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hopefull-mindset · 2 months

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Lately I've been thinking about the current progression of the story, obviously we are nowhere near the ending, however, what are your thoughts towards how the main story is going to end?

Based on what we know so far how do you think what do you think the climax and the resolution the story is going to be? Because so far it seems like it's going to be something related to the book, but there's so many plot points and characters that we haven't even really touched on yet and I'm wondering if we ever will (for example the order of the clock tower was this just a one and done thing or are we getting more on that Asagiri????)

I am SO sorry. I got sick on the weekend I was thinking of answering this. Then I got completely stuck on what I wanted to say because honestly I have no idea where this series is going besides a few things I know Kafka Asagiri wouldn't leave behind. I have faith in him and I feel like him pulling along Nathaniel Hawthorn for this long into the story and knowing when Fitzgerald would have involvement proves he doesn't forget about his previous storylines.

I see complaints sometimes about how Steinback’s side plot with the Guild is never touched on again and it's like?? Because there's already so much going on already?? I'm personally impressed with how Asagiri handles this bunch of characters and that's why I'm not impressed with complaints about the female characters getting “no” screentime. I think some of you really need to reread the manga because, of course, it would feel that way if you needed to split it between all these characters and have a smaller amount of female characters compared to guys.

It's an ongoing story so treat it like an ongoing story. Some criticisms I see of BSD really feel like they're in bad faith and don't give it any grace. To me, that's really depressing. I don't know what some of you even want from him. I'll move on now to your actual question.

This is a character-driven story with hmm, well I shouldn't say it doesn’t have a clear plotline because the antagonists have a clear goal for The Book, but it's not a story where the protagonist is driven to do anything besides overcome himself. I have ideas on what future plotlines would look like, but not all of them.

There are things that are absolutely going to be followed up on. Like how 55 Minutes’s story was left on a mystery to be explored in a future arc. 55 Minutes was very involved in the Great War and Europe, so I’m guessing some of that will be explored in due time. I’m not very good at guessing so I’m not the best to be asked on theorizing that far into the future.

How about I just speak on the present arc? I think that will be easier and it's good to work with the pieces we have. The ending is much too far into the future for me to come up with anything, really. This series is much too technical with its reference and motivations to say anything other than, “We should expect this stuff in the light novels to play into the story later.”

Since I gave myself some time to think this over, there are some things I am completely sure of having a critical role in the present and future of this story—besides the obvious lasting effects of the Great War and the storm Verlaine mentioned waiting for very much having to do with the Clock Tower’s eventual involvement.

I’ve been thinking about them a lot and I hadn’t realized this was my chance until now! So exciting! I mean these two tend to cross over for me.

55 Minutes is the 4th light novel in this series. Anyone who has read it loves it because of the focus on world building and getting to follow Atsushi for once in novel form. I went into it thinking that it was going to be a quick, self-contained story that happens a bit after the guild arc, but I was shocked to see that there were so many questions unanswered! On purpose obviously to set up a plot line for the future, but man.

While I am excited for many things from the light novels to be answered in the main story, I want to bring attention to the main antagonist. The living ability of Jules Gabriel Verne AKA Gab. Verne was a part of The Seven Traitors, a group that committed itself to stopping the war by any means necessary. They were what the Armed Detective Agency is to Atsushi for him. His ability (The Mysterious Island) absorbed other users’ abilities, so long as they were on an island he claimed as his domain.

By the time the war had ended, he was alone again and the rest of the members were either dead and disappeared. Verne decided to stay and maintain the Standard Island so his friends had a place to come back to. Fourteen years pass and a deadly weapon called Annihilation and it's maker, H.G. Wells, came onto the island. Annihilation had been stolen from her and Verne agreed to help her get it back from the terrorists under the name “Gab”. The terrorist in question being the colonel, not to be confused with the character of the same title who was an executive to the Port Mafia.

This colonel had actually been the former leader of the group who had called themselves Mimic after being abandoned by their country and had heard his men drifted to Yokohama, only to die there in vain. I wonder if that connects to anything that happened in another light novel, wink wink.

It wasn’t hard for Verne to find where it was hidden, but next he had to come up with a way to get it back without using his ability. He decided to join the thieves that had snuck onto the island by turning himself into a teenager and asking to be the pupil of the boss so he could borrow his ability to go through walls. It had worked as planned, until Wells was hit by a stray bullet and died. He was devastated that he couldn't save this one woman.

His solution to save her was to absorb her ability (Time Machine) to go back 55 minutes in time to reverse what had happened. That worked, but then he thought of another thing: if he absorbed her ability again, couldn't he go further back in time to get a better result? Wells’s ability has the condition that it could only send a person back in time once, but by absorbing it again, he can ignore it as if he were using it for the first time. He regretted how many of the colonel's soldiers had died and he never learned his motivations in the end.

He was right, but creating the perfect future is almost impossible because of how someone always gets hurt in the process. Every time he succeeded, there was only the “what if?” hanging over him that this wasn't enough. The more he used the ability, the further he could go into the past. Even larger ideas had come into his head. What if he could reunite with his friends? What if he could prevent the entire war from happening? He hadn't realized just as Wells's ability evolved, something else would too: Gab, the island and the boy he posed as.

It overtook him and left to reside inside his own flesh as an echo of his own self, at the very corner of his mind. He died and Gab had been birthed from it. Gab is an unstable creation and even so, his humanity still urges him to keep living no matter what. So instead of being motivated to repeat time to save others, he keeps living to save himself so he doesn't fall back into the darkness of an unknown waiting for him.

I could keep going and talk about how he's pretty much the embodiment of the themes present in BSD, his resemblance to Atsushi that the narrative points out so graciously, and the nature of what he is supposed to be in the grand scheme of BSD, but this isn't why I brought him up.

55 Minutes has aspects that have appeared in the main story ever since the Decay of Angels have taken their place in the manga as antagonists. Dazai’s ability to control his heartbeat, time travel, Akutagawa calling Atsushi his “trial” and fighting out at sea, and the Great War being the source of the conflict. Now what if I propose my idea of what had happened to Fukuchi to be similar to what had happened to Verne when he had used Wells’s ability?

This is Fukuchi’s corpse reanimated, I think we all know it. While it’s possible Fyodor must've put a safeguard to put the condition for this to have happened or that this is a Fukuchi from another universe, I think what had happened altogether, in the end, was the consequence of using Amenogozen so freely to the point he was messing with the state of the timeline and creating paradoxes. The backlash of this divine blade had either created a divine being or let one reside in him.

