Concepts for Illustration class!

Prompt: GET ANGRY focused on how the previous generation ruined our planet

tips/resources that taught me how to Art as an Adult - a masterlist

Four years ago I decided that “I’m too old to learn how to draw” is a pointless lie I’d believed for too long and you’re never too old to learn something new. I still definitely consider myself a novice and a learner but I’m at a very happy place with my art and I’m having a ton of fun so I thought I’d pass along the tips/resources that helped me get started and kept me motivated. 

I’ll get into resources under the cut, but here are personal tips I lined up for myself that helped during the early stages of frustration and wanting to give up. obviously they won’t work for everyone, but they really kept me going

fill 14 sketchbooks. if you still want to give up after that you can (I’m currently at 13 sketchbooks and could not imagine ever letting it go)

what specifically do you want to be able to draw? For me my goal has always been characters and cats. I’ve added things to it here and there, but starting out overwhelmed with how much you don’t know isn’t great. find a handful of things you really want to draw and see where it takes you.

get yourself a sketchbook fancy enough that you feel cool as heck but cheap enough that you don’t mind absolutely destroying it. Personally, I love EXCEED bullet journals. the dotted paper keeps me from being too picky but are less intrusive than lined paper. From my experience, EXCEED bullet journals takes acrylic and ink like a champ, and they’ve got nice covers that just make you “feel” cool. confidence is important!

acrylic paint and post-it notes are great ways to cover mistakes. I personally love anything that makes my sketchbooks feel “sketchbooky” so this is super fun. 

it is okay to “waste”/”ruin” pages. one time I was in “I’m a failure” artblock and so I poured black coffee onto my sketchbook. (it was gonna get dumped out anyway and I was Very frustrated with my art.) then when the pages dried I just kept right along using it. taught me a lot about not being perfect. sketchbooks are about learning and love, not about perfection.

try drawing in pen. seriously, draw in pen. it’s scary as frick to not be able to go back on mistakes but that’s what the post-it acrylic-paint tip is for, and it’ll help with all sorts of stuff like lineweight and line confidence. it takes some of the stress off too because, you screw up? oh well! Try again! it encourages “try again” over “meticulously nitpick until it’s perfect” and has done wonders for me. I started out my first two sketchbooks in pencil before making the switch and I’ve never gone back. 

(also sketching in highlighter and lining with pen is super fun and cool and satisfying!)

the first page doesn’t matter. I usually just use the first page of the sketchbook to write my favorite songs at the time and then do the same thing on the last page. first page jitters begone. 

(starting in the middle of the sketchbook also gets rid of those jitters pretty nicely. I tried this a couple times and personally still prefer the linear front-to-back but it was fun for a while.)

picking a color theme for your sketchbook can make it feel more “sketchbooky” too. I usually go with blue or orange- blue acrylic paint, blue post-it notes, those cheap blue BIC pens, etc. I like this bc it makes the sketchbook feel like a sketchbook and is very satisfying.

And figure out why you’re doing it. I did it because I always wanted to make cool art and draw my characters, but if you’re doing it for a career then obviously the path to that looks much different. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be inspired by people who are better than you. Acknowledge where you need to grow and where you’re strongest. Lean into those strengths. Adapt to those weaknesses. Be proud of being a beginner- you won’t be one for long. 

Now: some of my favorite creatives and resources!

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CREATORS:

"Kasey Golden" Mostly traditional art, mostly watercolor, cartoonist, art challenges

"DrawingWiffWaffles" Mostly traditional art, alcohol markers & pens, semi-realism

"LavenderTowne" Digital art, art tips/tutorials, cartoonist

"ABD Illustrates" Digital art, speedpaints, semi-realism

"Proko" (or "Stan Prokopenko") Realism, anatomy tutorials, free complete "Anatomy For Artists" series- basically as hogwild as you can get learning hyper-realistic anatomy

"Ethan Becker" Digital art, ex-DreamWorks employee, tips/tutorials, "Perfect Practice"

"Sinix Design" Digital art, anatomy tips/tutorials, general tips/tutorials, realist

"Oliver's Antics" Digital and traditional art, tips/tutorials, speedpaints, semi-realistic style

“Nerdforge” Traditional art, painting, metalwork, woodwork, bookbinding, building, seriously these people do everything they’re incredible

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FOR GESTURE DRAWING:

Line of Action Gesture drawing, figure drawing, optional timed practice sessions

AdorkaStock fantastic line of unique reference poses

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Aaand that’s about all I’ve got! there are so many resources out there and so many amazing artists to be inspired by. just have fun with art! art is freedom. be proud to be a beginner and be excited for how you’ll grow. I hope these tips are helpful for someone out there! <3 

Here’s my first digital artwork (April 2019) up against my latest (August 2022)

April 2019:

August 2022:

best of luck to you all. I believe in each and every one of you. <3 happy drawing!

Picture this; #387

A Month of Fantasy Prompts;

(Note; While the goal is to do one a day, please go at your own pace, this is for fun after all!)

1.  To keep their new human form they would need to return with the heart of someone who was loved by many, a task that was becoming harder to come to terms with as their time ran out.

2.  “Look, I’m sorry okay! How was I supposed to know those little squiggles were for more than just aesthetic?”

3.  They never thought they’d be haggling the price of their friends life with a sly spider creature, but that’s what happens when you get involved with barmy wizards.

4.  One person goes to the beach a few times a week to teach their new siren friend and their siblings sign language. They are very enthusiastic learners.

5.  No one realises that the prophetic statue is a bit petty and will spout the occasional falsehood for their own amusement.

6.  Archaeologists are exploring some interesting caves when they accidentally solve a riddle and walk straight into a dwarven stronghold in the middle of a feast.

7.  “Only you would willingly drink a truth potion with a silly-straw to prove a point.”

8.  A knight finds themselves in need of a florists knowledge to pass a test and complete their quest.

9.  They really wish that their reflection would stop singing whenever anyone said something close to a lyric, they also wish their flatmate stopped encouraging it.

10.  Turns out the lead singer of a famous screamo band is an actual banshee.

11.  They had been drawn to the other yet not known why until their eyes had met and they realised that their unusual colour was due to their eyes being made of actual gemstones.

12.  Werewolf farmer makes good use of their monthly transformations, leaving scent markers for themselves to follow in order to quickly and thoroughly plough the fields. Results tend to vary.

13.  They woke from their nap to find a baby sphinx curled in their lap and have no idea what to do about this.

14.  “Oh yeah, sure, give the mysterious arcane artefact to the dodgy professor with a very large collection of blood samples, what could possibly go wrong?!”

15.  Vampires don’t need green screen, as such they are quite useful puppeteers and practical effect workers.

16.  Self playing instrument has somehow gained knowledge of musical memes and uses them as it wishes no matter the time, place, situation or company.

17.  A shape-shifter makes a living out of impersonating princesses who are trying to avoid getting caught up in kidnapping plots, prophetic threats or strange marriage arrangements.

18.  Most thought unicorns where tall, lithe and shimmered like pearls but in truth they rarely grew higher than a humans knee, had thick curled coats of fur and came in a variety of earthly colours.

19.  Fae keep breaking in to their apartment to play with their collection of stim toys.

20.  There was once crystal that held the soul of one of the most powerful beings to have ever lived, this crystal has been split and embedded into a crown, a choker and a ring, those who wear them become possessed by the souls power and seek each other.

21.  A kid spending the summer at a camp is secretly investigating what in the lake keeps sinking their paper boats.

22.  Everyone knows that if you want something done right you hire a Wolpertinger to manage it.

23.  Aphrodite has discovered the existence of dating sims and is crashing at a mortals house to play them all, though failed to inform said mortal of this.

24.  “They can’t turn led into gold, but they can turn lords into jesters.”

25.  A tiny doll that was once a human is having a hard time getting their new owner to take them seriously due to how cute they are.

26.  The Goddess of Nature, having found their favoured hunter, bestowed their head with golden antlers and laughed as they struggled. Upon finding the most worthless prey, the goddess cursed them with a wicked poison and shivered as they thrived.

27.  One owl seems very determined to become the familiar of one very confused and very non-magical doctor.

28.  Centaurs are commonly hired as daily assistants to the disabled and elderly, their great strength, speed, mobility and wisdom allows them to not only be efficient helpers but good companions. Though stairs and small spaces are an issue.

29.  The novelty book they bought from a second hand bargain bin for a laugh turned out to be a very real enchanted book of spells that came with it’s own ghost author.

30.  “Dragons love heavy metal! Seriously it’s a perfect gift, trust me!”

31.  Mermaids all seem to have a time period that they consider the most fashionable, as such they have recreated those fashions and are keen to show off their outfits.

Completion Bonus!;

Do a one shot or a sketch for something you love that you haven’t had the chance to do for a while! Or read one chapter of an unfinished story! Or watch one episode or movie of that thing you like! Satisfy whatever urge you have right now, you have all the time in the world for this so relax and treat yourself, you did great!

Full of Surprises ch. 1-3

casey/alex, past alex/olivia. semi-au & fuzzy timeline, set post season 9. cross-posted from ao3 so the first three chapters are coming at ya all at once. TW for series-typical violence, SA, and discussions of mental illness. less graphic than the show. Fluff, romance, angst! First three chapters are totally SFW.

And yet, as she scanned the place, she caught someone she recognized. Sitting at the bar, bent over a notebook, was Casey Novak; her deep red hair tied back in a casual ponytail, an empty highball glass in front of her, chewing on the end of a click pen.

1 .

This wasn’t where Alex would usually find herself. Or at least, it didn’t used to be. Maybe it was now.

Emily had spent her evenings sat at a booth in the back of the local pub, watching and sketching. The books she’d filled, she kept them safely tucked in a box in the back of her closet, initialed “EC.” Alex couldn’t find it in her to draw much anymore.

Anne was alone more than not, spent long evenings reading philosophy, went running early mornings, yoga classes, taught herself guitar, filled hours on hours with ideas and exhaustion. Alex didn’t spend much time poring over The Republic these days, her guitar was long covered in dust.

In law school, her friends had a favorite table in the window of a little cafe, they would go from morning coffee to afternoon study to sharing bottles of red wine, coming and going as they pleased, debating with hopeful glimmers in their bright eyes. Late into the night, arm wrapped around Sylvia’s waist, listening to her classmates carry on, she’d watch the candles burn down. Sylvia had called her Lexi, whispered in her ear on night walks in the cold Cambridge air to their little apartment, gentle hands soothing her most anxious times. Alex hadn’t felt like that in years.

College weekends were spent at punk shows in basements, though she knows now nobody would believe it, young Alex Cabot (the nickname had been coined in those years, sharper edged than the elaborate Alexandra) knew how to have some fun, at least back then. She’d dyed her hair black and worn studs on her collar, had a reputation for being a player, and it seemed like the back of her right hand was constantly stained with marker residue. Sticky floors and lipgloss on her neck, so many firsts all at once.

Her evenings during her years in the DA’s office were usually full of work, except the odd night when she’d meet the detectives for a drink at their haunt or head out with the other ADAs to some upscale cocktail bar. Two different crowds with two different mentalities, the detectives were dedicated to a fault, while the prosecutors were insufferably full of themselves. The detectives would tire her out by 11:30, but she’d find an excuse to leave the ADA excursions before 9. Far more special were the many evenings spent in Olivia’s apartment drinking two beers each and filling the quiet air with soft laughter and conversation.

But a little library themed speakeasy? Not her typical place. Well. No time like the present to change one’s habits. She’d been recommended it by an old law school friend a couple weeks ago, bumped into him on a whim in a coffee shop, was surprised she wasn’t dead, had been there last night, said it was right up her alley. Its illicit vibe wasn’t exactly to ADA Cabot’s tastes, no. But it scratched something in Alex, that hadn’t been satisfied since those basement nights and cozy cafe afternoons. From the place’s shelves she’d pulled a book of Pre-Raphaelite poetry and sat in a comfy chair with a scotch and a San Pelligrino, pleased, at least, to be out of the apartment for the evening.

She didn’t need the money, but she’d been copyediting textbooks freelance, filling up her time with grammar and word choice. She’d been reading a lot of fiction. She adopted two extremely fluffy cats. It was a pleasant, if mundane, life. It turned out, Alex had realized, that there were plenty of eager and capable young attorneys who could do her former job as well as she ever had. She felt, finally, like she deserved a bit of a rest. Needed one, really. Someone would do the prosecuting. The thought of stepping back in the courtroom, looking at the bench, examining witnesses, made her feel sick to her stomach, though she had once loved that life. It wasn’t her anymore— maybe it never really had been. She decided this was her kind of place after all. This iteration of Alexandra Cabot would drink bubbly water in secluded speakeasies while reading poetry.

Alex didn’t expect to see anybody she knew, not somewhere you needed a password to get into, where the music was indie folk and old jazz from a vintage record player, the drinks had names like the “Lady Brett” and the “Daisy Buchanan,” and most of the patrons were dressed in flannel with their noses buried in old books. And yet, as she scanned the place, she caught someone she recognized. Sitting at the bar, bent over a notebook, was Casey Novak; her deep red hair tied back in a casual ponytail, a half-empty highball glass in front of her, chewing on the end of a click pen.

This was surprising. Alex, though she hadn’t ever known Casey well, before her first brief return to life as Alex Cabot, only as one of the white collar ADAs (they ran in a bit of a pack, didn’t shy away from imitating the lifestyles of those they prosecuted). After knowing her as a prosecutor, Alex would expect to see Casey in a sports bar watching a game, or in some chrome-gilded bar with high ceilings drinking designer cocktails and cheering on a verbal showdown between her colleagues. Or in the center of a showdown like that. Not alone, writing in a moleskine, wearing a red flannel over a simple black dress. Casey was striking, Alex realized, before she realized she’d been looking a little longer than was considered normal. She hoped she didn’t seem like a creep watching from afar. She considered getting up, saying hello, but felt that Casey may not even remember her, may not want to be disturbed as she wrote, may not even recognize her anymore. She’d changed her appearance when she’d gone back to being Alex Cabot, cut her hair in a short bob, dyed it dark brown, wore thick rimmed glasses and simple clothing, too painful to be the formal blonde she used to be. Barely the same woman who’s once-murderer Casey had put behind bars those years ago.

