Short my Boyfriend $200+? Enjoy Your Divorce

Traditional LTL and FTP, forgive me for any formatting or grammar errors. Hope y’all get a kick out of this. It’s a SUPER long one. A lot of people know I tumblr so some details have been changed but overall the story is as accurate as can be.

So this whole debacle started in my freshman year of college. I went to a religious college so there were a lot of really strict rules regarding curfew and punishments for not going to the mandatory worships, this comes into play later. Background on me: I am not a physically imposing young lady, just under 5 ft and 100 lbs soaking wet and wearing cinderblock shoes. At this time I had been recently dumped and so I was starting college practically alone as my ex and I were set to go to the same university but he dropped out to join military school. Before we start lets denote some names:

Me: is me of course Andy: is my dear boyfriend (now fiancé) Jess: one of my Best friends and roommate after the first quarter And finally the antagonist of the tale: Sam Not real names of course, and at the start of this we were all 18 we are all 24-25 now.

As this was a religious School, we had a sort of camp out in the week or two before classes started, it was meant to be a getting to know you kind of thing, and so we had things called “family groups”, I was a little freaked out, but in the group there was one loud, overly friendly girl named Sam. Sam was the same ethnicity as me and so we quickly bonded over a shared ethnic background and how similar we were, she had a boyfriend in the army and I lamented my single status and how my ex basically ditched me for the navy. She seemed perfect, sympathetic, social, and fun. I warmed up to our family group with the help of my new best friend. We had a great weekend, and got to know others in the group, including Jess. Jess was more quiet and disinterested, with a classic case of resting bitch face but eventually she warmed up to me and I to her. Sam didn’t really like them but you wouldn’t know it unless she told you.

The first sign of something off with her was during dinner, I was sitting with Jess and her friend from high school Andy. He and I really hit it off, but as my heart was still freshly broken I kept some boundaries up but agreed to go watch a movie when we got back from the trip. Immediately Sam pulled up a chair and was all over him, asking about his past, how he and Jess met, what he thought about her outfit, and on and on. I was a little miffed but just ate my burrito. For the rest of the trip Andy and I were hardly apart and Sam got more and more passive aggressive with me, bringing up my ex and how I was moving on too quickly. I believed her and cancelled my “date” with Andy, and said that I didn’t want him to just be a rebound. He was understanding and chill with just being friends which was a blessing for me, but seemingly not good enough for Sam. After the trip was over I decided to show them around the city since I was a local student. While the others put their stuff in their rooms Sam asked me to stay behind because she had to “confess” something to me. She started spewing some bs about how Andy had cornered her outside the cabin and was being a pervert and telling her how beautiful she was so on and so forth. I was skeptical and made it known, but her response was just “just looking out for ya girly.” By then the others came back and I just decided to ignore what she said and have a good time in the city. This was incident 1.

A couple weeks go by, Andy, Jess, and I became a little squad of sorts because all our schedules matched up, whereas finding time to hang out with Sam was more than difficult. This all came to a head when Jess and Andy planned a little trip to the local Benihana place and didn’t invite Sam. She found out via social media and flew off the handle. I had gone home for the weekend and when I came back on Monday I was greeted with drama, tears, and accusations. The gist of the situation is, the group didn’t invite Sam because she is vegetarian and has a lot of allergies, so it would be dangerous to even step foot in the Benihana, and in retaliation Sam took her “best friends” aka random girls from the dorm, horse back riding and posted a photo with the caption “better than Benihana”. (Incident 2)

Once again this is what I came back to and so things were pretty frosty. I asked for some backstory and apparently, it was work friends who invited Andy and Jess so it wasn’t even their place to invite someone else, and it wasn’t like she would be able to eat anything at the Benihana anyways so they literally didn’t even think they were being rude. According to Sam, they were purposefully excluding her and that no one likes her and that this was just like it was in high school. She didn’t have very many friends and we were just becoming privy to why exactly that was.

Incident 3 was the friendship bracelets. She ordered these semi-expensive bracelets for me and Jess but mysteriously Jess’s broke in the mail and the replacement would “totally come any day now”. Jess pretended not to be hurt but it obviously stung when she would fawn over our bracelets and how we are such great friends. Spoiler the bracelet never came.

Now I was still trying to smooth things over but it kept getting worse and worse, if I was hanging out with Andy or jess she wouldn’t speak to me, but would only talk shit when we were alone. During all of this Andy and I kept getting closer and eventually started dating but low-key cause the whole situation with Sam and we didn’t want to set her off. I know we were spineless back then.

Now for the catalyst for the revenge. She was a wanna-be youtuber, and wanted to do a holiday video. Andy is a film major but he doesn’t want anything to do with her after all her lies and petty behavior. But then she made an offer we couldn’t refuse, “I’ll give you $200 and pay for food” and for what should’ve been an hour or two of filming we were sold. I was set to manage the site, since that’s my personality is “get it done”, and he was in charge of filming. He worked so hard on it ya’ll, he story boarded, he made a script for her, he got all his equipment together. I was so proud of him. I contacted the diner where we were filming and got everything together and we were set.

Filming Day arrives and we get our hair and makeup done for the “actors” and “actresses” and we all get to the diner an hour before, at her insistence, and set up. She says she’ll be 30 minutes late and so we decide to eat after shooting some B-roll. Guess how long it took her and her “entourage” to arrive? 2 whole hours. We finally get filming and if you are counting we have been at the diner for 4 hours, pre-filming. We spend another 2 hours filming and we have to take after pics in our outfits and everything. Did she pay for our food? Nope. And she tells Andy “You got a big payday coming, you deserve more than 200 for today.” He’s happy cause he wanted to take me out for a nice date for the holiday but spoiler again, she didn’t pay up.

So a week or two goes by and it gets closer and closer to holiday and we already turned over all the footage we are just waiting for payment. Then came the excuses, “I don’t trust zelle.”, “I’m waiting for my auntie to pay me.”, “my aunts in the Caribbean right now and she doesn’t trust zelle either.” We kept hounding her for the money and the holiday came and went, she posted the video and stopped answering texts. Since we all lived together I confronted her and more excuses then she said give her two more weeks.

During those two weeks, she told everyone who would listen that she already paid us and that we were terrible people to try and extort her for more. Now at this point in the year, we are fed up with her, and Andy is ready to write the 200 off, he bitches to his smoking buddies and the smoking buddies get our side of the story out to the relatively small school and pretty soon she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She gets nasty, texting me all this bs about how Andy is cheating on me and that I deserve better and screenshots of their conversations where he supposedly tells her how he’d rather not be committed. Now we had some commitment issues in the beginning, on both sides, but she tried to present these texts as recent, not stuff from months ago. The final straw was when she called me stupid and naive for staying in the relationship despite him being a greedy man whore.

Now I was going scorched earth, for some background on Sam. She was a chronic cheater, like get drunk at a party and give a guy a blowjob cheater, then go out the next weekend and do it again. She was also married, she and her husband got married right out of high school, which is typical of army guys in my experience. The ink wasn’t even dry on the marriage certificate, less than a year when she burned us. But I was someone she chose to confide in since she thought I was too stupid to see through her after all the shit she put us through. So I gathered evidence, all the cheated, the videos of her doing shit at parties, sexts with various guys, the drinking binges, and her shit talking her loving army boyfriend. I gathered all of this information for more than a year, I felt horrible for the guy but I needed a file that would damn her to legal hell.

