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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years

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the wicked day

hey guys. i'm back with my random and annoying merlin thoughts. i should be studying for my bio quiz, but yk- i don't want to :,) love you @lady-ofmagic-andstars✨enjoy✨

literally every time i'm going watching i'm going to comment on john hurt that says young man instead of young boy

it's so subtle but wow. thanks i didn't need to be hurt so early on in the episode

i know i know i'm basically a child but this is so exciting

merlin is so cute

aw no not arthur being pouty abt his big birthday

I LOVE THE 'i heard that' thing so much. i love it i love it

off topic, but i love knife throwing. i've always thought that if i had to choose a weapon that's not a gun, i'd choose knifes. swords? maces? crossbows? sure. but knives?? that's where it's really at

i love arthur not wanting to overburden their citizens

ok uther? i hate him

but here? i love him

he's a good dad here. remembering arthur's birthday? that's so sweet. uther in season 4 is the only time i semi like him

AW ARTHUR AND UTHER AT DINNER

i love them

off topic but i like that arthur is wearing his 'every day' clothes, jacket and a tunic under his cape. that's it. the knights are all wearing his garb but arthur is just wearing his 'regular clothes'

hehe gwen being nervous about arthur being on the wheel is so sweet

idk why but i always get nervous at that last knife.

like of COURSe i know he's not going to get hit but it's scary.

the 'not wearing any trousers' thing omg. bbc really decided to do that

i wish we had more of this parental dynamic of arthur and uther

dam alright arthur. being out of it but still being in it enough to see the guy in the reflection? i stan

SKLFJASLDFJA uther fighting to protect arthur

literally me through his whole scene going 'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' on repeat.

so off topic but i kind of like the hairstyle they have for most of the guys in this show?? idk is that weird

oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez uther dying

like, i HATe him. i've been waiting for this since season 1 but this scene makes me sad

ok i don't remember the last episode of merlin so i forget what arthur says when he's dying in merlin's arms??

it's something like 'hold me' right? i feel like that has the same energy as 'stay with me' so while i can't exactly say this is sort of parallel, it's sort of parallel?

i mean, ok 1. dying in someone else's arms. 2. dying in the arms of someone you love? romantically, platonically, familial? doesn't matter. both uther and arthur died in the arms of someone they loved. 3. i'm just gonna say 'hold me' and 'stay with me' have the SAME energy, so if no one has called semi-parallels, i'm calling semi-parallels

bradley's single tear

stfu agarvaine. i'm serious. legit everytime he shows up i wanna pow pow pow him

legit. agaravaine needs to get away from morgana.

DO NOT GRAB HER ARM MISTER. LET GO OF HER

I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER. LET GO OF HER RN

i've said it once and i'll say it again, i love gwen

not to romanticize death or anything but i like candle light vigils.

ok maybe slightly symbolic but probably not? ok actually i think it is, not to toot my own horn but this is also just really straightforward too.

arthur wearing 'street garb' and his 'knight stuff' sort of differentiates between 'arthur' and 'prince arthur'. the scene where merlin and arthur are looking over the vigil and merlin's talking about how there's nothing that can be done, and arthur mentions using magic, i may be off about this but i feel like he's speaking more from prince arthur rather than arthur, uther is my father.

like of course arthur's hurting, everyone knows he's hurting. but idk. i feel like he feels like he's not ready to be king. he needs more time, and he can't be king yet. so therefore, prince arthur is talking about needing to save their king.

gaius and merlin are both right here. idk what else to say.

wow merlin 'you can't stop me' love that

jeez 'maybe this is my chance to change that' little do you know what's happening soon merlin.

oh shoot.

arthur asking merlin if he would use magic to save his father? i'm just thinking back to merlin crying, but not crying over balinor because he couldn't tell arthur, and merlin having to mourn his father in secret. vs. arthur, asking merlin for advice. sharing all his worries and insecurities with gwen. begging gaius to do something more for his father. this just makes me so sad

arthur TRUSTING merlin. with everything. taking merlin's opinion on things and aw

this is dumb but tbh i really like merlin's outfit. like tbh i think i dress in the same sort of style, just ✨modern✨ sadly, no neckerchief for me but i do have a necklace that says 'heather' despite my name being 'ashley'. ily conan gray

ugh. arthur calling merlin a coward but also calling him brave?? you need to pick a side arthur

LMAO ARTHUR STOP THINKING ABOUT WATCHING MERLIN PEE

bruh arthur breaking the vase. it's so dumb but merlin referring to the vase over and over actually makes me chuckle

ok merlin going 'you have come to kill me?' reminds me of another show but i can't remember but i thought i'd put it out here anyways

oh shoot i just realized/remember that uther got stabbed on arthur's birthday. hell of a gift am i right 😭

hehe arthur 'sweeping' with the broom. silly goose

dragoon sounds so vulnerable asking for the right to use magic freely

i love you arthur. this scene, i'm like YES. arthur i love him

i love the saying 'my word'. like, i don't want people to promise me anything anymore. i want them to give me their word.

HAHA THIS IS SO DUMB. MERLIN SAYING 'QUESTIONS. SO MANY QUESTIONS'. I LITERALLY SAY IT WITH THE SHOW EVERY TIME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

aw arthur just sitting there with the cup and trying not to break it HAHA he's so sweet. slightly scared after that vase yk what i mean

ok i don't like morgana and everything but that necklace? that's a stroke of genius. yes girl. make up the plan as you go along

frick you agarvaine. do not scare gwen you PERV

jeez agarvainewas SO rude putting that necklace onto uther. like yes, ik you don't like him but STILL. that's just rude

i'm going to start calling people toads now

hehe arthur closing his door and merlin being right there. it's not necessarily a trope but it totally is and i love it

ah yes. merlin and the tavern. i feel like it's been referred to before but it's still funny.

ok ik arthur carrying merlin is there for kicks for the kids but i laughed anyways

apparently i have the humor of a 10 year old

this is really dumb but the scene with arthur and the two guards. i'm just thinking 'how tall are these guards'. ofc ik that the staging/perception could be doing something that might be making arthur look shorter, but my first reaction was 'bradley is 6' just how tall are these guards??'

merlin's speech about magic makes me sad

aw 'i hope, one day, that you'll see me in a different light'

dragoon has the same effect on arthur as merlin does

uther waking up 😭

AW. UTHER'S LITTLE SIGH AND THEN 'ARTHUR' BREAK MY HEART COVEY. BREAK IT A THOUSAND TIMES.

they're both so happy. this makes me so sad now. oh jeez. oh jeez. oh jeez

oh jeez oh jeez merlin's expression. AW merlin gave arthur his word. oh jeez this is very stressful and i'm only watching this

ok obviously. merlin doesn't want to see arthur in pain. but ALSO this was merlin's chance to change things once and for all. and now uther is dead. #no liam just payne

arthur's face post crying. skf;aldjfa;ldk AW

frick you agarvaine. literally die. i can't wait for merlin to kill you

i think this scene is pretty. the light on the left and the dark on the right? ok actually, i'm going to be making an off base comparison now because that's all i do.

i'm remembering this post i saw on here and it was like, arthur uther and morgana in the throne room. in order of the way they sit in the throne room, first it's arthur, uther, and then morgana

well. the really dumb and off base comparison here is the 'light' goodness of arthur and the 'dark' evil of morgana being mirrored in the picture above.

'light', bravery, doing what's right- being on the left. 'dark', evil, power on the right- and arthur in the middle of it, king

like i said, it's a dumb off base comparison, but at least the picture is pretty

oh jeez this scene

my heart breaks for both of them

merlin not being able to form a sentence at first.

😭😭😭😭 arthur please. you're breaking everyone's heart right now

you already knew i had to include this scene

arthur walking in there all alone

oh jeez he's all alone

dumb parallel number 2. arthur walking into the throne room with uther, father and son. merlin and gaius closing the door for arthur- pseudo father and pseudo son.

'he'll never know who i really am'

i want to do a DEH post soon but jeez. the line that hits hardest for me in DEH is 'i never let them see the worst of me. cause what if everyone saw? what if everyone knew? would they like what they saw? or would they hate it too? and jeez that's all i can think about when i think about merlin and his secrets

again. no liam, just payne

asldkfja;sldkfjas dlf merlin waiting for arthur

i have so many feelings

i love the show of affections for his father. you already know that uther wasn't affectionate when arthur was growing up, but still. forehead kiss? i love it

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU WERE ALONE. i hate this and love this so much. i'm not saying merlin is completely selfless, because merlin wants magic to be leagalized and arthur is the way to do that. but omg merlin not wanting for arthur to feel like he's alone breaks me

first, merlin being physically alone while waiting for arthur. arthur was technically alone too, but he was with his father

but also, merlin being alone in the sense of his magic. no one knows except for gaius. lancelot knew and then they killed him. merlin is so alone when it comes to his magic, and morgana's enchantment only pushes merlin into his 'magic shell' more. arthur thinks magic is pure evil, and merlin is made of magic. what does that mean would think of arthur. this hurts me so much i'm so sad

friend 😭

arthur asking if he's hungry and them getting breakfast together

ok this sound track

pendragon red. i actually stan

gwen wearing a purple dress?? color symbolism?? nah i'm over thinking

ASIFA;SDLFJAD HE'S KING OF CAMELOT

IT'S LIKE I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.

oh jeez oh jeez.

and merlin saying 'long live the king' at the end of the episode?

chills

Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about aithusa so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye

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whathappenedtomyweekend · 3 years

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It’s Just A Spark Ch. 11 - Stormy Seas

"Hiccup, maybe - maybe we should postpone this."

Astrid's voice was muffled against his chest, and contrary to her words, she only clung tighter to him when he tried to pull back, confused.

"What do you mean?"

She exhaled, her breath hot in the wool.

"I've been thinking, and it's … wrong holding you back, if it's such a big storm. I just think that maybe you should be at the department," this wasn't at all what she wanted, why did she tell him to? "in case something happens and they need you."

Hiccup froze at her words, coldly remembering that yes, he had a job and YES, she was right, he should be doing it.

'Shit.'

Yet, they were still holding each other and Hiccup couldn't help but think that maybe he could be selfish for once.

'I don't feel like being responsible right now,' he thought and sighed.

"I'll call Gobber," he said reluctantly instead, nuzzling her neck.

She pulled back and smiled at him, almost apologetically.

"Sorry."

"No, you're right. I should be on alert - that's my job after all."

Reluctantly, he unwrapped his arms around her and pulled his phone out of his pocket, Gobber's work number on speed-dial. While it was ringing, he started aimlessly wandering around in a feeble attempt to calm his furious heart.

His collegue's voice was oddly cheery when he picked up.

"We were just placing bets on when you'd call - I win by the way, Snot, hand me my 5 quid."

Hiccup stopped in his tracks through the door of the living room, confused.

"Why - why would you bet 5 quid on a phone call? And wh-"

"We're working in a network here, sonny, so you better get back to what you were doing before you remembered you have job."

"Gobber-"

"We know you have a date, Hiccup, and this storm is your chance to get a move on!" Snotlout shouted in the background, who apparently was having the time of his life.

By now, Hiccup's face was burning. He also knew now just why Gobber's voice had sounded so goddamn sprightly.

"Gobber," he repeated, pinching the bridge of his nose, well aware Astrid had followed him into the living room, watching him intently from her seat on the sofa next to Toothless. "Do you need me at work or not?"

The older man chuckled shortly, but sombered again. "No," he replied. "We've got it covered, boy, don't worry. Berk's seen many storms like this and the banks we set up will hold up fine."

He threw Astrid a quick glance, not to let on how relieved he actually was by Gobber's words.

"Okay, good," he paused for a second. "By the way, was Dad the one who …"

"Yes, he did. Which reminds me, actually - tomorrow's your day off."

"What day off?"

"Well," Gobber grinned audibly. "You have enough overtime for a whole day, so there you go. Consider it a late birthday present. Or just a really early one, depending from which perspective you view this."

Hiccup closed his eyes, wondering if he could become any redder. He wished Astrid would look somewhere else than his direction.

"This is probably illegal," he wheezed, flitting his eyes over to her. "But thanks."

She was gnawing at her lip, obviously trying to hold back her laughter.

"Then … I'll, uh, see you on Sunday."

He hung up, not before hearing Snotlout's whooping laughter in the background.

"So, I, uh," he started, broke off and cleared his throat, avoiding her gaze.

"I don't have to report back at work. And apparently I just got tomorrow off."

To his surprise, she didn't laugh. Instead, she furrowed her brow and asked, "Is he allowed to do that?"

He paused and plopped down on the sofa next to her. "Technically yes, but also, no. I do have some overtime, but it's definitely not enough for a whole day off."

Astrid dropped against him, her fringes tickling his neck. Almost by default, his arm went around her.

Her voice was muffled when she spoke, hiding her wide grin in his shoulder.

"That's some grade A wingman you got there."

Hiccup snorted, momentarily distracted by her arms around him and her face pressing into his side.

"Well … is it working?"

His voice was soft and light when he spoke, which made her lift her head to look at him again. She was met with a small, questioning smile and his warm, honest eyes.

"Maybe," she murmured back, a smile already blossiming on her lips. He grinned back, and

it was only then she became fully aware of the position they'd brought themselves in so casually, halfly holding each other on the sofa.

"It's getting dark already," she heard herself whisper then and felt him shift slightly underneath her.

"I didn't notice," he husked back, his eyes focused entirely on her.

There it was again, this look. Astrid felt her heart flutter at the intensity of it.

He was leaning down, just a bit.

She inhaled his warm, soapy scent and leaned further against him.

It was inch by inch, or maybe it happened in the blink of an eye, but suddenly there was barely any space left between their faces and-

A piercing, sharp sound tore through the raging sky, making them jump apart, away from each other, as if embarassed at being caught by the weather.

For a moment, they looked at each other in silence, their legs still touching, her hand clutching the material of his jumper. Laughter bubbled up between them, until they inched closer again.

From his spot near the window, Toothless was watching the humans clumsily return to their previous position, their faces turned away from each other again. He jumped down from the window sill to assume his new favourite spot on the sofa.

So he settled on Astrid's lap, closed his eyes and let her gently comb her fingers through his fur.

"Chin-scratch," Hiccup commented lowly at her minitrastrions. "He loves that one."

They sat in comfortable silence, his arm around her again, her legs curled up, head against his shoulder, Toothless on her lap.

"I must say, I'm impressed," he murmured after a while. "You already got him to purr."

She smiled and closed her eyes. "Maybe I'm just a natural. But it's sort of my job."

Hiccup chuckled lowly. "What, to make my cat happy?"

"Maybe. Maybe I should quit the shop too in two weeks and you just hire me as your cat-sitter."

"Being my girlfriend doesn't include that?"

Astrid grinned, her heart singing at his words, shooting him a quick, coy smile.

"No, that's extra."

"Shame," he commented, mockingly serious, his other arm coming around her to fully hold her, his head dropping on her shoulder. "Here I was, thinking it was an all-inclusive deal."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"Eh, I'll get over it," he teased back, his grip around her tightening in contrast to his words. He was feeling light, if not a bit dizzy, her scent surrounding him, and he knew every bit of reason he had had left about half an hour ago.

They fell into comfortable silence until he piped up, "Yesterday when I called you, you were talking to a collegue in the bar and, uh … Stellar?"

Astrid laughed brightly. "You heard that, huh? That was Heather, she's been in for a couple months. Basically what happened was was her saying she can't call me Ass-strid at work, so she tried Asteroid, didn't like that either and went with Stellar to keep the space-theme."

She laughed again and Hiccup felt warmth spread all over his body at that sound, revelling in it.

"She makes work suck a bit less, you know," she added, smiling lightly. Astrid sat up and leaned back into the sofa, resting her head on her bent arm, watching him intently.

He felt heat rush into his cheeks at her concentrated gaze on him. They were still sitting way too close and at the same time not close enough. Astrid found herself contemplating to lean back into him, just for the sake of proximity.

When she spoke again, her voice was soft.

"You've been doing night shifts ever since we met."

Hiccup thought back to how he'd always been flustered when talking to other people. Distracted, like he was searching for something else.

With Astrid, his attention was entirely focused on her.

"I focus better at night," he started, without really knowing where they were coming from. "When I'm working, at least."

'Right now, I'm paying more attention to your eyes than to my words.'

"That's why I'm always writing my reports at night and take so many night shifts. Technically we're limited to three per week, but, uh. Well. We can alternate between shifts, which … do you remember the day I brought you the lasagna?"

Astrid nodded, smiling slightly at the memory.

"I was on maintenance duty that morning, so I had time to drop by because I wasn't scheduled for calls. A usual shift's 9-12 hours, except for Gobber, who's our senior and Company Officer," he grinned. "But don't think that's stopping him. Sometimes he'll be in longer than me. He loves this job."

Astrid was smiling and tilted her head slightly. "Tell me about him?"

Hiccup let out a small chuckle. "I've known him since I could think. Grew up with him. He's my Dad's best friend, my godfather … co-parent after we lost Mum. He's also the, uh, Sometimes Drunk Uncle …"

Astrid laughed at that, making his heart speed up and his skin tingle.

"Whenever I'd have a fight with Dad, I'd just … pack a couple things and crash on Gobber's couch for a few days. After I moved out, Gobber moved in, all while training me. I started pretty early, I think … three years ago? Four? More or less."

He let out a small chuckle and watched her curl her legs under her so they rested against him, shifting closer. Her eyes were sparkling in the low light of the living room.

"I can't believe I never asked you about this," she blurted. This was such a big part of him and who he was, she felt herself being completely captivated by it. He laughed, running a hand through his hair, his hand brushing her thighs as it came down. After a short moment of hesitation, he rested it on her thigh, his gaze searching hers as if silently asking for permission. He smile widened and she nodded ever so slightly.

"It's okay," he mumbled. "Just a job, right?"

"You love it, though," she retorted, grinning teasingly.

He hummed, eyes back on her now. "You're right, maybe I do," he murmured and Astrid couldn't help but think he meant something else entirely.

Doing the dishes proved to be way more fun with another person around, Astrid found. She was leaning against the counter, back in the kitchen, drying piece after piece of cutlery and dish Hiccup handed her.

He was talking, voice low and soft, and in the dim light of his warm kitchen, it was all the easier wishing this could be a daily occurence.

"I think it's quite therapeutic," he murmured, turning the glass he was washing in his hands. "It's a mindless activity. Helps you keep both feet on the ground. You can sort out your thoughts."

She hummed. He paused, shooting her a quick smile.

"You don't think so?"

Astrid shrugged hesitantly. "Maybe I'm biased. Back at Puffin Point, I was the one to take care of everything, so everything involving the house became less of a chore, more of a burden. So I never really liked it that much," she confessed, feeling a bit silly telling him this while drying his dishes.

She paused for a second, her eyes on the plate she was holding, then she softly added, "But I guess I could get used to this."

He cracked a lopsided grin at that and leant against the sink.

"Well," he uttered, eyes fixed on her with an enigmatic expression. "I for one wouldn't want anyone else's dirty dishes in my sink."

The storm was getting even worse towards the evening. Toothless had retreated into Astrid's lap, his nervous energy wearing off after a few minutes of her combing her gentle fingers through his fur and murmuring softly, incoherent to Hiccup's ears.

He didn't mind at all. In fact, he could watch this all night. Leaning on the other end of the sofa, his prosthetic leg between her and the edge of the sofa, he was watching her comforting Toothless as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Despite the storm raging outside, the wind howling and rattling at the blinds, he was feeling the warmest and safest he had been in a while.

He could feel himself dozing off shortly and jolting awake, only to be lulled back to sleep again, Astrid's calm and quiet voice and Toothless' purrs surrounding him like a lullaby.

At some point, he awoke with a blanket around his shoulders. Confused, he raised his head and looked around.

Astrid was gone.

Toothless was sleeping in her spot, curled up next to him.

Hiccup sat up, suddenly wide awake. Had she left? She wouldn't have tried to go outside with a storm like that, would she?

'Of course not, she's smarter than that,' a part of him argued.

"Oh, did I wake you?"

He jumped, immediately shaken out of his stupor.

There she was, standing in the doorway of the living room, a steaming mug in her hand, an apologetic smile on her face as she stepped closer and set the mug down on the coffee table.

He just just couldn't help but get up and take her into his arms, maybe a bit tighter than would have been necessary.

Astrid chuckled into his shoulder, her breath hot in the wool.

"Did I miss something while I was in the kitchen?"

Hiccup breathed out a chuckle and shook his head. "No, don't worry. I just woke up and thought you left."

She pulled back to look at him, her bright eyes dancing over his face, looking genuinely baffled.

"Do you think I'm insane?"

He laughed, shaking his head and pulled her back against him.

"Sorry. I just imagined you were bored to death, said a big 'fuck you' to the storm and-"

He trailed off at the sound of her laugh. She was hiding her smile in his chest, her hands clinging to the material of his jumper.

By the time she pulled back again and looked at him, he had already forgotten about his prior worry.

Toothless had been watching the entire scene from his spot on the sofa since Hiccup's sudden jolt had woken him up yet again.

His green eyes flitted between the two humans.

Hiccup was still holding her, his hands now at her waist, grinning lopsidedly.

"So, would you," he said, hesitating for a second. "Would you like to stay the night?"

Toothless tapped closer. Yet again, he was at the end of his wits at his clumsy human. Fool, he meowed Only a night?

He meowed again and prowled around Astrid's legs in an attempt to catch her attention.

Would you like to stay forever?

Astrid laughed brightly and wrapped her arms around Hiccup's neck, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Thought you'd never ask."

Hiccup looked at her and for the first time in his life, he was glad Bucket's prediction had been right.

#IJAS #pls ignore all the times i spell colleague as collegue lol idk what was wrong with me #it's just a spark #hiccstrid #slow burn #modern au #httyd #httyd 2 #mine

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gothpanda · 3 years

Text

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.32: Los Angeles

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: lol I’m not dead. Just had finals

TAGS: @madamsixx @emariehorror

Read on Ao3

Previous/Next

May 31st, 1987

Oakland, California

"... At the dollhouse in Fort Lauderdale! Girls, Girls, Girls! Rocking in Atlanta at Tattletails,"

Sammi groaned loud from the music through the speakers, lightly banging her head against the metal shelves aligned with cassette tapes. It was a brand new song that seemed to play 24/7 since being released, Sammi wanting to rip her ears out of her head. It didn't help that she was in a record store where most of the employees were goth or punks. As Sammi rested her head on the cold metal, Athena couldn't help but chuckle at her sister's dismay while browsing the selection of pop tapes.

