#i might be just crazy talking here but i think i hear logan's voice the most in it??? that falsetto sounds very much his | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roanniom · 3 years

Note

Requests just in time for Valentine’s Day! 💘

I’d like to request a Valentine’s Day to remember with Clyde, please. Thank you for doing requests again!

Sure thing, anon <3

Deserving

Clyde Logan x Reader

Word Count: 3,388

Note: This serves as Part 2 for what I’m now calling Hello Darlin’, a Clyde and Darlin’!Reader series that began with First Conversation Jitters.

Read Part 1 Here

Warnings: NSFW, phone sex, masturbation (f/m), unprotected PIV sex, oral sex (m receiving)

You run your finger over the rim of your lemon water as you watch your bear of a man serve drinks with his sweet and steady charm. It’s the night before Valentine’s Day and he’d asked you to hang out at the Duck Tape during his bar tending shift, something you were more than happy to do. You’d camped out on the last stool on the right with a book, waiting for the moments between orders when Clyde would sail down to your corner of the bar and romance you.

It had been about a month or so since you had begun dating but everything still felt so new. When you’d walked away that first night after leaving your number on the napkin – a move you’d only ever seen in movies before – you had half worried that Clyde would be too nervous to call. And he was nervous, a fact he’d confided to you on the fourth date, the first night you two had spent together. As he held you in the dark, a finger tracing the line of your jaw, the slope of your neck, he’d muttered quiet words into your skin. They were vulnerable but hopeful. That was the thing that struck you most. The hope in his deep, drawling voice as he recounted the way that his heart had stopped when you’d answered the door earlier in your pretty dress. The way your laugh had soothed him instead of increasing his anxiety.

The timing of your courtship had not been ideal as the holidays had rolled in pretty rapidly after that, meaning you had a lot of prescheduled traveling to do. You’d bitten your tongue to refrain from inviting Clyde to Thanksgiving dinner, knowing he had a close family of his own and also knowing that the pressure of meeting yours might be too much to take so soon. Similarly, Christmas and New Years were a wash. You’d spent these days texting Clyde rapidly under the table, sending him sweet messages and well-wishes which he reciprocated to the best of his abilities – Clyde was not a great texter.

What he was good at, however, was talking on the phone. You waited all day every day of your holiday trips for the moment when you could steal away to your guest room in the evenings and wait for his call. It always came, and the deep, rumbling “Hello darlin’” was something that you realized quite quickly had emblazoned itself on the surface of your heart.

“Hiya, handsome,” you’d reply and he could always hear the smile in your voice. Sometimes you’d facetime, but often you would just stay up late with your phone pressed to your ear, whispering into the night. Because like that first night together when Clyde had been emboldened by the dark, Clyde was equally emboldened by the barrier of distance and technology. You weren’t sure if missing you had brought something out in him or just that with time he’d become more confident in your budding relationship. All you knew is that he was no longer holding back and you couldn’t be happier.

“I dreamt a’yer mouth last night, darlin’,” he’d told you on Christmas Eve after you already had caught up on what you both had done all day. His voice was quiet but sure as he said it. Not timid as you’d expect. Heat had immediately rushed to your core and you’d gotten comfortable on the bed, tucking the phone under your cheek on the pillow.

“And what exactly was my mouth doing in this dream of yours?”

“Lookin’ nice an’ pretty…” You were about to thank him but he surprised you by continuing. “…around my cock.”

“Clyde Logan, you dog!” you whisper back at him, trying to contain the excitement that bubbles up from the newness of being dirty on the phone with your sweet man.

“Lips all stretched ‘round me. Almost prettier than yer beautiful smile.”

“I wish I could have left you with memories of the real deal so you didn’t have to just dream about it,” you’d said wistfully, suddenly saddened by the distance between you and all you had yet to experience together.

“There’s plenty’a time fer that when ya get back,” he’d comforted you. “Don’t ya worry yer lil head about that.”

“Clyde?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Can I give you a new memory right now?”

He’d been surprised to see you’d switched over to facetime but had been quick to accept the call. You still think sometimes about the expression on his face when you’d popped on the screen topless and touching yourself already. It was the face of a man who’d been granted a glimpse at heaven but still wasn’t sure of his worthiness.

You intended to prove to him just how worthy he was.

“Get nice and comfy – I want to cum while watching you stroke that beautiful cock, handsome.”

Clyde’s smile had been a mile wide as he’d dropped down on his bed to oblige you.

“Yes ma’am.”

By the time New Years eve rolled around, the two of you had become experts of how to drive the other crazy, often with words alone.

~*~

In the present it’s close to midnight when you glance up from your book again to find Clyde grabbing your empty water glass and bringing it to the sink. He’d gotten caught up with a particularly needy group of out of towners who’d required more service than the average customer. You didn’t mind. It had given you a chance to watch him in action from afar, taking in his large frame as he moved behind the bar. The small smile as he listened – really listened – to his customers. Every once in a while he’d looked up to catch you staring, shooting you a wink from across the way. It always sent the butterflies in your stomach into a flurry when he did that, especially in the bar which had been the setting of his first fumbling advances toward you. His growing confidence was sexy and though you were feisty and more than capable of taking care of him, it burned you up inside even more to know he was able to take care of you, too.

“Grab yer stuff, darlin’, we’re headin’ out,” Clyde says coming out from around the bar. Your eyes shoot to your watch.

“But last call isn’t for a few more hours!” Even as you say it you notice Earl take his place behind the bar, sending a wave your way. Clyde helps you into your coat and pulls you to the door as he explains.

“Earl’s got me covered. No need for m’girl to hang ‘round a seedy bar all night.” You laugh because it’s a regular occurrence for you to spend your nights there with him, but you play along while he helps you into his truck.

“My Prince Charming,” you coo. Clyde gives you a little bow before jogging over to get into the driver’s seat. He starts up the truck and immediately turns on the heat, watching you with a smile as you appreciatively warm your hands against the vent. You catch him watching you and suddenly get suspicious, narrowing your eyes with humor. “What are you looking at, Charming?”

“The most beautiful girl in West Virginia,” he says without missing a beat before shaking his head. “No – in the world.”

You laugh. It’s the full-bodied sound that he loves with his whole being.

“Now that might just be a bit of an exaggeration, Mr. Logan, but I think I’ll take it anyway.” You lean over the truck’s center console expectantly. Clyde leans forward immediately to oblige you with a kiss. His lips are soft and taste of lemon, or maybe those are your own lips, but either way, it’s warm and tangy and everything you’ve been waiting for all these hours at the bar. You try to deepen the kiss and are surprised to feel him pull away, your head moving forward to chase his lips when he breaks the contact.

“We’ve got somewhere to be, darlin’. You’re gonna make us late,” he chides you playfully, throwing the truck into gear and pulling out onto the dark road.

“Where could we possibly need to be? It’s almost midnight,” you reply, surprised.

“Exactly,” he says with a wide smile.

~*~

Clyde won’t let you look out the window as he approaches your destination. You tease him because it is night time in rural West Virginia and it’s not like you would be able to see anything through the darkened windows anyway, but you humor him by keeping your eyes squeezed shut. When the truck cranks to a stop he jumps out and makes his way to help you out, pulling you down with his metal hand and covering your face with his massive, warm flesh one. His prosthetic presses into your waist to guide you forward and you grin, happy about the contact.

“Am I allowing you to lure me deep into the woods, Mr. Logan?” you sing out, hearing him chuckle behind you.

“I’d say yer right on the money, sweetheart.”

“Trying to have your way with me, are you? Is that what Prince Charming would do?”

“If he had a girl as pretty as m’girl he sure would, you bet yer ass.” His hand abandons your face for a second to drop light little slap to your backside and you let out a laughing squeal, sure to keep your eyes closed of your own accord.

“No peakin’,” he says, quickly putting his hand back over your eyes.

“I didn’t! I wouldn’t – I’m a good girl,” you say, know the implications of the statement. You hear Clyde swallow thickly behind you. Bingo.

“Ya sure are, darlin’.”

Just as you’re about to ask if you’ve almost arrived wherever he’s taking you, Clyde pulls you to a stop. You feel him lean down low to meet your height, his chin dipping to rest on your shoulder, both his facial hair and his breath tickling your ear and making you shiver.

“Open yer eyes.”

You do as he says and immediately let out a gasp. In front of you lies a picnic blanket set up with a comfy assortment of pillows. The space is illuminated by a mix and match assortment of camping lanterns which cast a soft glow about the scene. A basket of fruit and cheese sits open beside a bottle of champagne that sits chilling in an ice bucket with two delicate glasses.

“Clyde!” You turn and throw yourself at the satisfied looking man behind you, curling around his body and kissing every part of him you can reach. His watch beeps and he looks at it with a broad grin on his face.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.” He pulls you down to recline with him against the gathered pillows. You blink hard to hold back the tears that form unbidden.

“You planned all of this? For me?”

“Well I’ll be honest. Mellie and Jimmy helped,” he admits, running a hand up and down your back and pulling you into him to press a kiss to your forehead. “I had ‘em set all this up during my shift.”

It’s the most overtly romantic thing that anyone has ever done for you. You glance around and take in all of the details again, now with his warm skin under your fingers, his chest to your chest. It’s like something out of a romance novel, and you would know, you’ve sure read your fair share. Looking back down you see him watching you, registering each of your tiny reactions. He’s nervous, trying to make sure he’s pleased you. But he’s also hopeful. And that’s what breaks you.

Suddenly you launch yourself at him, pushing him down so that his back is pressed into the cushions and you are now straddling him. You pepper his face with kisses before arresting his mouth in a desperate lip lock. Though you are often the one who is chatty in the face of his pensive, thoughtful silence, you now find yourself at a loss for words. How do you tell him that you’re not used to being cared for in this way? How do you tell him that his sweetness sets your long-neglected soul on fire? That the string of meaningless relationships littering your past suddenly had meaning if only to lead you directly into his arms?

You don’t have the words to tell him these thoughts. So instead you tell him with your lips, your hands, your body. You run your hands down his t-shirt-clad chest, reveling in the thickness, the fullness of him, before drawing your hands down the length of his arms. You grab his wrists, sure to be gentle with his prosthetic, and urge them to settle above his head. It is only at this point that he resists, pulling out of a kiss.

“But darlin’…I need to touch you…” He’s breathless and you want to keep him like that forever. Keep his voice ragged and chest heaving so you can be his oxygen. Breathe life into him over and over.

“Let me do this, Clyde. My Valentine’s gift for my handsome man.” You grind down onto his hardening length at the end of your statement and his eyes roll back. When you feel him stop resisting the press of your hand on his wrists you know you’ve gotten him right where you want him.

You take your time. You kiss every inch of him over his clothes before crawling back on top to gyrate on his now straining member. His heavy breathing has made way for small, unabashed whimpers that are your new favorite sound. Clyde has been getting more dominant with you and you are excited to explore that new facet of your relationship. But for tonight you want to translate your emotions by riding him for all he’s worth.

After teasing him for long enough with your swiveling hips, you finally relent and pull his cock out of his dark jeans.

“Look at this beautiful cock. All hard and swollen just for me.” You double over to press a sweet kiss to his weeping tip.

“Only for m’girl,” Clyde nods feverishly below you. “Can ya…”

“What would you like, Clyde?” you ask, moving your hand steadily up and down his cock with languid strokes.

“Wanna be inside’a ya darlin’. Wanna feel if yer wet fer me.”

“Oh, baby…” you trail off and guide his cock to your pussy lips, your skirt long hiked up over your hips. You slide him up and down the seam of your opening, gathering your slick to coat him. He lets out a deep moan at the feeling. As you line him up you rake your nails over his soft belly with reverence. “You turn me on more than I’ve ever been turned on in my life.”

“Fuck,” comes Clyde’s muttered reply, his eyelids fluttering shut. You take this opportunity to lift up and then ease yourself down on him, letting his cock breach you with a slow ease. He’s large but you weren’t lying. You’re dripping for him, aching and desperate for the fullness that only he can provide you.

“Yer perfect. Feel so good,” Clyde forces out through clenched teeth.

You begin to ride him in earnest after you adjust more to his size, letting the muscles of your thighs propel you up and down to take him at an angle that causes you both to let out steady strings of moans. Clyde’s hips begin to work in tandem, thrusting up to meet you and making the slide of his cock through your pulsing walls that much more delicious. When a particularly good thrust topples you down to grip his shoulders, your breasts push down into his face, spilling from your bra cups and up through the wide neck of your shirt.

“Oh darlin’. Oh darlin’darlin’darlin’,” Clyde breathes out, straining his neck to push up into your cleavage. His flesh hand, which had up till now dutifully remained above his head, comes now to cup the side of your breast but you don’t have the presence of mind to reprimand him. You wouldn’t even if you did, his touch feels too good.

You gasp when he plants one foot flat on the ground for more leverage and spears up into you more aggressively than before. You shudder around him, cunt spasming on his cock with euphoric tension.

“Right there, baby?” he growls. He’s gazing up at you with a sweet intensity that you want to drink in forever, but the sensations in your cunt are overwhelming and it takes everything in you to simply nod. Your eyes screw up and your jaw drops, mouth forming a little “o” in response to another punishing thrust. Clyde chuckles below you. “Oh yeah. Right there.”

You cum shortly after but, as you had promised yourself silently the moment you had mounted him, you drag yourself down his body immediately, ignoring his groaning protests and gripping hand. When you take him in your mouth he’s already partially gone. He props himself up on his good elbow and alternates between gazing at you worshipfully and wincing in pleasure.

You suck on him, knowing how close he is and knowing he likes it when you get sloppy. He’d told you so over facetime on Christmas eve as you’d sucked on the fingers of one of your hands while riding and cumming on the other for him, your phone propped on the pillow. You gurgle as you take him deep into your throat, moaning around the fullness, the thickness of this perfect man below you. When you reach down to gently fondle his balls, Clyde lets out a deep-throated groan. His balls draw up from your hand and his hips pivot up, driving him deeper into you as he paints the inside of your throat with his cum. You welcome his orgasm, drinking him down until there’s no more, holding firmly at his hips as shudders wrack his body.

When you finally pull off to rock back on your heels you take in the sheer debauchery of this whole experience. Clyde lies sprawled out on the pillows below you, hand running through his sweaty hair, chest heaving, softening cock still poking out of his jeans. A giggle bubbles up from inside you and you let him pull you down where he silences you with a hard kiss as deep as the rumbling of his satisfied groan.

After a few seconds he rolls you so that you both are on your sides and he’s quick to bury his face in the space where your neck meets your shoulder. His customary place immediately following an act of intimacy. You’ve learned to recognize this and you don’t push him. Instead you welcome the tight clutch of this, the largest yet kindest man you’ve ever met, dragging your fingers up an down his cheek in a light caress. Moments pass in silence, save for your slowing breaths, until he speaks up, words muffled by the way he whispers them into your neck.

“Yer too good fer me, y’know.” He says it as a statement, not a question. There’s a weariness in his voice that doesn’t stem from how hard he’s just cum. Only now do you grip his jaw lightly, coaxing him from his hiding place against your flesh. You look him in the eyes, though he tries to avoid you. Instead you hold his gaze, finger swiping along his jaw. He sighs and adds. “I don’t deserve someone like you, darlin’.”

It’s your time to silence him with a kiss, but this time you don’t let actions do the talking. Clyde needed to hear you say the words that your clenching heart beats out, like some anatomical morse code. You grip his jaw tight and speak loud and clear.

“You deserve the world, Clyde.” His eyes melt, soft and full of adoration. You press a kiss to his forehead, one to each cheek, and then a chaste one on his lips before finishing. “And I’m going to give it to you.”

You may have spent the first three holidays of your relationship apart, but this Valentine’s Day you spent together in every way that mattered – mind, body, and soul.

~*~

Tagging some lovely friends (please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged in the future!): @noocturnalchild @thedivinemissn @insufferablelust @historyandfandoms50 @lostinthedrive @thewilddingleberries @edencherries @mariesackler @safarigirlsp @direnightshade @sacklerscumrag @paper-n-ashes @clydesfavoritegirl @wayward-rose @hopeamarsu @thegreenmatt @barbers-glimmerin-darlin @finn-ray-nal-beads @fizzywoohoo @maybe-your-left @aliveandlonely @han-not-solo @morby @emeraldsiren20 @maryforyou @aloneandsleepless @jynzandtonic @renmaulxo @millenialcatlady @leather-flannel-liquor @soggywhore @foxilayde @mylifeisactuallyamess

#anon #request #Clyde Logan x reader #Clyde Logan x you #Clyde Logan/reader #Clyde Logan/you #Clyde Logan smut #Logan Lucky fanfiction #Logan Lucky smut #cw: unprotected sex #tw: unprotected sex #smut #writing #Roanniom #Hello Darlin' fanfiction

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binniedeactivated · 3 years

Text

𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧. || 🌪💦 (1.5)

[ m.list ]

➦ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐏𝐎𝐂 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

➦ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐮

➦ 𝐖/𝐂 | 3k

➦ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 | 𝐈𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭'𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

➦ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | angst, smut

POC = person of color

yeonjun waited. he was trying to think of different ways he could address the situation but there was no other way he could think of, besides get angry. he didn’t want to get angry especially since what happened last time. he didn’t want myla or even daniel to hear them arguing and he especially didn’t want to wake up logan. but there was no way he was going to leave this situation unaddressed. he needed to say something even if it ruined them. he kisses a sleeping logan on his forehead, tucking him inside his crib and covering him with his fuzzy blanket to ensure warmth. like clockwork as soon as he turned off his light and shut the door behind him he could hear the front door downstairs opening, indicating that leah was home.

and just like always she took her shoes off at the door and went straight upstairs to the bedroom where yeonjun was. she didn’t say a word which always pissed yeonjun off. it didn’t seem like they were married anymore it seemed as though they were roommates and he hated that. especially when it seemed that way in front of the kids. he watched her go to the closet to undress and look for a change of clothes, ignoring the fact that yeonjun was sitting there waiting for her to speak. he was done waiting though. he was just going to take matters into his own hands. “so? is there something you want to tell me?”. he starts. she grabs a pair of sweatpants from her drawer. “what are you talking about yeonjun?”. he threw the condom wrapper to the middle of the bed for her to see. anxiety flooded her veins.”what is that?”. yeonjun shakes his head in disbelief. “don’t play stupid with me. whose condom is that? because it sure as hell isn’t mine”. leah swallows. “it isn’t mine either”. he tilts his head. “then whose is it? daniel’s? because he’s only in the fourth grade and he doesn’t have any money to buy it so stop being a fucking liar and just tell me the truth”.

“I’m telling you the truth. you need to calm down!”.

“don’t tell me what I need to do. you need to do a lot of things. you can start by just telling me that you’re fucking someone else. go ahead I’m a grown man I can take it”.

“oh please. nobody has time for this shit yeonjun. every time I walk in the house you find something new to argue with me about”.

“every time you walk in the house -- you mean every single night after everything is said and done? after I cook dinner, clean, do laundry, put the kids to bed here you come walking in the door like you’ve had the longest day ever I don’t even remember the last time you’ve even told your kids goodnight”.

“you’re the one that suggested I started working again remember? now you’re getting mad at my hours and how hard I work. it’s my job yeonjun”.

“so your job just cancels out you being a mom all together? your job is more important than being around?”.

she ignores him, getting into bed and angrily throwing the blanket over her shoulder while facing the opposite direction. “you know what yeonjun? if this is all we’re going to do then why don’t you just fucking divorce me. you’re obviously not pleased with anything I do”.

“and then what? raise our kids in two separate homes? going to court for custody battles and child support and all that crazy ass mess I’m not doing that. my kids don’t deserve that. we need to communicate”.

“how long have we been communicating yeonjun? it’s been like this for almost a year look where communicating has gotten us. it’s always something new to argue about”.

“because you’re a liar leah. and you don’t want to admit a damn thing. if you can start comfortably telling me about your feelings then there would be nothing to argue about. do you even want me? be honest”.

she adjusts the blankets over herself, shutting her eyes. “I’m going to sleep yeonjun”.

yeonjun rolls his eyes, flicking the condom wrapper off the bed. “of course you are. whenever I confront you it’s always the perfect time for you to sleep”. she continued to maintain her silence hoping he would be quiet somewhere in between. and eventually he did. she was free to drift off and think about things other than the failing marriage at hand.

adriana holds her index finger to her lips while her class was in a straight line at the door. well, sort of in a straight line. the line looked a little dysfunctional and out of place, which is why she was standing in front of them giving them the silent expression to calm them down. “guys. guys before we go anywhere we need to make sure we’re silent because there are other classes still working. if we’re too loud we might lose our chance to go to the book fair today”. upon hearing that, that threat was enough for the small children to rush and stand perfectly in line putting an imaginary zipper on their lips. while she guided them down the hallway to their music class myla began to dig her hands in her pockets, feeling nothing but space on it’s insides. her heart began to sink and her mind started to race. she could’ve sworn. she could’ve sworn she asked her father for money this morning. she reached her hand into her back pockets to check but felt her ears getting hot when she realized there was nothing in those either. upon the entry way to the music classroom myla approaches adriana with tears rimming her eyes in distress. “ms. A I don’t have my money!”. she pouts with trembling lips. “you mean for the book fair?”. myla nods her head, “I can’t find it I really want to buy books”. adriana grabs the nearby tissues at the door and began softly wiping her face, “don’t worry we’re going to the book fair later on today. I’ll call your dad to see if he can bring in some money for you alright?”. myla thanks her and gives her a small hug hoping that her father could give it to her on time. “hurry to class myla”. adriana encourages, leaving myla scurrying into the music classroom with a closing door.

by the time adriana arrives back inside her classroom she was startled a little at the sound of faint movement. she wasn’t expecting yeonjun to be there looking for her. he seemed quite annoyed with her the other day after the incident so she was kind of nervous to speak to him. all her nerves went away though once she locked eyes with him and he gave her a gentle smile. “hey I forgot to give myla her money this morning for the book fair. I know she’s probably freaking out over it”. adriana smiles a little, “i was just coming in here to call you about it. she was crying and everything. she’s going to be so happy when she finds out”. yeonjun hands her an envelope with cash and adriana takes it hesitantly, yearning to address something before he disappeared. “thank you. I’ll give it back to her once the kids get back from music class. and um-- yeonjun I want to apologize for the other day. with these kids there are new issues arising everyday and i try to relieve the situation as best as possible and for some reason I didn’t think about even calling you”. yeonjun nods. “it’s alright I just get a little anxious when stuff like that happens to them. I just want to be aware. if I came off a little rude I apologize about that”. the warm smile he held at the end of every sentence made adriana blush like she was sixteen again. her eyes were elsewhere when he approached her, lifting her chin up with his hand so he could see her beautiful face clearly. once their lips aligned there was no turning back from it.

with the doors locked and shutters down yeonjun lifts her onto the desk, encasing her in the sloppiest of kisses while her arms clung around his neck in need. it felt normal, the sex between them both became the norm in whatever relationship they established. adriana wasn’t as half as embarrassed as she was the first time. instead she didn’t mind showing just how much she needed and wanted yeonjun in that moment, allowing her hand to fall to the appendage of his jeans and unbuckles them as fast as she possibly could. something in his chest swelled when adriana wrapped her hands around his hardened length and stroked him to full arousal. his hand cupped the underside of her jawline while he kissed her, allowing his tongue to roam the inside of her hot mouth. it was something about hearing yeonjun groan that pooled moisture into her panties. his groans were husky and dark, filled with nothing but lust and need. each time one escaped his throat it was more elongated than the last. the vibrations of his mouth set her body aflutter, she dug her tongue into his mouth in response exchanging saliva and rutting her hips against his leg. his fingers swept along the front of her panties until he stuck his fingers behind the elastic of them, rubbing soft circles into the swollen organ at the apex of her thighs. she began to twitch at his touch, having it been awhile since she got touched by him and was now craving it more than ever before. it took nothing for his fingers to become sticky and slick with her arousal. now she had vibrations of her own meeting his and creating a harmony of moans that only the both of them would be able to comprehend. she twists her hand up and down his length simultaneously pumping him, he felt himself rocking his hips into her hand until he felt her gushing with slick. he wanted more. he gripped her moving wrist and put her movement to a halt, whispering in between kisses. “wait a minute. let me fill you”.

his voice was soft and sincere, he maintained his mindless kisses while he reached up her skirt and dragged her panties down her thighs and finally over her ankles onto the floor beneath them. he aligned himself with her hole, teasing the head of it along her sticky folds before he actually pushes himself in, sending a sharp whine sputtering from adriana’s throat. yeonjun closes his eyes swiftly at the warm feeling of her channel clenching around his length. he too, held his mouth open with chuffs of air escaping it. their eyes were fixated on each other’s refusing to let this moment of conjoining go to waste. staring into his eyes while he was pumping himself inside of her was like another way of appreciating him and assuring him that it all felt too good for her to handle, especially since she could barely get a sound out without becoming winded at the feeling. and staring into hers was like appreciating art in it’s purest form. her gorgeous face stunned and her arousal setting a fire ablaze in his belly. he curls his fingers over the edge of the desk for support, rocking his hips inside of her while her legs were wrapped around his waist. her lips were moving against his neck but they weren’t doing much since every time he moved she’d gasp and whine. he hastened his pace and it satisfied yeonjun really, to hear her cursing softly with her head swarmed in pleasure because of him. the more he drove into her the faster the knick knacks and objects on the desk rattled against one another, adding to the sinful sounds adriana was already making beneath him. the symphony of noises spurred him on wards, making him wanting to hear more of them.

he plunges deeper, without a care in the world for who could possibly hear. he hoped anyone nearby had enough noises going on in one ear to where they couldn’t hear the breathless moans and rocking desk in the other. his strokes were rapid and by now adriana was just trying to keep herself afloat in the midst of his aggression. each time his hips slammed into her she could’ve sworn she heard another object clash from the desk to the ground. she was too far in her blissful trance to care. his cold metal necklace swept across her chest while he leans down to soak up the noises she couldn’t contain. despite the speed of his thrusts his mouth was moving lethargically against hers, appreciating the softness of her lips and how lost they made him feel each time he touched them. her body alone was like a vacation to him. her eyes, her smile, her lips, her sex-- he didn’t have to worry about anything else coming to mind when she was around. her nails clawed into his shoulder blades as another stapler went crashing down on the floor beside them, probably now broken but none of that was adriana’s business at the moment. her body was trembling, a hot feeling surged through her veins and spread through the circumference of her neck making her convulse. her tiny moans and needy noises went directly into the curvature of his neck. it felt as though a star was bursting inside of her, an overwhelming sensation rippled through her body as the head of his length touched her spot over and over again until she was secreting down her thighs and his. “fuckkk”. yeonjun breathes winded, having to fuck through her gush of a mess so he could cum too.

adriana didn’t want to seem clingy while they were finally dressing themselves but in a way she felt closer to yeonjun. she wanted more of him and not just in a sexual way. after her last relationship she promised herself that she wouldn’t take chances with any men for a while but yeonjun seemed different. so different. only, she didn’t know how to strike a good enough conversation to indicate that she wanted to take things further. buckling his jeans and fixing his now wrinkled shirt yeonjun took a deep breath and spoke softly finally executing his thoughts. “adriana before I leave I want your number. if that’s alright with you”. before she felt herself get excited she calmed down thinking that maybe, this could be him using her as a booty call. she didn’t want to get her hopes up. “yes that’s fine, i don’t mind that”. she takes a pen and writes her digits down on a sticky note and hands it to him.

yeonjun takes another deep breath. “and um- my kids are spending the night with my parents on friday night. I was wondering if maybe--you were free you’d want to go out?”. adriana bites her lips and yeonjun could tell she was thinking. he quickly speaks up. “not to have sex or anything. unless that’s what you want but i guess I’m trying to ask you on a date? do you want to go on a date with me? it’s okay for you to say no. it’s no pressure I was just wondering”. adriana laughs at his nervousness. she thought she was the pathetic one for always getting nervous around him and now here he was, a fidgeting mess. “yes yeonjun. I’d love to go on a date with you”. he smiles. “wait really?”. she throws her arms in the air. “yeah why not? why are you so shocked?”. well, yeonjun realized it’s been a while since a real woman was actually into him. of course he didn’t want to admit that to adriana. he shook his head instead. “I don’t know I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to say yes. so maybe I can pick you up at your place at like 8 maybe? I can text you the details”. adriana chuckles at how awkward he was about it. “yes 8 is fine. you’re more than welcome to text me. now go to work yeonjun”. yeonjun laughs realizing he was making a fool out of himself. he turned to leave. “okay I’ll leave. I’ll text you”. adriana waves. “please do!”. if and only if, adriana’s door shutters weren’t up yeonjun probably would’ve done a happy dance in the hallway if he could.

#yeonjun #choi yeonjun #yeonjun smut #yeonjun fanfic #single father au #smut au

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achliegh · 3 years

Text

Golden

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 3:

Swim

What Hurts The Most

I Want Crazy

A month passed, Logan was alone. Finn hasn’t spoken to him since they left New Orleans, He texted an apology to Leo but it says it wasn’t even read, he has been avoiding certain people on the team because he knows they would interrogate him. The only thing that gave him any sort of relief from this crippling loneliness, he would watch the videos from the bonfire of Leo and Finn over and over and OVER! It had gotten to the point where that was the only way he could sleep.

He could only fall asleep to Finn’s laugh and Leo’s terrible yet sweet singing.

Adele had been paying attention to Logan, at first she would get annoyed and tell Logan to put on headphones or ask him to go to his room to watch them because he was falling asleep on the couch with his phone loudly playing the same.. Tiktok maybe? Adele didn’t know but she did get annoyed.

She stopped being annoyed when she found out what the videos actually were. One night she was downstairs watching her own show on the kids tv because her parents were catching up on the news upstairs. She didn’t want to turn the tv up too loud because the rest of the kids were asleep and she didn’t want to wake them. She could hear the music coming from Logan's room and she was not in the mood to listen to the same thing over and over again.

She walks over to his door and goes to knock but the door was open, she didn’t want to intrude but she was curious, so she poked her head in. She smiles a little, Logan is curled up on top of his covers, in sweats and a really big Saints t-shirt that she has never seen before. He was lying on his side, looking like he fell asleep while watching those videos again.

She walks over as quietly as she can to click the phone off and she sees the video. It’s one where Logan is being spun around while being held by a tall blonde guy. Logan was glowing. He was so happy. Adele continued to watch, Logan was set down by the man and he wrapped his arms around Logan's neck and bounced to the beat. It was really cute… but there was another video that she heard more often, now that she was here she might as well snoop. She swiped to the left and the familiar sound of that man's sloppy singing punctured her ears. There was someone else in this video… Finn.

