#i really need to get a job that doesn't drain me in 6 hours
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PSA. i am a slow writer, and not a social creature.
i just want to make a post addressing this in the light of things that had been brought to my attention recently. i rarely if ever initiate a conversation especially in chats or DMs. 90% of the time the ones who still talk to me on regular basis are the ones who poke me regardless of how dead i have been since our last conversation, and i want to say how much i appreciate you guys for being understanding with me on that front. for tolerating me dropping off the conversation or unable to keep it going for long. or rarely messaging you guys first or sending unprompted asks whether ic or ooc. i know i am bad at it. and i'm sorry if i ever made anyone feel neglected by that.
i wake up at 5:40AM daily, spent 1-2 hours driving to work, work from 9-6, then another 1-2 hours drive back home. i usually have about 2-4 hours daily for leisure. i work a relatively stressful job with strict deadlines and responsibilities, so often enough my social battery is drained by the time i get home. if i don't respond to your messages, it's nothing personal, i promise. i'm just exhausted from work and irl things.
if you see me prioritizing some threads / muses / writing, again, it's nothing personal. with limited time that i could write, i tend to let my muses decide what they want to do and write what comes to me the easiest. sometimes they cooperate with me on things, sometimes they don't. i am just human, i do have partners who my muses and i tend to gravitate towards for various reasons. they're either my long-term mutuals, good friends of mine, or our muses and/or muns chemistry click really well that writing comes easy. however, that doesn't mean i don't want to write with you. i'm just slow, that's all. i do want to write with new people, and i try to do so. but i'm easily overwhelmed and take on more things than i could. that's on me, as well.
sorry if this comes out of the blue, but it needs to be said. i'm incredibly sorry if i have disappointed any of you by not meeting your expectations or have kept any of you waiting long for content from me. i do want to write with as many people as i could, but even i know it's impossible to write with everyone. i do try to reach out whenever time and energy permits, and i'm sorry if i let any of you down with promises or plots that didn't get to be explored.
for those who read up to this point, thank you for taking the time to read this. and thank you for those who still choose to stick with me even though i take forever to get to things. thank you everyone who had been so understanding and patient with me all these years. i wouldn't have still been here if it weren't for you. so thank you. i love you.
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Saturday January 7 2023, Mexico City, 6:18 AM
Dear diary:
Sorry, it's been some time since I wrote. I've been really busy lately. I barely have time to sleep. Getting a job is the worst idea I ever had however I can't quit now. Last semester at school was horrendous. Not because of what I learned or my friends, it was because of work. Again I don't have time. Since last month I've been feeling like shit, nothing but shit. I know I'm young and I have a lot to live still anywho I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm loosing everything and I don't know what to do. Last year I learned that many people expect a lot from me. Not being able to fulfill those expectations broke me.
About work... God help me. We don't have enough people so I've been working from 8 to 12 hours shifts and it's exhausting. My boss, she asks me to do a lot of things but she doesn't fully understands that I'm tired. She doesn't realize how much I have gave up. But don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person nether selfish or something, she is tired, just like me. It's just a tricky situation.
I have been thinking about leaving school because pressure is getting me. I don't want to because of my friends an some things I could miss but emotionally I'm drained. I can't keep up with it. Also because my mom and her boyfriend well they want me to be the best, they want me to have the best grades, the best at school and I have never been that boy. How am I supposed to be someone that I have never been...
About love, I haven't found it yet. I'll keep trying but I don't think it's close however I can be surprised. You know right know I could really use a boyfriend. I need that emotional support.
Anyway I'll be updating you I'll make an effort to keep writing.
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I need some advice. I recently was broken up with and I'm reeling from it. We met when i was 19 and he was 32 and we ended up hooking up 6 years ago. He didn't tell me until after we hooked up that he had a wife which started a crazy feud, but he eventually divorced his wife and convinced me to be in a relationship with him. The relationship was pretty rocky at first because he was very emotionally abusive. Like he would constantly reprimand me for doing the wrong thing and saying the wrong thing and would lecture me for hours and not let me sleep until I agreed with him. I used to live with him sometimes because my mom got evicted and i couldn't hold down a stable job because I had an untreated learning disability and he would pick fights with me every day when I would say/ do the wrong thing and sometimes he would even kick me out.
While he did all this its v confusing bc he was also very good to me at the same time?? He helped me out when I was evicted and let me live rent free with him. He helped me get my diagnosis and helped me look for a job. He helped me get over some of my insecurities and would urge me to go to therapy and helped me get my driver's license. The last 2 years he started becoming more spiritual and became a lot nicer to me (He would still reprimand me but not as often) and urged me to do yoga and meditation. He started getting serious and during that time he was throwing ideas around of leaving everything behind and going to a yoga center etc. I was so drained atp from the constant mistreatment and feeling like I wasn't a priority so I went outside the relationship to explore my options. i met a guy that I was going to meet for dinner and just talk to, but I was drugged and assaulted. I felt so guilty that I told my boyfriend and he broke up with me. This was a year ago. Since then, we've been on and off because he would come back but couldn't commit because he couldnt trust me. Early this year he moved to a different state and he reached out to me to ask if I wanted to visit him out there in the summer. I was cautious but I agreed because I missed him. We started calling and texting every day and he started hinting that he wanted a relationship with me again. I started catching feelings again and was grateful for the opportunity to make things right because I fucked up. I bought the plane tickets and two days after I bought them he told me that he was getting women flirting with him out there and that he wanted to explore his options. I was so upset and I asked him why we couldnt work things out, he told me he still couldnt trust me after what happened. He told me it's best if I get a refund on the tix and just stay home. I felt so crushed, I felt like I was lead on and I feel so ashamed and guilty over what I did. The worst part is I felt like I ruined everything and it's my fault that the relationship ended the way it did. What do I do???? I have no friends and no one to talk to.
Oh my god anon I'm so sorry this is happening to you please please please drop that man asap!!!!! He's abusive and manipulative and predatory, he knew exactly what he was doing going after you at such a young age.
Abusive relationships are almost never all abuse, there's always "good" moments, that's why most people stay, but the good doesn't negate the bad. This man took advantage of you when you where very young and in a vulnerable situation! Also, you didn't "fuck up", you were ASSAULTED, it's not your fault and the fact that this man blames you for your assault tells me all I need to know about him. I would really suggest going no contact, I know it can be scary since you don't seem to have a lot of other people in your life, but I believe it's for the better.
A good way to make friends as an adult is joining activities like a book club, a sport, or a class. But I would also recommend you reach out to women in your life, even if you don't talk much, they'll probably will be able to help more than a stranger on the internet. You deserve to be loved and respected, do not ever forget that <3
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Hydrated and rhapsody?
Hydrated: have you drank enough water today?
Funny you should ask. I tolerate oral liquids only slightly better than I tolerate solid food. I have a few 8, 12, and 16-oz reusable cups that I bounce among, and I have oral liquids... maybe 5 or 6 times a week?
So, here's the thing. My digestive system is paralyzed, except for a very small portion of my small intestine, which is where my J stoma is and where my formula goes for immediate nutritional absorption. Formula is liquid (duh), and that's how I get some of my daily hydration. However, I can't get enough hydration to sustain me just through my food. Mixing in enough liquid to do that would result in too much food to be able to put into me over the course of a day without speeding the pump rate to a point where the working digestive bits would overrun and backflow and cause vomiting.
Instead, I receive 2 liters of IV fluid over the course of 20 hours per day (some saline and some D5 1/2 normal). That's infused through my port, which is sort of like a permanent IV; a central line into a vein running into my heart. On this treatment schedule, I am perfectly taken care of, and I don't get dehydrated anymore!
But, back to drinking. I can drink. I do drink. Tea, water, Mountain Dew, Gatorade, Canadian Club with a mixer... But never more than a total of about 16 oz a day, or I will get nauseated. Most of what I drink with my mouth moves down the esophagus into my stomach, but my stomach doesn't work/move things into intestine, so it also has a stoma, which is attached to a drain. The liquid is basically regurgitated out of my stomach and into a a little IV-looking bag that you keep in your pocket or purse or somewhere so you don't have to look at the yuk that comes out. If I want to feel the effects of a drink, like caffeine or alcohol, I usually either split the content and drink 1/2 by mouth and bolus the other half into the J tube (where it will actually absorb), or just get 2 drinks and do the same.
Rhapsody: do you like going to concerts? what’s the last concert you went to?
OMG, another probably long and TMI answer,
When I could hear properly, which we can denote as ~under age 15ish, I didn't understand the concept of live music. If you want your music nice and crispy, you play your cassette tape or CD or LP or that spiffy new downloady-thing (mp3/iPod). If you want to watch your person sing, and sound bad, you watch Rockin' New Year's Eve or whatever (and I did not know a thing about pre-recorded/lip sync/ terrible wind noise on the top of tall buildings/ etc.). I think I told people I hated concerts, even though I had no experience, because the idea of crowd + bad sound quality = disappointing. Purely from childish logic with nothing else factored in.
I started losing my hearing as an older teen, and it became really apparent I needed aiding when I was working in an office and attending call-in meetings on a phone headset, or going into a boardroom as a scribe, and being, like, holy shit, I don't feel confident that I did a good job with that. I never even thought about concerts then. But I was IN LOVE with cinema. Especially the (not imax) XD screens, with the curve and the sound coming from all sides. I'd pay extra for that.
Now, with DD. She has always loved concerts. I was afraid to go into a crowd, and still feared the music would be distorted b/c not studio recorded. We went out anyway. Bad Wolves were our first, and now they're our pet band. For venues--we started small, and went dive bar to outdoor festival to mid-sized arena to outdoor arena... and we've been around to pretty much anywhere nearby that's hosting someone we like. We try to see 4 or 5 shows a year, depending on schedule/finances/who's playing/etc.