D-day arrived when about a year and a half after I met her she told me that she thought her husband was cheating as when he was deployed she found a video on his phone of him and his buddy dancing on some girls in a club. Sam was livid, she was cursing and swearing she would take him for every cent in court for cheating on her. Never mind that she was blowing guys for fun every other weekend. I asked her if she had proof, and she said that proof doesn’t matter, they always believe the hurt wife.

I complied all my evidence and wrote a very long apology letter for waiting this long, and sent it anonymously. Sam didn’t return to school the next year and I kinda lost track of her. I got reminded when my fiancé showed me that terrible video we did for her, I confessed what I did and we social media stalked her accounts. She now posts a lot of “single and loving it” memes and she has a few vlogs talking about fake friends and how simple living is the best. I guess thats a consequence of loosing her luxurious “rich girl” lifestyle that her husbands family provided for her. Looking at her ex-husbands page he has a beautiful wife and a baby on the way, looking way happier than I’d ever see him.

TL;DR: So yeah, don’t be a bitch and short people 200 dollars. It'll cost you your husband, your cushy lifestyle, respect, and one year of nontransferable credits at an out the ass expensive school.

(source) (story by traightTrade488)

1/1/2019~reflection

yo, so im not really sure how to do this. I think I just made a random Tumblr to let the feelz out. because your girl gotta lotta them. hence the lotta lex. but I am still not comfortable with people seeing my shit that I know because putting my feelings out to the world that sees me in every day life is fucking terrifying.

SO. basically, I am just her to reflection my life the last year because it is now 2019 and that is the basic girly thing to do ~*~*~ 

Jan- wtf even happened in January of last year. gimme a sec to look at my pictures. pretty sure thats when I riddled with anxiety constantly and crying alone in my apartment while my ex-boyfriend went out all the time with his friends and I hated my life. lets check. my god, first of all I was fat. and had black hair and bangs. (tf did no one stop me for.) HOWEVER, my sweet angel nephew was born and I got to cry as I held him for the first time and fell in love with him. I remember being so terrified that my bff would have an ugly baby but that bitch had to outdo us and produce the cutest lil human. god bless. I started my journey on being a vegetarian on this day last year. which was amazing and I could see my body changing while knowing I was helping the planet. that being said, it’s time to return to that. Contemplated chopping my hair off. clearly going thru a lil crisis at this point lol. my other best friend found out her bf was talking to anther girl and I had to hold all that shit in because I was angry. and did she leave? nah, ya girl didn't but its alright hit up May on here I’m sure you’ll see how she got him back lol. alright so Jan wasn’t the worst. pretty good bc of the bean.

Feb- Ain’t got no clue wtf went on here. I remember my ex took the day off work to watch a fucking soccer game on valentines day instead of coming to see me lol. Jacqui came to visit during this time apparently lol nice. Yes, omg I fucked called into work and went to St. Louis and SMASHED some Korean bbq. fuck that sounds so fire right now. we played overwatch which is always fun. I didn’t get chosen for an animal caregiver position lol. getting skinnier. got the lush shampoo and conditioner bars. might have to hit those up again but they made my hair so greasy in korea. omg donghyun and I started being friends, jacqui was talking to some super hot Korean boy too. sad that didn’t work out for her lol. God, im so happy I went through my pictures. I forgot that February was the time that my best friend and I decided to take the biggest fucking risk of our lives and study in Korea for the summer. my mom was so fucking supportive. I will never delete those screenshots. My sister realized she was depressed and we got her some meds. woo. I made work friends and played dungeons and dragons like a fucking nerd and I love it.

March- ayyyye, I think this is where my anxiety got high as fuck about korea which was amazing lol such a fucking shitty time in my life. low-key worth it tho. I made a chicken Alfredo lasagna for my friends and it was fire. I should make that again. so many veggies and dog pics. love both of those things. I CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF WOW. I FORGOT. damn, that shit was short. Ashley finally starting coming around again. lol broke Zach’s phone and Ashley’s tooth on st. Pattys day. go team. doggo had to get heart worm shots. that shit was 1700 bucks and she had a weird patch shaved on her back lol. my grandparents got me a fucking sweet coffee pot for Christmas and I finally started using it. I need to break it out again, WE SENT OUR DEPOSIT FOR OUR APARTMENT IN KOREA OMFG I WANNA CRY I LOVE IT. started doing yoga too. another thing I need to get into again. 

April- went home for easter. wore a black bra with a yellow sweater. the beginning of disappointing my stepmom’s side of the family lol. got my luggage for korea omfg I wanna cry looking at these. it makes me so happy. lots of bts pics. still love them. just highly glad im not as obsessed anymore. god, more screenshots of my fabulous mother being loving and supportive of my every move. guess who I cant say that for? my dad lol. damn, this is the month my anxiety fucking attacked me. I couldn't sleep. I would cry for hours alone. I thought I was going to get my house broken into. I was paranoid someone was watching me. just a really shitty time. but, I had lots of things to look forward to and I didn't even know. 

may- this was my fucking month. Jesus, this is gonna be a crazy ride. omg trying to purchase BTS tickets with our whole fam for jacqui to be the only one to get one lol. and then my sweet mother again hitting up Stubhub and buying us tickets for $1,000. she cray but I was so thankful. I held a snake, nice. I quit my job and moved home for like 3 weeks prior to Korea. I. babysat. all. the. time. I had Wyatt and Navie. and I got in trouble for coming home and babysitting because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to pay attention only to him. he wanted me to not make any money before I left. nothing. the new bts album came out and its still my favorite one so far. I woke up early as fuck and listened to the whole thing with jacqui. we put headphones in and texted with every song we listened to. my god, im thankful for that bitch. decided that month that I wouldn’t stay at my old apartment and that I would move in with Jesse. saving me quite a bit of cash. went to Chicago before we left for korea for a concert and we brought the boys lol what a mistake. ex and I fought the entire time. he was such a dick to me before I left for korea and im not sure if he even sees it to this day. but I had the worst drink ever at a bar in Chi. we rode bikes along the lake. BFF attempted to get her hair done and it was all fucked up and she had to fix it. had a karaoke night with her family which was fun. had to leave my doggo, not so fun. drove the airport with my family (& at this point by family I just mean my mom, stepdad and siblings because is my dad really a parent at this point lol). BFF and I left for korea. traveled to Canada where their money smells like maple syrup lol. started taking anxiety pills finally. got to mother fucking South Korea. had to climb up six flights of stairs with 3 suitcases each lololololol. couldn’t get real food anywhere because jacqui and I were anxious motherfuckers and wouldn’t go in anywhere to order. got a Korean phone number. oh, also broke up with my boyfriend two days before I left. I didn’t break up with him but yeah. also found out he was talking to girls on snapchat a lot. thats was fun. my mental breakdowns at that time were fun. but I was kinda happy because it took a lot of pressure off me for korea and all and all it was for the best. we weren’t happy and hadn’t been for a long time.