"Why are you so dramatic? I thought you'd be happy the band is being successful," said Athena, side-eyeing Sammi's pouted lips.

"I would be happy if I didn't have to hear or see them all over the place. It gets annoying after a while," said Sammi, walking down the aisle of music, finding something new to entertain herself in. Athena followed in her little sister's footsteps, keeping a safe distance from her. It was Athena's idea to check a music store as Sammi showed her around the Bay Area, never having been able to visit until today.

"Well, it's not like you've been avoiding them or anything like that. Of course, it would get annoying,"

"I am not avoiding them," mumbled Sammi.

"Are you sure? You have done a pretty good job if you ask me," said Athena, grabbing a new Aerosmith cassette for her walkman.

Sammi stopped dead in her tracks, turning to glare right at Athena, who had a playful smirk. "I have not, Athena. I've been busy. " There's a difference," said Sammi, turning into the magazine aisle near the shop's cash register.

"Really? You could've fooled by the way you haven't been home in a year. When was the last time you talked to mama or dad?"

Sammi sighed out. "I'm sorry for missing out on stuff, but school has been a bigger pain in my ass than I thought. And I have spoken to mama and dad,"

"You've missed: Tommy's birthday, Mama's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday-"

"Okay, I get it, Athena! You don't have to remind me. I'm going home for a month aren't I?" asked Sammi with a sting of sarcasm, glancing at all of the headlines from the gossip tabloids.

"And thank god for that,"

"Why L.A isn't living up to its potential anymore?" joked Sammi.

"Exactly. Everything has been moderately boring since you left. It's not fun hanging out with Tommy after he got married. Our lovely sister-in-law isn't up to crazy fun. And all of my friends are acting like full adults now with 9 to 5's," said Athena.

Right as Sammi responded, her eyes fell on an issue of 'Rock Secrets,' another gossip magazine amongst the hundreds. The cover for the tabloid made Sammi's heartstrings get pulled in different directions. Nikki in the arms of another woman, both smirking. Sammi knew the woman from the party scene of Los Angeles, a dancer for every music video but nothing more. She was the complete opposite of Sammi in every single way. The woman was someone taller who was almost the same height as Nikki in heels. She was slimmer than Sammi and tanner in comparison to Sammi's pale cheeks. Sammi didn't want to believe Nikki running out to get new girlfriends after she left but knew it was bound to happen at some point. It had been a year. Sammi was never one to feel self-conscious about her appearance but seeing someone so different from her have Nikki wrapped around their finger stung. As Sammi stared longer at the cover, she was able to see the haze in Nikki's eyes that she hated, the girl almost matching him. Sammi reached for the magazine, facing Athena with a ghastly face, a cocktail of anger and sadness show. Athena pressed her lips tightly together, taking the tabloid for herself to examine.

"She isn't close to being as pretty as you," said Athena in hopes of cheering Sammi up. Sammi scoffed. "And Tommy hates her with his whole being. Apparently, she's some crazy attention whore. That's probably why she's on this stupid cover,"

"She is pretty, don't lie. And I don't care if Tommy doesn't like her or she's an attention whore," said Sammi, yanking the magazine from Athena's hand. She curled her lip as she stared at the cover, turning pages to see more photos of the couple around Los Angeles. With the luck of being around drugs and partying, Sammi could see when Nikki was high in the images. "Her name is Veronica?" asked Sammi.

"Yeah. Don't let her get to you, she's just some background dancer who's gotten with other musicians," answered Athena, skimming through a Rolling Stones magazine.

"Still. She has a pretty name," mumbled Sammi under her breath, unable to look away. When it finally felt too much for Sammi, she threw the thin tabloid down the aisle with all her force in one quick motion. Athena whipped her head fast, snapping her eyes wide open in shock.

"Sam, what the hell?" asked Athena in a sharp whisper. Sammi only continued to walk into a different section of the music shop. "Was that really necessary?" asked Athena, raising an eyebrow at Sammi.

Sammi shrugged her shoulders, pouting slightly. "It felt good for a second, now I'm just annoyed again,"

"It's great to see you've moved on," teased Athena, throwing her arm around Sammi's shoulders.

"What? I can't be bitter if an ex got a new girlfriend?" asked Sammi, folding her arms across her chest.

"No, because you're supposed to be the mature one, remember? It shouldn't get to you,"

"I beg to differ on being mature,"

"Hey! You can't throw around the magazines!" yelled a young goth girl, picking up the crinkled magazine from the floor, frowning at Sammi and Athena.

"Sorry, she had a temper tantrum. Won't happen again!" answered Athena, trying her best to hide a chuckle. "But seriously please don't do that again. I like to come back to this place next time I visit you,"

"Oh finally you're thinking about visiting?" asked Sammi with a smile, crossing her arms against her chest.

The sisters continued exploring the record store a moment longer, buying cassette tapes to listen to on the drive back home. When Sammi would scan down the rock section, she couldn't help think about what Nikki would like. It was a habit she couldn't break yet. The Oakland streets were beginning to grow busy with summer vacation coming around, Sammi seeing more tourists than usual. "So, I know you don't want to talk about Motley but I should probably tell you this," said Athena.

Sammi kept her dead stare ahead of her, scowling into the distance. "What is it? No one's dying or in the hospital right?"

Athena scoffed in amusement. "No, nothing like that. They're going to be back on the road soon," said Athena, lighting a cigarette as the sisters walked down east.

"Oh. Good for them," said Sammi, wrinkles deepening between her brows. "When are they packing up?"

"Third week in June? Tommy hasn't given me all the details yet except for one,"

"Which is?"

"He wants to throw this huge kick-off party at his and Heather's,"

"Okay," Sammi shrugged.

"I wanted to let you know before Tommy gets so incredibly excited to tell you, he forgets to ask if you're okay," said Athena, blowing out smoke into the air.

"Athena, I'm fine. I just needed to let out my frustrations for a second,"

"Sammi no you're not and please listen," Sammi stopped her steps, sucking her teeth as she faced Athena. "You can admit to not wanting to see Nikki when you get back home. It's understandable to not want to see an ex. You shouldn't tough it out for the sake of Tommy or anyone else. If you're not okay just tell me,"

Sammi sighed out heavily, gazing up anywhere but Athena. "It's okay. I'm okay. Yeah, it hurts Nikki moved on, but what am I supposed to do? We haven't talked in a year, and we both messed up," said Sammi, continuing to walk with heavy steps.

"How did you mess up?" asked Athena.

"I got up and left without telling him. I didn't tell my boyfriend anything about me leaving, and I just left him. You don't think that's a little messed up?" asked Sammi, scrunching her brows together with a frown.

"You two broke up before you left," reassured Athena.

Sammi stopped again in her tracks, looking right into Athena's eyes. "Did you know Nona died last year? Nikki's grandma" asked Sammi.

Athena bit her lip. "No, I didn't. Tom never mentioned it," muttered Athena, looking down at her feet.

Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head slightly and continuing to walk. Instead of spitting out venomous words, Sammi pulled out a cigarette from her crinkled pack of Camels, lighting it in silence. "You've been busy, Sam. Don't be hard on yourself," said Athena.

"This conversation is going way longer than I want," muttered Sammi, staring dead ahead of her.

"Fine. Are you ready to go home then?" asked Athena, looping her arm around Sammi's. Sammi sighed out with a nod. The sisters continued their walk through the city streets until finding the car park, silence forming between them. Sammi only wanted to go home to her family.

June 2nd

Los Angeles, California

"Sammi!" screamed Emma excitedly from the apartment balcony, smiling down at her best friend. Sammi slammed the backseat door, swinging a duffle bag on her shoulders as she smiled back at Emma. Sabrina soon rushed out behind the sliding door with a smile on her face. "Do you need any help?" yelled out Sabrina.

"No, I'm good! I'll be right up!" answered Sammi, racing up to the second floor of the apartment complex. As Sammi reached Emma and Sabrina's door, Emma swung it right open, engulfing Sammi in a lovingly tight hug. Sabrina wrapped her arms around both the girls, everyone smiling gleefully. Once finally pulling apart, Emma grabbed Sammi's duffle off her shoulders, playing a great hostess.

"We've missed you so much," said Sabrina, kissing Sammi on her temple.

"Come on and welcome to our very adult apartment," joked Emma, swinging her arm around Sammi's shoulders, walking into the apartment. It was perfect for Emma and Sabrina, enough space for both with extra for Sammi. Anyone who visited could see the elements of a future lawyer and a star athlete, a mix of color and neatness. Sammi admired the decor from every corner, noting the purple sofa and accent chair in the living room.

"I like everything. You girls really got the place up and pretty," said Sammi, dropping herself on the sofa.

"Thanks, we did have a year to get it clean for you," teased Sabrina with a smirk, sitting down on an accent chair. Sammi glared at her, matching Sabrina's smirk as Emma took the duffle bag to her room.

"Ha. Ha. I just wanted to give you two all the time in the world,"

"In that case, you better love every single corner of this place," said Emma, prospering herself next to Sammi. "But enough about this place! How's San Francisco? Is it great and gay as I imagine?" asked Emma with a goofy smile.

"Is school going great for you? I know my mom wanted me to move there for college," asked Sabrina, almost on the edge of her seat.

"Are the nightclubs totally amazing like I hear? We should go to one when we visit next month!" exclaimed Emma.

Sammi only looked down at her hands, checking her nail polish with a forced thin smile on. She shrugged her shoulders, trying her best to think of something great. "San Fran's pretty, don't get me wrong, but it's so… cramped and stiff. It's nothing but an overpriced tiny island," scuffed Sammi, pouting at Emma and Sabrina.

"Really? You made it sound so nice on the phone when we'd call," said Sabrina, scrunching her brows together.

"I also make those phone calls short if you two recall," said Sammi, Sabrina and Emma exchange worried looks. "The only nice thing I can think of was the food. Great Japanese restaurants. But school is school. One year down, one more to go. The people I've met have been incredibly rude. One was some Christian freak who said the boys were satanic, and I wasn't any better hanging out with them,"

"Wow. Wait until you tell her you like to hang out with a lesbian," joked Emma, earning a smile from Sammi. "Sam, you should've said something about not being happy. We could've gone up and hung out for a weekend," Emma suggested.

"And brought some company with us," said Sabrina, pressing her lips firmly together.

"You'd really make Emma sit in a car with her ex? Even if they were my sister?" teased Sammi.

"No, I think she was talking about another ex," said Emma, biting the edge of her thumbnail. "And not a blonde ex,"

Sammi looked back down at her hands, grabbing a pillow to hug. "I think Nikki is already pretty busy with his new girlfriend. He wouldn't want to come to San Francisco," shrugged Sammi.

"You sure? I think he would drop everything if we asked him to tag along. The guys haven't been on tour yet," said Sabrina.

"Yep. I'm sure. Nikki was never a fan of San Francisco,"

"Sabrina is right about Nikki dropping everything to see you, Sammi. It wouldn't matter if he has a girlfriend or not. He hasn't seen you in a year or talked to you-"

"He's tried, mumbled Sammi.

"What?" asked Emma, scrunching her eyebrows deeper.

"He tried and I tried, but I just fucked it up," sighed Sammi with a shaky breath.

"Sammi, please talk to us," said Sabrina, leaning forward on her legs, hands closed.

Sammi sighed out, resting her head from the side in the palm of her hand. "Nona passed away. Nikki left a voicemail, sounding messed up and I didn't do anything about it. I didn't call him to check in on him. I didn't call his grandfather to check in on him. I didn't do anything. I would call him in the middle of the night and then hang up right away after I first moved. He would be high," said Sammi, wiping away the forming tear that could fall.

"Sam," said Emma softly, reaching out to hold Sammi's hand.

"Please don't tell me I didn't fuck up because I did," pleased Sammi, looking at Emma and Sabrina.

"Okay, the both of you have had bad communication skills, but it still isn't considered fucked up ," said Sabrina. "You're home for a month. Maybe now it's a better time to speak to him,"

Sammi shook her head. "There's more than just that. I slept with Vince after we got drunk," admitted Sammi. "I fucked up,"

Sabrina and Emma stared at Sammi for a moment, glancing at each other to find something to say. "How bad do you feel about having sex with Vince?" asked Sabrina.

"S,"

"No Em, I'm just asking a question. Sammi, why did you sleep with Vince? And why did you feel bad afterward?" asked Sabrina again, this time in a stern voice.

"Because it didn't feel right after I sobered up. There were no rekindled feelings within me for the person I dated. I was drunk and Vince kept saying how great Nikki was doing. He didn't sleep with me because he missed me. It felt like he just wanted to get back at Nikki," said Sammi running a hand down her face.

"Did Vince tell Nikki?" asked Emma.

"I don't know. When we spoke, I told him it was a one-time thing and to keep it between us," said Sammi.

"I still think you should talk to Nikki," suggested Sabrina.

"You're going to have to someday," said Emma, swinging her arm around Sammi's shoulders, bringing her in for a hug.

"I know. I have to do it next Saturday," groaned Sammi. "Tommy's going to throw a party before the guys leave on tour and I have to go,"

"You mean we have to go," added Emma, Sammi scrunching her brows together. "You seriously think we're just going to let you be alone where Nikki is? What kind of friends do you think we are," teased Emma, smiling at Sammi.

Sabrina walked over to the sofa, perching herself on the sofa's armrest, placing her chin on the crown of Sammi's hair. "You'll be fine. Things may seem like shit right now but I promise you, there's always a glimmer of light after a storm," said Sabrina. Sammi only smiled at the two girls, nerves slowly thawing out and relaxing.

June 13th

"What time does Tommy want us to show up?" shouted Sabrina from her bedroom into the hallway, scowling down at the multiple outfits on her bed. Sammi shuffled into Sabrina's room, undoing the last hair roller from her dark locks.

"He said 8:30," answered Sammi, seeing a digital clock read 8:40. When it came to times for parties, they were only a suggestion for the girls. Tommy never meant the time he really said. Sammi scanned the bed before picking up a blue strapless dress. "You should wear this one. It's a nice summer color,"

"So happy to have you help with my little dilemmas," smiled Sabrina, grabbing the dress to change in the private bathroom. "Is Emma ready?" Sabrina shouted through the restroom.

"Yeah, I just needed to finish straightening my hair," entered Emma, ready to go in her purple jumpsuit. "Are you ready, Sammi?" asked Emma.

Sammi scrunched her brows together. "Oh yeah, I'm already dressed. I only need my heels,"

"I don't mean physically ready even though I love that black dress. I meant ready to see the guys again. Specifically a certain bassist,"

Sammi pursed her lips out. "No, but it's going happen sooner or later,"

"That's the spirit! I'll call us a cab while Sabrina's changing. Remember it's still going to be a fun night!" cheerfully said, Emma.

"If you say so," said Sammi with hesitation.

From the grand driveway, guests from the party scenes had already flooded the mansion, either inside or outside. The girls walked up the front steps, smiling politely and maneuvering past people they didn't know until inside. Sammi scanned the foyer and living room, hesitant to find familiar faces just yet. It wasn't until Sammi heard her name yelled out in a high pitched voice.

"Sammi! Finally, you're here!" yelled out Heather in excitement, walking as fast as she could in her heels. She swiftly hugged Sammi tightly, ignoring the presence of Emma and Sabrina. Sammi embraced back with less enthusiasm but still happy to see her sister-in-law. "It's been so long! I have missed you so much!" said Heather, releasing Sammi from her grip. "Did you all just get here? Let's go to the kitchen for a drink!" suggested Heather, grabbing Sammi's hand, pulling her further into the house. Sammi flashed anxious wide eyes at Emma and Sabrina, the two only shrugging their shoulders and following. A few people began to recognize Sammi as the four passed through, almost remembering Tommy's other sister. The kitchen wasn't better in the number of people, some others herding in the quarters. Heather let go of Sammi, playing hostess, as she filled up three glasses of expensive champagne. Soon another person in the herd approached the absent girl, clearing his throat to gain her attention. Sammi's eyes lit up, as did her smile when realizing who it was.

"Mick!" exclaimed Sammi.

"How have you been, Little One?" said Mick, smiling his best as the two exchanged a small hug. "I'm not one to be needy, but how come I haven't heard much from you?"

Sammi shrugged her shoulders. "School has been kicking my ass. It's harder than I forgot," joked Sammi.

"I'm happy that's your reason. It's been quiet without you,"

"How can it be so quiet? I'm the least crazy out all of you," teased Sammi.

Mick shrugged his shoulders. "Quiet for me at least,"

"Here you go, Sammi. Heather had to find Tommy," said Sabrina, passing her the champagne glass.

"Hey, Mick! Enjoying the party?" asked Emma, forming a small circle between the four.

"As much as I can for a little while. I'm just waiting for my girl to stop by then I'm taking off," said Mick, earning wide eyes from all the girls.

"You have a girlfriend?" asked Sabrina with an amused smile.

"That's so nice!" said Emma.

"Who is she?" asked Sammi, cocking a raised eyebrow.

Mick began to smirk, taking a sip of his alcohol of choice. "Her name's Emerson. She's a backup singer, but please don't tell the guys. The three of you can't tell them,"

The girls all scrunched their brows at Mick. "Why? Is she someone they know?" asked Emma.

"We hired her to tour with us. That's how we met. But I know they'll just bust my balls for liking her,"

"Mick, you shouldn't let the guys dictate who you want to like. If you really like this girl then they're just going to have to deal with it," advised Sabrina.

"Unless she's mean to you then we're going to have a problem," said Sammi, winking at Mick.

Mick scuffed at the girls. "Whatever just please keep it yourselves, for me. That is all I ask,"

"Promise," the girls said in unison.

"Thank you. Come on let's find your brother and sister, they've been wondering about you," said Mick, taking the lead to leave the stuffy kitchen. Right as Sammi stepped out, her eyes couldn't help but fall directly onto a man far away, almost making her freeze. Nikki staring right at her, back against the wall. Sammi swallowed hard, continuing to follow Mick and the girls, eyes looking down. This didn't stop Nikki; he followed every step Sammi took until disappearing behind a wall. Sammi couldn't help but finish the champagne in one gulp, placing the glass on a random table.

"Sammi! Finally! I was starting to think you were going to show up!" yelled out Tommy in excitement, hugging the youngest sister. "And ladies, always lovely to see the two of you!" Emma and Sabrina giggling alongside Tommy. Athena appeared right past Emma, only smirking at her without a word. She kissed Sammi on the cheek, passing her a refreshed drink of vodka. "I see Mick got to you before anyone else. Let me get Vince!"

"Tommy, it's cool. I have all night to talk to people," said Sammi, biting her lip.

"Besides Vince is wrapped around a new blondie's finger," added Mick, sitting down on a nearby sofa.

"Vince got a new girlfriend?" asked Sammi.

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. "She's basically a look-like of Sharise. I give it two months while we're on the road,"

"When did you know about this?" Sammi asked Athena.

"About an hour ago when he walked through the door. She seems like a nice girl if I'm being honest," said Athena.

As if his ears were burning, Vince sturt his way to the group with a young woman wrapped around him. "Sam! What a surprise!" said Vince with excitement. Tommy shot a look between Athena and the girls, sitting down beside Mick. "Babe, this is Sammi. Tommy's other sister I was telling you about,"

"Hi, I'm Hayley. I've heard a lot about you," said Hayley extending out a hand, trying her best to not seem uncomfortable.

Sammi smiled politely, accepting the handshake to not be rude. "All good things I hope,"

"Of course all good. I'd never talk bad about you," said Vince, smirking lustfully at Sammi.

"Yeah, like how smart and nice you are," said Hayley. The tension between the two girls was incredibly thick. Anyone could cut it with a knife. Suddenly, the music changed from its rock sound to a techno beat, blaring even louder than before. Tommy jumped up to question, only to let out an annoyed groan when seeing a wild hair woman jump on the coffee table in the middle of the room. To the music's beat, the woman danced faster and faster, almost too fast for the music. Emma couldn't help but curl her lip at the woman, wrinkling her brows at Tommy. Sammi hitched her breath, caught in her throat when realizing it was Veronica.

"Who the hell is that?" asked Emma.

"Nikki's new girlfriend," groaned Tommy, pouring some whiskey into his solo cup. "She's a bitch," he whispered to the girls, noting the somber expression from Sammi.

"I don't know how Sixx deals with that. Come on, babe, let's go out to the pool," said Vince, wrapping his arm around Hayley's waist. "Later, Sam," winked Vince.

Sammi remained silent amongst everyone, sinking into the sofa to watch the unfortunate show display in front of her. People around the grand living room gathered to watch Veronica, snickers from other women as they watched. Muttered comments going around on the visible state of Veronica being high on some type of drug. This went on longer than anyone wanted, Sammi beginning to wonder if anyone had the heart to stop her. Most found it entertaining, while others didn't. Sammi glanced around the room, wondering where Nikki was during all of this. It wasn't until Heather stomped up to Tommy, bringing him down to her level to whisper in his ear. Sammi was able to read the anger on Heather's face, seeing her fold in her arms right at her husband. Tommy shook his head, marching straight to Veronica, and one swoop brought her off the table, clinging onto Veronica. Tommy tried his best to shuffle out of the living room even when it was becoming difficult.

"Let go of me you asshole! You demon!" shouted Veronica, her weak legs making her almost sink to the floor. As Tommy lifted Veronica back on her feet, Nikki appeared from thin air confused. Tommy couldn't help but throw the intoxicated girl at his best friend. Nikki didn't bother to help her stand on her two feet, letting Veronica stumble by his feet. Sammi could see the three frowning at Nikki's careless attitude toward Veronica.

"Was she dancing again?" asked Nikki, scowling down at Veronica.

"Yeah. Now can you please watch your chick? Some of us are trying to enjoy our night," said Tommy, going to the stereos to finally switch the music to something more bearable. He walked over to Heather with his classic Tommy smile, kissing her on the lips to melt any anger away. Grabbing Veronica by her arm, Nikki dragged her up on her feet, quickly turning away from all staring eyes. Nikki grinds hard his teeth when his eyes fell on Sammi for the second time of the night, being able to see the worry from her. The dysfunctional couple disappeared from within the house, everyone soon forgetting about the little show—everyone except for Sammi. Sammi stared down at her drink, Sabrina sitting right next to her.

