#needless to say i will not be booking a follow up appt w the doctor. she has nothing for me except condescension : | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

piplupod · 10 months

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i have given up on sleep for now i suppose. the hallucinations will start soon because i have not been sleeping well again lately before this but i just cannot sleep with this paranoia. but if i dont sleep then the paranoia gets worse. oh vicious cycle, we're really in it now :(

#i am laughing to myself a little bit rn. remembering the shitty doctor telling me i just need to sleep and eat healthy and exercise #gee. what a novel idea. sure wonder why i didnt try that before :o)#i miss sleeping from 9pm-6/7am every night #i miss eating enough #i miss going on hikes and walks and not feeling exhausted from thinking abt things or doing dishes #i miss feeling okay. i want to sleep. i miss not being afraid of spiders #i miss feeling like i had any shot at a future. i miss thinking that I'd have a career. and a house. and friends irl fjfkdl #ohhh hello old ache of ''i want to go home'' while being at ''home'' already #okay stop the dramatics. i am just tired. i am so tired and i need to not let all my emotions catch up to me fjfkdl #keep on outrunning them so i do not have to deal w them fjfkdl but i am stuck tonight in fear so they are catching up to me now #needless to say i will not be booking a follow up appt w the doctor. she has nothing for me except condescension :/#delete

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