June- OH JUNE. so many things. KOREA. Jacqui and I found our home restaurant in korea and I hope if we go back it’ll still be there. best 김치찌게 ever. met other foreign people one night out. got super fucking drunk on alcohol in hongdae somewhere that I dont even remember lol. Also, that was the night I met the first Korean dude I kissed. he was nice. English not so good. Jacqui met that josh kid. god I hope I never forget that. dude was a creeper. and the next night I broke my fucking wrist and dislocated my wrist and elbow AND snapped the elbow ligament all over a motherfucking Korean American boy. drunk Lexie is and always will be a mess hahahahaha. so had to go to the ER via Korean taxi where I almost passed out because they wouldn't let me drink water. had to cry in front of a lot of Koreans. got my arm set back into place without any anesthesia. but I found a billboard cutout of BTS on the way home lol. had to make my parents decide if I should stay in korea for surgery or come back to the states. mind you I was not even a week into being in korea hahah. this is why my dad fucking hates me im sure of it. attempted to explore a lil more. I feel bad for jacqui. she had to take care of me throughout all of this and I was fucked up on pain meds. she's a good egg that one. had surgery in korea. missed the first few days of class lol. found the fucking best popsicles ever in the hospital. made my dad pay 9,000 dollars for my surgery. found a bomb ass American restaurant. RIP I miss u. awh, omg Dasol. my bird. learned I loved cold noodles. especially in the heat of June Jesus H. tai kwon do was also lit. cute instructors bless. Jacqui’s drunk tinder date that turned into my date lol hey Daniel. got my cast off and got the brace. met meerkats and wallabies. finally had sex with someone besides my ex. 

ok ok this too much. I gotta clean now ill be back for the other six months lol 

hey katie--could you do a ranking of all of the amber benson movies you've seen, from favorite to least favorite? :)

This is an EXCELLENT question, thank you, Clem! I took it a little too seriously maybe (and i’m a little drunk and long-winded), but you asked, so I’m giving a good answer ;) 

I pulled out my handy dandy masterlist of Amber’s work and started categorizing her movies! (fun pic to clarify that i am the world’s biggest nerd)

Also please note that these are just my opinions - I am by no means a film critic or an expert on anything, I’ve just seen a lot of Amber Benson movies! 

Never seen: (if anyone has links, send em over please)Hollywood, PennsylvaniaLong Island Confidential

Not yet released: The Griddle HouseSelling IsobelThe Nightmare GalleryGlossary of Broken Dreams

Here’s where it gets fun!

Terrible:Act Your Age - this movie is not very good, and she’s hardly in it, so it gets a “terrible” ranking, yikes!

Meh all around (worst to best):The Blue Tooth Virgin - she’s in literally two minutes. i couldn’t watch the restDon’s Plum - i’ve only seen her parts! and apart from her face, i found them pretty unlikeable. :/ SFW - she’s in like ten minutes at the end. looking very adorable with round cheeks and round glasses. the rest of the movie is just okJack Reed (all three) - TV movies. She was SO YOUNG but she’s only in a couple scenes each. From what I’ve seen, they’re fine, nothing groundbreakingSimple Things - this is just bad, and she’s not really in it that much, but it could be worse. somehow. don’t ask me howKiss the Bride - again, i’ve only seen her parts, and they’re underwhelmingThe Crooked Man - so she plays a nice mom, and then she has a shotgun, and then she wears scrubs and gets murdered. she’s so pretty and tragic. but the whole movie is just…. so shitty and she’s only in 10 minutes of it. so it’s meh

Okay for plot, not for Amber:The Prime Gig - this is actually a pretty good movie! i enjoyed it. she’s really not in it much at all - definitely a background character, and she only has a few lines. but i sat through the whole movie and she looks super badass in her few appearances.Imaginary Crimes - another background character, but with many more lines this time. she’s very young and very adorable. another movie where i watched the whole thing, because it was good all around, and not just for her face! 

Okay for Amber, not for plot: Taboo - oh my god, Taboo. I rewatch this all the time because she’s extra hot in it - she plays drunk the whole time, and at one point wears a nightie and a collar - but oh my god it’s so bad. the plot is weird, the dialog is stilted, the acting is so wooden. just a terrible movie, but with one hot amberIntermedio - see above! she had a broken foot when they filmed this, and is on crutches the whole time. her hair is super long and she wears a pretty short skirt. those are the biggest selling points…. oh and she gets chopped in halfTripping Forward - ugh, i kinda hate this movie, because the leading guy makes me feel uncomfortable. i just don’t like his face or voice or personality. but amber is beautiful and cool and has streaks of blue in her hair. honestly you should skip watching this movie and just look at the beautiful gifs maria made insteadHoliday Wishes - this is hard, because it’s pretty bad, but i want to like it! it’s a christmas movie, she’s in love with a ghost, there’s some body switching, ugh. the plot just really irritates me and i find different things to complain about every time. and whoever dressed her should be fired. but she’s pretty and she’s the lead actress, so that has to count for somethingOne-Eyed Monster - never tell amber this, but i don’t like this movie…. she really likes it so it makes me feel bad to dislike it :/ it’s about these people shooting a porno in the mountains. she’s the makeup artist. ron jeremy’s dick gets possessed by an alien, and it impregnates amber and kills everyone else. it’s so weird and so not my humor…. but amber loves is and amber looks great in it, so, watch it i guess? Attack of the Gryphon - this would be ranked better if the gryphon wasn’t so flipping bad! the cgi just ruins the whole thing. well that and the evil sorcerer’s weird slutty sidekicks. i dunno. amber plays a badass, sword-fighting princess, and at one point (where she’s kissing a mediocre guy) you can see her whole back, which is lovely. she does a cute accent too. this is ranked highest in this category because she worked so hard to do the accent, ride a horse, fight with the sword, etc, but she couldn’t save this movie. Pretty decent:Latter Days - a heartwarming film about gay love! amber isn’t a huge character but she’s good.Another Harvest Moon - another heartwarming one, this time about folks in a nursing home. amber has blue hair again (what’s with her and blue hair) and it’s very sweet! The Crush - just. iconic. watch it. she’s so little and it’s just a really really good filmDust Up - a slightly weird Western horror type movie. lots of gore and drugs. she is a total badass at the end. and holds a baby! mom!amber! Desire Will Set You Free - the biggest selling point is the lesbian sex scene. i don’t super love most of the movie, probably because i’m a boring old lady who’s not involved in the berlin gay party/drug scene. but her parts are excellent and she kisses a lady!!!! and protects a beautiful trans lady! she’s so good! King of the Hill - possibly her favorite film she’s ever worked on, and one of her first. it’s really good. young Jesse Bradford is the lead character. she’s got a small part as his neighbor. she got to dance with him and kiss him! and then have a seizure on the floor. she’s very good and the film as a whole is excellent. long and slightly depressing, or maybe just bittersweet, but definitely a good one. House of Demons - this is high on the list because i literally just watched it. she’s a hippie! who time travels! and she trips on acid! she’s very pretty and angelic, and the film has a really interesting premise. definitely will watch again. The Killing Jar - oh i unabashedly love this. she’s a small-town waitress who gets held hostage at her restaurant. no spoilers but she doesn’t die, woohoo, and is a lowkey badass. add her pretty face and southern accent and it’s just great.

Amazing:Can’t Hardly Wait - ok forget the fact that she’s in it for like two seconds, i fucking love this movie, it’s so goodBye Bye Love - tiny teenage amber and eliza! ahh i love this. another heartwarming one. she has a decently big role and she’s just so cuteChance - YES. love. so much respect for amber. she wrote and produced and directed and starred and edited. and kissed james marsters. and was amazing. go watch this! it’s on youtube! she’s incredible! Lovers, Liars, and Lunatics - all of the above (minus the kissing) but better. funnier and tighter. she’s an adorable clumsy burglar. it’s excellentStrictly Sexual - ohhhhh god oh god. she’s not the most likeable character but holy fuck is she sexy. there’s just…. a lot of sex and drinking and smoking, a lot of excellent outfits, a lot of cursing, a lot of amber being to-die-for sexy and gah. plus she’s in the whole thing! as ¼ of the main cast! lots of sexy amber! Race You To the Bottom - !!!! i love this movie!!! so much!!!! she is just incredible. and it’s a good movie too! i mean again she’s not the most likeable, and neither is her love interest, but it’s okay because she’s so hot! and she’s again in the whole thing, but this time as ½ of the main cast, and therefore she gets almost ½ of the screentime and it’s so so so good7 Things To Do Before I’m 30 - MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE AMBER MOVIE. oh my god it’s just the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen. she’s so adorable through the whole thing, and she’s IN the whole thing! as the star! the lead character! the one who all the plot revolves around! !!!!! do you know how groundbreaking that is for an amber movie!!!! not to mention she looks SMOKING the whole time. i mean how many times have i reblogged the bikini scene??? watch it for that alone. you’ll start it for the bikini and then continue for the adorable love story and her character arc. oh my god just go watch this movie now

to anyone who read this whole thing… bless your heart. thank you clem for letting me yell about amber so much. i think ive spent my whole tumblr career building toward this ask. thank you thank you and i love you clem and i love you all and i love amber benson the most!!!!

