#i really gotta catch up on taz
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sometimes i remember arms outstretched and just Die
Image description: digital art, in a stretched-out vertical orientation, of Magnus, Taako, and Merle from The Adventure Zone, based off the Arms Outstretched scene.
Merle is a fat dwarf with a white beard, colored in green and blue hues as he closes his eyes and extends his hands into the air. Two spectral green arms stretch up above him, covered in flowers and reaching towards Taako.
Taako is a skinny elf with braided hair, appearing in disembodied form with a white glow around him. He's reaching up towards Magnus with a determined expression.
Magnus is a burly human, surrounded by tendrils of the Hunger. He's in disembodied form, glowing purple, and is desperately reaching back towards Taako. End description.
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I just queued most of the “saved for later” posts in my drafts that aren’t still spoilers (mostly Fantasy High, TAZ Imbalance, Taylor Swift, and Derry Girls), and now my queue has 87 posts and will be running through next Wednesday (as in a week and a half from now). so uhh if you see me rbing something months or years old, know that my massive procrastination issues are the reason why lmao
#captainswan618 talks too much#most of my saved for later posts are now d20 (mismag‚ tuc2‚ + aso)‚ taz ethersea (which I really gotta catch up on)‚ good omens‚ + discworld
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(This is a short Lucretia & Taako scene from an upcoming TAZ fic, Chickadee, that I’m scrapping in favor of something less depressing, so figured why not share it here.)~~~
“Hey chickadee,” Taako says, slumping against the doorway with a lopsided grin. Took him long enough but he found her, not in her room or the lab or the helm, but hunkered down out back by the greenhouse, just barely out of the drizzling rain. Hiding, it seems.
“Not now, Taako,” Lucretia mutters, not looking up from where she’s scratching away into a journal. It’s dark out, the red-robed shape of her illuminated only by a cantrip, a little Light spell on a copper coin.
“You missed dinner,” Taako says. “And lunch. Pretty sure you barely touched breakfast.”
She winces, and really she should know by now that he’d notice. Then her face goes steely again. “Cycle’s almost over anyway, doesn’t matter.”
That’s the crux of it. Cycle’s over and they didn’t find the Light, so this world is lost.
“Still gotta take care of yourself, even if you are getting a refresh in a couple days.” Could be any day now, really. Merle is taking his turn as lookout in the helm, watching the barometer for sudden pressure changes���Davenport suspects it might be an early indicator—but they’re still grounded. In the morning they’ll take off, the remaining time spent up in the air. “Come on, you can take a little break. The world’s not gonna break because you stop writing for a few minutes.”
“No,” she mutters darkly. “But it’ll break because of us all the same.”
“All right, enough of that.” Taako takes the journal and pen from her hands and tucks them under his arm before holding out a hand to pull her up. “Can’t carry the world, we’ve been over this. Food time, let’s go.”
Bed time might be more accurate. It’s nearly midnight. The others should be all sleeping by now. He should be too, except he had a feeling Lucretia was pushing herself too hard again. She’s better than when they first started this mission but they all sometimes fall back into old habits. After this much time, he’s also gotten better about catching them.
They head to the kitchen and he sets her down at the table. It’s quiet at this time of night, which is good for her. In the overhead light, he thinks how bad she looks. Tired and overworn, shoulders bowed under a self-imposed weight, as if anything they do can save this world.
When he sets down the bowl of soup, she already looks nauseous.
“Just a little,” Taako says softly as he sits across the table. “You’ll feel better after a few bites.”
She sips down a spoonful and seems to take time absorbing that, swallowing and then sniffing.
“It’s really good,” she whispers. The effect is quick. Already she looks a bit better, less wound tight from the cold. “Thanks. I didn’t mean for... I just got distracted.”
“Yeah, I know,” Taako replies, his gaze trailing beyond as he sits with her, head resting over his crossed arms.
It’s hard for her, seeing the worlds destroyed. Or harder, perhaps. Taako can compartmentalize it, rationalize it because they never signed up to be saviors of the universe, they didn’t bring the Hunger to this plane—arguably, anyway, it’s a bit up for debate—and fretting about this world’s destruction isn’t going to do anything except make him feel like shit. So he doesn’t. He focuses on his family because that’s all he can do.
“Feeling better?” he asks, after letting his eyes droop closed for a minute or so.
“Yeah, thanks. I needed that.”
“On the bright side, we’ll get Mags back in a few days.” That gets a little smile out of her, bittersweet.
“Yeah, you’re right. Still, this world was pretty nice. Won’t you miss it? Even a little?”
Taako hums, rocking his chin on the back of his hand. “Nah. Not really. I could if I wanted to, but I don’t. Want to, I mean. There’s no point.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” Lucretia says, almost in awe, but not quite.
“It’s how I survive. You could do a little with that, too.”
It’s quiet again, the clock ticking slowly.
“What do you say to some Taako time?” he asks, smiling lazily at her. “You look like you could use it.”
“You don’t have to,” she mutters, and yeah, she’s more timid than usual, withdrawing into herself. “I can just go to bed.”
“Boring as fuck. And are you really going to turn down spending time with this hot stuff?” he says with a grand, flippant twist of his wrist. That gets a small smile, a spark of the old her.
“What? Worried about me?” she says, propping her head on her cheeks.
“Course not.” He matches her pose, leaning over the table. “Not my fault you’re terrible at taking care of yourself. You’re apparently determined to make my job harder.”
“My goal in life.” Then she looks away, humming before sinking into her shoulders. “But yeah. All right. I’d like that.”
He flops down onto the couch, kicking his shoes off before settling against the backrest and shoving a pillow under his head. Lucretia pulls a blanket from nearby, a patterned red flannel, and shakes it out before laying down beside him, her back against her chest. She spreads the blanket over both and wiggles closer as Taako loops his arms around her, lightly holding her so she theoretically won’t roll off the couch in the middle of the night.
Sometimes they need this. It’s something just for the two of them, a bond not unlike that of his own sister, but different. Whatever he has with Lucretia, with any of them, really, is hard to define, but it’s family.
“Good?” he asks.
“Yeah.” She burrows her head against the pillow and lets out a long breath. “Yeah. This is good. Thanks, Taako.”
“Hm. Night, Luce,” he murmurs, his own eyes drifting closed as he sinks into the warm comfort, her heart beating steady, the easy rise and fall of her breathing.
They’ve got each other. Through whatever hell-scape they find themselves in, it’s a comfort. He just has to focus on his family, and they’ll get through it. He’d like to offer some shred of hope, some little idea that next time things will be better. But it’s hard when they know it’s not true. They survive. That’s all they can do.
#TAZ#TAZ Balance#Lucretia#Taako#Lucretia and Taako bonding#Stolen Century#I love these two#I love them as ridiculous friends who deeply love each other#Seven Nights#cause this assumes that as backstory#it's a shame because this is like the only scene where they get another Taako time#but the new scene is so much better for me#and I let Lucretia be happy for once#Chickadee
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 184
The Great Escapist/A Town Called Mercy
“The Great Escapist”
Plot Description: After receiving a message from Kevin, Sam and Dean try to uncover the third trial. They boys make a discovery that sends them to a casino in Colorado
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died, so…sure
Dean, you should be grateful and PROUD that Kevin is vigilant for demons
Oh GOD…it did seem too easy, too…convenient that Sam and Dean just FOUND Kevin. Of course they’re demons playing the roles in some strange illusion Crowley has set up
Dean’s taking Kevin’s non-dead death really hard. It’s gotta be really hard for him right now. Sam’s declining, Cas is who knows where, Kevin’s (not) dead.
