#i still have to figure out on my own how to live my life in a way that'd make the happiest
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hi, as someone who is tragically gen Z and only ever read AO3, can I ask: what was so great about LiveJournal? Like, I know that there were fics posted there (and I've even read about the "purge", so I get why it isn't used anymore) and that it was sort of a forum-type thing. But what I don't understand, wouldn't Tumblr fill in the latter function? How was that site any different? I see a lot of people reminiscing about it and I'm confused
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A big factor in LJ's greatness is timing and nostalgia.
It was genuinely great, but it wasn't quite as great as all of the Lo, shall the Golden Age ne'er come again? posts suggest.
LJ arrived at a pivotal time in the development of the internet both in terms of technical stuff and how many people had access. Many fans who are now in their thirties to fifties first discovered fandom through LJ and many were at a time in their lives when they were feeling energetic and up to making lots of new friends—and to figuring out how to make a site work for them.
I got on LJ in 2002 when it required invites. Fandom arrived in droves in 2003, first via coordinated campaigns to get invites to key people and then when LJ opened up free account creation to everyone. Back then, LJ's features sucked. It was impossible to search properly, among other things. At its height (2005-7, let's say), there was a reasonable site search, and fans had developed all sorts of community resources for finding each other.
People often remember this phase but not the early days of suckitude.
This development parallels how Tumblr used to not have that private chat feature and how a lot of fuckyeah[whatever] type tumblrs have helped curate the site and make it much more usable for fans. Fandom draining away from LJ after strikethrough also parallels people draining away from Tumblr after the purge.
There are people who talk about Tumblr the way my cohort talks about LJ...
And to the shock of no one, they are people who came of age on Tumblr, who found fandom via Tumblr, who were on Tumblr during pivotal times in their lives and ones when they had energy to make friends and figure out how a site worked.
Those same Tumblrites are now making all the same geriatric-sounding posts we LJers do about how other sites lack the required features to be good for fandom while missing that 90% of tumblr's "features" at its height (2012-2016, let's say) were actually fan-created and were basically the same as any fandom newsletter or links page or all the versions of this kind of personal curation stretching back to long before the internet existed.
What life phase you hit a site at matters.
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With all of that said, no, LJ was not a forum. It was a blogging site with threaded comments.
The key point to understand is that conversation was always happening in a specific person's space. Unlike on a true forum, people were in the comments on a particular post in a journal owned by another fan. (On a forum, there's the first post in a thread, but it's still more of a communal space with less of a hierarchy.)
Overall, the LJ format can have a feeling a bit like you're over at someone's house for tea. There's more of a sense of intimacy and also behaving yourself in front of community members.
Tumblr being obscure and impossible to find anything in does give it some of the same vibe relative to Twitter, but it's still part of modern social media that tries to shove every rando into the face of every other rando.
But it wasn't just vibes: LJ also had robust privacy features where you could lock a post to this or that group of friends. You could moderate your comments section properly. Tumblr has far fewer controls to force people to behave or leave on a technical level.
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The biggest thing many people miss about LJ is the threaded comments. At least by late LJ and on Dreamwidth, you can expand and collapse threads, making it far easier to deal with a massive comments section. But more than that, things are properly threaded with multiple levels of hierarchy that are all easily visible in the same place.
On Tumblr, it used to be extremely difficult to find all of the actual commentary on a post. Nowadays, it's far easier, but you still have to scroll chronologically, and multiple versions of a post with a long chain of commentary may be much more divorced from each other than what would happen in a LJ comments section.
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But could we use Tumblr pretty much how we used LJ?
We could.
I do.
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The key things that people tend to miss about LJ, aside from the younger and more excited version of themselves or the friends they've lost since then, are:
Heavily text-based
It may sound odd on the modern internet, but there are a lot of people whose brains don't like or handle an image-heavy site well. They were everywhere in SF book fandom. They were everywhere on the early internet. Today, they're hanging out on Dreamwidth and still going to their SF cons. They're usually not on Tumblr.
You could follow the discussion
Threaded comments help, but a lot of it is about having some place you can check for updates. It wasn't actually that easy to follow big LJ discussions unless you were subscribed to comments and reading along as things were happening instead of coming along after the entire mass of comments had been left.
The tone of the discussion is intellectual and one's enemies are "idiots", not "problematic"
All this requires is a penchant for longwindedness and an itchy blocking finger to remove anyone slinging ad hominems from the comments section.
On tumblr, it's as simple as conversations happening in the replies on a popular account and that person not tolerating suibaiting and threats.
(And make no mistake, a lot of LJ discussion was in the comments on popular accounts, not spread equally between everyone's.)
It does require that multiple people like that tone and want to engage in that way, but lots of people do want to.
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These days, I interact with tumblr by checking my askbox and reading my activity page. The vast, vast majority of my posts are ones where I'm the OP, so if I block someone, they're booted from the discussion entirely.
For me... yeah, Tumblr functions almost exactly like LJ.
Also like LJ, while I'm hosting the conversation, if you hang around, you'll see the same people again and again in the comments. They may or may not also host that kind of conversation in their space, and there's a larger pool of lurkers who have some notion of which people count as regulars. Other people are watching from the shadows, enjoying or deriding the takes of the usual crowd.
People presumably do like reading my lengthy commentary or they wouldn't be here, but my tumblr wouldn't be popular like this without a healthy pool of other people who chime in regularly. It's not just that there are more people: it's that you see the same people over time. There's a bit more sense of place and community than on some parts of the internet.
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So, in my opinion, the failure to just recreate LJ fandom on Tumblr was a skill issue.
Threaded comments were great, but LJ culture came from mailing lists, and mailing lists had the same issue as tumblr with the diverging threads.
We solved that back then by clipping out only the parts we wanted to respond to (you'd write "snip" around the quotation to show it was incomplete). We solved the smaller LJ issue by linking to other posts we were referencing and doing discussion link roundups. We solve it on tumblr by, again, linking to what we're talking about and even quoting multiple reblog chains in our own reblog of just one chain.
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Tumblr's technical features and even general crap-ness aren't really the problem. 90s and early 00s sites regularly went down for periods of time unthinkable today.
The missing piece is people.
When one is in an active fandom with others who curate or with friends who let one know what's up, a site with imperfect features is easy to figure out and retrofit for fandom's needs. When one already feels out of touch and is between fannish passions—or at least fannish passions anyone else cares about—seeing the potential in a new site is hard.
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Threaded comments are different and better.
LJ's built-in way to see everyone's blog in your own style was better. The automatic timestamps and the ease of seeing a paginated archive of an entire blog was better than tumblr's endless scroll and lack of clear date labeling. But some of that can be fixed with xkit or knowing your way around tumblr well.
A lot of it is nostalgia for the lj era and a refusal to take the time to figure out how to use tumblr in an oldschool internet way.
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So by all means, people, weigh in about what made LJ great or how the culture felt at the time...
But if I see one more god damn response going "You can't have a conversation on tumblr!" in reply to my tumblr, which contains nothing but conversation, I am coming for you.
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a story in which katsuki's bratty son tries to blackmail his mother! how terrible
— characters. katsuki, reader, katsuma (the son)
— contents. fluff, katsuma is a little shit
— word count. 600
— authors note. GJFCK MFGVFDXK GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDOMESTICTRASFJNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGJBJFNVDSLM
Your son is alot like his father, in good ways mostly.
He stands up for himself at school, and is mostly independent. For the most part, Katsuma was a pretty easy kid.
However, he can also be the most major little shit on the planet, much like in the situation you're in now.
He's learned what blackmail is, and he loves it.
You were in the kitchen, baking cookies, when you heard Katsuma’s voice from the living room. "Ma! What's this?" he yelled.
You turned to see your five-year-old holding the pregnancy test you had thrown away earlier.
Oh no.
Your heart skipped a beat. "Katsuma, where did you find that?" you asked, trying to stay calm.
"In the trash," he said with a mischievous grin. "I'm gon' tell Dad unless you give me extra cookies- and I wan' that brand new hero figurine at the store...AND I wan' my own bb gun- AND!!! I wan' a brand new pair of boo-"
"Katsuma." you sighed. You've known your son to be a major handful all his life, but also know realizing he did indeed have you in a tight spot.
"Katsuma, this is important. I wanted to tell your dad in a special way."
Katsuma pouted, crossing his arms. "Fine, but I still want extra cookies...and the figure...an' can I still have the bb gun?"
You sighed once more.
"Alright, you can have two extra cookies- AND the figurine... but you have to promise to keep this a secret for now," you said, hoping to buy some time.
"Deal," he said, his eyes gleaming with pride.
As you handed him the cookies, you couldn't help but feel frustrated, yet a bit amused. Katsuma was a lot like his father—brash, stubborn, and always wanting to be in control. You watched as he stuffed the cookies into his mouth, crumbs falling everywhere, and shook your head with a small smile.
Just then, you heard the front door open. Katsuki walked in, looking as intense as ever. "What's going on in here, hm?" he asked, sensing the tension.
Katsuma jumped in before you could speak. "Mom's got a secret, but she won't tell me!"
You shot a look at Katsuma, then turned to Katsuki. "It's not like that! I just…I found out something today and wanted to surprise you..."
Katsuki raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What's that?"
Taking a deep breath, you decided it was now or never. "Katsuki, I’m pregnant. We're having another baby."
For a moment, he just stared at you, processing the news. Then, a rare, genuine smile spread across his face. it was sadly short lived, and replaced with a smirk instead. "Oh really?".
Katsuma looked between the two of you, his earlier mischief forgotten. "So, does that mean I get a little brother or sister to boss around?"
"Katsuma, you will not be bossing your them around." you said, ruffling his hair. "You have to be a good big brother, okay?"
Katsuma's eyes widened. "I’ll be the best big brother ever! Can I teach them how to play hero games?"
You chuckled. "Sure, but you'll also need to help take care of them."
Katsuki walked over and pulled you into a gentle hug. "I'm really happy, you know," he said quietly. "This is good news."
You relaxed into his embrace, feeling a wave of relief. "I was so nervous about telling you."
He pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "Why? You know I’m always here for you, no matter what."
Katsuma tugged at Katsuki’s pant leg. "Dad, does this mean we need to buy more baby stuff?"
Katsuki laughed. "Yeah, it does. And you can help pick it out."
"Good! Yknow dad...when we go to the store,I wanted to see if you could buy me a new figurine..or a bb gun...or a brand new pair of boo-"
"No."
"Oh.. DAMNIT!"
The rest of the evening was filled with excited chatter about the new baby. Katsuma kept asking questions about what it would be like to have a sibling, while Katsuki suggested names and joked about teaching the new baby how to be tough like him.
Later, after dinner, you all sat together in the living room. Katsuma was snuggled between you and Katsuki, half-asleep from all the excitement.
Katsuki looked over at you, his expression softer than usual. "You know, I never imagined myself having a family like this," he admitted. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Me neither. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?"
He nodded, reaching over to squeeze your hand. "Yeah, we have. And it’s only going to get better from here."
#mha x reader#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki x you#bakugou x you#bakugo x you#mha x you#bnha smut#mha smut
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My live reactions to Harrow the Ninth
Continued from my pre-reading assumptions and post-reading thoughts about Gideon the Ninth
Everyone who said "Harrow the Ninth will take a while to make sense, be patient and it will pay off" was absolutely right! I made a lot of notes throughout with predictions, some of which were correct and some of which were... not.