(see we’ve come full circle because clem made this for me and now i’m amber hugging clem) (does that make sense)

Day Two: My Friends

They say your friends are the family you choose and my friends help shape me and challenge me all the time which I consider to be an immense blessing. Some friends I’ve known for half my life and some are new but are just as important to me. I love all my friends the same and I’d be nothing without them. 

My longest friend is probably Adrienne. We’re going on 12 or 13 years now., ’ve honestly lost count. We’ve pretty much seen each other through every fashion phase, boyfriend, hair style, family trauma or just family drama; we’ve worked together professionally, we lived together for a year in university, went to the same college and though we are wildly different people somehow our friendship just works. She is SO wise. Like, not just intelligent, which of course she is too. She is WISE. Like her moral compass always point due north and she has amazing values and intuition and just knows how to listen better than anyone I know and she gives the best advice. I think in another life she would have made an amazing therapist. If all that wasn’t enough can I just say how ridiculously beautiful she is?! I’ve never seen her look bad. Like ever. She has this natural way with fashion and can made faded black jeans and a plain black t-shirt look like a million dollars. We can talk about non sense for hours and never get tired of talking to each other and I don’t have a whole lot of friendships quite like that. We are also wildly different. She’s quieter, more introverted and a bit of a homebody. She doesn’t talk about herself personally with just anyone and when she does have a personal conversation with you, you know it’s special and that she trusts you. She is fiercely loyal and a little bit stubborn and I love her to death. She is also the first Swiftie I ever got to freak out about Taylor with. When we lived together in university, waaaay back in 2010 we would skip class so that we could get Speak Now tickets the SECOND they went on sale and would scroll through tumblr until 3am when we should have been studying for midterms. I’ve read articles that say if you’ve been friends with someone for longer than 7 years then you’ll be friends for life and I for one pray that’s true because it would be a privilege to have a friend like her by my side forever. 

Katrina is my next longest friend and probably the person whom I would call my best friend. We’ve been through some crazy ups and downs but we have a relationship where we challenge each other to be the best versions of ourselves and push each other to achieve all we can in life. I trust her with anything and she’ trusts me. She’s been through some insane shit that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and she is still able to find the positivity in life. She is a badass who doesn’t take any shit but she would do absolutely anything for her friends. She has this aura of beauty around her. It’s hard to explain, but for as long as I’ve known her she has just been a magnet for men. Men will line up for this girl and if she happens to be taken at the moment then they’ll take a number and sit and wait. She has been so hurt by love in the past but she is always ALWAYS open to it and I so admire her for that. She has taught me that when people hurt you once it’s okay to forgive them but if they continue to do it that it’s time to let them go. She’s also taught me that love is worth fighting for, even if you have to fight hard and that love comes in all forms and it’s not always convenient and the timing won’t always be right but saying yes to love is one of the best things we can do. I know I could call her at 4 in the morning crying and she would talk to me until I felt okay enough to hang up the phone. I know this because I’ve done it. And after working on a school project all night that I had to hand in at 8am the next day I got a call from her in the middle of the night and she asked me to pick her up. So I went and brought her back to my house and she slept in my bed with me and cried and I told her she could stay at my house as long as she needed. We would do that time and time again for each other no matter how many stupid fights we get into. My parents call her the third daughter they never had and my sister considers her to be like another big sister as well. She’s my soul mate and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. 

Tony and Graydon

I’m just gonna combine these two guys in one because they’re like two peas and I don’t have like a deep, meaningful friendship with them like I do with Katrina and Adrienne but I do know that these guys love all three of us and are always there for us. We’ve known each other since high school, Tony since middle school, but ironically we didn’t even become good friends until high school was over. Some of the craziest and most hilarious nights of my life have happened with these two guys and I know I can always count on them to make me smile. Our little crew wouldn’t be complete without them and no matter what life throws at them they seems to handle it with such confidence and ease. They are sensitive and strong and they listen to all our girl problems without complain and they call our exes douchebags with us when we’re upset about a break up and we play video games and eat pizza until 3 in the morning. We forget that we’re adults whenever we get together and I sincerely hope that never changes because I really think you need people in your life who keep you young at heart and these guys fit that description perfectly. They also notice when we get our hair done, even when we’ve lost weight or built muscle hustling at the gym, and they compliment us when our outfits are on fleek in a totally platonic way. Not to mention they are straight and their girlfriends are total angels who we are so grateful to have as part of our group. So much love for these guys.

My MAD LOVE SQUAD

Alright, time for some love for my Swiftie friends. We met 2 years ago on tumblr when everyone was creating squads. I put out a message asking if anyone wanted to be in a squad with me and these amazing people messaged me with an enthusiastic YES and it has been an amazing 2 years because of them. Their names are Daniela @ithinkim-finallyclean, Jess @mermaid-swiftie16, Jacky @oliviadibbleswift, Valeria @a-red-lip-classic-thing, Lisa @thatredlipclassicthingthatulike and Ashley. They live everywhere from California to Massachusetts to the United Kingdom and one lives here in Canada with me HAAYYY! Not only do we all freak the hell out whenever Taylor does ANYTHING AT ALL but we are actually really there for each other through everything life throws at us. We all recognize that life gets busy and we don’t always have time to reply to the group or give an update but if any one of us messaged the group saying “I need to talk.”, we’d all be there in a second to listen and help in any way we can. I actually got to meet Jacky in person at the 1989 Tour in Toronto on night one. It was so special and I never even thought I’d have internet friends through Taylor Swift let alone that I’d have the chance to actually meet them in person! I know Daniela and Jess have met too because they’re both in California and I’ll never forget the night when Dee when to the last Staples Centre show of the 1989 tour and she pretty much live streamed it for us. It was one of the best nights. We were so excited for her and we were so happy to feel like we got to share that with her. We are all in such different situations, have different interests, different careers, some are still in school, we have different families and different backgrounds but we have Taylor in common and that will always be enough to keep us together. 

So those are my closest friends whom I love to death and will protect with all my life. They make me who I am and not a day goes by where I don’t feel grateful to have friends like them in my life. It’s a wonderful thing to feel completely accepted by people. To know that they have seen you at your best and your absolute worst but that they still love you and are there for you no matter what. I’ll be doing a post later on about some of my other friends but they’re a different kind of friend... they’re like sisters ;) Until then!

Drug Dependency, a 911 call, and Pulmonary Embolism, oh my!

