#i still have one other song from the recording session to post! i will do that soon :-)
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The Oral History of Take This To Your Grave – transcription under the cut
The pages that are just photographs, I haven't included. This post is already long enough.
Things that happened in 2003: Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor of California. Teen Vogue published its first issue. The world lost Johnny Cash. Johnny Depp appeared as Captain Jack Sparrow for the first time. A third Lord of the Rings movie arrived. Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman, and Andy Hurley released Take This To Your Grave.
"About 21 years ago or so, as I was applying to colleges I would ultimately never go to, Fall Out Boy began as a little pop-punk side project of what we assumed was Pete's more serious band, Arma Angelus," Patrick wrote in a May 2023 social media post.
"We were sloppy and couldn't solidify a lineup, but the three of us (Pete, Joe, and I) were having way too much fun to give up on it."
"We were really rough around the edges. As an example of how rough, one of my favorite teachers pulled me aside after hearing the recording that would eventually become Evening Out With Your Girlfriend and tactfully said, 'What do you think your best instrument is, Patrick? Drums. It's drums. Probably not singing, Patrick.'"
"We went into Smart Studios with the Sean O'Keefe... So, there we were, 3/5 of a band with a singer who'd only been singing a year, no drummer, and one out of two guitarists. But we had the opportunity to record with Sean at Butch Vig's legendary studio.
"Eight or so months later, Fueled by Ramen would give us a contract to record the remaining songs. We'd sleep on floors, eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly, live in a van for the next three years, and somehow despite that, eventually play with Elton John and Taylor Swift and Jay-Z and for President Obama and the NFC championship, and all these other wildly unpredictable things. But none of that would ever come close to happening if Andy hadn't made it to the session and Joe hadn't dragged us kicking and screaming into being a band."
Two decades after its release, Take This To Your Grave sits comfortable in the Top 10 of Rolling Stone's 50 Greatest Pop-Punk Albums, edging out landmark records from Buzzcocks, Generation X, Green Day, The Offspring, Blink-182, and The Ramones.
It even ranked higher than Through Being Cool by Saves The Day and Jersey's Best Dancers from Lifetime, two records the guys in Fall Out Boy particularly revere.
Fall Out Boy's proper full-length debut on Fueled by Ramen is a deceptively smart, sugar-sweet, raw, energetic masterpiece owing as much to the bass player's pop culture passions, the singers deep love of R&B and soul, and their shared history in the hardcore scene as any pioneering punk band. Fall Out Boy's creative and commercial heights were still ahead, but Take This To Your Grave kicked it off, a harbinger for the enduring songwriting partnership between Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz, the eclectic contributions from Joe Trohman, and the propulsive powerhouse that is Andy Hurley.
The recordings document a special moment when Fall Out Boy was big in "the scene" but a "secret" from the mainstream. The band (and some of their friends) first sat down for an Oral History (which doubled as an Oral History of their origin story) with their old friend Ryan J. Downey, then Senior Editor for Alternative Press, upon the occasion of the album's 10th anniversary. What follows is an updated, sharper, and expanded version of that story, newly re-edited in 2023. As Patrick eloquently said: "Happy 20th birthday, Take This To Your Grave, you weird brilliant lightning strike accident of a record."
– Ryan J. Downey.
A Weird, Brilliant Lightning Strike Of A Record. The Oral History Of Fall Out Boy's Take This To Your Grave.
As told by:
Patrick Stump
Pete Wentz
Joe Trohman
Andy Hurley
Bob McLynn - Crush Music
Sean O'Keefe - Producer/Mixer
John Janick - Fueled By Ramen
Tim McIlrath - Rise Against
Mani Mostofi - Racetraitor
Chris Gutierrez - Arma Angelus
Mark Rose - Spitalfield
Sean Muttaqi - Uprising Records
Rory Felton - The Militia Group
Richard Reines - Drive-Thru Records
"To Feel No More Bitterness Forever" - From Hardcore to Softcore, 1998-2000
PETE WENTZ: When I got into hardcore, it was about discovering the world beyond yourself. There was a culture of trying to be a better person. That was part of what was so alluring about hardcore and punk for me. But for whatever reason, it shifted. Maybe this was just in Chicago, but it became less about the thought process behind it and more about moshing and breakdowns. There was a close-mindedness that felt very reactive.
TIM MCILRITH: I saw First Born many years ago, which was the first time I saw Pete and met him around then. This was '90s hardcore - p.c., vegan, activist kind of hardcore music. Pete was in many of those bands doing that kind of thing, and I was at many of those shows. The hardcore scene in Chicago was pretty small, so everyone kind of knew each other. I knew Andy Hurley as the drummer in Racetraitor. I was in a band called Baxter, so Pete always called me 'Baxter.' I was just 'Baxter' to a lot of those guys.
JOE TROHMAN: I was a young hardcore kid coming to the shows. The same way we all started doing bands. You're a shitty kid who goes to punk and hardcore shows, and you see the other bands playing, and you want to make friends with those guys because you want to play in bands too. Pete and I had a bit of a connection because we're from the same area. I was the youngest dude at most shows. I would see Extinction, Racetraitor, Burn It Down, and all the bands of that era.
WENTZ: My driver's license was suspended then, so Joe drove me everywhere. We listened to either Metalcore like Shai Hulud or pop-punk stuff like Screeching Weasel.
MCILRITH: I was in a band with Pete called Arma Angelus. I was like their fifth or sixth bass player. I wasn't doing anything musically when they hit me up to play bass, so I said, 'Of course.' I liked everyone in the band. We were rehearsing, playing a few shows here and there, with an ever-revolving cast of characters. We recorded a record together at the time. I even sing on that record, believe it or not, they gave me a vocal part. Around that same time, I began meeting with [bassist] Joe [Principe] about starting what would become Rise Against.
CHRIS GUTIERREZ: Wentz played me the Arma Angelus demo in the car. He said he wanted it to be a mix of Despair, Buried Alive, and Damnation A.D. He told me Tim was leaving to start another band - which ended up being Rise Against - and asked if I wanted to play bass.
TROHMAN: Pete asked me to fill in for a tour when I was 15. Pete had to call my dad to convince him to let me go. He did it, too. It was my first tour, in a shitty cargo van, with those dudes. They hazed the shit out of me. It was the best and worst experience. Best overall, worst at the time.
GUTIERREZ: Enthusiasm was starting to wane in Arma Angelus. Our drummer was really into cock-rock. It wasn't an ironic thing. He loved L.A. Guns, Whitesnake, and Hanoi Rocks. It drove Pete nuts because the scene was about Bleeding Through and Throwdown, not cock rock. He was frustrated that things weren't panning out for the band, and of course, there's a ceiling for how big a metalcore band can get, anyway.
MANI MOSTOFI: Pete had honed this tough guy persona, which I think was a defense mechanism. He had some volatile moments in his childhood. Underneath, he was a pretty sensitive and vulnerable person. After playing in every mosh-metal band in the Midwest and listening exclusively to Earth Crisis, Damnation A.D., Chokehold, and stuff like that for a long time, I think Pete wanted to do something fresh. He had gotten into Lifetime, Saves The Day, The Get Up Kids, and bands like that. Pete was at that moment where the softer side of him needed an outlet, and didn't want to hide behind mosh-machismo. I remember him telling me he wanted to start a band that more girls could listen to.
MCILRATH: Pete was talking about starting a pop-punk band. Bands like New Found Glory and Saves The Day were successful then. The whole pop-punk sound was accessible. Pete was just one of those guys destined for bigger things than screaming for mediocre hardcore bands in Chicago. He's a smart guy, a brilliant guy. All the endeavors he had taken on, even in the microcosm of the 1990s Chicago hardcore world, he put a lot of though into it. You could tell that if he were given a bigger receptacle to put that thought into, it could become something huge. He was always talented: lyrics, imagery, that whole thing. He was ahead of the curve. We were in this hardcore band from Chicago together, but we were both talking about endeavors beyond it.
TROHMAN: The drummer for Arma Angelus was moving. Pete and I talked about doing something different. It was just Pete and me at first. There was this thuggishness happening in the Chicago hardcore scene at that time that wasn't part of our vibe. It was cool, but it wasn't our thing.
MCILRITH: One day at Arma Angelus practice, Pete asked me, 'Are you going to do that thing with Joe?' I was like, 'Yeah, I think so.' He was like, 'You should do that, dude. Don't let this band hold you back. I'll be doing something else, too. We should be doing other things.' He was really ambitious. It was so amazing to me, too, because Pete was a guy who, at the time, was kind of learning how to play the bass. A guy who didn't really play an instrument will do down in history as one of the more brilliant musicians in Chicago. He had everything else in his corner. He knew how to do everything else. He needed to get some guys behind him because he had the rest covered. He had topics, themes, lyrics, artwork, this whole image he wanted to do, and he was uncompromising. He also tapped into something the rest of us were just waking up to: the advent of the internet. I mean, the internet wasn't new, but higher-speed internet was.
MOSTOFI: Joe was excited to be invited by Pete to do a band. Joe was the youngest in our crew by far, and Pete was the 'coolest' in a Fonzie sort of way. Joe deferred to Pete's judgement for years. But eventually, his whole life centered around bossy big-brother Pete. I think doing The Damned Things was for Joe what Fall Out Boy was for Pete, in a way. It was a way to find his own space within the group of friends. Unsurprisingly, Joe now plays a much more significant role in Fall Out Boy's music.
WENTZ: I wanted to do something easy and escapist. When Joe and I started the band, it was the worst band of all time. I feel like people said, 'Oh, yeah, you started Fall Out Boy to get big.' Dude, there was way more of a chance of every other band getting big in my head than Fall Out Boy. It was a side thing that was fun to do. Racetraitor and Extinction were big bands to me. We wanted to do pop-punk because it would be fun and hilarious. It was definitely on a lark. We weren't good. If it was an attempt at selling out, it was a very poor attempt.
MCILRITH: It was such a thing for people to move from hardcore bands to bands called 'emo' or pop-punk, as those bands were starting to get some radio play and signed to major labels. Everyone thought it was easy, but it's not as easy as that. Most guys we knew who tried it never did anything more successful than their hardcore bands. But Pete did it! And if anyone was going to, it was going to be him. He never did anything half-assed. He ended up playing bass in so many bands in Chicago, even though he could barely play the bass then, because simply putting him in your band meant you'd have a better show. He was just more into it. He knew more about dynamics, about getting a crowd to react to what you're doing than most people. Putting Pete in your band put you up a few notches.
"I'm Writing You A Chorus And Here Is Your Verse" - When Pete met Patrick, early 2001.
MARK ROSE: Patrick Stump played drums in this grindcore band called Grinding Process. They had put out a live split cassette tape.
PATRICK STUMP: My ambition always outweighed my ability or actual place in the world. I was a drummer and played in many bands and tried to finagle my way into better ones but never really managed. I was usually outgunned by the same two guys: this guy Rocky Senesce; I'm not sure if he's playing anymore, but he was amazing. And this other guy, De'Mar Hamilton, who is now in Plain White T's. We'd always go out for the same bands. I felt like I was pretty good, but then those guys just mopped the floor with me. I hadn't been playing music for a few months. I think my girlfriend dumped me. I was feeling down. I wasn't really into pop-punk or emo. I think at the time I was into Rhino Records box sets.
TROHMAN: I was at the Borders in Eden's Plaza in Wilmette, Illinois. My friend Arthur was asking me about Neurosis. Patrick just walked up and started talking to me.
STUMP: I was a bit arrogant and cocky, like a lot of young musicians. Joe was talking kind of loudly and I overheard him say something about Neurosis, and I think I came in kind of snotty, kind of correcting whatever they had said.
TROHMAN: We just started talking about music, and my buddy Arthur got shoved out of the conversation. I told him about the band we were starting. Pete was this local hardcore celebrity, which intrigued Patrick.
STUMP: I had similar conversations with any number of kids my age. This conversation didn't feel crazy special. That's one of the things that's real about [Joe and I meeting], and that's honest about it, that's it's not some 'love at first sight' thing where we started talking about music and 'Holy smokes, we're going to have the best band ever!' I had been in a lot of bands up until then. Hardcore was a couple of years away from me at that point. I was over it, but Pete was in real bands; that was interesting. Now I'm curious and I want to do this thing, or at least see what happens. Joe said they needed a drummer, guitar player, or singer, and I kind of bluffed and said I could do any one of those things for a pop-punk band. I'd had a lot of conversations about starting bands where I meet up with somebody and maybe try to figure out some songs and then we'd never see each other again. There were a lot of false starts and I assumed this would be just another one of those, but it would be fun for this one to be with the guy from Racetraitor and Extinction.
TROHMAN: He gave me the link to his MP3.com page. There were a few songs of him just playing acoustic and singing. He was awesome.
WENTZ: Joe told me we were going to this kid's house who would probably be our drummer but could also sing. He sent me a link to Patrick singing some acoustic thing, but the quality was so horrible it was hard to tell what it was. Patrick answered the door in some wild outfit. He looked like an emo kid but from the Endpoint era - dorky and cool. We went into the basement, and he was like, trying to set up his drums.
TROHMAN: Patrick has said many times that he intended to try out on drums. I was pushing for him to sing after hearing his demos. 'Hey! Sing for us!' I asked him to take out his acoustic guitar. He played songs from Saves The Day's Through Being Cool. I think he sang most of the record to us. We were thrilled. We had never been around someone who could sing like that.
WENTZ: I don't think Patrick thought we were cool at all. We were hanging out, and he started playing acoustic guitar. He started singing, and I realized he could sing any Saves The Day song. I was like, 'Wow, that's the way those bands sound! We should just have you sing.' It had to be serendipity because Patrick drumming and Joe singing is not the same band. I never thought about singing. It wasn't the type of thing I could sing. I knew I'd be playing bass. I didn't think it'd even go beyond a few practices. It didn't seem like the thing I was setting myself up to do for the next several years of my life in any way. I was going to college. It was just a fun getaway from the rest of life kind of thing to do.
STUMP: Andy was the first person we asked to play drums. Joe even brought him up in the Borders conversation. But Andy was too busy. He wasn't really interested, either, because we kind of sucked.
WENTZ: I wanted Hurley in the band, I was closest to him at the time, I had known him for a long time. I identified with him in the way that we were the younger dudes in our larger group. I tried to get him, but he was doing another band at the time, or multiple bands. He was Mani's go-to guy to play drums, always. I had asked him a few times. That should clue people into the fact that we weren't that good.
ANDY HURLEY: I knew Joe as 'Number One Fan.' We called him that because he was a huge fan of a band I was in, Kill The Slavemaster. When Fall Out Boy started, I was going to college full-time. I was in the band Project Rocket and I think The Kill Pill then, too.
MOSTOFI: After they got together the first or second time, Pete played me a recording and said, 'This is going to be big.' They had no songs, no name, no drummer. They could barely play their instruments. But Pete knew, and we believed him because we could see his drive and Patrick's potential. Patrick was prodigy. I imagine the first moment Pete heard him sing was probably like when I heard 15-year-old Andy Hurley play drums.
GUTIERREZ: One day at practice, Pete told me he had met some dudes with whom he was starting a pop-punk band. He said it would sound like a cross between New Found Glory and Lifetime. Then the more Fall Out Boy started to practice, the less active Arma Angelus became.
TROHMAN: We got hooked up with a friend named Ben Rose, who became our original drummer. We would practice in his parents' basement. We eventually wrote some pretty bad songs. I don't even have the demo. I have copies of Arma's demo, but I don't have that one.
MOSTOFI: We all knew that hardcore kids write better pop-punk songs than actual pop-punk kids. It had been proven. An experienced hardcore musician could bring a sense of aggression and urgency to the pop hooks in a way that a band like Yellowcard could never achieve. Pete and I had many conversations about this. He jokingly called it 'Softcore,' but that's precisely what it was. It's what he was going for. Take This To Your Grave sounds like Hot Topic, but it feels like CBGBs.
MCILRITH: Many hardcore guys who transitioned into pop-punk bands dumbed it down musically and lyrically. Fall Out Boy found a way to do it that wasn't dumbed down. They wrote music and lyrics that, if you listened closely, you could tell came from people who grew up into hardcore. Pete seemed to approach the song titles and lyrics the same way he attacked hardcore songs. You could see his signature on all of that.
STUMP: We all had very different ideas of what it should sound like. I signed up for Kid Dynamite, Strike Anywhere, or Dillinger Four. Pete was very into Lifetime and Saves The Day. I think both he and Joe were into New Found Glory and Blink-182. I still hadn't heard a lot of stuff. I was arrogant; I was a rock snob. I was over most pop-punk. But then I had this renaissance week where I was like, 'Man, you know what? I really do like The Descendents.' Like, the specific week I met Joe, it just happened to be that I was listening to a lot of Descendents. So, there was a part of me that was tickled by that idea. 'You know what? I'll try a pop-punk band. Why not?'
MOSTOFI: To be clear, they were trying to become a big band. But they did it by elevating radio-friendly pop punk, not debasing themselves for popularity. They were closely studying Drive-Thru Records bands like The Starting Line, who I couldn't stand. But they knew what they were doing. They extracted a few good elements from those bands and combined them with their other influences. Patrick never needed to be auto-tuned. He can sing. Pete never had to contrive this emotional depth. He always had it.
STUMP: The ideas for band names were obnoxious. At some point, Pete and I were arguing over it, and I think our first drummer, Ben Rose, who was in the hardcore band Strength In Numbers, suggested Fall Out Boy. Pete and I were like, 'Well, we don't hate that one. We'll keep it on the list.' But we never voted on a name.
"Fake It Like You Matter" - The Early Shows, 2001
The name Fall Out Boy made their shortlist, but their friends ultimately chose it for them. The line-up at the band's first show was Patrick Stump (sans guitar), Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman, drummer Ben Rose, and guitarist John Flamandan in his only FOB appearance.
STUMP: We didn't have a name at our two or three shows. We were basically booked as 'Pete's new band' as he was the most known of any of us. Pete and I were the artsy two.
TROHMAN: The rest of us had no idea what we were doing onstage.
STUMP: We took ourselves very seriously and completely different ideas on what was 'cool.' Pete at the time was somewhere between maybe Chuck Palahniuk and Charles Bukowski, and kind of New Romantic and Manchester stuff, so he had that in mind. The band names he suggested were long and verbose, somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I was pretty much only into Tom Waits, so I wanted everything to be a reference to Tom Waits. The first show was at DePaul [University] in some cafeteria. The room looked a lot nicer than punk rock shows are supposed to look, like a room where you couldn't jump off the walls. We played with a band called Stillwell. I want to say one of the other bands played Black Sabbath's Black Sabbath in its entirety. We were out of place. We were tossing a few different names around. The singer for Stillwell was in earshot of the conversation so I was like 'Hey, settle this for us,' and told him whatever name it was, which I can't remember. 'What do you think of this name?' He goes, 'It sucks.' And the way he said it, there was this element to it, like, 'You guys probably suck, too, so whatever.' That was our first show. We played first and only had three songs. That was John's only show with us, and I never saw him again. I was just singing without a guitar, and I had never just sung before; that was horrifying. We blazed through those songs.