Theories that were wrong:
The Emperor wiped Harrow's memory of Gideon
Gideon has spoken with The Body
The Body's eyes now appear yellow because they're Gideon's eyes
Harrow only sees her own eyes as black because she wiped her memory of Gideon, everyone else perceives them as gold
The Sleeper is The Body
The Sleeper is Gideon
"Ortus the First" is Gideon (the Ninth)
Harrow is haunted by Gideon
The picture in Camilla, Coronabeth, & Judith's shuttle is of Gideon
Cytherea's body moving around is a hallucination
Gideon's sword is haunted by the lyctor who established the Ninth House
I also did make some pretty good guesses, though. Here's some more of my notes that are just fun reactions!
"Her parents had... found out... about what she had done" SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER GIDEON'S VITAL ROLE IN THIS
This Teacher is a lot more helpful
there are advantages to having God himself as a father figure
"the grey-wrappered figures of Camilla Hect and Palamedes Sextus laid on the slabs in the mortuary" NO :(
bookmarking this other incomprehensible clue
it's that graffiti S that everyone drew in elementary school lol
"You had noticed at previous dinners that he did not like some particular vegetables, so you had put them all in." that's so petty, I love it
"said Camilla Hect" YAY
"the skull of someone who, soon after death or symptomatically during, had exploded" Palamedes!
Harrow never got actual sword training as a lyctor, did she? Now Camilla can help her!
"Nobody had seen you walk through that door [to The Tomb]. Nobody had watched you leave." GIDEON SAW AND THAT'S WHAT'S GOING TO CONVINCE HARROW THAT SHE'S NOT INSANE, EVENTUALLY
"What a destructive, romantic, ridiculous act. It was always a certain kind of ass who approached love like that" yeah it's a certain kind of stupid, heroic, selfless, etc. to make yourself forget the person you're in love with to protect them
"Harrow Nova" another alternate universe where Harrow is in Gideon's role?????
"they've got a hotshot new BARI star" oh my god it's a coffee shop au in space
SHE REMEMBERS GIDEON!!!!!!! (how??)
"You sawed open your skull rather than be beholden to someone. [...] Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it." AAAAAAAAA!!!!
"I was, and am, a grown man, and you both were neglected children" thank you Ortus for taking responsibility. actually a decent person
"What the fuck is going on?" yeah i feel u babe
"'The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,' she said, 'was the worry that I would soon be dead... and now I am dead, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.'" hell yeah!!
oh Ianthe was gaslighting her. yeah Gideon wreck her!
"you'd kept my sunglasses" awww
"I never made her look like that. She can't love me, even if I'd wanted her to." aw :( and she's still so devoted anyway
"Your art, not my strength, was the ultimate source of our victory." so Ortus does get to be a hero after all, in his own way!
"Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity" I remember seeing posts about this name now! lol
yeah it's a weird chain of people in other people's bodies (Gideon would love the innuendo)
"We needed your, ahem, genetic material" Ianthe was right, ew. Also Gideon is the daughter of God I guess?
"You watched us kill our cavaliers in cold blood, and none of them had to die." ok that is a pretty bad thing for him to do
the tragedy that Gideon only had John as a father for a few minutes, while Harrow had him as a father figure for months but didn't want that
"'my necromancer started an affair with your mother... not knowing I'd also been doing the same thing, using his body.' // I said, 'What the fuck.'" extremely valid reaction from Gideon
"Oh, we'll still hate each other, my dear, we have hated each other too long and too passionately to stop... but my bones will rest easy next to your bones." that's kinda romantic in its own way
to be fair, if John dies, the entire solar system of Dominicus dies
"We died" no actually I think you might be alive and being saved
???????? Another alternate reality memory thing??
Multiple notes about how Harrow might just be the way she is because of growing up in a temple with strict routine, no social interaction, and no variety of sensory input... but I'm headcanoning her as autistic. Also headcanoning Gideon as ADHD, and autism/ADHD gay couples are my favorite ships.
Tagging people who have been following along. I'm going to switch to not tagging people anymore after this, but tagging all posts as #violet reads tlt, and you can follow the tag. @procrastinationaccount @vivaciouscynner @pearlofmydreams @cursed-druid-girl @ghostly-atv
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Disrespectful .
Chapter five
Nora and Sienna were both over the attitude that took over the life of London. She was angry at everyone in the world and she had nobody to blame but herself.
They’d already crossed those lines so what was the point of having morals now? It was a question she asked herself everyday. She regrets telling him that they should’ve ended it because she hasn’t had a good day since.
She blames Roman. It was his fault. She was fine until he came and ruined her. He gave her an itch she couldn’t scratch and it was driving her insane. Her sex toys could only do so much. And James…. James couldn’t even scratch the surface of her sexual desires anymore. Before, James was enough; he got the job done.
But after having a taste of what Roman gave her, why would she settle for just getting the job done?
The worst part is, it was her who cut off their secret rendezvous and she didn’t know how to deal with the cards she dealt herself and since she couldn’t get her fix, she released her frustration with almost everyone around her: Nora, Sienna, James and it was even worse for everyone at work since she buried herself at work for a distraction.
At first, Nora thought it that her little sister’s attitude was going to pass after a couple of days but its been going on almost three months now and Nora didn’t know how long she could take it anymore.
London wasn’t the only one who blamed Roman; Nora and Sienna did too. It became very evident to the two of them that whatever those two had going on was taking a toll on London. So both girls were taking matters into their own hands. Nora and Sienna were determined to make them cross each other’s paths once again.
Who was it really hurting that they desired each other sexually? What their partners don’t know won’t kill ‘em right? And after those words left Sienna’s mouth, the girls knew exactly what they had to do.
Which brings them to now: Nora sitting in her car in front of London’s house going over the plan with Sienna over the phone.
“I’m sorry Sienna, I just don’t think three days is enough days. You don’t think you can push it to two weeks?”
Sienna scoffed, “Girl how the fuck do you expect me to distract Tiara for two weeks? The best I could do is a week and even that is pushing it. And plus, you’re worrying about the wrong thing, go try to get her to agree to the trip first and we’ll talk longevity later.” Sienna suggested.
Nora laughed because she already came to her decision for the both of them, “If the best you can do is a week then I’m gonna tell her it’s a week trip because a little weekend trip ain’t gon do shit. So Figure out what to do with Tiara cause I’m ending this angry streak by the end of the this week.”
Sienna agreed and after they hung up, Nora got out of her car to walk to London’s door. She didn’t know what to expect when she got there but when she knocked on the door, she wasn’t really expecting to hear an argument behind the door.
Damn. London was hellbent on letting everyone feel her wrath.
When James opened the door, Nora took pity on the tired look on his face. But she only kind’ve felt bad for James in this situation; there wasn’t really much she could do when it came to those two anyways. She still flashed him a smile when he opened the door wider for her because unbeknownst to him, she was about to fix this problem.
“I’m sorry Nora, Now really isn’t a good time.” James tried but Nora held her hand in the air to silence him, she came here on her own mission and she wasn’t going to let James close the door in her face.
"Nonsense; seems like the perfect time to me. Where’s my sister?" She questioned but London let herself e known by her yelling.
"And just what the fuck am I supposed to do when you leave James? You knew I was going to take my vacation with you and now all of a sudden they need you of all people to go to an open house?"
Nora flashed him another smile before entering into the house to find her sister in the living room. "Well what’s going on in here?" Nora asked, raising an eyebrow at the mess that was in the living room with clothes being thrown all over the place.
"She’s upset because she wants to take a vacation but I can’t. I haven’t sold any property in five months, I don’t want to pass up on the opportunity to bring home some money - I’m sorry."
“It would’ve been different James, if you had no idea of my plans, but you fuckin knew!” London argues, dismissing his attempt to apologize.
“Babe I can’t just drop everything just because you want me to.”
“So you don’t wanna go out with me even though you make your own schedule?”
James let out another sigh and walks away from the living room, this argument was going nowhere and he was tired. London scoffed as she watched James walk away, ignoring her question. She couldn’t believe this was even an argument.
“Talk about a coincidence.” Nora states with a smirk on her face.
The statement caused London to turn around and face her sister, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Girl what the hell are you talking about?”
“Girl, I literally came here to ask if you wanted to take a sisters trip to Houston. Just you and me playing catch up, ya know?” Nora explains and shrugs at her sister. “What better time than now huh?”
“And since when you been thinking of this?” London questions.
“ I seen how stressed out you’ve been lately and I want to help you, I hate seeing you so stressed out. Plus…” she steps closer to her little sister and lowers her voice so she wouldn’t be heard. “I know you don’t really want to spend an entire week with James right now, so let’s just go and enjoy ourselves okay?”
It really didn’t take a lot of convincing on Nora’s end to get London to agree to go out. As horrible as it was to admit, her sister was right… She really didn’t want to go anywhere with James; but he’s been claiming how weird she’s been with him, and she wanted to do to something to make up for her bad mood swings. She couldn’t help it though, she needed an outlet to let out her frustrations.
She’s more than thankful for her sister coming to the rescue. Hopefully this trip could get her mind off you know who.
Unbeknownst to London, Nora was quick to send out a text to Sienna to let her know that the plan was going as planned so far.
we’re good on our end, Get started on your end.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Roman was confused when he got a random call from Khalid asking him to get away for a while. It wasn’t like him to isolate himself, but he can only guess him and Sienna were into it because Tiara had told him that Sienna had invited her out to New York for some kind of fashion week.
He originally decline, but Tiara convince him to go; stating that Khalid just needed a friend, the same way Sienna needed a friend. So here he was, in Houston, Texas, at a Ritz hotel, wondering what in the world could Sienna have done to make Khalid supposedly so angry.
“So what made you run away?” Roman asked during their game of call of duty.
Khalid raised an eyebrow at the random question. “Huh?”
“How come you’re in Texas and Sienna’s in New York? What made y’all run 1500 miles away from each other?” Roman asked again.
Oh. Right. Khalid almost forgot his wife sent him here on a mission.
“How do you know she’s in New York? I thought she was back home.” Khalid questioned, tilting his head to the side in confusion.
“Tiara caught a flight to New York a couple hours before I flew out myself, She’s the one who told me they were going to New York. Anyways, you didn’t answer my question; what made you run away? Why are we in Texas instead of Florida?.” Roman questioned him again for the third time.
Khalid wondered if he presented Roman’s own problems, if he would catch on. “I’m in Texas because I need space to think about our relationship. I don’t wanna hear any speeches or anything but… I cheated on Sienna and I think she knows.”
Khalid paused the game and turn to face Roman to continue spewing out bullshit. “I don’t know what to do now.”
Roman nodded his head because he understood - sometimes life doesn’t happen the way you expect it to. “Unfortunately, I know how you feel.” Roman reveals and Khalid raises his eyebrow in faux shock.
“You cheated on Tiara?”
“Something like that. I’ll take my faults, it’s wrong because I’m married but there’s nothing wrong with exploring for a bit; as long as you find your way back home. At least that’s what I did.” Roman confessed.
“If you could go back in time and take it back, would you?” Khalid questioned and the heavy silence that took over the room really answered his question but Khalid wanted Roman to really get it off his chest. “It’s just between you and me bro… do you regret it?”
“No.” Roman finally answers, but the look in his eyes is very distant, almost as if he was lost in thought. “I know I don’t sound like a committed husband but if I had the chance to do it again with the person who I did it with; I would.”
Khalid let out a hum and nodded his head to let Roman know he was listening. And he was, that confession was all he needed to move forward with his wife’s plans.
______________________________________
London, let herself relax in the hotel bed, a soft sigh escaping her lips as the silence of the room helped her feel so relax. If only her mind was as quiet as the room; her mind going to the one man who couldn’t escape her thoughts matter how hard she tried.
She hasn’t seen him since that last dinner because she knew she wasn’t going to be able to stand on business. London was a prideful woman, she was never going to admit how much she regret her decision on cutting him off.
Why the fuck do you keep thinking about him anyway? This has to stop. It’s what she’s been telling herself for these past couple of months and she still couldn’t do it.