I said Cas is who knows where but I did see Misha’s name in the opening credits. He’s in Santa Fe, apparently and super on the run from heaven
There are few times I would want to be Dean, but I think I’ve almost never wanted to be him LESS than I do right now. I’m not saying Sam’s right or wrong to want to go to Colorado, but I am saying his brain is getting cooked by whatever the trials are doing to him
Please tell me the angels didn’t kill everyone in that Biggersons to keep Castiel there for a second, just long enough to catch him. Well……..all but one person
Fuck. Naomi sucks, I just want Abbadon back
There aren’t too many demons on this show that I like, but these yes man teen demons are funny
SAM!! REST!!! Stop tryin to do shit
For as shitty as he can be, Crowley has STYLE
Nothing like watching Crowley reach and dig in to Castiel’s abdomen (not ANY kind of euphemism) on your lunch break
Oh Sammmmm. He didn’t think he was good even as a child
Every time I see this actor on New Girl, I think “that’s Metatron” and when I saw him today I went “that’s the principal at Jess’s school”
I don’t…this is some sort of tricky trap from Metatron, not having heard of the Winchesters
Omg…the…the demons were too NICE to Kevin. (Reminds me of how Dean realized Azazel had possessed John)
Oh. THIS is the episode Castiel shoves a bullet into another angel’s eye and kills him
I do like how Metatron describes the act of creating and telling stories
I’m SORRY??? What did Kevin just do?? Did Metatron just abduct him? STOP ABDUCTING PEOPLE
I’m so glad that’s one load off of Dean’s shoulder, Kevin’s not dead
How do you cure a demon??
Well that’s awfully convenient that they almost run over a TERRIBLY INJURED Cas. Did he try to teleport into the car and miss?
I love how Sam was like “we’re moving toward the end” babes, you got seven more seasons of this bullshit and so do I
“A Town Called Mercy”
Plot Description: The Doctor finds himself a reluctant marshal in a Western town hiding a secret
Theres…something really sad about this being the second episode in a row that the Doctor has mentioned having a Christmas list…
I barely remember this episode, but I’m intrigued by it
“Why would he want to kill you? Unless he’s met you” the number of characters I love who this could be said to
Between Mercy here and Refuge in TAZ, old western-y towns have don’t really good names and mission statements
The problem with this episode is that Westerns largely bore me. Not to say that there isn’t more to it because it’s obviously also sci-fi
Uh oh…the doctor they ran into isn’t the kindly old alien he led us to believe
Uh ohhhhhhhh…oh this dude sucks. Good. I’m glad the cyborg he created is hunting him down
What happened to the man who never would, though?
Good on you, Amy, telling him off.
Quite the promotion the Doctor and Amy got…following a hell of an ultimatum: bring the doctor to the gunslinger by noon or he kills the whole torn
No, for real, any time he has to deal with a group of scared people, it’s terrible and it almost never turns out right
Who else recently just sacrificed their life to make the end of the episode easier?? I know it happened but I can’t remember who it was
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MC Does the “Walk Out Naked” Challenge (Feat. The Dateables)
I was originally asked to write about the demon brothers reacting to an MC pulling the “walk out naked” challenge, and @undine-taz said they said they’d like to see it with the dateables/side characters (minus Luke of course bc Baby), so here it is!
For those who don’t know, the “walk out naked” challenge is basically when someone, wearing only a towel, goes to their partner and drops the towel, while recording their reaction. There are tons of videos of this online (with no nudity since the person shooting the video is the naked person lol), and the reactions range from cute to hilarious.
Warnings: Not gonna be full-on NSFT, but by nature of the prompt, it is pretty suggestive. Also nakey MC. Because it’s not full-on smut, and nothing specific about MC’s anatomy is referenced, I have left it gender neutral, but feel free to imagine whatever you’d like!
Diavolo
This man is so alive and happy whenever he’s around MC to begin with
So them putting together a surprise like this for him might kill him
He’s already so floored to have MC as a friend who isn’t scared of him, let alone as a partner
But this?! The trust? The INTIMACY?!
HIS FAVOURITE PERSON’S HOT NAKIE BODY?!
Depending on his previous mood, he just might cry
Happy tears, happy tears! Not to worry
And afterwards he’ll definitely scoop up MC in his arms and hug them
With or without the towel ;)
Barbatos
It takes a lot to crack Barb’s poker face in public
But when you’re alone…
Mild surprise then a verrrrrrryyyyy smug smirk
MC might have pacts with the brothers, but this sight is all his
If they managed to catch him doing some chore or other in a secluded part of the castle, wearing a robe that they let slip for just a second…
Fastest way to get him to take a break lmao
“You ought to turn that camera off, MC… Unless…?”
Simeon
MC help, his cheeks are a fire hazard he’s blushing so hard
Lowkey in awe
His love is so radiant, and here they are, in nothing but what the Lord gave them—!
His reaction is really funny to watch because he keeps switching between being concerned about someone else walking in, absolute adoration, and completely flustered
Take pity on the angel, give him a smooch!
For real though, Simeon’s gonna be a bit dazed, if MC wants a bigger reaction out of him they’ll need to guide him~
Solomon
He freezes for a second, expression vacant
Then with a dramatic swish of his coat, he magics himself into the stupidest possible lingerie you can imagine
Is there a big pointy wizard hat involved? Yes
Is it where you think it is? Perhaps
Does he have a shit-eating grin on his face the entire time? Absolutely
He wasn’t recording MC’s reaction but the memories will stay with him for a very, very long time
Listen, when you’ve had 1000 partners, the traditional seduction route’s gotta feel boring
Need to make it interesting somehow ;p
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me dateables#obey me side characters#suggestive#mine#my writing#diavolo#barbatos#simeon#solomon
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MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV
"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."
"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."
gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."
about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."
"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."
thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."
because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"
"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."
"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."
"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."
"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."
"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."
"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."
"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."
"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."
"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."
"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."
"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."
after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."
gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."
"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."
"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."
"aw yeah, its big boi season."
about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."
"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."
"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"
"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."
"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."
"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."
"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"
"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"
"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."
"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."
"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."
"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."
"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."
"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."
"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."
after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."
after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."
"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."
"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.
"that man is a weeb, isnt he."
"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."
"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."
"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."
screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"
after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."
"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"
"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"
"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."
"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."
"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."
she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."
"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."
"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."
"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."
upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"
"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."
"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."
"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."
"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"
#aew double or nothing#aew#all elite wrestling#brian cage#hangman adam page#jon moxely#eddie kingston#young bucks#the acclaimed#dark order#penta el zero m#anthony ogogo#lio rush#miro#lance archer#dr britt baker dmd#hikaru shida#darby allin#sting#orange cassidy#kenny omega#pac#tony schiavone#stadium stampede#bryce remsburg#wardlow#mark henry#shit my gf says
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Step-Son Zone
Inspired by the TAZ Crystal Kingdom graphic novel and all the amazing jokes about Lucas being Lucretia’s stepson that I have recently seen.