ROSE: Patrick had this shoulder-length hair. Watching these guys who were known for heavier stuff play pop-punk was strange. Pete was hopping around with the X's on his hands. Spitalfield was similar; we were kids playing another style of music who heard Texas Is The Reason and Get Up Kids and said, 'We have to start a band like this.'
MOSTOFI: The first show was a lot of fun. The musical side wasn't there, but Pete and Patrick's humor and charisma were front and center.
TROHMAN: I remember having a conversation with Mani about stage presence. He was telling me how important it was. Coalesce and The Dillinger Escape Plan would throw mic stands and cabinets. We loved that visual excitement and appeal. Years later, Patrick sang a Fall Out Boy song with Taylor Swift at Giants Stadium. It was such a great show to watch that I was reminded of how wise Mani was to give me that advice back then. Mani was like a mentor for me, honestly. He would always guide me through stuff.
MOSTOFI: Those guys grew up in Chicago, either playing in or seeing Extinction, Racetraitor, Los Crudos, and other bands that liked to talk and talk between songs. Fall Out Boy did that, and it was amazing. Patrick was awkward in a knowing and hilarious way. He'd say something odd, and then Pete would zing him. Or Pete would try to say something too cool, and Patrick would remind him they were nerds. These are very personal memories for me. Millions of people have seen the well-oiled machine, but so few of us saw those guys when they were so carefree.
TROHMAN: We had this goofy, bad first show, but all I can tell you was that I was determined to make this band work, no matter what.
STUMP: I kind of assumed that was the end of that. 'Whatever, on with our lives.' But Joe was very determined. He was going to pick us up for practice and we were going to keep playing shows. He was going to make the band happen whether the rest of us wanted to or not. That's how we got past show number one. John left the band because we only had three songs and he wasn't very interested. In the interim, I filled in on guitar. I didn't consider myself a guitar player. Our second show was a college show in Southern Illinois or something.
MCILRITH: That show was with my other band, The Killing Tree.
STUMP: We showed up late and played before The Killing Tree. There was no one there besides the bands and our friends. I think we had voted on some names. Pete said 'Hey, we're whatever!'; probably something very long. And someone yells out, 'Fuck that, no, you're Fall Out Boy!' Then when The Killing Tree was playing, Tim said, 'I want to thank Fall Out Boy.' Everyone looked up to Tim, so when he forced the name on us, it was fine. I was a diehard Simpsons fan, without question. I go pretty deep on The Simpsons. Joe and I would just rattle off Simpsons quotes. I used to do a lot of Simpsons impressions. Ben was very into Simpsons; he had a whole closet full of Simpsons action figures.
"If Only You Knew I Was Terrified" - The Early Recordings, 2002-2003
Wentz's relationships in the hardcore scene led to Fall Out Boy's first official releases. A convoluted and rarely properly explained chain of events resulted in the Fall Out Boy/Project Rocket split EP and Fall Out Boy's Evening Out with Your Girlfriend. Both were issued by California's Uprising Records, whose discography included Racetraitor's first album and the debut EP by Burn It Down. The band traveled to Wisconsin to record their first proper demo with engineer Jared Logan, drummer for Uprising's 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
TROHMAN: This isn't to be confused with the demo we did in Ben's basement, which was like a tape demo. This was our first real demo.
STUMP: Between booking the demo and recording it, we lost Ben Rose. He was the greatest guy, but it wasn't working out musically. Pete and Joe decided I should play drums on the demo. But Jared is a sick drummer, so he just did it.
TROHMAN: We had gotten this great singer but went through a series of drummers that didn't work out. I had to be the one who kicked Ben out. Not long after, our friend Brett Bunting played with us. I don't think he really wanted to do it, which was a bummer.
STUMP: I showed up to record that demo, feeling pulled into it. I liked hanging out with the guys, but I was a rock snob who didn't really want to be making that type of music. The first few songs were really rough. We were sloppy. We barely practiced. Pete was in Arma Angelus. Joe was the guy determined to make it happen. We couldn't keep a drummer or guitar player, and I could barely play guitar. I didn't really want to be in Fall Out Boy. We had these crappy songs that kind of happened; it didn't feel like anything. Joe did the guitars. I go in to do the vocals, I put on the headphones, and it starts playing and was kind of not bad! It was pretty good, actually. I was shocked. That was the first time I was like, 'Maybe I am supposed to be in this band.' I enjoyed hearing it back.
SEAN MUTTAQI: Wentz and I were pretty tight. He sent me some demos, and while I didn't know it would get as big as it did, I knew it was special. Wentz had a clear vision. Of all the guys from that scene, he was the most singularly focused on taking things to the next level. He was ahead of the game with promotion and the early days of social media.
STUMP: Arma Angelus had been on Eulogy. We talked to them a bit and spoke to Uprising because they had put out Racetraitor. At some point, the demo got to Sean, and he decided to make it half of a split with Andy's band, Project Rocket. We were pretty happy with that.
HURLEY: It was kind of competitive for me at the time. Project Rocket and Fall Out Boy were both doing pop-punk/pop-rock, I met Patrick through the band. I didn't really know him before Fall Out Boy.
TROHMAN: We got this drummer, Mike Pareskuwicz, who had been in a hardcore band from Central Illinois called Subsist.
STUMP: Uprising wanted us to make an album. We thought that was cool, but we only had those three songs that were on the split. We were still figuring ourselves out. One of the times we were recording with Jared in the studio, for the split or the album, this guy T.J. Kunasch was there. He was like, 'Hey, do you guys need a guitarist?' And he joined.
MUTTAQI: I borrowed some money to get them back in the studio. The songwriting was cool on that record, but it was all rushed. The urgency to get something out led to the recording being subpar. Their new drummer looked the part but couldn't really play. They had already tracked the drums before they realized it didn't sound so hot.
STUMP: The recording experience was not fun. We had two days to do an entire album. Mike was an awesome dude, but he lived crazy far away, in Kanakee, Illinois, so the drive to Milwaukee wasn't easy for him. He had to work or something the next day. So, he did everything in one take and left. He played alone, without a click, so it was a ness to figure out. We had to guess where the guitar was supposed to go. None of us liked the songs because we had slapped them together. We thought it all sucked. But I thought, 'Well, at least it'll be cool to have something out.' Then a lot of time went by. Smaller labels were at the mercy of money, and it was crazy expensive to put out a record back then.
MUTTAQI: Our record was being rushed out to help generate some interest, but that interest was building before we could even get the record out. We were beholden to finances while changing distribution partners and dealing with other delays. The buck stops with me, yes, but I didn't have that much control over the scheduling.
WENTZ: It's not what I would consider the first Fall Out Boy record. Hurley isn't on it and he's an integral part of the Fall Out Boy sound. But it is part of the history, the legacy. NASA didn't go right to the moon. They did test flights in the desert. Those are our test flights in the desert. It's not something I'm ashamed of or have weird feelings about.
STUMP: It's kind of embarrassing to me. Evening Out... isn't representative of the band we became. I liked Sean a lot, so it's nothing against him. If anybody wants to check out the band in that era, I think the split EP is a lot cooler. Plus, Andy is on that one.
TROHMAN: T.J. was the guy who showed up to the show without a guitar. He was the guy that could never get it right, but he was in the band for a while because we wanted a second guitar player. He's a nice dude but wasn't great to be in a band with back then. One day he drove unprompted from Racine to Chicago to pick up some gear. I don't know how he got into my parents' house, but the next thing I knew, he was in my bedroom. I didn't like being woken up and kicked him out of the band from bed.
STUMP: Our friend Brian Bennance asked us to do a split 7" with 504 Plan, which was a big band to us. Brian offered to pay for us to record with Sean O'Keefe, which was also a big deal. Mike couldn't get the time off work to record with us. We asked Andy to play on the songs. He agreed to do it, but only if he could make it in time after recording an entire EP with his band, The Kill Pill, in Chicago, on the same day.
MOSTOFI: Andy and I started The Kill Pill shortly after Racetraitor split up, not long after Fall Out Boy had formed. We played a bunch of local shows together. The minute Andy finished tracking drums for our EP in Chicago, he raced to the other studio in Madison.
STUMP: I'm getting ready to record the drums myself, getting levels and checking the drums, pretty much ready to go. And then in walks Andy Hurley. I was a little bummed because I really wanted to play drums that day. But then Andy goes through it all in like two takes and fucking nailed the entire thing. He just knocked it out of the park. All of us were like, 'That's crazy!'
WENTZ: When Andy came in, It just felt different. It was one of those 'a-ha' moments.
STUMP: Sean leaned over to us and said, 'You need to get this guy in the band.'
SEAN O'KEEFE: We had a blast. We pumped It out. We did it fast and to analog tape. People believe it was very Pro Tools oriented, but it really was done to 24-track tape. Patrick sang his ass off.
STUMP: The songs we had were 'Dead On Arrival,' 'Saturday,' and 'Homesick at Space Camp. There are quite a few songs that ended up on Take This To You Grave where I wrote most of the lyrics but Pete titled them.
WENTZ: 'Space Camp' was a reference to the 1986 movie, SpaceCamp, and the idea of space camp. Space camp wasn't something anyone in my area went to. Maybe they did, but it was never an option for me. It seems like the little kid version of meeting Jay-Z. The idea was also: what if you, like Joaquin Phoenix in the movie, took off to outer space and wanted to get home? 'I made it to space and now I'm just homesick and want to hang out with my friends.' In the greater sense, it's about having it all, but it's still not enough. There's a pop culture reference in 'Saturday' that a lot of people miss. 'Pete and I attack the lost Astoria' was a reference to The Goonies, which was filmed in Astoria, Oregon.
HURLEY: I remember hearing those recordings, especially 'Dead on Arrival,' and Patrick's voice and how well written those songs were, especially relative to anything else I had done - I had a feeling that this could do something.
WENTZ: It seemed like it would stall out if we didn't get a solid drummer in the band soon. That was the link that we couldn't nail down. Patrick was always a big musical presence. He thinks and writes rhythmi-cally, and we couldn't get a drummer to do what he wanted or speak his language. Hurley was the first one that could. It's like hearing two drummers talk together when they really get it. It sounds like a foreign language because it's not something I'm keyed into. Patrick needed someone on a similar musical plane. I wasn't there. Joe was younger and was probably headed there.
HURLEY: When Patrick was doing harmonies, it was like Queen. He's such a brilliant dude. I was always in bands that did a record and then broke up. I felt like this was a band that could tour a lot like the hardcore bands we loved, even if we had to have day jobs, too.
"(Four) Tired Boys And A Broken Down Van" - The Early Tours, 2002-2003
STUMP: We booked a tour with Spitalfield, another Chicago band, who had records out, so they were a big deal to us. We replaced T.J. with a guy named Brandon Hamm. He was never officially in the band. He quit when we were practicing 'Saturday.' He goes, 'I don't like that. I don't want to do this anymore.' Pete talked with guitarist Chris Envy from Showoff, who had just broken up. Chris said, 'Yeah, I'll play in your band.' He came to two practices, then quit like two days before the tour. It was only a two-week tour, but Mike couldn't get the time off work from Best Buy, or maybe it was Blockbuster. We had to lose Mike, which was the hardest member change for me. It was unpleasant.
TROHMAN: We had been trying to get Andy to join the band for a while. Even back at that first Borders conversation, we talked about him, but he was too busy at the time.
STUMP: I borrowed one of Joe's guitars and jumped in the fire. We were in this legendarily shitty used van Pete had gotten. It belonged to some flower shop, so it had this ominously worn-out flower decal outside and no windows [except in the front]. Crappy brakes, no A/C, missing the rearview mirror, no seats in the back, only the driver's seat. About 10 minutes into the tour, we hit something. A tire exploded and slingshot into the passenger side mirror, sending glass flying into the van. We pulled over into some weird animal petting zoo. I remember thinking, 'This is a bad omen for this tour.' Spitalfield was awesome, and we became tight with them. Drew Brown, who was later in Weekend Nachos, was out with them, too. But most of the shows were canceled.
WENTZ: We'd end up in a town, and our show was canceled, or we'd have three days off. 'Let's just get on whatever show we can. Whatever, you can pay us in pizza.'
STUMP: We played in a pizza place. We basically blocked the line of people trying to order pizza, maybe a foot away from the shitty tables. Nobody is trying to watch a band. They're just there to eat pizza. And that was perhaps the biggest show we played on that tour. One of the best moments on the Spitalfied tour was in Lincoln, Nebraska. The local opener wasn't even there - they were at the bar across the street and showed up later with two people. Fall Out Boy played for Spitalfield, and Spitalfield played for Fall Out Boy. Even the sound guy had left. It was basically an empty room. It was miserable.
HURLEY: Even though we played a ton of shows in front of just the other bands, it was awesome. I've known Pete forever and always loved being in bands with him. After that tour, it was pretty much agreed that I would be in the band. I wanted to be in the band.
WENTZ: We would play literally any show in those days for free. We played Chain Reaction in Orange County with a bunch of metalcore bands. I want to say Underoath was one of them. I remember a lot of black shirts and crossed arms at those kinds of shows. STUMP: One thing that gets lost in the annals of history is Fall Out Boy, the discarded hardcore band. We played so many hardcore shows! The audiences were cool, but they were just like, 'This is OK, but we'd really rather be moshing right now.' Which was better than many of the receptions we got from pop-punk kids.
MOSTOFI: Pete made sure there was little division between the band and the audience. In hardcore, kids are encouraged to grab the mic. Pete was very conscious about making the crowd feel like friends. I saw them in Austin, Texas, in front of maybe ten kids. But it was very clear all ten of those kids felt like Pete's best friends. And they were, in a way.
MCILRITH: People started to get into social networking. That kind of thing was all new to us, and they were way ahead. They networked with their fans before any of us.
MOSTOFI: Pete shared a lot about his life online and was intimate as hell. It was a new type of scene. Pete extended the band's community as far as fiber optics let him.
ROSE: Pete was extremely driven. Looking back, I wish I had that killer instinct. During that tour; we played a show in Colorado. On the day of the show, we went to Kinko's to make flyers to hand out to college kids. Pete put ‘members of Saves The Day and Screeching Weasel’ on the flyer. He was just like, 'This will get people in.'
WENTZ: We booked a lot of our early shows through hardcore connections, and to some extent, that carries through to what Fall Out Boy shows are like today. If you come to see us play live, we're basically Slayer compared to everyone else when we play these pop radio shows. Some of that carries back to what you must do to avoid being heckled at hardcore shows. You may not like our music, but you will leave here respecting us. Not everyone is going to love you. Not everyone is going to give a shit. But you need to earn a crowd's respect. That was an important way for us to learn that.
MOSTOFI: All those dudes, except Andy, lived in this great apartment with our friend Brett Bunting, who was almost their drummer at one point. The proximity helped them gel.
STUMP: There were a lot of renegade last-minute shows where we'd just call and get added. We somehow ended up on a show with Head Automatica that way.
MCILRITH: At some point early on, they opened for Rise Against in a church basement in Downers Grove. We were doing well then; headlining that place was a big deal. Then Pete's band was coming up right behind us, and you could tell there was a lot of chatter about Fall Out Boy. I remember getting to the show, and there were many people there, many of whom I had never seen in the scene before. A lot of unfamiliar faces. A lot of people that wouldn't have normally found their way to the seedy Fireside Bowl in Chicago. These were young kids, and I was 21 then, so when I say young, I mean really young. Clearly, Fall Out Boy had tapped into something the rest of us had not. People were super excited to see them play and freaked out; there was a lot of enthusiasm at that show. After they finished, their fans bailed. They were dedicated. They wanted to see Fall Out Boy. They didn't necessarily want to see Rise Against play. That was my first clue that, 'Whoa, what Pete told me that day at Arma Angelus rehearsal is coming true. He was right.' Whatever he was doing was working.
"My Insides Are Copper, And I'd Like To Make Them Gold" - The Record Labels Come Calling, 2002
STUMP: The split EP was going to be a three-way split with 504 Plan, August Premier, and us at one point. But then the record just never happened. Brian backed out of putting it out. We asked him if we could do something else with the three songs and he didn't really seem to care. So, we started shopping the three songs as a demo. Pete ended up framing the rejection letters we got from a lot of pop-punk labels. But some were interested.
HURLEY: We wanted to be on Drive-Thru Records so bad. That was the label.
RICHARD REINES: After we started talking to them, I found the demo they had sent us in the office. I played it for my sister. We decided everything together. She liked them but wasn't as crazy about them as I was. We arranged with Pete to see them practice. We had started a new label called Rushmore. Fall Out Boy wasn't the best live band. We weren't thrilled [by the showcase]. But the songs were great. We both had to love a band to sign them, so my sister said, 'If you love them so much, let's sign them to Rushmore, not Drive Thru.'
HURLEY: We did a showcase for Richard and Stephanie Reines. They were just kind of like, 'Yeah, we have this side label thing. We'd be interested in having you on that.' I remember them saying they passed on Saves The Day and wished they would have put out Through Being Cool. But then they [basically] passed on us by offering to put us on Rushmore. We realized we could settle for that, but we knew it wasn't the right thing.
RORY FELTON: Kevin Knight had a website, TheScout, which always featured great new bands. I believe he shared the demo with us. I flew out to Chicago. Joe and Patrick picked me up at the airport. I saw them play at a VFW hall, Patrick drank an entire bottle of hot sauce on a dare at dinner, and then we all went to see the movie The Ring. I slept on the couch in their apartment, the one featured on the cover of Take This To Your Grave. Chad [Pearson], my partner, also flew out to meet with the band.
STUMP: It was a weird time to be a band because it was feast or famine. At first, no one wanted us. Then as soon as one label said, 'Maybe we'll give 'em a shot,' suddenly there's a frenzy of phone calls from record labels. We were getting our shirts printed by Victory Records. One day, we went to pick up shirts, and someone came downstairs and said, 'Um, guys? [Owner] Tony [Brummel] wants to see you.' We were like, 'Did we forget to pay an invoice?' He made us an offer on the spot. We said, 'That's awesome, but we need to think about it.' It was one of those 'now or never' kinds of things. I think we had even left the van running. It was that kind of sudden; we were overwhelmed by it.
HURLEY: They told me Tony said something like, 'You can be with the Nike of the record industry or the Keds of the record industry.'
STUMP: We'd get random calls at the apartment. 'Hey, I'm a manager with so-and-so.' I talked to some boy band manager who said, 'We think you'll be a good fit.'
TROHMAN: The idea of a manager was a ‘big-time' thing. I answered a call one day, and this guy is like, 'I'm the manager for the Butthole Surfers, and I'd really like to work with you guys.' I just said, Yeah, I really like the Butthole Surfers, but I'll have to call you back.' And I do love that band. But I just knew that wasn't the right thing.
STUMP: Not all the archetypes you always read about are true. The label guys aren't all out to get you. Some are total douchebags. But then there are a lot who are sweet and genuine. It's the same thing with managers. I really liked the Militia Group. They told us it was poor form to talk to us without a manager. They recommended Bob McLynn.