Adele always noticed the tension around Logan and Finn, pretty much everyone did, but this just confirmed in her mind that they were, something together. Finn was sitting on the tailgate of a truck and the man from earlier was singing a song about loving country boys. Which made her cringe. But Finn hugged the man's face to his own and they were cheek to cheek as they looked at the camera and the man sang to it. Finn also looks happier than she has ever seen.

Adele Leaves the room with the videos playing, obviously Logan needs them. She went to bed that night putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Logan was known for pushing people away, would he do that to her if she asks about the man?

The next morning Logan came upstairs for breakfast in a different shirt but the same pants, she took mental note of that. Logan was always the last one at the kitchen table in the morning because he's a slow eater, so she waited until everyone else was gone to ask.

“What are those videos you always watch?” She starts innocent, watching all those crime shows has trained her for this. Logan froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. The milk drips back into the bowl. She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow, snapping Logan out of his mini panic.

“They are just… friends.” Logan looks like he doesn't even believe himself and Adele stays quiet as if waiting for him to continue. “Just people I miss.”

“Why don’t you talk to them?” Logan sets the spoon in the bowl and signs running his hands through his sleep hair. He looks to make sure Celeste and Dumo don’t see him resting his elbows on the table, resting his face in his hands.

“It’s not that simple Adele. I messed up.”

“Did you say sorry?”

“To one, but they didn’t even read it…”

“The other?” Silence fell between them, she sipped her fruit juice as she waited for Logan to answer.

“They are avoiding me… I see them everyday but it feels like I’m a ghost.” He looks up to an unimpressed preteen and sighs, he shouldn’t be venting to her. It does give him the motivation to want to talk to Finn though. They sit in silence for a few moments longer, a small thanks and Adele going to wash their dishes as Logan goes to shower.

Finn wasn’t expecting a knock on the door, he was just cleaning the apartment with music out of the Bluetooth speaker. Luckily, the knock came when he had paused the music to change the song. Before starting the music again he opens the door, a fluttery feeling in his stomach makes him have a sour taste in his mouth.

Logan.

Logan just being beautiful, his eyes were that sweet pea green that melts Finn's heart, his hair was damp but soft from a shower. He looks up at him and he looks scared, and small. Not something Finn is used to. Instead of letting Logan in right away like he normally would, Finn leans against the door frame, arms crossing over his bare chest. Not saying anything.

Logan about lost his nerve to be here, Finn had that stupid black headband on keeping his hair out of his face. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, his creamy skin scattered in freckles at Logan itched to touch. His shorts hung low on his hips and he tried not to stare. Keeping his eyes glued to the copper ones staring him down. He swallows his nerves.

“Can we talk?” His voice was small, slightly shaky, Finn knew he couldn’t resist. Moving to gesture into the apartment. Logan walks in, taking his shoes off and leaving them by the door. He stands around awkwardly while Finn sits on the couch. “Finn, I'm sorry! I-I don’t know why I said those things to-... to him.”

“You can’t even say his name Logan.” Finn spoke calmly but it wasn’t because he felt that way, it was because he was tired of this. Tired of fighting. “I would believe you if you could say his name and not have his look of guilt in your eyes that you couldn’t give him! Leo didn’t deserve that! Even if you didn’t want to be with him, you ruined it for BOTH of us! I would have liked to stay with him, I would have liked to have a relationship with him but I’m- I’m so stuck on you! I’m stuck on you so I can’t go against you, I can’t leave you behind because it will kill me!” He lost his calm and stood up walking into the kitchen to his phone. “I don’t even want to have this conversation because I know you don’t feel how I feel… and I don't blame you for not feeling what I do but can’t you let me go.” Logan followed him into the kitchen and stands there shocked at what Finn had said.

“Stuck on me… You don’t think I'm stuck on you? Finn! I am just as stuck on you! Why do you think I always come back to YOU!” ( Swim) Finn rolls his eyes and picks a song before walking off back towards the living room. Logan grabs him and traps him against the wall, a hand on either side of his torso, his forehead to his bare chest.

Cool hair against warm skin.

“Please just listen to me!” Logan looks Finn in the eyes as the green becomes clouded with tears that he refused to let fall, angry with himself he finally lets everything out. “I feel terrible, I texted Leo and got no reply. I've been giving you space, even when I wanted you, when I wanted to touch you, when I wanted you to hold me. I wanted… Leo too. I’ve been watching the videos from the bonfire to sleep, I’ve been sleeping in the shirt from Leo that I found in my bag… it smells like him. God I fucking miss you so much. You’re right in front of me but… Something keeps stopping me. It's like a barrier that I can't break through unless I’m with you. Why do you let me come back to you…”

Finn feels himself being pulled into Logan's gravity, cupping his cheek he feels Logan’s hands move to his waist and grip like if he lets go Finn will disappear.

“I love you! That's why…” Right before their lips touch a smile forms on the other.

“I love you too.” Their lips crash together, Logan pulls Finn’s body so close to his own that there is no space for Jesus. The kisses are passionate, Finn’s hands wind into Logan’s hairs gripping tightly not letting him pull away until they can’t breath. Finn bites Logan’s bottom lip, suddenly Finn’s anger comes flooding back, everything shitty Logan had ever said to him, and what he said to Leo repeated in his mind. Grabbing Logan's wrists he flips them on the wall, pinning Logan's hands beside his head, and shoving his thigh between Logan's and pressing into him, drawing a surprised whine from the shorter man who is flexing his hands.

Aggressively kissing, nipping and sucking on Logan's lips and neck made him an absolute mess, eventually Finn pulls away and shoves Logan toward his bedroom. Logan walks backwards still facing Finn as he takes off his shirt and drops his gym shorts. His legs hit the bed and he falls backwards onto the soft duvet. Finn reaches him for him and tugs his underwear off of Logan, reaching for the lube on the bedside table. He leans down and nips at Logan’s jaw.

“Hands and knees.” Logan moves quickly after Finn moves away to take his own shorts off but forgetting about his headband, putting some lube on his fingers Finn moves behind Logan and reaches down to begin to prep him, but feels him already stretched. Finn gives Logan a confused look for a second when he catches Logan looking back. A shy smirk forms on his face.

“Shower, I was hopeful.” Finn lets out a breath and uses the lube on his hand to slick himself up and slide into Logan in one solid thrust. Pushing Logan’s back so his chest was to the bed, moving his hand to his wildly curling hair and pushing Logan’s face into the bed as he starts thrusting into Logan, hard but shallow just barely grazing Logan’s sweet spot.

Logan was always quiet loud when they fucked but he got much louder when he was being manhandled and praised. Finn was whispering sweet praises that contradicted his aggressive thrusts.

Lo felt like he was going insane, he felt his insides start to coil as he was getting pounded into the mattress. Gripping the sheets he feels Finn shift and start drilling into his sweet spot and Logan can’t help but scream in pleasure, tears pricking his eyes, the hand gripping his hair tightens and pushes his face further into the mattress. Minutes later Logan breaks harder than he has for a long time, Finn following not long after.

Finn holds Logan close as he pulls out, laying on their sides he feels Logan squirming, pushing his ass back into Finn. He smiles and kisses the top of his head, running a soothing hand up and down his side as his other hand is on Logan’s pounding heart. Logan’s hands gripping his.

“Closer.” His voice is raspy and small but Finn doesn’t hesitate to completely wrap his arms around Logan and hold him tightly, helping his brain come back online. They Lay like that for a while, Finn was busy thinking about getting them cleaned up and maybe even asking a very important question. He barely caught Logan’s soft tired voice.

“I love you” Logan wiggles in Finn’s arms to face him and kisses his nose. Logan looked sweet with the red side of his face on full display and the dried tear streaks and puffy lips just made Finn’s heart skip a beat. Logan's smile suddenly fades away and he cups Finn’s neck. “Can we… be together like a couple?”

“I was going to ask you.” The smile that grows on his face makes his cheeks hurt. He starts peppering his BOYFRIENDS face in kisses and revealing in his sleepy laugh that is rarely heard.

He was on top of the world.

Leo’s back was resting against the large Weeping Willow that provides shade over the pond behind the barn. He’s been spending a lot of time here. It is one of the only places Leo can talk to his dad, because the tree is him. He always got this feeling that on the other side of the trunk sat Wyatt, listening to Leo’s problems and giving advice. Really it was just Leo but… he can hope right. Ever since the boys left he has come to sit out here and think about everything he did wrong to cause them to leave like that.

He rested his head back on the trunk as the music from his headphones made him feel worse, What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts was just not the happiest. It really hit too close to home, but that's how his life seems to be going right now. Clayton and Ashley had broken up after she got him arrested when SHE threw a lamp at his head. Clay now sports a scar from the center of his forehead across his left eye to the top of his cheek.

Speaking of the idiot, Clay sits down next to him and rests his head on Leo’s shoulder.

“How's the face? Still ugly?” Leo smiles a little when Clay smacks his stomach.

“Itchy, the stitches being taken out are nice but now I look like a pirate.” He sits up. “Have you found your phone yet?” Clay knows Leo’s phone is still on the floor of his truck but Leo claims he can’t find it because he doesn’t want to be reminded of the boys. Clayton was actually stealing Finn’s number from the phone so that he can give him a call and give him a piece of his mind.

“Nope! And I refuse to look for it… Why do I miss them so much? I knew them for a week and it's been months since they left! I feel pathetic.” Leo sighs annoyed and unplugged his earphones from his iPod and shoves them in his pocket. “I feel stupid, they are in my head all the time and I don’t even know their middle names, or favorite colors, or favorite foods. I know nothing about them but I want to…” he pulls some grass out of the ground and is glaring down at his lap.

“Do you want to see them again? Like go to a game?” Clay has mentioned this a couple of times and Leo never gives a solid answer, but this time he did.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

A few weeks later they were stepping off the plane in Gryffindor, they had a couple of hours before the game and decided to take their bags to the air bnb. They only had back packs because they were staying for two days before going back home. Might as well make a whole trip out of this.

When they got there, there were a couple of boxes on the table as requested, anything can be done with money. Clayton got to opening the boxes, pulling out two jerseys, two pairs of sweatpants, two hats, two pairs of socks and two pairs of bright white new Adidas shoes. Leo’s clothes were bigger than Clays so it was easy to separate them. They brought their own plain sweatshirts, Leo’s is Black and Claytons is white.

They googled what people wear to hockey games and that's what they got.

Leo was getting nervous, he brushed his teeth twice after a shot of vodka, he started pacing until Clay made him stop and take a nap before they left. Once they were in the arena and found their spots behind the Lions goalie a couple rows up. Leo had his hat on forwards worried that someone would recognize him he had his glasses on as well. They were thin wired and square but he hoped it was enough.

He felt like superman.

The team came out for warm up and Leo couldn’t take his eyes off Logan, skating with a brutal beauty that took his breath away, practicing hitting the puck around. Leo knows no hockey terms so this will be interesting. Suddenly a blur skated next to Logan and skated around him as they talked. Finn, lean and gorgeous.

Leo was fucked.

“I need a drink.”

“Nope! No alcohol you have to process these feelings you dumbass.” Clayton was watching someone skate around with a look that Leo knows. He wanted someone.

“Who is it?” Looking down to the rink Leo tries to follow Claytons eyes and find out who he wants. “43?! You mean the jersey you got!” Leo can’t help but crack up at Clay's red cheeks, already feeling more relaxed now that he wasn’t the only one with his eyes on someone.

The game started and they were… lost. They couldn’t keep up with the puck and they didn’t understand the shift changes. The goalie was on FIRE though! He was so good, and Finn was so fucking fast. Logan scored two goals in the first half and Leo couldn’t help but stand with the crowd and cheer.

“You know, you could probably put a dildo on the ice and it would move the same as the disc, wait it's called a puck! The puck.” Leo smiles as Clay and a couple people around them laughed. A few other jokes were cracked before something stops the game.

A fight? They are allowed to fight!? Maybe Leo should watch hockey.

It was Logan in a fight, Leo watched completely entranced. Logan was pure anger and passion, he threw his gloves off and punched a man with long almost white hair. Leo took a drink of water to get the cotton out of his mouth. Logan gets punched back right in the face, but he jumps on the man and hits him again before Finn and number 12 pull him off. Logan's eyes were bright with adrenaline, but Leo only knew that… because Logan spotted him, when Logan blinked Leo sat back down hoping the crowd standing would hide him. His face was bright red and he forgot how to breathe for a moment.

43 was on the ice so Clayton wasn’t paying attention to him, Leo didn’t know if he could handle getting made fun of right now. His heart was beating out of his chest.

He had to talk to them.

After the game, they won by the way, Clayton and Leo were walking out of the rink to the hall when someone grabbed their arms. Looking at the hands on their arms they looked at who they were attached to.

James Potter.

“Nope, this way.” He drags them towards the locker room doors. “Wait here.” He spoke in that way dads do that just to make you listen so Clay and Leo stayed there. The team that lost started walking by and someone grabbed Leo’s ass and spit a racist word at Clayton, confusing the hell out of both of them. Leo noticed the hair and the bandage on his nose and knew that was the guy Logan beat up. He was gone before they could retaliate.

“Okay, I get that you have a temper but if getting into a fight every game necessary! The bruise on your cheek just healed Logan!” Finn was complaining as he examined Logan's face by cupping his chin and moving his head around. The entire team felt the shift when Finn and Logan officially became an item but something was still missing. Especially when country music came on, they would pine and gush about Leo and it drove everyone crazy. Logan was just letting Finn look at him while his own face had the sappiest look on it.

James came back in the room and ushered everyone into the showers because he had a victory surprise. They hoped it wasn’t clowns this time after Kuny almost punched one. Everyone did as they were told and went to shower.

Once they got the signal, Clayton and Leo came into the locker room. Leo was forcefully sat down in a stall with the number 10 on it and Clayton was left to watch by the door. He was getting nervous.

Finn and Logan were hand in hand when they turned the corner twenty minutes later. Finn stopped in his tracks when he saw Leo, in a jersey with a black hoodie on under it, black sweats, red socks, black backwards hat, and not cowboy boots. Logan runs into his back and sighs, looking around Finn to see what stopped him. He drops Finn’s hand and starts walking towards Leo.

“Leo?!” The blonde stands and Logan launches himself into his arms and Leo catches him with no problem. He pulls away a little and cups his face. “Is this real? Are you real?” He pats Leo’s face a bunch and makes Leo laugh.

“Yes, I’m real.” He smiles and sets Logan down, turning towards Finn who still hasn’t moved. He nervously opens his arms to Finn and that gets him to move. Finn walks forward into Leo’s arms and wraps his arms around his waist tightly. Leo hugs him just as tight, pulling away a little and catching Finn’s lips with his own. It was sweet and relaxed.

Once they pull away Logan grabs his face and gives him a kiss as well that was fiery and needy, very Logan. They pull away and smile sickly sweet at each other, hearing a cheer around the locker room they notice everyone else has entered and is whooping for them.

“Nice jersey” Sirius pats Leo on the back and laughs.

That's when Finn and Logan realize Leo is wearing Sirius’ jersey.

“LEO! What the hell!”

“You expect me to choose! This one was the most popular so I got it.” He crosses his arms like a stubborn child and looks around for Clayton to see him trying to flirt with 43 but he's so oblivious that he doesn’t notice. He smiles and looks back at h-the boys. The boys, yeah. “Clay and I are going to wait outside for y’all. Okay?” He gives them each a short hot kiss and starts to walk away from Clay to the door.

Finn and Logan are still standing there in a daze after he leaves, then the fact that they can take him to Finn’s and do as they please! They share a look and then rush to get dressed as a few of the guys laugh at them.

“Huh, he doesn’t look as hick as I thought he would.” Dumo casually spoke as he pulled his sweats on.

“That was your Leo! No wonder you guys have been stuck on him! Fucking makes me question my own sexuality!” Kasey butted in.

Talker was suspiciously quiet.

They were suddenly at a bar. Clayton was chatting with a couple of girls and their boyfriends just being friendly, every once in a while he would send an annoyed glance to Logan. Who had glued himself to Leo, Finn wasn’t any better. Leo was in the middle of ordering a drink when the Bartender slipped her number under his drink and winked before tossing her hair and walking away.

“Are we not obvious enough?” Finn looks at Logan as Leo laughs while taking a drink. “Maybe we should make it reeeaaallly obvious that you’re taken. Hmm?” Finn slips his hand under Leo’s sweatshirt on his back and feels Logan’s hand there too. Glad they were on the same page.

Leo said goodbye to Clayton, promising that if anything went wrong that he would call. Clay made him promise to carry his phone around during this trip. Clayton gave one last dirty look to Logan and nodded Leo off. Leo skipped back over smiling wide. They get a taxi to Finn's. Leo is in the taxi first sitting normal, smiling at the taxi driver. Finn and Logan topple in, Finn’s head lands in Leo’s lap and Logan is on top of him and leans back to slam the door closed. Laughing a little Logan feels his stomach do a hot twist as he sees the other two making out, he bites his lip after telling the taxi driver the address.

He scoots up Finn’s body and leans to suck a bruise onto Leo’s neck, pulling a groan from the blonde, causing the other two to smirk. Leo pulls away from Finn, Logan swoops in and kisses Finn while Leo catches his breath. They pull up to the apartment and stumble into the elevator. Leo presses Logan into the wall and kisses him, shoving his tongue in his mouth. Logan grips his sweatshirt, feeling Finn press against Leo’s back sandwiching him between them. Finn starts to add a couple of love bites of his own to Leo.

The elevator opens and there is a woman in the door, Leo pulls away and laughs at the face she makes, the other two laugh as well, dragging Leo out towards the apartment door. Once inside they take a moment to arrange the furniture into how Leo wants. Aka turning the living room into a bed.

“Okay what's the plan for tonight!” Logan is sitting on the sofa, Finn and Leo are on the ground facing him. All butt-ass naked.

“I have an idea!” Leo smiles and gets on his knees between Logan's legs. “How about I suck you off and Finn fucks me?” The innocent smile that Leo flashes Logan should be illegal.

“As if I’m gonna say no to that.” Logan looks back at Finn over Leo and sees him mapping out all of Leo’s ink. Finn’s got a thing for ink. “Finn definitely won’t either.”

Finn preps Leo as he rests his head on Logan's thigh, until he's ready.

“Logan, Finn, there is kinda something I really really want you to do… Finn,” He turns around to look at him. “I want you to causally scratch me, bruise my hips with how hard you hold me… you know, be rough.” Turning back to Logan and wrapping his arms under his thighs, placing them over his shoulders, and gripping his hips. “I want you to push my head down, and don’t be afraid to pull my hair.” he winks at Lo and doesn’t even pause to take him fully down his throat.

“Fuck!” Logan grips his hair tightly and arches his back, toes curling as Leo begins to suck. Finn swallows and grips Leo’s hips as he slides in nice and easy. Logan see’s Leo’s eyebrows furrow and loosens his grip on his hair. Leo grabs his hand and puts it on the back of his head, adding pressure. Logan gets the idea and pushes him down, Leo’s moans around Logan as Finn starts to move at a steady pace. Leo keeps pleasuring Logan and moves one of his hands to grab Finn’s hip to pull him in harder.

Finn grips his hips harder and starts to go to town, pounding into Leo hard and deep, Logan was getting close to finishing and Finn could tell just by looking at him. His eyes were glassy, the grip on Leo’s hair was unforgiving, his face and chest were flushed red, every once in a while his eyes would roll back in his head and lose his voice. Moaning loud enough they will probably Finn will probably get another noise complaint from his neighbor who hates him.

Leo was feeling great, the pain was sending shocks of pleasure down his spine, the fact that Logan gets so close and then he stops sucking to bring him back from the edge. Finn has fingerprinted himself to Leo’s waist and Leo is so so close.

Suddenly Logan breaks, Leo smiles and swallows, having Logan ride out his orgasm. Leo keeps going. Finn hits Leo’s prostate dead on and both their orgasms take them by surprise. Finn pulls out and Leo pulls away wiping his mouth on his arm. After a clean up and a new blanket. They all lay together with stupid smiles on their face. Leo fell asleep being pressed between… the boys. Logan in front of him. Finn behind him. Absolutely covered in hickey's, so everyone knew Leo was taken.

The next morning was bright. Logan woke first, which was weird because Leo is almost always up before them. He’s not complaining. The sun is shining just perfectly from the large windows in the living room. The light was hitting Leo’s back making him glow. A large tattoo on his back caught Logan's attention. Logan climbed on Leo and sat on his back straddling him. He started tracing the lines. It was large, the only large one Logan could see right now. In the center of his back was a small shield with wings coming out of it, Logan had never seen that before, it was surrounded by flowers. Some he recognized, the marigolds he knew because his Maman told him they were spirit guides, he also recognized the honey suckle from when Leo took them out to the lake.

Leo was covered in tattoos like a sketchbook. Lots of weird quotes and little animals. There was a sloth in a teacup above his elbow. A couple of frogs with mushrooms around them on his biceps. The words “Cowgirls don’t cry” on his forearm. Logan climbed off Leo and glancing down at his body he noticed some interesting ones.

On his left upper booty cheek there was a micro tattoo of a croc… like the shoe, on his right upper booty cheek there was another croc… but the animal. Blinking a couple times he looks a little lower and notices a skeleton hand that looks like it five-starred Leo's ass and he can’t help but burst out laughing. Waking the other two up he was still laughing.

“What?” Leo blinks sleepily at him and drags him over by his waist to snuggle him. Finn yawns and stretches, sniffling sitting up.

“Why are we laughing? Is Leo funny or something?” Finn drapes himself over Leo’s side and smiles at Logan.

“He has the best tattoos. The skeleton hand is what got me.” Logan smiles and kisses Leo's forehead and then Finn’s. “What is the one on your back?” Leo hums in acknowledgement.

“It’s the airforce pilot wings for my dad and then a bunch of my mom's favorite flowers. Marigolds, which is the nickname she calls me, honeysuckle, bluebells, golden trumpet flowers and daffodils. It’s her favorite tattoo of mine besides my bologna one.” He smiles at them, and his stomach makes sure they know it exists by grumbling. “Alright, let's make some breakfast!” He stands up and grabs his sweatpants tugging them on and makes his way to the kitchen. “Wow, either you really like to clean or you don’t cook.”

“I don’t cook, I have no idea how too.” Finn and Logan follow him into the kitchen in their boxers.

“If you don’t cook then who buys all the ingredients?”

“My mom made me.” Leo narrows his eyes at the bag of flour before he realizes he doesn't have his glasses on. Annoyed, he goes and grabs them from the coffee table and begins making pancakes. He asks Finn to turn on some music and I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes comes on. It’s a cringey song but fits them perfectly.

“Will you cook some bacon?” Logan is rummaging around in the fridge and just happens to find some turkey bacon, checking the date he sees it's still good.

“Nope!” Leo flips a pancake while humming and looks at the other two.

“Why not?” Finn pouts a little.

“Because I’m vegetarian and I don’t want to.”

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #james potter #thomas walker #Clayton Bruss #o'knutzy #o’knutzy #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast

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fluffglass · 3 years

Text

Imagines - Dating Logan Lee 11

I'm back with the part 2 and @shady-swan-jones ❤️ is the beautiful soul who gave me ideas for this one. Thanks. Please continue to read my works and keep suggesting me ideas. 😊

I would suggest you to listen to 'kiss me more' by Doja Cat ft.SZA while reading.❤️

Category - fluff, smut.

People are suspicious of Logan everytime they see him. You always want to laugh at them because if they see what you were looking at right now, they would be disoriented and wouldn't believe their own eyes. And right now all you are looking at is the perfect Logan Lee struggling to make breakfast who looks pretty much a meal himself. You chuckled in a low voice so that he wouldn't hear, you didn't want to discourage him. After all, he wanted to impress you with his cooking and you really wanted to try it. You looked at him with satisfaction, his hair was all over the place, eyes just noticing the sun now, dark grey sweatshirt hugging him from his sleep, hands looking so beautiful, you could hold all day, even his face with the aggression looked so adorable you would have to control yourself to not hold his face with your hands and kiss them. Although you liked watching him working, you were becoming impatient with the going time so you tiptoed to the kitchen and sweetly asked,' do you need help?', to which he replied,' no....uhm......I'm fine actually', in a not so confident voice which was not Logan-like, you could see in his eyes. You were a few years older than him and he loved your caring and responsible nature. You didn't want to interrupt but you didn't want Logan to brawl with the recipe.

So you walked behind him and began instructing him while giving him a back hug, holding him, trying to kiss him till he starts laughing.

'Stop, the food is ready! '.

'I don't want to, I can eat you instead'.

'You've become quite brazen, haven't you?'.

'The only one thing Mr. Logan Lee can do except cooking'.

He would be lost in words with questioning eyes, you would start chuckling with yours sparkling like stars. He would lose to you every time if he could see your smile. He held your face with his right palm on your left cheek, fingers in your hair, thumb grazing your ear, your cheeks were getting slightly warm, same action with his left hand. Then he tilted his head, closed his eyes, you did the same, touching your lips with his, in a way reminding you of the dark chocolate you eat slowly to treasure it for a long time. Softly, taking time to feel and memorize each other's lips, kissing till you you took breaks to whisper things you wouldn't say to each other on daily basis.

'I love you Logan'.

'I you you more y/n'.

You tucked on his sweatshirt from back. Giggling at each other and continuing to smolder his lips when he slowly licked your lips in a making you lose your senses, leaving you yearning for more. You let him enter your mouth with his smooth actions, reciprocated with your own. You were becoming hungrier for Logan's kisses with the passing time, you could feel the dampness down and were figuring out if he was feeling the same. The room was never this quiet, all you both could hear were the noises of your lips dancing together. This was making you blush red as this is the first time you don't want to talk but keep feeling this euphoria. Logan was also unexpectedly quiet, his hands were doing the talking, touching you in places you could end up throwing yourself on him.

But good things take time and this wasn't a good time. Because Logan's phone just rang reminding you of the time and how were actually going to be late for work. Both of you stopped and looked at different directions looking like cherry tomatoes. You got up to get ready, he looked doe eyed at you walking away. While Logan was talking on the phone you got ready, then walked towards the door when he came running and called. 'Y/n!', you looked behind when he just came and hugged you tightly for few seconds, then he said,

'Are you free this evening? '.

'Yes '.

'I'm coming to you then '.

'Okay, I'll call you'.

'Bye y/n'.

In a needy voice where he didn't want to let you go.

'Bye Love'.

He smiled. You smiled.

You entered your workplace looking like a boomerang fitted in your mouth. People who are looking at you are puzzled at your reason for this beaming happiness.

This boy is such a gentleman, you can't even hate him properly. One of the things you love him for. You thought about how just a few months ago you thought Logan would be this rude rich dude and now you look at this soft furball you wanna cuddle and kiss all night. He was constantly growing on you.

Here you were having sweetest dreams about him and on the other side Logan was getting anxious with the going second, about how he should have pulled you for a hug or a peck or a smooch, how he should have talked to you more, how he should make it right, how much he fears to lose you. He was turning shy by each time you were becoming bold. He was smirking with the thought that he would go crazy in love with you. And he didn't want to be the only one left amazed, he was planning to go all the way to thunderbolt you with his feelings.

So he was going to finish what started this morning. He texted you,

'Did you have lunch?'.

'Yes, I did. What about you 😘?'.

'I did, but I was missing you'.

You smiled reading the message.

'I miss you too'.

He blushed.

'How about we meet at 5pm ?'

You look at your phone smirking and type,

'Okay, I'll be waiting for you in the lobby.'

'You won't have to wait, I will reach you before it'.

You were trying to hide your smile in case someone saw you, but Logan was making it so hard for you, you were imagining him in your daydreams.

You finished your work before 5pm, arranged your belongings, looked at your mirror if your hair was alright, retouched your makeup and took the elevator to the lobby. You reached in a few seconds and kept walking but could not see him. You thought he might be on his way so you called,

'Logan, I'm h....'. He cut you mid sentence and said,' On your left, y/n'. You looked at the direction, lost for words as what you saw at that moment startled you to the core. If angels exist they might be looking like Logan was what was going through your head. Or you could say that he was your prince whose princess you wanted to be forever.

Logan wore a bright yellow coat and you were sure of the fact that no one can pull off. The smooth colour looks like it is hugging Logan's body in a way making him look so tempting to eyes. You can't even think of someone who would look good in yellow. His hair colour perfectly complementing his coat like frosting on a cupcake. And his blue scarf with white design went along with the coat perfectly. Logan has a scarf for every occasion. Scarfs make him look very sophisticated, unique, no man can compare.

You smiled at him. He smiled at you. You both kept your phones in your pocket. Standing opposite each other as if time had stopped, looking at each other's eyes trying to read the feelings you hold for the other. He was fighting his urges to not hold you tightly against his chest. You wanted to pull him and kiss him then and there till your lipstick comes off.

He was standing with a bouquet in left hand and waving with his right hand smiling. You walked towards him in a normal pace with a smile and upon reaching to him, you pull him for a peck on lips taking him by surprise, making his eyes widen, increasing his heartbeat, make his cheeks warm, shy, making him forget what he wanted to tell you but he retreated by giving you a smirk.

'You look breathtaking'.

'Less than you'.

'Being modest aren't you?'.

In the end both of you chuckled and you took his hand, fingers entangled, walking outside till he remembers the flowers in his left hand and gives you. Taking it you say,

'The smell is so soothing, I love these so much'.

'And I love you y/n'.

Sudden confessions like these make you lose your composure. And he loves that.

He takes your hand in his hand making a boxy smile to a restaurant he booked for dinner.

After dinner you slowly walk to a nearby park watching the trees, flowers, leaves, water and his eyes. Being quiet like this beside him felt so intimate and secure. Looking at him while walking so closely, talking about each other's day, occasionally giggling is something you want to do everyday. Your Haven.

'Y/n?'.

'Hm'. You looked with doe eyes.

'The moon is beautiful, isn't it?'. He says it in a playful tone.

'Yes it is'. You said smiling.

At the next second slowly,he came closer to you, looking at your lips giving a peck, holding your face with his hands, closing his eyes, in return you closed your eyes as well,putting your arms around him, pecks turning into soft nibbles, nibbles turning into long kisses. All happening so slowly you could feel every movement, you kissed him back to make him feel the same tingling feeling you were getting.

Logan would talk in between to regain his breath,

'You will make me go crazy'.

'I'm already one'.

You would continue kissing till you felt burning from head to toe. He felt so fiery, passion was filling his body.

'Y/n, I think we need to go home to continue this'.

In a bold voice where he was ready to feast on you.