Our latest was Breaking Benjamin (for the second time!!! One of my faves. An Seether guested, and they were amazing.) Next up is Greta Van Fleet (My ABSOLUTE fave.)
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I NEEEEEED to get up and do ANYTHING productive today, but I ALREADY went to work and I don't want to do any more 😭
#i really need to get a job that doesn't drain me in 6 hours#i had a short shift today after 2 days off IN A ROW and i'm still. ughhhhhhhhh 😭 i'm so FUCKING tired 😭#to be fair i am housesitting this week so i haven't been sleeping well. and that'll do it on its own.#but then the last two days i got almost nothing done.#and i NEED to get rid of more of my shit or at the VERY LEAST start packing it up.#i have to be out of the house in exactly 3 weeks and it will be SO much easier if most of my shit is already packed and ready to go#i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate moving so much. SO much.#personal
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Tech -Thank You For Loving Me 15 – Work Work Work
Tech x Fem!Reader FF
Warnings: 18 + SMUT
Oral Giving/Nudity/ Cum Eating/ Soft And Tired Tech/
What Happened Before:
Nervous Flutter
Part 2 - Help Me To Let Go
Part 3 - Asking For Advice
Part 4 - Devotion
Part 5 - The Explorer
Part 6 - You’re The Best
Part 7 - Experimental (½)
Part 8 - Experimental (2/2) - Not Fully Functional
Part 9 - Not Alone
Part 10 - Cared For
Part 11 - Don’t You Worry
Part 12 - A White Lie
Part 13 - Hope
Part 14 - Games To Play
Part 15 - Work Work Work
The modifications of the two ships to match each other now took a week longer than planned and Tech was under pressure. It was time to get back to doing jobs for Cid, the credits were running out.
Tech worked practically day and night, Echo helped him most of the time and you hardly got to see him. But you understood the need, of course.
Tech was lying among the engines in the Marauder's engine room, wrenching away, surrounded by spare parts, tools and covered in grease stains, when you came to check on him.
"How's it going, handsome?" you asked gently, kneeling down beside him.
"Oh, hello Cyare, I didn't hear you come in" he said, smiling tiredly at you "Things aren't going quite so well"
Your eyes roamed over the machines and all the utensils around him.
"What exactly isn't going so well?" you wanted to know.
Echo who entered the room behind you said, "The engines of the two ships can't be synchronized for some reason. Your shuttle is not causing any problems, but the Marauder seems to be having some sort of hiccup."
You watched as Echo joined Tech and started working as well.
"What does that mean?"
Tech said matter-of-factly, "If the ships' engines can't be switched in sync, we can't use the hyperdrive when we're coupled. If I command boost in the Marauder, the command must automatically be executed in both shuttles. That works, but it doesn't work the other way around."
You frowned and said, " Well, then we can just fly the two ships using only the Marauder, would that be so bad? What happens anyway if the two ships are out of sync?"
Tech adjusted his goggles with his index finger as he looked at you and matter-of-factly explained, "Since the Hope is larger and heavier than the Marauder, the ships would be torn apart in a hyperspace jump and we would probably all die."
"Oh," you said in surprise "That wouldn't be good"
"I agree with that," chuckled Echo.
Tech added: "Depending on the situation, it might be necessary for us to pilot the ships via the Hope, but the Marauder's engine only seems to want to communicate in one direction."
"Sounds complicated," you muttered uncertainly.
Tech shook his head, "It really shouldn't be. But for some reason it is, and I just can't find that reason. It's starting to make me... how would you put it? Insane."
"Poor darling" you said softly kissing his cheek "I hope it resolves soon, I miss you"
"Believe me, I miss you too, a lot. That being said, I've hardly slept in the last two weeks. I hate to admit it, but I'm pretty drained" Tech confessed.
This was really new, Tech was always fit and tinkering, but the modifications to the ships, had really taken everything out of him in the last few weeks.
"I know this thing needs to get done, ASAP, but no one benefits from you working yourself to death," Echo said sympathetically "Why don't you take a few hours break, take a shower, get some sleep. Let your girl take care of you for a bit and relax, I'm sure it will work better after that"
You nodded at Tech with a smile.
"Echo is right."
With a sigh, Tech put the tool down, smiled at you and said, "Do you have a little time to take care of your broken boyfriend?"
"Always, sweetheart, always"
Tech disappeared into the bathroom and you fixed him a steak sandwich and his favorite juice. When he got out of the shower and saw the food on the small dining table, he smiled gratefully.
"Oh Cyare, you are the best."
He sat down on the chair at the table in his shorts and shirt with wet hair and immediately started eating like a hungry bear. You decided to take better care of him and even if he refused to, bring him snacks at work, you would not let him talk you out of this again. The poor guy was half starved.
You had freshly made the beds, fluffed the pillows, and had already arranged the blanket for him when he came into the bedroom. Tech climbed into bed, grabbed your hand and pulled you to him. He pulled the blanket over both of you and wrapped both arms around you.
"I missed you," he murmured against your neck.
Your hands slid over his shoulders onto his back.
"I missed you too, handsome."
Examining, your fingers felt over his shoulder and back muscles.
"You're all tense. Would you like me to give you a little massage?"
You broke free of the embrace and he mumbled softly, "You don't have to, stay here in my.... mmmh, never mind, that feels really good."
You had turned him onto his stomach, crouched over him and started massaging his shoulders and back. He moaned under you as if you were in the middle of lovemaking and you couldn't help but grin in amusement.
Slowly, bit by bit, his muscles relaxed under your fingers.
"Mesh'la?"
"Yes?"
Tech said hesitantly, "I'm in a dilemma. I'm, touch starved, as you like to say. I'm... hard right now but I'm so done.... I don't know if I can... Help me Cyare"
You turned him on his back, took off your night shirt over your head and sat on his lap, feeling his hard manhood through the fabric of your panties and his shorts.
He shuddered and his hands automatically moved to your hips.
"You want me to help you?"
Tech nodded and his cheeks and ears reddened.
"You could ride me," he said shyly.
"Or I could suck you off," you returned with a smile.
His ears turned even redder.
He swallowed and said, "I'm happy with either, you decide."
As you climbed off his lap, pulled down his boxers and leaned over him to kiss your way from his mouth, over his chin, down his neck, across his chest, and stomach to his private parts, he sighed in devotion.
"Mesh'la you are so good to me".
"You're always so caring and considerate, I'm just returning the favor" you replied softly, licking your lips and placing a gentle kiss on his tip.
Tech moaned softly.
You realize he has always been so very caring, so immensly concerned about making you happy, for once, you wanted him to just lean back, relax and enjoy.
“Is this okay, Tech?” You whisper with your lips close to his length „Can you finally just lean back and let me pleasure you?“
He shivered in anticipation.
“Yes, Mesh'la as long as I can return the favor some other night… please…” He begged.
“Of course my love”
You took his hard cock in your hands, softly stroking it, making hin sigh in arousal.
Tech was so sweet and his little gasps and moans so delightful.
“You deserve this, Tech, my love, you've been working so hard” You assure him with another kiss to his tip.
He shivered again with a stuttered sigh, his eyes darkening, his head falling back into his neck. You can tell, he want's this.
“Now, enjoy Darling, clear your head for once, don't think, feel” You squeezed his base gently as your lips closed around his tip, for a moment.
“Kriff… I… Maker, I love your sweet lips.” He gasped husky.
You smiled, licking the underside of his cock.
As you took him in deeper, beginning to bobb your head up and down, he gripped the sheet with both hands. You took his cock down further, letting your tongue drag against the underside again. Looking at his hands, you can tell he’s holding back, grabbing the sheets to prevent from grabbing your head.
“Use me, Love” You encouraged him, then resumed sucking his cock, dragging your mouth and tounge along his hard length.
His thighs were already shaky and he moaned so sweetly, softly.
Tech hesitantly let go of the sheets and gripped your head instead. His eyes darted down to you, not sure if he was going to far. You hummed with pleasure to let him know you liked it.
He hesitated one more moment, before he started bobbing you up and down on his cock. You let him push you down on it until his length started going down your throat. You moan around him and with a strangled groan, he asked: „A- are you okay?“
You hummed again and winked at him as he looked at you checking.
„Mesh'la... don't need long like this“
Satisfied, you hummed again around his cock, making him twitch.
You picked up the pace and he let you, letting out another strangled groan. One of your hands cupping his balls, felt them tense, just a second later, his cock was throbbing in your mouth, filling it with his seed, as he let out a long drawn out moan.
Tech twitched and shivered as you licked his cock clean afterwards, mumbling sweet praises.
He was so done, you helped him pull up his Boxers again, because it didn't seem like he was doing it himself anytime soon.
As you climbed up in bed, still only in your panties, and snuggled up to him, he wrapped his arms around you once more, sighing devotedly.
„My sweet Cyare“, he whispered, barely able to talk any louder, so close to fall asleep any second.
You smiled, kissed his chin and whispered back: „Sleep, handsome, I'll be here with you when you wake up“
@ben-is-a-hoe
@kaminocasey
@nunanuggets
@hypnoash
@brynhildrmimi
@livi-s
@ttzamara
@thebadbatchscyare
@rexandechosandwich
@mybigfatspoonielife
@clone-whore-99
#tech x y/n#tech#clone trooper tech#clone trooper tech x reader#star wars#the bad batch#clonelove#clone force 99#tbb#sw tbb#bad batch tech#tbb tech#tech tbb#tech the bad batch#tech x reader#tech x you#the bad batch tech#tech tuesday#tech smut#tech fluff#tech star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanfiction#bad batch#bad batch x reader#star wars bad batch#sw the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#star wars tbb#tbb fic#tbb fanfiction
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Rating the Canon CoD husbands on who I would realistically allow the privilege of dating me, most to least likely
Some of y'all are about to get hurt if you read this, so be warned. All just my opinion, but it's opinion based on material from the games.