"Ready to talk to him?" asked Sabrina?

Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, glancing up in the direction of where Nikki was. "Will I ever be?" scuffed Sammi, taking a swing from whatever was in her cup.

"Probably not, but it wouldn't hurt to try another time. Nikki already saw you. He knows you're here. And he's leaving in a couple of days. I'm only suggesting because I care about you,"

"I know. I'll be right back," said Sammi, passing Sabrina her cup as she stood up while fixing her short dress.

Sabrina wrinkled her brows at Sammi. "You're going to talk to him now?"

"No, but if I just happen to go missing please come find me," answered Sammi, carefully passing through the sea of people.

"Why do you keep making a scene everywhere we go?" whispered Nikki from behind the closed door. Sammi paused from touching up her makeup in the mirror, remaining completely still and silent to listen. "You're high again aren't you?" asked Nikki. Sammi pressed her ear to the door to listen better. She knew there was no point in hiding in the bathroom, thinking of Emma and Sabrina looking for her.

"So what if I am? It's a party!" shouted Veronica.

"That I didn't invite you to!" said Nikki. The silence between the two soon followed for a moment, Sammi slowly opening the door. She tried her best to not make her heels clank loud on the tile, walking into the hallway with small steps. The hallway's right end was utterly empty, causing Sammi to drop the cautious act as she shut the bathroom door behind her. "Sammi?" said Nikki, Sammi jumping in her skin when hearing her name. She peered over her shoulder, Nikki looking dead at her for the third time, somewhat softer finally. Veronica leaned slouched against the wall with a deadly stare, unhappy to see Sammi even if she was a stranger. It was clear to Sammi Nikki looked better than most days, Veronica appearing to be the only one under something. Sammi didn't peep a word, unable to say anything to Nikki, especially with his new girlfriend by his side.

"I know who you are," slurred Veronica, stumbling on her feet to regain balance, dodging Nikki's attempt to hold her down. She fought the urge to fall onto the floor, wanting to be right in Sammi's face. Sammi couldn't say or do anything, freezing at the taller woman looking down on her. Sammi could see the pin needle pupils in Veronica's eyes. "I know exactly who you are. You're the one corrupting Nikki. The one corrupting everyone," Sammi scrunched her brows deep together, looking past Veronica to Nikki. "No! Look at me! You're nothing but a devil. A devil!" shouted Veronica, inching closer to Sammi's face. Before having the chance to grip onto Sammi's bare arms, Nikki yanked Veronica down to the floor with no care if she got hurt.

"Don't fucking talk to her! You don't get to talk to her!" yelled Nikki at Veronica, scowling at her. Veronica laid flat down on her back, pouting up at Nikki. Nikki didn't care about Veronica's state of being in this moment, only wretched when Sammi appeared scared. "Leave her alone and leave me alone," Nikki said, grasping Sammi's arm lightly as he led them away from Veronica. Sammi couldn't help look back at Veronica, wondering if she had any idea of what was really happening. Nikki took Sammi to another empty hallway, the music almost a bit louder from where they stood. Sammi rested against the wall, unable to look Nikki in the eye even when she could feel Nikki's on her. "Got nothing to say?" asked Nikki.

"Thank you," mumbled Sammi, looking down at her feet.

Nikki scoffed, shaking his head. "Is that really all?" Sammi stayed silent. Nikki stepped closer to Sammi, lightly taking his hands to cup Sammi's cheeks, cradling her face. He brought her eyes to meet his, a loving brown meeting a foggy hazel. Just from the simple tough of something so innocent, a flush of pink stained Sammi's cheeks. Nikki couldn't help but crack a small smile, missing the sweet face. Alas, the unfortunate always comes. "I know you and Vince had sex," said Nikki, dropping his hands and stepping back.

"What?" uttered Sammi, lips parting in shock, deep wrinkles setting in between her brows.

Nikki only shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you aren't that great anymore to keep him around," said Nikki.

Before Sammi could say anything, Nikki headed straight for the front of the house, hands in his pocket as he ignored everyone. Everything came like a tsunami wave; all Sammi could see was red. Instead of beginning to cry, Sammi marched her way through the party, ignoring the calls of her name from Athena or Sabrina. When reaching the outside, Sammi was able to find Vince in a short second, making a fast b-line to him. Vince didn't pay any attention to his surroundings, talking to a friend by the pool without Hayley. Vince was soon heavily pushed into the body of water in a blink, drink flying out of his hand. When he came up to the surface, Vince was ready to fight until realizing Sammi was scowling down at him.

"Sammi, what the fuck!?" yelled Vince. Tommy and Athena were quick to run out to get Sammi, Sammi pushing away their grasps.

Hayley rushed to Vince's side. "What's wrong with you?!" asked Hayley.

"Why did you tell Nikki?!" screamed Sammi. "You promised!" Vince bit his lip, looking at everyone but Sammi. "Huh?!"

"Sam," whispered Athena, softly pushing her away from the edge of the pool. Tommy pulled Vince up out of the water, glaring right at him for answers.

"Why are you so mad you slept with me?!" asked Vince, Athena, and Tommy, eyes opening wide at Sammi.

"Because it was a drunk mistake!" shouted Sammi. She shook her head at Vince. "You didn't give a shit about me," spit Sammi.

"You had sex with Vince?" asked Athena, concerned. Sammi didn't give an answer.

Emma and Sabrina delicately put a hand on Sammi's shoulders, being the only people who didn't get shoved off. "Sam, we're going home," ordered Emma, grabbing her hand as she shot daggers at Vince. Sammi didn't protest, letting the girls engulf her in protection from stares. They didn't need anyone to judge Sammi as she was only a stranger to everyone. Mick had already left from the madness, knowing he would hear from the grapevine. Once the girls were in a cab, Emma turned to Sammi. "Are you finally going to talk to Nikki? And this time like adults?" Sammi only dropped her head against the fuzzy middle seat, nodding with another word.

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roswelldetails · 4 years

Text

RNM 2x06 - Sex and Candy

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Maria’s (Heather Hemmens) investigation into her mother’s disappearance leads her and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) to the home of a mysterious boot maker named Travis (guest star David Anders). Meanwhile, on her journey of self-discovery, Isobel’s (Lily Cowles) night out leads her into the arms of someone unexpected. Finally, after making some major scientific strides, Liz (Jeanine Mason) is dealt a devastating blow. Geoff Shotz directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingrao (#206). Original airdate 4/20/2020.

DETAILS:

Max and Isobel's fight:

Lights start flickering when Max starts getting aggressive and then get brighter as he gets more worked up.

The first attempt to expel it seemed like he was causing an earthquake. He blew out all the windows in the gym, knocked Isobel down, and there was shaking. But it didn't seem to go beyond that room - no damage is seen when Michael arrives or around town.

Note, after the earthquake thingie the lights go out

His hands are doing the electric power thingie and THEN he also grabs the lightning.

I think Isobel used her telekinesis to stop it and then push it away, which seemed to work...but if so then why couldn't Noah do that last season?

Was it the sheer volume of electricity? There was definitely MORE than with Noah.

Michael uses his telekinesis to manually reset Max's heart. This is very smart of him. Note that he's using his own heart/pulse to get it right.

They are using the antidote to Liz's serum to try to heal Max's mind.

Michael says that they've been giving him antidote injections for three days (time jump).

Three days of antidote and no new memories for Max.

Isobel remembered her blackouts within a few hours of getting injected with the antidote in 1x10.

Note: Liz hesitated using the antidote this way in 1x10 because Isobel could still be dangerous and they didn't know about the 4th Alien yet. There doesn't seem to be a similar hesitation with Max. Because Liz trusts him more? Because him forgetting her is more personal? It's not like there isn't a chance that Max is still dangerous…

Maria arranged a Mexican market in the Pony parking lot to subsidize her income.

Buffy the Beagle is Forrest's dog!

Maria comments that the meteor shower makes animals act strange. And humans too.

Forrest and Maria are organizing an open night mic at the Wild Pony. Free drinks for performers.

Maria clearly approves of Forrest and Alex getting to know each other. She smacks Alex for his awkward flirting.

The bootmaker's farm is about an hour outside of town.

The Science:

Kyle and Steph are watching a "surgical separation of craniopagus twins".

Craniopagus Twins = twins attached at the cranium/head. (Aka not a heart surgery).

"Did you know, ever since 1947, twin births in Roswell are higher than the national average? Maybe it's aliens."

Speaking of awkward flirting…. "You're just my favorite person I can't stand."

The Spanish:

Le cambio una bolsa de chiles para mi papá...for the free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Liz is bartering. She says basically, I'll trade you a bag of chiles for my papa for free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Note, the captions for this are wrong and use the Spanish word for grasshoppers instead, but you can clearly hear Liz say chiles. Thanks to @rosaortecho for pointing that out to me.

Max says:

I'm trying to eat clean. Uh, tiene carne seca sin como se dice, preservativos.

He's trying to say, basically, does the jerky have preservatives.

Quiere carne a sin preservativos?

Basically, you want meat without condoms?

Lo siento. Uh, no lo entiendo.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

Él quiere decir conservantes.

He means preservatives.

Gracias. Estoy embarazado.

Thank you. I'm pregnant.

Michael asks Max who he's texting. Max says everyone has been messaging him but Cameron is the only one who hasn't responded, which isn't like her.

Wildly curious who he was texting though. It's not like he's a social butterfly. His mom? The sheriff? Who? As I pointed out to some friends the other day, he spent his 21st birthday getting trashed with his SISTER. This is not a trait of a guy with lots of close friends.

Just as another note, Michael says he ghosted her. When exactly was that? Yes, Max ran out on her in the middle of a handy in 1x03, but they addressed that the next day. She "broke up" with him in 1x07, but they were still good right up until she left town.

Isobel:

"Does he seem different to you?"

Alex and Maria playing "Never have I Ever" in the car. Good way to do background on characters.

Maria has never cheated on a boyfriend

Alex has never been in a real relationship. Not even "Kellie Sommer-something".

Alex says that whenever he was with a woman he was trying to disappear. Except for Sophomore year after Battle of the Bands. Seven Minutes in Heaven in Haley Moore's hall closet. Alex and Maria kissed and it was Maria's first kiss (and boob graze). She always thought she'd marry Alex. Had to come up with a new plan after he came out.

Alex says "I did too."

"Kissing you in that closet was the first time in my life that I enjoyed touching someone."

Max picks up Liz for their first date…

Just as a note, Save Tonight was the opening song in the pilot of OG Roswell. During the "oh, Max Evans is staring at you again." exchange between Liz and Maria. So, it might go well with new beginnings or something ;-)

The Science:

"Psychogenic amnesia limits retrieval of stored memories, but if we light up your limbic system and gustatory cortex with some familiar signals…"

"Your milkshake might bring all my memories to the yard?"

**Note, second reference to this song in the context of Liz bringing Max milkshakes. First was in 1x06 by Isobel. Hmm. 1x06 and 2x06… maybe they should crack this joke in 3x06 too.

"Sometimes when people wake up from comas they have different personalities, different tastes even…"

Everything you ever wanted to know about psychogenic amnesia:

But, my main takeaway is that it's a specific type of amnesia where there's abnormal memory function but no brain damage or other clear cause of it.

Limbic system:

Basically the part of your brain that stores emotion, behavior, and long term memory.

Gustatory cortex:

Basically the part of your brain that processes taste.

Maria compares Michael to Chad because he starts fights and lies. Alex disagrees and lists ways that he was doing good things:

He lied to protect his family from Alex's family.

He shouldered the burden of a murder he didn't commit for ten years so that Isobel didn't have to.

He pushed Maria away to protect her - which might be a good thing too because of all his baggage.

First Date:

Max went to Ranch camp one summer and dislocated his shoulder while trying to read Lord of the Rings on horseback. #nerd.

Liz references the gala as not their first date, but there was also the desert in high school. I guess she doesn't count that either.

Side note: Cam and Liz talked about him peacocking in 2x03, but that kinda felt out of character at the time to the Max we knew. This Max DOES seem like he's peacocking a bit. Got dressed up, taking Liz horseback riding. He admitted to trying to one up whatever they did together before. Just an interesting (to me) observation.

Liz looks panicky when Max suggests truth serum (because Science!Liz probably could make truth serum), but once she realizes he means whiskey she's like, "oh yes, that's fine." Oh Liz…

Diego details:

They were engaged just last year

Liz left without saying goodbye

Bioengineer

They were working together on the Denver study

They would come home and keep talking about work

He had ideas to help improve it

They both spoke The Science

He pushed her to get better at The Science

When the funding was cut she realized she loved the work more than him

Liz couldn't figure out how tell him that so she packed her things in the middle of the night, hit the road, changed her phone, and blocked him on Facebook.

**This is the first time LIZ has mentioned social media. Interesting given the crap Maria keeps giving her about it!

Travis and fresh warm milk. What is up with it??

"Nice ring. Does it keep you from burning up in the daylight?"

David Anders introduces himself as Travis.

Just as a point of interest, Maria researched enough to find the bootmaker, figure out where he lives, but she didn't get his name???

Vampire Diaries/Originals reference.

Travis says he can't help with car stuff.

The milk was from a cow named Jennifer. He milked her for the last time today. (Creepy).

Weird contradictory statements from Travis:

"You're the best thing I've seen in a long time."....

"Mm, I'm sorry. So many customers and all their ugly faces get all sewn up and stitched together in my mind."

"Yeah, that's the woman that bought them boots. While back. Nice lady. She paid cash."

Second reference to animals behaving strangely during a meteor shower:

"Meteor shower's got my girls singing a bit off key tonight. Jennifer, she likes a good lullaby."

"Okay this guy is going to turn us into skin suits." (OG reference? Or just general sci-fi?)

Meteorchella at Planet 7 (Coachella-style party during meteor shower?) with any excuse to add sparkles!

Kyle says he's at Planet 7 because he's trying not to hang out with people from high school.

Isobel says she's trying to have fun without feeling like prey.

Don't think the details of Kyle/Isobel dancing matters all that much, but as a point of amusement I'll share that in the panel on Tuesday night they shared that Lily whispered something different to Trevino on every take...And they got progressively dirtier to the point that she finally felt like she crossed a line and profusely apologized. Also the lick was a Lily addition.

Max's confession about killing the drifter:

Kind of an interesting thing, comparing the first version of the drifter story in 1x06 to the 2x06 version. 1x06 was more dramatic, but 2x06 was more personal, I think.

1x06

"There are moments that define our lives, and there are moments that divide our lives. Incidents that separate us into two different people: who we were before and who we will be after. Forever…One day we were children and the next we were something else. I was a killer. Michael an accomplice. And Isobel...Isobel was broken."

2x06

"I killed a man once, on a camping trip. This drifter came out of nowhere, attacked Isobel. I wasn't even thinking. I killed him. With this. I arrest people who kill people. Most of them usually regret what they did. You know, you can just tell that they're forever broken. It's like a piece of them dies with their victims. So when I could feel that darkness, like I had to kill, I wanted Isobel to let me die. Because I couldn't risk hurting even one innocent person. Cause life just wouldn't be worth living."

Kind of an interesting narrative choice to confess to murder on a first date and then have the girl just brush it aside.

"No, it just hit me why you're so happy and idealistic, and I feel like an idiot. You are that way because you don't remember me. It's a clean slate. It's like when you got out of the pods with whatever memories you had erased it's probably for your own good."

"Last I heard you were the love of my life."

"Your cohorts, they left out some details. Cause if you had your memories I'm positive the worst thing that's ever happened to you is connected to me. And I can't bear the weight of making you remember that again."

**Note, second time this has been implied. Last time was by Michael in 1x08 regarding the alien symbol.

"...it's gotta have some connection to us right? Maybe it was something we saw somewhere before the crash."

"Sorry, are you, Max Evans, acknowledging that we must have had lives before we hatched out of the pods? You never want to talk about home."

"Hey, Roswell is home. Look, I'm sorry man. You're right. I've spent a lot of time not talking about where we come from or why we're here. Keep thinking I can pretend the past away and just be normal. But if Isobel's blackouts are some alien thing, then I need to know more. Okay, and this symbol? That's all I have to go on. I mean don't you think it's strange that we don't have any memories? I mean, no parents, no language. We weren't infants, man. We were seven."

"I just figured our memory faded. Over 50 years in those pods. Maybe it was just time. Or maybe whoever put us in those pods doesn't want us to remember."

Travis and Trevor's house...with added bonus of his ring that Alex comments on.

Leather ribbons/strips on the wall are for (from?) Hayley and Gertrude. More cows, I presume.

There's also a framed Purple Heart on the wall next to a photo of Travis?

"War really messes with a man's mind. Gets it all twisted up.

Timeline issue!! Alex says Mimi was missing for 3 weeks, but according to the clearly established timelines in 201-203 it was 4 weeks (or a month ish). I wrote about this here:

Maria put her jacket on a scarecrow to trick Travis. And did she leave it there?

(Answer: yes. She doesn't wear it for the rest of the episode. Smart of her, actually).

Michael sees Trevor come out of the house and is about to shoot him. Maria immediate knew it wasn't Travis and threw herself in front of Michael's gun

Trevor shoots Travis.

A bullet from the Crashdown shooting falls out of Max's journal. Does it look like it has blood on it? Or maybe just ketchup? If it's THE bullet it would make a lot of sense that he kept it hidden - evidence that Liz was shot. See this comparison between one of Wyatt's bullets in 1x02 and the one Max finds in 2x06

"Sorry about my twin here. He's had a rough go."

"Combat does not make you an axe murderer."

"No, it wasn't the combat. It was the R&D. If a paramilitary group ever asks you to take part in a study, you run the other way. He showed up a few weeks ago. Locked me up out back. Lucky y'all showed up when you did. Gave me a chance to escape."

R&D is a military acronym for Research and Development. (Aka...The Science.)

Priscilla - the cow Mimi's boots were made from.

This is literally the only direct information gained about the boots from this little sleuthing excursion.

Well, and that Mimi paid cash, which isn't like her.

Side note - I didn't really know what Paramilitary meant, so just in case any of you are also not good with military stuff, Paramilitary groups are like private armies. Like, I dunno, the private security firm that Jesse and Cam discussed in episode 2x04. 👀

Male doctor operating on Steph clearly states:

"All right we're approaching an arterial junction."

A female doctor replies and its less clear. What I hear is...Blood gasses are back? Anyone else hear something that makes more sense than that?

He replied something like...the stint through here

She says something about pH levels.

Max admits that he didn't know what would happen when he decided to bring Rosa back. He just wanted to fix the worst thing that ever happened to all of them.

"I can't believe we were Shyamalan'd by an evil twin."

I think Alex is referring to the twist ending? Or maybe just the insane axe murderer stuff.

M. Night Shyamalan wrote and directed the Sixth Sense, Signs, Split, etc…

During this scene is the first time we see Michael's tattoo… it's on his arm. I struggled with getting a cap of it, but I know there are gifs going around.

I had every intention of detailing the dialogue in the trailer scene, but before I could get to it, Carina posted the script, so I didn't think it was a good use of my time. Here's the script:

The next morning, Alex calls the Sheriff from outside the trailer for an update.

The Sheriff tells him that Travis and Trevor burned their home and ran...weren't caught by the sheriff. Which means we may not have seen the last of them.

The Spanish:

"Oh my God. Dios mio, Max. I took off your pants before I even said I love you. I'm some kind of zorra."

Dios mio basically is Oh My God! So Liz really was spiraling. She went, "Oh my God, Oh my God..."

Zorra - female version of Zorro. Basically a vixen, bitch, prostitute… the internet has all sorts of fun words that it translates into.

"I call this one Visceral Werewolf Part 2, dedicated to my boy Chee Chee, may he rest in peace."

Can we have more Bert? Bert is the best. Also kudos to his goofy friend who is wayyy too excited about this.

Forrest's slam poem:

Locked up for days,

Time slipping away,

On my knees I would pray to break free from this cage.

But bargaining for keys, you forget hidden fees.

And wishing for what you’re missing ain’t the same as living the dream.

And now I’m fighting to stay on this side of the cage.

Even though I know a part of me wishes I’d stayed.

Ain’t no prophet or rebel or savior or devil

Could have predicted, fought, cheated or leveled.

A life with potential that’s squandered,

A comfortable cell is a question I ponder.

Am I a free man or a prisoner wanderer?

Max's memory flash:

Young Max, chained to the ground as described in 2x03.

Max looks scared.

He's dressed all in white like the 1947 aliens after the crash (As shown in 1x12 and 2x03).

He's in a cave or something like a cave.

Holes in the wall are glowing an orangey red color.

The ceiling is like the alien ship material with the alien symbol in it.

A figure approaches from behind him, bends down, and places a hand on his shoulder.

It mirrors the figure approaching Nora in 2x03 and touching her shoulder before burning the military men...probably the same person? Noah? The stowaway? Someone new?

After the figure touches Max, he looks at the hand, and then a red glow lights his face.

MUSIC:

1. Xocoyotzin Herrera "Esperanza"

2. Jose Luis Lepe "La Carreta"

3. Eagle Eye Cherry "Save Tonight"

4. Lousiana Red "I Done Woke Up"

5. Whissell "Magnetic"

6. Stop Dead "Alchemistress Dance"

7. Orville Peck "Turn To Hate"

8. Kim Petras "Close Your Eyes"

9. Orville Peck "Queen Of The Rodeo"

10. Moontricks "The Fall"

11. Years & Years "Hypnotised"

12. Jordan Critz Feat. Birdtalker "Through Your Eyes"

This time I couldn't find the Whissell and Stop Dead tracks on spotify - however the Stop Dead track is referenced at being by Chelsea Dawn in the closed captions. Which I did find. Trying to confirm this. Let me know if anyone else had better luck!

#roswell new mexico #rnm season 2 #rnm spoilers #rnm 206 #sex and candy #episode details #long post

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ladyartemisia28 · 4 years

Text

Say Amen (Saturday Night)Chapter 4

Pairings: Prinxiety, side Logicality, Platonic Moxiety, Platonic/Family Logince.

Warnings: Cursing?