'I think so too, let's go I can't control myself anymore'.

He smiled and took your hand.

The End.

#obsessed with logan lee #logan lee imagines #logan lee #park eun seok #park eun seok imagines #the penthouse: war in life

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onlydreamofmysoul · 3 years

Text

Rules (Ficmas #9)

Hey guys! So today is the Winter Solstice (Side note; ‘solstice’ is one of my favourite words, I just love it so much) Anyways tonight there’s the conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter which basically means they’re overlapping which makes them look like one really bright star. Which made me think about stars, which lead me to here. Welcome to fluffy zone my dudes.

Characters and their world by @lumosinlove

“Hey guys, did you hear about the meteor shower tonight?” James asked, peering over at Sirius and Remus.

“Yeah! We were gonna drive out a little bit and go watch it.” Remus said, lacing up his skates. “Do you want to come?”

James’ reply was muffled as he put on his jersey. “Yeah sounds good, we were all gonna go anyways so we might as well go together.”

Finn poked his head around, naked from the waist up. “Are you talking about the meteor shower?”

“Oui.” Sirius nodded, taping his socks. “You coming?”

Finn grinned. “Hey Nutter Butter!” He yelled across the locker room. “You get to see the stars tonight!”

Leo’s resulting smile was blinding, especially when Logan kissed him on the cheek on his way to the PT room.

“Anyone else coming?” Remus asked, tall in his skates, the first ready as always. “We could make a thing of it, bring hot chocolate and blankets.”

“Aren’t you supposed to tell us not to drink hot chocolate rookie?” Talker chirped. “PT Remus really has died.”

“Hey!” Remus protested, smacking the underside of Thomas’ head while the other man just laughed. “I get to be the one to make my PT cry when they hear what we’ve been eating, not the other way around.”

“Yeah Walkie.” Sirius said in defence, wrapping an arm casually around Remus’ waist. “Let the man pretend he can break the rules in peace.”

“I can break the rules!” Remus claimed, leaning away from Sirius as he tried to make his point.

“Oh really? What did we have for dinner last night?”

Remus frowned. “Brown rice and chicken but that’s just because it’s what we had in the house.”

“Who buys brown rice voluntarily?” Thomas cried and Sirius pointed at him in victory.

“Exactly! I’m sorry Remus, I love you but you can’t break the rules.”

Remus’ bottom lip jutted out as he pouted. “I’m gonna break the rules tonight just you wait and see.” He grumbled. Sirius just huffed a laugh and pulled him close for a quick kiss then pulled away, slapping his ass.

“Allez, okay boys let’s go!” And with that, they all headed onto the ice.

“I can’t believe the whole team is coming.” Remus chucked in the passenger seat as they drove into the countryside a little.

Sirius smiled at him, one hand on the wheel, the other on Remus’ thigh. “I know, je pensais que ce serait nous seuls,” He glanced back at Remus once more, “But it’s nice too, ouais?”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “Yeah it’s really nice.”

They pulled into a little car park where they all agreed they would meet, a couple of the team already there. Sirius went straight for the Potter’s jeep and lifted a giggling Harry out of his car seat and into the sweet night air. Remus smiled, pulling his coat tightly around himself as he followed him over.

“Hey Re,” Logan said, coming up to his side. Remus smiled and stopped, “Hey.”

“It’s really nice here, huh?”

Remus looked around, there was snow on the ground, but none falling - the sky was clear, not a cloud to be seen. The moon was full and something about that always made Remus smile. The air was crisp and clean and smelled like the perfect backdrop of a night for making memories.

“Yeah for sure.”

Logan nudged his side lightly with his elbow, looking at Finn chatting to Alex and Kasey while Leo was having a mini snowball fight with Regulus.

“I know I already said thanks but, I don’t know sometimes there are nights like these and you just think ‘fuck, I am so goddamn lucky’, you now what I mean?”

Remus smiled and watched as Sirius threw Harry high into the air, catching him safely, kissing his cheek before doing it all over again. “Yeah, I really, really do.”

Logan looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Fuck Loops, I’m not sure if I ever would have gotten here without you. I mean maybe I would have, but it would have taken a hell of a lot longer.”

Remus nodded. “Sometimes,” He said, “Sometimes I’m so happy now that it seems almost crazy to imagine a time where none of us even knew. When we all thought we were alone.”

He nodded to where the Dumais kids had joined the snowball fight and to Sirius and Harry and Finn chatting to his brother. “But look at us now, we couldn’t be alone if we tried.”

Logan bumped him again. “Look at us being such ridiculous saps.”

Remus burst out laughing, burning his hands in his coat pocket. Logan clapped him on the shoulder and wandered over to the snowball fight zone, sneaking up on Katie and surprising her by throwing her up into the air. Remus wandered over to Sirius’ side, grinning as Harry held out his arms to him. Remus stuck out his tongue at Sirius as Harry was transferred to his arms, a little bundle of warmth.

“Hey buddy,” He said softly, “Have you been a good little man for your mom? I bet you have, she’s only threatened to kill me once this week, that means she’s not as tired anymore.” He said this all in a cheerfully happy voice, the kind in which you could say absolutely anything to babies and they would smile and laugh.

Harry eventually got tired of them and returned to James, Lily talking to Celeste and Noelle a couple of cars over. Remus laughed as he watched Logan pull Leo in for a kiss, then stuff a handful of snow down Leo’s back, running away and hiding behind Finn as Leo charged after him.

Remus tilted his head back and stared at the sky for a moment. The more he looked, the more and more stars he could see. First there were only the brightest ones, but then they all started appearing, glittering and twinkling on a blanket of midnight blue. Remus gasped as a single star shot across the sky, leaving a trail of light and magic behind.

“Baby, look.” He breathed, unable to look away. Slowly, more and more stars shot across the sky in a glorious arc of incandescent light. Everyone had hushed as they all stared at the sky and now all you could hear was the occasional gasp or amazed comment from one of the kids.

“This is what loving you feels like.” Sirius murmured softly in his ear. “Gorgeous and rare and magical and so fucking enchanting.”

Remus’ heart fluttered like it always did even after all this time, leaning back into Sirius’ warmth and hoping Sirius would understand that he loved him just as much, an infinite amount. And then a little bit more.

Everyone was in such a happy daze afterwards that it wasn’t until Remus was at home in bed, with Sirius wrapped around him as he drifted to sleep, that he never did break those rules.

#sweater weather lumosinlove #coast to coast lumosinlove #lumosinlove #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #coops #coops fluff #o'knutzy #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #Leo knut #James Potter #harry potter #thomas walker #12 days of ficmas

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lumosinlove · 4 years

Text

Coast To Coast

part vii

Harvard University, 2014

There must have been a greater power taunting him.

“Sexy!” Anderson—forward, number 77, alternate captain—had said in the locker room. “That is this year’s Halloween theme, boys. Bring your girls, bring your booze, bring your minimal clothing, bring your A-game.”

Sexy. That was definitely just what Logan needed for his first OKN house halloween party. His new teammates. In minimal clothing.

He rolled onto his back on his dorm bed with a sigh, continuing to scroll through his phone while he waited for Finn to get out of their shared bathroom.

Finn O’Hara. Harzy, the boys called him. Right wing but didn’t always play that way, number 17, a sophomore. Originally from New York City. Logan’s new roommate.

“It’s how it works, rookie,” Anderson had said. “Baby OKs share. You’ll get your own room eventually.”

Logan was fine having a roommate. He had had one at prep school. He didn’t even care if they were messy, he was sure he was twice as bad. But Finn O’Hara. Red hair, six foot even, brown eyes—bambi, the boys called him. A little on the thinner side, but Logan could tell he could bulk up if he wanted to. Finn O’Hara.

There must have been some greater power taunting him.

“Fuck,” Finn’s voice came from within the bathroom. The door was open, but not enough for Logan to see anything. “My balls are going to hate me.”

Logan snorted. “We wear spandex every other day of the year.”

“Yeah, breathable sports spandex, not this plastic shit. Jesus fuck,” there was a groan. “At least I look alright.”

“Stop staring at yourself and let me get in there.”

“Okay, okay,” Finn said, and Logan watched the door move as he pushed it open.

The universe hated him.

Finn was some sort of gladiator, Logan thought, with nothing on but a red cape that clasped around his neck and shoulders, and a pair of tight, gold underwear that left nothing to Logan’s imagination. They had a fake, foam sword clipped at the hip. He had gold paint on beneath his eyes, streaked like a football player, and a gold laurel crown sitting in his red hair. His pale skin was creamy against the gold and the frame of the dark red cape. He had cheap looking sandals on that went all the way up his strong calves, biting into the muscle a little.

Finn spread his arms, turning in a slow circle. “Look at these fucking things. Who makes these and why?”

Logan swallowed, looking at the gold underwear. “For frat parties, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah,” Finn laughed and then bent over his bed to fold his discarded clothes up. His cape slipped away from his back and Logan sat up abruptly.

“Merde, Harzy, those things are barely holding onto you.”

“I told you, my dick is gonna hate me,” Finn said loudly.

Logan smiled and swiped his party city bag from his dresser. “Souhaite moi bonne chance.”

“Swat bon,” Finn rolled his eyes.

Logan laughed and slipped into the bathroom. He could hear Finn putting some music on as he undressed, singing along softly under his breath. Logan gave himself a moment to close his eyes and breathe, fingering his necklace. He’d known Finn for a little over two months. That was it. And already he liked him in the morning. He liked him drunk off his ass. He liked him on the rare lazy day, still under his covers reading a book and wearing his glasses. His glasses. Dark tortoise shell things that turned amber in the sunlight, like his eyes, and just—fuck. He liked Finn on the ice and like it when they were on the same line, something that was happening more and more frequently. He liked Finn, and Finn seemed to like him well enough, and Coach liked them together. The found each other on the ice every time. Logan had never had that before.

Logan rubbed his hands over his face and then reached into the plastic bag for his costume—if he could call it that. A black cape, clasped by the yellow and black Batman symbol, the iconic mask that covered his eyes, and what could only be called underwear. They were black and shiny, with the bat symbol on the ass.

“Merde,” Logan breathed once he squeezed his thighs into the shorts. It was—obscene. He wasn’t hung like some of the guys he’d seen but this certainly made it look like he was. His cock pressed against the fabric as insistently as his ass did. He turned around and looked at the yellow symbol there and was glad that the cape would be covering at least some of it.

“Ready?” Finn said when thumping music started up downstairs meaning people were starting to arrive.

Logan looked out the small bathroom window and towards the dark driveway. Cars were lining up. People were getting out in bikinis and corsets, speedos and stockings.

“Uh, yeah,” Logan said. “One second.”

He looked at himself in the mirror and laughed a little before spinning the bat mask once, and placing it over his head. His hair curled out from under it, and the black frame made his eyes look a little startling.

He looked—not bad. If he was looking to pick up tonight—which he hadn’t done yet at Harvard—he probably could. He turned and looked at his abs, defined from the rigorous pre-season training. He looked good. He pushed away the wish that Finn would notice.

“I’m ready,” Logan said and stepped into the weird plush boots that had come with the costume. He pushed his way out of the bathroom. “Sounds like people are here.”

Finn looked up from his phone, legs spread in a way that was doing Logan zero favors. “Yeah, I—”

Finn’s stare was one Logan had felt before. Spotting him in the weight room, checking each other during drills. Two months of that look that Logan refused to think about. But that was a hard thing, when he had nothing to do but look right into it.

Finn stood abruptly, taller, gold paint reflecting into his eyes and making them light like syrup.

“What’s your,” Finn swallowed. “Tattoo. Necklace. I’ve never asked.”

“Oh,” Logan looked down at his hip. “It’s a fleur-de-lis. Sort of a family thing. Me and my sisters have them in different places.”

“How many sisters do you have?”

“Three. They’re older than I am.”

“Fleur-de-lis,” Finn repeated softly, eyes on the tattoo. He swallowed again and then looked away. “Sick. Should we go?”

“Yeah,” Logan said. “Yeah, I need a drink if I gotta wear this thing all night.”

Finn laughed. “Uh-huh. Me, too.”

Logan lasted about an hour before he couldn’t stand his mask anymore. He left it on a table somewhere, pushing his sweaty hair off of his forehead and wishing for a hat. He’d have to settle for something cool to drink instead.

OKN house had the back door open into the chilly yard and porch. The living room had a drinks table set up, one of those plastic fold out ones that they used at rush and club fairs, beside the great oak dining table that no one actually used except, well, Finn. Finn who planned his essays at this table until it was way too late and he snuck up to the room, trying to be quiet for Logan. Logan, who stayed up just to see him go about his routine and fall into bed. Logan, pretending he was a part of that routine.

Logan might have had a Finn problem. A two-month long Finn problem. A Finn-in-glasses problem. A Finn-dressed-as-a-gladiator problem. A Finn-in-his-red-Harvard-jersey problem with his rough skating and sharp shots.

A Finn over in the corner problem, talking to a girl. Problem.

Logan turned to the drink table and desperately looked for the rum.

Logan was allowed to have a Finn problem. Logan just couldn’t have a Finn…anything else. Finn-wet-dreams, in which he woke up with a gasp, sweating against his sheets and only needing to shove his hand into his pajama pants where he was red and swollen in his own hand, barely touching himself before he was shooting into his fist, eyes resolutely away from the bed across from him. Finn-bringing-him-breakfast, not that he could make more than burnt toast, before he drove them to the rink. Finn-laughing-with-him, like a best friend that Logan had never actually had. There were teammates, and then there were friends.

Finn was a friend. Logan could have a Finn problem, a Finn secret, and a friend.

He just couldn’t have Finn.

The rum was no where to be seen. A shoulder bumped his.

“Hey, rookie,” Finn smiled. “What you looking for?”

Finn’s crown was lopsided, like some sort of halo in an old painting. Like someone had been messing with it. Logan looked for the girl, but she was gone.

“Rum,” Logan said.

Finn did a quick survey of the table and found the bottle easily, unstoppering it and reaching over to pour a healthy amount into Logan’s waiting cup.

“Coke, right?”

Logan nodded.

A Finn-knowing-his-drink-problem.

Finn made himself one, too, and held his cup out for a cheers with a smile. Logan smiled back, clicking their plastic cups together.

“Lost your mask somewhere, Batman. Now the whole world knows your secret.”

Logan laughed tightly and raised his cup to his mouth. “I can’t have that.”

Finn tilted his head, chewing a little on the rim of his cup before taking a drink. He cleared his throat. “You been to the roof yet?”

“Non,” Logan shook his head.

“Wanna? It’s a kinda cool view of campus.”

Logan tried to smile over the hammering in his blood. “That girl didn’t wanna join you?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Come on.” He pushed off the table and was disappearing into the crowd quickly. Logan squeezed through bodies to follow.

“I found the picture,” Finn shouted. “Nut—fuck, is he still at the store?”

“Oui,” Logan said, filling up a glass of water from the sink. “Did you really find it? Let me see.”

Logan padded over to where Finn was sprawled on the couch and set his glass down before crouching near Finn’s head to see his phone.

“Oh God,” Logan laughed, ducking against Finn’s shoulder.

“Are you kidding? Lo, you look incredible. Fuck me, look at your legs. And you’re bigger now, like Jesus Christ… Ugh.”

Finn swiped his thumb lightly over where Logan’s tattoo was shown on his hip, just above the ridiculous yellow belt.

“This thing used to drive me crazy,” he said softly. “I mean, it still does, but…fuck.”

Finn used to have fantasies, while wishing for Logan, all of which had been very carefully kept faceless. Until this tattoo would make an appearance and ruin it all—and make him come immediately. It was ingrained in his subconscious as a Logan thing, one moment he would be touching himself in the shower, letting his mind wander quietly towards a hard chest against his, a large hand around his dick instead of his own. Faceless. He’d take the boy and press him against the wall of the shower maybe, do whatever he wanted him to do, kiss his neck, rut their cocks together, maybe he would moan Finn’s name—

Logan’s voice. The hip he had his fingers wrapped around was darkly inked, and tanned.

“Mon rouge,” Logan’s voice—really his voice—came through. Finn looked up at the touch of fingers through his hair. “Where did you go?”

Finn looked at Logan and took a slow breath. He was so familiar. He had been right there for so long, but it was only now that he was close.

“That was…” Finn swallowed. “Kind of a hard night.”

Logan’s brows drew together, and he nodded minutely after a moment. “We’ve had a few hard nights, non?”

Finn looked back at his phone, and then Logan was taking it out of his hand, clicking it off, and setting it on the coffee table. Finn sat up a little as Logan climbed into his lap, knees pressed to his hips. Finn ran his hands over his shoulders, then up beneath his sweatshirt to his broad back. He was bigger now. Stronger.

Logan pressed his fingers through Finn’s hair again and then a kiss to his jaw, one side, and then the other, his cheeks, and then his mouth.

“They lead us here,” Logan said softly. “The hard nights.”

Finn’s throat felt tight. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck. I know. I know they did.”

“Let me show you it’s easier now,” Logan said. “D’accord? Harzy, let me.”

“Lo,” Finn rasped out. He ran his thumb over where he knew the tattoo was, had memorized it quickly, would kiss it endlessly.

“You work hard for everyone,” Logan said the words into another kiss. “You worked hard trying to make me not be afraid, even when I was horrible and terrified.” He kissed down Finn’s throat and Finn’s mouth dropped open. “Even when you were terrified, even when I hurt you. Let me. Finn…”

Finn let out a breath, eyes opening to the ceiling, then to Logan’s when he brought their mouths back together.

"Let me.”

“I took you to the roof,” Finn gasped as Logan pressed against him, warm and real. “I don’t know what I was expecting, I…fuck, we barely knew each other.”

“Do you have any idea how much I wanted you,” Logan said. “Lean up for a sec.”

Finn let Logan pull his t-shirt off of him, let him press wet kisses to his neck and shoulders. It felt good, but part of him itched to flip them, to make Logan feel good. Kiss down his chest, kiss that tattoo.

“Relax,” Logan laughed softly, easing Finn back against the cushions. “You have to let me love you. I need it, Finn. I need to.”

Finn’s cock began to fatten up at that. He let his head fall back. “Lo…”

Logan reached behind him to yank his sweatshirt off and—and there he was. Real.

Finn pressed his palms against his chest, his stomach, feeling the hard curves of his muscles. Logan pressed his hands over Finn’s, bringing them to touch his neck, his pecs. “Let me take care of you for once. Rest and let me.”

Logan leaned down for another, soft kiss and then was swinging off of the couch. His cock was a soft outline in his sweatpants. “Allez.”

Logan pulled Finn up and Finn couldn’t help but back him against the nearest wall, just for a moment, thumb back against the fleur-de-lis, lips harsh against his jaw, just the way he knew Logan liked.

Logan let out a laugh that cut off in a moan. “Non, non—”

Finn pulled back and Logan’s smile made him smile. Logan was flushed and his neck was red from Finn’s mouth. Finn sucked a bruise on top of the blush on the side of his throat, and Logan’s short nails pressed into Finn’s back. Finn reached down and cupped Logan’s cock within his sweatpants, feeling the heat of it through the fabric.

“Non, non, non, allez,” Logan was still half laughing, walking Finn backwards towards his bedroom. “Je prends soin de toi. I’m taking care of you.”

“But I like making you come,” Finn grinned, only just managing to give Logan’s ass a squeeze before Logan pushed him back onto the bed. He bounced a little, pushing himself against the pillows before tapping his thighs. “C’mere, baby.”

Logan shucked his sweatpants off, followed by his socks, and then it was just him, bare and standing there in front of Finn. Finn swore softly and reached down to palm himself.

“Non,” Logan shook his head and knelt on the bed, cock standing out and wet. The sight only made Finn give himself another squeeze. Logan was straddling his hips then, snatching his hands and moving them to his waist. Finn wrapped his arms all the way around Logan, bringing their bare chests together.

He kissed him hard. “Gonna take my pants off, too? Can’t do much like this.”

Logan scoffed and hit the side of Finn’s head lightly, making Finn laugh. But he obliged, coaxing Finn to lift his hips so he could pull his sweatpants away. He leant to kiss the newly exposed skin, mouth soft against Finn’s hips and stomach, hand wrapping around his cock. Finn let out a slow breath and tangled his fingers in Logan’s hair.

He wasn’t expecting it when Logan sucked the head of his cock into his mouth. Logan hadn’t done that yet. He made Finn sit up, abs tightening.

“Tremz,” he panted out a breath. “Oh fuck.”

Leo had been wanting and loving about going down on Finn. It had practically broken Finn’s brain, seeing him there, blue eyes open with his mouth full of his cock. They’d laughed and kissed sending those videos to Logan. It was unbearably hot, thinking of Logan, seeing them, wanting them.

This was entirely different. It was different with both of them. With everything.

Leo and Finn liked to read together, swapping favorite passages. Logan didn’t read much, but he liked to be read to. Finn had always known that, had done it a million times back at Harvard. But now he knew that Logan liked to lay on Finn’s chest while he read, aloud or to himself, and fall straight asleep. He’d always fallen asleep to Finn’s voice. But now he was a weight on top of Finn, breathing softly against his neck and Finn just…

Logan’s mouth was soft, too, tongue pressing against the head of his cock.

Finn loved him.

“Lo, Lo, Lo…” Finn panted. “Fuck, baby.”

Logan just hummed and sucked down further for a moment before popping off and smiling a sweet smile. “Did it with Leo.”

Finn huffed out a laugh, throbbing at the image. “I should be no fucking problem, then.”

Logan laughed, too. “I hope he comes home soon.”

“Me, too,” Finn said. He wanted him with them.

“I guess I know a way to pass the time until he comes back.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Logan smiled and rolled onto his back, producing lube from Finn didn’t know where. He spread his thighs. “Love it when Knutty does this, the fucking splits.”

Finn leaned forward, running his hands down Logan’s smooth skin. “Yeah. I didn’t even think about how goalies do that until him.”

Finn watched Logan’s face as he slipped two fingers into himself.

“Baby,” Finn said softly. “Let me.”

“Non, you watch.”

Finn sat up further, hand going to his cock—

“Don’t,” Logan panted, head against the bedspread as he worked himself. “Watch.”

Finn sighed and took Logan’s thighs back in his hands and kissed the inside of his knee. There was a little scar there from a night that happened a long time ago. Finn remembered.

Logan laughed breathlessly. “You can’t help yourself.”

“I love you so much.”

Logan’s breathing hitched, green eyes hazy. “Finn…”

Finn kissed it again, and then the other one, and then his thighs. He sucked kisses into the skin, bringing purple to the surface. Logan was marked by the time he sat up.

He was quiet as he pressed Finn back against the pillows. He wet his lips.

“Lo, what—”

“Why do you have your socks on, you weirdo,” Logan said as he swung a leg over Finn’s thighs. Finn’s cock nudged his entrance, and Logan gasped, cutting himself off.

He leaned down and captured Finn’s mouth in a needy kiss and reached behind himself to line Finn up. It was only then that Finn realized—Logan was going to—

Logan’s thighs were firm beneath Finn’s hands as he sunk down on him. Finn’s mouth dropped open at the feeling, of Logan in complete control. It wasn’t like fucking him at all, it was Logan, above him, head tilted back with the feeling of Finn filling him up.

“Finn,” Logan’s voice was more whine than anything else. “Finn, Finn, Finn—“

And he was seated, their hips together, Logan’s cock drooling between them.

“Holy shit,” Finn could barely breathe in. “Holy fucking shit, Lo.”

Logan got his knees under him and pushed himself up before sinking down again. Finn clutched Logan’s hips as all the breath seemed to punch out of Logan’s lungs. He did it again, and again, landing hard with each thrust, completely gone with fucking himself on Finn’s cock. Finn was mesmerized with the wide expanse of tan skin he had to kiss, Logan’s collarbones and shoulders, tongue running over his nipples as Logan’s thighs worked around him.

Logan shifted his hips and pitched forward into Finn’s chest with a curse, burrowing his face in Finn’s neck as he rolled his hips forward in small, sharp motions, hitting that spot inside him again and again.

“There you go, baby,” Finn said, wrapping his arms under Logan’s and around his broad shoulders. He pushed up in time with Logan, making Logan practically shout. “Be as loud as you want, there you go.”

“Finn,” Logan just kept saying, slipping a few times and saying Leo’s name instead. It made Finn all the hotter to think that Logan was imagining Leo there with them, sitting beside them on the bed, maybe working Logan’s cock into his mouth.

Logan’s breathing hitched up and he tightened his arms around Finn’s neck, fingers gripping his hair to pull Finn back for a sloppy kiss as he started to raise his hips again, skin slapping down against Finn’s. He worked until Finn was sure his thighs had to be burning, no matter how toned they were. Finn was going to lose his fucking mind.

“What,” a voice came from the doorway.

Finn looked up to the side to see Leo standing there, keys in his hand.

“Leo,” Logan gasped, and reached a hand out while rocking himself down on Finn’s dick.

Leo walked forward slowly towards the bed and took Logan’s hand like he was in a daze, staring at their naked bodies, slick with sweat by now. Logan yanked him forward and started undoing his belt.

“Hi, Peanut,” Finn panted, head falling back again as Logan rocked against him harder. “Store was—good?”

“I…” Leo was staring at where Logan was wrapping an arm around his waist now, leaning forward to press sloppy kisses over where Leo’s cock was quickly filling in his underwear.

“Knutty,” Logan said, before getting his fingers under the band of Leo’s boxers and pulling down so that Leo’s cock fell out. Leo laced his fingers into Logan’s hair, a laugh startling out of him.

“Logan, oh my god, I’m still holding my keys and wallet. I have my shoes on.”

“Allez.”

Leo just shook his head, raking his fingers through Logan’s sweaty hair. He dropped his things onto the night stand and then tugged his t-shirt off in one go, pushing off his shoes next. Logan let him undress, turning back to Finn and pressing his hands to Finn’s shoulders.

“Don’t touch him,” Leo said as he kicked his boxers aside. He fell down on the bed beside Finn and wrapped a large palm around himself, stroking his shaft. “Come on Finn’s cock, Tremz.”

“Non. Finn.”

Finn watched Logan and Leo share a look that he didn’t quite understand.

“I found the Batman picture,” Finn offered as a hopeful way to get into whatever silent communication Leo and Logan were having. “Sort of—” Finn hissed as Logan tightened around him. “Stirred up some memories if you couldn’t tell, fuck.”

Leo raised an eyebrow, shifting to sit on his heels. “Oh yeah?” He ran a hand down Logan’s back and Logan slowed until he was rocking gently, leaning a little into Leo. Leo looked at Finn. “How’d he look, Harzy?”

“He looked—” Finn began, and then cut off. The sudden well of emotion that had cut through him earlier seized around his heart again. He looked at Leo, all kind eyes, running his hand through Finn’s hair. And Logan, connected to Finn in every possible way right then. Finn opened and closed his mouth, swallowed over a dry throat, and looked at Logan. “He looked…”

The October air was a relief on Finn’s face when he pushed open the old window to the roof of OKN house. He turned back to look at Logan. They had thrown sweatpants and sweatshirts on, Finn had swiped a bottle of rum from the kitchen. The only real remnants of their outfits was Logan’s mussed hair and the gold on Finn’s cheeks.

Finn still felt like he was wearing a costume.

“This is semi-secret,” Finn said as he climbed out onto the tiles, vans catching on the rough material. “And by that I mean I really think no one likes it out here but me.”

He heard Logan laugh from behind him and smiled, pleased.

Fuck.

“You, the roof, and the dining room table,” Logan said.

The rum sloshed gently as Finn settled himself in the curve of the tiles, putting his hood up for some warmth and cushion. Logan did the same, and they settled shoulder to shoulder.

“Might have to steel your spot,” Logan said. “You can keep the table, though.”

“We already share a room and a starting line,” Finn handed him the bottle. “Wouldn’t be so bad.”

Logan’s smile was bright in the moonlight. “Well, good.”

They were quiet for a few moments, passing the rum back and forth to keep warm.

“Do you think you’re gonna make it? To play, I mean.” Logan asked him suddenly.

Finn knew Logan didn’t know just how loaded of a question he was asking. Was Finn going to make it? Hopefully. Was Finn going to survive it? If there was another teammate who became what Logan was quickly becoming, if Finn slipped up…

Hopefully.

He couldn’t read Logan. He couldn’t risk misreading Logan. He shouldn’t even try.

“Yeah,” Finn nodded. “I do, actually. I…you know, there’s all those statistics and shit but I also…feel it? If that doesn’t sound completely stupid? You?”

“I…” Logan hesitated. “I’m not sure.”

“Come on, have you seen you play?”

One corner of Logan’s mouth raised, but he looked different beneath the moon. He was looking intently at Finn, bottle clutched to his chest.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I feel…”

Finn waited for him to continue, but when Logan merely shrugged, he pressed on.

“Hey, I’d take you. Any day.”

It didn’t have the intended effect. The look that crossed Logan’s face looked almost—pained.

“I mean,” Finn tried to decide how to backtrack. “Maybe one day, eh? Anything could happen.”

Logan turned to look out over campus. He nodded mutely and took another drink. Finn felt concern draw around his heart.

“Lo, are you okay?”

Logan’s eyes snapped back to him. “Quoi?”

“What? Oh. Oh. Oh, no, I…” Finn laughed, a little awkwardly. “I didn’t really mean to…that’s been, like—it’s just been bouncing around my head for a while and I guess it slipped out.”

“That’s okay,” Logan said slowly. “I’m okay.”

“It’s okay if you aren’t. I mean… freshman year, Harvard hockey…it’s a lot of pressure. Believe me, I know.”

Another surprising thing. Logan closed his eyes and shook his head. “Non.”

Finn blinked. “What do you mean?”

Logan shook his head. “Nothing, I just…I’m probably a little drunk, I don’t even know.”

Finn let Logan hand the bottle of rum back to him, clutching it to his chest just to hold onto something. He didn’t know what to make of Logan’s no. No Finn didn’t know what it was like? That wasn’t true. If anything, Logan didn’t know what he was going through. Logan didn’t think about kissing Finn.

Logan stole the bottle back. “If you’re not gonna drink.”

He had a smile on his face again, one of his small secret ones. Finn, despite the uncertainty, smiled back. He couldn’t help it around Logan. Logan, who he now knew was the youngest with three sisters. Logan, who drank rum and coke. Logan, who hated doing his homework, but liked listening to Finn do his. Logan, who fought boys twice his size.

Before Finn could say anything, a rumble of thunder sounded off in the distance. It made them both look up and across campus.

“Halloween storm,” Finn said. “I guess that’s fitting.”

“My weather app said something about it,” Logan said after a moment.