David Mason
Unproblematic king. He is literally just there. Just a normal guy with a bit of childhood baggage, but even then, that's fine bc who doesn't have that nowadays. He probably has a little PTSD from the military, but I can't hold that against him bc he's normally just so chill and fun. Also, considering he's the closest one on this list to our generation, you already know he's progressive and a big respecter of women
10/10 why can't he be real
Weaver
There is literally nothing wrong with this man. ALTHOUGH. He has desperation vibes and I feel like he's never had a gf in his life, so he probably doesn't know how to handle relationship issues and would either totally break down when he have a disagreement, or would get frustrated bc he doesn't know how to process his feelings and run away leaving the issue unresolved.
9/10, I love my wholesome, try hard good boy. He can marry me
Sims
Literally just the nicest guy and a normal person, even after all he's been through. He likes to talk and be chill from what I've gathered in the campaign, plus he has a sense of humor. Only real issue is he seems a touch dusty and I need a mans who can match my fashion sense.
8/10 he's not my type, but honestly I'd give him a chance bc he seems like a genuine guy
Hudson
If not for his wife Jenny, Hudson guaranteed has never had a girlfriend and probably has never even really had anyone express interest in him. As though that isn't red flag enough, he literally looks like a government drone from like the matrix or some shit and has zero personality to match. His hobbies probably include collecting stamps and working. However, he's pretty respectful and I fell like I can't blame him for having no personality given his job position.
7/10 he can talk to me, but I'll probably get tired of being the only one with a sense of humor and fun
Adler
Lmao. This man is a walking novelty and I would only talk to him for the pure experience of it I after got done laughing at his corny looking ass behind his back with my besties. He may have the style, but his personality is too extroverted for me and I feel like I'd be drained after an hour of social interaction with him. Also, he gives me Fuck boy vibes and I hate that
6/10 I feel like I'm not his type anyway, but if he can be chill then idk sure ig
Lazar
Honestly, if I saw him in public I'd probably be either really intimidated or really attracted. He is equal parts big scary man and lovable goof vibes. However, he has even worse desperation vibes then Weaver and I feel like he's just looking to smash. Also, don't like how he kept trying to link with Park after getting shut down repeatedly.
5/10 depends on which side of him I see first ig, but I'm betting no
Alex Mason
This man has obvious mental damage and is an absentee father on top of that. Whatever inkling of a nice or sweet personality he may have/or have had doesn't even come close to making that up in my book. I'd probably make like that one lady Weaver set him up with and fear for my life the whole time we're together and then pray I never meet him again
3/10 his issues aren't entirely his fault, but that's not my problem. Sorry.
Woods
Ha. Woods literally looks like a wild, rabid dog at all times, has little to no sense of personal grooming, and probably smells like sweat and bo. Not to mention he is a hardcore marine with so much childhood baggage, general trauma, and warfare PTSD, it would take a professional construction crew working all hours non stop to "fix" this man, let alone me. He would make no time for a relationship and probably only wants to smash anyway, and if he can't do that with whoever he picks up at the bar, he'd probably hire a prostitute. I would not let this man within 10 feet of my person, which is probably good anyway because I feel like he'd call me a fat bitch after I reject him.
2/10 if he got some serious therapy and a personal hygiene routine I'd maaaaaaybe consider
Peck
Literally a narcissist and almost guaranteed an emotional abuser, not to mention he literally looks like a dog and has thinning hair at 45. Yikes. Honestly would laugh in his face if he asked me out, would walk away, glance one more time over my shoulder for a last hearty laugh, and keep going.
0/10 literally would traumatize me worse then my ex, and that's saying something
#black ops cold war#call of duty#russell adler#frank woods#jason hudson#grigori weaver#lawrence sims#eleazar azoulay#lazar#william peck#alex mason#david mason#black ops 2
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Request: Can I request an omegaverse hcs! with an s/o that has a habit of idk not track down the time and is really focus when she likes something. For example, binge watching or playing video games or reading books or etc so much that she's doesn't sleep. For Sakusa, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Bokuto, and Hinata?
I didn't make it into Omegaverse since there's no need to, but there is just no specific details about it. This is Sakusa, Akaashi, and Iwaizumi. The rest will be published later. I also apologize for releasing this so late - I've been busy with babysitting all day and the urge to write has been sapped by a small child.
Sakusa
> He starts off the list of boys who would not understand at first. He's always making sure he has everything in order and isn't losing track of time, so when he meets you he's a bit confused.
> At first, he chalks it up to you being very busy. Maybe your schedule overlaps with other things? He doesn't worry about it too much, often brushing it off. However, when he realizes that you're just doing things and you get lost in it.. he just can't understand.
> He'll try to understand, truly. He will set up a schedule for you, seeing how well you do with it. He's like a little therapist, setting alarms when you've been gaming for too long or have read over half a book in one sitting. His main problem is that you're not sleeping. Are you not tired? Why aren't you sleeping?
> As someone who's entire live and job revolves around his schedule and punctuality, it will probably get on his nerves sometimes. It's annoying because it's so different, especially when he wakes up and sees you're up.. eyes glued to the television. It's him sitting next to you with a steaming cup of coffee that snaps you out of your trance, looking to him and going 'o'.
Akaashi
> He's too anxious to forget about important things, especially sleep. He's probably exhausted at the end of the day just because he's absolutely drained from worrying all day. Then he meets you, who manages to forget to meet up for dates in the afternoon because a new show came out? You had to make pasta to watch the show? You're not even watching the show, instead browsing through social media???
> He ends up battling himself for a new reason: Is it annoying? Is it bad? Should he interfere? Is this a quirk of yours he will come to love as well? He doesn't know the answers to these, but he wants to. He wants to understand why you do it and love it as much as he loves the rest of you. In the beginning, he finds it annoying - well, less annoying or more exhausting.
> Like Sakusa, he'll try to help you set alarms, he'll limit time for you to do things, he'll try to have you manage your time wisely. When you take a break to watch your favorite show during dinner? He calls you if he's at work after an hour, telling you to turn off the TV and go back to doing homework/chores/something productive. He can't be 100% sure you're doing it, but he feels less anxious knowing you're aware of the passage of time.
> Honestly, this would probably really stress him out especially if you're losing sleep and forgetting important deadlines for school/work, because then he's worrying about it. It.. will probably escalate to a break up if you don't try to fix it. It raises his anxiety levels and makes him even more exhausted than before he met you and if he brings it up to his friends, they will probably tell him he needs to let you go.
Iwaizumi
> Another punctual one who's absolutely stumped when he finds this out. You're not sleeping? Playing too many video games? You're scrolling through social media when you woke up five hours ago? Have you even gotten up to go to the bathroom?! He's so worried about you and he's practically just met you!
> He's used to dealing with Oikawa who would watch countless videos on volleyball matches and end up sleeping two hours before everyone got up, but this is different. How? You're just watching people do DIY dioramas! You're still awake, getting ready for bed as he wakes up at 6 for his morning jog; why?
> However, unlike Sakusa and Akaashi, he finds it tiresome but not annoying. He acts like it's annoying, but it isn't. He actually finds it to be a challenge, feel me? He ends up doing what the others do, though, setting limits for you and trying to prevent things like this from happening. It gets annoying on your end because he's so overbearing and worried about you.
> He's jogging at 6. He's asleep at 10:30. Guess what? You're wrapped tightly in his arms as he goes to sleep and he'll be checking to see if you're asleep when he wakes. I feel like he's not one to move around in his sleep, so it's time to give in. He's also making dinner at specific times, making sure to condition your body into getting hungry at specific times. That way, even if he isn't there, you're hungry and you stop what you're doing. Smart cookie.
> He will stick with you. He, however, will make you adapt to changes. You're forgetting things? How fast time moves? He's going to make damn well sure you're more aware of it as you scroll through social media posts, looking at YouTube videos, even if he's training your body to be condition to specific cues. He is, however, a personal trainer.
#haikyuu x reader#BB.Requests#akaashi x reader#sakusa x reader#iwaizumi x reader#Iwaizumi.hcs#Sakusa.hcs#Akaashi.hcs#Mr. Keiji#Omi Omi#Mr. Kiyoomi#Mr. Hajime
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Hi KC readers,
We have decided to create a list of KC stories that were updated during the week which we plan to share every Friday. This is one of the ways we plan to promote different KC authors and stories in our community.
For our first weekly releases, we have collected stories on FFN and AO3 that were updated during the week of April 16 - April 10! We hope you enjoy the new stories.
Happy reading!
FFN
He's got you mesmerised (while i die)
Author: klavscaroline
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: You gave him your sweater, it's just polyester. But you like him better a.k.a. unrequited carolijah (high school au)
Date of update: April 10 2021
Klaus POV - The Trouble with Spells (chapter 20)
Author: ilovetf
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: The Trouble with Spells as seen through Klaus's eyes and his POV. Over the years, people kept liking this story and some even asked for Klaus POV, so I decided to give it a try. Hope you enjoy it. All feedback is more than welcome. Good or bad.