Alex didn’t have to consider talking to Casey, however, because almost as soon as she returned to her book, she heard the sound of rubber soled sneakers against the old hardwood floors and a voice beside her.

“Hey stranger,” she said.

“Hi Casey,” Alex said as she slid her bookmark into place and looked up at the familiar face with a smile. “Care to join me?”

2 .

“I almost didn’t recognize you,” Casey said as she sat down. “I’m allowed to, uh, talk to you right? Though I guess if I wasn’t you wouldn’t acknowledge me, which would be fine, by the way.” There was the Casey Alex remembered, her words getting ahead of her.

“It’s fine, I’m me again,” Alex said calmly, “It’s really good to see you, though I wouldn’t have imagined you to be the writing type, or the underground-library-bar type” Alex gestured to the leather notebook in Casey’s left hand.

“I’m full of surprises, Alexandra Cabot.” Casey said in a tone that suggested she was sarcastic, yet convinced Alex she was telling the truth. Alex sipped her water.

“What were you working on?” She asked, not wanting to pry, but very eager to catch up, to know why she was alone in a place like this.

“Oh, nothing, nothing interesting. Just some little bits and pieces.” Casey replied.

“Not argument notes on a Saturday night, I hope?” Alex asked, though she knew that she would’ve done the same thing back when she was in the DA’s office. Casey looked pale, uncomfortable for a moment. “I’m sorry,” Alex said, trying to soothe any pain she may have caused, though she couldn’t fathom why. “I don’t mean to bring up work when you’re trying to relax.” At this, Casey just looked confused.

“Alex, have you not heard?” Casey said, searching for signs of recognition in the woman’s eyes, but finding only further confusion continuing, her voice low, “I was censured a few months ago. I can’t practice law for at least three years.” Alex’s eyes opened wide and she set her glass down on the table between them. “I’m surprised the rumor hasn’t reached your circles yet, though I admit I’m glad I get to be the one to tell someone for a change.” Alex noticed Casey cross her arms together over her chest, closing herself up, making herself seem smaller.

It was quiet for a while, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald on the speakers, quiet conversations, and pages turning filling it. “I’m sorry, no, I hadn’t heard. That’s too bad. Do you want to talk about it?” Casey grinned at the suggestion, oddly intimate for the two women who, while they hardly knew each other, had shared some of the most intense moments either of them had experienced in a courtroom.

“I think I’ve gone over it enough in my head, but uh, thank you.” Casey said, her voice wobbling on the thanks, “You know, you’re the first person so far to actually ask me that?”

“I’m sorry.” Was Alex’s reply. Surely Casey had people who were interested in her feelings?

“The circumstances were,” Casey trailed off as she looked for the right wording, “I was at fault, for sure. But I was just trying to do the right thing, and I made a mistake.”

“Nothing shocking, I hope?” Asked Alex, still trying to ascertain the nature of the censure, wondering about what the woman sitting across from her could’ve done.

“I violated due process, technically.” Casey replied, attempting to gauge Alex’s reaction, but seeing that it continued to be contemplative rather than condemning, continued, “I shouldn’t’ve, but I think all of us have done worse in our time. But I was not in Donnelly’s good graces, so…” instead of ending her sentence, Casey sipped the last of her drink and looked up at Alex nervously, hoping the woman wouldn’t judge her too harshly.

“Oh man, Casey. That’s really tough. I’m sorry.” Casey searched for any sign of disapprobation in Alex’s tone, but finding only genuine concern, relaxed.

“So I’ve been doing other stuff for a little while. Using my undergrad,” she said, truly sarcastic this time. “What about you Cabot? What’s keeping you from your old haunt? And what’s with the brunette look?”

Alex wanted to answer, but wasn’t going to let Casey get away completely with deflecting. “You didn’t answer my question, Novak. What’s in the notebook?”

Casey laughed. “You really are relentless.” Alex just raised an eyebrow smugly while sipping her drink, as if to say, go on. “It’s a poetry journal. I’ve kept one since college.”

This admission broke the unflappable Alex Cabot’s reserve and she couldn’t keep herself from a few giggles. “I apologize,” she said, “for laughing at you. Just, the idea of Casey Novak the poet would not have occurred to me.”

“Like I said,” Casey started, “I’m full of surprises. And nobody has laughed at me in a long time,” she continued, beginning to laugh herself. “Believe it or not, I have an English degree.”

“Ok, ok, stop. I’m not sure I can take many more shocks tonight,” teased Alex.

“And you, didn’t answer my question. What’s with the brunette? You look beautiful,” Casey said before realizing what she was saying, shutting herself up before she said anything embarrassing.

“I needed a change,” Alex said, “Something to distance myself from my old selves. I never dyed my hair before, or switched up my look at all really. Just, a change.”

“I get that.” Casey said, and Alex felt like she really did get it, somehow more than anybody else had to this point. She’d seen a few old colleagues and friends, and they all had looked at her with this mixture of fear and pity that made her wish she was invisible. But Casey seemed to say something deeper in just three words.

They talked together late into the night, about books and drinks (Casey had been a bartender in college, her knowledge on pairings was unparalleled) and everything but law. It was close to 2:00 am when Casey started to yawn.

“I’m really glad I ran into you, Alex,” she said as they left the bar, her voice scratchy from talking quietly, a subtle accent that Alex couldn’t quite place showing through under the influence of sleepiness and her light buzz. It was adorable, Alex found herself thinking.

“Me too, Casey,” Alex replied, and before she could turn to start walking towards her apartment, only a block or so away, she was met with a hug. It was brief, but Alex took in the scent of Casey’s coconut shampoo, sweet and pleasing.

“I wouldn’t have expected you to be much of a hugger either,” Alex said as she pulled away, brushing her hands on Casey’s elbows.

“I guess you have a lot to figure out,” she said, playfully, as Alex handed her into a cab.

As Alex walked up the stairs to her apartment (she could afford a bigger place, but this one, this one felt right), Alex replayed the evening and regretted not asking for Casey’s phone number before she left. When she pulled her keys out of her pocket to unlock the door, she found a piece of paper, with a number and a note:

text me, so I can learn some of your surprises.

3 .

Alex was awake.

The same old dreams kept her restless. It had been a bad night, she’d slept less than 3 hours before she woke, startled, as the sun just began to rise, 5 am on a Saturday in September.

Foggily, she attempted to reconstruct the details of her pieced together dreams, her therapist, Julia, had convinced her to keep a journal. She said the nightmares of being shot, of nobody recognizing her, those made perfect sense, classic PTSD symptoms. With what happened to her it would’ve been stranger to not suffer it. But these hadn’t been those dreams.

Clare Cartwright, age 15 stood in line at the coffee shop. Her face was pink with tears but nobody saw anything out of the ordinary except for Alex, watching her from a table. Clare’s cheeks were wet and covered in running mascara but the barista didn’t bat an eye as she ordered an iced chai and sat down alone with her laptop. Tears turned to sobs turned to screams, thrashing, but she just kept typing, sipping her tea, nobody did a damn thing. Alex tried to rise from her seat, go to the girl, hold her and scratch her back while she cried, but the heavy weight of her own body kept her seated, powerless to do anything. She tried to yell across the room, tell her that it was going to be ok, she was going to put whoever hurt her behind bars, protect her from them forever. But when she opened her mouth all breath was sucked out of her lungs, she collapsed. Clare’s cries echoed ceaselessly.

Trevor Hamilton, a 20 something pro, had been turning tricks all night but one guy had taken it a little too far. He was sure his neck, hips would be covered in nasty bruises the next day. Oh well. Nobody believed a pro who cried rape. He stuffed his cash in his briefs and made his way towards the van he slept in with three other guys but before he could get there, he fell, body bloody. Nobody heard a sound but Trevor must have been shot. His blood was cold as it poured out of him onto the sidewalk but he stood up. He wasn’t dead. In the morgue, Melinda Warner ruled the cause of death a fatal gunshot wound to his back, probably a stray bullet, but he’d had sex the night he died, maybe an angry John. Alex told everyone that he wasn’t dead. Trevor whispered in her ear, asked her how could she let them say he was dead, how could she let them get away with saying such a thing like that, how could she let them call what had happened to him sex. Alex repeated herself over and over but all she got in return from the detectives were sympathetic looks of confusion as they sent her home for the day. She must’ve been too tired, Alex heard Olivia tell Elliot, maybe her mind was acting up again, sleep deprivation can kickstart psychosis. Someone would check in on her that night, make sure she wasn’t relapsing. Alex knew she wasn’t hallucinating, because Trevor had spoken to her in the clearest voice she’d heard in months. Alex wept for Trevor the whole way home and then some but nobody seemed to notice.

Annabelle Lamm wore a fuzzy pink nightgown when her grandmother brought her into the precinct one snowy night. Olivia called Alex to come to the precinct, they needed a warrant for the apartment, they found fluids in the girl’s hair of all places, grandma handed them an envelope full of pictures of Annie that nobody in the family admitted to taking. It was a no brainer warrant, Alex didn’t even mind waking up a judge for it if it meant getting whoever had been hurting this little girl as soon as possible. When Alex arrived to the building, Olivia wasn’t there and all the lights were off. Alex clicked on a lamp, wondered if Liv had found another ADA and rushed off without telling her anything. But the room was unfamiliar, empty, concrete. In the center of the room standing perfectly still was a 5 year old girl in a pink fuzzy nightgown. Alex ran to her but couldn’t get any closer. The little girl had a hollow expression and didn’t move an inch. Alex kept running and running but her feet stayed in the same spot, powerless.

Yeah. Powerless. As she awoke she felt like she was still running, head still spinning, still heard screams.

She wrote it all down in her journal. Julia had said that it was unusual for people whose jobs involved consistently levels of high stress and disturbance to have the severity of symptoms she had; that there was usually a tolerance that was built up to being horrified. Alex had either never had that tolerance or it had been washed away during the years she’d spent in WITSEC because her very brief return to the practice of law had nearly broken her.

“Sleep deprivation can kickstart psychosis,” Olivia had told her once when they first worked together, ostensibly referring to a case of statutory rape where the perp didn’t recall a single piece of the event; but Alex knew the comment was pointed at her, not the perp. Olivia could tell that Alex’s patience was growing thin, her mind unfocused; she must’ve deduced that Alex wasn’t sleeping much. But Alex already knew the warning signs.

Alexandra Cabot, age 16, sat shaking in a hospital room. It was almost finals week, she’d pulled a few all nighters, it was nothing serious, she’d told her school counselor a week prior when her friends had noticed her speech patterns growing muddled. She stayed up another 24 hours and the last thing she remembered was her roommates grabbing her wrists and pulling her inside off the balcony. After that, the school had installed locks on all the windows. Alexandra was freezing in her hospital gown, brain numbed out from the IV antipsychotics she was attached to. A few days in the hospital to take care of her injuries (she was informed that she had thrown herself against the wall while school officials took her to the ER), then a summer of residential treatment, hopefully she would be able to return to boarding school in the fall. Her father looked at her with a shattered expression, her mother treated her with cold indifference, her friends didn’t talk to her. Major depression with psychotic features.

Alex knew the consequences of not sleeping enough. She considered taking her cup of mint tea and heading back to bed, cuddling up to her cats, reading a book maybe, just trying to screw her head on right. Her body fought her though, nervous energy ran through her veins, so she elected to have a walk instead. Besides, it had been years since she’d had any serious episode. Anxiety, sure, and the occasional month or so of depression, a few close calls, but regular therapy and medication kept her more or less in the clear since college. Her family, her therapists, had suggested she go into a different kind of law, something stimulating but less distressing like, intellectual property, but she had refused, felt called to prosecuting. But her experience was what made her a great prosecutor, and it was why she had been so adamant about the proper handling of cases involving those suffering from mental illness, especially victims, but perps as well. She knew how it felt, more than she admitted to almost anybody, but she also knew there were paths through it.

The same old nightmares, but Alex was a different person. The old Alex would’ve thrown herself even harder into work than usual, won her cases even more viciously, assuaged her feelings of powerlessness by asserting control. This Alex knew that complete control was unattainable.

The September air was cold this early in the morning, but bracing. The contrast between her thermos full of hot tea pleased her, she pretended she was a dragon as she breathed steam. She smiled to herself at the thought and at the bright orange sun rising through the treetops in the park by her apartment. This had been the right choice, sunrises were her favorite magic. Content covered her like a well fitting dress, shaking off the nerves slowly. The most dedicated joggers and newsstand operators were the only other people out this early, the quietest time in the city. Alex’s phone buzzed.

Casey: Nice coat, Cabot.

Alex looked up from her phone, confused. What? Maybe it was delivered late. She’d seen Casey two days ago for coffee— they’d developed a friendship. Texts, coffee, nothing too deep; but then it had only been a couple weeks since they’d run into each other at the library bar. Alex liked Casey. She was funny and a good listener, and she always had something to say. She didn’t walk on eggshells around Alex either, making Casey unique among her friends. She’d tried to meet up with Liv right when she’d gotten back to the city the second time, but the way she looked at her cut way too deep, like she was a hero, like she was a victim. Both of those she may well be, but she needed to be treated as a friend. Casey did that for her, down to playfully teasing her over her eccentric habits. Another text:

Casey: Turn around, Clueless.

Not many people had ever called Alexandra Cabot clueless. Alex turned around, and Casey waved at her excitedly from the jogging path and without waiting for Alex’s reaction began to run up to where she was sitting. Alex was surprised to see her, happily so. She knew Casey was athletic, but didn’t take her to be the 5:30 running type. She wore tight leggings and a running jacket, and the biggest smile Alex had seen from her. She looked beautiful in the soft early light, Alex thought, then immediately blushed at that thought.