Finn smiled. Logan, who checked a weather app.

Logan saw his smile and gave him a small shove. “Let’s go before it starts to rain and—and lightning and shit.”

“Don’t like storms?”

Logan was already pulling his hood more firmly on his head and maneuvering himself into a crouch. “Not really.”

“Well,” Finn started following him back to the window. “I don’t know about Canada, but we get some pretty crazy ones out here.”

Logan huffed, pushing the window up. “Well, super.”

Finn frowned. “Do you really not like—”

“Merde,” Logan hissed and stumbled the rest of the way through the frame. “Fuck.”

Finn pulled himself through a second later, eyes falling to the rip in Logan’s sweatpants by his knee, the red bleeding into the thick material.

“Shit, Tremz,” Finn said. “Is it bad?”

“It’s fine,” Logan said, looking at it carefully. “I’m fine.”

“Let me see, sit down.”

“I’m—”

“Let me see, speaking as your alternate captain now.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at him pulling that card, but sat on a ratty window seat. Finn grinned at him and crouched between his legs. He steadied himself on Logan’s knee, and then pushed Logan’s sweatpants up carefully, revealing his leg—a leg that Finn had been trying very hard not to stare at in skin-tight Batman underwear all evening. His skin was warm.

Finn would have liked a longer excuse to touch Logan, but the cut was small if not a little deep—thankfully not too bad. It was already beginning to stop bleeding.

“You should be good. Wasn’t anything rusty, just the wood edge. There’s some stuff in our bathroom from when I cut my cheek open last year.”

“Okay,” Logan said quietly. It was only then that Finn realized how still he was holding himself in Finn’s hands. It made Finn back up immediately, neck going hot. Who knew what Logan thought. Finn was so careful. So careful.

“Okay,” Finn said, then cleared his throat. “Okay, cool.” He looked around and then picked up the rum bottle from the floor. “Yeah.”

Logan pushed his sweatpants back into place and stood. “I’ll go check it out. Thanks, Harzy. See you in the room.”

“Yeah,” Finn managed faintly. He watched Logan send him a raw looking smile before jogging down the narrow staircase with a tight heart.

“Always taking care of me,” Logan was kissing his neck. “Remember the storm that night?”

Finn found Leo’s eyes before Leo was kissing his chest, teeth scraping over his nipple. Logan was grinding down on him in slow circles, making Finn choke out a moan. Their mouths on him ripped him right out of the memory.

Sometimes happiness made sadness’s edge sharper.

Finn blinked heat away from his eyes, but then Leo was there again, cock against his thigh, mouth brushing his own. Leo. Finn held one hand against Logan’s hip, the fleur-de-lis, and the other circled Leo’s back, fingers tangling in his hair to pull him in for a kiss. He loved kissing Leo.

“You deserve it, too, remember? Like we said.” Leo said.

Logan mouth was softer now, against his jaw. “Maybe it’s time we show you.”

Finn could only sit there and take it, the two of them, warming him through and through.

Leo leaned into Finn’s touch. “Like you told me.”

Finn woke up with Leo pressed along his front for the first time the morning before they left for Florida. It was to a six AM alarm, Finn was exhausted, but it was one of the best mornings. Finding out Logan was coming to Gryffindor. Waking up wrapped around Leo. Tied for best mornings. After a few kisses, they had to get up, even if it felt like they were a world away from anything normal. Finn actually smiled to himself in the shower the entire time. He was giddy as hell, and Leo was in the kitchen making coffee and eggs and he could kiss Leo while he did that now. He could kiss Leo while he was reading on the couch, he could kiss Leo goodnight and crawl into bed next to him. And and and.

Leo looked up when Finn entered the kitchen, hunched over his coffee cup with two steaming plates in front of him. “Hi.”

Finn just walked forward and turned Leo away from the counter and towards him. “Leo.”

Leo took a lock of his hair, the red darkened from the shower, and curled it around his finger. “You look a little too serious for my liking.”

“You’re okay with all of this, right?” Finn said, and then the words rushed out. “You’re okay with me, and with Logan—hopefully—and you feel good and not pressured, and I just want to make sure because, Leo, I’m not that much older than you but I am older than you. And I need you to know that I want this with everything I fucking have but not if you’re in any way not happy, or, like, nervous, or…I just want,” Finn felt Leo press his hand to his cheek. “I just want to make sure. And I’m gonna keep making sure.”

“Harz…” Leo’s smile was small, almost disbelieving. “I’m so happy. I’m so happy.”

“Well…good,” Finn let out a breathless laugh, relieved. “Because you deserve to be.” Finn pressed his hands to either side of Leo’s face and kissed him once, twice, and then Leo held him there with a hand on the back of his head, licking into his mouth and making Finn sway into the cradle of his thighs. “I really, really like you, Peanut.”

“I like you, too. Even though you’re going to make us late.”

Finn just smiled into their next kiss. “I’ll get the dishes, okay? You go take a shower.”

Logan was already under his covers by the time Finn came into the room. The halloween storm was getting sharper. It was raining now, lightning flashing against the sky. Logan had his headphones in, and his eyes were dark as they followed Finn around the room as he undressed. Finn could hear his music from all the way in the bathroom.

Finn found the Batman mask by the sink and laughed, heart pulling when he thought about Logan’s green eyes in it, staring a little self consciously out at him earlier that night. He brushed his teeth and then put it on.

Logan raised an eyebrow when Finn came out, but he laughed and pushed his headphones away from one ear, making his hair stick up.

“Forgot your secret identity,” Finn grinned.

“Too late now.”

Finn bit his lip as he crossed the room to his own bed, putting the mask down. Logan was certainly his secret. Logan had grown quickly into Finn’s mind, so fast that Finn hadn’t really realized it. One morning, he just woke up thinking about kissing Logan square on the mouth.

Logan took a shaky breath from the other side of the room and set his headphones on his nightstand with a glance outside. Lightning cracked across the sky, lighting up the room. Logan’s fists squeezed around his blanket.

Finn slumped down against his pillows with a sigh, taking the book he was reading from his bedside. He could hear people leaving downstairs, screaming and laughing in the wind and rain.

“I don’t like storms,” Logan said quietly. He wasn’t looking at Finn, and he was messing with his fingers agitatedly, covers pulled high on his chest. “I don’t really know why, I just…I don’t like them.”

“I don’t like seaweed,” Finn shrugged, but warmed when Logan actually laughed. “I don’t know, man, it’s just slimy. Thunder’s loud as fuck, I mean, it doesn’t not make sense to not like it.” He took a breath. “You want the light on? It won’t bother me at all.”

Logan looked at him for a long moment, before nodding. “Oui. Thanks, Harzy.”

“Harzy,” Logan said against his mouth, and Finn felt his back arch as Logan drew them closer together.

Finn couldn’t get any words out, though, not with Logan hot around him, with Leo sucking intently at his neck, rutting against his thigh. He let out a harsh breath and tightened his fingers in Leo’s hair. They were both hard and dripping onto his chest and stomach and Finn wanted to do something for them. He was aching inside Logan, breathless from his own memories.

“Please,” he said, and he wasn’t even sure what he was asking. He tried to sit up, to reach for them. He wanted to surround them, to pull them against him harder.

Leo shushed him gently, pulling him into a kiss and easing him back against the pillows.

“You were gonna go all the way and get me the stars,” Leo whispered, a light laugh following. “Fuck, Finn…”

“I just—” Finn flexed his hips up into Logan and Logan’s brows scrunched together, hands keeping him upright against Finn’s chest.

“I’m gonna come,” Logan panted, his hips fucking down on Finn. “Fuck, I can’t—”

Logan’s hips stilled and he gasped, cock still red and hard. He fucked once, twice, as if he couldn’t help it, but Finn groaned in protest as Logan gingerly pulled off. Finn watched his own cock bobbing an angry red against his stomach, shiny with come and lube. Logan collapsed into Finn’s side, sweaty and running his hand down Finn’s chest to his balls, cupping them gently.

“Always taking care of us,” Logan breathed. “Fuck, Harz, I love you, but you have to let us take care of you.”

They’d only fucked a handful of times—and Finn was looking forward to many, many more handfuls—but he guessed it was true.

“I like it,” He said. And that was true too. He loved it. His breathing hitched as Leo licked a stripe from Logan’s fingers to the tip of Finn’s cock. “Fuck, Leo.”

Leo just smiled, cheeks a deep red and swung a leg over Finn’s hips. Finn’s hand shot out to grip Leo’s thighs.

“Baby, did you even—”

Leo nodded. “You were a little preoccupied.”

“I could of done it.”

Logan laughed, pressing a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “That’s not the point of right now.”

Leo’s cock hung heavily, balls swollen and tip wet. Finn itched to touch him, but instead Leo cupped his cock against his abs, giving Finn a perfect view of him sinking down over Finn’s.

“We’re all here together,” Logan said softly, accent thick as Finn’s eyes closed at the feeling of Logan’s hand and Leo’s body. “We’re all here for each other, mon rouge. Let us.”

Leo’s head was tilted back, hips rocking in slow circles. Finn cursed, gripping Leo’s pale thighs, longer and leaner than Logan’s.

“Peanut,” Finn gasped. “Jesus, did you two practice this on each other, too?”

Leo’s smile was hazy and blissful. “Maybe.”

Finn groaned, head dropping back into the pillows. Finn loved the two of them together. His two.

Leo’s breathing turned heavy and then he pressed up and sunk down again, punching a sound out of himself. “Fuck.”

“There you go, pinotte,” Logan said from beside Finn. His palm was warm around Finn’s balls still, the sensation making Finn feel like he was about to be right on the edge. Leo was still holding his own cock, but not stroking it, just sinking down around Finn again and again. His blond hair darkened against his forehead.

“I’m close,” Finn said. “Jesus, fuck, I’m so close.”

The urgency had come out of nowhere, but he ached with it. Logan’s hand squeezed again around his balls, and then Leo was pulling off, too. Finn’s abs jumped and the loss. He fisted the sheets.

“Boys, this is not what I call appreciation,” Finn’s knees drew up on their own, trying to seek out any type of friction. His cock beaded precome across his stomach.

“Non?” Logan said, and then he was gone from against Finn’s side. Finn felt aflame, like he could feel every touch, and every absence.

Leo smoothed a hand down his stomach, through the mess, and then his mouth was back on Finn’s cock—and so was Logan’s.

“Huh—“ Finn wasn’t sure if he was breathing properly as his hands shot out to tangle in their hair, brunette and blonde. They lapped at him, mouths meeting occasionally around his wet, swollen tip. They’re—

“Fucking gorgeous, what the hell,” Finn managed, and he did sit up this time, legs splayed, pressing against their chests, palms rubbing over their spines. He had to close his eyes for a minute when Logan’s mouth found his balls and sucked at them, at the sensitive skin at his root, all while Leo’s mouth was sinking down, down. Finn felt it like a bruise, like a hurt that was so good it shattered, he shattered, looking at them.

Finn tried to keep his hips still as he came in Leo’s mouth with a low sound, bowed with his forehead pressed to Leo’s shoulder.

They kissed him, and then kissed each other, and then Logan was crawling across Finn and into Leo’s waiting arms. They smiled at each other, and Finn thought that was better than any of the sex. Leo’s hands were shaky as he pushed into Logan. Logan sunk down on Leo’s cock twice before he was shouting, come hot and white against Leo’s skin. Finn pressed himself all along Logan’s back and held him as Leo fucked into him a handful of times and came, too, face buried in Finn’s neck.

They were breathing hard, like a fine current surrounded the three of them, placing their breaths in sync. Finn was—

Leo closed the door to the balcony of Finn’s Florida hotel room and paced back to the bed, sitting beside him. Finn rubbed a hand up and down his back, thumb bumping along his spine.

“He’s hurting,” Leo said, eyes down. “He’s hurting, and he won’t let us tell him that we…”

“Lo’s always needed to do things in his own time. Always. We’ll get to him, we’ll talk to him.”

“I…” Leo cut off with a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. Then he turned into Finn and Finn wrapped him up close.

“We’ll sort it out. Believe me, I’ve been waiting a long fucking time for this,” Finn pressed a kiss to Leo’s cheek. “For you, too, even if I didn’t know it.”

Leo smiled, even if his eyes were still a little sad.

“You’re right,” he said, and then paused. “Maybe we’ll just kidnap him at the buffet.”

Finn snorted. “Maybe.”

Leo took Finn’s hand in his lap and kissed it. “I think we’ll be together soon.”

It was too good. It was all his. Finn ran one hand over Logan’s abs slowly before pressing his palm over his pounding heart. With his other on Leo’s back, he could feel Leo’s heartbeat, too. They were louder to him than his own. Logan’s head was tilted back against his shoulder, his eyes closed, and Finn leant down and kissed his cheek.

“Knutty, c’mere,” he breathed. “C’mere.”

Leo’s cheeks were red like his mouth and he knelt his way over to Finn’s chest, leaning his chin up for a kiss. He pressed his hand to Finn’s cheek, swiping his thumb over his jaw.

“Stubble,” he mumbled with a smile, and dragged his lips over it happily.

Finn laughed softly. “I’ve been playing good, I gotta keep it.”

Logan looked up and all but smacked Finn in the face to feel. “Fucking loved that in college.”

“He had it the first day I met him,” Leo smiled, nuzzling against Finn’s slightly rough jaw and the dark red hair there.

“The fuck’s on your face, O’Hara,” was Logan’s greeting during preseason camp Finn’s senior year.

They’d seen each other a few weeks prior when Logan was still in the city staying with Finn’s family. He’d spent the last weeks of July with his own family, and how here they were, back at Harvard, sticky with sweat from ground training. Seeing Logan again after weeks, even just after a night’s sleep, was always a bit of a punch to the gut for Finn. He was tanned from the summer sun, sinfully so, and Finn wanted to—

“What?” Finn laughed, lifting his shirt up to wipe his face—including the week old beard he’d been experimenting with. “I don’t know about it, what do you think?”

He was thankful he was already sweating, because his face heated with the question. He needed to know what Logan thought, always.

Logan, green eyes were made light by his black snapback, walked forward. He took Finn’s chin between his fingers, turning his head this way and that before rubbing his palm over his cheek. Finn swallowed.

“Nice face,” Logan said.

Finn laughed. “You made fun of me.”

Leo snorted. “Well, neither of us could very well say fuck, what a hottie.”

“Nut, please go around calling Finn a hottie from now on,” Logan laughed, and then let out a breath. “Fuck, that was so hot.”

“I still haven’t seen the picture,” Leo said, and then, more quietly. “What activated our Finn plan, Tremz?”

Finn blinked. “Finn plan?” Logan looked up at Finn with a smile and Finn raised an eyebrow, tweaking his nipple and making him swear and laugh Finn’s favorite laugh. “What the hell is a Finn plan?”

“Just…” Logan looked over his face, and then to Leo, reaching out and petting a hand through Leo’s hair. “We wanted to show you that we want you just as much. That we want to take care of you as much as you always tell us you want to take care of us.”

Finn looked between them. “You…”

“We were talking about it,” Leo began.

“And making out,” Logan added.

“And making dinner one night,” Leo laughed. “And, I don’t know, we just sort of…when we felt the time was good, decided we’d make sure you knew.”

Logan nodded, hair tickling Finn’s throat. “You looked pretty sad there for a second, mon rouge, looking at that picture.”

“And when you were telling me about your rookie year, remember?” Leo said. “In Florida, after we got together?”

“I’m just saying,” Finn shrugged. They were laying down facing each other on Finn’s bed. Timmy was out with Kuny and Nado and, when that happened, he didn’t come back for a good while. Finn didn’t want to do anything too risky, but kissing Leo until he was soft and smiling seemed like a good plan. Logan wasn’t picking up his phone. He wasn’t in his and Leo’s room.

Kissing had soon turned into worrying.

“I’m just saying, I’m really glad you didn’t have to do the rookie season hotel shit. I’m so glad you’re with me. When I did it, it just,” Finn watched where his thumb was stroking over Leo’s knuckles. “I mean, Logan wasn’t really talking to me. I was trying to give him space, but I—missed him. Sorry,” Finn laughed a little, clearing his throat around the hot tears forming there.

“Don’t be,” Leo said. “Harzy, you love him. Of course you missed him.”

“I just waited for him to call forever,” Finn said in a rush. “And I’d wait forever again, you know, but I…I would just stare at my—phone,” Finn’s voice hitched. ��And then I finally called him and it was horrible, I could barely talk.”

Leo’s eyes were sad and he pressed closer to Finn.

“I’m just happy you wanted to talk,” Finn whispered into the small space between them. “I’m so fucking glad we talked and now look, I can kiss you, Leo. Even though I’m crying,” Finn smiled a little, and Leo kissed him.

“You’re allowed to cry over him. Fuck, you think I haven’t cried over both of you?”

Finn laughed and rubbed his eyes. “Hope you don’t cry over me anymore.”

Leo grinned, swinging a leg over Finn’s hips. “I think they call you Heartthrob-O’Hara for a reason.”

“I remember,” Finn said softly. He couldn’t think about that phone call, though. Not yet. With time. “I didn’t know you remembered, Nut.”

Leo nodded. “I think we all remember.”

Logan let out a shaky breath against Finn’s chest and Finn rested his lips against the crown of Logan’s head. Maybe Logan couldn’t think about it either. Logan, who had tried to be so bright for him, even when he could tell Finn was crying.

Leo smiled. “Got a couple of star crossed lovers on my hands.”

Finn felt Logan’s laugh this time. “Care to join the party?”

“Yes, please.”

Finn groaned at the soft syllables in Leo’s voice, the drawn out ones in Logan’s. “You both get accent-y after sex."

“Tired,” Logan said.

“Fucked,” Leo sighed.

Logan laughed loudly, eyes squeezing shut, and he nudged Leo with his hand before wrapping his fingers around his arm and pulling him close for a kiss.

Finn didn’t think they were star crossed anymore. They had orbited around that somehow and ended up here, pulled by Leo’s gravity, into a tangle of light.

“In the middle,” Leo laughed, and bent briefly to press a lingering kiss to the dark ink on Logan’s hip before returning to his mouth. “Just how you like it.”

Finn smiled. Finn was just where he liked it, too. Feeling the weight of both of them in his arms, not moving, not going anywhere, their voices soft in a room the was safe and warm.

“What do you like, Nut?” Finn said. “Tell me.”

Leo bit his lip. “Looking at you two. I never even thought I’d have one person. And if I did, I thought they’d get tired of secrets. Scared away.” Leo let Finn pull him closer. “Secrets made you two stronger. And you’re not gonna leave me because you have to keep me a secret, either.” Leo’s gaze flickered. “I like looking at you two and knowing that.”

“Knutty, Knutty, Knutter, Nut, Nutter butter baby,” Finn sing-songed as he shuffled into the kitchen, voice sleepy and hair a mess. He felt awake after last night, his boys, on him, with him, working their way so deep into his bones and heart that he bled and bruised and breathed them. It felt good.

He rested his cheek against Leo’s back as he wrapped his arms around him from behind while eggs sizzled on the stove.

“Morning, Harz,” Leo said.

“Sup,” Finn sighed.

Leo snorted, then took a strip of bacon he had cooling from a plate. “Here.”

Finn made an appreciative sound and took it between his teeth.

“Do you wish we could cook?” Finn asked as he chewed.

Leo wavered his head back and forth. “No,” he decided. “I think you can do more than you think you can, but I like cooking for you. You guys clean up. It’s like being on a cooking show. All the fun, none of the work.”

Finn laughed, pressing a kiss to Leo’s shoulder through his t-shirt. “Cute.”

“Is he awake yet?”

“No,” Finn said, pulling three coffee mugs down from the cupboard. Logan, easily awoken, hard to wake up. “Somehow we managed to sneak out. Lightest sleeper ever. You know, I used to have to pee on roadies or when we were roommates—I mean I still pee, but you get the idea. And he would jump up like there was a fucking burglar.”

Leo dumped the eggs onto the waiting plates and flicked the hot pan off. He came up behind Finn this time, hands on his hips while the smell of brewing coffee rose in the air. Finn leaned back against his chest.

“I thought about doing this so many times while you made breakfast,” Finn said softly.

Leo glanced at his face, nose brushing his cheek. His eyes were closed, eyelashes turned shadows in the warm sunlight pooling on the floor. He was completely relaxed into Leo, and Leo held him there. This was what Leo liked. Finn, knowing that they weren’t going anywhere, no matter what he did.

“Me too,” Leo said, kissing Finn’s jaw. Finn smiled, and turned his head into the kiss.

“Leo,” Finn said.

“Yeah?”

“I think we should ask him.”

Leo only had the chance to smile and kiss Finn again, deeper, before there was a weight falling against both of them, Logan’s dark head of hair burrowing against Leo’s chest. Leo laughed and stumbled, just a little.

“You gain ten pounds when you’re sleepy, I swear.”

Logan just hummed. Leo and Finn looked at each other over his head, and then Finn sandwiched Logan in from the other side.

“Hey, Lo,” he whispered.

“Quoi,” Logan mumbled sleepily, his eyes closed and cheek against Leo’s t-shirt.

Finn smiled at Leo, and Leo ducked down.

“Will you move in with us?” Leo whispered.

Logan looked up so fast he butted Finn in the nose with the back of his head.

“Fuck me,” Finn startled back and Logan swore, turning in their arms and pressing his hands to Finn’s rough cheeks.

“Harz,” Logan began, and then Finn realized that both him and Leo were laughing too hard to speak.

“Ouch.”

Logan sagged against him, gasping for breath—

And then Finn realized he was half crying. And nodding. And nodding and nodding.

Finn abandoned his aching nose and looked at Leo, whose expression had softened. Logan’s breathing stuttered and he gasped out a laugh, wiping his face.

“Fuck, I just woke up.”

“Is that a yes?” Finn laughed. “Head butt me then burst into tears, I guess that’s a pretty regular morning for us all.”

Leo kissed Logan’s neck softly. “Say yes.”

“Get out of Dumo’s basement,” Finn said.

Logan punched him in the chest, making him groan, and the pulled him back in, leaning into Leo’s arms.

“Yes,” Logan said. “Yes.”

Over coffee, Finn held his phone out to Leo.

“Slutty Batman.”

Leo blinked at the photo. “Holy fuck.”

#coast to coast #lumosinlove #sweater weather #sweater weather spin off #coast to coast lumosinlove #lumosinlove coast to coast #o'knutzy #Logan tremblay #Leo knut #finn o'hara #lumosinlove ocs #lumosinlove oc #finn x logan x leo

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fangirlwriting-stories · 3 years

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Reflecting Light

Summary: As far as Remus knows, the situation with Shane is totally normal. Sure, it sucks, and he would love to not have to deal with getting beaten and scrutinized as often as he does, but that's just the way things are. There's no other way around it. Which admittedly might create some problems when he gets fed up enough to run away. (Trigger warning for abuse.)

Chapter One:

Even at seven years old Remus was well aware that people like his brother more than him.

Part of it was the looks. Roman had never chipped his teeth or gotten cuts on his face or grinned in a way that was just a little bit creepy (even though that was the fun part). Part of it was also probably personality. Roman was friendly and agreeable in ways that Remus wasn’t. Roman never got looks that amounted to “when are you going to leave?” Roman also never had to see Shane.

Shane had told him many times that people liked Roman more than he did, but he seemed to have different reasons than the ones Remus had come up with. According to him, Roman would make a far better soldier because he knew how to shut up and do what he was told in a way that Remus had never been able to comprehend. And this was just what happened to kids who didn’t do what they were told. That was Shane’s job, after all. He got a high rank for it too. According to him The Light have really cared about crushing dissension. But that didn’t change the fact that Remus probably would have been more willing to listen to his reasoning about Roman if the bruise on his face wasn’t screaming it’s protest.

But he was right about the fact that far more people liked Roman than him. Remus was mostly okay with that, because there were three people he was pretty sure liked him well enough. One was Roman himself, and the other two were their new and closest friends, Patton and Logan. Patton and he didn’t always get along perfectly, since he didn’t love the way Remus always roped him into plans to steal food from the kitchen; but he never got the impression that Patton liked Roman more than him. And Logan was fun to talk to about weird stuff. Remus could tell him about the rotting carcass he found outside, and while Patton and Roman would both be grossed out, Logan would ask him all sorts of questions as to what he thought the animal was, what it looked like, how decomposed it was at that point.

And then of course, Roman. Even if Roman had loved himself more than Remus (which frankly wouldn’t surprise him, given the size of his ego), Remus would have loved him anyway, because he was Roman. And Remus had to protect him. There was nothing saying Shane wasn’t just as likely to hurt Roman if he fucked up. Remus couldn’t let that happen.

Which is why he was pretty sure this was a bad idea.

Remus followed Logan and Patton out the door and onto the roof, pulling Roman behind him and not letting go of his hand. Stealing food from the kitchen was one thing, but sneaking out at night? Remus took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to look like a coward and voice concerns about getting caught. That was Patton’s job. Besides, he could always say it was his idea. That had convinced Shane to leave his brother alone in the past.

And Logan was right. Shooting stars looked really cool.

“Look, look!” Logan cried, far more excitement in his voice than usual. “That’s Aries!”

“I thought we were out here to look at shooting stars,” Patton said, sitting down next to where Logan had plopped himself down on the roof.

“We are, but I just learned how to find that constellation!” Logan called happily. Logan had found a contraband book on astronomy recently and had not stopped studying since. He’d begun to teach the rest of them too. Remus was finding it interesting enough that he kept listening.

“Alright.” Logan pulled that contraband book out of his jacket and set it open on the ground in front of them. “So shooting stars aren’t actually stars at all.”

“What?” Roman asked around a yawn. “Why’re they called shootin’ stars then?”

“Because that’s what they look like! But actually, they’re chunks of rocks burning up in the atmosphere!”

Remus’ eyes widened and he leaned over Logan’s shoulder. “They’re on fire?”

“They are!” Logan called, beaming at him. “They almost always burn up before they even hit the ground, but the burning is what lets us see them!”

“That’s awesome,” Remus said, looking up at the chunks of burning rock falling through the sky. “What happens if they don’t burn up?”

“Uh… I don’t know. I haven’t gotten to that part in the book yet,” Logan said, looking down at the textbook in his lap. “I think it makes some kind of crater.”

“Tell me when you get there!” Remus said, leaning against Logan’s side and looking down at the book too.

“Will do,” Logan said, smiling over at him. Remus grinned back and they both looked up at the stars above the four of them. Patton was watching, but he still looked exhausted, and Roman lasted another second before he leaned against Remus’ shoulder and fell asleep. But Remus and Logan would be up for many hours yet.

…

Remus, after the discovery that astronomy included things like burning rocks flying through the sky and explosions out in space, joined Logan far more often for stargazing and sessions to read his book. That was good for a long while, long enough that Remus could now name all the constellations and was able to use the stars to navigate if he had to. Roman and Patton joined them on quite a few stargazing sessions as well, but they often fell asleep in the way that Logan and Remus never did.

By the time Remus turned 11 it had been several years since the two had needed the book, but that didn’t mean that Remus didn’t remember what it looked like, and he recognized it instantly when Shane dropped it on the table in front of him.

Remus had weekly meetings with Shane, bi-weekly if he happened to seriously fuck up that week in some way. He hadn’t thought the book would be coming up in tonight’s meeting. He looked at it for a second and decided that it was safest to not say anything just yet.

“This was found in Logan’s room,” Shane said. “Do you recognize it?”

Remus wasn’t sure why he was being asked this question instead of Logan, but he wasn’t going to complain. If there was a way to get Logan out of this safely, he would take it. He nodded.

“So you’ve been studying contraband books,” Shane said, his voice dropped to a dangerous low. Remus squeezed his hands together under the table. He wished Shane would sit down. It wasn’t usually a good sign when Remus was sitting and he was standing.

“It was my idea,” Remus said.

Shane raised his hand, and Remus had a second to brace himself before he was smacked across the cheek. He held back a wince. Those never put Shane in a better mood.

“Do you think I care whose idea it was?” Shane asked. “Logan would at least have an excuse. He’s going to be a strategist. He needs to know how to plot locations, and stars are a helpful tool for that. You are a soldier. Strong. Silent. Replaceable. You don’t need to think. Understand?”

Remus looked down at the table and nodded. Oh, he’d forgotten about the way he’d folded in so many of those pages. It had driven Logan crazy. He’d complained that Remus was going to ruin the only book they had. But the book looked almost fine today, so Logan was obviously wrong about that one.

“I don’t want to hear about anything like this again,” Shane said, picking up the book and setting it down in his bag. “Get out of here before I decide you deserve worse.”

Remus climbed up from the chair and walked over to the door, thoughts buzzing through his head. He shut the door after him. He wasn’t sure why Shane talked to him if the book was found in Logan’s room. Wouldn’t that kind of automatically make it Logan's fault?

Remus shook himself slightly. He shouldn’t be complaining about getting a chance to take the fall for Logan. He would much rather it be his fault than Logan’s. But didn’t mean the fact that he was the only one yelled at didn’t still rub him the wrong way. Remus would blame that for his next decision of heading straight for Logan’s room and shaking him awake.

“Who’s there?” Logan asked, reaching for his glasses on his bedside table.

“It’s me,” Remus said, picking them up and handing them over to Logan. “You wanna go stargazing?”

…

Patton and Remus didn’t have a ton in common, but Remus found some fascinating things to learn in the fact that Patton was training to be a doctor, so he got to look at super gross injuries all the time. Remus would tag along sometimes to see how to treat a broken bone, or a nasty stab wound, or a concussion.

Sometimes Patton treated him when Shane was a little too rough. He felt like a safer person to go to than any of the actual doctors. Remus was pretty sure Patton just thought he was clumsy. He wasn’t expecting that to change, like it ended up doing one night when they were both fourteen.

It had been a bad night. Remus wasn’t sure he could make it until morning without some kind of medical care or he’d be up all night in pain and unable to sleep. He made his way to Patton’s room and knocked on the door before walking in.

Patton was rubbing his eyes and sitting up in bed as Remus made his way over to sit down.

“Hey, it’s me,” Remus said, as Patton grabbed his glasses and put them on. “Can you—”

“Oh my goodness, Remus! You look terrible, what happened?”

“I fell down the stairs,” Remus lied. “I think my nose is broken.”

“Oh no,” Patton said, throwing the covers back and taking Remus gently by the arm, pulling them both out of his room and towards the medbay. Remus winced and decided not to tell Patton he was holding the area where he was pretty sure a bruise was already forming.

They had this kind of thing down to a science at this point. Patton grabbed the bruise cream and bandages, wrapping the cuts that Remus had and putting the cream on the areas Remus pointed him to.

