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transformsx · 2 years

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just the same survey thing i appropriated for laura.

SELF + HEALTH

how do they see themselves? basically realistically, except when it comes to like, being worthy of love / people being attracted to her; she definitely has a Damaged Goods Complex and she is very embarrassed about it

how do they want to be seen by others? competent. useful. gender-free

what is their life motto? “wow, i've never thought about it like that before. and i never will. i've already forgotten what you said, good bye forever“ - wolfpupy 2016

would they rather lead or follow? so hard not to make a gilmore girls joke atm but it depends??? she likes to operate within a #system and she doesn’t like being responsible for other people. but she is also extremely stubborn and hates being told what to do :-)

what motivates them? literally just spite. well, also love / [house tully vc] Family Duty Honor. but mostly spite

are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? tongue. or any old plastic bag will do

do they have any pet peeves? yeah about 5 of them

what do they most regret? don’t worry about it.

what achievement are they most proud of? she is the achievement she is most proud of

do they have any scars? yeah, lots

do they have a disability? she has fibromyalgia

do they have any allergies or food intolerances? probably. but i do not know them... yet.

do they have any long-term illnesses or injuries? several poorly-healed broken bones. chronic intestinal/digestive issues.

PERSONALITY

describe their personality in one word. stalwart

someone wrongs them. do they respond with revenge or forgiveness? she’s probably just going to pout about it until they start groveling. she is a simple man and she is unlikely to be vengeful on her own behalf (frank might kill you for wronging her, though; this HAS happened before). but she’s also never forgiven anyone for anything in her entire life, and she shows no signs of starting now :-)

do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? she does make snap judgments, but she is open to reconsidering them (though she will probably never admit she was wrong --- it happens, but it takes a lot).

are they a glass half-full or a glass half-empty kind of person? [jack shephard vc] there’s a glass?

do they express themselves through words or deeds? eh, both, but deeds are more reliable. she’s one of those people who often shows affection by being mean.

how often do they lie? as often as necessary. she doesn’t have any qualms about it. the closer she gets to you, though, the less likely it is to happen --- both because she’ll want to be truthful, and because the more defenses you knock down, the worse she will be at lying. she is so easily flustered when she is comfortable ;_; it is very sweet to me ;_;

do they listen to their head or their heart while making a decision? her heart lol though this will NOT be obvious

HABITS

how organized/disorganized are they? very organized but not necessarily in an obvious way. it makes sense to her, though. it’s not meant to make sense to you.

do they have any routines? just little ones --- the order she does things in the morning, or the steps she goes through getting ready for bed, those types of rituals. otherwise her life calls for a lot of adaptability.

talk about their mannerisms. way ahead of you. that tag is so funny. i highly recommend it

is there an item they take with them wherever they go? not other than her phone

good habits and bad habits. she’s a squirrely little nail-biting nervous smoker. and she’s always nervous. most of her habits are fine, she’s very. she’s an istj

THOUGHTS

their views on formal education vs self-education? she’s not a snob. she more than likely got her GED and definitely started out in community college / was in school way more than four years. that said, her education was really important to her, and while she definitely thinks many self-educated people are Just As Capable, she isn’t likely to like ... be able to comprehend having an in to higher education and passing it up. because she is an istj. but it’s not her business

what are their thoughts on animals? she doesn’t really have any deep thoughts or feelings about them. she does have two cats, though, so her heart is not wholly cold and dead.

how much do they care what people think about them? generally, not much, but then there are a select few people whose opinion of her is like, Everything In The World, so don’t go thinking she’s too well-adjusted

do they enjoy being the center of attention? why or why not? sexually. otherwise not at all. i don’t need to tell you why, it’s not much of a reach

how do they feel about learning? positively ...?

which do they value more: creativity or practicality? practicality. both are important, though.

thoughts on material possessions? she loves Her Items. everything about her house is so sentimental. that said, she is so clingy with her things because she grew up in poverty --- she isn’t entirely used to having things. which is an important caveat, obviously.

would they rather win an argument or avoid conflict? :-)

views on people in general? ugh.

what qualities do they admire in other people? passion, loyalty, diligence, self-awareness

how do they feel about fun? as long as you don’t want her to do it in public

what do they want written on their tombstone? she’s not thought about it. i doubt she even has a preference about what happens to her when she dies --- she’s like, idk, survivors, whatever makes you feel better :*

thoughts on privacy? (are they private or are they “tmi”?) she’s private. not exactly secretive, though, if you have clearance.

thoughts on superstitions or the occult? (do they believe, not believe, etc.) nah.

what are their religious views? she’s an atheist. not the annoying kind. she just doesn’t get it.

THE PAST

what was their childhood like? the kind of story that you think you’re to a point with that’s like “well, at least things can’t get worse!” but then you know her another year or two and you find out that they really can.

what did they want to be when they grew up? nothing. not for a lack of passion; she just wasn’t inclined to think that way. it would not have served her especially well.

as a child, what were they most likely to be found doing? playing with bugs. drawing. reading, once she got good at it --- school did not come easily to her when she was getting used to it. nobody had ever really worked with her on anything before.

which memory stands out most clearly? there’s a flashback sequence about it if you care enough to dig :-P

TOUGH STUFF

do they have any phobias? i’ve been thinking about that. i think the only ones likely to Be Relevant are she’s got some degree of fear of dogs, and she is very afraid of being sedated / anesthetized. she does not like doctors at all.

do they get nightmares? yes. she doesn’t remember her dreams all that often, though, because she drinks herself to sleep every night x

what kind of person are they? small :-)

would they let someone take the blame for something they did? not under many circumstances, but the show is called ‘how to get away with murder’ and is very much about a codependent family of morally grey legal professionals. so.

what is one way to earn their trust? you just have to be persistent. and CONsistent. it takes a certain kind of person, i guess, because she does not make it easy.

what is one way to lose their trust? she isn’t so good at that part.

one thing they would hate anyone to know about them. eh.

they have to pick one: to be loved, to be feared, or to be admired. loved! loved! but it is nice to be admired. it is sometimes even nice to be feared.

have they ever been bullied or teased? like. yeah. k-12 was hell for her.

FUN STUFF

what are they confident about? her abilities.

talk about their moral alignment. easydamus: True neutral characters are concerned with their own well-being and that of the group or organization which aids them. They may behave in a good manner to those that they consider friends and allies, but will only act maliciously against those who have tried to injure them in some way. For the rest, they do not care. They do not wish ill on those they do not know, but they also do not care when they hear of evil befalling them. Better for others to suffer the evil than the true neutral and his allies. If an ally is in need, the true neutral will aid him, out of genuine love or because he may be able to count on that ally a little more in the future. If someone else is in need, they will weigh the options of the potential rewards and dangers associated with the act. If an enemy is in need, they will ignore him or take advantage of his misfortune.True neutrals are offended by those who are opinionated or bigoted. A "hell-fire and brimstone" lawful good priest is just as offensive as a neutral evil racial supremacist in their eyes. They do not necessarily strive for philosophical balance. In fact, they may avoid philosophical considerations altogether. A true neutral may take up the cause of his nation, not because he necessarily feels obligated to do so, but because it just makes sense to support the group that protects your way of life. True neutrals tend to believe in lex talionis forms of justice.

what will make them laugh? you’re on your own! if it happens for you, you will have 7 years of good luck.

what makes them feel safe? just ... knowing where she stands. that includes her relationships with people. she’s easy to reassure if you’re in the right Relationship Category.

favorite color and the reason for it. blue. pretty.

favorite book genre? literary. she likes old mystery novels, too.

favorite movie genre? nora ephron movie. you’ve got mail is her favorite.

do they have a role model? lmfao

#study.

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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years

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Hello! Can I have a headcanon of Akane, Teru and Hanako with an s/o that loves dancing but tends to overwork themselves or forget to rest? Thanks in advance!

akane aoi x gn!reader, teru minamoto x gn!reader, hanako x gn!reader

a/n: sure thing!! Thank you so much for requesting, and remember to take care of yourself!! Also oh man hope i got the right akane- i get so confused aonfoanerf- if not, just let me know! <3

warnings: none?

word count: Collectively, 1,117

Akane Aoi <3

Now, he’s always been your biggest fan. This man cheers you on, and really admires your dedication towards dancing. He could watch you dance for ages, never growing sick of your determination. However, the moment that dedication makes you grow overworked, he’s doing his best to get you to take a break.

The moment he realizes that you seem overworked or tired, he’s getting himself a bit too involved. If he knows that you’re going to be dancing, he sets you a timer and will not stop pestering you until he’s confident that you’re taking a break. An actual break, too- not sitting aside for a minute or two so you can catch your breath.

He also sends you a lot of reminders to drink water and eat well. Akane loves you very dearly, and especially loves it when you’re healthy and happy. He makes sure that you know that, telling you that he doesn’t want to deprive you of what you love- he just wants to make sure that the person he loves is taking care of themself.

If you’re comfortable with it, if you dance at home he’ll especially enjoy either being there or being on a facetime with you. After a certain amount of time passes, he’ll announce that it’s break time! He’ll let you get to a good stopping point, but he does ask that you drink water on camera so that he knows you’re taking good care of yourself. He’ll sit with you on the phone, talking about whatever it is you want to talk about, and eventually tell you that if you want to continue, you can.

If you continue to dance after a break, he’ll still make sure that you don’t push yourself too hard. If you start to show signs of being tired or overworked, he’s going to be stopping you right in your tracks. He won’t hesitate to tell you that you’ve worked hard enough for the day, advising that you go ahead and stop for the night. He trusts you, but he doesn’t trust what goes on in the head of people who push themselves past their limits, so expect him to pester you just a tiny bit- just to make sure that you’re taking proper care of yourself.

Teru Minamoto <3

Teru loves that you love to dance! He supports you the entire time, and loves to watch you practice- he even asks if you’d teach Tiara once she got older. His precious S/O teaching his little princess a dance or tips for dancing is an idea that absolutely warms his heart.

However, the moment he catches on to your habit of overworking and exhausting yourself, Teru begins to keep an especially watchful eye on you. He’s pretty perceptive of things, so there’s not much use in trying to fool him.

Reminds you constantly to take care of yourself. Even at school over little things, he’d advise that you take a moment- when it comes to dancing, which he soon realizes really can be intense exercise, he slightly bombards you with kind reminders. He just wants you to drink water, get a snack if you’re hungry, and sit down for at least 15 minutes. That’s all :))

If you aren’t on the phone with you, he’ll kindly ask for you to prove that you’re drinking water and/or taking a break. Be it sending a picture with a water bottle in hand, or facetiming him to prove that you’re actually sitting down, and actually hydrating.

I feel like Teru also has the tendency to overwork himself- he does it in a way that is very casual though, if that makes sense? He’ll push himself far past his limits, but he’ll just be in his usual smiley mood the entire time. This man could be dead tired and just play it off like nothings happening. Because of that, he’s cautious towards your habit. He doesn’t want you to be able to hide your exhaustion so that he can go ahead and bust it.

It’s probably mainly subconsciously, but Teru will work himself a bit less once he starts to make sure you do the same. He doesn’t want to be a hypocrite, sure, but he also realizes that his advice of “it can wait a bit, just sit for a few minutes” and “your body is more important than something like that” is… correct.

Hanako <3

Hanako definitely teases you a bit when he finds out that you like to dance. He’ll probably do a little shake or spin and be like “hey, (Y/N)! I’m dancing too! Aren’t I great?” It’s all lighthearted though- and, if we’re being honest, it’s mainly because he wants your attention. And to see you laugh… the only issue would be that he’s trying to make you laugh using his own sense of humor-

Genuinely though, he does think it’s fairly neat. I’m sure Hanako didn’t have many friends when he was alive, and there wasn’t immediate access to music videos or anything when he was alive, so he doesn’t know too much about dancing. He’ll probably ask you to dance for him, even if it’s just a bit, and (if you agree) he’ll soon realize that it’s harder than it seems.

Hanako can be a bit slower at picking up on things than Teru and Akane, but he’ll eventually realize how tired you look one day after school. He’ll pester you until you admit that you stayed up too late practicing- it then clicks that, hey, that explains a bit. Oh hey- that’s not good.

So, he tells you- to your face- “eh? Don’t do that, you’re going to hurt your lovely body :((“

Ah. Of course, Hanako. That will solve everything, won’t it?- He’s not dumb, sure he knows it’s not going to make you magically stop overworking yourself. So, he starts trying to notice more, and also tries to encourage breaks more.

At one point, he tells you “you may not be able to take many breaks from your bathroom cleaning duties, but you should take a break when actually exercising! You’re gonna get hurt, (Y/N)- and then, who’s gonna do such a great job at cleaning my bathroom?”

Honestly, his method of helping is pestering… he’ll poke you, stare into your eyes to see if you’ve got any dark circles, and overall use the excuse that he’s making sure you won’t work more than you should to jab at you. It may not be the most helpful, but the genuine care and affection behind his actions and comments are sometimes all someone needs to realize that- if not for yourself- you should take care of your body for your little ghosty boyfriend.

