loudly and Tuoma clapped.
“But besides that, what I really want is to just be happy,” Nami paused, “I think being with him kept me in a shadow for… all of college. I haven’t been able to move past my past.”
“Well, we’ll help you any way we can,” I said happily.
“Any way?” Nami asked, grinning at me.
“What are you asking?” I snorted.
“Never mind,” Nami paused, “Let’s play some rock band?”
“Oh no,” Mik groaned.
“Oh yes!” Nikko cheered.
“I love watching you being completely unable to do anything!” Tuoma giggled.
“This isn’t fair –“
“Mik, you’re the largest predator on the planet, you don’t get to talk about what isn’t fair,” I grinned.
“Setha, you’re a dick.”
“Thank you!”
Nami was laughing more than I had ever seen her do, and the sight just gave me hope and joy. She was free, and she was happy, and that dick would never hurt her again.
Senior year we all got a large house together off campus, but Nami and I were the first to move in – Mik was off volunteering in some of the poorer countries, giving health care to people who really needed it; Nikko and Tuoma were on vacation at the Nemegt; and Qindo was still working their crappy summer job at home.
“Hey Setha?” Nami asked as I put up my posters in my room.
“Yeah Nams?” I answered, looking over at her and getting flustered as I always did when I looked at her beautiful, adorable green face.”
“Um. Can I talk to you?” Nami looked rather flustered herself.
“Sure,” I agreed, stepping down and cocking my head to the side, “What’s up?”
“Er, so you wondered. Back in the spring. About how I knew I wanted to break up with him from the moment I met you?” Nami asked.
“Yeah?” I said, what a strange thing to bring up.
“Er… well, okay,” Nami laughed nervously, “This is really hard for me to say, because, um, I’m still in… a weird headspace. After Coyle.”
“Of course,” I frowned.
“Er… you see… I think you’re really cute,” Nami admitted. I felt myself flush in amazement.
“You… do?”
“Yeah,” Nami said, now talking very fast, “Yeah, you see, well, I thought you were really pretty, and I love how brown your feathers are, and I watched you in class and the way your feathers would perk up whenever you saw something you actually cared about on the computer, and well, I was really excited to see it was you that I was working with, but I didn’t want you to know because I knew Coyle would like, not approve of me having friends, because who can trust these Americans right, so I just pretended to not like you, but then you were so respectful and kind and thoughtful at shul, and I was like, I have to hang out with her more, and it was so nice to have somewhere to go and someone to hang out with every weekend who wasn’t from shul, and I just had so much fun with you, and you were always so nice to talk to, and so pretty, and I just. Wow. I’m rambling, I’m sorry,” Nami said.
“Don’t be!” I said, my heart pounding loudly.
“Um, so yeah, I think you’re pretty, and funny, and smart, and interesting to talk to, and you can be nice, but you’re really brave, and yeah,” Nami rambled, “Um… I like you.”
“I like you too,” I said immediately.
“You do?” Nami breathed.
“Dude, the first time I saw you I was just, fascinated by you, and how beautiful you were, and I was so curious about everything you are, and when we talked and went to your shul you were so sweet and thoughtful and you just want the best for everyone, and hanging out with you was so great and I was so glad you wanted to, and I just – yeah,” I stopped, feeling embarrassed.
Nami’s four curved claws were all tapping together in happy unison.
“I just, think you’re really beautiful, and wonderful, and I’m happy we’re friends, and I’m happy you’re in my life,” I said firmly.
“I’m happy you’re in my life too,” Nami paused, “Because eyou’re really beautiful, and wonderful, and a great friend, and, well, I wouldn’t have stayed with Coyle forever, but you definitely helped me get out of that… faster.”
“Thank God,” I said honestly. Nami laughed softly.
“Well… um… do you wanna…” Nami paused.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I asked immediately. Nami nodded eagerly and I bounced with excitement, my floof going every which way as I did so.
