thinking white & gold thoughts (as per usual). thinking about surprising matty while he’s traveling for work by waiting in his hotel room and the rest of the thoughts are not innocent and i’m afraid will have me put down😀😀😀😀😀

FIRST OF ALL any and all horny thoughts are welcome here!!!! but i Suppose i will bear the burden of finishing the thought for you…

you were expecting getting into his room to be a mission, armed with a stack of cash to slide a concierge’s way, but the girl at the front desk just giggled and waved you up with a conspiratorial grin. which, mildly concerning, but not your problem. you let yourself into his suite and sprawl on the bed in your underwear, a pastel-pink number that you know he loves, your sheer, lacy stockings clipped to a garter.

you start getting bored waiting for him and snap some photos of yourself, careful to crop out anything that might give you away before you send them to him. thinking about you, you add to the last picture, your hand in your panties, your fingers buried deep in your cunt. matty’s groan is practically audible through his reply, had to cut dinner short because of you, brat. better make it worth it.

you shudder excitedly hearing him unlock the suite door, but he only wanders onto the couch before your phone starts ringing. “hi,” you giggle breathlessly, heart thudding. whether from being found or getting away with it for a while, you’re not sure. “everything ok?”

matty growls. “you fucking know what you did. my slutty girl can’t keep her hands off, can you, darling?”

“maybe i just wanted you to come see me quicker.”

“soon, princess, i promise. just a few more days.” you can practically hear the pout in his voice.

smirking to yourself, you fan your hair out on the pillow and arrange your face into the picture of innocence. “maybe sooner than you think. on the couch, daddy?” you can’t resist teasing. “so dirty.”

matty gets to his feet so fast he’s probably lightheaded, hanging up the phone and striding into the bedroom, his jaw going slack at the sight of you. “oh, my god,” he says, laughing in disbelief. “you’re here.”

you arch your back and slide a provocative hand down your body, playing with your waistband. “couldn’t wait any longer to see you. s’not the same, i’m going crazy.” you dip your fingers into your panties and toy with your clit. “please help me, daddy,” you pout up at him.

he’s on you in seconds, attacking your lips with breathless savagery, the familiar taste of him finally soothing the dull ache of loneliness. tearing out of his clothes as fast as possible, he doesn’t even take your panties off, just pulls them to the side and slides home. “god, missed you so much, princess,” he murmurs into your neck, your cunt fluttering around him. “missed filling up this needy little pussy.” he kisses over your heart. “missed my sweet girl.”

you thread a hand into his curls, moaning as his teeth graze your skin. “missed you too. so much. missed this, missed being your little slut, taking my daddy’s cock like a good girl,” the filth pours freely from your mouth, too long pent up to fall victim to your brain-to-mouth filter.

“it’s okay, princess. daddy’s got you, now. i’m gonna take care of you.”

Ik this isnt part of the ask game, but would you consider showing us how you outline in Trello?? It looks so freaking effective!

I have been waiting for someone to ask me this question. thank you so so so so much you’re going to regret asking lmao

so as I said before I use Trello - a free cloud based project management tool - to outline and write my fics (and also for my to do list and my Christmas present shopping and vacation planning and literally everything) because, to be 100% honest with you, I have no chill. I have never been relaxed about anything. ever. not a single day in my life. and therefore I marinate on fic ideas in my mind for months (sometimes years!) before I start doing anything with them. this is my process I use for everything I write and we’re using Mar[r]y Me as my example!

the first thing is the idea. I get an idea and I word vomit vibes into the closest thing (notes app, google doc, scribbling into my work notebook, texting a friend) and then I marinate on the idea. I first had the idea for Mar[r]y Me on January 25, 2023. it went through several iterations as I shaped what it was going to be and below is what I sent to Jordan in June 2023 and it’s the basis for the story we’ve all been following. (or mostly, it’s changed quite a bit since then.)

once I’m ready to start writing I create a board in Trello. think of a board like a white board, you then add “cards” which I think of as sticky notes except with a lot more features. also my process is the same no matter if it’s a one shot or a multi chapter fic, it just depends if it gets its own board or it goes into my one shot board. (which is filled with ideas waiting to be written lol) anyway. this is the Mar[r]y Me board!

for a multi chapter fic like this each chapter gets a card in the IN PROGRESS list (they move to the right as things get written/posted). each card follows a template: title, due date (loosely assigned to get an idea of what a posting schedule may look like), a label (always being with need to plan), and a checklist. also the chapter outline - obviously.

before I get into the outline, I use the labels as a nice visual representation of what the status of everything is. as the screenshot below shows, the each writing stage has its own color (and I use the color blind color schemes so I get the fun patterns too!) and it gets changed as we go along. it helps me know at a quick glance where everything is at the moment.

I also love the checklist feature, see below. which basically has all the steps I need to follow once I have a chapter written and ready for final editing. it may seem like overkill but I work long hours and you’d be amazed at how easily my brain forgets things lmao. so this ensures nothing is missed when I’m getting ready to post.

now onto the outline. my outline goes from something super basic, to a few bullet points, to an in depth summary of what’s going to be written. using chapter one as an example of this progression.

1. this is the og outline for the whole story. just a dream and a vibe and one sentence. literally.

2. the expanded outline for chapter one

3. just a small section of the final outline I used to write the chapter. a lot of my final outline ends up being actual sentences that I use in the final draft, I basically write the chapter in bullet points and unfinished sentences.

4. I use the very expanded outline to write the actual chapter. following along bullet point by bullet point. an example from chapter 9 since that’s what I’m writing rn.

5. once everything is written, all the bullet points have been used up or ignored, I transfer it into google docs and read it to myself, editing as I go. once I’m happy with my final rough draft I use grammarly to idiot check things because I’m an engineer not an English major. then I start using the checklist (teaser posting, creating tumblr post, etc.) and then the worst part. I walk around my home office and I read the entire chapter out loud to myself and make final edits as I go. is it excruciating to have to listen to myself speak the flirting I’ve just written out loud? yes. have I made myself cry multiple times? yes. do I find a lot of rough spots and smooth them out? yes. that’s usually done on Thursday nights.

6. from there it’s all final editing and formatting and scheduling the final post. I also have to create the accompanying recipe post for Mar[r]y Me so I do that too. and we post on Fridays! sometimes I share the google doc link with friends so they get an advanced copy of the chapter and sometimes they get to be surprised with everyone else (I’m running behind schedule and don’t have time to share it lmao)

it’s a lot of work for something I’m producing for free but I genuinely love it so much and it helps me keep everything straight. there would be so many lost ideas and abandoned thoughts if I didn’t do it this way. it’s crazy that this the first fic I’ve ever written and that I’ll probably be close to 90k words by the time it’s finished.

if you’ve made it this far thank you for indulging my very intense brain and it’s processes. I love the community we’ve created here on this blog and I’m so excited to keep writing and sharing. and I especially want to give a big thank you to my very good friends Ames, Alexa, and Jordan. Mar[r]y Me would not be the story it is without them and I can’t thank you enough for your love and encouragement during this story.