So its currently 1:40, and I have been wanting to type this out for a wee minute. Tumblr continues to be my place where I do my personal diary-like entries where I can place my personal thoughts as well as things that have happened that are big events. And let me tell you, things have been big as of late. Its been personally charged with all sorts of different emotions as life has been going on. I’ve been through a lot since the end of May, and to say I am still alive now is an understatement. I’m truly blessed, truly lucky, just..here. So, lets start with the fact that I totally admitted to my mom that I wanted to kill myself and that I was scared to go back home because of all the sharp untensils around the houe. Yeah, I was not in a stable bit of mind at all. I just had my heart ripped out of my chest the day before due to finally telling the girl I like how I feel- and she didnt feel the same. God damn. That was a stab to every pore into me. My mother didnt know what to do so we went through the pain tasking of getting into norwood. But honestly, getting my heart broken was not what triggered me to be suicidal. It was a calamity of factors all rushed together which caused it to be.

Norwood is the psych-ward of Wood County, pretty much.

After umteen hours of having to sit around in an emergency room, I was finally allowed to head over to the psych-ward. In the ER though, they were doing all sorts of fancy tests left and right. I had no idea what in the living hell was going on to be honest with you. It was like as if that day was all an entire blur.  Right before I went in, I had like three double cheeseburgers from Burgerking because I was damn well starving.

Once I got to the Psych-ward we had to go through the usuaul spcheel of papers and insurance talk. I'd glance at my mother whom was very worried about me. I could see the tears swelling up in her eyes, wondering what her boy was going to do, how to live, the racing thoughts in her eyes. I know she was going to be okay. I needed "help", big time.

Well, that help turned into a disaster. Trust me when you read more into the story why I say that. Thankfully I am here typing this out and alive for people to know what happened.

So I got admitted. Had to wear a bracelet. number 12964. Took drugs within the facility. Couldnt wear my jewelry, nor my piercings.  Ate their horrible food but also along the way meant some amazing people that I never expected. We'd play board games like apple to apples, which is like a safe version of a inappropriate group card game.  Constantly was bored to the point I poored all my thoughts into writing in a notebook. Spoke with the main psychiatrist and he was a hardass and could barely understand me as a person. Shoved a cocktail of drugs in my direction and my mother noticed right away how said pills were making me into a zombie. Boy, how true that is. Thats when the slurred speech was starting to happen and it all fell into place from there. I even told the main psychiatrist that I was having side effects but all he did was switch the times I take it. Completly idiotic. As people have told me, I was taking far too much instead of being weaned into it.

However, I do give credit where its due. The therapy side of things when I was in there was worth while, and gave me a bit of an eye opener to what I need to work on in life and then some. So kudos to the wonderful ladies in there, (especially the hella attractive blonde I'd always eye on and make her try to blush).

Well, I made it out of there alive and well. I remember the first day coming back and crying tears of joy but also concern because of the gabapentin. I also remember I believe that I got pizza hut for lunch because I didnt have pizza for like 9 days straight. You know how that can get to a man, not to be able to have pizza?! Its maddening! I went to the nut farm only to go more crazy..for pizza! I also remember my sister giving me a pink shirt when I was in there and now look, I have two hot pink shirts in my collection- hell I'm wearing it right now! Who would of thought!.  It was good to lay in bed with my own pillow- as if the world shut off and bliss took over.

Everything went back to normal somewhat. I started to go back to work regularly- only for Chris to immediatly go on his national guard dutie which was going to be for 2 weeks straight. At first, I thought it would be nothing. I've worked a month straight in the past with no problems but the other problem was tatiana going on her California trip, so there was mistakes and stuff being done and could not be fixed right away because she is the higher-up that speaks with Jesse. Tara took over her shift while she was gone for vacation, I took over  Chris and Eileen and Sheree did their thang.

Well, this is when the withdrawl and side effects began. The first week was okay! I was following suit on the pills, but they were causing issues because I was taking them as if I was a daytime person and I'm not- I'm a night time person due to my life-style and job. So what am I suppose to do! I didnt notice really anything going on except this naggingness going on with my mouth. I thought it was just my back out of wack causing the weirdness but I was wrong. I was able to throw like normal, in fact I was doing nearly a trickcircle a day. Just had a fresh new haircut happen..life was normal until...

All of a sudden, the effects started to effect me. I started to have muscle rigidity/stiffness. My mouth was constantly being dry and muscus would collect. My breathing was shallow. I could barely walk to the point I was shuffling my feet. I was profusely sweating to the point my shirts were getting drenched with sweat. I was panicky and constantly worrieing about stuff. Insomnia was striking me to the core. My decision making was flawed. My vision was getting blurry. My speech was slurrying because my left side of my face was going numb. My left arm was getting weak. The panic tremors. I'd break down to random tears over basic things that I couldnt too.

The one thing that bothered me was the pity look I'd get from guests when they saw that I was struggling hard. I'll never forget the looks I'd get from my coworkers too.

So that is what I was dealing with the past five weeks. It wasn't pretty. It wasnt fun. It was FUCKING HELL. In that time frame June 17th I did go to the emergency room because we were trying to figure out what was going on. I couldn't see my shrink until July 18th because he decided to take a mini vacation out of the blue. Neither michelle the nurse of Dr Shein nor the main dude I met at the ER could help, merely to state that I needed to wean off the gabapetin completely. There was no hope in sight at all. The Doc outright told us they do not handle with medications that involved psychiatric care. On June 19th, My mother couldn't take it anymore and went through the hospital at the information desk to file a complaint against behavior health due to their malcontent on not giving us any answers at all. To file through the customer resolution center., to which they were fairly nice on the phone when she spoke with them. Magically, all of a sudden a opening happen with Doctor Shein and I got to see him. My mother had spoke most of the time because at that point my mouth was too numb for me to be understood. He planned to go after this aggressively, where I was cut off the bentzprine and Ambilify that day. and reduced down to just 1 pill for the gabapetin. Thank god I spoke with him because I had no idea what was going on. He was convinced I had Akathisia due to the depenedency on the pills which is true.

Akathisia is when your body has a feeling of wanting to be in constant motion. This would make sense considering I could barely be able to relax and sleep, barely be able to sit still and be in a zen like quality. It was like there was an innner restlessness.

And then the last day, 17 days straight of working, on June 27th during the night I had to check in a guest after audit around 1am. Not too big of an issue except for the fact I could barely think and my only thoughts were to stay awake and keep moving. I could barly do the pillowcases let alone stand but I was striving. I checked her in and even she knew something was wrong with me. I kept repeatedly telling her I will go as fast as I can and she understood. She was really nice to me. So, a couple hours go by, and two men in a silver van show up around 2:30 asking for this specific lady. I call down the room to ask her if I could send them down and she said it as okay.

At around 3 a 911 call showed up on the console phone. So as my job I have to immediatly see what is going on and to see what I can do to help. I was already panicking because I wasn't getting my work done fast enough. There was things to be done but due to my muscles crunching up I could barely move. Well, I trenched on to the room- all the while sweating more and more, and not being able to breathe the best. By the time I got down there, they had the door open and all three were yelling at eachother accusing eachother of stuff. Well, she said she called the cops against these two so I started to walk back towards the frontdesk. Well, she started yelling at them to leave, so they agreed and started following me- well as I was walking up there I saw the cops coming in and they were looking for me so I had to run back. I have ashma so that started to kick in even more.

Once I got to the frontdesk I was sweating bullets, the cops were speaking with the lady and two men to figure out what was all going on. Pam popped in to see what the hell is going on only to see me sitting in the corner trying to regain my air which I wasn't. After awhile the cops switched to their attention to me asking if I'm okay, asking if I looked like I needed to go to the emergency room, asking if I needed an ambulence. All the while, Pam is trying to get a hold of my mother whom was out in the kitchen feeding the cat but eventually did get her after I agreed to going to the Emergency room. They had the paramedics come in and do various tests to which they all agreed to ask me to go, so they propped me on the board as I am asking "Can you guys even lift me?" to which then all of a sudden I heard a hydralic sound. So that answered that. They popped me in the ambulence all the while Pam is trying to get in touch with Tara to come in due to all that is happening. She eventually did.