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pennylanefics · 4 years

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Soft Alphabet - Four

a/n: reposting bc it disappeared from tags 🙃 tumblr’s being a bitch again ugh

∙∙∙

A - Affection (how do they show affection)

four gives you looks that mean everything. sure, it may not seem like a lot, but when you two first got together and were sneaking around, the looks and glances he gave you to silently tell you that he cares for you meant everything. he’s not really good with his words, and he can’t really go out and buy you stuff that you want, in the beginning. so looks are the only thing he has. he can say so much with his eyes, you can tell when he’s admiring you deeply and thinking about how much he loves you.

B - Balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)

you two spend everyday together, basically, so there is no balance. you spend every waking minute with one another and the group. but you do try to spend time alone or with other group members, away from one another, just to have a break. but, at the end of the day, you are back with one another, enjoying dinner, chatting about what you did that day.

C - Cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)

cuddles come after very stressful missions. when both of you two are exhausted and just need to relax, you’ll head to his trailer and just fall onto his bed, curling up with one another. the lights usually stay off, if it’s at night. if it’s during the day, he makes sure to shut all the blinds so the least amount of light can get through. you two usually stay quiet, just wanting the comfort of one another after a hard day, but sometimes, he’ll ask you stuff here and there.

D - Date (what was your first date?)

he has five and two help him make a nice dinner for you two in his trailer, after months of just sneaking around and seeing one another in your trailers. he could have just ordered food in, but he wanted it to be special. since two cooks the best and five knows how to set things up so you would like it. she helps with decorating the dingy trailer, making the table look presentable and setting out some wine and roses. it’s a really nice night, honestly. four is pretty nervous and it shows, but he lightens up as the alcohol begins to course through him. overall, you two have a great time, and end up in bed together anyways.

E - Excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)

he tries to keep the excitement down, but on the inside, he loves seeing you. especially after long periods of time, like if he goes on a mission with one or any of the group members, and you don’t go. he’ll wait till you’re alone and he picks you up, spinning you around and giving you kisses all over your face. he doesn’t want the others knowing how in love he is with you, just yet.

F - Fighting (what happens when you fight)

your fights usually consist of you yelling at him for being stupid during a mission. he makes a single near fatal mistake and you’re going off, telling him how he needs to not be so careless on missions and that he should be more aware of his surroundings. he then goes off, saying that he’s been in the group longer so he knows more than you do, and this of course sparks a lot more anger in both of you.

G - Gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)

he is plain and simple, preferring stuff like ‘babe’ and ‘baby’. sometimes, he finds himself using your real name instead of your code name, eight, after you two had a deep conversation about your lives before the group. it’s only when you’re alone, though, with one being so against using real names around each other. but you two trust one another a lot, so when you’re alone, you call him billy, and he calls you by your real name.

H - Hi (first time meeting)

you are recruited to the group well after four’s already been in it. they have already gone through a couple people after seven joined, but none of them worked out. but when you came along, you stuck. but, the idea didn’t take to four. he was expecting you to be like the others, liking the idea for a few months then hating it. so, he was kind of cold to you, expecting you to take his shit and deal with it. but no. you actually stood up to him and declared yourself as part of the group really quickly. he was taken aback, but nonetheless, got to know you better afterwards.

I - Intimacy (how romantic they are)

eh. i feel like four doesn’t have enough experience to be super romantic. like yeah, he’s had girlfriends in the past, but they’ve never been serious enough to the point where he gets romantic with them. his girlfriends were usually against that sort of thing, but when he met you, he loved getting you things, like flowers, teddy bears, chocolates. he’s also gotten you necklaces and rings, rightfully with his own money, of course.

J - Jealousy (do they get jealous? how do they react to you being jealous)

he’s not jealous of one, three, or seven. he knows you wouldn’t leave him for any of them, so he’s fine when he sees you talking with them. the only thing he really gets jealous about is getting to spend time with you. so if you spend the day with any of the other group members, his mood changes a bit, upset at the fact that he missed an entire day without you. but you make up for that lost time by spending the rest of the afternoon and night in his trailer.

K - Kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)

four’s kisses are mostly quick and short. he’s not one for showing much emotion since it’s not something he’s used to, so he settles for little kisses, which aren’t satisfactory for you. but you get it. when missions start getting more serious, though, his kisses become much more meaningful. the first time you have a near-death experience, he grabs your face and kisses you so deeply and passionately. he apologizes for not being very loving with you and promises to make kisses more meaningful and more frequent.

L - Love (when was the first time they said i love you or realized it?)

he realizes it after he almost dies during a mission. you were crying loudly as he dangled from a building, held by the enemy. the only thing running through his mind was you. he wanted to live the rest of his life with you, he wanted to have kids with you, that’s the only thing he could think of. thankfully, he was able to pull himself to safety and push the other guy over the ledge. when he returned to the group, you jumped right into his arms, crying into his chest. he whispers that he loves you over and over again and just holds you close. the group allows you have your time together before you really have to go. but when you get back to your trailers, four doesn’t leave your side for days. and he continues to repeat that he loves you as much as he can.

M - Moving in (when do you decide to move in together)

you technically already live together, so there’s not really a typical “official” story. you spend every waking moment of every day together anyway, but you still like having separate trailers. most of the time, anyways, you’re with him in his trailer, almost as if it’s yours as well. and it’s the same with yours. you two kind of acted like both trailers are yours, and you just spend time in whichever one you want, whenever you want.

N - Newborn (their reaction to starting a family)

the thought of being a dad worries him. he doesn’t want his son or daughter to turn out like he did, so being in a vigilante group isn’t a good start. you two decide to leave and go back to your regular lives, as the people you were before entering the group. it’s a really hard decision, but four is so much happier with the idea; neither of you were in danger and you didn’t have to worry about you getting hurt on missions and possibly losing the baby. the rest of the group was upset they wouldn’t be able to see the baby, but they were very understanding, even one.

O - Open (how open you are with one another)

in the beginning, he’s not very open with you. and it’s for good reasons. none of you in the group are open with one another. but when you and four start getting to know each other more and become more than friends, he feels obligated to tell you more about his life before. so, after three months of knowing each other, you have a long and deep conversation where you two spill everything. your real names, the reasons you joined the group, anything related to your lives outside of being a vigilante.

P - Photos (what kind of photos you take of them/they take of you)

you don’t really have modern cameras, per one’s request, but he does have a shit load of old polaroid cameras. so four takes advantage of this and takes many photos of you. his favorite thing to picture you doing is having fun in the desert. you two will just walk around, the wind blowing your hair as he takes candids of you. he loves how carefree you look and how beautiful the sunlight makes you.

Q - Quirks (what random habits do you have that they love or hate/vice versa)

four has a problem with being careless. he doesn’t care about safety most of the time, which upsets you and makes you mad sometimes. he has that idea that you all are dead so why does it matter? but he rarely remembers that you aren’t actually dead. not really a quirk, but something he does that pisses you off too much.

R - Recovery (how you help them after an injury/vice versa)

four always lets you help him with his injuries. he knows you hate when he’s injured, just as much as he hates when you are. five usually does it, since she is the doctor, but four will only let you help him, unless it’s a serious injury and he actually needs four to save his life. but if it’s a few cuts and scrapes, he gives into you. and he does the same thing. when you get hurt, he’s right by your side, getting anything you need, being very overprotective.

S - Solution (how they resolve fights)

the group usually has to get you two back together after a fight. you take a break from one another, and it’s awkward for the group. so two takes you and three takes four and they lock you two in two’s trailer until you both can talk things out and get the fight over with. after hours of saying nothing, two and three yell at you both and get you to talk. finally, you start making progress, and in the end, things work out. you two then head back to either yours or four’s trailer to make things up.

T- Touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)

usually after very tough missions, four wants nothing more than to cuddle in his trailer and hold you. this happens after every mission, really, but especially during the more dangerous and risky ones, where he comes to terms with the fact that you could have been killed so easily. you don’t even need to touch him, really, the feel of you in his arms is enough. but, you play with his hair when this happens, sometimes stroking his cheek or playing with his hand, tracing the tattoo on the back of it. he needs the reassurance that you’re still alive and very much with him.

U - Up ( waking up with them)

waking up with four is the best. he has his arms around you every single time, even if he enjoys his space when he falls asleep, he somehow manages to pull you into his arms in his sleep. if you’re still asleep, he just presses kisses to your forehead, trying to wake up a bit more before getting up and starting the day. if you’re up before him, you absolutely love playing with his messy hair and stroking his soft skin. he looks so much more angelic when he’s out, and you love it because he usually has this hard exterior, so him sleeping is the rare chance you get to see him be so calm.

V - Vacation (where they travel with you)

your vacations are your missions. you’ve gone to italy, dubai, france, switzerland, all over the world. since you live a life with no schedules, you go wherever missions take you. and you’re more than okay with it. this life has given you a chance to travel to so many places you would have never been able to go to. if there’s time, you two try to explore the city as much as you can, of course staying low key and all that. even then, it’s much more exciting and fun to be in a place you’re not really supposed to be.

W - Wedding (how they propose/where you get married/honeymoon)

four proposes nonchalantly, really. you two would be relaxing on the beach in italy, and you’ve been dating for a while at that point. he just asks what you would think about getting married, and at first, you have no clue that he’s trying to say that he wants to marry you. but once things fall into place, you are covering his face in kisses and saying yes over and over again. but of course, you don’t have a huge wedding, you kind of just elope and put the title on it without a marriage license, because that’s against the group ‘policy’.

X - X-factor (what about you captivated them?)

your strong-willed behavior. he liked the fact that you were strong enough to leave your entire life behind to fight crimes. sure, it’s the same thing he did, but you seemed like you had a perfect life, and you were okay with leaving it behind. he had nothing going for him, so this life was the best for him. when you told him your story, he was in awe of how strong you are and he loves that you are so selfless to help others.

Y - Yawning (how they act when they’re tired)

four kind of shuts out when he’s tired. he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, he doesn’t want to do anything, he just wants to relax and enjoy some quiet time. including away from you. you know that if you mess with him when he’s tired, he gets mad and angry. he’s much more agitated and sometimes, that ends badly.

Z - Zzzz (how you fall asleep together)

he likes his space. which is hard to do on a small bed in a trailer. this is why you don’t really fall asleep with one another until well into your relationship. but the first time you fall asleep beside four, it’s the only thing he wants. he begs you to sleep in his trailer whenever you can, and from that point, he doesn’t care about space. he wants to be as close to you as possible, breathing in your scent and feeling your warmth.

#four #billy #ben hardy #four imagines #four x reader #billy imagines #billy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #six underground #6 underground #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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eralisse · 3 years

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Brothers Conflict: Season 1 LN - Ch11, Sec10 & Sec11

Another partial segment of the Iori/Kaname conflict, this time at the cherry blossom viewing in Volume 4, when Iori tries to drag Ema off.

Long discussion at the bottom.

Brothers Conflict Translations Index

Masaomi: “Wataru, shall we go home soon?”

Masaomi-san said while looking at his watch.

Wataru: “Ehh, already…”

Masaomi: “Because, look at what time it is.”

Ukyo: “It’s certainly about time to go.”

Ukyo-san also glanced at his watch.

Ukyo: “Any more and it’ll affect you tomorrow.”

Wataru: “Just a little longer…”

Masaomi: “Wataru.”

Wataru: “.......Ugh.”

Wataru-chan gave in reluctantly, pouting.

As Masaomi-san said, it had gotten quite late.

Outside of a few street lamps, the lights lit here and there until just now had gone out, and only moonlight shone down.

By this time, Subaru-san, Rui-san, Tsubaki-san, Azusa-san, Natsume-san who had fallen into the pond, Yuusuke-kun, and Fuuto-kun had already gone home earlier.

Kaname: “What’s this, everyone’s leaving?”

Hikaru: “Already? It’s still only early evening.”

Kaname: “Imouto-chan, you’re still good, right?”

Ema: “Y-you’re asking me?”

Ukyo-san interjected.

Ukyo: “You should go home. The only ones remaining are Kaname and Hikaru. Of the ones you could think of, this is the worst pairing.”

Kaname: “Uwah, such cruel words.”

Hikaru: “... I’m not convinced to just take myself out like that.”

Ukyo: “What are you saying? Do you think there are people more immoral out there than you two?”

Masaomi: “Now, now.”

Masaomi-san interrupted.

Masaomi: “Whether to stay or go is something for her to decide. What do you want to do?”

Ema: “Uh, um…”

In all the commotion, there hadn’t been much time to look at the cherry blossoms. That’s why, to speak frankly, I wanted to stay a little longer.

Ema: “If possible, I’d like to stay.”

Ukyo: “But…”

Ukyo-san started to say. But Masaomi-san stopped him.

Masaomi: “It’s fine, Ukyo. If she wants to, why not let her?”

Kaname: “Well said, Masa-nii, very reasonable.”

Masaomi-san turned toward Kaname-san.

Masaomi: “After all, Kaname is always thinking of her. Nothing bad will happen. Isn’t that right, Kaname?”

After being told that by Masaomi-san, Kaname-san opened his eyes wide for a moment, and then let out a loud breath.