It's not only 55 Minutes that has parallels/foreshadows what's to come, but Untold Origins as well. I do like noticing how Kafka Asagiri adds things so they fit more snuggly into what's to come later in the season or make the connection more obvious, like Fukuchi having a feature when Fukuzawa is visiting Oda behind bars and Fyodor appearing on the roof when Fukuzawa monologues about “V”.

I think I've been seeing some people notice this too, but I think the play featured is incredibly important. Like really, really important. I mean beyond any resemblance people saw in the visuals used in the anime background that looked like Fyodor being crucified. I feel unprepared to talk about it, so I hope I make some sort of sense.

“The Living World Is a Dream. The Nocturnal Dream is Reality” is a real quote from Ranpo Edogawa and is used as the name for this play. Twelve fallen angels gather in an old theater to earn god’s forgiveness. They had disobeyed god in the past by wanting to coexist with human beings and were shunned after the fact. During this, they are killed off one by one without the killer ever being seen. The killer, as the script follows, is a supposed angel of judgment, but it's hard to tell for the others if it really was an angel imparting their judgment or a serial killer because of how common the methods seemed to be. That is their mystery to be solved.

One of the fallen angels claims that an angel would use a divine blade to purge them and not methods like these, while another begs the question of why a fellow sinner would go after them and that an angel would have a real motive to have them killed. Their reason to going to this old theater is because they were searching for an ability user. In this fictionalized story, ability users are angels who had fallen but were able to atone and given a portion of their power back. Their hope is that when they encounter the ability user, they will gain atonement as well.

Suddenly, Murakami (the lead performer) is stabbed by a blade that came from nowhere. Completing the promised threat of an organization named “V”:

“An angel shall bring death, in the truest sense of the word, to the performer.”

So, what happened?

As he takes his newfound identity as an “ability user” in pride on stage and claims himself to be the savior of all, Ranpo explains that the angel that the play refers to is the audience watching it. A metaphor to how the audience is invisible to the characters on stage and knew almost every that had happened, but Ranpo also says that because the audience couldn't have laid a finger on the them, it means the angel couldn't have been the killer.

The “angel” was more the victim than anything and the so-called judgment imposed was the show of what was originally regarded as another victim. The switching of roles. The same thing has also applied to this murder. While Murakami was regarded the victim, the accused killer the police suspected was a man under a fake name who has randomly disappeared. Tied up behind the currents, the man had been here all along. The true victim of this case.

Which makes Murakami the real culprit of his own “murder”, but he's only a piece of the picture. After getting arrested, he speaks about how he had planned with the playwright about this but has no clue what capturing the older man was for. Not even after saying this, a detective rushes in saying that the playwright had been impaled with no weapon to be found.

Again, after an officer who had worked for the mysterious group “V” and tried to kill Ranpo after refusing to join them had been arrested, he was also killed the same way as the playwright. I feel like I don't even need to say that this “V” group is obviously the Decay of Angels after laying that out. The same motivations as Fyodor (”rid all evil of this world”) and the sword business is Fukuchi silencing people.

What was the purpose of the play though?

Besides capturing Natsume Soseki (if you haven't read it), it was foreshadowing for what was to come. Let's abandon the idea that skill users are redeemed angels for a second. Just a second, I promise. Have you ever looked up what Kaumi (神威) even means?

While one of the first results you get will refer you to gods themselves, you should be focusing on a more literal translation. That being “God’s Authority” or greater divine power, making Fukuchi function basically as Fyodor’s own angel of judgment. Let's say that ability users are the sinners and Fukuchi (or Fyodor) is the one imposing their judgment, even if they should've been in the same boat.

Just like the play, they swap the victim (Armed Detective Agency) and the killer (The Decay of Angels) for the public‘s unknowing view. This play is filled with Fyodor’s personal bias and I think the irony of their searching for the “ability user” in the play is that to Fyodor, there's no such thing as a redeemed ability user. There is only salvation of death for this great evil and that is exactly what happens to the characters from the play.

Ranpo filps this narrative on its head and forcefully changes the ending of the fallen angel. He wasn't a part of the story, he forcefully shoved through its bullcrap to create something much more ideal. Something much less miserable. It's a little fun that two people he goes out of his way to help out (Yosano & Mushitaro) both have the title of “angel of death/murder” as that's how the angel of the play is also referred to. Save the killer that was actually a victim…

With that, I really shouldn't abandon how ability users get referred to with titles like angel and demon right? Chuuya had an angelic allusion in Storm Bringer when he activated corruption for the first time, and hell, look at my buddy Gab and his mechanical wings. The further they transcend themselves of their humanity, the more angelic or demonic they become. There really is no true difference between them though.

This should've been about the trajectory of bsd…. Then it became me wanting to talk about DOA crap….

Well, I really don't know much. I connected dots that were there for me, but nothing to say for the future of BSD. I understand what is happening, but not enough to be psychic haha. I mostly went on about that because I didn't want our conversation about what is currently happening to be pushed aside because there's always more to say. Maybe if I read more of the authors involved, maybe I'd know.

If this is disappointing, oh well! It has taken me so long to think of something to say that the new chapter has already come out. Kafka Assgiri always leaves me with more questions than answers.

What even are abilities anyway?

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bsd analysis #fukuchi ouchi #bsd fukuchi #bsd 55 minutes #bsd untold origins #ranpo edogawa #bsd fyodor #the decay of angels #i should stop narrating the stories of the novels #i was going to say more #but I'm tired #the best I can say is to think of the questions bsd offers you and reread the series at any chance #you'll get more information each time and come up with more ideas for the future of BSD

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farcille · 2 months

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9 people you'd like to get to know better

tagged by @healen -- omg i am SO sorry i did not see this; I just found your tag from going through my email notifs haha. thank you though this was super fun!!

