#i present you my disaster son who does not know how the fuck to interact with girls he likes lmao
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kitkween asked: ❝ don’t look at me like that. ❞ for stiles
DENIAL HIS BEST WEAPON OF DEFENCE, next to sarcasm of course, both of which she can see right through, and that’s a little terrifying how she could read him to filth with just one look and all stiles could do in response was some weird as fuck giggle, shrugging as if to plead ignorance to the fact she’ fully just CAUGHT him checking her out shamelessly, he looks around as if she’s talking to anyone but him, a sheepish smirk on his lip as he STRUGGLES to make eye contact for longer than a few seconds.
“ like what? -- i have noo idea what you’re talking about...” he trails off, a nervous laugh echoes in his throat as he shifts his weight from side to side anxiously on the spot. there was something about kat that both intrigued him and terrified him - maybe it was that she was like, really fucking hot, in a scary intimidating kind of way, plus her smarts and sarcasm a match for his, which again -- really fucking hot.
he’s a little confused, cause SURE he’s followed her private instagram fully expecting to be declined, and yet he WASN’T -- so oh stiles has seen things, wonderful, magical things -- mostly her booty, which he’d totally been caught STARING at more than once. “ see you say you don’t want me to look BUT -- you accepted my follow request sooo -- maybe you do --” tripping over his words, he’s laughing, but he’s a clusterfuck of nerves right now, thankful it’s just the two of them in the hallway so no one else needs to see how much of a disaster he is; bad enough he’s embarrassing himself in front of kat right now.
// @kitkween // euphoria meme // accepting!
#❛ sarcasm is my only defence ❜ [ muse; stiles stilinski ]#kitkween#i present you my disaster son who does not know how the fuck to interact with girls he likes lmao
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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.
lol what
I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass
also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go
IIDA ANGST
Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida
meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”
“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still
“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT
yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue
okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol
LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL
“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then
oh, ouch
he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan
by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree
and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez
anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol
OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??
FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent
so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient
mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!
FUCK YEAH
okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?
in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no
oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!
poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol
omg. well that answers that
so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible
(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.
and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)
by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol
WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI
YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR
okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward
dskfjfkk
“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”
actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol
(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)
whoa lol wtf
MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT
-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK
“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao
and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices
poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg
“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS
FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU
THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami
okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces
um excuse me this is fucking awesome
wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk
TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY
WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE
and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji
KAMINARI OMFG
it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice
aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself
do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude
oh shit the mask!!
-- oh shit the feels
o(TヘTo)
fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...
and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance
(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.
incidentally, as @class1akids pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)
anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!
“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal
p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked
ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last
okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago
but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once
and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama
and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED
#bnha 320#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#asui tsuyu#tokoyami fumikage#kaminari denki#todoroki shouto#class 1-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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Hey it's me again ❤️
I'm just gonna whisper something in your mind (is that even possible?)
Having a baby with Hybrid Katsuki.
Just that. Imagine girl. Perfection.
Ok, real talk here. Every time I see a request from you I uwu a little bit bc I know for a fact whatever you're requesting will make me get so immersed and involved and I'm gonna 💕💞AAAAAA💕💞 while writing AND [lemmecatchmybreath] it happened once again skdjdkfkf Hope you enjoy and sorry it took longer than normal~
Word count: 1.8k
× listen 🥺 I already started and I'm melting, ok?
× when he finds out you're having a smol baby together?
× he freezes and looks at you in a whole different light
× if you're getting pregnant, he will definitely smell the change in your scent and will know even before you do; he'd be instantly by your side with a bewitched expression on his face, taking your cheeks into his palms to just soak everything in yet he's shaking slightly
× and even if you adopt [hopefully a smol hybrid], something deep inside of Katsuki, burried and long forgotten surfaces
× this is the life he always wanted, he always craved even in his darker moments
× this happiness, this fulfillment, this joy
× I absolutely believe he will diligently read and learn everything about the baby to come; will educate himself like no other, deciding to be the very best father he could ever be
× his life was rough and he was stolen away from his biological family, he will now have a chance to have his own and he will not fail you or the baby
× when you hold the little bundle of sunshine in your hands, head down admiring the beauty of a new life, he will stand there, again in shock, again soaking this moment in... so beautiful, so perfect
× will he ever tell you that? of course not; angry ass wild pomeranian—
× but his face gives him away every single time and when you tilt yourself to hand him his new son or daughter, he falls in love for the second time in his life;
× he burries his nose in the soft and fragile skin of the baby's head and breathes in, his instinct kicking in to defend, protect, care, look out for...
× watch carefully because once the baby makes a noise, he'll still, unsure of what to do, but smile so softly as the baby coos in his arms securely; that right there is the best image you can have of soft Katsuki.
× the first few weeks are actually horrible, sorry to break it to everyone aksjskdj not because he doesn't know what to do or does not want to help; on the contrary, he is so incredibly attentive but he also recites the books he learned by memory at this point and it's getting absolutely infuriating;
× although understand him, please; he wants to prove he's a good dad 🥺 except you wanna smack him bc he scoffs if you suggest something he isn't sure about.
× you will find him standing by the baby's crib as it sleeps; he's just???? making sure this is not a dream????? don't question anything though
× can we hc Bakugou with a daughter too? [ already established in the Hybrid!Kiri hcs that Kiri'd have daughter bUT i just really really like beefy men with tiny daughters;;; my heartttt;;; ]
× his little angel, no discussion, no argument, his daughter can do NO WRONG!
× he's very down to earth though, don't get me wrong, he just absolutely adores spoiling her
× speaks softly into her ear, the lowest you'd hear from him
× gruff, raspy, gutural voice ofter overused to scream now low and soft as he holds her into his chest; doesn't do baby-voices or anything like that, but calls her his angel then smirks at you if you're watching;;; then starts softly complaining and bitching about you to the baby 💀 all while rubbing her back
× omfg his hand is as big as her tiny back; guys, call an ambulance, I'm—
× Katsuki would be the type of little shit to pull what I just said then grab you and glue you to his chest too; he'd look down at you both, eyes shining in such adoration he'd take your breath away just before he continues his ranting about you;
× once the baby starts being more interactive, her giggles specially the ones induced by her daddy will make him melt; absolute diminute baby with a small wiggling tail clapping her chubby hands at her dad? his eyes would widen suddently, ears snapping high in surprise and he's taken back by the emotions overtaking him
× he's gone, man; she has him wrapped around her tiny little finger and you can't do anything about it
× instantly acts all in denial if someone is around though; scoffs to hide is obvious smile, placing a palm on his mouth to further block it out and tickles her with the other, earning another fit of giggles
× please, don't tell him his whole tail is waving from side to side
× the only clear giveaway apart from his ears and it's;;; a d o r a b l e;;;
× specially when your daughter also starts wagging her tail in response whenever he does it;
× "Hey, come see what the dumbass is doing!" or "Look at what she did" while showing you a video; proud pappa 🥺
× we're bringing back Proud Bakugou bc hIS DAUGHTER iS tHe BeSt; no, seriously, his kid is the mf best in the world and he will start this presentation with—
× now sit down with me and accept this: the baby; yes, your sweet daughter; mhm, that adorable screeching angel; mhm;;; she'll talk so early it's disturbing.
× at 6 months or so she's already saying mamma, dadda, kitty, woof-woof
× seriously terrifying how sharp she is and how she cannot shut up; for the love of gOd, Katsuki, this is all your fault... it doesn't matter, he just smirks as he has another reason to brag to anyone about his child
× did that street vendor look at him funny? "I'M GONNA FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAUGHTER—"
× super-protective of her and fucking hates with a burning passion if anyone dares to do that thing where they match up babies saying "Maybe they'll get married when they grow up"
× hands down, no filter, he just looks deep down in whoever had the audacity and says "Like fucking shit they'd deserve her."
× drag him away before he throws fists
× he will definitely if you don't drag him away and you know it, they know it, the baby knows it and cheers for pappa, the whole world knows it at this point and they're buying tickets to watch the shitshow
× chest carrier and walks around with the kid like a boss
× man has shit to do, don't even dare to judge him;
× handles fits really well, he's impressive to say at least
× she's spoiled, yes and always has new toys, coloring books, whatever she wants but the moment she throws fits, he puts his foot down
× baby would be smol angery bb all adorable in all her Bakugou genetics anger and he'd just stare, tapping his foot
× literally waits in place until she calms and looks up at him with big, round eyes, puffy red cheeks and ears lowered
× mission accomplished; he nods then picks her up;
× and you're there amazed??????
× "The fuck you lookin' at?" lil shit still has a foul mouth tho, but make him get just as pouty and embarrassed as the child in his arms by saying something cheesy like "How amazing you are as a dad 💕"
× all rainbows and unicorns until she starts repeating insults and fr tho, Katsu almost shits his pants, fearing your reaction. Will, hands down, chill out with the insults even if he meant no damage with them; he has this unreadable expression on, a mix of shame and fluster, dread too? he's sorry, ok????
× loves, loves, loves cooking for you both and once the kiddo has her own special chair to sit at the dining table together, that's when he sees it: his dream
× you, wiping some food off her cheek with a loving expression, talking about your day casually, baby giggling while she moves her face away playfully; he loves you both so much.
× has these rare moments where, at the end of the day once you're settled in bed, he'd hug you tight and thank you in his mind for... for this... all of it...
× once she starts walking they're both a disaster
× seriously, do not expect the household to be silent ever again [ well, that dream was gone long ago anyway lol ]
× "Where the fuck do you think you're goin'?"
× rapid giggle running around from place to place
× "Oh, for fucks—"
× "Katsuki." you only need to say, catching him in his insults
× 😳 ... "Kid, come back, we're goin' to the park." Skdjkdfkl
× sudden adorable tiny fast steps approach him bc they're going for walkies!
× he is very careful with her and teaches her about stranger danger; also teaches her how to growl and even if her attempt is a total failure, small rawr leaving her lips, he's like "Yes. Good job. Now give it more heart."
× he growls as an example
× she growls back, sounding like a cute lil pup 🥺💕
× as she grows up, she obviously acts more like her father yet he knows when to stop the bad behaviors and it only takes a warning growl from him to get her to cease
× yet somehow you're the strict parent at the end of the day??????? tf????????? who made the rules??????
× starts calling her brat, squirt, lil shit 💕lovingly💕
× "your child" if she did something bad
× "Your fucking child kicked the ball into the vase and broke it." Aha, nice one, Katsuki. Good job.
× not to brag but her puppy eyes don't work on him but yours do; the problem is her puppy eyes do work on you bc she's the light of your life so if she wants something; she'll puppy-eye you knowing you'll get it for her bc daddy loves you very much 💕💞
× literally evil mastermind; didn't I tell you she's sharp? pft, she's playing you both so hard
× every day he comes back from work she runs to him at the door, tail wiggling happily behind her as she stretches her arms to be picked up and he always does, without a doubt, then proceeds to kiss the top of her head
× come out to greet him too? the whole loving routine is his absolute thing and wants to see you, have you kiss his cheek; he complains but adores it soooooo much!
× you have a family night; BONDING WITH MOODY POMERANIANS. Yes, plural, and it sounds perfect~
× even if it's just one of those animated movies he hates so much, he'll watch through all of it and make sarcastic comments just to make you both laugh; will grin satisfied asf if he manages to do so bc he's the best.
× will definitely want another kid, so how about maybe a boy??? hmm???
× asks you if you're up for the idea and if you agree, he'll roll his eyes and crack his shoulders, acting so very uninterested and purely exhausted yet his smirk would give him away:
× "Knew you'd torture me with another devil"
× throw him out, istg— 💀
#bakugou katsuki headcanons#noire writes#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#hybrid!bakugou#hybrid!au
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Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.
Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:
✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨
MDZS/CQL
1. Wei Wuxian
Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation
2. Wen Qing
On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!
3. Jiang Yanli
The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind
She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all
4. Jiang Cheng
Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.
5. Lan Wangji
I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future
yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically
TGCF
1. Xie Lian
suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO
2. Hua Cheng
of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge
3. Jun Wu
Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.
4. He Xuan
I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h
5. Mu Qing
Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster
SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂
#long post#asked & answered#lol sorry this is so long and incoherent#the truth is that I really love these stories and their casts#and I think it’s v hard to extricate the characters from the cast#because they are so deftly and beautifully interwoven#but here are the characters I think are my favorites lol#loosely in order#tgcf spoilers#also this is why I prefer tgcf to mdzs tbh?#jgy is intellectually interesting to me and a good antagonist#but not personally compelling in the way jw is
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You said you can info dump about Jonestown massacre? I'm here to learn about Jonestown massacre.
OHOHOHO YES
okay so if I start from Jim Jones’ early life this is literally gonna take me hours to write and probably take you forever to read so I will try to cliffnote the context of....y’know, his life
He didn’t have super present or even very parental parents, his mother worked a lot & his father was a disabled WWI vet. A neighbor took him to church w her family on Sundays and that began his interest in religion. He went to different churches all the time to see what they were about but had a particular interest in the Pentecostal church, it was loud & interactive & joyful but they did get a bad rep for “speaking in tongues”
Jim married his wife Marceline when he was 17 or 18 and she was like 20-21. She was working as a nurse in a hospital that Jim did custodial work in while he was trying to get himself through school. I have a lot of thoughts about Marceline Jones and most of them are “she deserved better” but we will come back to Marceline later.
Fast forward fast forward and Jim & Marcy have a number of kids, their “rainbow family” which consists of one bio child and a number of adopted children I think?? Listen in my defense he ended up with nine (!!! NINE) kids and they’re hard to keep track of but I know Stephan was their biological son and they adopted Jim Jr. who was black and Lew & Suzanne who were Korean which was a bigass deal at the time. More kids cropped up over the course of things but y’know. When Jim founded the Peoples Temple he got the MLK Jr award for racial equality because his church was the first fully integrated church at least in Indiana which was fucking nuts at the time??? Lots of people liked him. It appeared that he was doing good things.
And then shit like faith healings started where he would stage religious healings from cancer and shit and his congregation began regarding him as a deity. Someone would be blessed and would spit out a “tumor” (a piece of chicken liver) or the woman in the wheelchair who got up and walked turned out to be Jim’s secretary. Completely bogus nonsense, but it was a good, integrated church and they all thought he was a good person.
So, (and I’m leaving out details here sorry) Jim starts teasing like an escape to a “promised land” type deal. And he goes to a bunch of places looking for one—he spends time in Brazil especially—until finally settling on Guyana. The Guyanese govt was excited to have Americans coming bc they were at war with Venezuela and it was...sort of like insurance, but yeah. They gave the Peoples Temple a couple hundred acres in the middle of basically the fucking rainforest. And it was touted as like this socialist utopia and shit. It’s work but there’s housing and you grow your own food, and it seemed nice! Especially for people who were so disillusioned with the government and racial inequality. So they move out to Guyana and start to build houses, and shit is pretty alright at first, but...The soil isn’t fertile and almost no food actually grows. The hours are long and the work is backbreaking, not to mention the HEAT, but it’s like, deal-with-able until Jim Jones gets there. At this point Jones is like completely totally paranoid and he’s losing his grip on reality. He’s been doing drugs for years and his sermons have gone from “the US government is bad because it’s capitalist and racist” to “the US government is literally plotting to kill us.”
Some people managed to get out, and formed a group called the “concerned relatives.” They were, you guessed it, concerned relatives of the members who’d been whisked off to the Guyanese wilderness. Lots of people wrote off their concerns because of how many people, namely politicians, liked Jim Jones for his work in racial equality, but the one guy who listened to them was Congressman Leo Ryan, who was by all accounts a Pretty Solid Dude. He didn’t think anything fishy was happening, necessarily, but his whole stance was “I hear you & your concerns, and we should check it out to put your mind at ease! :)”
By this point, life in the Temple is falling! the fuck! apart! Jim Jones has a PA system set to run 24/7 that either play a) recordings of past sermons or b) his announcements happening Right This Second. People work for like 16 hours a day, there are armed guards at the entrance and around the fields to keep people in, the housing is cramped and overcrowded and they do Not have enough food for the almost 1000 people there. They are also getting record low amounts of sleep because Jim Jones, Nutjob Extraordinaire, has gotten into the habit of blaring the air raid siren at god knows what our and calling all his followers into the pavilion for a White Night. Which is, if you can even fucking believe it, a PRACTICE MASS SUICIDE BY KOOL AID.
Talk about foreshadowing.
So anyway, Leo Ryan rolls up to the compound, relatives and an NBC camera crew in tow, and is like “hey what’s up! :)” Jim Jones has been COACHING PEOPLE to tell him how much they love it. It’s fucked up. But okay
So they put on this dinner and a show type deal for the congressman and all the visitors, and Marceline (remember Marceline?) gives them a whole tour and shows them her pride and joy, the school she’d built and helps teaches at, and the medical center, and the daycare, like Marceline ADORES children this cannot be overstated. There are about 300 children in Jonestown and she loves them with her whole heart. ANYWAY
And everyone is having a funky good time, except Jim Jones, whose sanity is coming unraveled like an old sweater and his 950-ish overworked undercompensated cult members
But as Leo Ryan is leaving, someone slips a note to one of the reporters, BEGGING him to get them out of there. And then someone else comes forward. And then another. There are like....maybe 10 people total that come forward? Jim Jones loses his mind, naturally, but Leo Ryan is still like “hey, 10 out of 950 isn’t bad at all! They just miss their families :)” and they get going.
Unfortunately, because the number of people traveling back to the US from Guyana is greater than before, and they came on a small plane, they’re all posted up at the Port Kaituma airstrip waiting for a second aircraft. And this is when shit gets fucking real.
Jim Jones secretly sends his Red Men (read: “guards” with shotguns) to the airstrip to kill everyone because they’re going to give their secrets to the CIA or whatever. So they fucking roll up in this trailer and...open fire. Leo Ryan is killed, an NBC cameraman is killed, some of the defectors and concerned relatives are killed, many of them are wounded.
The Red Men return to the compound and report back to Jones. And then he gets on the PA and tells everyone that the USA’s destruction of them is imminent. He lies and tells them that the pilot will be shot and the plane will go down, and the US government will come into the compound for retribution and kill their seniors and kidnap the children and rape the women. You can hear a recording of this on YouTube! It’s called the Jonestown death tape and it will absolutely ruin your day if you listen to it. Anyway.
People are panicking. It’s time for the real White Night. Jones gets a vat of Flavor-Aid (off brand Kool-Aid) filled with cyanide and narcotics and says “drink :)” and...everyone is...understandably afraid. They’re tired and exhausted and terrified and have no idea what’s true or not. One woman, Christine, argues and pleads for another solution, like running off to the Soviet Union. The entire rest of the compound shouts her down.
So, finally, people drink. Those who won’t, and young children, are injected with it. The death is not painless. People suffer for a long time, and move to the back of the line, lie down, and die. At a reception house in Georgetown, one of Jones’ aides kills her three children and then herself with a steak knife.
A handful of people get out. Maybe five are able to hide, and three of Jones’ sons are away at a basketball game in Georgetown while this is all going down, so they live.
Jim Jones does not drink the poison. Jim Jones shoots himself in the head, and his private nurse does the same.
Marceline Jones screamed, sobbed and struggled until every single child had died, hoping at least one of them would be spared. And when none were, she dried her eyes, resigned herself to her fate, and drank the Kool-Aid.
The 900-something bodies, about a third of which were children, began rotting in the tropical sun almost immediately. Many of them were decomposed beyond recognition by the time the US troops got there. Those unidentified are buried in a mass gravesite in...California, I think? It was the largest loss of American life not due to a natural disaster up until 9/11. The place is still there, though now it’s overgrown, and it’s just...haunting. There’s a number of documentaries on it (recommend) and if you have a really masochistic streak, the Port Kaituma airstrip shooting and the Jonestown death tape audio are both on YouTube the last I checked.