FELTON: We knew the guys at Crush from working with Acceptance and The Beautiful Mistake. We thought they'd be great for Fall Out Boy, so we sent the music to their team.
STUMP: They said Crush was their favorite management company and gave us their number. Crush's biggest band at the time was American Hi-Fi. Jonathan Daniels, the guy who started the company, sent a manager to see us. The guy was like, "This band sucks!' But Jonathan liked us and thought someone should do something with us. Bob was his youngest rookie manager. He had never managed anyone, and we had never been managed.
BOB MCLYNN: Someone else from my office who isn't with us anymore had seen them, but I hadn't seen them yet. At the time, we'd tried to manage Brand New; they went elsewhere, and I was bummed. Then we got the Fall Out Boy demo, and I was like, Wow. This sounds even better. This guy can really sing, and these songs are great.' I remember going at it hard after that whole thing. Fall Out Boy was my consolation prize. I don't know if they were talking to other managers or not, but Pete and I clicked.
TROHMAN: In addition to being really creative, Pete is really business savvy. We all have a bullshit detector these days, but Pete already had one back then. We met Bob, and we felt like this dude wouldn't fuck us over.
STUMP: We were the misfit toy that nobody else wanted. Bob really believed in us when nobody else did and when nobody believed in him. What's funny is that all the other managers at Crush were gone within a year. It was just Bob and Jonathan, and now they're partners. Bob was the weird New York Hardcore guy who scared me at the time.
TROHMAN: We felt safe with him. He's a big, hulking dude.
MCLYNN: We tried to make a deal with The Militia Group, but they wouldn't back off on a few things in the agreement. I told them those were deal breakers, opening the door to everyone else. I knew this band needed a shot to do bigger and better things.
TROHMAN: He told us not to sign with the label that recommended him to us. We thought there was something very honest about that.
MCLYNN: They paid all their dues. Those guys worked harder than any band I'd ever seen, and I was all about it. I had been in bands before and had just gotten out. I was getting out of the van just as these guys got into one. They busted their asses.
STUMP: A few labels basically said the same thing: they wanted to hear more. They weren't convinced we could write another song as good as 'Dead On Arrival.' I took that as a challenge. We returned to Sean a few months after those initial three songs, this time at Gravity Studios in Chicago. We recorded ‘Grenade Jumper' and 'Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy' in a night or two. 'Where is Your Boy' was my, 'Fine, you don't think I can write a fucking song? Here's your hit song, jerks!' But I must have pushed Pete pretty hard [arguing about the songs]. One night, as he and I drove with Joe, Pete said, 'Guys, I don't think I want to do this band anymore.' We talked about it for the rest of the ride home. I didn't want to be in the band in the first place! I was like, 'No! That's not fair! Don't leave me with this band! Don't make me kind of like this band, and then leave it! That's bullshit!' Pete didn't stay at the apartment that night. I called him at his parent's house. I told him I wasn't going to do the band without him. He was like, 'Don't break up your band over it.' I said, 'It's not my band. It's a band that you, Joe, and I started.' He was like, 'OK, I'll stick around.' And he came back with a vengeance.
WENTZ: It was maybe the first time we realized we could do these songs titles that didn't have much do with the song from the outside. Grand Theft Auto was such a big pop culture franchise. If you said the phrase back then, everyone recognized it. The play on words was about someone stealing your time in the fall. It was the earliest experimentation with that so it was a little simplistic compared to the stuff we did later. At the time, we'd tell someone the song title, and they'd say, 'You mean "Auto"'?
JOHN JANICK: I saw their name on fliers and thought it was strange. But I remembered it. Then I saw them on a flyer with one of our bands from Chicago, August Premier. I called them and asked about this band whose name I had seen on a few flyers now. They told me they were good and I should check it out. I heard an early version of a song online and instantly fell in love with it. Drive-Thru, The Militia Group, and a few majors tried to sign them. I was the odd man out. But I knew I wanted them right away.
HURLEY: Fueled By Ramen was co-owned by Vinnie [Fiorello] from Less Than Jake. It wasn't necessarily a band I grew up loving, but I had so much respect for them and what they had done and were doing.
JANICK: I randomly cold-called them at the apartment and spoke to Patrick. He told me I had to talk to Pete. I spoke to Pete later that day. We ended up talking on the phone for an hour. It was crazy. I never flew out there. I just got to know them over the phone.
MCLYNN: There were majors [interested], but I didn't want the band on a major right away. I knew they wouldn't understand the band. Rob Stevenson from Island Records knew all the indie labels were trying to sign Fall Out Boy. We did this first-ever incubator sort of deal. I also didn't want to stay on an indie forever; I felt we needed to develop and have a chance to do bigger and better things, but these indies didn't necessarily have radio staff. It was sort of the perfect scenario. Island gave us money to go on Fueled By Ramen, with whom we did a one-off. No one else would offer a one-off on an indie.
STUMP: They were the smallest of the labels involved, with the least 'gloss.' I said, 'I don't know about this, Pete.' Pete was the one who thought it was the smartest move. He pointed out that we could be a big fish in a small pond. So, we rolled the dice.
HURLEY: It was a one-record deal with Fueled By Ramen. We didn't necessarily get signed to Island, but they had the 'right of first refusal' [for the album following Take This To Your Grave]. It was an awesome deal. It was kind of unheard of, maybe, but there was a bunch of money coming from Island that we didn't have to recoup for promo type of things.
JANICK: The company was so focused on making sure we broke Fall Out Boy; any other label probably wouldn't have had that dedication. Pete and I talked for at least an hour every day. Pete and I became so close, so much so that we started Decaydance. It was his thing, but we ended up signing Panic! At The Disco, Gym Class Heroes, Cobra Starship.
GUTIERREZ: Who could predict Pete would A&R all those bands? There's no Panic! At The Disco or Gym Class Heroes without Wentz. He made them into celebrities.
"Turn This Up And I'll Tune You Out" - The Making of Take This To You Grave, 2003
The versions of "Dead on Arrival," "Saturday," and "Homesick at Space Camp" from the first sessions with Andy on drums are what appear on the album. "Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy" and "Grenade Jumper" are the demo versions recorded later in Chicago. O'Keefe recorded the music for the rest of the songs at Smart Studios once again. They knocked out the remaining songs in just nine days. Sean and Patrick snuck into Gravity Studios in the middle of the night to track vocals in the dead of winter. Patrick sang those seven songs from two to five in the morning in those sessions.
STUMP: John Janick basically said, ‘I'll buy those five songs and we'll make them part of the album, and here's some money to go record seven more.'
MCLYNN: It was a true indie deal with Fueled by Ramen. I think we got between $15,000 and $18,000 all-in to make the album. The band slept on the studio floor some nights.
STUMP: From a recording standpoint, it was amazing. It was very pro, we had Sean, all this gear, the fun studio accoutrements were there. It was competitive with anything we did afterward. But meanwhile, we're still four broke idiots.
WENTZ: We fibbed to our parents about what we were doing. I was supposed to be in school. I didn't have access to money or a credit card. I don't think any of us did.
STUMP: I don't think we slept anywhere we could shower, which was horrifying. There was a girl that Andy's girlfriend at the time went to school with who let us sleep on her floor, but we'd be there for maybe four hours at a time. It was crazy.
HURLEY: Once, Patrick thought it would be a good idea to spray this citrus bathroom spray under his arms like deodorant. It just destroyed him because it's not made for that. But it was all an awesome adventure.
WENTZ: We were so green we didn't really know how studios worked. Every day there was soda for the band. We asked, 'Could you take that soda money and buy us peanut butter, jelly, and bread?' which they did. I hear that stuff in some ways when I listen to that album.
HURLEY: Sean pushed us. He was such a perfectionist, which was awesome. I felt like, ‘This is what a real professional band does.' It was our first real studio experience.
WENTZ: Seeing the Nirvana Nevermind plaque on the wall was mind-blowing. They showed us the mic that had been used on that album.
HURLEY: The mic that Kurt Cobain used, that was pretty awesome, crazy, legendary, and cool. But we didn't get to use it.
WENTZ: They said only Shirley Manson] from Garbage could use it.
O'KEEFE: Those dudes were all straight edge at the time. It came up in conversation that I had smoked weed once a few months before. That started this joke that I was this huge stoner, which obviously I wasn't. They'd call me 'Scoobie Snacks O'Keefe' and all these things. When they turned in the art for the record, they thanked me with like ten different stoner nicknames - 'Dimebag O'Keefe' and stuff like that. The record company made Pete take like seven of them out because they said it was excessively ridiculous.
WENTZ: Sean was very helpful. He worked within the budget and took us more seriously than anyone else other than Patrick. There were no cameras around. There was no documentation. There was nothing to indicate this would be some ‘legendary' session. There are 12 songs on the album because those were all the songs we had. There was no pomp or circumstance or anything to suggest it would be an 'important’ record.
STUMP: Pete and I were starting to carve out our niches. When Pete [re-committed himself to the band], it felt like he had a list of things in his head he wanted to do right. Lyrics were on that list. He wasn't playing around anymore. I wrote the majority of the lyrics up to that point - ‘Saturday,' 'Dead on Arrival,' ‘Where's Your Boy?,’ ‘Grenade Jumper,' and ‘Homesick at Space Camp.' I was an artsy-fartsy dude who didn't want to be in a pop-punk band, so I was going really easy on the lyrics. I wasn't taking them seriously. When I look back on it, I did write some alright stuff. But I wasn't trying. Pete doesn't fuck around like that, and he does not take that kindly. When we returned to the studio, he started picking apart every word, every syllable. He started giving me [notes]. I got so exasperated at one point I was like, ‘You just write the fucking lyrics, dude. Just give me your lyrics, and I'll write around them.' Kind of angrily. So, he did. We hadn't quite figured out how to do it, though. I would write a song, scrap my lyrics, and try to fit his into where mine had been. It was exhausting. It was a rough process. It made both of us unhappy.
MCLYNN: I came from the post-hardcore scene in New York and wasn't a big fan of the pop-punk stuff happening. What struck me with these guys was the phenomenal lyrics and Patrick's insane voice. Many guys in these kinds of bands can sing alright, but Patrick was like a real singer. This guy had soul. He'd take these great lyrics Pete wrote and combine it with that soul, and that's what made their unique sound. They both put their hearts on their sleeves when they wrote together.
STUMP: We had a massive fight over 'Chicago is So Two Years Ago.' I didn't even want to record that song. I was being precious with things that were mine. Part of me thought the band wouldn't work out, and I'd go to college and do some music alone. I had a skeletal version of 'Chicago...'. I was playing it to myself in the lobby of the studio. I didn't know anyone was listening. Sean was walking by and wanted to [introduce it to the others]. I kind of lost my song. I was very precious about it. Pete didn't like some of the lyrics, so we fought. We argued over each word, one at a time. 'Tell That Mick...' was also a pretty big fight. Pete ended up throwing out all my words on that one. That was the first song where he wrote the entire set of lyrics. My only change was light that smoke' instead of ‘cigarette' because I didn't have enough syllables to say 'cigarette.' Everything else was verbatim what he handed to me. I realized I must really want to be in this band at this point if I'm willing to put up with this much fuss. The sound was always more important to me - the rhythm of the words, alliteration, syncopation - was all very exciting. Pete didn't care about any of that. He was all meaning. He didn't care how good the words sounded if they weren't amazing when you read them. Man, did we fight about that. We fought for nine days straight while not sleeping and smelling like shit. It was one long argument, but I think some of the best moments resulted from that.
WENTZ: In 'Calm Before the Storm,' Patrick wrote the line, 'There's a song on the radio that says, 'Let's Get This Party Started' which is a direct reference to Pink's 2001 song 'Get the Party Started.' 'Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today' is a line from the movie Rushmore. I thought we'd catch a little more flack for that, but even when we played it in Ireland, there was none of that. It's embraced, more like a shoutout.
STUMP: Pete and I met up on a lot of the same pop culture. He was more into '80s stuff than I was. One of the first things we talked about were Wes Anderson movies.
WENTZ: Another thing driving that song title was the knowledge that our fanbase wouldn't necessarily be familiar with Wes Anderson. It could be something that not only inspired us but something fans could also go check out. People don't ask us about that song so much now, but in that era, we'd answer and tell them to go watch Rushmore. You gotta see this movie. This line is a hilarious part of it.' Hopefully some people did. I encountered Jason Schwartzman at a party once. We didn't get to talk about the movie, but he was the sweetest human, and I was just geeking out. He told me he was writing a film with Wes Anderson about a train trip in India. I wanted to know about the writing process. He was like, 'Well, he's in New York City, I'm in LA. It's crazy because I'm on the phone all the time and my ear gets really hot.' That's the anecdote I got, and I loved it.
O'KEEFE: They're totally different people who approach making music from entirely different angles. It's cool to see them work. Pete would want a certain lyric. Patrick was focused on the phrasing. Pete would say the words were stupid and hand Patrick a revision, and Patrick would say I can't sing those the way I need to sing this. They would go through ten revisions for one song. I thought I would lose my mind with both of them, but then they would find it, and it would be fantastic. When they work together, it lights up. It takes on a life of its own. It's not always happy. There's a lot of push and pull, and each is trying to get their thing. With Take This To Your Grave, we never let anything go until all three of us were happy. Those guys were made to do this together.
WENTZ: A lot of the little things weren't a big deal, but those were things that [felt like] major decisions. I didn't want 'Where Is Your Boy' on Take This To Your Grave.
JANICK: I freaked out. I called Bob and said, 'We must put this song on the album! It's one of the biggest songs.' He agreed. We called Pete and talked about it; he was cool about it and heard us out.
WENTZ: I thought many things were humongous, and they just weren't. They didn't matter one way or another.
"Our Lawyer Made Us Change The (Album Cover)" - That Photo On Take This To Your Grave, 2003
STUMP: The band was rooted in nostalgia from early on. The '80s references were very much Pete's aesthetic. He had an idea for the cover. It ended up being his girlfriend at the time, face down on the bed, exhausted, in his bedroom. That was his bedroom in our apartment. His room was full of toys, '80s cereals. If we ended up with the Abbey Road cover of pop-punk, that original one was Sgt. Pepper's. But we couldn't legally clear any of the stuff in the photo. Darth Vader, Count Chocula…
WENTZ: There's a bunch of junk in there: a Morrissey poster, I think a Cher poster, Edward Scissorhands. We submitted it to Fueled by Ramen, and they were like, 'We can't clear any of this stuff.’ The original album cover did eventually come out on the vinyl version.
STUMP: The photo that ended up being the cover was simply a promo photo for that album cycle. We had to scramble. I was pushing the Blue Note jazz records feel. That's why the CD looks a bit like vinyl and why our names are listed on the front. I wanted a live photo on the cover. Pete liked the Blue Note idea but didn't like the live photo idea. I also made the fateful decision to have my name listed as 'Stump' rather than Stumph.
WENTZ: What we used was initially supposed to be the back cover. I remember someone in the band being pissed about it forever. Not everyone was into having our names on the cover. It was a strange thing to do at the time. But had the original cover been used, it wouldn't have been as iconic as what we ended up with. It wouldn't have been a conversation piece. That stupid futon in our house was busted in the middle. We're sitting close to each other because the futon was broken. The exposed brick wall was because it was the worst apartment ever. It makes me wonder: How many of these are accidental moments? At the time, there was nothing iconic about it. If we had a bigger budget, we probably would have ended up with a goofier cover that no one would have cared about.
STUMP: One of the things I liked about the cover was that it went along with something Pete had always said. I'm sure people will find this ironic, but Pete had always wanted to create a culture with the band where it was about all four guys and not just one guy. He had the foresight to even think about things like that. I didn't think anyone would give a fuck about our band! At the time, it was The Pete Wentz Band to most people. With that album cover, he was trying to reject that and [demonstrate] that all four of us mattered. A lot of people still don't get that, but whatever. I liked that element of the cover. It felt like a team. It felt like Voltron. It wasn't what I like to call 'the flying V photo' where the singer is squarely in the center, the most important, and everyone else is nearest the camera in order of 'importance.' The drummer would be in the very back. Maybe the DJ guy who scratches records was behind the drummer.
"You Need Him. I Could Be Him. Where Is Your Boy Tonight?" - The Dynamics of Punk Pop's Fab 4, 2003
Patrick seemed like something of the anti-frontman, never hogging the spotlight and often shrinking underneath his baseball hat. Wentz was more talkative, more out front on stage and in interviews, in a way that felt unprecedented for a bass player who wasn't also singing. In some ways, Fall Out Boy operated as a two-headed dictatorship. Wentz and Stump are in the car's front seat while Joe and Andy ride in the back.
STUMP: There is a lot of truth to that. Somebody must be in the front seat, no question. But the analogy doesn't really work for us; were more like a Swiss Army knife. You've got all these different attachments, but they are all part of the same thing. When you need one specific tool, the rest go back into the handle. That was how the band functioned and still does in many ways. Pete didn't want anyone to get screwed. Some things we've done might not have been the best business decision but were the right human decision. That was very much Pete's thing. I was 19 and very reactionary. If someone pissed me off, I'd be like, 'Screw them forever!' But Pete was very tactful. He was the business guy. Joe was active on the internet. He wouldn't stop believing in this band. He was the promotions guy. Andy was an honest instrumentalist: ‘I'm a drummer, and I'm going to be the best fucking drummer I can be.' He is very disciplined. None of us were that way aside from him. I was the dictator in the studio. I didn't know what producing was at the time or how it worked, but in retrospect, I've produced a lot of records because I'm an asshole in the studio. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not the nicest guy in the studio. It's a lot easier to know what you don't want. We carved out those roles early. We were very dependent on each other.
MCLYNN: I remember sitting in Japan with those guys. None of them were drinking then, but I was drinking plenty. It was happening there, their first time over, and all the shows were sold out. I remember looking at Pete and Patrick and telling Pete, ‘You're the luckiest guy in the world because you found this guy.' Patrick laughed. Then I turned to Patrick and said the same thing to him. Because really, they're yin and yang. They fit together so perfectly. The fact that Patrick found this guy with this vision, Pete had everything for the band laid out in his mind. Patrick, how he can sing, and what he did with Pete's lyrics - no one else could have done that. We tried it, even with the Black Cards project in 2010. We'd find these vocalists. Pete would write lyrics, and they'd try to form them into songs, but they just couldn't do it the way Patrick could. Pete has notebooks full of stuff that Patrick turns into songs. Not only can he sing like that, but how he turns those into songs is an art unto itself. It's really the combination of those two guys that make Fall Out Boy what it is. They're fortunate they found each other.
"I Could Walk This Fine Line Between Elation And Success. We All Know Which Way I'm Going To Strike The Stake Between My Chest" - Fall Out Boy Hits the Mainstream, 2003
Released on May 6, 2003, Take This To Your Grave massively connected with fans. (Fall Out Boy's Evening Out with Your Girlfriend arrived in stores less than two months earlier.) While Take This To Your Grave didn't crack the Billboard 200 upon its release, it eventually spent 30 weeks on the charts. From Under the Cork Tree debuted in the Top 10 just two years later, largely on Grave's momentum. 2007's Infinity on High bowed at #1.