From 4 something in the morning until god knowns how long I was in the emergency room. Just like before it felt like forever in an umcomfortable bed. I got poked and prodded like a human pin cushion and had my blood pressure taken a few million times. They did various tests, I had a CT Scan, X-rays in various parts of my body, even was asked to do a piss test in a container which I couldnt not do. I can never do piss tests it seems, especially while sitting down. Eventually did though when they moved me but still. My blood pressure during my time there was through the roof because I was so anxiety filled.  Anyways, we spoke with the main doctor that was on board about the muscle stiffness and everything and he outright told us Gabapetin would not be doing these kinds of side effects that he would know of. But he did suspect Amblify might, he was looking into everything he could and was a bit dumbfounded. We even suggested to do lymes disease test due to that notion.

Well, they still wanted me for tests and told me that I had to stay overnight. I was so damn tired, with the run of insomnia and the constant sweating being overly abundant. I remember at one point I made the comment "If I wanted to kill myself, this would be the moment instead of what I said to you.". Only made my mother more in agnony but it was the truth in all damn honestly. After all I have been through, I really did want to die. I was taken off my bupropion meds, and then being tapered off the Gabapetin. I tried to eat the shitty food my mother ordered for me from the cafeteria, but

That night, they told me of some of the things going on. I was barely able to comprehend though and admittly didnt remember when I spoke with the main doctor. But, I was told I had blood clots in my legs, the serious kind. And then something even more scarey- pulmonary embolism. Bloodclots in the lungs. This was some serious shit that I was in. I was put on warfarin immediatly, a blood thinner pill. I had heard of this pill because my grandma is currently on it. They spoke of the risk factors of blood clots and a plethora of other things. All I could do this sit there and take it in that my life has changed in a way I could not put into mere words.

I couldnt sleep a blink as of how umcomfortable I was. I just wanted to get up to walk, but at the same time trapped into a bed. I just laid there blinking my eyes trying to rest but sleep would not come to me. Nearly every two hours they would come in to do some form of tests whether blood pressure or stealing my blood. It was hell just sitting there being a pin cushion and bruising more and more. I think I may of got sleep but could not remember.

I did eventually get out. I had a little together with the physical theraphy side and they tested out my strengths to see if I needed it. At the time I firmly believe I needed it but they said no. I passed the various tests they gave like walking. At that point my mother was going to give me my dads old walker due to my walking. All I could do was shuffle my feet and walk short distances. They gave me various physical theraphy papers for me to do, which at the time I was serious about- I'd dot them all. and I was finally out. Took me a little while to finally get out of the emergency room, hell it took forever to even get my clothes on but I did eventually. I was also told I had two weeks off medical leave from work- which I was super worried because no one else could do the auditing. But whats a guy to do if they say you can work? I finally got to go home, what a relief! But that was only half the battle.

When I got home, it felt like relief but really that was a disguise. Because now I knew I had to do the physical therapy, I had to put the work in somehow. The next two weeks were brutal because here is me- not had that length amount of time off with the condition I was in. I couldnt yoyo, could barely sit, sweating all the time and the other issues at hand- it was hell. I was truly fearing that I could never be able to play yoyo ever again, that was a nightmare to me. My body was absorbing energy from me, because my stomach shrunk so small I could barely eat like I used to. I eat a lot, I'm a big boy and to go from eating like 4000 calories down to just 500 a day, that REALLY makes a dent in your system.. Over the course of five weeks I had lost over 50 LBS and that is truly not a joke.

My mother was my rock through it all as well as my drill sargent. She'd make me go out and do the walkin I desperately needed to wake my muscles. She helped me with my arm exercises and drilled it in to me about the water. I thank my all for her because I constantly was asking for hugs, annoying her because I couldnt sit still in my room and always panicking which she would come in to make me calm down my breathing.

Everyday I was chipping away at the meds to get out of my system, to flush out.  I even went out to see my family at Dexterville campsite for the 4th of July for a little bit and due to my walking and stature, I could only be out there a little bit. The weather was not agreeing with me and sweating so much was a hassle. We even stopped at the dexter drive in to get ice-cream, and due to my mouth being numb it was hard to eat the icecream which was getting all over my face. Certain parts of my body would get better before other spots. Everyday was the same literally- Zelda Breath The Wild was my muse- my only thing I could really do but even then games were difficult because my fingers would not work functionally.

Went to see a check up with my regular doctor- and we discussed about the fact due to my family history with bloodclots how I will probably be on Warfarin for the rest of my life. Talked about my detoxing and also had a few other questions. There was confusion about my work release that we needed to get settled so the following monday June 10th, we made a trip back to Doctor Hameime to get it settled.

When it came time to finally go back to work- most of the detoxication happened. My body was freeing itself from the clutches of the drugs. All of those things I mentioned that happened to me was finally coming off of me except for the weakness in my left arm which as of this moment of typing this, is back to normal. Since last Wednesday, I've been throwing yoyo like mad which has brought back the muscle memory. Tatiana was certainly happy to see me, as the girls were running ragged due to it just being Tara, Sheree, and Eileen. They did it, and I am so proud of them. I still feel bad for having this all happen, I wish my body would of continued and we would of never had issues, but things dont always work that way.

I've just had my first work week and on Sunday I finally got to see Tara. We were discussing all that happened with my life and such and even she noticed. She outright told me "Dan, I could tell something was wrong and I really wanted to tell you to just go back home because you are in no shape to work but I didn't". Its true, due to not being able to speak properly, my eyes being in a glaze, and not walking or moving properly- I should of got released but I'm too stubborn for that plus due to no back up relief..whats a guy to do?

Tuesday I had back to back appointments. I got to see my therapist plus I got to see my psychiatrist all rolled into one. For the therapy side one of the first things Mr Bauss said was "You're glowing today, you are a completely different person since I saw you", which is true. I was feeling pretty damn good to be honest with you, I was calm and collected and could articulate and speak my thoughts properly this time versus two weeks ago when I could barely even sit down. We spoke for an hour of the homework I recieved from him, and he would add in little things that opened up my eyes that made me feel good about myself. Seeing Dr Shein the psychiatrist was also good, because he had seen all the improvement I had versus the last I spoke with him. I had to speak with him about about what happened at work with the 911 call, and eventually that call was for me and had to go to the emergency room, being diagnosed with bloodclots in the legs and lungs and going through detox. It was tough to speak of but I was feeling damned good that it was coming out smoothly, even with the attractive student he had there. In the end, he was right. and with that said...

Sometimes, miracles really do  work in mysterious ways.

End. Until next time.

Charlotte, NC Voiceover Artist Lends Voice To New Preschool Series “Becca’s Bunch”

She tried for years to hide her voice. Then she made a career out of it. Lisa Biggs is a 36-year-old woman with an asymmetrical haircut; when she takes her shoes off, you can see the tattoos on her feet. But the voice that comes out of her mouth sounds like an 8-year-old girl: high-pitched and squeaky, with the vocal timbre of a grade-schooler asking for an extra carton of chocolate milk. Biggs spent years trying to disguise that voice, but these days it pays her rent: she makes her living as a professional voiceover artist.