Thank you for indulging me my special interest, and I’m happy to expand on anything here or give more details :3
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acosf rant review
i finished acosf a while ago and i just can´t stop thinking about it so this is an attempt to get it all off my chest cause i have a lot of thoughts.
spoilers below the cut
i read the first 6 chapters when they were “leaked” and honestly that just set the bar really low. all these years that i´ve waited for the book i always thought nesta was going to illyria and that she would be away from the inner circle (except for cassian and azriel). but then came those chapters and i realized the ic would actually be in the book and i was pissed.
the first few chapters were hard to get through. what mor said about sending nesta to the court of nightmares (and cassian not saying anything about it), what amren said about putting her in the dungeons in hewn city made me want to through my phone across the room. sure, send a depressed person dealing with ptsd, which is something they have all gone through before, to a place where she´ll feel more tortured. yay that´s so smart. it will certainly make her feel better (/irony).
also this thing feyre says and sjm apparently forgets about it throughout the book to make us believe feyre acted solely on nesta´s wellbeing. (i dont´t hate feyre yall it was just clear to me she had ulterior motives to send nesta away and that quote proves it)
“It is about how it reflects upon me, upon Rhys, and upon my court when my damned sister spends our money on wine and gambling and does nothing to contribute to this city! If my sister cannot be controlled, then why should we have the right to rule over anyone else?”
but then the part where nesta calls rhysand “an arrogant, preening asshole” got me laughing so much. this whole scene is a fucking disaster but that part was funny af.
i only began to really like the book after the scene where nesta helps gwyn by trading the books in merrill´s office. when nesta trully smiled for the first time i literally teared up.
also nesta´s friendship with the House was amazing. one of the best things in this book. and the whole “the house likes romance books” made me laugh all the time.
“The book,” Nesta said, a bit breatlessly, “is about...” Her nostrils flared and her eyes went a bit unfocused. “A book”.
“Interesting”, Cassian murmured, “Sounds great.”
and this dialogue... pure gold. i’m also like that when i’m reading smut and someone asks me what the book is about hahaha.
now another thing that bothered me:
“Because illyrians are backward and horrible”
why is sjm constantly depicting the only POC in acotar as monsters? wht tf did she make them to be abusers? it´s a rhetorical question btw. i think we all know the answer. i´m a firm believer that even though this is a fantasy book, stereotypes like this are still damning and wrong.
the fighting scene between cassian and azriel and nesta fantasizing about a threesome was funny and weird. i understand sjm wanted to show us who the threesome would be with if she hadn´t deleted it and it actually made me glad she did. it would not have fit the narrative at all.
the sex scenes were great in the beginning but then i got tired of them. i always get tired when there´s that much sex scenes and ik sjm warned us. but it was nessian so i made myself read and care about them.
nesta´s power damn i was shook. i loved it. all the scenes that showed her power were absolutely amazing.
now moving on to the worst part of the book. nesta Made the weapons. with her power. therefore they are her weapons. they happened to end in rhysands hands but that doesn´t give him, or feyre, or the ic the right to choose not to tell her about her weapons. the whole high king thing sjm threw out there just to make us see that hey rhysand is not bad yall he doesnt want to usurp power even though he has the weapons for it and his friends actually suggested it. amren could go to fucking hell for all i care after this. also for the things she say when nesta confronts her about it.
when rhysand and all them found out the baby could kill feyre and didn´t tell her i was already pissed. who the fuck they think they are to deny her the information that she might die and that her son would likely die with her? nothing and no one has that right. not even her fucking mate. no one. i think it was wrong of nesta to tell her the way she did and to only do it out of anger. but i was actually fucking glad someone told her at all. and rhysand threatening to kill nesta only makes me more angry. even feyre can see it was because of the parallel she saw between them not telling her about the weapons and she isn´t even angry at nesta. but rhysand thinks he has the right to be angry after not telling his mate she could die? oh fuck off.
i actually enjoyed the major plot of this book. the dread trove thing, the queen and koschei was actually pretty interesting to me and i wasn´t bored. it actually made me more interested to read the next books. i had promised myself i would be done with sjm after acosf cause all i ever cared about was nesta but i might keep reading cause i enjoyed this plot.
since i´ve talked about the worst part (to me) let´s talk about the best parts now. nesta´s, emerie´s and gwyn´s friendship was absolutely everything to me. i love them all so much. i was just so happy to see nesta happy and i fell in love with emerie and gwyn as well. i also love nessian and although some things they said to each other and the way cassian behaved toward nesta in some scenes didn´t really make me happy, i will always love this couple. i just like the version in my mind and fanfics better. and nesta´s whole healing arc was amazing to me. it made me so so proud of her.
azriel´s present to nesta made me soft. i love them so much omg i wished they had interacted more.
the scene where it´s revealed nessian are mated is so heartcrushing. it made me sad to see cassian say he was “shackled” to her because she had already admited she felt unworthy of his love and by saying that he just made her feel it all over again. sad sad sad sad sad. i actually cried.
the whole blood rite thing to me was only to prove to us readers that nesta was strong even without her powers and it was preparing us for what would come. that being said i actually liked it. i think the bond the girls created there and nesta realizing how strong she was made it worth it.
now to the ending. i unfortunately read spoilers of the ending before i finished the book. so throughout it was already preparing myself for that scene. i think that was part of the reason that i wasn´t pissed by the end of the book. i don´t think power means strenght and i also believe nesta is strong regardless of her power. but i just loved her power, you know. i don´t think she´s any less strong now because everything she learned makes her strong in a different way. but i was just sad. it made me think sjm just didn´t want anyone more powerful than rhysand.
also sjm really made nesta think of rhysand as her brother, seriously. out of nowhere. he never did one good thing toward her. never. and he also didn´t apologize for the bad things he did. no one apologized actually. nesta and feyre were the only one´s that actually said they were sorry and that realized they were wrong. sjm made nesta apologize to everyone. but only one person apologized to her. disappointed but not surprised.
i think that´s all i have to say. this book was truly a rollercoast of emotions to me. i was angry, sad, i laughed, i cried (of sadness and of happiness) and in the end i was just happy. all the things i wrote here were because i couldn´t stop thinking about the book after i finished it and i started realizing some stuff. but i still loved it. nesta is my favorite character and in the end i´m just happy she´s happy.
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emma x killian au: a bit of disaster, a bit of magic
Holy moly! This (really needs to be edited one more time, but we’ll save that for AO3, shall we?) monstrosity is my gift to @hollyethecurious for the @cssecretsanta2k19 (thank you for your tireless work on this!), and is my first attempt at Emma x Killian fic (eek!).
Hollye, what a joy to chat with you over the past month. I present to you a wordy as all getout friends to lovers fic that takes place over six holidays (five holidays with a bit of disaster, and one with a bit of magic), a soupçon of Captain Cobra, and brief appearances by older brother Liam, as well as (one hopes!) romance and a whole host of other good things. Hope it brings some joy to your season. And I’m thrilled to be able to start following you on Tumblr now and send messages without fear!
And I swear -- post-road trip, a more edited version will also appear on AO3. Happy holidays!
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title: a bit of disaster, a bit of magic
fandom: once upon a time
pairing: emma x killian
word count: 12,400 | AO3 link: here
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summary: When Killian and Emma first meet on Thanksgiving she has some rather unsavory words for him. But then they somehow manage to navigate a series of holiday disasters together. In so doing they also stumble upon a bit of holiday magic.
Thanksgiving
Or, the holiday where Emma calls Killian a pervert
As far as holidays go, Killian finds this Thanksgiving to be relatively textbook. Liam and Kate both made far too much food, took utter delight in teasing him for his lack of love life, and then he went home laden with abundant leftovers.
Only for things to rapidly become significantly less than textbook. It all started when he poured himself a glass of wine at home.
Home: the place wherein he poured himself the aforementioned glass of wine as he began to wind down for the evening, and then somehow proceeded to spill all but a single gulp on his bedding.
Bedding: the freshly laundered, high thread-count duvet and sheets, put on the bed this morning, now soaked with Malbec.
With one set of sheets in the hamper and the second set wine soaked, Killian tossed back the remaining gulp of wine and resigned himself to an evening of doing laundry. On Thanksgiving.
In retrospect, Killian knows he should have just taken his brother and sister-in-law up on their kind offer to stay the night, but he’d found himself emotionally overwhelmed by the end of the night. Over dessert and coffee Liam and Kate informed him they were likely going to start trying for their first kiddo in the new year. And as excited as Killian is at the prospect of having a little nephew or niece to dote on next Christmas, it also served as a reminder of how close he’d gotten to having it all once. And how it doesn’t seem at all likely he’ll ever get that close again.
These kinds of maudlin thoughts are exactly why Killian poured himself that glass of wine. Wine that, as Killian holds the clean sheets up to the light in the laundry room, quite remarkably seems to have not stained. He does the complicated hand twisting and folding technique his mum once showed him and sets aside the fitted sheet, reaching for the flat sheet.
Killian hears the door to the shared laundry room open behind him as one of his neighbors enters. He slides his stacks of laundry together to make room on the folding table and is about to greet whoever walked in, commiserate over their fate of doing laundry on a —
“So, is this a normal thing you do on Thanksgiving, you sick pervert?”
Okay. Maybe not.
He turns around slowly to meet the steely gaze of one of his neighbors whom he’s seen from time to time in the mail room and hallways (and once in a rather lurid dream he still feels guilty about). “Do I normally do laundry on Thanksgiving? I wouldn’t consider it a tradition as such, but —”
“No. I mean steal women’s underwear.”
“Pardon?”
She steps closer only to swipe a pair of his briefs off the table. The pair of underwear is, admittedly, a little absurd, but nothing quite warranting such a vitriolic reaction. They’re the rare white elephant gift he actually opted to keep. Aside from being the most comfortable pair he owns, he quite enjoys the whimsical print of yetis sledding and decorating Christmas trees. He takes a step towards her and she backs up.
“What is wrong with you?” she asks.
“I’m not certain what is happening here.”
“What’s happening is, you’re a sick fuck.”
He frowns. That seems, to put it mildly, uncalled for. “Okay, hold on now —” he takes another step towards her
“You stay there,” she demands, pointing a finger at him.
He holds his hands up in a placating gesture. He has so lost the thread of this conversation. And he really should have just stayed at Liam’s house for the night. “I won’t come near you, lass, but if you could return my trunks I would —”
The indignation on her face makes her appear incandescent. “Yours?!”
“Yes, mine.”
His neighbor starts sputtering and then she goes silent, her jaw clenching in a way that is, if he were to be honest, rather intimidating. Still, Killian does (for some unknown reason that would likely require a good amount of therapy), what he so often finds himself doing whenever he meets his match: he smiles.
His smile only makes the frown lines on her face deepen.
“Look,” he says, in his most sensible tone of voice. “Do you really believe I would be daft enough to steal your undergarments and then remain in the laundry folding them knowing any moment you might return?”
It’s only for a split second, but her features relax as she considers his words. Then she full on glares at him, clutching the briefs in her fist. But then her eyes dart to one of the dryers on the wall.
“Have a look,” he says, gesturing with his head to the dryer.
“Don’t think I’m taking my eyes off you for a second.”
“I would despair if you did.”
She remains true to her word, keeping one eye on him as she opens the dryer and roots around inside. He knows she’s found what she’s looking for when he hears her groan. “Fuck me,” she mutters to herself, and then pulls out a pair of briefs identical to his own.
She groans again. “This isn’t possible.”
“Yet here we are.”
She shuffles over and hands him back his briefs. Killian has to actively work to keep in his laugh as he watches her remove her clothing from the dryer and start another load. From the way the pink in her cheeks burns brighter, she’s aware of his gaze.
“So, is this a normal thing you do on Thanksgiving?” he asks. And there’s that rather becoming jaw clench of hers. “Accuse men of stealing your underwear, I mean?”
She remains silent and Killian decides to show mercy, finishing up his folding and stacking the clothes in his basket. His neighbor gives him a wide berth as she carries her laundry basket on her hip and leaves - no, flees - the room. But not before she mutters an apology. “Sorry if I, uh, said — you know?”
“Now, what could you have possibly said?” he asks, all faux innocence.
If possible, her blush gets even brighter. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
Once back in his flat he texts Liam the whole story. As he putters around, remaking his bed and pouring himself another glass of wine, he bursts out into little chuckles of laughter replaying the scenario. Laughter which Liam echoes in emoji form once he responds. Frankly, this woman is Killian’s hero (Liam's too, as he offered to buy her a gift basket for helping keep Killian's ego in check). Maybe he’ll see her in the mail room and can assure her of her place of honor in Jones family lore.
He’s settling into the couch with a book when there’s a knock. Killian frowns, his eyes darting to his wall clock. It’s somehow only half-eight, but he isn’t expecting anyone. He looks out his peephole and smiles at the sight of one his young neighbors holding a platter of baked goods. They’ve only chatted in the elevator and occasionally in the halls but Henry is a warm and charming young man, and Killian always looks forward to their interactions. Which doesn’t explain why he —
“Mom, get your butt over here.”
“You knocked, he didn’t answer. He’s probably asleep.” And then the woman from the laundry room comes into view and it all makes a little more sense.
“When you mess up, you apologize. Those are the rules.”
“The rules for what?” she asks.
“For life.”
“Who taught you these rules?”
“You did.”
She huffs out an exasperated laugh, but wraps an arm around Henry’s shoulder and pulls him close. “God, why couldn’t I suck more as a parent?”
Killian decides to put her out of her misery and answer the door. Young Henry looks delighted at his appearance, and his mom appears miserable. Like she wants nothing more than to sprint in the other direction.
“Mr. Jones! Happy Thanksgiving! This is my mom, Emma.”
“Sir Henry, Happy Thanksgiving to you.” He looks to Henry’s mom. “And to your lovely mum.”
Henry shoves the platter of treats at him and Killian bobbles it before holding it steady. “These are for you!” Henry needlessly explains. It’s a platter teeming with pumpkin pie, cookies, and some sort of toffee almond concoction that looks delightful. “My Aunt Mary-Margaret is the world’s best cook,” Henry says.
“Well, thank you, Henry. And please give my thanks to your aunt.”
“I will. Now my mom has something she wants to say to you.” Emma looks ready to protest but then Henry smiles up at her, his grin wide and toothy and she shakes her head, affection for her son apparent. “Goodnight, Mr. Jones.”
Emma watches as Henry walks down to the end of the hallway, unlocks the door, gives his mom a thumbs up, and walks inside. Once inside, Emma turns to him and mumbles something barely audible.
“I’m sorry. What was that, love?”
She huffs out a breath, fluttering a strand of her hair in the process. “I said, I’m sorry for calling you a pervert.”
“And?”
“And for trying to steal your underwear?”
“What about for calling me a sick fuck?”
“I did not!” she protests, but at his look her brow furrows in concentration. “Oh my god. I did, didn’t I?” She shifts her weight from side to side and he’s pretty certain he hears her mutter another curse word under her breath. She looks up and locks eyes with him. For a moment all he can think is wow, green, but she starts talking again. “Look, Henry and I had a really great day at my sister’s house but then I got this message from my ex, Henry’s dad, and to be honest it sent me into a bit of a tailspin. So then I go grab my laundry and there you are with a very peculiar pair of underwear and all I could think was ‘not today, asshole’ and then — well, you were there. I’m sorry.”
“You’re forgiven, Emma.” Then it’s his turn to frown, gesturing towards the direction Henry walked as he leans against his doorway. “How did you know who I am?”
“Oh, I mentioned what happened to Henry and he asked me to describe the neighbor.”
“Smart kid.”
“Yeah.” She fidgets again, kind of shaking the tension out of her hands as she rocks back on her heels. “Well, I…that’s all, I wanted to say, so…”
“Nice to meet you, Emma. And Happy Thanksgiving.” She backs away from the door giving him a perfunctory little wave. For some reason, after he closes and locks the door, he finds himself looking through the peephole to watch Emma’s retreat. She lingers outside the door for a second before smacking her forehead with the heel of her hand and then does an entirely unbecoming and yet endearing full body shake and flail, tossing her head back and groaning. She appears to catch herself, and Killian watches as she looks to his door. Her eyes close in resignation. “You saw that didn’t you?”
“Every single second.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Killian.”
Christmas Eve
Or, the holiday where Killian almost freezes
It’s a working theory of hers, but Emma is willing to argue with anyone who cares that Christmas Eve is far superior to Christmas. The whole day is filled with baking, and listening to Christmas music, and lighting every baked good themed candle she owns. Plus! she doesn’t have to wake up to an overeager eight year old shaking her at dawn. It’s wonderful.
As she stores the vacuum in the hall closet (one last round of pre-festivity cleaning), her phone vibrates. She pulls it out of her pocket, smiling when she sees it’s a text from Killian.
Texts from Killian: another thing that is wonderful these days, if not unexpected.
11:12 AM - Killian to Emma
My oven is on the fritz. Can I use yours for a bit?
11:13 AM - Emma to Killian
Define ‘a bit’…
11:14 AM - Killian to Emma
Ok. Less ‘a bit’ and more ‘a while.’
11:15 AM - Killian to Emma
And by 'a while' I mean the rest of the day.
Emma snorts at that one.
11:17 AM - Emma to Killian
It’s all yours.
Though, I thought your fruit cake would be in door stop mode by now?
11:19 AM - Killian to Emma
For the last time, woman, it’s not a bloody fruit cake.
When Killian proudly told her and Henry over Saturday morning pancakes he was preparing a classic Christmas cake for their Christmas Eve celebration, and then proceeded to explain the weeks long process behind making the cake, Henry frowned. “I think that’s a fruit cake.”
Which was the first, but certainly not the last time, Killian insisted: “It certainly is not!” And then Killian proceeded to explain, again, what a Christmas cake was.
From Killian’s explanation of how to prepare it, though, there shouldn’t be any baking required today. Which begs the question as to exactly what Killian is doing. As the host of the event, Emma is only responsible for appetizers (thank you Trader Joe’s), and booze with the rest of the guests bringing the meal.
A meal which apparently includes a British man she met a month ago, bringing a fruit cake to the Christmas Eve celebration with her family and closest friends. What is her life?
Dare she say it, life is pretty great these days. And Killian is definitely part of why that is.
After their ignominious beginning, she and Killian found themselves bumping into one another constantly. If they didn’t cross paths in the mail room, hallway, or elevator, it was Henry - her kid who would find a way to make friends with a paper bag if given the opportunity - who started inviting Killian to join them everywhere. While on their way to the movies it was a “hey, Killian, wanna come?” More than a few times Henry went to check the mail as Emma cooked dinner and when he returned Killian was with him. “I told him all about your chicken and dumplings, mom!”
Somehow Killian joining them for chicken and dumplings turned into the two of them texting throughout the day — Killian in between clients at the physical therapy clinic, and Emma whenever she needed a break from real estate contracts — and then a second glass of wine once Henry went to bed. Apparently, unbeknownst to Emma, this was all leading to Killian celebrating Christmas Eve with her family and friends. Oh, and coming over the next day for Christmas morning pancakes.
Despite what her sister and brother-in-law would like people to believe, Killian is only spending the holidays with them because his brother left for his in-laws earlier in the week and Henry didn’t want him to spend the holiday alone. That’s it! If it was more than that, would she be okay with Killian coming over while she was in her cleaning clothes? Obviously not. So, suck it universe.
Killian shows up ten minutes later looking fine and not at all biteable in a truly horrendous Christmas sweater that no one has a right to look as…completely adequate…in as he does. His arms are laden with grocery bags.
“All this for a fruitcake?”
“Christmas cake. And no. That has been done for some time, as you well know. I told Mary-Margaret I’d make Yorkshire puddings to go with the prime rib. And Liam would disown me if I didn’t make mince pies.”
“How British of you.”
“Well, I am British.”
“You know what I mean.” Emma grabs him an apron so he doesn’t mess up his Christmas sweater and as he makes himself at home, she buzzes around getting the apartment ready - pulling the folding chairs and table out of the closet, making sure Henry has enough clean clothes to wear for dinner, etc. Henry spends the day floating in and out of the kitchen to bug Killian. He plays his video games for a little bit and then is back to the kitchen and gets annoyed because there’s not enough room for him to make a sandwich. He is only appeased when Killian reveals he brought over leftover Chinese.
“Why did you bring so much extra food?” she asks, ignoring Killian’s disapproving stare as she bites into a cold eggroll. She’s pretty sure he also brought over a gallon of milk and what looks like leftover roasted vegetables. Weird.
“Do you know what the two of you are like when you’re not fed?” Killian shudders in horror, and Emma smacks him in the back of the head. She also pinches mince pie filling to be a brat.
When she comes out in her loungewear, after having showered, there is the most wonderful smell of cinnamon in the air. Before she even asks Killian hands her a mug of mulled wine. How did she even get this and what does she have to do to keep it forever? Emma freezes at the thought. By this she means his friendship. Obviously.
Once Mary-Margaret and David, then Ruby and Mulan arrive, the evening, dare she even thinks it, is borderline perfect. Continuing the British Christmas theme, Killian brought Christmas crackers from World Market. Henry got so excited at the hat and little joke in his that he hug bombed Killian and the poor man spilled his hot chocolate down the front of his sweater. Henry apologizes profusely, but Killian assures him it’s okay, losing the sweater for just a black tee underneath. Which, again, is fine and makes Killian look fine and Emma really needs the commentary in her head to quiet down.
“Hate to see a Christmas casualty,” David muses as Killian tosses the sweater aside.
“True, but good things tend to happen to me when I do laundry on a holiday,” he replies.