Date of update: April 10 2021
Black Roses (Chapter 29)
Author: xKlaroStylesx
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Vampires, witches and werewolves are welcomed at the Whitmore Academy for the Supernaturally Gifted but that doesn't mean they all welcome each other. Ambitious student witch Caroline Forbes shares a mutual loathing with arrogant yet mysterious vampire Klaus Mikaelson. A spiral of events occur when their two dueling worlds collide and a life changing connection is formed.
Date of update: April 13 2021
Our darkest moments (Chapter 8)
Author: CookieDuo
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Discovering her entire life has been a lie, Caroline is determined to find out the truth and travels to the small town Mystic Falls in search of answers. Meanwhile, in the woods outside of Mystic Falls, a "monster" prays on unsuspecting young woman. In time the connection between the two becomes clear... Dark Klaroline!
Date of update: April 14 2021
A Failed Sacrifice (Chapter 3)
Author: CookieDuo
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: She ruined the sacrifice to save her own life, and in order to survive she turned to the only other vampire who'd been able to survive the wrath of Klaus Mikaelson. She gets away, and learns from the master, but when Klaus eventually catches up to her, her life will never be the same again.
Date of update: April 16 2021
AO3
Always Finding Trouble
Author: Cupcakemolotov
Raiting: M
Length: Drabble
Summary: Assassins in love were so cliche, but here she was. Married, even.
Date of update: April 10 2021
In Your Hands
Author: ThrowMeAStory
Raiting: E
Lenght: Drabble
Summary: 4x16 au, Part 6. The date.
Date of update: April 10 2021
The blood in your mouth
Author: perfectpro
Raiting: T
Lenght: Drabble
Summary: After Liz Forbes's untimely death, Caroline finds herself at the helm of her mother's empire. She's been trained for this role, but Klaus Mikaelson is a man she hadn't known to expect.
Date of update: April 10 2021
I AM SORRY BABY 2
Author: wincefish16
Raiting: Not rated
Lenght: Drabble
Summary: CONTINUATION OF I AM SORRY BABY. THIS WILL FOCUS ON KLAUS'S CHEMO AND THE PROBLEMS THAT COME WITH IT.
Date of update: April 11 2021
Give Me A Sign (Chapter 2)
Author: PumpkinDoodles
Raiting: M
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Caroline Forbes is happy that she left founders' parties, competition over guys she'd known since elementary school, and even Mystic Falls itself behind years ago. She's not second-best to Elena anymore. Even Liz would be proud of her new life working on the side of the law. Mostly. (If you need to compel someone into giving up stolen goods, is it really a crime?). Of course he's the one person from her past who comes looking for her. Klaus does that.
Date of update: April 11 2021
The Wolf II (Chapter 31)
Author: Yokan
Raiting: E
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: The Guerreras' threat still looms over the Mikaelson house as Caroline tries to adapt to life as a vampire, away from her daughter. But an unexpected family reunion makes everything worse, taking away the little peace Klaus, Caroline and Elijah managed to find after the war that nearly broke them. [It's The Originals Season 2, but Caroline was a witch, had Klaus' baby and now she's a vampire. Klaroline, obviously.]
Date of update: April 11 2021
A smutty anniversary (Chapter 5)
Author: kcatdino
Raiting: E
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Caroline and Klaus celebrate 3 months together with a day full of smut.
Date of update: April 11 2021
One of a Kind, Two of a Kind, or the Three Musketeers (Chapter 9)
Author: Phandancee74
Raiting: T
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Caroline recognizes how hard it is for Elena to be a doppelgänger, her fate predestined as well as her face. It's pretty tough being the last of your kind too though, and Caroline is determined to protect them both, with some very helpful Bennetts on their side. A fic that integrates Malivore and the larger supernatural universe into TVD from the start.
Date of update: April 11 2021
Humanity (Chapter 8)
Author: FandomizedArtist
Raiting: Not rated
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Now with the power of an Original vampire Lucien had everything, everything except his complete revenge on the all mighty Klaus Mikaelson. With the help of a witch he had tracked down the only woman who in thousands of years Klaus had fallen in love with. Miss Caroline Forbes. Adding her name to his list of evil todo’s he created the plan to kidnap, drain the vervain and compel the newbie vampire to be his. In this fanfiction Klaus does have hope but Caroline did not have Alaric’s twins.
Date of update: April 12 2021
Magics Miracle (Chapter 5)
Author: 1Jemmagirl22
Raiting: T
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Caroline is in Paris with out her humanity after the death of her mother. It seems her friends aren't happy with her new state so they inform the one person capable of turning her emotions back on. Klaus. When a prophecy about a second Tribrid comes about in New Orleans, shock to sweeps through the city. It seems nature doesn't consider Hope such an abomination after all as an even greater one is about to be created. The hands of power are changing and when they're done even the worlds most powerful witches won't be able to stop it.
Date of update: April 12 2021
We are young (Chapter 11)
Author: kcatdino
Raiting: T
Lenght: One shots
Summary: Basically, Klaroline flirt in front of their kids who they are barely older than, and Landon is appropriately confused. Edit: Now a series of one-shots!
Date of update: April 12 2021
When Blood Calls for Blood
Author: Cupcakemolotov
Raiting: M
Lenght: Drabble
Summary: At sixteen, Caroline helped kill monsters. Hers, his, and theirs. Ten years later, and Klaus returns to Mystic Falls with unfinished business.
Date of update: April 12 2021
The War of Succession
Author: BelleMorte180
Raiting: E
Lenght: One shot
Summary: When King William I dies without a living male child, the whole of England spends two generations at war over who is the true heir to the throne, sending the houses of Lockwood and Mikaelson into battle. When the love of her life is slain in battle, Caroline realizes that her hand is betrothed to the victor since she is the only grandchild of the late king. Upon her wedding to the new king, she vows that she will hate him for all eternity but time is a fickle thing and so it the heart. Written for Au Season Enemies to Lovers. Kind of based off the War of the Roses.
Date of update: April 14 2021
Some ancient call that i've answered before (Chapter 2)
Author: klarrolines
Raiting: T
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: According to Greek mythology, humans were created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. Or all the lives throughout time that Klaus and Caroline found each other in.
Date of update: April 14 2021
Soulmate visions (Chapter 3)
Author: kcatdino
Raiting: T
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: On your soulmate's eighteenth birthday, you see through their eyes for an hour, but they don’t know. And if your soulmate turns eighteen before you are even born, you never get a vision. Klaus gets his soulmate vision right after he orders Tyler to bite Caroline on her birthday.
Date of update: April 15 2021
World Enough and Time
Author: perfectpro
Raiting: E
Lenght: Drabble
Summary: Caroline is perfection in and of itself, and Klaus thinks that he could search the world twice over and never find a creature so endlessly fascinating, so perfectly enigmatic that he is still finding things to learn about her a thousand years later. Or, what gift is suitable to celebrate the passing of a thousand years?
Date of update: April 15 2021
LITTLE TENSE
Author: wincefish16
Raiting: T
Lenght: Drabble
Summary: PROMPT- HUMAN MARRIED KLAROLINE. THINGS ARE NOT LOOKING GOOD IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP. DAMON IS CAROLINE'S BROTHER AND KLAUS'S BEST FRIEND. HE TRIES TO FIX THINGS BETWEEN THEM.
Date of update: April 15 2021
Reasons Not to Date a Mikaelson (Chapter 2)
Author: kcatdino
Raiting: T
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Bonnie and Caroline gain a new roommate for their freshman dorm when a vision leads them to tracking down a pregnant Hayley in the Rockies. Also, Bonnie may or may not have raised a certain dead Original instead of Jeremy and Klaus takes a job at Whitmore teaching, to be annoying. He’s very good at it. This is a season 5 rewrite where the Originals never leave for New Orleans. But you know, with comedy.
Date of update: April 15 2021
Quiet Light (Chapter 4)
Author: coveredinthecolors
Raiting: E
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Caroline Forbes sets off to the Bahamas with her boyfriend, Elijah, where she'll finally meet his brother for the first time. But as it turns out... she knows Klaus Mikaelson a little too well.
Date of update: April 16 2021
AO3: Contingency Plan (Chapter 3)
FFN: Contingency Plan (Chapter 3)
Author: Eliliyah
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: When Stefan's idiocy threatens Caroline's carefully laid plans, she has no choice but to turn to Klaus Mikaelson for help. Unfortunately, the criminal king of Philadelphia won't be swayed by simple seduction and has a different kind of proposition for her. It's a good thing she has a contingency plan. Never try to overthrow an empire without one. Dark Klaroline Mafia AU. COMPLETE
Date of update: April 11 2021
AO3: Last Love
FFN: Last Love
Author: kirti_01
Raiting: M
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Klaus had promised to be her last love, was sure that Caroline, will come to him. Maybe in a year, or a 100, perhaps. But Caroline decides not to wait for that long. After graduation, Caroline moves in with Klaus to give her feelings for him a chance. And Elijah finally lets go of his obsession with Katherine and finds himself attracted to a university student, his student, a human named Samara.
Date of update: April 12 2021
AO3: A Beautiful Symmetry (Chapter 153)
FFN: A Beautiful Symmetry (Chapter 153)
Author: Uppity Bitch
Rating: M
Length: One shot
Summary: A collection of random AU one-shots featuring Klaroline. *2019 KC Award - Best one-shot series* Chapter 153: The Blonde Identity. Spies on opposite sides always had one mission, and nothing should ever compromise an operation. But Klaus always had a weakness for a woman who wore murder in her eyes.
