#i miss eating enough
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i have given up on sleep for now i suppose. the hallucinations will start soon because i have not been sleeping well again lately before this but i just cannot sleep with this paranoia. but if i dont sleep then the paranoia gets worse. oh vicious cycle, we're really in it now :(
#i am laughing to myself a little bit rn. remembering the shitty doctor telling me i just need to sleep and eat healthy and exercise#gee. what a novel idea. sure wonder why i didnt try that before :o)#i miss sleeping from 9pm-6/7am every night#i miss eating enough#i miss going on hikes and walks and not feeling exhausted from thinking abt things or doing dishes#i miss feeling okay. i want to sleep. i miss not being afraid of spiders#i miss feeling like i had any shot at a future. i miss thinking that I'd have a career. and a house. and friends irl fjfkdl#ohhh hello old ache of ''i want to go home'' while being at ''home'' already#okay stop the dramatics. i am just tired. i am so tired and i need to not let all my emotions catch up to me fjfkdl#keep on outrunning them so i do not have to deal w them fjfkdl but i am stuck tonight in fear so they are catching up to me now#needless to say i will not be booking a follow up appt w the doctor. she has nothing for me except condescension :/#delete
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All patched up
#i feel crazy bc I’ve been trying to draw this mf for months#but nothing felt sufficient#i knew exactly what he had to look like but nothing came out close until now#Kit’s wrio destroyed me i see him every night when i close my eyes 😊#Wrio’s the typa guy who's in his late 40s#gets home by 7pm after his prison work to pet his black and white spotted cat#and watch tv while sipping his favorite earl grey tea#he’s just missing a soft and loving wife to dote on him …….. me#ok lmfao that’s enough goodbye#wriothesley#genshin#genshin impact#him looking up at me as i ask to sit on his lap to eat my cookies
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Okay but the Justice League finds out their new baby hero teammate Phantom is the Ghost King by virtue of the Fright Night showing up while they're in the middle of a meeting, looking terrifying and such and scaring the shit out of everyone- even more so when Constantine starts freaking out over the fact that the sworn night of the King of the Infinite Realms is in the Watchtower what the fuck that's apocalyptically bad Pariah Dark is supposed to be locked the fuck up forever - but instead of trying to smite them all or yeet them into the nightmare dimension he just pulls out a space themed packed lunch??? And gives it to Phantom??
And the mildly eldritch giant murder ghost is talking about how "The Queen Mother commanded me to ensure you ate my Lord, she says you missed your morning meal."
And Phantom is just grumbling about over protective sisters and "there's a cafeteria i would have been fine" what the fuck is happening right now?
What do you mean "oops you forgot" Phantom I thought the ghost thing was just a theme!
#dc x dp#dp x dc#justice league#danny phantom#danny fenton#jazz fenton#fright knight#ghost king danny#fanfic writing prompts#danny at lunch later: aw shit she packed from home now i gotta fight it#justice league watching in horror as his left overs try to kill him: what the fuck what the fuck what the fu-#john constantine#Constantine thinks danny as the ghost king is gonna yell at him about all the soul selling#Danny just thinks it's hilarious and has no intention of interfering#he doesn’t have to deal with that paperwork and thise demons are assholes anyway#danny does get a long lecture after fright knight shows up about sharing need to know information#he gets another one after that about not missing meals#JL member: I don’t *care* if you're the Ghost King you're still growing and need to make sure you're eating enough!#Danny desperately trying to keep them from meeting Jazz because it's all over for his days of eating junk food if that happens
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underrated way barbatos being a greed demon is shown pretty well is that he clearly has a thing about dressing mc up
#we don't talk about his obvious weirdgirl behavior enough...... some of u need to eat more barbatos devilgram mush#obey me barbatos#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me shall we date#barbatos x mc#barbatos#long post /#unfortunately i am into this. haunted by the fact that miss girl even makes being possessive work 4 me in obey me of all games.#notorious haver of annoying possessive characters
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original thief series basso & garrett :)
ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels
there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.
anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories#are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox#anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun#to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people#the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying#it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell?#but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks#and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower#because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism#(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here#in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top#of those themes instead of through it)#ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting#SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT#unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable#thief the dark project#i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP#sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know#garrett thief#basso thief
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what gets me about the shadow/maria dynamic is that it takes the trope of "weak helpless girl dies for a tragic plot device" and subverts it
Maria wasn't helpless in her fate. She did have a choice. Shadow would have been strong enough to protect them both (Where else could they even go? Would he need to hurt someone?) but instead she made a choice to protect Shadow.
Shadow's story isn't tragic because he failed to protect Maria and now spends the rest of his life tormented over it. Shadow's story is tragic because he is the strongest creature alive, but raw power isn't always enough, and his loving friend made a sacrifice to let him go hoping she was giving him a chance to learn compassion because she was strong!