Words:4179

Summary: Sanders Sides Human College AU

Chapter 4- Nine in the Afternoon

Author’s Note- Very advised to get a hold of the song Welcome to the Black Parade- by My Chemical Romance.

After they finished gathering their things, Roman led Virgil out to the parking lot.

He slowly shuffled his feet as he caught up to Roman who walked up to open the trunk of a very nice red car. The symbol on the front of the car was a large L.

Virgil raised his eyes up from the ground to look at the vehicle with wide eyes.

“This is your car?” he roughly tossed his bag in the back set

“Yeah, I was hoping for a Lamborghini.” Roman joked with a wink as gently placed his bag in the trunk.

Virgil attempted silence small bitter voice in his head.

“When I was 14 and my cousin, Adora, got her Quiñceanera. She chose me to be her chambelán de honor or chosen escort. I was SOOOOOO JEALOUS!” He dramatically flourished with his hands as he grabbed the trunk lid and closed it shut. “So to bribe me my parents told me that they'd get me a car a year early.”

“Sorry but I have to ask, but I...I'm not sure what it is?” Virgil asked

“Oh uh, sorry” Roman apologized with a smile.

Virgil hummed as a response.

“It's the big birthday that Cis Latina girls get when they turn into 'women'. Silly and patriarchal, I know!” Roman added with a open palms gesture when he saw the eyebrow raise that Virgil gave. “But it was so fun, so fancy and beautiful!”

Roman pushed the key fob to unlock the car and they got themselves settled in.

“It's fucked up that other genders don't get anything like that.”

“Yeah I even stole the catalogue that she picked her dress out of. I cut out my favourites and glued my face on them. Put them all up and down my mirror.” Roman said with a proud smile remembering the happy memories.

Images of Roman in slinky cocktail dresses rushed into Virgil's mind. His face dropped to a small frown as he struggled to stop that particular train of thought.

Roman was unsure if he had said something that upset Virgil to make him clam up again.

"Uh you can pick the music if you'd like?” Roman offered as a break in the sudden silence. “CD's are in the middle.”

He waited for Virgil to buckle himself in before he pulled his car out of the parking lot. Virgil went through all the preset radio stations before opening the middle console.

“CD's? I would have thought that you would have your car set up with Spotify or Pandora or something like that?” he said as he opened opened the console and looked through the collection

“Eh, CD's are great. No commercials for long car trips. ”

All of the Cds were for musicals, a few that he had heard of like Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, and Guys and Dolls. And some that Virgil didn't know, Dear Evan Hanson, Six the Musical, and...Legally Blonde? He did not know that that was a musical.

Then he spotted one that Roman had mentioned.

“Um, any suggestions from Heathers? You said that I might like this the 7/11 song?”

“I usually go through the whole thing in order....but I suggest for you, Track number 4.”

“Could I get some context?” Virgil asked as he pressed the button for the track number.

“The uh, 7/11 scene in the movie...But in song.” Roman offered with a bit of a smug smile.

“I probably should have guessed that.” he admitted with a grumble.

Virgil closed his eyes as he listened to the song and imagined the scene in his head.

Just like in the Heathers movie JD was recounting to Veronica how he travelled all over the place because of his father. And because of that he didn't feel like he was able to connect to the people and places. No place felt like home, except for 7/11.

It was always a weird scene in Virgil's opinion. Like JD is just opening up to this person he just met and telling her his very strong feelings about a convenience store and Slushies.

Even though it was strange Virgil had to admit, it was a good song. Parts of the song were a little to close to home, like “When the voice in your head says you're better off dead”.

“So what do you think? ”

“Yeah I get it. Its good.”

“That's all?” Roman asked exasperatedly

“I guess I was expecting something different???”

“Like what?”

“I just thought that JD was going to be a little more intense. Like crazy sounding or something?”

“Ah what YOU are searching for is 'Meant to Be Yours' number 17.”

He pressed the button until he reached the number and sat back in his seat to listen.

“So is that was you were expecting?” Roman asked as they exited the car after arriving at the store.

“Yeah, it was” Virgil smiled “Real Intense.”

The pair stopped after they reached to threshold to get their bearings.

“I get so lost in here.” Roman complained with a slight whine to his voice. “I don't usually do the grocery shopping.

Before Virgil could comment Roman continued.

“Lo likes to go to make sure that the budget is kept tight, but he's been so busy with his job. He just got his a new taker for his math tutoring.”

“So Logan's your brother?” Virgil

“My brother, well Step brother. My Mama married his Papa. When I was old enough to remember that I was getting a new family, but young enough that it's no longer weird.” Roman offered a little bit more information than necessary.

Roman briefly considered mentioning that he was at the party and Virgil had briefly seen him, but he didn't want to bring up the previous night.

At lest he didn't want to bring it up first.

They were getting along so well that he didn't want to make Virgil uncomfortable.

“Really, I grew up with him so he is my brother. Soooooo do you have any siblings?” Roman began to play with the sleeves of his jacket as he attempted a more personal question.

“Uh yeah, a older sister” he muttered.

“And her name is...?”

“Melantha,” he responded with little inflection “she prefers to be called Missy.”

“Melantha?! WOW, huh! Did your parents just grab a baby name book and open a page at random for ALL their kids!” Roman teased with a mocking laugh as they arrived at the Dairy and Juice section.

“Yeah haha, Virgil's got a weird name. I've NEVER heard that before.” Virgil rolled his eyes as his tone changed from frosty to salty. “You know Roman isn't really the most common name either.”

“I am far from COMMON! Besides I wasn't saying your name was BAD! It is 'strange and usual like you'.” Roman winked as he tried to steer their conversation back to more friendly waters.

“Quoting Beetljuice at me? You'll have to do better than that.” Virgil grinned in spite of himself as he grabbed a six pack of orange drink and placed it in the cart.

“Come on you gotta give a guy some credit for remembering what your interests are right?”

“Yeah I guess” he said with a reluctantly happier tone.

“Hey do you see the Almond Milk?” Roman asked after he finished his scan bottles and cartons.

“Uh no, I think that might be over in the Organic or like Vegan section. Why does your brother have you on a specialized diet as well as his, what was it? His extremist water agenda? What does that even mean?” Virgil chuckled as he took the cart from Roman and led him toward the other end of the store.

“It's just what I call his super weird thing about getting enough water everyday. And yeah he does keep our kitchen stocked with a lot of green veggies. Also he checks to sure I kept up a sleep schedule”

Virgil's eyebrows rose in surprise at hearing all things.

“Yikes, he sounds like a bit of a control freak...”

“Yeah he is sometimes. Like I have hide my Butterfinger stash from him.” Roman complained. “He's not as bad I make him sound...NEVER tell him I told you that.”

Roman went over to the shelf and looked over the choices, Soy, Almond, Lactose- Free lined the shelves.

“Oh and to answer why the special milk, I'm THINKING of starting the Paleo diet right now. My brother has no influence on this though, just want to try and see what works. I might try Keto if this one doesn't work for me.

“ah right.” Virgil nodded eyes slightly widened hoping that the look on his face didn't betrayal the fact that he did NOT know what the heck a Paleo or a Keto diet meant.

Virgil felt heard a chime from his pocket so he pulled out his phone.

“Hey I'm going to get this.” he shook his phone up to show Roman before he stepped away from the cold of the meat section.

Roman nodded in return as he turned to look at the selection of skinless chicken.

Virgil got a message from Green_Tea_Gay on his Instagram account, Anxious_On_Main.

'Hey so that “Study Partner” is a hot piece!'

'Remy do you have a point' Virgil replied

'Gurl do you know? have you seen his pics? HOW is he Single!!'

After the three little dots disappeared in their place were several pictures

His face reddened as he looked at the pictures of the previously mentioned selfies. Roman wearing tight jeans in front of a mirror with his backside captured on the camera. Another with him laying on his stomach caught at an angle getting his short clad behind in shot.

He quickly glanced over to Roman, who was still distracted.

He looked back at him phone and quickly texted back.

'Don't send me those!'

'They are posted to the public! I didn't hack his phone'

'I don't care, no more pics of his butt'

'K'

Just about the time he was going to put his phone back into his pocket another chime stopped him.

The next series of pictures were of Roman exercising posing with a dumbbell doing a curl, stretching, and other gym activities,

And the last was Roman in swimwear that exposed more skin than he thought was allowed outside of certain websites.

His body felt instant heat and he looked and took a few calming breaths before returning to message Remy.

'I said no more pics!'

'Sis you told me no pics of his ass'

'DO NOT SEND PICTURES OF ROMAN SANDERSON!'

'Easy there Baby! No need to get your knickers in a twist. I'm just trying to help. Look at what you will be missing if you don't Snatch. That. Up!'

'What the hell Rem! We are NOT getting together! He is not into me.'

'Nah sweetie, you should have been paying more attention. That is totally a smitten kitten'

'You are the worst'

'No I am literally the best and you two are soooo getting together. Don't worry I know I made my point.'

'You asshole'

'Enjoy the pictures ;)'

Roman noticed that after he returned from his handling of his phone business Virgil had gotten quiet again and seemed to shift his gaze away from Roman.

'Did I spent too much time with the chicken?'

They walked down to the breakfast aisle.

As Virgil picked up some a box of Count Chocula cereal Roman slowed the cart to a stop behind him.

“You can only get this one around this time of year” he looked at it with a fondness that made Roman's stomach flip.

“So what are you planning on making?” Roman asked as he leaned his arms on the handle bar of the cart.

“Making? Uh, nothing, just like a bowl of cereal.... like with milk...from a cow” Virgil tilted his head to one side.

Confusion on his face as he held up the box and gave it a shake.

Roman could feel heat creep over his face, he was very caught off guard by the unexpected softness on Virgil's face.

'Shit!...now he thinks I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to eat cereal!'

Virgil turned around and did not see Roman's flushed face as he hide his own.

Basic cereal... I guess I could be making something with it like a cereal bar or something? A cake? Maybe? It isnt very impressive...and it's probably not on the platleo diet or whatever it was...

They stood in awkward silence until Virgil turned back around.

“I guess that cereal isn't something that YOU would be eating.” he looked at the cart. “From what I see here, you eat like you are going to be in the next Avengers movie or something.”

“Thanks, I mean I try.” Roman said with his eyes downwards as his body did an uncharacteristic shy sway.

“Yeah, I gues if you workout half as much as you take all those pictures, you could get away with more than the occasional Butterfinger.” Virgil's eyes widened as he realized what he had said.

'.. shut up! shut up! shut up!'

Roman's head snapped up to look at Virgil.

“You've seen my gyms pictures?” Roman asked in a whisper.

“Ah Yeah that's like all over your Instagram page,” he attempted to sound super casual

He did not sound casual.

Like at all

They felt a charged moment between them and the longer it went on the longer they were unsure of who was going to break the silence.

Roman took it upon himself to interrupt the quiet as he tool the box of chocolate cereal in hand.

“I like the marshmallow bats.” he said with sheepish smile.

When they returned to the car they loaded Roman's groceries into the trunk and Virgil's bags into the back seat. Then they got themselves settled in their seats.

“SO where am I uh dropping you off?” Roman asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“I live in the dorms," Virgil asked as he started his usual habit of checking all the radio stations. “You don't?”

He found a song that he seemed to like on one of stations, Roman recognized it as a song by Imagine Dragons.

“I live in a apartment a little bit away from the college, with Logan.”

“Um, I live in the north dorms.” Virgil said as he a small bit of nervousness as took his thumbnail between his teeth. “With Patton, my best friend.”

After that song ended, a G piano note began the next song. Roman vaguely recognized it from somewhere he couldn't place. He figured when it got to the singing part he would be able to identify it.

Virgil tensed out of both excitement and fear.

He was about to embarrassed himself in front of Roman. At lest Roman was driving so he wouldn't be stared at. So he took a breath and let himself focus on the lyrics.

“When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city” Virgil sang out beautifully. “To see a marching band”

Roman's jaw dropped and his breath stilled. He felt like he was going to swoon.

He was so very grateful that they were at a red stoplight.

“He said, son, when you grow up Would you be the saviour of the broken The beaten, and the damned? He said, will you defeat them Your demons and all the non-believers?”

Virgil sang with closed eyes losing himself in the song. While Roman's heart thumped hard in his chest and he felt an assortment of warring emotions.

“The plans that they have made? Because one day I'll leave you A phantom to lead you in the summer To join the black parade”

As the song picked up in tempo Roman realized where he had heard this song before. He remembered that he had a few friends who were into My Chemical Romance, it was 'Welcome to the Black Parade'.

“When I was a young boy My father took me into the city To see a marching band He said, son, when you grow up Will you be the savior of the broken The beaten, and the damned?”

Virgil continued a little more intensely. As the song got more upbeat Roman joined Virgil in singing and continued his drive toward the dorm.

“Sometimes I get the feeling She's watching over me And other times I feel like I should go”

Virgil eyes popped wide open and he smiled.

“And through it all The rise and fall The bodies in the streets And when you're gone, we want you all to know

We'll carry on, we'll carry on And though you're dead and gone, believe me Your memory will carry on We'll carry on And in my heart I can't contain it The anthem won't explain it”

As Roman turned a corner they continued to sing together

“A world that sends you reeling From decimated dreams Your misery and hate will kill us all So paint it black And take it back Let's shout it loud and clear Defiant to the end We hear the call”

Roman followed the music with dramatic hand gestures as he continued driving with his left hand. Even Virgil joined in with less dramatic the hand motions.

“To carry on We'll carry on And though you're dead and gone, believe me Your memory will carry on We'll carry on And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches”

Virgil sang with a full grinning face, his relief at Roman joining him in singing the song had caused him to relax and he was able to sing louder with more feeling.

“On and on, we carry through the fears (Oh, oh, oh) Disappointed faces of your peers (Oh, oh, oh)”

Take a look at me 'Cause I could not care at all”

Roman held onto the note at the end for a bit. Virgil continued on with the lyrics

Do or die, you'll never make me Because the world will never take my heart Go and try, you'll never break me We want it all, we wanna play this part I won't explain or say I'm sorry I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar Give a cheer for all the broken Listen here, because it's who we are I'm just a man, I'm not a hero Just a boy, who had to sing this song I'm just a man, I'm not a hero I don't care

They arrived at the dorms parking lot and Roman parked.

We'll carry on We'll carry on And though you're dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on You'll carry on

And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches on

Roman contuined his singing the longer held notes as they song concluded.

Do or die, you'll never make me Because the world will never take my heart Go and try, you'll never break me We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on) Do or die, you'll never make me (We'll carry on) Because the world will never take my heart (We'll carry on) Go and try, you'll never break me (We'll carry) We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)

“We'll carry on!”

They both sang as the song ended to the sounds of drums.

At the conclusion of the song both Virgil and Roman were out of breath and grinning.

Roman felt his heart race.

He had thought that he had experienced maximum attraction that morning toward Virgil. But he was very wrong.

'Damnit Virgil why does your voice have to sound like sexy melted chocolate!'

He fought every instinct to just lean over and initiate a vehicular makeout session.

Roman caught a brief glimpse of Virgil's eyes peak out from underneath his bangs and he gave him a very full smile.

Virgil nervously took a glance at Roman from underneath his dark hair.

Roman had the brightest and most authentic smile that Virgil thought he ever saw on his face.

It wasn't like Virgil thought that Roman faked his other smiles, the feelings of joy and friendliness were not false. But it seemed a lot of the other smiles that Roman gave seemed too perfect, Virgil guessed he practised his expressions in front of a mirror.

This smile was of shear amazement, it was pointed in Virgil's direction. Like he could not believe what he heard, it caused Virgil to feel an annoying sensation in his chest.

“I didn't know you could sing” Roman spoke softly breaking the silence.

“Uh sure I guess I can sing a tune here or there.” Virgil shrugged with a dismissive sigh.

“I think its more than that!” Roman attempted to offer him a very sincere compliment.

“Yeah I'm not about to sell out stadiums anytime.” Virgil chuckled at the thought.

'I wish you were in a band. I'd buy all your albums. Be front row in your concerts, I'd....shit I can't tell him any of this!'

“So My Chemical Romance huh?” Roman said with a wide smirk.

“What about it?!”

“They are like the most cliché Emo band ever.” Roman snickered.

“Ah cliche? Really YOU want to go there do you?!” Virgil said

“Whatever do you mean by that?” Roman asked with a raised eyebrow.

“For a theatre kid you would think you'd dress a bit more stylish or something?” Virgil attempted to say with an indifferent air.

“What like take the costume from Hot Mikado out around the quad?”

“Absolute no clue what that is.” Virgil laughed as he exited the vehicle.

“It's....never mind that. I have only dressed subtly to spare those around me. ” Roman responded as he walked to back of the car. “How would anyone be able to concentrate on their schooling if I were to show up in full regalia?!”

“Full Regalia, huh, you sure think highly of yourself don't you? I'm not sure you should be bragging quite so much.”

“Is that a formal challenge?” Roman felt his racing heart in his chest in the midst of their back and forth.

“Not sure how impressive you'll actually be, but I'll keep an open mind, I guess.” Virgil shrugged with a small smirk as he began to take out the bags.

'I'll show him'

Roman noticed a few heavier bags that he could chivalrously offer to help him with.

“I can help you carry some of your groceries to your dorm?”

“Ah you just want an excuse to come to my room.” Virgil teased in a deep low voice as he waited for Roman to banter back.

“YES YOU BET I DO!!!!....play it cool, Roman play it cool!'

“N...no...! I uh... as a gentleman I ... have to help anyone I see that is in need...” Roman sputtered out before he took ahold of small package of bagels “You ...you have... you have to carry..lots there.”

Virgil read his flustering as a rejection of his flirtation.

“No thanks! I got it! ” he quickly and loudly shouted in a panic as he took the bag out of Roman's hands.

Virgil thought that he and Roman had just shared a moment together.

'You just were imaging it! You shouldn't have believed Remy, you complete moron! ' He sling his messenger bag over his shoulder.

Then he draped the loops of the several other bags onto each elbow crook. And then took another bag into his left hand.

As he struggled to stuff the bagel bag into an already full bag, Roman again attempted to offer help.

“It's not a problem!” Roman gestured to the bagels.

“NO! I got it” Virgil just wanted to disappear as quickly as he could. He then placed the plastic of the bag in between his teeth.

“Cee Ou ENESAH.” Virgil shouted through clenched teeth as he retreated.

“Uh yeah.” Roman spoke to an empty damp parking lot. “see you”

Author's Note

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE SO SORRY for the long wait!

The long pause was due to new job and lack of constant access to a working computer.

I think I will still have a job later after the situation clears, but I am unsure....

ANYWAYS!

What do people think of me backtracking and converting all of the mentions of DEE to JAE? It won't be too much trouble as he has not even appeared yet.

Taglist: (PS YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!)

@tatesinclairr

@love-is-the-fear-of-loss

@misslilidelaney

@ishoulddyemyhairthatcolour

@dwbh888

@violetshovel

@sadgayisme

#Prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #prinxiety fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #virgil sanders #say amen fanfic

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harringroveheart · 4 years

Text

harringrove horror wip

promises to keep (and miles to go before I sleep) -- untitled sequel | follows on from [this]

:::

Billy drank so much chlorine. Bleach, when he could get it. Hydrofluoric acid, once. He felt sick all the time. Felt himself dissolving away out from under.

When the monster spears him through the chest, it’s a relief.

:::

Dying takes a long time. He can hear voices, feel Max shaking him. Crying. There are sirens too, just too late.

It hurts on and off. All over.

He twists in and out of worlds like overarm swimming – a breath on the surface and a stroke underwater. Light and nothingness. Pain, deep, sucking, all-encompassing, and then just—floating.

Time slips away.

:::

That fucking… beeping. Will someone please turn it off so he can sleep?

:::

His dad holds him, rocks with him.

“My boy, my boy, my boy,” he says, choked up on tears. His words are wet, rough, hot in Billy’s ear. “I’m going to make it right this time.”

Billy keeps rocking with him because he can’t stop.

It’s his first day back from the hospital, but he won’t know it for two more months.

:::

Max is shaking her head. “This one,” she says, putting the fork in his hand.

“I made your favorite,” Susan says, looking to Neil, eyes nervous. She puts the casserole down on the table.

Max shakes her head again: It’s not.

It tastes like crap.

It’s better than antifreeze.

:::

Home, Billy thinks. He keeps staring, forgetting how to blink, where he is, how he got here. His feet are cold past hurting.

Harrington looks around and down the long stretch of asphalt disappearing into the woods, his eyes darting back to Billy, dark and knowing. The moonlight makes them look wet.

“That’s not your home,” he says. “Let me take you back.”

He’s cold everywhere except where Harrington’s palm presses against his chest.

:::

“Thanks,” he says a little while later, in the car.

“For what?”

“For hitting me with your car.”

“Well…It wasn’t really mine.”

“Well. I wasn’t really me.”

“You’re you now, though,” Harrington says, more question than it should be. “You know that, right?”

:::

He has to wait all day to see him.

He finishes his shift late, when it’s already dark and the parking lot is still swarming with cars. People going to the movies. People picking up their kids. Harrington is too tired or too distracted to notice Billy at first. Does a double take.

When he sees that Billy isn’t there to chase him, he comes closer. Follows Billy into the dark corner behind the loading bay where the Chinese restaurant dumps its trash.

It’s just how he thought it would look: the sailor uniform. Billy feels something like a smile.

“What are you doing here?” Harrington asks, suspicious. Not as hard-toned as it could be. They’ve seen each other around. Eyes over headlights on the dark drive to the Byers’ house. Tense quiet shared in the locker room after practice when they’re both afraid of each other for different reasons.

“Just felt like seeing a familiar face,” he says.

It’s the truth. It’s all he wants. Harrington’s face is familiar and new all at once, every damn time. He looks clean, rosy. If Billy touched his cheek it would leave a mark. If he touched his hair, he could never trust himself not to stop touching it.

“You okay in there, Hargrove?” Harrington asks. “You look a little…”

I’m okay, Harrington, he thinks.

It’s just sweat.

:::

They shaved his head, Max tells him, putting her hand over his on the gearshift. In, left, second, drive.

“Neil went apeshit,” she says. “No. In, left, second, drive. There. You got it.”

“Did I look stupid?”

“No. You still looked good. Not like you, though. Do you want me to cut it again?”

He laughs. “No way,” he says. “Harrington’d kill me.”

