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disneyprincemuke · 1 day

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dancing with your ghost * cl16

the ghost of your relationship lingers in your old apartment, reminding you of what's lost

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

notes: today, i got an anon ask asking if i was allergic to happiness so this one is dedicated to u babes,, i'm doubling down

(f1 masterlist)

there is something different about the air in the kitchen when you walk in. your heart hits the floor. it takes a minute to realise why you’ve avoided this room the entire time you’ve been back home in new york.

upon your move to los angeles to kickstart your career, you’d left the apartment vacant until you were ready to face the truth. that you’d now fallen out of the relationship you once poured your entire self into.

you rest your head on the door frame, watching your entire relationship unfold in visions in this tiny apartment, once shared with the person you now know nothing about.

you stood over the counter and charles held you from behind with his chin resting on your shoulder. “please be careful,” he hummed sweetly, “the knife is so big and we can’t have another er trip. we can’t afford it.”

you laughed and threw your head back on his shoulder. you looked up at him with an overwhelming warmth in your chest. “well, it would be hard to make dinner with a smaller knife,” you giggled along with him.

charles pressed a tender kiss on your shoulder before he pulled away. you remember looking over your shoulder as you chased for his warmth — you’d never gotten used to the cold of new york — and he just smiled at you as he poured himself a glass of water. “i just don’t want you to get hurt.”

his smile reached his eyes and at the time, you knew that he clearly felt the same way. you often wonder when that started to change.

when did he start lying when he’d say he loves you, or when did the spark in his eyes when looking at you disappear? had you truly been so blind to not notice that he started to spite you eventually?

you remember the kitchen used to be the brightest room in your apartment, always complaining about how hard it was to cook once the sun had set. one day, charles made his way out and got you white lights to ease your difficulty.

you look at it now and it is barely recognisable. two out of the five lights are no longer working and one flickers above your head.

you can hear echoes of giggling in the back of your head. you turn around and your attention is immediately caught by the piano at the far end of the room. you hear the melodies hang in the air like they’d always been stuck there, cursed to never be heard by the masses after you’d pushed it into a box in your mind.

you drag your feet over to the piano, dimly lit by one of the salt lamps you and charles had gotten at a market one sleepless night. you lift the cover with a sigh. you run your fingers over the keys carefully, as if afraid that it would crumble along with the bittersweet memories of hours spent sitting in the seat that came with it.

charles found you sitting here on one of your sleepless nights, aimlessly playing around with a melody that had been bugging you all day. you laughed when you noticed him stalking you from the small crack of your bedroom door pulled open.

“i’m sorry,” you frowned, “did i wake you with all of this?”

“no,” he shook his head with a smile and his arms folded over his chest. he walked over to you. “please, don’t let me interrupt. i loved that.”

you sighed and slumped your shoulders as a blush crept up your cheeks. “that’s all i currently have. i’ve been stuck here all day.”

he hummed and rested his arms on your shoulders and bore his eyes onto the monotonous keys of the piano you shared. “you say that all the time, but you eventually figure it out.”

“can you help me?” you prompted. you lifted your fingers from the keys and wrapped them around his hands, turning slightly to press a kiss to the back of his hand. “you’re the only one i trust that wouldn’t ruin the melody.”

“my help with another song?” he teased, scrunching his nose. “i might have to start charging you for my services.”

you laughed as he squeezed himself next to you in the tiny seat. composing melodies with charles wasn’t a foreign practice, spending most of your sleepless nights sitting around the piano as you try to spurt lyrics out to match a melody.

you almost start to feel bad for your neighbours who had to endure several nights of this behaviour. hushed giggles under the influence of wine with poorly composed melodies begging to be put to rest with your string of words.

“i was thinking something like this to continue would be good,” charles hummed, wrapping an arm around you to get to the further end of the piano.

on the top of the piano and a pile of sheet music with tiny doodles in different coloured ink. you pick it up with a smile, a work-in-progress title is written in big block letters in charles’s handwriting with a small heart in the corner.

you remember well working on this song together. you wonder if that was when it started to all fall apart. if that was when charles had started growing to slightly despise you.

you start to go sift through the pile of papers. all of these songs will probably never see the light of day — even thinking of them just hurt — except for that one song.

that one song that started playing on the radio after you’d released it with crossed fingers and all of the hope in the world. you turn around and look at the living room, remembering the way you’d scrambled to move the furniture around when you heard a familiar melody filling the empty air of your apartment.

charles had insisted you celebrate with a mini dance party.

