#i really fucking love flowers
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#spinda#AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky#whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct#ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way#have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby#ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚#but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in#shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun#i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café#which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing#it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around#and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere#nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately#not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever#their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig#shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!
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oh yeah.... im making aus now.... florist au but al haitham is a part time employee at the plant nursery tighnari owns and kaveh keeps running into him
#im very scared about talking about aus#since im not a writer... im a reader!!! shout out to all the fanfic authors you guys really carry me#also this is very obviously a modern au#in said au i like to imagine that when kaveh isnt actively drawing he wears compression gloves that double as normal art gloves theyre just#expensive as fuck so he tries not to get them dirtied in ink and graphite#in a similar vein al haitham owns 1 billion compression shirts cause comfy compression#i have a bunch of really specific and small headcanons tbh#ANYWAY ABOUT THE NURSERY PART#kaveh is a regular that likes to support his friends by buying way too many flowers he doesnt have the time to take care of :3#also he buys samples to show clients when he has an idea involving flowers for decoration#collei also works there part time#also kaveh and al haitham knew each other in college but the Fallout(TM) happened so they stopped talking until they met again#met again in the nursery lol!!!#imagine being surrounded by carefully tended to flowers and trees and other flora while slowly falling in love#with the same guy that tore open your chest and peered directly into your soul#haikaveh#kavehtham#kaveh#alhaitham#genshin impact
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Where do your roots start
And where do your roots end?
Something about seeing only the worst of yourself in the mirror. Something violent and terrifying, but knowing you only grew that violence in response to violence against you. Knowing your power comes from a place of trauma, something you don’t remember but wish had never happened. But it did, and here you are. There’s something new in you that isn’t the you that you understand and you wish it wasn’t but it is. Violence begets violence and you are unable to control what grows from the seeds that were planted. So you have to live with it and try not to let that violence spread.
You’ve already failed once.
And you see it every time you look in the damn mirror.
—
For Body Horror Week’s final day, prompt: Roots by In This Moment
#I was going to write a longer Drabble but holy shit Judas’s fic got me Shrimped good and instead I will refer everyone to that#Sav art#trigunbodyhorrorweek#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#tristamp#I’m REALLY proud of this I worked SUPER HARD ON IT#the roots and the flowers were so fucking annoying#but my favorite part is vash’s neck I wanna smooch it and tell him everything’s okay yaknow#also like same recognize same mirrors are evil and I hate them#I also love to give Eriks a lil ponytail as a treat
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rue is, i think, in love with the idea of love.
they set a wager. the lords of the wing will find true love in this romantic, ephemeral bloom, if they only seek it. they can win it, as though it’s a game.
they long to abolish the courts. their own court has never held any love for them - why would any other court be different? a court stifles, a court smothers, a court suffocates love. the courts must be abolished, so that love can bloom. true love, love that is unfettered by politics, or station, or duty.
they are the architect of the bloom. the hunt, the heart. the dance. the potions. they will pour love into a cup and the guests will drink their fill. fae from across the realms will fall in beautiful, perfect love at rue’s hand.
they have become the arbiter of love. when an engagement between a cruel prince and a wild goblin is set, what else can they do but judge it unfit? it was not love, it was not true.
they share a moment in a forest with a venerated captain. he is tall, as they are. he is clawed, as they are. he is a beast, as they are, and so beautiful for it. they fall fast, and hard, and heavy. and perhaps it is only the nature of queerness, of a life lived behind a mask, yearning for the faintest spark, that causes them to love so fast.
or perhaps they did not truly fall in love with hob at all. for they did not see him.
they fell in love with a reflection of themself.
except, of course, that hob is not a reflection of rue. hob is his own person, and like any real person, he cannot live up to an idea. and while rue is on a wonderful journey of revelation and self acceptance, it is baffling to them that someone else’s love does not always mirror their own.
rue, in an act of bravery and vulnerability and hope, removed their mask. and they long so very much to remove hob’s - but he has never worn a mask. he has always been exactly as he is - a soldier, devoted and dutiful. an outsider, used and abused by his court. rue’s true form was hidden by their court, while hob’s otherness has always been mercilessly exposed.
rue loves hob for the idea of who he could be, if he could simply unmask as they did. but hob needs, just as rue does, to be loved for who he is.
#this really went from 'rue doesn't truly understand love and is fucked up about it'#to 'rue thinks hob's story is one of queerness but it is in fact of neurodivergence'#and while rue could pass#hob never could#this hurt me to write btw.#a court of fey and flowers#delloso de la rue#captain kp hob#i see a LOT of talk about rue's story being a queer one#which it very very deliberately and wonderfully is#but i see the same being said of hob#and i'm not saying it's wrong to see hob's story as a queer one too#but to me hob's entire narrative is so clearly an autistic one#the abuse and manipulation and straight up gaslighting that he has received from his superiors#reads so clearly as authority figures taking advantage of a neurodivergent person#his whole... inability to accept that anyone could love him for who he is#the way he is othered not so much for how he looks#but for his BEHAVIOUR#for things that are blatant autistic traits#that's... that's an autistic narrative for sure.#not to say that hob isn't also queer#and of course there is so so much overlap between queer stories and autistic stories#but i think that#rue is only seeing their experience as a queer person#they aren't understanding that hob's experience is different than theirs#because he is autistic#also for many other reasons but like. look. we're talking autism babey.#and also i'm not saying rue can't also be autistic or neurodivergent in some way#but they don't have the same experience as hob does
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on the road to hell