"Package for you, Luce!" Lup said, entering the family room. She'd gone to get the mail hoping for a package she'd ordered, but sadly, it had not yet arrived. She loved Faerun and everything, but she had to admit she still missed package tracking. Having to go to the actual mailbox every day to figure out if her things had gotten here yet? Like an animal? Gross.
Letters were not an uncommon thing to find in the mailbox, a lot of which were fan mail. Saving the multiverse made one pretty popular after all. When the letters had first started coming, they were an onslaught, though now, months after the start, they were less frequent.
Still, it wasn't exactly unusual to find something from an address they didn't recognize in their mailbox these days. It was a little more unusual for the mail to be addressed to only one of them, but far from unheard of. Plenty of people liked to address their fan mail to some particular favorite in the family.
That didn't mean that Lup wasn't still pretty curious to see the package, but she had boundaries! She'd at least let Lucretia see it first, before she swiped it for a peek.
"Thank you, Lup," Lucretia smiled up at her from the couch as she took it. Some of their other family members- Taako, Barry, Merle, and Magnus- were also gathered in the family room, but there was still plenty of room to sit down, since they'd designed this room knowing exactly how large their family was and with decades of frustration at the relatively small size of the Starblaster common room in mind. Lup still plopped down immediately next to Lucretia anyway. All the better for reading over her shoulder, and it wasn't like any of them had much respect for each other's personal space anymore.
Sure enough, Lucretia didn't even look over at her at the invasion of her space, just shifting slightly to the left to make a little more space for Lup between her body and the arm rest.
Instead she looked down at the package, read the address it came from, and immediately turned and threw it in the garbage.
"Oookay," Lup said, curiosity even more raging now. "What the hell was that?"
"An admittedly nice gesture that I have no interest in reciprocating," Lucretia said crisply.
"From who?" Magnus asked, glancing over at the trash bin as if he wanted to dart over and grab it, but was restraining the impulse.
"Lucas," Lucretia said, with a long-suffering sigh.
"Miller?" Taako questioned. "What's that dick writing you for?"
"The holiday, I presume," Lucretia said, waving her hand vaguely.
It made zero sense to Lup that Lucas would be sending Lucretia something on holidays, and the weirdness was only compounded by the fact that she couldn't think of any recent holidays that she could be referring to. Glancing around at the confusion the rest of them were displaying, she was pretty sure it wasn't just because she was the least familiar with Faerun holidays of their group.
"What holiday?" Merle asked, scratching his head in confusion. "Only holiday I can think of around now is Mother's Day, but obviously it's not that."
Lucretia's mouth opened and closed in confusion for a moment, before her eyes widened. "Oh. Right. I'd forgotten you didn't know."
"Didn't know what?" Barry asked, head tilted to the side in curiosity and confusion.
"Lucas' mother Maureen and I- we were together. Married, actually," Lucretia said, glancing down at her hands in her lap as she said it. "It was pretty common knowledge, at the Bureau, so I thought you would have known- but I guess I assumed wrong. Which isn't that surprising, really, since nobody mentioned it too much after Maureen's death-"
Lup's had automatically reached out her arms when Lucretia started to sound sad, turning her lean into an embrace before her shocked mind could catch up with what had been said.
"What the fuck, Lucretia! How do you forget to mention the fact that you were married?" Taako squawked, even as he came over to them and gave Lucretia a quick, tight hug.
"I really thought you knew! It doesn't come up much with most people; I assumed it was the same here!" Lucretia defended.
"You thought we wouldn't have anything to say about the fact that you had a wife and she died?" Taako asked, still incredulous.
"Most people don't bring it up. It makes them awkward and uncomfortable," Lucretia said.
"Uh, yeah, obviously, but we talk about Julia with Magnus sometimes!" Lup said, wincing immediately afterwards and shooting a concerned look at Magnus. She hadn't meant to be so flippant about that.
Magnus looked a little shaken and wide-eyed, but he threw her a smile and a careful thumbs-up, so Lup knew she was okay.
"That's different," Lucretia said. "Magnus has been always been less private about his emotions than me."
They all knew what she wasn't saying. And also, Magnus didn't do what she did. And yes, those things were true, but like fuck was Lup going to let Lucretia think that they would just leave her to deal with her trauma and grief alone, just because she had betrayed their trust. They loved her way too much to do that to her.
"So? Being a private person doesn't mean your family isn't going to hug the living shit out of you when you lose somebody!" she said, squeezing her arms tighter to prove her point.
Lucretia chuckled softly, and her eyes got very soft and warm. "Thank you, Lup, but I promise, I'm okay. Now, anyway. Maybe we can talk about it another time?"
"Yeah, alright," Lup agreed, not totally loosening her hold.
"Wait, fuck, okay so it is Mother's Day? That's the reason Miller's sending you shit?" Taako asked, his face shifting from irritation and concern to a shit-eating grin.
"Presumably," Lucretia said. "He's done it before. And usually, when he writes me, it's just a letter, nothing more."
"Oh my god, he's your stepson," Magnus snickered.
"Yes, that is what it means when you marry someone's mother," Lucretia agreed, an indulgently amused look on her face.
"I can't believe you didn't tell us! We've been missing out on some choice goofs because of that, Lucy!" Taako said, faux indignant.
"Again, I thought you knew! I figured you didn't bring up Lucas being my stepson because he is, you know, terrible."
"Solid reasoning, but not quite," Barry chuckled.
Lup let go of Lucretia to push herself up and move toward the package in the garbage.
"Lup?" Lucretia questioned, watching her.
"Just 'cause he's an ass is no reason to throw out free shit before you even know what it is! Come on, Lucy, use your head! Might be something nice, and you don't gotta talk to him to accept free stuff," Lup explained.
Lucretia laughed, taking the package from Lup's outstretched hands. "I suppose you have a good point."
She opened the package and inside was a set of paints.
"Oh," she said softly. "These are- These are my favorites. Maureen used to get me this same set all the time."
"See! Nice!" Lup chimed. "You can just toss the letter and keep the paint!"
"Yes," Lucretia nodded, "you're right."
But she didn't move to throw the letter away.
Instead, after several long moments of internal debate, she said, "Lucas wasn't always such a dick. When he was younger, he could be a real sweetheart. When he wanted."
"Why don't you look at the letter, Lucy?" Merle said, soft. "Seems like you really want to."
"I don't," she said, firmly. "Lucas used the Philosopher's Stone in a way that was insanely risky. He didn't care about how it would affect anyone but himself and Maureen. And that was hardly the least of it, either. Maureen- wasn't always the most cautious when inventing or researching, but she only ever put herself at risk. She didn't hurt people. Lucas was grieving, yes, I understand, but that's not an excuse. And it certainly doesn't excuse what he did to the bugbears or- any of the other incredibly inethical things he did! Maureen would be disappointed in him. And so am I."
Even with the tirade, she hadn't tossed the letter.
"Yeah, that was fucked up," Magnus chimed. "Nobody's going to make you read it or talk to him ever, you know that, right?"
"Uh huh," Lucretia nodded. "I think- I think I'll take these to my room."
She waved the paints as she said it, and only the paints, but she still took the letter up with her. And when she came back down and threw out the mess of packaging on the floor, she didn't have the letter anymore.
(Notes: Okay, so I personally can't really stand Lucas, especially in the podcast with the whole, uh, enslavement debacle, but in a fandom that has so much focus on family and forgiveness and redemption and hope and moving on, it felt weird to just completely shut off any chance of Lucas redeeming himself and being less of an asshole and rebuilding that relationship so. I left it open-ended. Feel free to assume he never does though, if you want!