“There’s not much I can do for your nose,” Patton said. “It’s not broken in any way I need to adjust, so you’re just going to have to not touch it and wait for it to heal.”

“Yeah, okay,” Remus said, knowing very well that Shane would not be holding up that idea.

“Remus.”

Remus glanced up.

“This is far too many injuries for you to have gotten from falling down the stairs.”

Remus bit his lip. “It was the big stairs. The ones on the third floor.”

“Remus,” Patton whispered. “Did someone do this to you?”

Remus didn’t say anything.

“Who?” Patton said, and Remus had to do a double take at the sudden amount of anger in his voice. “Remus, who did this?”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said on instinct.

“It’s not— Remus, it’s not your fault,” Patton whispered, sounding two steps away from horrified.

“But I was the one who messed up in training,” Remus protested, looking down at his bandaged hands. “And James got hurt. So now— now I know what he felt like.”

Patton was silent for a few seconds too long, and Remus was about to look up again when Patton took his face in his hands and raised it for him.

“Remus, who did this to you?” he said, and the anger on his face took Remus’ breath away. He whispered Shane’s name and realized a second after that he definitely shouldn’t have done that.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” he said suddenly, pulling Patton’s hands down from his face and clutching them desperately. “Patton, please.”

“Remus, you— I can’t let this keep happening,” Patton said. “I can’t see you like this and do nothing.”

“Sure you can! I do nothing about this all the time! It’s easy!”

“Remus, no,” Patton said, shaking his head. “I can’t.”

“But—”

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright,” Patton said, reaching out and pulling Remus into a hug. “I promise, okay?”

Remus shook his head, bumping it into Patton’s. “But—”

“It’s okay. It’s gonna be alright, okay?”

Remus didn’t say anything else. He clearly wasn’t going to change Patton’s mind on this. Patton ended up checking him over one last time and then they both went back to bed, Remus with a very uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He should have just gone to bed and sucked it up until the next morning. It would have been fine. Dammit, he was such a wimp.

…

Remus didn’t have any idea how much he’d fucked up until Shane found him the next morning. He grabbed Remus by the arm with no warning, and dragged him back away from the direction he’d been heading in while Remus tried not to whimper from the pain. Shane had to have known that was a bad spot to grab.

When Shane finally stopped they were outside the meeting room. He yanked the door open and threw Remus inside. Remus thankfully landed before his head reached the table leg, but that didn’t mean his still-sore body wasn’t screaming what the fuck are you doing at him.

“Remus!” called a familiar voice, and that is when Remus realized exactly why he was here.

He pulled his head off the floor half a second before Shane grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up the rest of the way.

Remus yelped and reached up on instinct. Shane slammed his head down on the table and Remus barely managed to stop the cry that escaped.

“Stop! Stop it!” Patton exclaimed, and Remus heard his footsteps running over towards the table. He managed to move his head to look over when Shane shifted to look in the same direction.

Shane snapped his fingers, and a guard grabbed Patton and held him back.

“Now, Remus,” Shane said, getting much closer to Remus’ face. “Would you like to explain to me why Patton told a supervisor that I am hurting you?”

“You—” Patton started.

Shane lifted up and slammed Remus’ head down again, glaring towards Patton the whole time, and Patton whimpered and stopped talking.

“Well, Remus?” Shane asked.

“I— I needed help,” Remus wheezed. “After last night, so I asked him to help me and he guessed that—”

Shane reached forward and pressed hard on Remus’ nose. Remus screamed and tried to get out from under Shane’s hand, but he couldn’t get anywhere, and Shane just waited until he stopped moving again to remove his hand from his nose.

Yeah, Patton was definitely crying in the background now.

“You have known for years that you’re not allowed to tell anyone,” Shane said. “And you told him that I was hurting you, as if everything I’ve done has not been to help you improve.”

“I— I didn’t—” Remus said weakly, and cut himself off when he realized he was being an idiot. A second too late, though, because Shane now moved forward slightly and slammed his free elbow into Remus’ nose.

Remus shrieked, and though Shane finally let go of his head, he couldn’t find it in him to do much other than curl his hands around his head and wait for the pain to stop.

“This is what is going to happen if you tell anyone again,” Shane said. “Do you understand?”

Remus nodded, whimpering out an apology, although he wasn’t sure if Shane was talking to him or Patton.

“Good. Somehow it seems you can do that right,” Shane said, stepping back from Remus. Remus waited until he heard two sets of footsteps retreating and a door closing to move.

He’d barely managed to lift his head when Patton was in front of him, still crying, and gently started looking over Remus’ head while whispering apologies over and over.

“Patton, I’m fine,” Remus said. “It’s okay, you don’t need to—”

“Yes I do,” Patton said weakly, looking at the spot where Remus’ head had been slammed against the table multiple times. He sniffed and wiped at the tears coming from his eyes with his free hand.

“You’re— you’re gonna have a bump there,” Patton whispered. “But I don’t think you have a concussion. I— I have to realign your nose.”

Remus nodded, trying to show he wasn’t mad. “Okay.”

Patton started to reach for his nose, then stopped halfway and buried his head in his hands.

“It’s okay,” Remus said instantly.

“I’m so sorry,” Patton sobbed, moving to wrap his arms around Remus. “I was— I was trying to help I thought— I thought—”

“It’s okay,” Remus said again. “Patton, it’s okay. I’m used to it.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Patton just started crying even harder. It was another minute or so before Patton finally pulled back, still crying but looking back at Remus’ nose again. “This is going to hurt,” he whispered.

Remus nodded.

Patton snapped something back into place and Remus screamed through his teeth but managed not to move in case Patton wasn’t done.

“Don’t— don’t touch it okay?” Patton whispered. “And try not to let Shane touch it. Just until it heals.”

Remus mumbled some kind of affirmation, and Patton dropped his hands to his sides, then lifted one up to wipe his tears again.

Remus wasn’t sure quite what to say. After a moment he just turned back to Patton. “Let’s go eat breakfast.”

Patton nodded, wiped his eyes one more time, and they both headed out of the room and towards the cafeteria. Patton managed to stop crying on the way there, and he stopped in a bathroom on the way to the cafeteria to wipe his face better. Remus waited outside and they headed in together.

Roman and Logan were already in the middle of one of their many debates by the time the two of them walked up to the table.

Roman noticed them first, being opposite Logan who had their back to them, and glanced up with a smile. “Oh hey, what’s going— oh holy shit Remus what happened to you?!”

Remus wasn’t sure what to say anymore, as there were too many things Roman could be talking about. “I, uh…” He sat down next to Logan as he tried to come up with an answer.

“He’s fine,” Patton said, moving over to sit next to Roman. “I just helped patch him up a little bit ago. He fell down the stairs.”

…

Patton became Remus’ go-to person for help if he needed it after his meetings with Shane. Shane never seemed to say anything about it, though he’d threatened Patton a couple times about what would happen if he told anyone.

Patton had promised he wouldn’t, though, and Shane seemed to believe him when Roman or Logan went on knowing nothing about what was happening. Overtime, the lying seemed to get easier for Patton, in exactly the way it started to get harder for Remus.

He’d never felt like he was lying when no one else knew. It was easy to give his excuses when he had to convince three people, in a way that it suddenly wasn’t when he felt like he was conspiring with Patton.

The other side of it was that Patton genuinely made things easier. He helped Remus when he was hurt badly enough, and after a while Shane seemed to approve of the way Patton wasn’t telling anyone anything.

But the way Patton improved things almost made Remus feel guilty. Patton didn’t deserve to be dragged into his mess. If Remus had been dealing with this for more than a decade at this point and still couldn’t get anything right, maybe Shane had the right idea and he needed some kind of rougher punishment. He wasn’t going to tell Patton that, of course. Patton would just start crying again or get that look that meant he wanted to murder whoever made Remus feel that way. And Remus wasn’t exactly sure he wasn’t supposed to feel that way.

Besides, his least favorite change just proved how much he couldn’t handle all of this, because somehow his brain had decided the worst part of the whole thing was the way Shane was now having him explain everything he’d done wrong himself. He said that at this point Remus should have been old enough to understand what he did wrong. And he was probably right, but for some reason Remus left every session where that was all they did feeling worse than if Shane had broken his nose ten times. At least when he was beaten to pulp he had a reason for feeling like a worthless piece of shit. Why did he feel worse when all they did was talk? There wasn’t even anything for Patton to help with. He should be fine.

He tried to take solace in the fact that at least Logan and Roman didn’t know, because sometimes the way Patton looked at him like he was a kicked puppy hurt too. He still got to stargaze with Logan, and he’d sat in on a few strategizing sessions before. He made suggestions to Logan afterwards that he said he could use as long as he never said they came from Remus. Logan seemed baffled by this request. He always called Remus’ contributions brilliant, and Remus wasn’t sure why he kept lying. Was he just trying to make him feel better? That didn’t seem very much like Logan.

Roman… he didn’t want Shane to affect his relationship with his brother, but he couldn’t say the way Roman seemed completely at ease around Shane didn’t bug the hell out of him sometimes. There were times he’d considering finding a way to tell Roman for half a second before the voice in his head starting screaming at him what a terrible idea that was.

Remus was twenty-three when he realized Roman just didn’t care.

It had been a really awful night. Patton was still in the process of wrapping a cut on his arm from where Shane had been doing target practice with those new knives that had been made. It hadn’t even done anything more than nick him, but Remus hadn’t been able to stop shaking since. He felt like a weakling.

Patton had been murmuring quiet reassurances the whole time, and it at least created a peaceful enough feeling that Remus was starting to calm down.

That feeling broke completely in half when the door banged open and Roman ran in.

“Oh good, you’re both here!” Roman called.

“Yeah and what the fuck are you doing here?” Remus snapped, whirling around as his heart leapt into his throat. “Can’t you see we’re busy? Get out!”

Roman jumped in surprise and jerked backwards. “Jeez, what the hell Re? What’s your deal, I haven’t even told you why I’m here yet.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Patton said, pulling Remus back down. “Careful, you’re going to tear the bandages.”

“Bandages?” Roman asked. “Shit, what happened?” He walked forward in concern as Remus turned back around, still trying to calm his shaking hands as Patton started to wrap the bandages again.

“Knife practice,” Remus muttered. “Just got nicked.”

There was a second of silence, and suddenly Roman laughed.

Remus turned to look at him in surprise. “Seriously, that’s it?” Roman asked with a smile. “Dude, you fell down the stairs and broke your nose as a kid and were still in training that afternoon.”

“Roman,” Patton said, sounding surprised and a little angry.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Roman said, waving his hands dismissively. “But honestly, Remus, you would think with everything you go through you’d be used to it by now.”

Remus’ hands stopped shaking. He turned and looked at his shoes as Patton finished wrapping his cut. “Did you need something?” he muttered.

“Oh, yeah! Logan said he could spot the start of the spring constellations last night! He told me to come get you two and then we’re gonna raid the kitchens to celebrate! Stephanie had a birthday last week, there’s gonna be cake!” He sung the last word in a lighthearted tone that meant that was the part he was really looking forward to.

“We’ll be right there,” Patton said, half paying attention as he gave the bandages one last look over and then moved to put the medical supplies away.

“Awesome! See you there!” Roman called, and turned and jogged out the door.

“You alright?” Patton said quietly, even as he headed for the door too, clearly assuming Remus was going to follow.

“I’m fine,” Remus said finally. He stood up and started to follow Patton. It was just a tiny knife nick. Stop thinking about it. “I… I need a minute.”

Patton turned again. “You want me to tell them you’re taking a rain check?”

Feeling even more like a wimp, Remus nodded.

“Okay.” Patton gave him a small smile. “See you at breakfast, Remus.” He walked out, leaving Remus alone.

“You would think with everything you go through you’d be used to it by now.”

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. What the hell did that mean? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Remus stopped walking as a thought struck him. Did… did Roman know? That sentence certainly suggested it. Remus thought about all the times he walked back into their shared room late at night bruised, bleeding, or miserable. Roman would look up at him, ask him if he was good, and go back to what he’d been doing like that decided that, and that was if he was still awake.

Oh, fuck. Of course he knew. Remus was such an idiot. How could he not have known?

…Why didn’t he care?

Remus could think of countless times throughout the years that he had taken the fall for something Roman had screwed up. Roman would get a firm talking to and a warning while Remus would take the brunt of the punishment, just so he wouldn’t have to. And Roman didn’t even care that he’d done that? He just expected him to be used to it?

Remus made it over to the door and looked out to the right, the direction Patton and Roman had gone in. Patton had caught up to Roman and they were both rounding the corner, Roman laughing and Patton starting to smile.

Remus looked down and took a deep breath. Then he left the room and ran in the other direction.

He wasn’t entirely sure where he was going, but his feet seemed to have some kind of plan that his brain didn’t, because he kept sprinting through the halls and didn’t slow down. It was a goddamn miracle that he didn’t meet up with any guards. He had caught the tail end of the morning shift and the beginning of breakfast, which was probably the main part of it.

He made it to the exit, and finally stopped. There were guards there now. Someone was climbing into one of those mechanical vehicles they were testing, the kind that looked like the horse-drawn carriage of Remus’ childhood without the horse. That meant there was a place to crouch on the back of it.

The guards walked off after making sure everything was secure. Remus waited until they went around the corner across from his not-really-a-hiding-place, then ran for the carriage and jumped on the back before he could really think about what he was doing. He looked behind the carriage as it exited the doors, and stood up as they approached the guards by the gate.

“Bodyguard,” Remus said, nodding at them as they passed and thanking his lucky stars this carriage was closed. They nodded back, and the vehicle started into town.

They’d made it to the edge and Remus hopped off, taking a breath. And then he realized what he’d just done.

Holy shit. Remus looked around, trying desperately to come up with a plan. He needed to get away from this village, and fast. And he needed to make sure The Light couldn’t track him. That meant he needed clothes.

Clothes, clothes… ah ha. House. He could try out a little thievery along with his escape attempt. That shirt and cloak looked like they would work well. And then if he could find the docks everyone talked about being nearby, he could add stowaway to the whole thing too.

Yeah, this could work. This was working.

Time to become a clothing thief and not think about the way that your brother doesn’t care if you get hurt or not. No big deal.

…

It took Remus barely a couple minutes to realize what a crime it was that he had not been on a pirate ship before today.

Okay, granted, it may not be fair to call these people he had never met pirates. He had no real way of knowing if they were. Technically he had never seen any of them, as the second he’d managed to sneak past the crew he’d hidden beneath the deck in what appeared to be a cargo hold, and pushed a number of boxes against the door so that no one could open it. He had then proceeded to look out a window in hopes of watching them cast off, only to then discover that apparently this particular potentially-pirate ship could fucking fly. Well, he’d figured the propellers he’d seen on the back had to be used for something, but holy shit.

“I should have left The Light years ago,” Remus breathed to no one, craning to look out the window as much as he could. This would no doubt be a much more awe-inspiring experience if he could have been on the deck to watch the ship launch into the air holy shit, but it was still incredible to watch the water and the village that he’d left behind grow smaller beneath him. He had originally planned on staying on this ship just long enough to make it to another village or other land of some sort, but Remus felt it was safe to say that plan was now under thorough revision.

The ship leveled out in the air after a couple minutes of soaring upwards and Remus staring out the window grinning like he was seven years old again and Logan had just found the contraband astronomy book.

He wasn’t sure how long the journey was going to take if they were airborne, but now that he was actually gone and reasonably safe so long as no one discovered him, Remus could move on to the next problem on his list— food.

He was pretty sure he’d passed a kitchen on the panicked rush down here, but getting there when no one else was would be the issue. Obviously he’d have to wait until after everyone was asleep, but that unfortunately left him who knows how many hours of staying down here and craning his head out the window.

Remus sat on a crate and leaned back against the wall of the ship. Or he could always sleep. He definitely needed some way to regain energy, and if he didn’t have any access to food, sleep could do.

Remus looked warily at the door he’d blocked. He was fairly confident in it holding, but that didn’t mean he should take a stupid risk.

He tucked his legs underneath him. He supposed whether or not taking a nap was a smart idea depended on whether or not the people on this ship would instantly kill him if they discovered him.

…And he supposed that probably depended on whether or not these people were pirates.

Roman would probably be able to charm any of them and barely have to try. He probably wouldn’t even have had to steal civilian clothes like Remus had. He wasn’t a terrible actor if he tried, but he rarely had the attention span to actually do so, and most of his efforts there were already taken up by hiding so many things from Roman and Logan.

Maybe he should have brought Roman along.

No, he decided barely a second later. Roman apparently would have snitched or called him out for the coward he was being, running from Shane like it was something he wasn’t supposed to be able to handle.

Remus stifled a yawn and gave one last glance at the door before deciding it was worth it and he needed to sleep. He shifted so he could lean against the wall in a more comfortable position, and fell asleep as his eyes barely slipped shut.

It felt like a couple seconds later when someone called “What the fuck is this?” and Remus jerked awake. The door on the other side of the room was open partially.

“Dammit, who moved the boxes in front of the door again? If it was fucking Steven—”

Remus climbed down off the box as quickly and quietly as he could and ducked behind the one next to it. He took a couple second to take deep breaths to try and shake off being woken abruptly.

He had mostly calmed down by the time the person at the door managed to shove the boxes away from it and enter. He had at least calmed down to the point that he could breathe quietly. The person across the room was grumbling about killing someone named Steven later, and sounded so angry that Remus took a moment to offer his condolences to this Steven person that he had never met.

He heard the person fumble with some boxes on the other side of the room, and felt a slight bit of relief for as long as it took for the person to then cross the room and open the box right about his head.

Shit.

Remus held his breath and waited for a good ten seconds as the person rummaged in the box above him. Eventually the noise stopped.

Please be putting the lid back and leaving, please be putting the lid back and leaving, please be—

“Excuse me?”

Dammit.

Remus looked up and met gazes with a person who looked a mixture of surprised and angry at what was happening right now.

“Might I ask who you are?”

“…I was hired by the captain to check the cargo hold for spiders,” Remus said.

“Oh, I see. What’s the captain’s name?”

“…Peter Pumpkineater.”

The person above him did not look amused. They turned halfway behind them and called out. “Jackson! We have a stowaway!”

Remus leapt up and launched himself off the wall and over the person’s head. He could thank training for that. Before the person could react he was sprinting towards the door and the person who had shown up in it, who Remus imagined must have been Jackson. He slid down onto the ground and between his legs, then leapt up again and ran for the stairs he’d seen earlier. He sprinted back who must have been the crew, but caught enough of them by surprise and managed to elbow the others into the wall or leap over their heads. He made it to the stairs and got up them in a couple large strides… where he was now stuck on the deck of a ship in mid air.

How exactly had he expected this plan to go again?

Remus was going to make a last desperate dash for the crow’s nest (that’s what it was called, right?) when he was finally snatched up by the hood of his cloak that he’d stolen because it made him look like a peasant. He was severely regretting that decision now.

“So,” said the person, who had shifted so he now had him by the arm. He spun Remus around so they were both facing the rest of the crew that was emerging from below deck and walking around from the other side of it. “Would any of the crew of this ship, who are supposed to check for stowaways before we launch, like to explain what exactly this person is doing here?”

Remus heard another firm set of footfalls behind the person who was holding on to him. He turned to see who couldn’t have been anyone but the captain. He was wearing one of those hats that Remus always thought was stupid, and a long cloak. The way he stood also made clear that he had authority over everything happening right now. The snake tattoos on the side of his face were a little unorthodox, Remus thought, although he supposed he had no real way to know.

“No? No one wants to speak up?” the person holding Remus asked, and Remus looked back over at him. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to ask the stowaway himself. Care to explain?”

The person turned to face him. He had the same look that Shane did whenever he was clearly viewing Remus as stupid for not speaking up yet.

…He was not doing this again.

Remus reeled back slightly and spit in the person’s face.

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then the captain burst into laughter behind them. Remus and the other person both turned in shock to face him.

“Janus!” the other person snapped, wiping Remus’ spit off his face.

“Oh, that was brilliant,” Janus said. “You,” he pointed at Remus. “You have the audacity to— oh, I like you.”

Remus wasn’t quite sure what was happening right now. Clearly the other person did, as he was now looking remarkably irritated. “Janus!”

Janus continued to laugh for another couple seconds while the other person continued to glare. “This is why Dad doesn’t fucking respect you!” he yelled.

Janus gasped in a way that was clearly not offended in the slightest. “I am wounded.” He glanced over at Remus. “You’re coming to my quarters. We’re having a chat.” He then glanced at the crew behind them. “And everyone else, get back to work! I’m not paying you to stand around and stare at stowaways who spit in Virgil’s face.”

Everyone else on the deck clearly wasn’t nearly as intimidated by Janus as he thought they were, because they reacted as if that wasn’t worrying of any kind, and took their sweet time ambling either back below deck or back to whatever job they’d been doing before.

Janus turned back to Remus, and Virgil finally let go of his arm. “Well then?”

“I’m not going to go into a closed space with you,” Remus said instantly. “You could stab me and drag my guts out through my stomach.”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “Heard some nasty stories about pirates, have you?”

“So you are pirates. Nice to know. Still not going into any enclosed spaces.”

Janus shrugged. “Fair enough. Come on, we can talk up here.” He turned and started towards the back of the ship, where two sets of stairs on opposite sides led to the wheel. Virgil took a step closer to Remus and raised an eyebrow. Remus stuck out his tongue and followed Janus back to and up the stairs. They stopped in front of the wheel, which Janus adjusted slightly before turning to face Remus again, as Virgil leaned against the barrier to the rest of the ship that was behind the wheel.

“So,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow. “How did you manage to not be found?”

“I hid in the cargo hold,” Remus said, because there was no real reason to hide such a thing. “Shoved a bunch of boxes in front of the door. It’s not my fault your crew sucks at figuring out when someone’s sneaking past them.”

Janus raised an eyebrow, looking more amused than anything else. “You should watch yourself. Insulting a captain’s crew while standing three feet from him is generally not a smart move.”

“Neither is spitting in the first mate’s face, and you didn’t seem to have any issues with that,” Virgil grumbled.

“Well don’t look at me like I’m an idiot then,” Remus snapped before Janus could reply. “I managed to avoid getting captured by all of you long enough to take a fucking nap in the cargo hold.”

Remus expected Virgil to scowl or snap back, but all that happened was that he gave him a curious look. “What gave the impression that I thought you were an idiot? It can’t be easy to sneak past an entire crew, even if they are preoccupied with a launch.”

Remus wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. Virgil had done the look. The look always meant he’d done something stupid.

Somehow, Virgil seemed to understand what Remus was thinking about. “That’s the tone and look I use when the crew is being stupid,” he said. “You were just caught in the crossfire. It had nothing to do with you. I barely even know you, how could I have an opinion of you?”

That… was a fair point.

“Well, you know, other than the fact that you snuck onto my ship when we weren’t expecting you and stowaways aren’t generally something you want,” Virgil continued with a casual wave, like his last sentence hadn’t even mattered.

“It’s my ship,” Janus said, shooting Virgil a not-at-all-irritated look. “And I decide how we feel about stowaways. Besides, I like this one. He spit in your face.”

“Wow, love you too, Jan,” Virgil grumbled.

Janus turned back to face Remus again, raising an eyebrow. “Where are you from?”

The answer came to Remus’ mind and a million memories ran through his head in half a second. Raiding the kitchens as a group of four, even as Patton whispered every time how this was the last time he was doing this. Tackling Roman in training, or away from the good breakfast food, or just because he wanted to. Stargazing with Logan pointing at stars and naming them. Wednesday night meetings with Shane, filled with berating and bruising, coming back to his room with injuries to hide from his brother. Going to Patton the miracle nurse when his injuries were too bad to ignore. And then the very recent and still painful memory of Roman brushing off Shane like he wasn’t a big deal when he apparently knew everything Shane did to him.

Remus considered for a second saying this. He could probably cover everything with something along the lines of “Well, I grew up in The Light and I had this supervisor who would hurt me all the time which is of course very normal because my brother and my friend knows about it and never seemed to think it was a big deal, but I apparently can’t deal with it anymore without being a pussy, so I ran away and now I’m here. Wait, you guys don’t hate soldiers from The Light, do you? Because if you do I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

Yeah. Yeah, bad idea. He might have been famous for those, but he didn’t really want to walk the plank today. Wait, was that actually something pirates did?

“I,” Remus said instead. “Grew up in the rural town of Buttfuck Nowhere.”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “Does this town of yours have an actual name?”

“You probably haven’t heard of it, it’s called Potsfield,” Remus said.

It seemed to convince Janus if his small nod was anything to go by. “Potsfield?”

“Yeah, town that’s truly going nowhere. I’ve had a very tragic life. You know, house burned down when I was a baby, grew up in an orphanage with no family or siblings of any kind, decided I didn’t want to die in obscurity, started traveling from town to town looking for some way to make a name for myself, ran out of money and needed a ride, and here I am.”

Janus nodded again. “Uh-huh.” He glanced back at Virgil for a minute. Remus couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

Virgil shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one who said this is your ship.”

“Okay,” Janus said. “Well, that was clearly the most bullshit story I have ever heard.”

“What? No, I—”

“Relax. I’m not going to make you share your past if you don’t want to. But if you’re going to stay here—”

“That’s an option?” Remus interrupted in surprise.

“If you want to. Virgil can show you the ropes.”

“You’re sticking me with training duty?” Virgil asked, sounding more than a little irritated.

“Oh, you’ll get along swimmingly. Look at how great your first impression was.” Janus looked back at Remus. “Would you want to stay here?”

“You have a flying pirate ship. Who wouldn’t?”

Janus laughed. “Fair enough. But my point is, if you’re staying here, we need to know you won’t bring anything else with you. You don’t have to share your past if you don’t want to, but is it going to bring any kind of danger?”

“No,” Remus said instantly. He hadn’t been anything other than a base level soldier, who knew no important information of any kind. “No one from my life is going to care that I’m gone.”

Janus nodded. “Alright. Then I don’t see any issues with you staying here. Virgil can help show you how to do some jobs on the ship, and lunch is in a couple hours. We can talk more then, because there’s a couple other things we’ll have to—”

“Janus!” a voice called from down below. “The stowaway moved all of the cargo around!”

Remus winced and looked back over at Janus, who thankfully looked more amused than irritated. “Alright, Virgil will be there in just a second to help!” he called.

“I hate you,” Virgil said, glaring at Janus, even as he headed down to help the person who had called up to him.

Remus glanced back at Janus, who was moving back towards the steering wheel. He wasn’t quite sure what to do next since Janus had just sent the person who was supposed to train him down to the cargo hold to fix the mess he’d caused. Which was weird. Remus was supposed to clean up his own messes and get beaten up when he inevitably did something wrong.

Remus blinked as a thought struck him. If he had snuck onto these people’s ship and hidden in their cargo hold, and they’d welcomed him onto their ship and were apparently going to let him stay without raising a single hand against him, maybe… maybe they wouldn’t?

The next second Remus wanted to laugh. That was ridiculous. Just because they hadn’t done so yet didn’t mean they wouldn’t reach that point eventually. It was fine. Remus was used to it anyway, he could take it. The more important part of this morning was the fact that he… wasn’t in The Light anymore.

Holy shit. That was going to take some getting used to. He was going to have to spend some time thinking about that. He wasn’t even sure where to start.

Remus looked across the ship and into the sky beyond. Below them was water, around them were actual clouds. He took in the wind blowing his hair back from his face, the sunlight shining off the water below, the birds flying next to them, how clean the air felt. He took a deep breath and decided that he very much understood people’s love of sea air. He could get high off this shit.

He was pretty sure Janus was watching him with amusement from nearby, but he couldn’t really find it in himself to care. He was away from Shane, away from The Light, away from the place that had made him spend his life in darkness and pain.

Remus took a deep breath of cold sea air.

So this is what freedom felt like.

Chapter Two

#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #pirates #rebellion #angst #abuse #tw abuse #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #my fic

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fangirlovestuff · 3 years

Text

A Very Colin Christmas - Colin Shea x reader

Ch.3 - Meet The Family

ch.1 ch.2

a/n - Hey lovely people!! I hope you’re having a wonderful day and here’s the third chapter, enjoy!!<3

Summary: The big weekend arrives and you get to meet Colin’s family. Your plan’s going smoothly, they seem to like you. But there might be another problem...

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: curse words, innuendos, annoying relatives

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The big weekend has arrived, and in hindsight, you should've been more prepared.

You were sitting in your living room when you heard a flurry of voices from outside your door. Getting up and putting your ear to the door, you tried to realize what was happening.

"Colin dear, how are you?" a feminine voice was saying. "You know, I've just realized I don't think I've ever been to your apartment," she, who you assumed was his mother, continued.

"First time for everything, mom," you heard Colin's voice affirming your thoughts. "Come in," he said, and after a few moments you heard a door shutting and the voices died down. You went back and sat down on your sofa before getting up again and getting dressed, assuming Colin would ask you to come soon.

When you got dressed, you went over the details in your head one last time. Colin's parents were staying with him, Andy and his family were staying at a hotel nearby. You and Colin were serious, but didn't live together yet. He told you to act like yourself, just "double in love than you already were".

"Double zero is still zero, Colin. Don't make me regret I'm doing this," you had said.

"Okay, okay," he had laughed.

Now, you were standing in front of your mirror, examining yourself. But it was a poor distraction from the thoughts going through your mind. There was an awful lot of them, but the general point was – am I really going to do this?

Because when you had met Colin, you said you were going to be just friends, and that you were never going to let yourself feel anything more for him, because there was no way he would reciprocate. And you couldn't help but think that this little favor was really a recipe for disaster.

Just then you got a text from Colin that read "be here in ten pls".

Realizing this wasn't really time to rethink this, you shook your head. Then, you put on some lipstick and shoes, and grabbed a jacket and a purse. Colin's family didn't know you were neighbors, and if the plan succeeds, they wouldn't realize it.

Ten minutes later, you were knocking on Colin's door. It opened to reveal a man about as tall as Colin, but he was a bit older. His beard was neatly trimmed, his hair a bit darker than Colin's but you immediately saw the resemblance. The eyes. Looking at his face, you resisted the urge to sigh. Damn, I didn't realize everyone in this family got the pretty gene. So unfair.

"Hey," the man said with a smile. "I'm-''

"Andy, right? Colin's brother?" you said with a smile.

"Exactly," he chuckled. "And I assume you're Colin's girlfriend?"

"So you've heard of me?" you said playfully and then told him your name.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you. And for the record, all I heard about you were good things," he extended his hand to you and you shook it before he gestured for you to get in and followed you inside.