Wow, that was such a sweet ending. I can't believe we're here now. and guess what YOU DID IT! you finished a whole series so huge congratulations! That's not an easy feat. I'm proud of you!

Tony being dramatic with Pocket moving out as if she is going to move to another country only to find out it's just a couple blocks away? Hilarious. Also the umbilical cord line was so so funny. I'm glad for this fresh start though! Pocket absolutely needs it.

And here's me thinking "Where the hell is, Bucky?" and well there he is! So happy to see them be in such a better place now and I'm glad they were able to go to couples counseling and truly got to work on themselves. It might be rare but it's not impossible for couples to work out even after similar events that Bucky and Pocket have fone through. And well, they've grown a bond so strong with what they went through and I truly believe they're going to be better and healthier than before. I know there's going to be more of these two but for now, I will miss the shenanigans they'll get up to. Especially now that they've got their own place to christen hahaha those poor neighbors, doesn't matter if they're a whole floor down. They're going to hear it no matter what.

What a journey this has been. As I said, I've got all my reports compiled into one document. Would you believe me if I said I've written a total of 19k words from all these essays I've sent you? Insane, I tell you. I absolutely don't regret it one single bit. I enjoyed this ride so much, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'll try and keep up with the future installments, sequels, and your other series (which has peaked my interest ngl) But with school and work, I'll try my best. I'll for sure pop in here whenever i can though. Until then, I'll see you around! Lots of Love!

— Jnon 🤍

WE did it, Jnon! All of us, together!

Although, if people ask what my Greatest Life Accomplishment is, I'm gonna say "oh, that book I wrote." I will *not* say it was Bucky Barnes fanfic smut; just a book, lol. Actually, lemme go check that off my Bucket List rn...

(Actual photo of my Bucket List. Please ignore the fact I used Papyrus. It was 2014, and yes, I was still old enough to know better.)

I loved the idea of Tony acting like Pocket moving out was the biggest affront to him that could be made. In the original draft, Bucky and Pocket were going to be going at it on the balcony like the touch-starved rabbits they were, and then Tony was going to fly over in his Iron Man suit, but I ended up not wanting to write the awkward, lol. Maybe I'll save it for a smutshot someday, lol.

So, I wrote the epilogue a long, long time ago. Like, way before I wrote the actual ending, or even up to... like Chapter 10, I think? I confess to deliberately playing with it so you didn't know if she and Bucky had gotten back together or not, because at the time, I didn't know myself. I wasn't sure if the ending was going to be truly happy, or just hopeful for them. I had a *brief* (and I mean very, very brief) moment where I had her coming home to Steve, but that died very quickly, because Ew, Steve. I mean, seriously. I think the only reason I thought of it was that it would make people's jaws drop, lol.

Yes, their neighbors are going to hate them, lol. Most definitely. Well, at least until the middle-aged woman who lives downstairs comes up to yell at them to keep it down, but Bucky answers the door in a two-sizes too small tank top and smiles his Bucky smile at her and then she gets it, lol, and did I just come up with another idea for a smutshot? ::sigh:: TO THE GOOGLE DOC! I think I'm up to 13 now? I definitely will do my best to keep you fed with the shenanigans.

I cannot believe you've written 19k words! I have loved reading each and every single one! Focus on school, and don't worry about keeping up with what's going on over here-- it'll be here waiting for you for whenever you have the time. It's been an honor, my friend. A true honor.

Old Voltron YouTuber AU Thingy

I’m purging old WIPs that never went anywhere rn. This one is old, like 2017-2018 I would guess. I ported it over from my phone notes to Google Docs in like 2019. 

Anyway, this one was not bad so I wasn’t fully sure if I should delete it so I thought I'd just dump it here. I couldn't bring myself to finish this/write more for it. VLD is an IP that the fandom ruined for me. :(

It’s not like anyone will read it and if someone does, if you want to use the AU for smth; go ahead. Just credit me somewhere and send me a link! 

(There’s also some fandom lore and in-jokes in here that reminds me of the old days. I miss those days in the VLD fandom when it wasn’t a toxic cesspool,,,) 