She finds herself missing him in the weirdest times. If she’s in a boring meeting, she’ll reminisce on the time where he text her to keep her entertained. If she went out to to eat, she missed his endless compliments or even the risky freaky shit he would pull with her, like fingering her under the table when the waitress came back to ask if everything was okay. She especially missed the sex… damn did she miss the sex.
Roman took his time to learn her body, he found out what she liked and he even introduced her to new things that she found herself loving. Sex with Roman was always exciting; especially when he would fuck her in places where she usually wouldn’t let herself do those kinds of activities: in her office, backseat of his car with or without his chauffeur… almost one time in the locker room - Roman never cared. If he desired her, he was going to to have her and she missed the feeling.
Missed feeling desirable, missed the funny moments between the two of them… she missed her friendship with Roman. He was her friend first and she missed her friend.
“Okay girl; I’m over this little rut that you’ve been having. It’s time for us to go out and shake some ass, Let’s go!” Nora exclaimed when she busted into London’s room.
“What the fuck do I look like going to the club to shake some ass as a married woman?” London questioned with a confused look on her face.
Nora scoffed and rolled her eyes, “When did being married mean you can’t be outside and shake some ass?”
London let out a tire sigh, “I just wanna relax. Maybe call a masseuse to give us a massage. I’m away from home and I’d really like to enjoy it.”
“You’d really enjoy it if you stop fighting me and go out with me.” Nora retorted and London sat up and squinted her eyes in suspicion at her older sister.
“What you got up yo sleeve Nora?” She questioned, getting straight to the point.
Nora exhaled and walked towards her sister to take a seat on the bed. “London, I know you won’t talk about what’s bothering you and I respect that; can you just respect that it hurts me to see you like that? I’ve been taking care of you for the longest, I always know when you need a break, why don’t you just let me help you?”
Albeit everything she was saying was true, Nora knew she had to lay it on thick for London to agree to go out with her. London’s eyes scan Nora’s face and took in her expression, the sadden look in her sister’s eyes is what made her drop her shoulders in defeat.
“Fine. But if I’m not enjoying myself after an hour; I’m leaving.”
Nora flashed her blinding smile, nodding her head to agree with her conditions “Great! I’ll go get ready and you can meet me downstairs okay?” She didn’t even let London respond as she rushed out of the room in excitement. London, huffed as she let herself flop backwards onto the bed, she just hope she doesn’t regret this.
______________________________________
After London finished getting dressed for her night out with her sister; she stood in front of the mirror touching up on her make up as she thought about ways she could convince her sister to let her come home early.
Her phone going off, snapped her out of her thoughts and she turned to see who was calling: Nora. “Hello?”
“Hey, did you leave your room yet?”
“No, I’m about to leave though; I’m coming downstairs right now.” London explained.
“Before you come downstairs, can you go to my room and grab me a pair of sandals? I forgot to grab it.”
“Why can’t you just go and grab it?” London asked in annoyance.
“London, you’re already upstairs; can you just please?” Nora begged and London let’s out a groan before agreeing.
“Great, my room is on the fifth floor, room 26. I think housekeeping is still cleaning the mess I made so just knock okay?” And without any other explanation Nora hung up the phone.
She’s been so demanding since we got here, I thought she wanted me to have a good time? London thought to herself. The entire elevator ride to the floor above hers she thought about what the fuck was going on with Nora in the first place.
The last time Nora took London on a sister trip, it was to break the news that she was getting a divorce. What type of bad news did she have to break to me now? She wondered. Her mind was running through all the possibilities of what could have her sister acting so weird while she off the elevator to look for room 26.
She let out a small huff because she was drawing a blank, she’ll just have to ask her sister why the fuck she was acting to weird when she got downstairs. She knocked on the door and waited for housekeeping to open the door.
Didn’t she give me her keycard? London asked herself, she remembers them giving each other keycard when they got here. Before London could give look in her clutch to search for the hotel keycard, the door finally opened and when she looked up she felt all the breath in her lungs leave her body.
“Roman?” She breathed out in disbelief. Her mind had to be playing tricks on her.
Roman himself froze as he stared at the woman in front of him. There’s no way she was standing in front of him right now. “London… what-“ he trailed off because he really didn’t know what to say.
It’s been almost three months since they last seen each other, the feeling of shock is what keeping them frozen in their spot.
“What are you doing here?” London finally asks, her mind racing because seeing him did nothing but resurface those feelings she was reminiscing about earlier. Did he have a show here? She questioned. That could be the only reason he’s here right?
“Khalid brought me here. Him and Sienna are going through it.” He answered.
Nora set me up, she brought me out here and set this whole thing up.
Everything was making sense, because even if Khalid and Sienna were going through it, Khalid wouldn’t have left Florida. They set her up, and her body was yearning to just touch him.
“You know they set us up right?” He states, and yeah. If she was going to be pushed in this direction anyways, she didn’t give a damn about the consequences anymore.
“Are we going to take advantage of the opportunity?” London asked softly and it wasn’t something the two had to really think about. They’ve denied themselves what they really wanted for long enough, and if their friends were going to push them into each other’s arms, who were they to fight what everyone else thought they needed too.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Roman and London lost themselves in each other like they usually did, but the feeling wasn’t the same as it was before.
What was so different about tonight?
There was something more profound than lust and sexual tension lingering in the air between them. When Roman pulled her into the room, their lips immediately push against the other and instead of the fast kissing they were used to, it was slow…sensual.
When they broke apart they stared into each other’s eyes. The lines of their friendship was blurred with the unexplainable feeling they were feeling for each other in the moment, they couldn’t pinpoint what that feeling was exactly.
But it’s what made London grab his neck and pull him back down to her. Their lips brushed against one another’s and the hesitation made London pull away but Roman made the choice to close the gap between them. London’s helpless moan slipped from her lips and she melted into the embrace, pushing her body against him as if to make them one.
The taste of him was intoxicating, it was one of the things she missed about him.
Roman led the two to his bed, and London made herself comfortable in his lap. Her hands caressing his shoulders and eventually moved her hands over his strong arms as their lips smothered each others again.
Chills ran through her body when he trailed his hands up her thigh to grip onto her ass, that’s when she knew this was real. She’d fall victim to daydreaming - especially when her and James were trying to get into it but she’d always come back to reality. But this… this was reality. James never touched her like that.
His hands were roaming her body as if taking in this moment would be her last. Her body was vulnerable to his touch, and she could hear her heart beat drum in her ears.
The sweet feeling of his warm body mixed with the throbbing between her legs radiated more than a positive feeling of intense pleasure of her brain. She didn’t know if it was possible to feel the way she felt at the moment: fuzzy at the brain, and warm at the heart.
They didn’t want to rush the moment, especially since it was something her sister wanted to bless them with. Upon seeing her outfit, he fell into their old routine.
“You look like an Angel.” He softly murmured in her ear before he started undressing her. “Most beautiful thing on Earth and It’s all for me isn’t it?”
And there it was, that feeling she was missing rushing back into her lungs almost as she deeply inhaled his words, that feeling of wanting to feel desirable. That feeling from earlier returned but it wasn’t a feeling she could identify at the moment so she focused on the feelings she could.
At the impulse decision of the moment, their bare bodies touched each other’s. As soon as Roman was submerged within her, she swallowed up some of his thick inches with pride and contentment. Undoubtably, her eyes flickered to the back of her head, her lips separated, and her back arched off the bed and pressed to his chest. Being so close to him, was enough to send her body into a frenzy of different emotions. Not only because it felt so good, but because it was him. Because it was Roman.
There’s synchronized movements were coupled. London’s fingernails, digging into his back and the sound of her soft moans only seasoned the moment for the both of them. She pulled his head between the crook of her neck and let her heavy pants fill his ear.
At her own allowance, she caught a sweaty grip onto his arms and extended her legs wider to pull him in deeper than before. She wanted all of it, all of him. She wasn’t holding back on taking anything he was willing to give her; she’s gone long enough without it.
Their lips met again, and while he sucked on her tongue, she let out whimpers of pleasure into the air. Roman had to give himself a silent, prep talk to encourage himself not to cum too fast, it’s been a while since he’s been in her and her wetness was driving him crazy.
He knew what she wanted without her, having to ask for it. The passionate quickening of his strokes, promoted her to tango, her legs around his torso. Her arms in case themselves around his neck; she held onto him for dear life. Her cries of pure delight escalated be on guidance. He fucked her soul into oblivion like he’s done before. She would have never imagined herself calling out God’s name, but she did just that, screeching to the heavens, while she let that dick dominate her cloudy mind and rock her entire existence into a temporary state of belief.
Without any separation between them, they painted all of their essence all over the bed. Roman could feel her in every pulsing vein in his body until he’d consumed all that was left of her.
They were both so lost in the moment that it didn’t register to either of them that a condom was initiated and neither of them seemed to care when Roman groaned into her ear and emptied himself in her. It only made London tighten her legs around his body and keep him trapped in between her legs and she welcomed the feeling of his fluids filling her up.
Never again. She wasn’t letting Roman leave her ever again. If this was wrong, she never wanted to be right. Ever.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Whew😩 this chapter went exactly how I wanted it to. I’m sorry it’s such a long read😩 I just couldn’t break it up. You guys won’t wait that long for the next chapter 😭 I promise.
As per usual please comment and gimme some love 🥹💙
Tagging the lovelies: @whatdoeseverybodywant @theninthwonder @christinabae @2-muchsauce @alichesmi @pitlissa22 @sassginawanmills @harmshake @po3ticb3auty @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @dershalover89 @serena004 @reci1996 @scarlettnoir01 @kill-the-artiste @southerngirl41 @badbitchcentralinc @reignsboy19 @mzv11 @cyberdejos2 @msbigredmachine @msniaimani @skyesthebomb @wanderingreigns @katymae12344 @bebesobrielo @alyyaanna @raya-hunter01
#empressdede#empresswriting#wwe#black reader#disrespectful#roman reigns#roman reigns x black oc#roman reigns x oc#roman reigns x black reader
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Title: When My Mind Is Wandering (There I Will Go)
Author: rachelindeed
Artist: sidewinder
Rating: Teen and Up
Summary: Finale fix-it: In order to save Dean's life, Cas has to temporarily take him as a vessel. While Dean's body heals, they decide to explore what a life outside of hunting could look like. On a volunteer trip a few towns over, they are reminded of the beauty of community. And as Cas's thoughts mix with his own, Dean learns how freeing it can be to see himself through the eyes of someone who loves him.
Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, minor background Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Consensual Possession, Angelic Possession (Supernatural), Developing Relationship, Romance, Healing, Fix-It, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On (Supernatural), Post-Finale
Posting on June 25
Keep reading for a short excerpt.
It wasn't just senses, emotions, and words that flowed back and forth: memories joined the tango, too. Dean could always tell which were Cas's by the hyper-focused detail. Angelic memories weren't tied to the data limits of human brains, so they held onto everything like fancy honking celestial IMAX cameras. When Dean remembered some conversation they'd had years ago, it was the normal kind of approximation where he could paraphrase some key things said, tell you if there'd been rain or sun, maybe grasp a general image of how Cas had looked in the moment. Meanwhile, Cas could still count the raindrops on the driver's side window, still see the tiny shadows on Dean's face as his eyelashes caught the light.
It was kind of funny seeing himself that way, but honestly, not as freaky as he might have expected. Sure, the fact that Cas had perfect recall and instant replay on every stupid thing that'd ever come out of his mouth was not ideal. But Dean had been prepared for something a little more…acid rock? Psychedelic? Far out? He’d kind of figured he wouldn't be getting out of this without staring down the gullet of his own soul. And it's not that he'd wanted to look at that mess on the regular, but just once might have been cool. Just to know.