And Mary-Margaret gets this wide knowing grin, which Emma does not care for at all, but her heart is currently beating fast enough that she lets it pass.
The high-point of the night might be when Mary-Margaret serves slices of Killian’s Christmas cake alongside her caramel apple pie. Ruby holds up her plate, sniffs Killian’s cake, and with a perfectly cocked eyebrow simply asks “Fruit cake?” Henry almost falls out of his chair laughing.
Mulan and Ruby are the first to leave, needing to get to Granny’s where they’re staying the night. Killian offers to stay and help clean up but Emma refuses. The man spent all day cooking in her kitchen – she’s not going to make him clean, too. But when Henry hugs him goodnight and tells him they’ll see him for pancakes, Emma has to admit she’s a little sad to see him shuffle down the hallway back to his own apartment.
Henry proceeds to line up his mom, his aunt, and his uncle, debating as to who deserves to read to him that night. David wins the privilege outright when, upon Henry asking each of them to share their Percy Jackson voice, he actually recites from memory an excerpt from the book Henry is currently reading. Fucking show-off.
Mary-Margaret doesn’t even wait for them to leave the kitchen before she looks at Emma like she must say something or she’ll burst. As Emma is want to do, she ignores it. No wonder David lobbied so hard to get the bedtime story invitation. The two were in cahoots. As they do dishes, Mary-Margaret keeps dropping conversational breadcrumbs =, waiting for Emma to take one up. Which Emma steadfastly fails to do. So Mary-Margaret stops being subtle.
“So, Killian was here all day, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Huh,” Mary-Margaret says, drying a wine glass and setting it aside. “Interesting.”
“Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“You know what you’re doing.”
“Do I?”
“God, you’re annoying,” Emma says, smacking her shoulder with the back of her hand.
Mary-Maragret frowns and does it right back. “I like Killian.”
“He’ll be thrilled to hear it.”
“And I think you like Killian, too.”
Emma glares at her. “Well, he’s my friend.”
“Who you very much would like to be a naked friend.”
“Mary-Margaret!”
“What?”
She steals the towel away from Mary-Margaret and snaps her with it. “Can we be done with this conversation?”
“No. Because I have something important to say to you.” Emma groans and Mary-Margaret takes a step forward, placing a hand on either side of Emma’s face. “I know you think you’ve got this bruised and battered heart. But that’s not true, Emma. You have the most open heart of anyone I’ve ever known. And I don’t know how you do it, but as someone you let see that big beautiful heart, I just need you to know how lucky I am to have you in my life. Anyone would be so lucky to have you. So be brave.”
Emma feels her eyes go glassy and seriously! Mary-Margaret has been in her life for more than twenty-years. How does she always do this to her? She reaches forward and hugs Mary-Margaret tight, blinking the tears back.
“I love you,” Mary-Margaret says.
“Shut up.” Emma holds her even tighter. “I love you, too.”
After Mary-Margaret and David leave she gives Henry a final tuck into bed then takes a moment to look around the apartment. The space feels emptier than when the day started. It must be the come down from an almost perfect night. Right? Not like she’s feeling morose because there’s a person down the hall who she very much wishes was still currently in her apartment. Someone to perhaps share leftover pie and a glass of wine with. That would be absurd. It’s just that the whole night felt a little magic, and now it’s over.
Emma blows out the living room candles and that’s when she sees it — Killian’s ugly Christmas sweater draped over the back of the couch. Which Emma immediately decides she should return to Killian. It’s urgent. That sweater could mean a lot to him. Or, something.
She locks up the apartment door and heads to Killian’s. Knocking on the door triggers a feeling of panic and she’s tempted to drop the sweater and run. But then he opens the door and his already bright eyes somehow get brighter. This was the right decision.
“Emma! What are you —”
“You forgot your sweater.”
“Thanks, love.”
She immediately notices that his apartment is very dark. Was he already getting ready for bed? This early? She stands up on her tiptoes to peek, and his smile falls. Killian wedges himself into the doorframe, closing the door behind him and obstructing her view. Emma narrows her eyes.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
“Do you have someone over?”
“No. I’m just —”
“Why are all your lights off?”
“Being energy efficient. Climate change.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
“Huh. Fine, then. You should probably stain treat this,” she says, and hands him the sweater.
“Thank you.” He reaches for it and the moment he does Emma pushes him aside to crash into his apartment. All the lights are off. He's lit a few candles, and oh fuck. Does he have someone over?
“Killian, your lights are off.”
“What do you call those?” he asks, pointing to the three-wick sugar cookie candle Mary-Margaret got him.
“Killian.” It’s a tone that usually convinces Henry he in fact does need to wear socks with his shoes but simply causes Killian to smirk at her.
“Maybe I want to romance myself, Swan.”
“Gross. All your lights are off," she repeats. "Even the light on your microwave.”
He looks like he wants to protest but must sense she is in a particularly stubborn mood because he stops himself. If she weren’t trying to get him to fess up Emma would take a moment to gloat that the look always works.
“I was working on a project this afternoon and think I crossed some wires,” he says, running a hand through his hair in, she presumes, some mild embarrassment.
“More than your oven is on the fritz," she realizes, making sense of why there is currently milk in her fridge. "Isn’t it?”
“Seems that way.”
“Well did you —?”
“Aye, I tried, but it didn’t work, and with the holiday the electrician isn’t able to come until Thursday..”
“Well, why not call —?”
“How do you think Leroy is going to feel about me doing an undisclosed wiring project and killing the —?”
“—yeah, I get it. Look, I need to get back to Henry, but pack a bag and I’ll see you soon.”
“Do what now?”
“It’s going to be 12 degrees tonight, Killian. You are not staying in this apartment without power.”
Emma watches as he mulls over her words, considering whether or not he should abide by them. “I could sleep on your couch and then away to my flat in the morning.”
She shrugs. “Or, you could pack a bag.” A little voice inside her head, the one that sounds suspiciously like Mary-Margaret is cheering her on. Telling her to press a little more. That it’s worth it. “Come on, Killian. You can’t freeze to death on Christmas Eve. Imagine how that would play on the evening news.”
He laughs, shaking his head in that way he does. If she isn’t mistaken, it's tinged with a little more affectionate every time. “Depressingly, I imagine.” He breaks eye contact long enough to look down at his slippered feet. For all the times he’s made her blush in their month of friendship, it is ridiculously rewarding to see the tinge of red on his cheeks as he looks up at her. “I’d love to join you and Henry for Christmas.”
Emma dashes home and checks on Henry. He is, predictably, still fast asleep in that way he most frequently is — legs akimbo and sticking out of the blankets like he’s preparing to start running the moment he wakes up.
As she waits for Killian she changes into her pajamas and makes two hot chocolates, adding an extra large dollop of leftover whipped cream to the top pf each.
Killian’s knock is borderline inaudible and it makes her smile, how she knows he’s being careful for Henry’s sake. She takes his bag and invites him to get comfortable on the couch — “it will soon be your bed, after all” — and, as has become the habit, they face each other as they sit there. There’s a lot she loves about their friendship, but high on the list is the way their conversations always start in the middle rather than at the start. She loathes small talk.
“Your family and friends are lovely, Swan.”
“Eh,” she says, scrunching her nose in consideration, “they’re alright.”
“You and your sister appear rather close in age.”
She nods. “We’re only a year and a half apart.” Killian smiles, like he is happy to accept that as a complete answer if she so chooses. And maybe it’s that she’s listening to her sister, or maybe it’s Christmas, or maybe it’s that Killian faintly smells of his sugar cookie candle, but she takes a deep breath and sets her mug on the coffee table. “I’m adopted, actually.”
He hesitates, uncertain. “Emma, I didn’t mean to —” She doesn't want him to be uncertain.
“I was with a family for three years and they couldn’t keep me. I was so young that my social worker really didn’t want to put me in a group home, so they opted for short-term care while they searched for a permanent solution. But at the end of the two weeks, when they got ready to move me to a new home, Mary-Margaret had an utter fit. Refused to let anyone near me when she found out they wanted to take me away. And then she grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into her room, barricaded the door, and we hid under her bed. She was five.”
“You remember all that?”
“I remember her grabbing my hand and us hiding. Mary-Margaret remembers some and my parents filled in the rest.”
“So after that?”
“They decided to adopt me.”
“That’s quite the story.” Killian gently places his mug beside hers and he inches closer. His hand hovers over hers for only a moment before he settles, giving her fingers a little squeeze. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“Please don’t let this go to your head,” she says, and rotates her palm to squeeze his hand right back, “but you’re really easy to talk to.”
“Well, don’t let this go to your head, but I can see why Mary-Margaret did what she did.”
There’s a teeny part of her that doesn’t want to inquire further, but she blames her damn sister and her damn hope speeches for asking, “And why is that?”
“Because I think you’re the type of person it would be impossible to say goodbye to.”
Emma doesn’t know about that — a whole host of boyfriends might say otherwise — but she believes he believes it. Sitting across from him on the couch, his lack of electricity, and the two of them in their pajamas, Emma feels almost a glimmer of magic come back into the room.
Christmas
Or, the holiday where Emma almost accidentally murders Killian
Killian wakes up to the sound of giggling and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The gas fireplace is already switched on, as are the Christmas lights, and he’ll have to ask Emma later how she managed to prevent Henry from crashing into the tree in his excitement to get at his presents.
“I’m going to set the table, so go ahead and gently wake Killian —” And that should prepare him, but he doesn’t hear the rest of Emma’s prompt as a hurling mass of eight year old runs into the living room and jumps on top of him. “Oof,” Killian groans. “Merry Christmas, Sir Henry.”
Henry leans his face down and grins. “Merry Christmas, Killian.”
“Henry, I said gentle!”
“Yeah, but you kinda winked when you said it.”
Killian manages to sit up just enough to watch Emma try and deny that she did in fact encourage the barbarism of her child. He raises an eyebrow in question and she responds in the first true “harumph” he’s ever heard in real life.
“Breakfast is ready,” she says.
Killian sits at the table and apparently the Swans take their Christmas breakfast seriously. Fresh fruit, and coffee and — shit, he forgot to mention something, didn't he? he thought she knew?— breakfast burritos smothered in avocado and tomatillo salsa.
“So, what’s the plan for the day” Killian asks, and then takes a sip of his coffee. Emma passes him the bowl of fruit, and — of fucking course — there’s bananas in it. He pours a little on his plate and hopes he can get away with just coffee for breakfast.
Henry explains that they always eat breakfast first because his mom thinks delayed gratification is good for him — “I stand by that,” Emma says — and then he and his mom exchange presents, and then they play boardgames, and then have Christmas Eve lunch leftovers, and then they go to a movie and have popcorn and milk duds for dinner.
“Milk duds play what part in delayed gratification?” Killian asks, pushing his plate, he hopes discretely, aside.
“I’m not a monster,” she says.
“Why aren’t you eating your burrito? Aren’t you hungry?” Henry asks.
“I’m not a big breakfast person.” At that precise moment, Killian’s stomach growls louder than it’s every growled before. Liar, it seems to proclaim. He sighs. “I’m actually allergic.”
“You are?” Emma asks. If her wide eyes are anything to go by, she is horrified.
“To burritos? That sucks,” Henry says.
“No, not to burritos, but the avocado on top.”
“No you’re not.”
He laughs, because of course Emma would argue with him about his food allergies. “I assure you I am.”
“But when we got lunch last week, you ordered that sandwich with avocado on it.”
He doesn’t think he should be as flattered as he is that Emma remembers that. “I took that one to go. For Liam.”
“But…but…” and then she drops her fork to her plate and covers her mouth with her palm. “Oh my god I could have killed you!”
“Emma…”
“I almost murdered you on Christmas.”
“I can assure you…”
“That I almost murdered you? Because, yeah, figured that one out.”
“It’s not nice to murder people, mom,” Henry helpfully comments then reaches for Killian’s plate. “Can I have this?”
“It’s all yours.”
“What else are you allergic to?” Emma asks.
“Nothing.” She doesn’t seem to believe him as she sits with her arms across her chest, challenging him. “Seriously. Just the avocados.” And then quietly adds, “And kiwis and bananas.”
“So the fruit is also poison,” she says. “Anything else?”
“Latex.” The instant he says the word he regrets it. It’s true, completely, but with the way Emma is looking at him it feels a little…inappropriate to say.
“Latex,” she repeats. She doesn’t break eye contact as she takes a sip of coffee and sets her mug aside. “Interesting.”
“Why is that interesting?” Henry asks.
Emma maintains eye contact, but her cheeks go a little rosy. "Well, um, see the thing is…" she trails off.
Killian cuts in. “Because when I go to the doctor, sometimes the doctor or nurses wear gloves with latex in them.”
“That’s not interesting,” Henry says.
Emma makes him an omelette and then proceeds to apologize all morning. After they open presents (Killian will remember the look of delight on Henry’s face for all his days), she also makes a quick batch of chocolate chip muffins and insists he eat several. The rest of the day unfolds just how Henry said it would. Except Henry didn’t mention he’d only make it two-thirds of the way through the movie before falling asleep on his mom’s shoulder, curled up in the seat. As he snoozes he kicks his feet out into Killian’s lap and Emma rolls her eyes and helps herself to the rest of Henry’s popcorn.
“No personal space boundaries,” she whispers.
When they make it back to Emma’s, Henry wakes up just enough to shuffle to his room. And much like the night before, they find themselves on Emma’s couch talking over the day when she reveals she has a present for him.
“We said we weren’t buying presents, Emma.” He completely bought her a present but was planning to bend the rules by giving it to her on New Year’s Day. Surely New Year's Day presents are a thing somewhere. Right?
“It’s just a little something,” she says.
As Killian opens the gift he registers the novelty print first, and he is almost certain he knows what she got him. It’s three pairs of underwear in rather absurd prints and patterns. The same exact brand and style she tried to steal from him on Thanksgiving.
She grins as he laughs tossing the paper aside. “Did you know you can get them personalized?”
“Excuse me?” he asks.
She takes one of the pairs out of his hands and shows him the inner waistband. There it declares in embroidered thread "Property of Killian Jones."
“Just in case someone else tries to steal your underwear.”
“Nonsense, Swan. That’s our thing.”
The silence stretches between them as Emma rests her head on the back of the couch, her face turned towards him. Over the course of the night they’ve moved close enough to one another that their knees are touching. How did that happen?
“Killian, I want to tell you something.”
He swallows. “You can tell me anything you want, Emma.”
“I —” she begins, and then cuts herself off. “I —” she begins again before stopping, letting out a frustrated groan. She offers him a tentative smile. “I want to thank you for doing everything you did for us today. It meant a lot to Henry.” She pauses, and it looks like she's going to say more, but she simply adds, “And to me.”
“Of course, love.”
“And I’m sorry for almost killing you.”
“I fully intend to use your guilt to my advantage in our relationship for years to come.”
She smiles. “The electrician is coming tomorrow?”
“He said he’d arrive somewhere between 7am and 3pm.”
“Nice he could narrow it down for you.” She looks away and fiddles with the hem of her sweatshirt. “Do you want to stay here again tonight?”
“Aye,” he says. “If you'll have me.”
"I'll have you," she whispers, her lips tinged with a smile.
And he knows he shouldn’t be disappointed. Staying the night on her couch is wonderful and generous and it means another day of getting to wake up with the Swans. But there was a little part of him that thought she was going to say — he’s not entirely sure what. Strangely enough it’s the feeling of disappointment that confirms for him a long held suspicion of his. That with Emma the more she gives him, the more he wants. Every smile she gives makes him want 1,000 more. Every story she shares makes him want to share 1,000 of his own. He’d do anything for her to know he understands her. And he’d never intentionally hurt her. And that this Christmas was one of the best of his life, and is there any way she’d be willing to give him her New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day, and perhaps Flag Day, too?
Boxing Day
Or, the holiday where Emma breaks herself
For as relatively calm and almost perfect as Christmas was, the day after is completely different.
Henry comes running into Emma's room at 8:00 AM insisting they don’t have enough batteries. When she calmly reminds him about the extra supply in the hall closet, he runs off without a thank you. A little later she’s pouring herself coffee and Henry runs into the kitchen, grabs the poptart package out of her hand and runs out again. “I’m putting together my legos!” he shouts.
“We are leaving in one hour, Henry.” Silence answers her from his bedroom. “That means shoes, scarf, coat and gloves.” More silence. “Henry!”
“Got it mom! One hour!” Door slam.
She squeezes her eyes shut, feeling the beginnings of a headache. Killian barely stifles a laugh as he watches the sequence of events from the coach.
“How much for you to take him off my hands for the next two to three years?” she asks, trying to ignore how cute he looks waking up in her apartment, sleep rumpled with hair sticking up every which way.
“You want me to bring him back as a pre-teen?”
“Good point. What about one of those boarding schools in Switzerland rich step-mothers always want to send their kids to? You know those ones in movies with the Olsen twins?”
“You’re truly trying to cast yourself as the stepmother in this situation?”
“Shut up and come get your coffee.”
She can see why Killian and Henry get along so well. Much like her son, Killian can’t simply stand up and walk into the kitchen. No. He bounds off the couch — she has no doubt he was tempted to hurdle it simply to prove he could — and then swaggers towards her. Does he always lead with his pelvis? God, why is she thinking about his pelvis? Once he’s in front of her, his mess of hair appears even more riotous and her fingers actually twitch with the urge to smooth it down. Instead she hands him a cup of coffee and picks hers up again. If her hands are busy maybe she’ll keep them to herself. And why did she think having him sleepover again was a good idea? What was she thinking?
Well, to be honest, she knew what she was thinking originally. But then late last night he shared why it is that Christmas is usually a hard season for him — a reminder of losing his mom as a child and his fiancé just two years ago — and all she could think about was how lucky she was to have walked into their laundry room that night.
Killian is a big one for eye contact — she knew that the day they met in the laundry room and it’s been confirmed a million times since — and it has a very squirm inducing impact on her insides. His heavy lidded eyes make everything twist up, and flutter, and race in a way that is almost painful. But like a good kind of painful.
“What’s your plan for today?” she asks.
He shrugs. “Betray your kindness for a bit longer and wait for the electrician to arrive. Yours?”
“Henry is going ice skating with a few of his friends. I’m going to go for a run after I walk him to Avery’s, but no plans after that.” She clears her throat as her pesky thoughts urge her to ask him to spend the day together. Naked, a part of her brain unhelpfully suggests.
“You’re going to walk in this weather? And then run in this weather?”
“I snagged a parking spot right in front and Avery’s family only lives a few blocks away. There is no way I am sacrificing my parking spot.” She turns away from Killian to top up her coffee. “And running is good for me. Helps me make sense of my thoughts when they’re all muddled.”
“What is making your thoughts muddled?” he asks.
She freezes for a second, the question taking her by surprise, and then turns around slowly. And holy fuck why do his eyes have to be so focused on her and so damn blue?! It’s oppressive, his eye color. “I didn’t say —”
“You kind of implied.”
“I did not.”
“You did.”
She bites her lip to stifle a laugh, shaking her head. “You know it’s moments like these that remind me you’re the baby brother.”
He laughs, nodding his head in concession. “True. But in this case my persistence is motivated by my own selfish curiosity."
“What makes you curious?”
“I’m curious about all sorts of things. But I have to admit that my thoughts have also been rather muddled these days.” ” He taps his lips, thinking, and that is not fair. “For instance, I’m curious about what you wanted to say to me last night. Before you stopped yourself from continuing.”
How did he —?
“I’m curious about why you’re taking such shallow breaths right now,” he continues, sidling closer to her.
“They’re not —”
“But really, Emma, I find myself wondering if you would be interested in knowing what has my thoughts muddled these days?” He moves even closer as he reaches behind her to set his mug on the counter-top.
She takes a shaky breath. “I might be.”
“Then ask me.”
Okay. So, last night she chickened out. Sitting on the couch with Killian — the fire going, and Henry asleep, and Killian sharing his life with her — Emma had every intention of doing herself, and Mary-Margaret, and every human being who finds men attractive proud by telling Killian that she thinks about kissing him. Thinks about it a lot. So, she's smart enough to see this moment for what it is: a second chance. Another opportunity to get it right. Because Killian wouldn’t be leading her like this simply to reveal his thoughts were muddled with — fuck, she doesn’t know — whether or not he should finally bump Russian Doll to the top of his Netflix queue.
(He should, by the way, but that isn’t the point. The point is, he’s trying to lead her somewhere and she has to decide if she’s going to follow.)
She sets her mug down and takes a deep breath. “Tell me?” She doesn't mean for it to come out like a question.
“Emma,” he says, leaning in and resting a hand on her hip. “It’s you.”
