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navree · 1 year

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the misfortune of house of the dragon brainrot is that i remember shit from game of thrones and then i get mad and i was recently reminded of “robert’s rebellion was built on a lie” which makes me so unambiguously furious i’m finally gonna crack down and enumerate that fury to the rest of the populace in what may be my longest ramble to date.

so, first things first, i’m gonna be so very brave and ignore the emotions and everything behind rhaegar running off with lyanna, ignore the skeeviness of this man in his midtwenties pursuing a young teenager and the skeeviness of doing it while married and how much of a dick fucking move that is to do to elia who didn’t deserve any of that from her shit husband, ignore whether or not rhaegar and lyanna were in love or if it was kidnapping or whatever, because that’s not important.

what’s important is that the crown prince, the heir to the throne, next in line to the seat of power, committed an egregious offense against three major political powers. the foundational building block of robert’s rebellion isn’t about whether or not rhaegar and lyanna were “in love”, it’s about how rhaegar insulted house stark by taking a member of their family into custody in a way that puts her reputation at risk, he insulted house baratheon by taking someone who had been promised to a baratheon (it sounds awful to phrase it like that but this is how it would be seen in westerosi society), and he grievously insulted house martell by publicly shaming and humiliating a martell princess in a deeply embarrassing way. robert’s rebellion is built on rhaegar looking at his house’s allies and friends and essentially spitting on their faces.

and even then, that’s not what kicks off robert’s rebellion. what the rhaegar and lyanna situation does is kick off the starks going to the crown, to the legal head of the country, and wanting the situation dealt with. brandon, though somewhat brashly, is well within his rights to go to his king and say that he and his family have been dealt a grievous offense and that it needs to be addressed and rectified in some way. aerys’s response to that is to kill two members of that family, brandon and rickard, in an unseemly and brutal way, all for using the proper channels available to them to try and find a way to address a problem, an insult being done to them and their family, and then after aerys murders them for it because the idea happens to offend him, because he’s nuts, he then demands that two people who haven’t done anything at all yet, another stark son and lyanna’s baratheon fiancé, be handed over to him to also be executed.

what happens to brandon and rickard isn’t the only thing that’s seen as morally bankrupt in the eyes of westeros, it’s also aerys ordering that jon arryn break faith and hand over two teenagers who haven’t done anything or started any conflict themselves because they are also part of the wronged parties from his own son’s apparent fuck up. that is what causes jon arryn to summon his banners. that is what robert’s rebellion was built on, aerys’s actions following rhaegar’s. because aerys has, in modern parlance, broken the social contract (for anyone who isn’t as big a dork as i am about historical politics, the social contract is a theory/model that argues that individuals consent to be ruled by an authority and trade away certain freedoms in exchange for the remainder of those rights being protected in a safe and maintained social order, and that when a ruler breaks that promise by becoming too despotic or creating a breakdown in the social order, the populace is no longer beholden to uphold their end as well in consenting to be governed).

now, westeros doesn’t have a solid concept of the social contract because that’s something that only became a talked about thing during our age of enlightenment (mid 1600s to early 1800s AD) it’s a pseudo-medieval society, roughly equivalent to, like, the 800s AD (given that the doom of valyria is meant to be this world’s equivalent to the fall of the roman empire, which happened in 400 AD, while the doom happens about 400 years before the events of asoiaf). but there’s clearly some element of “we will allow ourselves to submit to your rule on the condition that you be good to us as a ruler, or else we will no longer allow said rule”, because that’s the entire basis for northern independence in the main books. the northerners believe that joffrey, in executing ned so suddenly and unceremoniously, on what are largely viewed to be trumped up charges, has broken the baratheon line’s social contract with the north, and thus do not need to uphold their own end of the contract, thereby declaring rebellion and fighting against that regime. and that’s what happens with robert’s rebellion. the arryns, starks, and baratheons have decided that, through the actions of it’s head (aerys) and it’s second in command (rhaegar), house targaryen has broken it’s side of the social contract, which means they no longer have to consent to be ruled by house targaryen, and will fight against house targaryen’s actions against them at that point.

robert’s rebellion was not, and never had been, built on the idea that lyanna wasn’t in love with rhaegar. that might have been robert’s own personal motivation, but that didn’t factor into the rebellion at large. robert’s rebellion was built on the really bad decisions made by prominent political actors in westeros, and how everyone responded to them. the main issue was that a group of powerful people saw that the other side of the social contract had violated that contract, decided to react, then everyone else chose sides based on who they supported in that decision and promptly duked it out for a year until one side ultimately won.

and man does that one line really encapsulate that season 8 gets the brunt of the backlash for being unbearably awful but basically everything that happened from them taking main control away from the books onward was just the height of stupidity, in every way.