Turned out, though, that 'seeing' souls was a matter of multi-dimensional fusion, and Cas couldn't plug Dean's eyes into that. It'd be like trying to teach his ears to taste or his nose to hear.
"OK. But what's it look like, anyhow?" he asked Cas. "My soul?" It was late, very late, on their last night at the hospital. Physical therapy had been its usual unpleasant cocktail of boredom and misery. The headache radiating back-to-front across his skull was screaming at him to bust out, get drunk, just move. But going home felt like starting the timer back up on figuring out his life, and he wasn't ready for that either. So he brought it up because he could, and he was curious. Maybe you could call it fishing for compliments, too; so sue him.
He'd had a rotten day, but Cas thought he was beautiful. They were living in each other’s thoughts, there was no hiding that. Whatever Cas saw in his soul, Dean was betting it'd be just a bit poetic. Stars, fireworks, snow on a mountainside; vague grandeur, the type of stuff somebody might print for a calendar.
But Cas was lost for words. He did his best to find Dean an answer; focused for sincere, silent minutes on crafting some apt description or honest comparison. Dean felt him shiver—a tiny, charged, silvery thing. But in the end, a little helpless, he only said:
It looks like you.
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Living with The Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 7
Chapter: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven
Read this fic on AO3 (Link)
Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.
…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.
Chapter Summary: Tav learns some surprising things about Raphael's past and drunkenly confesses her thoughts and feelings to him. Meanwhile, her friends pay her house a visit to find the Orphic Hammer.
AN: Raphael's little lovestory is taken directly from my one chapter fic called "Portrait of a Cambion" which goes into depth with my slightly depressing headcanon about his past lovelife. It's not necessary to read to understand anything going on it this fic, but you might find some interesting similarities between his former love interest in that fic and our dear Tav (In my head that fic is like a prelude to his obsession in this one)
Tav had been trapped in her own mind since Raphael had left and it was not a nice place to be. She had spent the majority of her life in her own company before the whole tadpole business, and still, she had never felt quite so alone as she did now.
She spent the day sitting in bed, thinking. Thinking about her situation, the last couple of days, Raphael’s reaction earlier in the day, the things Korrilla had said, the crushing thought of the possibility that she might not be able to escape, and the even more crushing thought that a small part of her did not really want to escape…
There were a lot of thoughts and a lot of anxiety to catch up on now that she finally had a moment of solitude to take all of it in. It was suffocating her. It came as a blessing when Raphael returned home and granted her a distraction from it.
She found him in his human form, sitting on a sofa with a stack of papers in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. As soon as he saw her enter, he snapped the papers out of existence and looked up at her with a smile.
“There you are,” he purred and gestured to the spot beside him. “Please, sit with me.”
She sat down. He poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her.
“Did you enjoy your little moment of peace?” he asked.
She sipped the wine with an empty stare, still caught up in her thoughts until she realized he had asked her a question.
“Yes, sure,” she answered quietly. “It was nice...”
Raphael gave her a smile that told her he knew she was lying, but he decided not to push it.
“It was not my intention to scare you so much earlier,” he said instead.
Tav blinked and then glared at him.
“I thought you once said that you never lie,” Tav challenged.
Raphael chuckled at that.
“There is that brave woman I know again,” he said and sipped his wine. “I am not lying. Yes, I did, of course, intend to remind you that there are rules in this house. I would be lying if I said that I did not enjoy seeing you rattled and that I did not use your fear to my advantage. However, I did not expect it to have the effect that it had. Korrilla told me you were almost inconsolable…”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Tav answered coldly.
“Hm,” Raphael hummed. “Suit yourself.”
His arm was resting over the backrest of the sofa, and he brushed his fingers gently through the ends of her hair. She swept her hair over her shoulder and away from him. His eyes narrowed slightly at the gesture.
“How was your day?” Tav asked to distract him from it.
“Uneventful,” he said and took a sip of his wine. “Aside from the obvious, that is.”
They small-talked for a while. Each time Tav had finished her glass of wine, Raphael would pour her a new one. Tav knew that he was trying to get her guard down, but she found that she did not care.
It was nice to just drink and forget about all the things that had haunted her throughout the day, and she found that it also made it easier for her to talk more freely with him. She noticed by the time she was well tipsy that Raphael barely seemed changed at all.
“Can you even get drunk?” Tav asked with curiosity.
“I can,” Raphael answered. “Though it would take quite a lot of wine to achieve the level you are currently at.”
He gave her a teasing smile.
“How much?” Tav asked, squinting at him with a smile.
“I could go through a quarter of my wine cellar before you would see me starting to slur and stumble about,” he answered.
“That sounds like a challenge,” Tav said.
“Planning to get me drunk, are you?” Raphael said with a laugh. “I’m afraid that I have outgrown that sort of thing. One does such foolish things when under the influence. You of all people should know that. It’s how you ended up here.”
“To be fair, I can’t imagine it’s that common of a thing to wake up in chains and half-naked in a devil’s house after a night out,” Tav said and took another sip of her wine.
“I think you’d be surprised…” Raphael purred with a suggestive smile, before turning the conversation towards another topic. “I am curious about something, if you would indulge me…What was it that drew you to going home with Cassius back then?”
Tav sighed quietly. She might have been tipsy, but she still noticed how odd he seemed to still be about her trying to protect Cassius from his punishment. She also knew that if she pointed out her suspicions about him being jealous, it would only achieve pissing him off.
“Honestly?” Tav said. “I was drunk and missed having some company, I suppose. It really wasn’t much deeper than that.”
“Hm,” he hummed and looked at her. “Is that something you have done a lot of? Blindly following strangers home to sleep with them?”
“Occasionally,” Tav answered with a shrug. “Just to…you know, sate urges and all that.”
Raphael’s smile widened.
“There has been no regular partners or sweethearts, that could help you sate those urges?” he asked.
“No,” she answered. “I never really dabbled in all of that…”
“Oh?” Raphael said. He seemed surprised by her answer. “Do you expect me to believe that someone whose favorite book is one of the most popular love stories of this age, has never been in love?”
“Not really. Perhaps when I was younger,” she answered with a shrug and swirled the wine around in her glass. “I’ve preferred my own company for the most of my life.”
Until now, she almost said, but stopped herself. Raphael did not need to know that his attempt of isolating her was working wonders. She wanted to change the topic away from her.
“What about you?” she asked. It almost sounded like a joke rather than a serious question because she felt like she already knew the answer. “Have you ever loved someone?”
Raphael raised an eyebrow at the question.
“Once. Many years ago,” Raphael answered coldly, though there was an edge of bitterness hidden in his words. “A mistake I certainly learned from…”
Tav could not hide the look of surprise on her face. He looked like he was serious.
“I thought devils didn’t—"
“They don’t,” Raphael interrupted and smiled. “Not in any way you would understand at least. Our definition of love is quite different from what you mortals would find ideal or even healthy.”
Tav was still a bit dumbfounded. She was just looking at him with a puzzled expression, holding her empty wine glass.
“Does that surprise you?” Raphael asked and gently took the empty glass from her to pour her more wine.
Tav blinked slightly and returned to reality.
“It does…” she mumbled. “Can I…ask you about it or is it a sore subject?”
“Oh please, don’t take me for some soft-hearted mortal, dear,” Raphael said with slight offense, though he was still smiling. “Ask your questions.”
He handed her back the now full wineglass. She looked down at its contents while she was thinking.
“Was he or she a devil too?”
“No,” Raphael answered, surprising her even more. “She was a mortal woman. A human…like yourself.”
The tone of the ‘like yourself’ comment gave her butterflies in her stomach, and she was quick to snuff out the feeling as soon as she felt it.
“Who was she?” Tav asked.
“She was a potential client in the beginning. A painter that had managed to anger the mercenary government of the city she resided in. She achieved this by plastering posters around the city that critiqued the leadership. Needless to say, they wanted her dead and like the savior I am, I of course offered to lend her a hand with getting safely out of the city.”
“So, she gave you her soul, right?” Tav asked.
Raphael made a short laughing sound.
“She all but spat in my face, the stubborn wench. She told me that she would take her chances. To my great annoyance, she did survive and fled to her father’s home far away from the city. However, that did not deter me from still trying to present a deal to her. She might have fled, but the city’s mercenaries would not forget her so easily.”
“Did you succeed?” Tav asked. “Did she give in eventually?”
“She did not, though she grew to like me. She taught me how to paint, as a compensation for the time I wasted on her. I suppose, I grew to admire her during those sessions…She fascinated me and my time with her became a welcome refugee from my endless duties to my father at the time…She really was a remarkable painter as well. She made some of the paintings you see on my walls.”
He just kept surprising her.
“You kept some of her paintings?” Tav asked.
“I did,” Raphael answered.
“I don’t mean to be rude but…I would never have thought of you as sentimental like that,” Tav said quietly.
“I don’t keep them out of sentimentality,” he was quick to say. “I keep them as a reminder of what happens when one gets distracted with pointless pursuits such as matters of the heart.”
“Well…” Tav said. “What happened?”
“As I said, I got distracted and my dear father noticed. I still lived in Cania, you see. The privilege of having lovers or consorts is only reserved for Archdevils. My father saw it as me getting distracted from my purpose of gaining more souls for him, and as me overreaching my station. He put an end to it.”
Tav looked at him. He seemed so cold and nonchalant while telling her this, but she felt that she could see a glimmer of something behind those brown eyes of his.
“He killed her?” Tav asked quietly.
Raphael was quiet for a moment too long. He was staring emptily at the floor as if he was reliving it.
“Not quite,” he said. “He made a warlock of his reveal her whereabouts to the mercenaries hunting her. I found the corpses of her and her father the next time I visited…I burned the house down with them in it…”
“I’m sorry,” Tav said quietly before even thinking.
He looked up at her and narrowed his eyes.
“Feeling sorry for people who have knowingly made the mistakes that landed them in their despair is a useless pursuit, little mouse,” he said darkly. “I never should have let myself feel what I did or at the very least I should have known the consequences and taken the necessary precautions to keep her safe…I was too young and too naïve…”
Raphael sighed and they were both quiet for a moment. Tav was not sure what to say. She was oddly touched by his story.
Raphael looked at her, seemingly taking in her features with an expression that was hard to read. He reached over and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and this time she did not move away from his touch.
She opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind and closed it. The alcohol made her want to talk about subjects that she knew sober-her would regret. Raphael noticed her little gesture and smiled at her.
“What is it, dear?”
“Nothing,” she said and shook her head. “I’m drunk.”
“You are,” Raphael purred. “The things you and I have done, and you are still too shy to speak freely with me.”
Tav opened her mouth again and then closed it again before she decided on saying what she wanted to.
“It’s just…” Tav said and sighed. “You are so infuriatingly confusing.”
Raphael chuckled.
“Am I?” he asked. “How so?”
Then the floodgates opened and Tav started rambling.
“You tell me that the whole reason for all of this is to eventually kill all of my friends and then me. Then, you have very angry revenge sex with me. Then you almost kill me, but you save me, and you are really weirdly nice about my scars. Then, we have sex again, but this time it’s not angry, it’s oddly tender and sweet…”
Raphael’s smile was widening the more she started rambling.
“And you mess with my head by gifting me my favorite book and you don’t even mention it, even though it was a really sweet gesture. Then today you don’t brutally torture me for doing something I’m not supposed to, but you were however, once again, being weird about the fact that I did not want another person to get brutally tortured. And now you tell me this incredibly devastating story about how you lost someone you loved…”
Tav sighed in frustration as she was finishing her drunken rant.
“I mean what the fuck?” she mumbled to herself.
Raphael opened his mouth to say something, but Tav decided that she was indeed not finished rambling.