Three ships:

farcille: like ok iconic as fuck and my username so obviously i have to talk about this one first. dungeon meshi is my favorite manga ever and marcille is my favorite character and i love her relationship with falin so much ;-; i think the plot point of marcille being afraid of losing people she loves due to the difference in how she ages compared to other people is super interesting and adds a really thought-provoking and tragic aspect to their relationship. i also love the difference in their personalities that shapes their dynamic; marcille is extremely neurotic and inside of her own head and "by-the-book" and falin is very in touch with her surroundings and intuitive and accepting of disorder but they're close anyway because the things that make them different are things that they admire about each other. i looove that marcille gets jealous of other people showing falin attention and that shes insane about saving her and that she would do anything to get her back. they get married in my head after the end of the manga

jaime/brienne: i've been so into rereading asoiaf lately and this has been on my mind nonstop. the dynamic of like this super big/strong very gender nonconforming ugly woman whos internally very kind and empathetic and has one of the strongest moral compasses of anyone in the series but struggles internally with her self image and her perceived inability to "fit in" anywhere due to misogyny and general cruelty and societal prejudice over her looks and like the antihero privileged evil prettyboy who seems to have everything granted by society that brienne doesn't at the beginning of the series but goes through a dramatic character shift after losing his ability to physically fight and is not actually quite as evil as you're initially led to believe but has become disillusioned and morally dark due to contempt and judgement and expectations from people in his life is kinda unmatched like no one was doing narratives about social expectations like them. the way that both of their character arcs rely on what they learn from each other about honor and judgement and what it means to be a "true knight" is also my fave. in my head where theres a universe where asoiaf is finished they finally confess their feelings 4 each other

doctor/master: haha ok time to be cringe and post doctor who on main again. but like hear me out this ship was so iconic LIKE they are the last 2 living members of their species they're childhood friends they know each other better than anyone in the universe they've known each other for 900 years but they are doomed to be mortal enemies forever because of a fundamental difference in their respective ideologies and who they are as people. like they love each other they hate each other they have to kill each other they have to save each other its so . mwah (im doing the cheff kiss gesture rn) my only criticism of it is that there's never been a f/f iteration of it that could definitely exist it's just that the dw writers hate women so it hasn't happened in the like 60 years of this show running but it exists in my mind

First ever ship: rosemary from homestuck 😭 i think they were the first pairing that i ever looked up fanfiction for when i was but a child. i still love them btw and they're still my favorite homestuck characters their dry humor and the way they bounce off of each other in their pesterlogs is still something i adore

Last song: ignorance by paramore!!!

Currently reading: ........................asoiaf...

Currently watching: game of thrones with my buddy april. we are suffering together

Currently consuming: a latte from the nearby coffee shop i like to go to on the weekends!!

Currently craving: hmm maybe sushi, I haven't had it in a long while

not tagging anyone but thanks for reading if u got this far <3333

#yeah i took this as an excuse to write paragraphs about ships i like what about it #something something text post tag

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orcelito · 8 days

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reread enough of trimax i think ive got the important things down. i only read through volume 1 of trimax, which is So much slower than i was expecting it to be (shoutout to when i first got my bootleg prints of the manga & hyperfocus skimmed the Entire manga in 7 hours), but it mustve been the level of attention i was paying to details

which was the point. the primary thing I wanted to get a feel for was wolfwood's presence & mannerisms, and also the way wolfwood and vash interact together in the early manga. im of course very familiar with their relationship, but existing in fandom spaces for so long can muddy what the actual canon relationship is in my mind. add in the fact that i havent actually read the manga in over a year (so the animes' characterizations were more present in my mind), & it's clear i was due for a reread. ITNL is a trimax fic first and foremost, after all, even if it does draw some elements from the animes.

so ! im going to start reviewing the existing written ITNL chapters. probably not reading everything entirely in depth, bc there's plenty that's not relevant to the current chapter, & my primary focus is preparing myself for writing the chapter. i dont have the time to reread the fic in full, however much i'd enjoy that, so. by the end of tomorrow, im going to review the fic enough to begin writing by thursday at the latest.

will that be enough time for me to actually finish the chapter by monday? considering it's my birthday weekend and i'll be pretty busy, who's to say? but im gonna try. and in the end, it's thankfully just 3 pretty simple scenes. a downtime chapter. Just Talking. so if i can get in the right brainstate for it, it's fully feasible for me to accomplish

that, of course, is the hardest part. writing brain is a fickle mistress, after all. but i will do my best. i really do want to have ITNL chapter 19 out by my birthday.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #at the same time im not going to sacrifice enjoying my birthday weekend for it.#so if it comes down to it maybe it wont be out by the 13th #but even then. i'll have started working on it. so it wouldnt be too much longer either way.#but it's about the principle of it. ive managed a birthday chapter every year for the past 3 years. im gonna do it again #.......im gonna try lol. writing has been hard lately.#but im hoping upon rereading ITNL my brain will wanna see its continuation enough that writing wont be too much of a struggle #crossing fingers!!!!!!!!! wish me luck

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quickdeaths · 2 months

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【ME & 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗜'𝗗 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥】

- ALIAS / NAME: Bryn, Ya Girl, Hey You

- BIRTHDAY: March 20

- ZODIAC SIGN: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pisces/aries cusp but I will be honest I don't know much about astrology - I consider it harmless fun but it is harmless fun that I do not participate in, feel free to drag my ass because that's EXACTLY what a pisces/aries/pisces-aries would say

- HEIGHT: 5'11

- HOBBIES: Reading, writing, video games, dungeons and dragons/other TTRPGs, hanging out with the fam and/or the squad, watching tv sometimes when I can get the adhd to be quiet and focus on something. I like studying, too, to a point, and I would like to get back to like Working On A Skill in some way. Maybe polishing up my Japanese back to where it was when I lived abroad?

- FAVORITE COLOR: I say purple, which is kind of true, but actually a like, darker blue purple, like an indigo.

- FAVORITE BOOK: I'm annoyingly that girl you went to school with who loved all the books that they made you read. If there is a classic novel from like, 1800-1960 that they made you read in school, I like it, probably. I would also say, when I was in high school, which probably was (along with college) the time that I read most for pleasure, as well, I was really emotionally affected by Ned Vizzini's It's Kind of a Funny Story, Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World, and Tim O'Brien's Going After Cacciato and considered them faves.

Probably what I would say now though is Imogen Binnie's Nevada. I read it on a flight down to a weekend work retreat, read it on the flight, in the cab, and skipped dinner/informal meeting to read it all in one sitting. It's not an easy book to read, nor a "fun" one in a lot of ways, but I read it over 5 years ago and I think it about it constantly. It feels very raw and honest, and like 10 years after publication, I feel its influence on so much queer literary fiction.