“We should go on a date,” Nami said eagerly.
“We should,” I paused, “First… can I… nuzzle you?”
“Oh!” Nami looked embarrassed and flushed again, her feathers all sorts of directions, “Yes! Yes please!”
I leaned down to her and gently nuzzled her, pressing my snout into hers. She felt nice and soft and fluffy, and she smelled like the fruit they ate at her shul, and I couldn’t help but giggle. She giggled too, and we pressed our noses together for a minute, before pulling away and laughing with each other.
“Well then,” I said.
“Yes,” Nami grinned.
“Wanna go see a movie?” I asked.
“Ooh yes!” she agreed, and we walked out of the house together, laughing and talking about nothing in particular –
And we have made each other infinitely happy since.
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This is a tag I always see making its rounds on YouTube and in the blogsphere, and while I don’t do many tags anymore (that aren’t related to music, you can pry the Playlist Book Tag from my cold, dead hands) I saw a few really great takes on the tag and looked at the questions and figured this is one for me!
A little about my reading history:
Since April of 2018, I’ve found myself enjoying reading more than I have since around 2013 when I first joined the book community. It’s become a lot more personal and just reading on a whim, not hesitating to DNF and leave things half-read until I’m interested in the book again. My memories of what I read is a lot stronger, even though I’m reading more.
At this point in the year I’ve read 170 things, mostly manga and comics, which I’m honestly really happy about as they make me happiest as I read them. That also means I have a lot to choose from in my answers.
Without further ado: the questions!
1) BEST BOOK YOU’VE READ SO FAR IN 2019?
Okay, so a lot of my top books happen to be horror, and I promise you that’s purely accidental.
The Elementals by Michael McDowell: 80’s horror where two families journey to their Summer houses after the death of one of the matriarchs and find themselves at the hands of not just the elements, but forces that reside in the land.
The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell: A gothic told across three different points of view centred around a widow who travels to her late husbands estate and is tormented by strange wood carvings who seemingly move by themselves.
Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl: A year after the death of her boyfriend, a teenager journeys out to visit her estranged friends, only for them to end up stuck in a time loop repeating the same day until they can come to a unanimous decision on which one of them deserves to live.
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson: Horror classic where four people travel to Hill House and experience strange hauntings that begin to send them mad. Also highly recommend the Netflix show!
Teen Dog by Jake Lawrence: The coming-of-age graphic novel with anthropomorphic animals you never knew you needed. Full of innocent existentialism and themes of growing up!
2) BEST SEQUEL YOU’VE READ SO FAR IN 2019?
They aren’t sequels, but these are my favourite volumes in longer series! It counts! They are all follow ups to previous volumes!
Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 9 by Hiromu Arakawa: If there was a Connie has to go more than 5 posts without mentioning FMA challenge, I would lose. Literally the best possible conclusion to this series, it broke my heart.
Haikyuu!! Volume 2 by Haruichi Furudate: My review for this on Goodreads was literally just ‘Oikawa AND Nishinoya?! In one volume?! I’m having a crisis!’
which sums up me reading this whole series.
My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Volume 3 by Hideyuku Furuhashi: Volume 2 of this series was an absolute goddamn mess but this volume? Wow. My review if you want to read me lose my mind. Some spoilers for extra content and some characters, but it’s not really overly spoiling plot points.
No.6 Volume 5 by Atsuko Asano: I have gone on so many spiels to my best friend about how amazing this series is. It honestly deserves recognition for being a very thought provoking and character driven dystopian, the character development is truly a work of art and I wish I could write a world and dynamics as well as Atsuko Asano does.
3) NEW RELEASE YOU HAVEN’T READ YET, BUT WANT TO?
I can’t really give much information on these seeing as I haven’t read them, so sorry everyone!
Teen Titans: Raven by Kami Garcia: I confess, I am getting this because of Gabriel’s artwork. I’ve been a huge fan for a while now, so it just felt right to have this in my collection, especially considering I want to learn more about the Titans.
Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner: Very mixed reviews on this one, but oh well!
The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman: Everyone and their mother is talking about this book, honestly.
The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling: It’s like a space survival story but with these weird zombie creatures? I’ll be going for the audiobook with this one.
4) MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE YEAR?
I made a whole post about this that I worked very hard on so please check it out, but I guess I’ll include the only three I’ve been able to pre-order.
Tunnel of Bones by Victoria Schwab: This is the sequel to City of Ghosts, a middle-grade horror story I really love, and I’m looking forward to this one even more as it’s set in the catacombs of Paris!
Who Put This Song On? by Morgan Parker: Several people have described this as having some of the best mental health rep in young adult fiction, so I’ll be reading this for my dissertation that I’m starting in January.
The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen: I reallllly love the podcast this is based on (The Bright Sessions, also created by Lauren) and Adam and Caleb are my absolute favourites, so this book is my JAM.
5) BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT?
BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF THESE. one of the cons of reading so much is that I end up being disappointed by significantly more books than others do, which sucks, but I honestly don’t find myself hating the reading experience. Even if i hate the book, for me, tearing it apart can become fun!
Slam Volume 1 by Pamela Ribon: I love roller derby, but the characters and the lack of narrative in this volume really didn’t do it for me. Maybe if more time was spent making sense of plot at the start I’d have enjoyed it, but there were so many time jumps I stopped caring.
It Only Happens in the Movies by Holly Bourne: One day UKYA readers are gonna have to sit down and properly talk about how the first maybe 5 years of the decade were spent crowning titles and writers as the leads of UKYA despite the fact that their books aren’t really good. They contain thinly-veiled misogyny, really bad writing that uses chat speak in-text as if it’s normal, stereotyping of characters (they really love the bitchy mean girl trope) and what the kids would call racism that doesn’t explicitly state it’s racism, like, say, dropping slurs or having outwardly racist beliefs, but when a character says someone ‘might be Asian or Jewish’ and then laughs about it and never addresses it again, you kind of guess it’s some kind of internalised racism nobody feels comfortable addressing.
Trouble by Non Pratt: SEE ABOVE, only this one has the most terribly written step-incest subplot that never properly gets resolved or treated with the disgust it deserves!
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: Weird possessive vibes, references to stalking, and shitty love triangles. This received the best rating of the bunch (3), but the general disappointment I feel is at the continued inclusion of uncomfortably possessive male love interests dehumanizing and treating women like they are better seen not heard in romance fiction. Tessa Dare doesn’t treat me like this!
The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham: This one is less hate, more just disappointment. I was so bored reading this, honestly, it feels unbearably long, and the romance is so unneeded and dull.
6) BIGGEST SURPRISE?
The Unsound by Cullen Bunn: I’ve learnt that my opinion on generally negatively rated comics and graphic novels is going to completely differ. This is very surreal, with a lot of graphic self harm and violence, and will definitely not be for everyone, but I very much enjoy it!
Sweet Blue Flowers Volume 1 by Takako Shimura: I literally heard about this, ordered the first volume day-of, and then read it as soon as it arrived and loved it. It’s predominantly a slice-of-life/romance following sapphic teenage girls!
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan: Everytime I think of this I feel soft. For a fantasy this is very easy to read, with snappy dialogue and a lot of wit from our main character. What surprised me most, however, was how deep and introspective it got exposing the fears of our main character, something not enough portal fantasies spend time doing, and I’m really grateful to have read this book!
A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay: Can you really be surprised if you go into a book with no expectations? I knew vague details about plot, and a brief allusion to a dollhouse in a review I happened to scroll past, and I ended up loving this.
Lazaretto by Clay McLeod Chapman: This is an absolutely horrifying comic about a flesh eating virus that breaks out during the first few weeks of college and sends the campus into complete lockdown. It’s honestly tragic, and does not have a happy ending, but I love it? I usually hate endings that are bad for our main characters, but everything about this just really wrapped me in a blanket- horrified me, sure, yet it was weirdly comforting.