Additionally, I really wavered on whether to go with podcast canon of the control chips and basically enslavement of the bugbears or the graphic novel canon of intelligence enhancing chips, because the latter is less uncomfortable for me personally, but also the fact that the former is a thing is part of why I wrote Lucretia feeling so harsh towards Lucas, so I decided basically to leave it vague. You can assume the bit about what Lucas did to the bugbears refers to either podcast canon or something shitty in gn canon depending on your own preferences.)
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The First Date
***********
Starring - Ricky Starks and Nova Jay (small appearance from Sawyer Holden)
Word Count - 1,029
Category - pure fluff
Pairings - Ricky Starks/OC
Summary - It's finally the day that Ricky has been waiting for, and the night that Nova didn't want to end.
Warnings - none
other author's notes - anon I hope this makes you forget about Tony Khan and Nova.
***********
“A bowling alley?” Nova asked, puzzled look on her face. “I figured you could take a break from all the bars, clubs, and painful shoes,” Ricky teased, receiving a playful scowl from Nova. When the car came to a stop she pulled out her phone to turn it on silent and set it in her purse. She turned to open the car door instead seeing Ricky was already there with the door open. He held out his hand to help her out of the car, Nova took it, slightly startled, “What a gentleman.”
They began to make their way inside, and Nova couldn’t help but admire how it was much more colorful than the typical bowling alleys she’s been to before. “I love the artwork on the walls,” Nova mentioned, looking around at the graffiti canvases hanging from the walls. “I actually know one of the dudes who did some of these,” Ricky commented, making his way over to get bowling shoes, Nova following close behind. “You think he could design some merch for me?” Nova giggled.
“Probably.”
“Wait really? I was just joking! Does he have Insta? Can I follow him? These are questions I must have answered!” Ricky chuckled, pretending to zip his mouth shut and lock it over his mask. Nova rolled her eyes and smirked, feeling like this date was going well already. She was almost so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn’t notice Ricky in front of her.
“What size are you?”
Nova snapped out of it and looked over to the scrawny teenager over the counter, “OH, uh, seven and a half.” They grabbed their shoes and made their way to an empty lane. Ricky and Nova walked up to a ball rack examining the choices; “I’m surprised you didn’t choose the orange one,” Nova teased, looking down at Ricky’s pink ball, which happened to be the color of Nova’s gear. “No, but you had no problem choosing it,” Ricky winked at her, causing her to adjust her mask so he couldn’t see her blush..
“You wanna make a bet?”
Nova snapped her head back right before she rolled her ball, “A bet?”
“If you win, I’ll leave you alone about Team Taz,” Nova nodded, “But if I win, I get to take you on another date.” Nova tilted her head to the side as Ricky smirked behind the mask. She then turned around, rolling the ball and getting a strike. “Then let’s bowl, Starks,” Nova winked, letting Ricky know he had some tough competition.
Bowling Skip
The two took a break, grabbing some sodas from the vending machine and finding a table. “So I gotta ask, what started all this? It had to be something Sawyer caused,” Nova asked, opening her can of Sprite. “Well, one of the weeks you guys were there, I was catching up with Sawyer but you,” Ricky pointed at her, “caught my eye.”
“Caught your eye? Was it the pink faux fur coat?” Nova giggled, taking another sip. Ricky shook his head, “I think it was the smile even when the camera wasn’t on you.” Ricky sipped his soda, keeping eye contact with Nova. Nova almost got lost in her them, before she coughed and stood up, grabbing her ball for the last round.
The two looked up at the scoreboard , Nova only needed one strike to win the whole game, “Alright Starks, if I get this strike, I am victorious,” Nova smiled, walking up. Ricky plastered on a smile, already regretting this bet. Nova had gotten many strikes this whole game, she was fully confident that she could get another one and win this. But right as she was about to roll the ball down the center, she turned to the side, making the ball only hit one of the pins.
She turned around and shrugged, “Oops.”She rolled again, this time missing completely. Ricky tried to hold back his grin while grabbing his next ball. He rolled it, and much like Nova the whole game, had gotten a strike.
Nova walked up behind him, holding out her hand, “Congratulations Mr. Starks.”
He shook her hand and held it, for a long time, neither of them let go until they went to return their bowling shoes. They walked out the building, Ricky walking ahead to open the car door back up for Nova. She climbed in, not hiding her smile this time. He walked around to the drivers side, climbing in but not yet starting the car. He reached around to the passengers back seat, grabbing a bouquet of flowers, ��I wanted to give you this at the start of our date, but I didn’t want it to get squished by a bowling ball.”
Nova took the flowers carefully, “Ricky,” she paused to admire them, “Thank you. They’re gorgeous.” “Just like you,” Ricky smirked, turning on the car and driving Nova back to her hotel.
Ricky for the final time that night , opened Nova’s door for her. They made their way in the nearest elevator and he pushed the buttons to her hotel room.
They reached the front of Nova’s room that she shared with her friends, with a bit of saddeness - they did not want to say goodbye. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at Dynamite,” Ricky said, turning away. He was pulled back, and immediately into a hug.
“Thank you for this.” Nova mumbled against his chest before looking up at him. Ricky smiled, “Just wait until our next date. It’ll be 10 timesbl better.” Nova tried to find the right words, but just let her body move her lips onto Ricky’s, giving him a quick kiss before moving away.
“Goodnight, Starks.” Nova said, walking into her room and shutting the door.
Ricky stared at the door for what felt like forever, he was about to leave when he heard a shout from the inside.
“DID YOU JUST KISS HIM?!” Ricky chuckled, recognizing Sawyer’s yell from anywhere. He finally turned away and heard Nova yell back, “SHUT UP HE COULD STILL BE LISTENING!!” Even after one date Ricky knew, Nova could possibly be the one.
He just hoped she felt the same.
Ricky and Nova is my new favorite ship.
#ricky starks x oc#ricky starks imagine#ricky starks#aew x reader#aew fanfiction#aew fanfic#aew imagine#all elite wrestling
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So I'm finally catching up on TAZ Graduation and...look. I know it's impossible that I'm the first person to say this, but I gotta say it anyway. I cannot get over the delightfulness of Justin's characters relationships with lies.
First we have Taako who FEEDS on lying. Lying is his DEFAULT and he's usually successful to the point that after 10+ relistens to Balance there are still a couple lines where I still can't tell whether Taako's lying or not cuz Justin had no reason to give us that particular slice of dramatic irony.
Next major character is Duck who tries to lie almost as often as Taako but is just so very very bad at it and is one of his most endearing character traits. He's just a disaster and he's not allowed to ever stop trying to lie because that universe would just wither and die if he did.
Then we have the Firbolg who is the complete opposite of Taako. That poor poor Firbolg. They know that subterfuge and deception would be helpful in many situations but they are just physically incapable of it. They are the logical conclusion to Justin McElroys tabletop RPG adventure in character deceptiveness.
I still have like 11 episodes to catch up on so idk how long this is gonna be but I'm really excited to see what he does with his next character...if there is a next one. I wanna be optimistic about TAZ going on for the rest of eternity but I'm also trying to manage my expectations and be a good and understanding fan as much as they are all good and understanding content creators.