“No and you know what? It makes me feel so stupid and confused because I cannot figure out what is going on. I should be hating you but instead I found myself missing you today and you-…you are fucking doing it on purpose!” Tav said with a bit of anger and pointed at his smug face accusingly. “I know you are! You are trying to manipulate me, and I’m aware that you are, but I still find myself liking you! I know you are playing me like fiddle, but I still find myself wanting to be near you. Wanting your attention. Wanting you to kiss me on the mouth instead of just on my neck and all those little stupid little things that you tease me with to make me like you! I—”
“Do you want me to?” Raphael asked calmly with an amused smile, looking at her lips.
“To what?” Tav asked, annoyed at getting interrupted in her drunken rant.
“Kiss you,” he said and leaned in slightly closer.
“Oh, and now you’re just trying to shut me up and not even address—”
He interrupted her by pulling her into a kiss and she felt her heart beating ten times faster. She melted into him, despite herself. Her fingers tangled in his hair, like his were in hers. It was a hungry and passionate kiss. It felt as if they had both been waiting a long time for it.
All her worries seemed to melt away for a moment as she got lost in him.
Astarion sighed tiredly and leaned up against a wall while he watched Gale work at trying to remove the magical protection on Tav’s house. Gale had a look of pure concentration on his face while he tried to figure out what kind of warding magic was guarding her house.
“Gods, you look silly waving your arms about like that,” Astarion commented. “I could never be a wizard.”
Gale ignored him. Astarion sighed dramatically at the lack of reaction from him.
“What is taking you so long?” Astarion asked impatiently. “And what is she even trying to protect in there? Her dusty old books?”
“Some of those ‘dusty old books’ are very rare and very precious tomes, and many wizards would love to get their hands on some of them, which is why this is taking so long,” Gale said, frustrated with Astarion’s impatience. “She has taken all precautions to keep them safe.”
Astarion looked at him with a tired expression.
“Why is it even necessary that I am here if it’s all guarded by magic?” Astarion asked.
“Because I suspect the lock will be protected somehow. A simple Knock spell probably won’t work on it. It has to be lockpicked, which most likely will not be an easy task for you either,” Gale said. “As I said, she has taken all precautions.”
Astarion started pacing around in circles behind Gale.
“This seems like an awful lot of work to put into retrieving a hammer that we cannot even bring to her,” Astarion said.
“It’s not about bringing it to her,” Gale explained while squinting at the glowing magic on the door. “It’s about making sure we have it and that it is safe. If she is wearing the same constructs as Prince Orpheus, then that hammer is her only way out of Raphael’s claws. We should keep it close, just in case.”
“It seems perfectly safe where it is, given that we cannot even get to it!” Astarion said with a hand gesture that accidentally knocked over a potted plant that was placed on a pillar beside the door.
Gale winced at the sound of it crashing to the ground but did not move his eyes away from what he was doing.
Astarion looked down at the broken flowerpot and dirt that was now sprawled on the ground. He saw something in the dirt and leaned down to pick it up.
“Move,” Astarion said and moved in front of Gale.
“What are you—?”
Astarion placed the key he had found into the keyhole of the door. It made the lock glow and the door unlocked.
“She didn’t take all precautions it seems,” Astarion said with a smile and walked inside.
Gale huffed and followed. He used a spell to light up the candles she had around her house.
Once light fell over the living room, the both of them stared at the shelf where they had seen the Orphic Hammer on the other few times they had visited her.
Astarion pointed to the empty shelf and then looked at Gale with a furrowed brow.
“That seems…not good…” Astarion said.
Gale made a sharp inhale and tried to calm himself.
“Perhaps she has simply redecorated,” Gale said, sounding like he did not even believe in that himself. “We need to search through every corner of her house. It has to be here.”
Their kissing session had unsurprisingly made them end up in Raphael’s bed. They had sex and it had once again felt oddly loving and sweet.
Tav was resting against Raphael’s chest with his arms around her. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. She felt so comfortable. Her drunkenness made her overthink the situation less for once and she felt so content.
She had butterflies in her stomach from it all. She could worry about the reality of it all tomorrow. Tonight, she wanted to pretend that everything was fine and just enjoy his sweet attentions.
She tightened the grip of the arm she had around his waist, pulling him closer and nuzzling her head against his chest. It earned her a satisfied groan that almost sounded like a purr from him. She felt him burying his nose in her hair, inhaling deeply, and taking in her scent before leaving another kiss.
“You should sleep, dearest,” he purred against the top of her head.
That was a new one, Tav thought. He had never called her anything other than ‘dear’ or ‘mouse’. ‘Dearest’ made her heart beat slightly faster again.
“Mm,” she mumbled and traced her fingers over his stomach. “In a little while. I’m not in any rush to feel the headache I’m going to have tomorrow.”
He began massaging her scalp with his hand. It felt like heaven.
She kept lazily tracing patterns on his stomach until she suddenly heard Gale’s frantic voice in her mind.
“The hammer is gone. We searched your entire house, and it’s gone, Tav. We won’t stop looking, but we cannot find it.”
She froze.
“Something wrong?” Raphael asked softly. She could have sworn she felt him smile against the side of her head.
Cassius was the first suspect to spring to mind. He had motive to steal the hammer from her house, but he would never have succeeded entering with his very limited knowledge of magic. No. That was not it.
The uncomfortable truth clicked in her mind. Raphael had not made a fuss about her contacting her friends and he had very suddenly had a change of heart about her being guarded day and night. When he was teaching her to play the organ, he had seemed so happy for some reason and something he said echoed in her mind:
‘I closed a deal that has been quite the headache for me and successfully retrieved something of mine.’
Her heart started beating faster again, but now out of anxiety instead of infatuation. She was suddenly very sober. He had made a deal with someone with enough magical knowledge to break into her house and remove her only chance at escape.
She tried to slow her breathing and act calm.
“No no…” she mumbled. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“You know,” Raphael said and placed another soft kiss on the top of her head. “It is quite easy to know when someone is receiving a sending spell…”
Her blood ran cold.
“People have a tendency to stop breathing, when they are listening intently, you see,” he said. “And given the way your heart is pounding, I take it your dear friends visited your house and came out empty-handed…am I wrong?”
She did not answer, which made Raphael chuckle and whisper in her ear:
“Are the puzzle pieces starting to come together, love?”
#raphael bg3#raphael the cambion#bg3 raphael#raphael x tav#raphael bg3 fic#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction
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"something about you" ellie x reader
Reader entering a convenience store and falling in love with cashier Ellie;
a/n: Hello everyone, I'd like to give you guys some warnings before reading my very first fanfic bc I just want to create a good space for everyone 😭 English is not my native language so I'd be very glad if you contact me if you find any grammar mistake bc not only that but I also wear glasses and now everything is blurring pls send help (jk) so pls be nice!!!
c/w: It's just loser!ellie and loser!reader bc I know what you are... only a fluff fanfic to warm your hearts, cursing? reader pronouns are she/her so I hope this is not a problem, I also avoided giving reader some appearance description bc i wanted everyone to feel included, but i'll tell you if i change something, but reader wears glasses bc i wear it too but i promise this is not a self insert fanfic pls. That's all i guess... enjoy :)
♡ chapter one!
A cold wind fell apart on your figure as you climbed the street to reach your usual route to your classes. You could start feeling your throat drying by that whole awful climbing, wondering how old people living nearby could walk on that climb in such an easy path, but you also wondered with your own thoughts:
"Maybe I'm the old one..." As you tried to find in your memory the last time you stepped into a gym and lightened up a nervous grin, "I've never stepped into a gym." Your voice echoed in your head, so disappointed... with your own choices.
The dry throath was scratching and begging for the smallest water particle. Fortunately, you were always carrying your thermos in your bag, but unfortunately, you forgot it that day. "Amazing, really." you muttured while a deep breath let out of your nostrils.
Your feet walked you until a convenience store nearby, speding the whole walk wondering if buying a bottle of water was really necessary, but the guilt of your annual goal of drinking more water was knocking at the door.
"Not everything is lost, I still have time before my classes." You thought with yourself, observing the convenience store facade was you were getting closer.
You opened the door and went straight to look for a display refrigerator, almost nonchalant. It was just an ordinary store, after all, just like every convenience store. Organized at least, but you couldn't ignore a random dinosaur sticker on one of the shopping baskets your eyes laid on for a quick second. Shaking your head to push away useless worries, your figure followed to the checkout counter.
You weren't really paying attention to the cashier before, as your actions kept focused on finding your wallet in your bag. But in a very ridiculous way, you caught yourself pathetically static when you heard a voice completely different from anything you had ever heard before.
"Hello?" A mixture of annoyance and tiredness could be felt. You raised your head to meet the owner of such an attractive voice, furrowing your eyebrows lightly as your eyes seemed to shine clearly when that figure filled up your vision. Your breath was stuck in your throat due to the thirst but also for that uncomfortable piercing green eyes looking at you, dark circles around the eyes and ironically highlighting those green iris.
"What?" You asked in weak voice tone, almost scared, intimidated by that figure... a very attractive figure. You could feel your face heat up lightly.
"I asked how you preferred to pay." The cashier asked calmly, tilting slightly to the side. You stutterd a bit your answer before finally paying for the stupid bottle of water.
You found yourself leaning against the wall, finally outside the store questioning all your life choices and personality traits. Your eyes darted on the empty bottle you had drunk all the water compulsively to not think about the cute cashier and her cute freckles and the small scar on her right eyebrow, and right arm tattoo.
"Oh my god, her tattoo." You whispered as your hands covered your studipdly flushed face. "What am I doing, stop, stop." You patted your cheeks and tried to recompose your posture, your less loser posture.
The rest of your morning included you stuck in a classroom for hours with a bunch of new information and contents you'll have to learn by the end of the month, graduation stress always gets you no matter how hard you try to not get caught by it. But somehow you almost couldn't feel that stress increasing in your mind, because the only thing you could think was the awkard moment between you and the cashier earlier.
Despite her sleepy expression and almost annoyed voice tone, her freckles decreased that intimidating aurea by your conception, the sloopy half-up and half-down hairstyle; you couldn't help but remember all those face details and smile lightly.
"What." Your jaw dropped, wide opening your eyes. You were so stupid you could even feel your head ache a little.
Trying to calm your messed up mind, overthinking about the college tasks and exams, there it was, an extra corner about that auburn hair cashier. Was that a really big deal? Why are your heart beating faster every time you remember those green eyes? Maybe you were being too emotional, of course you are being too emotional.
Too much emotional. You found yourself in front of the convenience store once again, asking yourself if your mind was now tricking you. Those bright lights caused your pupils to sting. It was already night and the stars were shy in the sky, and for a blessing thing, your home path was safe enough to walk around alone during the night.
You couldn't tell how much time you spent stading in front of the store facade, but you were considering the idea of entering the place only to see her once again, and you felt like a loser. You shouldn't do this.
But you did, you entered the convenience store with the eyes of yours examining everything around the place, and another spot could be seen a dinosaur sticker, right on one of the shelves. "The manager might have a kid?" You supposed with yourself as your nervous pace reached a section next to the checkout counter, your anxious eyes trying to spot the cashier from earlier, wondering with your thoughts if it was only a part-time job of hers.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, it seemed to be a full-time job. You could see that figure once again, and for some reason, your mind was silent miraculously. It was... good and almost comforting, to look at her, minding her business and being focused on something. Enchanting.
"Can I help you?" Her voice echoed, snapping you out of your trance. Was she annoyed? Of course, you were staring at her until she could feel that;
With a pair of flushed cheeks, you answered her ungainly, "What, well, hum..." You couldn't just run away like a freak.