he pushed the table and the couch back, grabbing your hand as he started moving to the beat. though, you could argue that a ballad is not the type of song you throw your head back and dance along to.

but he somehow made it possible.

the million versions of that song only exist in your head and hopefully his: the ballad, the pop, the alternate version and the version with the different set of lyrics.

you can then suddenly hear the slamming of doors the night that things started to blow up. you hated it — you remember thinking that you could change his mind as he packed his things into a bag. not all of his things, which is what frustrates you even more to this day.

he could have at least shown you some decency by taking all of his things after having decided that he can’t do it anymore. you look around the living room and there are still remnants of charles everywhere.

his reason? he despises the success you’ve managed to find without him; the new world you’ve seemingly built and left him behind. and because of it, he finds it difficult not to be jealous of you — to not hate you.

it still stings to this day.

“i don’t love you anymore,” charles said in a tired sigh after your back-and-forth screaming. “i didn’t want to have to say it, but it seems like that’s the only thing that will put a stop to this.”

“to what?” you asked, hearing your heart shatter in your chest.

“to you asking me to stay! i don’t want to stay!” he explained with a dry laugh. he watched as tears filled your eyes as you slowly processed his words. “i tried to see if it was a mistake that i feel this way, but i can’t… i– i don’t love you anymore.”

it was difficult to climb as an aspiring classical musician. it’s such a niche market that watching your career, as a popstar, made it difficult to not let the resentment get the best of him.

charles had reached out a few weeks ago, through his personal assistant, inquiring if you’d ever release the songs you’d written together. he’d received a simple no from you personally, written with a bitter scoff while you sipped on some seltzer after a concert.

you wonder if he would do anything with the arrangements you’d spent creating together.

you see the ghost of your relationship tangled on the couch, sickeningly lost in the magic of the early stages of your time together.

“we’re going to make it,” charles whispered in your ear as he mimicked a sign with his hands. “you’ll be performing sold-out concerts, releasing music that people want to hear… and i’ll be the idiot at the sideline watching you like a lovesick fool.”

“no,” you laughed, shaking your head. “you’ll be my classical musician boyfriend. the best of its kind, better than mozart, perhaps?”

“nonsense!”

that had turned to you sitting on opposite ends of the couch with your head in your hands. charles sat in silence with his staggered breathing taking over the room.

“i’m sorry,” he sighed. “i didn’t want it to end this way.”

“i just don’t understand,” you croaked out, your voice cracking, “you said you loved me this morning when i left the apartment. so, you lied.”

charles dropped his head. “i still do, but… with the way it’s going… it’s not ending well.”

and that’s the last conversation you had with him. he’d left your shared apartment shortly after that, taking your prolonged silence as a cue for him to leave.

he’s dead to you now, along with all of the bittersweet memories you’d spent together in this very apartment. which is what you’d flown back to new york for — to pack it all up and get your things. you’re finally letting the apartment go along with all of the hatred you’ve got for charles.

taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @localwhoore @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @c-losur3

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke f1

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reidfucker · 3 days

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mitski songs that make me think of reid + a specific lyric

spencer reid is very mitski. but these were the first to come to mind. i do not take criticism.

- working for the knife

honestly, the entire song reminds me of reid, but this in particular:

I always thought the choice was mine

And I was right, but I just chose wrong

I start the day lying and end with the truth

That I'm dying for the knife

- liquid smooth

I'm liquid smooth, come touch me, too

I'm at my highest peak, I'm ripe

About to fall

How I feel this river rushing through my veins

With nowhere else to go, it circles 'round

- class of 2013

Mom, would you wash my back?

This once, and then we can forget

And I'll leave what I'm chasing

For the other girls to pursue

Mom, am I still young?

Can I dream for a few months more?

- i don't smoke

Just don't leave me alone

Wondering where you are

I am stronger than you give me

Credit for

If your hands need to break

More than trinkets in your room

You can lean on my arm

As you break my heart

- abbey

again, the entire song is very reid, but:

I am something

I have been something

I was born something

What could I be?