She’d never been one to shy away from her sexuality, especially when she realized the destructive role repression had played in her life before she came out. Alex had been out since college, but she tried very hard not to crush on straight women. She knew she couldn’t control who she was attracted to, but it always made her feel a bit dejected, so. Nip that in the bud.

Alex didn’t have much time to consider the ethics of her thoughts, because Casey was right in front of her, grabbing her hands.

“It’s so good to see you! A second surprise encounter, must be fate, Cabot,” Casey said in a quiet voice, a wink in her words.

“Something like that,” Alex replied, “What are you doing out so early?”

“I could ask the same of you; I’m just finishing up my run. You are wearing a fancy coat and looking deep in thought, in fact, you are being far more suspicious than I am, look at how many people are out here jogging, I mean,”

“Oh my god,” Alex cut her off with an eye roll, “Ok, stop cross-examining me.”

Casey gave Alex a genuine laugh, “Old habits die hard.” She paused for a second. “You look pale, did you sleep?”

“Thanks, Casey.” Alex gave her a playful glare. “If three nightmares in three hours counts, then yes, I slept.”

“Oh you poor thing. I’d hug you but,” She gestured to her sweaty figure. “You wanna get breakfast? I’ll pop back to my apartment, shower, and meet you at yours in say, half an hour?”

Alex started slightly at the familiarity, but responded, “Yeah, sure, sounds fun. Uh, here I’ll text you my address.”

Did Casey blush? Alex couldn’t be sure due to her post-run glow and the chill in the air. “Sorry if that’s too familiar, I know we usually plan these things out, and I guess I just assumed you didn’t have plans, it’s totally fine if you don’t want to, you know, runner’s high and all,” but Alex cut her off again with a raise of her eyebrows.

“Are you retracting the offer, Novak?” Alex couldn’t resist the urge to tease the woman in front of her. “Because if I recall correctly, I said yes.”

Casey grew more flustered, replied with a quick, “Nope, still happening, see you in half an hour,” and took off running, leaving Alex behind as she laughed in disbelief.

Dead Man Hiking

a gift from Beyond the Veil’s Masked Satinalia Exchange, that I wrote for @theprairienerd <3. It was fun to get out of solavellan hell, and it sparked a whole gen fic fest that I’m still working my way through. crossposted to AO3 here

Solas broods over what has been lost. Dorian interrupts, and Solas dangles hidden knowledge in front of him like a carrot. They both take the bait, because, as irritable and sad Solas can get, "he wants to give wisdom, not orders," and Dorian loves to learn.

They named his reach the Emerald Graves, a poetic name for a dismal end. Solas can taste the ashes of the lost in the air, and fears falling asleep. Where the Orlesians had ripped the forests from their roots and flattened the Exalted Plains, the rage dripped too deep into the soil of the Emerald Graves. A nobleman or two held estates. No one ever lasted long. Ghosts lingered in lichen and stone, canopy and leaf. Solas leans against a boulder and dips his feet in a creek that was once a road, two thousand years ago. He picks up a stone. At least the mica in the rock remembers. Not all of Arlathan is lost. “Oh, Solas.” Dorian walks over, glittering in the sun. His shadow covers him.

Solas places the smooth riverstone onto the boulder with a satisfying clink and looks up at Dorian. “Yes?” he says testily. It is not that he dislikes Dorian. He is too much a product of his own time and indulgence for Solas to take his swagger personally. But the Tevinter mage tries so hard to dazzle everyone he meets, and Solas is too tired to be amused by a human peacock. He knows he should not be so dismissive; he was young and anxious to impress once. But Dorian is almost likeable, and perhaps that is why he gets under his skin. They can discuss the finer points of mana fissure against Veil warp--and then Dorian will exclaim his surprise that he is following along quite fine, as if he had not written the equation to begin with. He does not see a mage. He sees a pair of pointed ears, and forgets that there is a brain between them. Dorian tenses. “Am I interrupting?” “Is there something you would like to ask me, Master Pavus?” He cannot help the ironic edge in his voice. Dorian flinches slightly at the title, but breezes onward. “Well, Messere Solas,” Dorian rolls his eyes, “you mentioned that the Graves have changed since you were last here. I was wondering what it used to be like, before the war. If you have lore to share.” “Are you appealing to my vanity?” Solas says, amused. “You do like to talk.” Dorian takes his response as an invitation and sits down next to him. Solas flares his nose. Dorian reeks of the Iron Bull and overpriced cologne. They call him unwashed, but at least he manages to wash away the scent of sex. To avoid the pungent bouquet of Dorian’s day, Solas gets up. Above the creek sits a stone ledge where the People placed one of his markers, the watching wolf. Where the waterfall is now, an eluvian once stood. Solas says, “Follow me. We won’t go too far from camp.” He grunts as he jumps down from the rocks and splashes across the creek. Dorian hurriedly follows, grimacing as his boots fill with water. Sera broke the waterproofing enchantment on them yesterday; Solas thinks, perhaps he irritates me more than I allow. I should not have let her figure it out; but he and Bull were so obnoxiously loud. They hike up the cliff in silence. Solas enjoys the feel of the grass under his feet. He loves the woods, and though he mourns what they once were, still he feels himself relaxing into the rhythm of the wind tousling the canopy of leaves, the roar of the waterfall guiding his step. He wonders aloud, “I wonder if there is a single place in the Dales that does not know a single human step.” He has shepherded the land Mythal granted him as best he could. Still the taint remains: the Blight unlocked, and all this death. Dorian glances at him curiously. “Not if you’re taking me there. Where are we going, anyway?” Solas says, “To the Watcher. The Dalish will tell you that he dates to their lost kingdom, a relic of the spirit-wolves the Emerald Knights called their companions.” He smiles ruefully. As fragmented and dissociative he was in the Fade, he tried to guide Ralaferin and the others as best he could. He misses them sharply, and touches his jawbone necklace to ground himself. “However, they are wrong.” “Oh really,” Dorian drawls. He stops, winded, and Solas waits as he leans against a tree to catch his breath. “And you know--how?” “Through my journeys in the Fade, Dorian. Where else?” It is not technically a lie. He does not like to tell deliberate untruths casually. He saves them for when they are necessary. Lying was a habit he grew out of as a youth, the hard way, and this body still bears those scars. He points to the wolf over the waterfall. They are nearly there now. Elnora had hid a staff under his paws; perhaps he would collect it later. “This statue dates to before the fall of Arlathan. Just before. I do not know how much you know of my people’s lore, but before Elvhenan fell the people worshipped a god named Fen’Harel, who took the form of a monstrous wolf. At least if you listen to Dalish legend.” He wonders how they thought he could get anything done without opposable thumbs. “They say he seeded his statues with an enchantment that could let him spy on his followers’ loyalties. They are wrong, of course.” Those Dalish fairytales assume he had much more time to cause trouble than he ever did, even as a bored sergeant in Mythal’s army. Though he has always struggled with paranoia, he never crossed that line, not even when Dirthamen ordered him to. “But this statue does have its own tricks.” “Old magic,” Dorian says. “Pre-Imperium, you say?” He visibly perks up. He staggers a few steps forward and marches up the ragged path. “What are you waiting for, Solas? Lead the way!” Solas smiles and slows his step to give Dorian time to catch his breath. He loves to teach and Dorian loves to learn: that is why it is impossible for him to stay annoyed for long. Dorian peppers him with questions as they hack their way through the undergrowth. He dodges the ones that make him hate himself and answers the ones that make him laugh. Under all that glittering, impractical armor, Dorian flaunts a sharp mind and a quicker tongue. Solas enjoys himself. Tevinter and then Orlesian expansion into the Dales is part of the Blight the Evanuris wrecked upon the world--he would prefer to wander these woods with his companions of old--but they are all dead, and he is a dead man walking with a quickling upstart. But of all afterlives, he knows, this is not the worst, and this can be fixed--and Dorian is not terrible company after all. They clamber up the last incline and stop at the Watcher’s base. Solas notices an offering of apricots left in a small bronze dish at the wolf’s paws. He helps himself to one. He loves the taste of summer fruit, and though it lacks some of the richness of the orchards of Arlathan, the apricot is delicious. Dorian looks askance. “Are you sure you should be doing that?” Solas says, “I would not let you do it.” “Right,” Dorian says, “it’s not sacrilege if you do it. And the Inquisitor doesn’t see.” Solas laughs. “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it,” he starts, but Dorian interrupts. “You don’t get a story,” Dorian says, lips twitching into a smile. “Now, speaking of, you promised me a story. So what does this statue do?” He gazes up at the Watcher’s impassive stare. Solas fords across the creek. The current is strong as it crashes down the cliff, but not enough to push him. He chooses his footing carefully, and then holds an arm out to help Dorian. Dorian, though, ignores him. He sketches a quick diagnostic into the air, blue mana flashing. “Hmm,” Dorian says. “The Veil is thin here. Who would have thought.” Then the Watcher’s eyes flash. Solas steps back. A spirit haunts the water, a reflection of himself, dreaming quiescent in the days of Arlathan’s fall. The spirit-wolf steps from the stone, snuffling at him curiously. Solas thinks: surely my fur was never so fluffy. I was decidedly unkempt in those days. One thing ages the spirit: it wears Mythal’s brand on its muzzle. It must have formed just after his apotheosis, but before June’s disastrous trip into the Deep Roads. The spirit says, in a voice not unlike his own, “Banal’nadas.” The Blight is inevitable. Nothing is inevitable. It cocks its head at Dorian. Dorian starts. He leans over, to peer into the wolf’s eyes. The wolf snorts and walks away into the sun of the woods, its footsteps leaving the river unrippled. It melts into the warm shadows of the forest beyond them. Solas sighs. He is living, or he is dying; he does not know which, but at least that spirit is now free. But the Dales have lost one more piece of its living history. Its purpose has been fulfilled. The Blight is inevitable. They walk back in silence, tired from the hike up the cliff. As they reach the campsite, though, Dorian turns to him. “You know, Solas,” he says, “that spirit had eyes like you.” “Like an elf, you mean,” Solas says dismissively. Dorian shakes his head. “No. Like you.” But before he can continue his questions, their companions notice them, and they are swept into the fervor of life around the campfire. Solas is glad to let the matter rest.

Work in Progress Wednesday

Creators: work on or post something from your WIP. This is your weekly reminder to get something down on paper (real or virtual). It’s also a chance to share your progress with your followers and give them a sneak peek of what’s to come!

Fans: leave a comment on an unfinished fic and let the writer know how much you love it. Reblog an artist’s sketch and let them know you can’t wait to see the final product. Send someone an ask cheering them on!

Feel free to repost this image!

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Hello all!  I’ve been feeling...well I’m not too sure honestly.  Writing has been a little weird these last few months weeks so I wanted to use this just as a way to motivate myself a little with what I’ve already come up with and hopefully, it will push me to write/finish some of those WIPs.  Be gentle these are still really rough ... and if I do get around to writing them I might change some stuff around...

There are so many different stories that I’ve started that I might never finish so I wanted them to live somewhere.  

There’s a few ShikaTema, SaiIno and one ChoKarui (also some starts to my Lemonade Series so be aware of titles/notes)

**I’ll update this as new ideas come about.  They will appear first in the post. 

Previews after the cut. 

Knots (Part 3 of “Ties that Bind Series”- ShikaTema, Suna Sibs)

“I’m worried, she’s really sick.”

“Maybe it's like ya know.  That time of the month.”  Kankuro’s voice dropped to a whisper. 

“You idiot.  You absolute moron.”  Temari's voice shot back through the layers of blankets. 

“I think she's okay.”

“Temari, are you okay?”  Gaara asked carefully.  

She nodded her head.  “I’m fine.  Everything is just fine.  Why do you ask?”

“Well you’ve been locked in your room for days now.  You haven’t snapped at anyone or called me stupid.  We’re getting concerned.”

She sighed, taking a deep breath seeing the worry clear in their eyes.

“Shikamaru proposed.”

Their expressions brightened.   “Temari! That’s great, congratulations!”

“We should be celebrating.”  Kankurou stared at his sister curiously.  Gaara was right.  Something was wrong.  “Why isn’t Nara here?”

“I couldn’t say yes.”

Their eyes shot wide open. “Temari?”

“Shikamaru needs to be in Konoha and I couldn’t leave you two and Suna.  Who am I if i’m not Temari of the Desert?”  She knew that she made the right decision.  She couldn’t just leave her brothers and Suna because of something as trivial as love right?  This was the right thing to do.  She assured herself but then why did her heart feel like it was tied up in knots?

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Candles (SaiIno-One Shot)

The concept of birthdays had always been foreign to Sai.  He’d never learned the actual date of his birth and never realized that such days were cause for celebration.  So much of his past and the circumstances by which he’d become part of the Root were shrouded in darkness.  The one person that could tell him when his actual birthday was, was dead.

 There were little events that were celebrated in the Foundation.  Completion of missions, not dying on said missions were the two events in which he could remember “celebrating.”  Other than that there was little else that would be cause for celebration.

Once he started becoming more a part of the village he learned early on that birthdays were actually important milestones.  Whether they were small, intimate gatherings of close family and friends or large, elaborate events, birthdays were something to celebrate.  They were time markers and allowed the celebrant to reflect on all their past experiences and look forward to all the wonderful experiences that lie ahead.  Perhaps that was why birthdays were never celebrated.  No one in the Root had a clear memory of their past.  Each mission could be life or death so it was foolish to believe that there was a future to look forward to.  

Still, as he began to settle actual roots, and the path in which he wanted to walk a birthday seemed like an important element to have.  Everyone had a birthday, he deserved one too.  The actual date though was to be determined.  There were few actual dates that held any value so selecting a random one out of the year was difficult.  It also seemed strange to arbitrarily pick a date as well. 