Date of update: April 14 2021
AO3: Always and Forever (Chapter 8)
FFN: Always and Forever (Chapter 8)
Author: WingedLadyColette
Raiting: E
Lenght: Multi chapter
Summary: Always and Forever is put to the test when the Mikaelson siblings all gather together once more to throw the balance of nature into disarray when the Petrova Doppelganger reappears once again in a little Virginia town of Mystic Falls. But that's not the only thing that catches the big bad wolf's attention.
Date of update: April 16 2021
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All Night Long - Alex Mason X Reader
Hey y'all, finally a Mason x reader from me. Not gonna lie, was really nervous for this one. I really hope you guys enjoy this!! As always, thank you all for all the love and support.
TW: Strong language, lots of fluff!!!
You despised the dating scene, and you didn't want to be a part of it anymore. Not after the last blind date your best friend, Helen Park set you up with. You know she meant good but..... It didn't end well.
That blind date tried to get you to join his religious cult, and move you to a different country. Not to mention, he had no respect or boundaries. This didn't fly with you.
So when you found yourself going on another blind date that Russell Adler set up, you were nervous.
*FLASHBACK*
"Oh Y/N, come on! This is a perfect color for you. He'll love it I swear. Just trust me!" Park said, a whine in her voice as she stood beside you, watching you do your makeup.
You turned quickly and threw a small glance in her direction. You cocked an eyebrow and went back to finishing your eyeshadow.
"Helen, I trust you don't get me wrong. But, I don't think the color white will suit me. You on the other hand looking stunning in white. I need some color, like this black Bon Jovi shirt!" You said with excitement, holding up a cut-off crop top of Bon Jovi.
She sighed and checked her watch. Now she was ready to get a move on!
"Y/N, you have exactly 51 minutes to get finished and meet him in town. I don't want to seem like the type of friend to rush you, but I'm rushing you. And not to mention when Adler comes back in he'll probably have your head." She said, sipping her wine.
You rolled your eyes, took the white outfit from her, and got changed into it. After you did, she looked at you up and down and gasped. She let out a small cheer and clapped.
"Oh my, Y/N you look breathtaking!!! ADLER!!!" She yelled.
He came back in and knocked first. He stepped in and smiled when he saw you.
"You look, great kid. Your date is going to fall through the floor." He said, lighting a cigarette.
You smiled and gave a twirl for them. You fixed up some last-minute makeup and hair and decided on a vintage pair of black and white heels. They complimented the dress.
Park handed you your purse, keys to your car, and some perfume. You sprayed some and you went over to the coat rack and grabbed a small jacket for the evening.
"Wait, hold on," Adler said. He reached into his pockets and handed you $100.
"Here. This is for beating my ass in Poker the other day. I figured you'd want it just in case." Adler said, also getting ready to leave.
"Thank you, Adler. Well, thank you both. I'm excited to see who he is!" You exclaimed.
You grabbed the keys to your 1983 Black Chevy Chevelle, finished with two white racing stripes down the middle of the hood. Adler let out a low whistle when he saw that beauty sitting in your garage.
"Y/N, where have you been hiding this gorgeous thing? Why don't you drive her more often? It's badass!" He exclaimed.
You chuckled and got in.
"Well, I only take her for special occasions. She's precious to me you know?" You started the car, and both Park and Adler cheered you on as you drove out of your driveway, and a way to the coffee bar you went to!
You were 5 minutes early. You parked your car and got out. You walked to the doors and stopped right before getting in. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself how everything was going to be alright.
You began walking again and opened the door. The coffee shop was small, yet immaculate and pristine. It seemed busy at the moment, and you began looking around for booth 10.
That's where you both agreed to meet, booth 10. You still had no idea who this man was. All you hoped for was someone who didn't want to kidnap you. You scanned the place until you saw booth ten.
There was a man already at it. His head was turned from yours, so you could only see his behind. You began walking towards him, your heels clicking on the floor beneath you the whole time.
As you got closer, you noticed how familiar the back of this man looked, especially the hair. But there was no possible way it was who YOU thought it was. That is.....
Until his head turned, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You both locked eyes and his jaw hit the floor.
It was none other than Alex Mason himself. So this is who Adler set you up with. Damn him! You thought. How did he know that you liked Mason??
"Y/N? You're my date?" Alex choked out.
You had to admit, he looked very handsome. He wore a nice dress shirt, black slacks, and wing-tipped shoes, polished to where you could see your reflection.
His hair was slicked back, and he had a clean shave. This man just single-handedly did that, he did.
"Well, Mason, it looks like I am. It's good to see you!" You said, taking a seat.
Mason also took his seat and passed you a menu.
"Get anything you want, it's on me. Also Y/N, can I just say.. " Mason trailed off. You nodded.
"You look so beautiful tonight. I-I mean you always do but tonight you are stunning. Also, is that your Chevelle in the parking lot??" He questioned.
You were blushing so hard at this moment. All you could do was nod your head until you looked him right in the eye.
"Well thank you, Mason, same for you. And yes it is! All original too."
The rest of the date went well after that. Soon, dates became a regular thing!
*END FLASHBACK*
*Timeskip, 6 months later*
Today was a horrible day for you. You had a long day with Adler in a bad mood. And everyone knows that doesn't usually end well. Lucky for you, you got the 'easy job.'
Organizing everything in his office into Alphabetical order, everything. Documents, books, records, hell even receipts of his.
All you wanted was to go home and call Mason. Your's relationship bloomed very well, and now it's 6 months deep! You got to your older car and put the key in the ignition.
You almost cried when you heard it didn't roll over, you just had a crank and click. So, that means the battery is most likely drained. And now everyone went home because you stayed late to finish the work Adler gave you.
You got out with your things and walked to Mason's house a few miles from HQ. Of course, today was the day you wore heels for a press conference. Now your feet were killing you, and you had about an hour walk in. But, you kept going until you heard a car beep behind you.
You turned to look, and see Mason. You went right over to him and slid into his passenger seat. He looked at you confused and worried.
"Honey, what happened? Why are you walking?" He asked sweetly.
You told him everything and he gave you a sympathetic look and hug. You didn't want to let go but he did.
"Well, why don't you come over. We'll find you more comfortable clothes to wear." He said, driving off.
You smiled and enjoyed the ride. You both talked about so many things on the way. You were nervous though.
You and Mason, at his house alone? It felt strange. But, you were ready for a possible couch nap.
He pulled in the driveway and got out. You also stepped out and looked over the small house.
"I rent the place for now until I find what I want," Mason said.
He opened the front door for you, and you stepped in. You walked in and saw a lot of pictures of you both together, or pictures of you.
You slipped your shoes off and sat down. You already felt such relief, you could fall asleep.
"Hey, take a nap if you need. I'll wake you back up, I promise." Mason smiled at you. You covered yourself with a nearby blanket, and out you went.
Eventually, you woke up, Mason asleep beside you. You saw nothing but darkness out the windows, and you scrambled to wake Mason up.
"Hey, it's late. I should probably go." You said, gathering your stuff.
"Wait, Y/N! It's late, why don't you stay here tonight?" Mason asked.
You blushed and nodded at him. He shot you a big smile back, setting your stuff down.
"I'll take the couch, you can sleep in my bed. It's comfortable!" Mason offered. This honestly kind of broke your heart a little.
"Or, how about we share a bed? It's not a big deal Mason. No need for anyone to wake up with a sore back." You said.
Mason laughed and nodded. He led you to his room and went over to his closet. He grabbed you a shirt and some shorts.
"Here, you can sleep in these. The bathroom is the farthest door on the left. I'll take you to fix your car in the morning." He said.
You went and changed into the comfy clothes, and came back to his room. Mason lay on one side of the bed and slipped the covers back for you.
You climbed right in and looked over at him.
"Cuddle me tonight?" You asked with a whimpering tone.
He nodded and pulled you close. Soon, you both drifted off to sleep with ease. What a good first night together.
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One Shot
Character: Bucky Barnes
Summary: Bucky is recovering with the help of his always-happy neighbor.
_____________________________________
Something good
Bucky grunted exhausted, the TV was on and the disturbing voices from his nightmare kept banging inside his head. He looked up his ceiling, he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again, that was for sure, and even if it was not right to think it he repeat it to himself, "i deserve it" he deserved being deprived from sleep, he deserved being taunted by the people he have killed all this years.
He looked at his phone watch , 6:16 am, he decided to get up and go running, exercising helped him a lot, it was useful to drain all his super soldier energy, at least partially.
After an hour running his stomach made a noise indicating he needed to stop and get food, he looked at his phone. Just in time. He returned to his apartment, hopefully she would be up now.
A knock on his door was his signal. He opened the door an a small woman greeted him with the most charming smile he had seen.
"Eva" he said copying her smile.
"Bucky! Breakfast is done, come quickly before it gets cold" she grabbed his hand and dragged him from his apartment to her own, wich was beside his. The warm feeling spreading inside his body from her touch.
The aroma of bacon invaded his nostrils making him almost drool. After he have spent so many years eating the synthetic food from Hydra, simple things for most of people like bacon, pancakes, hamburgers were delicacies to him.
"It smell delicious Eva, I'm starving" he sat on his usual spot. His breakfast looked so good, but being honest, to him everything she prepared was marvelous.
A small blush covered her cheeks and she gave him a shy nod.
"Thank you, I hope it taste as good too" she commented back while sitting on the other chair.
"I know it will taste good, as always" he replied.
She smiled watching him eat his food, she ate from her plate.
"How did you sleep?" Eva asked sipping from her cup. Her eyes examining his face, reading him.
He shrugged.
"It could be worse" He said, and he knew it was true.
"I see, well you can blame me for that, I shouldn't have cancelled our game night" Eva said, some nights they stayed with each other and played some board games or games she had downloaded on her laptop.