Now, here’s the thing. Nothing in Emma’s life has ever resembled the plot of a romantic comedy. Every time she let herself think — secretly and only in her head and only like three times — “maybe this is my big romance!” it crashes and burns and turns out the guy only looked at her with stars in his eyes because she kinda reminded him of his ex. Until she met Killian. Because no sooner does he whisper the words “it’s you” — and holy shit that is some Mr. Darcy level stuff — her son comes crashing into the room, dressed for ice skating and holding his jacket. Then he’s tugging on Killian’s sleeve and telling him he has to play Smash Brothers with him because he’s been practicing and he’s finally going to beat him but he’s only got fifteen minutes left to prove it.
Killian looks at her, a little helplessly as Henry drags him away. She smiles to reassure him it’s okay. They’ll get to talk soon. Right? At least that’s what she keeps telling herself as she gets into her running clothes and laces her sneakers.
“Henry,” she says, walking out of her room. “Time to go kiddo. I told Avery’s mom we’d be there in 10 minutes.” Henry must be losing to Killian. It’s the only explanation for why he so readily sets the controller aside.
“See ya later, Killian,” he says, and tackle side hugs Killian before sprinting for the door.
Emma grabs him by the hood of his jacket and pulls him back before he can bolt for the door. “Henry. Gloves.” She gestures to the coffee table where they’re waiting for him.
“Oh, right.”
As they walk out of the building, Emma is trying so hard to listen to Henry’s enthusiastic play by play of the game he just played with Killian but all she can think of is the fact that Killian is in her apartment. Waiting there for the electrician (and her?). Sitting there on her couch. Unless the electrician arrives while she’s on her run he’ll be there when she returns. What is she going to say? How do they even pickup that conversation?
It’s this state of distraction that she blames for missing the patch of ice on the sidewalk outside their apartment. She slips and lands hard not even certain of what happened.
“Mom!” Henry shouts, immediately at her side.
“I’m okay, sweetie,” she grits out, trying to catch her breath. “I just slipped.” Except for when Henry tries to help her up her knee buckles and pain shoots up her leg. Shit. She sits on the sidewalk and takes a deep breath, not wanting to scare Henry.
“Mom, are you okay?”
“Can you do me a favor, bud?” She pulls out her phone, scrolling through the contacts. “Talk to Killian and ask him to come down, okay?” Maybe she should be the one to call but she kind of feels like crying and needs a second to gather herself. To focus on not bursting into tears from shock and pain.
After Henry hangs up — “Killian come quick! Mom fell!” — Emma steels herself and calls Avery’s mom to explains what happened. Thankfully she tells Emma they’ll just swing by and pick Henry up, no problem.
Killian comes running outside, not even wearing a jacket the idiot, as she hangs up with Avery’s mom. Emma has to stop him from picking her up and bringing her inside immediately.
Her whole body shivers; the sidewalk absolutely icy and freezing. “We need to wait with Henry,” she tells him.
Once Henry leaves, Emma reassuring everyone she’ll be just fine, Killian helps her up. He wraps her arm around his shoulder and she leans into him as he takes her weight and walks her inside. It’s amazing how being in pain can zap all sexual tension from an encounter because Emma isn’t thinking about Killian with his hand on her hip in the kitchen. Not at all. All she's thinking about is how nice he is, and how thankful she was that he was there to help and, okay, fine, maybe being in pain can only zap 80% of the sexual tension. Still. That’s a lot less sexual tension.
Once back in her apartment Killian settles her in the armchair and props her leg up on the ottoman. He buzzes around, bringing her water and ibuprofen, and then asks to see her ankle. She supposes this is kind of his area, so she nods and does her best to hold in a wince as he removes her shoe and sock. He moves her ankle gently from side to side and she braces herself for the pain but it actually isn’t that bad. Until he presses on a spot at the top of her foot and —
“Holy shit that hurts!,” she exclaims.
“Good news is it’s not broken.”
“Feels broken to me.”
“Probably just a really bad sprain but I can take you to get an x-ray if you want.”
“Or?”
“Or I collect some supplies from my apartment and I’ll wrap it myself.”
“That option is free?” she asks. Killian nods. “I choose that.”
“Keep this elevated.” Before he leaves for his apartment, he notices her struggle to get her other shoe off. He sighs affectionately, unlacing her shoe and setting it aside. Without asking he reaches for a blanket on the sofa, one he used the night before, and lays it over her lap. “Back in five minutes.”
The moment the door closes behind Killian tears spring to the corner of her eyes. Yes, Emma’s in pain, the ibuprofen not quite kicking in yet as she feels her ankle throb. And, yes, her butt is a little cold, but that doesn’t really explain why she starts to cry. These past couple of days have just been a lot. In a really great way, but it’s still a lot.
The tears must be something Killian notices when he gets back because in a flash he crouches in front of her, resting a hand on her uninjured ankle. “Hey now, what’s this?”
She shakes her head, not really sure how to explain. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
His raised eyebrow and tightly drawn mouth indicate he doesn’t believe her, but as she dabs her eyes with her sleeve, he takes to unpacking the supplies he brought over. The truth is that it’s not nothing; more like it's everything. It’s that his apartment is down the hall and when she demanded he come stay with her and Henry he could have refused, or used his spare key to stay at his brother’s, but he didn’t. And that while she has yet to hear an explanation concerning his “it’s you” statement, she has a feeling it’s something good. It’s everything to her — the ways both big and small he chooses her and Henry. And it’s only been five-weeks but she wants more. She want more weeks.
He wraps her ankle up then fits her to the pair of crutches he brought over. As he helps her stand, she stumbles and accidentally puts pressure on her ankle. She hisses at the sudden pain, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Careful, Emma,” he says, running a hand up and down her back in comfort. She looks up at him; his eyes are all soft and concerned. “You okay?”
It’s you, too, she wants to say. I don’t know how or why, or even what it means, but it’s you. She nods. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
New Year’s Eve
Or, the holiday where Killian meets the ex
“So tell me about this party, Sir Henry.”
Killian’s noticed that when Henry has a lot to say, he has a habit of taking a deep breath and then clenching his fists at his side. It's like Henry’s little body is bracing itself for an onslaught of enthusiasm. “Well,” Henry says, fists clenched, “Aunt Mary-Margaret and Uncle David have this big farmhouse that is so cool and my friend Roland and his dad, and my other friend Violet and her dad, and my other friend Gideon and his mom, are all coming over too and we’re having a big party. And then after we eat so much food, we’re going to play sardines inside with all the lights off, and then after that we’re having a campfire out back, and then after that…”
Killian does his best to listen — really, he does — Henry’s enthusiasm is genuinely delightful so it isn’t hard to be interested. Usually. It’s just that as Henry is talking Emma walks out of her room dressed for the evening in a tight black dress and he kind of loses his head a bit. Actually finds himself staring at her, which he only realizes when she catches his gaze and smiles.
“Breathe, kid,” she says, breaking their stare. “Your aunt texted and said they’ll be here in five minutes. Got all your stuff?”
“Yup!”
“Go get your shoes on, then.” Henry runs off and Killian watches as Emma inspects Henry’s pile of belongings, confirming to her own satisfaction that Henry won’t be without a change of clothes or toothbrush.
“This party sounds fun, Swan. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather spend time with your friends and boy there?”
“Nope. We’re going to Ruby and Mulan’s, and we’re dancing until at least 1:00 AM because that’s when they bring out the dancing snacks.”
“Dancing snacks?”
“Donuts and coffee for the drive home. It’s the best.” He’s about to point out that there exists these wonderful things called donut shops that allows one to purchase a donut and coffee at a time that is not 1:00 AM, but her phone rings.
Emma halts her process of shutting off lights in the kitchen to answer.
“Hey Rubes.” As Ruby talks, Emma refreshes her lipstick in the hallway mirror. She pauses the action, groaning in aggravation at something Ruby says. “Seriously?! Can’t you be total dicks and tell them to leave? Since when? Fine! Be good people! Yeah, we’ll be there in about thirty.”
Emma hangs up and Killian tries not to laugh at Emma’s quietly muttered, “Well, shit.” She told him a few weeks ago her resolve to never swear in front of Henry gets a little weaker with each passing year.
“What was that, love?”
“Apparently the sister of one of Ruby’s co-workers invited herself to the party — much to everyone’s annoyance because Zelena is apparently awful — and then proceeded to be even more awful by bringing along her new boyfriend who, pause for dramatic effect, happens to be my ex.”
“No.”
“Yes,” she says, finishing her lipstick and dropping the tube into her purse. “And Walsh being Walsh, he’s too much of a —” Emma trails off, her eyes darting down the hallway to see if Henry is coming — “fucking narcissistic dickhole to leave once he realized whose house he was at. I know he’s only staying to drink booze and leer at me when I show up alone. Sure, he’s the one who got drunk one night and cheated on me, but I’m the one who is going to have to deal with him.”
“But you’re not showing up alone.”
“Yeah, but you’re my friend date. Not my date date.”
Killian’s heart clenches a little at that entirely accurate explanation.
Hard to believe it was only five days prior that he and Emma were seemingly on the emotional precipice of — well, something. He’s not entirely sure what, because first Henry interrupted their conversation, then Emma sprained her ankle, and then, as he was in the midst of applying his physical therapy degree in perhaps the most important context of his entire life, the electrician called to say he arrived. The man spent several hours trying to undo what Killian did, and then Emma called and asked him to pick up Thai takeout for a late lunch, and before he knew it, Henry was back from ice skating, and Emma was asleep on the couch with a bowl of Phad Thai balanced on her chest.
So, her assessment is correct. Right now they are friends and this is not a date date. Though he wishes it was, and he is certain all it would take is an uninterrupted moment for him and Emma to find that bit of magic again. He’s also convinced that Emma in her dress — black, and short, and lacy, with long sleeves and a neckline that is both wonderful and tempting — is a bit of magic in and of itself.
David texts Emma that they’ve arrived, and Emma and Henry both get bundled up to meet them outside. Killian grabs Henry’s piles of belongings and they’re out the door.
Emma has this whole theory that with surge pricing likely in effect all night, it would be wildly irresponsible to take an Uber to and from Ruby and Mulan’s house. Killian vetoes her theory with his medical opinion that as her PT, it would be wildly irresponsible to allow someone who sprained their ankle a week ago to walk a mile in high heeled boots. She scowls but he requests the Uber anyway. Fuck, he must be far gone because even her scowl is starting to feel like a kind of magic.
As the night goes on, Killian discovers that the problem isn’t if he should confess his feelings but rather what feeling he should confess to first. He watches Emma run in and hug Ruby and Mulan and thinks “I should confess how her smile makes everything better.” When he discovers one of his co-workers is also at the party, apparently a regular at the diner Ruby owns, Emma is kind, and warm, and eager to get to know the man, and Killian thinks “I should confess that my days don’t quite feel real until I am able to talk them over with her.” And then there’s the confession he’s been concealing for well over a month: that he wants to kiss Emma, and he wants to kiss her a lot.
Turns out Emma has a confession of her own to make. Well, not so much a confession as a bald-faced lie.
Killian and Emma are in the middle of a rather heated debate with a couple they’ve just met about the best claymation Christmas movie when a supercilious voice interrupts their conversation, seemingly not caring about a lack of courtesy.
“Isn’t this a festive coincidence? Us being at the same party?” Emma clenches her jaw at the voice and plasters on the brightest smile he thinks he’s ever seen. It screams false, false, false. She turns around to greet the man.
“Walsh,” she says, and then extends her hand to the woman who must be Zelana. “I’m Emma.”
“Oh, I’m aware,” she responds, ignoring the hand. Zelena looks at Walsh, the two of them laughing at some shared joke.
“Seriously, Ems, what are the odds?” he asks.
“Well, seeing as Ruby and Mulan are my friends, the chances of me being here were pretty high. I don’t even know how to calculate the odds of you showing up. Nor do I really care to,” she shrugs.
Killian chuckles at that, bumping Emma with his hip in what he hopes is a dual gesture of both affection and camaraderie. I’m here for you, he wants the gesture to mean. It also has the effect of catching the attention of both Walsh and Zelena.
“Emma,” Walsh says condescendingly. “You didn’t introduce us to your friend.” The emphasis on the word friend is mocking. Like, “look at me with my girlfriend, and here you are with just your regular old friend.” Killian hates this guy.
But, because he likes to think himself a gentleman, he extends a hand in greeting. “Killian Jones,” he says. “Emma’s —”
“Fiancé,” she cuts in almost immediately. Emma wraps her hands around his arm, snuggling into his side. “This is my fiancé.”
“Oh,” says Walsh, glaring. Killian doubts he’s jealous as much as he’s mad Emma’s potentially happy.
“But where is your riiiing?” Zelena simpers. Killian didn’t know the word ‘ring’ had quite that many syllables. “Could you not afford one?” He's decided he hates her, too.
“Oh,” Emma says, voice quiet. “Well —”
Fine. If they’re going to do this… “It’s at the jewelers. Being resized. It was my mum’s ring, and a little large for Emma I’m afraid.”
“Right,” Walsh frowns. “How did the two of you meet?”
“Neighbors,” Emma practically shouts. “We are neighbors. And that’s how we met.”
“Rather ordinary,” Zelena says, sounding bored.
“Well, the sex is great, so…” Emma trails off and Killian almost chokes. Her expression makes him want to laugh — she apparently took herself by surprise with that one. It’s like she can hear herself saying the words and would like to be able to stop saying them, but can’t.
He would never want Emma to think she caused him any distress. They’ll surely talk about the whole fiancé thing, but he’s been hoping all night for a magic opportunity to appear and maybe, he thinks, it’s time to make some magic of his own.
“Truth is,” he says, “I knew Emma was the one for me months before we actually met.” He looks down at her. “I know you’re sick of this story, love, but mind if I tell it once more?” She shakes her head, eyes wide and questioning, and he turns back to Zelena and Walsh. Walsh, who it must be said, looks like he’s sucked on something sour. Killian wasn't sure he'd ever confess this to Emma, but here they are.
“My first glimpse of Emma was in our apartment lobby. Henry must have been at a sleepover of some sort, because Emma was coming home at the early hours of the morning with her sister and friend, stumbling into the lobby clearly drunk and laughing. Then Emma shouted 'we should race!' and someone else said the loser had to make breakfast and no sooner did the words ‘ready’ come out of her sister’s mouth, than Emma took off her shoes and sprinted for the stairs.” He looks down at Emma and notices a rather stunned expression on her face. He hopes it's a good kind of stunned. Might as well keep going. “I think someone called her a cheater and Emma called them sore losers and she was up the staircase, and certainly to her apartment before the two of them even managed to stumble to the elevator. And I remember thinking to myself ‘this woman is amazing.’ We met officially in the laundry room a couple months later and she’s confirmed that thought every day hence.”
He feels that sizzle in the air, of hope and possibility and one of Emma’s hands leaves his arm to slide around his back, squeezing his waist gently. She turns into him further, away from Walsh and Zelena. When he looks down, she leans up and kisses him, soft and delicate on the corner of his mouth.
Walsh coughs, and Zelena says something he immediately opts to ignore. Magic.
“Killian,” she whispers.
“Yeah?”
“Emma, you have to come take shots with us!” And man, Killian likes Ruby a lot but her timing is on par with Henry’s. Ruby is wearing heels that must be at least four inches high and as she approaches their little circle, wedging herself in close to Walsh, she stumbles. It feels like it starts to happen in slow motion but then all of sudden it's over: the bright red cocktail in Ruby's hand sloshes over the edge of the glass and douses Walsh in what Killian hopes is something both sticky and impossible to get out.
“Fuck,” he shouts, pulling at the fabric of his shirt. “This is Tom Ford.”
Ruby holds her hands up and shrugs. “Oops.” She crouches down to be at eye level with the stain. “Sorry, Mr. Ford,” she says, slurring the words.
Walsh storms off and Zelena follows. They furiously grab their coats from the hook and leave, silencing the crowd with their ire. As soon as the door slams the strained silence in the room breaks, and Ruby turns to him and Emma with a big smile. “Happy New Year, guys!” Miraculously sober once more.
“Ruby,” Emma scolds, not sounding the least bit upset. “You are ridiculous!”
“Excuse you, I tripped.”
“Why didn't you 'trip' two hours ago when Walsh first showed up?”
“I could have,” Ruby says, "but it was so satisfying to watch it happen, wasn’t it?”
Emma looks like she wants to maintain her indignation, but then Killian bursts into laughter, and Ruby grins with unfiltered pride at her accomplishment.
Just as Killian is plotting as to how he and Emma can escape next — (she only kissed him about two minutes ago but it feels like it’s been a lifetime; why is it the second he manages to make a little magic the universe appears dead set upon stealing the moment from him and Emma?) — Ruby tells them “Ems, I wasn’t joking about shots. I need you.”
She looks over to Killian, her brow furrowed. “Actually, Ruby, I need to —”
“Go on, Swan,” he reassures, “I’ll be here.”
Ruby pulls Emma away, no further conversation, Mulan whooping loudly as they get closer. Was that a mistake? Or should he have followed them? What is he even doing? He has no strategy when it comes to Emma. He has no plan; only an intended end goal. Which is her in his life for as long as possible. Ideally with more kissing. Why has he been wasting all this time? He should have asked her out the second she and Henry brought him toffee almond bark.
He pours himself a glass of whiskey from the liquor cart in the living room and then escapes to the back porch, sipping on the drink, cheersing the smokers out there as they all make small talk. Ruby slides the door open a few minutes later. “Come inside future emphysemiacs of the world, the countdown is starting in one minute.”
At Ruby’s commanding tone, everyone tamps out their cigarettes or ceases vaping and moves inside. But Killian stays where he is. He’s too much of a romantic for a New Year’s Eve countdown. The strike of midnight without a kiss from Emma just might break his heart.
The door to the patio opens again, noise swelling as he hears a few people start the countdown with a loud “60! 59! 58!”
“Ruby, I’ll be right in.”
The door closes. “Not Ruby.”
At the sound of Emma’s voice, every nerve ending in his body starts firing. Heart beating wildly. Palms sweating. And he’s either halfway to being in love with this woman or he’s about to throw up.
He looks at her, and her smile is open and warm. He can’t help but smile back. “Emma.”
“Some party, huh?” she asks, standing beside him, forearms resting on the banister. Neither one of them are wearing jackets, and her sleeves might be long but they’re all lace. There’s no way they’ll last out here long.
“Yeah.”
She looks at him. “I feel like I should apologize for the whole fiancé thing. But —” she trails off.
“But?” he asks.
“I’m actually a little more interested in that story you told Walsh.”
His heart isn’t possibly beating loud enough for her to hear. Right? That noise is all in his head?
“What about it?”
“Was it true?”
Somewhere distantly he hears the group inside continue their countdown, now hitting “34! 33! 32!” and getting louder with each number.
“Yeah. The first time I saw you was in the lobby of the building.”
She immediately shakes her head, appearing almost angry at him. “No. Not that part. I remember that night with Mary-Margaret and Elsa. The other part. The part about me. About knowing —” A shiver runs through her. He can see the goosebumps on her skin, and yet she persists. “About me, and knowing that —”
“Of course it’s true, Emma. I wouldn’t make that up.”
Then Emma does the last thing he expects and punches him in the shoulder. Not hard enough to injure him but it’s surprising enough that it hurts. “Ouch!” he says, rubbing the spot she hit. “What was that?”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Are you saying I should have?”
“Well, obviously.” She clenches her fists, and huffs out an aggravated breath. “I don’t make eyes, Killian. Okay?” She doesn’t punch him, but she does sort of push his shoulder. “I am not a make eyes person.” And she pushes him again. “Got it?”
“God, woman, would you stop shoving me?”
“No, because you are an idiot.”
“Are you drunk?”
“No. And are you listening to me? I DON’T MAKE EYES.”
“Okay, fine!” They’re almost shouting now, but he can still make out the “10! 9! 8!” from inside the apartment. “You don’t make eyes! I read you!”
“I don’t make eyes,” she says, for the fourth time, a little quieter but no less emphatic. “Except I do make eyes at you. Pretty much from the first moment I met you.”
What? Her words take a moment to register, and then all he manages to say is, “Oh.”
Emma is having a harder time keeping in her shivers now. She crosses her arms tightly over her chest and there’s something about seeing that which springs him into action. He steps closer and runs his hands over her arms, hoping to bring some warmth to her skin.
The group inside bursts into a jubilant shout of “Happy New Year!” and he has apparently been making eyes at him. This whole time.
“Oh,” he says again.
“Yeah.”
New Year’s Day
Or, the holiday where Emma and Killian make magic
Emma is tempted to go inside for two reasons: one, to get out of the cold because sheesh, and two to text Mary-Margaret to inform her “I did the brave thing and all he did was say ‘oh.’ Twice!”
But something about the way Killian said ‘oh’ the second time and the way he looks at her now has her rooted in place. He’s running his hands up and down her arms to help warm her up. It feels better than anything has the right to.