Standing in bare feet in the Concentrix Music studio in the Cotswold area of Charlotte, wearing jeans and a gray V-neck sweater, Biggs is recording dialogue for the brand-new cartoon Becca’s Bunch, slated to debut on Nickelodeon USA this fall, followed by a roll out onto Nickelodeon and Nick Jr. channels internationally soon after. Biggs plays six of the seven children in a Rabbit family, plus the mom, Lola Bunny. A producer of the show is listening to her from Ireland via an Internet line, giving Biggs feedback and explaining where her dialogue fits into the plot.

Every time Biggs reads a line, she performs it three times, offering minor variations so the producers have options to choose from. “Where is that float?”: bubbly but confused. “Where is that float?”: even more enthusiastic. “Where is that float?”: slightly breathless. Then the producer asks Biggs to be “more projective,” so she does it three more times.

As she records a sustained peal of laughter that begins as giggles but builds to a crescendo of hysterical yelps, Biggs gestures with her left hand, like she’s the conductor of her own voice. Then she grins and asks her long-distance producer, “Do you need more? I’m in it to win it.”

Voiceover artist Lisa Biggshas done voices for many characters including a guest spot on the Simpsons; her newest work is voicing several bunnies for a Nickelodeon series. Photo: Diedra Laird

To play the Rabbit children, Biggs uses a minor variation on her usual high-pitched speaking voice, but for the older Lola Bunny, she shifts her timbre into something huskier. “I love this voice,” she declares between takes. “I’m going to talk like this for the rest of the day. Isn’t it soothing? I’ll come and read you some poetry later.”

So what separates a professional voice artist from a civilian who sounds mellifluous on the phone?

You may already have heard her

Biggs has been the voice of everything from fuzzy toys (many, including Hasbro’s Furreal Friends) to victims of videogame zombies (a trailer for the game The Dying Light). She’s played Charlie Brown in a Peanuts iPhone app and the Care Bear Wonderheart in American Greetings commercials. In recent years, she’s branched out to directing kids (most recently, a series of Toys R Us radio ads) and founding Voxy Ladies, a professional association for voiceover women (Biggs says she sold it last year so she could focus on her own career). She’s hoping to expand into the “radio imaging” business, where she gives radio stations their identity by recording their promo spots. Biggs says, “In the inner circle of working professional voice talent, you’ve got some guys that make five, six million dollars a year or more.” Members of that elite club include the top movie-trailer voices and the cast of The Simpsons.

Lisa Biggs is also the voice of BeatBelle, a Fisher-Price toy, and Harley, a little boy featured in promotions for the international tech company Hisense.

“And then you have people like me: I live in Charlotte, I drive a Volkswagen.”

Voice acting is like any other form of acting, Biggs told the Charlotte Observer: “There’s an ‘it’ factor. Some people are naturally good at it. I’m not saying that to dash anybody’s hopes – if you want it bad enough and yield to the training, everyone has the capacity to manufacture ‘it.’ ”

“It” didn’t seem like a blessing for Biggs when she was growing up in Lancaster, South Carolina, daughter of a fireman and a preschool teacher.

She tried to hide it

Other kids called her names – “Squeaky, Smurfette, Beaker, Minnie Mouse” – and accused her of speaking in a high-pitched voice just for attention. She stopped speaking in class: “I made OK grades, but I bet if I actually participated I would have had a better GPA,” she says. When she had to give an oral presentation in a high-school biology class, she thought she could disguise her voice by adopting a strong Southern accent – a huge mistake, since she not only didn’t fool anybody, she confirmed the suspicions of classmates who thought she was faking.

“I tried to mimic other people and the way that they talked, mostly their cadence. I had to think about tempo and volume and pitch,” Biggs remembers. She wanted to be a marine biologist, but unwittingly, she was training for a voiceover career.

When Biggs was an undergraduate at Lee University, people would occasionally tell her that she should look into voiceover work, which she resisted, thinking it as likely a career choice as becoming an astronaut. But when she saw a brochure for an acting school in New York that included a class on voice work, she enrolled for the summer session. She learned a lot, but she also found that even in acting school, her voice provoked hostility. One teacher told her: “You need to quit this little-girl-voice act before you’re 30. Nobody buys it.” Another informed her that she spoke like that because of childhood trauma and her voice had frozen at that age.

Nevertheless, after college graduation she headed to Los Angeles to try her luck at voice acting.

Then she found the ‘dude’

She got her SAG card and some tattoos – “because that’s what you do,” she jokes – and even had a supporting role on one episode of The Simpsons (playing a boy Lisa Simpson had a crush on). But she wasn’t making a living from her voice. And when she tried networking with an older voiceover actor at a convention, she says, he just leered at her and said derogatory remarks.

Biggs returned to Charlotte in 2006, planning to go to graduate school or enter a youth ministry. But her return coincided with a shift in the voiceover world: The industry had decentralized, and the Internet had made it possible to do sessions in cities other than L.A. Biggs hired a manager and gradually built up her career.

Biggs developed a range of voices, from a teenage girl to a sassy old lady. Her second-most popular voice is a little girl, but the voice she gets hired to do most often is a young boy. She started off trying to do a gravelly boy voice, like Milhouse on The Simpsons, but quickly found that it hurt her throat too much. Instead, she tapped into a character she calls “Liam”: a swaggering skateboard kid in the mode of 1990s preteen idol Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

“It starts with posture and body language,” Biggs explains. “When I’m in the booth and I’m Liam, I’m doing what I see my nephew do at his wrestling matches. He cannot stand still because he’s got all this energy. If you look at the sound waves, the boy voice is louder: I’m pushing more air out.”

The line that helps Biggs get into the headspace of Liam: “See ya later, dude.” She says that mantra and snaps into character: “Cool, game on, what do you need?” Producers know that if Biggs is slipping out of Liam mode – maybe after an audiobook session has gone on for hours and she’s exhausted – all they need to say to snap her back into it is “See ya later, dude.”

“The question of the distinct voice versus the character actor is really interesting,” says Phil LaMarr, a top-tier voice actor whose credits include Baxter Stockman in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hermes on Futurama, the title role in Samurai Jack, and a live-action cameo on Big Time Rush. “Ultimately, acting is the key, not the voice. From what I’ve seen of Lisa, she’s got that ability to modulate—you hear that distinction between her boy voice and her girl voice, even though it’s her. To me, that’s talent.”

This is the cast of characters from “Badanamu,” a show Biggs cast, voice-directs and stars in. (She’s the voice of both Jess and Curly – the pink and purple guys on the right – as well as all three of The Three Kittens, and “a slew of additional characters.”) It’s scheduled to air in France, Spain, Australia and China, she says.

Biggs had a pleasant surprise at the Concentrix Music studio: The Becca’s Bunch producers wanted Lola Bunny to rap a song. “This is the closest I’ll ever come to being a pop star,” she squealed. “I’ll just savor the moment.” Told that the track sounded like J.J. Fad’s Supersonic, Biggs rapped the 1988 single from memory.

Before she laid down her vocals, Biggs said she needed to take care of one thing: To get in the right frame of mind, she needed a cool rapper name. Her producer suggested “Biggie Smalls,” but she rejected that handle as property of the Notorious B.I.G. Then her face lit up and she shouted out two words that summed up her career: “Squeaky Tones!”

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Charlotte, NC Voiceover Artist Lends Voice To New Preschool Series “Becca’s Bunch”

She tried for years to hide her voice. Then she made a career out of it. Lisa Biggs is a 36-year-old woman with an asymmetrical haircut; when she takes her shoes off, you can see the tattoos on her feet. But the voice that comes out of her mouth sounds like an 8-year-old girl: high-pitched and squeaky, with the vocal timbre of a grade-schooler asking for an extra carton of chocolate milk. Biggs spent years trying to disguise that voice, but these days it pays her rent: she makes her living as a professional voiceover artist.