Youtuber AU So, I see youtube AUs of Voltron on Tumblr quite a lot. And I wanted to make a youtube AU fic for a while now, but never got around to doing it. Therefore I'm just going for it now, also I'm basing this on this post. http://lipsticklounge.tumblr.com/post/156847673083/youtube-au-where-keith-has-an-insanely-popular#notes And part of a different post I don’t think I can find which has Pidge guest star in Keith's videos and what Pidge does. But first here are my ideas for the youtube thing. I want to write them down first and then make a chapter. So this is basically this is an infor thing. Alright, here we go. -Shiro has a channel called SpaceDad (originally just Shiro, but he changed it after his viewers dubbed him Space Dad since he made quite a few space-inspired makeup tutorials and he loves talking about space) He mainly does fittest videos and make-up tutorials. And generally about health (mental health too). His channel got more popular as he started to post story time videos as well. He has some interesting stories to tell considering... -Keith's channel is called CryptidHunting. -Lance is a vlogging channel and his username is Sir Lancelot. However he calls himself Lancey-Lance. He has the most subscribers out of everyone. (This is referring to the fact Lance is the most popular character in the fandom.) -Katie has a tech channel where she reviews programs and technology. She also does tech support for her viewers so her fans are loyal. Her channel is called Pidge Gunderson. Because you know...why not put a fake name as her username? Her fans call her Pidge as they don't know her real name. And she had told them before that Pidge Gunderson is not her real name. There was this point in time where there was confusion on what pronouns Pidge went by. ((This is a parallel on what happened in the fandom.)) At first it was mostly he or them bc everyone in her vids used 'he' pronouns. But after she made a vid with her saying she's a girl everybody in her vid just used her name. (Pidge.) So her fans started using more they/them/it and some started to use she. Recently her friends have been using she pronouns for her and as such her viewers shifted accordingly. -Keith does theory videos and talks about conspiracies. Katie is a guest star in quite a few of them. This boy loves mothman. His fans have this inside joke to draw art of him and mothman. (You know, because this fandom loves Keith x Mothman and that fact was just too funny not to put into this fanfiction.) And at first he was really confused, but eventually he owned it and made jokes about it a lot. Hell, one video was even him pretending to be dating Mothman. It got 134k views within a month and that actually scared him. (Of course, Lance was the one who was in the Mothman costume. He was paid in garlic knots.) -Hunk has a cooking channel and does techy videos. He also has a bunch of shit-posting videos with Lance. He likes making parodies and funny videos with him as well. And they will post one part of the video on his channel, the other on Lance's. So, collabs basically. -You bet your ass Lance had a bunch of makeup and skin-care videos. He probably has quite a few videos where sponsors send him products for whatever and he gives people his honest opinion. Sewing tutorials. Lance has sewing tutorials and you can't tell me otherwise, he's going to be knitting as well. -Keith has a Calico cat named Red. Lance has a Russian Blue named Blue. Hunk has a All of the cats are female. Sorry, we've been led to believe that for such a long time, I can't look at them otherwise. It makes me uncomfortable for some reason??? So yeah, all girls in here. -Allura's dad and his friends (the other OG paladin besides Zarkon) owned the cats, they all died in something I guess. So...Allura gave them away to the gang??? Her mice are still her pet mice. -The two alien caterpillars Pidge kept are...well...I don't know yet...but the family dog is still in this fic as well... Wow, that means Pidge has like...4 pets in total. -Allura has her channel and so does Coran (albeit he doesn't post very often). But we'll get to that in the story. ----I'm basing off who has more subscribers based on how popular they are in the fandom, so... Lance Shiro Keith - Allura (she almost has as much as he does, she just has a little less) Pidge Hunk Coran (don't worry Coran, you're still my favorite character) Allura and Lance are together in this fic. I've been shipping it since season 2 (very low-key shipped in back in season 1, but my love didn't really grow for it until around season 3) and I've never written a fic with that ship yet so...yeah. (However, earlier I did plan to write a bunch of Voltron dabble ship-fics and Allurance is one of them, but I haven't gotten around to writing that one yet.) And yeah. Alright bye, see you guys in chapter 1. ((Before we get in, may I just say that I literally wrote the entire beginning and more of this chapter. I didn't like it. I hated it, it was too choppy, too stiff in my opinion. I hated it and felt I made Shiro and Keith too out of character. As such I deleted all of it but the video title and stats. And rewrote it in Lance's POV at a different place, time, setting. I basically just scrapped the whole thing and redid it. I'm much happier with this version. :) )) SpaceDad posted a new video! Boyfriend Does My Makeup! Posted 49 minutes ago Views 14k Like 2.6k Dislike 223 Comment 789 'HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING THE CONSPIRACY THEORY GUY WTF' Lance couldn't help but chuckle at the all caps comment. It was funny. He liked funny. Who didn't? He would say Keith, but he knew for a fact that guy actually had a sense of humor. It just was usually buried, but he knew he had it. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked him to dress up as mothman in one of his videos. Keith has some weirdass inside jokes with his fans. Anyway that wasn't the point. The point is, is that Shiro's newest video was well...shocking to a lot of his viewers. That man had the funniest freak out comments under his video right now. Of course, Lance had to scroll through quite a few homophobic comments and gay-slurs, but it was generally funny. People just didn't see this one coming. Then again they never announced they were dating to the world. People just knew they were friends, they co-represented each other last year. And now people knew they were a couple. Finally. Lance was getting real tempted to say something to his viewers. "What are you looking at?" Hunk's unmistakable voice cut through the lanky boy's thoughts. Oh. He hasn't said anything to his friends yet, hasn't he? A smile fell in place in lieu of an answer as he turned off his phone and set it down on the table. He picked up his latte and took a sip. Cold. Just how he liked it. "Nothing much. Just reading through Shiro's comment section of his latest video." His ocean blue eyes wandered over to the Japanese man himself. Shiro gave him a nonchalant look back, a flavor water bottle in one hand, and the other arm around Keith. "Oh, do you mean the one with Keith doing his makeup?" Hunk's eyes widened and he turned towards Keith. "No offense dude, but like, I cried. You have no idea what you're doing." Keith raised an eyebrow at Hunk's comment. "What, and you would have?" He kept his arms crossed, not bothering to touch his tea. Shiro laughs at something Allura said, but Keith's not really paying attention to him right now. Hunk rolls his eyes and jerks a thumb in Lance's direction. "Keith, I'm best friends with this guy. Do you need any more prompting?" There's a 'hey!' coming from Lance. It is ignored as the two boys carry on their conversation. Keith shrugs off Shiro's arm to lean closer to Hunk. Shiro just readjust himself and sets down his bottle, folding his hands and placing them on top of the table. "No, fair point." Keith grunts. "But, why the hell would I know anything about that? I don't even put on my own eyeliner. Shiro does it for me. I don't really care for it." His face scrunched up in thought. "I mean, it looks nice but..." Keith gets back a hum from Hunk. He does get where Keith is coming from, but that doesn't excuse him. Allura, Lance, and Shiro are all kinda like beauty gurus. In their own ways, that is. Allura would probably be the closest fit to the internet's definition of a beauty guru. Regardless, he should still have a shred of knowledge about makeup. Then again, why is he judging him on this? It's kinda frivolous. "Alright." He settled the conversation. Lance turned to look at the youngest person on the table, Pidge. Or Katie as her real name is. However that was information only they should know, her fans only knew her as Pidge. Though they were aware that that wasn't her real name. 

At the moment she was sleeping, using her arms and Lance's jacket as a pillow. Her already finished cup of coffee rested in its finally resting place. The trash. 

She's been asleep for a while, tired as always, because that's how she is. Over time both Shiro and Keith draped their jackets on her as blankets, and just to add to the contributes of clothing on her, Allura added her scarf as another pillow. Nobody bothered to wake her up. LetPidgeSleep was a hashtag going around with her viewers, so they might as well follow along with the trend. Also he was pretty sure if they were to disturb her, she would kill them. "Honestly, have you guys checked the comment section of that video yet? They're shook." Lance grins at his friends, and finally Allura and Shiro pay attention to his part of the table. In fact, he has the attention of everybody at the table. Except Pidge, she's still sleeping. Pretty good tho, 4 out of 5. "I can't believe this is how you two revealed your relationship to the world. That was anticlimactic." "What do you mean 'aniticmaxic'?"  Keith seemed to glare at him from his seat, his posture was sloppy. His glare had no true malice towards him, just irritation. "What I mean is that, guys could of been more, I don't know." Lance gestures with his hands across one end to the other. "Been more flashy with the way you did it, especially considering the fact that you guys kept this information from them for soooooo freaking long." Shiro leans back more into his seat, crossing his arms comfortably. He had this grin on his face people tend to have before they say dumb shit. "That's the point. We talked about how we wanted to tell the world about our relationship." He uses a hand to gesture to signal back and front between him and Keith. "We settled for a nonchalant approach and 'my-whatever-does my makeup' videos are trending now. So we thought, why not do that?" 

Lance rolled the reason around in his head for a bit. Yeah, he a point. Being nonchalant about it would look much more humble rather than other ways. But it could've been done via an introduction video. “Nah,” he concluded, “can't say that I agree with you-” Keith groaned, “but I can see where ya coming from.” 

“That's fine.” He shrugged, checked the time, and tapped () shoulder to ask her/him to wake up Katie. 