“Happy new year, Emma,” he says. She hears the slight shake in his voice. Is he nervous, too? She kind of hopes so.
“Killian,” she says, and takes a small step closer. And, shit, she really hopes she’s not misreading his signals here. “Kiss me.”
For a fraction of a second Killian’s hands still entirely and then his brain seems to take over. One hand snakes around to her waist and he grabs her, bringing their bodies flush, and the other goes up to the nape of her neck. Killian’s thumb and forefinger are doing this massage thing which is utterly divine, and — Oh, she thinks, we’re kissing now.
It isn’t something she’s actively thought about — the logistics of kissing Killian — but that seems to be okay because her body is charged and humming in a way she’s never experienced before. She is suddenly struck by the sensation that she does not have enough hands. She tangles a hand in his hair, grabbing a fistful and earning her a grunt from Killian, which makes her want to do it again. But if her hand is in his hair then she can’t run it up and down the planes of his back and that’s a shame. So, she does that. But, she finds, if both hands are feeling the corded muscles of his back, then she can’t feel the firmness of his arms, which is a crime against the world. And if she’s gripping his biceps, then she can’t get a handful of what she has always suspected, and has now been able to confirm, is a phenomenal ass. It’s a problem scientists should dedicate the rest of their lifetimes to solving — too much Killian and not enough hands.
Killian runs his tongue along the seam of her lips and the sensation is so overwhelming she has to take a second, pulling away with a gasp. Only now they're too far away from on another so she wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead to his. She keeps her eyes closed, wanting to savor the everything of the moment for another second.
“Emma,” he says.
She smiles, and opens her eyes only long enough to kiss him again, sweetly on the lips before nuzzling into his the space between his neck and shoulder. Either she's aggravated her ankle or something about Killian is affecting her because she's having trouble standing.
He laughs, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her once more, and yes! This is significantly warmer than the rubbing of arms things. They should have been doing this the whole time. The kissing is so much warmer.
“Emma,” he repeats.
“Hmm?” she doesn’t feel like she can actually say full words. Maybe it’s the not saying of full words that’s allowing her to feel this warm (also, made her something called a snowball shot and it was minty and wonderful and that might also be contributing to the warm feeling).
“How committed are you to this hanging around for donuts and coffee thing?”
“Why? You have a better offer?”
“I could make you hot chocolate,” he says.
“And?”
“That’s not enough?”
She smiles, opens her eyes and shakes her head at him. “Coffee and donuts. That is a beverage and a snack. You offered only a beverage.”
“Counteroffer: I steal a box of donuts from Ruby and Mulan’s kitchen and we bring them back to your place.”
“Now you’re talking.” Their plan is to get bundled up in their outerwear, say their goodbyes and then grab the donuts, but it all goes to hell when Ruby asks Emma why she’s being weird and in response she shouts “I kissed Killian and I’m stealing your donuts!” She grabs a box and runs. As they try to make their getaway Ruby’s shouts at them from the front door. “I’m sending you a request on Venmo! Donuts are for non-horny guests who stay for dancing!”
Safely tucked into their Uber (she asked about the true horror of surge pricing and Killian refused to answer), Emma finds herself fixated on the red glint of Killian’s stubble under the passing glow of streetlights. He swallows a few times as she runs her finger along the line of his jaw.
“Killian? Has your heater been working okay?”
He nods. “Right as rain.”
“Oh,” she says, disappointed. “Well, if it ever stopped working, you could stay at my place again.”
The corners of his mouth twitch as he holds in a smile, and she really wants to bite his neck but she also doesn’t want to negatively impact Killian’s Uber rating. “Is that so?”
“Just being neighborly.”
“Obviously.”
The rest of the ride to their apartment complex is wonderful, with the touching, and the smiling, and the knowing that she has a box of contraband donuts, but she wants more.
As soon as they get out of the car, Killian takes Emma’s hand but she stays where she is and pulls him back to her.
“I changed my mind,” she says. He looks uncertain, and she rushes to explain. “You should stay at my apartment even if your heat is working.”
“Well that sounds grand,” Killian says, his voice low.
“Well good,” she says, and that’s when inspiration strikes. Once in the lobby, she unzips her ankle boots and holds them out for Killian to take. “Trade you boots for donuts?”
“Deal,” he says.
“So.”
“So.”
“Who would have thought, huh?”
“What?” he asks.
“I mean, who would have though that me calling you a sick fuck on Thanksgiving would lead to us fucking on New Year’s Day? Crazy, right?” She asks the rather audacious question in as casual a tone as possible. Killian looks a little dazed and Emma leans up to kiss him again, smiling as their lips meet.
“I —” he sputters.
“Killian?”
“Yeah?”
“Loser makes breakfast in the morning,” she says, and then she’s running through the lobby, clutching the donuts to her chest.
Killian’s laughter chasing her up the stairs is magic.
#cssecretsanta2k19#captain swan#cs fanfic#captain swan ff#emma x killian#p: emma x killian#c: emma swan#c: killian jones#hollyethecurious#never stories
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Clone Wars fic Day One
So @stoppit-keepout gave me 'Abdicate' as a prompt word, and this sprung forth, but SK I promise I will write you something else for a fandom you're actually in.
Meanwhile, please enjoy the first chunk of a very random modern au featuring cody and Obi-Wan being goddamn disasters. Hopefully there will be a new slice of this universe every day until New Years, but who the hell knows.
Obi-Wan meets Cody at the Big Brothers Big Sisters Christmas party. He's there with Anakin, who has just been kicked out of another foster home and is clearly feeling celebratory as a result. Obi-Wan has given up asking about the experiences Anakin has that lead him to prefer group homes or sleeping rough, but he can make some educated guesses.
Ahsoka and Plo are there as well, having shown up early along with Wolffe to set up the decorations. They're all showing off the official adoption papers to whoever will stand still long enough to read them, and Wolffe and Ahsoka don't say anything to each other without including "sister" or "brother" somewhere in the 'address while Plo looks on like he's never realized his life could be this perfect.
"Hey, big brother," Ahsoka says, "is your cousin coming? I think Kix will like him."
"They'll be here as long as Rex's car can make it," Wolffe says. "They were going to pick up Jesse from his grandma's, so they might get stuck in bridge traffic."
"Rex's car is held together with literal duct tape," Anakin explains in an aside to Obi-Wan. "I keep telling him I can fix it, but he won't let me."
"I didn't know Rex's brother was going to mentor Kix," Obi-Wan says.
"It's not official," Ahsoka says.
"There will be a proper introduction," Plo assures him. "Cody has already been approved, but you know how Kix is."
"Smarter than anyone they've paired him up with?" Obi-Wan says, calmly. He's rather defensive of Kix, even not having a particularly close relationship with him. He's had to train himself out of his impatience with people who can't keep up with him, and he can appreciate Kix's unwillingness to waste his time. Qui-Gon would scold him for such thoughts, but Qui-Gon is currently half way across the country at some sort of plants and yoga retreat instead of spending the holidays with his wife or his step-father or his not-really son and the child who worships the ground he walks on.
It's fine. Obi-Wan isn't bitter. Tahl is spending Christmas Eve drinking wine with her coworkers from the library, and Obi-Wan and Anakin are here, and Christmas Day they'll all trek across the city to Dooku's disgustingly fancy mansion for an awkward Christmas meal and criticism of their life choices. At least with Qui-Gon absent everything should remain civil. Unless Anakin's teenaged bravado has developed further in the past year. Obi-Wan is doing Anakin the favour of pretending to believe him when he says he doesn't care about Qui-Gon's absence. He suspects Anakin is doing the same for him, which is uncomfortable for a whole host of reasons.
"I think Kix and Cody will get along," Wolffe says, tongue between his teeth as he carefully glues googly eyes on a felt snowman. Obi-Wan catches Plo snapping a photo, clearly amused.
Obi-Wan lets himself get dragged into the cookie decorating catastrophe happening on the other side of the room, and he remains entirely engrossed until Mace claps his hands and shouts, "Pizza's ready, I need two volunteers to go across and pick it up, who's going with Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan throws up his sugar-coated hands indignantly. "What have I ever done to you, Mace? Am I not a delight, a breath of orderly, reliable, and charming fresh air—"
"I'll go," someone says, and Rex appears out of nowhere to shove Obi-Wan toward the coat wrack. There's a dark-haired man already there, snow still caught on the collar of his jacket, clearly not having been inside long enough even to settle in.
Obi-Wan sighs dramatically for the entertainment of the younger children, but the way he wipes the icing off his hands on Mace's jacket is entirely for himself. The dark-haired man, Rex's brother, he has to be, frowns severely at him. Obi-Wan smiles brightly.
He pulls on his coat and winds his scarf around his neck and over most of his face.
"I'm Obi-Wan," he says. "And yes, this scarf was a gift and I will be guilted terribly should I not wear it."
"Cody," he says. "I'm Rex's brother?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan says. "I had guessed as much."
"Present from your grandmother?" Cody asks, holding the door for Obi-Wan.
"The scarf? No, no, my... semi-absent father figure, actually. His step father bought him a book on knitting as a teenager and he has somehow maintained the habit without improving his skills over the past thirty years."
"Ahh," Cody says, uncertainly. "So have you been involved..." Cody waves a gloved hand uncertainly. "With this, I mean— this is the first time I've been to any sort of event—"
"No, no," Obi-Wan says, understanding the question because it is exhaustingly familiar. Because clearly only people with biological nuclear families have healthy and ideal childhoods. "No, I only got involved a few years ago. Qui-Gon, my... father, met Anakin at the food bank. Anakin was there with his mother and Qui-Gon was volunteering, because sometimes he remembers that he grew up rich and has week-long bouts of frantic guilt-induced philanthropy. Anakin became quite attached to him, and when his mother passed away we spent a great deal of time helping him through the fallout. Naturally, Qui-Gon lost interest shortly after, but by then Anakin's social worker had gotten us involved in BBBS."
"I presume he hasn't improved at emotional intelligence with age, either? Given his absence."
Obi-Wan laughs, startled. "Not at all, actually. And you, what brings you here? Did Rex wear you down?"
"He told me about Kix," Cody says. "Admittedly this isn't my first choice when it comes to giving back to the community, but I wouldn't feel right knowingly walking away from a job for which I'm uniquely suited."
"It's not a job," Obi-Wan says, sharply.
"I'm sorry," Cody says. "You're right."
They cross the intersection in silence. None of the sidewalks are shovelled and Obi-Wan swallows down his irritated rant.
"I said that poorly," Cody says, hunching his shoulders. "I only meant that this level of social interaction and engagement with strangers— I'm not good at it. That's all I meant."
Obi-Wan, who has never particularly experienced or understood this sort of struggle, smiles sympathetically. "Of course, very understandable."
Cody's eyebrows go up. "I'm sure. You don't need to lie to spare my feelings."
Obi-Wan jerks open the door to the pizza restaurant harder than he intends to. "I apologize."
"I wasn't offended."
Inside the heat is stifling in contrast to the chill of late afternoon. Obi-Wan huffs a breath through his scarf and steps up to the counter. "They need two minutes," Obi-Wan tells Cody once he's exchanged words with the person behind the counter.
They lean together against the wall, dishwater dull sunlight splashed across the tiles at their feet. A drop of sweat creeps down Obi-Wan's spine.
"You should take your scarf off," Cody says, after a moment, like he's been trying to stop himself.
Obi-Wan blinks uncertainly, then agreeably pulls the scarf of his face, loosening the loops around his neck and unzipping his jacket a few inches.
Cody stares out the window. "Sorry. You're obviously hot," he says. "It's boiling in here."
Obi-Wan doesn't know what to say, given that he has absolutely no reason to have left the scarf pulled up and thus has no leg to stand on when it comes to the oddity of the moment.
Back at the community centre they're descended upon by a rush of children and teens, stacks of pizza boxes snatched from their arms and vanishing into the crowd. Obi-Wan glances over to the cookie table, and is unsurprised to see the lack of progress.
It takes a few seconds and some bouncing up on his toes to find Kix, and when he does it's to see him curled up on a hard plastic chair in the back corner behind the water cooler, cell phone pressed to his ear, his other arm wrapped around himself and looking very much like he's trying to remain calm through an exceedingly distressing conversation.
Cody is standing very still, hands clasped behind his back, eyes darting around and clearly unsure what to do. Obi-Wan, who is a good person, says "Come on, then. While I recognize that it's meant to be the process of decorating the cookies that holds the value, I also am physically incapable of leaving a job half done, and now that the real food has arrived I suspect no one else will be doing it."
"Yes, ok," Cody says, quickly.
Anakin finds them five minutes later, half a piece of pizza in his mouth and a spring in his step. "Rex is gonna let me take a look at his car!"
"I'm glad," Obi-Wan says, and means it. He may not trust Anakin with a lot of things, but when it comes to mechanics Obi-Wan trusts him far more than any "professional".
"you guys should get some pizza before it's all gone," Anakin says. "Hi, by the way. You're Cody, right?"
"Yeah," Cody says. "You're Anakin."
"That's me. And now I'm a little worried that rex talks about me."
"Would you believe me if I said only good things?"
"I accidentally pushed him off the roof of the old theatre last winter," says Anakin. Cody nods.
"We're busy with this," Obi-Wan says, nodding to the cookies. "Besides, the pizza should go to the youth, not to us."
Anakin rolls his eyes. "Whatever, it's food, we're all here, don't make it weird."
"Busy," Obi-wan repeats.
Anakin waves a hand. "Hey, hey, I get it. You're finally getting to experience an extremely stereotypical holiday tradition that you never did when you were a kid, and it's nice because you've been all fucked up with Qui-Gon away."
"What?!" Obi-Wan snaps, incredulous, at the same time Cody says
"That's exactly what we're doing, actually. Couldn't have said it better myself."
Obi-Wan considers upending the container of sprinkles over Cody's head.
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Fall of a Dynasty: Ch 3. Signing the Fine Print
"I've stopped the bleeding," Doctor Boo-Boo yawned. He was sleeping in his private quarters in the castle after completing surgery on Tulilaid's foot. The captain of the guard had fallen from his horse during a routine scouting drill when his saddle slipped off due to the buckle breaking. It was an accident, but broke a few bones in his foot. Unfortunately, it needed surgical repair, so he was off duty for a few weeks. Still, with Kelly fussing over him, he would be back in tiptop shape in no time. "The Emperor will be fine. She just needs rest now."
"Thank you, my brother said he'd be along shortly, he had to uh... put on more presentable attire." Ralnor worded his sentence delicately. "Not come in his night robe."
"You don't have to sugarcoat it, prince, I know how much the king and queen fuck."
"... very well then, he had to change out of a pair of leather pants."
"Nice. Anyway, I'll come back and check on her in an hour. I need check on Tulilad now, make sure he wasn't quoting that obnoxious poetry since the drugs make him loopy."
"Thank you." Ralnor waited until Dr. Boveir exited the medical wing and turned his attention to Zannah. "We are... quite surprised. At this kind of visit, I mean."
Zannah was incredibly tired, but the moment she locked eyes with Leere, she was being kept up by spite. No way she’d fall asleep around that woman. Ralnor was rumoured to be quite the snake himself as well. “That tends to happen when people try to assassinate you.”
"Tell us what is happening." Ralnor told Zannah. "We cannot help you unless we know the full story."
“My Empire is in the middle a civil war Ralnor.”
Rinku tilted her head, her wrinkles frowning at the thought. “We haven’t heard about that.”
“Because it’s been very small, and I’ve kept a tight lid on it until now.”
"Civil war?" Ralnor sounded... uneasy. If there was unrest in the Kikai Empire, it would not be long until it spread elsewhere. He would not risk having it spread here. "I'm assuming someone is trying to take your throne."
“Worse. They’re trying to tear down the fabric of my Empire for a democracy. But yes, I imagine they want the seat of authority once all is said and done.”
Leere shrugged dismissively at the Emperor. “I’m guessing you came to Hyrule to discuss that very issue. Until of course you were attacked.”
“That is correct as well.”
"I'm here, I apologize for the wait, my queen had need of me." Covarog did change clothes but forgot to wipe the lipstick off of his cheek. "Doctor Boveir filled me in on what happened. What's this nonsense about a fight on our doorstep?"
"Evidently, brother, there is a civil war in the Empire." Ralnor informed Covarog. "They want a democracy now."
"That's... more fighting, more deaths, it could threaten to spread here if it is not contained."
"Exactly."
"We have to get this issue resolved at once." Covarog asked Zannah. "Who is the perpetrator behind this?"
Zannah scowled, hiding her disdain with a half-hearted chuckle. “What? Not even a hello?”
We'll have time for pleasantries later, for now, we need information." Covarog was concerned about the Empire once again getting too haughty and trying to attack Hyrule. The last thing he wanted was another war. The kingdom had just recovered from Vul'kar. "Who is behind this?"
Zannah sighed, breathing softly. “A man by the name of Jaster Fett. He had enough influence to lead my Theron to betray me.”
"Is this someone you know or someone new?" Ralnor inquired. "If it is an enemy of the past, we could handle this with an advantage by predicting his next move."
"I've never heard of this man." Covarog thought for a moment. "The only person I ever knew to so open about his method of attack like this was your brother."
“I’ve never heard of this man until recently.” Zannah’s eyes gleamed malice at Covarog, the mention of her brothers from the likes of him infuriating her. “You’ll have to be more specific. My twin who was decapitated in front of me, or my eldest brother?”
"The bastard that kidnapped our sister, is that clear enough for you?" Covarog said dryly. "He's the cruelest son of a bitch that I ever knew."
Ralnor agreed with a nod. "Bastard for sure, though at least he's dead."
“I kidnapped your sister. Along with my Android.” Zannah didn’t know if he was playing a joke on her, but she’d keep her pride damn it.
Leere narrowed her eyes at the Emperor. “You seem almost proud of that.”
“Of course. It was one of my greatest military achievements.”
“Even if Rinku captured you and hog tied you.”
That quieted Zannah up good on the subject. “My brothers are long dead Covarog.”
"The only reason you're in our good graces is due to my wife, let's not forget that." Covarog glared at Zannah. "For some reason, she thought you worth sparring even after what you did to Kanisa, not to mention my wife's sister."
"Brother, let's stay on point." Ralnor had to be the voice of reason here. Even though he did not care for Zannah either, he thought there was definitely something to gain from this. "I suppose I should get right to the point. We negotiated a treaty, saying that we would not declare war on the Empire and the Empire would extend us the same courtesy. We would help each other in trade and provide supplies if there were to be a disaster. Yet, we never had lines of declaration about aiding during a civil war."
“Excuse me? You’re my ally? What do you think will happen to Hyrule if I’m not leading the Empire?”
"Simple." Ralnor spoke without batting an eye. "We crush it like we wanted to years ago. If you can't control your own people, and they become a threat to us, then we will use our forces to contain this mess you allowed to spiral out of control."
“And how many dead will that leave in Hyrule? Thousands. Can you have those deaths on your head King Covarog?”
"You honestly think that we will lose? You know my wife's capabilities. You've seen her army of dragons and elemental sorcerers." Covarog did not look too worried. "We have one of the best armies and a giant naval fleet thanks to Admiral Corsaire. My father's relationship with the local monsters would definitely help. Besides, I have it in good word there are many who would love to take a swing at the Empire. Yet, I do think there could be a way around this."
"I agree, brother, though it depends on whether or not she would take the offer and swallow her pride." Ralnor knew he and his brother had the same idea. "We could introduce you to someone who would solve this problem very easily."
“I’m asking if you can accept the dead on your side.”
“Zannah. Don’t you think the casualties of war can be avoided? At least mitigated?” Rinku rocked back and forth slowly on her chair. “You have children of your own. You don’t want them being caught up in a skirmish.”
“My children? My children are both safe in Danjur and already on deaths door. They often wondered why they weren’t outright killed due to the magnitude of their injuries. Don’t speak of my children.” Zannah groaned as her leg injury pulled her aches. “What possible friend can help me? That sounds like another debt.”
Leere looked to the two brothers. When she figured out who they were talking about, she shook her head. “No. I’m not having him interact with her black hearted soul.”
"You don't dictate who he can and cannot interact with." Ralnor reminded Leere. "He decides whether he wants to or not one we propose the idea to him. Besides, you know he has a love of conflict."
"Not to mention, he is probably the only one who could put her in her place." Covarog snorted in amusement. "I know he did with me."
"He does that to everyone he meets, the bastard." Ralnor groaned. "The question is, what would he want in return?"
"I suppose that's for him to know and her to find out."
Leere threw her hands in the air. She was ready to go to bed and deal with this lost fiery reptile in the morning. “Fine. She gets a cell, right?”
"Unfortunately, no." Ralnor mused. "She is, after all, still part of our treaty and a visiting diplomatic guest."