Maria's purpose isn't that she's a weak little girl who dies. Maria's legacy is that she protects the strongest creature alive, and teaches it the strength of love.
Her character gives the moment purpose, not the other way around. Her willingness to die so he can go free, asking him to use his strength to protect the people of Earth, despite everything. It's her proof of love that gives Shadow's burden that kind of extreme weight. Shadow will live forever and with so much limitless power, would life be easy to discard without a second thought? Not Maria's. Not when she asked him to protect it. That weight will remind him, always.
#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#sonic movie 3#ill just be really super bummed if they miss the point of her death ig#dont dismiss her as just the sad little girl who gets killed and decide that isnt good enough for her character#it can mean SO much if you are big brained. dont waste the moment by pretending it shouldnt happen#i love “maria lives" aus. i will eat that shit up ALL DAY#but THEY feel so good because i know THIS is what she did for him. this is how much she loved him#ok?
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this beautiful idiot went to live with someone else and honestly, both of our QOL are much better HAHA
#she just could not vibe with a house full of other animals#her anxiety manifested in insatiably eating everything#not just food#cardboard plastic you name it#i had to lock cupboards and put books on the bin so she couldnt open it and rummage through it#she screamed for food constantly#she innappropriately toileted constantly#to the point where i bought two automatic litter trays so they were always spotless in case that was the issue#she was medicated and given daily enrichment#but nope#anyway after over a year of kind of hating our life together#i bit the bullet and rehomed her#her food obsession has disappered and besides peeing on their bathmat once#she has used the litter tray without issue#we make a commitment to our pets yall#but do not force yourself to keep them if you are both miserable#i wish i was brave enough to have done this sooner#anyway#rehoming is not the devil#and you can do it responsibly#bye ferg i'm sorry to say i don't miss you#but i'm so glad you're finally happy#fergie#the cat edition
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hahaha wheee haha
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#continuing to tag ship instead of answering any of the reporters' questions#as you can see. I am still on my Reki Speaks English Pretty Fluently But Can Not Read It For Shit bullshit#and also. teen shenanigans. which can also be grown up shenanigans if ur not a square#man. todays been a Whole thing. how was it really the case that every art supply store I went to ran out of black ink#three! I went to three stores! literally a triangle in the city!#still have some of the devils tar left but I'm not enthusiastic about it#well! that's for future baku to care about and for me to ignore babeyy#tbh this is like. Im just glad I can still scribble a funny comic when it strikes me it's been too long#I don't do that a lot anymore... even tho its such a good measure of like. ur sense of timing#if u can draw a funny comic ur powerful enough to do anything. u can eat the sun u can kick its ass. u can draw a sad comic too#I realized I missed that...#also accidentally sent this from draft without adding tags lol. and tried adding tags on mobile and it spit in my face and called me a bitch#got enough of that. one must never forget one's currently on tumblr#now I sleep. gods. gods do I need a bit of that#have a good night lads. bring a worm onto a rollercoaster. see what happens
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(palette challenge) PINK LEMONADE OR WATERMELON FOR DELIRIS ⁉️⁉️⁉️
@oldworldwidgets — [ palette prompts ]
WATERMELON LEMONADE DELIRIS 💖💚
#💖💛💚❤#I am on my hands and knees rn#I had so much fun playing around with the colors and seeing what I could do with them#only the slightest of tweaking to the palette I wasn't vibing with one color so I made it a pale yellow#and then said fuck it and added a darker yellow as well#for you my darling we get the best of BOTH palettes combined 😈💅#this came out soooo cute and dreamyyyy#ALSO MISS DELILAH IS ALWAYS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS OKAY I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HER#just gals being pals adoringly staring into each others eyes or whatever#THANK YOU FOR THE PROMPT AUD THIS WAS PERFECT#I'm going to be eating this piece forever I can't stop looking at the girls#they deserve to be happy and the soft expressions are making my heart explode 🥺#ANYWAY#I am going to be rotating teddy and zinnie in my mind now at high speeds#ily ily ily blowing you so many kisses rn#my art#friend oc#sole survivor#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#also sobbing over the new snake patch on iris's jacket okay I've been so excited abt that one#it'll stand out more in her regular palette but aaaaa I intend it to be the same color as delilah's eyes :]
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soukoku headcanons
#i miss drawing so much#soukoku#dazai x chuuya#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#my art#not me changing artstyle every week#this idea was born from me and my friend's cooking habits#dazai follows the recipes he finds online and they're exactly what the recipe says#they're good as long as the recipe is correct#chuuya glances at different recipes if it's something he hadn't cooked before then just goes for whetever image appeared in his head#they had to eat a lot of disgusting food when they were both at mafia and it was chuuya's turn to cook#(i don't think mori who's not-have-a-problem-with-encouraging-kids-using-firearms was paying them enough to eat out)#so yeah#adult chuuya has a characteristic tint in his cooking and dazai is a big fan of it#i haven't touched a dictionary to write all this
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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So unfair to sweet tooths and sour enjoyers that indulging in our favorite flavors causes cavities
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[Start ID. A dark, warm-toned drawing of Tundra, a robot with bladed legs and mechanical hands both lightened by frost, and a face like that of a fencing mask. She wears a blue jacket with a fluffy white ruff and pockets on the shoulders and chest, a long green skirt with tassels and pale wavy lines at the border, and a brown belt with a pouch at the side. She's shown from the right, leaning back on a stack of pillows and a wooden wall as she looks out to the left, disregarding the open book in her hand, her legs bent in front of her. Under her is a yellow and red rug which pads gritty flooring, over her are series of low, round string lights, providing soft lighting in a room that's partially open to the night sky.]