There's also some books of poetry that I hold in high regard. I have Paul Muldoon's Poems: 1968-1998 and Seamus Heaney's Opened Ground, Selected Poems 1966-1996. I also have a story about being in college and writing a capstone essay for a notoriously difficult class where we were supposed to write about a book of poems of our choice. My laptop had broken, so I was confined to one of the shitty computers in the computer lab, and I had been working on the essay about a book of poems I found in our school library for maybe three weeks before the due date, and by happenstance, I ended up reading The Captain Asks for a Show Of Hands by Nick Flynn. I immediately had the thought of "I need to write about this," deleted my entire existing essay, and crunched for basically the entire remaining week to write a new one about Flynn's book instead.

- LAST SONG: I'm not sure what song specifically, but I was listening to the entire album Bon Iver by Bon Iver while writing RP replies earlier. I'm very much a full album girlie most of the time. Before that we've got "POPPY (Japanese Version)" by STAYC, "Champions of Red Wine" by The New Pornographers, "Biohazard" by Momma, and "Star" by LOONA (they're still together I swear here is how LOONA can still win-)

- LAST FILM / SHOW: I started watching the She Loves To Cook, She Loves To Eat live action drama last night. Probably gonna start watching Shogun with my mom soon when I go to have dinner and visit with her? As for movie... I saw Origin with my mom in theaters last month. I thought it was a very creative choice to adapt a nonfiction book into a narrative about the author writing the book, while still managing to incorporate a lot of the themes and content of the book into the film.

- RECENT READS: A lot of manga tbh... I read the She Loves To Cook, She Loves To Eat manga recently, as well as reread My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness after twitter drama thrust it back into my consciousness. I've been meaning to read Dungeon Meshi so probably soon? In terms of non-comic books, I read this nonfiction book called The Digital Closet: How The Internet Became Straight by Alexander Monea recently that was very engaging! In short, it's a dissection of the way that the American government's attempts to regulate and censor the internet (for a variety of reasons) have had the knock-on effect of things like age-gating even non-sexual queer content on youtube, or social media algorithms burying queer posts. I'm slowly working through Mostly Dead Things by Kristen Arnett, which is about a woman trying to hold things together and run her family's taxidermy shop after her father's sudden death. It's weird, but good. It's probably also time for my annual(ish...) reread of Stephen King's On Writing, too.

- STORY BEHIND URL: It's a Maki quote! Her and Shuichi are talking about Tenko's death, and Shuichi says something about Maki's insight coming from experience, and she responds, "Of course. Quick deaths are my specialty."

- FUN FACT ABOUT ME: I used to be an elementary school English teacher in Japan, probably everyone knows this by now, but it is my funnest fact. I used to be a decently good soccer player and I was a pretty high-ranked doubles tennis player in my middle school district district for a little while (my partner carried me but still!) I honestly spend WAY too much time doing D&D prep - I spent basically the entirety of summer 2021 rewriting the entirety of the Curse of Strahd published D&D adventure to fit my preferences, and that of my players, complete with new characters/maps/statblocks/items/plot points/etc. Before the campaign had even started, I had absolutely dumped probably 100+ hours into it.

TAGGED BY: @more-than-a-princess the bestie thank youuu

TAGGING: @lunaetis @hopeds @honoosenshi @amoriscustos @wouldhope and you!

#dash memes

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subdee · 6 months

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Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul thanks again munen!

I will tag: @nangke @syncopatedid @autumnxsunflower @trashsketch @applepi00 @mariposahxh. Only if you want to!

Favourite colour: these days, purple

Last song: Replacements - Answering Machine. Unless you count the baby music that plays from the baby toys, then it's Itsy Bitsy Spider

Last movie: I said it briefly on here, but it was "Barbarians" on Halloween. I went in blind after seeing it on an online best-of spooky movies list so all I'll say is it was seriously messed up and I still think about MANY of the scenes, especially when I have to go down to the unfinished part of my basement. It's been so long since I've watched a real horror movie (not a parody) that I forgot they can be genuinely disturbing.

...I'll say one more thing, it's a horror movie directed especially at women. I mean it's a horror movie about things that women, more than men, are likely to find upsetting and scary, especially in the beginning.

Other stuff I watched this year: I'm still on my Great British Baking Show kick! Currently on season 8, after the switch from BBC to Chanel 4 and after they changed the presenters. This show is terrible because it just makes me crave sweets - and I always crave sweets when the weather gets colder - and as a rule, there's nothing like that in the house. Like I'll eat some strawberries or part of a cantaloupe or an apple slice with honey because that's the only sweet thing we have. Anyway, I like the new presenters.

Shows I dropped this year/didn't finish: The Marvelous Ms. Maisel. We'll probably get back to it, but it was too hard to watch while also scrolling my phone / making the baby's food for daycare / cleaning the baby bottles / etc. during the one hour of free time I have every night before bed.

Currently reading: the BNHA manga as it releases each week, that's about it.

Currently listening to: the local jazz radio station, the records I have in my house. Carole King - Tapestry was the last one. And Andre 3000's new record with the funny tracknames.

Currently working on: STAINING THE BACK DECK, oh my God we've spent the last three weekends on this. But it needed to be done, it had 30 years of mold on it.

Current obsession: I was gonna say the baby, BUT ACTUALLY. I started watching the Scott Pilgrim anime and I'm four episodes in. The show tricks you into thinking it'll be a rehash of the comic by being a beat-for-beat recreation of the first volume - including the visual gags! - until suddenly, it's completely different LOLOLOL I had to get my comics off the shelves, and reread them to be sure that yeah, no, that's definitely not how it happened before. Gonna avoid the show tags bc spoilers, BUT HERE ARE MY PREDICTIONS:

It's a smart move for the show to switch the metaphor from Scott fighting the evil exes (your new girlfriend has baggage that makes you feel insecure, you have to deal with your insecurity by winning a fistfight against each ex to prove you are worthy of her) to RAMONA fighting the evil exes (you have to deal with your own past and put it behind you before you can move on). Because like, yeah there is a metaphor when Scott fights the exes, but it's an annoying one that centers the feelings of an insecure dude over the feelings of the girl he's dating.

.... though I'll miss the focus on the mundane in the original comic, how much it reminds you that Scott is a loser but he's like, trying to improve. Like you know he's a loser from the jump because he doesn't have a job and he's a mooch and he's dating a high schooler, but briefly you think he might be kinda cool because he picked up Ramona, but then she tells him he has to get a job AND HE CAN'T so you're like... oh. Yeah this guy actually is a loser. But (as Ramona says) perhaps he's a loveable loser? He does keep landing these great girls ...

And we can still do that exact same speculation without Scott on screen, as Ramona learns more about him in the course of her investigations, so that's pretty clever... I wonder if Ramona will actually like him if she ever manages to rescue him :p.