Covarog yawned, tired as well. "How do we get him here?"
"Oh don't worry." Ralnor looked up at the ceiling. He knew Bonegrinder always heard the voices in the castle. "He knows to come."
~
"Good goddesses, why did he insist that we meet down here of all places?" Covarog hated the cold and the tunnels were dark, dank, and just that. Freezing.
"I would have been happy to meet him in the library like last time!"
"He likes to make an entrance and I told you to wear an extra layer." Ralnor responded to his brother's complaining like an annoyed parent. "And he likes to play on his own turf."
"Not to mention, we have cripple here stuck in a wheelchair."
"She couldn't walk down here."
"Not like she's going to be able to run from him if she gets scared either."
Leere was glad they could all get a fresh morning after a night’s rest. Zannah didn’t seem to think that 6 hours was a proper sleep though. “My son has a better wheel chair then what you provided Covarog. I’m freezing my ass on this thing.”
"Well, I'm sorry that we don't have one with memory foam cushioning for your pompous ass like Annuciata does for your son." Covarog held out his hand in a gesture. "Do you want to postpone this meeting so your ass will be more comfortable while I order you a perfect chair?"
"Brother..."
"Fine. She's being testy."
"I agree. But we're here to negotiate."
"Where is the big guy anyway?"
"Oh, he's here." Ralnor assured them. "He's just watching for a moment. You know how he like to observe."
"Pretty prince, what did you bring old Bonegrinder?" The snake was on the ceiling, hidden by shadows. He chose not to reveal himself just yet. He wanted to know more firstly before getting involved with another royal leader. "A green lady to add to his precious collection of children? Blue and White will be intrigued."
"No, Bonegrinder, she is actually here because we told her that you could help her."
"Hmm, and help the green lady with... what?"
Leere jabbed Zannah’s back, poking hard with her finger. “Well Zannah. Do you want to tell the lovely man what you’d like?”
Zannah hissed at both Covarog and Leere. “I loath you both. And what man? I don’t see anyone because you have strapped to this chair and we are in a dank catacomb.”
"Hehehe, what makes you think that Bonegrinder is a 'man' as you put it?" The snake was amused. "That he is even human? Is your worldview so limited, green lady?"
"Oh, you made him laugh, that means he likes you." Covarog informed Zannah with a grin.
"Just wait until she has had a day full of his antics." Ralnor rolled his eyes. "Then she'll get why I can't stand him."
"Oh, pretty prince, you love old Bonegrinder, you just won't admit it."
“Enough of this. I came here to ask assistance for my Empire. Show yourself, or do you waste my time with false friends Covarog?”
"False friends? Now, now, green lady, do you mistake Bonegrinder for a ghost?" The Anagari slowly slithered downward from the ceiling. Over the years, he had grown from giant to enormous. Now, he was wider in girth and longer in length. Yet, he still held the daunting face of insanity displayed across his features. "He assures you, green lady," His tail coiled around her wheelchair, bringing her closer to his face for her to see him truly up close. "He is not a spirit nor a specter, he is very much alive."
"See? Told you. He loves an entrance."
“You’re a giant chimera!” Zannah was openly shocked by how huge the snake man was.
"HAHAHAHA!" Bonegrinder actually laughed, deeply, at her stunned face. "Green lady, Bonegrinder is an Anagari, an Echidnan, a child of Mother, and one of many in her legion."
"If you think he's big, Mother is three times his size."
"And Mother is many."
"Very much so."
"Tell him, green lady, tell him what you wish of him." Bonegrinder's tail tilted her chin upward to keep her gaze upon him. "Do you wish for knowledge? Do you wish for strength? Or perhaps do you wish to surrender to the fate the deities have dealt upon you, knowing there is no winning against a divinity."
“I wish for my Empire I so carefully built up from near annihilation to not fall to the hands of filthy traitors. It survived Ganondorf, and it must survive now. I have citizens to look after. The Hasai people will grow weak with time if left to a democracy.” Zannah coughed, the cold getting to her lungs.
"Hrm, so you wish for your people to survive," Bonegrinder slithered around Zannah, circling her as he spoke. "But what are you willing to sacrifice? His magic, Echidnan magic, has its price... even the two pretty brothers know this."
Zannah gripped her chair handles tightly. If Zizi was here, she’d be with every human that hated her guts. Part of her wondered if the three siblings brought her here to be become a snack. “You’re all friends, and you all represent Hyrule’s interest. What do you want from me?”
"He already knows of the little problem back in your home," Bonegrinder informed Zannah. "A civil war with someone trying to take your throne. However, you have lost the faith of your people. If you were placed back on the throne, then this would eventually happen again."
"Thus, where my suggestion took place." Manaco suddenly appeared aside of Bonegrinder. "And he listened. The question is, will you?"
"Your people admire strength and dedication to the betterment of the whole... yet, he can give them one thing you've failed to do." Ralnor placed his hand on Manaco's shoulder. "Loyalty."
Leere and the others spent an extra hour and two discussing without Zannah how they could deal with her little predicament. It her who took Manaco down to Bonegrinder to discuss their plan with the giant shaman.
"And to keep the Empire under wraps, and to ensure that no future betrayal or lack of control happens again in the future at your hands, we decided to select our nomination to the throne." Covarog declared. "Your daughter, Athena. While she was not originally our first choice, Manaco here then had a splendid idea."
"I'm the nephew of Queen Zarazu, the child of her younger sister and a well-respected Waku back home." Manaco then laid out his proposal. "I will marry Athena and help her govern the Kikai Empire...”
"Hehehe, see, green lady?" Bonegrinder chuckled. "They have thought this plan well... however, where Bonegrinder comes into play is his magic to ensure this runs smoothly. Are you ready to hear his price?"
Zannah crossed her arms, her eyes staring down Manaco’s soul. To marry his daughter and take the throne was a serious step to take. “When did you want to marry my daughter boy?”
"Pffffttt..." Covarog tried to contain a snicker. "Good goddesses, you're blind, woman."
"Seriously?" Manaco looked miffed. "I've liked her since I first laid eyes on her. She just wouldn't have anything to do with a 'little kid' when she was a 'cool teenager'. You know how that goes." He shook his head. "Besides, I am a man now. I have my own house, my own land, I have bested others in combat, and by Hasai law, that means I have entered into adulthood. I may not be direct royalty, but I'm the best chance you have at regaining the respect of your people. They already adore my mother and my father, and I have won their trust in the past."
“Hmmm. Perhaps I should have groomed you, instead of producing all your half siblings.” Zannah didn’t hold snark, but real hindsight in her voice. “In her condition, however, I don’t think she’s mentally strong enough to marry anyone.”
"And that is where this old snake comes in," Bonegrinder simply waved his hand over Zannah's leg and the wound... was gone. No pain. No scar. No indication there ever was a hurt. "See, green lady? There is more to this snake than meets the eye."
Zannah stood from the chair, kicking it back towards Covarog. She had no words at first, but when she found them, she knew exactly what she would say. “Tell me your price once more. Heal both my children, and I will pay it.”
Leere crossed her arms. She supposed mother hood could make even the hardest killers soft.
"Not only will you agree to this plan, but in the future, Bonegrinder will have use of you," The Anagari informed Zannah. "No matter how much you deny the deities or curse them, they do have a handle in your fate. One day, Balance will be challenged by Chaos. The world will be at stake; not just your survival, your kingdom's survival, but everyone's." He used his magic to depict a feminine figure with eight wings fighting against a blob of shredded teeth which threatened to swallow her whole. "Queen Luimaya will play a vital role years from now. We will all have to fight and stand with Balance. His condition is you, your kin, your people, will be faithful not only to Luimaya but to the deities as well. Only then, will they possibly not consider your soul damned for daring to achieve what a mortal should never dream of."
“Then perhaps your deity should have a chat with my own. Exodrum is a god of fire and war. His blood is in me. I don’t know about a war in the future you speak of, but he’d choose the side that can bring the most challenge.” Zannah was still confused. “I’m already Hyrule’s ally. If a nation threatens them, we attack. Nothing changes there.”
"You think your puny god of fire can disobey the mother of the heavens if he doesn't want to do what she says?" Bonegrinder asked Zannah with a very disturbing smile. "You seek power, green lady... you have never experienced true power before. Yet, the question remains... do you agree?" He held out his hand.
"This snake is told that this is a gesture human do to show the agreement is complete. Once you take his hand, there is no going back on your word. He will heal your children, and help save your nation, but the prices are yours alone to pay."
“I agree. Heal my children and make sure that the bastard known as Jaster Fett perishes.” Zannah looked to Covarog, tilting her head. “There’s nothing you want as King?”
"Loyalty is good enough for me, as well as the previous arrangements in the treaty. Besides," Covarog admitted with a chuckle. "Gloating is good enough for me."
"That and once again, the queen spoke on your behalf." Ralnor reminded Zannah.
"The Empire, under Manaco's and Athena's rule, will report directly to Hyrule. It will become an extension of our country."
"And there's that."
"So, green lady," Bonegrinder asked her once more, offering his hand, swirling with magic to seal the binding. "Do you agree?"
“What?” Zannah couldn’t believe that her territory would become a state of Hylian law. It was moment she found hard to breathe.
Leere, however, took a deep breath of satisfaction. When she heard what Zannah did to Zizi, she thought back to how she should have killed her long ago. This was suitable payback. “That’s right. The Empire becomes part of the Kingdom to Hyrule. What’s the matter Zannah, you look a little green in the gills there.”
“So I’m to exit the throne immediately?”
"Yes." Covarog was not giving Zannah a chance to argue. "My kingdom has been burned by your flames one too many times, Zannah. We're not allowing it to happen again."
"The only reason that we're not taking this opportunity to simply crush your nation is due to the queen's insistence that an overflow of allies is better than not enough." Ralnor explained to Zannah. "Simply put, you are a pawn on our chessboard now, that will be moved as we see fit. We took one out of your books, Zannah. Figured you'd at least have an inkling this was coming."
"Worry not, green lady, Bonegrinder will ensure your little girl is healthy enough to take over and provide an heir." The Anagari flicked his tail. "Your bloodline will continue... but the throne is now out of your reach."
“I’m a Queen in a game of chess. Don’t insult me you tiny Gerudo.” Zannah internally thought about this choice. What would T0-D say? What would Annuciata say? What should she say? She had an idea all three would agree. Turning to Bonegrinder, she shook his hand. “Do what you can to help my people. That goes for the rest of you worms as well.”
"Queen? Of nothing now, Zannah."
Once the Emperor took the hand of Bonegrinder, there was magic working there. A seal formed around Zannah's wrist. It was not large, only small scribble of elegant writing. This would hold Zannah to her word. The Gerudo brothers had expressed to the Anagari that they held concern of her trying to find a loophole or break her bond.
"Now, green, little, lady... tell this old snake. Where are your children?"
________________________________________________________________
Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/614055858328977408/fall-of-a-dynasty-ch-2-friends-in-high-places
Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/614060759069130752/fall-of-a-dynasty-ch-4-a-family-made-whole
Crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse. Story arc revolving the Hasai.
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You read Carry On? What are your thoughts? What was your favorite part? Anyway, sorry about this, I just love your blog and I love Carry On and I'd love to hear your opinion. :)
You would Like To Hear My Thoughts??? I’m so glad you asked :DD
It’s long as shit though, so I’m gonna put it under the cut
OK SO FIRST OF ALL CAN I JUST SAY, LITERALLY THE ENTIRE PART BEFORE BAZ SHOWED UP IN PERSON I WAS ALL “fellas is it gay” AT LIKE, ALL OF SIMON’S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE REGARDING BAZZY BOI AND THEN WHEN HE DID FINALLY SHOW I WAS ALL “fELLAS—” LIKE EVEN HARDER AND THEN. “I’m hopelessly in love with Simon Snow. ‘Hopelessly’ being the operative word.” NONNIE WHEN I SAY I HAD TO PHYSICALLY STOP MYSELF FROM SHRIEKING.
GOD BAZ IS SO DRAMATIC AND GAY™️, I LOVE HIM, MY SON, MY BOY, I WOULD GIVE HIM THE WORLD IF I COULD,
*clears throat* not to ramble about just one character or anything but I have a type apparently (and nobody is surprised). Also, love that Baz plays violin like me. Truly, he is a being of Class.
I also absolutely adored the tongue-in-cheek, Office-camera-stare lines that were included as, like, DIRECT digs at R*wling and Harry Potter. Like how Simon was all “nobody loves magic like me” and just about all of his interactions with the Mage and how he very much didn’t want to get tied into one family early on (no shade to the weasleys but. um.), especially if that family was Old Blood. So much of it felt like direct digs at Harry Potter and it was GLORIOUS, the PETTINESS, the sPI T E, like that’s the shit I can get behind in a book. Made me cackle whenever I saw it happen. It was also so…self aware? Way more self aware than I thought it would be, I was absolutely delighted.
I feel like I should go off about other characters now, and I will be getting more into Baz in the process, but let’s start with Simon. The Chosen One. Maybe it’s because he’s 18 (19?) when th e book starts, but he feels like a drastically different protagonist than Harry (sorry, I’ll be making a lot of references to Harry Potter cuz Carry On is a better version of Harry Potter). He’s like, very distinctly not dumb (given that he can work his way through the Records solo fairly easily and also retain and use that information), but he’s also admitted that he chooses not to think. It’s self-preservation more than anything and GOD I could write character study after character study on him (on all of them, really, and hhhhhhh I love that most of all), but I won’t subject you to the full version in this. Cliff Notes version: he’s clearly lived through some shit, knows enough not to trust the Mage fully but not enough to not turn to him at all, shows his humanity in his clumsiness and I love him. My boy. My sOn.
Penny’s up next!! GOD the love I have for my daughter Knows No Bounds. She really doesn’t have any time for bullshit, does she? Well, not any bullshit that isn’t her own. But she also knows how to set her bs aside and focus, and that’s GREAT. (Side note, I loved that Simon’s internal prejudices were addressed in how they became friends. Brought up, addressed swiftly, and promptly shot tf down. Delightful.) Penny is smart enough to figure shit out pretty quickly, but also inventive enough to try new things and fuck up in the process. She’s fierce and defensive and tHE ADDRESSING OF THE BECHDEL TEST TOWARDS THE END OF THE BOOK WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY TO ME, KTHNXBAI.
Agatha!! Hm. Agatha. I was prepped to dislike her purely off her name, doubly so when it was heavily implied that she was cheating on Simon with Baz. As it stands now, I don’t understand her nearly as well as I’d like to, but I support her 100%. She’s seen some fucked up shit!!! And when she saw her chance to make a choice for her, when she decided to do what she wanted, she fucking went for it. You go girl. Live your best life in California. I legitimately hope she’s doing well.
Of the main four, that brings me to Bazzy Boi. I’ve already said he’s my son, and I stand by that, cuz I have a special soft spot for assholes who are far less assholish than they appear at first glance. Doubly soft for assholes who are assholes out of a cripplingly low sense of self worth (and if they get a boost of self worth later on in their story??? FUCK YEAH). Plus he’s a musician, and sarcastic, and a Disaster Gay™️–literally me!! Except I’m less of an asshole. Unless I really know you. He’s also a mamas boy and I can’t understand that but I love and support him regardless. I also absolutely ADORE Ebb and Fiona, kthnxbai,
The plot itself was serious, but the story never took itself too seriously. I mentioned the petty digs at R*wling and the brief fourth wall break with the Bechdel test earlier, but also the way Penny was all “yeah everyone is gonna be busy for Christmas, check back in after Boxing Day” was so nice. I don’t even know really why, except maybe I do, and it’s because it shows the characters having desires and motivations outside of “accomplish this goal or It’s The End Of The World”. They’re people, not just plot vessels, and that’s so fucking refreshing to see. It was also really nice to see Simon saying no to the Mage really early on and having that stance validated and respected.
Fancy book talk aside (or as fancy as I ever get), yALL SNOWBAZ IS LITERALLY ALL MY FAVORITE SHIP DYNAMICS ROLLED INTO ONE!!?!??!?!??!! IT FELT LIKE AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO MYSELF, IT HAD THE “years of ‘uNrEqUiTeD’ pining” AND IT HAD THE “and they were roommates” AND ENEMIES TO LOVERS AND ACTUAL AGGRESSION MELTING INTO A MASK TO HIDE THE UST, AND THE DICHOTOMY OF A MOTHERFUCKER WHO BURNS EASILY PLUS A MOTHERFUCKER WHO BURNS SHIT EASILY, THAT WHOLE “you’re so bad for me but goddamnit I can’t help myself” SHIT, ITS SO GOOD, LIKE THATS MY FAVORITE SHIT EVER, PLUS WHEN IT ACTUALLY TURNED OUT THAT BAZ AND SIMON WERE, LIKE, ACTUALLY REALLY COMPATIBLE???? hhhhhhh yE S, GIVE ME MORE,
Anyway I love Snowbaz, thanks for coming to my ted talk.
Finally, the ending. That. Ending. Though. I love that Rowell addressed how accidentally killing a dude would have possible legal consequences, and that Simon’s PTSD is addressed and he’s seeing a therapist, and basically how it shows four not-quite-adults dealing with the aftermath of some fucked-up shit happening to and around and because of them. That was so beautiful. Penny and Simon moving in together was also really nice too, especially since he and Baz are now dating and they’re gonna need some space to figure out how that new dynamic is gonna work. It was so nice to see ;w;
There’s more that I absolutely could rant about, and I definitely want to, but this response is long enough that I don’t want to make it any longer, ya feel? Yeah
#kingdomheartstrashmouth#ask dadzawa#nonnie#aslo nonnie dont ever apologize for asking my opinion on things!!!#i love talking about shit!!!!!#speaking of i still gotta rant about tros and frozen at some point#i was gonna do that today but. i got distracted. hehehe whoops :3c
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druck s3e01, a review
As promised, here's the very long, very messy s3e01 review, clip by clip!
CLIP 1
Right from the start, I really like the way you can feel Matteo's solitude thanks to the use of the music and how it "stops" when the camera's on him, I think it's a really smart move to show how he feels, like he's worlds apart, detached from all what's happening around him.
Then the shot changes from a guy's hands, a girl with a gut tattoo (absolutely love it) and a girl's ass, Idk if this has any purpose but it's still a cool effect, so kudos to the cinematography.
The moment Matteo stands up and goes to the bathroom but Sara stops him and kisses him really sets the tone of their relationship: Matteo's face when kissing Sara says a lot about his situation, like he's hugging her but at the same time he's not happy about it, his face shows apathy and resignation.
Really really loved the scene with the boys in the bathtub!! I think it does an awesome job at "introducing" (we already knew them) them. They talk about some sex position and act like dumbasses, but again Matteo feels like he's not there.
The shot of Matteo looking at himself in the mirror goes deeper into his confused and ausent kinda aura, it's as if he was wondering what is he doing there in that party, what is he doing with his life in general, which honestly? hella relatable.
HIGHLIGHTS: Boys gang's one common braincell, "Kiki is the hypotenuse", Dónde está mi gente playing in the background.
CLIP 2
First of all I love Matteo's room and I can't wait to see more of it!
The song choice is so on point for this scene like wow, it really helps the whole "lazy morning after" mood and also has a high melancholic vibe, which is (imo) very Matteo.
Also, the use of the lyrics!!! "I woke up but it didn't go away" right before Matteo sees his mother's message, "did you expect me to cry" when he's touching Jonas' hair and "will you not think of me tonight" when he sees the number on Jonas' arm. So far Druck has been exceptionally good at the song choices and the way they use them so I'm not exactly surprised at how good this was.
Bringing back the moment Matteo touched Jonas' hair because it was really important!! I made a post about this, but the fact that Matteo only shows this softer side of him because he's "alone" says a lot about himself and it's actually really sad. Not only that, this moment also shows that he's not over Jonas, and that makes a lot of sense for me, because he seemed to be really into him back in s1 (s2 too but especially s1).
HIGHLIGHTS: "Why are you in Matteo"s bed" "I could ask the same" " I was waiting for you", Matteo's tracksuit + grandpa jacket combination, we love a fashion icon.
CLIP 3
Right from the beginning, the absolute chaotic gay energy of Matteo replying to Sara's pic with "cool" and the shrug after that, he's not even trying, he doesn't know what to do or how he got himself into that situation.
Once again, when talking to his friends and the girls it seems like his body is there but hia mind is miles apart. Also!! when Sam tells him about how good the party was and he agrees even though it's clear (for the viewer) that he didn't have a good time, I think this is a good way to show the viewers Matteo's "wish" to fit in, and how he's always pretending.
And then!! The Scene!!!! I've talked about this on other posts but the way Matteo and David checked each other out was so not subtle, I loved it. The slow-motion, the song choice, the moment their stares connected, then again when both of them turned their heads to keep looking... what can I say except poetic cinema.