I just edited little mistakes, the last sentence was the messiest. Seemed like Keith was gonna tell everyone it was time to leave and have someone else to wake up Pidge. But past me didn’t decide who that was gonna be, clearly. Lol

Idk why, but that makes me laugh for some reason. 

hi miss cat!!! i was wondering if you had any advice on asking mutuals to beta-read + making friendships here on tumblr? you and your mutuals always seem so close and like irl friends! i'm so sorry if this sounds out of the blue!

hi, honey bee!!! 💛 for asking mutuals to beta read, I just asked them shdjdjd I was like “hey do you wanna read my fic draft” and they were like “hell yeah” so then I just added them to my google doc! tk god (hyoseobie / eggyukhei) actually offered to read my drafts when I was having trouble and she gave me suggestions and whatnot, so she’s my go to for beta reading :’) I will throw every single ridiculous fic idea at her and she responds with 100% energy every time. the dumbing down of love and sweeter than honey wouldn’t have been completed without her !!!! for pussy blocked and august, I believe steph (aqiaquas), ti (m88n), lana (choerrypuffs), moon (wincore), and tk all had access to them. Except !!!! when I was debating on the ending for pussy blocked (aka jeno or jaemin), none of them knew who was endgame, except for moon 💓 she’s an absolute godsend and I heavily discussed everything with her for both august and pussy blocked, especially the ending 💕 so big shout out to her for really helping me out with both of them 🌸🌸

I made friends by either a) gushing about their writing in their ask box or dm’s because have you seen how talented they all are???? or b) they sent me a message! 🥰 I can go more into detail about my closest mutuals below:

tk god (hyoseobie / eggyukhei) — tk was my very first mutual on here and a big reason as to why I even started this blog :’) I found her nct blurbs and fell in love with them and I was like “I wanna write blurbs too!!” so I made this blog and then I sent her an ask and we just kept talking after that 💘 and we got close, and we were supposed to see nct together last june 🤧 nowadays, I just spam her with a lot of meme posts on insta and guilt trip her for dropping yukhei for jaemin and doyoung 😔 I’m sorry for clowning you so much tk

els (taeyongtime) — els is so freaking talented, and I read her tabula rasa fic way back in 2017 when I wasn’t even a fan of nct and didn’t know who each member was. All I knew was that this was the greatest fic I have ever read, and nothing will ever top it. anyway, someone asked me for fic recs, and I had tagged her in it because of course, I would recommend her superior fic 🤩 and then she reached out to me, and now we like to complain about work together lol and text everyday and I send her phyllis pictures and we even mail each other letters !! 💕 also !!!! She’s the closest to my age out of my close friends here, so I feel like it’s super easy to talk to her 💞

lana (choerrypuffs) — she reblogged my neptune’s atlantis fic, and I responded to her reblog and also her blog looked super aesthetic so I clicked on it and then read her fics and was like “wow god tier writing I need to send in some asks to scream about these fics because the TALENT 💓💓” and we talked but we didn’t get close until like a week later when I found this pjo meme and didn’t know who else liked pjo except for her so I randomly dm’ed it to her with some all caps screaming message LOL and now we enjoy shit talking about anything and everything because it’s a safe judge free zone for our unpopular opinions lmaooo and she bullies me for typing all my fics on my phone but it’s ok because at least I’m honest about my bias and I don’t burn toaster strudels in the oven

steph (aqiaquas) — I needed some jeno pictures to make his banner for my not clickbait series and posted a cry for help about it, and she responded !!! I believe she also left a comment earlier regarding my wips about bff renjun faking an aussie accent, but we didn’t talk to each other as much until the jeno pic thing! I dm’ed her for the help and we just continued to talk after that 💕 so thank you jeno I suppose lmaoo and we’re also pen pals now 🥰 big props to her for always giving the nicest advice and for always listening to me 🥺 i talk to her about work issues a lot and we text daily !! I tell her and ti more stuff about me than I do with any of my friends tbh 🤧 I also did a facetime with her and ti a few weeks ago and we got her to stay up past her early bedtime cndjjdjdjdjd she, ti, and i have a gc which she has named “JENO APPRECIATION SOCIETY” LMAO

ti (t-shrt / m88n) — ti left me the kindest words and most detailed asks regarding my fics, and I still cherish them so so much 🥺💗💗 from there, she sent me more asks and I started talking to her more until we began to dm each other! and my god, she just gets me 100% and I can talk to her about anything like even the scariest most personal stuff I don’t tell anyone else about myself, I feel comfy enough to tell her about it, and I hope she feels the same! We text each other everyday and are also pen pals, and I want to visit her and steph one day!!! 💖 honestly I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who has related to me so much before, and you know what? ti, if you’re reading this, I think this is the easy we were talking about before

moon (wincore) — can you believe that we’ve only been friends for 40 days??? I just checked and I am flabbergasted because it feels like so much longer than that. An anon messaged moon a cute ask about how she and I are both yunqis and write fics, and she had tagged me in it! So I sent her an ask, and we were also in the same almost collab, so I dm’ed her afterwards, and we started talking and now she sends me pictures of her doggos and I send pictures of phyllis and I can talk about anything with her and we like to bounce fic ideas off of each other (read: one of us tells the other about a wip and the other person screams and sends a bunch of capslock messages about it) jejdjdjd her only flaw is that she barks at her dogs and doesn’t see this as furry behavior 😔 also we have the same taste in men LOL legends only and I hope she’s having lots of fun in the club listening to t swift rn !!!!

april (dropofgoldensun) — april ilysm okay so she always left the loveliest comments under my fics, and one day, I had this fic idea and was like “I want someone else’s opinion on this” but I wanted a fresh perspective on it, so I decided to dm her out of the blue and ask what she thought of it! And from there, we began to talk more and we also sent each other letters !!! in fact, I got hers last week and it made me 🥺🥺🥺💗💗 I have it pinned up to the corkboard in my room along with drawings by steph 💘

so all in all, I made friends by regularly sending them asks or shooting them a dm, or they sent me asks and continued to have a conversation with me 🥰 as an extrovert, I always love making new friends and never shy away from meeting new people, but I understand that it can be scary for some to reach out and take the first step 🤧 but if you do decide to, you might meet the most wonderful people 💞 I honestly can’t imagine what my life would be like without the friends I made on here now 🤧💖 but also, be careful of stranger danger and talk to those appropriate to your age! quite frankly, for instance, it doesn’t make sense for a 25 year old to want to be friends with a 14 year old. I can understand if the 14 year old wants to ask for advice or something, but having an equal friendship is nearly impossible when you’re at different stages of your life / maturity. Please stay safe! 💛 and omg no need to apologize, lovebug, I hope my answer made sense for you! let me know if you have any other questions 💟

Fic Writer Interview

thanks for tagging me @omgchyeahplease !!! nick ily <33 god i missed tag games so much 🥺 (i just got back from a month long on hiatus for future context)

Name: maya :D

Fandoms: on ao3 that’d be vld, tdp, ml, ghibli, and hq. i dont think im going to be writing anymore tdp, but ive been writing for the others (yes, even voltron aslkdfj) so they may or may not pop up again :^)

Where you post: just ao3! i technically have a wattpad..and theres a fic i wrote sitting there from when i was 13...but i dont plan on posting there ever again lol

Most popular one-shot: hits-wise, that’d be Unrequited, a lil piece i wrote because i was frustrated with how the vld writers were handling lance’s relationships lol. kudos-wise, it’s Finding Our Way, a backstory fic i wrote for amaya and gren from tdp for a secret santa. both are from 2018 so id love to see another one of my fics get more attention, but i do still like those two well enough!