She’s looking at him funny. He stops. Looks down at his hands. Remembering and forgetting.

“Why would Steve kill you, Billy?”

The wheel is warm under his fingers like it remembers him just fine.

:::

After dinner he washes dishes, quiet and careful, staring at his reflection caught and dulled in the opaque blackness of the window over the sink. The flower boxes outside are spilling over, heavy with big blowsy roses, petals soft and faded at the edges, their centres a vibrant rancid pink that makes his head spin.

It’s almost midnight; a year to the day. Neil bought sparkling wine and the birthday cake Billy liked when he was seven.

A dish clinks in the soapy water, the foam itching at his wrists.

“It’s ok,” he says dully, Susan’s reflection beside his like a smear of pale oil paint, watching, fretful. “I don’t do that anymore.”

She watches him a moment longer anyway. And when he leaves he hears her putting the detergent away in the cupboard.

:::

Heather’s house. Fran’s house. Gary Kenwick’s house. The house at the end of Dearborn and the house on Randolph Lane. The house with the rose garden and the house with the deadbolt and the house with the fridge-door left open and the milk all over the floor and the house with boys’ rooms and their dinosaur nightlights.

These are places he has been.

:::

If he goes to the steelworks and goes down and down and lies on the concrete and breathes in the dust and closes his eyes he can dream again but it’s not the same.

:::

“I don’t want it to have my mom.”

“It needs her, for its work.”

“I want to go home.”

“We are.”

He is. They are.

“Why did you lie?”

He doesn’t answer. Breathe in, breathe out. He has so many heartbeats now. So many names.

“Billy.”

Billy?

“You said it would be over soon.”

:::

He likes Robin. She works at the video store with Harrington and she doesn’t remember Billy from either of his befores. She should be sick of seeing him, day in and day out, but she likes his jokes and the nasty smile he shares with her when Harrington does something stupid.

“He told Keith The Karate Kid is the only movie that ever made him cry.”

“He told me his favorite actor is the Terminator.”

“He thinks Gremlins is ‘a classic’.”

“He thinks Gremlins is a documentary.”

“Hey,” Harrington says. “Do you two assholes want to help me here, or am I supposed to unpack these all myself?” He waves an exacto knife around at the jumble of half opened boxes and scattered packing peanuts.

Billy smirks. “Who let you have a sharp tool?”

“It’s got a safety on it,” Robin says.

:::

Every now and then they get high out the back of the store. It’s Harrington’s weed. Sometimes it’s the pills the government doctors give Billy each month to stop him from turning back into jelly. Robin and Harrington are fearless. They don’t care what kind of trip they have so long as they’re together.

“I don’t feel anything,” Harrington says, pacing, running his hands through his hair over and over with neurotic focus.

Robin gives one of her honking laughs. “Oh, I think you’re feeling it Stevie.”

“I don’t feel good,” he whines.

“You feel fine. You feel fine,” Robin insists. She’s doing something to her shoelaces, tying them into some intricate knot of vital importance. Billy laughs. It’s only fair. They got him so high last week he let them paint his nails.

“Does this feel weird to you?” Harrington asks, suddenly in front of him, sucking up all his attention, shoving his head under Billy’s hand. Billy’s fingers slide through: muscle memory. It’s softer than he remembers, and lighter too. Blond, in parts.

So, the Mindflayer didn’t get his highlights right.

Harrington calms down under his stroking hand. When Billy finally looks up Robin’s finished her task, shoelaces of both shoes all knotted together, and she’s staring at him, at both of them, surprised and then sad.

:::

“Does your family know you’re out here?” Harrington asks, tugging the bottle out of his hands and hopping up onto the bonnet beside him. “Fuck.” He shivers. “It’s fucking freezing out here. Aren’t you cold?”

Billy shrugs. He’s drunk. He woke up thinking about rats. Rats don’t get cold. They can probably get drunk.

Harrington is wearing a jacket pulled tight over a thin t-shirt, warm all over from sleep. He looks great. He looks too good to be true. Billy watches him take a slug of the bourbon and give it back to Billy so he can blow on his hands.

“So…” Harrington says, after a nice enough silence. “What are we doing here?”

“Watching fireworks,” Billy says.

He can feel Harrington’s eyes on him. Confused. Pitying maybe. From up here the forest looks like a toy forest and the town looks like a toy town with tiny fairy lights. The sky is cloudless, near and black. It’s empty tonight. It’s empty every night. There’re never any stars and there’re never any fireworks.

“Well, okay then,” Harrington says. “How’d you score such good seats?”

That makes him smile. “I dreamt them,” he says.

“Well, thanks for the invite then.”

“I dreamt you too.”

Harrington laughs. “Okay. Well, thanks for the hair, and the big dick.”

“You always wanted me to kiss you.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

Oh.

“Were we…”

“Yes,” Billy says.

:::

A party: a basement: a couch.

“Did it hurt you?”

“No,” Billy says.

Harrington is drunk, sloe-eyed. He has lipstick on him, just a smudge, so cruel, in the corner of his mouth, like a sore that Billy wants to scrub and scrub and scrub at. He drinks his beer instead and pretends he can taste it.

“Did it lie to you?”

“No.”

“What did it offer you?” he asks. He knows. He knows.

Billy can’t answer that. He’s not here. He’s not real. He’s a wave of tar and spare parts under thin skin.

“What did it offer you, Billy? Anything? Everything?”

Kingdoms, he wants to say. Worlds and stars and kingdoms. A road that only goes where his heart wishes it could live.

“Less,” he says.

He looks at Harrington, at the perfect inimitable color of his eyes.

Enough.

:::

#harringrove #stranger things #freeform #fic #season 3 #mindflaying

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burning-up-a-sun · 4 years

Text

Phone-Boxes - Part 1.

Pairing: Tenth Doctor x Rose (Doctor Who).

Word Count: 2981.

Warnings: None, except bad writing and pretentiousness.

For @b-a-s-i-c-b-i-t-c-h , a horribly late birthday gift x.(It was turning out to be like 20k words, so I’m posting this part first).

______________________________________________________________

It was a truth widely recognised across the galaxy that the Doctor was not best alone. The TARDIS was a vast and empty place, and those who had been inside knew very well how lonely it could be, when all the life and laughter had gone away. People died when the Doctor grew despondent, galaxies collapsing when he turned his back. Everyone knew that. Everyone, that is, except for the Doctor himself.

A year after the Genesis Ark had opened and the breach in the universe had closed, nothing had changed at all. On Earth, the houses were rebuilt, the damage cleared away. The deaths had been mourned and forgotten about, and life went on as normal. The ghost shift became nothing more than a dark memory lingering on the thresholds of the mind, a scary story told to children to make them eat their vegetables and go to bed on time. There was no call for grievance now, and slowly but surely the world still turned the way it had before. To some it was as though nothing had ever happened at all.

To others, though, the day's events had marked the start of something long and terrible. The woman in the wedding dress, arriving late to her uneventful wedding to an uneventful man, who could have sworn she saw ten minutes ago a strange little phonebox that was a lot bigger on the inside than it was supposed to be.

Or, even worse, the man inside. The doctor's peace had been disturbed; he sent her on her way to the wedding, and promptly left again. Out to space, where things were so much quieter and he could not see a thing outside the TARDIS windows except for asteroids and stars, the kaleidoscopic blur of a passing planet that he pointedly ignored. The brightly-lit distress signals in the outer atmospheres were troubling, and he turned away when he saw them. He did not feel much like helping people anymore.

Eventually there came a place where the planets were few and far between, and there was no life in sight. He could not see as many stars, and the sky was inky black. When the lights went out entirely, he turned out the TARDIS' engine, and waited for the spinning to stop. And soon it did. When all the noise had died away and the lights inside turned out one by one, the TARDIS simply hung there, in the midst of all the nothingness and the darkness from the end of the universe. The Doctor had always loved the way the worlds were filled with colour and noise. Suddenly he liked the silence very much.

A century had passed by the time the systems failed. Rust crawling, thick, dark red, over the lights in the hallways and passages, and soon there was no light except for the dimly glowing core in the main chamber of the TARDIS. The Doctor sat and watched it flicker until even that died out. And then there was nothing at all. Time passed, the universe changed, the Doctor did not change at all.

________________________________________________________________

The sound of the phone ringing woke him up in the darkness.

Lying very still, the Doctor could tell first of all that the TARDIS had stopped moving. Carried on the silence, there came the sound of the wooden TARDIS walls scraping against rough stone. Fainter still, the hushing sound of dust rolling over barren land. He waited for the ringing to stop, a figment of his still half-dreaming mind. It did not.

After all those years before the Doomsday, he had got quite used to the sound. A phone call from a friend, or a distress call from a spaceship asking for his help. He was reaching out to pick it up when he remembered where he was, and when he was, too. His hands fell flat upon the cold metal floor of the TARDIS' main room. He had fallen asleep sitting in the narrow chairs; he must have fallen in the night. The ice that grew beneath him had spread into his bones.

On his hands and knees, the Doctor crawled to the TARDIS core and reached up for the phone handset, but the ringing was quieter here. It was coming from the doorway, or somewhere far beyond. He wanted to stand up and walk to the door, but his legs would not bear the weight. He was weaker; he was dying. He did not care so much about that, though. All things must come to an end, and he had been waiting for his for some time. Hoping for it, almost, because every time he closed his eyes he could see her standing there in her blue jumper, smiling at him with that great big smile that made both his hearts ache unbearably. In all the centuries lost in thought, he still had never found the words to say how much he loved her smile.

By the time he got out of the TARDIS, he had garnered the strength to kneel. The rocky surface was harsh and heather grey, the sharp shapes casting deep purple shadows all around him. The only structure he could see was the mirage of a red telephone box not far from him. The Doctor could not see it well, but he could tell the phone call came from there.

He came a little closer, expecting the mirage to shatter before him and fall away to dust. It remained unflinching, and when he could finally touch it, he found its red paint peeling and old but very much real. He must be dreaming, or dead.

The phone was still ringing, and he was still kneeling there, holding his breath and watching it. By all logic it should not have any power left to it. He could not say how long had passed since the planet had seen life, but it had been long enough for ice to creep around the edges of the rocks, a perfect silver spiderweb that crackled as he got to his feet weakly. He had never felt the cold like this before. Buttoning up his long brown coat, he stood in front of the phone panel and held the handset in both hands.

By now, the ringing should have stopped. He could not say how long it had been since he had woken up in the TARDIS, but it had not been seconds, or even minutes. The shrill persistence and the curious telephone box all aligned to make him wonder if this was some message of sorts. The call was for the Doctor, and it would keep ringing until he picked up. He wondered to whom he was this crucial. He almost did not want to know.

It was a famous title of his, or had been in his world-saving days, that he was fearless. And yet somehow the Doctor was very much afraid as he picked up the phone brought it to his ear. For a moment there was silence, an impossible waiting for something, anything, on the other end of the line. And then, through the million light-years in between:

"Hello? Hello, yes, who is this?"

The words came crackling down the line, broken and reedy as if any moment the phone line might give out, but there was nothing in the universe that could keep him from knowing her through and through, and he knew it was her now.

"Rose." he whispered, and his voice was hoarse and painful from centuries of disuse. In that moment he did not mind the pain so much, for the feeling of her name upon his lips was healing, the kindest, sweetest thing that he had ever known. He had not though that it was possible to miss someone this much.

"Doctor?" she sounded confused and formal, as though she did not know him well. He thought for a along time, but he could not understand it at all. "Your number was in my phone, I-"

"Rose." He said again, more to himself as the feelings came crashing down upon him in an agonising wave. His hands tightened around the phone, terrified that he would let it slip from him and he would not hear from her again. He was sure that he was dreaming, or that he was half-dead. He was lost in his own bliss, for he had never yet imagined that death would be so sweet. Now perhaps he might get to see her again, wherever she may be.

"Yeah? Did you put it there this morning when you were in my flat?"

She sounded out of breath, like she had just been running. He could not think where she could be. Or when she could be, for that matter. He had seen her flat before he had left, bedsheets left unmade. The pink bedroom walls looked sadder in his memory, for he had had to see them one last time when she could not.

The memory only made things worse, because it confirmed what he had already known. She could not be calling him. The Doctor knew that he was dead. for he knew she was not calling him. He knew that she was dead.

"I'm sorry?" The Doctor's head was reeling with a hundred thousand insane thoughts - possibilities which were a hair's breadth from impossible. Most of him was still frozen in place as he tried desperately to adjust to the unexpected blow that Rose was here and she could hear him.

"You came over for the arm. This morning. Doctor are you alright?" Later on, she might have noticed that it was a little strange for the man who remembered eons to forget a single day. She did not seem to notice it now. He wondered when she must be, for she did not seem to know him at all.

He cleared his throat and got his thoughts back into order. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't half sound strange." but she said no more about it.

She didn't think to question it too much, or didn't know enough to ask. The Rose he knew had been like this, once. When he had only just met her. It was a strange thought, after all this time had passed them by. Passed him by, at least - something in the way she spoke made it seem like no time had passed at all since then, for her. Another strange thought, and one he tried not to think too much about. Time was tricky, but even time wasn't that complex.

"I'm fine. I... missed you, that's all." he muttered. He wasn't sure which version of Rose he was talking to, but he thought she ought to know. Partly he just wanted to say it out loud, because he had not stopped thinking of how much he missed her since he had lost her, back on Earth.

The phone line crackled for a second or two, as Rose laughed nervously. "Calm down, only saw me twenty minutes ago."

The doctor's hand stopped, and he was pretty sure both of his hearts did too. Twenty minutes. He looked out of the glass panels on either side of him: darkness, the faintly bluish light of some distant constellation. He was not on Earth at all; in fact, he was nowhere near.

"Twenty minutes?" he murmured, but mostly to himself.

"Sorry, eighteen and a half if you want me to really split the second."

"What?" He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

When he closed his eyes, he could still see in front of him the way she looked when she was standing on the beach. The autons felt close enough to be happening right now, but at the same time they felt like another life entirely. Outside, the blue light pulsed and eddied in an electric stream of light. A harsh line, as though the light was tearing through the universe itself, whatever it were made of. A rift. He could not help but wonder if the rift and Rose were somehow connected.

"We... got rid of the plastic arm from that thing in the warehouse yesterday. Went for a walk in the park. You said something about feeling the world spinning. And then bang, off you go in some phonebox and I just found your number in my phone!" she did not sound too panicky, but she sounded incredulous. She had been, that first day.

When he thought back on the blissful months that followed, he remembered how she had never really seemed to lose the amazement of the first time, the sparkle in those dazzlingly blue eyes. She had wanted to see everything in the universe, and he wanted to take her with him to see all the things he saw. Tragic, then, the way that things turned out.

"We did, didn't we." and for the first time since all of this began, the doctor smiled to himself.

Her voice was a little softer the next time that she spoke. "Still don't know what you were talking about, mind."

"Beg your pardon?"

"You said all those things. You said that we were falling through space. You said that was who you were. I don't understand it at all." the words were trailing off to a mumble down the line, barely audible, and he knew that she was thinking deeply about what she said he had told her. "Doctor, what did you mean?"

A moment's pause - he waited. He tried to think of something to say. He knew what he had been saying to her. He had been trying to cut her off then and there, to stop her coming after him; but all of a sudden that was the worst thing he could think of. He had been without her for long enough, and he could not bear to think of her going away again. In a kinder time she had promised him that she would follow him wherever. He missed that blind hope more than anything.

But then again, the Doctor knew that he could spare her pain, could tell her to leave him now and never have the kind of life that would leave her amazed but leave her dead eventually. He could save just one more life, the most important life in the universe. When he closed his eyes tight, he could see the shop and how she'd work there when it was rebuilt. Rose in her wedding dress. Rose with her children. Rose in hospital, fragile and old. But he did not need to close his eyes to see what Rose looked like dead. Either way, he would hurt her. But he was selfish, and he was in love. He could not bring himself to say the words to send his Rose away.

"I... I don't know, Rose. I think I might have forgotten now." he blinked and looked out of the window at the eternal sea of starless sky, the rift that tore through space itself, and he tried not to think about the bad things he had done to her. Tried to make himself unaware that he was doing them all over again now. His hearts, both of them, were all but filled with acrid guilt.

"Oh. Doesn't matter much though, does it." and that was that - the moment passed and her voice was hers again. He was glad that she had not asked him what all his pauses meant - a later Rose would have wanted to know, and he would not have known what to say. It was all okay though - he forgave her, a thousand years too late. Forgiveness. He was getting better at that, lately.

"No, maybe not."

The phone line rustled, and he could hear her breathing heavily. The sound of stairs, the doorbell ringing. Centuries ago. Galaxies away. The emptiness down the phone line haunted him like the sounds of ghosts moving down the TARDIS corridors when all the power had gone out. The sounds of life, by now all dead. He almost hung up the phone. He didn't, just in case this was the last time he would hear her voice.

"Look, I've really got to go, I told my boyfriend I'd be round and we'd get pizza and- and I'm not entirely sure why I just told you all that, actually." she laughed. He knew it was over, and that she was about to hang up on him.

"Rose." he said quickly.

"Yeah?"

He was struck then with the sudden urge to give her some kind of sign. Some warning of what she would become, or rather what would happen to her. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know how. Saving her would tear apart the universe, or what was left of it, and it would not change the fact that he was just a lonely man drifting, alone, through space. He could not save her the first time and he could not save anyone now.

He loved her more than anyone, more than his own good. But she had time, not a lot but time all the same, and she would hear everything he had to tell her in her own time. Or else she would learn it the hard way, and even he could not rob her of something as important as that.

"See you around." he said at last.

A minute passed in silence, and then the phone line cracked and went dead. A handful of twenty pence coins rattled and fell into the receptor below the handset, silver and shiny and new. He had not expected to get his money back, especially because he had not paid. All the way back to the TARDIS, standing steadily upright now, he clenched the coins tightly in his fist. They were his only evidence that Rose had called at all.

Sitting on the TARDIS' doorstep, the Doctor pushed off the planet's edge with his legs. With a low, wooden shudder that shook through him and his spaceship alike, the TARDIS drifted away into space.

#Doctor who #dr who fandom #Tenth doctor #David Tennant #Rose tyler #billie piper #rose x ten #rose x 10 #rose x doctor #doctor x rose #10 x rose #ten x rose #fanfiction #dr who

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chroniclackofselfpreservation · 4 years

Text

Spinster

(!!!TW!!! mention of rape/incest. reader discretion advised)

When I was twelve, Pa built a farmhouse.

It was large—three stories, several bedrooms, and an outhouse downhill from the house, rather than up—not because we were rich, but because the timber was close by and Pa had eleven sons to build it for him free of charge. Ma only saw it as something to gossip about with the other women in Merrill Creek, Georgia. She’d fan her face in mock weariness and sigh, “I told Henry it was too large, but he simply must have it. He can be so vain, bless his heart. I must say, though, it turned out beautifully. Don’t you think? My daughter an’ I can handle the chores just fine, thank the Lord in His kindness, if those cursed chickens would just stay in their coop for once…”

Mary, Heather, Chastity, and Promise would pat her on the shoulder and congratulate her on working so hard, smiling with the venom of a thousand flying serpents fixed to strike down the children of Israel.

Chastity patted me on the cheek once and said, “You’ve grown up prettier than a peach, ain’t you? I’m surprised you didn’t end up a brute with all them men in the house.”

“As my saint of a mother always says,” Ma would say, her grip on my shoulder becoming painful, “‘a house ain’t a home without an army of children tearin’ through it.”

The women all laughed, even Chastity, despite the fact that Ma had reminded the entire group that her husband was sterile. I never understood why my mother called those women her friends, or why she took offense to Charity calling me a brute, when she did it herself twice a day.

“A man’ll never marry a girl who romps around in the dirt like a wild animal!” she shrieked after catching me in the barn sporting my seventh brother’s coveralls, wrestling with him in the barn, six more brothers watching and cheering good naturedly.

“Ah, come on, Ma,” Harlan, the oldest, had whined with a grin, grabbing her and spinning her around like they were dancing. “It’s just a little fun.”

“This ain’t the time—Harlan, let me go this instant!” she fumed, cuffing him over the head even though he was nearly twenty-five. He released her, but his grin never dissipated. Ma latched onto my arm and dragged me inside, sure to chastise me the entire way.

That night, she struck my knuckles with a wooden spoon until they bled.

When I was fourteen, my brothers about had heart attacks when blood started trickling down my legs one day while we picked apples. I looked down and saw nearly all the layers of my skirt blooming red with tacky, irony blood. I was embarrassed, confused, and a little terrified at the sight, so I started to cry. Harlan figured I was about ready to keel over and die from some sort of “women’s infection.” He scooped me up right then and there, and sprinted me back to the farmhouse. Ma and Pa were gone to market, so Harlan raced up the stairs and plopped me in front of Mamaw, panting, “She ain’t gonna die, is she?”

Mamaw barely looked up at us from her knitting, her mouth quirking at the bloody sight. “Figured it was ‘bout time,” she muttered, then told Harlan to leave. “Go chew somthin ‘fore you have a stroke,” she called after him. Mamaw was a cranky old snot, and though we said we loved her, we all cast periodic glances across the alfalfa fields to the local graveyard—checking for any vacancies she could fill. She slept in the attic so she could be “outta reach o’ the Devil, curse his name,” even though it got hot as a sweatshop up there. I hoped one day she would die from it.

I sat on her floor, hiccupping at the sight of my clothes.

“Hush up, Eleanor. You’re fine.”

“I’m bleedin’!”

“That’s the girl leaking outta you, makin’ way for the wom’n,” she had said, and made me sit in my sticky clothes until my mother got home.

When I was seventeen, I sat with Pa on our back porch watching the sunset. Ma was inside trying and failing to keep eleven sons from eating before dinner was ready.

“Ma says I’m nearly of age to be married,” I said, pushing the stray dirt between the wooden slats at my feet absently.

Pa made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. He rarely spoke, communicating in a language of stern looks, occasional grunts, and pats on the shoulder. When he did speak, it was with few words, but words I made sure I listened to. Pa was tall and broad shouldered from a life hauling timber and tilling the earth; he was still and imposing as a mountain range, and yet his calloused hands were gentle enough I imagine he could pick out a tune on a spiderweb without tearing it.

“What if—” I bit my lip, debating on whether to speak. “What if I don’t ever get married? None of the boys in town like me.”