#personal #asoiaf #anti game of thrones #i should have a tag for the specific moments when i write mini essays on here about shit i know none of you care about #but yeah i despise that line fuck that line #like whether or not the fifteen year old and the 25 married guy were in deep unconditional love doesn't matter #(even tho rhaegar is a huge asshole and elia should be allowed to hit him with a hammer)#(and then lyanna can borrow the hammer for robert who also sucks and will always suck but that's not the point here)#robert's rebellion started when aerys acted like a monster and essentially made the executions of brandon and rickard #the straw that broke the camel's back #also rhaegar's an idiot for knowing for a while at that point that his dad is unfit to rule and not doing anything about it #but that's it's own thing #really aerys and rhaegar are a textbook example of how birthright monarchy is just a giant fucking scam

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sleepymccoy · 4 years

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Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1 Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair). I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh) but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride) but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

#demon!aziraphale #reverse omens #sleepy speaks #fandom vote #aziraphale's demon aspect #this was so fucking fun you all

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notsoguiltykpop · 4 years

Text

The Tenth Floor: Prologue

This is part 1 of this ridiculous little mini-series

A/N If you’ve ever wondered why Jungkook gave up being a pediatric doctor to work for Yoongi, or why Yoongi lets Jungkook get away with so much in comparison to everyone else, you might enjoy this mini series.

Jungkook and Yoongi go way back, but they’re not always friends. Years before The Tenth Floor, Jungkook was a struggling Medical student and Yoongi was the heir to a company he didn’t want. And for some reason, they just keep running into each other.

---

Jungkook was good at school–not that he’d ever tell anyone. He had a reputation to keep up, after all. He’d realized in his freshman year of college that he couldn’t be the “hot, aloof, distant playboy” if he was also the nerd who was at the top of his class. No one would take him seriously if he was both, plus everyone asked him to do their homework.

So he chose the uncaring playboy and stuck to it. For graduation, he conveniently “forgot” to order the special cap and gown that would allow him to sit with the other honors students. Not that he’d stayed for the ceremony anyway; he’d been invited to a sorority party celebrating all the people who had flunked their last classes and had to stay an extra year, and who was he to refuse?

It was there he’d first met Min Yoongi.

He looked entirely out of place–not because of what he was wearing (a plain t-shirt with an equally boring jacket thrown over it) or how he styled his mint green hair. It was more the way he was standing, holding a red solo cup slightly away from him as though he didn’t want anyone thinking it was his, and looking around himself with wide, mildly horrified eyes.

Jungkook was on the porch because he’d been up all night writing essays for scholarship applications and the thumping music was giving him a headache. The excuse he gave his friends, though, was that he was in search of beer.

It was then that he’d actually payed any attention to Yoongi, because the latter was trying to hold his drink and light a cigarette without putting down his cellphone.

“Come on, man, ew,” Jungkook muttered. The porch wasn’t that big, and Jungkook didn’t want to have to go back inside just yet.

The other man glanced up from what he was doing to give Jungkook a dubious look.

“What?” He asked, nearly dropping first his phone, and then his drink as he continued trying to light the offending object.

“Don’t ‘what’ me, you know,” Jungkook grumbled, learning back to prop his elbows on the railing. “Even if you don’t care about ruining my fresh air, you should know you’re also ruining your night.”

“Am I?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow, amused. He set down his drink finally, getting frustrated with his lack of coordination.

“Mhm,” Jungkook nodded. “No one wants to kiss an ash tray. You’re going home alone, my friend.”

Yoongi’s jaw dropped just enough for the cigarette to fall from his lips. “You’re making some bold assumptions.”

“About you tasting like an ash tray?” Jungkook smirked. “Because I’m actually pretty sure I’m right about that.”

“I–who,” Yoongi sputtered for a moment, then paused to collect himself. “Who do you think you are?”

“That’s quite an existential question to ask someone you’ve just met…” Jungkook shrugged, highly amused now. “But I suppose I don’t know who I am. I mean, do any of us really know? Maybe this is all just a simulation…” Yoongi looked more irritated by the word, and Jungkook decided he’d gone far enough with his joke. “My name is Jungkook, though. And you are…?”

“Min Yoongi.” Was the dry response.

“As in, heir to the Min empire, Yoongi?” Jungkook’s interest was suddenly piqued. “What the hell are you doing here?”

This wasn’t the sort of school for heirs to attend, let alone the kind of party.

“It’s… A long story,” Yoongi began to fidget, then pulled the box of cigarettes back out of his pocket to pull a new one out. Jungkook didn’t hesitate to pluck the box from his hands and chuck it into trashcan by the door.