Kaname: “I give up. If you say that much, I can’t even do anything wrong, let alone anything bad.”

(What do you mean by “anything wrong”, Kaname-san?!)

Hikaru: “Ehhh.”

Hikaru-san looked at Masaomi-san admiringly.

Hikaru: “Masa-nii, you’ve gotten impressive. What happened while I was away?”

Masaomi: “She’s changed me.”

This was said so naturally that, at first, I completely ignored Masaomi-san’s words.

Masaomi: “Well then, let’s go, Wataru.”

Wataru: “Mm… Okay.”

Ukyo: “Please clean up properly. That would be good.”

After Masaomi-san, Ukyo-san, and Wataru-chan got up and left, I suddenly felt my cheeks get hot.

(M-Masaomi-san…)

Hikaru: “What’s this, you’re only just now getting bashful?”

Hikaru laughed.

Hikaru: “This girl is amusing. I’m a little interested.”

Kaname: “Hey hey, no more, give me a break from having more guys interested in Imouto-chan.”

Kaname-san drained his glass of the remaining wine.

Kaname: “Rivals keep showing up, at all times…”

Just then, I felt the presence of someone closeby.

Iori: “Hey, I’m sorry to make you wait.”

When I turned, Iori-san was standing there.

Ema: “Iori-san…”

Iori:　”Sorry, work went overtime. Though I’m happy that you waited for me… Anyway, let’s go.”

Iori-san took my hand and started to walk away. Then, I heard Kaname-san’s voice.

Kaname: “Hold up, Iori.”

Iori: “What, Kaname-niisan.”

Iori-san looked back at Kaname-san.

Kaname: “Today’s not a date. This is a flower-viewing with the family.”

Iori: “Is that so? But it doesn’t look like there’s anyone else here.”

Kaname: “Hikaru and I are here.”

Iori: “Why must I have the flower-viewing with Kaname-niisan?”

The moonlight hitting Iori-san’s white face tinged it a faint blue.

I realized that Kaname-san’s fists were clenched tightly.

Kaname: “Because we’re family, you know?”

Iori: “We’re related by blood, that’s true.”

Iori smiled.

Iori: “But, what meaning does that have?”

Kaname: “Imouto-chan!”

Kaname-san drew closer.

Kaname: “You’re going home.”

Ema: “B-but…”

Kaname: “Just go.”

Kaname-san pulled Iori-san’s hand off of mine.

Iori: “Kaname-niisan.”

Bathed in moonlight, Iori-san glowed palely.

Iori: “Love is mightier than anything else. That’s what you always say.”

Iori-san smiled. It was so beautiful that I couldn’t help but shiver.

Iori: “I’ve also come to think that, too. Even so, why do you still object?”

Iori-san held out his hand, as if he were calling out to me.

Iori: “Say. You’ll be together with me, right?”

Ema: “... Iori-san.”

Kaname: “No talking.”

Kaname-san raised an arm to block my vision.

Kaname: “Listen to what I’m saying. You’re going home right now. ... Hikaru, take her home.”

I heard Iori-san’s voice.

Iori: “Kaname-niisan, you look like you’re doing your best, but how long do you think you can continue this?”

Kaname: “... For as long as I live.”

Kaname-san said.

Kaname: “You said it yourself. The power of love is stronger than anything else.”

Iori-san, illuminated by the light of the moon, and Kaname-san, standing in the shadows of the cherry blossom trees.

The two of them stood there, staring intently at the other.

Hikaru: “... Well then, let’s go.”

Hikaru-san pulled at my arm.

Hikaru: “We’re just going to be in the way.”

(Kaname-san… Iori-san…)

We left that place, with Hikaru-san pulling me along. My mind was in chaos, and words would not come. I could not even understand what was going on.

---

Hikaru: “... Have you calmed down a little?”

Hikaru-san said as we arrived at the apartment complex.

Ema: “Eh…? Ah, y-yes…”

Hikaru: “Liar.”

Hikaru smiled pleasantly.

Hikaru: “You’re really worried, aren’t you?”

Ema: “...”

Hikaru: “I understand. It’s natural.”

Hikaru-san pressed the button for the elevator. Empty, the elevator came to a stop on the first floor, and the light for it turned on.

Hikaru: “If you leave it to Kaname, he’ll deal with it properly. Besides, Iori will be fine.”

Ema: “But…”

Even so, I was really worried. That atmosphere was not normal. Kaname-san and Iori-san were different from usual.

Hikaru: “You know. There is a big difference between people who look like they’re going to do something, versus people who have actually done something. … Here, go on in.”

At Hikaru’s prompting, I got into the elevator.

Hikaru: “I said this earlier. I’m quite familiar with those kinds of people. So I can say with confidence, the two of them will be okay. More than that-”

Hikaru-san looked over at me.

Hikaru: “I’m more worried about you.”

Ema: “... I, I’m fine.”

At that answer, Hikaru-san smiled wryly.

Hikaru: “You really are a liar. … Still, to have the guts to be able to say that is impressive. I see, I understand now.”

Ema: “Understand what?”

Hikaru: “The reason why you have captivated all of the guys.”

Ema: “... Eh?”

Just then, the elevator arrived at the fourth floor where my room was.

Hikaru: “For now, this is my advice.”

Hikaru-san said, as we got to my door.

Hikaru: “Take a hot shower, and then go straight to bed. Don’t think about anything. Okay?”

After saying that, he steered me into my room.

Hikaru: “Well then, good night. … See you tomorrow.”

I heard his voice through the door, and then, after a while, the sound of footsteps moving away.

---

Comments

From the various comments I've read over the years, I get the feeling that people don't think that Iori is forceful. Which, I kind of get, since he's not as loud about it. However, reading carefully, he's still pretty... grabby. Both physically and verbally. In this scene, Iori straight up goes to Ema, grabs her hand, and tries to walk away with her. I don't know about you, but I didn't see any consent from Ema for that. (Lack of No does not mean Yes. Only a Yes counts as consent. No and lack of No do not count.) Later on, in Volume 5, he grab/hugs Ema and kisses her. In the illustrations for that scene, he pulls Ema into him so she's off-balance, and has both arms around her. Hell, she even has tears in her eyes in the picture, and when he kisses her, he has both hands holding her face.

Compare that to Kaname's kiss illustrations in Volume 1, where he's holding Ema's arms loosely, and she's still balanced on her own, kneeling on the sand. (And in the game, she had enough leverage to push him away completely afterwards.) I know both of them kissed her without consent, I get it. But one of them was a lot more forceful about it.

Maybe I'm making excuses for him, but I feel like the whole business with Kaname forcing his kiss was the writer's way to set him up to fail. Remember, in this competition, there can be only one winner. And assuming that the conflicts were planned, then Kaname had to be taken out of the running somehow and he was first on the chopping block. After the whole kiss business, I've noticed that Kaname never touches her again. Well, possessively or romantically, anyway. Which then opens him up to show his (true) fatherly/brotherly side in the later volumes.

It's pretty sad that the anime, and even the game, focuses so much on his flirty side. Which he is, for sure, but in the books, it seems to happen more when there are other brothers present? Like, it's more of a habit, or a facade. In Volume 5, in the sections I translated in my previous post, he flat out says that he doesn't like to be pushy towards women. Also, he is a host and a Buddhist monk. As a host, if he was too pushy, I doubt that so many women would come to him. At Club Buddha, where he works, he is the second most popular host/monk. (Following Ryuusei, who is not made out to be the pushy type. That said, Chiaki at number 3 is super pushy, so hmmm.) Anyway, I would also imagine that he, being a host, would be always super aware of where his hands are and what he's doing. And this is explicitly stated in the books and games, but he is skilled at reading people, so he would know for sure when Ema is uncomfortable. Secondly, from some outside reading, Buddhism is rather big on consent. And not just verbal consent, as I mentioned earlier, but actual acceptance, freely given true consent. Outside of the flirtiness, Kaname is canonically a good monk. And for the rest of the novels, he tries really hard to do good to Ema. That's why, I think his initial characterization and all that with the kiss was a contrivance. Or maybe, he just messed up; 27 is still young enough for mistakes.

#brothers conflict #kaname asahina #asahina kaname #iori asahina #asahina iori #season 1 chapter 11 #translation

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goblinconceivable · 3 years

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oh ffs, i have feels but also head exploded

So basically someone liked a story I wrote a million years ago and mostly forgotten about, and when that happens I often reread the thing. (I can’t be the only one who does that...) Can’t say I’ve thought about Alex/Izzie since I wrote it, couldn’t even tell you when I stopped watching the show, though I think it was before her cancer.

Anyway I infected myself with feels for them again. And I dig the style I was using, 1+1 started a third chapter for funsies and should have stopped there. Because I did some reading and watched some clips and it’s all too much and when that happens I meta.

Usual mishmash, structure desired but no work put into achieving it. Classic brain dump.

Okay, fundamentals first. I am for now ignoring how Izzie/KH left the show. Because they had to exit her somehow and I’m sure Shonda was pissed at her, (or was leaving the door open for her return but I doubt it.) Haven’t seen it, if I needed to I could work it into my conception of their whole arc, but since I’m more critically hung up before that point, not worrying about it.

What’s got me messed up is that RIGHT AFTER Izzie promised to not go crazy, she... went crazy. Like, WTF was that about? I get that GA is all about the soapy drama, that is why I stopped watching. First couple seasons: brilliant. Downhill from there. But two things:

1) We never get to see these two happily together. One hot second and bam.*** Every. Time. Shonda allowed it for Meredith and Derek, but in my brain other couples got it for periods of time at the least. But these two, nope. And know what? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FASCINATING TO WATCH. I could delve into this and might swing back around but trying to hit highlights.

2) It set them on two different storylines instead of one. And Izzie got the short stick. Yes I can see how it works on paper, but not on screen. There are limits to the visual medium and limits to how much screen time they were given, which pretty much destroy the ability to nuance something this complex.

a) Izzie’s in her own world dealing with a ghost and is basically in two relationships at once (mental note to look for parallels with Alex’s exit and Jo v Izzie.) Except one’s a dream and the other is a reality that is still developing, yet she can’t give attention to. She has to fight every time to be there for Alex in the real world, and we don’t really get to explore her struggle. It often just looks like distraction and distance and him being second right after she firmly laid out that she cares about him.

b) Alex is in a relationship and is super happy and excited and wants the perfection he’s dreamed about to be real so much he’s overlooking everything that’s off. In his own little dream world I guess, but like, the whole thing skews into this being the story of Alex while Izzie is wandering in circles somewhere over in that direction, all serving the purpose of advancing exploration and development of Alex’s character. When did KH ask to be let out? If it was after this point, Shonda svcks. I mean, it is cool to watch him really blossom, but since he’s doing it under his own steam I’m left with a bad taste in my mouth. Because he’s not really in a real relationship. I want to see him get that, I want to see it for real.

***What IS interesting, I’ll admit, is that when they’re not together, they’re beautiful. Which is most of the time, so they gave me that. I’m a massive fan of the bittersweet, the star crossed, the never-quite-on-the-same-page, the nuance, the “it’s a deeper connection, a deeper love than just romance.” Thank gosh, it is time for excited thoughts. Because there is a strong friendship and mutual reliance and helping each other grow, pushing and giving hard truths and encouragement, and yes romance is woven through this but not the genesis and used more in terms of nudging everything along the path.

I love that Alex basically imprints on Izzie. I love that he loves her the whole time. But he’s willing to step back. He may get jealous and resentful and petty and scared and mean. But those are natural human emotions, Izzie gets them too, and they’re fundamental to his character and through those things he learns and grows. Izzie doesn’t make him. She entices him. Yeah, often directs him, especially at first. But at some point he’s growing on his own, in fits and starts, in reaction to his own emotions.

For example, when Izzie tells him she slept with George, he gets pissed, but also admits why pretty readily. And he tells her the truth, remarkably straightforwards. He reaches out to her a lot. And she turns him aside a lot. And he keeps loving. Even if romance is off the table. He runs after her a lot. Sits next to her when she’s upset a lot. Is understanding a lot. He’s different with her, and look I’m a fangirl, it’s a trope, I swallow bait line and hook. Which should be bait hook and line if my vague understanding of fishing is correct. I fished once, with safety implements, and still cried even as they removed the fish and popped it back into the water. (Okay I just reread to sort out where I’d gotten too and it’s hook line and sinker. Statistically someone will probably read this someday, you have my full permission to laugh at me. Anyway...)

The quintessential moment, the revved to 100, of course being when Izzie is clinging to a dead Denny. They’re all standing around. No one even looks surprised with jilted Alex talks to her. In a really caring way. And this is still fairly early on, wasn’t watching anything but their scenes but this had to be rare sight eh? (Mebbe?) And then he picks her up and sits down holding her and she clings and cries and like symbolism and could essay that but not going to right now because the broad relevant stroke is that Alex loves Izzie selflessly. And this is the pinpoint core of why I can buy his ending, because he can’t NOT love Izzie. I don’t think he even wants to stop. Though he can set it down in his heart and let her go and doesn’t pine. But he never stops loving her and it’s so many kinds of love imperfectly yet perfecly forged.