“Your ma’ll live.”

I frowned. “I’m gonna be alone forever.”

“You ain’t.”

“But what about all the other girls at church? They think I’m scary just ‘cause I never grown up with a sister, and the boys won’t talk to me ‘cause I got a herd of brothers ‘hind me whenever we go out, and Mamaw says you’ll have me sold if I don’t—”

“Eleanor.”

I shut my mouth, chewing on my discontent. “Would you really sell me if I didn’t end up married?”

A ghost of an amused smile flitted across his features. “No.”

I hugged my knees against my chest. “Betcha Ma would sell me.”

Pa snorted.

“Dinner!” Ma called from inside. “Jeremy, you keep your hands outta those potatoes or I’ll whip you!”

“I don’t think I wanna get married,” I said by accident, far too afraid to say it on purpose.

Pa stood, adjusting his suspenders. “Then don’t.”

When I was nineteen, Mamaw labeled me a spinster. I would have retorted that Mamaw was quite literally a spinster, but Ma sat nearby and would have beat me for it.

“Your brother Charles is married, and he’s a year younger than you,” Ma said. “Bless his heart, he’s got a brain like a pail o’ rain water, but he found himself a wife, didn’t he? What’s keepin’ you?”

My lips pinched as I pricked myself with a needle. I hated embroidery.

“Men nowadays…” Mamaw shook her head. “If ya ain’t pretty, they ain’t gonna marry you unless you give ‘em a little somethin’ extra ‘forehand.”

I looked to Ma, worried she’d be furious at such a suggestion. She barely looked up from her needlework. “If no man’s courtin’ her by now, there ain’t much good whoring her off’ll do.” She grew stiff in her shoulders and added glumly, “Besides, we’d be the laughin’stock of the town.”

Mamaw shrugged. “Shotgun weddin’s are still weddin’s, ain’t they?”

When I was twenty, my third oldest brother Daniel cornered me in the barn one night and had his way with me. He hit his head a year ago hauling timber and been angry ever since. He was frustrated at being thirty and not having found a wife yet. At the time, I figured it was understandable. I didn’t scream, scared he’d hit me or clamp a hand over my mouth and nose ‘till I passed out.

He hit me anyway. He was frustrated.

Gone were the days when I wrestled with my brothers in thier baggy coveralls, and yet I still remained caked with dirt and sweat that wasn’t mine on the barn floor.

Harlan found me a few hours later in the early parts of the morning, returning the horse he’d borrowed from Pa to drag stumps from the land he was cultivating a few miles south for himself and his new wife. I was shivering and naked, the buttons on my blouse and skirt all but ripped to shreds. He didn’t gawk, or snicker, or run and tell Ma like I thought he would.

Harlan pulled a horse blanket from where it hung on a nail and draped it over me, slow and quiet as a funeral procession. I still remember how he looked standing over me: shoulders betraying an anger he wouldn’t let reach his eyes for my sake, knuckles white as his fingers dug crescent moons into his palms. He grabbed a square-head shovel and walked out of the barn.

I didn’t have to tell him who it was. Harlan knew his brothers. Each of them.

I heard the yelling from the trees behind the barn, but couldn’t make out the words. We were far enough from the farmhouse that I doubted anyone inside heard the dull metal clang of shovel-meets-bone and the soft thump of body-meets-ground. In hindsight, I should have been more concerned, but at that moment, all I could feel was Daniel squeezing that last bit of girl out of me over and over.

I was set to turn twenty-one next week. Happy birthday to me.

Harlan had practically carried me the entire way to his property the night it happened. Him, silent and strong; and me, swaddled like a baby in a rough horse's blanket crying into his shoulder. His home was small and barely two rooms, but the fire was warm and his wife, Elizabeth, was gentle with me. She had hair the color of a new penny and hands that never moved too fast or touched too suddenly. She wrapped me in a gorgeously warm quilt and even let me borrow her nightgown.

Elizabeth never left my side except to run to her and Harlan’s small room and come back holding a small wooden chest. It looked like something a woman would keep jewelry in, or letters from a husband or brother at war. She rummaged through it, producing a palm-sized burlap sack of seeds.

“What are these?” I mumbled as she handed them to me, still having trouble fitting inside my own body again. Everything felt fuzzy around the edges and I wasn’t sure if I would pass out or vomit. Maybe both.

“Queen Anne’s Lace—don’t worry, it’s just a wild carrot. You only need a teaspoon or so right now, but you’ll have to take some for the next couple of days just to be sure. Chew and swallow. Here.” She walked to the water barrel and filled a cup, handing it to me. “You can wash it down with this.” Elizabeth returned to the dusty table where she’d been preparing some bread dough.

I stared at the sack of seeds. They looked more like a handful of dead, dried bugs with their black centers and prickly legs sticking out at every angle.

“It’s a contraceptive,” she said when I asked, not looking up from her kneading. I had no idea what the word meant. She looked up after a moment of silence, noting my confusion. “For prevention of… you know.” She rubbed a hand in a circle on her stomach. My heart clawed its way into my throat and lodged there. With fingers still shaky and numb, I took out a pinch of seeds and sprinkled them into my mouth.

“Are you sure it works?” I said, grimacing through the bitterness. Ma’d never told me of any sort of plant that would keep a girl from having a baby.

Elizabeth paused in her kneading. “Yes.”

I looked up at her, then glanced warily out the dark window to where my brother was hammering his anger into the fence posts.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t Harlan,” Elizabeth assured me with a measured smile. “He’s too good to me. I’ll become spoiled.”

Ma and Pa showed up at Harlan’s doorstep the next day, announcing that they’d found Daniel behind the barn with “a gash the size o’ the Mississippi down his head,” and he still hadn’t regained consciousness. The town doctor wasn’t hopeful. Ma was distraught, figuring her son had been drunk and stumbling around in the dark when it happened. Pa, the silent man that was, said nothing. His eyes never left mine and radiated a mixture of emotion that took me a while to unpack. Relief at seeing me healthy, anger tantamount to Harlan’s, and the conflict that came with having to choose between two of his children. Once again, I didn’t have to explain what happened. Pa knew his boys. Each of them.

Harlan stared into the hearth fire, saying nothing. He worked a leftover nail from the fence through his fingers like a carnival magician with a coin. He always had something in his hands, and if his face didn’t show it, I could always count on his hands to tell me.

“Eleanor,” Ma said, holding out her hand. “Come.”

I grabbed Elizabeth’s hand, and Ma’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t be a child, girl,” she snapped, shaking her hand a little. “We’re going home. You’ve had your fun, but there are chores to do.”

“I ain’t a child anymore, Ma,” I said, unsure if I was sad when I said it. Elizabeth squeezed my hand. I met Ma’s eye and lifted my chin despite the tears pressing against the backs of my eyes. “I’ve decided to become a wholly disappointing spinster of a woman.”

Pa withheld a grin.

“Idiot girl! You will come home this instant!” Ma shrieked. She looked to her husband, enraged. He shrugged, and she looked about ready to murder everyone in the room, right then and there.

I stood. “I ain’t goin’ with you. I’m sure you’ll find some other girl to do the chores.” Try the barn, I thought to myself. I’m sure there’s one lying around in there.

Ma’s face went radish-red, and I subconsciously ran a thumb over the scars on my knuckles, my heart leaping. She sputtered for a few more seconds before Harlan swallowed and said, “I think she’s made herself quite clear, Ma. Door’s due south, if you’d like directions.”

Pa gave him a customary stern look, but the pride was plain behind his eyes. Ma stormed out of the house, muttering about insufferable girls and all the chores she’d have to do on her own now.

Pa put a hand on his son’s shoulder and squeezed. Harlan reached up and touched his hand, still staring into the fire.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Pa just wrapped me in his enormous arms and pressed his lips against the top of my head.

“Visit me,” he said softly.

I smiled against his shirt, my voice thick with emotion as I replied, “Of course.”

#trigger warnings #please read them #be careful #short story #coming of age #woman #women #historical #creative #writing #creative writing #short fiction #flash fiction #tw incest #tw rape #tw trauma

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rorykillmore · 5 years

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so today is @spearitsandmonsters‘ birthday and they wanted a fic -- and after tossing around a few ideas i decided not to do a bigger continuous thing and instead actually write a series of little fic drabbles based on some of the rp dynamics we’ve had over the years!

spear... i honestly had so much fun writing this and revisiting some of our old characters; i have SO many fond memories of our rps and dynamics that all still really mean a lot to me, so i hope it’s nostalgic for you to revisit them too. thank you in general for just... being such a caring, supportive friend. i know your birthday isn’t your Favorite time of year and i also know that this year has been a bit of a roller coaster for you in general but i’m so proud of you for pushing forward and doing the things that are important to your wellbeing in spite of how hard i know it’s been!!! that takes a lot of strength and you should be proud to have survived the TRIUMPHS and defeats, the epic HIGHS and LOWS of 2018-2019.

okay seriously here are some drabbles for 5 of our old dynamics + 1 newer one

Lucille makes a point of learning contemporary music. Something new every couple of weeks or so, her way of making sure the dust doesn’t settle, that she is no longer playing the same tune over and over and over.

She often practices in the hottest part of the afternoon, when she doesn’t much prefer to be outside anyway. The summers here are a bit too warm and humid for her liking, still, but it seems a small price to pay for living by the sea. For freedom.

“What is that? It’s pretty.”

Lucille stops playing and turns toward where Maria is leaning in the doorway. “It’s called Cristofori’s Dream. Just something I’m learning by ear.”

Maria smiles, but something about it seems the slightest bit strained. “You’ve never told me where you learned to play like that.”

“Yes, well.” Most of the finer details of her childhood are better left untold, though sometimes she feels the strangest kind of guilt, keeping things close to her chest around Maria -- who has so few real memories of her own. “It was a long time ago. Do you play?”

There’s a pause which Lucille more certainly reads as strained, this time. A familiar flicker of something across Maria’s expression. Lucille, by now, has learned to understand what it means.

“...Perhaps you’d like to learn another instrument, then.”

That seems to catch Maria off guard. She raises her eyebrows. “...I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.” Her tone is cautious, but curious, the way it is when a part of her wants to reach out towards something new. Something that is uniquely her’s.

Lucille plays it off, not indifferent, but not too insistent either. “I learned the cello as a child, as well, and I’ve been teaching myself a little of the guitar here. I could teach you either of those, if you’d like -- really, there are all sorts of ways of learning an instrument now. One of the luxuries of the time period.”

Maria watches her, mystified. Or hesitant. Lucille can’t quite tell which. “...You’d really want to teach me? I wouldn’t want to take up so much of your time.”

Lucille splays her fingers across the ivory piano keys, examining them, saying nothing for a moment. It’s not that she has to think it over -- she’s not one to offer things out of obligation. It’s just that she always finds herself choosing her words carefully with sentimental matters, even with Maria, even after all this time. “I can’t think of a better way to spend it, at the moment,” is what she simply settles for.

Maria’s careful expression breaks into a soft smile.

“Do you ever think about dating someone else?”

Veronica doesn’t know where her best friend’s head has been lately. It’s been a couple of weeks since Heather had told her she’d broken up with Ratchet, and Veronica... Veronica had tried to put most of her complicated feelings about that aside and just focus on concern.

Except, Heather doesn’t seem very interested in concern. Or interested in anything, really. She’s been distant, and thoughtful, and quiet, and So Very Not Heather Chandler that it’s honestly a little frightening. Or more than a little. The gnawing feeling in Veronica’s stomach is a dull undertone on a good day and an all-consuming ache on a bad one. Every time she catches herself focusing on it, she has to brush aside the feeling that everything is falling apart. (Again.)

“What?” she asks, utterly nonplussed, because all things considered it makes no sense for Heather to be asking her this question now.

“Like, after JD,” Heather clarifies bluntly, and Veronica supposes it says something about how far she’s come that she doesn’t flinch at the very mention of his name. “Do you think... you’d ever want to be with anyone again, after everything.”

Heather picks idly at her leggings. Veronica feels anxiety twist in her chest, instinctive, and stuffs it down to try and rationalize the question. Because she’s getting better. She is.

Still, no solid answer comes to her.

“I hope so,” she offers after a pained moment, soft and honest. “I have to hope, right? That things will keep getting better. I mean, they have so far.”

But when she tries to picture herself with someone else, well -- it’s only lately that she’s even been able to will herself to do that. And the problem is, the pictures are always a little too specific for her liking.

Heather doesn’t say anything, and it’s partially out of concern and partially out of an unwillingness to be alone with her own thoughts any longer that Veronica presses, “Is that how you feel? After... Ratchet?”

It’s been hard to gauge how torn up Heather really is over it, honestly. Veronica finds she doesn’t like not being able to read her.

“Not really,” Heather surprises her by answering, giving a one shouldered shrug. “We’re still friends, and everything.”

This is actually news to Veronica. She raises her eyebrows.

Heather pauses, and then continues, “We talked about a lot of stuff.” And then she lifts her gaze to meet Veronica’s, finally, and Veronica forgets to breathe for a heartbeat -- because the look in Heather’s eyes is different. Open. A little too intense. Veronica can’t get a read, can’t decide what’s projecting and what isn’t.

She swallows. “Do you... wanna talk about it?”

Heather seems to consider that. And then she shakes her head. “Not right now.”

Veronica grapples with a strange mixture of relief and disappointment, until Heather adds a little more softly, “Or not... yet. I guess. I think we both need time.”

Heather and Ratchet? Or...

“Okay,” Veronica answers, her voice closer to a murmur now. Heather’s expression is still achingly open, softer than Veronica’s seen it in weeks, and Veronica can’t help it -- she softens too. “You know I’m here when you decide you want to, right?”

In lieu of an immediate response, Heather gets up from the living room armchair and moves to sit on the couch with Veronica. She doesn’t stretch out and lounge, catlike, like she usually does, but curls into Veronica’s side instead, resting her head on her shoulder. Close enough that Veronica can feel the reassuring beating of her heart.

“I know. Thanks, Ronnie.”

Veronica reminds herself that neither of them are alone anymore. And for the first time in a few weeks, she actually believes it.

It was the same nightmare most nights, at first. Maive doesn’t really remember being dead, per se, so she doesn’t dream of that – but always of something primal and nameless. Teeth splitting flesh, clouded vision, feeling like she’s floating somewhere high above herself. The bloodlust, and everything she’s afraid she might do.

It starts to happen less as time passes and she learns control, but every so often – like tonight – the dreams come back.

She tells her team they stopped a long time ago anyway. And when she wakes up tonight, hackles raised and heart plummeting, she feels shame trickle into her sense of clarity.

“Bad dream?”

Maive’s ears swivel as she realizes she was too preoccupied to hear anyone approach. Sara watches her from where she leans in the doorway, her posture as casual as Maive knows it only gets when Sara is being deliberate.

“I’ll get over it.” She forces a wry shrug and smile. “Don’t tell me I woke you up?” Sara’s a lighter sleeper than most people aboard the Waverider, but Maive cringes inwardly anyway at the idea that she was making any kind of noise.

Sara shakes her head. “I was up anyway. Couldn’t sleep. You know how it is, some nights.”

And Maive reminds herself that they both do.

“Well,” she says, an awkward feeling settled in her chest where her heart still hasn’t fully slowed. “I’ll be okay. Really.”

She guesses Sara must already know how long it takes Maive to fall back asleep after one of those dreams. How the dark always feels like its closing in on her, how her thoughts just feel too loud. Maybe that’s why she shuts the door behind her, moves into Maive’s room, and settles down at the other end of her bed without saying anything.

“Seriously, Sara, you don’t have to, like… talk me down, or whatever. I’m used to it,” Maive insists a little more somberly, watching her. “I’ll be okay.”

“I know,” Sara replies easily, pulling her knees loosely up to her chest. “We don’t have to get into it. I’m just… here to hang out. Until you’re ready to fall back asleep.”

Maive tries to blink away her shock as something warm spreads in her chest. Even if a part of her also feels like that taking so much comfort in Sara’s presence – the way she used to do – is something too juvenile for her to continue to cling to. “I’m not a kid anymore, y’know,” she points out, but the protest doesn’t have any bite to it.

“Awww,” Sara teases, stretching out a leg to nudge her, playful and deliberately overly sentimental. “You’ll always be my kid.”

“Shut up,” Maive laughs, kicking her back legs to shove her away. She doesn’t tell Sara that it makes her feel a little better. Sara already knows.

“I just realized,” Dolores says one day, pausing mid-brushstroke to gaze over at Laurel. “It’s been over a year now since we met, hasn’t it?”

Laurel stares back at her, processing that. “Yeah,” she says slowly. “I guess you’re right. It was last spring, wasn’t it?”

Dolores hums in agreement, turning back to her painting. A smile flits dryly across her lips. “You stopped me from killing that man in Gotham.”

“Right. …How romantic.” Laurel shifts a little, then rises to her feet from where she’d been sitting in the shade of a tree nearby. Dolores hears her tone soften as she adds, “It doesn’t really feel like it’s been that long, does it?”

“Well, I think my perception of time might be a little more skewed than yours,” Dolores points out goodnaturedly. “…For me, sometimes, it’s the opposite. Sometimes I feel like I’ve loved you my whole life.”

In a sense, she supposes she has for much of it, at least. If you only count ‘her life’ as the time she’s actually had control over it.

There’s a quiet pause, but Dolores doesn’t really mind it, letting Laurel take as long as she needs to find words. Then she feels Laurel come up behind her, and she pauses again in her work, setting down her paintbrush so that Laurel can slip her arms around her.

“You’re really good at saying stuff like that,” Laurel murmurs in her ear.

Dolores laughs a little, resting a hand over Laurel’s and leaning gently back into her. “It’s not just saying stuff.”

“I know.” Another pause. “I guess I… try not think about how long we’ve both been here. It’s hard to, without thinking about how every day’s just another day closer to when we go back.”

Slowly, Dolores shifts, and Laurel loosens her hold to let Dolores turn around and face her. They’re both aware that their feelings on the rifts – on wanting to return home – differ, and Dolores thinks she can see a flicker of insecurity in Laurel’s eyes. She reaches up to touch her face, her own expression gentle. “You don’t know that we don’t still have a lot of time here.”

“Yeah. But it’s not knowing that bothers me.” Laurel rolls her eyes briefly at herself. “…Sorry. I’m really killing the mood.”

“No. I want you to talk to me about things.” Dolores leans in to kiss her, lingering just long enough to make her point. “I remember when you weren’t sure if we should even be together, because you were afraid of losing someone else. And I was afraid of…” Well. A lot of things. Brushing that aside, she tilts her head a little and watches Laurel carefully. “Do you think it’s worth it now?”

Laurel swallows, not quite trying to bite back her vulnerability anymore – and when she stares into Dolores’ eyes and answers, its soft and honest. “Yeah. I do.”

Dolores smiles and moves to kiss her again. “Me too.”

“Now, see -- wasn’t this worth hanging up the vigilante cape for a couple of days?”

Nyssa leans against the ship’s railing, gazing out over open water without responding, but Sly is pretty sure he sees the barest flicker of a smile. And he knows enough about Nyssa by now to take that as confirmation.

“I didn’t take you for much of a sailor,” she comments instead of acknowledging his teasing.

He shrugs. “More of a pirate, technically.”

“Of course you are.”

Someone less astute might have said Sly enjoyed needling exasperation from Nyssa. And, well -- he does, but not just for the sake of it. He knows that if Nyssa really didn’t enjoy his company, she’d be blunt as much to say as much, and there’s something about the way she dryly indulges him instead that’s... endearing? Is that the right word?

He just knows he likes the easy banter. He wonders if she’s had much opportunity for something so uncomplicated and fun, before now.

‘Uncomplicated and fun’ is the whole point of today, actually. They’ve known each other for months, but Sly still hadn’t been sure he could count on Nyssa accepting his invitation to go sailing in his newly acquired pirate ship -- but she had. She’s here. Away from land, away from all ties, out in the middle of the ocean, she looks a little freer than Sly can ever remember seeing her. He smiles at her, unable to clamp down on the impulse to open up his heart a bit.

“Actually, my... ancestor was a pirate.”

Nyssa actually turns to look at him then, an eyebrow arched just slightly. “Oh?”

“Yeah, her name was Henriette. Last year, my gang and I stole a boat and chased after some pirates who’d stolen something important from a friend of ours.” Sly pauses, trying to fight back a grin at the thought of Nyssa encountering Dimitri in any capacity. “So I guess I take after her. It’s just kinda... stuck with me, since then. I dunno. I like being out on the water.” He lets the wind buffet his fur.

Nyssa is quiet for a moment, her expression... well, Sly reads it as contemplative. Until she speaks, and unexpectedly, her voice is just the tiniest bit bitter. “I’m afraid my family’s never done much worth living up to.” She halts, almost apologetic, and adds a touch more softly, “But I’m sure you’ve made yours proud.”

Sly’s heart feels like it squeezes a little, but he knows Nyssa won’t appreciate pity, so he swallows his sympathetic words and smiles at her again. “Thanks. And... you know, the family you find can be just important as the family you come from. Sometimes more! So, in a way... I bet you’ve made yours proud too.”

He thinks he might have surprised her, because she only stares at him for a moment. And then she graces him with a rare, genuine smile of her own. “Perhaps you’re right.”

+01

The aliases Villanelle takes on are not simple games of pretend. They are people -- so real in her mind that they might as well actually exist. She molds their stories, their personalities, their mannerisms with careful detail and precision, until she gets to the point where she can put them on and take them off like an outfit.

That’s why she is so good at what she does, so convincing. So if Toffee wants her to take an undercover position as his personal assistant, she is going to be nothing if not thorough.

“Tell me about your world,” she suggests almost conversationally to Laurel the next time they see each other. She bites back amusement as Laurel looks at her and narrows her eyes, questioning and a touch suspicious.

“Why?”

“I need to make sure I get all the details right, if I am going to pretend to be your sister?”

Yes, Villanelle dropped that on her intentionally, but she is not expecting the way Laurel stiffens almost imperceptive. Interesting.

“You’re not doing that,” Laurel tells her tersely.

“Why not?” Villanelle widens her eyes a fraction. “You said you would help me --”

“I said I would help you come up with ideas, I didn’t say you could pose as my sister.”