it's a friend's birthday today yet again... in honor of the occasion here's a Tundra for @automatonknight :]
#peridots-art#tundra lisa#< for lisa the hopeful? not sure if it's right to add that but thought she could have an extra tag...#mieczmaszyna#< been a while since that url... speaking of older names (one from around this time last year) you'll never guess what she's reading hehehe#@qwerty second year in a row of drawing a guy for you yippie!!! i really like tundra's design AND i really like drawing cozy scenes like#this so. even if it's a small drawing and didn't take that long i'm happy it turned out well!! actually finished it quick enough that i had#to wait for it to turn 12 in my timezone to post it :] anyway all of your characters are so dear to me and if i don't end up personally#telling you later i hope you have a great day today!! ok well that's all i think + goodnight :]#others' ocs#< ok i DID miss a tag but i haven't used it in a while! now that's one i need to see to using more often hehehehehe#OH JUST REMEMBERED TOO. i was eating pierogis near when i first began drawing this. poland moment (???????)
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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pls in my theatre class we have to compare a modern character in tv/film to a greek tragedy and then explain how they fit into the greek tragedy narrative…and ofc i thought of yellowjackets the problem is IDK WHICH CHARACTER TO PICK LMAO
#the way they’re all tragic in their own right but the finalists are kinda like. nat lottie shauna and jackie#top 2 are shauna and jack bc jackie is kinda like a dead ringer for tragedy she is little miss unfortunate#like she’s forced outside into the cold and doesn’t come back inside and freezes to death and gets eaten by her best friend and then haunts#the narrative but on the other hand shauna is also a dead ringer she fucks up sooo much and it leads to the demise around her#and she didn’t check up on jackie when she was outside and is haunted by jackie and is the first to eat jackie. but also shauna’s not like.#dead. yet. anyway#i’m having trouble if someone could help me out that’d be great omg💔💔💔#i’ve considered like every character and i’ve had to look at it in a stance where it’s like. what’s appropriate enough for this hm.#one of the only projects i’m genuinely excited about…idk i like analyzing thing#yellowjackets#my text
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Tara headcanons :3
(it's literally just angst. Blame @lionydoorin for making me have Tara thoughts)
She can't stand the smell of cooking meat anymore. It reminds her of Amber.
After Sam left, there wasn't anyone buying groceries on a regular basis. She never starved, but there were many occasions where she went to bed hungry.
She doesn’t remember most of the night her dad left (or even the man himself for that matter). She tried to grab him as he was leaving, but he shoved her off. She slammed her head on the corner of the wall really hard, and ended up with a scar on her forehead, chronic psychosomatic migraines, and tinnitus.
She'll avoid going to the hospital unless she absolutely has to. Not only does it reminds her of being attacked, she was also a really sick kid, and she spent a lot of her childhood hospitalized. Even just going to the doctor stresses her out.
She's like. 70% stress and anxiety at any given moment. Seriously somebody get this girl some SSRIs before she has a heart attack.
Her leg and hand have permanent nerve damage, and her entire left arm is kind of fucked up after 6. She has a semi-permanent arm brace, a cane for her leg, and a whole lot of chronic pain.
Christina had a revolving door of boyfriends, and would bring them home sometimes. They were almost always awful to Tara.
She really misses Amber sometimes. She never tells anyone.
#god I have SO many thoughts about her#canon isn't angsty enough I must make her suffer more#*puts her in the blender*#the other 30% is rage btw#---#pretty much the only thing her leg is good for is telling when it's about to rain#like. it works. she can walk on it. but it can't support her weight and she walks with a limp#so she has a cane. no matter how much she hates it#she just wants to be /normal/. normal people don't have nerve damage from their girlfriend stomping on their leg#so she just pretends it didn't happen. and there's nothing wrong with her leg#--#Christina's guys were awful to Sam too (when she was around) but this is Tara headcanons so#-#she feels so incredibly guilty for missing Amber#she misses the person who tried to kill her. who tried to kill her sister. who /did/ kill her friends. how awful is that?#so she never tells anyone#the guilt almost eats her alive#Tara tag#horror tag#hc tag
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