"Oh, god." You said in a breath, "What a day." You smiled embarrassed of yourself, feeling so small in compare to her, you could shrink until she couldn't see you anymore. "I was just looking at a blind spot, I got distracted, sorry." It was almost inaudible, the poor eyes of yours staring at random different types of razors.
"fuck it, shit is already in the fan." You thought as your hand grabbed a pack of q-tips, which you don't really need at the moment but you felt like you shouldn't leave empty-handed.
Appearing again in front of her, your eyes met for a quick second before you gave up looking at her, "I'll take this, and I'm paying with cash, please." You spoke up, your voice almost dissipating.
You handed her your last paper notes.
She was so alluring it was almost a sin to dare looking at her. You felt almost criminal being this observing about her, and her... dinosaur sticker on a black cover notebook.
In a second of response, you tilted your head slisghtly to the side, finding undeniably curious all of that. The notebook was resting in the edge of the counter, and it seemed old plus well used, with stars and dinosaurs stickers all over the cover and a small spaceship drawing in the corner. "Is that yours?" You asked out loud what should be only to you and the voices of your head. Panicking eyes searching for the auburn girl.
"What? Oh, shit." Her hand grabbed the notebook in a blink of an eye and stuffed it into an old backpack placed on the chair behind her.
"No, It's nice!" You responded quickly, raising your hand lightly and resting it on the cash register. "I liked it. Dinosaurs are... cool?" Your voice tone decreased as she was now turning all her attention to your eyes. Deep, you should add on it.
"Do you like dinosaurs?" She just seemed like a little kid. The deep gaze of before was now only like a pair of puppy eyes, a wary puppy.
And now you couldn't screw things up.
"Hum, well. There're so much stuff about them, right? Movies and content to study, I can say that's quite interesting, so... I'm not a hater? I mean, I've already watched Jurrasic Park, so I think it counts as something?" You did your best to sound sincere in your response. You weren't a hater, indeed, but it wasn't really something it makes you want to spend time consuming.
Her expression was hard to read, but you felt there wasn't an awkward atmosphere like before. Certainly, you still felt yourself small, but her posture seemed slightly welcoming now.
"Yeah, it's something." She said in a low tone, her voice tearing slightly through her throat, slightly hoarse. She examined you for a couple of seconds, but you were too distracted by her captivating intense eyes. You could just get lost there, and you wouldn't even mind. "Here."
She handed you your shop bag with a single pack of "Excuse to talk to her" and started brushing her fingers on the counter, "You should go home." She said to you, a neutral expression as she avoided your eyes. Your face almost dropped by her sudden sentence.
"I mean, it's late and you shouldn't stay out this late." Her head turned to the monitor next to both of you, pointing to the time. Her right hand scracthing the back of her neck, the tattoo exposed. "I'm not kicking you out, it's just that... I don't know. I'ts just the way I..."
"Show that you don't hate me?" You interrupted her. Your voice sounded so natural, you were now feeling natural, no fear of speaking or behaving.
She looked at you as her eyes blinked for some quick seconds. You still couldn't read her, but you knew she was almost feeling just like you.
"Yeah, something like that." She whispered between a light smirk, her arms crossed as her eyes laid on your eyes once again.
You couldn't help but press your lips tightly so a silly smile of yours wouldn't come out, eyes turning to the store entrance. "I think I should go, yeah." You said almost breathslessly.
One day crush never hit you so hard before.
:)
Yeah... that's all i got 😭 hope you enjoyed :) god i'm exhausted sorry
A shout out to my friend @yourelliewillms bc she really encouraged to post this 💋💋 mi gente latino
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Animal Magnetism
F!Reader X Yujiro Hanma (Omegaverse AU)
Well folks, here is my first ever attempt at a true Omegaverse fic. I wanted to start out with something little to get a feel for it, but since I don’t know how to chill it ended up being a bit longer than anticipated. ^^; I’m still getting the hang of it all, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! Thank you so much for reading!!!
Also, I have a rather busy end of May-June coming up, so I’m not sure how much I will be able to write and update during that time. I apologize in advance. That being said, I wrote this pretty fast and edited it even faster so that I could get it out before I get swamped, so I apologize if it reads a bit rushed. (シ_ _)シ
THIS FIC IS NSFW, SO 18+ ONLY PLEASE!!!
WARNINGS: Noncon/dubcon, yandere vibes, ABO/Omegaverse AU (reader is the omega ofc), death, strangulation, brief mentions of stalking, reader is degraded and treated like an object by Yujiro Hanma. You know how it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
You considered yourself lucky to have found the love of your life.
That wasn’t always the case for Omegas. Since your childhood, you’d heard countless horror stories from your parents and friends, tragedies and cautionary tales of the horrors Omega’s faced when looking for a mate. Many of your kind faced dismal futures as breeding factories or were forgotten and neglected by their partners whenever they weren’t in heat. It was a lonely, painful, and unfulfilling existence, but a sad reality that many Omega’s endured nonetheless.
Because of this your parents sheltered you, doing their best to keep you from the cruel power imbalance of the outside world. Your father made sure he was the only alpha allowed near you on the property, the rest of your friends and acquaintances consisting of either other Omega’s or Beta’s. Not that you much minded, after all the negativity you heard surrounding Alpha’s you figured this was for the best. You weren’t missing out on anything, and as long as you took your suppressors accordingly, you were sure you could live out the rest of your life just fine without Alpha influence and still feel completely fulfilled.
That was to say, until a certain bodyguard was hired as the family escort, specifically YOUR escort. You had heard he was an Alpha and were quite shocked that your father would allow such a person so close to you, especially with all his previous warnings. But as time passed and your curiosity grew, you would eventually introduce yourself to the man of your own accord, excited and nervous to see what manner of individual he truly was. At the time, you would have never ended up guessing that one meeting would end up turning your entire world on its head, bringing more joy to your life than you could have ever imagined.
You were smitten the moment your hands joined in the initial shake, taken in by his easy smile and sparkling eyes. He had respectfully kept his distance from you at your father’s request, but you could tell he was elated to finally speak with you, a small blush gracing his cheeks as soon as you said ‘hello’. He was a kindly man, mild mannered and soft spoken, but strong where it mattered and protective to a fault. Were it not for the unmistakable scent that exuded from him, you wouldn’t guess he was an Alpha at all, or at least he certainly didn’t fit the description of most of the Alpha’s your father warned you about-all full of machismo and brutality, ready at a moment’s notice to tear you apart to satisfy their own base urges.
This man was the opposite of that, and when you fell for him, you fell hard.
Years past in a whirlwind, from the initial awkward first dates, to buying your own place together, to his heartfelt proposal to you. Through it all he always remained respectful, giving you all the space and time you needed to adjust to your life with him, never pushing his boundaries or showing any untoward aggression or advances. Because of this, even after spending years together, you were able to remain pure, saving yourself for the day the two of you would join as one, marking each other to truly solidify your union.
And so time marched on, moving so fast that on more than one occasion you wished you could stop the clock altogether, just to steal a few more moments with him.
But now, you would never enjoy his company ever again.
His corpse had been tossed aside, discarded several feet from where you lay. It was so bloodied and broken you could barely recognize it as human, let alone as someone you once loved. Your chest rose and fell with erratic breaths punctuated by fear, the desire welling inside of you momentarily quelled by this sudden nightmare.
Minutes ago he was atop you, peeling the clothing from your aching, hot body. Moving painfully slow, he took his time enjoying your first heat with him, no longer constrained by the suppressors you had taken your whole life. You were scared of the process, worried about losing control of yourself and becoming mindless, driven by only your base needs. Not to mention the pain it would entail, the endless torture of emptiness, and the desperation you would experience relying solely on him for release from your torment.
But he had been patient and understanding through the whole process, explaining how it would all go down and how he would help you through it, alleviating any rogue fears that still remained. He even went so far as to help you prepare your nest, purchasing you any and everything you may need to make it comforting and inviting for when the time finally arrived. Meticulously helping you arrange everything while gushing about how excited he was, how lucky he felt having you as his mate, the one he would be eternally bonded too. He seemed more into the prep work than even you did.
Now, the nest that was to be used to consummate your love was stained in crimson, his blood splashing across it in vibrant streaks the moment he was knocked off you, flung across the room like a rag doll. No matter how badly you wanted to, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the lifeless body that used to be your beloved. Everything that had made him shine had been stolen in the blink of an eye, leaving only a husk remaining.
Above him stood his murderer, Yujiro Hanma, looming with a bestial sort of feral energy as he stared at the carcass by his feet. Before this moment, you had never interacted with the man they called ‘The Ogre’, but that didn’t mean you didn’t know all about him. It was hard not to-the strongest man in the world was a celebrity in his own right, renowned the world over for his ferocity and ruthless nature. He had started and ended wars by simply existing, going wherever he pleased and doing whatever he wanted because there was no one who could stop him. He ruled countries from the shadows, amassed wealth and respect from the most influential men in the world. Truly, he was not a person to be reckoned with.
All that aside, you knew him best as the man your father despised the most. A once respected comrade from your father’s military days, you were aware that Yujiro had done something unspeakable to your father in the past, therefore disgracing him from your entire family. Your father had always been an amicable and fair man, someone that you couldn’t imagine having any enemies (even with his military background), let alone ones that used to be dear friends. And while the mystery of what Yujiro may have done to your father to receive this treatment gnawed incessantly at your brain, you kept your questions to yourself, not wanting to open any old wounds that may hurt him in the process.
Now you wished you had pressed the issue more, maybe then you would have a clue as to why this mythical family villain had abruptly entered the scene, irrevocably changing your life in the process.
The slaughter happened so quickly that Yujiro didn’t even break a sweat. Not that he would have anyway-the differences in ability were clear as day, you didn’t need any fighting prowess to realize that. Your mate never stood a chance.
The ogre’s fiery hair danced wildly around his head like a halo as he turned his attention your way, his figure both terrifying and awe inspiring as he took his time stalking towards your vulnerable form. There was no need for him to rush- the power of his presence alone was enough to root you in place.
Splayed out in your nest, you were completely exposed. Your nude chest heaving as a thin layer of sweat coated you, anxiety and confusion mingling with the raging heat your body was going through. Even after watching the execution of your mate before your very eyes, your body was still yearning, causing a horrible, all-encompassing burning that scalded you from the inside out. It made you desperate for release as your mate was in the process of marking you, taking his time exploring the body of the woman with whom he was destined to spend the rest of his life with before carrying out the duty.
And while his drawn out advance was driving you to the point of madness, amplifying the throbbing ache in your core with each teasing touch of his hands and sensual kiss of his lips, you knew the sluggish pace was for your benefit-to prepare you properly. It was your first time, the start of your forever with him. He wanted to make it special, for your pleasure to be immeasurable when he finally entered you, making you feel so good that when he bit down to mark you as his, the pain would be nothing in comparison, if felt at all. You had a life time of love ahead of you, but that was no excuse for him to give in to his desire and rush your first union.
But he was gone now, and his kindness had left you feverish and wanting-so desperately wanting- release. Craving your alpha, needing him so badly you could barely stand it, you writhed pathetically on the ground, whimpering in agony at the absence of fulfillment. Unable to control yourself, your hand traveled to your privates, tears flooding your eyes when stuffing your fingers deep inside of yourself only seemed to hurt you more. It was hollow and empty, not what you needed, not what you craved.
Were you in your normal mindset, revulsion would have washed over you at your actions-the love of your life had just been slain and here you were making a sorry attempt at masturbation while his body lay decomposing beside you. What kind of woman does that? How could you live with yourself after this? How could you tell yourself you truly love him, when now that he’s gone the only feeling your addled brain can conjure is disappointment over the fact that you won’t get the fucking you have become so desperate for?