But also Justin please keep doing funny things regarding your characters relationships with deception cuz it FUELS me.
#taz#taz balance#taz amnesty#taz graduation#justin mcelroy#taako#duck newton#taz firbolg#spoilers#maybe spoilers? idk it seems safer to tag spoilers just in case#i know i am personally very specific about the kinds of things i do and do not consider spoilers lol
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gdi i really gotta catch up on taz grad
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Fear The Reaper A Lot, Actually (TAZ Balance AU)
AO3
Summary: In the aftermath of the catastrophe at the Miller Lab, Kravitz strikes a deal with his bounties. Their crimes against death will be forgiven if they can bring in two specific liches for arrest…
But unfortunately, those liches are named Lup and Barry J. Bluejeans.
Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, misc. BoB cameos
Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz
I posted the second of three scenes in this chapter on Tumblr in January, not really expecting to continue it at the time, but it was well-received there, and I realized that I actually have a lot more ideas for this AU than I expected! This fic has been in the works for months, and I’m simultaneously so excited, nervous, and relieved to get it out of my mind and into the world.
That said, there is one other person who’s read this fic before, and that’s @fexiled! They’ve been an awesome (and patient) beta reader, and I’m incredibly grateful to them for all their advice, typo-catching, and encouragement!
***
Kravitz couldn’t even begin to fathom what kind of sinister agenda would possibly bring a lich to a train station, but he’d intercepted Barry J. Bluejeans in stranger places than Rockport. If he was after any other bounty, he’d be worried about the nearby masses of civilians on holiday getting caught in the crossfire, or worse, being used as hostages — but with Barry, he never knew what to worry about.
Barry, for his part, didn’t seem fazed by the prospect of facing down the Grim Reaper in a transportation hub staffed entirely by identical clones of Tom Bodett, and he addressed Kravitz calmly and amiably:
“Ah, there you are. Hope you didn’t have a ticket for the Rockport Limited, ‘cause it left a couple minutes ago.”
“I have a magical sapphire scythe that lets me teleport anywhere on the Material or Astral Planes,” Kravitz replied. “Why would I need train tickets?”
Barry chuckled — nervously? Awkwardly? Without a visible face beneath his hood, he was difficult to read. “I dunno, leisure? In case I got on a train and you wanted to follow me, but legally?”
Kravitz narrowed his eyes. Barry was normally talkative for a lich, but today, he seemed especially affable… not to mention unsurprised by Kravitz’s appearance. “Were you expecting me to follow you here?”
“You’ve followed me stranger places,” Barry reminded him. “Graveyards for dragons, necromancy conventions, the actual moon that isn’t just a secret society’s headquarters… point is, I kinda figured the ticket counter at a train station wouldn’t stop you.”
Kravitz adjusted his grip on his scythe, channelling a spark of the Raven Queen’s power to scan the area for magical traps. There were none.
“I don’t have any tricks this time,” Barry promised him, his hooded void of a face still frustratingly impossible to read. “No sabotage, no moon ogres. I just want to talk.”
A pigeon landed on the ground between them, pecking at a dropped sandwich without any acknowledgement of the two undead entities that could each obliterate it in a second.
“Let’s say I humor you, in the interest of not catching an innocent bird in the crossfire,” Kravitz replied. “What would you want to talk about?”
“I’m realizing this isn’t gonna sound that sincere, but… an apology. And a warning.”
“What world do you come from, where it’s appropriate to follow an apology with a threat? Are you going to, I don’t know, imprison my soul if I don’t forgive you?”
“The world I come from has nothing to do with it.” The lights beneath Barry’s hood flickered erratically, but he kept his composure. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for wasting so much of your time. You could be out there stopping evil necromancers, but I’ve been leading you on a wild goose chase for a decade, and I’m genuinely sorry about that. I’m sorry that I can’t do the things I need to do or save the things I need to save without being undead, and making what I can only assume is a gigantic bureaucratic mess for the Astral Plane.”
Kravitz sighed. “Are you hinting that I should just give up forever on chasing you, because you’re not evil? Do you really expect me to believe that, coming from a lich?”
“Well, I wasn’t counting on it, but that would be nice,” Barry admitted. “The thing is, whether you believe me isn’t going to matter a whole lot in… let’s see, at the rate we’re going, I doubt it’ll take much more than a year. You’re gonna have a bigger problem on your hands — and if you want even a slim chance of surviving it, you and your goddess and every plane in this system will need to be prepared.”
Kravitz eyed a clock on the station wall. “Keep making threats like that, and you’ll have thirty seconds to explain yourself before I end this conversation.”
Barry held up his hands. “Wait, wait, let me clarify — that wasn’t me threatening you! That’s me knowing what’s coming, and not wanting to see it obliterate this entire universe! I — I see, now, how that could get misinterpreted — but I promise, I’m not making this up just to mess with you! You have the ability to warn the Astral Plane, to warn the Raven Queen and by extension all the gods in the Celestial Plane, so that they can prepare for this and stand a fighting chance —”
“Excuse me, gentlemen? Is there anything I can help you with?”
A Tom Bodett approached them, completely unfazed by the lich and the reaper staring each other down of the Rockport Limited boarding platform, and Kravitz couldn’t help but wonder how frequently the humble employees of the train station had to deal with the undead making a scene.
“Stay back, mortal!” he shouted, twirling his scythe and jumping between the Barry and the poor, almost certainly underpaid Tom. “This is an arrest of one of the most dangerous death criminals in Faerun —”
But Barry had already vanished into thin air, leaving behind only the faintest wisp of red smoke, and Kravitz held back a curse.
This always happened one way or another, every damn time Kravitz had encountered Barry in the past decade. Barry had been right about one thing — he’d wasted an astronomical amount of Kravitz’s time over the years.
“Well, I guess that takes care of that,” Tom declared brightly, as if he caused distractions that allowed ultrapowerful death criminals to escape justice every day. “He was making quite a scene — any idea what his deal was?”
Kravitz shook his head. “Just a lich playing mind games. As liches are wont to do, you know.”
At least, I hope that’s all Barry is, he thought with a shiver. But if he wants to give me a reason to believe him, then… well, he can do it from a cell in the Eternal Stockade.
***
“Hey, Reaper Man! I’ve got an idea for you!” Taako called out. Something about the gleam in his eye piqued Kravitz’s curiosity, even though hearing out ideas from death criminals was an objectively unwise idea.
“Do tell, then,” Kravitz replied, and the mischievous smile on Taako’s face expanded into a toothy grin.
“You hunt down a lot of different bounties, right? And Lucas and Maureen and Noelle, they can’t possibly be the worst criminals on your naughty list, can they?”
“Naughty list? What is he, Santa?” Magnus snickered. “I guess it is technically still Candlenights…”
“Today has been a Day with a capital D,” Kravitz warned Taako, “and I’m not in the mood to hear an argument about why I should let them go because morality is relative —”
“Cool your collarbones, Skeletor, I may have come here to get the Philosopher’s Stone, but I’m no philosopher. I was just thinking: what if we tracked down one of your bigger bounties for you? You let some harmless death criminals go, we bring you a really evil one in return, you collect a big old bounty and also get to see my charming face again! Doesn’t that deal sound like a winner?”