Truthfully, Villanelle wasn’t all that attached to the idea, but there is obviously something here -- and she can’t leave it alone. “But if I have someone who has supposedly known me all my life, I will be more convincing.”

Laurel scowls at her briefly, picking at an invisible spot on their cafe table. Then she says, “I have a sister. ...Had. It’s complicated. You know, the whole Earth-Two thing.”

“Oh.” Villanelle doesn’t know what she’s supposed to feel about that. Doesn’t that make this easier? “Is she anything like me?”

Laurel stares at her and doesn’t answer. Inwardly, Villanelle has to suppress a sigh. People and their touchy subjects. She doesn’t understand. Her family is dead, and she doesn’t have any problem talking about them.

...At least in broad terms.

But there are other things to consider: Laurel has been a useful ally. She offered to help Eve, and besides that, Villanelle likes her. They aren’t so similar that they understand each other entirely - the way Villanelle yearns to find someone who understands her entirely - but they’re alike enough to understand some of the same things. Right? They’re both criminals.

So... maybe it is worth trying to step back from this boundary.

“Fine, okay,” she relents, smiling to get Laurel to relax a fraction. “I won’t use that.”

Laurel’s outward response is mostly sarcastic, but Villanelle is fairly certain it’s at least somewhat put on. “Great. Thanks. I’m sure you’ll come up with something else.”

“Oh, I already have,” Villanelle informs her cheerfully. “You aren’t too touchy about your cousins, are you?”

Laurel sighs.

#pour one out for the line breaks that were originally in this fic #just kidding it worked out fine #happy birthday spear!!!#fic #btw i looked back some old logs to be able to better grasp heather and veronica's voices #and boy we put them through an absurd amount of shit.

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ashleyrobyn · 3 years

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I started doing art and music because i wanted my soul and my voice to live on after I died. You see, when I was young, I never expected to live this long. My brother told me every day that he would kill me and it would be the best day of his life, while he was beating me, kneeling on my chest, and throwing me around like a rag doll. He would strangle me and block off my nose and mouth just to watch the fear in my eyes. I'd lay in bed at night staring at the birds on my ugly wallpaper in my little bed wondering how long I had. Wondering if it would be scary once he finally beat me to death. Having nightmares of being buried in the backyard next to the dog. I was so young. And i hid in my room and started creating things because I wanted the people I loved to have something to remember me by... When my brother killed me. It's just insane... It just kind of hit me.

The craziest part is that I actually made it to adulthood. People will forever think that's a dramatization but it really is a miracle. I was beaten almost daily up until the day before my 14th birthday. That was the day my mom finally left my dad over her resentment of the years he spent abusing her. She told me she was going to do it in the summer. To quietly pack my favorite things in the next couple months and not to breathe a word of it to anyone. The abuse seemed more bareable during those months when I knew my salvation was finally coming.

My dad resented me for not telling him ahead of time. I knew and didn't warn him. Him and my 2 brothers felt that I had betrayed them. He blamed me for the dissolution of the family and put all his suicidal thoughts on me the next day, for my 14th birthday phone call from him. But had I told him like he thinks I should have, him and my brother would have killed us and let the buzzards pick our bones clean in the woods. These are not the people that talk out problems. They are not the ones that try counseling. We would have both been destroyed for wanting to go and even at that age I knew that.

I traded abuse for neglect as my mother worked a lot, and focused on her new relationship with the man I'd later call my stepdad, and built her life back up from scratch. I joined marching band in my freshman year of high school to try and escape the pain of my total lack of family and I worked on a dairy farm starting at age 14 to support myself as far as hygiene, clothes, and food. My dad never paid a dollar of child support. My mom was either too stubborn or too scared to ever push for it.

There was no love felt. I felt like my mom just took me out of obligation. I didn't feel loved or like I belonged. My stepdad had no kids of his own. He didn't seem to like sharing my mom's attention with me. In hindsight, a damaged teenage girl IS a hell of a crash course in parenting, but I digress.

I had an older friend named Heather, who had a car. She gave me something to do. A place to go to get away. But she had an ex that was stalking her and I didn't know it at the time. She introduced him to me. He was 21 and I was 15 but she encouraged us to date so he would leave her alone. Again, hindsight is 20/20. I was desperate for love and a sense of belonging, support, and protection. He manipulated me into thinking I had that with him. All I needed to give in return was my unconditional obedience and loyalty.

He let me come to him with my problems. He let me be vulnerable with him. Then he called it love when he took advantage of my weakness. I was with him for 7 months but wanted out by the end of month 2. Once I tried to pull away, he started to stalk me as well. He lived over an hour away but would show up at my high school unannounced and demand me to skip class and leave with him. If i hesitated he woukd question my loyalty and threaten to kill himself if i didn't love him the way he loved me. So i went. He had connections within my school report to him if they saw me talking to any males. He forbade me wearing makeup or looking cute at all unless it was just for him. He watched my social media like a hawk, harassing any guy that liked my pics or commented. Demanding I delete them all or else he would kill himself. I was so naive. I had no idea how those types of games worked at the time and I feared that he actually would kill himself and that it would be my fault so he kept me in his clutches for awhile. I wasn't even allowed to focus on family, friends, or class because if I didn't text him back immediately and constantly, he would accuse me of cheating and make threats. I blamed myself for choosing this but really I guess a lack of family support and a safe place to communicate was really to blame. My adult "friend" who encouraged us to meet and date. The adult "man" that thought this was ok...

He coerced me our entire relationship to be sexual. I didn't want to be. He wanted pics. I said no. And so again he threatened and wore me down until I didn't know if I would deserve love if I said no. I didn't want to be alone. I felt like I had no one else in the world. So after months of saying no, he made me give in. And it wasn't at all what I expected it would be like.

It took me my entire adult life to fully become aware and to process that I was being groomed and molested. And I seemed to have no way out because my father uponing learning of my "relationship" and the age difference, simply said "don't get pregnant." And walked away.

My mother and stepdad didn't agree with me being with this guy but shamed and punished me for it instead of letting me turn to them about the horrible truth of my situation. I came home from school one day in November to find all of my belongings outside of my mother's house in boxes. Her and my sister packed it all while I was at school. I was not allowed in the house even to pee while I waited for my dad to finish his shift at work and come get me. I waited for hours outside with my stuff, crying.

When my dad finally pulled up, he was annoyed to see me and all my stuff. He didn't want me but had no choice. So i loaded my boxes into the bed of his pickup, and cried under my breath the whole ride back to the place where my brother felt safe letting the monster come out on me. I faced returning to the abuse at home, while being forced to stay in a relationship with a child molester.

It was then that I started wanting to kill myself. I was already expecting to be beaten to death up until that point so it didn't take a big shift in my mentality to resort to suicidal ideations. I pretty much figured I was gonna die anyway. Might as well end my life on my own terms rather than waiting for the day my brother finished what he seemed to start with every beating.

Side note, for those who think this was just sibling rivalry and it's normal, no. I never even got to defend myself. He was huge and mentally ill, with equal amounts strength and rage. It wasn't an even match. It wasn't normal. One time, he held me down with one leg over my body while he tried to snap my shin bones over his over knee like old dead tree branches. He kept trying. It was so scary it makes my stomach churn thinking about it. I could feel my bones bending with every time he slammed them down over his knee. I was small enough to wriggle out his his grip but my legs hurt too bad afterward to run. Or the time he grabbed me by my face, and broke several of my baby molars inward. After that he helped clean up the blood and tried to bribe me with honey candy, not to tell my parents. I don't even remember my childhood except for flashbacks back to stuff like that. Otherwise, it's blank.

So anyway, I wanted to die. I continued to create though it was less. All of my song lyrics and poems were about abuse, anguish, and the peace of death.

The point of this post originally was to explain how crazy it is that this all came full circle. At the time, I thought of everything I was drawing, writing, and singing on record, as my legacy. A way to live on and haunt those who put me there. When 13 Reasons Why came out, it really resonated with me because it was so close to the way I had always imagined my own death.

Now, i am still creating a legacy but this time it is out of gratitude because despite all of this, I lived. I lived to have the chance to inspire my own children and now the legacy I am building is for them to hold onto me forever. I'm getting to do more than I ever thought possible. Even though I didn't plan it out this far because I never expected to make it, I am starting to warm up to the idea of becoming an old hippie lady. I wanna take my dark and twisted life experience and use it to create beauty for others who are suffering to behold and connect with. It would be most fulfilling to find a way to share my story in hopes that it may shed light to other children who are being abused and feel like they have no one.

I refuse to believe that my suffering was for nothing.

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animalsarepeople2 · 7 years

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Could you make a master post of all your fics? You're awesome Ani!

Sure! And thanks, you’re awesome, too!! XD

…

HICCSTRID

Axestrid: One day on Berk, Astrid comes to the forge to get her axe fixed. Hiccup, to bashful to speak to her, watches and notices how much she loves her weapon. So he creates a nickname for her. But what will happen when Hiccup slips up and Astrid finds out what exactly he’s been calling her? One-shot.

Sincerely, Alone: Modern AU. Neglected ‘Hiccup’ Haddock finds comfort in a distant penpal- cool girl Astrid Hofferson. Hiccstrid. One-shot.

You’re Not Alone: Set before Shell Shocked: Part 1. The night before the big battle, Hiccup can’t sleep and goes outside to clear his mind. Little does he know that Astrid has the same dilemma.

Right Here If You Need Me: Set in RoB. Hiccup is still getting used to his prosthetic while balancing the academy and sudden changes in between. Astrid catches him at his weakest moment.

Don’t You Dare Die On Me: When Hiccup is injured in battle, Astrid frets for his life.

For the Dancing and the Dreaming: To celebrate their betrothal, Hiccup asks Astrid to perform a dance his own parents did, many years ago…

Three’s A Crowd: Everyone, it seems, knows about Hiccstrid. Everyone, that is, except Toothless. Every time Astrid and Hiccup try to share a moment, an unaware Toothless intervenes. Set shortly after RttE S4.

So… Do You Like Him?: Astrid and Heather have a girl talk about the Hiccstrid relationship. Meanwhile, a certain someone just happens to be walking by and hears the entire conversation…

Strategic Battle Planning: “Um… I think they need to discuss some final strategy. Alone.“ In the middle of Shell-Shocked Part 2, Astrid and Hiccup try and review the plan for the battle, but are obviously just enjoying the alone time together.

I’ve Got You- A Hiccstrid poem.

I’ll Take Care of You: Four times Hiccup got hurt and Astrid took care of him, and one time Hiccup got hurt and Astrid didn’t take care of him.

It’s Okay to Cry: Post HTTYD 2. Astrid walks in on Hiccup mourning the loss of his father, and comforts him with gentle and loving words only Hiccup can bring out of her.

The New Thing: What if, at the end of Shell Shocked Part 2, the Riders hadn’t seen the Hiccstrid kiss? Each find out separately and react in different ways, some better than others…

Home Is Where the Heart Is: A homesick Astrid goes back to Berk for a visit with her parents, but she soon realizes that home isn’t where you live- it’s who you’re with. And that’s with a certain brunette.

The Only One For Me: Astrid tries to help Hiccup with one of his inventions in the forge but they can’t focus. Hiccup has a more pressing matter… one involved with suitors, Stoick, and a birthday.

Warm Toes, Warmer Hearts: When Hiccup and Astrid are (once again) trapped in the remains of an avalanche, they must do the unthinkable to survive. Set in RTTE S3.

Bruises: When Hiccup accidentally agrees to an ice-skating competition with Snotlout, he finds himself in a tough spot. How can he skate with only one leg? But when Astrid offers to help him out, maybe things won’t go too badly after all.

Stay: After the events of Blindsided, Astrid is left with a fear of lightning due to her temporary blindness. When another storm strikes the Edge, Hiccup has his suspicions.

It Starts With Friendship: Every day, Astrid goes to train with her axe in the woods - but when Hiccup starts coming, too, she’s annoyed. However, with their new times together, she slowly finds out that Hiccup may not be as useless and odd as the village says.

Fear and Hope: An encounter with a secret phobia reveals that “Fearless” Astrid Hofferson may not be so unflinching. But years later, when the phobia endangers the life of Hiccup, the boy who’s now so much more than a friend, Astrid must face it to save him, because she now realizes she has a new worst fear...

All I Want for Snoggletog (Is You): Spending Snoggletog Eve snowed in the forge with Astrid definitely isn’t the holiday Hiccup was expecting, but maybe this could be an opportunity to connect with his crush. Maybe.

Reckless: After Astrid blows up to a comment Hiccup makes, her overreaction has unexpected consequences.

FATHER/SON

I’’ll Keep You Safe: Father’s Day special. “Hiccup… I’ll keep you safe… I won’t let anything happen to you… Promise. I will never leave you…” Since the moment Hiccup was born, Stoick promises that he will protect his little Hiccup with everything in him. Each Father’s Day since, he remembers. One-shot.

Stoick the Soprano: When one year-old Hiccup demands a lullaby, his father is not so sure that he can comply. One-shot.

The Haddock Family: Set a few months after HTTYD 2. Hiccup misses his father, but he finds out that even in death, Stoick is still there. And he’s left a legacy for his son. One-shot.

To Dance Alone: When there’s a town dance in Berk between the children and their moms, Hiccup doesn’t know what to do. But Stoick will always be there for his son. One-shot.

Vikings Don’t Cry: “I’ll be back… Probably.” Hiccup has heard these words before. Most times they are spoken by his father. He shouldn’t take much mind to them. But this time, it’s different. “Please, Daddy…” “Vikings, don’t cry.” And so that’s what Hiccup tells himself. Every trying time, he recites those words to himself, trying to find strength within… until he can’t. Angsty one-shot. *NEW*

HICCTOOTH

Tailfin: Toothless is still a growing boy. When he hits a large growth spurt, his tailfin doesn’t fit him anymore. However, the new alpha dragon doesn’t want to throw away the only connection he has to the happy past, so he refuses a new prosthetic. In consequence, his rider pays the price. Set shortly after HTTYD 2. One-shot.

The Last Flight: ‘Hiccup pressed his palm against Toothless’s forehead and allowed a tired smile. I’ll see you in Valhalla, buddy.”’ Hiccup is old and very sick… he’s losing hope. Toothless has a plan… but will it save his rider in the end? One-shot.

MULTI-CHAPTER FICS

A Day Without Dragons: After Hiccup realizes how dependent the Riders are on their dragons, he suggests the two groups separate for a day. Who knew how much the Riders actually relied on their ferocious friends?

Camp Dragons: Camp/Modern AU. When Hiccup is sent to summer camp, he can’t expect life to get much worse. He’s picked on for being the weakest and practically forgotten by his father. However, things change when Hiccup shoots down a mysterious black creature in the woods. Meanwhile, a beast nicknamed the “Red Death” lurks in the cliffs of Camp Dragons, threatening the camp’s very survival…

Eye of the Storm: Hiccup wasn’t joking when he said that rain tormented Berk nine months of the year. A hurricane rolls in just as Snoggletog is approaching and the Riders have returned to Berk for the holidays. And things spiral down when Stoick’s life is threatened and Hiccup sets off to save him, putting himself in danger in the process. Set in RTTE S2.

Always: After falling into a mild depression, Chief Hiccup decides he needs to get away from Berk for a bit to have time to accept Stoick’s death, and he and Toothless leave for a week-long trip. But when an injured Toothless returns to Berk without his rider, Hiccup’s friends must race to find their beloved chief before he is lost forever. Hiccstrid. Hiccup!whump.

Voltage: What-if for RTTE S6: Guardians of Vanaheim. After being struck by lightning, an injured Hiccup is left trapped with Astrid and Snotlout, who struggle to fight off attacking Dragon Flyers. Meanwhile, Johann and Krogan just need the last Dragon Eye lens to complete their puzzle... and an incapacitated Hiccup just might be the answer to that dilemma.

COUSIN BONDING

Cousin to Cousin: When Hiccup falls ill on a flight back to Berk with Snotlout, his cousin must put aside his rivalry and take care of the Dragon Conqueror. But can Snotlout really forget his everlasting feud and save Hiccup in time? Or will his obstinate pride get in the way?

Hero: *Dedicated to the brave soldiers who gave their lives for what they believed in. Thank you.* Post HTTYD 2. Drago Bludvist returns with a threat that could hurt all of Berk… a promise to kill Chief Hiccup. Snotlout wants to save them all from destruction. One-shot.

HUMOR/OTHER

Guy Talk: Astrid and Heather have frequent girl talks about Hiccup and Fishlegs… Meanwhile, Hiccup and Fishlegs have a guy talk… about Astrid and Heather. One-shot.

The Quest to Find Hiccup’s Leg: When Hiccup's prosthetic goes missing, everyone on Berk pitches in to help look for it. EVERYONE. Crazy one-shot. RoB time-zone.

Eternity: In Valhalla, Hiccup waits. He waits for his family. He waits for his friends. He waits for his dragon. One-shot.

My FF.net profile link…

animalsarepeopletoo

Phew, done! Hope you guys like ‘em. :-)

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silkbridal · 4 years

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Cristina & Vincent

Happy Friday! Today we introduce you to a couple with one of the sweetest love stories to date. Meet Cristina & Vincent VanAuker. They were married August 3rd, 2019 at The Arbor at The Port in downtown Rochester. Cristina wore one of our all-time favorite gowns, Imelda, from Pronovias Privée, a lace trumpet style gown adorned with crystal embellishments at the chest and romantic ( & deattachable!) off the shoulder sleeves. The Vanaukers were photographed by CR Photos with videography by Captivate Media . Florals by IDO Wedding Flowers. Follow their sweet story below and get a behind the scenes look at their amazing day.

“It was a typical Saturday afternoon, I was leaving the salon (late) and on my way to my best friends daughter, Eva’s ‘First Birthday Party’ (late) and managed to capture a speeding ticket on the way.

The birthday girl was holstered to my hip and ‘UNCLE VIN’ seemingly came out of no where. He obviously had to say hello to the birthday girl and the “shiny blonde-haired girl” that he’s never seen before holding his baby cousin and thought “she must be a cousin i’ve never met before”.

Little did I know, I was racing (worth that speeding ticket) to meet my soulmate that day.

Vinnie had JUST moved back from California. We always heard of each other through out the years and at Eva’s party we finally met for the first time.

Vinnie and I instantly connected so deeply and have been together since that day!

Hmm, our first date was kinda’ a double date that turned into a triple date. Vinnie and I met Amanda and Rocky (Eva’s parents) at Char Steak & Lounge. His brother, Sean and Heather joined and we had such a fun evening.

Our first date, just us, was at California’ Rollin’. We’re big sushi people and wanted to be by the water, who knew we we’re sitting right in-front of our wedding venue! We love it over there and visit frequently in the summer!

Who said ‘I love you first’?

Vincent!

How did you know he was “the one”

Vin says it best.

Remember when were kids and the adults always said “ when you know, you’ll just know”?

Him and I both were kinda like, “yeah, yeah but like HOW do you know?”

Honestly, it’s as simple as that, when you meet someone and they’re the person you’re supposed to be with your soul is kinda just like, “Oh hey, there you are! Where ya been?!”

When we met, our relationship and our connection is like nothing we’ve ever experienced before.

When you know, you truly know!

Location/Proposal Story

This one is fun!

I’ll try to keep it as short as possible!

Vinnie was turning the big 30 in November of 2018. If you know my Husband, you know he’s one to constantly think and do for others. He’s generous, caring, thoughtful and so much more. It’s also pretty impossible to surprise him. I wanted a night to simple honor HIM (without him knowing).I began planning a SURPRISE ‘Frank + the Rat Pack’ themed party for him.

Our buddy, Jay Marker from Spectrum Sounds would be on the beats playing all of the Sinatra inspired tunes as well as Terrence Bruce on the saxophone. Our friend, Denali Simone would be photographing as well as our friend Jake Levin (Captivate Media) filming the night. I rented that cool, rustic barn in Henrietta, NY that would suit the theme, vibe and ambiance all too perfectly.

Yes, I was going ALL out.

Vin was searching the perfect time to propose.

He didn’t let many people know, that he was soon proposing. He wanted it to be a complete surprise to me, of course. His brother, Sean and his wife, Heather were two of those few people that knew. They called Vin one day and shared that I was planning something phenomonal for his up-coming 30th birthday and that I was confident Vincent knew NOTHING about any of it. Sean and Heather shared nothing about the event except that our entire family would be there, all of our closest friends and that a photographer/videographer would be capturing the entire evening. They had hoped Vin wouldn’t think it’d be a terrible idea and potentially ruin the entire surprise for him.

“SOLD, BOOK IT, PERFECT, BRILLIANT. She’ll NEVER know that I know” said Vin.

It’s actually pretty hysterical - I had essentially been lying to him for WEEKS - and obviously he had been doing the same to me, he went along with everything I was saying!

The best part was when I was gone the entire day “setting up, preparing and decorating”, he kept offering his help, asking when I’d be home, etc. The whole time, I prepped him to believe we were attending our friends parents “Gatsby” themed anniversary party - which totally suits the couple, by the way. I had a fake invitation and everything!

I was 100% convinced that he knew NOTHING about his surprise birthday party.

We got dressed in our Rat Pack inspired outfits, looking dapper as ever.

Vinnie was playing literally ALL of “our” songs on our way to the party (I never put two and two together). Probably because I was anxious and wanted everything to be perfect for him!

Little did I know, he was feeling the SAME EXACT WAY.

We entered Vin’s birthday party, it was like something out of a movie. Everyone shouted “SURPRISE”, Sinatra and the Sax were blasting, and Vin played out a perfect “surprise” reaction. Even though he knew about the party, I still believe he was a little shocked. With the extent of the detail, the theme, the decor, the photos, the friends, the family, how incredible everyone looked, etc. “I really freaking got him, I did it!“ I thought. He was in tears. That probably had to do with the fact that he was about to ask the most important person to him, the biggest question of his life. I remember proudly saying to Sean, “ we freakin’ got him, dude! ”

After saying hello to our friends and family, Vin grabbed the mic to give a thank you speech (not out of the ordinary). Vinnie is a phenomenal public speaker. As soon as he grabbed that mic, I was front row and dialed in - I always love hearing him speak. He began talking about his “20’s goals” (I know what his goals are) and I couldn’t help but think, “there is absolutely no way he is about to propose, he thought we were coming to Maureen and Christians party, he wouldn’t have brought a ring here!”.