Most popular multi-chapter: well..i supposed by default it’d be Sensations...it’s SUPPOSED to be a multichap,,but it still only has one chapter. it says 1/? so im counting it tho lol. maybe one day ill finish it :”D

Fic you were nervous to post: probably Ruins because i originally started it for a bang that i joined..didnt finish it on time..then got inspiration to finish it later and posted it separately :”D. i got MASSIVE guilt over that ohn god

How you choose your titles: i used very chaotically pick lyrics from meme songs exclusively LSDKJF but then i actually started thinking about story themes and through lines and just choose it based on that now lol

Do you outline: god i wish i did LOL maybe id be able to write a multichap for once in my life if i actually had a solid plot to follow. the closest thing to outlining that i do is ramble about my ideas to my friends and then make up shit as i go along 

Do you take prompts: aha well i dont really use my socmeds for writing - but if i ever got followers for my writing maybe i would! i did once for the ml writers guild im in and i actually really enjoyed it

Complete: 16 full fanfictions (tiny oneshots)! posted that is. i have another complete one sitting around because its for a zine that hasnt been shipped out yet.

In Progress: i have one posted in progress multichap as i mentioned, and then...well..hm i mean i could count all the docs in my “current wips” google folder but who am i kidding LOL im only really actively working on like 4 of them rn. im really excited about my haikyuu wips but i wont say anything about them because if i do i might never finish any LOL

tagging @kiroiimye @bringingglory @uh-leesh @deitay @eggscellence @actuallyasweetpotato  @pacifistpinnapple @e-milieeee and any of my other moots if you want to!

iiiiiiii can’t ditch the life plan though I tried, for a week I really tried, but it. didn’t go to plan.

I brought everything up with my parents, yadda yadda maybe stop putting so much pressure on me yadda yadda at dinner aaaaand

well, to sum it up I don’t think it’s healthy to breakdown about 3 times in one sitting aHa-

plus they made a really good point that my desire to be the best of the best was never them, it was a decision I made, and they’re right- no one ever told me to aim for what I am but now I can’t stop because I don’t know which parts are just me and which parts are my parents and which parts I’ll get in trouble for not following up with-

And on the Asian quotas: yep, race quotas exist, usually only in private schools though, public schools like UCLA and USC can’t do that unless there’s a law passed or whatever

speaking of laws they almost passed a proposition here in California that would allow public schools to set quotas... thank god it didn’t pass but it scared me for a good while

mm and on the entrance exams thing that’s the sat/act, but even that is very skewed because if you’ve got enough money, you can do act/sat prep classes, which makes it really unfair for students who can’t afford those

they’ve stopped using them for that reason, I think? at least in California? yeah I don’t think sats/acts count anymore... for now

(is it bad that I’ve spent so long doing what my parents wanted me to be/like that I no longer have a concept of what I enjoy and what I am passionate about?)

(probably)

(oh wells)

(if nothing else I have sad word spam on a google doc that will never see the light of day)

also please don’t be intimidated by me being debate club president it’s really not that big of a deal (also remember the friend I lost secretary to? she disagrees with me but we’re debating this Friday and I’m certain she’s going to win... my reputation is about to take a hit)

just between you and me I think there was nepotism involved- there was definitely some bias going around,,,

-🍵!!!

i can relate on um not being able to get rid of the life plan anon aaa for the most part I'm the one pressuring myself to be the best that I can be (cause my parents learned to lay off once I started doing quite well at a sci high school which is um yea a fucking miracle really). but in the end that self-pressure has and keeps on fucking me over multiple times so rn I'm constantly learning to try and go easy myself and allow myself to make mistakes. i don't think either of us is fully gonna get rid of the life plan mindset buuut we could both try to kinda take it a bit easier on ourselves, like i dunno lowering the very high standard bar by 5 centimeters every week or so. it's a long process with quite a few unavoidable relapses bu hey we'll be a lot happier if we do so! And perhaps one day you can find the parts of yourself that are truly yours in the process so yay! I'm rooting for you mate but don't forget to take it easy on yourself!!!

also dude um you can take this new high school opportunity to truly get to know yourself and separate yourself from the image that your parents paint you to be! explore shit and do whatever the hell you want! And if you don't know what exactly you want then um explore shit that looks kinda intriguing! i had a similar experience back in 9th grade and i was only able to snap out of the little-miss-perfect mindset when i started befriending a classmate of mine (whom my parents didnt really like) that helped me step out of my comfort zone which then led me to participate in more interschool writing shit and eventually led me to realizing my bisexuality so yea long story short (sorry for the ramble tea anon jdfjd): 7th grade me would be absolutely disgusted at 11th grade me and you know what? I'm completely fine with that cause 7th grade me was what i though my parents and everyone else wanted me to be and I didn't really want to be that also 7th grade me is a homophobic entitled bitch. So yea sorry for the lengthy preachy thingy tea anon but i guess all i wanted to say is to um take this opportunity to separate yourself from the perfect image in your head and find out who you really are and who you really wanna be cause at the end of the day, your happiness and wellbeing is what will stick.

and yea the racial quotas still kinda fucks with my brain aaa like that's kinda fucked up??? That'll be so easy to manipulate in favor of white people though aaaaa i mean i know it's part of affirmative action stuffs aka um movements for more poc representation and stuff but like mfjsjs it can also go the other way and further harm poc aaaa. also yea entrance exams are a bit skewed too aaa it's the same over here: if u have enough money and time to go to entrance exam classes and shit, then boom you are 99.9% guaranteed to pass the exam which is a bit unfair to those who can't afford it aaaaaa college shit is complicated and has a lot of systemic problems.

also DUDE I AM VERY INTIMIDATED OF DEBATERS CAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE ONE VJDJSFJ like my friends say that I'm good at debating bUT THE THING IS I DON'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE AND COHERENCE OF ONE AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT CONFIDENCE AND COHERENCE AAAAAA. So yea i automatically admire you a lot mate aaa goodluck on the Friday debate woo I'm sure you'll do well!!!

I saw some other ppl doing this and I’m just going to answer them all because I’m very bored.. going to bed at 10 pm on NYE will do that.. I’m so old

1. Long term, def finish some long project I’ve been working on, like RNR or something else. And I really want to pump out some more original stuff. Honestly just getting onto a good update schedule and getting my shit back together would be great, after everything that happened this year, I would love to be more organized and productive with this stuff.

2. Short term, I’m about to get up the next chap of RNR (I started publishing it 2 years ago tomorrow I mean what the heck) so continuing to map that out will be at the top of my list. I have a couple of other things I’ve been working on but I don’t want to post anything until I update that :|

3/4 I don’t think my process or style has really changed much. I think I’ve gotten better just from the practice, but my writing style has been the same basically my whole life and my process is.. not much of a process lol.. I usually ride the wave of inspiration as long as I can but when I get bogged up with real-life stuff I can just stare at a word doc for HOURS, no matter how much I’ve outlined or already written. I usually outline, fill in any scenes as they come to me, anything I’m not sure of I [ put in brackets ] so I can come back later and fill it in. I never delete anything I write bc I so often repurpose dialogue or scenes. Flipping between perspectives in RNR I keep a basic chapter outline so I know what points I have to hit on to keep it all paced out right. Phew!