“In practice, it just sounds like a good way to get double-crossed — but in theory, it would be quite a bargain, I’ll grant you that.” Kravitz mentally ran through his list of bounties, almost immediately focusing on one particular lich that had vexed him for years. “And I have to admit, I’d love nothing more than seeing you three take a crack at bringing in Barry J. Bluejeans —”
The second Barry’s name was uttered, Taako let out a wheezy laugh like a congested elephant, and Magnus and Merle weren’t far behind, guffawing so heartily that they fogged up the insides of their null suit helmets.
“I laughed at that name once just like you, but when you’ve been hunting him for years to no avail, it won’t seem so funny anymore!” Kravitz warned them. “He’s easily in the top five most dangerous liches in Faerun, not to mention the number one most elusive!”
“Barry’s a LICH?!” Magnus chortled, as Merle doubled over clutching his stomach and Taako rolled around on the floor in hysterics.
“All that time in Phandalin, we were at the mercy of an evil undead overlord and we didn’t even know it!” Taako cackled, evidently not too troubled by the revelation. “Fuck, we’re lucky to even be alive!”
That caught Kravitz off guard. “Wait, you’ve met Barry Bluejeans?”
“And lived to tell the tale!” Merle boasted. “We could totally do it again, by the way!”
“Hang on, Merle,” Noelle interrupted. “Was this what you meant earlier? When you said you were friends with a couple of liches?”
Merle blinked. “When did I say that?”
“Never mind.” Noelle sighed, then turned to Kravitz. “There’s gotta be some mistake. Some kinda identity confusion. The Bluejeans I met in Phandalin, he — he was a good man. He tried to keep us hidden while he fought off that awful dwarf, that dwarf that was setting everything on fire as far as the eye could see. Mister Bluejeans was so reassuring, and so brave — if anything, I’d call him a hero, not some horrible undead monster.”
“That doesn’t really sound like our Barry,” Merle said. “He was kind of an ass. Told me to stab myself with a rusty fork.”
As his bounties squabbled among themselves over the true nature of Barry Bluejeans, Kravitz took the opportunity to pray to the Raven Queen.
Your Majesty, if these criminals think they can really track down such a dangerous lich… would taking their offer be the right choice? Or am I about to be scammed?
The reply was immediate, as if the Raven Queen had already been observing the Miller Lab intently and contemplating the situation for herself. I cannot make this decision for you, Kravitz. But I trust your judgement.
Thank you, milady. Kravitz collected himself, and announced his terms.
“I’ll tell you what. One lich isn’t quite enough to sell me on this deal… but two liches would be, especially if the latter of the two hasn’t been detected in over a decade. If you bring me the both of them in the next two months, everyone involved in this whole Miller debacle goes free — but if you fail, I come to collect all your souls. You still up for this deal?”
Magnus looked like he wants to ask for clarification, but before he could get a word out, Taako casually declared:
“Sure, dude, we’re up for it. Who’s the second lich, other than Barry?”
“Her name is Lup, and she was last sensed in the general vicinity of Wave Echo Cave ten years ago,” Kravitz replied with a smile. “That’s all I know about her, so that’s all the information you get, too. Good luck!”
***
“You’ve got two months to capture a couple of liches? And if you don’t, the Grim Reaper will take your souls?!”
“Shh, not so loud!” Magnus hissed, pressing a finger to Angus’s mouth. “Do you want everyone on the moon to hear?”
Angus glanced around the cafeteria. Exempting him and the three Reclaimers, it was completely empty aside from a few discarded, tattered Candlenights decorations. “Have you at least told the Director about this?”
Magnus smiled sheepishly. “Uh, it never seemed like the right time to bring it up.”
“Carey knew because she was there, but she didn’t seem too keen on being the one to break the news,” Taako elaborated. “Can’t say I blame her.”
Angus sighed. “And your new robot friend, Noelle. Is her soul a part of this bargain, too?”
Magnus nodded. “Yeah. We promised her we’d take care of it, so she’s hanging with the Regulators now —”
“And I bet Lucas Miller isn’t even dead after all, is he?”
“Perceptive as ever, Agnes,” Taako confirmed. “Maureen really did die, though. She went back to the Astral Plane.”
Angus took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, a gesture that made him look far older than ten. “No offense, sirs, but why didn’t just gamble with the Grim Reaper for your souls like normal people? You might’ve actually had a chance at succeeding, that way!”
“Huh,” muttered Magnus. “Good question…”
“Yeah, Taako, why didn’t we just gamble for our souls like normal people?” Merle echoed.
Taako shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I just thought that Kravitz guy sounded pretty okay, like he’d give us a reasonable bargain…”
“Reasonable? He made Magnus chop my damn arm off!”
“Arguing isn't going to get us anywhere, sirs,” Angus spoke up. He hoped he was putting on a calm facade, even though his feet were trembling in his shoes. “Did Kravitz tell you anything about these liches? Names? Locations of recent sightings?”
“Already jotted down all the details for you, my little man,” Taako answered, handing Angus a single sheet of paper. “Didn’t want to forget anything that would help you work your boy detective magic.”
“As if you could ever forget Barry Bluejeans!” Magnus scoffed.
“A lich named Barry Bluejeans? That can’t be right…” Angus took a look at the sheet, titled “Case File” in loopy cursive letters and broken up into two subsections:
Lich #1
Name: Barry Bluejeans
Last seen: The circular glass mistake formerly known as Phandalin, a couple months ago
Weaknesses: Gerblins (unless that was a cunning play so we’d let our guard down), pants that aren’t made of denim, the temptation to party and drink while other people do his job for him
Other information: Used to be Gundren’s bodyguard, and didn’t do a very good job — but who could blame him? That dwarf was an even bigger asshole than he was.
Lich #2
Name: Lup
Last seen: Wave Echo Cave, 10 years ago
Weaknesses: I don’t know, probably holy water or something
Other information: Zilch
Each section was accompanied by an illustration. Barry’s was a cartoonish drawing of a skeleton with jeans, glasses, and a mullet, while Lup’s was simply a series of question marks. At the bottom of the page, Taako had written: Now have at it, Caleb Cleveland Junior!
“…You really have a lot of faith in me, don’t you, sirs?” Angus asked quietly.
Taako shrugged awkwardly, as Magnus replied:
“Well, we know you’re way better at this than us. And you know that’s not exactly a high bar to clear, but you’re obviously our best shot.”
Angus took a deep breath. “Do you remember the reaper’s exact terms? Were there any loopholes we could exploit?”
“Were there?” Magnus mused, tugging at one of his sideburns. “Does anyone remember what he said?”
“Why are you looking at me?” Merle asked, prompting a laugh from Taako.
“Well, in that case…” Angus took a deep breath. “I guess I’ll interview Carey and Noelle to make sure we’re not missing anything, but we shouldn’t count on being able to cheat the deal. Do you think we could book a transport sphere down to Wave Echo Cave tomorrow morning, to go search for leads?”
“Should be no problem,” Taako told him. “Back to our old stomping grounds! I can hardly wait!”
“Reliving our old mistakes! Hooray!” Merle cheered sarcastically, and with that, the Reclaimers all sauntered back to their dorms with easygoing attitudes that Angus could hardly believe.
How are you all so cavalier about dying? he thought. How can you bear to joke about this situation?
And what will I do, if I can’t help you find these liches?