Forged. But also born. Stars uncrossed. I have emotions without words and if I try I’ll never get out of it to move on, so moving on.

(Oh, George telling Alex to talk to Izzie because she won’t talk to him about whatever it was. Isn’t is crazy that Izzie’s emotional squishy bestie goes to the emotionally stunted bad boy to help her because... it’s an understanding of the two-way Izzie/Alex bond, but also this crazy trust that Alex will show up.)

I love that Izzie isn’t blind to his faults, truly doesn’t like his faults, but has eternal faith for who he is and can be. She always saw him as someone with walls, once she stumbled on a lose stone and got a glimpse inside. She knows. She doesn’t always understand, but she knows.

Slight divergence from that line of thought, but its a great moment when they get together and he’s fairly transparently trying to make sure they’re in a committed relationship by dangling other women in front of her, and she’s a little ticked that he seems to be taking it rudely casually. Probably a bit of insecurity, but I’d say more that she has a long history of not reading him from the perspective of him loving her. Ie, 100% not recognizing that telling him about sleeping with George would hurt him. And doesn’t get it until he comes in and he’s dropped the swagger and it’s a “I know I’m doing something wrong and I don’t know how to do it right so help me” thing.

(Random memories of Sloan/Don from The Newsroom when she’s crying on the floor and Don comes in a sits next to her. I wuvs them too.)

I love that she openly leans on him, when he offers support she takes it. She doesn’t ask why, she accepts it and leans into it and is open to it because she trusts him because she knows him. The bits where she hates him tend to fall out of romantic issues, but when that’s removed from the equation they’re in sync. And the thing is, just as caring is fundamental to Alex’s nature, trust is fundamental to Izzie’s. And those two things weave into each other. Kinda like rats and the food button. When Alex reaches out Izzie she honestly accepts it, a “reward.” So he’s comfortable doing it again, and again. And when she does rebuff him he’s seen rewards come out enough that he doesn’t just scatter. And when Izzie trusts him, he rewards her with gentleness and care. She has the rougher time of it overall, because Alex is more screwed up emotionally, and breaks her trust more often than she rebuffs him, but that’s where Alex’s constant love comes in. But I cannot recall enough critical moments to have a cohesive proof, so I could be a little off base.

In my head Alex has always loved Izzie more than Izzie loves him, but I think my memory was unfair. There is a real constancy to Izzie’s affection, though I don’t think she imprinted on Alex as he did on her. She’s a different person, loves differently, has different issues. But my longstanding impression is mostly because of Denny. Who she truly did love, though the qualities of that love deserve exploration which I will not at this time attempt. And Denny loved her. The whole “side loves along the way” being a trope. Though usually “it ended in death/deathlike state” is given to the man and so THANK YOU SHONDA. Thinking of classics like Jane Eyre and Rebecca though I think both were actually crazypants first wives. And I do think female character’s side guys have a habit of dying, but it tends to feel more like a plot point to shut the door on continued love, whereas Denny remains a part of Izzie’s life.

At any rate, despite superficial similarities, Alex doesn’t hit the trope because his crazypants relationship wasn’t ever really about the woman: yep Alex got Rebecca, and Rebecca was crazypants, and it was a plot point to get him to the crying. Rebecca wasn’t love. It was never love. BUT

She DID, in every way, highlight what needed to be highlighted. 1) That he desperately wants a family. 2) that caring for someone, not just about them, is fundamental to him, (and ties neatly into him caring for Izzie all those sitting on the floor conversations.) and c) it’s not entirely healthy. Which is ALSO why thrusting his new happy relationship with Izzie into caregiver role is insensitive and undermines the relationship because it only makes sense if we got to see them both happy in the relationship first. And then we can see the quality of his caregiving change. But we didn’t. So bugger it.

I do LOVE how they let almost the whole next season play out he fallout of all that. Something taken slowly! We got to explore it. Did feel a bit drawn out tbh. But it just emphasizes the weight of it, I guess. Especially as it was a subplot amongst 100 others. This was their development for the season. Which was mostly Alex. But Izzie’s reactions revealed some things about her as well. Majorly dancing around laying it out for a close look and I don’t know why.

Favourite moment? Maybe Izzie putting her hand on Alex’s chest when he’s freaking out and telling him to stop, he doesn’t need to say any more. Because he’s trying to convince her of something, and she understands. And the trying to convince is shredding him, and she knows that. It’s a very loving and accepting “stop.” She’d already taken charge of the situation, for the good of the patient. She’d already taken charge because she knew Alex couldn’t handle it, he was too deep in something to see clearly. And she’s still in charge. She doesn’t break down and cry for him, or try to comfort him, he’s been thrown back into childhood and PTSD might literally be at play and what he needs, and she understands, is someone he can trust, who’s calm and gentle but strong and solid, to say it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to carry this on your own. We have it now. Because when we’re little and in over our heads what we want and what we need is an adult to take the burden. And still the physical contact is comforting, her tone of voice reassuring. She creates a space where he can feel safe and heard.

Ugh, rewatching, and we’re watching him literally devolve. Stages of grief ya’ll. He’s using every tactic to try and get what he thinks he needs: being able to take care of Rebecca. He’s in denial that anything is wrong. He gets angry when Izzie grabs him, to the point of threatening to hit her (though it’s fighting words and not real threat, and Izzie totally knows that.) He dives into bargaining. She’ll be okay if he can take care of her. He can do it. He tries to convince her it’s true.

By the time he gets home it’s depression. Not just Rebecca, but about his mom. And Izzie approaches him differently. In the hospital it was immediate and she was “in charge,” and needed to be in all facets, but at home, with the situation taken care of, she’s a friend. An equal. Which is what he needs right now. His sticking point later is the crying, so I kinda wonder how he’d react just to having told her about taking care of his mom as a kid. Right at the start he told that kid about his dad, (dad beating up his mom and him beating up his dad) while Izzie was within listening distance and didn’t seem fussed. But it’s ultimately a story about him being manly and protecting his mom physically. Which would be why it’s several seasons in before this crops up - waaay more intimate information. Probably all lumped into one, with the crying as shorthand. And mostly that his past is a fact, it’s his emotions he wants to keep private and deny.

He clearly did try to drown his emotions with sex. I’m not sure it would have worked with a random girl because he’s way too close to crying to do much of anything. And obviously doesn’t work with Izzie because sex is apparently emotional intimacy and I guess comfort for men moreso than women, but it plays out as a desperate attempt to get comfort in a safer way. Bargaining again, I suppose. “Have sex and will be fine tomorrow.” But, as noted, he doesn’t get that far because it’s too heavy and he rather quickly is just sobbing.

Which is a lovely parallel to holding Izzie while she cried on him after Denny died. Though Izzie had no qualms and no massive emotional recoil because emotions and vulnerability are normalized for females Izzie is a particularly emotional person. And an inverse of all the times Izzie is an emotional wreck and Alex sits down besides her and offers her support and understanding.

Could also argue that Izzie just saying “I’m sorry... About Rebecca. And your mom” - it’s an emotionally intimate moment. Of understanding. She’s acknowledging the two situations, and isn’t trying to do anything about them, explain or push or anything else. Just make him feel understood and not alone and sex is the way he can respond to that. How to process that in a way that feels manly to him? Also notably Izzie does seem to be going with it, and it’s aborted because he starts sobbing. And is still saying “Please” which is amazing, because he totally was never asking Izzie to just sleep with him. He wants to make it stop - the pain, emotions, probably reliving memories. But also... stages of grief. He needs to feel it, so he can accept it. He really just needs to cry, and grieve, and not be alone.

And it’s like... this is where their love story feels epic because it would look so different if they didn’t have all the levels and layers of love. Take out the romantic/sexual aspect. Take out the friendship. The trust. The family. Take out anything and this can’t play out.

Who didn’t love moments like Alex explaining to Bernedette Peters that men sometimes need to protect their manliness in the eyes of the woman they love. And they’ll do shit things to protect that manliness, but it’s because they care. Which is obviously idiotic and while romantic on screen is very much not so in real life, but this is fiction so hey ho. It’s such a wonderful foil. Because the situation here was not that Alex took his pain elsewhere to protect Izzie’s opinion, but that Alex completely and for a long time shut Izzie out to protect his manliness, which is entirely counterproductive but the only option he could see. He minimizes his experience as a “bad night.” (I mean, if you remove all the adjectives, he’s not wrong.) He’s protecting his own sense of manliness to himself. He doesn’t like feeling that vulnerable. He let Izzie get too close. He’s afraid. It’s all a tangle. And it pays off when they come back together and he’s willing to be more vulnerable, almost, and then enthusiastically, happy to be.

*But it does reference when he slept with Olivia when he failed his boards. So yeah, he’s done it literally too.

Backing up a step to revisit season 5. And actually they start out close. They’re all out in the cold waiting to greet patients and Alex grabs a blanket for her. He’s not irritated that Izzie keeps asking how he’s doing, just obviously in a bit of personal denial. And they’re totally messing around and lighthearted and look at each other with their heads really close and it begs some questions about the interim, though I guess they just haven’t talked about it deeper than “are you okay.” And per the Izzie/Meredith convo I guess they didn’t continue having sex (probably didn’t have sex that night either). Though the way Izzie looks at him as he leaves, she’s totally concerned that he’s not dealing with it.

Ah yes, forgot - so they just kept his breakdown unremarked upon, the superficial checking in is situational because Rebecca is a fact. They don’t talk about it, it’s fine. Pretending it did not happen. But it’s as soon as Alex thinks Izzie told Meredith about it that it goes pear shaped. It’s funny that his issue is the crying and he’s the one that told Meredith, but thematically Izzie saying “he’s opening up to me” is sorta the same. Also awww that even as she labels them friends, there’s this little glow inside her that they got closer. Emotional intimacy, what’s life without it eh?

So also 100% it’s high on Alex’s mind. That he did it, and so too that Izzie could betray him and tell others. Their relationship is so beautifully fragile in that short interim. It’s this little bubble where he’s okay that he was vulnerable with Izzie because she accepted it and isn’t making a big deal about it. And he does feel super close to her. But he can’t take anyone else seeing him in a non-manly light. For himself, and it works in terms of Izzie too if it’s an inside/outside situation. I’m a bit stuck and going in circles. If Izzie tells, then Izzie isn’t taking it seriously? Doesn’t understand him? I don’t think he’s even angry at her, if he looks weak to others then she’ll come to see him as weak? Halp, stuck.

Also so, I’ve seen it remarked upon that Izzie tends to forgive Alex when she maybe shouldn’t. But part of forgiveness can come from understanding the other person. Doesn’t have to be, especially for little stuff. But for big stuff?

Oh, and so weird but kinda cool that right after that rather self-aware conversation with Peters, he specifically lets Izzy see him with another woman. Were those scenes meant to be inverted? Or is he going into this eyes wide open? Trying to prove something? He’s hurting her though, is it intentional? Because cheating, by nature, is secretive, your person doesn’t know so you’re not hurting them directly, though of course when they find out it blows up. But the intention to wound is not there, it’s an escape. Proving that he’s really fine and back to his old self? They are not sleeping together so this isn’t cheating.

And even after that Izzy just shrugged it off. Popped in to tell him they maybe are getting kicked out, tries to get an apartment with him. She’s holding on to their closeness and friendship, despite him being prickly. And then... he smacks her or whatever they were doing which is back to flirty, and not meaningful but notably guides her out of the elevator before him. Though her barb about STD did hit him. Maybe he was trying to figure out how to stop being rude at her, and her continued friendliness was bufffer space until he could? He does say hello at the end, but who was she talking to about having no one?

It does bring up an interesting insight. It is true bout not something I thought about, that Izzie could be lonely, and actually does get as much out of their relationship as Alex ever did. They are incredibly close. And I think George might be married at this point, and thus no longer her “person”?

And then into the cryptic speak about them, while the father/son organ musical chair thing was happening. He’s looking over his shoulder at her, glances up, unspoken words yadda yadda. Follows her out into the hall when she leaves. The freeze out is shorter than I remember, but look, they kinda always keep communicating because freeze outs do not feel right. And I’ve moved to a blow by blow but Alex is trying to talk profession, and Izzie doublespeaks the “emotionally stunted” and he physically recoils and stutters like “yeah but no, that’s not what we’re talking about” and yet is now there and talking about them too. “Okay, ... I”m trying to be- I am, but this” WHAT is he trying to be/is??? Trying to not be emotionally stunted. Is emotionally stunted (or doubling down on trying?)

This is just such a beautiful conversation. Because Izzie IS emotional and caring but she has a mean backhand. Pettiness, ultimatum, she can smack back as hard as anyone smacks her. And she’s coming from a totally reasonable place, because he’s going hot and cold on her. And you can see that it affects him, and that falls out from that same pattern where he’s trying to tell her somehing and she’s not putting in a ton of effort to figure out what he’s saying, but is focused on her own needs and thoughts. ‘Cuz she’s hearing something like “give it up, you’re not going to get what you want out of me.” And he’s trying to say “I’m afraid I can’t be what you need, because I svck, please don’t make me try and fail.”