5. I WILL FINISH RNR it’s not that close to being done but I really had a goal for where I wanted to be rn and I am not there.. so next year I’ll be better! I have some other things they will be multi chap but I haven’t even shared them with anyone yet so that doesn’t really matter, hopefully I will soon !!

6. I’ll probably do Nanowrimo next year because I did it all the time when I was younger and it was so fun, I missed out on it this year. Maybe I’ll try to pick up some other things, I’ve never really done anything else before.

7. RNR obviously.. I also have some others like a sequel to my Britney Spears fic which I guess would count

8. Ok I’ve been working on this Hankcon James Bond ish secret agent AU for like a year and I’m really proud of it but haven’t done much more than string together a bunch of Cool scenes and whatnot so it needs more polish, but I’ll be really excited to work on that more.

9. I have a Kara/Luther fic I want to get up which has been sooo fun and sweet I love them. Also maybe I’ll post it when I’m done with RNR but I have a Sheriff Pedro backstory one shot I wrote sometime this year and I know I’m the only mf who’s got a Pedro/Gary fixation but I still want to share it.. Ugh this is making me look at all my google docs and I have so much to do!! It’s ok I’ll get there eventually

10. NEW FANDOMS OK OK so I have a Magicians fic or 2 in the works but we just finished watching She-Ra and ahhhhhh it was so good I don’t know if I could nail the characters but I am DYING to write some magical space adventure stuff. Catradora is the friends to enemies to friends to lovers shit of my DREAMS but Entrapta and Hordak really got me!!!! I want to see some fun shit. Also I had an ATLA Pride & Prejudice AU ??? And I wrote an Indian in the Cupboard fic but I’m afraid to post it.. anyway I’m not sharing anything until get back on track w RNR so hopefully that is my motivation !!!

Everyone do this !! Happy new year !!

i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart  is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters. 

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started:  - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is  something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

!!!! andi, hi ! how're you doing ? also please ramble to me about arula i love her so much,,,

aaaa  hello  teo !!!  i’m  doing  very  well ,  currently  working  on  writing  and  filling  out  arula’s  google  doc  rn  because  im  obnoxious  and  am  pouring  way  to  much  time  into  developing  her  <3  also  because  i  already  know  my  arula  ramblings  r  gonna  be  long  as  HELL ,  im  gonna put  them  under  the  cut !!  <3 

OKAY  SO  ARULA  RAMBLING  TIME !!!!!!  so  i’ve  been  working  on  her  backstory  a  lot  and  i  just ,,, love  her  so  much  dude  its  crazy . so  u  know  how  i  told  you  abt  how  ppl  came  and  killed  her  entire  dark  gnome  city but  i  didnt  know  who  did  it ???  WELL  GUESS  WHAT  BITCH  I  FIGURED  WHO  DID  IT !!!  well  i  didn’t  completely  figure  out  who  did  it  cause  im  kinda  torn  between  two  different  races  but  STILL !!!  so  i’m  deciding  between  either  having  drows  be  the  cause  of  it  (  since  in  ~ dnd  lore ~  that  i’ve  found  drows  are  huge  fucking  assholes  and  hunt  the  deep  gnomes  for  fun >:(  i  hate  them  )  or  humans  be  the  cause  of  it !!  for  the  humans  i  was  thinking  that  maybe  younger  arula  used  to  have  a  human  friend  that  she  always  snuck  out  to  meet  (  possibly  their  gnome  city  was  built  underneath  a  human  one ???  idk  )  but  mayhaps  one  day  the  humans  found  out  abt  arula  and  thought  she  was  trying  to  kidnap  their  daughter  or  some  shit  so  they  came  and  tried  to  kill  them  all ???  idk  humans  are  fucked  so  them  doing  wouldn’t  rlly  surprise  me  </3  but  yeah !!  thats  been  the  biggest  thing  in  her  backstory  rn  that  im  trying  to  work  out  since  its  rlly  fucking  important  adkwjdkawjd  also  later  on  in  her  life  when  she’s  taken  on  her  ~ performer  persona uwu ~  she  lives  in  a  room  above  a  tavern  which  is  actually  the  same  tavern  where  she  works  at !!  also  to  pay  for  the  tavern  room  she  sleeps  w  the  tavern’s  owner  who  kind  of  acts  like  her  sugar  mommy  in  some  ways ???  but  the  tavern’s  owner  also  treats  her  like  shit  which  >:(  miss  arula  rlly  can’t  catch  a  break  </3  i  feel  so  bad  for  her  wkdajwjd  BUT  YEAH !!!  thats  rlly  all  i  have  now ,  thank  u  for  giving  me  a  reason  to  ramble  abt  arula  because  she  is  the  ONLY  THING  I  CAN  THINK  ABT !!!  ISTG  THE  ONLY  THING  I’VE  BEEN  DOING  FOR  THE  LAST  THREE  DAYS  HAS  BEEN  DEVLOPING  HER  CHARACTER  LMAPWODKAWD  HELP  SHE  LIVES  IN  MY  MIND  RENT  FREE  <3

ALSO !!!! SHAMELESS  PLUG  BUT  I  MADE  A  PINTEREST  BOARD  FOR  HER  WHICH  YOU  CAN  FIND  HERE !! 

writing tag game

tagged by @idolcandy​ to do this, honestly what a timing since i got back from a one year writing slumber recently 

AO3 name: centralsaints

Fandoms: according to my ao3 profile, i wrote for death note (1 published fic), hetalia (3 published fics) and my candy love (8 published fics). but all the fandoms i have written for that i have not posted there? oh boy. so there’s the arcana, voltron (wrote half of a fic back in 2017 and then never touched it again), wrote some kind of thing (?) while i read PJO for the first time, i have one black butler series that is uh. buried somewhere on ff.net (about the reaper’s death if i remember correctly. also was probably on crack in the summer of 2017 and wrote the plan of a modern au fic in whihc alois owned a tarantula). if we go back to high school i have written for naruto and also the rotbtd fandom. oh god i wrote A LOT for that crossover. still have some kind of fic planned (that i named the stay dead au) that i kinda want to write. i think that covers all of it? OH I FORGOT THE MOST ABSURD ONE: i have started writing a fic for Dramatical Murder recently. i got into that game in 2014, played it for the first time in 2017, then forgot it existed until a month ago

Tropes: FOUND FAMILY, friends to lovers, slice of life, unrequited love, bittersweet ending, character studies, working through mental health (?), i can’t think of other tropes i use? 

Number of fics: officially i have 6 finished one shots, one on going drabble collection, one abandonned fic (rip seen 2:18 am u will be missed), one semi-abandonned fic, and one finished fic on ao3. on the amour sucré forum i have an abandonned fic (rip again to seen), an on going fic called “12 things alexy hates” REALLY want to continue this one, one finished fic and a one shot collection. i dont know how many wips i have sitting in my google doc. 

Fic I spent the most time on: SEEN: 2:18 AM. i unfortunately have abandonned it by now, but on god i spent maybe from july 2017 to early 2018 entirely focused on planning that fic, and it still is the longest time i’ve spent having my attention on one project.