The Past and Other Things that Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson: Again, I saw one person praise this book and listened to the audiobook immediately after and really enjoyed it. It’s very moving with some main characters that will test your patience but you’ll end up loving.
7) FAVOURITE NEW AUTHOR?
Paul Tremblay and Michael McDowell!
8) NEWEST FICTIONAL CRUSH?
Kirie in Uzumaki by Junji Ito! Makoto in My Hero Academia: Vigilantes! Charlotte Holmes in A Study in Charlotte! I’m noticing these are all women, which is kind of on brand for me.
9) NEWEST FAVOURITE CHARACTER?
Seeing as all my crushes are on women, I’ll try and pick some other favourites here! I’ve really fallen in love with Tensei Iida in My Hero Academia and eternally love Thirteen, Teen Dog in Teen Dog, Shion in No.6 (the character development!!!!), and basically the whole cast of The Avant-Guards by Carly Usdin! Tom in the Memoirs of Lady Trent series has really grown on me after book one, too.
10) BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY?
BOY. I cry a lot. I cried reading Winnie the Pooh, which I finally picked up all the stories of earlier this year; Neverworld Wake; the Save Me Webtoon, a great webcomic based off of the BTS music video continuity; I Want To Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino, which beat me over the head with a frying pan while I was distracted. Sheets by Brenna Thummler didn’t make me cry but it did make me incredibly sad.
11) BOOK THAT MADE YOU HAPPY?
A lot of what I read makes me happy! There’s Super Fun Sexy Times by Meredith McClaren, a small collection of 5 stories based on the sex lives of different superheroes/villains/etc.; My Love Story by Kazune Kawahara which makes me eternally happy and soft every time I pick up a volume; In Other Lands, which, while sad at times, is also very funny and has my exact brand of humour; and there’s the Haikyuu!! manga series, which I love and adore and all the characters are hilarious, even while being serious.
12) FAVOURITE BOOK TO MOVIE ADAPTATION?
I haven’t really seen any? Does Boys Over Flowers count if I haven’t read the manga OR finished the show yet? Either way, Boys Over Flowers is great and so melodramatic. If you push through the drama and very strange and problematic behaviour, it’s honestly got a cute romance between two tsundere people and enough stupid hair to giggle at.
13) FAVOURITE REVIEW YOU’VE WRITTEN?
LOOOADS! I’m very proud of my reviews this year, and it seems like a lot of them are horror!
my review of haunting of hill house by shirley jackson
my review of a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay
my review of the elementals by michael mcdowell
my review of meddling kids, where i discussed harmful stereotypes and tropes within horror fiction
three horror reviews: this is not a test, the silent companions, uzumaki
my review of poetry book shame is an ocean i swim across, where i discuss body image issues
14) MOST BEAUTIFUL BOOK YOU BOUGHT THIS YEAR?
Other Words For Smoke by Sarah Maria Griffin! It’s really pretty and has beautiful pink sprayed edges, and I absolutely love the owl in the background. I think the mix of pink and gold on the cover is so striking, too, it really is a book that stands out.
15) WHAT BOOKS DO YOU NEED TO READ BY 2020?
I actually have a Summer 2019 TBR if you want loads of information on everything I plan on reading.
However, other than all the books I kind of have to read for my first semester back at University, I really want to read Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz and When the Truth Unravels by RuthAnne Snow.
What would you pick for these questions? Please let me know in the comments if you made a post of this tag, I’d love to read them!
Thank you for reading!
If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi.
I also currently have a GoFundMe set up to help fund my third year of University, so any stray pound helps ❤
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Mid-Year Book Freak Out Tag! This is a tag I always see making its rounds on YouTube and in the blogsphere, and while I don't do many tags anymore (
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