"I missed beating you up on Mario Kart" She joked, it was really entertaining watching Bucky trying not to push the buttons hard with his metallic fingers.
He looked at her joyful face, her eyes sparked with light, the only light he had in his life. But he couldn't miss the dark circles formed under her eyes.
"What did he want?" His question hit her with force, her mouth twitched in discomfort.
"He gave me an extra shift, Sara had a domestic emergency. I was the only one available" she explained, her boss found a way to make her stay at work almost every night, she was getting sick of it but it was her job and it payed the rent.
"you're overworking yourself, he can't keep making you stay extra time every day" he shook his head in disapproval.
"I know, but it's okay" she told him calmly "at least it's Friday, I can rest this weekend."
He nodded not convinced.
"Sam called me again." He informed abruptly. He knew he had to answer his calls sooner than later, but he couldn't.
"He's worried about you" she commented quite concerned.
"He doesn't have to be"
"You have to tell him that then" Eva watched the frown in his face, sure it was easy for her to say it but she knew that for him it implied much more. She didn't knew the reason though.
"Wanna watch the news with me?" She asked hopefully. Eva loved being with Bucky, he was a great companion.
"Sure" Bucky said walking to her sofa. He thanked her for the food and turned on the TV.
She sat beside him and his arm flew around her shoulders, Eva rested her head on his chest with her hand on his abdomen. Bucky thought how he became used to this type of affection, when they watched TV or stayed at night talking they always ended up snuggling. He couldn't complain, Bucky loved holding her in his arms, touching her.
"I like you Bucky" she confessed. This wasn't the first time she had said it to him.
He smiled.
"I like you too, doll" she giggled and hugged him harder, he returned the hug.
Bucky looked the hour on her wall clock. He had to leave soon.
"I gotta go, Eva" He said, the disappointment clear in his voice.
"I know, it's okay" she replied with a smile "We can spend the weekend together if you want"
His eyes shined hearing the promise.
"I would love that"
They said each other goodbye and Bucky went to his appointment, the therapist wouldn't like him being late. When he arrived he entered the room and took a sit. The woman entered just after him.
"Hello, James" she greeted him while she sat across him.
"Hi, doc." he said.
"Let's get started, how are you doing?" She asked watching him.
"I'm fine" he replied and it was true, he was feeling good, the nightmare left his mind as soon as Eva appeared on his apartment.
"I can see that, have you had any nightmare?" She inquired back.
He stayed silent. Then nodded.
"Want to tell me what it was about?" She asked again.
"I would prefer not to" he spoke hoping she wouldn't pressure him.
She looked quizzically at him, studying his movements.
"It helps some people talking about what it's disturbing them, Bucky" She informed. "To share the burden with someone"
"I know" He replied, he remembered telling Eva his dreams, she listened to him but her eyes where the most important, they never reflected hatred or disgust for the things he did in his dreams or should he said memories?
"Have you spoken to Sam?" He shook his head in negation.
"Bucky, you need to star meeting new people or contacting your old friends" she suggested. A pang of hurt stick on him remembering Steve.
"I have met knew people" he said instantly, the words spilling from his mouth. His therapist looked quite surprised but she disguised it well.
"Yeah? Tell me their names" she inquired.
"Eva" he mentioned. The doctor looked at his eyes trying to find if it was a lie.
"Where did you met her?"
"She's my neighbor, she is nice to me" he informed his eyes looking directly at her.
The women smiled content with the answer.
"Great, how much time do you spend with her?" This was a critical question, to know if they were becoming friends or were just being polite to each other.
He doubted answering. They spent a lot of time together.
"We have breakfast together, everyday" he answered omitting their others activities.
"Well that sounds good Bucky, it's a progress" she informed. The thought of him spending time with another person relieved her, he was trying.
He smiled, it was indeed a good progress. Eva was a positive addition to his life, she made his day brighter and his heart warmer. He could visualize her in his life.
"What are you thinking James?" The doctor asked him, knowing exactly what was happening.
He snapped back and his face blushed, he cleared his throat.
"Nothing, I think my hour has ended" he told her. She looked at her clock. It was true.
"I think we are done for this day, James. I'm happy you have know someone new, it's good for you to make a friends" she explained while he walked to the door. He nodded."You deserve good, Mr. Barnes".
"Goodbye, doc." he walked out.
It was good for him. Maybe he deserved something good after all he has done. Maybe.
#Bucky Barnes#James Buchanan Barnes#Oneshot#imagine#recovery#therapist#The Falcon and the winter soldier#love#friendship#winter soldier#helping#friend#one shot
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Slow Descent: Chapter 4: Bring Me a Dream (Or Would You Prefer a Nightmare?)
Day 4 entry for @hatchetober
Prompt: Song
Ao3
Arlen races through the Witchwood, bursting through low limbs and bushes. The low hanging limbs and thorns shred his clothes like paper to claw desperately at his skin. Blood oozes from the stinging cuts. Fearfully, he glances behind him.
Wiley's strolling leisurely behind him, tossing and catching a rotting green apple as he moves. From his cruel, twisted lips, he croons a haunting rendition of Mr. Sandman.
No matter how fast Arlen seems to run, Wiley keeps gaining. The sound of the song just gets closer and closer-
With a gasp, Arlen's eyes fly open. His chest heaves, as if he really were just running. His eyes dart around wildly, taking in the suede furniture, the plush rug, and the fireplace before he realizes he's at home. He takes several deep breaths before sitting up on the couch. He grabs his phone to check the time. 6:47pm. Cursing, he scrubs a hand up his face. He must have dozed off.
The past few days have been rough. He had tried to convince himself that he had bought that apple during his last grocery trip. That had been believable enough. He liked apples. He must have grabbed it that morning and set it on the counter. Easy enough, he's scatterbrained sometimes. He probably meant to take it with him as a snack when he went to meet Duke and, in his anticipation, forgot about it. He wants to believe that, but no matter how many times he repeats it, he can't shake how wrong it is.
He stands, groaning as he stretches out. He needs to get out of this house. He can't count how many hours he's stared at the Polaroid on the fridge and thought about what Duke told him. He needs some fresh air, something to get his mind off of it.
-
Arlen sits at the scratched up bar of the Birdhouse, sipping a whiskey sour. The smokey air might not be fresh, but it's still a welcome change. His eyes scan the bar idly.
"Lookin' for somebody in particular?" Comes a smokey voice from beside him.
He twists around on the barstool to an older woman with a bad blonde dye job and mousy roots. Her lips are painted almost an offensive shade of red. Her tank top fits tightly in an unflattering way.
"No, I'm not," Arlen answers before taking another sip. She was probably gorgeous when she was younger. She has gorgeous blue eyes, the beauty offset by deep crows feet.
"Well…" she leans towards him, her breasts almost falling out of her top. "If you was smart, you'd be looking for me." She winks before ordering a beer.
This is a mistake. Arlen recognizes that clear as day. He leans in as well. "Oh? And who would you be?"
"My name's Pamela," she answers in a sultry voice. She looks him up and down, her bright red lips curling in a pleased smirk. "I ain't see you around, hot stuff. Who are you?"
"I'm Arlen." He watches in distaste as she reaches into her purse and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. "I moved here not too long ago."
Pamela accepts her beer from the bartender and takes a deep drink. "Oh yeah?" She takes a drag from her cigarette. "What brought you round to these parts?"
"Work," he answers vaguely.
That doesn't seem to bother her. She drains her beer quickly before giving him a predatory grin. "How's abouts me 'n' you get outta here and I can show you some real good hospitality." She winks again as she brings her cigarette to her lips.
That is definitely a bad idea. Arlen gets the bartender's attention and pays for his and Pamela's drinks.
"So, did you drive here?" Pamela asks as they step out of the Birdhouse.
"No," Arlen lies easily, "Did you?"
She leads him over to an old, beat up pick up truck. Almost reluctantly. Arlen climbs into the passenger side.
A short ride later, Pamela pulls into the yard of a small, rundown trailer near the back of a trailer park. Arlen considers bolting as soon as he steps out of the truck. Instead, he finds himself following Pamela up the stairs into the trailer.
Once inside, Arlen looks around cautiously. It seems clean enough. He takes a few steps forward before the sound of a ukulele reaches him, carrying the sounds of Mr. Sandman. He looks in horror, expecting to see Wiley standing in the trailer's narrow hall.
"For God's sale," Pamela mutters before raising her voice to an obnoxious yell. "Nanners, fuckin' knock it off or I swear-"
A door down the hall swings open and out storms a familiar looking teenager. "Don't fucking talk to her like that!" She seethes as she steps into the living room. She catches sight of Arlen and scoffs. "Oh, so now you're bringing men back here? Fan-fucking-tastic move, Mom."
"This is my home, Lex, and I'll do what I damn well please !" Pamela shouts back. "You're lucky I still let you live here, you ungrateful-"
Arlen starts backing up for the door. He glances down the hall to see a younger girl peeking out from around a doorframe. Her dark, serious eyes and braids are also familiar. He can't quite place-
"Hey! Stop fucking looking at her, you creep!" Lex shouts at him, moving to block his view of the hall.
Pamela yells something unintelligible as she grabs Lex's arm. Arlen doesn't bother hanging around. He opens the door and darts out, letting the door slam behind him.
He jogs back to the Birdhouse. He doesn't slow until he sees his car in the parking lot. He stops beside the Corvette, doubled over as he breathes heavily.
It's not until he's back home, scrubbing the smell of smoke off his body, that he remembers: the girl was the one who mentioned the Witchwood and Lex was the one in the Toy Zone vest beside her.