WENTZ: I remember noticing it was getting insane when we would do in-stores. We'd still play anywhere. That was our deal. We liked being able to sell our stuff in the stores, too. It would turn into a riot. We played a Hollister at the mall in Schaumburg, Illinois. A lot of these stores were pretty corporate with a lot of rules, but Hollister would let us rip. Our merch guy was wearing board shorts, took this surfboard off the wall, and started crowd-surfing with it during the last song. I remember thinking things had gotten insane right at that moment.
HURLEY: When we toured with Less Than Jake, there were these samplers with two of their songs and two of ours. Giving those out was a surreal moment. To have real promotion for a record... It wasn't just an ad in a 'zine or something. It was awesome.
MCLYNN: They toured with The Reunion Show, Knockout, and Punch-line. One of their first big tours as an opening act was with MEST. There would be sold-out shows with 1,000 kids, and they would be singing along to Fall Out Boy much louder than to MEST. It was like, 'What's going on here?' It was the same deal with Less Than Jake. It really started catching fire months into the album being out. You just knew something was happening. As a headliner, they went from 500-capacity clubs to 1500 - 2000 capacity venues.
WENTZ: We always wanted to play The Metro in Chicago. It got awkward when they started asking us to play after this band or that band. There were bands we grew up with that were now smaller than us. Headlining The Metro was just wild. My parents came.
MCLYNN: There was a week on Warped Tour, and there was some beel because these guys were up-and-comers, and some of the bands that were a little more established weren't too happy. They were getting a little shit on Warped Tour that week, sort of their initiation. They were on this little, shitty stage. So many kids showed up to watch them in Detroit, and the kids rushed the stage, and it collapsed. The PA failed after like three songs. They finished with an acapella, 'Where is Your Boy,’ and the whole crowd sang along.
WENTZ: That's when every show started ending in a riot because it couldn't be contained. We ended up getting banned from a lot of venues because the entire crowd would end up onstage. It was pure energy. We'd be billed on tour as the opening band, and the promoter would tell us we had to close the show or else everyone would leave after we played. We were a good band to have that happen to because there wasn't any ego. We were just like, "Oh, that's weird.' It was just bizarre. When my parents saw it was this wid thing, they said, 'OK, yeah, maybe take a year off from college.' That year is still going on.
MCLYNN: That Warped Tour was when the band's first big magazine cover, by far, hit the stands. I give a lot of credit to Norman Wonderly and Mike Shea at Alternative Press. They saw what was happening with Fall Out Boy and were like, 'We know it's early with you guys, but we want to give you a cover.' It was the biggest thing to happen to any of us. It really helped kick it to another level. It helped stoke the fires that were burning. This is back when bands like Green Day, Blink-182, and No Doubt still sold millions of records left and right. It was a leap of faith for AP to step out on Fall Out Boy the way they did.
STUMP: That was our first big cover. It was crazy. My parents flipped out. That wasn't a small zine. It was a magazine my mom could find in a bookstore and tell her friends. It was a shocking time. It's still like that. Once the surrealism starts, it never ends. I was onstage with Taylor Swift ten years later. That statement just sounds insane. It's fucking crazy. But when I was onstage, I just fell into it. I wasn't thinking about how crazy it was until afterward. It was the same thing with the AP cover. We were so busy that it was just another one of those things we were doing that day. When we left, I was like, 'Holy fuck! We're on the cover of a magazine! One that I read! I have a subscription to that!'
HURLEY: Getting an 'In The Studio' blurb was a big deal. I remember seeing bands 'in the studio' and thinking, Man, I would love to be in that and have people care that we're in the studio.' There were more minor things, but that was our first big cover.
STUMP: One thing I remember about the photo shoot is I was asked to take off my hat. I was forced to take it off and had been wearing that hat for a while. I never wanted to be the lead singer. I always hoped to be a second guitarist with a backup singer role. I lobbied to find someone else to be the proper singer. But here I was, being the lead singer, and I fucking hated it. When I was a drummer, I was always behind something. Somehow the hat thing started. Pete gave me a hat instead of throwing it away - I think it's the one I'm wearing on the cover of Take This To Your Grave. It became like my Linus blanket. I had my hat, and I could permanently hide. You couldn't see my eyes or much of me, and I was very comfortable that way. The AP cover shoot was the first time someone asked me to remove it. My mom has a poster of that cover in her house, and every time I see it, I see the fear on my face - just trying to maintain composure while filled with terror and insecurity. ‘Why is there a camera on me?'
JANICK: We pounded the pavement every week for two years. We believed early on that something great was going to happen. As we moved to 100,000 and 200,000 albums, there were points where everything was tipping. When they were on the cover of Alternative Press. When they did Warped for five days, and the stage collapsed. We went into Christmas with the band selling 2000 to 3000 a week and in the listening stations at Hot Topic. Fueled By Ramen had never had anything like that before.
MOSTOFI: Pete and I used to joke that if he weren't straight edge, he would have likely been sent to prison or worse at some point before Fall Out Boy. Pete has a predisposition to addictive behavior and chemical dependency. This is something we talked about a lot back in the day. Straight Edge helped him avoid some of the traps of adolescence.
WENTZ: I was straight edge at the time. I don't think our band would have been so successful without that. The bands we were touring with were partying like crazy. Straight Edge helped solidify the relationship between the four of us. We were playing for the love of music, not for partying or girls or stuff like that. We liked being little maniacs running around. Hurley and I were kind of the younger brothers of the hardcore kids we were in bands with. This was an attempt to get out of that shadow a little bit. Nobody is going to compare this band to Racetraitor. You know when you don't want to do exactly what your dad or older brother does? There was a little bit of that.
"Take This To Your Grave, And I'll Take It To Mine" - The Legacy of Take This To Your Grave, 2003-2023
Take This To Your Grave represents a time before the paparazzi followed Wentz to Starbucks, before marriages and children, Disney soundtracks, and all the highs and lows of an illustrious career. The album altered the course for everyone involved with its creation. Crush Music added Miley Cyrus, Green Day, and Weezer to their roster. Fueled By Ramen signed Twenty One Pilots, Paramore, A Day To Remember, and All Time Low.
STUMP: I'm so proud of Take This To Your Grave. I had no idea how much people were going to react to it. I didn't know Fall Out Boy was that good of a band. We were this shitty post-hardcore band that decided to do a bunch of pop-punk before I went to college, and Pete went back to opening for Hatebreed. That was the plan. Somehow this record happened. To explain to people now how beautiful and accidental that record was is difficult. It seems like it had to have been planned, but no, we were that shitty band that opened for 25 Ta Life.
HURLEY: We wanted to make a record as perfect as Saves The Day's Through Being Cool. A front-to-back perfect collection of songs. That was our obsession with Take This To Your Grave. We were just trying to make a record that could be compared in any way to that record. There's just something special about when the four of us came together.
WENTZ: It blows my mind when I hear people talking about Take This To Your Grave or see people including it on lists because it was just this tiny personal thing. It was very barebones. That was all we had, and we gave everything we had to it. Maybe that's how these big iconic bands feel about those records, too. Perhaps that's how James Hetfield feels when we talk about Kill 'Em All. That album was probably the last moment many people had of having us as their band that their little brother didn't know about. I have those feelings about certain bands, too. 'This band was mine. That was the last time I could talk about them at school without anyone knowing who the fuck I was talking about.' That was the case with Take This To Your Grave.
TROHMAN: Before Save Rock N' Roll, there was a rumor that we would come back with one new song and then do a Take This To Your Grave tenth-anniversary tour. But we weren't going to do what people thought we would do. We weren't going to [wear out] our old material by just returning from the hiatus with a Take This To Your Grave tour.
WENTZ: We've been asked why we haven't done a Take This To Your Grave tour. In some ways, it's more respectful not to do that. It would feel like we were taking advantage of where that record sits, what it means to people and us.
HURLEY: When Metallica released Death Magnetic, I loved the record, but I feel like Load and Reload were better in a way, because you knew that's what they wanted to do.
TROHMAN: Some people want us to make Grave again, but I'm not 17. It would be hard to do something like that without it being contrived. Were proud of those songs. We know that’s where we came from. We know the album is an important part of our history.
STUMP: There's always going to be a Take This To Your Grave purist fan who wants that forever: But no matter what we do, we cannot give you 2003. It'll never happen again. I know the feeling, because I've lived it with my favorite bands, too. But there's a whole other chunk of our fans who have grown with us and followed this journey we're on. We were this happy accident that somehow came together. It’s tempting to plagarize yourself. But it’s way more satisfying and exciting to surprise yourself.
MCILRITH: Fall Out Boy is an important band for so many reasons. I know people don't expect the singer of Rise Against to say that, but they really are. If nothing else, they created so much dialog and conversation within not just a scene but an international scene. They were smart. They got accused of being this kiddie pop punk band, but they did smart things with their success. I say that, especially as a guy who grew up playing in the same Chicago hardcore bands that would go on and confront be-ing a part of mainstream music. Mainstream music and the mainstream world are machines that can chew your band up if you don't have your head on straight when you get into it. It's a fast-moving river, and you need to know what direction you're going in before you get into it. If you don't and you hesitate, it'll take you for a ride. Knowing those guys, they went into it with a really good idea. That's something that the hardcore instilled in all of us. Knowing where you stand on those things, we cut our teeth on the hardcore scene, and it made us ready for anything that the world could throw at us, including the giant music industry.
#long post#lke. VERY long post#fall out boy#fob#take this to your grave#tttyg#patrick stump#pete wentz#joe trohman#andy hurley#if theres any typos lmk and i'll fix em this. hust took fucking forever to transcribe.
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Studio Sessions
18+ MINORS DNI
Modern!rockstar!Eddie x influencer!fem!reader
Series masterlist here
cw: voice recording during sex, reader gets insecure, studio times, fluff, flirting, pet names, oral (fem! receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, dirty talk, reader gets what she wants.
wc: 3.6k
a/n: this got away from me... I hope you all enjoy it! Feel free to send in requests for these two if you have them!! ALSO: this is the last post for them I'll have with a tag list... it's so much work and not that I dont love y'all ( I do) it's just hard. I hope y'all still love me and understand ❤️.
...
Is it normal to miss someone you just met?
Is it normal to go on a few dates, sleep over their house like every night and still miss them immensely when they're gone?
You and Eddie have spent every moment together since that first real date. Has he asked you to be his girlfriend yet? No. But you really don’t like to think too far into that one because then you’ll spiral, which is no good for anyone.
It didn’t matter too much. You knew it didn’t matter and you knew that he wasn’t fucking anyone else because he was either in your bed at night, or you were in his. I mean he could be fucking other people during the day, but you doubted it.
Back to the missing him part. It feels weird to miss someone who is a few feet in front of you, who you can literally see. But here you are, Eddie standing on the other side of some glass gathering things, and you miss him. You can’t help your thoughts from wandering back to if he feels the same way. But also, why would he? Men don’t act like that, right?
“Sweetheart, you ready?” Eddie's voice cuts through the fog of uncertainty.
You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. You were in the studio with Corroded Coffin, getting to watch their recording process. Eddie is right, there is something missing from a few of those songs, but you’re unsure if your voice is what is missing. You’re willing to try, though, still honored every agreed to this.
Eddie sets you up, putting headphones on you so you can hear the music. “Okay, sweet angel, don’t get too close to the mic because it can cause the sound to get a little weird. Got it?”
“I got it.” You grin up at him. He kisses you sweetly, your body growing hot.
He leaves, going to stand outside the booth with the rest of the band and his producer. He gives you a thumbs up, smile lighting up his face. He’s been more than excited that you agreed to do this.
You hear a count before the music starts, you quickly look down at the lyrics sheet in front of you. When you get the cue you start, turning on the most bedroom voice you can manage, eyes locking with Eddie’s as you speak. “Mine, be mine. Love me. Never let me go.”
You smirk at him as he squirms, his friends hitting his arm. You aren’t sure why it makes you happy to watch him squirm but it does. You let out a laugh, real and loud, instead of saying your next lines.
The producer perks up, cutting off the music, “oh my god, that was amazing! I need more of those.”
You feel your face get warm, a small and shy giggle leaving your chest. You don’t hear Eddie enter the room, but you can feel him. His energy calling to yours. You hum, not caring that they’re still recording you.
He pulls your headphones off, “great job, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, baby.” You lean in kissing his lips. It’s quick, just enough to get a taste of him. “This is a lot of fun. I like this!”
“You sounded very beautiful.”
You giggle, looking up at him grinning, “I was just talking.”
He kisses your forehead and whispers to you, “no. You were using that voice you use when you’re desperate for me to fuck you.”
You freeze, looking up at him. He’s looking at you with that sexy smirk on his face, making your stomach flip and clit pulse. God, he’s so hot when he’s doing absolutely nothing, dressed in black sweatpants and a sweatshirt, dressing comfortably for the long day in the studio. You could kiss him, right now.
No, scratch that, you could fuck him right now. You would if there weren’t six other people looking at you.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you whisper, winking up at him.
He kisses you quickly, leaving you wanting more as he pulls away. “Ready for the next one?”
…
You’ve been here for 8 hours.
Between adding little snippets of your voice, the band recording the rest of their songs, adding background vocals and putting in instruments, it takes a while. And you are tired. So tired in fact that during their last two songs, you fell asleep on the little couch in the studio.
You know this because you’re woken up by a soft voice and a hand brushing your hair out of your face.
“Sweet angel? Hey, baby.” You know it’s Eddie's voice based on the softness and sweetness he reserves only for you.
You stretch, groaning just a little as your joints crack, “m’sorry for falling asleep. Didn’t mean to.” Your voice sounds small and a little crocky with sleep. You cover your mouth as a small yawn slips out, “s’cuse me. I’m sorry.”
He laughs, kissing your free hand, “don’t apologize. We had a long night and early morning. Could’ve gone back to my place and slept?”
You shake your head, “mm-mm. Gotta be supportive. It sounds great and your fans will love it.”
His grins widens, lips meeting your knuckles. He looks tired too and you sort of regret keeping him up most of the night. Well, actually, it was a mutual thing. You’d tried getting him to go to bed but he just ‘couldn’t get enough’ and then when you tried again, while he was still inside you and growing soft, but the second he shifted, you were pushing him on his back and riding him. See, mutual.
“I’m glad you think it’s great, sweet girl. But you won’t upset me if you go home.”
Home. The word clangs through you and makes your head spin. It shouldn’t because he definitely didn’t mean anything behind it. It was his home so of course he’s called it just ‘home’ and you are for sure overthinking it.
You shake your head, both to clear it and to answer him, “no. I can wait. How much longer?”
“Like another fifteen minutes? I just need to listen to that last take and the boys need to add some background stuff. Then we can go.” His thumb is rubbing along your knuckles, his touch soft even if his hands are calloused.
“I’ll wait.”
And you do, this time staying awake. You post some instagram stories, making extra sure to mute it so you don’t spill a single note. Everyone loves the little insights to your time with Eddie, his fans enjoying seeing a different side to him. Of course, your parents still aren’t happy.
You haven’t spoken to them since that phone call. You don’t need their opinions and Eddie has yet to be a bad person when it came to you.
In fact, he’s good at planning dates and making sure no one follows. Blocking the paparazzi from getting unflattering photos of you. Sending you with security if needed. He cares. He cares more than anyone else ever has.
It feels nice to date someone who doesn’t see you as a ticket to their fifteen minutes of fame. Who didn’t look at you as a way to further their own career. Sure, Eddie was more famous than you were, something the press loves to point out. But in some way you were on the same level. It was more than refreshing.
“Ready?”
You look up at his brown eyes and nod, letting him take your hand to help you up, your coat already in his hands.
Once you both are ready to brave the slightly chilly weather, he takes your hand and leads you out. “There’s going to be people out here okay? Just so you're prepared.”
You grin, looking over at him, “I am prepared, Eddie. I know the cost of dat- um, being seen with you.”
If he catches your almost slip up, he doesn’t say anything. He just smirks, squeezing your hand as he opens the doors to the outside. Cameras flash and people scream, you’re practically blinded by the flashing bulbs. It doesn’t last long though, Eddie helping you into the car before getting in himself and closing the door, the sounds of screams muffled slightly.
“God, I love them but the screaming kills my ears,” he presses his finger to his ear, blocking it slightly before releasing it.
You giggle, raising a brow, “aren’t you used to it? You hardly wear your ears on stage.”
It was true. Eddie had this habit of taking out the ears he wears on stage, usually used to help keep beat as most artists can’t hear the music coming from the speakers.
He shrugs, “ya aren’t wrong but I feel like I’m far enough away that the sound doesn’t hurt that bad? I really should keep my ears in so I don’t like lose my hearin’ before I’m 32.”
“Should hear it from the crowd,” you tilt your head slightly. “I had to get little ear plugs after the first time I saw you guys live. My ears rang for a few days after and I was yelling cause I couldn’t hear.”
His eyes get wide, “that sounds awful. I should get ya some custom ears so you can hear what we’re doing on stage.”
That makes your heart flutter a little, the fact that he wants you to hear all they do. “I don’t think I could deal with the metronome ticking.”
He looks at you, “how do you know that happens?”
You playfully roll your eyes, scrolling through your phone till you find a post you liked a little bit ago. “This. It’s a video of what Taylor Swift’s sound like inside. It was very interesting.”
He watches it, three times actually. And then he giggles and scrolls, some familiar music starts to play and you already know what he’s looking at. Your face flames as you move to take your phone back. Unfortunately, he’s faster, moving so you can’t grab it from where you sit.
He scrolls again, “you like these edits of me?” His tone is teasing and you feel like you’re going to die. He was never supposed to know you like thrist traps of him, most of them to his own songs.
“E-Eddie give it back,” you plead with him.
But he shakes his head, scrolling again and again and again. “These edits are actually really good. M’impressed. I also think it’s cute you like them.”
You finally reach your phone, tugging it from his hands, “it’s rude to go through someone's phone, Eddie.”
He fake pouts, “awww, are you embarrassed baby?”
You don’t say anything as he coos at you because you are embarrassed that he saw those. But fuck, he looked so fucking hot in those edits. They make you feel things deep inside you, things you’ve used your vibrator to take care of.
He leans forward, his hand reaching out and cupping your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed, baby. I think it’s kind of hot you have those liked.”
He pulls you closer, his lips meeting yours in a sweet, soft kiss. That feeling comes back, the one with a voice that questions why he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. It’s been some time and you spend a lot of it together. You don’t want to push him, to make him look at you as needy or too much or annoying. That’s the last thing you want. You’ve heard it enough, from boyfriends, from your parents, from the people in your comment section. And the last thing you wanted was to hear it from Eddie.
He breaks the kiss, his eyes scanning your face. Fuck he knows.
“Are you okay?” He asks you with worry in his eyes. It kind of makes your chest hurt to worry him.
“Oh yeah! I’m fine. Just… tired.”
But, of course, he sees right through it, “no. You’re in your head. Come on… spill it.”