#hadestown#art#my art#tag ramble as promised:#firstly#i’ve been thinking about redoing this as digital art#(like - mostly the same but cleaner and with some of the details fixed) and probably will if i have time#because i like this composition a lot#but! for now i am oddly happy with how this turned out despite being traditional art/watercolor (no undo button. sobs.)#and it Is a noteworthy day for hadestown with lola tung and lillias white departing#(this is Not meant to celebrate them specifically - i used the obc as reference not them - i just think it’s a nice day symbolically)#so i thought i’d put this out. whatever. yknow.#oh a second thing i will say is that this was a great excuse to check out the slime tutorials on youtube#i spent like 9 or something hours on this :/ so. plenty of time to have things on in the background while i was working. we love slime#thirdly! two things i feel like are worth mentioning rq for Symbolism:#wait for me reprise (intro) originally having wedding procession imagery (from anaïs mitchell in working on a song)#is what first made me desperately want to put the flower/petals on the edges (it still fucking haunts me)#though it was a solid composition choice in general i think#and i mean. clearly the carnation should be prominent. it’s the carnation. from hadestown.#i don’t think the wedding procession reference comes across the way it turned out but that was the first thought#NEXT ouroboros. the snake devouring its own tail (i legitimately forgot that this was why i first drew the rattlesnake that way but#fundamentally i really did just want its tail and head to point to each other lmao)
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first time drawing the gay wizards and I made myself draw a bg 🥲
there is a hidden dick for jester of course
#lots of little easter eggs#one for each of tm9#theres a snowdrop for vax and the other flower is supposed to be a black rose for yasha#notts might be hard to really see#the shading was real fun to do#i followed a tiktok tutorial someone did for an ofmd fanart#its not perfect but im loving the vibes lol#also fuck books but im happy i did them all how i did#cr#critical role#cr campaign 2#the mighty nein#essek#shadowghast#essek thelyss#caleb widogast#shadogast#ghost rambling#my art#cr fanart
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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Properly rewatching A Court of Fey & Flowers for the first time I forgot how good this season was it’s honestly even better on the second watch
#I’ve been on a big Jane Austen kick again recently I was in the mood for some regency#acofaf so perfectly scratches that itch man#like it’s funny and fantastic but it also hits like all of the tropes & conventions that make the genre so exciting and I fucking love it#and it’s so pretty too I think it’s still visually my favorite d20 season like the dome combined with the props and the projections#it’s all just so good#it was the season I bought a dropout sub for and it’s still one of my favorites#I really wish they’d do a valentines special or something like they did with the MisMag holiday special what I wouldn’t give#like let me see the Ruehob wedding oneshot#acofaf#dimension 20#a court of fey and flowers#spilling the Tea
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The plot of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is actually better than original plot, by a large margin
#not only did we get so much more ramona screentime & growth but I actually really liked that everyone lived & changed & grew#also the handling of scott & ramona's relationship feels way more healthy. also the show was SO QUEER omg it was great#I love roxie lmao shame she & kim didn't work out. wallace was kind of a bigger scumbag but I loved him finding his own sparkle at the end#also julie? me. I look similar & constantly swear constantly. she was hilarious & her x gordon was really funny#ramona's green hair look is what I wish my hair always looked like. OH ALSO RAMONA CHOOSING HERSELF? I LOVED IT#but yeah like. this rewrite helped the story age better imo. appreciate all the constant criticism of scott dating a high schooler in his#20s like finally it's addressed as fucked. lucas lee tho lmao “she's actually 31!”#anyway excellent show 10/10 animation was so fluid. the art style matched the comic perfectly. the story was a fun & refreshing spin#scott pilgram takes off#scott pilgram vs the world#scott pilgrim#ramona flowers#tc posts
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yall im sobbing ?? a girl asked me out to prom but i alr asked my crush please what the fuck wha thwyagbdbfnd
#im SOBBING i feel so GUILTY#<- im sorry im so sorry#sid rambles#holy SHIT man#should this be on the crushes tag#ill put it on the crushes tag#sorry for pining on main#MAN what the FUCK#holy SHIT#the flower from valentines day makes so much sense now#god. damn. im so stupid#<- i dont mind though im. im not rlly the type of person to want their love reciprocated#<- so ppl liking me. is kinda. ehh its ok but im just really fucking surprised#<- lithromantic ass LMAOO
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#floette#aaahhh yes. i love how they're always going :D in sv every time you look at them#whenever i see this pokémon i always think of a fucked up little man bc one of my characters in my pmd oc campaign thing that i talk abt#is a floette. he's a human-turned-floette that was like. a really rigid and emotionally cut off software developer with a passion for his#work and really subdued emotions kinda Businessman Guy who got turned into a tiny little fairy-type flower creature and is super fucked up#about it. not because he hates being a girly little flower‚ but because he's like “how the hell am i gonna use a computer NOW”#and all he wants to do is get back to the human world so he can do his boring dayjob again and not have to be a little flower guy#so i look at this thing and i'm like. yeeeeaaahh. fucked up little man who goes crazy learning he's stuck as a flower baby forever now
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Scott: "If you kill tango and leave me to be last green I'll let you kill me"
Jimmy: "Scott, I'm gonna give you.. 30 seconds to run, and go somewhere else. Before I start hunting you down, okay?"
Scott: "Okay, Love youuu"
Jimmy: "Alright have fun, I'll give you 30 seconds"
Scott: "say you love me back"
Jimmy: "30 seconds"
Scott: "I gave you a pufferish of peace Jimmy"
Jimmy: "Yeah someone took it, I don't know where it is anymore, I lost it"
#NO ONE TALK TO ME#CALL ME AN AMBULANCE#MY HEART HAS BEEN SHATTERED#I CANT BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED#HE REALLY DIDNT SAY I LOVE YOU BACK AND LOST THE PUFFERISH#FUCK ME OH MY GOD#limited life spoilers#limlife#flower husbands#they rlly just#i cant#im so gobsmacked#and so stunned#and so heartbroken
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Warning: Religion, God-critical (that term makes me feel like I'm writing meta that bashes a teen girl or pretends she is the villain), nihilism, explorations of suffering according to abrahamic faiths and particularly christianity, canon fucked upness in Aeron and Theon's stories. LONG POST.
I've been thinking about the Drowned God. I know people usually connect catholicism with the faith of the seven, which is fair especially when looking at it as an institution, and the faith of the Drowned God gets compared more often to Scandinavian/Norse mythology, more specifically to Valhalla as the afterlife (although I think the feasts given by Ægir and Ran in Skáldskaparmál would be even more fitting, but that's only me nitpicking), but the catholic catechism sees suffering as something that is both redemptive and also empowering and this reminds me of Aeron and Theon.
Christianity on itself believes that suffering, when united with the Passion of Jesus, atones for one's sins and thus allows entry into heaven. Catholicism specially sees suffering as an inherent part of the human condition brought upon by human sin against God.
“As long as [Adam] remained in the divine intimacy, man would not have to suffer or die.”