Low and be hold, that incredible speech turned into the most beautiful moment of our lives, our Forever! I felt like I was in one of them dreams where you couldn’t move, speak, nothing. Shocked is an understatement. I think before I blubbered “YES”, I asked him if he knew the whole time!

It. Was. Absolutely. Perfect!

Vinnie turned his moment into ours.

Oh, he also had my best friend Jeavanna, who lives in Florida fly down. She was hiding upstairs (for only about three hours in the pitch black) and seemingly popped out of no where shortly after Vinnie proposed.

His 30th birthday party quickly became our engagement party. Surrounded by our closest friends, our family, good music. It was the best night ever!

A real life fairy-tale, they do exist, y’all.

We asked Cristina about how she knew her dress was “the one”: I always knew I wanted to go dress shopping for the first time by my self.My Mother passed away in September of 2013. I live daily knowing she’s always with me. Vincent and I believe she guided us to one another. I went by myself because I felt like it was just her and I going. That was special to me...

“... I always knew I wanted to go to Silk. I had no intentions or ambitions of going anywhere else. I picked out a bunch of dresses. I was trying on probably my 12th dress, I got about half way in it and began to say out loud, “this looks really similar to Heathers dress!” (My sister in law, Heather, is also a Silk Bride) Kendra looked at the tag and immediately said, “you’re right, it is Heather’s dress!” We can’t have the same dress, I thought and I threw it (gently) off me! Kendra seemingly grabbed a dress (I still don’t know where she got it from) that I did not see anywhere. It looked amazing while she was holding it, and I thought why not! I put it on and immediately knew it was the one! Yes, I believe my Mom did that, too! My dress was designed by Pronovias and with Fatima’s touch, it fit me like a glove. It’s like it was made for me. I truly felt like Cinderella in it on our wedding day”.

On one of her favorite memories from their wedding day: “My bridal party as well as my father, my brothers and my nephew joined me in visiting my Mom before we arrived to our wedding venue. That was special...

...It was important to Vinnie and I to have her present in our day. There were photos of her everywhere. She had her own chair at the ceremony and at the reception.”

Also, we truly love how much FUN everyone had. The dance floor remained full the entire night. That was pretty awesome. Our guests STILL reach out to us about it!

What are you most looking forward to in married life

August 2020 will be a year married and everyday has been amazing.

This year, we became Godparents together and welcomed our Godson to the world.

We look forward to grow and enjoy this beautiful life.

We look forward to creating and building a family of our own.

Ultimately, being healthy and living this journey together as Husband and Wife is absolutely everything, we couldn’t ask for more.

We are truly Blessed.

#silkbridal #silk bride #rochesterny #rochesterwedding #love #celebrate #rochester #silkbridalboutique

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flcwerstudies · 7 years

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cute tag!

pretty long post coming up!! Thanks to @cafedetude for tagging me!! im tagging: @hermiionegrcnger @studying-frenzy @belledoe @tiny-notes @theteadesk !! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ofc and if u want to do it and i haven’t tagged you go ahead!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? there must always be more milk than cereal, but that amount must not exceed a certain amount do you get me? when i scoop my cereal there has to be proportionate amounts of milk in each scoop, consistently, until i have finished my bowl. my mind is a strange and lonely place.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yes! its so refreshing and i feel like all your lethargy just evaporates... i love taking walks in the winter around my neighborhood in the evenings.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? spoons, lipsticks, i once used another book to bookmark a book, hair elastic, my contact lenses case, compact mirror....im a mess, i know

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: scalding hot with lots of sugar and some milk. coffee: lots of milk, so much sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? no? i just want my braces off!!

6: do you keep plants? yess

7: do you name your plants? yes! i am currently growing two wild roses and I’ve named them Calliope and Polymnia.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? journaling, writing, reenacting musicals and dramatic renditions of songs?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yeah ofccc it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back and side

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? CAROL THE LESBIAN LIBRARIAN // mary walks by // too many to list here tbh

12: what’s your favorite planet? mars! and also venus

13: what’s something that made you smile today? my friends

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? a hurricane flew thru the entire place, empty wine bottles on the ground, beanbag chairs, stacks of books and movies, maybe a cat and a dog lazing around on the couch

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! there’s a gigantic cloud of alcohol wayyyyy out in outer space that could produce over 450 trillion pints of beer

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? give me all the pasta. i love all pastas.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? im ok with my hair color now

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. GETTING A CAPUCHIN MONKEY AS MY PATRONUS ON POTTERMORE

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yes! i rant a lot and i sort of write down reflections? on my day and things. its really emo and angsty lmao im 16 pls

20: what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes. so gentle. so sharp. so kind but so cruel. so ambiguous!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my tote bag from myanmar! the straps are falling off but i love it so much

22: are you a morning person? depends on if i slept early enough

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, watch a movie, watch youtube, read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? absolutely not. it always pisses me off when people are like ohhh you can tell me anything??? no i can’t????

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? my friend’s house lmao

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my peach converse! they’re so pastel and they seem weird but converse generally go well with a lot of things

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don’t like gum tbh

28: sunrise or sunset? both

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? sticks his tongue out when he’s concentrating and its so cute i die everytime

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes but i will never ever go into detail with anyone about this lmao

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i love socks, i like wearing weird socks except for toe socks, people who sleep with socks on are Immune to Heat and Not Afraid Of Dying?? no white socks get nasty real quick and they’re so bland, i love socks i have this grey pair with french bulldog faces allllll over it and i wear them all the time and even though people can’t see them i still get happy and tell people about my dog socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. HA LMAO we had just watched a scary movie so obviously we turned on my little pony and watched that for two hours

33: what’s your fave pastry? cupcakes! anything tbh i have an enormous sweet tooth

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my dad used to go on a lot of business trips and he came back once with a huge stuffed bear from switzerland and its so fuzzy its still on my bed. it’s name is Fred and it wears overalls and it has brown fur!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes to all!!

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? paul anka lmao he’s not a band but ya know

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! wHEN UR JAMMING OUT TO MUSIC AND THEN SPOTIFY JUST STOPS WORKING?? people asking me if im mad when im just being quiet and then making me mad by continually questionning me, people who will ask dumb questions (yes, there are always dumb questions. google is free and im not going to tell u the homework, it’s written on the board quite clearly u moron), racist/homophobic/ableist/ generally offensive and disrespectful people

39: what color do you wear the most? grey and navy

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have mismatching earrings that my grandmother got me for my birthday!

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Fifteen Dogs by Andre Alexis!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! the starbucks on center street it’s very Starbucks, exactly what you would expect, but I always sit in the corner spot near the windows

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My family!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? sitting in the sand in shell key, florida. my feet are in the water and i am watching my family swimming. I am very sunburnt but my mind is completely blank in a good way

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? absolutely

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. ofc they used a baby lion as their mascot. it’s simba-lic.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? there’s this food in korea that’s just stir fried rice with soybean sprouts and the sprouts..... aw god....they refuse to be bitten in half and it’s so gross i hate it sm

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? darkness! and no it is different today!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? there are scarce places to buy CD’s now but the last one I bought was Micheal Jackson’s Bad

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? bottle caps and paperclips and also pens i pick off the ground

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my dad. any aretha franklin song

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the spongebob one and the gif of the white man who blinks a lot....u know the one

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i loved all of them and i want to be able to quote them in all of my speech but i dont think people have watched all of them

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? i was working on homework last night and when i was turning on my laptop to work on my project i met my reflection in the screen

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? been incredibly bitchy like damn.....i surprise myself and i really hate it

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when people use weird shit as bookmarks, when they laugh with their eyes shut, laugh lines near their eyes, dimples, kindness, when they aren’t afraid of making eye contact with me bc i have weirdly intense eyes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it did not fit the mood of my day but yes i did reenact the lyrics

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my friend diana is the wine mom but i am the vodka aunt. why?? she is infinitely more caring and kind and sophisticated and also wine gets u lowkey, calm drunk, while i, the vodka aunt, am caring, but i have a bit of a laissez faire attitude and go with the flow and ‘damn what the hell fuck it’ kinda vibe and vodka gets u sloppy shitfaced drunk with none of the sophistication that comes with wine.

59: what’s your favorite myth? icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i dont LOVE poetry but i like haikus they’re like clever one liners ha

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I gave my friend a notebook that i’d hastily made the night before and I have received a box of pads which in retrospect is not even a stupid present bc pads are expensive

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? i drink oj when i can

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i organize them every month bc i am ridiculous and i can’t function if my bookshelf is weirdly organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale grey almost white.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? my oldest group of friends (TNT lmaoooo) OR YOU KNOW callixtus from volunteering holyyy. you know those people who u meet and u immediately click with?? he’s on of them magical people and he was hella funny too i miss that guy to all hell

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? small roses! peach blossoms and cherry blossoms too. one huge ass hibiscus or lotus flower as a statement piece

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? cozy and sheltered. valid excuse for not going out

68: what’s winter like where you live? terrible but i love it kinda

69: what are your favorite board games? monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board? NO WHAT

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? barley, green or reallllyyyy black tea with loootss of sugar so that it makes your teeth ache

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah how’d you know

73: what are some of your worst habits? expecting everyone to be on the same page

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. dedicated and brash, loud and hilarious, soft, amazing, i love them a lot

75: tell us about your pets! i dont have pets!! T-T

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? studying BUT DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS OK

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? hateclub sorry

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? done my makeup for me while gossiping with me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? pale green and yeah i did. i chose it bc i love green! and the old color was boring and i didn’t like it

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. no edges at all, soft bovine eyes , shaking leaves, crocodile tears

82: are/were you good in school? yes! it’s a source of a lot of pride for me!

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? amsterdam by nothing but thieves omg

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? oohh nahh im not planning on getting tattoos im scared of needles

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? through the woods? i used to read a lot of them but you know i grew out of them

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? not especially no

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the drop, double indemnity, back to the future, idk there’s a lot

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? the rennaissance! it was so extra and i loved it a lot

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. TORONTO-soaring skyline from the highways at night near the lakeshore, the lights from the condos are like stars and its ridiculous but i also loooooveee dubrovnik in croatia and hanoi in vietnam and kaunas in lithuania and kyoto in japan.....in dubrovnik the wind blows in from the shore and at night when the lights are on in the walled city the stone glows amber. In Hanoi in the old quarter, motorbikes flash by and there’s yelling and the smell of pork skewers and there’s old buildings and new ones, huge stalks of bamboo leaning up against the walls. In Kaunas the wind is so cold and sharp and the buildings are so clean and there’s that old fortress and the tower! it’s so beautiful. and Kyoto is old and archaic but so modern it hurts and the streets are too uniform and the houses creep me out a bit bc they’re so quiet.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? i dont think so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i will bury my pasta in cheese just you watch

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? my hair is one style fits all bc its short

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? study and work on projects and homework and stress and nap and have dinner with a guest

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? no updates. we die like men.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? isfj-t, aries, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? sometime in september? it was nice!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. put your head on my shoulder by paul anka....there’s a lot and im really lazy sorry

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future, just to see where I end up

#tagged #ask games #nice!#tagged games #tag games #about me

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jennycalendar · 7 years

Text

Imperfections (31/?)

ao3

these next few chapters are a Trip tbh

“Willow!” Jenny had to walk a little faster to match Willow’s pace. “I wasn’t sure if—I mean, you didn’t stop by the hospital to check in.”

“I figured Faith was taking care of that,” said Willow awkwardly, glancing sideways at Ms. Calendar as she walked. “You mentioned in your email that she was staying with you.”

“Well, yeah, but there’s still something I wanted to talk to you about.” Jenny stopped walking, waiting for Willow to stop as well.

Reluctantly, Willow turned, meeting Jenny’s eyes hesitantly. “What’s up?”

Jenny breathed out. “I am so sorry that I’ve been neglecting our magic lessons,” she said with gentle vehemence. “I really want to make it up to you. Any way I can.”

Willow crossed her arms, looking down at the floor. “Sure,” she said tiredly.

“Will it help if I set a date?” Jenny persisted.

“Sure.” Willow shrugged, still looking quiet and sad. “Whenever is fine.”

Jenny sighed. “I really am sorry.”

“I know.” Willow still didn’t look up.

“How about tomorrow?” Jenny suggested. “We can meet in the library, and maybe you can show me all the magic you’ve been practicing. How’s that?”

Willow’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “Practicing?” she repeated, her voice a squeak.

Jenny blinked. “Of course, it’s okay if you haven’t been practicing,” she added hastily. “I know you’ve been pretty distracted—”

“No, I-I’ve been practicing!” said Willow in a high, anxious voice. “I’ve been practicing so much—you’ll be amazed at the spells I can do now!”

Jenny smiled, feeling a small, warm sense of relief. She didn’t like seeing Willow anxious, but anxious was better than detached and miserable. Jenny could handle anxious. “Okay,” she agreed gamely. “We’ll meet tomorrow and I’ll see if I can teach you something new, okay?”

Willow gave Jenny a weak half-smile. “Okay,” she said nervously.

“Hey,” said Faith, sauntering up to them both. “Giles sent me to get Jen. You good with that, Red?”

Willow’s half-smile vanished. Without a word, she hurried into the nearest classroom, shutting the door behind her.

“She okay?” Faith asked, frowning.

“I’m working on it,” said Jenny truthfully. “How are you?”

“Meh,” said Faith, falling into step with Jenny as they headed towards the library. “My birthday’s soon, so that’s kinda cool. We won’t have to worry about crazy Council evaluators almost killing your boyfriend while they’re trying to take me away.”

Jenny smirked. “The Council swears there was a memo about Mrs. Post.”

“What I can’t believe is that Giles didn’t pick up on her being evil until she hit him with that big statue,” Faith quipped, holding the library door for Jenny. “I knew the minute she was all ‘Gwendolyn Post, Mrs.’”

Jenny stepped through the library doors and was just about to make another comment on Mrs. Post when Rupert picked her up, hugging her tightly and swinging her around. “Rupert!” she laughed, then, “Okay, okay, put me down, the nurse said no overdoing it.”

“We’re going away,” said Rupert excitedly, gently letting Jenny down enough so that her feet touched the ground.

“What?” Jenny had to smile, he looked so delighted.

“It’s sort of a-a supernatural retreat thing tomorrow night,” Rupert explained happily, “and it’s at the site of some fascinating druidic rituals, and I’ve been bothering the people in charge about letting you come for months—”

“Oh!” Jenny beamed. “This is that thing you were talking about back in September!”

“What’s going on?” inquired Faith with interest.

Jenny turned, draping her arms around Rupert’s shoulders. “There’s a supernatural retreat going on for a few days,” she said brightly, “and it looks like Rupert and I are off to have our own little romantic getaway.”

“Well.” Rupert hesitated. “There are going to be some other people—”

“Let me have my moment.” Jenny kissed Rupert on the cheek, then faltered. “Shit. I promised Willow I’d meet her in the library tomorrow. When are we leaving?”

“Oh—um—” Rupert faltered. “I-initially I was thinking we would leave after school, but I don’t see the harm in us heading out a bit later if you’d like to catch up with Willow.”

“Wait.” Faith looked a little concerned. “Not that I’m not happy you guys are getting some time to be with each other, but are you sure this is the right time to go off on a retreat?”

“Technically, the research being conducted at the retreat could be useful in future Hellmouth-related incidents,” Rupert replied easily, “so this is really just a business trip.”

“With me,” Jenny added. “A business trip with me.”

Faith rolled her eyes, smiling. “Fine. You two crazy kids have your honeymoon. I’m pretty sure we can hold down the fort for a few days.”

Willow’s mom was kind of big on giving kids space. When pressed, she’d always said that she liked to think her daughter was independent enough to no longer need maternal care and affection. That wouldn’t have been a problem if Willow hadn’t been eight years old when her mom had started saying things like that, or if anyone had ever thought to call Willow’s mom out on saying things like that. But everyone always seemed to look at Willow and think sweet, well-adjusted, doesn’t need as much attention. The kind of girl who’d do fine on her own.

Willow wasn’t doing fine on her own. But Ms. Calendar seemed pretty busy lately, what with the whole Troubled-Slayer thing Faith had going for her. That was what always seemed to make all the adults get fussy and worried—the sullen, hard-to-reach kids. Not Willow.

Except…her mom had always paid attention to Willow’s high grades and glowing teachers’ notes. Maybe if Willow pulled off some kind of extra impressive, extra advanced spell and did it for Ms. Calendar tomorrow, Ms. Calendar would think something like wow, Willow’s clearly a gifted student who needs attention and coaching! Or not exactly that, but maybe something close. Something that would make Ms. Calendar do a double-take and decide that maybe Willow needed some more attention.

Satchel slung over one shoulder, Willow opened the door of the Magic Box, smiling shyly as Ms. Heather hurried up to her.

“Blessed be, Willow!” said Ms. Heather warmly. “It’s been quite a while since you and Ms. Calendar have been by. Is she here too?”

Willow’s smile slipped. “Oh. No. Just me.”

“Pass along my well wishes, then,” said Ms. Heather.

Willow bit her lip, trying not to think about Ms. Calendar. “I-I was actually wondering if you could help me out a little.”

Ms. Heather frowned. “What with?”

“Um, I’m trying to—find some kind of powerful spell,” hedged Willow. “You know. For research. Ms. Calendar and I are getting together tomorrow to do some magic, and I wanted to have something to, uh, research with her.”

“Hmm.” Ms. Heather tapped her chin. “Perhaps a love spell should do the trick? That’s certainly powerful magic.”

“Oh, no.” Willow laughed nervously. “Been there, done that, and let me tell you, love spells aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”

Ms. Heather smiled and stepped neatly behind the cash register, rummaging under the shelves. “Here,” she said. “I’m sure there’s something in my old grimoire that you and Ms. Calendar can go over together.”

“Thanks!” Willow took the grimoire, smiling gratefully. “Should I—I mean, how much—”

Ms. Heather waved a hand. “Just bring it back when you’re done.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much!” Willow felt a rush of warmth. Hugging the grimoire, she added, “Have a nice day, Ms. Heather!”

“You as well.” Ms. Heather inclined her head, giving Willow a small smile as she left with the grimoire.

Behind the bookshelf, Spike smiled slowly.

So, he thought. One of the Slayer’s annoying little friends might prove useful after all.

“Rupert, this retreat isn’t even a week long,” said Jenny disbelievingly, looking at the many carefully packed bags on their bed. Picking up a winter jacket, she added, “You do know that this is southern California, right?”

“Never hurts to be prepared,” Rupert replied seriously, throwing a broadsword onto the bed.

“Whoa. No.” Jenny picked up the broadsword, placing it carefully down on the dresser. “It’s a supernatural mentor retreat, not a battle.”

“Jenny, if we are jumped by a—a winged bear soldier—”

“Okay, now you’re just making things up.”

“—we are going to want weapons readily available.” Rupert strode over to the dresser, picking up the broadsword and placing it purposefully down on the bed.

Jenny smiled, reluctantly amused. “I hope you know that I’m not helping you carry any of this.”

Rupert looked up with a small grin. “Of course. And I’m not helping you carry the dozens of rocks you decide you want to bring home.”

“Fair’s fair.” Jenny turned from the dresser. “Okay. I gotta swing by the library to do the whole magic thing with Willow, but I’ll try and be back in time to grab a bite before we leave.”

“I’m making mini pizzas,” said Rupert cheerfully. “Faith always seems quite open to my culinary experiments. It’s lovely.”

“She’s a cool kid.” Jenny stepped forward, giving Rupert a long, tender kiss. “Mmm. God, it’s going to be nice to get some alone time with you.”

“Academic retreat time,” Rupert corrected, but he looked happier than Jenny had seen him in a long while.

Jenny smiled back and left the bedroom, giving Faith (who was sprawled on the living room floor working on homework) a quick grin on her way out of the house. Unlocking her car, she tried to remember where she’d left off in her lessons with Willow.

“Okay,” she murmured, opening the car door and climbing in. “We did transformation spells—sugar into salt. We did that. We did…fuck, what else did we do?” She started up the car, feeling more than a little guilty; her inability to remember their magic lessons said a lot about how long it had been since she’d spent time with Willow.

But that was okay. It wasn’t okay now, but it would be when Jenny made up for doing an impressive vanishing act.

“Vanishing!” said Jenny triumphantly, accidentally turning the radio on in her exuberance. Hastily, she turned it off again, focusing instead on her drive to the school.

Willow was waiting in the parking lot, looking more than a little bit tense. “It’s kinda late,” she said nervously. “I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. I think maybe we should go somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I second that.” Jenny glanced around. “You wanna get in my car and head over to my place? We can get dinner with Faith, and then—”

“Oh—no, actually, the library’s okay!” Willow said in an unusually high-pitched voice. “We can go to the library! How about we go to the library?”

“Willow,” said Jenny carefully, “is there something you want to talk to me about?”

“Nope!” Willow gave her a very badly feigned smile, crossing her arms in front of her chest and rocking on the balls of her feet. “Let’s just go inside, Ms. Calendar. The library has the best books, and—not to dis Giles, but most of his books are in boxes right now, so I don’t know how much use—”

Abruptly, Jenny felt someone grab her wrist from behind, twisting it hard, and then she was tossed roughly to the ground. She heard Willow’s scream. “Willow!” she shouted, pulling herself awkwardly up to a standing position. She reeled.

“Oh, for—” Spike gave Jenny an irritated (and somewhat inebriated) look, Willow held in front of him like a shield. “How the hell are you not dead? You were all—tortured last I saw you.”

“Shut up and let go of Willow,” said Jenny sharply.

“I’m sorry, ‘m I supposed to listen to you?” Spike vamped out. Willow uttered a terrified whimper.

Jenny felt a rush of panic and anger. What she did next wasn’t the smartest thing she’d ever done, but it was the only thing she could think to do. Running forward, she tackled Spike and Willow, knocking them to the ground.

In his surprise, Spike let go of Willow, just enough for Jenny to pull her out of his grasp. She staggered to her feet, holding Willow very tightly to her. “You’re okay you’re okay you’re okay,” she whispered, heart pounding as she stroked a shaking Willow’s hair.

“Not quite,” said Spike, and lunged.

#fic #imperfections #as the braveryverse gets longer and more arduous #i recognize that it will be more and more of a time commitment to start reading #and yet i keep writing!!!! help

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