There is a light that I can see

But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me

There is a dream that I sometimes see

That only appears in the dark of sleep

- i bet on losing dogs

Will you let me, baby, lose

On losing dogs

I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place

By the ring

Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down

I wanna feel it

I bet on losing dogs

I always want you when I'm finally fine

- the deal

Then of course, nothing replied, nothing speaks to you in the night

And I walked my way home, there was no one in sight

Save a bird perched upon a streetlight, watchin' me

So, I stopped and let it watch 'til I found that it said

"Now I'm taken, the night has me

You won't hear me singin'

You're a cage without me

Your pain is eased, but you'll never be free for

Now I'm taken, the night has me"

- fireworks

this is perhaps one of the reid-est. here's the particular lyric:

One morning this sadness will fossilize

And I will forget how to cry

I'll keep going to work and you won't see a change

Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye

I will go jogging routinely

Calmly and rhythmically run

And when I find that a knife's sticking out of my side

I'll pull it out without questioning why

- i don't like my mind

again, the entire song is reid, but this is my pick:

I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room

With all its opinions about the things that I've done

So, yeah, I blast music loud, and I work myself to the bone

And on an inconvenient Christmas, I eat a cake

- first love / late spring

very cliché, but i HAD to include it! here:

And I was so young when I behaved 25

Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child

And I don't wanna go home

Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

- there's nothing left for you

You could touch fire

You could fly

It was your right

It was your life

And then it passed

To someone new

It'll keep passin' on

Long after you

- nobody

And I don't want your pity

I just want somebody near me

Guess I'm a coward

I just want to feel alright

- because dreaming costs money, my dear

I once lived in the sea

Bring me to your ear, you can hear

The tide where I used to be

Though now I'm but a shell

- a pearl

Sorry, I don't want your touch

It's not that I don't want you

Sorry, I can't take your touch

It's just that I fell in love with a war

Nobody told me it ended

And it left a pearl in my head

And I roll it around every night

Just to watch it glow

Every night, baby, that's where I go

- real men

Real men keep cool in the face of a fire

Go down with the ship

And real men don't eat

'Cause they're above that, damn it

Oh, I'm gonna be a real man

- crack baby

It's been a long, hard 20 year summer vacation

Both these 20 years tryna fill the void

Crack baby, you don't know what you want

But you know that you had it once

And you know that you want it back

Crack baby, you don't know what you want

But you know that you're needing it

And you know that you need it bad

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #mitski #mitski lyrics #reidfucker

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sweetismyaddiction · 14 hours

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Part 1 | Fic masterlist | Masterlist

SUCROSE

Chapter 2: Sugary

Paring: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word account: 2005

Summary: Where the nicknames came from, how they meet, starts. (They live in the same building, in the same corridor, just in front of one another… which helps the friendship but couldn't stop Dr. Reid from falling in love)

Warnings: Fluff, friends to lovers, anxiety, mentions of menstruation and coffee facts?

A/N: English is not my first language. Reblog, like and comment. I am accepting suggestions for next parts. Please be nice. Past in italic. Gif is not mine, credits to the owner.

Spencer’s point of view

It has been weeks since Morgan met my neighbor and he can’t just drop it aside. At least he has capited a secret so far.

“I am just curious. That 's all. The girl has the key of your place and you never mentioned her.”

“I did talk about her…”

It's a murmur, Morgan almost can't hear it, maybe things were better when no one knew she existed besides me.

“She called you Sugarpout… Does Pretty Boy have a Lady?”

There is mocking in his tone, and a little of happiness.

“What exactly are you asking Morgan?”

“Are you two dating?”

“She is my friend, we ain't dating”

“Oh, pitty, she is beautiful, maybe I should gave a shot, she is very talkative”

“Leave the girl alone Derek.”

“Why? Are you jealous? Worried that I stil her? We could be your couple's best friend. Me and her would make cute babies”

“I am not jealous. Just shut up”

He leaves me be, we take care of paperwork, but he can't stop, it's like I can hear the engineers of his brain thinking.

“Ok, I just really got to know, where Sugarpout came from? I can't stop thinking about that”

“Why? Is just a nickname”

“A special nickname”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Why so much secret?”

The truth is, I don’t really know why, where, when it all started. Is if we have being knowing each other even before we existed.

—----------------------------------------------------------

It was a rainy day, and I was just getting to my building when a strange woman got under my umbrella tugging herself at me.

“My savior. Could you leave me there? To that building?”

Was my building… is she a stalker?

“Sorry for just throwing myself at you. Is just I am made from sugar, so I could have melted with the rain”

Ok, she gots a weird sense of humor. Doesn’t she know about the danger of talking with strangers? That is one of the reasons I get so much work to do. She smells nice though… What am I thinking? Why is she staring at me? Say something Spencer!

“Ahn… yes… I was just going that way too.”

We walk together to the building and she opens the door, almost closing it in my face.