You can’t. You want to express to him how you feel, to ask him to not waste your time. If he isn’t interested in you then you need him to tell you that so you can move on. But you know he is interested, you just sat and recorded bits for their album for fucks sake! He calls you sweet names and listens to what you have to say. He fucks you in a way you’ve never been before. He’s in tune to you and your needs, so the idea he doesn’t want you is absurd.
But… “nothing. I just have that photo shoot coming up and I’m just nervous. It could make or break my career.”
Half truth. You were nervous about the campaign. It could make or break your career if you didn’t do a good job or if people didn’t like it.
He looks like he doesn’t believe you but he doesn’t push you further. You wish he would.
…
Eddie’s lips kiss along your chest, nipping a sucking sweet marks into the skin there. Marking you. Owning you. His hand moving up to tease your breast while his mouth sucks on the neglected one.
His phone is set up beside you, the little red dot indicating he’s recording. It definitely catches the gasp you make as he works your chest, but he just feels so good you don’t think about it.
He asked you six times before hitting record if you were okay with this, him voice recording. And you were, truly. He wanted your moans for his music but wanted some variety in there. So, he’s recording the entire round of sex. You’d be a dirty little liar if you said it didn’t turn you on. The idea that he’ll have this on his phone and in his music. Your moans immortalized on tape? It was hot as fuck.
Eddie swaps sides, eyes meeting yours as he licks and sucks and bites. It hits you right at your center. He was hot as fuck, actually. Looking slightly feral as he kisses down your body. You can’t take your eyes off of his when he settles between your legs, putting them over his shoulders to give him more room.
“God you’re so wet for me, sweetheart,” he runs a finger through your slick, making you moan. “So pretty. Was so hot watchin’ you today.”
“But I-” he licks up your slit, cutting you off what you were about to say.
He sucks on your clit, making your back arch. It was insane to you how well he knew your body. He’s learned every dip, every curve of your skin. He’s learned exactly how to drag deep moans from you with his mouth, tongue and cock. Memorized them. He did it quickly too.
“B-but I didn’t really do anything.” He slips two fingers inside you, stretching you out. “God! Fuck that feels good.”
He doesn’t say anything, just laughs and curls his fingers. Eddie knows exactly what he’s doing, turning your brain off with every thrust of his fingers.
“J-just like that, baby! Oh god, don’t stop.” You can feel the orgasm building deep in your belly, your whole body growing hot as you squeeze his fingers. “M-more. Eddie, I need more.”
He adds a finger, the burn from the stretch feeling incredible. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh my god.” You don’t even know what you’re saying, just a babbling mess. This was typical when it came to the way Eddie worked your body. He’s the only one who’s worked you like this.
Your orgasm hits you, mouth dropping open as your back arches on the bed, “Fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck!”
You ride it out with Eddie’s help, his fingers slowing and his mouth coming off your clit with a soft pop. And when he finally removes his fingers, sucking them between his lips and moaning, you feel empty. You need him to fuck you, to feel him inside you.
“Taste so fuckin’ sweet, baby. Just can’t get enough,” his voice drops a few octaves and you swear your heart stutters for a moment.
“Please…” you whine.
It hits you then that he is fully clothed and you are as naked as the day you were born. The dynamic is hotter than it should be, you might need to talk to your therapist about that. Or not. That’s an issue for another day.
He pulls off his shirt, stomach flexing with the movement, “please what, angel?”
His hands pull at his belt, tugging it through the loops before meeting the same fate as his shirt on the floor. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth and you forget the English language for a moment. He pops the button on his jeans, sliding the zipper down as he waits for your answer.
You manage to find it, “please fuck me. I-I need it.”
He slides his jeans and boxers down his legs, his hard cock bobbing free. You squirm, licking your lips while your eyes rake over him. You need him, need him in many more ways than just sexually. You need him as yours, need him to love you. You can see the life you’d have if he called you his. Your babies would be beautiful thats for fucking sure.
You don’t really have time to think further on it because Eddie slides inside you, his lips meeting yours and swallowing your moans. He tastes like you, cigarettes and weed. An odd mix but you love it anyway.
“Shit, pretty girl. This pussy feels amazing. S’like you were fuckin’ made for me.”
Your heart pounds and you know he can feel it, you can feel his. “I-I was. I was m-made for you, Eddie. Made for you” You kind of don’t mean for it to come out, but it can easily be brushed off as heat of the moment dirty talk.
But there is something in the way he’s fucking you right now, something different. It’s slower than it has been, sweeter. Like he wants to take his time here, like he wants to feel every inch of you. His eyes shine with lust and something else, something he blinks away before you can decipher it. You have a feeling you already know what it is, because you feel the same way.
“Yeah? You think so?” He lets you wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close. “Think we were supposed to end up here?”
You’re going to die if he keeps talking like this. He’s actually going to kill you. More so because you do believe in the invisible string theory. Everyone can say you’re going too fast, but you think your string is attached to him. Everything about him screams it in confirmation.
“Y-yes. I do.”
He kisses you soft and sweet, adjusting slightly to hit that sweet spot inside you. You gasp into his mouth, hands coming up to his cheeks to hold him there while you kiss him. Again, it’s all slow and sweet and filled with emotion.
“Glad we’re on the same page, baby.”
He fucks you just a little faster, hitting all your sweet spots and making the coil in your belly twist tighter. “I- oh my god, Eddie.”
He laughs, not straying from your lips, “I love when you pray to me.”
Your orgasm takes you by surprise, a deep moan falling from your lips as your velvet walls squeeze him. It makes your head spin and you kind of feel like you’re going to pass out from how good it feels. You don’t, of course.
“That’s it, baby. Such a good girl coming for me. My pretty angel.”
“Y-yours.”
He nods, “mine.”
Mine
Mine
Mine
Mine
The word cycles through your head over and over, making you clench harder around him.
“Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. Fuck fuck FUCK!”
He spills inside you as he moans your name. It’s angelic when he does it and you’re gonna make him send the recording to you immediately so you can hear it again and again. He collapses on you, being careful to not crush you with his weight.
“I s-swear on my life, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”
You giggle, shaking your head, “i bet you say that to every girl you fuck.”
He lifts his head, his face serious, “no. I don’t. You’re the first person I’ve ever said that to.”
You just stare at him, not knowing what to say.
“Did you mean what you said? About us being made for each other?” He asks it quietly, like he’s afraid of anyone hearing him. Anyone but you.
You swallow the lump in your throat. You can do this, tell him how you feel. Right? “I-I did. We fit together so well. Don't ya think?”
Now it’s his turn to swallow, “I do… I meant it too.”
You aren’t sure where this is going, but you hope to whoever the fuck is listening that it’ll go your way.
“You did? You haven’t known me that long.”
He shrugs, “so? You spend every night here, or me at your place. You get to know someone pretty quickly that way.” He laughs a little, pushing some of your hair out of your face.
Ask me
Ask me
Ask me
“I would agree,” you say as you run your fingertips up his arm.
“Would you agree to stay forever if I asked you to?”
You hold your breath and nod. He gives you a look that makes you squeak out a small “yes.”
A huge grin breaks out across his face, bright white teeth showing, “then stay. With me and be mine. And I’ll be yours. No more wandering around lookin’ for each other.”
You blink away the burn behind your eyes, you cannot cry at someone asking you to date them, “n-no more wandering.”
#stranger things#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#stranger things fic#eddie munson#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x female reader#rockstar!eddie x reader#rockstar!eddie munson#rockstar!eddie x fem!reader#modern!rockerstar!eddie munson x influencer!fem!reader
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Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.
Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)
Demolition Lovers
Written By: Matt Pelissier, Mikey Way, Ray Toro & Gerard Way
Artist: My Chemical Romance
Released: 2002
The Demolition Lovers are the couple seen on the cover for MCR’s next album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. This song, along with much of the album, is a prequel to the story of Three Cheers… in which a man makes a deal with the devil to get his dead lover back by killing 1,000 evil men and giving the devil their souls in exchange for her. This song is most likely where the lover dies. The two “Demolition Lovers” are featured on the cover of the album.
[Verse 1]
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you, "We could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition, too"
I'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets
[Chorus]
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things
We put each other through and
[Verse 2]
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running
[Chorus]
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade and nights grow
And we grow cold
[Post-Chorus]
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this, until the end of
[Chorus]
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade and nights grow
And we grow cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every…
[Interlude]
All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this
All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this
All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this
All we are, all we are is bullets, I mean this
[Guitar Solo]
[Bridge]
As lead rains will pass on through
Our phantoms forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame
We're burning forever and ever
Know how much I want to show you
You're the only one
Like a bed of roses
There's a dozen reasons in this gun
[Outro]
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!
youtube
I Will Follow You into the Dark
Written By: Benjamin Gibbard
Artist: Death Cab for Cutie
Released: 2006
Even on a concept album whose main theme is death, “I’ll Follow You Into The Dark” is a standout moving song about the transcendental power of love, even when that boundary is death. This song was recorded unexpectedly while the band was having technical difficulties in studio. Chris Walla, Death Cab for Cutie’s lead guitarist and producer, said the following. “We were going to track the vocal for another song and there was something screwy happening with the headphone mix. We were having problems, so I said, “Ben, this is gonna be a few minutes. Take a break.” Ben’s version of taking a break while we addressed the headphone problem was to pick up this Stella guitar that he loves and start playing this song we were planning on recording sometime later during the sessions. He was still coming through the vocal mic as he was playing this, and it was sounding really cool to me, so I went up and said, “Let’s track this real quick,” and we did and that’s what’s on the record. It was a mono recording with no effects. Nothing. I added a little compression and de-essed it a bit. It’s really weird. It’s totally there and it’s happening.”
[Verse 1]
Love of mine, someday you will die
But I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark
[Chorus]
If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
[Verse 2]
In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me, "Son
Fear is the heart of love," so I never went back
[Chorus]
If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
[Verse 3]
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary and the soles of your shoes
Are all worn down, the time for sleep is now
But it's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
[Chorus]
And if Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
And illuminate the "no"s on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
[Outro]
Then I'll follow you into the dark
youtube
#demolition lovers#my chemical romance#i will follow you into the dark#death cab for cutie#polls#poll tournament#poll bracket#tournament#bracket#lovesongbracket#round3
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After reading your view on John's treatment of Paul, I have to ask if you also have thougts on what happend between George and Paul during and after post Beatles. We know how they both treated him as the younger brother and how he tought they were to busy being John and Paul so they failed to see him though other artist saw him etc. We can also understand how he back away from John and Yoko. But what was his problems with Paul? Paul played on more George-Beatle songs than John did and George even played on John's solo record but said he would never play in a band with Paul again. Because there still seem to that he had another issue with Paul and there still seem to be tensions between them during the Anthology. Did Paul really deserved to be treated like that by both John and George. George went on a lot about his faith and spiritual seaching but not really lived up to it all the time. He played a lot about how unhappy he was in the Beatles and being famous buthe lived large with his cars and big house etc. I'm not defending Paul, well I do, but they both treated him so badly. Why, do you have any more ideas about that. Or what other artists, like ex Wings members etc who also complained about Paul's ways. I only ever see it as jealousy.
Legit had no idea how to answer this as George's dynamic with the rest of the band is opaque to me. I put the question to the McLennon server and they provided some very good answers, they have given me permission to copypaste it all here. I hope this helps Anon.
Note: I let the others talk and then I used Discord's "reply" function liberally to @ the different paragraphs. For tumblr I have rearranged the posts so that they read in order as full conversations instead of the weird mishmash that Discord produces. When you see weird timestamps, that is why.
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Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 11:00 AM
received an interesting ask from an anon, its very long so i'm just copy pasting
ask
What do we think of this?
my take is basically that George resented Paul because he replaced George with John and their relationship never recovered, which snowballed into these bigger issues about George's contributions to the Beatles and his growth as an artist.
I think it was amoralto who pointed out that Paul was safer for George to attack because Paul would forgive him whereas with John that wasn't the case. and yet George was able to cut John off later so what gives?
LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:43 PM
I think there's a lot to this dynamic that we're not privvy too.
What we do know, however, are things like how during the white album sessions, Paul was constantly undermining George's suggestions. I think it was George Martin who said that. We can even see it a bit in Get Back.
On top of that, even to this day, Paul calls George his little brother in interviews. He has always viewed George as the little kid of the group and that would feel incredibly patronising and demoralising.
Paul is a lot more wired that John, and I think that personality trait is just something that George stuggles with. John is the 'cool/fun parent'.
I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.
John = The deadbeat Disney dad.
Paul = The more serious and caring/overbearing parent
You can see how he would grow to resent Paul more. And I think he also blamed Paul for the breakup too. Or at least, how messy all of that was and all the horrible legal issues that came with it
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:06 PM
this one hurts. oof. when I read about the break up in excerpts I get the feeling that George thought Paul's problem was the money and the business decisions and he didn't consider (or didn't want to consider) what was driving it emotionally….after all he felt like Paul didn't consider his feelings 😬
LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:52 PM
Anthology is interesting though. I really think George's attitude in that it partly because he needed to do it. He needed the money. I don't think he really wanted to do it. It was Paul's baby, and he also resented him for that. Hated Paul for being more comfortable financially too.
Paul didn't need to do anthology. George did.
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 1:53 PM
genius, you're absolutely right
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:08 PM
this was also around the time that Paul's sweet new deal with Capitol became a thing, i think, because Capitol offered like a significant profit increase for Paul on Beatles royalties if he signed his next few solo albums with them. That caused a lot of upset with George and Ringo iirc, so damn :(
LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:55 PM
(Also, Paul in a few interviews, has said that he was on good terms with John when he died - UNLIKE George. Almost rubbing it in George's face. I know he doesn't mean it. But I would be incredibly upset by that in George's position. To be constantly reminded of that.)
I think its funny that Paul is viewed as the PR savvy Beatles cause he puts his foot in his mouth all the time haha
That actually might be why he's more reserved in interviews now. Sticking to a script… Who knows!
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:19 PM
Ha, god, probably. Paul has his moments, there's a good 80s interview where he bemoaned Frank Sinatra attributing a George song to maccalennon, but he doesn't seem to have been humbled until the Heather Mills circus.
vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 1:57 PM
In one of the AKOM podcasts they mentioned a George quote about how he was the closest beatle to John back when it was only them 2 taking LSD… it's my personal theory than in those months he almost felt like he was finally taking over Paul's spot in John's life…I dunno, I get very competitive vibes from George. In his mind he was competing for John with Paul. At least in certain points. And I think John took advantage of that.
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:20 PM
Absolutely. Reminds me of, ha, Paul when he said that John was their personal Elvis. They all wanted his attention and approval.
I also wonder if George was seeking a mentor somewhere and if he thought John was it since they dropped together.
vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:01 PM
It's very complex, the Paul-George dynamic
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:02 PM
Paul is the one who's always looking for a "project" and can't turn off, being with him must have been exhausting and then you add being talked down to all the time. whereas John can be fun and turn himself off and then maybe the sting of being talked down to isn't so bad. And like we saw in Get Back when John said "we need George Harrison" because he realized George was looking for reassurance, so he could also build George up when he felt like he should.
I guess with John its more like "lots of fun with a few pointed barbs thrown in" whereas with Paul he's steamrollering you constantly and will only occasionally throw in a compliment.
maybe since Paul is more consistent, it meant more to earn his respect? or something like that, like Vanessa pointed out George was competitive for John's approval and attention.
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:12 PM
there's this consistent theme with George and Paul where Paul's closeness with John seems to really hurt and damage George. And its not like he could let it go easily either because Paul was also his teammate, not just John's. It was a quad act, not a double.
I think George said that being outside Lennon/Mccartney meant observing Beatlemania as a fan instead of as a bandmate. So he's getting all the trouble but very few of the benefits. And then there's the royalty issues on top of that.
Like, Paul was George's friend first, but then Paul pulped that friendship pretty much immediately when he saw John and never felt like he should do anything to fix it. And then George gets pulled into Beatlemania and then there's money problems and then Brian died.
Brian was George's big advocate I noticed, setting up a newspaper column in George's name (ghostwritten by someone else) because he wanted George to be his own brand outside the Beatles and maccalennon, so when he died a lot of that probably went down the drain too.
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:23 PM
George seems to have been very lonely in the Beatles but due to all this:
I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.
I guess it was easier to shift some blame onto Paul.
A lot of George's spiritual journey appears to be about wanting to escape like when he sings about wanting to see God but being frustrated at how long it will take him. Its real but it also seems like he was pretty weary of life by his mid20s.
LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 2:40 PM
Yeah, you're so right. John was also the other Beatle who was more spiritually inclined. He was the only one besides George who was fully committed to the India trip. (At least for a time.) This was probably something they bonded over too.
There's also that quote… I can't remember what interview it's from. But George was asked what it was like being a Beatle and he says he doesn't really know. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in on Lennon/McCartney. It must've felt like a very lonely place.
vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:40 PM
I'm fascinated by J&P but I give George a lot of credit for putting up with them both for so long. I would've cut them out of my life so fast 😂
Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 4:05 PM
honestly they ruined George's life in some ways!
#mclennon server#beatles meta#my meta#john lennon#paul mccartney#george harrison#the beatles#talktalktalk
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Happy belated 80th birthday to my favourite guitar player. <3
A sequel to this post.
George Harrison: You need Eric Clapton.
John Lennon: No, you need George Harrison.