You made your way to the living room, where the entire family was sitting. His mom and dad were on the couch with who you assumed were Laurie and Jacob, Andy's wife and kid, while Colin was sitting on a chair from the kitchen. Your entrance stopped the conversation they were having, whatever it was about, as they all looked up at you.

"Merry Christmas!" you greeted them all before Colin saved you from having to think of anything else to say. He got up and made his way to wrap his arm around you, gesturing towards the chair he just got up from. "Sit down babe, I'll go get another chair," he smiled.

You smiled back at him in what you hoped was a lovey way. "Thank you," you drew out the 'you' before going to sit and introducing yourself to his family. They introduced themselves, and their smiles were inviting and warm. Colin's mom, Eleanor exchanged a look with his dad William, but it didn't seem to be a menacing one. At first glance, everything was going great.

Andy sat down on the other chair that was there. "So, what do you do?" he asked you with a smile.

You told him about your actual job, thankful it wasn't anything Colin-related. In the meantime, Colin came back with a chair and sat down next to you, taking your hand and squeezing it in his before resting your joint palms on his lap.

"How come you're spending Christmas with us?" Laurie asked with a smile. Her question seemed a little less genuine. You didn't know if you were reading into it too much, but it seemed like she was asking you 'Oh, what makes you think you can join our family? Get your own.'

But that was probably paranoia. I mean, that would be crazy.

"Well," you answered, "my family couldn't really do Christmas together this year, since my dad has a work thing, so we decided to meet up in a week instead, for new year's. When Colin heard I had no plans, he invited me to meet you guys, and how could I say no to that?" you smiled and looked at Colin as you said the last part.

"Tell me," Eleanor leaned forward, "with a job like yours, aren't you hoping Colin gets a profession that's a little more… professional, maybe?"

If you thought Laurie might be passive aggressive, there was no room for error with Eleanor. At second glance, things might not be going that great.

"Wow, getting straight to business, mom," Colin chuckled.

"What, I wanna hear what she has to say," she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Colin's very professional at what he does already," you offered, "And I know it's what he wants to do, so I want that for him too," you clutched Colin's hand and smiled at him.

"I see," she nodded. There was an awkward silence before Colin spoke up.

"So Jacob, how's school?"

"Great," he said without even looking up from his phone.

"I'm a little hungry," you said, "Colin, let’s go get the food out," you smiled and got up.

"After you," he gestured and followed you to the kitchen. His kitchen had no door, but it was far enough from the living room that when you heard voices of conversation, you felt okay about whispering to Colin.

"What the hell?" you whispered as you took some boxes out of the fridge.

"I know," he whispered back, "I told you they were a lot. Sorry."

"It’s okay, it's not your fault. But damn, they are definitely… interesting."

You heated up the food and brought it to the living room table. A few days ago, when you and Colin had sat here, he was smiling, and the light from the Christmas décor created a very warm atmosphere. Now, the same room somehow seemed manufactured, unauthentic, and Colin's smile seemed the same.

You had dinner without any touchy subjects coming up, thankfully. While they were talking about a case Andy was handling as the district attorney, you figured what Colin was trying to say about him. Andy wasn't a bad person, didn't seem like a bad husband or father or brother or son as well. But that was the thing about him. He was so perfect it was almost unsettling, it made you want to prod around until you realized what was wrong with him. Hell, he almost made you feel inadequate, so you could imagine what it was like for Colin, who has him as a big brother.

As dinner was coming to an end, you excused yourself, saying you should probably get back home. Colin got up and handed you your jacket from the hanger, like a good boyfriend should, when –

"Hey, you two are under the mistletoe!" Laurie exclaimed with a smile. You looked up, realizing she was right.

"Oh," you giggled, "I guess we are."

You rose on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek, but at the same moment he turned his head, resulting in you planting a kiss on his lips. You stifled a squeak of surprise when he put his hand on your lower back, pulling you closer for a moment before breaking the kiss.

"Goodnight," you smiled at everyone, avoiding Colin's eyes.

"We'll see you tomorrow, right?" Eleanor asked.

You were tempted to say no. Colin was the one who broke the rules, and his family was admittedly kind of annoying. But when you snuck a peek at him from the corner of your eye, you saw the look on his face.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," you waved and promptly left, closing the door behind you.

Later, you found yourself in bed, struggling to fall asleep. You were almost mad at yourself for not making up an excuse and telling them you won't be able to make it tomorrow, But then you remembered the look on Colin's face. It was so hopeful, and you couldn't let him down.

You know, because you keep your promises to your friends. Nothing more. It's not the way his eyes were shining in awe. Or how soft his lips were when you kissed him. Or how right it felt to have his hand on the small of your back, pulling you in.

Definitely not.

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feedback is always welcome!!<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12

A Very Colin Christmas Taglist: @janaygrant

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#chris evans x reader #colin shea x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans fluff #colin shea fluff #colin shea x female reader

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remus-sanders-is-the-bestest · 3 years

Note

“Don’t be scared, don’t be scared! I don’t want to hurt you!”

I’m going to mix this prompt with the prompt “be careful out there, the human might see you!”

The sides are a family of borrowers: Janus and Patton are parents, Logan is the oldest child, Roman and Remus are the middle children and Virgil is the youngest.

Thomas is the human.

(The twins will be close but do NOT tag as remrom, as they are siblings both in cannon and in my story)

———————————————————————

Roman wished he listened. But he had finally figured out the best way to watch those movies that the bean was so fond of. The bean had moved the tv to a different spot in the room. The perfect spot to watch from an open vent in the bottom corner of the room. And he could still keep an eye on the bean! (Because the vent was really close to the couch where the bean watches cartoons)

When he told the younger borrower what he was going to do, he started flipping out. “No! The human will see you! I won’t let you!” He eventually gave in. “I can’t stop you, can I? Fine but be careful up there,” he had said “the human might see you”

Roman thought back on this bitterly. Of course he didn’t listen to his brother! The one time that he didn’t, he got captured. He felt like it was forever ago, but it was less that two hours. He hadn’t even managed to finish the movie! It might as well of been forever, though, since that’s when Roman thinks he will see his family again. He was trapped in a jar with a human staring at him.

He was as good as dead. He was terrified when the human pulled out his phone, scared that he would call a scientist or an exterminator, someone that would murder his family and himself. He started pressing himself against one of the curved wall of the jar, trying his best to get as far away from the human as possible.

The bean did not seem to notice his obvious terror, just looking at his phone and carrying on dialling whoever he was dialling.

“Nico, I need you to come over here”

“Not that I’m complaining, but why?” the voice from the other end of the line said, and Roman could almost picture someone raising their eyebrows.

“I need a second opinion on whether I am or am not going crazy”

“... fine, but only for you”

Roman was just getting more and more nervous as the short conversation ended. He will be seen by another human. It was then that the bean finally looked over, noticing the visibly upset and panicked state the borrower was in.

“Shit. Um,” Roman flinched at the loud words that were directed at him. Thomas sofened his tone “don’t be scared, don’t be scared! I don’t want to hurt you!”

Roman yelped as Thomas moved his arms. Trying to keep his mind off of the terrifying situation at hand, his mind involuntarily wondered to his family. He and Remus, despite their fights, had never managed to be away from each other for more than 7 hours. Not even in a different room in their small house. They both would be tearing themselves apart from the inside if Roman couldn’t get free or if they didn’t rescue him.

Virgil would blame himself for not alerting his family earlier, despite Roman swearing him to secrecy.

Logan wouldn’t let his mask of calmness fall until alone, just himself or with Remus, Roman suspected. He knew that Logan felt that as the oldest, he had a responsibility to help look after the younger siblings, even if it wasn’t necessary. To Logan, this included not showing weakness.

His dad (Patton) would be a wreck. His papa (Janus) would try to reassure his family but everyone would know that it was near hopeless to try to free him.

Distantly, he could recognise the sound of knocking at the door.

Without realising it, the thoughts about Romans family had reduced him to tears. He didn’t notice until a sob escaped his body.

Still scared out of his mind, Roman let out another sob at the thought of what might happen when the second human catches sight of him. His mind helpfully supplied all the things that Remus had ever said about being captured.

He was snapped out of these thoughts by two pairs of large footsteps. Still crying, he nervously looked up at the two humans. Another sob escaped his body, as he thought about what would happen. Would he be crushed? Eaten? He didn’t know what was going to happen and it was unsettling. He pressed his back against the edge of the glass. He knew that the humans were talking, but he couldn’t hear them through the glass and the thumping of his heart.

———————————————————————

Thomas greeted his boyfriend at the door.

“Hi, there is a tiny person on my table, and I put him in a jar, but he’s terrified and I regret putting him in the jar but I can’t let him out because that means scaring him more by getting super duper close and my reassurances have gotten nowhere so I don’t know if he can understand me. Please help” Thomas rambled quickly.

Nico took a few seconds to process the, quite frankly, unbelievable news. “Okayyyy then? Can I see the ‘tiny person’ and possibly lower his fear levels then?”

Thomas nodded and led Nico to the living room, where there was indeed a tiny person crying to himself in a jar. The small boy looked up hesitantly and let out an audible sob, scrambling to get as far away from the two humans as possible, pressing his impossibly small body into the back of the jar.

“I swear he wasn’t crying when I got up to answer the door”

“I-I think he might be just a tad bit overwhelmed. I’d imagine getting captured by someone so big in comparison to you can’t be very good for mental health. I’m sure that he’ll trust you eventually, but you’ll have to move him to a larger space that isn’t a jar”

They looked at the tiny man, who stared straight back, eyes wide with fear as he obviously didn’t take in a single word being said. It made Thomas pity him, he obviously didn’t know English, so Thomas didn’t know how to communicate with him.

———————————————————————

It was about an hour after this little interaction when the rest of the borrowers got worried. They asked around the small family to see if anyone had seen Roman or knew where he was. When they got to Virgil, he just couldn’t bring himself to lie, and even if he did, his papa had always managed to tell when he was lying.

When he told them, everyone was freaking out, Remus, his dad and his papa mostly. Somehow Logan had stayed calm. At least on the outside.

Remus tried his best to not jump to conclusions, but movies don’t take this long. If they do something apart from each other they always hurry back. He couldn’t help the tears that managed to escape.

Patton broke down crying, one of his kiddos had probably been captured, or worse. He didn’t want to think of the worse option, but the best case scenario was still so bad. Why couldn’t he have protected his son? He was probably the worst dad in existence!

Janus went out to search the tunnels, just in case, but when he was going past the living room, he saw something that crushed the small glimmer of hope that he had. A cage, with two humans staring into it, at something that was so unmistakably a borrower. He would never admit it, but he cried. He had to leave quickly, so he didn’t have the same fate as his son, and so he could inform his family of the terrible news.

He managed to catch Romans eye before he left though, mouthing that they will find a way to get him back home.

After he ran out of sight, from both the borrower and humans, hearing as he collapsed “why do you think he was looking at the vent?”

“That’s where I found him, I think he might want to go back, but I don’t think it would be good for him to leave, it’s probably dangerous in the walls”

“More like you want a pet, or scientific discovery, and don’t care who it affects” Janus grumbled under his breath, hating to admit that that was the most likely reason that they wanted to have his son. They didn’t know the pain that they were causing the family, but Janus thought that they wouldn’t care either way. They were humans for goodness sake.

Humans have never cared about things smaller than them.

When Janus got back to his small house, his face was covered in tears and he could barely get the words out.

“Th-the hum-human— an-and- cage” he collapsed, sobbing into his husbands arms.

-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-

That’s the end. Should I make part two?

Edit: link to part two

#remus sanders #roman sanders #thomas sanders #character thomas #nico flores #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #borrower virgil #borrower roman #borrower Remus #borrower Janus #borrower Patton #borrower Logan #sanders sides au #sanders sides g/t

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stormcrawler75 · 4 years

Note

"Definately just a cold" -Merperson puberty? (Ala The Thirteenth Year)

Warnings: Sickness and rashes

Summary: Logan is the Stepfather of two boys, Janus and Virgil. And his Husband, Patton, might have been keeping some secrets about the boy’s father that are about to come to light. The question is, how should Logan respond?

Characters: Logan, Patton, Virgil, Janus, and mentions of Remus.

I will reblog this with the taglist tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s just a cold, Patton,” Logan said softly, trying to stay calm as his Husband panicked in the background. He was standing in front of the oven, stirring a large pot of tomato bisque. He could hear his twin stepsons from their rooms, both of them coughing hard. “They probably just caught something while they were swimming the other day. It is no reason to worry. A terrible way to spend their birthday though.” Especially since this was the first one that Logan was going to spend with them as their stepfather. He had had so much planned to. Hopefully, the two of them would be fine with a bowl of tomato bisque and a glass of flat ginger ale instead of a dinner at their favourite restaurant.

Patton paced behind him, chewing on his thumbnail anxiously. “Right,” he muttered, staring at the ground. He looked distracted like he wasn’t fully listening to what Logan was saying. “Definitely just a cold. As long as we can get past today then,” he cut himself off, his jaw closing with a click.

Logan gave him a frown over his shoulder. “It is not that bad of a cold, Love. Just a bad cough.”

“They have rashes,” Patton muttered. “The exact same rash on their necks. How do you not find that strange?”

“I wouldn’t call it strange,” Logan said, turning to face him, crossing his arms over his chest. “We’ve already had a doctor over and they are very mild. It’s probably either a very mild allergic reaction - which we have EpiPens for - or, most likely, stress. You know how stressed the two of them have been lately.” He stepped forward, putting a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “Darling, they’re both fine. Hardly happy about spending their thirteenth birthdays in bed but medically? They’re two very healthy boys.”

But Patton didn’t seem to take in his reassurances at all, shrugging off Logan’s hand and wringing his own anxiously. “I should’ve known this would happen, I should’ve! Remus told me that this would happen!”

“Remus?” Logan felt a headache looming and had to fight the urge to sit down. “Your ex-husband?”

“Do I know any other Remus,” Patton asked sharply, spinning around on his heel. The two of them stared at each other with mirror expressions of surprise, Logan at the tone Patton was using and Patton at just how sharp his voice was. “I’m sorry,” Patton whispered, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“It’s alright,” Logan said gently, uncrossing his arms and leaning back against the counter. “Patton, it’s okay. But I feel as if I am attempting to complete an equation but have only been given one number with an equation full of variables. You have to tell me what’s happening. What exactly did Remus tell you?”

Patton hesitated for a long moment before shaking his head and grabbing two empty bowls from the cupboard. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Patton-”

“It doesn’t,” Patton said firmly. “Like you said, it’s just a cold.”

Logan watched Patton closely, seeing how tense Patton was standing and how he was glancing at the two seashells on the counter. The last and only gifts that Remus had left for his sons before they had even been born. The gifts that Remus had apparently made Patton swear to wait until Janus and Virgil were thirteen to give them. Patton was hiding something. “Remus is their biological father,” Logan said gently. “It could be that he knows of a health issue in his family. Should we bring them to a hospital for a second look?”

“It’s not a medical issue,” Patton sighed, turning to Logan with two full bowls of bisque. “You have to trust me on this, Lolo. It’s... it’s something from Remus’ side that he said would show up on their thirteen birthday. I never really believed him about it but... all of this...”

“What is it, Love?” Logan leaned down and cupped Patton’s cheek, smiling when Patton leaned into his hand. “Please tell me.”

Patton hesitated. “You’re gonna think it’s crazy. Heck, I don’t even believe it. Before now, I thought it was just another one of Remus’ crazy stories. But there are too many things that line up here.”

Logan chuckled. “My Love, life is full of mysteries. You could tell me that Remus said that those boys would grow horns today and I would just focus on cutting holes into their hats for them. Let me in on this secret, Darling.” He gently rubbed circles into Patton’s cheek. “Please?”

There was a long silence. “... Tails, not horns.”

Logan blinked in surprise. “I’m sorry?”

“He said that they’d grow tails,” Patton whispered, gaze drifting down to the ground. “And gills. Or sharp teeth and long talons. Or all four. He told me that he was... um, well, not exactly a Mermaids. He said his mother was a Mermaid and his father was a Siren. Apparently, he took after his father and his twin took after his mother. So, Janus and Virgil have-”

“Human, Siren, and Mermaid blood in their DNA,” Logan hummed, hand falling from Patton’s cheek. He tapped his chin thoughtfully, pursing his lips. Well, that was... that was just utter nonsense.

Patton continued talking, wringing his hands nervously. “He told me that half Mermaids and Sirens come into their blood on their thirteen birthdays. I don’t know if they’ll come into their Mermaid blood or Siren blood but from the way things are looking, they’re going to come into one and I don’t know what to do,” he cried, eyes pooling with tears.

Logan stared at Patton, expression softening with every second. Utter nonsense... that his Husband believed. Well, that was that then. “Then I suppose we should prepare then,” he hummed, taking the bowls from Patton and turning to put them into the microwave.

“What,” Patton asked dumbly, staring at him in confusion. “Prepare?”

“Of course. I will go and get the truck warmed. You go and bring the boys down, along with some blankets to keep Janus and Virgil warm. I’ll grab some firewood and my matches. We can start a fire on the beach,” Logan explained, grabbing the truck keys from the counter. “We have hotdogs, correct? That shouldn’t upset their stomachs much.”

Patton stepped in front of Logan, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Love, what are you talking about?”

Logan arched an eyebrow. “Getting the boys close to the beach, of course. On the chance that you’re correct then we’ll want to make sure that they’re close to saltwater in case they grow gills. And if they get through the rest of the day without growing gills then it will just be a good story about how we threw them an impromptu birthday celebration on the beach.” He shrugged. “I’ll admit, I find the whole thing about Sirens and Mermaids hard to believe. However, I’d rather be safe than sorry. For now, let us just get things-” he stumbled back as Patton surged forward, cupping Logan’s cheeks and pressing a passionate kiss to his lips that Logan slowly melted into.

When he pulled back, there was a large grin on Patton’s face and the tears in his eyes were from relief rather than helplessness. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you so much.”

“Anything for you,” Logan whispered, a smile tugging at his lips. “Forever and always, My Love. I will always do whatever I can to help you and our boys. And now, let’s go get ready for our beach celebration. And to throw our boys into the sea if it comes to that.”

#storm writes #Bad Things Happen Bingo #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Janus Sanders #Virgil Sanders #mentions of Remus Sanders #Mermaid puberty #Sirens #Mermaids #tw colds #tw rashes #Anonymous

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kanene-yaaay · 3 years

Text

Happy Birthday ~

Kanene’s note: DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IS TODAY? WEEEELLL, I sure hope so because I completely forgot ;-;. BUUUUUUT I REMEMBER VERY WELL THAT 4TH OF THIS SAME MONTH WAS @oliviaischillin1204 BIRTHDAY SOOOOO YAAAAAAY!!! Thank you so much for being such a lovely, wonderful, cool, amazing, sweet, crazy, fabulous person that I really look up to, Ollie! <33

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to Thomas Sanders and his series Sanders Sides!

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic, so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of fabulous arts in this site!! ^w^)b

* This is Ler!Patton and Lee!Logan with Lee!Logan. Around 4.000 words.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Como é um presente, essa fanfic não será traduzida! Sleep a bit more today, drink water, give something nice to yourself and I hope you’re having a really nice day (Especially you, Olivia!!) <33

[~*~]

Logan opened his eyes, quickly turning off his alarm before it had the chance to wake Patton up. He held his breath as he turned to the other, observing his chest go up and down peacefully on his sleeping. The most serious one sighed in relief, feeling the butterflies flying in his tum- no, none of that silly nickname – stomach as he remembered which day was today.

Today was his birthday, an annual event which he usually wouldn’t give more attention to than to thank everyone’s well wishes, give himself a whole jar of crofter’s jam and take the day off from his non-essential tasks.

At least… things used to be like that before he met Patton.

A persistent wobbly smile found its way to his lips, thinking about the tradition the cat lover began after a few years of friendship.

He firmly shook his head out of the memories, putting his glasses on and looking at the clock to confirm his thoughts. Yes, it was six AM. Perfect. This year Logan decided he was going to be resilient and in any circumstance he would fall into Patton’s attics. It didn’t matter what it was. He was a serious, determined, smart and strong adult. He could endure some silly, untrue teases.

Logan sat on the mattress, careful to not bother his partner, firmly ignoring the buzzing feeling on his nerves taking over his entire body. He grabbed his phone and unlocked it, every and any distractions being very welcomed from the recordations beginning to swirl in his brain.

Then, in a flash, a shock hit him in the moment his eyes locked themselves in the picture being used as his new phone’s background. A picture that was not there the night before. A picture of him. Of his completely red face, his lips parted in a gigantic smile, eyes firmly closed, hair falling on his expression as his hands gripped there, doing their best to not stop the hand which wormed its way to his unbuttoned shirt.

Real Logan pressed his hand over his mouth, suppressing a surprised yelp that for very little didn’t echo on the room. Only then he noticed the bright notification on his screen.

The one wearing glasses needed a whole minute to tear his gaze apart from the background, feeling the butterflies to get more and more restless as he read the name of who sent him a message the day before, at exactly 11:56.

[Patt-on/Patt-off: Happy birthday, Lo-lo! Prepared for your b-day surprise?~ :3c]

Suddenly two arms involved his waist, leading him to jump and to the touch get a bit firmer, -yet so gentle, - pulling his back to rest on a warm chest, a head resting on his shoulder and tickly, whispered sentences being spoken absurdly next to his so ticklish ear.

“I gotcha. ~” A series of goosebumps ran across his spine and Logan attempted to squirm to his freedom from the nuzzling and muffled words seeming to buzz and spread in every inch of his neck, sensation being not even a bit helped by the quick pokes and pinches on his sides, “I gotcha, gotcha, gotcha ya, my tickly ticklish little squeaky toy!! Oh, no, what he is going to do? Hm? What is he going to do to escape from the Tickle Monster?”

“P-pa-Patton!” His hands flew to hold the wrists of the one called, who just rested his lips in the spot that connected his neck with his shoulders and chuckled before humming innocently. “Please, please! I ask for you to reconsider! We’re both intelligent, rational adults and I am sure that there is an answer which will satisfy both of us!” Small, fast raspberries were placed in that same spot and Logan, living up to his nickname, squeaked at each one, shrugging his neck. “N-no! No, no, no! Patton!! Don’t!!”

“Do you want me to reconsider?”

“Yes, yes!”

“You want me to reconsider giving you your so craved birthday little tickle, tickle tickles?”

“Falsehood!!! I do not- I can’t- I didn’t-” Logan sputtered, the blush on his cheeks gradually increasing. “I do not crave them!! Ti-tickles are silly and don’t like them!”

He sensed Patton’s smile more than he saw it. Instantly things felt like he didn’t make a so clever choice with his wording. “Oh, you don’t? ~”

Logan denied, the wobbly smile yet plastered on his face.

“Okie! I will not tickle you then, Logie Bear, okay?” The one wearing a star themed pajama yelped when the wrists on his hold twisted their way to gently intertwine their fingers, pulling their hands the way up to behind Patton’s neck, keeping them there until Logan locked his own fingers together. This left his torso, - owner of multiple of his ticklish spots, - open, a tingling already starting to wander across them. He wiggled. “Oh, no, no. Don’t worry, dear!” Patton combed his hair, leading the other to instantly melt into the touch. “We’re going to just talk. A chat between friends! No tickling!” He rested, then, his hands on the other’s ribs, his tune filled with joy.

“But the moment your hands go down you better be prepared because I’m going to tickle tickle tickle you silly-silly for hours and hours and hours until we’re both satisfied, okay my precious Squeaky Toy?!”

Logan’s smile only grew wider, for a second his hands trembled behind the other’s neck.

“Okay?” Patton questioned playfully, yet drops of seriousness painting his ask.

The one with blushing crawling down his neck bit lightly his lower lip, his mumble barely audible. “Light tickles during the talk?”

Patton felt his heart melt with all the cuteness, losing his façade as the tips of his fingers ran softly up and down Logan’s ribs, resulting in the aforementioned to let go of silent snorts and titters, which led the cat lover to squeal, hugging him. “Of course, precious Giggle Bug! You’re just so, so adorable and cute making such a sweet wish like this!”

“I despise you and your falsehoods. I am not cute.”

“Now, now, now, Logie bear! It’s very rude of you to try to lie for the Tickle Monster because he might will have to try to convince you to say the whoooole truth!” He sing-sang, wiggling his fingers teasingly in front of Logan. “A truth that maybe sounds like ‘I, the smart Logan Sanders, am an adorable, incredibly, horribly tickly ticklish Squeaky Toy and I just looove receiving tickle, tickle, tickles from the Tickle Monster!”

“FALSHEHOOD! I am no-nothing of this!”

“Okay!” Patton exclaimed happily, his index fingers traveling to scratch the skin behind his ears, circling and drawing shapes on the shell before slowly making his way to Logan’s red neck, quickly going back to the first spot when the other futilely attempted to protect his target.

“Soooo,” Patton made his voice the most low and possible tickly way, one more time, “are you telling me that you’re not cute? Not at all? That all that lovely blushy-blush spreading and running on your neck and these little ticklish- ops! I mean sensitive ears here are not even a bit cute?” The stars lover shook his head, attempting to hide his face on his elbow but giving up in the moment Patton took the opportunity to place a trail of butterfly kisses on his unprotected neck, receiving a squeal as prize.

“Aww, cutiepants, was that a squeal? So adorable!” Logan denied again, controlling his urge to low his arms when the other rested the tip of his nails on the spot inside his elbows, softly wriggling, teasing the nerves there. “But I do wonder why, I mean, we’re just having a good talk here, aren’t we?” He dragged his scribbles and traced down to his biceps, “just having some fun time with your cool friend Patton! No reason at all for you to be sweetly squealing or blushing or squirming like a wiggly wiggley worm! Unless…”

“This tickle tickle tickle your funny bone!” Patton gasped, delivering a poke right on the center of Logan’s armpits and making his arms to shot half of the way down before their owner could stop himself, giggling non stop. “Arms up, my helpless ticklish grumpy baby!! You’re already doing so well. I know you can endure it just a bit more!”

Logan scoffed, taking some giggly filled seconds of silence before re-adjusting his arms where they were. “Of course, I can. As I previously pointed, I am not such a childish thing as ti-ticklish.” Patton tried to stop himself from laughing, ending up snorting. “Stop laughing, you heathen. It’s the truth.” Logan gave a squeeze on the cat lover's stomach. A rare and small playful smile playing on his lips as the other yelped holding his hands away.

“Sure, sure.” Patton booped his nose before guiding his hands to the other’s armpit, waiting patiently for his friend to lock his fingers behind his neck again. An idea popped on his mind, resulting in his smile to get wider. “Hey, lo-lo! What if we sing a song?” He bounced as the other whined a protest, wiggling around.

“No, no, don’t worry! I am sure you already know the lyrics! Look, Wiggley Worm, I will start and then you follow me, okay?” Patton then positioned two fingers on the tickle spot, hearing Logan’s breath hitch as he began to circle his pits, the squirming increasing.

“Round and round the tickly pit

Goes the Logie Bear-”

“That is not how the nursery rhymes goes!”

“No? Oh, dang! I was almost certain that I was right! If only someone clever, cool and with an amazing voice who knew how to sing it correctly would help me…” Loud sigh, feigned sad head shake, “guess I will have to repeat it again and again and again and again until I recall the correct lyrics…”

The cat lover paused, for a piece of minute only hysteric titters and warm smiles filling the air.

“Round, round the helpless pit,

Goes the Blushy Bear-”

“No!” Logan yelped, slightly jumping in the same place as he felt the fingers walking, scratching their way to the center of the spot. “I can-” the rest of his words came muffled as he one more time attempted to hide his burning face on his shoulder. Guffaws escaping as Patton took, again, the opportunity to nuzzle and kiss his bare neck, “Wait, wait! I will sing.”

The attacker’s face brightened right away, stopping his tickling. “Are you serious?! Would you do that for your old Tickle Monster?”

“Y-ye-yes.” He cleaned his throat, uselessly trying to get rid of the chortles already accumulating on his chest, the figurative butterflies flying everywhere on his belly. “Yes, Ihihi can.”

“Okay, then! Whenever you’re ready!”

Logan tried to take a deep breath, however his concentration was immediately broken when the tingling sensation spread like lights across his torso. “Stohohop wiggling them! I cahahan’t sing whehen you doho that!”

“Okay, okay, blushy bear. Gotcha!”

He closed his eyes, taking another wobbly breath and failing spectacularly as the feeling of the fingers resting peacefully, so oblivious on his so exposed tickle spot felt almost unbearable. “No, nohoho! Stop!”

“Logie Bear,” Patton grinned bigger, sensing his heart to expand even further as the one with stars painted on his pajamas squealed on his hold, “This time I’m really doing nothing.” Logan growled, refusing to answer.

“Round, round the gard-EN,

Li-hihihike a teddy bear…”

Logan began to kick lightly, his sentence being more and more subdued by the high pitched laughter with drops of snorts.

“One step,” One squeak.

“Two steps,” Two squeaks.

“Aaaaand?” The attacker asked, his fingers hovering, barely grazing the skin.

“Ahahahand,” the laugh cut his phrase, his kicking increasing its speed, “ahahahand,” Logan shook his head, his arms about to give up and clue on his sides. Face burning, squirming becoming more frequent.

“Tickleoverhere!!”

Patton attacked. His arms went immediately down, his head hitting Patton’s shoulder with the force of his full laughter.

“Yes, yes! There is! There is that beautiful, wonderful, amazing laughter of yours! And and and these little snorts!!” His caring, evil friend beamed, his voice full of excitement. “It’s just the adorablest and cutest and lovely-est thing!!”

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!”

A few minutes full of scribbling, poking and scratching passed before the cat lover ceased the tickling, giving him a break effectively used to take sips of oxygen. Logan’s muscles relaxing as Patton again combed calmly his hair strands, snuggling him close.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes,” a breathless giggled response, but a response nevertheless. He suspended his arms again. “Yes, I am.”

“You’re so cute, Giggle Bug! Now, now,” Patton hugged Logan, his arms crossed on the other’s chest, leaving almost no room for squirming while his hands tapped his fingers on the soft skin of his pudgy sides, “I heard someone here has very, veeery ticklish sides that the Tickle Monster would just love to tickle, tickle, tickle! But, I don’t see to find where that ticklish baby is…” He began to dig on the spot, properly ignoring the loud snort and frantic wiggling from the star lover.

“I mean, it can’t be you, right, Logie Bear? Because you” Patton made sure to focus his tweaking on a rather… susceptible tendon which connected his sides with his back, holding his smile as the crackles exploded from the one attacked, who immediately started bouncing in the same place, “just told me you aren’t sensitive! Not even an itsy bitsy wiggly wiggley cutesy ticklish at all, right?”