He turns off the shower, thinking hard. He definitely doesn't want to be around Pamela Foster again. He could go to Toy Zone to ask Lex if he could speak to the girl, but judging how she's reacted to him, that's not a good idea either.
He needs to find out more about that family.
Note: I am falling behind. I am so sorry. Arlen Mercier is my original character, please do not use without my permission.
#slow descent#arlen mercier#hatchetober 2021#hatchetfield universe#black friday#tgwdlm#starkid#nightmare time#pamela foster#lex foster#hannah foster#fic
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Changes.
When you're told your new schedule and it doesn't sit right with you, at all, let it be known. Ask if you could change it. Don't be afraid to stand up for your rights.
I understand we all have families and want or need certain days off, but don't use YOUR life as a reason as to WHY I can't have certain days off for MY family time. Yes, it sucks not seeing your daughter for more than 5 minutes, but you also signed up for that role when you became the title you are. That has nothing to do with me. Straight up - stop trying to justify the wrongfulness in the scenario.
Also, don't tell me that the way I came about it isn't "right." Like, we're all entitled to our feelings, and if I disagree, in that moment, I'm going to come at you with how I'm feeling. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do, but understand, these changes literally just fucked up so many peoples lives and all you see is the anger behind it. It's a lot to take in in a short period of time, and you're expecting everyone to change what they had planned, IF anything, to accommodate this damn company.
Number one, there's not many calls. Number two, 9:30-6:30, really? Number three, no weekends off - ever - UNLESS you find someone who would be willing to change with you. (Not here - NOT HERE) So, I'm fucked. And I don't agree with it at all. Number four, it goes into effect THIS weekend, MEANING I get 1 day off, and now my scheduled days off are Tues-Wed. Nope. Don't agree. And it's unfair to those who get weekends off, at least one day out of it, every weekend, where my "team" is having to surrender to be there on both weekend days. No! Number five, who the fuck is Corina and why hasn't she introduced herself so we know who our TL is? It's a major shit show and it's overflowing.
Please, stop telling me that things are being taken into consideration if you're still seeing certain people there who have done wrongful things. Just, don't. I don't have time to play these games of literally spilling my heart out and providing my feelings to "hope" things change. It's not going to, it's just not.
Don't tell me that in this CC, if you're not on a phone call that your money is going to be deducted from your check. Meaning, your call time is your check. Not your actual "in building" time. Nah. That doesn't sit right with me. It's hourly PLUS commission. It shouldn't be based on how long you're in queue for taking calls. If that's the case, I'm out. I'm done. Because, if I have personal issues to take care of, yet I'm still in that building, you're telling me that I'm not gonna get paid for my time being there because I'm not taking a call? Naaaaaaah.
I've never heard of ANY place ANYwhere that has said, "you're only getting paid for the time you're PHYSICALLY WORKING." But yet, I'm held hostage in a toxic environment for eight hours. SMH. Not one damn job I've had has EVER said that. If you're in that building, you're getting paid. Because! In this case, nobody would just be freeballin', walking around, if they KNEW that the phone calls was their paycheck.
Also, thanks for letting me know that my help is appreciated, but stop doing it. Yeah - let's just keep the frustration happening. Not just with me, but the customers and the agents having to wait on slow ass people to either walk over to you or possibly answer in the Q. Nobody pays attention to detail, so we'll be there all day with no assistance. But, you want me to stop? K, tell me to my face. Thank you. I won't do it anymore. But, it's "appreciated." Again, makes no sense. But OK.
I'm mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, and physically over stepping foot into that damn building, with these dumb and rude people, with these dumb policies and procedures, that don't change anything.
"There's only two people who can terminate someone and their always busy. One is getting pulled everywhere and one is always in a meeting." Okay - so, why can't anyone else write someone up and tell them something? *shrug*
It's not even worth talking about anymore beyond this post, today.
I'm waiting for an interview phone call / text to set one up. And you know what? I'm taking it if I get offered. I'm D. O. N. E. here. Done.
There's never gonna be enough people to make it fully staffed, meaning, no moving up. Everyone is overwhelmed and upset about something that nobody stays. It's an ongoing cycle of people never returning. And, I'm next on that list.
Let's just finish up AT LEAST this week and see how it goes. 🤞 Fingers crossed I get called for that interview ASAP cause once Sunday hits, who knows if I'm gonna agree to the changes.
GTFO & GFY.
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Info.1
I have a thing for long middle names 😓 So... Yeah.... @ me.
(I have been working on this story for a while. And yes. I'm still working on it. So I hope you enjoy ☺️)
And if you don't like music or dancing this is probably not the story for you.
Also if you have any questions about this story. Feel free to message or ask me.
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Name: Ayama, Candace Coco Tsukihana Yuri Yin Mizuki Mami Loto Ethereal Euphoria Azul Jacaranda Wisteria, Aizawa
•
Gender: Female
Status:Alive
Future hero name: Luna Lyric
Job: Student at U.A
Age: 14
*15*
Sexuality: Bisexual
Siblings:0 (1: Eri)
Birthday: October 15th
Quirks: 4
Element: Moon
|Afro-Asian
Blood type: O-
Height: 5'3
Birth place: Kanagawa Prefecture
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Father: Shōta Aizawa
•
Pro Hero name: Eraser head
Job: UA teacher, Pro hero
Gender: Male
Status: Alive
Pro hero: Yes
Siblings: 1
Age: 30
*31*
Birthday: November 8
Quirk(s): Eraser
Children: 1(Class 1-A plus Eri and Shinso)
|Japanese
Blood type: B
Height: 6'0
Birth place: Japan, Tokyo
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Mother: Kesshō, Amara Soleada Amaterasu Celestia Hinata Himawari Kim Nala Ipomoea Peony Nubia Rosa, Aizawa {Itō (Shigaraki)}
(Took her mother last name before marriage and so did her siblings for family reasons.)
•
Pro Hero name: Merodī
Job: Unknown
Status: Unknown
Pro hero: Yes
Gender: Female
Age: 28
*29*
Birthday: July 23rd.
Siblings: 7
Quirks: 5
Children: 1(Class 1-A plus Eri and Shinso)
Element: Sun
Quirks: Vocals, Mind eyes*, Languages, Mystical parts, and Emotions.
|Biracial(mother) African(american) and Japanese (father)Japanese.
Blood type: O-
Height: 5'8½
Birth place: Japan, Niigata Prefecture
(Brown skin)
~~~
(A little easter egg when looking up the prefecture numbers. I didn't catch it until later on making the chapters of this story.)
~~~
Ayama Aizawa Info:
Quirks: Mystical, Plunder, Vocals, Mind eyes*.
~~~
Mystical(2 intro)
(most likely to get later on in the chapters or the movie chapters)
:Tricky bunny, tricky deer, tricky cat, stars, blue and black butterflies wings, black owl wings, mermaid, and element soul (Lunaria/Lunar).
Plunder: Can take someone power using her eyes, but it's can only last for about 15 minutes. Not when she borrowing the person quirks or quirk, it can drain that person a bit. Bit when she can stop that person from using their quirk
Weakness: eyes starts to dry after those 14 or 15 minutes pass.
Vocals: Her songs/singing can make her summon things she'll need in battle. Her mind and make the beat or melody of the song she singing or she wants.
Weakness: Her voice can get tired or worn out after 1 hour and 30minute, because of how she changes her vocals when singing.
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Mind eyes (Has a connection with Vocals)
First eyes/telling eye: Can update hers Quirk or others people Quirk. Can tell what element they have by the pupil of the person eye. Earth= leaf pupils and a half leaf.
Second eyes/pitch black eyes: Can make things that aren't harmful, harmful. (Ball of yarn into a ball of yarn that a bomb.)
Third eyes/ Glow eyes: Depends on movement of her hands and feet. She doesn't have to sing when using this one. But it does give her a boost.
Fourth/Cloud eyes: Can heal people with a cut or damage people if they already have a cut.
Fifth eyes/ Element eyes: Theses eyes can make her "crazy". Without her support item (Choker) It will be very difficult to control.
Sixth eyes/Horror eyes: If filled with rage. She will snap. It can turn out to be blood war. Her activating would be 1%. So it would be pretty infrequent for her to activate it.
Signs of weakness: When her veins start to turn black. It means she used to much of her Quirk. Any futher or if she over use her power. She'll be out for a few days.It's starts from the neck and reach to her feet. Same things goes for her mystical quirk.
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Appearance: Brown skin, Lilac purple eyes, long eyelashes, dark/midnight blue hair, plump lips, arch straight eyebrows.
Personality: Is usually a chill and a nice person.
Bonuses(pass down from generations): Languages: knows all languages even anicent
Hair Growth: can grow her hair different lengths.
Skills: dancing, singing, and combat fighting.
Fun facts: Since her mother has emotions for a Quirk, her white pupils can change shape, but Sometimes can be unaware. For an example: tear drops pupils if she sad.
Hair texture: Ranges between 3a-4c. When she has wash days her curl pattern change. But if really sad or even depress. Her hair will turn flat until she back to her normal self.
Likes: Skating, Gaming, Music, Fantasy, Drawing, and her blue blanket.
Favorite foods: Seafood, Strawberries, Mangoes, Vanilla sweets, cookie dough, Cheesy food, and Jambalaya
Dislike: Ignorant people, tea, conflict, and plain food, watermelon, and french fries.
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
#Pets: Two
Animal: Cat
Name:Leo
Breed: Main coon
Gender: Male
Color(s): Cream or white
Eye color: yellow
Birthday:8/8
Age: 12years (cat years) Fun facts: Can actually carry small children on his back and will be fine. His fur can change from white to a cream.