"He showed me a lot of things on the guitar. George was a really great guitar player. He just didn't think he was. He told me that he almost quit one time because he couldn't play as well as Eric. He said that Eric just had this feel and touch. George really wanted to play like that and told me so, many times. But who wouldn't?" - Bobby Whitlock (Derek and the Dominoes)
“[George is] a great guitar player. When he strikes up on the slide there’s nobody better; his precision, his vibrato is perfect. But he always plays it down.” - Jeff Lynne (ELO, Traveling Wilburys)
"I had heard George's playing on the records, but I hadn't seen him play before I saw A Hard Day's Night. I picked up some tips from him, like playing the G-string up and down the neck for lead guitar because it gave more punch to the lead line. And of course he played the Rickenbacker 12-string and that was a big influence on me, but I even liked to watch his Gretsch playing. He did a lot of barre chords -- John and George used barre chords almost exclusively, whereas coming from the folk tradition I used lots of open chords. With The Searchers and The Seekers, you could hear some of that 12-string out there, but primarily it was The Beatles. I know George influenced us a lot." - Roger McGuinn (The Byrds)
“The innovations in guitar technology he brought to The Beatles were just amazing. He defined what we now know as this classic Rickenbacker 12-string sound. He laid the groundwork for me. And it’s utterly definitive. Nobody had used that volume-pedal technique before ‘I Need You’ […] But you can’t beat ‘Ticket To Ride’. It’s futuristic guitar, even before Hendrix came on the scene. It still sounds like a modern guitar part now." - Johnny Marr (The Smiths)
"I met George during the session Cream did for Badge, and I was very impressed with his playing [under the pseudonym L’Angelo Mysterioso]. I took it for granted that people like McCartney and Lennon were brilliant but didn’t really analyse it. But when you actually play with George you could see what an amazing guitar player he was, doing things that I hadn’t even thought of." - Jack Bruce (Cream)
"Me personally, I worshipped guitar players like George Harrison, who was this melodic part of the Beatles sound and he seemed like he served the song more than his own ego of how many notes per second he could play. I really appreciated that." - Vicki Peterson (The Bangles)
"I love George Harrison so much because [of] the way he would construct a little kind of solo within the song which would be part of the song. So from him I learned about melody […] George Harrison would create a little masterpiece in 8 bars in the middle of Hard Day's Night for example. It's a perfect example of that where he would do something that no other guitarist in the world would think of. He'd put this little lick in. It would have some little fast bits in it, and it would be so outside what you'd imagine the solo of that song to be. Later on I got to know George very well. We became very good friends at one time, and he could do things that no one else could do, and his slide playing was amazing because he used to have very strong Eastern influences from his days with Ravi Shankar and doing the meditation and everything. Just to be around someone like that you learn so much. He really was a giant in the music world for me, very sadly missed." - Gary Moore
"George’s guitar playing was just perfect. In those days we didn’t jam and get to the middle of a song and just play any old thing (laughs); we would have rehearsals and you’d kind of figure out what the part would be so from then on, when you played that song, that was the solo. He was that sort of guitar player and I learned that and I really liked that ‘cause that’s what I was thinking most of the time." - John Fogerty (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
"To see George Harrison there [on the Ed Sullivan Show], standing off to the side, looking down at his guitar while he played his licks -- to my impressionable mind it defined what a lead guitarist was. I knew right then what I wanted to do with my life: I wanted to be like the guy in the middle -- the guy looking down at his guitar and playing all the little fills and solos. Harrison taught me about short solos and hooks, and what a hook is. All those mid-Sixties Beatles tracks -- whether it was 'Day Tripper' or 'Ticket to Ride' or whatever -- they all start with a guitar lick that you wait to come around again in the chorus. That’s where I learned to do that." - Elliot Easton (The Cars)
“His chords were sometimes more a cluster of notes that, to my ears, are beautifully dissonant. The turnaround lick over the last chord in the chorus of the Beatles’ ‘Help’ functions on many levels. It’s such an innovative use of the open G and B strings ringing out, while a minor 3rd shape chromatically descends below it.” - Brian Bell (Weezer)
"I modeled myself after George Harrison a lot in the early days; solos you could sing along with. To this day, that's my approach, and I teach it as a guide at IMA's Rock 'n Roll Girl's Camps." - June Millington (Fanny)
“George was responsible for perhaps the most romantic guitar solo of all time when he recorded Something. It’s arguably among the most gorgeous and expressive solos in any song.” - Nancy Wilson (Heart)
“The solo [from the album version of Let It Be] -- the way his lick comes in after the keyboard breakdown strikes the perfect emotion and uplift for the track. I’ve ripped it off a million times, and will probably rip it off a million more before I’m through. The tone is perfectly gritty but without a safety net and mixed way on top of the tune, warts and all. Love it.” - Chris Shiflett (Foo Fighters)
"I was into Harrison. He's an amazing guitar player. Songwriter too." - Jim Root (Slipknot)
“I feel like the music world mostly thinks of George Harrison as the phenomenal songwriter that he was, but I think he’s really underrated as a tone innovator. I remember reading a GW article [January 2014] about I’m Only Sleeping and how George got this crazy tone by writing the solo, learning it backward and then recording it with the tape running back to front, resulting in the initial solo he had written with this insane, surreal effect. It’s so interesting to think about what that process would have been like, getting those tones in a completely analog studio setting.” - Nita Strauss
“As a guitarist, I've always loved George Harrison. I've never been a fan of the rock'n'roll style, or the solos, etc. I like simple things. When Harrison does a solo, it doesn't sound like a solo, it's just his part, it's never a show of virtuosity. I don't like sham.” - Alex Scally (Beach House)
“The mix [in Savoy Truffle] is all about a trip to the dentist’s office. The guitar tone -- most likely run through a fuzz pedal -- sounds like a drill. The bending, stabbing notes during the lyrics, ‘But you’ll have to get them all pulled out’ really gets the image of a dentist’s drill across vividly. I borrowed those bending, stabbing notes from him and have no intention of returning them anytime soon. The phrasing is total Harrison -- even with the fuzz, you can tell it’s him. He does have that ‘George Harrison sound’ as well, but to identify a guitar player with phrasing is rare.” - Joey Santiago (Pixies)
“Till There Was You shows George’s vast range of playing in 1963. He has lovely phrasing, uses diminished notes –- and there’s a fantastic use of the Gretsch tremolo arm before a fabulous run into the middle eight. [GW Editor’s note: Although he used a nylon-string guitar on the studio recording, Harrison often performed the song with an electric guitar.] To my young ears, this was masterful guitar playing." - Bernie Marsden (Whitesnake)
“No one changed the face of guitar more than George, in my opinion.” - Steve Lukather (Toto)
“He gives [Dig a Pony] space where it’s needed and doesn’t clutter the sound or detract from the lead vocal. This is definitely something we could all learn from him. His choice of notes adds a sense of melancholy to the song, lifting it above what could otherwise have been a bit of a throw-away number. Lennon would later refer to the song as ‘garbage,’ but for me, Harrison’s class makes it an underrated gem. Watching the footage, we get an insight into George’s excellent technique throughout the song; expertly switching between flat-picking, hybrid picking and straight finger picking to accent the lead lines and add texture to his parts. There’s a great shot where you can see him with his pick palmed while playing with his fingers, followed by a quick adjustment of the volume and tone controls, before swiftly returning the pick for some flatpicking. It’s skillfully done and impressive to watch.” - Kevin Starrs (Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats)
“I mean he was one of the first guys to really play melodic slide because most guys that play, they want to play blues, you know? Which is great, but George from My Sweet Lord on, he would play really melodic. I love the way he played, and he was really kind to me. He was very supportive, and he told me several times that he liked the way I played slide too, so I’m greatly indebted to George.” - Mike Campbell (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers)
'My impression of George when I first met him was that he wasn’t really extremely confident, didn’t understand what all the fuss was about and felt like maybe people were mistaking him, or making a mistake, or seeing something that wasn’t there. That was the feeling I got from him. Everyone was into hot licks, but he didn’t have any. So I feel he didn’t have a glimpse of how really wonderful a musician he was…He was very conscious that he couldn’t read music and that he couldn’t play searing solos off the top of his head. What he could do was worth more to me. He was a beautiful musician, extremely musical. The 'Moonlight Sonata' is a very simple thing to play on the piano, but it’s beautiful. And beauty is not about technique." - David Bromberg
#george harrison#john lennon#the beatles#jeff lynne#roger mcguinn#quote compilation#my gifs#george 80#bobby whitlock#johnny marr#jack bruce#vicki peterson#gary moore#john fogerty#elliot easton#brian bell#june millington#nancy wilson#chris shiflett#jim root#nita strauss#alex scally#joey santiago#bernie marsden#steve lukather#kevin starrs#mike campbell#david bromberg#feel like this is self-indulgent but it's a special occasion so :p
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Love of My Life
LOML closes out Harry's House, it's a sad song about realising someone is the love of his life after he had lost them. Harry has spoken about an albums start and end, Harry's House starts with Sushi, imploring his muse to let love in and asking himself if just a taste of love is enough. LOML is about loss of that person and realisation that they were the love of his life. To Zane Lowe Harry said:
"Love of my life, I’ve always wanted to write a song about like home and loving England and all that kind of stuff. And it’s always kinda hard to do without being like ‘went to the chippy and I did this thing’ and to me Love of My Life was the most terrifying song for a long time because it is so bare, it's so sparse." He went on to say: "And in the spirit of what Harry's House is about, I think it started as an idea that was very literal, on the nose, [...] As I started making the album it wasn't about the geographical location it was much more of an internal thing."
So, what he said was that it is about his home and England is a metaphor. Home is common theme in Harry's work, most notably in Sweet Creature but even in 1D it has meant more than a place to him. The notebook also has a quote 'your mother is my home'. Taylor has also used home or homeland to refer to Harry, WomanExile has a great post on their usage of home as a metaphor for each other.
The Lyric Video has roses, which Harry and Taylor Swift also use to refer to each other:
Since 1989, all rose and thorn lyrics are about Harry
Harry 's rose Tattoo is from 11 September 2013, when they started dating again after the VMAs.
Roses have been in videos, outfits, social media posts about each other, a list is here.
Timeline
In the NY ONO show Harry said he wrote it in Rob Stringers' (Sony CEO) house and that the phone ringing in it is his. As it Was was recorded in the same session, and in part, has a similar meaning. This places it in the first half of 2021. After the rest of the album, California. Also after Folk/evermore which are about communicating and endings respectively. Harry had seen Taylor in March at the 2021 Grammy's. At the time it was written Taylor was still dating Joe. Harry had been dating Olivia for a few months.
California in particular refers to 'summers death left to breathe' indicating that there may have been an ending of sorts in 2020 before he returned to England and drove to Italy over the time Folklore was released.
Though not lyrically addressed, to me LOML is a 'yes' to Question..?'s "Did you realize out of time, she was on your mind?" Question was written in the same time period, after the Grammy's interaction but was released 6 months later.
Tracklisting, release and length
Love of My Life is Harry's only track 13, Taylor's number. It was released on her birthday. It is 3:12 long, or March, 31 2012 - the date they met.
Live shows
Harry said to Zane Lowe he thought he would close the show with it. And he did up until March 25 2023 when it was replaced by Fine Line in the last leg. Later that same week Taylor Swift replaced Invisible String with The 1 and announced her split from Joe Alwyn. It only returned for the 3 Wembley shows.
It was missing for 30 shows and is one of the least played Harry’s House songs, only above Boyfriends and Grapejuice which was added for the last leg.
Lyrics
Baby, you were the love of my life, woah
Maybe you don't know what's lost 'til you find it
The first verse is a turn on the phrase “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” he reconnected with his love and found she is the 1 but it is past tense, he still lost her. This is similar to the Clean secret message, which also appeared in the OOTW video “She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything.” And the cyclical nature of this relationship.
Take a walk on Sunday through the afternoon
We can always find somethin' for us to do
We don't really like what's on the news, but it's on all the time
The second verse to me is remembering good times with this person, when he felt at home, with shared experiences and comfort.
I take you with me every time I go away
In a hotel, usin' someone else's name
I remember back at Jonny's place, it's not the same anymore
To me, I take you with me everytime I go away refers to what Harry said about an internal feeling, no matter where he is in the world his love is ever-present even when they are not.
In the Dublin show on the 22nd June 2023 Harry confirmed this refers to his childhood friend is Jonathan Harvey. This speaks to Harry’s concept of home as the feeling that you are loved and belong. To me this reference is to when Harry took Taylor on a tour of his home in England, to the lakes, where he grew up and she may have met Jonny in 2012. She said that was her best birthday, sharing his home with her was important to him. To me, this line means their relationship is different now to it was then. As it was is also similar with with an external view of how others would see them and their place in life.
It's unfortunate, ooh
Just coordinates, ooh
It’s unfortunate, just coordinates sounds to me like he’s reflecting on how they got from the Lakes trip to their current state. This applies to his feelings about love and home. The impact touring has had on his life, what is home and his relationships.
I don't know you half as well as all my friends
I won't pretend that I've been doin' everything I can
To get to know your creases and your ends
Are they the same?
Knowing his love is a theme, in Sunflower Harry sang “Let me inside, I wanna get to know you” and in Fine Line “Spreading you open Is the only way of knowing you” to explore the idea of intimacy co-existing with distance with the same person.
He also sings about not knowing his love in Trouble “And I don’t even know you / But I feel like I do sometimes”. Interestingly in If I could fly he feels like she knows him “Now you know me / for you eyes only”.
The “are they the same” speaks to once knowing all the creases and ends but not now. “Super Pretty” has a similar theme of distant intimacy and vulnerability “do you still feel the same about me”.
Baby, you were the love of my life, woah
Maybe you don't know what's lost 'til you find it
It's not what I wanted, to leave you behind
Don't know where you'll land when you fly
But, baby, you were the love of my life
The final chorus adds “don’t know where you’ll land when you fly” which confirms he is singing to a person not a country. Specifically a person with a private jet who can fly without the destination known. For that person every mystery take off is relentlessly tracked by an instagram account. How alienating it must be to someone who loves and wants her to see that and not know.
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ok what am I supposed to do now the one for the money, two for the show is done!!!?! I would love more lord while I go back a reread everything from the beginning!
If you’re taking requests maybe quick snapshots of the year apart? Not to get too personal but I have a crush and I’ve been stalking their social media but like in a chill way (or I’m trying to) I imagine reader and Joel both seeing each others accomplishments or posts or being tagged in things and just being happy for each other but also….the longing
A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be
Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader
Author's note: this is so angsty i'm sorry
Summary: This ask
Warnings: angst, yearning, oh it's so sad
Joel Miller's New Album Set to Break Records
Everything We Know About Joel Miller's New Album Glass House
Glass House Expected to Go Platinum Before Next Month
What Songs on Joel Miller's New Album Are About Famous Actress Ex?
You almost text Joel about the headlines and theories flooding your timeline. Almost. You actually started typing out a message before reading the last message you sent him almost four months ago and quickly deleting it. You're happy for him. You really are. In the pictures from his album release party, he looked insanely happy, posing with Ellie and Sarah and hugging his musician friends in celebration. He even played one of his newest songs, "Love-in-idleness," at the party with only his acoustic guitar and that deep voice of his. You think you would know it's about you even if he didn't tell you about it before you left. Love-in-idleness is the flower used in A Midsummer Night's Dream to make a love potion to unite the couples. It's common knowledge, but Joel might be one of the only people in the world who knows how much that play means to you. The song quickly becomes one of your favorites, but you don't tell him.
You scroll through his social media unashamedly. Dave Grohl and half the world congratulates him on his album release. He's making the music he's always wanted to make. Sarah told you she got into UCLA, and Ellie is drawing again. He's happy. They all are. So, why do you feel so shitty? Neither of you has deleted the pictures of each other from your profiles. It feels like a staring contest, seeing who will hold the torch of your relationship longer. It doesn't help that people are screenshotting the pictures of you together to "add context" to Joel's lyrics. The one that makes you break down is a quick snapshot someone took of you leaning on him in Central Park when you were watching the guitarist with lyrics from "The Yellow Subway."
She knows more than me. You better believe
That city couldn't hold her right, but then
I couldn't either.
Despite the heartbreaking lyrics, you two look comfortable together— your head on his shoulder and his hand in yours. You cry in between scenes, ruining your makeup and having a mini-therapy session with your makeup artist, Saoirse, as a result. You don't post anything about his new album, but you put on a happy face and post snapshots from your time spent in Ireland thus far. Pitchers of Guinness, the Cliffs of Moher, stunningly green mornings, and a picture of you and the film crew hiding out in a tent while the rain comes down around you. Joel likes the photos but makes no other move to communicate with you.
You wonder if he's torturing himself in the same way you are. You wonder if he's waiting for a headline about you dating someone new like you are for him. You wonder if he's hurting the way you are. Selfishly, you hope he is because that means he still thinks of you. You also want him to hurt because he hurt you. You still love him, but you can't be the woman who crawls back to someone who can't trust her with things, like telling her the mother of his child is back in town.
This is what's best. It's what needs to happen. You need to be here, working, and he needs to be there, being a dad and making music. It doesn't make it any easier or soothe the ache in your heart, but it's necessary. It's for your own good. Right?
Right?
#one for the money two for the show#rockstar!joel x actress!reader#rockstar!joel miller#tlou au#the last of us au#joel miller fic#joel miller requests
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The Quiet, Dark, Landmark Rock Experiment of the Beach Boys' "Today!"
In 1964, The Beatles arrived to America and began the British Invasion, causing the Beach Boys to play catch up commercially and artistically- they released four albums in just under a year, and started laboriously touring nonstop as a result- and those results were consequential to bandleader Brian Wilson.
Brian had already been producing, arranging, and preforming in not only the band's output, but also for other artists like Glen Campbell, and stressed hard over work, his image & artistic output, and his rushed marriage with Marilyn Rovell. And eventually, while on tour- he suffered a serious panic attack that was so bad, that he soon moved away from touring to focus solely on songwriting & production...and the first major result of it all, is the 1965 album "Today!"
Today!- by many accounts, is a really *weird* album and sticks out from not only the classic surf-era of the band, but also from the post-Pet Sounds period. The latter half of the album (and the whole work in general) is often talked about in comparison to Pet Sounds, which makes sense- but I think doing that does Today! a great disservice to what the album meant in 1965- because it's endearing, strange and even innovative completely on its own terms.
Today! was divided into uptempo songs on side 1, and dramatic ballads in side 2- and the great talents of session group The Wrecking Crew were brought to do the instrumentals for both; five of their members had worked on previous Beach Boys albums like All Summer Long, but with Today!- they had a fuller, two dozen-strong crew to help create a new, bold sound in rock and roll: progressive, atmospheric, and orchestral. And more than ever before, their sound plus Brian's increasingly complex compositions and the inclusion of instruments not heard in rock helps elevate the album's sound itself to whole new levels.
The album's ideas of a more progressive rock were very novel in a world of classic rock & roll, traditional vocal pop, and then-growing folk rock movement- that barely any major act sought to go in a similar direction in rock aside from the equally-ambitious Beatles. It made the intro "Do You Wanna Dance" have a borderline power pop sound, give "When I Grow Up to be a Man" a twinkling baroque shimmer, and "Kiss Me Baby" that much more theatrical and thunderous- with Boys' harmonies in one of their strongest forms for this album, too. And not only that, Dennis Wilson sings lead for the first time on two tracks- showcasing his deep crooner vocal style and an implicit message that this isn't the youthful boy band you know anymore.
The subjects of these songs itself helped veer mainstream rock lyricism towards something much more brutally confessional and (for better or worse) much more glaringly honest and autobiographical, to an almost uncomfortable extent- the worries of growing up and your future being bad, relationship issues of mutual distrust & suspicion- but also still wanting it all to last. Brian's lyricism was much more overtly paranoid, and much more explicitly sad- sometimes in ways that Pet Sounds wasn't. This is reflected in some songs Brian sang lead in like "She Knows Me Too Well", his voice was much more hoarse and emotional in a way that goes beyond *just* singing a sad song...
Potentially leading to the more emotional lyrics and performance- Brian started to drink much more, and he used marijuana for the first time- leading directly to the hazy sadness of "Please Let Me Wonder"- a hint of Brian's willingness to go beyond music and go *deeper* within himself to make a more personal, creative statement. All of this makes the last track more glaring- it isn't even a song but part of an interview with the band, almost certainly put there by the Boys/Capitol Records to lift the downer mood of side 2 and show that "everyone's okay!" (Brian's wife, Marilyn even appears in it chatting with the group)- but this inclusion at the very end almost feels as if the entire album we just listened to was what was brewing behind the interview the whole time.