Anyway since this show is now a whodunnit...

As of episode four, vegan boyfriend #3 seems superficially like the person who kidnapped Scott, but it's too early for him to be the real kidnapper.

The next most obvious suspect is Wallace, because it's clear Young Neal didn't actually write the movie script, and only Wallace (probably) knew what Scott said to him that morning, before he went to the party and met Ramona.

Why would Wallace do it? To get Scott out of the apartment and become a movie star, maybe...

But I actually think Wallace is ALSO too way too obvious, and he's being set up as the person you'll suspect all the way up until the final reveal at the end...

I think it's probably Giddeon, in the end, again, actually. Like we know he has all these cameras set up to observe Scott and research him, right? Maybe he noticed Ramona was using his head as a shortcut and started his research early...

Why would Giddeon do it? Maybe part of a ploy to make himself appear sad and pathetic so Ramona will feel sorry for him and he can get close to her to date her again? Maybe he knew Scott would beat all the other ex-boyfriends (as written in the movie script) in a straightforward series of fistfights so he's trying a different approach?

Either way, I doubt the storyline with Giddeon is over. Even if it is, though, I'm really enjoying that this remake throws the original script out, because it's fun to speculate and fun to play spot-the-differences. Like maybe it IS Wallace, you know? Why not!

Though it is a shame that this is no longer a show about being a loser and 'leveling up' your life - the videogame conceipt is more of an aesthetic choice now and less of a thematic metaphor - and about the Canadian indie band scene.

On a final note, I know we're supposed to not like the scrubs - or would he be considered a fuckboy these days? - like Scott, but I always found him pretty relatable, personally. Especially because I was dating a woman when the comic came out, like, the idea that you landed this great girl but you need to fix yourself before you can date her... it resonated. :P

Anyway. Don't tell me how it ends XD I'm too obsessed to not finish this mini-series quickly, but I also only have an hour of free time a night.

#tag game #thanks for the tag <3 #scott pilgrim anime

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crayonkant · 1 year

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I’ve only discovered Yoneda Kou’s work last month and devoured it. I am uneasy with my level of Saezuru obsession. A few more hours until it is morning in Japan…

I wanted to ask the community if there are manga conventions that could help a novice with their interpretation. For example: is the lettering in the original japanese character-specific? Does it matter that sometimes penises are shown and sometimes they are shaded over? Are there set ways of framing the panels that represent different points of view? It’s such a rich medium!

Also. How did you deal being obsessed with this story given its running time? I need a recommendation for something comparably interesting that will allow me to regain some distance from this story… I lasted one week rereading only a chapter a day, and binged-read it twice over the weekend :( Help me regain my sanity you people who have been in my shoes before!

#saezuru feels #twittering birds never fly #saezuru analysis

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jade-efflorescence · 6 months

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Hello, Jade! Sending you a lot of positive vibes! I hope your Friday will go smoothly and without any trouble. I’m excited for another double SxF update weekend (new episode and new chapter)! I’m also planning to do a reread of the manga with friends soon and I’m excited about that too!

Thank you for the positivity! Very much needed haha

Yes, the sxf double updates are so exciting! I love seeing how different the themes and subjects in the manga and anime are when they update at the same time. And a reread with friends sounds very fun! It's like a mini book club when you all get to be excited over a story together.

Thank you for the ask ❤

#jade answers asks

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ofdemonsandangels · 8 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

I love this! Thanks for dropping this in my inbox, I always appreciate doing things like this. I can luckily play this game since I have SIX WHOLE fics published.

say me, wight in the brom

I really love this fic, and it's probably my second favorite fic that I've written at the moment. I feel like I really pushed myself with this fic, especially the premise, which I was very unsure about going about. But it was because of my wonderful beta reader and art inspiration from the amazing @shiroyamaberserk that I was able to pull through and start and finish this fic within the span of a week, the fastest I've ever written a fic. Writing from Locus' pov was really fun and I liked describing Griffith from his perspective, it's something that just gradually came to me that continued to be built as more and more words appeared on my doc.

Take Me to the Poppy Field

This was the second fic I ever wrote so I was coming off the high of publishing my first and diving right into not only a different fandom but a ship with the most minuscule community. Cross Marian is an absolute enigma and it's a miracle that I was able to type up 2.2k words of his pov because having reread the D.Gray-Man manga recently, I can't fathom how I thought that I had the capability of writing from inside his mind. I'm really proud of my dialogue with this fic in particular, I tried really hard to write more dialogue instead of description and for what it is, I think I did good.

Encompassing Lust

Encompassing Lust my beloved, where do I even begin? This was the first fic I ever wrote and the only fic I have so far that has any kind of sexual content. I don't really remember what compelled me to make this fic, only that I was feeling very strongly about Slan and Danann kissing each other because I thought they'd look good together. It took me a while to scrape together something for my fantastic beta reader @beansterpie to work with and even after I published it, I ended up completely revising it three months later because of how unsatisfied I was. I was able to develop a much stronger voice for Dannan during that time and I changed her and Slan's interactions to interactions that I didn't deem too ooc. I say this like it's not the most random Berserk crackship to exist. As I look back on the fic over a year later, all I can say is "Yeah, I did that". I turned the sex demon into an even hornier sapphic for the skeleton man's fairy girlfriend.

One of Heart, One of Mind

As of now, this fic is my favorite fic I've ever written. Yulma is a ship that I feel so strongly about and they're the first ship that I've consistently shipped for years, so writing this fic was a very daunting task. I really wanted to do them right, and being the perfectionist that I am, I was bugging @shiroganeryo for months about my ideas, anxieties, and overall love for Kanda and Alma. In rereading/rewatching the Artificial Exorcist arc multiple times to familiarize myself with their canon selves again, I gained a newfound appreciation for Hoshino's storytelling abilities. She really knows how to make a girl cry. I feel like this fic is very reflective of the writer that I am now and I can only hope that I continue to grow. Comparing this to Encompassing Lust makes me feel so many things, all positive of course.

A Familiar Canvas

A Familiar Canvas is my fic of all fics. It's my most kudo'd, most commented, and second-highest hit counted fics. It's a fic that I had come up on the fly for GriffGuts Weekend 2022 and the first fic I've written that had a "due date". I learned a lot about myself during the nearly two and a half months I took to write this fic. One, I'm awful at writing on a time crunch, and two, I really like writing Griffith's dialogue. He was actually easier to write than Guts if you could believe it. It's usually the other way around for my friends. I don't know how it got so much traction over the months but I welcome it all.