“Ino?  I have a request.”

“Of course Sai, anything.”

“Would you mind sharing your birthday with me?”

“What?”

“I don’t know when my actual birthday is.  Such things weren’t considered important.  One day I’d like to find out but for now if you don’t mind I’d like to share my birthday with you.  It’s not something that we need to announce or even really recognize but I’d like to have a date, a number that I can put down.  I feel like the day I met you I was reborn in a sense.  That my real life started.  I can  understand if you don’t-”

*

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Stolen (Multi Chap AU ShikaTema ):

Shikamaru watched her closely and saw the shift in her eyes.  Where she’d been terrified initially he noticed a kind of calm and peace.  He released the shadow binds around her wrists but sent more to surround her creating a maze of shadows and lines. 

“Don’t fear the shadows Temari.  Learn to dance amongst them.”

Temari with focused eyes and a determined spirit moved gracefully between the lines.  She landed in pockets of light and moved swiftly before she could become trapped.  He watched on enchanted as she leaped and moved effortlessly avoiding what he threw at her.  It was as though she was floating, gliding in the wind above the darkness.

*

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Runways (Model AU ShikaTema):

Unrestrained raged swirled in Shikamaru’s normally soft brown eyes as he held Temari’s shaking body.  His glare was heavy on the cowering figure trembling on the floor. 

“My family will bury you.  I will make sure that you never work in this industry again.”

Temari was taken aback by the ice in his voice and all she wanted was for this night to be over and for life to return to normal. “Shikamaru...”  Temari’s voice quivered in a frighteningly unfamiliar way and his protective hold tightened.

“I’m sorry-” 

In spite of himself, Shikamaru laughed off the worthless attempt to quell his anger.  “It’s far too late for apologies.  I suggest that you leave now. That you make it so that no one remembers your name or face because by the time that I’m done you will wish that you never crossed a Nara.”

*

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Stalemate (Mafia AU, ShikaTema)

Shikamaru’s midnight eyes surveyed the crash of sweaty bodies moving and pulsating to a heavy beat. He took a long drag of his cigarette overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and heavy bass. It wasn’t often that he made the trek out here often depending on his associates to check on their businesses.  His father told him though that it was important for the king to be seen by his people.  

For a while, his family had to operate in the shadows.  That was no longer the case.  The Naras, Akimichis, and Yamanaka’s ruled this area.  Government officials, police officers anyone who had “power” were all on their payroll.  Very few things happened in this city without them knowing.  Everyone knew who they were and they no longer tried to hide it.  

When he was younger he’d complained constantly that this was a drag. He never wanted to become the head of the Nara crime family.  It wasn’t his choice, it was his destiny.  Still, he grew into the role and had accomplished more than they’d ever dreamed. 

He didn’t delight in the benefits of being an infamous crime boss. The club was far too loud. The women who threw themselves at him were too troublesome. 

His eyes continued to scan the room before they fell upon one person his heart began to beat wildly. From where he stood he could tell she was a striking blonde but there was something different.  Something was drawing him towards her.  He studied her for a while.  Becoming increasingly frustrated as she flirted and smiled at the club patrons.  His hands clutched painfully around the balcony railing as he tried to keep his anger in check. 

He called his security detail over.

“The blonde bartender, bring her to my office.”

“Yes sir.” 

*

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Protective Instincts (Mafia AU, SaiIno, Mafia Princess Ino, Bodyguard Sai *same universe as “Stalemate” ^)

The tension in the back of the SUV was suffocating.  The air heavy, anger rolling off of the man sitting next to her. 

“Sai...I-”  Ino began before being cut off.  

“Don’t, I’m barely holding it together right now.  I just need a minute.”

A beat of silence passed. “Are you mad at me?”  She pouted and despite how angry and upset he was Sai shook his head.  

“No, I could never be mad at you.  I’m mad at your actions and the stupid risks you take but no, never at you.”  

Satisfied with his response and sensing that he was calmer Ino crawled into his lap settling her head against his chest.

He knew that he should push her away.  It wasn’t necessarily appropriate for her to be this familiar with him but she melted so perfectly against him. He felt whole when she was in his arms. 

“I’m sorry Sai, I should have told you.  I just wanted a regular fun, night out.”

“But you’re not a regular person.  You put yourself at risk.”

“Sai, it’s one of our clubs, nothing was going to happen.”

“I can’t take that chance, Princess.  I knew that I shouldn't have taken the night off.  The person on your guard tonight is fucking dead.”

Her eyes widened feeling guilt crash over her.  She still had to learn that her decisions had very real consequences.  “Sai, no.  Please, it’s not his fault.  I snuck out.  I manipulated and orchestrated the whole thing.  Please don’t take it out on him.”

“Ino.”

She forced his gaze to meet hers.  “I’ll deal with my dad if it gets to him. Please.”

“Fuck, fine.  He and I are going to have a talk for sure but that will be all.  I promise.”

Ino sighed in relief knowing that he’d keep his promise.  “Thank you.”

“Why did you take tonight off?  It’s not like you.”

He took a deep breath his fingers pushing back stray hairs away from her eyes.  “I just needed a break, Beautiful.  Clearly, it didn’t last long.  I can’t take my eyes off of you for a second.”

She relaxed into his chest.  “I like your eyes on me.”

*

**

Obscura (NSFW SaiIno- Lemonade Series) -Idea courtesy of @ promptmaker 

Sai grinned as Ino moved into the next pose. She was a natural in front of the camera and seeing that smile always made him happy. 

He’d purchased the camera recently as an attempt to explore a new artistic medium. Especially now that he had memories worth capturing. Ino happily volunteered to be his subject. He was thankful that after this he’d have a whole set of photos of his Light. 

“Great job Beautiful these look incredible.” He complimented her drawing her into a kiss. 

“Thank you, Sai.”  She paused for a minute before her eyes lifted back to his a playful look in those baby blues. 

“I have an idea for a for pictures if you don’t mind.” 

He nodded excitedly about the prospect. He enjoyed any time that they shared together.  “Of course not Beautiful, whatever you’d like.  Let me just adjust these lights.” 

When he turned back around he was surprised to see that she’d removed her top and was now leaning forward her breasts heavy and exposed.  A mischievous smile across her lips.  

“Fuck.”  He breathed.  So she wanted those kinds of pictures.

*

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Main Course (NSFW ChoKarui- Lemonade Series -Idea courtesy of @ promptmaker

“I made you all your favorite food and this is what you want to do instead.”  Karui teased Chouji her honey eyes glowing with anticipation.  

Chouji grinned as his mouth descended over her delicate neck.  “I think that you’re mistaken Sweetheart.  You are by far my favorite thing to eat.”  She could feel his grin against her skin.  

“Besides, if you didn’t want this to happen you would know better than to make yourself look so appetizing.”  He countered his hands grazing over the skin that the apron left exposed.

Goosebumps erupted over her skin her breathing coming out in short pants.  “Well, perhaps we should have dessert first.”

*

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So that’s what we’ve got folks.  Actually even just making this post is inspiring me to finish/write!  Are there any that you’re interested in reading?  thank you for getting this far and for supporting me. 

So on the incredibly rare occasion that I do write romance, I have the ability to write one (1) single romance and that is all, and that’s Dumb Fools in Love. Which hopefully fits here, because it’s Glass Girl’s namesake day, so i gotta at least try for @speedythecat, it’s what she desERVES.

(happy valentines this is disgusting fluff anyways i love u speedy)

Lloyd likes the way construction paper sounds. It’s kind of therapeutic, the sound it makes as he drags the scissors through the middle. It’s even more satisfying when he uses them to start stabbing gaping holes through the paper, because he went and ruined the stupid heart shape again, and now he’s running out of pink and red construction paper that doesn’t look like he took a vicious katana to it and went crazy.

“Stupid scissors—”

He doesn’t know if Rain even likes pink or red that much, Lloyd reminds himself dismally, as he untangles his fingers from the scissors. Just that they’re thematically appropriate to the essence of the holiday, or whatever, and they apparently must’ve been the only two colors that existed when whoever came up with Valentine’s Day was around. He hasn’t even found actual purple in any of the little cards he’s seen, just some floral lavender.

Lloyd glances down to the pile of pink and red paper strewn across the table in front of him, then back to the instructions he’s printed out for himself. Then back to the paper.

Maybe he can just like, die instead.

Lloyd is about ninety percent sure that he can’t be the only person to ever look up “how to make Valentine’s Day cards” on the internet before, but it still feels like a crushing blow to his pride and an overall dumb move in general as he does.

But he’s only slightly desperate right now, and he really doesn’t want to reach fully desperate, so he’s willing to suck up his pride if it means not totally ruining his girlfriend’s hopes and dreams by giving her a sub-par and ultimately disappointing Valentine’s Day card that looks like he doesn’t even understand the holiday in the first place.

To be fair, though, he kinda doesn’t.

Like, Lloyd knows what Valentine’s Day is, obviously. He’s not an idiot. He’s just…never really participated in it…as a person. It seems like all the others have cute little stories of getting paper cut-outs and candy hearts in grade school (which he can get behind, if there’s candy), but Lloyd’s experience in grade school was general scorn toward anything love-related at all. Valentine’s Day was well out of the question. Lloyd didn’t even know it existed until he walked straight into a street stand that looked like red and pink had thrown up all over it, before being drowned in like, twenty-dozen bouquets of roses.

He’d been an awful brat of a child then, so at the time, he’d dealt with it by kicking the stand over and being totally grossed out. Now, however, he’s left wondering if those bouquets are worth the money, or if he should invest in the slightly bigger ones they sell over on the east side stands.

How the tables have turned, Lloyd sighs miserably to himself, struggling to peel another stubborn strip of glitter glue from his hand where it’s dried there, sparkling mockingly at him.  Finally digging the glue free, Lloyd brushes his hands off and glances down at his paper.

Go for handmade.

Well, that one’s easy, ‘cause there’s no way Lloyd’s physically bringing himself to walk into a store and buy Rain some cheesy card with a bunch of generic hearts on it. This, of course, leaves the problem that Lloyd now has to come up with the card, and the only thing that’s coming to mind are generic, cheesy hearts.

Hmm. Lloyd taps the edge of the table, humming beneath his breath. He can draw pretty well, but he’s not like, an artist. Not like Cole is, or anything. Lloyd is a lot better at cartoon characters and funny little caricatures of the others than he is, say, detailed roses or something.

Rain likes cats, right? he muses. He could draw a cat, and then maybe have it holding a heart, or something. That’d be kinda cute, maybe. And then he’d get to make some awful pun like “you’re paw-sitively purr-fect”—

Lloyd slams his head down on the table. Nope. This is why he’s not allowed to come up with the idea himself. He’s worse than all the awful grocery store cards put together.

Something in his nose tickles, and he sneezes, sending up sparkly dust all around him. Lloyd blinks, then bites back a moan. Belatedly, he realizes he’s just dunked his head in glitter dust.

It could’ve been the glue, he tries to comfort himself.

Figuring he’s already doomed, Lloyd makes peace with the fact that he’s just going to live the rest of his day resembling a blond disco ball, and lifts his head to return to task, squinting at what’s next on the list.

Make it personal.

Again, that one should be easy too, because it’s Rain. But what’s supposed to count as personal? Is it like, I-love-you personal, or here’s-a-reference-to-inside-joke-number-fifty-eight kind of personal? Should he do both? He and Rain have too many inside jokes, though, it’ll take him half the day to pick one, and he’s already running out of time. Rain’s supposed to be back at noon, and Lloyd does not have that kind of time to kill.

He drums his fingers against the table-top, staring at the outlined drawing of Rain his fingers have absently started sketching out, right next to his doodles of little cats and a mini-Overlord raging terror on the glitter glue scattered across the paper.

Lloyd frowns at the last one. Oops. Well, he can’t give her this now.

“Is that supposed to be the Overlord? You can’t give Rain that for Valentine’s Day.”

Lloyd jumps half a foot out of his chair and slams his knee into the table just so that his entire leg goes dead, his shriek of surprise strangling off as he chokes on the erupting cloud of glitter dust.

By the time he winds down coughing, wiping the reflexive tears from his eyes and glaring, Kai is just staring at him, mildly concerned and whole lot unimpressed.

“A little warning, please.”

“I’ve been standing here for five minutes, bud, it’s not my fault you’re in dreamland.” Kai glances down at the table-top of scattered construction paper and glitter dust, and his mouth trembles, like he’s holding back laughter. “Are you…trying to make a card, or mass-murdering our construction paper supply?”

Lloyd feels his cheeks go scarlet, and he sputters. “I’m not — no, I’m just—” He waves his hands in the air, wishing he could disappear. “Valentine’s Day,” he finally says, haplessly. “Rain. Card.”

“Ah,” Kai says, nodding. He eyes the butchered pile of paper. “It’s going…good, then?”

Lloyd buries his face in his hands, groaning. “I keep ruining it. I’ve never done Valentine’s Day before, Kai, this is a disaster. Rain’s gonna hate it.”

“Aw, don’t say that,” Kai says, sliding into the chair next to him, patting him on the shoulder. “Rain’ll be fine with…whatever…you end up making. It’s not that big a deal.” He laughs, rolling his eyes. “I mean, it’s not like she’s going to get horribly upset because you butchered her favorite holiday and dump you for some chump with better taste.”

Lloyd freezes dead, his eyes widening. He has not yet considered this option. What if he does ruin Rain’s entire holiday with his awful gift? What if, by completely disrespecting her last name’s namesake — thing — she does get horribly upset and runs off with like, Ariya to the desert or something, and—

Kai blinks, then his eyes go wide. “Lloyd, wait — no, it was a joke, Lloyd, don’t get that look on your face — Nya!”