This is the album that cemented the band's image change that moved away from that iconic surf image that started in All Summer Long, and it helped chart a new path for the band that led to great future success- But things wouldn't be so rosy. After all, the lead-up to this album saw significant and growing vulnerabilities to Brian's psyche even as he was quickly & radically expanding his artistic talents...and this was hinted in the seemingly skippable last track where Mike Love utters a line that- in hindsight, is incredibly ominous-sounding:
"Brian, we keep waiting for you to make a mistake."
#the beach boys#beach boys#brian wilson#today!#the beach boys today!#the beach boys today#1965#60s music#dennis wilson#the beatles#music history#music production#album review#cw: alcohol#cw: weed#cw: drugs#mike love
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Hey, hey, hey!
*Peeks her head* *looks around* Does anyone even read tumblr posts anymore? Does @taylorswift? Does @taylornation? Because I have an idea for a fan event for The Tortured Poets Department release (or any other album release for that matter) and I’m feeling bold enough to share it somewhere, but there’s too many people on twitter, and I’m subconscious about doing a tiktok video bc I have an accent when I speak English, so I guess Tumblr it is.
Aaaaanyway, Taylor, if you or your team are by chance reading this, I wanted to present to you, with the outmost respect, this idea.
I know Secret Sessions are probably out of the picture because everything is too big and overwhelming now (at least from a fan pov, can’t even imagine from yours). But I also know that you still enjoy meeting us in person and a lot of us still dream of having the chance to hug you and talk to you for a couple minutes.
So, the other day I was watching a grainy livestream of the surprise songs at Melbourne night one (woke up in the am for that one 😂) and heard you say how you’ve never needed songwriting more than when writing TTPD. And it made me think about how fascinated I am with the process of songwriting and creating a song. I periodically watch your “Making of a song” videos and love listening to voice notes and other stuff you’ve put out over the years. I think your lyrics are such a big part of why we fans connect so much with your music, they honestly change lives and I always think about how much I would love to have a conversation with you about the process, because it’s truly fascinating to me.
Which bring us to this idea that for some reason I’m feeling brave enough to write? It’s nothing revolutionary, and could end up being quite similar to SS, but WHAT IF you did some sort of event at an undisclosed location, where you invited fans to talk about the process of songwriting and of making the record. My friends and I always talk about how many questions we would have for you about this topic, about how songs happen, how it is to work with Jack, or with Aaron, how many songs at a time do you work on, do lyrics just appear in your mind? Do you chose the titles at the end or when you’re writing a song you already know the name? etc, etc. I honestly would have a thousand questions for you.
I know this is such a bold thing to even put out there and I swear it’s not entitlement. We completely understand if fan events are too much right now, or ever again; you don’t owe us to do them either, but yeah, just putting my wildest dreams out in the universe for manifestation purposes.
And if for some reason you end up seeing this, ily Taylor🥺
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These Are The Suede Songs 002: Be My God/Art
The first dedicated post of this project, and the de facto first Suede single. Only 500 copies were produced, and the majority of these were destroyed, as the band weren’t at all happy with the result.
In fact, According to Dave Thompson, Justine Frischmann recalls keeping one copy for nostalgia’s sake. One side had “Fuck Fuck” written on it, and the other, “Double fuck”. It’s not hard to see why they might have disliked the overall result, but to destroy the majority of available copies seems slightly extreme, when you consider that these might be the first Suede songs that are actually…good?
Be My God/Art was recorded on RML, barely a label, and one that has absolutely no online trail. Mat Osman remembers it was the endeavor of a well-to-do schoolmate down in Haywards Heath who most likely had some money to throw around, and so financed bands at his rural studio. This was most likely Curtis Shwartz, who shared some photos of this session to his Instagram in 2020. Apparently, Brett was most diligent with tea-making. Videos of these sessions are also briefly featured in the BBC Rock Family Trees: The Birth of Cool Brittania documentary from 2022, which is available on YouTube and highly recommended!
instagram
Gone is the drum machine for these sessions, and up to the drum kit strode midlander Justin Welch, later the drummer for Elastica, and more recently of Aircooled, who were given a support slot on the Scottish dates of Suede’s 2023 Autofiction tour. Brett Anderson recalls Justin playing ferociously, and driving even more so, almost killing them by spinning out his car on Bethnal Green Road on one occasion. He has clearly been forgiven, as eagle-eyed fans will spot he’s been driving for Suede on their last couple of tours.
Welch’s tenure with Suede was to be short-lived. As drummers tend to be, he was in several other bands, and left amicably to join Crawley outfit Spitfire.
‘Art’ is quite a nice, groovy track. Anderson’s vocals begin to show confidence and, and there’s a certain snarl he’s adopted by this point. It’s an entertaining, catchy listen. Still erring into baggy at points, there’s a little more edge this time around, even if the lyrics remain rather empty.
I do, genuinely, seek this track out sometimes, when I’m on the bus, or sitting at my desk at work. It’s the first Suede song that could really be described as danceable. My main gripe with this one, however, is those vari-sped vocals. This, as any Suede fan knows, isn’t the first time they’d make this mistake.
‘Be My God’ on the other hand, is slow, and again the baggy influences are stronger, but this time, it’s actually good. This feels like everything Natural Born Servant should have been.
This song is often mislabelled on bootlegs as “C’mon C’mon C’mon” due to the repeated refrain, and it’s probably the first Suede track that can be considered…sexy. Anderson breathing “c’mon, have me” is undeniably sensual; an auditory come-hither. The BDSM imagery is less restrained, too, as he pants “I’ll be your dog/be my god”. Despite it hinting at becoming Venus In Furs at any moment, it’s sadly a bit too slow, plodding and musically simplistic to fulfill this wholly, and it still suffers from the virginal feeling of other earlier tracks. Dave Thompson describes this as “a ‘your place or mine’ invitation that slid sex back into the warped equation of “drugs and rock and roll”, which is a fantastic description, though I feel this does, unfortunately, lack all three key elements of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
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Marvel — Singers OC 🎼
-> -> -> I was listening to music a lot while looking over my old OC Tyler Sharp and decided why not ;)
-> Disclaimer! I don’t own the anything like the songs mentioned, artist mentioned here are just ideas and I’ve haven’t been in contact with anyone related to this post such as Sony Music. It was just a fun idea I had.
Ana B 🎼
Full Name: Ariana Sandra De Baillo
Nicknames: Ari, Ana, De Baillo, Princesses of pop, Sandy, Dra
Birthday: June 25th
Age: 25
Height: 5’1
Place of Origin: Brooklyn, New York but grew up around Washington Heights
Currently located: Los Angeles and on occasion Florida.
Specie: Half Human aka Mutant
Abilities: Sonic Screams. She can emit a highly enhanced scream of a high amplitudes. She also has the ability to vibrate her vocal chords at will.
Occupation: Singer and dance. And on occasion a bit of a small vigilante which causes her to be late to concerts and rehearsal sessions.
Type of music she likes to dabble into making: Pop, Latin Pop, R&B, Hip Hip, Rap and some acoustic.
Awards Won so far: Latin America Billboard Awards, Kids Choice Awards, Teen Choice Awards & Premios Juventud Awards
—
Arianna grew up in the lower east side of Brooklyn to a Ecuador & Mexican mother and Colombian father who always made sure that she was loved. Even if they didn’t have much, her parents made sure she had a roof over her head, food, clothes, and money for a education in New York.
In very late high school, she discovered her love for music and dance (it was given in her culture but still) Ari became in love with it. Listening to music from artists like Alicia Keys, Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Selena, Shakira and plenty of others. Singing, dancing, rapping and creating music videos using her phone or a actual camera.
—> She would practice dancing in her bedroom, creating videos and then later on uploading them onto YouTube. Especially her covers of songs and funny skits she would make with friends. Eventually a record label (Sony Music), reached out to her and help her start crafting her own.
First songs being The Way, Ready or Not & Hurricane. Being her popular ones too!
During this period of time, Ariana started singing and rapping more instead of just dancing. It was great until one day her voice was really sorely used and decided to rest her vocal chords. Soon enough she got a little cocky and frustrated waiting so long, as she decided to try to sing in her room instead. Screaming out the lyrics, resulting in her vocal chords to ring and a bounce of a quaking strength released, causing her desk to stumble back a little few feet away from her.
“Oh my..d-did i just do that?” She questioned, curiosity took over and she tried again.
It was captivating how powerful it seemed, also it was a small soft advantage to her singing. Ariana wouldn’t admit it, but she feared this power. Wondering how this would effect her career and life in general. It took her months to control it, there was a few accidents and even her manger found out one day, but she pulled though.
—-
Flash forwarded to a few years later, Ana B was singing and dancing on stages, for her own performances and other artists. Performing frontline for Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Cher Lloyd and backup dancing for Fifth Harmony performance for Grammy Awards 2014.
Even being featured in Cher Lloyds songs as well. Due to her mother’s encouragement, Ariana decided to dabble into Latin Pop as well. Her Hispanic roots. Adding a mix of Latin Pop and a bit more R&B into her songs
—> Which resulted in her to featured in Reggaetón Lento with CNCO and Little Mix, create Downtown with J Balvin, and a couple of others. Those are just to name a few. It resulted in her expanding her reach in the music and tv appearance on shows every once in a while.
——
It was going great until one dark cloudy while visiting Los Angels after chilling at the corner store she heard screams and yelling loudly from a alleyway running to help wearing her black hoodie, just all black in general due to leaving rehearsals a hour earlier.
A two girls were being robbed of their money, Ariana couldn’t stands for it and started to try and fight the robbers. The two girls were trying to fight them too.
One caught her by the wrist and held her backwards, Ariana was pissed off and narrowed her eyes a scream piercing scream filled up a sound attack sending both men to fly backward onto the brick wall. Slamming their heads against the wall, knocked out cold. She didn’t mean to do that, it was a scream of panic and anger.
It shocked Ariana as she turned to the girls, “A-are you okay?”
“Y-yeah..h-how did you do that?” One of them asked, grabbing their purse.
“I um..i just screamed, i guessed.” She replied, trying to cover up what happened.
The other one recognized her and gasp, “Y-your—you’re Ana B!”
Ariana smiled sheepishly and nodded, “..y-yeah i am..you girls should go home. We all should!”
The both girls nodded and gushed realizing that this artist saved their lives. They called the cops and went home. However Ariana spent those next few day rethinking that captivating scream and how she saved those girls. She smiled, it felt good. Real good. It took a few days to quietly decide but Ariana decided to used her gift and saved a few others every once in a while. But since Ariana wasn’t trained or anything, she wasn’t the best low crime fighter, at least she tried..
She took up a bit of boxing and stuff to help with fight. A few short self defense posts and it helps her moves on stage, a lot. Sometimes Ariana would be late to rehearsal dressed in a black outfit afterwards. For example…
At start of a small bank robbery downtown, a few men dressed in grey and black suit came running in. There were guns and shouting, when she sneaked into the place. Everything was fine as she pretended to be one of others until a robber grabbed her grab and smirked, “Oh, not so fast, sweetheart.”
She groaned, using her shoulder to elbow him in the chest, “Don’t grab women, sweetheart.”
Her and one of robbers started to dance, twirling, kicking and spinning around the room. Ariana was thrown across the room, her back landing on a desk near a receptionist as she yelled with her vibrating vocals chords, “Get the cops online..p-please.” The women nodded, doing as told.
Ariana was slammed into a wall, she sighed, “Now I know how The Avengers feel..this hurts.” She glances at the clock, as her eyes widened in shock, 1:23pm, she was going to be late to the studio. Better make this quick.
Taking a deep breath and narrowing her eyes towards the robbers. Like singing loudly into a microphone, Ariana lowering her mask closed her eyes shut as a scream ripped off at a medium amplitude modulation knocking off both men. They stumbled back, holding their ears and full lose balance. The cop sirens went off and Ariana nodded at the receptionist putting a finger over lips, that were covered again by the mask, then ran out.
She arrived 5 minutes late, not the worse thing. If one had to be honest, the girl tend to always be a tad late depending on what day it was. Her manger Naya, rushed her off to get ready asking if she was alright seeing how she looked a little bruised. Ariana smiled, getting an ice pack for her aches and Advil for her pains. Naya was like a big sister to her, making sure she was okay and healthy, however she always wondered what her client was up to when she’s not around.
-> Her street outfits
-> Causal Outfits
—-
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Remember to like, comment and share ;)
Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @mandylove1000 @morgan108 @drspencereidhotch @gcthvile @superspookyjanelle @msrochelleromanofffelton @sherloquestea @rooster-84 @meiramel @halesfavoriteharlot @blueboirick and etc
#marvel oc#marvel original character#becky g#writing community#singer au#singer and actress#sonic scream#x men imagine#x men oc#celebrity#celeb style#avengers au#latin music#latina artist#sony music#poc oc#latina oc
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track four — the ex tapes
warnings: not proofread. this is not a fluff series, so be ready for some angst and angry characters.
author's note: thanks for all the love these past few chapters! sorry for taking a little bit longer to post this chapter, i wanted to finish chapter five before posting this one (but i'm taking too long to write it, sorry)
series masterlist
Eddie is right on time. He drives his black car to the spot next to yours — and you wonder if he still has the van. You motion for him to get out and smile.
“We’re taking mine,” you point to your car, “but you’re driving.”
“Good morning to you as well, honey,” at least he’s in a good mood. “Should I get my stuff with us?”
“Yeah, we’re probably driving straight to the studio after this.”
He gets his belongings — electric guitar, notepad, cigarettes and keys — and gets to your car. He looks at you and smiles when he sees two cups of coffee in your hand.
“Steve said you like black coffee, with no sugar,” you extend one to him. “Now it makes sense.”
“I’m sorry, but you have to believe me it was one big huge coincidence that the best coffee in town is from Steve’s cafe.”
“Can you stop saying you’re sorry? It’s kinda annoying.”
Eddie opens his mouth to say “sorry” again, but you shush him. “Don’t make me regret this, Munson.”
“Oh so we’re using last names. Ok, Rogers, where do you wanna go?”
“Let’s drive for a while, towards Malibu. We can stop for lunch, I don’t know, let’s see what's gonna happen.”
“Sure you don’t wanna drive?”
“No, I need to write down some stuff while we are talking, so you drive.”
“‘K, love. Ready to go?”
You hop in your side of the car and Eddie follows. He turns the engine up, says it’s a great car and starts driving. You sip your coffee slowly, watching Eddie’s details. His hands on the wheel like he’s in control of everything, his eyes lost in the road. He’s just like the Eddie you fell in love with. The biggest difference is that you’ve broken each other’s heart, and there’s no way to fix it now.
“So, you’re just gonna watch me?” he asks, getting you back to reality.
“Hm, no, sorry,” you turn the radio on and one of your songs is playing. This one has been out for a few weeks, you’ve written it alone in a studio with a producer and the artist, pouring his feelings into the paper like he’s gonna break apart. It’s a good one. “You’re not the only one good at turning bad relationships into songs.”
“I know, I might have learned a thing or two from you. Your poems were really good, you know,” he faces you and smiles. “So, what are we doing here?”
“We’re driving to focus and clear our minds.”
“So we are discussing our past.”
“Not exactly. I wanna know more about how you’ve been doing, how are you feeling and what do you expect from our song.”
“I understand. Are you recording it?” He signs to the notebook and voice recorder in your lap. “I don’t mind, I just need a heads up.”
“No, not recording. It’s just in case I have a melody in mind. And I’m just writing down enough to guide us through the session. I can give you the papers after it.”
“No, it’s fine. How do you do it? I mean, how did you choose your process?”
“Trial and error, I think. It helps me connect with myself and other people. How do you do it?” You shake your shoulders.
“We ask ourselves what we wanna write about and that’s pretty much it. Someone gives the beat and melody, I’ll play something on the guitar and that’s it. A producer helps us put it all together.”
“Glad it works for you to keep things home,” you bite your lower lip. “What do you wanna write about?”
“I don’t know. Love, hate, losses, dreams, I’ve done all of those things,” Eddie moves his hand around. “I’m out of ideas at this point, they want me to write a ballad but that’s not my thing.”
“You can always create a story,” you suggest, but you can’t remember a song from Corroded Coffin that isn’t based on something real. You know them and their stories.
“Didn’t work. Doesn’t feel true, you know,” he holds the wheel stronger. “Do you create stories?”
“Sometimes. Like sometimes it’s not my story, so I create the character for it and I write through their vision. But most of the time I talk from experience.”
“That one song about revenge?”
“Broke his guitar after I found out he cheated on me.”
“Hm, I think you wrote one about marriage?”
“Oh, that one was based on the singer’s recent divorce. I wanted a new perspective so we wrote about the end of the wedding party as a farewell.”
“That one is really good, very clever,” he turns down the radio. “Why didn't you record it yourself?”
“I don’t like the stage at all. Didn’t my time stepping in for Jeff enough to make this clear?”
“How many times did you throw up after the gig?”
“Three. Definitely not my best moment,” you play with your pen. “I’ve written a few songs about us. Only gave them to artists I trust tho.”
“Which one is your favorite?”
“From my songs?”
“From Corroded Coffin. Choose one.”
“Maybe that one with the sickening drum solo where you sing about changing who you are from the beginning. That’s actually metal.” You’ve heard their songs the day before, getting familiar with their sound.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Munson. But you still didn’t answer me: what do you wanna write about?”
“Dunno. Ever since I found out you’re the almighty Charlie Rogers, I’ve been thinking about our relationship. It was like a part of me was gone and I could never get it back.”
“If you’re talking about your Metallica t-shirt, I’m not giving it back to you,” you try to make the conversation lighter. “I’m serious.”
“It’s not that,” he laughs. “Is it too cliche if I say I left my heart with you?”
“No,” you pause, taking a deep breath before confessing, “because I feel the same.”
“Yeah, that’s what I cannot write about as much as I try. I’ve tried and failed.”
“We can find something else to write about,” you touch his arm. “Songwriters need to be honest, but you don’t need to rip your heart apart just for one song.”
Eddie takes your hand and brings it to his lips. His eyes are on the road, but you see a small teardrop on the corner, ready to touch his skin. Your hand caresses his face gently. That’s what you were afraid of: he would always be the missing word in your lyrics, no matter how hard you tried to avoid it.
The silence sinks in. You don’t move your hand, Eddie doesn’t talk about anything else. You wish you could read his mind to understand what changed during the years. You kept your distance from Corroded Coffin, you knew about their success and that was it. If you had listened to one of their songs it was because someone was playing it. You have your favourites, but you never allowed yourself to have their vinyls at home fearing you might find your way back to the memories.
“Can we make a quick stop? I wanna smoke one,” he asks, unsure if it’s the right time to do it.
“Sure.”
“Promise I won’t take too long.”
Eddie makes a quick turn and stops at the side of the road, the car facing the beach. He leaves his seat and you’re left alone with the confessions. He walks towards the beach in front of you, the cigarette already burning in his lips.
No, you can’t do it again.
You step out of the car, holding your arms around yourself, and walk away from it. If the tears break, you don’t want him to see it. As much as you hate to admit it, you still love him. You knew it from the moment he promised he’s walking away from your life when this ends. And you just got him back.
“Y/N?” he calls you in the distance.
“Give me a moment,” you wave, still not facing his direction. “2 minutes!”
“Ok.”