Also major kudos to Michelangelo for Matteo's slight facial change, it really shows that the encounter with David shook him up, even though he still doesn't know why.
HIGHLIGHTS: The way Hanna looked at Jonas! I love that Druck doesn't forget about past plots and instead continues them with little details like this.
Unrelated but Matteo I'm begging you please wear a fucking belt.
CLIP 4
First of all, what's up with the teachers not wearing bras??? I have nothing against women choosing not to wear bras but like, why is this a recurring theme for the "Isak" season?? I honestly don't get it.
I don't think there's a lot to comment in this clip, it's basically a way to introduce Matteo and Amira's friendship (something I'm hella excited for) and to set the date for The Meeting™.
That being said, there were little things that made me love this clip, like Matteo's body language. The way he shrugs and rolls his eyes, you can really feel how (physically and emotionally) tired he is just by looking at him. You don't have to understand german to know what he's thinking, you can get a sense of it based on the way he acts!! All this is thanks to Michelangelo for being so fucking good at acting, like wow.
Another thing I liked was Matteo's mood getting worse after seeing Jonas flirt with that girl, as I've said before I like that they're showing us that he's still not completely over him, it makes it more real to me.
HIGHLIGHTS: Amira looking like a goddess in that pink hijab, Matteo's "nein" when the teacher called him out, the masterpiece that is "Idk, a blowjob".
CLIP 5
Once again, I love Matteo's room!! That yoga cushion he was using? a comfortable king.
There are 4 things that I want to talk about in this clip, first, Matteo texting his friends that he's also "busy". As I've said in the clips above, he really feels that he has to pretend to be someone he isn't and that's such a realistic side of being in the closet, I feel like Druck is doing a good job in showing that.
Then, the fact that he doesn't close his eyes when kissing Sara. He's not invested in the kiss (for obvious reasons) and he just wishes it would end, but at the same time he doesn't neglect it? Like he's in a level of resignation where he doesn't care anymore.
I feel like I mention this way too much but!! the body language!!! it's so important in a character like Matteo, who (so far) doesn't seem to be very talkative. When Sara asks him if they're together, you can see how uncomfortable he is with the idea but at the same time it's like he's trying to convince himself that this (being with Sara) is how things are supposed to be. Which, not gonna lie, is sad as fuck.
And finally, the moment in which Matteo asks Sara if she wants to watch a movie with him. She was clearly expecting something else (her face says it all), but Matteo looks content, almost happy. Maybe because of the relief he feels since he doesn't have to kiss her?? or maybe because he has someone keeping him company, someone that likes him and is affectionate with him. In this sense, I feel like Matteo is using Sara not only to pretend he's straight, but also as an emotional support, sort of. Based on the scene in the 2nd clip, he seems like a very touch starved person, craving for some affection, and right now the one who can help with that is Sara.
HIGHLIGHTS: "Should I do some research?" Matteo you absolute disaster gay. Sara being cute and lovely (I really hope she's not like other Emmas).
CLIP 6 aka The Clip™
Okay with this clip I'm going straight to Matteo and David's interactions because this is getting really long, rip.
The way Matteo's whole aura changes around David!! He's really trying hard to come off as a cool guy but David is highkey having none of that shit, I love it. Like when Matteo puts the joint on his ear and says "come on", excuse me? who is this smooth motherfucker and what has he done to my gremlin son? For real now, I love that we got to see this side of Matteo, and I'm really really excited to see more of it.
But also the way David was checking Matteo out when he was looking for the joint like, wow, he seems to really like him already (and I don't even mean in a romantic way, not yet).
The whole conversation they had is a masterpiece and I could say a lot about it, but my favorite parts would be as they follow:
David saying he "murdered someone" (the metaphor is strong here) and the subsequent "I murdered my parents joke" that comes from it. Weird humor sense but Matteo seems to like it, in fact he laughs! for the first time since the season started he seems to be present, invested in the moment, laughing!! Rewatching the episode, the change in Matteo's behaviour is really noticeable, he went from being ausent around his friends and Sara to being incredibly "present" during his conversation with David. Let me just say: poetic cinema.
But also the fact that Matteo hides his smile really quick, like he's still being guarded, like he didn't expect David to make him feel.
The!! eyelash!! thing!! This was such a nice, kinda awkward moment, absolutely my favorite one. Matteo growing some confidence and asking if he gets to make a wish now, licking his lips while looking at David, like... wow. I absolutely love that David asked him what would he had wished for, because it gave us some insight to Matteo's situation: he just wants to go away, which considering all he's been through, makes a lot of sense.
It also gave us some information about David! he said he also wanted to get away and go to Detroit, since that was where the best music came from. I like that with this simple conversation we got to know more about both of them.
Then, the way David's mood changed when Sara came in and kissed Matteo, he looked so... disappointed? He was like "gtg". Also, something I noticed rewatching the episode: when he said goodbye he only looked at Matteo!!
And last but not least, when Sara said "that's him, the guy Leonie has a crush on" and Matteo replied with "no I think that's someone else", I'm genuinely curious about this?? What is Matteo trying to do here?? I guess we'll have to wait 👀
HIGHLIGHTS: Amira, Sam and Kiki looking pretty as always, Matteo's face when Kiki suggested hugging teachers, Photoshop Markus, David's smile.
Anyways, that's it!! This got really long but I had a lot to say!! Druck has officially become my favorite remake, so I might do a review per episode if you guys like it uwu ♡
#druck#druck review#i talk a lot#sorry if im annoying fjshf#this probably has a lot of typos but ive been at it for two days fjsjd
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SHANA HOW DO YOU START WRITING A STORY? I have the idea of how it will end and a VERY BASIC plot, but I've never attempted to write an actual book before and all I have are half-finished stories. How do you start the first chapter and plan for plot-related scenes? How do you weave a narrative out of the tiny bits of actual story I have? Any advice here? :(
oh wow i’m just the WORST at advice!!!
but i talk here about my horrible and messy writing process when it comes to starting a story
and i’ve talked about my shit outlines before, but i guess here take a some examples?
under the cut i’ll put my outlines for cut from the same cloth and chapter three of survival is a talent. idk if can really recommend planning this way because it’s … a disaster, but it’s the way that works best for me ???
also i want no sass from any of you about my horrible outlines, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THEM THEY’RE JUST FOR ME, but i’m making an exception and posting them just as an example of how i plan stories, because i get a lot of asks about it
especially with survival is a talent, you can see my final product deviates from my outline A LOT. so i’m also very against sticking to your outlines.
also, honestly, if it’s under 10k i … probably didn’t even do an outline. i didn’t write a single thing down when i was writing an invincible summer until the partway through third chapter, so more than 50k into writing it
anywho, here you go, i hope this helps???
arranged marriag au
izuku attended UA in the general mprogram, and eventually switched to support
he got one for all when he was 13 and kept it a secret for Reasons
all for one is maybe probably dead? no he’s the big bad. but he hasn’t been active.
all-might is the only dad he’s ever known, his real dad being very absent. inko isn’t thrilled about the turn her sons life has taken, and has a kinda strained relationship with toshi, but she knows her son loves and respects him and she can’t deny him that
all-might’s issues with his form aren’t as bad, and they’re a huge secret - no one but the ua teachers and some other people know. endeavor finds out and threatens to tell everyone, unless izuku marries his son. toshi is fucking pissed that endeavor would even propose that, but izuku doesn’t even have to think about it. he agrees instantly.
his best friends are mei hatsume and hitoshi shinso. bakugou is his best best friend.
he acts under the secret identity deku as all-might’s sidekick. bakugou is also a side kick, and one of the few people that know all his secrets. also one of the few people that are publically known to know both izuku, his childhood bff, and deku, his fighting / hero partner.
his cover is working with mei in her support items company, and he actually does contribute a large amount to that. todoroki thinks he has an intelligence quirk.
everyone thinks izuku has the same quirk as nedzu (high spec), just to a lesser degree, and that he just thought he was quirkless until he went to ua and nedzu took an interest in him. in reality it’s just a cover and he really was quirkless, but now he has one for all.
bakugou to todoroki: he has the same quirk as principal nedzu. if i’m worried about someone, it’s not going to be midoriya.
shouto takes midoriya to this hero social thing, and watches him and bakugou interact, and is like um???????? and everyone is like uh okay, this is fine, it’s nothing to worry about i’m sure.
they go home, shouto is jealous but feels like he doesn’t even have a right to be jealous, and midoriya is like, well, i was hoping to dance with you actually, or sometihng equally sappy, and then they have sex
the just. have a lot of FUCKING sex.
someone kidnaps midorya because he’s shouto’s husband, and a bunch of other people, and the truth comes out when he fucking DESTROYS them
midoriya tells shouto the whole truth, and he has shouto’s mom move in with his mom, and izuku and shouto live happily ever after
oh also deku officially comes out as deku
so, background pairings: aizawa/hizashi, tenya/mei, kirishima/bakugou/uraraka
add in scene where pro heroes are called away “should we all really be going?” “we’re leaving the sidekicks behind, it’ll be fine.”
bakuou discovering his mom has been take. mei being taken for tenya. others. uraraka’s parents. didn’t take someone for everyone, only the top sidekicks.
todoroki did get a message - they’re broadcasting everything. they’re all gathered in izuku’s house. todoroki is a mess. the rest of his family show up. inko and yukiko are fast friends, even in a criss.
bad guy monologue. izuku being like wtf?? discovers all for one is in charge.
shinsou, bakugou, and inko trying to come up with reasons to do nothing. bakugou wants to charge in, even though it’s a trap, but shinsou tells him they’re fine, they don’t know. bakugou is worried that izuku will choose to protext his secret over over saving everyone.
heroe are on their way back. they don’t know what’s going on.
once izuku gets confirmation that all the hostages are in the room with him, he goes wild. hand guy is about to touch mei when he does it. reveals that he’s deku to the world.
bakugou and inko go wild. they all get a text with a location. everyone bucked up to go.
they have to fight all for one. todoroki pov, notices how similar deku and bakugou fighting is to izuku and bakugou dancing.
izuku finally tales all of the one for all quirk to beat all for one. he gets away, but he’s hurt.
family reunion scene. everyoen takes their respective loved ones and bounces. have people reactions to deku.
izuku and shouto have a Talk and then there is Sex
add nezu scene and shiga deciding to send nobus
siat third year
draco keeps offering to curse his cousin and his family. harry discovers that draco has rather a lot of freedom, as his parents, especially his father, is rather busy. draco casually uses the floo network to visit pansy and blaise often. harry thinks draco’s parents are rather cold, and uncaring. draco thinks that harry’s family needs to be cursed.
they got each other bday presents, but are saving them until they see each other at hogwarts. draco got harry gifts from japan, where he visited the past summer with luna and his mother. harry is incredibly worried that draco will think it’s stupid, but he picked the first iris that bloomed and carefully pressed it, and did the same for the most beautiful iris each full moon, so he has a mini boquet of iris flowers.
chapter opens with harry panicking about aunt marge. he calls draco, who tells him to take the knight bus and stay calm. mention the dog. draco’s worried, clearly, but he won’t tell harry why.
draco talks wistfully of meeting harry in diagon, but they know its a bad idea. show a scene of draco with pansy and blaise. mention dobby.
draco is super worried about harry one the train.
mention draco’s silver buttons
add in crookshanks
golden trio have a convo about draco’s dad and allegiances. mention imperio and vertisarium.
draco knows what sirius black being free means because he’s not a moron. it takes a while for him to figure out that harry doesn’t know, then he tells him. draco talks about his cousin. says he’s a black and can’t be trusted. “draco, you’re a black.” “yes, and very few people trust me.”
the thing with buckbeack really is an accident. harry is really worried about draco - it is a lot of blood. lucius comes down, furious. draco tries to tell his dad he’s fine, but he stands up too suddenly and whites out, and lucius has to told him up right. is upset because his son is hurt and because he can’t be affectionate with him in front of all these people. lucius decides buckbeak needs to die.
draco tries to pretend his arm isn’t bothering him, which it is because it’s a magical wound. but pansy does all his chopping and what not and draco just oversees.
draco doesn’t like lupin, and won’t say why. he and hermione have a convo about it, and decided not to say anything, for very different reasons. or he just assumes hermione told him. “i really need to stop assuming people tell you anything”
use polyjuice so harry can go to hogsmead?
draco and the twins develop a friendship.
draco becomes a chaser in 3rd year, and gives harry way more of a run for his money as a chaser. he scores so many points for his team that sometimes even when harry catches the snitch, they still lose. this is also why the twins become friends with him, because they spend a lot of energy constantly trying to knock him off his broom
sirius gets in and draco freaks the fuck out, as do the other slytherins. draco looks him over. sends over luna to sleep by harry, who brings ginny.
snape does werewolf lessons
hufflepuff vs gryffindor game. draco’s the one who performs wingardium leviosa to save him, subtly. only his friends and a couple of professors notice. not a soft or nice fall, but it means he just has bruises and broken bones. later, lupin will realize the wingardium leviosa that saved harry was draco’s was harry. maybe draco’s charm gives dumbledore enough time to cast his?
draco has to go home for christmas because otherwise his parents will go mental. but he gives harry his gift with stern instructions not to open it until christmas. they talk on christmas, and harry sees that draco has already hung the flowers in his room. says his mom helped him. harry asks about his dad, and draco says, “dad doesn’t have an opinion about interior design. mum just does whatever she wants and dad pays for it”
everyone gets together to try and think of a way to save buckbeak, but lucius is pissed
when harry is training with lupin draco bursts in, goes in front of harry, realizes its a boggart when it changes forms, and uses ridiculous to stop it. he then turns his wand on lupin, using the disarming charm. harry wakes up and stops him from cursing him, then when he calms down asking him what he’s thinking. “oh like, you’ve never been attacked by a professor before?” “thats…a fair point.”
except now lupin has seen draco willing to take a dementor’s kiss and fight a professor for harry, so this mortal enemy thing isn’t going to work. draco tells lupin he knows he's’ a werewolf, and threatens to expose him to the school board if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut about all of this. or nah, says his mom said to let her know if lupin so much as looked at him funny, and she would destroy him. draco says and lupin ever hurts harry he’ll use his father’s solution instead, and lupin half smiles and compliments his buttons. draco says yes, they could do a lot of damage, even with simple wingardium leviosa charm. then that lupid realized it was draco who slowed harry’s fall before. draco makes comparison between buckbeak and lupin. harry’s like he’s a werewolf?? “obviously, didn’t granger tell you?” joke about needing a memory charm. lupin knows they’re not enemies, doesn’t know they’re soulmates.
draco taking patronus charm classes alongside harry after the confrontation with lupin.
while hermione is being ostracized by ron and harry. she hangs out with the slytherins. her and draco really do get along scarily well. draco agrees with hermione that the firebolt should be inspected. very odd moment for everyone, really.
scabbers is supposedly eaten by crookshanks
harry says that cho is kinda pretty and draco gets pissy. harry and ron vs draco and hermione. they’re both just like what the fuck m8.
buckbeak verdict is announced. draco is like !!! what do you want me to do ???? and it’s actually ron who’s like don’t worry about it mate, we know you tried, can image my dad would be too pleased if i was mauled by buckbeak
slytherin vs gryffindor game - harry still catches the snitch and they win, but thanks to draco on chaser they only win by 100 points, so slytherin still gets the quidditch cup. wood curses up a storm that malfoy switched to chaser, he’s far too good at it. draco is worried harry will be pissed they got the cup, and he’s a little indignant, but mostly he’s … kinda proud of draco? because there were almost no fouls this game. slytherin won mostly fair and square. lee jordan spends a lot time commentating that malfoy switching to chaser was the worst thing that ever happened to gryffindor.
draco follows them down to hagrids. finally admits that he feels guilty and stiffly apologized to hagrid, saying he tried to talk his dad out of it, but he wouldn’t listen. hagrid is instantly endeared, because he is the best person in all of the hp series. says something about he shouldn’t have brought something that dangerous. draco calls hagrid ‘scamander stock’ and he tries to make it sound like an insult, but by the way hagrid tears up it’s clear it’s a compliment. they see lucius and the executioner coming, and draco panics - his dad will be pissed if he finds him. hagrid hurries all of them out and gives draco and affectionate pat on the way out.
they all end up following into the whomping willow. sirius, lupin, and snape. pettigrew.
draco is more concerned about sirius than lupin - figures a black with a vendetta is more worrisome than a werewolf. look at his mother, after all. he and sirius get into an argument about it all. is like wtf about the scabbers thing.
snape appears, they fight. harry disarms him, and draco is like fuck this noise he uses the memory charm on him from behind, then ron knocks him out. lupin: “i thought you struggled with non corporeal tied charms.” draco: “…. i do.” no one has any idea what condition snape will wake up in. draco’s like if snape finds out about us, that’s fucking it, he’ll never keep the secret. golden trio’s like that’s your head of house!!! and draco shrugs and is like whatever he’s kind of bastard, really. and sirius laughs and says he’s not all bad or something like that.
deal with the pettigrew thing
snape has only lost a few hours worth of memory. he asks why draco was there, and draco is like ??? i saw someone sneaking around and told you and followed you out, what the heck.
draco and harry go back in time. draco knew about the time turner. harry “why does no one tell me anything” potter. he summons a snake, and harry uses parseltongue to tell it what to do. it captures pettigrew. draco and hermione are anxious, looking for whoever cast the patronus, but harry realizes it was him, and does it. they steal buckbeak and take him to sirius. they’ve captured pettigrew. trials are not easy things, so black should stay away until some sort of bail is posted on him or something. but authorities do get called.
pettigrew does escape custody, but not before everyone sees him. so he still helps resurrect voldemort, but the sirius’s trial / case is still be reviewed. MOTHERFUCKING PLOT TWIST lucius agrees to represent sirius in trial. people point out that won’t help his believability any, and naricissa is like my cousin deserves the best and the best is my husband, get fucked.
draco’s talk with lupin. banishes his silver buttons, and says that lupin should stay because he’s a great teacher, and exactly what they’ll need to survive what’s coming. call’s it his “furry little problem” unknowingly echoing james. lupin laughs, lighter. harry bursts in saying he’s heard. draco is like oh good, maybe he’ll listen to you. but lupin ignores them both and ruffles their hair.
silver trio is there. just. reacting to things, hanging out.
ginny sticking her nose in things, while being bffs with luna.
maurader’s map locked so it can’t be changed or altered. our group amends it so it can’t be altered by any but the original six.
add crookshanks and scabbers
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There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.
Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!
..spoke too soon.
-Is it still there, is it still there??
-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!
-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??
After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!
-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?
That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.
-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.
-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.
-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.
..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.
-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what.. It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.
Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.
I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!
OH COME ON
GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT
-Huhu!
How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW
-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!
..well you got me there.
Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.
-No, it’s on YOU.
No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.
-NO THEY’RE NOT
I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU
And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING
-What?? I love babies :)
I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.
Oh. my. god.
-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!
-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo..
We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.
Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.
-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT
NEVER
Whachu doing Vic?
-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..
Well goodbye Daniel I guess!
-..Who the fuck is Daniel?
-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.
-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns.
Name one.
-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.
Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.
-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.
UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.
Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.
-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D
Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.
AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG
-I’m legit fine with this :)
I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.
You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.
Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.
Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.
..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.
-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER
-I may be a cheating bâtard-
-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT
AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!
It was one for the history books!
-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.
Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.
-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.
Is it.. rewriting your article?
-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD
Great. Speaking of blood-
-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:
Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.
-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??
Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:
Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT
-YOUR SOULS
Good luck finding any in this house.
-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.
-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND
Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.
-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.
-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..
-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE
-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu!
-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.
-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!
-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.
-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..
-Pourquoi?
-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!
-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!
-I hate my life.
That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.
KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.
-So this is it. Rock bottom.
I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.
Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR
-K.O
Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.
-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.
Ok, see you soon.
Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.
-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL
It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.
-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP
-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.
-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS
It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?
FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo!
..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.
-The boy’s just following his heart ;)
Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.
Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.
Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.
Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.
-I want to play a game, Alegra.
Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!
-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!
-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.
Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.
Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.
-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull.
You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.
-What?
What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!
-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?
Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.
I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.
-VICTORIA UNION
-Marisa? Is that you?
-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..
-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL
-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?
-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT
-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA
-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?
-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN
-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES
The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.
Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..
Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.
-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.
Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.
Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔
Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:
Tell me how am supposed to live without you,
now that I've been loving you so long,
how am I supposed to live without you,
how am I supposed to carry on,
when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔
FUCK YOU FLORENCE
Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING
Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.
Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.
Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?
OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK
-Huhu!
NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US
Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.
-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-
-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.
-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.
-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM
KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.
Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-
-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.
Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close.
Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.