- Catechism of the Catholic Church
But since Adam and Eve committed sin by eating the forbidden fruit (or as I like to see it in my I-view-very-important-religions-as-basically-high-fantasy interpretation, Eve chose agency & knowledge and cut the strings this divine puppeteer used to limit her with), suffering was casted upon them and all their descendants. And then, according to the incredibly specific official bible timeline from the Houston Christian University, 3974 years, six months, and ten days later (skdghsfbdhaaahahahahahah) Jesus was sent to earth to cause some havoc and basically tell everyone that the suffering, the struggle, the oppression and all the horrible things that happened to innocent people in our world would eventually have a payoff after death.
The more strict practitioners (ex. flagellants) used to (and some still do) find spiritual benefits when causing physical pain upon themselves. Corporal mortification was seen as an act that brought you closer to purity. Suffering made you ascend in the eyes of God. Suffering was encouraged. Suffering was noble.
Suffering was a promise of hope.
The promise of eternal life (and the eventual bodily resurrection) allowed people to believe that, as long as they placed their faith in Christ, the suffering would not be tied to a tragedy.
The phrase "God is Dead" first appears in Victor Hugo's Les Misérables but it became more popular through Nietzsche's The Gay Science (Insert SpongeBob hand gesture). A simplified summary of the themes explored in The Gay Science would basically be Nietzsche claiming that christianity invented an ideal inexistent utopia that is too farfetched from reality. He sees christianity as a common, anti-intellectual philosophy for simple minded people that enslaves its believers. But by seeing it as something inexistent and false, by "killing God", the illusion of divinity is lost and all the hope and consolation that came with it are gone too, leaving humanity in a state of tragedy; nihilism.
God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?
- The Gay Science
To some extent I feel like he is the reborn Eve in the narrative. By denying the superior force he feels he gains control over his own person, but is left in a world of pain at the burden of his existence being tied to mortality and purposelessness (oh, sweet paradox)
Nietzsche was a self-proclaimed nihilist although he didn't seem to want to be one. He saw nihilism as the result of the loss one felt at the realisation that life, and all the suffering in it, had no greater purpose. "God is Dead" was calling the readers into finding a way to cope with the situation.
And for anyone who started reading this because I mentioned the Drowned God, sorry it took so long to get here, but I relate all of this specifically to Aeron and Theon and their connections to religion. I believe in Theon's bind to the Old Gods and, as he is in ADWD, it seems he has come to vaguely believe in both of these faiths, although the Old Gods are more present in his story. Aeron though, is so reminiscent of this concept.
And I know that christianity is not the only religion tied to the faith of the Drowned God.
The Osiris myth is arguably the most important one in Egyptian mythology and I think the motif of "What is dead may never die, but rises again harder and stronger" is just as if not even more present in that one.
In it, Set murders his brother Osiris. The reasons behind the murder vary depending on source, but one of them portrays it as revenge for Osiris having sex with Set's wife, Nephtys. Set usurps his brother's throne while Nephtys and Osiris' wife, Isis, search for his body, then mummify and revive him. Personally I don't consider it to be very similar to the myth of the Drowned God but it feels more resemblant to it than Jesus' very normal "came back without a scratch" resurrection. Osiris doesn't get that benefit. He comes back bruised and bandaged, with death being visible on him.
Christianity also has refrained from sacrificing their own but Quetzalcoatl and Tláloc, aztec deities, would demand human sacrifice through drowning during Etzalcualiztli (the sixth month of the aztec calendar) and Tláloc specifically promised an utopic afterlife to those who had water-involved deaths, but even more to those who willingly gave themselves to the water. Celts also practiced drowning sacrifices, but I know too little about them to be honest.
What I am trying to say is, if actively searching, one could alway find similitudes to other faiths, but because abrahamic faiths have been the ones that prevailed through time and the ones I've experienced most, I will focus on them.
Alright, Florence play "What the water gave me"
Drowning, baptisms and water imagery
I wonder what it would be like to be a Catholic, to dip your hand into the cold water and to believe in its holiness.
- The Moth Diaries (Yes, I read the Moth Diaries, shut up! It is what if Carmilla and Twilight had a child.)
Christianity is kind of basic when it comes to water symbolism, but it's loyal to its theme.
There isn't a lot to speculate on water, it "washes yours sins away" but there is a common pattern in characters that belong to the Bible that is repeated over and over again and somehow Aeron embodies it pretty perfectly.
We are confronted with characters who have lived sinfully.
On the other hand, I do wonder what would be considered as "sinful" according to the Drowned God. Their religion is passed down orally and has no scriptures that I know of, so a set of rules can be more ambiguous depending on whoever is preaching. Lust, greed, wrath and pride, all considered official sins by christian doctrine, are encouraged by the faith of the Drowned God in the form of salt wives, raiding and their beliefs of ethnic superiority. The only sin I can think of that is specific to the them is that Ironborn shouldn't kill Ironborn, but even that is absolved when water is involved since drowning another Ironborn is alright and a death near the water is considered a good death.
We are born to suffer, that our sufferings might make us strong.
- The Prophet, AFFC
Suffering is also encouraged, so I am assuming that any type of hedonism would be seen as sinful too (which would-be contradictory to what I stated above, but alright maybe GRRM was a little weaker when it came to world-building this time or maybe I am misunderstanding something. If so, please correct me, I genuinely am curious about these topics), if that is the case, then yeah Aeron was sinful and has reasons to look down on his former self.
Young I was, and vain, but the sea washed my follies and my vanities away. That man drowned, nephew. His lungs filled with seawater, and the fish ate the scales off his eyes. When I rose again, I saw clearly.
- Theon I, ACOK
Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptised,
- Acts 9:18
Here is one of the many character allusions I think one can identify in Aeron. Saul of Tarsus, disputed Apostle, leads a violent life persecuting early christians until lightning strikes him during one of his travels and blinds him. For three days he starves and spends his time praying until Ananias of Damascus comes to his rescue and baptises him.
It's one of the less obvious ones, but I just like how they used the scales-blindness imagery and while this storm was one at land, not at sea, there is another biblical character who shares more similitudes with Aeron.
As a kid the book of Jonah was one of my favourites, so of course I love Aeron!