Fic I spent the least time on: this death note short (the only one on my ao3 lmao). i wrote it in under an hour at like 1 am because i couldn’t get the scene out of my head, the night before a deadline for one of my art history essay i was trying to finish 

Longest fic: for my published fic it’s the meme that is this group chat fic. but outside of that, it’s probably SEEN. the draft for it is 11 000 words and the doc is 33 pages long. maybe i’ll sort through it one day but my writing has changed a lot so its likely those 33 pages wont be published, rip again to this fic

Shortest fic:  fever dream, an armin/nathaniel fic i wrote while i was sick

Most hits/kudos/comment threads/bookmarks: it’s apparently the group chat fic  smh.

Total word count: 19 834 on AO3. absolutely no idea for all the wips sitting in my drive.

Favorite fic I wrote:  definitely the drabble series about the twins “the things that follows”. i wrote most of these while i was in therapy, and untangling some stuff about myself, in spring 2018. i was in a pretty good place i think at that time, and that’s why i still love this series a lot.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: i’m contemplating continuing the group chat fic, and maybe one day if i find the energy to comb through and rewrite SEEN, i’d really like for that to happen. there’s also a short drabble about armin getting stuck in a time loop i posted on my tumblr that i want to expand onto a full fic (which the working title rn is “purgatorio”)

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: my current and most recent wips include; the dmmd fic series, a series of mcl OS inspired by the magnus archive universe and the slow building of a UL rewrite with my OC charlie the national fuck up. so here’s some of those;

Sei does not know for how long he has been cut off from his own mind and stuck in his body, unable to go away like he used to do so when the world was too harsh and too real for him, but also unable to completely shut off his mind, like he had wanted. An unknown amount of time passes; he feels himself trying to reach for the outside, for the bits of himself outside of his mind and it seems like there is nothing outside.

from the dmmd sei centric fic, because he deserves to l i v e. working title for this series is the long way home

I will say one thing before I begin this, and it’s the same thing I told the police and the lawyers: it was justified. It was necessary. It might have been a murder, but it sure was not a crime. You have to understand that have taken to hunting monsters for a living. And that man was in fact, a monster. 

from nathaniel’s statement, in the mcl x tma series.

They weren’t a couple, that was something very clear between them, and one of the first thing Charlie had said after the first time they’d slept together. Still, it felt oddly domestic for Nathaniel to see Charlie come out of his bathroom, bare faced with her hair still wet with only a t-shirt that was clearly too old and too big for her. 

from a scene in my UL rewrite/fic/AU.

thank you for the tag!! i tag @marycecilyy and anyone who wants to do this tbh, i don’t uh. really know a lot of writers.

i was tagged by @billdenbrough, my #1

rules: answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to know better

nickname: mar is technically a nickname. a friend of mine has taken to calling me miss mandarin, people call me mandarijn (dutch for mandarin) a lot. margerine, marzipan, marijnuana, marine ... there’ve been a bunch of nicknames, most of them bc people dont know how to pronounce marijn lmao

zodiac sign: leo!!! 

height: 5′8/173 cm

hogwarts house: gryffindor first, hufflepuff second

last thing i googled: "slaapbed in het engels” i had to translate something to english lmao

song stuck in my head: well i’m listening to music rn so the song i’m listening atm is stuck in my head, and that’s all the wine by the national!

following: 133, which is a pretty low amount for me so i’m constantly trying to find more peeps to follow

followers: yeehaw i have 51 followers which isn’t a lot but it is if you consider that ive had this blog for a month, have less than 200 posts and haven’t created anything yet so my blog is just reblogs & a random textpost here and there. i don’t have anything to offer and yet! there’s 50 of you! lmao

amount of sleep i get: 7-8? i finally have healthy sleeping habits

lucky numbers: 7 / 17 / 56

dream job: i want so much ... i’d really love to be my own boss --- be a freelance journalist and write the stories that drive me and bring me passion and sell them to magazines/online platforms i love. or i’d like to work for a magazine in general! besides that i’d love to write creatively and make art, and in a perfect world i’d be able to combine my love for creating journalistic pieces, for creative writing and for making art into one big career.  

wearing: my low ankle docs, striped socks, levi’s, a turtleneck w skandinavian print

favorite songs: these are on my favourites playlist on spotify: baba o’riley -- the who, beautiful people beautiful problems -- lana del rey and stevie nicks, tusk -- fleetwood mac, under pressure -- queen and david bowie, tears dry on their own -- amy winehouse, landfill -- daughter, bird song -- florence and the machine, street spirit (fade out) -- radiohead, teenage riot -- sonic youth, porcelain -- red hot chili peppers, don’t stop (the dance live version) -- fleetwood mac, rhiannon (the dance live version) -- fleetwood mac, i know it’s over -- the smiths, the wind -- pj harvey, lise -- eefje de visser, paper thin hotel -- leonard cohen 

instruments: i own a guitar, a baritone ukulele and a concert ukulele. i’m mostly self taught (my mother taught me some guitar basics though) and am ... definitely amateur but i can pick a few songs and strum and i know chords and all that !!! i do play a lot and jam with friends and i like to sing. 

random fact: the other day i saw a dog ‘walking themselves’ by holding their leash with their mouth and i burst out in tears on my bike. it was so fucking cute. i just --

aesthetics: funky socks, red lipstick, raindrops on glasses, wine stained teeth, holding up a finger while reading a book to quiet someone, beaten up doc martens, dancing while crying and listening to britney spears, chipped nailpolish, petting all cats on the street (and having favourites), dumb but funny remarks in class, pink eyeshadow, listening to your dad’s old records

tagging: if you see this and want to do this you have BEEN TAGGED

Idk if this is a conversation you’re ready to have but... to me it seems like BTS was the reason of your unhappiness in the last blog. Or if you moved on etc. I understand because I’ve been in that feeling. I stanned a 2nd gen group for the longest time since they debuted back in 2009 but it wasn’t healthy for me anymore. To me I see you’re somewhat in a similar stage. Correct me if I’m wrong.

alright, i am finally back home at my apartment so i can get on my laptop and answer this question fully. because this has been something that has come up a lot since people from my old blogs have been finding me again on this space.

i am gonna put it under a read more because its probably going to be overly dramatic and long winded

bts came into my life at a time where i was in a very co-dependent relationship. it was the middle of 2016 and kpop opened up a whole new world to me. and when i fell head first into bts, they were my safe space. they were the first thing that was only mine in a very long time. and i just like went full steam ahead. i started writing. i started buying everything i could get my hands on. they filled a part of my life that i didn’t realize i was missing, my sense of identity.

but if you were following me back in late 2016/early 2017 then you’ll know i started to branch out and fall for more groups. and since i was also a fic writer, i wanted my writing to reflect my interests. and my interests weren’t just bts. 

and that’s when the first wave of hate hit me. people were upset about the possibility of my content shifting from just bts to other groups. they didnt like it. they didnt want to see it. they didnt support me. but then somehow that hate shifted and became personal. i was getting attacked for the personal stuff i was sharing. i was getting attacked for being vocal about things i didnt agree with. i was getting hate for being open about my really terrible break up. i was even getting attacked for sharing my step-brother’s death for “attention and sympathy”. 