“I’m not listening to a long story while inhaling second-hand smoke,” He said simply when Yoongi blinked in surprise. “I’m pre-med, have to set an example…” The older of the two looked like he wanted to argue, but they both knew Yoongi wasn’t going to fish the box out of a trashcan full of vomit and beer bottles. It was done, and no amount of yelling would fix it.

“I came to apologize to someone,” Yoongi muttered after a moment. “I haven’t been fair–I haven’t…” He didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it, so much as he couldn’t stand not to talk about it for another minute and Jungkook just happened to be standing there. “I’ve been treating them like shit and I’ve–I’ve been an ass.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “So go apologize.”

“No.” Yoongi looked rather panicked by the idea.

“You know you’re wrong. So go in there, find your person, and say sorry like an adult, it’s not that hard.” He wasn’t sure why he cared, but Yoongi clearly needed a bit of a push. “Go on.” Jungkook made a shooing motion with his hands that Yoongi, judging by his answering glare, didn’t appreciate.

“I’ll go. Just… Not right now,” Yoongi said, determination in his voice.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Yes, right now. Come on, you’ll feel better once it’s over with.” Jungkook stood up straight, putting an arm over Yoongi’s shoulders. “I’ll even go with you if you want.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Yoongi said, but didn’t argue further.

They had to walk slowly through the crowded house since they weren’t in single-file. Yoongi didn’t offer any specifics about who they were looking for, so Jungkook wasn’t much help in that department. But he did keep Yoongi moving at least–until they got to the stairs. A couple was making out on them, blocking anyone who wanted to get passed.

Yoongi had stopped dead in his tracks, stiffening noticeably. Jungkook glanced from Yoongi to where his glare was on the couple.

“Yoongi, maybe we should go back outside, actually…” He regretted getting involved instantly. Relationships were far too messy for his liking, even when they were someone else’s.

Yoongi was ignoring him, though. “Dude,” He lightly kicked the guy on the stairs’s foot to get his attention over the music. “You stole my girlfriend?”

It was only years later that Jungkook would realize that the man he was talking to was Taehyung.

“Ohmygod, Yoongi,” The woman was the first of the two to speak. “Hey… I uh, I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

But Yoongi didn’t seem angry at her. His incredulous glare was aimed solely at Taehyung.

Taehyung’s eyes were wide, and he sat frozen. “Yoongi, I thought you two were over…And what are you even doing here?”

Yoongi shook his head. “No. You know what? Screw you.” Yoongi started to turn and ran into Jungkook. “Screw you, too.” He snapped, pushing him out of the way to storm out of the building.

Taehyung blinked as though he wasn’t sure what just happened, and the woman cleared her throat awkwardly.

“See?” Jungkook said to no one in particular. “This is why relationships are bullshit.”

---

A/N Thank you for reading! I couldn’t decide if I should tag people who want to be tagged in TTF updates since this isn’t technically moving the story along (although this will likely explain a few things). Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in the next part! This will either be a two or three part thing--really it’s just a series of drabbles about how they ended up where they are now.

#the tenth floor #yoongi scenarios #jungkook scenarios #yoongi fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts crack fic #jungkook crack #yoongi crack

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bookenders · 5 years

Text

Cutting Down the House

I talk with a lot of novelists, and when I mention I’m a short story writer, most, if not all of them, say the same thing:

“I don’t know how you can write something so short! That takes real skill.”

Like, sure. But long form is, in my opinion, a lot harder. How you can write something so LONG? How do you fill all that space? Where do you find all those words??

But I’m not here to fawn over novelists (again). I’m here to help y’all figure out how to cut, green, trim, and slim down your prose. I’m talking short stories, flash fiction, micro fiction, and other short stacks.

(I have an obvious bias for short stories because that’s what I do the most.)

Here’s How I Write Short Fiction:

[Under the cut, because long post is looong.]

Let’s Begin

What kind of stories are short stories?

Shorts are somewhere between 1,000-10,000 words on average, less than that is Flash. You’ll see a lot of disagreement on how long a short story can be, but I recommend capping it around 10,000. [NOTE: Most literary magazines only accept less than 10,000/8,000/5,000 word stories. It varies.]

I usually put the short story cap at around 20 pages because one time someone turned in a 30+ page story in a workshop out of spite and everyone was very salty about it.

In a more vague sense, any story can be a short story. It’s all about how you tell it. I mean, I’d pay good money to see someone shorten The Epic of Gilgamesh into a short story and make it good, but you get what I’m saying. I’ve read fairy tales, war stories, romances, holiday fluff, deadbeat father stories, midlife crisis tales, murders, you name it. If you can think it, you can do it.

The trick of the trade lies in -

Construction

How do you structure a short story?

You don’t have a lot of space, so, like poetry, you gotta make it count.