A prophet, an equal, but weak in his beliefs, too tentative when he should be nothing but certain in his faith! God tells him to go overthrow Nineveh (east) and, because these prophets never learn not to contradict the narrative, he tries fleeing to Jaffa (west). On the way there, the ship he is traveling on is barely holding on because God has sent a storm against them. The sailors blame Jonah, Jonah takes the blame and goes "alright, you know what? Just throw me over board and the storm will cease." The sailors refuse, but Jonah goes overboard anyway. He comes back to the surface three days later reborn in the water as as a new man, now fully convinced to follow his path as a prophet.
Depending on the translation there are a lot of similitudes between the texts. Even the imagery used for describing settings is alike. I know religious scriptures get a bad rep because of all the atrocities committed in their names (valid, very valid), but viewed simply as text, they have some truly beautiful prose and the Book of Jonah is so vivid and precious, and it is very reminiscent to some of Aeron's chapters.
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said:
“In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,/out of the belly of Sheol I cried,
and you listened to my cry./and you heard my voice.
You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers swept over me.
I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
The engulfing waters were at my throat,
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
brought my life up from the pit.
“When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
“Those who cling to worthless idols
turn away from God’s love for them.
But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”
And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.
- Jonah 2
The seaweed in his head, the belly of the beast (Silence/Sheol), the crashing of the waves, the engulfing waters.
I won't even really go into The Forsaken with the Jonah comparison, because to me the Forsaken is the most open "Jesus in the dessert" analogy, but I still find it compelling to imagine Jonah and Aeron, both inside the whale/ship desperately praying to their God. Only one of them finds salvation and it's not Aeron.
But asides from setting and aesthetic there are these:
The god took me deep beneath the waves and drowned the worthless thing I was. When he cast me forth again he gave me eyes to see, ears to hear, and a voice to spread his word, that I might be his prophet and teach his truth to those who have forgotten.
- The Prophet, AFFC
Ears that hear and eyes that see— the Lord has made them both.
- Proverbs 20:12
Otherwise that they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.
- Isaiah 6:10
They have mouths but cannot speak, eyes but cannot see. They have ears but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths.
- Psalm 135:16 & Psalm 115:5
There is a singer from my country, she wrote a song called "Thanks for life" and then killed herself three months later (Iconic behaviour). The song is still considered a "humanist hymn", which I think is morbidly hilarious. In the lyrics, she keeps thanking life for things that should be basic to life; for having eyes, ears, mouth and hands. I think there is something interesting in how these are all basic atributes most people are born with but these acts of gratefulness, at least in Aeron and Jonah's case are not made in bad faith. They are genuine and true.
The Drowned God gives every man a gift.
- The Prophet AFFC
Are these seen as the God's gifts too? If so, are these acts of gratefulness supposed to make the believers humble and less ambitious? Or is it just that the God is a niggardly one? We know of Aeron having thought his gift was that he could piss longer and farther than most, and later on he recognises the power of his speech, his eloquence. Surprisingly, Aeron is never stripped of that gift once Euron captures him.
His eloquence is his strength, through it he preaches, leads religious rites, advices lords and convinces others to join the faith. And of course, he also baptises.
Baptisms, baptisms, baptising, cleaning the sins way, water as a metaphor for blood, birth, rebirth, John the Baptist!
This is where the storm -> near death experience -> spiritual reawakening pattern ends, but the similarities become more clear when we recognise both of them as heralds whose strength lies in their reputation and their oratory, something both Euron & Herod recognise and it is what keeps them from killing him (or in Herod's case at least for some time).
I have mentioned on my blog that I don't buy a lot into the Jesus-Theon comparisons and I will mention it again later but, since I am a hypocrite, I will take the Theon-Jesus bait and use it as a prop for my Aeron-John thing. As of now there are just two instances involving Theon that actually make me think of Jesus:
Psalms 22
His baptism
Jesus baptism marks his place as "messiah" but it also announces the beginning of his true calvary. By having the Holy Spirit descend on him after the water has cleansed him, he accepts his destiny as his father's (God) lamb to the slaughter. According to Matthew's Gospel it is even Jesus who has to beg John to baptise him, although John is initially reluctant. After the baptism Jesus departs to the dessert knowing of the suffering that awaits for him. This is not the case for Theon. Theon initially doesn't even want to be baptised. It's almost like he is subconsciously trying to escape what is to come after the baptism: the anguish.
Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine. The salt made his eyes burn, until it was all he could do not to cry out. He could taste the ocean on his lips. "Let Theon your servant be born again from the sea, as you were," Aeron Greyjoy intoned. "Bless him with salt, bless him with stone, bless him with steel."
- Theon I, ACOK
I love Theon's baptism by Aeron. It goes badly and it's tragicomical. It feels like a mockery of Jesus' baptism. A satirised Monty Python type of scene.
Here he comes, our cocksure young man who sees himself as the chosen one, holding a promise of paper while thinking there is an entire comet heralding his return, here he comes, our prodigal son, all "Don't need no advice! I got a plan! I know the direction, the lay on the land! [...] Nuh-nuh-nothing can break-nuh-noting can break me down!" only to get cold feet and be made to kneel in the mud, annoyed at the custom that would have actually anointed him, and then having to blink the tears away because it hurts him. @/shebsart has a really beautiful and intense but also comical depiction of the scene and I really love it.
It's also a little sad. It shows a disconnection from what should have been his culture and faith. The saltwater washed Aeron's follies away. Aeron embraces it, he drinks saltwater, bathes in saltwater and would probably not mind it on his eyes. The saltwater nurtures Aeron, but to Theon it only gives pain.
Ok now, to
Reek, Aeron, Job and Jeyne, Falia and Job's wife
(I think a reading of The Book of Job could also be applied to Lancel Lannister with Amerei Frey taking the role of Job's wife and Jaime Lannister acting as Job's friends, but I won't write about him and even Aeron will be in second place. @/nosaeanchorage wrote meta about the religious journeys Theon, Aeron and Lancel experience involving trauma responses which I found to be very interesting and well formed, so yeah I'd recommend reading it!)
The book of Job has a theme in its story. Can you guess it? It's further suffering!
(In a very deep voice: Where were you when I feel from grace? A frozen heart, an empty space)
So, Job is this guy living a rather fulfilling and morally righteous life; he is happy with his wife and children, has a few friends, is wealthy and healthy and, most importantly, he is God-fearing. Satan tells God that the only reason Job is loyal to him and serves him so dutifully, is because God has been good to him. God gets insecure and tells Satan "alright, let's see if you are right. Go torture him a little. You can take his riches, his children and his health in that order. You can take pretty much everything he values, but keep him alive!"