“Sorry. Why are you coming in?”

“I live here”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that. I am a new resident. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too”

She didn’t try to shake my hand… so she respects boundaries and personal space the same way she doesn’t do that? She is so confusing, she seems like a very complex human being.

We both get to the elevator and she presses the button… is my floor button… How I didn’t know about someone moving to my floor? Maybe because I spent the last three days away in a case. The elevator stops and she gets out with me behind her, observing her body language. Wait a minute, that’s… she lives just in front of me.

“Are you following me?”

“Ehn…” she catch me staring, I am probably very red and more awkward then the normal me. “No, no. It's just, we are neighbors, I live here, just across the hall.”

She keeps looking at me, like if she is not sure to believe me or not, just open your damn door Spencer, and prove you ain't lying.

“See?”

“Nice place, very organized…”

When she ends up beside me? Her eyes run across my place, making quick analysis scanning what she can see by the door.

“Ok, I will live you be, sorry for being so intrusive, and thanks for the umbrella ride.”

“You’re welcome. Also, welcome to the building”

She smiles, her smile is pretty.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a nock on my door. Weird, I basically don’t get visited. I open it slowly and there she is the rain day girl, and she has something in hands.

“Hi, I made some cookies, and decided to give you some, since you were so nice to me that day”

“Oh, thanks.” I was very surprised. “You didn’t have to.”

“No problem, it is a pleasure. I hope you like them. It is the classic one, with chocolate drips.”

“It was very thoughtful of you. I really appreciate it.”

I take it from her hands, every time I see her there is that warm feeling, she is always so nice to me.

“How is the moving going?”

“Slow, I'm still putting things in place. The kitchen is almost ready. I am not in a rush to finish it to be honest. Just, baby steps, one day at a time…”

“Well, it is your space, your stuff, it is alright going slow, its you, it should go in your pace”

“Thanks. Well, when you finish the cookies you can return the ball.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

The cookies were the most delicious ones I have eaten in my life. I made sure to compliment her, and the way she smiles and giggles, makes my heart beat faster in my chest.

Today I discovered that I am out of sugar, so why don't I go to the new girl? She made cookies and other delicious stuff she is always happy to share with me, for sure she has sugar.

“Just a cup? Sure Sweetie, I will go grab it for you, make yourself comfortable.”

I shyly enter her house, the first thing that hits me is the smell, I think haven smell exactly like it, I can see she still has a few boxes, but all the essentials are displayed, a kindle, books, a lot of types of books, fantasy, biography, history, classics… she also has a few plants, no much decoration… Why is that hard profile her?

“Here you go, a cup of sugar to my sweet boy”

I asked her sugar a lot of other times after that, just to see her, to feel my blood run in my veins, the fast piece of my heart, the smell invading my nose, that warm feeling.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

“Hi, so, do you have plans for today?”

She was standing outside my door, smiling at me, eyes glowing. How can she always be so beautiful?

“No. I did not plan anything for today.”

“Great. What do you say about taking me to a coffee shop? Any coffee you do like to go. Wanna know more about my neighbor.”

“Hm… Yeah, sure. I will just grab my things”

We go to a nearby coffeehouse and order our drinks while we have small talk.

“I love those cloudy and rainy days, so calm…”

Our orders get to the table and she points out when I drink my full of sugar cup of coffee

“Someone really likes sugar.” She smiles and is like electricity running me. “I can't drink black coffee, it gives me an awful headache.”

“Actually. Caffeine withdrawal could be an important but often overlooked cause of headache.”

She nods in agreement.

“People say that I am just being silly or have an infant paladar. I have tried a lot of types of black coffee, but nothing worked. So i decided just to drink my milk coffee, tha latte”

“Caffeine or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine is totally, actually 99% and rapidly absorbed; it reaches the highest plasma concentrations after 30-60 minutes of ingestion, but this duration can be shorter or longer due to the variation in gastric emptying time. The half-life of caffeine fluctuates between 2.5 and 4.5 hours in young individuals but can be longer in elderly. Caffeine can cross all biological membranes including blood-brain barrier because of its lipophilic character. Only a very small amount of caffeine is excreted in the urine. It is metabolized in the liver, mainly by the cytochrome P450 1A2, to paraxanthine, theobromine, theophylline, and further to urates. Caffeine acts on the brain and the heart by blocking adenosine receptors and inhibiting phosphodiesterase. It is considered the most common psychostimulant, it enhances concentration, improves mood and energy, induces wakefulness, and enhances exercise performance. It can also trigger anxiety, tachycardia, and hypertension. Caffeine is known to cause dependence and withdrawal symptoms such as fatigue and headache.”