And they’re convo through parallels continues, Izzie calls Alex broken and is like “okay I do it your way my caring for you is pointless and it’s all fine.” Dad calls for son while kinda dying. I know they claimed different thought process but didn’t Alex call for Izzie when he was shot? And the payout from the series of exchanges: Alex is yelling at his standin to just step up and show he cares. With a hefty does of potential regret. It’s a 180, hoping that the kid does love his day, as well as getting emotionally invested. His relationship with his father isn’t mentioned, not sure if it’s meant to play into this, because he has previously acknowledged that he regrets losing his father completely.

(But then 10 seconds later she’s going to go crazy and by avoiding treatment it’s kinda like trying to kill herself and just... poor taste writers, poor taste.)

Cue a moment where Izzie knows what he’s trying to say and rewards it.

Enter Izzie being a little obtuse, I know I covered this but ending my personal cannon with them getting together - Alex literally says “are we going steady.” He’s literally saying “you tell me yes or no, and I will do that.” Of course he’s trying to say “I don’t know if you’re serious and I want to be please clarify and reassure” but one of those literal ones should have been enough. But then Izzie does always push him, not always intentionally, to be a little more direct, a little more vulnerable, trust her a little more. And the result is sooooo adorable!

And brings to mind when Izzie was trying to ask him out for the first time. And it went a tiny bit screwy and Alex flips it and asks her out.

There’s just so much awesome. *sobs* And there’s probably awesome in the cancer storyline too but I do not feel I can trust it and also it’s going to run full into Izzie being lame and leaving and all character development out the window? And I DO NOT want to see her trying to come back and Alex saying No. Because what will I see in the middle that gets them there? They always say yes. Eventually. And season 16 when JC is leaving the show is a bit on the long side, even if I ignore the details of the intervening years.

Throwing everything at the wall and maybe I’ll be done with dumping or can at least refine things. It’s the little speech I’ve only read and don’t want to hear bcause not sure how he did his line-read, but when he describes how he imagines Izzie’s life. In how much detail, how much he wants for her, what he knows she’s capable of building. He’s saying it to Jo and I’m uncomfortable with the idea he loves her, even if the letter to her does leak a “love you, in love with Izzie,” and I’m fine with Izzie loving Denny and don’t find it a problem Jo is still alive because I don’t see Alex going back but the thing where if he looks her in the eye he won’t return to Izzie and the kids is upsetting. And it’s just the kids and insta-family which is enticing. I mean, he’s not going to tell wife he’s leaving that he’s always loved his ex in a different way or anything. But he’s also not lying. He does mention to Meredith that he can’t go back to Seattle. He’d stay with Jo then out of... ? Halp. The best I got is he’s currently in a dream and if he goes back to his life, where he was happy, then he’ll lose the dream and it will disappear on him?

Slightly nicer is the elsewhere expressed (Meredith) idea that he’d set Izzie as unreachable. Thus, in line with what he told Jo, he didn’t want to contact her because he didn’t want to make it worse for himself, and his happiness comparison was completely excluding himself from the possibility of being part of Izzie’s life. It’s all happiness of them individually, not together. But yes, he always wanted to reach out, wanted to hear her voice and he never had an excuse? No excuse but curiousity, and that wasn’t enough to take a chance, but this was an excuse and he took it.

And the idea that he knows the right thing is to stay in Seattle, and being with Izzie and the kids is crazy, but it’s what makes him happiest, where he belongs. Meredith’s letter read first, so in that light, he’s overexplaining to Jo. Also exposition. References that conversation about his mental picture of Izzie, which I think was in the context of Jo questioning his feelings for Izzie. It scared him because... ? He focuses on the kids. It’s a little at odds with doing this for him, and a little suddenly ignoring the fact that he’s In Love with Izzie and I guess his mental image for Izzie was also his dream life and he gave it to her. Though where he thought her kids came from is possibly an oversight. Adoption?

Because it makes it sound like he’s torn between new and old love but the old love has is kids and wins. It’s a free pass to perfection. But he imagined a “whole life” for her, which is a massive investment opf time and emotional energy on someone he hasn’t seen in forever. I mean thinking well for an ex is al well and good but this sounds a bit beyond that, where she’s not a part of his life but a part of HIS life, believing she’s okay makes everything okay.

I am also willing to take up arms and claim that “I can’t look you in the eye because I wouldt be able to walk away...” doesn’t mean walk away from Jo, but walk away from Izzie. But that’s kinda tenuous. It just... it sounds like if he sees Jo he won’t be able to leave her, which puts her above Izzie (and even the kids, though he can still be in their lives) and that contradicts other statements, or at least their implications .

Though fair point that there’s a metric of who you’ll give up everything for. Izzie would for Denny. In a sense, I hear Meredith got her back in the Seattle hospital and she declined out of respect for Alex’s feelings. So in a way she gave up her life for Alex. And never reached out to him but did respond when he did. She picked up the phone. Maybe not knowing who it was, or they all kept their own phones. And Alex gave it all up for Izzie+kids. I want to know he’d give it all up for Izzie alone, and the life they could have had.

Or is it that he wouldn’t be able to leave Jo because, as noted to Meredith, it’s the right thing to stay in Seattle. And he’s become a man who does the right thing. And sometimes the right thing isn’t what we truly want, and to get that we have to be selfish. He one perfect thing is in Kansas. And it’s the family. It’s a family with Izzie. And his kids. It’s the whole package. If it wasn’t Izzie, the kids wouldn’t be enough? Also indicates that even with Jo was not exactly where he should be.

I’m also going with “some clues in various directions to satisfy various viewers but really offending most of them because this is all 10 years ago and people are newer viewers or forgot or hated Izzie when she left etc.” But preponderance of evidence leans in favour of this choosing what makes him happiest over what makes him happy.

ETA: he has a life for Izzie in his head because if she’s not happy, he can’t leave her where she is. He sees her as an optimist, the opposite of him and good things happen when you lean in that direction. He imagines her somewhere woody because that’s where they lived when they were married.

ETA2: Izzie didn’t notice Alex wanted to be exclusive. Because Izzie sees the good in him, but she doesn’t try to justify or explain things. She takes him at face value (mostly, she knows superficial crabbiness is just an unpleasant personality trait.) Until/unless she has very good evidence to he contrary. And THAT is why he has to take an active role and go to her. He does have to work for the relationship.

(Briefly skipped to a scene in season 6 (avoiding that season) and he actually says “I can’t be your nurse” which is so much character growth. Because I was afraid he’d gone full out into caregiver mode, which is not healthy for either of them. He’s protecting himself, but also pushing her to face up.)

CODAS

Watched Alex calling for/hallucinating Izzie when shot. Maybe it’s a Miranda thing? After freaking out right after she died, about how he can’t live without her, his breakup speech was essentially about how he realized he could survive without her. He doesn’t need her like that. And he was really hurt by the really shitty thing she did, leaving him. Thus valid conclusion that they should part ways and he’s not caught in the love/hate. But at some point after that, per hallucination conversation, he really wants her to... come back for him. To love him enough to not be able to stay away and come back for him it’s funny because the best way for her to love him was the respect his wishes and not come back. I mean she doesn’t even say anything after he asks that.

Interesting point “we married...” It’s a promise. He starts with “I’m sorry.” His breakup speech to her - rehearsed? He’s speaking from love and hate all blended and I think he’s a lot more honest and self aware, and he’s almost always been honest with Izzie. So his dying speech was also fear based? He’s scared, he’s in shock, like, physical shock. To when is his mind taking him? It’s natural to have regrets after a painful but necessary breakup. It’s been months but that’s still recent enough. So on the whole, inconclusive except yeah, he isn’t over her, but he admits during their breakup that he loves her “so much.”

Also love his “frozen together in time... and now we’re not.” They’ve both grown and changed, and so has their relationship, but there connection hasn’t. That hasn’t changed.

So back to his Izzie speech, which is meaningful intentionally as in 300th episode, where years later he was wondering still about her, enough to create a good life for her. A happy, rich and full life. He imagines it clearly and deeply enough to add smell to it. Smell is heavily linked to memory and emotion.

As happy as he is with Jo. Maybe it’s contentment? Something missing for each of them but not something he consciously knows? Meh. Back to frozen. He has an image, a full rich image of her and her life. It’s immersive but static, a snapshot. And the him who looks at that snapshot is the same him over time.

Letter to Meredith. “It’s about me.” Which is sorta back to breakup speech. It was about him, ending the relationship. He didn’t deserve to be left. And this is about him, not leaving Izzie+kids. There’s movement and beauty in this.

Meredith/Alex talking true love. So I’m torn. Jo refused his proposal, and the question is if you only get one true love. Did he think Jo was a true love, and if she refuses him it’s not? Or is he hoping that true love happens after they’re married? Given the constancy of his love for Izzie, from fairly early on, even if he didn’t call it that at the time I’m pretty sure it’s indisputedly much earlier than marriage, and she turned him down all the time, which would forestall true love worse, right? Can’t say as I’m not watching any Jo/Alex, cannot will not no need don’t gotta.

#alex x izzie #grey's anatomy #brain dump #meta #why couldn't i just leave well enough alone #and mess around with a vignette for funsies and a writing exercise #and not actually look at canon #because now i have feels #and am confused #and there are barriers to my feels #but it's okay i will live in my own little AU #and remember and know more than i did #given it was many many many years ago #i mean over 13 #right after season 4 started #izzex

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carelessgraces · 3 years

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𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

1. What does your muse smell like?

her hair smells like honey. she’s been using the same shampoo and conditioner for ages, and it’s all a honey scent. sometimes, she’ll add argan oil for the curls, but she rarely uses any other kind of product in her hair — no gel or spray, and she doesn’t dye her hair normally. her skin smells like plum, vanilla, and bergamot — it’s nothing overwhelming, she doesn’t wear body sprays or perfumes, but that’s the scent of her soap and her lotion. the smell is dark and a little sweet and a little sharp, and at first it seems like a berry scent, but that’s the plum. her deodorant is scented like bergamot, too, so it’s all compatible.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

her hands are soft, mostly. she used to have callouses on her fingers from playing violin when she was young, but those have healed. she has long fingers — nothing too notable, but she has nice hands overall. she’s got a very, very strong grip. she’s not accustomed to physical labor and it’s fairly obvious when you touch her hands; she does, however, have some little scars across her palms and fingers, the sort of teeny tiny wear-n-tear scars you get from doing experimental magic that occasionally leaves a mark.

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

she starts the day with fruit and something sweet — a pastry, a bread of some kind, something decadent — and a cup of coffee. for everything else it’s a largely mediterranean diet. lots of fish and white meat, red meat no more than once a week; lots of whole grains, a fair amount of pasta and rice; a lot of vegetables. when she’s in ireland after being gone for a long time, she’ll get fish and chips to sort of settle in and remind herself that she’s home. in terms of alcohol: she prefers her wines italian and her whiskeys irish. wine at least once a day with a meal; irish coffee on the weekends. she has a sweet tooth, and she indulges on days when she’s worked out more than usual, so it can balance out a bit.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

i mean, it’s fine. you won’t cringe listening to her sing along to the radio. she's a mezzo, and she sang in a few school choirs and had related voice lessons. she has a perfectly nice and largely unremarkable voice. if she gets training, she’d be lovely, and you can hear that she has the potential for it, but it’s never been something she’s been interested in, beyond putting on one-woman shows while driving a long distance with a broadway soundtrack on her spotify.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

when she’s very nervous or stressed she scratches at her palms. she typically only smokes when she’s drunk, but when she’s freaking out she chainsmokes and then she won’t touch a cigarette for months. ( this is only in her witch verse, or a verse where she can heal quickly — and in her lawyer verse, where she doesn’t care quite so much. ) she also has a habit of touching her own face that she doesn’t often notice.

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

she’s very well put together. for astoria, sartorial choices carry as much weight as anything else; her job is to manipulate perception, and your clothes are the first way to do that. she wears a lot of darker colors and neutrals, occasionally with a pop of color. sometimes heels, but most often boots with a lower and thicker heel. close-fitting clothes, often in layers. her clothes are well-made but not flashy, unless she wants to draw attention, and when she does want to draw attention she does it with contrasts: dark fabrics against her skin with a fair amount of skin showing, dark lace on a very light fabric, something form-fitting. if she goes for bright colors, then she likes contrasting colors that catch the eye. if she’s at home with a partner, then it’s usually just a tank top and jeans, or a hoodie and shorts. her hair is usually down, most often curly or wavy. if she wears makeup, she prefers a subtle eyeliner and a bold red lip.