Job becomes a miserable wreck of a man.
It's not a favourite of mine, but it has a pretty good interval of "pathetic wet kitten blorbo" and "angry, scornful almost defiant in his resentment survivor" so I still enjoy it. And it also opens the question on whether "divine punishment" is really something inherently based on justice and goodness, it defies the way many religions tend to preach that bad things can only happen to bad people and, unlike the suffering promised by Christ, there is no redemption to be found through it. Job at some point gets healthy again and his riches are restored, but this was not a given. The suffering is pointless unless he finds a meaning to it.
This doesn't really sound a lot like Theon or Aeron. Both of them were deprived of well adjusted, happy lives since childhood, but Theon's behaviour towards Ramsay sometimes reminds me of Job's feelings for God, and Euron literally claims himself to be a God.
Ramsay is never directly compared by the text or any characters to a God (well maybe he himself does, but that's arguable), the closest we come to such is this:
“The gods are not done with me,” Theon answered, wondering if this could be the killer, the night walker who had stuffed Yellow Dick’s cock into his mouth and pushed Roger Ryswell’s groom off the battlements. Oddly, he was not afraid. He pulled the glove from his left hand. “Lord Ramsay is not done with me.”
- A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD
But Theon's fear for him sometimes makes me think of one. He is so terrified of Ramsay and sees him as this unbeatable force, but keeps telling himself and others that whatever Ramsay has done, as nefarious as it is, is an act of mercy and goodness. I know there are different interpretations to that behaviour. Some readers tend to believe that he has successfully gaslighted himself, others see it as a remnant of his sardonic and sarcastic sense of humour. Personally, I imagine it's a mixture of both. There is enough textual evidence for me to believe he does not truly think Ramsay is justified in his actions, but I can imagine how he might try telling himself that no punishment goes undeserved as a way of coping, which is what he tells Jeyne too.
In the Book of Job, our poor little meow meow goes through different reactions as his torture starts, many of them resemble Theon's thoughts, never fully by text, but very much in spirit.
He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason.
He would not let me catch my breath but would overwhelm me with misery.
If it is a matter of strength, he is mighty!
And if it is a matter of justice, who can challenge him?
Even if I were innocent, my mouth would condemn me;
if I were blameless, it would pronounce me guilty.
- Job 9:17-20
How long will you torment me and crush me with words?
Ten times now you have reproached me; shamelessly you attack me.
If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone.
If indeed you would exalt yourselves above me and use my humiliation against me, then know that God has wronged me and drawn his net around me.
Though I cry, ‘Violence!’ I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice.
He has blocked my way so I cannot pass; he has shrouded my paths in darkness.
He has stripped me of my honor and removed the crown from my head.
He tears me down on every side till I am gone; he uproots my hope like a tree.
His anger burns against me; he counts me among his enemies.
His troops advance in force; they build a siege ramp against me and encamp around my tent.
He has alienated my family from me; my acquaintances are completely estranged from me.
My relatives have gone away; my closest friends have forgotten me.
My guests and my female servants count me a foreigner; they look on me as on a stranger.
I summon my servant, but he does not answer, though I beg him with my own mouth.
My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own family.
Even the little boys scorn me; when I appear, they ridicule me.
All my intimate friends detest me; those I love have turned against me.
I am nothing but skin and bones; I have escaped only by the skin of my teeth.
- Job 19:1-20
That, the ambivalent conviction that they deserve to be punished, and the overall fear of their torturer's omnipotence are written similarly. Of course in Job's narrative the omnipotence is real, in Theon's it is only perceived, but so, so strongly.
And this is where Jeyne takes an interesting role.
Job's wife is a fun character and I admire her. To some extent she and Jeyne serve similar purposes in the story, since they defy Job and Theon's conviction of their fate being unescapable. Sadly, in Job and his wife's case, she is wrong because you can't defeat God and you can't escape him, but I still appreciate her condemnation of Job's passivity and God's supposed goodness. The text focuses on Job's pain but never on the collateral pain that reaches his wife. She might not have fallen sick, but since her living condition is tied to that of her husband she is affected by all this. She has lost her riches, her happiness, her children, and only because of God's whims, someone she begins to hate. She also begins to loathe Job and the way he keeps making excuses for God and justifying the tragedy that befalls them. So, she tells Job:
“Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
- Job 2:9
(fucking metal, I love her, iconic behaviour)
The holy scriptures are not very compassionate to women who defy men or God, they get vilified and punished, but I applaud that bravery.
In Jeyne's case, her defying of Theon's conviction that Ramsay is unescapable is done much more gently and the relationship between them appears to be one of mutual compassion; Theon often tries to victim-blame her in the same way he blames himself but never seems to truly internalise that, Jeyne apparently doesn't hold his participation in her abuse against him and considers him her saviour. But still! Jeyne, as meek and scared as she is, is the one who by constantly asking for help, by acting undignified in her suffering and not simply taking it without question, manages to water this seed of doubt in Theon's mind, even if he himself isn't fully aware of that.
And it's kind of fun to think how, although Jeyne and Falia are narrative props with similar purposes, it's Jeyne and Aeron who take the place of Job's wife. Falia is Job, fully sure that Euron is merciful and will treat her with respect and care for their children, that Euron will not forsake her, while Aeron is immediately telling her to run for her life.
Maybe because, unlike Theon, his faith is already placed in a God.
Jesus Christ & The Forsaken (and Lodos and Theon)
(Need new song...Wow a yard SAIL!)
Lodos
I'm going to clear the issue with Lodos very fast, because he too seems to be like a wink at Jesus Christ. Lodos literally claims he is the Drowned God's Son, dies, then supposedly comes back from the dead some time later like "'sup", leads a rebellion against the current ruler of the Iron Islands and dies again this time with all his followers being persecuted and killed, so yeah, he seems like a satirised version of Jesus Christ but there is not a lot more to that.