#asks #violetposts.exe

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missgeniality · 11 months

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Siyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoe are you doing???!?!!????

I just reread the strip lawyer and omggg your mind!!!!!!! Lemme kisss OMGGGGGGGG LIKE HOW CAN YOU WRITE SOMETHING SO DELICIOUS I CAN DIEE REREADING TAHT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

On that note can you give me a peak , or perhaps just warning tags, of any of your wips with other sexy ass smut please?????? I just want to know what you're thinking next cause ksurjekssllsworbkeslslslsllslsls every time i read your fics my brain is like omg what was she thinking 🧐😯🧐

Thank you and i really hope you have a blessed day today for making me so giiddy this early in the morning.

P.s. pls tell me where you read manga and watch anime and some spicy and sweet recommendations please.

I love comedy and I have never watched anime. I don't like action though. Just something lighthearted (and a bit raunchy if possible) to keep me entertained hehe.

AAAAHHHHH IVVYYY I can't believe you could reread a fic of mine and still find it enjoyable, that is the biggest compliment, thank you so muuuccchhhh 🥺🥺🥺🥺 <3

WIP... I have only two at the moment... one is stigma... that has been going on for 2 years now (insert a pic of mine completely ashamed of myself) - that doesn't really have much smut, and there is more of a plot in that. Hence, the porn monster in me is having difficulty finishing it ehehehe 🐥 another one is a part of keynote! i have some ideas, im still thinking it through, but THAT will be smut galoorreeee! i want them to try new things, i want hoseok to push his own boundaries along with yn's, so that will be fun to write :3 I'm so happy you're looking forward to them, I will drop snippets when I get time to write them eheheh <3 Thank you so much for making my weekend with your kind wordsss 💓

So manga, I usually use https://mangatoto.net/, I find most of the ones I read over there. Anime I usually just go to Netflix and watch whatever is there, but you can also use gogoanime to watch whatever you want!

Comedy and raunchy... I will drop the manga's I've read recently, they should fit your taste ehehehe they're mostly erotica + cute romcom!

DISCLAIMER: A lot of manga get discontinued often, so I can't guarantee these are all completed!

Oshiete Kudasai Fujishima-san - this is GOOD. Consent is great, the male lead is hot, the sex is actually really good and not the same scene repeated 50 times! But... the female lead... this one comment sums it up:

(Rio being the female lead) But I still recommend it!

2. Hapi Mari - This one is really nice! I like the character dynamics, it is not super explicit but the characters are sketched out pretty well. Slightly dumber female lead, but its not as bad as the previous one!

3. Osananajimi Bartender to Hajimeru Kaikan Lesson - short I think, the art style is not to my liking. But the characters are so nice, and the side characters are sweet! And they have this 'cocktail language' that is very cutely used hehe, good read! And CONSENT!!!

4. Tada no Renai nanka de Kikkonai: Kojirase Joushi to Fetish na Buka (We Can't Do Just Plain Love: She's Got a Fetish, Her Boss Has Low Self-Esteem) - The title is pretty funny lmaoooo and I love this manga the most of them all!! This female lead is TO DIE FOR. The concept of this manga is really fun, so this is honestly such a hidden gem. I highly recommend this.

5. Talk To Me - this is actually a manhwa, so the art style takes some time to get used to. Also a little slow, not much happens each chapter, but its a very cute light-hearted read, smexy smexy though! The 2 couples are written very well, so I am currently enjoying this quite a bit ehehe

As for anime, my recommendation of Kaichou Wa Maid Sama still stands!! It's a good anime, and the manga left me in tears <3 Other than that, here are some of my favs that fit your taste (none of these are erotica like the mangas, but they're still very funny):

The Disastrous Life Of Saiki Kusuo (deadpan humour, love it)

Gintama (this is my fav anime of all time, but it has fighting in it as well)

Great Teacher Onizuka

The Way of the Househusband

Ouran High School Host Club (!!!)

Food Wars (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Monthly Girls' Nozaki Kun (so so cute and funny)

Haven't you heard? I'm Sakamoto

Wotakoi (extremely cute and very light hearted, office romance)

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (!!!!!)

*deep breath* That is all from me LOOLLL I'm sorry I laid out a huge ass list but I was too excited to talk about my recs. I hope you enjoy them, please tell me what you think of them once you read/watch them!! Thank you once again for sending me this sweet ask <3

#ivy strikes again #melting like butter under saharan sun #beauty moots #siya's house of cards #queue and i

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saotome-michi · 1 year

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Just finished rereading Yozora no Sumikko de AND Yoake ni Furu back to back and my god THE EMOTIONS ;o; I am not strong enough for this

I really have so much love for these series especially Yoake ni Furu which has cemented its spot as my Number 1 Favourite out of Hayakawa’s works and I think? that I’m in the minority with that opinion, but I just adore how multi-layered and subtle the storytelling is. I think that it’s definitely one that grows richer the more you reread it, because you don’t really get a clear picture of Shouta’s mental and emotional conflicts until the very end and not even then. In the beginning we’re made to believe that Shouta’s love for Hoshino is romantic in nature, at least partially, but gradually the inconsistencies appear and enough pieces come together for us to realize: Oh, it’s not romantic at all, but purely familial and protective; Hoshino is the third parent whom Shouta dearly loves but is uncomfortable “claiming” in that way, because that’s not normal and Shouta has always been aware how not normal his family situation is.

Add to that his pain over his mother dying and leaving him when he was so young, and his fear that he’s a burden to Akihiro (and also Akihiro and Hoshino still not getting their shit together even after 6 years) and well... that’s how you get a boy who can only express his love for his third parental figure by pretending he’s his long-distance girlfriend. It’s honestly so sad, and that’s also why he breaks down after seeing Hoshino cry and overhearing him say that he has a marriage interview, because he’s faced with the prospect of Hoshino leaving him as well and the confirmation that him growing up does not guarantee Hoshino’s presence in his life.