Oh, no, no. She is going to think I am such a weirdo now. Couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? Things were good, where nice, and now I ruin it all.

“I have heard that coffee was addictive, but I didn’t know it was absorbed that fast, or that it didn't get expelled out of our body by urine like most of the other drinks. Maybe one of those things causes my headache every time I try to drink black coffee”

“Caffeine also narrows blood vessels that surround the brain. That is its link to headache. In some types of headaches, the blood vessels in the brain dilate, or swell. They expand into the surrounding tissues, which triggers pain.”

Why can’t I shut my mouth, she is lookin at me. She will avoid me like the plague. Why am I like that? Can’t have anything nice, ever! It is like I can’t stop, and she does not stop me, so I just keep rumbling.

“Headaches in general are a common problem for reproductive age women. Migraine headaches are 3 times more common in women than men in this age group with the difference believed to be the result of hormonal fluctuations. In women with spontaneous ovulatory cycles, headaches have been documented to occur more frequently immediately before and during the first few days of menses. Approximately half of women with migraine headaches report their occurrence associated with menstruation, with decreasing estradiol levels hypothesized as the etiologic factor. Today's low-dose oral contraceptives all contain the same estrogen component (ethinyl estradiol [EE]) but vary in the progestin component. Until recently, all progestins in OCs, the oral contraceptives (norethindrone, levonorgestrel, desogestrel, and norgestimate) were derivatives of 19-nortestosterone. A novel OC with the progestin drosperinone (DRSP) is not derived from 19-nortestosterone, but instead derived from spironolactone. This DRSP-containing OC has been shown in a large placebo-controlled trial to significantly improve the physical and behavioral symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) attributed to its unique antimineralocorticoid activity. This improvement in symptoms has been attributed to the antimineralocorticoid activity of the spironolactone-derived DRSP. Spironolactone is the only diuretic shown in randomized placebo-controlled trials to improve the behavioral and physical symptoms of PMS. While studies using validated instruments have shown improvement in PMS/PMDD with DRSP-containing OCs, headaches have not been specifically addressed.”

I managed to hold myself for a few seconds and she finally speaks something.

“Are you trying to mansplain my menstruation cycle to me?”

“No, no… that's not it, I was just…”

“It is ok, I believe you”

She smiles, how her chicks don’t hurt with how much she smiles? Why, how is her smile always so captive.

“Spironolactone. I didn’t know about the diuretic in the OCs. It is interesting to know that, I have noticed that when I drink more water my period of blood in the menstrual cycle feels less worse than normally does.”

She… she paid attention, and… interacted? My heart hammers as a symphony in my chest. It seems the whole word is more worm, as if I had been in the cold dark without releasing it until she showed up illuminating everything and involved me with a cozy blanket proofing there is more, what truly could my life be, how good could it be.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

From that day, I knew I was different, happier, she became a constant thought, always making everything better, the world more supportable. I felt the butterflies, the tingling, that stupid and uncontrollable happiness, the craving of being in contact with her, the maximum and anyway I could. It just happened, little by little. With no rush, never.

“Hey, Kid.”

Morgan snaps his fingers in front of my eyes.

“Where did this pretty brain of yours was?”

The teasing again, but we hadn’t had time, JJ passed rushing calling for a case, urgent.

A/N: Did you guys like the dades I insert? I had to read a few articles, I have the links, they will be right below. Thanks for the support. If you like the little facts let me know so then maybe I will bring more (cause in my opinion is a very Spencer Reid thing to do, talk about the facts.)

Links:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1663116/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1051227621000339

https://www.uclahealth.org/news/caffeine-connection-between-coffee-and-headaches#:~:text=Caffeine%20also%20narrows%20blood%20vessels,surrounding%20tissues%2C%20which%20triggers%20pain.

https://headachejournal.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1526-4610.2007.00650.x

#criminal minds #criminalminds #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfic

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6rookie-writer0110 · 2 days

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The night when these stars sigh

Joel Miller x Male Reader

Request - pedro pascal characters but if u do i was wondering if i could request a male reader x the mandalorian or joel miller (up to you) that’s based on the song open arms (solo version) by sza. the request wouldn’t be a song fic it would just be the story the song is telling.