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And that’s how Lloyd ends up cornered by his entire team at the kitchen table, covered in glitter dust and currently living out his worst life as they try to decide the best way for him not to totally sabotage his love life in one go.

“Honestly, I never really got Valentine’s Day,” Kai remarks. “I didn’t get the whole grade school experience as much, since we homeschooled for the most part. It’s just a lot of hearts and chocolate and flowers and stuff, right?”

“Um, it’s a lot more than that,” Jay rolls his eyes. “It was classroom warfare. Your like, entire life status was measured by how many Valentines you’d get. It was totally lame,” he scowls.

“I dunno, I always got a whole lot,” Cole muses. “I could never figure out why, though. I wasn’t super popular, or anything...”

They all stare at Cole for a beat, where he stands haloed beneath the kitchen lights in all his wavy-haired glory.

“Hopeless,” Jay sighs.

“This isn’t grade school, though,” Nya says. “This is Lloyd’s actual relationship, which we are helping him with, so let’s hear actual helpful stuff, please.”

“Again,” Kai shrugs. “Flowers. Chocolate. Hearts. Bam, you’re good.”

“For crying out loud,” Jay groans. “How do magazines keep labeling you the smooth one.”

“Hold on, he’s got a point with the chocolate part,” Cole points out.

“Of course, you would choose that part to focus on,” Zane sighs.

“Guys, enough,” Nya cuts over them. “I said helpful stuff, not the most generic ideas ever. I mean, chocolate’s nice, but Lloyd’ll probably eat it all before it gets to Rain anyways—”

“I would not!” Lloyd protests.

“—and the card’s gonna be the focal point, so hearts are covered.” Nya glances down the pile of butchered construction paper in front of Lloyd, and winces. “We’ll, uh, help you with that part. But first, let’s plan.” She tugs a half-torn piece of construction paper toward her, uncapping a marker. “What all does Rain like, for starters?”

“Well,” Lloyd pauses, thinking. “She does like flowers, and — no, no I am not going to ask Lief for help, no way, not a chance.”

“Just a suggestion!” Jay throws his hands up in defense. “He’s her friend, though, so he’d probably have some ideas, y’know?”

“So. Not. Worth it.”

“Okay, okay, geez.”

Nya rolls her eyes, but scribbles ‘flowers — not from Lief’ on the paper anyways. “Good, but that’s still pretty standard stuff. Anything else a little more creative? Something that really says Rain to you.”

“She likes rocks,” Lloyd nods.

The marker squeaks violently on the paper, and Nya makes a dying sound in the back of her throat. Kai breaks into snickering, and Jay whacks him on the shoulder, giggling.

“There you go, bud, perfect Valentine’s gift. Give her a rock.”

“No,” Nya says firmly, glaring at Jay. She then turns the glare on Lloyd, who immediately shrinks lower in his seat. “Rocks, Lloyd, really — okay. Okay, do you know anything else she likes? That’s not rocks?”

“Uh, she likes…glass?” Lloyd says, weakly. “And um, seashells. And tea, and — she really does like rocks, I’m serious! Like, cool ones—“

“You are not giving Rain a rock for Valentine’s Day!”

“A cool rock!”

“That doesn’t make it any more acceptable!”

“Ughhh.” Lloyd slides down in his chair with a dying moan, throwing his arms over his face. “You ruin everything. She likes those little paper cranes, I guess. And, uh…”

“You,” Zane reminds him. “She likes you. Therefore, she will most likely love anything you give her, since it’s from you.”

Normally, Lloyd would just scoff at that, but Zane’s voice is so sincere it actually helps, a little. Lloyd sits up in his seat a bit, his crossed arms loosening. “Well…”

“Yeah! So why don’t you just draw her a cat that says like, ‘you’re purr-fect’, or something?” Jay suggests. “That sounds like you.”

Lloyd slams his head against the table, once again accidentally dunking himself in glitter dust. He can’t bring himself to care this time, because the whole world apparently just knows him for terrible puns.

“Stop being so melodramatic, you’re going to remind her of her brother,” Nya clips. Lloyd chokes on his tongue, and dissolves into a fit of manic sputtering as Kai claps him on the back, encouraging him to breathe.

“—was just a joke, Lloyd, don’t take her seriously.”

“—time and place, Nya, time and place—!”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

It takes several disastrous attempts and more than a few marker wars — Kai in particular is sporting some spectacular pink sharpie marks along the side of his face, and Lloyd’s got streaking red marks across his forearms as the price for protecting his own face — but Lloyd end up with one brightly-colored, cursive-lettered Valentine’s card for Rain.

He’s feeling pretty confident in it, actually. It says everything he wants it to say, while looking pretty but dignified, and it’s only got one cat on it, so he’s — he’s pretty sure Rain will like it. A lot more than any of his other disastrous attempts, he assures himself. Now all he’s gotta do is grab the flowers Nya made him promise to get, and according to both Wikihow and his family, he’ll have the perfect Valentine. Armed with that knowledge, Lloyd strides confidently for the kitchen table to grab an envelope.

Only to freeze dead when he comes face-to-face with Rain, who’s bent over studying said disastrous attempts from earlier, that he’s left out in full view on the kitchen table like a complete moron.

Rain’s currently got one of his first attempts in her hands, her finger tracing the little design he’d drawn. Her hair’s down right now, all silvery and smooth and falling over her face, so he can’t see her expression.

Lloyd is highly considering running for the hills by like, hurling himself out the kitchen window, when Rain turns around, the end her nose still red from the outside cold, freckles standing out more than usual on her cheeks. Lloyd freezes in place.

She holds up one of the ruined cards. “Are all these...for me?”

Lloyd’s soul makes the executively wise decision to exit his body right then.

“They’re — I — no, they’re for, uh—”

Lloyd’s mind backfires. Shoot, he can’t say they’re for someone else, they’ve got ‘I love you’ and other sappy stuff all over them, what’s he supposed to do—

“They’re, uh, for my grandmother.”

Rain raises an eyebrow. “Your grandmother…named Rain,” she says slowly, reading the name that’s brightly plastered everywhere.

“Her name’s Rain too,” Lloyd tries, weakly.

Rain raises her other eyebrow. She wordlessly holds up one of the cards, pointing to where “Rain Allira Valentine” is highlighted. Lloyd mentally makes a note to murder Kai later as her finger slides down to the “Mr. Rain Valentine” right below, her lips trembling as she tries to hold back a snicker.

“Um.” At least she’s laughing, Lloyd tells himself. She hasn't run off to the desert yet. “I have a better one for you, I swear. Those are just — really, really bad first attempts, which you were never supposed to see, ever.”

Please forget they ever existed, is on the tip of his tongue, but Rain’s expressions softens, her eyes fond as she looks from the cards to him.

“I don’t know, these are…kinda sweet,” she admits, her cheeks going a bit pink.

“Oh,” Lloyd says, his own face heating. “That’s! That’s good, I guess. I mean, this new one’s — it’s a whole lot better, though, and uh…” He frantically rubs the back of his head, trying to get his brain back online and working properly again. Unfortunately, the action sends a tiny shower of sparkles raining from his hand, and Lloyd remembers in horror that he never got that glitter dust out.

Rain smirks, biting back a laugh. “Hold on,” she says, stepping in close. “You’ve got some — here.”

She pushes a hand through his hair, her fingers gently tangling through the thick blond strands before pulling away, leaving her fingers stained in glitter dust. She gives a tiny snicker, then brushes at his hair with her other hand, neatly sweeping a shower of glitter dust from it before carefully tousling his hair back in place.

“There,” she says. “Now you don’t look as much like a disco ball.”

“Maybe I wanted to look like a disco ball,” Lloyd says, petulantly. “Lloyd Disco Ball Garmadon, that’s me.”

“Then I’d have to make you another Valentine’s card,” Rain says, and Lloyd finally spots the envelope she’s been keeping behind her back. “Because I definitely messed up your middle name, if that’s the case.”

Lloyd blinks rapidly. “Wait, you got me one?”

Rain freezes, looking unsure. “Um…yes? That’s kind of…the point, right? You give Valentine’s to people you lo—like—um, love.”

Lloyd’s definitely red now. “I-I probably wouldn’t know,” he finally stammers. “Darkley’s wasn’t too big on Valentine’s.”

Lloyd immediately wants to hit himself, because Rain’s here being sweet and talking about love, and he’s bringing up Darkley’s like a motor-mouthed moron. And now Rain looks sad, and is it too late for Lloyd to pitch himself out the window—?

“Well, lucky for you, I know all about it,” Rain suddenly says, firmly. “You’ll just have to spend the day with me, so I can give you the run-down.”

“That I can do,” Lloyd grins brightly in relief.

“It’s a date, then,” Rain beams, before her smile hitches in laughter. “And you, um, you have more glitter. On your cheek.”

Lloyd wipes quickly at his face. “Oh, come on — did I get it?”

“No, now you’re just — okay, stop, I’ll get it, hold on.”

Rain steps nearer again, brushing her thumb across his cheek once, then again. “There,” she nods satisfied. She doesn’t move back, though, standing close enough that Lloyd can count her freckles, and see every shade of teal in her eyes. There’s a hint of a smile left on her face, and Lloyd swallows. This would probably be like, the perfect time to—

“For FSM’s sake, kiss her, you moron, she’s totally set you up for it—”

Kai’s voice cuts off in a strangled choking sound as Nya throttles him while both Rain and Lloyd go scarlet, and Lloyd makes another mental note to murder Kai a second time later.

“Wanna go out?” Lloyd suggests hastily, his face flaming. “The candy’s probably not gonna be on sale yet, but I bet we can get someone to cut us a deal.”

“Yes,” Rain nods fervently. “Let’s — out. Go out. Of here, sounds good.”

“Great,” Lloyd says, then snatches both their jackets from the hook before fleeing, Rain trailing behind him as they sprint past the others, stifling laughter as Lloyd desperately avoids making eye contact with anyone. Rain’s muffling giggles too, though, and Lloyd can’t help breathing out a laugh as he flings open the doors tumbling out into the chilly February weather.

“So, I have a question,” he says, as their footsteps fall into pace down the street. “What do you think of like, rocks as a present?”

“Hm, I don’t know. Is it like, a cool rock?”

“I mean, hypothetically? Yeah, a super cool rock.”

“Well, if it’s super cool. Then that’d be a good one, I guess.”

“I knew it—!”

good news everyone! I’m making serious progress on... a comic! yay! sorta!

Since I’ve been posting more about my process and art here is a little process post!

Panel 1: final background + frog princess (speech bubble: Giddafuck out my swamp)

Panel 2: marker drawing with color correction

Panel 3: Marker with lineart added

Panel 4: White fog has been added for fog effect

Panel 5: more shadows on the stones, plants, building, reflection in the water, and light has been added, but before more color correction was done

Panel 6: a “bright” alternative color version (eg less moody lighting)

So... if everyone doesn’t know, I really struggle with making comics in particular and more detailed pieces of art as well. I simply find it very difficult to come back to a project I have “started” in some way, I basically give up or have to really push myself and that takes a long time and is not very fun for me, so I tend to drop comic projects fairly quickly. There’s also the fact I find digital painting, particularly for backgrounds, really difficult and not fun.

That’s one of the reasons my first comic project, Hand of Crystalline, looked like this:

It’s backgrounds were a (kind of sloppy) mix of gouache and watercolor! I really love those mediums but they can be a pain in  the ass in terms of drying times which does not make for a smooth drawing process. Like I said, my ability to concentrate on a whole project at a time is kind of nonexistent! So! Waiting for watercolor to dry made this much more difficult to do all at once.

From what I see on the internet, most comic artists go like this: Script -> thumbnails -> layout/ full sketches -> lineart -> color -> text/bubbles and, besides doing the backgrounds separately, thats what I /tried/ with Crystalline. Which is probably why both times I tried to start it, it took so long to complete each page. When starting a project I can basically do Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 as long as they’re all at the same time, but if I start Step 1, I have a lot of trouble motivating myself to go back to Step 2, essentially.

So! To solve my two main problems (backgrounds and Motivation) I’m doing things a little differently this time around. I have already done thumbnailing, script, and laid out panels, and I’m going to try and just fill them in step by step so I don’t struggle so much motivating myself. That way, one panel can be complete and I can move on to the next one, etc, and even if im not totally satisfied with it I don’t have to look at it 300 times while coloring!

And I’m drawing in marker!

I’m not like super good in marker! (And I’m still shit at perspective lol) heres my first draft of that drawing which i way overdid

which i managed to make like... half better digitally but still ended up redrawing

but I’ll be learning, trying to improve. If you’re wondering why i dont just *try to improve* at digital painting I just... don’t find it that fun, its a completely different way of drawing and I simply don’t like it very much! Maybe someday I can but right now i dont have a super amount of time to practice drawing 24/7 *before* starting a comic and I’ll be way happier with the comic if I’m trying in a medium I actually enjoy.

Finally, the actual post above: is not quite the finished picture but a preview of a background from the first section of the comic. more to come soon!

17 things I learned before turning 17

According to my birth certificate, I turn 17 this year. It's weird because part of me still feels 4 and part of me feels 113, but the actual age I currently am is 16. I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned. I honestly don’t know what I’m writing and looking back, this post is literally just me rambling and talking about my life and ideas that maybe are cliche. But I wanted to make this post about things I’ve learned so far in life and who knows, maybe these thoughts will evolve as I grow.

1. Crying is not a weakness - I used to always think crying was a sign of weakness or losing to someone or giving in. But as I’ve grown and experienced more things that make me want to cry, I’ve come to understand that crying is therapeutic and it helps me move on. I have to move past hardships somehow and crying is my form of coping and healing.

2. I love traveling - my family has always loved traveling ever since I was really little. I used to always be the one in daycare and elementary going to Mexico or China during breaks and later on, London, Paris, Vienna, Singapore. All these wonderful places, some I can’t even remember. Now that I’m older, I’ve fallen in love with traveling and I enjoy seeing the culture, architecture, art, way of life, and everything a country has to offer. I’ve been to 45 countries and I’m almost 17. That’s crazy and I’m so grateful for every experience and I can’t wait for more.