Another cute/heartbreaking sign of how Hoshino is really his second dad, is when Shouta invites Daiki over to his house for the weekend to see Hoshino, right after he stayed the night at Daiki’s house hanging out with Daiki’s mother and sister. It’s so clear that he loves Daiki’s family and really appreciates them caring for him and also appreciates Daiki for sharing them with him, which is why he wants to return the gesture by sharing his family aka Hoshino with Daiki (and he’s so disappointed when Daiki says he can’t come). What makes it extra special is that Daiki is one of the only people Shouta can share Hoshino with, and I think that’s also why Shouta is so upset after Daiki pushes him down and implies that Shouta’s feelings for Hoshino are sexual, because he trusted Daiki out of all people to understand him (but who can blame Daiki for not when Shouta never explained the whole situation to him, poor guy was under the misconception that Shouta has been dating his elementary school teacher this whole time).

The whole manga is really Shouta’s coming-of-age story as he struggles with accepting his unique family, not because he’s ashamed of them but because his fear of abandonment and his reluctance to depend on others even when he clearly wants to results in him feeling like he has no right to them (and that includes Daiki!!) Meanwhile, Daiki is just trying to figure Shouta’s shit out, and making some missteps along the way, but once he does, he tackles it head on, telling Shouta he loves him and that he wants Shouta to depend on him. And that reassurance, more than anything, is what allows Shouta to finally relax and be vulnerable with him.

I also really recommend reading this along with Yozora no Sumikko de, because there are some very cool parallels, contrasts, and callbacks between the two series. In Yozora, Hoshino thinks of Akihiro as a dazzling person, a star, far from his reach, until he gathers the courage to grasp him with his own hands, while in Yoake, Shouta thinks of Hoshino and his mother as stars, their familial love an ideal and something he must chase and prove himself worthy of, but Daiki? Daiki is much closer than that; he is the streetlamps, the houselights that make homes seem so warm and inviting at night, so much closer and yet easier to overlook because of their proximity. Honestly, it’s poetry.

#yoake ni furu #hayakawa nojiko #yozora no sumikko de #it's been a while since I rambled about how much I love something #random blah of letters #manga #manga recs

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tacanderson · 1 year

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The Japanese Book, American Movie Connection

It's hard to find many Japanese books translated into English that aren't manga. Nothing against manga, I just wish more novels made their way over here. If you're interested, here's two books worth your time and one that's not Japanese, but you'll see why I included it here.

Bullet Train

Have you seen the movie Bullet Train yet? Great movie. Brad Pitt does an excellent job playing the unlucky (but really lucky), bumbling criminal. (Fun fact: the director, David Leitch (John Wick, Deadpool 2, Atomic Blond) was Brad Pitt's stunt double before he became a director.) When I saw the trailer I looked up the movie and saw that it was an adaptation of a Japanese book. So before I talk more about Bullet Train, I need to talk about a book I first read in 2014 and then re-read this year (yeah, I know, for someone who said he never rereads books, I sure reread a lot this year).

All You Need Is Kill

In 2014 the movie Edge of Tomorrow came out. Interestingly, the DVD release would change the title to Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow. As in most cases, the book usually gets it right and they should have stuck with the original book title, All You Need Is Kill. What a great name. But I can see why they wouldn't think it would work well as a major motion picture movie title.

So, in 2014 Edge of Tomorrow was released and some neighbors came back from seeing the movie (opening weekend, I think) with the above pictured book. Knowing I was interested in seeing the movie and that I was a sci-fi fan, they gave me the book. At first I thought it was one of those movie novelizations, but quickly realized it was the actually the book the movie was based on. First off, how awesome is that?

If I had one Christmas wish it would be that every time a movie was made from a book, the studio would give out free copies of the book with every opening weekend ticket. I can tell you I'd see a lot more movies in the theater if they did that.

So, I read the book and instantly fell in love with it. I went and saw the move and loved it as well. While the movie was different, I felt like they did a good job sticking to the spirit of the book. I wish the movie would have ended about 10 minutes earlier, without the Hollywood ending, so it would have been closer to the book ending, but that's okay. I get it.

So, back to Bullet Train. I had plans with some friends to go see the movie and I quickly read the book before we went. The book was great, but there was one character, The Prince, that really bothered me. He's this psychotic tween who manipulates everyone in the book. That's not actually what bothers me. What I didn't like was he'd have these long internal and external monologues about morality and how he was so much superior to everyone, and blah, blah, blah. Way too much ink was spent on these thoughts of his.

The movie didn't have this and The Prince, gender swapped and played by Joey King, wasn't nearly as annoying. And this is one of these rare instances where I'm going to say that the movie was better than the book. I still enjoyed the book, but the move was way more fun.

But this leads me to my third book.

Shibumi

When we first meet The Prince, she is reading a book called Shibumi. I hadn't heard of this book, but the cover reminded me of the cover to Shogun, which I remember my dad reading when I was a kid. I quickly jotted down the name of the book and looked it up later.

Shibumi may be my favorite new book I read this year. It was definitely the most unexpected. The author of Shibumi simply goes by the name Trevanian. As it says on the cover of my book, Trevanian was the only writer of airport paperbacks to be compared to Zola, Ian Fleming, Poe, and Chaucer.

Upon researching the book and the author, I was very surprised to learn that Shibumi was a best selling book when it was released in 1979 and between 1972 and 1983 Trevanian had five books all sell over a million copies each. Having been born in 1972, its no surprise I hadn't heard of him, but given how good the book is, and how much praise the author gets I'm surprised I hadn't heard of him until now. But I think that's all going to change. I think we're about to have a small Trevanian resurgence.

The book is being adapted into a movie. The screenplay is being adapted by Matthew Orton, who wrote episode one of Moon Knight, and it's being directed by Chad Stahelski, who has directed all three John Wick movies, as well as the upcoming fourth one. But this isn't his first movie adaptation, he also write The Eiger Sanction in 1972, which was adapted into film in 1975 starring and directed by Clint Eastwood.

Through all the success Trevanian had no one ever knew his actual name. It was a lot easier to keep your identity hidden before the internet came along. Trevanian's real name is Rodney William Whitaker. What's even more fascinating to me is that Whitaker didn't stick to one genre, even with his pen name, Travanian, he published under several different genres.

But here's the thing that impressed me. Shibumi is satire. It's such a subtle satire that it frustrated the author because most people didn't get it. I have to admit when I first started reading it I thought, "wow, this is over the top 1970's macho spy stuff." Then after a few more pages, I thought, "that can't be right, this is too well written." The text isn't subtle, but the satire is. If you want a good laugh, read the hundreds of one-star reviews on Goodreads and you'll see just how much people miss the mark on this book.