and it wasn’t all armys who were treating me this way. i still had a shit ton of supportive readers and friends and followers. but things had just like been spiralling out of control for months that i decided to jump ship (to a produce group lol ironic right since my blog is now produce focused again). and i lost like 2k followers because of it. 

but i was happy. i was able to enjoy kpop again in a different fandom. but then after a while i felt the same pull to bts. i changed my url back and tried to get my blog back on track but nothing ever really felt the same. so i decided to delete. 

i remade in secret and started writing again in hopes that i would find that spark. but it was like going back to an ex you know you shouldnt go back to. when i revealed myself and re-posted content i just put myself right back where i was before. i wasn’t happy. i was losing interest in bts. i was just....stuck. which sounds so strange but when you are a content creator that is the only word that seems to fit. 

so i made the decision to close war-of-hormoan. i finally felt like my time on that space had ended. and that it was time for me to move on to bigger and better things. and in order to prevent myself from going back and repeating the same mistakes i made when i first remade, i posted the endings to all my fics. i gave conclusions and tied up loose strings so that i wouldn’t be tempted. 

and it was definitely the right decision. i am proud of the work i created in those almost 3 years. i read through my google docs and feel so much joy in the memories in that time of my life. and it will always be really special to me as it was through the friendships i made and the support of my followers that i made it through one of the hardest periods in my life.

and i decided to remake a few weeks after because i still wanted to enjoy gifs and content but without the pressure of being a “content creator”. i just wanted to be a fan. and to be able to relax. and cry in the tags over my biases.

 and i also decided to officially leave bts behind. 

it wasn’t because of anything that happened with the anons and the drama. it was because to be honest, i just haven’t been interested in them in a very long time. they just feel so overexposed and have turned into a machine that is constantly pumping out products that don’t really feel like them (not their music because i really loved the last mini but all the shit like dolls and uno cards and who knows what else). 

they’ve just lost that spark for me. 

and i felt oddly guilty about it? because people in kpop fandoms make you feel like you have to be SO INVESTED AND SO LIKE EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED to call yourself a fan....and that’s not always the case. like i couldnt give a shit about streaming numbers or fan theories. or any of that. i just want to enjoy my favorites without that intense pressure. and i feel like the bts fandom has become all about numbers. 

a part of me feels like they entered my life for a reason. they were my rock that got me through that horrible fucking breakup. they allowed me to make friendships that i know are probably going to last the rest of my life. and there are so many things i could say about what that time in my life meant to me. and will always mean to me, but i will keep that to myself because i will probably start to cry and sound even more dramatic than i already am rn.

but i still casually listen to them. i still check out run episodes if i think one is funny. but i definitely don’t feel the same way about them as i used to. and who knows, maybe after their hiatus (which they fucking deserve) and put out a new album i’ll get sucked back into them. but for now i am enjoying the break. 

i am enjoying giving attention to other groups. esp since x1 is about to debut and askldfjasdfalksdfj i am so whipped for them i can’t even deal with it sometimes. 

1, 12, 20 ^_^

1. If you’re an author, how many WIPs do you currently have? (Be honest!)

i actually only have 3 WIPS and by that i mean google docs that ACTUALLY have WORDS/PROGRESS on them. my outlines/scattered note pages on the other hand…uhhh question didn’t specify. im SaFE from the exPOSURE LMAO

12. Friends with benefits or secret dating?

i only write for jorleesi (got) rn so im just gonna answer with them in mind.

OH MAN. the angst potential in both of those ideas. friends with benefits would definitely be the angstier of the two though. just because jorah is basically an all or nothing type of dude, so doing the fuckage with dany without the love all while being IN LOVE with her would MUTILATE his heart. imagine him reaching his breaking point and all of his feelings just pour out for her and it’s either “kay listen honey you either love me back or we’re ending this”. cue all the angsty feelings lmao. i can imagine this in a modern au. orRRRRR a modern au where the roles are reversed and dany falls in love with jorah first and some goddamn business arrangement or whatever entails FWB shit that fucks her up. and she feels like she cant tell him because it’ll ruin their careers/future/family/whatEVUH. oof lol.

20. Do you have a favorite fanfic or author? If so, tag them/post a link and share the love!

bruhhhh just ONE?? wth is up with the formatting for this question. that’s just CRAY. ok im not going to list them because god forbid if i miss one person im going to feel like GARBAGE. so im going to cheat and say every single writer in the jorleesi fandom are my faves. y’all know who you are //heart eyes//

ask numbers 3, 9, 22, 49!

Thank you for the ask!

3) Name Three Favorite Writers: @slothquisitor is one of my favorite writers. She’s amazing and all of her Dragon Age fanfiction is so well done. Plus, she’s working on an original fiction book, so that is something to keep an eye out for! Then, there’s Herbrarian over on Ao3. She writes beautifully, and again, her Dragon Age stuff is fantastic. Lastly, I’m gonna go with @queen-squids. We used to RP together, and the characters she’d write and stories she came up with are fucking amazing. I will never forget my priesty finding a talking severed head in Silverpine. 

9) do you set yourself deadlines? I do. If I’m in a slump, I’ll set myself a simple deadline that I know I should be able to finish, so that I can get a sense of accomplishment. If I’m doing well, I’ll set myself something harder to meet because I know I’ll have the energy/momentum to get it done. In the past, I would do 1 chapter for each of my stories a week, but I don’t currently have the energy for something that ambitious rn, haha.

22) favorite story you’ve ever written. Well, sticking with my fanfics, it would probably be Impervious or Kaitrith Disapproves. Impervious started as me practicing following a bunch -- there’s like 25+ characters who are all sorta main characters -- of different story lines and plots and weaving them together, and just kind of morphed into the monstrosity it is now. With KD, I wanted to practice focusing on romance cuz i forget romance is a thing sometimes rofl, and I’m really happy with how it turned out.

49) writing advice: Well, not sure what I can say that hasn’t been said before, but let’s see...

Feedback is great, but in the end, it is your story. Your readers/friends/beta readers, etc. don’t know your plot twists or your characters like you do, so do what you feel is right and don’t feel like you have to change something because someone doesn’t like it.

Now, if someone says a scene is confusing or they feel like they’re missing something, you might need to edit a little just to make sure what’s happening is clear. I’ve done that plenty where I think I’ve laid out a scene really well and then someone is like, “Wtf? How did A get over to C?” and then I realize I forgot a transition or explanation or whatever, lol.

Ignore the fucking blue squiggly lines in ms word. Red lines and green lines are generally worth checking, cuz they’re misspellings or grammatical errors, but i stg that program doesn’t know wtf it’s doing with those blue lines. It doesn’t recognize complex sentence structures and shit. 

Also, google docs has a limited vocab, so if it’s telling you you spelled a word wrong and you’re pretty sure it’s right, you are probably right. Google the word to make sure if there’s any doubt, and then flip google docs the double bird for trying to make you question yourself.

believe in yourself. you got this