Theon
I have seen people claiming connections between the two but never in a manner I could agree with, and I feel so stupid because I don't get it. People sometimes compared his and Robb's relationship to Jesus & Judas, which aside from the suicidal thoughts post "betrayal" doesn't seem very alike. The "betrayal" was done for different reasons, the reactions to the "betrayal" are different, and the guilt also comes from different places. By placing Theon as Judas we also sanctify Robb in a manner I find almost insulting since Robb condoned and approved of Theon's torture by the Boltons. If I'm going to compare Robb and Theon it will be more to God & Satan, but even there it's only a superficial similitude.
Now, Aeron, Aeron, my love, Aeron!
My God, my God, why have thou forsaken me?
- Psalms 22:1
“Still praying, priest? Your god has forsaken you.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
Even the title feels like a reference. The trajectory of Aeron's belief during the chapter resembles the psalms too and, although I never believe in anything I think, their similitudes are what makes me hopeful about Aeron's fate; the idea that he is not truly forsaken.
As hinted above, the Psalms begin lamenting themselves over the anguish that God is seemingly not stoping, yet as they continue the psalmist becomes even more convinced of his God being a merciful one who will provide a cure for his afflictions, one whom the world should praise.
For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.
From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you I will fulfil my vows.
The poor will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the LORD will praise him— may your hearts live forever!
All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him,
for dominion belongs to the LORD and he rules over the nations.
All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; all who go down to the dust will kneel before him— those who cannot keep themselves alive.
Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord.
They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it!
- Psalms 22:24-31
According to most interpretations, the psalmist himself is Jesus. This is the suffering of Christ and from Psalms 22:22-31 it is spoken by him after coming back from the dead. He encourages others, those who have witnessed his anguish, to believe. This is also what Aeron does once Falia is bound to the prow with him, he tells her of better times to come.
“Falia Flowers,” he called. “Have courage, girl! All this will be over soon, and we will feast together in the Drowned God’s watery halls.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
This also slightly mirrors Jesus and the Penitent Thief, who is crucified next to the Messiah and fears what is to come after death. He asks Jesus to not forget him.
Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
- Luke 23:43
It's so remarkable and moving to me how Aeron has always tried to protect Falia from Euron. He doesn't know her, if he were to have known her he would have probably looked at her with scorn, to some extent she has acted as an accomplice to Euron in his captivity, and yet...he promises this frivolous greenlander girl that the two of them will feast together...
The end of the chapter also carries christian imagery that seems to stem from Christ's crucifixion.
“Your Grace,” said Torwold Browntooth. “I have the priests. What do you want done with them?” “Bind them to the prows,” Euron commanded. “My brother on the Silence. Take one for yourself. Let them dice for the others, one to a ship. Let them feel the spray, the kiss of the Drowned God, wet and salty.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said, “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.” So this is what the soldiers did.
- John 19:23-24
They bound Aeron Damphair tight with strips of leather that would shrink when wet, clad only in his beard and breechclout.
- The Forsaken, TWOW
The overall mental image summoned by that description is also rather similar to the typical depictions of Christ on the cross.
And even prior to The Forsaken, there are still some smaller, more superficial similitudes between the two.
Aeron lives sparingly, has no material possessions save for his waterskin and robe, he has a cult of followers devoted to him, and disregards governmental authority since he obeys to a higher power, one who encourages suffering in the same manner christianity does. Aeron fasts, goes swimming in cold water, drinks salt water, all this as a way to serve his God and become a living example of their teachings.
So yeah, in my opinion Aeron is the closest we have to an ASOIAF Jesus reference. It's not Theon, Theon's torture by Ramsay and the torture he imposes on himself afterward have no ideological purpose, it is pointless and unwilling. In my opinion, it's not Jon, it's not Beric, it surely isn't Robb, I hope it's not Dany (although I see a lot of abrahamic imagery in her (Moses + Lot's wife)), it's the Damphair. And I love that. I love how (according to the the author) one of the least sympathetic characters in this story has been somewhat equated to Jesus. A bold move, one that I've enjoyed a lot.
Anyway, in order to further develop this.
The Storm God, Euron and the Devil
Let's go!
I feel like Euron would appreciate this type of stuff he is flamboyant, weird and comical. If we ever get an ASOIAF musical I like to believe this could be inspiration for a duet between them.
Monotheism is a rare concept in ASOIAF.
The Many-Faced God could be the closest we have to a (explored in text) monotheistic religion, although it is monotheistic in the way Hinduism could be considered monotheistic: The belief in one supreme god whose qualities and forms are represented by a multitude of different deities, all which emanate from one alone.
Out of the religions that are explored in the books none of them are really monotheistic, although some of them demand for their worshippers to worship them and no other.
Most real-life monotheistic religions have a type of "anti" to their god, who is not a god themselves, but is a being superior to humankind meant to drive them to perdition. They function more as a tool for testing human's moral compass and will to follow the true God than a foe. The word "Satan" means "adversary", but this is in reference to his relationship to humans, not to God.
In Goethe's Faust, God and one of his devils, Mephistopheles, make a bet and Mephistopheles is fully devoted to winning that bet. He does everything in his power to prove human virtue isn't true and that corruption will always prevail. The story proves he has a point. Faust does some completely despicable and heinous stuff and is very immoral, and still Mephistopheles loses anyway because God decides to pardon Faust's misdeeds and allows him to enter Heaven. Mephistopheles never stood a chance. He was fighting the narrative and the writer of the narrative and he could only be defeated by them. He is only a minion of God who doesn't comprehend his position and believes he is capable of surpassing a creature who is above all.
This is pretty compliant with christianity's views on the devil.
Hoverer, it is not the case with beliefs like those of Aeron and Melisandre. They don't regard the Storm God and the Great Other as mere petty minions doing the Drowned God's or R'hllor's dirty work. They see them as threats and all other gods as their petty minions.
"There are no gods but R'hllor and the Other, whose name may not be said."
- Victarion I, ADWD
"Your Drowned God is a demon, he is no more than a thrall of the Other, the dark god whose name must not be spoken."
- Victarion I, ADWD
The Storm God is considered an enemy of the Drowned God, and although his labour is similar to that of the christian devil (driving men/sailors into their doom), he seems to be his own creature.
And still! When comparing Aeron's role to Jesus Christ in the Forsaken, I can't help but think of Euron, the Storm God, and Satan as one.