#tacs 2022 books #tacs 2022 #goodreads challenge #edge of tomorrow #all you need is kill #bullet train #the book was better #the movie was better #shibumi #trevanian #book review

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kimium · 1 year

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Since I had so much fun writing out my ships for Twisted Wonderland I figured I'm going to do the same with Bleach. Because I spent my weekend rereading the last arc. And I've been a fan of the series since day one and I've never talked about it???

So, uh... here we go. Spoilers for the entire series... sort of. I mean... only one of my ships is from the final arc.

Rest is under the cut

Ships that are my OTP/ "They're basically canon in my eyes"

Kyoraku/Ukitake: They have such strong "old gay uncle" energy together and I love it. They're 100% in love in my eyes.

Ikkaku/Yumichika: They're so obviously a couple that it hurts me. Their dynamic! Their trust! Their loyalty towards one another! Top Tier.

Ships that I Really Like (in order of "I strongly ship this" to "I love the possibilities of this dynamic")

Grimmjow/Ichigo: They have that "enemies to sort of allies to begrudgingly accepting one another to dumbasses in love". At least as far as I'm concerned.

Byakuya/Renji: I'm a big sucker for the stoic one who has a soft spot for certain people falling for the wild, loose, passionate one who is a dumbass. Also that one scene in the Soul Society arc where Renji is just waltzing around the Sixth Division wearing a sakura yukata?? Top Tier.

Ulquiorra/Orihime: Yeah, I know he kidnapped her but they have this "beast who suddenly understands human emotions a little because one (1) person decided they're not taking this BS".

Ishida/Chad: I like this because it's Ishida "I over think a lot of things" and Chad "I see things for what they really are". I like that dynamic and think it's cute.

Komamura/Tosen: LISTEN. The moment I found out (all those years ago) they became friends because Tosen doesn't see the barriers Komamura has believed/been told about his entire life, I was sold. That's such a beautiful start to a friendship and it definitely makes me sad that Tosen betrayed Soul Society.

Kensei/Shuhei: I'm just a big fan of "I looked up to you and respected you and now that you're back and I'm an adult my admiration has been exposed as a crush. HELP, what do I do???" vibe.

Ships that I think are fun (in order of "That Definitely happened at least Once" to "That's interesting")

Urahara/Yoruichi: I refuse to believe they didn't experiment with one another at least once. Whether there are actual romantic feelings is up to interpretation.

Yoruichi/Soi Fong: Basically the same idea as Urahara/Yoruichi except Soi Fong is Definitely in Love with Yoruichi. It's cute.

Aizen/Hirako: I've flip flopped on this ship a lot over the years. While I'm not always a fan of it what I AM a fan of is the possibility that Aizen figured out he had a Massive Gay Crush on Hirako and then proceeded to be Extremely Conflicted over it. I just love imagining Aizen with all his little schemes crying in his room because "Captain Hirako is my enemy but he's So Hot I want to Sleep with Him".

Bazz-B/Jugram "Jugo": Look, it's my obligatory "THEY WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS" ship. Makes what happens in the manga all the more heartbreaking for me.

Gin/Matsumoto: Another ship that I've flip flopped over the years. I do think there is potential, especially their backstory. I also like the tragic angle this ship can take. But even if I'm not shipping it I do think their interactions/friendship is fascinating.

Gin/Izuru: I'm a huge fan of Gin causing troubles for Izuru and Izuru trying to be responsible for his captain. Then, Gin teases him and Izuru is a Flustered Mess.

Ships that I think are Cute (in order of "That's just sweet" to "I see the appeal")

Hitsugaya/Momo: It's just another case of "they're childhood friends that have a soft, cute dynamic". It's harmless and wholesome in my eyes.

Orihime/Tatsuki: They're just very adorable together and I've always enjoyed their friendship.

Renji/Rukia: I know it's canon but I'm not the biggest fan of it. That being said, I do think they're very cute and their shared backstory makes this pairing cute.

Ships that are just Crack/Make me Laugh

Kenpachi/Byakuya: If I had a nickel every time those two were paired up in a fight against the enemy I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's strange that it's happened twice. Or however that quote goes. This ship is all about "prim, proper one" with "not prim and proper one". I think it's funny.

Szayelaporro/Renji: Their fight was Charged. That's all I'm saying about it.

But what about any OT3s?

Shuhei/Matsumoto/Izuru: I love their dynamic. It's funny and cute. Matsumoto 100% is in charge.

Ichigo/Rukia/Renji: I just think they're Neat and I like the energy they bring to the table.

Ichigo/Byakuya/Renji: Almost didn't add this but then I thought of the chaotic energy Byakuya would have with BOTH Ichigo and Renji and laughed. So this is at the end as an honourable mention.

#personal #bleach

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sage-nebula · 2 years

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Something my fellow adults need to remember is that just because something is a big deal to a child or teenager because they don't have the life experience to not freak out over it doesn't make it any less of a big deal.

When I was around 14, my family went on vacation to South Dakota. For the most part, it was a pretty cool vacation. But there was one snag: this vacation fell during the exact weekend that the culmination of the pier duel in the English dub of Yu-Gi-Oh was airing. This was a huge deal to me; I've always loved mind control plots and Jounouchi was my favorite character in the show. I was gripped by the drama, and back then I didn't know about the manga or fansubs or anything like that. I didn't have an easy way to see the ending.

My parents tried to get the TV in our travel trailer working so I could watch the episode. But it didn't work, and I was upset. I was so gutted. And I was scolded and told to get over it and just enjoy the vacation, because a TV show wasn't a big deal.

As a 32-year-old adult who has now read the manga and could reread it at any time, I understand the perspective my parents had back then. From the adult perspective, missing an episode of a TV show—even a highly anticipated one—isn't a big deal.

But to 14-year-old me, it was. And 14-year-old me was valid. Are teenagers hormonal and inexperienced and prone to irrationality? Yes. But that doesn't make their feelings invalid. Just because a TV show isn't a big deal to an adult doesn't mean it's not a big deal to a teenager. Just because a toy cost $5 and was cheap plastic doesn't mean its loss isn't a big deal to a child. It IS a big deal. And children and teenagers should be taken seriously when they express as much, and encouraged to feel their feelings, and sympathized with. Sure, you don't want a 6-year-old to really believe the world is ending because their $0.25 bouncy ball bounced into the sewer. But you can reassure them that it will be okay and that they will feel better in time without being dismissive of their feelings or saying "it's not a big deal" when it very much is to them.

It's just something I think my fellow adults should think about.

#not brought on by any particular thing #just smth i was thinking about

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father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

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happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

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