Standing in bare feet in the Concentrix Music studio in the Cotswold area of Charlotte, wearing jeans and a gray V-neck sweater, Biggs is recording dialogue for the brand-new cartoon Becca’s Bunch, slated to debut on Nickelodeon USA this fall, followed by a roll out onto Nickelodeon and Nick Jr. channels internationally soon after. Biggs plays six of the seven children in a Rabbit family, plus the mom, Lola Bunny. A producer of the show is listening to her from Ireland via an Internet line, giving Biggs feedback and explaining where her dialogue fits into the plot.

Every time Biggs reads a line, she performs it three times, offering minor variations so the producers have options to choose from. “Where is that float?”: bubbly but confused. “Where is that float?”: even more enthusiastic. “Where is that float?”: slightly breathless. Then the producer asks Biggs to be “more projective,” so she does it three more times.

As she records a sustained peal of laughter that begins as giggles but builds to a crescendo of hysterical yelps, Biggs gestures with her left hand, like she’s the conductor of her own voice. Then she grins and asks her long-distance producer, “Do you need more? I’m in it to win it.”

Voiceover artist Lisa Biggshas done voices for many characters including a guest spot on the Simpsons; her newest work is voicing several bunnies for a Nickelodeon series. Photo: Diedra Laird

To play the Rabbit children, Biggs uses a minor variation on her usual high-pitched speaking voice, but for the older Lola Bunny, she shifts her timbre into something huskier. “I love this voice,” she declares between takes. “I’m going to talk like this for the rest of the day. Isn’t it soothing? I’ll come and read you some poetry later.”

So what separates a professional voice artist from a civilian who sounds mellifluous on the phone?

You may already have heard her

Biggs has been the voice of everything from fuzzy toys (many, including Hasbro’s Furreal Friends) to victims of videogame zombies (a trailer for the game The Dying Light). She’s played Charlie Brown in a Peanuts iPhone app and the Care Bear Wonderheart in American Greetings commercials. In recent years, she’s branched out to directing kids (most recently, a series of Toys R Us radio ads) and founding Voxy Ladies, a professional association for voiceover women (Biggs says she sold it last year so she could focus on her own career). She’s hoping to expand into the “radio imaging” business, where she gives radio stations their identity by recording their promo spots. Biggs says, “In the inner circle of working professional voice talent, you’ve got some guys that make five, six million dollars a year or more.” Members of that elite club include the top movie-trailer voices and the cast of The Simpsons.

Lisa Biggs is also the voice of BeatBelle, a Fisher-Price toy, and Harley, a little boy featured in promotions for the international tech company Hisense.

“And then you have people like me: I live in Charlotte, I drive a Volkswagen.”

Voice acting is like any other form of acting, Biggs told the Charlotte Observer: “There’s an ‘it’ factor. Some people are naturally good at it. I’m not saying that to dash anybody’s hopes – if you want it bad enough and yield to the training, everyone has the capacity to manufacture ‘it.’ ”

“It” didn’t seem like a blessing for Biggs when she was growing up in Lancaster, South Carolina, daughter of a fireman and a preschool teacher.

She tried to hide it

Other kids called her names – “Squeaky, Smurfette, Beaker, Minnie Mouse” – and accused her of speaking in a high-pitched voice just for attention. She stopped speaking in class: “I made OK grades, but I bet if I actually participated I would have had a better GPA,” she says. When she had to give an oral presentation in a high-school biology class, she thought she could disguise her voice by adopting a strong Southern accent – a huge mistake, since she not only didn’t fool anybody, she confirmed the suspicions of classmates who thought she was faking.

“I tried to mimic other people and the way that they talked, mostly their cadence. I had to think about tempo and volume and pitch,” Biggs remembers. She wanted to be a marine biologist, but unwittingly, she was training for a voiceover career.

When Biggs was an undergraduate at Lee University, people would occasionally tell her that she should look into voiceover work, which she resisted, thinking it as likely a career choice as becoming an astronaut. But when she saw a brochure for an acting school in New York that included a class on voice work, she enrolled for the summer session. She learned a lot, but she also found that even in acting school, her voice provoked hostility. One teacher told her: “You need to quit this little-girl-voice act before you’re 30. Nobody buys it.” Another informed her that she spoke like that because of childhood trauma and her voice had frozen at that age.

Nevertheless, after college graduation she headed to Los Angeles to try her luck at voice acting.

Then she found the ‘dude’

She got her SAG card and some tattoos – “because that’s what you do,” she jokes – and even had a supporting role on one episode of The Simpsons (playing a boy Lisa Simpson had a crush on). But she wasn’t making a living from her voice. And when she tried networking with an older voiceover actor at a convention, she says, he just leered at her and said derogatory remarks.

Biggs returned to Charlotte in 2006, planning to go to graduate school or enter a youth ministry. But her return coincided with a shift in the voiceover world: The industry had decentralized, and the Internet had made it possible to do sessions in cities other than L.A. Biggs hired a manager and gradually built up her career.

Biggs developed a range of voices, from a teenage girl to a sassy old lady. Her second-most popular voice is a little girl, but the voice she gets hired to do most often is a young boy. She started off trying to do a gravelly boy voice, like Milhouse on The Simpsons, but quickly found that it hurt her throat too much. Instead, she tapped into a character she calls “Liam”: a swaggering skateboard kid in the mode of 1990s preteen idol Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

“It starts with posture and body language,” Biggs explains. “When I’m in the booth and I’m Liam, I’m doing what I see my nephew do at his wrestling matches. He cannot stand still because he’s got all this energy. If you look at the sound waves, the boy voice is louder: I’m pushing more air out.”

The line that helps Biggs get into the headspace of Liam: “See ya later, dude.” She says that mantra and snaps into character: “Cool, game on, what do you need?” Producers know that if Biggs is slipping out of Liam mode – maybe after an audiobook session has gone on for hours and she’s exhausted – all they need to say to snap her back into it is “See ya later, dude.”

“The question of the distinct voice versus the character actor is really interesting,” says Phil LaMarr, a top-tier voice actor whose credits include Baxter Stockman in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hermes on Futurama, the title role in Samurai Jack, and a live-action cameo on Big Time Rush. “Ultimately, acting is the key, not the voice. From what I’ve seen of Lisa, she’s got that ability to modulate—you hear that distinction between her boy voice and her girl voice, even though it’s her. To me, that’s talent.”

This is the cast of characters from “Badanamu,” a show Biggs cast, voice-directs and stars in. (She’s the voice of both Jess and Curly – the pink and purple guys on the right – as well as all three of The Three Kittens, and “a slew of additional characters.”) It’s scheduled to air in France, Spain, Australia and China, she says.

Biggs had a pleasant surprise at the Concentrix Music studio: The Becca’s Bunch producers wanted Lola Bunny to rap a song. “This is the closest I’ll ever come to being a pop star,” she squealed. “I’ll just savor the moment.” Told that the track sounded like J.J. Fad’s Supersonic, Biggs rapped the 1988 single from memory.

Before she laid down her vocals, Biggs said she needed to take care of one thing: To get in the right frame of mind, she needed a cool rapper name. Her producer suggested “Biggie Smalls,” but she rejected that handle as property of the Notorious B.I.G. Then her face lit up and she shouted out two words that summed up her career: “Squeaky Tones!”

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