How had you become so disgusting? You lightly shook your head, trying to dispel the thoughts of self-loathing. Perhaps the blame did not lie fully on your shoulders, but to another culprit, one who was stalking his way closer and closer to you with each passing moment, hunting you as a wolf does livestock.
In any other scenario, this heart-rending moment would have been enough to crack the shell of haze your heat had left you in, no matter how worked up you had become. But the man who was now standing above you, Yujiro Hanma, was dangerous in ways you hadn’t even begun to fathom. His smell of his musk was so overbearing you nearly choked on it, the lust it sent coursing through your body turning you into something unrecognizable. You honed in on Yujiros scent long before his arrival, at first mistaking it for your own mate’s scent that had been amplified by your combined heats. And while it disgusted you to admit it, this new, intoxicating scent excited you far more than your own lover’s ever had, turning your mind to mush the longer you inhaled its aroma.
Yujiro’s cruel eyes bore down upon you, a look of mild amusement displayed on his face as he took in your weakened state. The smirk he wore as he killed your lover began to grow, his lips spreading into a full on smile, baring his teeth in a look that could only be considered as malicious.
“Well what do we have here,” he leered, the mere sound of his husky voice enough to make you moan, “Feeling a bit neglected, are we?”
He bent down on his knee, kneeling beside you as his eyes flicked across your body. After a brief once over, his large hand reached out towards your head, thick fingers knotting themselves into a fist as they gripped your hair. Roughly he yanked you up, dangling you mere inches from his face as he continued to stare at you with his horrible, ravenous eyes.
You scrambled to get your bearings, perching yourself on your knees to help alleviate the pressure on your scalp. Positioned so closely to him, his pheromones became even more intense, slick starting to seep from inside you from the proximity alone. Bright red bloomed across your body, a mixture of extreme arousal and embarrassment, as you wriggled in his hold.
Yujiro scoffed, “Look at you, I haven’t even touched you and you’re already leaking,” He swiped his fingers briskly against your weeping pussy, making you cry out as he gathered the evidence of your intoxication on his hand. Holding the glistening fingers up to your face, his smile returned as he goaded you. “Bet your little boyfriend lacked the power to make that happen, didn’t he?”
Any anger that may have welled inside you over the slight against your beloved was instantly quelled, eaten by the tumultuous feeling of frustration the situation ensnared you in. All you could do was stare at Yujiro with pleading eyes, any words you attempted to speak dying out the moment you tried to voice them, becoming little more than whiny, petulant mewlings. Rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to create friction, you prayed he would show an ounce of mercy and grant you release soon, fretting over how much longer your body could handle waiting.
Yujiro sighed, chuckling softly under his breath, “Your father is a damned fool, you know that? I told that stubborn bastard that his cute little Omega daughter was meant to be mine, knew it the moment I saw you. I warned him that he could try and pair you off with some other lesser Alpha, but it would be a waste of time. You were fated to be mine- made to take my cock. Trying to make you anything other than my bitch was both asinine and disgraceful.”
He shot you another wicked smile, “Idiots like him may not realize what a fucking honor it is to be my cumdump, but surely you do, right sweetheart?”
You squeaked as he tugged you closer, his breath fanning your face while he stared down his nose at you, “Or maybe you don’t, given the situation I found you in. Looks like my ravenous little whore just couldn’t contain herself, could she?”
His lips curled into a snarl, his booming voice reverberating through your bones as he continued to address your misdemeanor. “Nesting with some weak piece of shit like that, have you no pride in yourself? I’m embarrassed you even gave him the time of day, let alone bared yourself to him. Who do you think you are, trying to fuck basic trash when you belong to me?”
Without giving you a chance to respond, he released his grip on your hair, shoving you roughly to the ground in the process. Hearing him move behind you, you attempted to push your feeble body into a sitting position, trying to reacclimate yourself. However before you could achieve this simple goal, his hand latched to the back of your head, shoving it down until it was smothered in the soft blankets beneath you. His free hand yanked your legs out from under you, pulling your ass up in the process. Though you couldn’t see him, the power radiating from him was immense, his aura so domineering you felt as if it alone was steadily crushing you. Were you in any sane frame of mind you would fear for your life, struggle and fight against the oppressive hardness that slotted itself against your dripping entrance.
But the slave you had become welcomed the intrusion, and as he tightened his hold on you, growling in your ear like the wild animal he had proved himself to be, you couldn’t stop your body from shuddering in anticipation of what was to come.
“It’s time for some corrective action.”
He entered you violently, his thick cock impossibly hot as he sheathed himself inside of you. The initial pain tore a scream from your throat, your vision dotting as you felt blood trail steadily down your shaking legs. He gave you no time to adjust, continuing his brutal assault as he pounded into you, uncaring of the damage he was inflicting upon you. The smack of his skin against your was punctuated by your cries, at first full of pain, but slowly morphing into expulsions of pleasure.
When the abruptness of his entrance fully subsided, you began to focus on the feel of him inside of you. Each slam of his hips ignited you, creating a feverish frenzy within that blocked out all other sensations and judgment. He filled you so completely, easily reaching all the spots that your fingers tried so desperately to reach just moments ago, satisfying all the areas that had been so urgently in need of attention with each stroke of his cock. You wanted more, needed more, moving in time with him as you chased after your pleasure. Wanton moans spilled from your lips, muffled by the bedding that was being shoved into your mouth with each thrust.
Even in the uncomfortable position he had locked you in, unable to breathe properly or escape from his grasp, all you could find yourself caring about was the alpha behind you and how he was making you feel- a strange sense of pride bubbled inside you the longer he went at you. The most powerful man in the world was doing little more than using you, and yet it was the fact that he chose you to begin with that filled you with flattery. A nobody like you being sought out by an alpha like him... Isn’t that what all Omegas dreamed of? To be desired by a dominant Alpha, having the honor of bringing them pleasure and receiving pleasure in turn, wasn’t that your only purpose, your reason for being?
You never dreamed you would feel that way before, but now you were finally starting to understand. The delirium of your desire had launched you into a state of inescapable euphoria, rebirthing you as nothing more than a shell of a woman who had finally realized her purpose, completely giving herself over to her unquenchable cravings while her Alpha’s assault molded her destiny.
Yujiro was a monster. Any man who did what they had done to the love of your life, any man whom your father had hated to the point of excommunication, any man who would violate you in such a way without so much as batting an eye, was an abomination-the remaining rational part of your mind understood this.
Yet as this demon, deserving of nothing but your scorn and hatred, spilled himself inside of you all you could feel was thankful. Thankful that the ungodly heat was starting to subside, happy that the pain the experience had brought you was alleviated, and blissed out over the feel of him nestled deeply inside of you, convulsing as the twitch of his cumming cock rained pleasure down upon you.
Finally, you felt complete.
After pumping you full of his hefty load, he hoisted you up in his arms, repositioning you so that you were facing him, straddling his lap. Gasping the moment you gained access to fresh air, a distressed groan croaked from your throat as his incisors latched to your neck, sinking deep into your scent gland. Your body shuddered at the sensation, fresh waves of pain and rapture coursing through you as he marked you decisively as his.
The cock that was still stuffed inside of you remained rigid, showing no signs of softening as your walls fluttered around it, the next round of your heat coming far sooner than you had anticipated. His hand wrapped securely around your throat, replacing where his lips had just been. He clamped down hard, pain pulsating from the open wound your scent gland had become, struggling once more to breath. His other hand grasped your hip, both limbs working in unison to bounce you on his dick-using you as if you were a human fleshlight.
“Don’t forget your place again,” he grunted, pulling you down on his cock so harshly, you saw stars, “You’re mine now.”
#baki x reader#baki x y/n#yujiro hanma x y/n#yujiro hanma x reader#yandere yujiro hanma x y/n#yandere yujiro hanma x reader#baki the grappler x reader#baki the grappler x y/n#omegaverse au#baki omegaverse au#baki the grappler omegaverse au#yandere baki the grappler#yandere x reader#also I missed writing for Yujiro POS that he is#abo baki#abo au#abo baki the grappler#yandere baki the grappler x reader#yandere baki the grappler x y/n#mothwingwritings#thank you for reading!!!#I'm honestly surprised I got this out so quick ]#it was nice practice!!! I am excited to do more ABO stuff in the future#so this is dedicated to the Yujiro girlies lul love y'all#<3
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Hi cinamun!
I'm cracking up over the Drake family dynamics like everyone else.
My ask is about this:
We know that Indya has the ability (from her level 10 Wellness skill) to appear by her children's side at a moment's notice. But there's something more...the sixth sense about when to appear (or disappear and let hubby deal, as the case may be).
Is there lore to explain this sixth sense and how does that relate to Jerriah's apparent inheritance of it?
Merry coming with SUPER DOPE lore questions that we all love!!! I love this question friend so thank you!! It started as just comedy, me being the goofball that I am and knowing Indya, why wouldn't she magically appear if her girl's are going through life-changing moments?
But then there was a point where writer-brain took over and in this essay I will.....
Anyone famliar with the story knows that Indya and her mother had a relationship that wasn't a good one, and that's putting it lightly. Indya's mother was not raising her and she was left to fend for herself from the time she was old enough to reach the counters to fill her starving belly with moldy bread and expired bologna. One could argue that she didn't really have a mother; which ultimately led to her not wanting children at all. The same could be said about Jerri, honestly, but Jerri grew up with a grandmother which was at least something.
Fast forward...
She has daughters now and keeping them safe is personal; becoming her mother and ruining them is her biggest fear (and still is). When you have this kind of trauma-response you become hyper-aware of situations that may put those girls in danger.
Indya's 6th sense, so to speak, is out of a fierce protection and love for her girls that she didn't have the privilege of experiencing and learned through the actions of mothering.
So when the youngest of her girls felt she couldn't be open and honest and ended up keeping something dangerous from her, it absolutely devastated her. She took it personally.
While this 6th sense is sharp with her daughters, it took awhile for her to figure it out with her son, but once she did...
The point in all of this, is that Indya's growth through motherhood was rooted in the fear of becoming her own mother, the fear of failure and the trauma of growing up the way she did, with the mother she had. In fact, her mother is where all of her insecurities lie; even if her mother has long since passed on.
They say sometimes trauma (and actions associated with the response to trauma) can be inherited. Generational trauma, if you will. I would say if Jerriah sensed that energy shift, there is a strong chance that she inherited more than just red hair from Jerri. Perhaps she, too, is hyper aware of mood and energy shifts because, let's face it, you have to be when lived the life that Jerri did.