[Actually, I recommend trying out writing some poetry, or using it as a warm-up of some kind. Learn some poetic devices because that stuff is crazy helpful. I’m constantly thanking my English teachers and that one poetry class I took for teaching me how to be succinct.]

You don’t have the time to expand everything like you might in a novel. So you gotta whittle down your plot to a few basic steps. Just like an essay. (Eugh.)

I think of short stories as mini arcs. If you are a long form guru, try to think of a short like a single scene. If you’re doing scenes right, that means that each one has its own arc. Beginning, middle, end, emotional change, ending on a positive, negative, or neutral as long as it’s different from where it starts, the works. But a whole lot more localized and focused.

In my mind, a mini arc goes like this (and keep in mind, my stories are usually single location, limited cast, dialogue light, and interiority heavy):

The protagonist is in a place (physical and/or emotional) that can be changed and will change. This is your opening paragraph(s) / first page (if you’re writing a longer story, or your structure is a slow start for pacing). Start answering questions: who are they, what do they want, why can’t they get it?

Inciting incident occurs. This, ideally, happens in the first or second paragraph, no later than the end of the first page. Or before the story and is mentioned as early as possible. In short: it should happen early. A skilled writer can even throw it in the first sentence.

Rising action is as tight as you can get it. It’s more of an approach than a rise, in my opinion. Everything in this part, or these small scenes, leads to the climax and closing - we’re learning about the character(s) and their world, learning what makes them tick and how they think and how the story leads them where they need to go. In my stories, this is the longest part.

The climax point is typically closer to the end than the beginning. Sometimes it’s the last page, last paragraph, or, my personal favorite, the last sentence.

The falling action/denouement is, in my opinion, optional. If the climax happens right at the end of the story, you don’t have much room for it, maybe a sentence or two to close it. Otherwise, this is where you tie a bow around your theme(s) and exit on a mic drop.

While you’re planning your arc, keep an eye out for connective tissue, or threads. If you bring back a detail you mention early on when you’re writing the end, it’ll look like you knew what you were doing the entire time.

The fancy term for this kind of thing is rhyming action. Charles Baxter has a fantastic essay about it (I’ll link to it in the reblog). I highly recommend reading it. Here’s an excerpt that hits the point home:

“...the man... is suddenly struck with what we sometimes call déjà vu, which is only an eerie sense of some repetition, of a time spiral, of things having come around back to themselves... The effect is a bit like prophecy, except prophecy run in reverse, so that it cannot be used for purposes of worldly advancement. Prophecy run forward gives the prophet the power of forecasting and a habit of denunciation. Prophecy run backward, into rhyming action or déjà vu, gives the participant a power of understanding.”

It’s one of my favorite tricks, and once you learn it, you’ll start to see it everywhere. It’s the equivalent of a 3-part thesis statement for writers: optional, but a good structural tool to keep around.

Keeping it SS

Short Stories are Short and Sweet.

It’s all about finding a way to say what you want to say in as few words as possible. Show vs tell guidelines come in handy here, but you have to use some good judgment and decide the right moments to show and the right moments to tell.

Think about campfire stories. If they’re describing a car, they probably won’t mention any details unless they’re relevant to the plot or message. Do we care if the car is blue? No, unless the color reminds the protagonist of their ex’s nail polish, or something, and that reminder impacts the story in a significant way.

(Details are like dialogue. They advance the plot, reveal character, and/or provide a complication.)

I once read a character description that went like this: “He was the kind of man to never use two words when one would do.”

Be that man. Get the point across swiftly and succinctly. But also know when to draw a moment out. It’s a lot of back-and-forth with shorts. And, as always, it depends.

Remember: Like snakes, stories have a beginning, middle, and end. Some are tiny, some are a little bit longer. Sometimes they look cyclical. Keep your SS SS. (Get it? Ssss, like hissing? Snakes? 🐍)

What If I Need to Shorten What I Already Have?

There’s a technique called greening that you should reserve until your final draft. Basically, it’s taking out every single word that can be removed without losing any of the meaning. This includes frankensteining sentences together, removing extraneous modifiers, and leaving out that detail you like but has zero impact on anything relevant. It’s hard, it’s very hard, but it’s an amazing skill to have.

There’s a great New Yorker article about it, which I will also link to in the reblog.

Have any specific short story questions?

Shoot me an ask! I’ll do my best to help you out! I write lots of short stories and used to be the fiction editor for a literary magazine, so I’ve got all that juicy editor know-how.

Questions? Ask ‘em! Comments? Make ‘em!

For more writing advice and observations, check out my advice tag.

Like my advice and other writing nonsense? Check out the link to my Ko-Fi in my description!

#writeblr #writing #amwriting #creative writing #writing advice #fiction #short story #short stories #appendix #brainbox #prose #greening #flash fiction #micro fiction #short form #structure #story structure #short fiction

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