7. Is your muse affectionate? How much? How so?

with her pets — unquestionably. astoria would be happy to spend the entire day cuddled up with the cats, giving them kisses and telling them they’re perfect. beyond that — she’s fairly physical in her affection. she’s a very tactile person. she’ll hold hands with her friends, she loves being tucked up against a lover’s side or putting her hand in their pocket while they walk, she hugs her family often. with a lover, she’s very often touching them somehow; she’ll play with their hair, kiss them, adjust their clothes, little things. she likes holding hands because she’s a sap but it’s not often feasible, given that she needs her hands for work or for magic. she loves sitting with some part of her draped over a lover — her legs across their lap, her body leaned against theirs, whatever she can manage. she just likes being touched. with that said, when a stranger or someone who feels threatening puts their hands on her, she very often tries to put space between them.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

curled up and wrapped around the nearest living thing. when she sleeps with someone, she can put a wall of pillows between them and somehow, in her sleep, she’ll end up with her head on their shoulder or chest and her arm thrown across them. she likes being the little spoon because she’s short. if she sleeps alone, then the cats are with her, and she’s got one cat curled up against her stomach under the covers, and the other on the pillow next to her, and she’s petting both of them. if the cats can’t go where they usually do, because there’s a person there, then they tend to sleep on top of her, stretched out over her hip, or right behind her head on the pillow.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

eh. depends. if she’s trying to avoid detection, absolutely not. if she doesn’t mind, then yeah, probably; she’ll hum to herself, she’ll talk to the cats, her shoes often click on the floor. it all depends on whether or not she wants her presence known.

Tagged by: @starweald & @urobouris, angels whom i love

Tagging: @shieldrevive / @mercyburned ( for sahar & margo ) / @kcrclrezni / @shesacred / @murdcck

#i. she had a marvelous time ruining everything. ( about )#( queue )

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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What is something Sokka only ever did and does with and for Azula? I'm not talking about his love but an act. The hairdoing question was because I like the first time he does Azulas hair lots It is a particular thing and the imagination him only doing Azulas hair is individual. I did not ask because of jealousy rather of particularity. I can't find anything he only did does for with Azula

... Right. So, in about 200 chapters worth of story, you haven’t seen anything Sokka has exclusively done for Azula? I... do advise you read more closely. But if you don’t want to...

Represents her as her personal fighter, at first because of their deal, after their relationship blooms he does it because he’s 100% devoted to her in every way that counts. To him, their bond is one of a kind and he does his best to grow stronger so he can continue to fight with and for her, so she may be granted all the respect she deserves. He outright rejects being sponsored by anyone but her, and even when they had no choice but to have Zuko sponsoring him (chapter 56), Sokka said it wasn’t the same because he wanted HER. So her role as her sponsor is one of a kind for him, and he absolutely would never have that kind of bond with anyone else.

Protects her with his body whenever they’re falling off places, something Azula has remarked on more than once. He takes the worst of the impact every time, shielding her however he can. To this day, I’m pretty sure he hasn’t done that with anyone else? (chapter 38, chapter 77).

He opened up to her when he was troubled (chapter 50), sharing some of his innermost turmoil and suffering, letting her help him when he usually would rather not burden anyone else with what plagues him. Further proof of how deeply he trusts her, enough to start putting aside his bad habit of bottling up his troubles for her.

Refused an opportunity to go home AND reconnect with the first person he truly felt comfortable with in the FIre Nation (Piandao), choosing to stay by Azula’s side instead and protect her from people who would most likely harm her (chapter 54).

Nearly killed two gladiators whose sponsors were attempting to marry Azula against her will (chapter 70, chapter 169).

Put aside every shred of his dignity and accepted all punishments Azula forced on him, enduring everything because he thought he deserved it for wronging her (the ENTIRE Rough Rhinos arc).

Gave her the better portions of food during their accidental trip through the forest (again, Rough Rhinos arc) AND saves food for her (chapter 124), meaning, prioritizing her needs over his own. We all KNOW how much Sokka loves food, Azula more than anyone, and the implications of him not eating so she could have more were pretty clear regarding how much she means to him, as far as I can tell.

Cooked for her, sometimes to catastrophic results, but he still tried :’D (chapter 131, chapter 151 to a fault).

Writes haiku for her, and it’s SPECIFICALLY STATED that he only manages to complete proper poems whenever he’s writing about her, as everything else he writes he leaves incomplete or adds too many syllables (chapter 38, chapter 104).

Controls his strongest impulses very often when it comes to physical affection throughout Part 1 (namely in Ember Island and Giving In arcs), always privileging her needs above his own. He’s willing to stop before outright penetrative sex in chapter 97, for Azula’s benefit, and only goes for it when she directly asks him to. Her comfort and happiness are the priority, not his own.

Embarrasses himself willingly just to make her laugh (I’m sure there are many possible examples of this, but right now I can’t find them, but I found one instance of it in chapter 130, at least).

Challenged a nobleman (Kuan) for behaving disrespectfully towards Azula, by dismissing her interests and choices, yet Sokka restrained himself when Azula demanded it of him (chapter 36) and accepted the punishment Kuan forced on him without further protest or causing any more trouble for Azula.

Looked after her when she was sick, no matter if she was really mad at him at the time (White Lotus Attack arc).

Cheered her up after the first ball in the Festivals, after listening to her personal plight with Admiral Zhao (chapter 94)

Offered to teach basic swordsmanship to a kid so that the kid’s father would be on good terms with Azula, helping her craft stronger political allies (chapter 133).

Defends Azula constantly before anyone who may try to undermine or insult her (outright punched Zuko for saying thoughtless things about his sister in chapter 64, lashed out at Iroh for talking shit about her in chapter 95, attacked Rhone as soon as he spoke against Azula in 114 and threatened him in 160).

Comforts her often whenever she’s troubled, especially in matters pertaining her parents and the unpleasant strife they’ve caused her, both in the past and in current times (Ember Island arc, The Fire Nation Festivals arc, The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc). He’s also not judgmental, doesn’t tell her what to think, he mainly listens and helps her deal with her conflicted feelings.

Gladly agrees to change their original deal so he can stay with Azula for good instead of returning to his family, as he intended (chapter 107, Whaletail Island arc).

CRAFTED A BETROTHAL NECKLACE FOR HER??? :’) (chapter 131)

MARRIED HER. TWICE (Return to Shu Jing arc). I mean... really. The very logic of marriage says it’s something absolutely special you don’t do with just ANYONE? And they certainly live by that logic, completely. That something so obviously unique to his relationship with her happened so recently and yet you still sent this ask is... weird to me. Very weird.

In a slightly more intimate note: Sokka has never slept through the night with anyone but Azula. He has never woken up with someone beside him other than Azula. She’s literally the only one he’s ever done that with, and the only one he ever wants to do it with. Started in chapter 64, has happened many, many times since.

Endeavors to become a better painter because she inspired him to keep trying. They’ll start making collaborative art together starting in chapter 201 :’) and in 221 they will make a veeeery special artwork that’s basically their masterpiece.

Climbed a volcano to find a flower to give to her as a token of everlasting love? (chapter 125) :’D

Nearly died at the hands of Jeong Jeong’s schemes all be it to stay loyal to Azula (also chapter 125).

Got her a Fire Lily in the Festivals, something no one else had ever done for her, cultural connotations of it demand I single this out because it’s a big deal in the Fire Nation, he’s never done that for anyone else and never will (chapter 146).

Constantly asks for her lychee wine, her favorite drink, whenever they go places. The fact that Azula’s heart seems to grow twenty sizes every time he goes out of his way to find her perfect drink should be pretty telling...?

Overworked himself to make her dragon’s perfect armor as a birthday gift for her (Azula’s birthday arc), then still managed to win a fight for her sake despite his body was in bad shape.

Told her being without her feels like sleepwalking through life, waiting until she’s around again so he can wake up and feel like himself once more (chapter 86).

Offered his services and support in helping in the fulfillment Azula’s dream of offering women in the Fire Nation bigger opportunities and roles to make a difference in the world, by training the Enforcers in swordsmanship (Whaletail Island arc).

Accompanied Azula throughout her investigation in The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc, offering her all the support he could in that endeavor, day and night if need be, no matter how dangerous things got he was always there with her.

Trusted Azula so much he allowed her to BEND THROUGH HIM :’) I can guarantee that there’s no way anyone else can do that with Sokka other than Azula.

Sneaks out of his house, or his cabin, to spend nights with her whenever they can afford to, seen all throughout Part 2.

Changed his entire worldview to understand hers, just as she changed hers to understand his. Developed genuine empathy with someone who should have been his enemy, and saw through her to understand her humanity, something NO ONE BUT HIM had done before, and something he’s certainly not willing to do for many people he started out hating, or that he hated at any point in time (literally seen all through the story).

So... 33 items not enough yet, I wonder? Then stick around. The last arcs of Part 2 pack more than a few punches and many unique Sokkla interactions and situations that MIGHT just serve for you to finally see that their bond is actually one of a kind? Despite I’m pretty sure the story that already has been published proves it completely already... but I guess you may have gone too long witthout reading it in full detail? Eh, whatever the reason may be, you can see for yourself there’s a ton of unique things Sokka and Azula have only done with each other.

#anon #long post #sorry #gladiator #just #*tosses this into the void*#and I'm dead sure #I forgot a ton of things #just by nature their bond is one of a kind #so excuse me if I'm too harsh #but #I can't see how this question is necessary at all

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cottoncandy-jester · 3 years

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Lie down darling it's time for a dream

Bakusquad with a bara crybaby S/O

You may ask yourself"proxy what's this?!"

To answer youe question I have no idea I just want to indulge okay?!

Plus come on, a big buff reader being a bottom for their shorter lover is just amazing how could I not?!

Katsuki bakugo

Honestly he was the reason you cried the first time you guys met

He finds you to be both annoying and adorable

The way you hide behind him though despite you being taller makes his ego puff up

He is very soft around you and tries not to make you cry but sometimes he cant help himself

If he's the one who made you cry he was just aggressively kiss you while mentally screaming at himself for being so dumb

Anyone who makes you cry is dying

Even if you flinch cause of someone they are dying

Your soft behavior calms him down though if he's amped up though

Your tallness does irritate him though like who TF said you could be tall!

Is constantly yanking you down to kiss you

If anyone teases him about being the shorter one he goes boom

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST CAUSE IM SHORTER DOESNT MEAN SHIT"

Let's everyone know that he's top dog between you two by biting your neck everytime you make out so others could see it

Speaking of make outs..when you cry during making out it makes him FERAL!

"look at the little baby, you're crying cause it feels so good eh? You want more kisses? Heh. Whatever"

You sniffle softly as bakugo run his fingers through your hair while straddling your waist. Today was a hard day during class and thw stress made you break down, you had to fight against bakugo and of course you going easy on him pissed him off so he snapped at you.

The two of you now sat in the dorm lounge while bakugo tried to stop your blubbering by kissing your tears away. A feeling of guilt weighted his chest down as he petted your hair and let you nuzzle your face in his chest if you wanted.

"come on [y/n] I said I was sorry, I didn't fucking mean it..so stop. I love you"

His soft whispers in your ear made you start to settle down and he smiled at the soft kisses he felt against his chest and neck. He simply sighs softly before picking his head up only to see deku and mina staring at the two of you with a crazy look. Bakugo growled loudly but looked at you before holding his anger since he didn't want you to cry again.. he'll kill them later for now you were the most important thing on his mind.

Eijirou Kirishima

This boy is crazy about you!

Like you are perfect in his eyes and he is constantly praising you til you are super red

He liked your height cause it's fun to hug you from behind or compare hand sizes

He gets pouty when he tries to kiss you but you are too tall like lean down so he can kiss your perfect face

He finds your fragile behavior super cute like you're shyness makes him smile

He will punch anyone who makes you cry like he almost got into a fight with bakugo when he made you cry

He gets annoyed if anyone calls you scary looking or asks if you're some delinquent cause you're tall

"please don't talk about him that way! He's really sweet and that is gonna hurt his feelings!"

Honestly cuddles for days

Your chest make him drool

If your hero costume has any part of your chest or even shirtless he is gonna stare

Work out dates together are to be expected

Seeing you get fit makes his knees weak

"i-i can't do sit up when y-you kiss me like that"

Your shaky voice made the redhead hold back a laugh as he sat infront of you holding your feet. He kissed you everytime you came up and after ten of those you were flustered and too shy to go on. Kirishima found your behavior so adorable that he just couldn't help but wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek

"can't help it! My manly man is just so cute!"

You whined softly at his praise before you found yourself shyly nuzzling your face in the male's neck

"kiriii~ you're embarrassing me"

"oh? Can you not handle my compliments? What if I call you manly and handsome? What about cute oh and sweet! Not to mention you are just perfect..so perfect"

The praise was too much for you and you started to feel dizzy. You fell limp in the male's arms which made him panic so he pulled your face back from his neck to look at you only to see you were all red and freaking out

"k-kiri..called..me.. perfect-"

Your muttering made Kirishima laugh nervously before he kissed your head softly.

"okay tall guy let's cool you off before you explode"

Denki kaminari

If you thought Kirishima was bad with the praise denki is worse!

All his pervy energy is poured onto you and you can't handle it

Like constant praise and affection

Also..chest...man boobies is his weakness

His face is in-between your chest 90% of the time when you're together

Not only that but constant groping your chest

"[y/n]..your chest is like a girl but better! Sooo soft!"

As far as your crying he is the one to make you laugh when you're stressed or panicked

Will get hella pissed if someone were to make you cry

If he catches you crying best believe is will smother you with kisses and love to the point where you are flustered and laughing

As far as your height he is totally jumping on your back or asking if you can pick him up every once in a while

Will brag about you to everyone..like everyone

"[y/n] is so cool! They are so strong! plus their muscles are so sexy!"