#thank you so much for this ask#I did not expect it to be a novel#but as I was typing all this#I realize I never really unpacked that#I think its important#story stuff#oc asks#beware#this is a long ass post
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HEY CEEEE happy storyteller Saturday!! >w<
You're now in the rewriting stage of your writing!! Congrats!! 🥳
Now that the dreadful first draft is done and dusted, tell us about your journey! And has there been anything you learnt or realised? 💖
heyyyy Tate, thanks for the ask!!<3
thank you!! it's great:DD my journey has been... surprisingly steady so far. whilst writing the entire first draft, I might have taken... a couple of weeks off in the middle of it? otherwise, I'd managed to keep up a very steady and consistent pace :v I cannot emphasize enough how unusual that is for me lol. honestly, that's part of the reason why I'm feeling so optimistic about this story. it just Speaks to me on a level unlike any other I've written, so I can't help but feel optimistic haha
this was also the first time I tried documenting my journey by keeping a writing journal. I've made around 40 entries this year, which isn't all that much, but still good! and I definitely recommend other people do this, too. It's very fun and interesting to look back on what you were working at a given time, how you were feeling about it, how those feelings changed, etc. I definitely plan on doing the same with my future projects:D
in terms of what I've realized/learnt... hm. ok I'm about to get a little existential here lol. putting this under 'read more' because this is getting kinda long aee
some personal stuff about me - I have friends, sure, but I'm otherwise a pretty solitary person. I've never had any partners; for whatever reason, that sort of connection tends to elude me lol. the fact that I can't seem to connect to a person on such a level has bothered me for a long, long while, mostly because of how society treats these connections. you won't feel truly happy without a partner (or two); you shouldn't stay on your own, you need someone else by your side. this Special person. while I understand that different people are different, I still got very frustrated with my inability to have this Special person. what, was I meant to never be truly satisfied with life if I don't? if I stay alone, do I not have a chance at True Happiness?
everyone around me always treats people who never marry or choose to live alone as somehow... less fortunate. oh, this person doesn't have a family of their own - that's a shame. and it's hard not to internalize that! but this year... it's like something Clicked for me. I realized that, when writing, when I'm striving for a career in something I truly love doing, while talking to like-minded people, sharing our stories and that passion - I don't feel like I'm missing something in life. I don't feel incomplete. I can truly imagine myself doing this for years on end. storytelling is my meaning in life, you know? that's what I want to focus all my energy and time on. that's what I want to leave after myself. that's what truly makes me happy. sure, maybe finding someone to love would make me a different kind of happy, but I already feel love! maybe it's just inevitable that I would connect more with ideas and art than people, maybe my brain is unable to work differently, but the fact that I can connect to something already makes me very happy:)
#sts#ty again!!#it's easy to feel like you're missing something Crucial in life when you struggle with attachment#so maybe I shouldn't compare myself to people who are fundamentally different#putting labels on this sort of stuff doesn't help me either#call me queer or nd or whatever#i still have to figure out on my own how to live my life in a way that'd make the happiest#this got personal but writing's very personal so yk lol
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The problem with becoming friends with people while all of you are going through some awful trauma is that if you're not careful you won't know how to keep being friends without it. Growth is a good thing, but that can be easy to forget when every step forward you take makes you worry those people won't be in your life anymore and you subconsciously feel like you have to manufacture some kind of ongoing crisis so you guys have something to talk about. Friendships formed in the face of hardship are strong and fierce things, and the relationship fading as your lives improve doesn't mean it wasn't real. It just served its purpose. You all made it out alive, and that was why you found each other in the first place. This is a hard and shitty lesson to learn.
#I miss my core group of friends but my god we were held together by the stress in our lives#We leaned hard on each other and we needed that#But none of us knew how to have a regular friendship with low stakes#And the other three figured it out before I did#So it was just me trying to offer news about my life but it was all... Not even negative just A Lot#And they had moved into stability and didn't need that anymore#And from my point of view if I didn't talk nobody would#Which ended up being true#I got better and offered good things going on in my life and they just.... Stopped#Being friends with them was necessary for that part of my life#Of all of our lives#We all met in college and needed each other the few years after when life was still a mess but without the structure of schoolwork#I'm grateful to have known them#But there's no doubt they saw me as a younger sibling#And the more I began to make my own decisions the more they pushed back#And got upset when I didn't take their advice#I hope they're well#But I think I'm done being hurt that they've moved on#Good for them#Now I have regular friendships too - even deep ones - and they're nothing like that was#I'm no longer doing joint survival mode#mundane adventures
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Hey man, some advice from someone on their way into their mid twenties: don’t continue into higher education if you don’t want to. I know it’s easier said than done, but I mean it wholeheartedly. School is draining, and if just the thought of it is causing you stress, than actually going will be worse. It’s hard when it feels as though there’s all of this pressure to not disappoint yourself parents or anyone else that expects this of you, but you are what matters most. You should be your top priority. You should do the things that are in your own best interest. I tried to go to college multiple times after graduating (and struggling to do so immensely despite the fact that I’m smart and school came easy to me. I was just incredibly burnt out on life by that point) and it never ended up working out. College isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. You’re not less than or a failure for not doing what society tells you you have to do to be successful. You can find meaningful work that doesn’t break your body and soul without college. You can maintain or create new friendships without college. Put yourself first, and you’re doing great 💜
thank you 😭
#saying more in tags bc i’m shy#currently bc i’m so young i’m just going to stay with what i’m doing#i was able to figure out my shit for today and i start next week#i’m an easy quitter so if i fucking despise it u best believe i’m leaving#but maybe it ends up being amazing. i rlly don’t know .#just doing this now to please my family.#i still work and i have friends. my future goals aren’t limited to school and i have to remind myself of that.#getting a life outside of school has helped me become a better person i think.#and i hope if i remember that i do have a life outside of school i’ll survive going to class if i know it’s not the end of the world if i’m#not the absolute best.#for now i’m too young to say no to my parents#all things considered i should just say no#but living w them is hell dealing w this#i think my best option is to dip my toes in and see how it goes.#i don’t even have to push myself too hard. and they won’t either bc they know anything is better than nothing#but i do not regret at all the time i spent out of school#i was able to work so much and as annoying as work can b i’m very grateful i got to do that#bc not only has that helped me make my closest friends but also …MONEY.#soon i’ll get a car. and soon i can start planning my own future#captain’s log#One step at a time ☝️🙏#incoming transmission#i appreciate u anon .#but this year i’m going to try and b easy on myself#we’ll see how that goes#also it’s low stakes bc it’s just community college#maybe if i can take stuff that interests me i can figure myself out more#bc while ik ever job doesn’t NEED college degree. idk what i want to work in.#there’s things i’d love to do. but i have zero knowledge of anything
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trying not to think about it but also i need to figure out what im gonna do with my hermit crabs and it's not like. urgent but at some point im gonna have to figure out how to change out their substrate and also there's a solid chance i'll have to rehome them someday :(
#(not rehoming them anytime soon but i wanna mentally prepare myself a little for when that day comes)#anyway re: substrate change. this is a 45gal tank filled with ~50lbs of sand etc. and i live in a 4th floor walkup#playsand comes in 25lb bags which i am not physically capable of carrying up 3 flights of stairs. my ex had to do it when we moved here#maybe i can like. hire someone to carry it up the stairs???#but then i have to figure out how to dispose of their current substrate which again. LOTS of sand.#i could probably board them at work for a week or so in a smaller tank while i do the changeout#idk man it's just like. a lot#i feel bad their tank is so fucked and it's like. i can't physically fix the problem!!!#and as far as rehoming like. idk if move out someday i really doubt im gonna wanna move the tank.#i guess it depends on what kinda living situation im going to#and eventually i'll have to move out. or my roommate will move out and i won't be able to afford the mortgage on my own#and still have to move out lol#anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation#and like am i really gonna go through the nightmare logistics of a substrate change only to rehome them soon after?#but on the same token. am i really gonna give someone a nasty-ass tank? lmao#so. idk. i gotta think on that one.#i just feel bad for them i mean they have a fairly good quality of life#especially considering what most hermit crabs suffer lmao#but. i wish i could do better for them#i could probably find someone to take them at least because of my job lol#the logistics will suck no matter what and also i love those little guys and i'm getting sad just thinking about it :(#but they're only gonna get bigger and i definitely can't upgrade their tank in my current living situation#so either way something has to give ya know?
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First gourd (and radish) I carved in my life 31 October 2019
#the drawing I class i was in in undergrad had a pumpkin carving day that year#i decided to be rebellious and buy a pumpkin to carve for the first time but when i went to the store there were no more pumpkins :')#so i got a gourd and a little skeleton for inside caude i wanted a scene#it was the first time i had carved anything for Halloween ever and i remember feeling so sinful at the time#there was this one person Maddie who was also giving tarot card readings and they were one of my major events(?) to realize i was gay#i didnt get a reading from them cause i was scared that was going too far and I would be too far gone messing with the 'occult'#and they made me nervous but i wanted more and couldnt figure out why (i chalked it up to them being 'cool' and wanting to be their friend)#anyways maddie gave me the radish cause they also didnt bring a pumpkin and had two radishes (cause they were buy 1 get 1) from Winn Dixie#i still think about maddie now and we talk sporadically i told them if they're ever in Chicago to come and visit me but they live in Canada#their art inspires me and i believe they could design a fantasy game or novel because of their work (i own a weird little dog of theirs)#i never mentioned anything to them at the time about being infatuated with them in class and i doubt i would now bc our life goals dont mesh#but i consider them to play a important role in my life and i appreciated the radish and wish i got the readings done#its wild how much growth can happen in just a few years -- i bought a mini pumpkin in September because i wanted to celebrate early#back then when i got home the gourd and radish was forcibly thrown away (and i didn't dare tell of my encounters in class with the lesbian!)#(i hold that memory in my heart & think of it fondly cause i hadnt realized yet i have much compassion for younger me who was never sinful)#now in grad school there is a new Maddie 🍈 who told me she didnt know why she keeps looking at my face in class and i think i know why#but she has yet to get there <3
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.
#today i had a pianist during a rehearsal go “wow your voice you just have so much natural talent i mean some people really work for years—”#and i kinda snapped#and i was polite but also i unloaded the entire story of the last thirteen years in the cosmic joke that is my life#this lady got thirteen years of trauma in a twenty minute speed run#she Learned Things today about existential despair and the societal clusterfuck that is the Trans Experience#and how that intersects in the classical singing world in an incredibly challenging and fucked up way#and how i went from scooting under the door into a voice program with seven lessons under me#and then three years later proceeded to fling myself into a testosterone fueled vocal puberty in the midst of a professional singing degree#and lost the respect and support of most of the vocal and choir faculty because everyone thought i was committing professional suicide#if it werent for my own voice teacher (who at some point became the mother figure I'd never had) keeping me afloat i would not be here#i have c-ptsd from the shit i went through in the choir department#i had to drop out of school for a semester because my body just folded under the stress#i started getting migraines severe enough i was hospitalized twice with stroke-like symptoms#two weeks ago i had a former teacher from the early days deadname me in front of our colleagues#she tried to play it off as no big deal and it just reminded me no matter how successful i become in this field#no matter how much work i put in to overcome my past#its always going to come back and find me through people who refuse to learn respect#and somehow! im still here! im making a living in the field i trained for#how many people in my generation in the arts degree sector can say that?? by some metrics i am thriving but jesus goddamn#i clawed and fought and bit and dragged myself to where i am right now and had to find my voice TWICE and the worst part is#she meant well#the pianist i mean#and i was polite when i told my story but it was so important to me that she understood#no amount of talent would have gotten me here without sleepless nights and long hours and blood and sweat and tears and you know what#maybe i am a better person for it but dont compliment me by implying i have some inherent gift from a god i dont even believe in#dont tell me your god put me in this place to teach other people compassion#i didnt brush the door of death as many times as i did for the sake of someone else's enlightenment#its been a long 13 years. hell its been a long 2023. in the last eleven months ive had a fundamental upheaval#of everything i thought i knew and understood about myself#so yea im standing at the gate to hell looking the devil in the eye. try me bitch. ive endured worse.
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not going into it because i don't have the time or energy right now but growing up abused and suddenly living with an absense of it as an adult ruins you. it really does
#18 years having to be shoved down the drain and untouched because as an adult it can't matter anymore#but it effects every second of my life and i've had 6 years to figure out how to cope with it and i feel like we've hit a wall#and are slowly creeping towards reversing progress#every time a coworker asks about our family or raises their eyebrows at me when i say i don't want to talk about it i want to scream#and the times we've glossed over it we got jokes about mommy issues and hit with “don't ask __ about his mom because he won't stop”#everything is a joke#i still feel like she's going to show up one day and try to strangle me in my own home#and i have dreams all the time about the things our grandmother put in our head#but it doesn't matter anymore and you just have to live with it! you just have to shrug and go on with daily life#pretending you don't want to lash out at everyone over everything because your brain is a bomb
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