“Kneel, brother,” the Crow’s Eye commanded. “I am your king, I am your god. Worship me, and I will raise you up to be my priest.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
(Not gonna lie, I think it's very fun how out of all the Greyjoy's the one whose name is directly derived from "God" is actually Theon, but alright, whatever...)
We don't really know what triggered Aeron's religious awakening. With Theon, Ramsay and his time in Winterfell is the easiest answer, with Aeron it's a mystery and I don't dare to say religion was a coping mechanism for Euron's sexual abuse or Urri's death because, based on what we know, the more plausible options are that alcohol and sex were the coping mechanisms.
We only know he went down in a storm and washed up ashore. On itself that is enough to be traumatic, so I don't know how much we should speculate on it.
A smile played across Euron's blue lips. "I am the storm, my lord. The first storm, and the last.
- The Reaver, AFFC
I don't even have a theory, I don't have any proof or a structured idea. This just seemed remarkable to me. The concept that Euron might be involved in whatever happened during that storm is tempting and fun, nothing more.
Now, if Aeron is playing the role of Jesus, with Falia as the penitent thief during the "crucification", then I think I can claim Euron is taking the role of Satan; especially during The Forsaken.
After an undetermined, but apparently long period of starvation and isolation, Euron finally comes to Aeron, dressed in black and red, and presents the equivalent to the Devil's three temptations.
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ”
Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.
“If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “ ‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ”
Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ”
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.
“All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will kneel and worship me.”
Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ ”
Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
- Matthew 4:1-11
“That’s it, priest. Gulp it down. The wine of the warlocks, sweeter than your seawater, with more truth in it than all the gods of earth.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
“Pray to me. Beg me to end your torment, and I will.”
“Not even you would dare,” said the Damphair. “I am your brother. No man is more accursed than the kinslayer.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
“Kneel, brother,” the Crow’s Eye commanded. “I am your king, I am your god. Worship me, and I will raise you up to be my priest.”
- The Forsaken, TWOW
I'm not going to pretend they are the same, with exception of the third one, but even the others have small resemblances; nourishment of some sort after starving + trying to get the other killed, although the later one reminds me more of an encounter between him and Victarion.
Euron turned to face him, his bruised blue lips curled in a half smile. "Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower?"
- The Reaver, AFFC
The last temptation, is the most interesting to me, because Euron has already distorted Aeron's faith into being chosen as King. He played at the edge of legality and won! And yet now, during The Forsaken he is experiencing a sort of existential defeat. Aeron is not being rescued by any god, but he would rather die as a martyr or accept even more torture and suffering rather than serve him. It doesn't matter how much Euron tries to convince him that his God has abandoned him, that he is a greater force, like Jonah, Job and Jesus Aeron refuses to abandon his faith.
And I think this persistence is what will keep him alive.
I've always found it very fun and interesting that Euron never threatens to cut Aeron's tongue out.
When wondering why, the Theon-Ramsay answer would be that Euron likes to hear Aeron's pain, which makes sense given how Aeron is a more targeted victim of his compared to ex. Falia Flowers. But Euron very clearly intends to gain Aeron to his side. He knows of the power Aeron holds in his voice and speech, of his reputation as a holy and respected man among the Ironborn, and how much of a waste it would be to simply throw away that power. Remember Varys' "[Cersei] knows a tame wolf is of more use than a dead one"? An eloquent priest is of more use than a mute one.
But this also backfires on him because since Aeron's integrity can't be broken, he manages to keep defying him and even continues spreading the word of the Drowned God, even as he is in a situation of mortal peril.
And still, even if the end of The Forsaken is somewhat triumphal, I can't believe it.
Yes, he is strengthening his faith, this obviously is a victory over Euron, his persistence and loyalty, but how long will it last? Weirdly enough out of my five favourite POV characters, Aeron is the one whose death I'm convinced of the least (sadly), and whenever I try picturing him after managing to get away from the Silence I can't help but imagine there will be a change in his mindset and I don't know what form it will take.
“Even a priest may doubt. Even a prophet may know terror. Aeron Damphair reached within himself for his god and discovered only silence.”
- The Drowned Man, AFFC
Maybe it is because the chances of getting to my 30s are very narrow, and in the mean time I am in physical and mental pain, that I find there is something very beautiful and empowering about showing that the horrors are not always meaningful, and that they are continuous. The horrors are trying to live before, during and after the horrors.
So anyway, the reason I brought up Nietzsche way earlier in this is because I don't think the suffering in characters like Aeron or Theon is of nihilistic nature and it baffles me when people pretend it is. This is not suffering for the sake of suffering because suffering is inevitable and pointless and blah blah blah blah misery porn blah blah blah trauma porn blah blah blah moral outrage blah blah blah. It is suffering, it is inevitable, it can be pointless, and it makes a huge point in the narrative and the characters lives! And it is important to me that we see characters go through these things; to see them lose, grieve and hate, to see them being imperfect examples of victimhood, even if their feelings on the matter will vary. Some might attach some personal value to their trauma and others won't and both should be allowed to exist in media without people pretending only one of those is valid.
Theon's suffering is something very rare and precious to me because it serves no greater purpose. It started before he even met Ramsay and hasn't known at end ever since. I don't consider it redemptive, it's not a justified karmic punishment either. It carries no ideology and it's not for the sake of others. There is no consolation for him or anyone else because of it. The blood will coagulate, dry and be washed away, the wounds will scar and heal, and he will gain weight and muscles back and none of his mental issues will be solved. The torture doesn't fix him.
And I think that his possible outlook on it will be very interesting to see in contrast with Aeron's and their respective religious journeys. Theon's religious awakening is different and still genuine. It is in servitude to another faith that would be looked down upon by Aeron, and whom even Theon himself denied back in ACOK, mockingly referring to them as trees.
"Tell me true, nephew. Do you pray to the wolf gods now?"
Theon seldom prayed at all, but that was not something you confessed to a priest, even your father's own brother. "Ned Stark prayed to a tree. No, I care nothing for Stark's gods."
"Good. Kneel."
- Theon I, ACOK
And I can't imagine an Aeron who, after going through an event this world-shattering (being tied to the prow of a ship while living unspeakable horrors, being drugged by the person who sexually abused him as a child and has now confessed to killing their brothers, one of whom Aeron seemed fond of, being confronted with the victory of a self proclaimed god whom he despises, and starting to form his own connection with a former mean girl whom he would have spat on, now co-victim), would be as judgemental to his nephew's newly awoken beliefs, even if they differ, even if he keeps viewing his own calvary as something divine, even if to Theon the suffering will never be a positive.