“P-pahahha-PAHAHATTON!”

“What is it, baby Squeaky Toy?”

“Ple-please!!”

“Please what? I don’t think I understand what you mean, Lo-lo. There is a crazy, cutie patootie being tickled somewhere near and it’s hard to hear you with all that beautiful laughter!”

“It TICKLES!! IT TIHIHIHICKLES!”

Gasp. “It does??” But that statement only served for the other to knead further on his sides, skillfully squeezing and digging on every weak spot on it. In an explosion of energy Logan broke free from the grip, losing his balance and half falling from the bed, his hands instinctively stopping himself before he could hit the floor while his legs and waist continued laid on the mattress.

“Oh, my gosh! Logan, are you okay??” His only answer was the reminiscent laughter growing in breathless giggles. “Logan?”

When the other nodded Patton finally let his façade crumble and drop, wheezing laughter taking over his senses as his mind replayed the fall, “Oh my God! Your face, Lo! Your face was just-” and his next sentences came out silenced when he pressed his face on Logan’s arched back, snickering.

On Logan’s lower back.

The one who had just stopped his giggles did his best to hide a squeak. The sensation of Patton laughing directly on his skin together with his hitching warm breath sending electric, tickly goose bumps through all his torso. The urge to squirm and escape growing louder as his friend didn’t stayed still, lifting his head from there only to stare Logan again and immediately fall in another wave of laughter, once more shoving his face on that spot next to his side or on his spine or way too much close of his hip. The idea that this time Patton wasn’t even really trying to tickle him making the heat on his face and the urge to laugh somewhat worse.

“Ah!! Patton, stop!”

“Sorry, sorry!! I can’t, I can’t! You just screamed and fell and I-” Patton snorted and the poor ticklish Squeaky Toy tried to move his arms in an angle where he would be able to push his friend’s face away, only to realize he couldn’t do much more than mindlessly swing his upper limbs. Fuck.

It took about two long, slow minutes of quiet huffing before for the one wearing cat onesie to calm himself, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes and bringing his focus to his friend, looking at least a bit apologetically, even if the other wasn’t able to properly see it due his position.

“Sorrey, bear. I forgot how ticklish you are on your sides.” His eyes then noticed Logan’s face, furrowing his brow, “are sure you’re okay? Your face is a bit red there, kiddo.”

“Ihi assure yohou I aham. Please help mehe to get up.” Patton quickly nodded, an adoring gaze sprouting on his expression as he heard the other’s giggles, but decided to not point out, instead choosing to pat his back lightly in a reassuring touch and immediately pulling his hand when Logan jumped at his touch.

“Get away from my back!” The moment his words escaped in an impulsive act, Logan instantly clapped his hand over his mouth, trying to think in a way out of what he just brought to himself. A part of him – very small, pretty much overdued by the excited energy building again on his body, - wishing Patton didn’t get the meaning behind that phrase.

“Your back?” His tune sounded much like what Roman likes to call ‘Lost puppy’ and Logan signed in a mix of relief and disappointment.

Then Patton gasped, suddenly full of joy. “Oooooh!!! Your!!! Back!!”

“Nonono, no, no! Patton, be reasonAAH!” A shriek cut all his protests and rational thoughts when Patton lowered his head and gave a soundly, big raspberry right on the right side of his lower back, making all his way to the other side with more careful, well placed raspberries. “I can’t, I can’t! Plea-ase!”

“I’m not listening a ‘stop’!~” He rested a kiss on his spine. “And, awww, kiddo! Why did you never tell me you had such a tasty back before?” The cat lover ran his index finger on his spine, leading electric shivers to shoot all across his nerves. “Now you made the Tickle Monster really, reeeally hungry! Good thing that now he has a very yummy yummy snack-y back-y right here!!”

Logan tried, - believe me, - he really, really tried to form some sort of coherent sentence, however, the moment Patton’s lips collided with the back of his ribs, softly nibbling and making ‘oh nom nom’ noises as his free hands occupied themselves at unmercifully squeezing his hips, his thumbs clued on the little divot localized there, Logan’s belly laughter ran freely. It swirling around them both, the melody mixed with the sound of his hands bagging on the floor, legs kicking in a fruitless struggle.

Patton gave the other side the same treatment (‘They deserve that attention too, Lo-lo! The Tickle Monster needs to be fair and good so Giggles bugs like you will be all happy and cute and giggly forever and ever!’) before giving the astronomy lover a break, finally helping him back (ha-) to lay on the bed, on his stomach.

Logan closed his eyes, a smile resting on his expression as his snorts and chortles started to become more sporadic, the tingling still running on his tickle spot. His eyelashes opened only to find Patton’s face adorned with a smirk.

“Hello-lo-lo, my precious, adorable, sweetest Squeaky Toy! Enjoying your birthday tickles?”

“I hate you.”

“Boop!”

Logan whined, the tip of his ears blushing as he hid his face on his mattress. “You’re insufferable.”

“Nope, silly, I’m the Tickle Monster!” Patton snickered, ignoring Logan’s grumpy growl. “And I was thinking, what about if we played a game, Blushy bear?”

…

Silence.

...

“What game?”

“Weeeell…” Patton’s face disappeared not taking long for Logan to feel the part next to his side sink as his attacker adjusted himself there. A cold breeze touched his back as the hem of his shirt was pushed up until it touched his neck, Patton’s fingers quickly sliding and lightly scribbling the length of his back, leading him to squirm occasionally. “I was thinking about that very tiiiicklish tickle spot of yours and I realized… Do you know how much vertebras a human has, Lo-lo?”

“Yes, of course. Counting with the sacral and the coccyx we have about thirty-four vertebras, although, since they’re fused on the coccyx it can variate and result as thirty-three as well.”

“Ohhh,” Patton’s tune was solemn and, if it wasn’t for the feeling of his fingers still drumming on his skin, Logan could almost forget the imminent danger that question represented, “well, I have no idea of how much there are!”

“But I just told you-”

“So I think you will have to help me to discover it and lay veryyyy still so I can count them! You’re such a strong, lovely squeaky toy and I’m sure you can do this!” He placed an only one finger on the base of his waist, teasing the spot before going full on scratching, being so careful and, oh, so mindful to circle every single vertebra, prodding and poking each inch of sensitive skin there. His torso arched for a piece of time before hitting the mattress with force. “Oneeee, twoooo, threeeee…”

A jolt bolted from the spot and spread across his senses, resulting in Logan beginning to sputter halfhearted protests, his words interleaving with high pitched wheezy giggles, growing more and more louder as his friend got dangerously close to his shoulder blades. He squirmed and struggled and wiggled, hands firmly gripping the fabric under his fingers, his mind losing the count as Patton decided to re-start it over and over and over again, since-

“Now, now, Logie Bear. I know you just love to be such a lovely, absurdly ticklish squirmy little bear, but The Tickle Monster reaaaally needs you to stay still so I can tickle, ops! I mean, count all those tickly spots, oooops, I mean, vertebras of yours!”

Logan lost the track of time by the moment Patton ceased the attack, carefully massaging his shoulders to help him to relax and stop his giggles.

“Logan…” he asked when noticed that the other calmed himself, the blush getting weaker on his cheeks.

“Yes, Tickle Monster?”

Logan had to wait more three minutes so Patton would stop squealing, absolutely overwhelmed with joy.

“When I say you’re the most precious Squeaky Toy and that I could just hold you and softly graze my fingertips on your sides as I place raspberries and nuzzles and whispered teases about how much absolutely CUTE and ADORABLE you and you amazing laughter are and just hold your hands up so you can’t stop me when I tickly tickle your ticklish thighs but my grip will be loose enough so if you really want you could pry away but you won’t because you just love so much being tickle tickled silly and-”

“Patton! The question.”

“Oh, right! Er… uhh… How many vertebras there are…?”

“About thirty four or thirty three.”

There was a piece of silence before the words exploded in frantic sentences from his friend’s mouth.

“Oh my gosh, Logan! Logan, I just managed to count twenty! Logan, oh my gosh, where are your other ones? Are you in pain? We need to go to the hospital! I can’t believe you never told me you don’t have all of them kiddo! I’m going to-” The rest of his panic was muffled by Logan’s wheezing, uncontrollable laughter, which was doubled when the most professional one turned slightly around only to find Patton giving him that confused frown.

“Y-you,” he fought to take a breath, failing “You can’t actively count them just by touching-” and Logan didn’t know if it was the occasion, or the silliness engulfing them or even the so pure and clear confusion on the other’s tune, but he found it difficult to stop his laughing.

…

“So, your spine is okay?”

“Yehehes!”

“Oh, that is good, kiddo! Because now I’m going to give you something to laugh about, mister!!”

Then Patton bounced, attacking that horrible, forbidden spot between his shoulder blades, leading a loud shriek and even more wild laughter to escape from him due the new maddening – awesome, - sensation.

“Coothie coothie coo, Blushy bear!!”

“Listen to all that wonderful laughter! That's such a big, sweet smile!! Those cute little yelps, squeaks, and ah! Was that a snort?”

“Awwww, someone here is a tickly ticklish baby? Huh? Yes, you are! Yes, you are, my incredible adorable Squeaky Toy! Coothie coothie coo, bear!”

“You're so precious and so amazingly smart, wonderful, strong, cool and sweet! You deserve all the tickles tickles tickles from the Tickle Monster!!”

Tears of mirth began to accumulate on the corner of his eyes, and that was the cue for the other to begin to lessen the tickles, resuming his attack to sporadic butterfly kisses on Logan’s back.

“Stohohohop! I wihihill tell!”

“Aww, will you?”

“Yehehes, I will! Juhuhust cease!”

“Okay!” Patton gave a last nuzzle on his bare neck before his hand came down to comb his hair, giggling at Logan’s state. “Remember, it’s: ‘I, the smart Logan Sanders, am an adorable, incredibly, horribly tickly ticklish Squeaky Toy and I just looove receiving tickle, tickle, tickles from the Tickle Monster!’. Don’t forget to say every single word, Giggly Bear, or we will have to start it all over again!”

Logan whined, turning around so he wouldn’t be able to visualize Patton’s bright smirk. “Shuhuhut up. Urg. Ihihi- I, the incredible and smart Logan Sanders, am an a-ahahadorable, incredibly, horribly ti-ti-tichihihckly, ticklihihish S-squeaky… Toy… and…”

“Aaaand?”

“Dehehear Newton I despise your existence on this planet- and I just… loOove receiving tickletickleticklesfromtheTickleMonster. Thehehere! It’s said, leave mehehe alone!”

“It is, indeed!” Patton beamed, lowering himself to plant a soft kiss on the birthday boy’s temple, “Thank you for being such an adorable and great lee, Lo. Do you want some cool water? A snack? I can make it while you rest a little, okay? We could marathon Doctor Who again!”

“Yes. I think that would… suffice.” Logan smiled. A small, warm smile that made Patton feel like he could just melt for knowing it was being directed to him. “And… I also express my gratitude for your… birthday tickles, as you call it. It was quite…” he frowned, as if he was trying to recall something, “a-okay, I believe.”

“Aww! Thank you, kiddo!” And, if Patton lightly blushed with the compliment and both cuddled during the whole marathon, sometimes whispering soft, gentle compliments to each other? Well, shhhh, that is their secret to share, okay?

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logically-asexual · 3 years

Text

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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kieraelieson · 3 years

Text

Centaur AU 5

To say Thomas worried the rest of the day would be an understatement. He tried to keep it to himself, but it must have been palpable, since Roman came into the stable bright and happy, and his smile dropped immediately. His eyes went wide, clearly sending messages to the others, but he didn’t say a word until his jockey was gone.

“What happened?!”

“It’s not that much to be concerned about,” Logan said. “My legs are hurting, nothing more.”

“The vet has been called at least!” Roman said, a flash of anger in his eyes. “If—“ his words fizzled out as he turned to see Thomas.

“No, no, Thomas called the vet. She’s coming tonight to help,” Patton said, his tone calming.

“Well,” Roman looked like the wind had been taken out of him. “Good.”

And that somehow reminded Thomas. The very visit probably wouldn’t be over in a few minutes, he would be late to get home again. He was now Extremely glad he’d gotten a cell phone for Remy. Perhaps after a month or so he could afford one for Emile too.

He went to the phone, ignoring the quiet talking from the others.

Remy didn’t pick up right away, and Thomas called a second time.

“Look, I don’t know who you are—“

“Remy, it’s Thomas.”

“Oh. Sorry, this is a weird number. Wait—- don’t tell me you got lost this time!” Remy laughed. “Emile! You’ve got to hear this!”

“No, no, Remy, I’m not lost, I’m still at work. I just called to say I’ll probably have to stay late again.”

There was a vague, displeased grunt. “What, overtime twice in a row? You did negotiate for overtime pay, right?”

Thomas sighed. “No, I’m not sure I’m even getting paid at all for it.”

“What?!” Remy yelled. “Thomas, you are A Doormat!” The sound went a little fainter. “Emile, tell him! He’s not even getting paid for staying late!”

“Really, Thomas, you do need to stand up for yourself in terms of fair payment,” Emile said.

Thomas chuckled slightly, sighing. “I know. I really do. This is just more important than that. I’ll explain when I get home, and I’ll even try to figure out a way to renegotiate.”

“We’ll hold you to that,” Remy promised.

“Be safe and reasonable,” Emile said. “If you get very tired, it may be better to quit before your task is complete or to stay the night there.”

“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind,” Thomas said. “Love you guys.”

“Yeah, yeah, all the mushy ‘we love you too’,” Remy said distantly before hanging up.

Thomas smiled a bit. He really missed them, even though it’d only been a few days, they seemed really long.

And then he heard a car stop and a door shut. Hopefully that was the vet.

He turned to offer his most reassuring smile to the centaurs before going out to meet her.

“Oh, hello, are you Thomas?”

“I am, yes, and I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Dr. Avery. Would you help me carry some things?”

“Of course.”

“I’m not surprised something finally happened,” Dr. Avery said, her tone rather annoyed. “I’ve been saying all you recent grooms are lazy and uneducated.”

Thomas tried not to take offense, but really, he was undereducated. He hadn’t had barely an idea of what to do.

“For a centaur like that one you need to be applying liniment all the time, and keep support for his legs between, and he really ought not to be sleeping standing.”

Thomas nodded, extremely glad for the information, though a part of him grated against the tone it was delivered in.

“And he really needs some kinds of exercise other than those competitions. Without the variety, eventually he’ll be unable to do anything else. Maybe it’s even too late already.”

Thomas nodded again.

They entered the stable, and the silence was almost oppressive. All four centaurs stared intently at them, very still, and not making a single sound, not even in response to Thomas’s small smile.

Dr. Avery went right into Logan’s stall, and he narrowed his eyes at her slightly before moving into the middle of the stall, crossing his arms and staring firmly at the wall. It somehow cut into Thomas to see it. As if the vet visiting was something that had happened long ago, and ended very unpleasantly, and this was some sort of unpleasant truce. But he didn’t know what to do about it. He, they all needed a vet, and he strongly doubted he would be able to call his vet. There would be so much paperwork, even just to begin, and Logan was hurt now. Not to mention that the owners might well hate the idea of switching vets.

Dr. Avery unwrapped Logan’s legs and ran her hands carefully over them, making small displeased noises as she found… whatever she was finding.

“Thomas, go out to my truck, there’s a portable x-ray machine. Bring it here.”

Thomas ran to obey quickly.

The vet examined each of Logan’s legs very carefully, and then studied the x-rays, frowning intently, but not saying much. Thomas felt like his breath was held the entire time, waiting on the professional judgement.

“Well, first of all,” she said, still staring at the papers.

Thomas nodded quickly. “Yes?”

“This is going to be expensive to treat,” she said, her tone sour. “There are a number of faint cracks in the cannon bones. I’m quite frankly shocked he hasn’t broken his legs. He needs to stay off his feet as much as possible, and his legs need support, as well as dietary supplements to build up the bones again. He will not be able to participate in any of those competitions whatsoever for 12 weeks at the very least.”

Thomas nodded firmly. He was sure… well, he was desperately hopeful that the Authiers would pay for it.

“But on top of that the mental aspect cannot be discounted. I’ve known this centaur for quite a few years. It will be a long, and painful recovery, if it’s handled just right. I don’t think he’ll pull through it. Centaurs are finicky like that once injured.”

Thomas felt as though she’d managed to slap them all in the face, and Logan at least twice. He wasn’t sure if he was more shocked or angry.

“Add all that to the likelihood that he won’t be able to do many competitions afterwards even if he did somehow pull through it, and from the inactivity his muscles will be atrophied, he won’t be the same for… perhaps six months or more. I don’t know that you’ll, or rather, that the Authiers would find it worthwhile to keep him around anymore.”

Thomas felt like he might fall over. His voice came out squeaky and faint. “Are-- are you seriously suggesting that---”

“Putting him down. Yes.”

There was a choked sound from Patton, who looked both absolutely terrified and like he might throw up. Thomas wondered if he looked the same way. There was suddenly a scream.

“NO!” Virgil had reared up and kicked the door, hard.

Dr. Avery paled. “Why is he loose like that?! That is a violent centaur!”

Thomas, in what was probably a powerful move Emile would berate him for later, managed to shove everything down all at once and put on a conciliatory smile.

“Thank you so much for coming. I will talk to the Authiers, and call you again with their decision. If you leave, it will be easier to get him under control again.”

Virgil was still screaming, the sound more animal than human, and the stall door would not hold much longer.

“That’s at least a three man job! I’ll get the tranquilizers.”

“No.” Thomas said firmly. “Please leave. Now.”

Dr. Avery shook her head like he was crazy, but grabbed her stuff and left.

Thomas shut the stable door, and then heard a cracking of wood. In seconds Virgil was in front of him, rearing up threateningly. If he hadn’t already so far detached himself from the situation, Thomas might have screamed. And then he would have most assuredly died. But he didn’t, he raised his hands slowly and silently in surrender.

“You won’t touch him!” Virgil screamed.

“Virgil, please. I swear to you I will never let anything like that happen to Logan. I swear. I will do everything I possibly can, and if that doesn’t work I’d kidnap him before I let someone kill him. I promise Virgil, everything I can, I will do to make him safe. I promise. Please. Please walk back to your stall. Or to Logan’s. I’m sure he would appreciate you with him.”

It was as if dark clouds started to be blown away as Virgil stood down, taking a step back and turning to look at Logan.

Thomas collapsed to his knees, suddenly sobbing.

Something was going on, but he didn’t know what, only that his breath was coming short and he couldn’t stop himself, nearly curled up in a ball, heavy sobs wracking his body. And then strong arms picking him up and holding him in a hug.

“It’s alright. Everyone’s safe for now.” Someone said. “You did the best you could.”

Thomas tried hard to stop crying. He needed to be the strong one. He needed to fix everything. “I’m so-sorry, I’m trying.”

“It’s alright. We’re all alright for now. Let it out now.”

Thomas slowly managed to regain some kind of composure, and realized that Roman was holding him, knelt down on the floor with him.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. You- you shouldn’t have to--”

He was cut off and surprised by Roman squeezing him in a tight hug. “Thomas, you’re giving us the best you have. Thank you. It’s enough.”

And somehow that made him want to cry all over again. Not the same desperate sobs, but it still made him sniff, and quite a few more tears ran down his face. “Thank you, Roman.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said, his voice quiet and low. “Did-- did you mean what you said?”

Thomas nodded firmly. “I’ll never just stand by while they kill someone. Especially not for being hurt.”

Patton burst into tears, which, judging by his wet face, were not the first by far.

“Is Logan ok?” Thomas asked.

Virgil looked up at Logan’s face, which he could see from his place snugged up against his side. “He’s out.”

It took Thomas a second while his brain screamed ‘he passed out???’ to realize Virgil probably meant he was heavily dissociated. Thomas couldn’t blame him. But… this was probably what the vet meant about centaur’s and their minds once they got injured. It wasn’t their fault, it was a whole life long of trauma. But for Logan to get well again he would have to be present.

But not yet. He deserved to calmly make his way back. He deserved… anything, after being talked about like that. Someone literally threatened to kill him while he stood there listening! Thomas felt anger rising up in him, bringing with it a rush of heat and energy. He was calling the Authiers. And he was not taking no for an answer.

He took the phone with him into the closet, where he couldn’t be so easily overheard. None of them deserved any more bad news.

“Hello?” A familiar voice asked, with loud music in the background. It was the woman who had hired him, and he felt bad to say, he didn’t remember her first name.

“Hello, Mrs. Authier, it’s Thomas Sanders.”

“Oh, Thomas! Do you need something?”

He was going to have to phrase this right if he had much hope. “I’ve been looking into the things that the other grooms did, and I’ve found several problems.”

“Uh huh. Well give me the quick version, I’m a bit busy.”

Thomas took a deep breath. “One of the centaurs needs medical care, and I need more time here. I’d like to be hired full-time, and be able to bring things over here to stay.”

“Oh, that was excellently quick. Is that everything?”

“Um, yes?”

“Great. I’ll give you an empty check for the medical care, and send my lawyer to talk with you in the morning about rearranging the schedule. Are we good now?”

“I… yes. I think so.”

“Great! There’s a party up at the main house, and it’ll go most of the night if you want to join.”

“Uh, thank you.”

“Call anytime, you’re a good summarizer!”

And then she hung up. Thomas was dumbfounded. It was entirely not how he’d expected it to go at all. He was wondering more and more what kind of crazy people he was working for.

He called Dr. Avery, and went to voicemail, which he preferred quite a bit. “Mrs. Authier approved the medical treatment. If you can come in the morning and give me care instructions, I’ll do my best to be sure they’re followed.”

And then Thomas let out a long, relieved sigh. He came out of the closet to many tense faces.

“She said yes. We’re going to treat Logan, and help him the best we can.”

Roman and Virgil sighed in relief, and Patton nearly cried again. “Oh, thank goodness!”

“And,” Thomas said, and suddenly had all eyes fixed on him again. “I think, I might be moving to stay here. Would that be alright with you guys?”

There was a strange silence.

“Well, what we think about it wouldn’t really change anything,” Roman said.

“Of course we’d love to have you!” Patton said, overlapping Roman’s words.

Thomas nodded solemnly. He could understand if they didn’t want him here. They barely knew him, and it’d take away the privacy they had at nighttime.

“Well, for tonight then, I need to wrap up Logan’s legs again, and probably after all that mess Virgil at least could use a brushing down. Would that be alright?”

Thomas looked mostly at Virgil, who nodded, but reluctantly, and didn’t meet his gaze.

And Thomas had to admit, even with the exhausted numbness settling over him, he was scared to be between Logan and Virgil, even though he knew, and they knew too, that he was only trying to help. Logan was still almost frozen, a glazed look in his eyes as he turned lazily to watch Thomas.

Thomas ran a hand gently over Logan’s flank, and over again. He didn’t know if Logan would appreciate petting or if he’d be annoyed or insulted by it. He just wanted to find some way to help, and to perhaps comfort and reassure a bit.

“I’m really sorry. If I’d known what she was going to say I would’ve had her outside to talk.”

Logan didn’t respond at all.

Thomas tried giving a rather wry smile, but it fell a bit flat.

“If you’d come out of this stall, Virgil, it’d be easier for me to brush you,” Thomas said, turning and going back to the closet to get a curry comb.

Virgil was standing in his own stall when Thomas came back out, and he was standing stiffly, his eyes darting around a bit, though he turned his head away to make it less obvious. Thomas wasn’t sure what was wrong, but he didn’t blame him. He felt antsy and jittery himself, and just wanted to get done and get home.

But as he entered the stall Virgil stepped away from him. “I’m sorry. F-for earlier. I-I didn’t mean to—“

“It’s alright,” Thomas said, raising the brush. “Just stand still now and we’ll be good.”

Virgil flinched back and away, holding his arms close to his chest, a wide-eyed scared look on his face. It finally registered to Thomas that something more was wrong than just fading adrenaline.

“Virgil, I’m tired and kinda crashing, it’s making me kind of dumb, and I’m gonna need you to communicate here with me, ok? What’s wrong?”

Virgil’s eyes flicked to the curry comb, but he didn’t say anything. A tremor started and ran over his body.

Patton came to the rescue, leaning over the walls.

“Virgil doesn’t like that brush.”

Thomas frowned down at the innocent curry comb. “It’s no worse than any other brush, Virgil.”

“It hurts! Especially when you’re mad or tired.” Virgil blurted out, shutting his mouth immediately after as if he’d said something bad.

The only way this kind of brush would hurt was if it was practically slapped against…. who was Thomas kidding, with the rampant abuse, it was incredibly likely that exactly that had happened.

“It wouldn’t hurt if it’s done properly,” Thomas promised. “Would you let me try? If it hurts you I promise I’ll go back and get your favorite one instead.”

“You promise?”

Thomas nodded firmly. “I promise.”

Virgil shook his head, a tremor running down his whole body. “Promises break.”

Thomas thought about it for a minute, and then went out and grabbed a lead rope, tying one end around his wrist.

“Do you trust Patton? The whole time I’m brushing you he can hold the other end of this rope, and the instant it hurts you he can pull my hand back.”

Virgil looked to Patton, who seemed more than a little nervous about the idea, but still nodded and accepted the end of the rope.

“O-ok.”

Thomas gently set the brush against Virgil’s side, waiting for the flinch and shiver to die down a little before he moved the brush at all. Virgil was all covered in sweat, and Thomas tried to move just right to get it off without moving too quickly and startling him.

He was a little surprised, but also a little not, that by the time he’d finished one side Virgil was relaxing into it. It must feel good to finally reach through all the hair and get properly brushed, and to get really clean.

He’d just wanted to get home a bit ago, but this was more important. It wasn’t just brushing down a centaur, it was getting Virgil to trust him, to trust brushes. It was healthy for Virgil’s coat too. And probably it was helping relax a lot of stressors for him. He needed it, far more that Thomas needed to get home. So he took his time, did it the best way, which also happened to take a long time.

And once he was done Virgil was so relaxed his eyes were drifting shut.

“There. You did very well, Virgil. And thank you for helping, Patton.”

Patton smiled and yawned. “You’re welcome, Thomas.”

“I’ll probably head home now. Is there anything else any of you need?”

“It’s nearly midnight,” Logan said, startling Thomas by speaking.

“Yes?”

Logan just gave a small nod, as if that meant something to him. “Thank you.”

Thomas nodded. “You’re welcome.”

He closed stall doors and turned off all the lights but one, finally leaving. When he got home, for some reason, he didn’t go into the house, he went into the stable. Only barely awake, he dropped onto the hay next to where Emile was stretched out, laying prone.

“Thomas?”

Thomas gave a weak grunt in acknowledgement before falling asleep.

#centaur au #my own work #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #character!thomas #death mention #past abuse

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natromanxoff · 3 years

Text

I wasn’t sure about posting this at first but as it is already shared publicly and I have come across with it on Pinterest, I decided that it would be okay. So here is a story of a fan about Jim Hutton:

“ON 23rd of March, there was a Queen Tribute band concert in Goresbridge and my boyfriend told me that Jim would come as well. He admitted that he had arranged with Stephen for Jim to come along. The concert was in the pub called The Spirit Store. What a great name for spiritual meeting, I thought. When I entered, Jim sat at the table with Stephen, Jascqueline, her sister Valeria and other family friends. There was nowhere to sit, so we just stood by the table for a while. When I looked at Jim, he appeared somewhat fragile and tiny, like a man who could easily be overlooked. He didn´t look anything like those photos portraying him in the books.

After a while, there was a free seat by the table and everyone, including Jim, moved in order for us to sit down. It was just one place and my friend Mike wanted to take it. He got up fast but they all stopped him. Jim measured Mike up and down and told him, "Perhaps you should let the lady sit here, you cavalier!" Embarassed, Mike got up from his chair and offered it to me. I got the honorable place alongside Jim. Being a woman sometimes has its advantages! Jim welcomed me with heartfelt "Hi". At first I was nervous, but after a while I felt relaxed and enjoyed Jim's company. I was aware of his behavior, gestures, laughter, and tried to absorb his energy all at once. It was easy to talk to him about anything and everything.

I wanted to know the man Freddie loved so much, so I guess I started giving him many questions.

"Jim, are you still in touch with Phoebe?" Jim looked at me closely and began to talk to me with interest. "I haven´t really been talking to him for a long time. I know he had a hotel in Dubai, then he sold it, and he's in Prague now. He also bought something overthere and I think he's going to settle down there." When I heard about Prague, I jumped up excitedly and told him that I was from there. He smiled a little, though the coincidence like this didn´t overwhelm him as much as me.

He relished glass of Budwaiser and smoked Ultra light Silk Cuts. He offered me one and lit it up for me like a real gentleman. It seemed he wanted to continue talking. We both made fun of the ultralight effect of his cigarettes, which would probably piss off every orthodox smoker, Freddie for sure! He then demonstrated jokingly, how to properly smoke them. He inhaled all the smoke by sucking in his cheeks and widening his eyes, as if he should soon burst like an inflated toad. None of us resisted and we both burst into a mad laughter. I told him about my visit to Munich and meeting Barbara. He smiled and listened, then he rolled his eyes up to heaven and stated that she is one hell of a crazy woman. I totally agreed, and added, that also alcoholic one. It was surreal to talk about mutual aquaintances together, people we both knew. I also mentioned my visit to New York club and I could see how he returns nostalgically into his memories. Then I also tried to make him remember my friend Allison, who told me about him in the first place.

"About nine years ago she visited you in London". He couldn´t remember and admitted, that since then a lot of people have passed through his life and many of them he never saw again.

I continued. "She showed me several of your photos and in one of them you were holding Freddie's portrait that you bought at the auction". Suddenly he jumped up and said he knew whom I mean.

I showed him my miniature box containing a stone and talked about it with almost patriotic pride. "It's a stone from Logan Mews that I had to dig out from under the threshold of his house, because there was nothing else to take." Jim laughed out loud, this time without any hindrance and doubt that I was totally crazy. I also laughed because I knew I sound like nuts. He remarked with smile from ear to ear that I was pretty crazy. "Yeah, I'm crazy, and I'm proud to be. Who isn´t...and by the way.....why not?" I smiled at what I just said, because that´s what Freddie would say, to defend himself. Jim then talked about the medallion that Freddie had given him for his birthday. He said, there were three miniature pictures inside. "The first is that of Miko ", he said gently, looking up at me to make sure I knew who he was talking about. "In the other one is Freddie" ... he continued with kind of fervor and love. Something deep inside me shivered. "In the third one," ... he didn´t answer yet, when I jumped into his monologue ...."Tiffany," I blurted out.