•

if u follow the song exactly it’s mostly angsty but u can do whatever u want with the request, fluff, smut, etc. i don’t mind. thank u any way 🫶

You and Joel started dating three years ago, and you and Joel fell for each other fast. You never had strong feelings for anyone before and you opened up to him and told stuff about yourself that you never told anyone. Joel did open up to you and he felt happy when you were next to him. You and Joel always spend time together, learning everything about each other then you and Joel say those three words to each other.

You and Joel went to the cabin in the woods for the weekend. But you notice he is acting strange again, but you ignore the signs because you are in love. He isn't affectionate like before, but you figured he was having an off day. You sit next to him and hold his hand but seconds later he gets up and moves and you don't say anything. You watch him go outside towards the lake. Joel wanted to say something but hesitated to tell you. He doesn't know how to start the conversation and he just becomes more distant.

Hours later, Joel did notice you stopped being affectionate with him.

“Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about it,” You said.

“Nothing is bothering me, Y/N,” Joel said.

“Joel, I know when you are lying but okay we won't talk about it,” You said.

You and Joel know each other very well. During dinner, you and Joel didn't say a word to each other. You went to bed early but he didn't sleep next to you, he fell asleep in the living room.

———-

The next day, you and Joel started to have a good time by the lake. But you didn't mention yesterday because you didn’t want to ruin the moment. Joel kissed you on the lips then you and Joel went into the water.

“Are you having a good time?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, I’m having fun today. What about you? I thought you weren't going to get in the water” You said.

“I changed my mind, Y/N,” Joel said.

“Yeah,” You said.

Later, you and Joel sat on the dock to watch the lake. You wanted to hold his hand but he moved it away and you didn't say anything. Joel feels bad for moving his hand away but he had to do it, he noticed you are acting different around him but he doesn't blame you.

While walking back to the cabin, Joel doesn't walk next to you. He is walking in front of you and you sigh, the good time went away. While at the cabin, you tried to kiss him but he moved away.

“Joel, what is wrong with you?” You asked.

“Y/N, I-”

“Tell me the truth, Joel! You are different around me, why” You said.

“Y/N, we can't be together anymore. You should be with someone else, this won't work between us” Joel said.

“Are you fucking serious? Why did you make me open up to you? Or why say I love you!?” You said.

“I’m sorry, Y/N but this has to end between us. You deserve to be happy with someone else” Joel said.

“We have been together for three years going on four. If you didn't want this then why you didn't leave me alone from the beginning. You knew that I been hurt before in the past. Out of all the people in the world, i didn't expect you to hurt me, Joel Miller” You said.

You are doing everything to hold back your tears, but he did notice your tears. His eyes are watery and he does care about you.

“I thought I could make you happy and give you what you wanted but I can't. I’m sorry for hurting you, Y/N I’m really sorry. But we don't belong together” Joel said.

“Screw you. I fell in love with you but now I see that you never truly loved me. I’m so stupid to actually think someone would truly love me” You said.

“You deserve to be loved -”

“Save it! Don’t give me that fucking speech, how I deserve to be loved. I gave everything of myself to you. And you do this to me after three fucking years!” You yelled.

“Y/N… I’m sorry. I don't want to lose you, I still want you in my life. I want to be your friend” Joel said.

“Go to hell, Joel. I have enough friends” You cried.

You walk away and he doesn't go after you. He heard the bedroom door slam hard and you sat on the bed and cried. Joel sits on the chair and wipes the tears away.

An hour later, you packed your clothes. You take out your cell phone and block his phone number. You struggled to delete every picture of you and him together, but you did it. You sighed and you tried to hold back your tears again. You grab all your clothes and put them in the duffle bag, now you hate yourself for falling in love and opening up to someone. It was your first time falling in love and opening up to someone.

You left through the back door in the kitchen. Joel didn't notice that you left and you didn't bother to say goodbye. You walked towards the highway and a stranger gave you a ride to the bus station. Joel gets and heads upstairs and he doesn't see you. He started to look for by the lake then back to the cabin and he cried again. Now he knows that he lost you forever and you would never forgive him.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

Joel hasn't seen you since that day at the cabin. He did search for you but he had no luck finding you. He just wants to make sure you are okay and he felt sad when you blocked his phone number. You and Joel don't have the same friends and he went to your apartment, but the landlord told him that you moved away. But he started to panic because there was a post-outbreak virus in town and everywhere else. He is hoping that you are safe and he starts to wish, that he could contact you.

#joel miller x male reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #x male reader #male!reader #male reader #male reader fanfic #male reader insert #the last of us imagine

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