3. sweatshirts, sweaters, and tights are the best thing to wear - I’ve basically given up on looking nice most of the time. Comfort is always first and soft sweatshirts and hoodies and sweaters are the best for napping in and watching shows and cramming studying sessions and homework. also tights are the best thing ever cause they basically look nice with everything I wear.

4. stationery is obsessive - I love love love stationery and it’s honestly not a healthy obsession but I just can’t help myself. Every colored pen, marker, highlighter, little stickers and everything you can think of, I will probably have or want to buy when I’m in stores. I’ve recently been obsessed with zebra sarasa pens and mild liners (the pastel colors!!!)

5. Taylor Swift concerts are the happiest place to be - I’ve always imagined what Taylor concerts would be like and it was at the top of my bucket list forever because I had never been able to convince my mom to take me. My mom was always worried about safety which is understandable, but I convinced her to take me to the reputation tour. It was such a worthwhile experience and my mom and I enjoyed every moment. Taylor has such a way of making you feel at home and connected with her. I was so genuinely happy that night, singing my heart out and forgetting all my worries and insecurities for a night. I can’t wait to go to another show (hopefully soon) and I hope all of y’all will get to go to one eventually.

6. Italian food is the best food around.- pasta, gelato, pizza and omg Italian food is just amazing. That’s it. There’s nothing else to say really.

7. I’m addicted to coffee, fairy lights, and aesthetics. - Coffee is something i always need and it just tastes so good. I usually get a iced caramel macchiato but I’ve also been loving stronger coffee tastes recently. Also I don’t get any sleep during school so basically I live off caffeine. The fairy lights in my room make me so happy and warm and are a great stress reliever. Definitely recommend. Aesthetics!!! Literally love scrolling through tumblr and Pinterest for hours to look at aesthetic photos and edits and I love seeing my friend’s edits and discovering new editors and ahh!!!! definitely check them out and give them the love they deserve. Editors work so hard.

8. Art is a form of therapy - I love doing art whenever I’m stressed because it helps me forget everything. And I don’t think you have to be really talented or draw anything complex because whenever I draw stuff for competition, I always feel stressed. It’s the small doodles and careless sketches that make me feel the happiest.

9. true friends are it replaceable - I’ve realized how important a good friend is and having a person that is always there to talk to and share your worst and best moments with is something that will make your life infinitely better. You don’t need a bunch to feel happy. One true, honest one is all that one ever needs but that doesn’t mean that you should stop meeting new people cause you never know who will become your best friend or who needs you. Never stop making friends but eliminate the toxic ones.

10. having scars is not a bad thing - I’ve learned that having a history and a part of your life that is bad doesn’t make you a bad person or shameful. It is what makes you the person you are today and you should embrace it and use it to better yourself or help other.

11. Music has always been there for me - listening to music and making playlists and discovering songs is such a huge part of my life. There’s a song for every emotion and music can be so healing. So go listen to some nice songs and discover just how nice music can make one feel.

12. Put yourself first- it’s not selfish - I used to always think that thinking of myself and my feelings first was selfish. So I put others first and forgot to take care of myself. But I’ve realized that you can’t love others and help others to the full potential until you are happy with yourself and you feel content with your life and are at a good place yourself. So if you need to take care of your mental health or whatever is important to you, do it. The people who truly love you will understand and be there the whole time.

13. Don’t let your anxiety take over - anxiety can be difficult and uncontrollable and sometimes it is necessary to take care of yourself. But learning how to cope is part of the healing process and you should not let your anxiety ruin your day and should push to experience new things and go out of your comfort zone.

14. Society has unnecessary standards for woman - ok tell me why we are obligated to shave, to have nice hair, to have perfect makeup and perfect skin, and to fit a mold. I’ve found that women’s dress code can be so strict and unnecessary compared to men’s. Women are expected to do more and to fight more for what they want and to be caring, model-like, and many other “traditionally woman” things but that isn’t every women and I don’t think everyone has to adhere to those standards.

15. It is vital to become educated and know your values - this world is so complex and there’s so much out there to learn and become educated on. I think it is important to know about history and current events and become educated enough to have your own values and know why you stand by them. To me, this is part of growing up and becoming your own person and I’m always working on that. I’ve yet to achieve it but I’ve made progress.

16. “may your heart remain breakable but never by the same hands twice”.-I want to be able to put down the thick wall around my heart and to let myself love and feel again. I want to let people into my life more that make me smile and feel safe, even if it means getting hurt again. I want to allow myself to trust others and to build more relationships with people. I think it’s hard because I’ve felt abandoned and hurt so much but some tiny part of me hoped that one day, I’ll be ready to accept someone. And I think this is important for everyone to do or work towards.

17. Step into the daylight and let it go. - something I have definitely learned and am still working on doing daily is learning to let go. I’ve realized that it’s not easy, and some part of me always wants to nitpick on every tiny mistake in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully satisfied with myself and I will always value improvement. But I’ve realized that the amount of stress I have over uncontrollable aspects of life is too much. So I think that sometimes it’s best to just take a deep breath and move on. you only have so long to live so instead of dwelling on the past, you have to move on and work on improving the future.

Lettering tutoral, kindof

Heya! This one is terribly overdue, but here's to you @glacierkato​ ! and the request you made in January

Let's do some lettering :)

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert by a long way. I did not even study the right way, but I did discover what works for me... kinda? So I'm more than happy to share my methods :))

1. Lines

In general lettering is all about lineweight, making it perfect for chumps like me who refuse to learn properly. This will defenetly help improve your understanding of lineweight across all your work. Lineweight is all about using both the thick and the thin lines in your work to make shapes and lines more interesting. Lineweight usually is all about pen pressure. Low pen pressure results in thin lines, high penpressure results in thick lines. There is ofcourse much more than just thick and thin. you can vary in all shapes and sizes by varying pressure.

The traditional way of handlettering uses smooth strokes and a variation of up stroke and downstroke to achieve marvelous and elegant shapes and lines. Up stroke is a thin line, having little pressure on your pen as you move it up. Downstroke is heavy, putting lots of pressure on the pen as you move it down.

This might sound like a lot of practive to master... and it is. As you can see in my example I barely did it right. You might be familiar with this way of practicing lines over and over. lettering is something you probably practiced in grade school when learning to write cursive. Remember those exersices where you needed to mimic letter shape time and time again to get it consistent? That's the key to learning up stroke and down stroke. I was and still am very bad at those, but you can get fancy practice sheets everywhere nowadays by googeling “lettering practice sheet” You can also easily make your own, Youtube is also filled to the brim with tutorials just search “Handlettering” and off you go!

Keep that practice part in mind if you are really commited to learning lettering. You'll need to practice lots of repetitions. However there are multiple "hacks" to get the same effects without countless hours of practice, ways that don't use up and down stroke to achieve line variation. This is what I use... ‘cus I’m impatient... I'll get to that later

2. Materials

Anything you have.

You don't need expensive materials to start lettering. I started out with one (1) sharpie. Heck you can achieve similar results with sidewalk chalk or even paint. ANY. THING. YOU. HAVE.

Not to say there are not A METRIC TON of different and cool materials availible to try and experiment with!! That's the fun part:) What's cool is now that there is a lettering craze happening, my local dollar store regularly sells cheap knockoffs that are perfect for me to try and mess around with.

I'll discuss a few tools here, or you can skip this section and get down to the nitty gritty.

Pen

Plain, pure and honest pen, pencil,- heck even ballpoint. These all share one thing. You can't vary linethickness with them, but you can mimic thick and thin lines. boom. life: hacked.

Brush pens / dip pens: The traditional art way of getting the pen pressure thing

drawing tablet: Uses settings to calculate your en pressure, use a brush that eables pen pressure and boom, you got yourself a digital brush.

WHAAAAAT? Yes you can absolutely use the lineweight on your drawing tablet to practice and create up-and downstroke. Bonus is you can download any effect in a brush format. con is... you need to learn to control your tablet and that takes practice and time...

Chisel tipped pens: Fancier dudes for cool lettering effects. Has a flat edge and when you turn the brush you’ll get thick and thin strokes.

As for inks, anything and everything. Go digital, use fountain pen inks, indian ink, alcohol markers, water color, anything your heart desires <3

3. Methods

handlettering

Basically you apply the correct forms here, study the type of letters (or font) you want to letter and practice the correct form, using those up- and down strokes to vary lineweight. I used red lines below to indicate me trying to figure out the movement of the strokes in this type. Again there are loads of tutorials availible on youtube, just search “handlettering tutorial” and off you go! I was in a rush and did not practice nearly enough hahaha

faux lettering

Here’s my “fake it ‘till you make it” trick. Do I look like someone who has the patience to learn lettering?? .... well...maybe? But I didn’t, that’s the point! I don’t know why, but I never had enough attention to learn the classic forms of drawing... uuh oops?

You basically use the sketch and fill method and copy the pretty forms that your heart demands so. Like this:

4. Embelishments

My favorite part. Some of you may know I'm a goblin when it comes down to adding little petty details, my eyes see shineys and I gotta draw them, so I like this part most >:)

Here reference is key as well. I love taking inspiration from illuminated manuscripts or look up plants and stuff. And then I just add ‘em >:)

After sketching, color add details, rinse and repeat untill satisfied or frustrated

5. Reference Material and Link List

So here's my linklist of reference I use when lettering. I have a whole pinterest board with collected works from which I draw inspiration

Font inspiration: https://nl.pinterest.com/a3811/inspiration/typography/

Pattern inspiration: https://nl.pinterest.com/a3811/inspiration/tatoos-and-patterns/

DaFont.com or any other font site like fontsquirrel or 10001fonts for inspiration and complete fonts to use, sorted by type and appearance and usually with an input box to geneerate sample text. Perfect for inspiration and practice.

That’s it! Hope this helps someone. Message me if you want me to go into detail on something. I tried to keep this brief.

6. Bonus step: Shitpost. Thanks for reading!

Spoopy Kitty

After doing so much painting stuff lately--watercolor, acrylic, water-soluble pencils, etc--I had a bit of a craving to take a break and do something a little more true to form for me, which meant either colored pencils or alcohol markers. I have a new-ish (I've had it for a little over a month but prior to this had only put one drawing in it) sketchbook with really nice, smooth 120 lb. mixed media paper that is great for alcohol markers, and markers are a lot faster to work with, so they won that argument pretty quickly. I also decided to do something fall-related, since the season soon approaches, and if I'm being totally honest I did think something fall-themed would make a nice addition to my RedBubble shop, too, since I've been trying to pay more attention to that aspect of my art networking lately. Naturally, I thought of three things that are kind of "Generic Fall" things: Pumpkins, leaves, and black cats. Which almost immediately led me to a black cat on a pumpkin with leaves, and after a few minutes perusing Pinterest for a little extra inspiration, I had more or less solidified the idea of what I wanted to do in my head. I've drawn cats before on a few occasions, but for someone who loves cats as much as I do, I don't draw them very often because I always feel like I'm missing something in the stylization. Which probably means I need to draw them more often, not less, but I digress. The point I'm trying to make is that this time I looked around, again on Pinterest, and tried to look at how I was drawing the kitty from a fresh angle and not rely on my old habits. And this I think worked out pretty good in the end. There's something about the face on this one that I'm a lot more comfortable with than my past attempts and I think the overall look is just cuter and nicer on the eyes. The kitty also ended up being a minimally shaded dark gray because I was trying to keep the fur from totally blending in with the outlines, and then I kinda messed up the shading on the face so I had to go back and layer it up more than I wanted to in order to blend out the kinks.  I did end up going back and outlining the mouth with my white gel pen, just because it was so hard to see in-person. Otherwise, for once I tried to avoid using my gel pens and wanted to really let the markers have a chance in the spotlight by themselves. I had a little trouble figuring out what to do with the kitty's scarf, both in terms of how the tails were placed and in balancing the reddish color out, and it's still not totally perfect in either department, but it works well enough for what I had in mind. The pumpkin was actually the easier part, both coloring, and drawing. I did have a few mishaps while I was inking the whole thing though and that would be why some of the lines on the pumpkin, in particular, are obnoxiously thick, and that would also be why those three swirly-vine bits are there; they're hiding little ink "tails" that I could not reasonably thicken the lines to cover and had no other ideas on how to fix. (Although they didn't turn out perfectly either, the end result still works.) The leaves also had a few different interactions in terms of the way some of them were facing, if some of them existed in the picture at all, and slight placement differences, but for the most part they stayed the same between the sketch and the final version. I did end up adding most of the green ones in after the fact because I felt like that extra pop of color was really needed to relax all the warm colors, and I added the yellow on up the side of the pumpkin specifically to further hide a mishap with one of those swirly-vine-things, and then it's green counterpart on the other side was mostly for balance's sake after that. But the leaf on kitty's tail was planned from the very beginning. Once everything else was pretty much done (I did go back and touch up a few areas color-wise later) I added a bit of a fading shadow under everything, as a little bit of grounding. Originally--back while I was still sketching--I had considered adding a moon and doing a dark blue/purple sky behind the cat, but still leaving everything with the regular simply colors, since nights and full moons are often associated with fall too, but I ultimately decided against that, at least for now (I can always do an alternate version later, especially if I decide to go digital with it) and I'm glad I did; I think there just would've been too many dark tones unless I outlined the kitty in white gel pen, but then I wouldn't've known which out parts of this foreground stuff should be included or not. I did end up going back with my Copic colorless blender and softening/pulling up some of that shadow a bit to make it more subtle, and if I haven't mentioned it before, I think this is one of the "better," "more proper" ways to use colorless blender alcohol markers. I usually have issues with harsh "water"/liquid lines if I try to use them more as the name implies if I'm not careful, and it ends up being more of a pain to try and use it to blend than it is to just leave well enough alone. But generally speaking, I find that the blenders work pretty well for effects like this with more room for forgiveness if it's not quite right on the first pass. Overall, I think it turned out quite cute, and I liked it well enough that I do have another fall-ish kitty piece in the works, as a sort of companion to this one.  Hopefully, that one will be going up as my next piece, but we'll see how the next couple days go and if that changes anything Sometimes it's good to go back to something you're more familiar with when you're in the thralls of experimentation with new things (not really new things but things you haven't played with much), and I think this little refresher is already proving to be beneficial for me. That said, unless something changes, once my next kitty is done I'll probably be back on the watercolor/paint train for a little while.  I keep watching paint videos and naturally I am compelled to join in the painting fun afterward. Also, I've had the itch of purchasing some new supplies to try starting up in my brain again, and it's actually been here for a little while, but I've yet to decide what to grab to satisfy that itch, as there are quite a few choices on my art shopping list  So it may still be here, unsatisfied for a while longer while I try to nail down what to do with it. But rest assured you guys will probably be some of the first to know what ends up happening on that front. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

Artist spotlight: aaron!