Will say pervy this about tour chest to other people as well..like he has no shame!

"heh. During training his hero outfit ripped and i saw his yummy boobs!"

"y'know [y/n] is a dude rig-"

"gahhh! I'm so lucky! His cup size is like triple some of the girl sizes!"

You let out a shaky sigh as you heard a muffled groan from the male sitting in your lap with his face buried in your chest, well at least he was alive.

You were on your bed playing animal crossing while denki had his head buried in your shirtless chest. He requested you to be shirtless and you agreed since he's seen your shirtless before but this was getting kinda worrying

"h-hey denki, are you okay? You've been pressed against my chest like this for an hour..can you breathe?"

When you got no response you panicked before pulling denki back slightly only to see his face which was filled with bliss and joy, his eyes sparkled and his face flustered with the lack of air while blood dripped down his nose

"you're bleeding!"

You felt tears brim in your eyes as you tried to move to get a towel but denki simply latched onto you and nuzzled his face into your chest.

"I'm fine! I just- really like your warm chest"

You shivered lightly when denki gazed up at you with a sly grin

"you are too cute I can't help but cling to you like this y'know? My cute guy with such a cute body"

Before you could speak you winced at the feeling of a bite on your nipple

"d-denki!!"

"heh oops-"

Sero hanta

TEACH HIM YOUR WAYS

he wants to know how you got so big and buff like huh?!

Honestly when you two first met he was scared of you

Now he just loves you lots and lots!

He isn't about huge PDA like denki and Kirishima but he will hold your hand and even kiss it from time to time

Best believe he will tape someone's mouth shut if they make you cry

He finds your fragile behavior really cute and you have gained the nickname bunny cause of it

He loves touching your muscles and just cuddling with you

If he's the reason you ever cry expect him to do everything in his power to cheer you up

Sero looked at your weeping form curling up in the bed, you two got into a simple argument that left you in tears. He can't even remember what you two were fighting over but it was all stupid now, the male gulped thickly as he reached out and touched your hair before crawling up next to you so he could see your crying face.

"hey..bunny, look at me babe"

With a slight hesitance you faced him and felt him a kiss your tears away while holding tour hand tightly in his

"whose the best boyfriend in the world?"

You didn't speak but only whined lowly as soft sniffles escaped you but you were starting to smile so that was good. Sero simply kissed along your cheek and your lips very softly

"come on, who is it?"

"m-me.."

"yeah it's you, I'm sorry"

His voice sounded shaky as you two locked eyes before you hug sero close and mumbled out a soft I love you which he returned before you two cuddle close enjoying the other's warmth.

Mina ashido

Soft boy lover #1

Like she is so in love with how soft you are it's ridiculous

She adores hugging you and clinging onto you even if it makes you super flustered

She likes showing you off and bragging about you whenever she can

"[y/n] is so cute when he gets all flustered! He is just the cutest thing ever!"

Please let her give you many kisses

Will go protective mode if she sees you crying

"who did it! I'll fight them! No one makes my cutie cry!"

She wants to train with you as much as she can cause you are strong and she wants to get stronger

Loves to sit in your lap all the time

You have a bad habit of looming over her when you want something and it scares everyone

They don't know if you wanna kiss her of kill her

You found yourself standing over the girl while she was innocently chatting with jirou, you were as quiet as a mouse so she didn't notice you but it was clear you wanted something. You really wanted attention but wasn't sure how to get Mina's attention

Would it be rude if you were to hug her from behind? What about if you tao her shoulder to gain her attention? You stood there thinking but to anyone else you looked absolutely bloodthirsty.

"uh- hey mina, I think your boyfriend doesn't like me talking to you..so creepy"

You snapped out if it and winced at the insult, creepy?

You let out a hush sniffle as mins turned to face you only to wrap her arms around you and hug you tightly, she noticed your tears and shot jirou a quick glare if annoyance.

"a-am I creepy, mina?"

"oh, sweetie no! Of course not! You're my teddy bear, lean down"

You did as she said and leaned down before feeling her grab your face and cover it with kisses upon kisses. You felt your face flush as you whined lowly

"minaaa p-people are staring!"

"let them stare! They can all see how much i love you!"

You hugged the girl close as she kissed your face and you shyly returned the attention though you felt like dying from how flustered it made you.

#kirishima eijirou #bakugo katsuki #denki kaminari #sero hanta #mina ashido #bnha imagines

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hetaliareaderfanfic · 4 years

Note

Can I request a 2p Canada x reader, where the reader runs inside saying something was trying to attack them and Matthieu checks it out but it’s just a happy puppy wanting the pets? If not that’s fine, thank you so much I love your writing!

Close the Door

2P!Canada x Reader

_____

Rustles by the wild bushes alert you. You are still not used to the woody neighborhood where your boyfriend lives. Your habit of listening to creepypastas and murder documentaries does not help your creative mind that is instantly activated by the slightest of sound. Perhaps visiting your boyfriend by surprise is not a good idea after all.

There goes the rustling sound again. Is it a snake? A shapeshifter? A human? You cannot see what is giving you goosebumps. Carefully, you continue walking. You are just a few meters away from your boyfriend's cabin. Just a few more attentive steps and you will feel safe again. Step, rustle, step, rustle, rustle, jump, and sprint. Without seeing what you suddenly feel is running after you, you run for your life. "Matthieu, help! Open the door!" You scream, scaring away some resting birds on some nearby trees.

A spark of relief hits you as the door opens and reveals your confused, but ready to rescue boyfriend. You almost dive inside and instruct Matthieu to close the door. But instead of closing it, he walks outside.

"Matthieu!" You scream with great worry.

He bends down, picks something up, and faces you. "You're scared of this, eh?" He pets the white fluffy puppy with fondness. He has always loved animals, and animals seem to be easily fond of him as well. The pup happily wags its tail for the affection.

You stare at its quiet smile at you, waiting to be pet more by the one it was chasing earlier. You almost cry of embarrassment and great relief as you walk outside to Matthieu and take the puppy in your arms. "I'm sorry, baby doggy! I didn't know it's a very cute puppy running after me!" You embrace and pet it with apology and adoration without any more thoughts of shapeshifters.

"Hana! Hana! Where are you?" A shout echoes around you.

The puppy moves as if telling you to put it down, so you do. It then excitedly runs to the source of the calling voice. Not far, you see a silhouette of a man that seems to happily reunite with the puppy. You feel Matthieu suddenly becomes alert, though strangely, you do not feel any fear.

The silhouette seems to observe you and Matthieu from afar at first before deciding to walk towards the cabin. "Hello! You're the first neighbors I see. I just moved here. I live some hundreds of trees away. Nice to meet you!" A blonde man with a kind smile greets the two of you without saying his name.

Matthieu barely nods as an acknowledgement.

"Hello! Your pup is very cute!" You greet Matthieu's neighbor, not mentioning your earlier thoughts of it.

"Thanks! Her name is Hanatamago!" He replies. "We've been looking for her for more than an hour now. My husband and I have been so worried. Bye for now! But you may visit us whenever you want!"

"Take care! I hope you enjoy it here!" You bid the man and his puppy goodbye, while Matthieu only stares at them. Most people are easily intimidated by your boyfriend's glare, but his neighbor does not really seem to mind it.

As the two of you are left alone at the front door, Matthieu speaks. "I want a dog. Let's get one."

You look at him and smile. "Sure."

"You're not lost this time, eh?" Matthieu smirks at you.

"I just learned adrenaline rush can take me to my destination." You smile at him and notice from the side a bear approaching you. "Hello, Kuma. You're gonna have a sibling. How does that sound?" You embrace the friendly bear who always visits you and Matthieu.

"Sounds good, right? Right." Matthieu replies in behalf of the bear before he talks to it. "Or will it make Y/N forget about me, eh? Imagine she's here to surprise me, yet shows love only for a dog and a bear."

You raise an eyebrow as you chuckle. "Oh, you. Come here, you, mapleman, and let me love you."

#Hetalia #2P!Canada #Matthieu Williams #Hetalia Fanfiction #Hetalia x Reader #hetaliareaderfanfic #zanier fanfic #Hello! Thank you so much!!#I hope this is all right

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chelsfic · 4 years

Text

Unseemly Desire - Chapter 3 - Guillermo x Nandor

To read past chapters: WWDITS Masterlist

Summary: Nandor and Guillermo deal with the fallout of their makeout session and the almost-attempted mind wipe. Guillermo discovers the untapped well of anger living inside him!

Warnings: Angst, Blood drinking, gratuitous use of the word Fuck, Angry kissing

A/N: Look how frickin handsome Nandor is in this gif. No wonder Guillermo can’t resist this idiot. Also, I wrote this really fast and barely edited it sooooo ehhhhhh sorrayyy.

---

Shit! Fuck! Damn! Fiasco!

Nandor retires straight to his coffin after storming out of his familiar’s room. He’s still fully dressed and the little hair pins in his bun stab the back of his head as he lies down.

Fucking guy!

Who gave him permission to have those kinds of feelings, anyway? Nandor’s almost certain he included something about not falling in love in Guillermo’s employment contract. He’ll have to check on that tomorrow evening. He growls in angry frustration as he realizes the contract is locked in one Colin Robinson’s basement filing cabinets. Maybe he doesn’t need to worry about checking. He’s positive that he mentioned it to Guillermo before he became his familiar. No falling in love with me. End of discussion!

How dare that little guy ruin his perfect plan? What does he think, just because he has smooth, tan skin, a disarming smile and perfect wavy hair he can just go around forcing Nandor to be horny for him all the time? It’s unacceptable!

Nandor turns onto his side in a huff. He has half a mind to go back there and mind wipe him after all. But the vision of Guillermo’s tear streaked face as he begged Nandor not to hypnotize him floats before his eyes in the darkness and he feels that stabby, annoying pain in his heart area again.

And now he’s having more confusing heart palpitations again. Great!

---

The movie is still playing on Guillermo’s discarded laptop. Claudia shrieks after learning that she can never grow or change as a vampire. It’s his favorite movie. He’s watched it hundreds of times. And Guillermo is only just now contemplating the real world evidence of that phenomenon. Nandor may have centuries of life experience but emotionally he is still the same repressed, spoiled, arrogant 13th century warlord he was when he was turned, just with a few new pop culture references under his belt. Can he really never learn or change? And if that’s true then what the fuck is Guillermo doing here?

He’s frozen in place where Nandor discarded him like so much refuse. His eyes are fixed on the curtain in fear or hope--he’s not certain--that Nandor might come blazing back into his little room, filling it up with his massive presence for better or worse. Salty tear tracks stain his cheeks and he’s still half wrapped up in the dumb snuggie. His face crumples and a silent sob escapes his throat. He’d been so stupidly happy there for a moment. Nandor--his dream boy, his vampire, his Nandor--kissed him and held him like Guillermo had always dreamed. But the memory tastes bitter in his mouth now as he remembers the cold, blank mask of his face after Guillermo mistakenly confessed his love.

He fists his hands into the soft material of Nandor’s snuggie, burying his face in the fabric as his tears start anew. He begged for this, didn’t he? How pathetic is it that he pleaded with Nandor to let him hold onto the memory of yet another rejection? He falls asleep like that, crying silently and clinging to the only physical evidence of his master’s fleeting, mercurial affection.

---

When he opens his coffin the next evening Nandor finds Guillermo waiting to attend him like always. The vampire hides his surprise and holds out his hand for assistance with all of his typical haughty self-importance. He spent all day plagued by nightmares of his familiar running away into the sunlight. Packing up his computing book, his cute little sweaters and his pizza rolls and fleeing from Nandor like he was some kind of...monster.

Ridiculous, of course.

Guillermo won’t leave him. He’d said so last night. He’d promised in exchange for his pathetic memories. But then Nandor notices the human’s hands are shaking as he adjusts his cravat and Guillermo won’t meet his eyes. There is also a strange new smell coming off of him that he usually only encounters around victims.

Fear.

“Guillermo…” Nandor wrinkles his nose “Have you been cleaning the cell? You should really shower afterwards. It’s not hygienic to be dressing me after being around all those human juices.”

His familiar finally looks up at him, eyes narrowed in confusion as he tries to parse his master’s thought process.

“No…” he finally answers and his voice is like a ghost, thin and ephemeral. “I haven’t been cleaning the cell master.”

He self-consciously leans down to sniff his own armpit and Nandor grimaces in disgust.

“Well, then why--” he stops himself, his deep brown eyes going round as he finally makes the connection. Guillermo is afraid of...him? It is like his nightmares are coming to life!

“Guillermo! Snap out of it now! This is very upsetting and...unprofessional. Why are you afraid?”

Guillermo flinches as if struck by Nandor’s words. He didn’t realize how transparent he was being. His first instinct is to deny it but a flare of anger takes hold of him and he’s speaking before his ingrained habit of suppressing his true feelings can kick in.

“Why am I afraid!? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you almost erased my memories last night? And you could do it any time you want and I’d be powerless to stop you?”