***
Notes:
I really appreciate people commenting on/reblogging this fic, especially for this first chapter! There's absolutely no obligation to do so, of course, but it would mean a lot <3
For what might be the first time in my life, I already have a surplus of chapters written, so the update schedule should remain consistent for at least a month or two (fingers crossed). Since this chapter was on the shorter side and included a scene I posted months ago, I think I’ll post Chapter 2 in a week, then switch to updating every other week from Chapter 3 onwards. (Probably still on Tuesday evenings, plus or minus 24 hours.)
Also, I’d just like to give a shoutout to Angus McDonald for always, always ending up with a bigger role in my fics than I expect when I start writing! But I’m glad he managed to sneak his way into this one, because there’s a bunch more Angus scenes coming up that I can’t imagine this fic without!
#taz#taz balance#taakitz#taako taaco#kravitz taz#barry bluejeans#magnus burnsides#merle highchurch#no-3113#lup taaco#the raven queen#taz balance spoilers#rosalia writes fic#fic: FTRALA
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I gotta talk about the Magnus Archives. So spoilers up until the most recent episode (179).
Uhg none of my friends are caught up so I gotta just throw it on here I guess. This isn't even a magnus archives blog, it was made for TAZ but desperate times man.
So I've been feeling really angsty about Martin and his whole role in the apocalypse and I couldnt quite place why until this episode. Specifically the part where John and Bassira are deciding that Bassira is staying behind and Martin spends the entire scene just trying to figure out what they are talking about and why they came to this conclusion.
And its just the feeling of being one step (or several steps) behind everyone else in understanding a situation. And you know. You Know. That if they just paused and let you catch up youd have something useful to contribute. You may even have a solution or a good idea. But you can't get there because by the time you understand thing A of the conversation theyre on thing C and you can't get them to go back to thing A. So you are just playing catch up.
And the fact that John doesn't let Martin catch up before just deciding what they're going to do is infuriating. I get it you are all knowing and whatever. But still. Let Martin know whats up before you just make decisions. And yeah in this instance it isn't John's decision to make, its Bassira's. But i just want Martin to feel like he is part of the team and not just being dragged along.
Anyway. Anyone else feeling this vibe or is it just me? I definitely could be projecting too much onto these characters.
#tma#the magnus archives#tma spoilers#tma 179#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#do they have a ship name? they have to i just dont know it
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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys
i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life
if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit
as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!
Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!
These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.
Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.
He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.
he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on
/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.
i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.
things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.
so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.
one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.
i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.
i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.
its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.
and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them
and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.
when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.
and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.
i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.
#angus.txt#getting deep in here but it felt good to write#i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves
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[PAGES /2 - /84]
So, Vast Error, huh? I’m finally getting around to this thing after being aware of it for many, many years. For a long time I intended to get around to reading it, but it never seemed to happen. For last year I’ve actually been kind of avoiding it for unspecified reasons, but I’m finally ready to give it a shot, and I’m so glad I did. So far, I’m really enjoying myself. I’ve written quite a few notes, so let’s try to convert them into something professional before I pass out at my desk for the night.
Vast Error starts off as any typical fanventure would: an “enter name” gag, and an outline of our protagonist’s interests. Nothing really out of the ordinary. Wriggling days are unsignificant, and the 22nd bi-lunar perigee of the dark season's 3rd blink seems to be Arcjec’s. Oh right, his name is Arcjec Voorat. Moving on. We can tell from the Mountain Dew Code Red cans around the room that he appears to be the Repitonian equivalent of an alcoholic, assuming soda and alcohol have the same parallel on Repiton as on Alternia. So far I have no real way of knowing, but it’s safe to assume I could be wrong here. Just an interesting detail I noticed, because it makes Arcjec out to be even more of a supposed loser than he is already established to be (which I assume is the point, I don’t find his character uncompelling due to these traits).
Skorpe is a pretty obvious take on Skype, which immediately dates this comic to having started back when people still used Skype. I feel so fucking old saying that. Damn. Arcjec’s handle is animatedHumorist, which is funny because this guy seems to not be very animated unless he’s falling out a window. XDXD Also, his quirk is cringe. XDXD
On the subject of windows, some asshole throws a pebble at his. Following is a REALLY nice scrolling panel on page /28. I never get used to smooth scrolling in this art style, but I always absolutely adore it. Even early on, the tech on panels seems to be ahead of what I can imagine was its competition. Arcjec feels pretty certain he’s going to fucking die, so as all brave warriors do, he goes to hide under his desk. Unfortunately his plan is foiled when some asshole messages him. “Blue guy”, or windlessArtificer seems to want Arcjec to play a game, a trope all too common to fanvetures. We need you in the gaaaaame Arcjec. But of course he says no, as his life is in a bit of immediate danger.
It’s at this time I’d like to point out that Skorpe is a horrifying program, and I made a joke about it wanting to kill me in my notes so... maybe there’s something there. I don’t know. Let’s go back to windows, that was a fun subject.
Whoops.
Arcjec falls out of the window, and we move on to a different character. Before we do, though, we get some interesting prose here. It seems to imply that Repiton used to be a different place, or at least that Arcjec used to be in a much different situation. I’m curious how exactly Repiton was different, but it’s not as though there are a lot of clues. Perhaps the violent injustice used to be more comparable to Beforus’ civilization, rather than what appears to be a clear parallel to Alternia? I’m not really sure. Let’s be another character already. Not the blue guy though, because apparently he’s too good for us.
But there’s nothing to worry about apparently, because it’s clown time. I’m sure the audience is ecstatic, but please calm down. I haven’t even hit post yet. I haven’t even pasted the image in yet!
Ok, now you can lose your minds clapping.
That is, if clowns and wrestling are your sort of thing. This is Taz. No full name included here, but that’s alright. Another standard intro plays out, though this time more aggressive. The Merthful Messiahs we’re all so used to from Homestuck seem to be replaced by the much more present and violent Merthamaniacs. This appears to just be Repitonian wrestling, turned into a religion, complete with the violence and death provided by troll societies. Also Hulk Hogan is the twin-president usurper-equivalent on Repiton, I think. I understand what happened, I’m just not sure how to phrase it.
Not a whole lot happens here, though something very noteworthy is that the ocean is totally fucked up. Is this what that prose from earlier was referring to? The oceans are so poisoned and radioactive, that all sealife has become incredibly hostile and cannibalistic. Trolls have naturally evolved to avoid water at all costs. That’s like... a lot of worldbuilding to just casually drop? But I assume it’s going to come in handy for keeping our protagonists from cheesing their way out of predicaments.
I had some notes regarding the ferocity waver and Taz’s Skorpe handle, preniciousOverkill, but I don’t really have anything to say about the subjects. I also wrote “the clown wants to kill me, it’s like Skorpe all over again” in my notes, so if there’s any kind of running joke that would work here, please let me know.
Oh hey, a new Skorpelog. This time it’s with Murrit. I know I haven’t been introduced to him yet, but I’ve known three characters in Vast Error long before I ever started reading: Arcjec, Ellsee, and Murrit. Murrit seems pretty fun. I like how he just seems to streamroll the conversation into his favor. He also talks about that pesky game we heard about before. I smell a SBURB session, but maybe not a SBURB session because honestly anything could happen here. These tropes are all being set up, but will they be subverted? Who knows. Well, you might, if you’re reading this. Is Austin reading this? Hey Austin, how’s it going? Oh shit, sorry, no time to chat, I’ve gotta get back to this blog post.