✿ Commissions ✿ Ko-fi Tumblr ✿ Tumblr ✿ Instagram

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Introduce yourself I'm aaron and I'm a filipino artist in California! Tokyo Mew Mew was the first manga I ever owned, and my favorites are Ichigo and Lettuce!  I also love Kiyotaka Ishimaru from danganronpa, musicals, and the color yellow. When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I've been drawing ever since I can remember! I used to draw random people, teen titans, or inuyasha. In high school, I got a hand-me-down wacom tablet from a friend and from there, I started creating my own ocs with backstories. I've been a digital artist since then. Do you use any traditional mediums? If so, which are your favorites? I use mechanical pencils and ballpoint pens. I really like using pink, blue, and purple highlighters to color in values, but recently I've been trying to collect actual artistic markers. I think they're calligraphy markers tbh, but they're double sided and they give me more colors so idc XD Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) I really like the accessibility of traditional- I can draw wherever I want, as long as I have a pen and paper. But for showing off my work, I'd much rather it be digital. Digital gives me access to so many colors and I can zoom in to create more details. It's also a lot cleaner than taking a picture with my shaky phone quality. What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? It's difficult for me to choose the correct colors. When I only did traditional, I'd only color in greyscale because that's what mangas did and that's all the colors I had. I can't really work with more than 3-5 tones/colors or else it'll get scared it'll look too busy. I always have to filter my colors to give them a little more life, because the first ones I choose are usually washed out. What inspires your pieces? I draw my ocs a lot! Drawing them in different ways and scenarios helps me solidify their designs and personalities. I will often have phases where I'll draw a LOT of my current favorite oc. Explain your "everyday" drawing process I'll either draw one single character in a flowy pose, or two characters interacting/posing together. I'll digitally sketch something out and keep erasing and re-drawing the lines on the same layer until I have my line art. I block out colors with a binary pen so that my basic color palette looks good and then select each color so I can put detail in it. Depending on how much energy I have, I'll do simple shading or I'll keep the lineart layer a little sketchy and just color over it for a lineless piece. I don't have a lot of practice with lineless because it takes a lot out of me, but sometimes I get really into it

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Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

https://www.instagram.com/treindraws/ (lines/ colors)

https://www.instagram.com/pimikyuu/ (THICK lines, very cartoony)

https://www.instagram.com/thronekin/ (plush shaped characters, cute blush)

https://www.instagram.com/robobogart/ (designs)

https://www.instagram.com/fukashi_gimmick/ (recently followed, bright colors. interesting shapes/flow)

Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why?

https://ubetaro.tumblr.com/post/182234099603/ubetaro-oh-mom-this-might-be-as-far-as-i-go

I really like this one because it's lineless and I put a lot of effort into the hair and giving it different colors

https://ubetaro.tumblr.com/post/181532773553/1shimaru-danganronpa-secretsanta

I am also proud of this one because it's TWO full body characters with a background and soft lighting. It took a lot of effort out of me but it was really satisfying to finish!"

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? Yes! I listen to musicals, chill beats, or 80's/90's music. I can't hear what I'm thinking when the music is too jumpy and fun. I also get distracted when there are people talking, so I can't listen to films or letsplays when I draw

Johnny Balik - Honey khai dreams - through and through NIKI - I Like U Forrest. – Your Soul Lemon Boy - Cavetown Lyin' Eyes- Eagles Billy Joel- For The Longest Time Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love

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What makes art interesting for you? I like making things! I like how my brain comes up with things and i can make those things become a reality through my art. What do you do when art block strikes? If I want to draw, and my art is looking Ugly, then I draw big and messy. Whatever comes to mind naturally, I'll just put it down. I'll draw random people, or big anime eyes. I'll redraw something with a premade design so I don't have to think of the designs myself, or I'll draw someone in a spine-breaking pose and over-exaggerate the features. What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

Experience things! When you experience things, it gives you a personal connection to use in your art.

Art Growth Compilation

I really enjoy doing posts about improvement in art.

It makes me feel better about my work, especially with how busy I am these days.

I wanted to compile all the comparisons I’ve made over the years and kinda discuss the posts, for myself or others.

I thought it’d be funny to start with comparing how I first drew on a tablet, using dodge and burn tools, to how I do now which is using layers and actually painting. It’s funny to look back on that, you know?

I linked the post I made, compiling all the month to month memes from 2003-2017 that I try and do yearly. And everything else is under a cut ;w;’‘/

Most artists have done a drawing of themselves and a few Pokemon, or their team. I did that in 2010, and was dissatisfied with my work...

I took a crack again in 2013 after I’d learned to draw more animals and not be so Edgy(tm) I really liked the results. I still didn’t use references though, because I was lazy. I just didn’t want to. I still was on that boat feeling like I was CHEATING. I wasn’t being CREATIVE if I looked at references.

Artists get stuck on using reference and it’s AWFUL. USE THEM. USE TWENTY. LEARN!! It’s so HELPFUL, I wish I had started sooner.

In 2014 though -

I tried again.

I had gotten better at anatomy, but most of all, I started to work off references more. I started to really focus on not stylizing so much, but to work on actually making things look like things. I started to work on caring about COMPARISON sizes. Composition!!

While Pokemon reference sizes are -wiggle hands- and while my team changed up, I was satisfied that I could draw Arbok ACTUALLY like a cobra now, Meowth is easy given it’s just a noseless cat so to speak, Haunter is literally a triangle cloud - I was satisfied having drawn that team.

My secondary team in the new games? I was excited to draw them. It was fresh and new and FUN and it turned out PRECIOUS.

I learned better how to proportion things in an image for layout, and just... making characters feel COHESIVE in the same space.

It was a nice thing to keep visiting. I have a sketch in the works for an update even hopefully.

These pieces are kind of interesting to me too, because they’re towards the end of my era of THIN lineart?

My lineart has gone from this, and THIS,  to this.

Literally I use to not believe in line weight, I can still do thin work of course, but I’m not a fan of trying to FORCE it like I use to? Even the second link, I went from the SMALLEST brush in Sai, to using a marker brush that had barely ANY give, to a custom brush on Sai that acts like a Paint Chat brush I use to use with friends online!

That’s what I mean about style too, like you may reserve yourself about things - like not coloring black in and outlining with white, or certain ways you do things. But the growth and changing and figuring FUN ways to color that black etc is where the fun of art comes in, to me??

Learn. EXPERIMENT. PUSH!

A few months ago, I did my first redraw. Of this piece from 2012.

Six years difference.

This was interesting for a number of reasons. There’s aspects I like more in the old one, but not many. I really like the pose a bit better, but I like the casual closeness that I did in the new one because that’s more my Shepard.

But technically speaking, it’s worlds better because I took time. I paid attention to details. I did fun things instead of rushing. I took time with my coloring and didn’t SMEAR it around. I had a friend who use to complain I drew so fast and they felt so SLOW, but I love what that taught me. I started taking more time on my art, and enjoying it more since I caught more mistakes and vastly improved. By leaps and bounds.

It’s amazing what a difference six years makes in not only style, which is often a FOCUS of these things? My style has come awkwardly and naturally to me over the years of critically picking certain things apart? but I really love where it’s gotten.

I have things I want to get back to, but I love... where it is, and CAN be?

But it’s wild to me how much change happens in technical handling? It’s a hand in hand thing, you can’t focus on one or the other only, or the other suffers.

Honestly this has been my favorite improvement to notice though?

Kisame was a character I felt I should be able to draw EASILY? Not so much. Itachi? ALSO EASY. Not so much??

Kisame has weird eyes to grasp how to draw? Thus focusing on them kept making them wonky to me!! On top of that, he’s everything I’ve been use to drawing for AGES because he has a muscular body, with a smaller waist? ... that was something I was use to drawing? I still was awkward getting back into the swing of that... Drawing HIS HAIR though? NOT SO EASY....

But like, Itachi should have been easy, but I have a thing about him appearing too feminine as he gets drawn because his eyelashes, and I’ve really found a nice... medium at this point?

But even still like my face styles and eye styles are finally to a comfortable point for me? I have stopped focusing on some weird things with Itachi’s hair and just... DO IT? But even still like...

The improvement here is literally just if I don’t know how to do something, or I’m not satisfied with how I do it? I just keep at it.

It’s a theme of this post honestly... repetition, persistence.

Keep drawing it. Keep trying to figure out what it is that’s catching you off about how you do it. Don’t like how you do eyes or how they fit on the face? Look at facial structures and references and figure it out. Draw them separate and figure out how to apply them to what you are.

Remember there’s a skull in there. I draw the holes in the skull like the eye sockets, and the nose area to help my proportions for SURE.

I’ve also gotten to a nice marriage in my lineart? The piece before the recent one, those lines feel HARDER or HEAVIER? The newest piece seems...softer? Like I’m lighter handed again?

I really like critiquing my own growth on what is good or working better for me? Older pieces it looks like I’m putting lineweight for SAKE of it versus where it goes now?

INTERESTING.

Like this lineup -

My style shifts so RAPIDLY, it still is noticeably MY style to people, but parts shift so VIOLENTLY because I’m constantly picking at what I don’t LIKE.

It’s funny too in the case of Kisame and Itachi because consistently I’m drawing the SAME character over and over - can make you REALIZE how you’re doing something wrong?

Like, here’s a difference of eight years, and it’s all the brush I use now, and it REALLY shows how my style has changed - in the aspect of one point of reference?

I have a childhood favorite character too, of Daisuke, and I use to be bad at drawing boys, and I use to be SUPER bad at drawing fluffy hair?

It was something I specifically started to learn to do? And I started to draw Daisuke every few months or years for a while. Especially when I started to first REALIZE I didn’t like my style that much?

But the middle one was July 2009, top left is less than 6 months later, and the last one is about a year later. DRASTIC DIFFERENCE. But next -

This one was in 2012, when I started to do more with teeth, or first dipping my toes into anatomy. I started to focus more on HANDS too, I was super bad at them. Overall I started to focus more on making my art have...ages? Like a boy versus a man. Facial features being DIFFERENT.

I can look at this boring little bust and see that he comes off more of a teenage boy to me now. I need to work more on figuring how to draw asian features especially the eyes. Sometimes I hit the mark, other times I don’t.

but between this and 2012? Not too much has changed. I do hair fluffier now, and I angle the eyes better. The teeth not being outlined doesn’t give that weird effect where I might give him TOO MANY TEETH....

People do that and it’s easy but whoof.

So there’s still learning and adapting to do in QUICK drawings, you know? but I can still see there’s good things. That took me like 5 minutes to draw? Not bad honestly.

In it’s own bracket is original characters though too?? But also divergent of STYLE shifts because like...

OKAY. Nightmare Syndicate’s story.. started for me in 7th or 8th grade, that was when I was...14? 15? I’ve been fleshing it out for like 13 years, that’s wild haha!! I love my kids and all.

But okay so SIALI. She’s still fairly similar but I restructured her face for SURE. She’s gotten less edgy, she’s.... a teenage girl.

FELIX?? CHRIST. He’s been such a long journey!! More on that later?

Rot and even Cor?? Rot and Cor are a shorter span of development, but Rot started in Highschool so almost 10 years ago, and Cor has been fairly solid - but even just DRAWING him over three years? Go look at how much he changes.. I’m not married to concepts easily. haha!

People act like making a character you’re STUCK with it. Like Oh boy, I better make this character good, from the get go!!

I only worry about that with small potatoes like my Pillar(Gods) designs I just made for the comic?? Even still, small things will change with them I’m sure.

But not only has Felix and Siali changed, but they’ve GROWN with my style and DEFINED it even. I’ve had to adjust my style to support Felix’s look honestly a LOT. Bend my rules. Break my anatomy stickler attitude - and honestly, that’s the thing.

You have to learn the rules and anatomy BEFORE you can break them. A style built upon broken anatomy will fail you down the road if you just excuse everything with style.

Learn to draw the hands. Learn to draw the feet. Figure out the face. Bones exist. You can break the FUCK out of it once you learn how to do it, you know? Like I’ve seen so many styles I LOVE who are cartoony and BROKEN AS FUCK, but there’s still some STRUCTURE to it. Most of those people can still structure a face just fine, and the reason exaggeration works so well is because there’s like unwritten rules for what works and doesn’t based on that?

Idk.

Felix has a very elongated torso, he’s like 7′ or 8′ tall so I mean?? He’s... broken anatomy, but he’s... lanky - but his muscle is LITHE and stretched. It makes contextual sense. That’s the important part.

But even designs, it’s important to understand designs YOU make, or like... to understand they’ll CHANGE and that’s growth within your art too?

Like okay, example. Felix has a millipede inspired monster form. But with designing that? I still have to know how millipedes and SNAKES work because there's bones and vertebrae in there??