With all this said, I will admit I long for some evolution in Aeron's faith as the story progresses. I am open to pretty much every ending, but I love the possibility of a rupture between him and the faith that has been sustaining him for so long. Perhaps not a full negation of his God, but some questioning of his religion. The unsettlement of the "God is Dead" sentiment crawling in the cracks of his doubt.
So, simply out of curiosity in case anyone actually managed to get here:
#speaking#asoiaf#aeron greyjoy#theon greyjoy#euron greyjoy#ramsay snow#falia flowers#jeyne poole#ok yeah fuck it I am posting it#I know nobody really cares about this stuff and sorry for clogging the tags but I had fun doing this and it's been on my drafts for#a month or so#christiangirlera#/sarcastic#whenever I see people complaining about [REDACTED] in Theon or Aeron's story I just think of that post complaining about lesbianism in rgu#“Oh I love this but this detail ruins it for me. It shouldn't have been there.”#and then that detail is one of the core themes in the premise that is fundamental for the development of the character#“mIsErY P0®n iS Vo¥eUr|sTiC”#well guess what? most fictive media is vo¥eur¡stic!
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Wuvvy, burn.
#i am UNWELL#like i love dimension 20#but after i watched acofaf i read every single ruehob fic i could get my grubby hands on#and then watched bridgerton#and then watched a ton of compilations of acofaf again#i think wuvvy is such an interesting character#i'd absolutely draw a ton of rue and hob and ruehob but i haven't worked out owlbears or bugbears yet frfr#i draw 95% miku this is hard#ACOFAF#a court of fey and flowers#dimension 20#wuvvy#i'm almost done with mentopolis but i might fucking go back and watch acofaf again#aabria really popped off with that one#i'm not uploading this one to insta cause it's too rough#but i wanted to yell in the tags about my brainworm sorry
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look i get bton has set up some seeds (ba dum tiss?) that polin will be the pairing in the Featherington Family to have a male heir first (and it's popular in the fandom as an endgame for them) and thus will inherit the estate but
consider the following:
they find out about it and go 'ahahahah NOPE' and thus become co-conspirators to get Pru or Phillipa preggo before them. because with inheriting the estate. . .what they really inherit is the debt. and neither of them are eager for that anytime soon
so one storyline is that they're on a mission to get Prudence there first so they're always out here making very thinly veiled insinuations at PruDank and make up excuses and schemes so they're alone with each other. Penelope takes the lead for this particular side of the scheme, but they're definitely in kahoots. like Colin will lead Dankworth to places and Penelope will do the same for Prudence and whoops, look at that, what a good time for the two of you to make an heir and Penelope's there in Prudence's ear like it should be you, you're the oldest, it's your right, wouldn't you want to lord it over Phillipa forever? like the devil on her shoulder and constantly hyping her sister up because please, god, don't let it be her, she doesn't want it to be her, she is a grand total of 19 years old and she wants to fuck her husband consequence free, and she can't do this chastity shit, it's not reasonable, so Prudence, time to hop on that horse! let's up and at 'em, sis
and the other is Colin coming to Albion like 'soooooooo. . .I have to ask. . .how have you managed it?' and he's like 'managed what?' 'to be married for two years and not have a baby. I mean, I'm a newly married man and I'd like to. . .enjoy my wife before we start a family. I have to know your secret' and Albion is just there going 'huh? what secret? we've just being doing it normal?' so Colin's very concerned like 'oh no, what if i've offended him? what if they can't have kids???' and Albion and him keep talking until it becomes clear that, wait, hang on, what do you mean by normal and it finally comes out that the reason Phillipa always seems like she's got a stick up her bum is because she does so he's like 'oh fuck, oh no, oh no no no, i can't be the one to inform him that's not the way to make a baby' ala: 'you are putting it in the right place?' and he's white as a ghost like 'so very sorry, i think i left my cat on the stove, i have to go'
and Colin and Penelope come together at the end of all their schemes like 'well. . .there goes Plan A. . .and B. . .and C through G' as Penelope frantically wonders if she can get Gen to pull Prudence aside and Colin is contemplating which of his brothers he can bribe enough to have the 'So, women have multiple holes' discussion w/' Albion because he refuses to be the one to do it
meanwhile, Portia is out here making potions to try to get one of her daughters to have a baby because thus far, she's batting 0 for 3, and Polin's schemes somehow always end up in direct opposition to her schemes, thus canceling out each time
tell me that wouldn't be the funniest shit you've ever watched on this show
#polin#do i dare tag anything else? lmfao#this is kind of crack but also i desire it desperately#guess i have to write it#in particular i'm just imagining that albion-colin conversation as he gets more and more distressed#going 'what do you mean? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?!?!'#portia out here with her teeth gritted like 'I'm going to kill Colin Bridgerton' (because he is the perma-thorn in her side)#as Penelope sips tea going 'please don't i like him too much'#neither of them realizing they're on the same side#but also Portia does NOT want it to be Polin because she's like 'good lord COLIN BRIDGERTON in charge of the estate??? he's too stubborn'#because really she's hoping it's Dankworth so she can still manipulate him and keep control#and Colin is out here hoping it is ANYONE BUT HIM because no he wants to fuck his beautiful wife in rolling fields of flowers and on beache#he loves babies but maybe they can wait until his wife isn't a literal teenager#portia and colin squabbling as penelope is there like 'you're. . .on the same side?' and they hiss going 'HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!?'
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ok so red geraniums aside the perfect flower to represent vash is the dandelion. like yes its yellow and spikey just like his hair, but it's also an incredibly versatile flower able to survive in unlikely and uninviting environments.
and also its about how its perceived by many people as a weed, an unwanted nuisance, despite not really causing that much damage or trouble to plants around it and infact helping other plants grow by pulling up nutrients from deeper in the soil.
#grymms spectacular fucking posts#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#trigun maximum#trigun 98#something could probably also be said about how when dandelions ''die“/ produce seeds they become a symbol of wishing or something but idk#and also about how many children seem to like dandelions while the people who hate them generally do so only because they dare to go against#their harmful and unreasonable love of lawns#dandelions have always been my favorite flower really and i think they're great
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