/////
Animal: Cat
Name: Nebula
Breed:Bombay
Gender: Female
Color(s): Black
Eye color:Blue
Birthday:6/26
Age: 11 years(cat years) Fun fact: Likes to follow Bakugou, Jirō, and Merodī around alot.
~Luna Lyric~
~Wishlist~
~Universe navi~
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Jackie Jett - For @thesimsters-stories‘s Love Island
“Well damn! I’m Jackie, and I can control the weather!”
Name: Jackie Jett
Age: 26
Location: Del Sol Valley
Occupation: Weather Reporter
Traits: Non-Committal, Ambitious, Outgoing
Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity
Skills:
Charisma: 8
Wisdom: 6
Dancing: 4
Acting: 4
Bio:
Introducing Jacqueline “Jackie” Jett, the semi-famous Weather Reporter on the Del Sol Valley Network, Channel 7. With hair about as big as her ego, Jackie is known for being loud, proud, and... another word that ends in -oud. Give us a bit to think of one, and we’ll get back to you.
Jackie grew up in the suburbs of Del Sol Valley, with her parents and two older brothers. She excelled in school, graduating Valedictorian of her class and getting accepted into Foxbury Institute’s Specialized Biology program. It’s safe to say that years of success definitely boosted her opinion of herself, which was struck down a few notches when the job market tightened up as soon as she graduated. Jobs in her field were hard to come by, and Jackie was feeling down on her luck. One day while shopping with her bffs, she was approached by a man who she assumed to be a model scout. It turned out to be Victor Price, one of the producers at DSVN, who offered her a spot as their new weather reporter. With the show’s viewer count draining as online news becomes the new craze, Jackie’s appearance is possibly the only thing holding the studio together at this point, and she knows it.
While Jackie does have some brains on her, her most admirable trait are her wits. She’s real cunning, and knows how to play the game to come out on top. Unlike some of the other applicants, long-term romance isn’t really Jackie’s thing. She’s much more inclined to one night stands and hookups, and anyone who lasts longer gets their number deleted from her phone. Jackie claims to love this lifestyle, much to her cuffed friend’s dismay. While they think she’s crazy for not wanting to get boo’d up, she thinks the idea of being tied down is absolutely sickening. So why would she apply for a show like Love Island, where the only goal is to find true (or true in terms of reality television) love? (Reason number 1 will shock you!)
Questions:
Briefly describe yourself and your life.
“If you insist, LOL! Alright, my name’s Jackie Jett and I’m 26 years old. If I look familiar, it’s probably because you’ve seen me on DSVN, during the 8am time slot, 9 on weekends. Shameless plug, I’m the hottest weather girl in the hottest city in the west! Sure, the job’s a bore at times and I really only got hired for my looks and not my now-useless biology degree, but it pays well and I get a lot of time off to do the things I actually enjoy! I’m not actually as dumb as I come off to our viewers. I’m college educated! Although, it doesn’t really matter much at the moment, so I figured why not have fun where I am now? Also yes, I’m a natural redhead. Anyone that tells you different is a disgusting liar.”
Any Hobbies?
“My hobbies pretty much only consist of me going out and getting drunk. But it’s not that bad! I’ve always been a party girl, since high school even. There’s nothing more fun than going to a nightclub and letting your inhibitions run wild for a few hours! And if I can witness some celeb drama happen live before I hear about it at the studio the next morning, that's always a plus.”
How long have you been single?
“Well, that depends on what you define a relationship as, doesn't it? If you’re talking about any kind of romance, than I’m technically never single. I’m just never with the same person! If you define it as a romantic, long term relationship, then not since freshman year of college. And I’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much. I love to have my options open.”
Why did your last relationship end?
“Again, if we’re talking longer term, he wanted to get more serious and I realized that it just wasn’t what I was looking for. I was 19 and I still wanted to experience so much before getting cuffed. He really didn't take it well, so kinda safe to say I dodged a bullet on that one.”
What are you looking for in a relationship?
“If I had to be in one? I would want the other person to know and respect that I’m not going to be tied down for the rest of time. The whole “open relationship” thing is a standard I like to set with my long term hookups, and I would like that to apply here as well. Also, they should be hot. I’ve been with every type of guy you can think of, but I’ve got standards. I like em sexy, who can blame me? I promise, if I get on the show I’ll try to restrain myself. Keyword try. Also generally don't be a dick. Just because I’ve been with a lot of men doesn't mean I’m less deserving of respect. Any guy that thinks differently goes out the door, sorry not sorry. Oh, did you know that I have Demi Lovato’s phone number? We’re, like, basically besties.”
What are you not looking for in a relationship?
“By this point in the interview I think it’s pretty obvious the one thing I’m super not looking for, LOL! But other than that, I’m open to a lot! Just depends on who’s asking.” *winks* “I’m really not territorial, but if any of the women try to shame me for my lifestyle, I’m not afraid to get my claws out. Women are supposed to support women, I’m not tolerating any bullshit.”
Something else we should know about you?
“Okay, I guess this is where I come clean. Well, to the producers at least. So, basically, for the last few months, our shows ratings and viewership have been dropping. Our analytics team looked into it, and we’re pretty sure it’s because of that Simstagram News update. Instead of watching the actual news, people are going there because it’s quicker and easier to get info. So one day, Victor comes up to me and is all like “I’ve got an idea and I need your help”, which is already fishy because that’s basically code for “I need to use your looks to get the show traction”. So I go into his office and he brings up the Love Island Application. And, like, at first I’m hesitant because I work in showbiz, right? I know how reality tv stars get perceived by the public. But then I realized that if the studio tanks, I’ll no longer have a job, which like, major bummer. So I say yes!
In the end, I’m here to stir up drama and look cute on camera, all as bait for people to come and watch live news. Of course, I get the added benefit of a longer segment on the show, and a boost in Simstagram followers! So it’s really a win-win! Honestly, I probably would have applied anyway, if I had seen the casting call before Victor showed it to me. A bunch of hot guys, hookups, and more drama than a Kardashian-Jenner Simstagram comment section? That’s basically my dream life! And hey, who knows? Maybe I’ll finally get a tan!”
Some fun facts:
Please, make more That 70′s Show references when you meet her. She’s never heard them before. You’re so original, oh my gosh.
She’s allergic to shrimp. Makes for a downer at fancy parties.
She doesn’t tan, just burns. Curse her Irish heritage.
She played volleyball in college. She was pretty good at it, but almost broke her nose, which cause her to quit out of fear of getting a nose job.
She’s definitely a B list celebrity. No, don’t look it up. The internet is full of misinformation. You can’t trust anything.
She watched Mr.Robot and now has tape over her webcam. Sincerest apologies to her FBI agent. He/She’s missing a lot.
She’s a secret drama nerd. She can’t sing for the life of her, but she did the occasional play when she was younger.
Although her brothers know she can make her own decisions, they’re still super protective. They’re like 6ft+ guard dogs that Jackie sicks on any man that harms her.
She's got a tattoo of a ladybug. She won't tell you where, you’ll just have to find out for yourself ;)
Despite her complaining, her and Victor are pretty close. They have that sibling type bond. Only if one sibling was able to fire the other.
#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 love island#ts4 love island entry#s4#sims 4#thesimsters-stories#oh I loved making this one#I think I have a thing for redheads lol
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some mannerisms ive developed and will not be elaborating on:
- calculating estimations of how much money ill earn in the next 3-6 months, numerous times, in a month
- drinking tall glasses of milk with just a splash of 0 calorie s'mores flavouring syrup u would normally use for coffees like it's water
- waking up at 7:30-8:30am with no alarm on weekends and soaking in extra hours of alone time and letting my brain jump to what i feel like spontaneously researching
- showering every third day bc my hair has finally been producing more normal oil levels. (want to be showering everyday but my mental health tells me to refuse to wear a shower cap)
- mentally checking out of conversations if i just feel like ive lost energy to mask or hide that im tired
- at work, maximizing being myself to reduce energy draining, reacting by instincts, and can just paint it over as trying to be goofy or entertaining to the children
- when i feel like im working too hard at my minimum wage job, i just match the energy of some of my male co-workers
- i am not embarrassed or anxious to tell work when i cant come in for the next day or need to change my shifts because of school. done putting myself through life endurance tests.
- i can notice myself spending way too much time on my phone and online and on a screen on days and times im not working and i dont like it, and im trying to find a way around it that doesn't just include cleaning or eating
- when i eat, i like to feel like im in a mukhbang, and acknowledge out loud how good the food is
- why is it always easier to get numerous consecutive tasks done so long as i have my noise-cancelling over-ear headphones in and MUST have/know my specific music mood playing
- could go a week unable to watch a single video lecture when alone, gets in a call with my partner and suddenly im the productivity champion chugging through videos and typing at the speed of light for the next 3-4 hours
- my music moods are never genres anymore, but go by theme i.e. "songs with male singers that have voices as deep as i think i hear myself in my head so that when i sing along, it sounds the same" or "songs that feel like angry women being angry, justifiably so" or "songs that make me feel hyper-feminine and dainty and diabolical"
to sum it up, im still mentally ill but ive been really looking out for myself for once instead of trying to fit in and make-look like i always have it together
side note, im v envious of people and artists who i observe diving into a project i am also interested in, and yet they're not held back by the fear of not being up the exact skill level i would think it takes to do or start the thing i.e. writing a book, webtoon, character design, original concept art.
I no longer miss the past me i lost in early 2020, she couldn't handle what's taking place these days heh 2 jobs, 2 finals, embracing more adult responsibility like no longer postponing my road test, i think i handle myself pretty well these days.
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