"My mom's photo," he finished his sentence. (and I prayed he didn´t register my answer).

It was nice to hear him remembering like that. He opened up in front of me the way I never dreamt of. I think it was nice for him to share these beautiful moments and to talk about things that meant so much to him. "This rock is my good luck charm. I have been listening to Queen since I´m twelve and I also work in the Fan Club's office. We celebrate his anniversary every year. When I went here, I was kidding with my friends that I might meet Jim Hutton in Ireland... and here you are, sitting right next to me. That´s my dream come true", I said all emotional.

"How do you know Stephen?", he inquired after while.

"I go out with Vinnie and they are good friends" He eyed my boyfriend and indicated that he knew who he was.

"I was annoying the two of them and was constantly asking them to bring you", I smiled.

"Oh, Jacqueline wanted me to come, alright" Jim smiled at the thought. Then he talked about the music talent competition, in which they were selecting the best imitators of Queen.

"What music are you actually listening to?" I wondered.

"I have no favorite, I'm listening to almost everything. Even a radio".

"And do you still have Zig and Zag?"

He only sighed and said in a sad voice that they had both died since then.

"And do you have any other cats?"

"Yeah, I have seven others now," Jim smiled. This number didn´t surprise me. The old habits are hard to kill.

"Do you still keep up the gardening, Jim?"

"Constantly," he said with a loving smile and amusedly showed me his hands dirty from the clay and covered in sores. For God's sake, he must have been gardening a few minutes before going to a concert!, I thought to myself. A complete garden maniac.....

We were joking on the account of the band that was supposed to start playing long time ago, but somehow did not. He told me it would be nice to get drunk, so we didn´t know how terrible they were. That really made me crack up. He could be so funny.

He joked and emphasized to everyone around the table, that instead of a concert he could have been at home watching his favorite movie. In the same breath, he admitted that he was curious about their performance and that he hadn´t been out in ages.

He leaned over to me and confessed, that now he lived a life completely cut off from the rest of the world.

"We are basically the same, I am basically like him. Now I just enjoy loneliness and privacy. I don´t go out anywhere except my garden". I immediately knew whom he was referring to in his speech.

I said that I had discovered his house in Palatine and apologized when I saw his slightly concerned look. I said I was just little curious.

He then recalled a few of his encounters with the fans. One day there was an unknown car with a couple of strangers that arrived to his house. They came all way from Vienna and they found him by questioning people in a town! Not a hard thing to trace him, he said, as every cab driver in the area knows him pretty well. One local newspaper even published a photo of his house, and although they gave a wrong address, a lot of people had found him.

That made me laugh, because I knew what it means to be a devoted fan.

"On the other hand, it's nice to know that someone is constantly looking after you and giving you the feeling that all this is still alive," I added with a smile.

"Jim, do you still have your Volvo?"

"You mean the one that Freddie gave me?.....No, I don´t have it few years now, I´ve swapped it for a new one," he smiled.

He was all too gallant all the time, always lighting my cigarette.

He also wondered how long I would stay in Ireland, so I said that only another half a year.

"And you wanna come back here?" He asked suddenly.

"Oh, I'd love to. I'm trying to find a job either in Carlow or Kilkenny," I said enthusiastically.

Then I fell silent, looked at him and assured him "Definitely."

Each time he looked up into my eyes, I saw an incredibly nice person in front of me. Something in his silent expression suggested that he had suffered great deal of pain in life, but that he was now completely reconciled with his fate. Still, in his eyes shone a spark of unrelenting humor. In his company I forgot all about the world. I was happy to be able to make such an affluent and warm contact with him. The longer we knew each other, the closer we were.

When he wanted to go to the toilet, Stephen told him that the men's toilets were behind the bar and the ladies in front of the bar. It sounded like he wasn´t quite sure which one would Jim prefer.

But Jim didn´t care much and set off to the men's. I admit it made me laugh a little.

Then we continued our dialogue. I mentioned that I read both his and Phoebe's book, but that I couldn´t find his book anywhere in the stores. He confirmed that it´s out of print at the minute.

When I told him that I had stolen his book at the local library, he laughed and said that I should have asked him and he would have given me a copy, but he only had Italian version.

Finally, the band started to play. Everyone in the pub stood up and whole lot of us - as we were tucked in at the back, climbed onto the window ledges. I stood next to Jim, who remained seated.

He looked a little bit run over. I knew he was surrounded by the loneliness and I watched him with sadness. I lacked much power or words to comfort him. It was only after some wonderful songs that we both joined and got up. He could not remain sad in such a loving and friendly company for ever.

When he noticed the enormous, life-vibrant energy that only Queen music could produce in conjunction with a crowd of people singing, I think he forgot his personal pain. I could see pride in his face. He stood up and watched the band. Then he addressed me and made me come up onto the ledge above him to see better. I would not listen to anybody else, but from him it didn´t sound like an order. He wanted me to get the most out of it and it pleased me. Then we sat back and drank. Jim seemed to be getting cheerful and livelier. The more he drank, the more cheerful he was. The guys ordered him Red Bull with vodka. When I asked him if it was vodka, he claimed it was white lemonade! He put a warm glass of "vodka" on my hand, so I almost jumped out of my skin, which he thought was terribly funny.

Whatever he did, he looked at me as though I was the only person who knew what was behind his looks. His faces and funny grimaces reminded me of Freddie. He had a lot of subconsciously inherited poses and gestures from him. Even in his laughter I could detect an influence of Freddie's strong personality. He simply marked all people around him. It was not the same contagious and stormy laugh, but there was a spark of resemblance.

His niece Jacqueline, Valerie and Stephen, danced all the time on the ledge and Jim was pulling them and wrapping himself in between their legs, hugging them, clinging to them, and messing around like a little boy. It was a wonderful sight, as he was so happy and childish.

After some time, Jim lost himself in a crowd of concert goers, so I went to look for him. Without his company it felt such a sad place. It was as if he had fallen through the ground, which made me very nervous. Finally, I found him by the entrance table, where he was joking away with one old blonde, not too different from frivolous Barbara Valentin. I asked him for a photo together. At first he looked impenetrable but as soon as I threw a sad eye and smirked, he brightened up and agreed as if saying "You know you can, anything for you, darling"

His niece Valerie took our picture. He then whispered to me that he hopes I´ll send him some pictures later.

After that he announced that we are going back inside to listen to the band.

I saw them from close-up and I must say that it was much better to just hear them. They looked rather too comic with all their wigs. It was something that would make Freddie laugh too.

I told Jim that they don´t look very natural,which he agreed with, but he said he couldn´t complain about their music. He was totally right, because musically they weren´t bad and the singer had a very authentic voice.

Inside, everybody was dancing and Jim joined in and circled around them like a rogalo.

The whole pub vibrated with intense and loving energy. There was no one who would be bored. Jim then threw himself in the arms of his two nieces, who gently caressed him in his hair and embraced him. He let them take care of him, now vulnerable like a little lost child all of a sudden.

There was something deeply touching about it. He had closed his eyes and sadly lowered his head, as if his tears flowed deep inside, in his invisible world. I realized at this stage, how much he really loved Freddie. I was looking at him and I had a desire to caress him and comfort him but instead, I had to stand aside.

"You can have everything and yet feel alone", Freddie once said. But I was glad Jim had his family and friends around him, who cared and protected him. Jim was going through sorrow and joy,both at the same time, it seemed.

During one of his many shananigans, I caught him messing around with his niece's boyfriend.

He sat him on his knees and imitated sexual intercourse. It would seem offensive and utterly crazy to someone who didn´t know him. But we all did. Jim was laughing like crazy and when he finally looked at me, he seemed a little embarrassed by his behavior and gave me a look that said"I hope you won´t tell on me to Freddie"...but it was hard to take him seriously.

We both smiled conspiratorially at each other. In that sense, our relationship no matter how short-lived, was special. We understood one another in thoughts. He winked at me a couple of times, tapping my beer like an old buddy.

In one moment in particular, Jim leaned over me and whispered: "You as a fan have right to be crazy, but them" ... pointing at our dancing group of friends ... " they are fucked up", he said with smile and he began to knock his finger against his forehead. An international gesture that doesn´t need an interpreter!

Jim then went to the toilets for a while, and I, like a stray sheep, followed him through crowds of oblivious dancers. He was somewhat drunk at that time and barely retained a balance. He staggered a little like a broken tree. No surprise after god knows how many Red bulls and vodkas! I was bit afraid for him, so I supported him inconspicuously by both shoulders from behind. He went to the toilet and cared too little to even close the door behind him. If anyone was looking, he would see Jim Hutton pissing in a toilet bowl in his bright canary shirt.

At that moment they played the most touching song of all, These are the Days of our lives .... I stood by the door and listened, watching the band and waited for Jim. I don´t know why, perhaps because of the fate that brought me here, I suddenly felt terrible sorrow. I was sorry for Freddie and Jim. Tears poured into my eyes. I didn´t cry, but was very close to it. Jim suddenly appeared next to me and noticed my face. "What about those tears? I hope you don´t cry", but at this stage I was lost for words. His concern made me sad even more. Something inside me forced me to caress him. I hugged him gently around his neck and put my head on his shoulder for a moment. I wanted to let him know that I am very sorry about what happened to Freddie. He did not resist. He knew he wasn´t the only one in the world who was missing him. I looked into his eyes, and I told him a sentence that I didn´t know why I said, but I strongly felt it..."Jim, he's here, he IS here." His expression was rather confused at first. "Do you believe me?" ... I said this with a seriousness and a certain degree of self-assurance that he froze for a while. He looked thoughtful. He knew what I was talking about.

I seemed to only confirm his inner conviction. He didn´t say a word. He wiped my tear away with the edge of his hand and without warning, took me firmly by the hand and led me through crowds back to our friends. There was a lot of care and love in his touch. The music was just playing and Freddie just sang "I still love you" and I knew he did.

I didn´t want to leave, but I knew I said everything I needed to. I could not leave without saying goodbye. It would be a sin after all this to just disappear into eternity. I interrupted him from the conversation with someone else, leaned over the table and said, "Jim, I'm leaving now, so I want to say goodbye, it was great pleasure meeting you." I smiled as much as my heart allowed me to and shook his hand. He stared up and thought for a moment, and then, without any hesitance said, "We do not see each other for the last time." I didn´t know at this time how true his words were.

I thought I did not understand well, so I asked again, "sorry?" and he repeated patiently and more resolutely, "I shall surely see you again," while taking my hand into his hands and kissing it gently.

He left me in amazement. I stumbled out from there perplexed but still I could hear him talking about me to someone there. He probably said he hadn´t seen a bigger nutcase in a long time, assuming from his cute teddybear smile. Gosh I loved him so much!

The next day I learned from my friends that Jim was looking next morning for his jacket that he had forgotten in his car. Few days later, I've sent him the promised photographs. Jacquie confirmed that he called in to say he had received them allright.”

2001

“...And then I returned back to Ireland in 2004.

I had the opportunity to welcome Jim to my own home in Carlow sometime in 2006. He was Stephen´s surprise. When the door opened up, I didn´t see him at first.

Then his head popped out from the side of the door and with a laugh he emerged a bit later. He hugged me like we hadn´t seen each other for million years. What I felt at that moment was indescripable. My dear Jim back in my life and in my own house!

We all sat in the living room, Jim settled down on the sofa, I was sitting on the ground and absorbed the precious moments because I knew time spent with him was only borrowed time. Then we watched Queen videos and talked about Freddie as if he were in the next room. It was so surreal. Me and Jim agreed that our favorite video was Scandal, and he just added that Freddie didn´t like it very much because he couldn´t make any creative input in it, although he loved the song.

Then we talked about his illness, about him taking up to 40 pills a day to sustain his health and he also explained the difference between AIDS and HIV, as many people still didn´t know. We have talked so much and - above all - we laughed all night, almost at everything. It was so easy to succumb to his funny personality once again and to his heartfelt laughter. He made jokes about fancying my ex-boyfriend, whom he lied on top of on the sofa. Long time ago, I´ve sent him a letter explaining to him how Freddie has impacted my life. But I've forgotten I´ve ever written it and now I was faced with the horror that I actually have sent it. I hoped he has forgotten about it, but when Jim and I met in the corridor of our house, I couldn´t but apologize to him for that letter, and for being so daring. To my surprise, he looked at me softly with his tired eyes and assured me that my letter was absolutely fascinating. Then we were interrupted by Stephen, who was just leaving a toilet and the conversation was cut short at that point. Unfortunatelly I would never have the chance to find out what was the next thing he was about to say, because I noticed he wanted to continue, if he weren´t interrupted.

When we were saying goodbye at the door, he treated me as an old friend. He simply kissed me on the lips, which utterly shocked me and made me laugh at the same time.

He invited us back to his house to have a little party, but my ex-boyfriend was not in the perfect mood and so we politely declined, which I will forever regret!

About a year after that I bumped into Jim several times in the city where we both lived, or we exchanged text messages whenever I needed to advise what room flowers would be best for our new house. Sometimes I learnt about how he´s doing through my ex-boyfriend, who used to hang out with him and drink few pints in a night bar. Once my ex confessed how Jim told him that I was a great person and he should be happy to have me. They must have been talking about me!!!!

Then I met Jim one night in the nightclub, where he was with his friends. He spent most of his time sitting in the lounge smoking a cigarette, having fun with younger girls. Wherever he was, you heard his laughter. That night my ex-boyfriend arranged for Jim and me to have a dance together.

Jim was just dancing on the dancefloor with some older woman. I remember he had his jumper tied around his waist. I just got onto the dancefloor, he looked at me all serious and pulled me close to him. It was some tediously slow song that I can´t even remember, I just know that we were staggering from side to side like two handiccaped penguins and that made me laugh hysterically.

He was such a clown! Now, however, I consider this moment as one of the most precious memories of him. It was my night.

Back in 2009, I have learned that Jim was diagnosed with cancer. My ex-boyfriend told me how concerned Jim was when informing him. He said, he wept. At that time I didn´t know how serious the situation was and I hoped Jim will get better in no time. I believed the doctors would somehow help him out of it. I saw him a little later at work when he came to our restaurant for breakfast.

I almost served him as another customer, but when I realized it was him, I pulled myself back into the kitchen and let the other girls serve him. He never noticed. I was in such state of shock. I didn´t know what to do, how to act and what to say. He was so thin, just skin and bone. His face was sinking, his eyes full of pain, a small tube leading from his nose to the oxygen device he carried in his backpack and a small canvas hat on his head. I couldn´t believe this was Jim, whom I have remembered being so full of life and joy only half a year ago. I wanted to cry like never before. I also felt embarassed by my own cowardly reaction. I wished more than anything in my life to hug him and say I loved him. I wanted to wish him a happy Christmas. But I was scared of my own tears, which would not help him in his situation.

I wrote him a message on the phone, but he didn´t respond. And then I got the terrible news. Jim died and somehow I also missed his funeral. I took a first taxi and went at least to his months Mass and visited his grave, bringing him daffodils and little white lantern with candle. It was so hard for me. His relatives stood above his grave. I said my prayers in a minute of silence. The air didn´t move and the moon was full in the night sky. It was dark and cold all around but I didn´t care.

I wanted to see him laugh and mess around like he used to. It was as if another star had disappeared and fell to the earth. If only life could last forever.”

2006-2010

Credits to Seraphiel’s blog. Please don’t repost without credits.

#jim hutton

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thelostguardianau · 4 years

Text

The Lost Guardian- Chapter Eight

“Heed the Silenced”

(Authors note: aha.. yknow I should probably stop making promises for this fic. Months later, w/ a chapter that doesn’t have Thomas in it, three different outlines down and i’m really just at the mercy of this fic at this point xD considering midway through writing this chapter I had to cut and rewrite an entire scene i’d spent a month on bc I’d decided that Dee had a chance at redemtion that added an actual direction and a tangable end goal to this story. So. Yeah. And!! A loud Thank You!! to @bumblebeekitten for helping me bounce ideas back & forth for this au and being my beta for this chapter!!)

Character Info & Art:

Chapter Seven | Chapter Nine

Fandom: Thomas Sanders Sides

Pairings: Eventual Polyamsanders (LAMPR/CALMR-a.k.a LAMP/CALM + Remy ‘Sleep’ Sanders)

Warnings: THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA DIALOG HEAVY!(sorry) Currently depicted as morally grey Deceit(subject to change in future chapters), though the side of Deceit from his first appearance doesnt make an appearance in this chapter and it is explained why, mentions of past betrayal and dark descriptions of bodily concepts, curses, limitations, and changes only really explained as possible through the lore of this au. Deceit speaks in riddles because he has to, ominous warnings. Virgil still isn’t okay mentally. Mentions of indifference to death, lack of selfworth or self preservation. (Let me know if I need to add anything!)

[[MORE]]

Brown eyes flutter open at the chilly breeze of a fan, and the ravenette’s mind comes to realize that he’s been moved from resting on his stomach to laying on his back. Groggy from his much too short nap, it takes a few moments to realize there are no warm bodies near him or under him, no breathing or chatter of familiar voices to sooth him.

The room, he realizes, is empty.

The room itself is, in fact, not Remy’s bedroom at all.

Shooting straight up, Virgil’s first clear thought is that he’s back at home. At his apartment, this time in his hoodie yet still roughed up from his latest ‘adventure’. The scene is eerily familiar, and yet he knows this time that work is not where he needs to be. It’s already daylight and his mind now knows this familiar scene, he should feel alone. Yet, this time he can hear the sound of honking cars and people, his loud neighbor from upstairs stomping around.

It doesn’t make sense as he walks to his window and peers out to see vague cars and people, he can’t even seem to make out any individual faces. It’s grey and raining outside, but there is no pattering sound against the foggy window. ‘What’s happening?’ Virgil wonders.

“Life seemed so simple a week ago, even months ago, did it not..?” A familiar voice drifts from behind him. Ice cold fear shoots down the ravenette’s spine as he recognizes the voice.

“I can hardly believe you were able to leave it, your routine. It was your everything, back when you came to terms with what you had left. Am I wrong, Virgil?” Whirling around to face the voice, Virgil finds the terrifying ex-Guardian sitting on his couch looking quite at home, if a little sheepish.

“What do you care?” He spat back, stepping back against his window.

“I am only looking out for you, you know. I have been protecting you all your life. Of all people I think I would know what is best for you, don't you think? We are connected after all, you and I.” The man sighed, making a surrendering motion with his hands.

“Why would I trust you?! You tried to kill me yesterday!” Virgil growled. “Why--h-how are you even here!?”

“False, my dear Virgil. I tried to warn you. Sure,” The guardian rolled his hand as he spoke, “I am forced to have a round-about way of speaking my truths, it is just part of my consequences it seems. But how else was I going to get you to listen to me after the others fed you lies about me? I do sincerely apologize for my other half being rough, though. I cannot quite.. Control.. Him.” The guardian tilted his bowler hat down to guiltily hide his eyes, regret briefly twisting his expression.

Finally the Guardian stood, dusting himself off as if his immaculate attire had acquired dust from just existing in his apartment. “I needed my physical body to reach yours and make our soul connection strong again, so that my soul could reach yours. However.. The pain I caused you was far from my intention. I am deeply regretful that it came down to.. That awful encounter.

“To answer your question though, Virgil, I am here because I created ‘here’. A realm made to form this illusion of being home, sweet home, just on the corner of the little street you had come to live on for the past year. It is all my doing. Where you stand is simply an illusion only you and I can access, a manipulation of your dreams and memories. The only place where the real me can talk to you mostly unhindered.” The guardian gestured to his surroundings.

“It takes only one person to flip your life on it’s head, a matter of hours to make the decision of a lifetime, and a matter of days to have completely changed your life’s direction,” He turned to Virgil, and looked him straight in the eyes, feeling distant and lost.

“And only a matter of years to succumb to the depression of the lonely consequences..”

Virgil blinked at that. The sad, longing tone had him thrown for a loop; it almost felt like the Guardian wasn't even quite talking to Virgil. “I-What..? I.. I don’t understand.”

The Guardian shook his head, snapping out of it and refocusing himself. "Nevermind that. It is time I talked to you for real, if you will have me?" The Guardian held out a hand politely, though there was no real expectation for Virgil to take it.

After a pause, Virgil gave a slight nod, still suspicious of the other's intent. The Guardian returned the nod, and his hand fell to his side.

“I am limited to the time that you rest and for now I will not be able to explain myself thoroughly, so, I ask you to understand that I do not expect you to trust me when I am done. I honestly do not expect you to ever trust me. With the mistakes I have made, I firmly believe I would not deserve it.”

Virgil blinked in surprise, not having expected his captor to admit to his faults straight off the bat.

“Okay.. Well, we’re here, might as well hear your side of the story. So.. Shoot.” Virgil said lightly, distrust and suspicion still evident in his tone and stance.

“I would assume at this point you are well aware of how the story you have been told paints me as the villain, a mastermind seeking power, immortality, and revenge? At least, that is what I am led to believe is still the story, it has been many years since I have heard the tale first hand… And... Well. Would that not be so lovely?” Virgil made a face, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“I am serious. Life would be so much easier if it was all black and white, true or false, good and bad, would it not? If those who meant well knew everything and those malicious few could not corrupt anything?” The Guardian frowned a bit, frustrated with his words that couldn’t seem to cooperate with him.

“Would it not be lovely if I could talk to you without fighting to keep from turning every honest thought into a question or theoretical statement just to let it be said? That my words could hold a meaning not forcibly disguised in the forms of fables and riddles?” The Guardian looked down lamely, his words tapering off in agitation. For a moment, Virgil waited as the Guardian was silent, contemplative. Then, the next moment the Guardian’s face scrunched up in sadness and his words were soft as he placed a hand over his golden wrist markings.

“My story is complicated, and twisted with shades of grey. One could say what I did was an attempt to keep you safe, another could say that what I did was outlandish and impulsive, and stupid. But no one will be able to tell you that what I did went according to the plan I had... at first. No one will tell you that my intention was to save you, to keep your fate safe. No one will tell you that my plan was ruined. Because there is no longer anyone who remembers what happened that night except for me,”

The Guardian’s eyes flicked up to meet the ravenette’s, a hurt look passing over his face as he continued. His steady voice now just barely trembled with uncertainty as he continued.

“No one but me and the soul who wants so desperately for everyone to forget. The soul who ripped my own in two to bury the secret, and ruin you and I both.”

“My final warning is this: Beware of the man who carries the world on his shoulders unflinchingly, he will be watching you closely. You have immunity to his power thanks to our connection, you might use this knowledge well to find the truth that lies in plain sight. However, your fate lies in the decisions you chose to make with this knowledge, I can only warn you of what might come.” The Guardian nodded solemnly, choosing to finish his cryptic warning there.

Virgil stood there, reeling with the information. Sure, he definitely wasn’t completely convinced he could trust this cryptic stranger, Guardian? Foe? Friend? Virgil wasn’t really sure what to call him anymore. But damn, his life was already so fucking crazy, this was all just fucking crazy! He could just be dreaming for all he knew.

But… Deep inside, he was hoping he wasn’t.

This was, well. This wasn’t what he’d been expecting to hear when facing the man whose, er, body? Had originally tried to strangle him? Now he’d heard his sob story and, well, Virgil wasn’t that easy to fool, but he’d also been told that it wasn’t expected that he’d trust the guy even in the end and he didn’t really want to.

He’d been on the path to death for so long, and then just two days ago everything had changed. So much was happening, it was frankly exhausting. What the fuck was he, some book protagonist? Couldn’t he get a little time to think about all this before he went crazy?

Still, something under all his incredulity begged to hear the guardian out. He vaguely wondered how Stockholm Syndrome worked before he gave in a little. What difference did a little more crazy make in his life at this point?

“Fine, I’ll heed your warning, or whatever the fuck. But only if you can tell me what you mean when you said that this guy ripped your, uh, soul? In two.” Virgil huffed, partially relaxing. It was odd how comforting he found it to be, floating in this weird feeling imaginary world, where he could interact with objects that weren’t real. It felt like he was really standing in his home, and yet it was just built from memory.

The guardian’s solemn expression formed into a grim smile, eyes distant once more before nodding. “I will do the best that my words will allow.” Virgil nodded, and waited for the now very familiar stranger to gather his words and take a breath. Then he began, his markings lightly flashing gold.

“You find yourself whole one day, as you have always been. To be whole of body, whole of mind, both human and guardian in nature. To have conscious thought and control over your whole physical being and soul..

“You find that yourself and others of the winged variety are capable of separating your soul from your being, though only the most Elite can do it well. You find out the family you made would soon be in danger. You then find yourself lost and alone when you once had a home to call your own.

“You find yourself knowing a truth, a perilous truth. Your home is in shambles now that you are gone, yet they do not know it. This truth is at fault, but the blame is not fully your own in a world built on lies.

“The source of truth tucks itself into blankets of grey, drawing itself further from discovery with each passing day. Now only you know the truth. The source of the truth finds you, it seeks to hide you too.

“You find yourself split one day, as you have never been before. Forced apart from the body, trapped within the mind. Guardian in nature, to have conscious thought and your dying soul trapped within, a false mind piloting the puppeteered confines of a broken body with a blind goal.”

“You find you cannot control what you used to, you are a prisoner to a body that is no longer your own, mostly unconscious to the world around it. Crazed by the false emotions that fuel it.”

“The you that used to be is no longer, and has not been for over a hundred years. The world that knew you knows not of what you’ve become. Knows not of the shackles that bind you.

“The you that used to be is no longer, and will never be again.” The Guardian finished, hesitant yellow eyes meeting Virgil’s carefully. Phantom goosebumps trail down Virgil's arms as the final sentence strikes a cord in him.

Virgil found he really wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, the rawness in the other’s tone spoke volumes of the sore spot they’d reached.

“Your body rests, but your mind also needs time to process today. I shall see you when you next rest, though only if you wish to seek me. Rest well knowing that you will not be scooped from your safety once more, as I hope I’m never to do so again. And...” The guardian paused, considering their next words very carefully.

“I know it is selfish to ask... but, I hope and wish that Thomas is alright, after all this time... Do take care of him, would you?”

Virgil paused and stared, finding only concern and longing in the guardian’s expression. And, well, fuck. What a way to pull at a guy’s heartstrings.

“Er, yes. Yeah. I’ll try my best.” Virgil gave his signature mock salute, the Guardian tipping his hat in return.

“Trying is all I could ever ask of you, Virgil. Rest well, you will need it.” And with that final sentence, the world around Virgil gently grew dark, and he sunk into the comforting arms of sleep.

Despite it all, Virgil still found his mind vaguely conscious. Sluggish at best, but awake nonetheless.

He figured it was likely some lingering effect from the Guardian’s dream realm, but didn’t dwell on it. His life had way too much else going on to be debating the side effects gained from Guardian powers.

First, he’d been pretty damn convinced two days ago that he was going to be a goner by the end of the month. Completely resigned to die believing that his very existence was scorned by the world he’d been unwillingly born into.

Then Patton had stumbled onto his shitty apartment’s roof, found him in all of his resigned and depressed glory, and changed his life forever.

They’d mostly skipped the whole ‘Human nature is a series of life, death, and rebirth’ spiel that guardians were known to give in these situations because... Well, It wasn’t like they’d really had time to address it before the truth about his soul had come out. That he wasn’t exactly human to begin with.

Virgil didn’t think that Guardians had ever had a situation like his before. There wasn’t a protocol for comforting a kidnapped guardian soul. It’d never been a possibility before!

So it wasn’t surprising then, that Virgil didn’t have any better of a time processing it.

His whole life, all that he’d known to be true, all that he’d believed in? Everything had been uprooted and turned on its head. He’d apparently been living a life that was not supposed to be.

Perhaps for the first time in two days, Virgil realized that the thought of his death at the end of the month had not been consistently worming into his brain. It had once been something he could never seem to stop thinking about.

The death indicated by his soul timer was now perhaps the farthest thing from his mind.

Perhaps the strangest thing so far was that he wasn’t alone anymore. He’d possibly had more physical contact with other people in the short two(three?) days since this adventure started then he’d had in the past 16 years.

And wasn’t it just the cherry on top that he’d also gotten nearly choked out by the very guardian accused of kidnapping his soul in the first place? And now he was considering trusting the damn guy.

Virgil hollowly wondered why he even cared.

Why did he care about staying alive now when he’s spent his whole life believing he never would? Up until two days ago, that belief had still been true. But now? Avoiding death was the goal, Logan had stated as much.

Really, would Virgil lose anything by trusting the banished guardian? Even if the guardian was trying to trick Virgil and got him killed, what difference would it make? That’d always been the goal before. What did he, Virgil, really have to lose?

If it happened that Virgil lived past his twentieth birthday, if he became a guardian like he was supposed to be in the first place. Would he want that? Did he want that?

He wasn’t sure. Didn’t know if he ever had been.

His life had been built on resignation to the inevitable. Nothing seemed to motivate him towards liking or hating that possibility. He was just that.

Indifferent.

And wasn’t that just the greatest revelation of the night? Finding out that you’re indifferent to living or dying.

Once this was all over, if Virgil lived that long, he would make a note to see a therapist. He knew very well that this kind of mindset was unhealthy to keep. It just couldn’t be helped that the nineteen years he’d lived with this particular affliction couldn’t be fixed by a few extra hugs and comforting words.

Even if he didn’t like the fact that death sounded like the more peaceful option.

His thoughts paused, mentally sighing at the downward spiral he’d caught himself in. It was tiring, and going nowhere.

‘For now,’ he decided, ‘I’m just going to see how this plays out. The Guardian said that none of the others remember the truth, or whatever. So, It’s a ‘he said-they said’ situation right now...’

‘I’ll have to keep an eye out for the guy that he warned me about, then. Who knows if he's as dangerous as The Guardian made him out to be. It’s hard to tell with the weird way he has to talk..’

Virgil paused again, a realization striking him. If he could have groaned, he would have. Not once had he been given or even remembered to ask for the name of said Guardian. What was he supposed to call the rogue Guardian now? He couldn’t just keep calling him The Guardian!

Amidst the disbelief of such a slip up, a foreign yet familiar feeling prodded questioningly at his conscious mind. Adding confusion into the mix of emotions, he returned the feeling with a questioning thought of his own.

He briefly heard the Guardian’s whispy voice once more, now acting with permission.

“You may call me Janus”

Then all at once, Virgil woke up.

Chapter Nine

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #lamp/calm #LAMPR/CALMR #LAMP/CALM + remy ‘sleep’ sanders #tw angst #tw long post #long fic #thelostguardianau #morally grey deceit #for the time being #the aim is that he reach sympathetic but trust aint that easy

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