And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔
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In the most recent chapter of Sakurademonalchemist's fanfiction "Mists of a Dawning Sky", it is said in the fanfic that Iemitsu is an inverted Sky. Do you think that this is a possibility or he just severely delusional and incompetent?
Izzy utterly hates the idea of Inverted/Polarized Flames, so no, I don’t consider it a possibility. Because it is assigning characteristics to people/characters as if that’s all they are. Which is akin to stereo-typing and nothing destroys a character as much as that; it reduces a complex being into a few facets and details and leaves them flat and not interesting. Never mind that it’s a load of assumptions based on too small of a sample size to be conclusive of anything. (Even the amount of Skies shown in KHR which is a greater number than any other Flame means nothing because we get no information other than ‘was former Donna Giglio Nero and Sky Arcobaleno’ or ‘was Vongola Boss at one point.’ We don’t actually have names for Dons 3-6? So we have no idea about their character and inclinations, history etc. So is Bad Science and often leads to Bad Writing and Confusing the Reader because what goes to what?)
Izzy will allow Classical to exist, as Classical Flame refers to ‘oldest and best known example’ which in KHR is the Vongola Famiglia who made Flames a Mafia Thing. And so most of the European Underworld has been influenced by existences of Giotto and his people. As Fon’s existence proves, the Vongola’s not the only Flame Tradition but it best known due to KHR’s narrative focusing on the Vongola. And Primo’s generation founded and is famous, so is the standard for ‘Classical.’
Well, the ‘Classical Ideal of the Vongola and Flames,’ since Propaganda is a Thing and the Mafia would Use it. Especially on a not-bright civilian teenager who wouldn’t recognize it or the implications due to lack of contextual.historical knowledge. It can be assumed that Reborn has Not Taught Tsuna Vongola History, outside of a few snippets here and there since those snippets are presented as New Information. Part of this can be assumed that Reborn is Affiliated to Vongola, not Part Of and so is Outsider so doesn’t know the details.
(If you want evidence of Propaganda at Work you only have to look at what Primo’s Generation is wearing. We may see Nothing Wrong but that’s because standards today amount to ‘not publicly and fully nude’ aka a man wearing swimming shorts or a woman wearing a bikini top and shorts isn’t a scandal in Western Society. Daemon as a Noble would not have his jacket worn open like that; it would be Indecent and Shameful. That they’re presented as such means they’re Viewed as wearing them. And that View had to come from somewhere. Like Propaganda which cares less about facts and more about ideas; specially their idea that they want you to believe in.
More evidence towards Tsuna’s nativity and Reborn using Propaganda is Tsuna’s seeming inability to understand what Vigilantism is. ‘Go back to the Vongola’s roots,’ and ‘following Promo’s ideal’ is one thing to say, another thing to do. Because being a Vigilante means being ‘judge, jury and executioner’ to those ‘caught breaking the law or what is perceived to be law but weren’t punished by the law or a person with authority.’ So when Tsuna says ‘he’s going back to the Vongola’s roots’ what is understood is ‘I’ll kill those who go against what I say, because that’s going against my ideas for the Vongola and going against me.’ Which amounts to ‘I say how you’re going to behave and you’re going to like it or die.’ Which makes Tsuna terrifyingly radical to the Vongola and its allies and a seeming tyrant who rules by ‘I’ll kill you if I catch you going against me.’ Which is not a good thing to be seen as when you’re Foreign, Young and Inexperienced in Politics/Naive.
As a side note: Giotto would have been Terrifying to the masses and his enemies of the time for all that he eventually Charisma’d his way into Powerful People with Money’s good books. Ricardo is remembered for being terrifying and there’s likely documentation to prove it; Giotto had the equivalent of an excellent PR campaign and a ret-con as something as established as reports would have happened after he had Established his Power Base.)
Ramble aside, Having Flames does not equal Competence. Having Flames means you have Immense Willpower/Resolve. Not that your are Skilled. If you want more evidence of that, Tsuna never learns martial arts; he’s moving by just intuition. So no, he’s not a Skilled Fighter; he just happens to have Plot-Devise Instincts. Gokudera having Five Flames does not make him capable of Healing with Sun Flames or capable of winning against Hibari or realizing that his box-weapon has Flaws in design and usage. Hibari having Mist Flames does not make him capable of seeing through Illusions so he creates work-arounds. Shoichi having Sun Flames does not make him a physical juggernaut or someone with superhuman reflexes like Reborn. Having Rain Flames does not make Squalo or Bluebell a Chill and Laid-back person. Flames do not equal Competence or Ability.
Iemtisu has his areas of competence. He’s very physically strong, capable of Dying Will Mode and Hyper Dying Will Mode as he Taught Basil How To Use. He somehow managed to convince Nana to marry him and stay madly in love with him. He somehow gained the position of CEDEF Boss; either he convinced Nono to put him there or rose on his merits. Considering Iemitsu’s Bloodline and Good Relationship with Nono, it’s probably that he either Volunteered or was Appointed to CEDEF because of Politics. Specifically those concerning Succession.
He is not however a very good leader, manager or politician or a father; in any area when dealing with people outside the frame of ‘enemies he’s allowed to kill’ he’s terrible in how he treats and interacts with people.
In the Curse of the Rainbow Arc, he leaves his subordinates and team to go beat up his son without knocking him out of the competition. Which leaves his team vulnerable to Mukuro and Verde and they all pretty much get knocked out. Bad leadership.
Him being a shitty person: using Basil as a Decoy, using Dino to deliver rings while also hitching a ride with him, how he got children drunk, the sheer disrespect inherent in him passing out drunk in the front room, how he ignored Tsuna’s personal space to give his son the Sky Ring, Lambo getting the Lightning Ring on the gamble of the 10YL Bazooka, having a terrible plan for investigating the Iron Fort resulting in him killing Vongola people, lying to his wife, lying to his son etc. He Uses People and Abuses their trust/faith in him.
His subordinates get onto him about paperwork. Iemitsu falls asleep at his desk. In Japan, it’s a sign of hard work. In Italy, it is saying you are irresponsible by not getting enough sleep. It can also be a sign of Boredom and Inattentiveness. He gets much more animated when Colonello comes in and the Chance to Leave the Office is presented. Does this sound like the sort of person you want running Intelligence and Internal Investigations within the Vongola? The Details Bore Him. People bore him. Those People Are Not Important.
Iemitsu despite being part of the CEDEF has no head for Politics. Because despite having inherited the Vongola Blood-gift of Hyper Intuition he doesn’t figure out Xanxus has kidnapped Nono, because it would be Politically Useful to have him away so that a decoy could play. Instead Iemitsu gets Baited and goes back to Italy, leaving Basil in Japan, his son without his support and then goes and raids the Iron Fort. After escaping and getting shot by the Nono-double. He finds out Mosca-details but there is no way to communicate such to Tsuna and co because Bad Planning has them pinned down under the Iron Fort. He also doesn’t seem to realize how using Dino as Mail-Pony could impact the Alliance between the Cavallone and Vongola; especially after using Basil as a decoy. He Lacks Understanding of Consequences.
To Summerize: Iemitsu doesn’t Get People and Doesn’t Understand Consequences. By behavior the Only People Important to Him is Nono who he serves and doesn’t leave, going out of his way to ‘save’ him when he thought Nono was Imperiled. As consequence he’s Powerful Sky but not inclined to Bond People because they don’t matter and they should matter if they’re going to be his.
In Effect this means Iemitsu isn’t Inverted Sky but Mentally Ill. As it isn’t Obvious Mental Illness with Inability to Function, this is Undiagnosed. Because Iemitsu has always been Iemitsu. And an Idiot.
Izzy and Umei postulate that Sawada Iemitsu suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Because it fits and Iemitsu has a proven Pattern of Behavior Over Years. And yes, because of this he is Incompetent when it comes to dealing with People and Emotions so is Poor at Politics and at Understanding People and Politics beyond a very simplistic view. Where he is Always Right, because he Matters.
Despite this, Izzy believes he’s still probably more competent than Trump; Iemitsu is at least coherently articulate if no less delusional and has good subordinates who aren’t out to set the nation into a fucking disaster and laughingstock.
#Izzy answers#Izzy rambles#Izzy hates Iemitsu for the things he does#not for being an interesting character#who happens to be a shitstain#with few redeeming features#namely you can see why Nono keeps him despite being a disaster#because Iemitsu is Powerful and Loyal#Iemitsu is the 'Young Lion of the Vongola'#Not 'Young Lion of the CEDEF'#and that's Telling#and has Implications
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How did each character in the ghost au die? :00 (rubs my nasty little hands together i love character death)
HOOOG THANKS FOR ASKING ANON
for a little context, in this au, everyone is living in our world rather than the lego world, so things are a little more realistic. none of the characters have met each other before except for a select few, and some of them have died already before the events of the au really kick off. Also, in this au, lord business is the same as the man upstairs/finn’s dad
this about to get long and also sorta fucked up so,,, you have been warned
Emmet in this au is much the same as he was in the movie; a normal construction worker with no friends and not much of a life, but deep inside a longing to be recognized and remembered. He dies in an accident on the job, falling from high up on the construction site and landing directly on a broken pole. Because his death was so sudden, he doesn’t realize his state for a long time, and believes people cared so little that they didn’t notice or bother to help him and let him die there (in reality an ambulance was called but the nature of his death meant it was pretty much instant and there was no saving him). His soul remained on earth because of his desperation to be cared about.
Wyldstyle and Batman in this au are indeed dating, but they’re not really kick-butt heroes or anything. They’re dumb college kids who mostly waste their life getting drunk/high and throwing parties at Bat’s parent’s house. Wyldstyle does have ambition to make a career out of her art but getting there is hard and her mentor/adoptive father Vitruvius just died (of natural causes in this au lol). She dies in an accident involving her doing drunk motorcycle stunts at one of the parties, though she never really specifies what happened exactly. The cause of her death is her secret shame, because she doesn’t like to admit she was falling behind in her own life, and it hurts that she never really got to get her art out there for such a stupid reason. She stays behind because she can’t admit the truth about her struggles with her self esteem.
Benny is sort of obvious, he is an old astronaut who died in a challenger-like disaster in the 80′s. Being largely forgotten and not interacted with for a long time, he’s slowly forgotten who he is and why he’s even here beyond some basic personal information. Due to this his ghostly form doesn’t have a face, and he floats around in his astronaut suit. However, because he’s not clinging to his humanity as much, he’s also a little more powerful as a ghost, and will mess around with people/haunt places for fun.
Unikitty is actually a child in this au, and is probably the most fucked up death out of all of them. She lived in a house of neglectful parents, whose carelessness eventually led to their house burning down, with Kit in it. Because she is so young her soul is less attached to her physical body’s form, and will change uncontrollably with her mood and her imagination. Usually she takes the form of a cute cat-themed pink princess, because that’s how she liked to see herself. But when she’s upset/angered/reminded of her death, she becomes surrounded in flames, and sometimes can be so powerful as to set physical things on fire.
GCBC were brothers, and both “cops” in their own right, GC being a security guard, and BC being a detective. Their careers had the unfortunate circumstance of crossing paths while BC was on the tail of a suspect, who ran into GC’s building. The suspect shot GC, and walking in to see his brother on the floor bleeding was so shocking, that BC didn’t have time to react to the suspect pulling a gun on him as well. They died on top of each other, concerned for one another, which lead to their souls intertwining into one. Later on, they discover this has a side effect of creating a new personality from their combined spirits, Scribble, who works as a mediator between their souls.
Metalbeard was actually an old disabled man, who grew up on pirate stories and dreamed all his life of sailing the ocean. Unfortunately, due to being born without the ability to walk, he never got around to pursuing his dreams, and eventually died of old age. Once realizing nothing was holding him back in death, he decided to present himself as an old pirate and explore the world as a spirit. However, he does have to return to his place of death frequently or else he starts fading. He is terrified of disappearing before he “sees it all.”
Finally, Lord Business was actually once just Finn’s father in this au. However, he has basically similar problems that LB has in the movie. A need for control based in insecurities about being insignificant in the world. He copes by having total control over his lego collection, and also by having total control of his son, who he often takes his anger out on unfairly. Before his death, he and Finn had a horrible falling out, which led to him storming off for work early without apologizing. Due to being so distracted by his anger while driving in a rainstorm, he ended up in a car accident and died traumatically. He awoke as a ghost with no memory except that he was to “take care of business,” and that he was very very angry, and needed to control… something. This leads him to take the name “Business” and start working towards taking territory from other ghosts.
Aaaaand that’s everybody. I know Batman isn’t here but it’s because he also didn’t die (for a while I entertained the idea of him dying of a drug overdose but honestly it didn’t fit well enough with his character or the story, even with the changes). Yeah I know all of this is angsty as FUCK but that’s the fun of this au, and also I promise there are lots of funny moments too, it’s just the deaths sort of…. are not very funny because they all need to be sad/traumatic for the characters to have reason to stick around after death.
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Why did Rhaegar crown Lyanna at Harrenhal?
The closer we get to season 7 and, possibly, more substantial information about Lyanna and Rhaegar - the more I agonize over it. This being the Internet I doubt that anything I could say is a fresh concept, but I’m frustrated by some of the dialog and I wanted to type out my own perspective.
Rhaegar seems to be viewed as either a lovestruck romantic hero or as a man obsessed with prophecy, who makes destructive choices and does horrible things in the name of fulfilling it. He is either woobified or the ultimate fuck boy. And, while I think assuming the worst of someone’s character is most reliable in ASOIAF, I will admit to wanting Rhaegar and his motivations/actions to be redeemable.
My point: I believe Rhaegar isn’t politicized enough within the fandom - he is part of the “magical” storyline - and I think the key to understanding the Lyanna/Rhaegar dynamic lies with the events at Harrenhal...
... Specifically the Knight of the Laughing Tree.
First, it is possible that crowning Lyanna had nothing to do with Lyanna herself. After all, they had likely never met before Harrenhal and there is no publicly held recollection of them interacting outside of the moment at the tourney. Rhaegar could have simply meant to shame Elia. He could have wanted to tweak Robert Baratheon’s pride. He could have meant to tarnish House Stark. He could have been bored and wanted to stir up trouble. Rhaegar may even have intended to incite his father’s suspicions or deflect them onto a nonexistent allegiance.
None of that seems likely. Rhaegar is not widely believed to be cruel or reckless, and this level of sociopathy would likely leave a trail, the way Joffrey’s did. (Caveat: Lyanna Stark.) And the fact that Rhaegar abducted (or ran away with) Lyanna strongly implies a connection.
If you don’t believe that Lyanna is the Knight of the Laughing Tree, there are then only two options for why Rhaegar crowned Lyanna ‘Queen of Love and Beauty.’ Rhaegar could be either overwhelmed by love and/or lust for Lyanna or, as his father’s advisors believe, he could be trying to recruit House Stark to his cause. Both options show a startling lack of awareness as to how this move will be received by Lyanna, her family and Westerosi nobility at large - and this is possible. Rhaegar could certainly be out of touch with the larger society or so arrogant as to think that normal social mores did not apply to him.
But, if Rhaegar was so ill-equipped to handle society, there would surely be other specific examples in textual evidence. And there is no evidence for Rhaegar to have succumbed to an all consuming love - nor is this type of fervor ever attributed to his character in text. (The gap between Harrenhal and Lyanna’s ‘abduction’ helps support this.)
If you, however, believe that Lyanna is the Knight of the Laughing Tree, there are additional motivations available to us. Rhaegar could have intended to show his esteem for Lyanna’s actions the only way he could without revealing her identity. But again, this shows a lack of cultural and societal awareness that seems unlikely.
My theory is that Rhaegar crowned Lyanna in a calculated risk - that gossip about their (as of yet) nonexistent relationship, and the mutual dishonor implied, was preferable to continued gossip about the Knight of the Laughing Tree.
Consider the circumstances in which the tourney happened in the first place. Either Rhaegar was making a calculated overture to usurp his father (and was betrayed) or his father’s advisors were so intent on undermining him that they were able to convince paranoid Aerys that he was planning to do so. This prompted the King to leave the Red Keep for the first time in four years - and certainly his unkept, mad appearance further undermined his rule and the Targaryen dynasty, while his presence kept allegiance from coalescing further around Rhaegar.
In any case, Rhaegar certainly knew his father was unbalanced - he had already started burning men alive. And, whatever he thought he could do about it, as long as the King had people who would enable these worst impulses for their own benefit, Rhaegar’s options were limited.
Which is why Aerys ordering Rhaegar to find the Knight of the Laughing Tree could have been disastrous. Rhaegar, and most of the nobility present, likely did not believe the mystery knight to be a threat to the realm - a curiosity surely, but not likely one that could harm the King. However, there were only a handful of possibly outcomes once the King has decided that the mystery knight was one:
1) Rhaegar finds the knight, presents him to his father, and the King has the knight executed. Depending on the knight’s true identity, this turns some of the highborn and lowborn attendees of the tourney against the King and his family.
2) Rhaegar does not find the knight, his father believes Rhaegar is conspiring against him with the knight, and other men are sent out to hunt him down. Leading to:
3) Other men are sent out to look for the knight and they return either empty handed (and are punished for failure), with the true knight (who is then executed), or a convenient patsy (who is also then executed, but which may snowball depending on the mystery knight’s motivations).
If Lyanna had been brought before the King, the ramifications were disastrous. Lyanna’s reputation would be, at minimum, ruined, but her gender may also lead the King to feel mocked and ensure her torture and execution. The King may believe that she is protecting one of her brothers, order their arrest and questioning, and execute one (or more) of them. It does not seem to be a leap in logic to suggest that tying House Stark in any significant way to the mystery knight could lead to a sequence of events that force the North into open rebellion.
So Rhaegar attempts to thread the needle - he brings proof (the shield) of the mystery knight’s existence to his father, while also insisting that the knight himself was long gone.
There remain two problems: 1) how Rhaegar discovered the shield and 2) the continued interest in the mystery knight.
Rhaegar reports that the shield was discovered abandoned on a tree branch, and this could possibly be true. He may have just decided to search the area and lucked upon it, and may have lucked upon Lyanna placing the shield there besides. But it seems more likely, and more potentially damaging, that Rhaegar discovered Lyanna (who probably never assumed that her stunt would anger the king) by asking the right people the right questions.
The Knight of the Laughing Tree provided a motivation for their jousts, and the three squires that needed to be taught manners were likely all still present. Being questioned by the Prince almost certainly turned up the story about their mutual assault on the crannogman, as well as a host of other sins.
It is entirely possible that the squires themselves did not recognize Howland Reed or Lyanna Stark, and did not know what Houses they came from. However, they likely were able to provide a description - and Rhaegar was able to identify Lyanna and Howland from that, much the way they had identified the squires. (I am particularly fond of the idea that Lyanna dumping wine on Benjen’s head was not just characterization, but they way Rhaegar first noticed her and Howland - and what allowed Rhaegar to put the pieces together.)
Even if this is not the case, the Weirwood emblem might have steered Rhaegar towards northern suspects and would likely have led him to the Starks sooner or later, for information or questioning.
However, if Rhaegar was able to piece together the identity of the mystery knight, it seems likely that someone else could as well. (And, with the King’s interest, and the growing tension between father and son, there would be plenty of motivation.) There is also the chance that someone saw Rhaegar and Lyanna together while they were either planting or retrieving the shield for Rhaegar to discover to end the matter. By publicly tying himself to Lyanna, Rhaegar provides cover for the idle gossip of the court and hopefully signals to any that seek to expose her that she has his protection.
Which leads us back to King Aerys. Everything we know about Aerys - his paranoia, his insecurities, etc. - point to him being particularly susceptible to gossip, especially gossip that slights him in any way. (For example, the root of his fallout with Tywin.) The Mad King went to Harrenhal expecting dissent and treason, and he was determined that he found it in the mystery knight. While Rhaegar’s presentation of the knight’s shield may have soothed some of his suspicions (or just refocused them on Rhaegar himself), King Aerys would have found any continued gossip or speculation about the mystery knight intolerable.
How easy it would have been for Aerys to do something rash.
The surest way to end gossip, or end a particular train of gossip, is to provide something even more scandalous and shocking. Rhaegar likely had some awareness of this - though the songs and stories he read would not have prepared him for the messiness of the consequences. The tourney provided the stage; his victory, the means to gain control of the narrative; the crown of winter roses the way to tie it all the pieces together and make the truth harder to separate out.
And, on some level, it was a success. Rhaegar’s crowning of Lyanna is what people remember from the tourney, so much so that Bran doesn’t hear about the mystery knight at all - until the Reeds tell him. On the other hand, in diverting disaster in the moment, Rhaegar helped lay the groundwork for the rebellion that would follow.
#Rhaegar Problematic#rhaegar targaryen#lyanna stark#mad king aerys#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire#knight of the laughing tree
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