But there’s also the difference of like... CONCEPT, versus execution. You can design a fucking badass character, but understanding your own concept is SOMETHING.

I had no idea how this would play out, until I was mapping out his ‘midsection’ spikes? and man. MY STYLE WAS MADE FOR THIS CHALLENGE NOW. Which is so interesting how smooth my style has always been? Felix has defined ANGLES in it, and it’s hilarious tbh?

But even too, I’ve had to work with Felix’s monster form FACE, to break the rules to make it WORK the way I need it too?

On the anatomy subject too, like when I first got into Marvel comics 6 years ago or so? I had no idea how to do muscle structures?? I was so BAD at it.

I can look at this left image and CRINGE so badly at how NONE of those are muscles?? THOSE ARE THINGS I PERCEIVE AS MUSCLES. Like...

A course I took taught me to draw what I see, not what I know. That’s the whole point of that post that goes around about drawing a shrimp. Look it up. It’s hilarious and cute.

But it’s like, asking an artist to draw a bike, you can tell who uses reference and who WINGS it. It’s funny, but like it’s what you know versus what you see.

I started to study anatomy like crazy and was seeing improvements days at a time. The right image was done like... a month later? already I can see the muscles under the pectorals? those look normal now. the abs aren’t dough lumps under the skin in a perfect 6 pack, they’re the actual plane shapes.

I was trying to find a good reference for myself of learning to make men ‘thicker’ too in terms of the waist etc since the left is really...thin.... but...

A bit better, but even still, comparing these two - they’re 2 months apart? and I can see understanding more about arms and how they connect to the body, where the planes ACTUALLY lay for the chest and obliques and such?

I can see improvements from July 2012 up there, to - WHOOPS. I FORGOT TO CHANGE THE YEAR LMAO... TO FEBRUARY 2013...omg

I mean, I could go on and on about improvements I see, when I go through my art though? Gosh.

Like I’m seeing so SO many bad hands and feet in my old stuff, and just CRINGING because tricks I learned for myself by now?

I give so many pointers and streams and screenshares on discord still to help people with art and it cracks me up?? Like...

I dunno. I’m pretty mediocre tbh, but god damn.

Stray Cat - chapter thirty-two

Rating: Mature Word Count: 1678 Warnings: Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut Summary: Phil Lester believes that if he does good things then good things will happen to him, so on one of the worst days of his life he invites a rain-soaked Neko boy named Dan into his home. Phil has never met a Neko before and he knows nothing about the dark system that has molded Dan. Dan is part of a repressed population with few rights, and as Phil gets to know him he can’t understand why – Dan is the most amazing person he has ever met. —

Dan quickly settled into life in Rawtenstall – not just in the Lester family home, but in the town as well. Kath swept over the town like a force of nature, quickly spreading the word that a Neko had become a valued member of their family. Apparently, Kath had quite an influence in the town – she ran a book club, a garden club, and she was very active in several charity groups. No one wanted to cross her, so no one questioned Dan’s presence as he walked around town. Soon, he even felt at ease going anywhere he wanted, even alone. He was free.

That was in his daily life. His online life was different. He wanted to start a channel, but it felt the same as walking into a new community, and he expected to be chased out of it, like the townsfolk chased the monster away in the movie Frankenstein. In the end, the only reason he decided to film his first video was Phil – not to say that he was being pushy, Phil barely mentioned the video. All Phil did was believe in him. So, Dan positioned himself before a camera in the Lester’s guest room, determined not to disappoint Phil. When he showed Phil the footage, he half expected Phil to say it was bad, but Phil insisted that he loved it and helped him to edit the video.

They posted it and kept the laptop open for the whole day, watching as comments sporadically drifted in, mostly people coming from a plug that Phil gave him. Dan was fixated on the negative comments, but Phil kept drawing his attention back to the good ones that he read out loud, and Dan had to admit that there were more positive comments than negative ones. Dan was starting to believe that he could do this.

They went upstairs after a long day, and they settled into bed. Before he fell asleep, Phil said, “I want to film my video tomorrow.”

Dan stiffened beside him, but Phil didn’t notice. He just hoped that Phil forgot about it by tomorrow.

He didn’t. Dan walked into their bedroom after a late breakfast to find Phil sitting on the bed as he was setting up the camera. Phil smiled. “There you are. Are you ready to do this? I am still buzzed with caffeine, and I always like to film when I feel like this. So, are you ready? Could we film now?”

Dan couldn’t help but smile at Phil, but his smile wobbled as he prepared to deny Phil – the man who had saved him – the one thing he had ever asked of him. “Listen, Phil…”

Phil stared down at the camera in his hands. “You don’t want to be in my video. Why? I thought you liked my videos.”

Dan sat beside Phil on the bed. “I love your videos. You know that. I love your videos so much that I don’t want to hurt them by appearing in them.”

Phil gaped at him as he realized what was wrong. “Dan, I don’t care about that.”

“I do. You could lose so many subscribers if you reveal that someone like me is in your life.”

Phil shook his head. “If someone unsubscribes for that reason, then good. I don’t want their views.” He grabbed Dan’s hand and squeezed. “Please, Dan. What people think about me online is the least of my concerns. I care about you. You’re amazing. I want to do this video to show that to people.”

Dan nodded. “If you want this that badly, I’ll do it. I owe this to you.”

“I don’t want you to do it because you owe me. I want you to do it because you want to.”

“I’m never going to do it for that reason. I’m so scared that this will have consequences for you. I want to make you happy. That’s all. I’ll do this if it makes you happy.”

Phil shook his head. “Not if it makes you unhappy.”

Dan laughed because the idea of being unhappy was so ridiculous to him now. Didn’t Phil realize how he made him feel? Maybe not, so Dan decided to tell him. “I am happy. Completely. For the first time in my life. Being here with you… do you know what it means to me? You taught me the meaning of the word ‘home’. I used to just think that meant a place where people go to sleep at night, but since you brought me into yours I learned that home is so much more: warmth and food and laughter. It’s friendship and love and feeling safe – it’s everything. All these things rolled into one concept, one feeling that I never want to be without.”

Phil squeezed Dan’s hand harder. “Then don’t you see how silly it is – in the face of all that – to worry about the reaction to a video? I have you and you have me, and nothing outside of that matters. I don’t care what people think about me, and the fact that you are part cat is the least interesting thing about you. Once they see what I see, they’re going to be crazy about you.”

At times like this, Dan still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that someone as incredible as Phil cared about him. He asked, “Why do you like me?”

“I’m glad you asked because I’ve had this answer ready for a while.” Phil took a deep breath, as if he planned to be talking for a while. “I like you because you’re funny and sweet and clever. I can’t stop thinking about you – you’re like an earworm, you know, one of those songs that drifts into your head and you keep hearing it over and over again. But I never want to stop hearing this song. I love your laugh and your dimples and the way you talk.”

Dan’s face flushed while Phil talked, and he looked away. “No one thinks like you, though. The people watching your videos are going to see my ears and think they know everything about me. They’re not going to give me a chance to show another side of myself.” Dan waved his hands when Phil started to protest. “I’m not trying to back out. I’ll do it and I’ll probably have fun doing it, but I just don’t want you to be surprised when the reaction is bad. I know that the comments on this video are going to be awful.”

Phil was shaking his head. “Dan, what can I do to show you that none of this matters?” Phil looked around the room and then gasped when he saw something near his desk.

“What?” Dan asked as Phil got up. He couldn’t see what Phil picked up. Phil didn’t answer him, and he walked over to the full-length mirror by his closet. Dan got up to stand beside him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m showing you that the tail and ears don’t mean anything. They don’t define who you are as a person. I know it and the people who see you in this video are going to know it, too.” Phil started drawing on his own face while looking in the mirror. Dan stood beside him, his mouth hanging open as he watched Phil in awe. Phil drew cat whiskers on his cheeks and darkened the tip of his nose. Then he turned to face Dan. “What do you think?”

He started to say something sarcastic, taking a dig at how Phil had run the marker too many times across his nose so that the black had started to flake off, but he couldn’t do it. The full force of the gesture that Phil was making had hit him, and Dan felt his eyes getting misty and his throat was closing with emotion. He choked out, “I don’t know. I… I just… I really love you. So much.”

“I really love you so much, too.” Phil extended the point of the marker. “Would you like some whiskers, too? Then we can match.”

Dan nodded and Phil leaned in to start sketching on his face. It was a strangely intimate feeling. Phil smiled. Their faces were only a few inches apart. “This is one of my favorite things to do.”

“What? Drawing on faces?” The marker was rubbing on the tip of his nose now, and Dan resisted the urge to sneeze and the smell of the marker wasn’t helping. “You’re a strange person, but I like that about you. Just remind me to never pass out drunk at a party with you.”

Phil laughed as he put the cap on the marker. He stepped back to admire his work. “You look cute. So, are you ready to do this?”

Dan nodded, hoping that he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. He stayed nervous while they filmed, but filming the video was fun and he tried to relax. Then they watched back some of the footage that they shot, and suddenly everything seemed to be okay.

As Phil was editing, Dan tried to see the video from the perspective of someone who believed that Nekos were sex toys, but he couldn’t. No one who saw this video would believe that their relationship was one of sexual slavery.

They acted a bit shy on camera together at first, but it was obvious that there was something else between them, hidden just below the surface. When Dan looked at Phil, he looked like a man seeing the sun for the first time. He also saw the way Phil looked at him. It was a bit subtler, but Phil looked perfectly happy, content, and satisfied, like a man sinking into a warm bath. Both of them looked like they didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. They looked like they belonged together. So, how could someone see this video and believe otherwise?

Suddenly, Dan didn’t care anymore if they did.

Week 3 - Design Studio Com

What went well? what did I have difficulty with? Why?

Outlining with a black marker is always the most satisfying part of the drawing. The general outline was fine. However, drawing the smaller circle (right view) due to its small diameter was extremely difficult- really hard to draw the circle smoothly with the compass at such a small radius.

What did I enjoy/ dislike? Why?

I always liked outlining the drawing at the end, it makes the entire thing pop. Again I love drawing circles with the compass - something satisfying about it. I hated drawing the smaller circle (right view). I disliked dimensioning the most, especially drawing the small arrows. I don't like drawing small things (you have to go so slowly and carefully).

What would you do differently if I had my time again? Why?

I misread the book and thought we had to space the cross section 2mm apart... I realized halfway through it and decided to finish it. This was extremely time-consuming, especially when I saw my mate finished this section in less than 2mins.But this cross-section looked really cool in comparison to others with massive gaps in between them. However this aesthetic quality isn’t worth it, next time I’m sticking to wider gaps.

What were some of the key things I learnt, or insights which I developed? + What led to those experiences or insights?

I spent a relatively long time trying to figure out how my drawing would go in the beginning. It was 30mins in before I remembered to draw a quick sketch of the shape and determine the layout. Once I got the general idea of the shape and layout, I quickly paced up.

Overall I learned how to waste less time (smaller cross-sectional gaps) + (sketch a rough sketch of the shape before drawing and set the layout of the views). Although I did cross-sectional views in yr 10 graphics I forgot a great deal of it. This exercise helped me recall a lot of what did in graphics.  

What I need to Work on

I need to figure out a way to draw circles that have a small diameter smoothly and more gracefully.

The compass slipped during the drawing.

Queen Bee 🐝  

(Process pics/extra info under the cut :D)

So,  this was fun?? I wasn’t planning to make an illustration today, but I doodled this concept earlier this week in Latin class and decided to run with it. What can I say? I’m always a sucker for bees and royal imagery. Iresine’s hair is way too fun to draw. And I cannot resist drawing super minor OCs instead of actually important ones, especially when they have a dramatic aesthetic to work from. Lol. Listen, she’s still my baby, even if she doesn’t do much in Belladonnas.

If you’re wondering, Iresine’s not actually a queen. She’s a witch/criminal, as are most of the characters in Belladonnas. She’s also a tertiary member of the Glass Diamonds, rival coven to the Belladonnas, and she’s bargained with a demon for the power to talk to bees. As payment, she’s given up her tongue and the power of speech. She’s generally a tranquil and satisfied person, and she’s one of the most emotionally balanced of my characters. Despite the fact that there’s no crown in her story, “Queen Bee” is a punderful expression :D

Here’s the sketch! I’ve been working on profiles (notably, translating them into my style), and although there’s a lot I could improve on, I’m proud of my progress. Accessories/objects are also a point of interest for me here. I originally planned to draw sharp, defined spikes on the crown and necklace, but I ended up going for a more organic “beeswax” look later on.

This is not my favorite lineart, tbh. Some bits could be cleaner, and the weight feels all over the place without color. But I had fun doing it anyway (especially that swoopy lapel thing)

And finally, we’ve got the colors. The green was not originally planned, but I think it contrasts the warmer browns in a way that a pure yellow wouldn’t. I wanted to keep with a bee theme, and forest green doesn’t entirely fit that, but maybe it invokes nature generally? Idk. I wasn’t feeling cheery yellow today, and I love how the green turned out.

In coloring technique-wise, I got a little experimental with shading. I used dot shading on the accessories to simulate a bumpy, waxy texture (and generally to play around with dot shading, as I haven’t done a lot with it). I put those green dots under her skin for a similar purpose. I thought they would end up less visible under a few layers of brown marker, but you can see them really clearly… whoops! I guess Iresine has green freckles now. I kinda like them, I’ve got to say. The green on her nose was a style experiment, and I need to think about whether I like it or not. (I realize, also, that the green makes her look a lot like a humanstuck Kanaya. I am 100% okay with this.)

Her face shading could be smoother, but I’m low-key proud of that cheekbone. And I’m high-key proud of the contrast in her hair.

Overall, this was a fun and relaxing piece! Let me know what you think, and whether I should include process information on my art in the future. Writing my thoughts out helps me analyze my own artistic growth/weaknesses, but I want to know what you think about it!