Cool shot of Murrit. Not much to say here. The fish stuff I mentioned before is actually brought up AFTER this conversation, I kinda fucked up. Anyway, Murrit mentions something about an informant, and based on what little I know about this comic, I’m going to assume it’s the guy we see in a couple pages. Or in this case, the very next section.
Fuck is up with this dude? On the very first sound page, we see Arcjec have some kind of dream about this guy who I’m assuming is Murrit’s mentioned informant. When he wakes up, the narration says it happened “again”, implying skull guy is a regular cast member of Arcjec’s dreams. I don’t have much in the way of wrapping things up, so I’ll end with a random theory I just thought of. Is this guy related to why Repiton’s changed, assuming that’s what the prose meant? Does this guy know a guy who was responsible? Who’s to say?
This has been fun, but it’s 1:30am, and I need to get some sleep. Catch you next time.
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TAZ Graduation episodes 14 & 15: Thoughts
*SPOILERS*
1. Finally time to catch up on all the episodes I missed when I was out of spoons for podcasts. Tbh i barely remember what happened in episode 13, i zoned out a lot lol
2. I always forget how much ttrpg podcasts actually cheer me up, I gotta remember that
3. I love [REDACTED] taking the lead on finding a solution.
4. OOH HE HAS SECRETS OOOOOH
5. Alright well if the tree turns out to be aliens or something I'm gonna lose it
6. Mmmm... don't trust this wizard guy. Somethings UP with him
7. "I'm not against you, I'm the DM we're in this together." bless. I love d&d
8. CURSED? Well SHIT
Does anyone have Greater Restoration??
9. M'kay on to episode 15 ^^
10. Fitz has been cursed with Asthma
11. Oh, oh no not asthma, Anxiety Attack.
12. Hey uuuh what the heck man. What the heck is going on
13. I really like the story Argo is telling. Good stuff that
14. Oh my GOD [REDACTED] just CURSED
15. Right well. Things are getting Real.
16. Oh the embodiment of chaos??? The embodiment of chaos you say??? NEAT.
17. Fitz is a good boy. Good good boy
18. Oh my goOoSh Argo XD
19. I'm prepared to hate Chaos forever now. Do NOT hurt my boys I will FIGHT
Hmm well that was fun! I'm glad to be caught up again ^^
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Podcats recs
The adventure zone - brother play dnd with their dad and its funny as hell, story picks up around the 3rd arc but it maintains it humor throughout and it's just fucking amazing
Wolf 359 - these r the audio diaries of doug eiffle on the USS hephaestus, hes a lazy communication officer who is bffs with the ships ai, hera, and I love her sm. Podcast is super funny and light hearted then it kicks u in the feels bc fuck u. Its amazing though and I would holy heartedly reccomend it
The bright sessions- ok soooo imagine the x men in therapy??? So these r the audio logs of dr. Bright, shes a therapist who specializes in kids and adults with powers trying to live normal live by helping them cope with their abilities and teaching them to control them. This one is super cute and funny and great and one of the leading romances is a gay couple and I'm here for it. Plot is amazing and yes
The penumbra podcast - ok so imagine a detective noire black and white style film... on mars.... and gender doesnt exist... and everyone is bi.... and its amazing. Ok so u follow juno steel, a independent detective on mars who's a fucking bisexual disaster who cant catch a break. This one is a bit on the heavier side but still has its moments and its story and characters r so amazing and yes
Deadly manners - this one is short, its basically a who done it murder mystery thing and while cheesy it's very entertaining and funny throughout! Also very very gay
Archive 81- Ahh hhh ok ok so I have no idea how to explain this but basically it's a horror podcast that starts out following the recordings of this dude named Dave who is tasked with archiving some sketchy tapes for this sketchy company and the tapes have some really fucked up shit on them and then things happen and magic is real and it sucks cuz now u gotta give this payphone ur left hand.... it's really good but very dark and a lil confusing but the third season is so amazing and the ending of the second season is a trip and I love it sm
Girl in space - this girl has been left alone on a giant ship with nothing but an AI to keep her company for years, then all of a sudden she has guest and she must adapt and it's funny as hell and I love all of them so much ah
Bombarded - this is a dnd podcast abt 3 bards attending board school and it's super silly and fun and the music is awesome, the plot is still in the works since it's just sorta picking up but it's a fun listen!
Directive - this one is short, it's a man who loses his job and is unable to find a new one so he takes a job as a care taker for rich ppl on a ship who r all taking a virtual vacation, the only problem being that he cant have any human physical interaction with anyone during his time on the ship. This one just made me cry oops, it's funny as hell at the beginning and then crying
Time bombs - another short one, 3 eps of just some bomb squad peeps doing their job on new years eve, this one is super funny and great and I love it so much and I need more of it now
The strange case of starship iris - ok ok lesbians in space. Yes. So violet liu is in a very shitty situation on a ship in space all by herself with little chance of survival until a woman on another ship makes contact with her and helps her out big time... but is she helping???? This one is super funny and all the characters r super fun and just ahh, it's short and updated whenever it wants but it's worth a listen! And also the government is watching ur every move. It's also gay
The far meridian- the story of peri, an agoraphobic woman who's home one day starts moving some where new every day when she wakes up. She has no control where she winds up but sees it as a chance to search for her brother. She makes friends along the way and slowly learns to understand people and learn their stories then fucking some mind thing shows up and starts fucking with her and it makes me so sad. And more gay
The blood crow stories- in its third season on going, this show is split in three separate stories. Season one focuses on a college student working on his final paper by doing an analysis of some old tapes he found of a boat that sunk in the early 1900s and also demons exist somehow and things take a turn so fast I just ahh. It's also super gay. Season two follows sheriff isaac of blackwell, set in American wild west, hes hunting a killer that seems to be targeting men in his town but things get complicated when they realized the killer has an army. This one is also gay. Season three is in a futuristic syfy setting following a hacker who works at an emergency hotline service, she starts getting freaked out by calls she gets at work and other strange happenings in her life. This too, is gay.
The message- NASA found an indecipherable message, determined to be from space, and assigns a team of scientists to figure out what it means. You follow a woman whose documenting the whole thing on her weekly podcast but things get complicated when they find out the reason no one could decipher the message
Life after- a man who's wife recently died is obsessed with her old social media, voice tree. He listens to all of her posts on loop and has memorized most of them. So what happens when it goes off script. This show is incredibly chilling and amazing, its incredibly sad yet impactful and made me cry help
Arcs pod- a dnd podcast in that's very similar in humor and style to taz with the production and editing of the bright sessions. The show centers around 3 idiots trying to get to this school. The npcs r all wonderful and then dm does an amazing job of setting up scenes and making each npc feel like a well rounded character. And gay
The Amelia project- hey ever wanna fake ur own death??? Well then Amelia project has got u covered as long as u can pay and have a good story to tell. This show is recordings of interviews with people explaining why they want to fake their own death and the explanations range from crazy cults to feeling like a background character! This show is extremely light hearted and fun. Fairly easy listen and its over the top humor and concepts are incredibly entertaining.
#podcasts#the adventure zone balance#the adventure zone#taz#the bright sessions#wolf 359#the penumbra podcast#deadly manners podcast#the strange case of starship iris#time bombs podcast#the far meridian#the blood crow stories#the message podcast#life after podcast#arcs podcast#the amelia project
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Last Seen Blogs
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