You do everything that you can to be back in two minutes. But as soon as the tears break, you don’t think you’re gonna be able to survive this day. Doesn’t matter how many times you remind yourself this is gonna be good for your career, that Eddie is walking away as soon as you finish it, that you’ll never have to worry about money after this song—it’s Corroded Coffin, you’re probably getting royalties for the song for the rest of your life even if it doesn’t make the top of the charts.
“Y/N?” This time, Eddie is closer. “Hey, you ok?”
You try to walk away, but Eddie gently grabs your arm and turns you. You’re face to face, and you watch when his face changes. Eddie holds your face like you’re the most delicate thing in the world, and he doesn’t say a word until you’re sobbing.
“Sweetheart, hey, do you feel sick? Are you ok? Do you wanna go back?”
You nod, lacking the words you want to explain how you’re feeling.
“What’s wrong?” he lowers his face. “Please, don’t leave me in the silence.”
“If- if you didn’t get the deal, do you think we would get back together?” You hold his hands, your mind taking you back to the other night, to the fight, to the night you’ve met all together. “Eddie, please.”
“I loved you, Y/N, I really did. And the moment you walked away, you took a piece of me with you. Like there was no air in my lungs, my heart stopped beating, my future was gone. But I don’t know, the band was also everything that I had, and maybe we could’ve worked out. Why does it matter now?”
“I keep getting back to that night,” you try to take a step back, but this only makes Eddie hold you tighter. “That changed our lives, Eds, and even though we are doing much better now, I’ve felt the worst for years. I’d close my eyes and see us together, the memories coming back and punching me in the face with the news about you. I still feel so guilty and lonely.”
“Maybe that’s how things were supposed to be, you know,” his words make you feel a little better, but not at all. “We can’t change the past, and I know you regret the things we said to each other that night. It’s fine, sweetheart, I swear.”
“I’m so, so sorry, Eds. I shouldn't have said those things to you, you didn’t deserve it,” you’re sobbing, fighting back the urge to give up everything and run away from him. No, not this time. You’re staying and facing all of your fears.
“Can I hug you, Y/N?”
You throw yourself into his arms. The three words are on the tip of your tongue and you wanna spill them out, but you’re too afraid of scaring Eddie. He said he loved you. Past. He doesn’t love you anymore. Maybe he still cares about you, but this isn’t love.
Burying your face deeper in his chest, you try to calm yourself. Eddie’s hands move up and down your back, playing with the fabric of your t-shirt and your hair. He doesn’t say a word until you step back.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better. Thanks, Eds” You intertwine your fingers and a smile takes over your face. “I think I have an idea for your song.”
“Oh, really?” You start walking back to the car. “Tell me more. I’ll drive, you write and by dinner we’ll be done.”
“Actually, we need to go to the studio right now. I’ll show you what I’m planning on our way there.”
“Ending our fun so soon?”
“Do you want the song or nah?”
“I do!”
“So drive us back to the studio. I’m confident this one is gonna be a huge hit.”
Eddie opens the door for you and says “I fully trust you on that.”
You instantly smile and feel your chest getting warmer.
“So what are you waiting for, Munson? Let’s hit the studio” you call him.
“You’re so lucky I booked it for the whole day.”
You laugh and start recording your voice “So, this is how it goes…”
+++
Eddie lays the electric guitar over the coffee table and smiles, still impressed by your skills.
“How did you never tell me you played the drums?” You just finished your part on the demo, filling the drums to help Eddie when he explains to the label what he got. “Seriously, how did I miss this?”
“Once a rebel, always a rebel,” you shake your shoulders. Your parents let you learn anything you wanted after you mastered the piano. “I think that’s done. Like, you can record better vocals and some backing with the boys, but the lyrics are pretty much done.”
“Thank you, really,” he stands up and gets closer to you. “Couldn't have done it without you, Y/N. I’m serious.”
“You’re welcome, Eddie. Don’t forget to add Charlie Rogers in the credits.”
“I won’t.”
You pack your things — the notebook where you wrote the idea for the verse, your voice recorder where you did the melody while you were still in the car — and get ready to leave. It’s been hours since you’ve arrived and exhaustion is getting the best of you.
“Do you fancy a ride back to my place?” You offer, since he left his car there.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll finish some things here and come get my car tomorrow.”
“You sure? I don’t mind.”
“I will be here for another hour or two, and I don’t wanna make you wait. I’ll swing by tomorrow, ok?”
“Ok.” You look around one more time, making sure you got your things. “It was nice to work with you, Eddie. Always knew you were talented.”
“You’re the mastermind behind the idea, so I should be the one saying that,” he faces you. “We could be a good writing duo, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” He’s walking away from your life, don’t do it, don’t schedule a second session, you’re gonna regret it, your inner voice was screaming. “Maybe next time you’re recording a new EP.”
“We’ll see if you’re gonna be down for it,” he smiles, teasing the day you left him alone in the studio. Gosh, that feels like a decade ago. “Thank you, Y/N.”
“You’re welcome.” You hold the handle and open the door. “Goodbye, Eddie.” Even though none of you talked about it during the whole day, you know it’s over.
Before you can close the door behind you, Eddie calls your name and you step back.
“I’ll keep my part of the deal, I promise. But before you go, I need one more thing,” he says, already on his feet and walking in your direction.
Your bodies crash into each other. His lips are soft and hungry against yours. You open your mouth and savor the moment for as long as it's gonna last. Because you know the only thing that will survive this day is the song you made.
taglist: @lokiofasgard616 @munsonology @sidthedollface2
(i don't know if the taglist worked the last time, still learning the ropes)
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#rockstar!eddie munson#eddie munson#rockstar!eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x f!reader#rockstar!eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x you#songwriter!reader x eddie munson#songwriter!reader x rockstar!eddie munson
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“Demons Dance’? Lord knows what that’s about!…”
I get a feeling that Paul keeps tracks with some of his most personal lyrics away from centre stage: released as bonus tracks on separate editions of albums, as additional tracks on various formats. This goes back to ‘Same Love’, a track written in 1987 but only released as a b-side of the 1997 single ‘Beautiful Night’. A track so glorious that, by any rational standards, it should have been front and centre of an album release.
The usual proviso applies that the lyrics might just be words to go with a tune but, really? The song deals with thoughts of rekindling a past love, with all the complications and uncertainties that would go with that. “Though it may not be as good as new, well, still, it must be better than the pain that I went through”. Listen to how he sings the word “pain”. If he’s not being real there, he’s a much better actor than he’s given credit for.
But what about a few of his by the way tracks from more recent times? Let’s look at ‘Demons Dance’ and ‘Struggle’.
‘Demons Dance’ was recorded during the sessions for ‘New’ but was only released in October 2014 as part of the Collector’s Edition of New. The Paul McCartney Project blog tells us that during his Twitter Q&A on October 30 2014, Paul was asked what was the meaning of ‘Demons Dance’ and what inspired it. He swiftly batted that away with “Demons Dance’? Lord knows what that’s about!” Well, quite. None of the regular tactic of saying that the lyrics have no particular meaning.
The song’s narrator has a desire for a connection with someone, and the feelings that go with this are so strong he likens them to his personal demons. This goes deep. Only by connecting with this person, can he get peace of mind.
“I can't wait much longer 'til you tell me baby, there’s some chance we'll get together maybe, sooner or later I'll be in with half a chance”
This has been a long term feeling and he’s desperate for some message of reciprocation. Only that can ‘exorcise’ his demons. The guy’s got it bad. “Girl I want you to do it, I’ve been waiting so long”. Yep, this goes way back.
Do you write lyrics as intense as this if you don’t really feel them? I’m going with nope.
What about ‘Struggle’, first released on the Japanese version of ‘New’? This one doesn’t hang about getting to the point: “ Want to get you in my heart again, want to love you once more”, it begins. It sounds like the same narrator we heard in ‘Demons Dance’. Again, and even more explicitly, this is addressed to someone the narrator used to be with.
“If you wanna love, if you wanna fight, it doesn’t really matter, I want you tonight”. So maybe this past relationship had its’ ups and downs, was a bit volatile. “I can think of something when I get you home tonight”, he adds. See previous post for the possible importance of “home tonight”, a phrase that turns up in five Macca songs.
“It’s the same old story, it’s happening again”, he declares. This longing is something that has been a feature through the years for the narrator. It has peak periods of intensity.
“Anytime you want me, I’m not hard to find”. This person is out of his current orbit but could contact him easily enough.
“We can work it out together, we'll get through this somehow”. Yeah, we can work it out…..
It ends with “It's the same old story, it's happening again. Life’s eternal struggle”. It may ebb and flow but this feeling isn’t going away.
Jumping ahead to tracks from the Egypt Station sessions, we’ve previously had a look at ‘Get Enough’. One of his most emotionally raw lyrics. Snuck out on streaming platforms as the clock struck 12 at New Year 2019.
Then there’s ‘Sixty Second Street’, released on subsequent editions of ‘Egypt Station’. Set to a pretty tune, this is a lighter take than the other tracks we’ve looked at but, again, describes a desire to connect with someone. Our narrator wants to meet up with this person, just a minute of their time is all he needs. Mind you, he then suggests they “grab a bite”, so maybe a bit longer. A lighter take, yes, but meeting up with this person would make his life complete, so it’s a big deal.
A recurring theme going on here, I reckon.
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Hi, I’ve just recently joined the Catfish talk and now going through some of your asks. What exactly happened that made the band break up and why are Bondy and Benji I think you said, no longer part of it, now that a comeback is happening? (I’m sorry if this has been discussed before 🙈)
Hello ❤️ It’s so lovely to see new fans popping up and please don’t apologise, there’s been so much that’s happened over the last few years I think it’s even been a struggle for the longtime fans to keep up! I’m sure you don’t wanna wade through all my asks and I can’t find the summary post I made before so I’ll try my best to remember and give a quick breakdown. So… basically during covid someone noticed that Bob the drummer had resigned from the CATB live company on Companies House. We were all shocked as there was no word from the band. Then Bondy and Benji also resigned. There was talk of had the band split/was this just for tax reasons etc but the band was silent and we were all awaiting them headlining Reading festival in summer 2021 and playing a few other festivals. Anyway when we watched Reading which was televised it was quite obvious something was off, the lads have so much energy on stage and Van didn’t seem himself and there was no interaction between Van and Bondy AT ALL. They always have these little things they do like Van will say “This is Johnny Bond yeah!” before his solo. There was none of that 😢 We all put it down to nerves and they played 3 more shows seeming much more confident but Bondy looked like he was kind of switched off still. We were kinda worried but they announced a huge stadium gig with Stereophonics at Cardiff the day after their last gig at NBHD Weekender so that lifted our hopes. Cardiff was postponed later due to covid to June 2022 and Bob posted that he’d officially left the band in Sept 2021. Still zero communication with fans from the official band account so we assumed the others were still in.
Then… 2 weeks before Cardiff they pulled out, no band announcement at all, no word. Fans were in meltdown some had paid to travel from America and further to see them 😭 Absolute silence until Bondy (bless his heart) posted on his Instagram (check it out I’ll link below). Bondy had officially left in March 2021 before the summer shows and him and Bob had stepped in as session musicians. We will never know (I doubt they’ll tell us now) what went down but it’s quite obvious there’s a huge rift between Bondy and Van. So many rumours have been flying around since then.
I’m so sorry I wrote a lot and it’s probably all waffle I think you probably only wanted the juicy details of the breakup which no one knows unfortunately. Personally I think much as I love him Van’s not the easiest to work with, he talks about rows with record producers etc, he even wrote a song Fallout about falling out with an old manager. He has very strong ideas about the CATB sound and I think he probably needs a lot of control creatively, plus the guys toured relentlessly it must have taken its toll on them all, I think the cracks had started and when Covid hit the other guys realised they didn’t want it anymore. But… now we have CATB (Van and possibly Benji back) plus Bob and Bondy have their own bands now too so hopefully things have worked out for the best!
Anyway feel free to come and chat about catb anytime lovely (even though I’ve probably put you off now writing all this) 😂😂
instagram
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Me on film by Cin Lona in Los Angeles, CA.
I haven’t had a place where I can endlessly type out thoughts for awhile… I wanna tell you what’s really been going on behind the scenes with my career. The highs, lows and everything in between. If you followed me here, you’re a true medranhoe. These might be long, but I hope you find these interesting. <3 Here’s my story so far…
After releasing Fluids & going viral on twitter a few times, I was found by a team parented by Epic Records in 2020. In hindsight, it’s better that I never officially signed. We had our first meeting on March 15, 2020, can you believe? The next day, the world shut down and I didn’t hear from them for months. They had just spent a shit ton of money on lunch with me where they told me they were gonna put me on tour as an opener, promised me Rock in Rio within the first 2 years of working, and a huge deal with the parent company. I was devastated when the lockdowns started, but I understood. We were all scared.
Eventually we got to talking again and tried to work during the pandemic. The music industry collapsed and TikTok became the way to break artists. So they encouraged me to get on there & start making content. Then they linked me up with a personal trainer. Took care of the costs, put it onto my development budget. In between, they’d whisk me away to estates in Palm Springs, 5 star hotels in Venice, insanely expensive dinners in LA’s art district. It was a dream come true, it was too good to be true. I predicted this would happen in my teen years. I feel like I’ve already seen my life happen, but that’s for another post.
From there, I wrote a radio top 40 single with AJ, got my first sync deals, got Fluids in front of Mike Dean and a couple other huge name producers (they all love the song by the way) and started working on my album with my co-producer Dan. He’s gone on to work with BTS and Noah Cyrus which is fucking amazing & honestly will be a great little quip for press when my album drops. A win is a win. The songs are great, we worked on 5 songs together for the record.
Slowly but surely, things looked less and less promising with the team. Texts and calls got less frequent, my personal training sessions were cancelled. I knew what was happening. Another part of my story I’d already foreseen. Even through all of this, they remained so kind & supportive, for which I’m grateful. Regardless, I could feel them pulling away and that hurt.
In spite of going viral on tiktok over and over again, my streams and listeners rapidly rising, the deal never happened. It hurt so fucking bad. I cried and screamed and raged and ranted to anyone who would listen. I’m still not fully over it, but I have a little more clarity & peace now. It wasn’t my fault & I know this is common in the industry, but I guess I was just really hoping to bypass that part of the story. I’ve always been an impatient fuck.
So I picked myself up like always do and said fine, I’ll drop this album myself. Started the rollout and the music got attention from bigger names. All. By. Myself. Personal Heaven dropped and it got to Slayyyter. She told me she loved the song, wanted a session with me, and we became friends. She’s the first pop star in the industry that went out of her way to be kind & work with me. I’ve always admired her so much, I really hope one of the songs we worked on (or will work on) comes out one day. I’m seriously so grateful for her friendship.
Then I started working with Funk LeBlanc and we made a song that was an instant success with fans. ‘Do Your Thing, Babe!’ went viral 5 times all in different scales. The lowest viewed tiktok had 60k, the highest almost half a million. Labels got into my email again, ranging from EMI (they ghosted me after 1 email — why i’ll never know — but that one hurt) to smaller indie efforts. A new team reached out to me, this time with ties to Columbia. A dream label of mine. I’m still working with the imprint label now, but things are a little more low key. No promises of deals, no expensive dinners, no parties, just little meetings here and there — a friendship almost. I don’t know if this is better or not, but it feels good and genuine. They love the music, the image, and I really am so thankful to my first team for helping me curate that side of myself.
So now, I spend my days going to sessions, doing quick jobs for extra cash, playing with my puppy, and working out. Kim Petras recently followed me and I don’t really know why but I love her & hope it’s for my music. I’m hoping to get into sessions with her one day too, maybe a collab? Hopefully. I just gotta really make my mark. I may not be where I want to, but my god am I further along than where I was. My project is finally out in January. My heart once broken is finally healing. For the first time in a long time, the future looks bright and I’m happy.
- Disco Dad.
#michael medrano#disco dad#party aesthetic#men who smoke#smoke cloud#smoke aesthetic#stache papi#tumblr diary#music industry#artists on tumblr#leather daddy#indie sleaze#slayyyter#kim petras#pop star#me
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Weekly Update March 15, 2024
Something is wrong with me today, but I’m not sure what. I’m keeping an eye on what I suspect it may be, although it’s more likely a sleep related problem. I’ll try to get to bed early tonight. I did a good amount of artstuffs this week, though.
First real significant thing I did this week was record a bunch of melodies for songs and covers. I’m getting somewhere on the main cover I’m working on, and I’ll be tweaking the vocals hopefully soon and possibly posting a WIP once they’re acceptable. I think I will need to chop up the wav file and add effects only to specific notes to add more bite, since vocaloid seems to not really be able to do that. That’s fine I’m a smart person sometimes I can get around it.
Other instrumental songs are going well too. Made good progress on an old Zelda medley/cover I’d been working on, and another instrumental character theme has a good outline. I’ll try to really push for them soon, and once I get the Zelda one done I’ll poke at mechanical license websites to see how bad pricing is and see what songs are even available. The vocal cover should be, since it’s from a mainstream band, but I don’t know if video game music will be available, we’ll see. I might also go in for more recording tonight to see if a bit of movement/exercise would help whatever physical problem I’m having today.
I also have been having awful insomnia, which I’ve been using the time to try chipping away at lyrics for the two ‘vocal’ songs I’m done with otherwise. I’m sitting down and doing one section per session, so with any luck I can get those done soon too.
Drawings are also going well enough. I’m getting weirdly self conscious about my art, since I haven’t really seen a lot of growth in interaction on any of the sites I post to except here. Thank you guys for sticking with me! I’m trying to pull myself together to do more small drawings, so you guys have a bit more to look at for now, although I also have been chipping away at that comic still. I need to write/thumbnail 2 more scenes and edit, then I should be good to make actual pages.
Aside from the initial pitch comic I’m thinking about the outlines for the rest of the stories a bit more now. I get anxious when I get insomnia so I’ve been trying to just write in general, so I can at least be productive with the time, and that’s included lyric stuff, TTRPG stuff, and a lot of OC story stuff. I’m always afraid to lore dump on here unless I’m explicitly asked, for fear of coming off as annoying, but all things considered people seem to like the posts that include lore a bit better so my fear is probably unfounded. Perhaps I will do more on my own, but if you ever really want lore never be afraid to send an ask. I also tag the names of my reoccurring OCs so people can search my blog for them if they want to see more of any specific character.
Also speaking of writing, am still chipping away at an Anime Campaign/Epithet TTRPG game. I put up a poll on the epithet subreddit, which was a cleverly disguised way to gauge interest in an epithet pre-written campaign, since people are more likely to interact with a poll than to upvote a post. There were fourty something people who responded, almost unanimously positively. I might throw another one up there to see how many would actually be interested in DMing, but if feedback comes back positive I might turn what I’ve been working on into a prewritten module for others to run as well. That’d also be a fun writing project, which will be nice because writing is lower effort and lets me rest more, and rest is what I think I need right now.
Good amount of stuff got done this week despite me being in generally poor health. I will try to get better. Focusing on more writing stuff with smaller drawings like headshots will try to be the focus for next week.
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