Nandor’s brows knit together and he scoffs, “But that’s always--”

He stops himself, guiltily averting his eyes, but it’s too late. Something changes in Guillermo’s face. The anger bleeds away and his skin goes pale. He almost looks like a vampire or… or one of his victims. The thought sends a shiver down Nandor’s spine.

“Master…” Guillermo’s voice is calm and cool but Nandor has a feeling that what comes next will determine something very important.

“Have you--” He swallows against the lump in his throat. “--Have you hypnotized me before?”

Nandor grimaces, baring his sharp fangs in an uncomfortable smile and looking like the vampiric embodiment of a dog shaming video.

---

There’s the time he dropped Guillermo while he was helping him dust around the spider houses…

...the time Guillermo saw Nandor fall down at the roller rink and the human children all laughed at him…

...when he shamed himself while Guillermo helped him adjust his orgy suit…

And countless other small, trivial moments that now seem to add up to quite a lot.

And, of course, there’s the other night when Nandor admitted that Guillermo is special to him.

---

“...Once or twice.”

Nandor watches his familiar’s face fall and his eyes start leaking. Guillermo angrily scrubs the tears away and shakes his head, throwing off the hurt as he’s learned to do all his life. From elementary school bullies to the love of his life, Guillermo has been rolling with the emotional punches for as long as he can remember. This is no different. So what if the last five years are a lie? So what if he can't trust his own memory? Guillermo is resilient. Guillermo is rubber. Guillermo kills ‘em with kindness and lives to fight another day. Or...

“Fuck you, Nandor,” he reaches up to finish tying the cravat, angrily cinching it around the vampire’s neck with a painful tug.

“Ouch! Watch it with that!” Nandor complains, batting Guillermo’s little hands away. Guillermo crosses his arms over his chest and glares back at him with fierce, thunderstorm eyes. Nandor’s never seen his familiar like this. So forceful…he shakes his head violently, banishing the stupid horny thoughts attempting to take over.

“Alright! So I hypnotized you a few times. So what? Kind of comes with the job there, Guillermo. Did you even read your contract?”

“You mean the one you scribbled on the back of a Panera menu?” Guillermo rolls his eyes. “How did it go? ‘I.O.U. one unholy transition. Signed, Nandor the Relentless’?”

Nandor scrunches his face up and he shifts his eyes as he tries to remember. There must have been more to it…

“I don’t think…” he falters, losing steam for a second before riling himself back up through sheer force of will. He is Nandor the RELENTLESS! “That’s neither here nor anywhere, Guillermo! The point is...eh...the point is you should have expected the occasional hypnotic trance when you took the job! It is common sense!”

“You’re right, master,” Guillermo says in the tone he uses when he doesn’t mean the thing that he is saying. “Silly me, expecting that you’d treat me any differently than one of your victims.”

Nandor feels like he’s rapidly losing the thread of this conversation. Or, more realistically, that the thread ran out from between his fingers long ago and he’s grasping at the empty air. Guillermo thinks he treats him like a victim? After all the troubles he went through to get the smelly red flowers and the music for his dirty biting fantasy? After he saved him from Nadja’s horrendous aim? After all of their chess games and strolls through the moonlit hunting grounds and the countless hours Nandor has spent listening for the soft thump of Guillermo’s human heart? This is what he thinks?

Nandor curls his lip and hurls his next words to Guillermo’s feet with disdain, “Didn’t you say you were jealous of my victims, Guillermo? Well, now you do not have to be. You are one. Perhaps I should finish the job.”

Guillermo barks out a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “Oh, please! You’re not going to kill me anymore than you’re going to turn me.”

Guillermo turns away, the job of dressing his master left unfinished and he starts to leave. Nandor looks at his familiar’s back and he sees him running away, abandoning him just like in his dream.

“No!” he roars, lifting off the ground several inches as he flies at Guillermo, tackling the human into the wall of his crypt and knocking a 700-year-old sword to the floor. He presses his hands into Guillermo’s shoulders, pinning him in place and marveling at the soft give of his flesh layered over strong muscles. “You are my familiar and I have not given you permission to leave!”

Guillermo’s eyes harden and he parts his lips to deliver what Nandor is certain will be a devastating blow. He’s going to leave him. He’s going to quit. All because Nandor wasn’t aloof enough! He can’t let him do this! If Nandor’s heart could beat he’s sure it would be bursting from his chest this very second. He squeezes Guillermo’s shoulders too hard, painfully grinding the bones beneath his palms as he lunges, burying his face into the pristine, smooth expanse of his familiar’s neck and biting down with all the force in his body. Guillermo screams and flails against him, but it’s pointless. Nandor is too strong and he’s hell bent on giving his human a bruise to match the one on the other side of his neck.

Guillermo’s blood was made for Nandor. It floods his mouth, coating his tongue like a thick, sweet nectar. He swallows it with a savage groan and presses harder against Guillermo, digging his growing erection into the softness of his belly.

Guillermo is lost in a confusing tangle of rage, sadness, fear and arousal. He can’t fucking believe that Nandor is doing this, basically proving that Guillermo is nothing more than another human victim. And it really, really shouldn’t turn him on this much. His words ring in Guillermo’s ears as the life pulses out of him. Perhaps I should finish the job. Guillermo doesn’t believe for a second that his master is planning to kill but just in case…

He fists his hands in the vampire’s shiny, soft hair--hair he’s lovingly brushed and arranged every night for the last five years--and he yanks it back with all of his might.

“Ouch! Fucking--” Nandor rears back, blood pouring down his chin and his eyes blown with hunger and lust. He captures Guillermo with those eyes and the familiar is drawn in like a moth to the flame. Why is he always chasing the thing that will hurt him?

Before he can second guess himself, and before Nandor can do something stupid like turn into a vapor, Guillermo grabs the vampire’s collar, tugs him down to his level and slams his mouth against his in a brutal, angry kiss. Fuck you for throwing an axe at my head. Fuck you for making me feel inadequate. Fuck you for kissing me and then trying to erase it from my memory. And really, truly, deeply, fuck you for making me love you anyway.

Guillermo’s hands paw at Nandor’s bearded jaw, holding in place as their lips slide together, tongues seeking and massaging. The salty copper taste of Guillermo’s own blood fills his mouth as Nandor plunders inside. The vampire moans, his hands straying down over Guillermo’s chest, his stomach, reaching around to settle over the round curve of his backside. Guillermo whimpers into Nandor’s lips as the vampire squeezes his fingers into his buttocks and simultaneously rolls his pelvis. There’s a sound in the distance trying to attract his attention. As if Guillermo would let go of this moment for anything in the world.

In the next instant, the door to the crypt flings open and Laszlo ducks inside, slamming it shut again just in time to keep out his shrieking, furious wife. Nandor breaks away from Guillermo, jumping back and holding his hands aloft with an obvious, guilty expression.

Laszlo takes one look at Nandor’s blood stained mouth and Guillermo’s utterly ravished appearance and snorts in amusement.

“I fucking knew it!”

#nandor x guillermo #guillermo x nandor #nandor x guillermo fanfic #guillermo x nandor fanfic #wwdits fanfic #wwdits #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless

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puggledy-huggledy-is-not-a-pig · 4 years

Text

If You Want To Get Warm You Must Stand Near The Fire (Parts 8 & 9)

Warnings: Angst (most of it mine :P)

Very Important Note: I have been staring at this for hours and days. I hate, hate, hate, writing sex scenes. I just feel so awkward doing it, and I hate it, because I want Hope and Guy to make beautiful love :( If anyone wants to write them for me, I will be grateful, give you credit, send you puppies, or whatever else you ask. For now, after spending hours reading other people’s erotica trying to breathe some life to my fossilised imagination, I’m just going ahead and posting this. I’m not tagging anyone this time, because frankly I’m too embarrassed and cross at myself that I can’t even do this in the privacy of my own mind. If you think it’s not completely cringe worthy, throw me a comment or a reblog. I promise I’ll try to get over myself and tag people next time. Ok you’ve all been encouraging nd lovely so I will stop being a giant infant and tag people for this too. Thanks, and sorry if I seemed to be high maintenance compliment-fishing!

After that day, Hope was amazed to see a side to Guy that she never expected. That night he showed up in her bedroom, smiling like the cat that got the cream; she moved to make space for him and he spent the night draped over her, much to the disgust of Falkor, who had been displaced to the foot of the bed. He did the same again the next night, and the next, and it quickly became a routine.

During the day they would potter along companionably, Guy slowly exploring and learning more about how everything worked. Hope had imagined that he would have a hard time with a lot of modern concepts and inventions, but to her surprise and relief, Guy was stoically accepting of most things. It seemed like, once he had fixed in his mind the fact that this was the year 2020, he just expected that a lot of things would not make sense. Guy, thought Hope, was the most practical man she’d ever met. He was far from unintelligent, but surrounded with all this newness, he didn’t bother with the how and why -he just methodically collected every new skill she showed him and moved on to the next one.

She also discovered that he had a really dry sense of humour, when he let himself show it. He had this habit of looking up for a reaction when he made a joke -Guy was a man who liked an audience, Hope was realising.

He never offered her any words of affection during the days, although in unspoken ways he was behaving very differently than he had before.

From being stiff and distant he became surprisingly tactile, always touching her back, running a hand down her arms, breathing in her ear... Then, every evening, they got in the same bed, had sex, and slept holding each other through the night.

It was a fragile equilibrium, and Hope was finding herself holding her breath. She was very aware that things couldn’t stay like this for too long. One way or another, Guy would have to move on soon.

Chapter 9

One evening, Hope was sitting up in bed with Guy’s head on her lap. She was ostensibly reading a book, but in reality kept peering over the top at his eyelashes casting a shadow on his pale cheeks, his long nose, his thin, clever lips. He was drowsy, looking relaxed, but his fingers kept dancing just under the hem of her shirt.

I’m getting too attached... she thought to herself.

He’s not some stray you can adopt, Poppet, Gran’s voice was in her head again, spelling out her thoughts like she had when she was alive. Hope sighed, and closed her book.

“Guy?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Sing me a song...”

“Mmm.” His fingers travelling higher, playing with her breast. “There are better ways to pass the time.”

“Come on, sing me a song!”

Amused, she flicked his nose, and he glared at her.

“I’m not a minstrel!”

“And I’m not Freddie Mercury, but you still got me to sing.”

“Ah, but that was for your own good.”

“So is this. I’m getting bored, I might leave in a minute,” she teased him.

“I don’t know any songs,” Guy groaned, then gave up when Hope pretended to be getting up.

“Paura pichona,

Perqué plorar?

Lo niu d'ironda

Va s'envolar.

Paura pichona,

Cal pas plorar,

Ambe l'aureta

Lo niu vendrà.

Paura pichona,

Consòla-te,

Lo niu d'ironda

Tornarà ben.”

“That’s lovely,” breathed Hope. “What is it?”

Guy blinked. “It’s a lullaby,” he said, “my mother used to sing it. I didn’t think I’d remember it.”

“What language is that?”

“Occitan. My mother was French.”

“Tell me about your life, before,” Hoped asked him, and Guy was torn. On the one hand, having someone want to get to know him better was a very nice feeling, and not one he was accustomed to. On the other hand he really didn’t feel like going back, even just in his mind. What good could possibly come from it? Everything he had worked for all these years was gone, and all that was left was the taint.

He compromised by shrugging and keeping it short. “Not much to tell. I worked for the Sheriff for years, ran things for him. I was...” (Feared? Loathed?) “...respected,” was what he settled on.

“Do you want to go back?” Hope hated how needy she sounded, but she couldn’t help herself. Don’t go back...

Guy shook his head. “No. Things got... bad. There’s nothing left for me there.” There really isn’t, he thought bitterly. All these years of putting up with Vaisey’s whims and humiliations, all the bits of himself he had had to amputate and shed in the process of rebuilding the Gisborne name and fortune, and there was nothing to show for it all.

“No... family?”

“No.” None to speak of...

Guy had had enough of these questions, now. What difference did it make, picking at the past like a scab? He had lost everything and had to start from scratch before, and, although he would never have chosen it, it appeared he had to do the same again. So be it. Guy was surprised to find the thought didn’t bother him as much as it should have. All the ambition that drove him for so many years had been burnt away, turned to ashes in the blaze that was Marian’s death, and in its place a need for revenge had grown like a twisted, blackened tree that had survived a forest fire. But now, after being away for just a few days, his appetite for revenge had left him. Let Isabella have Nottingham, let Hood have Sherwood. They could kill each other, for all he cared, he was done. I want to stay here... With Hope, Guy realised. Why not? He liked being around her, she had the means to help him, and she responded to him in a way that was very... flattering. She sure as hell was a better choice of someone to throw his lot in with, than Vaisey had been, Guy knew.

No one would accuse him of having a poet’s soul, but Hope reminded him of the sun-drenched fields in France. She reminded him of the Earth. She was generous, and nurturing, and warm, and vast, and heavy, and, Guy thought, she grounded him.

“Your turn,” he said, changing the subject. “And none of those songs about the men you killed.”

Hope giggled. “I’ve told you, that was Freddie Mercury. We’ve got to do something about your musical education.”

“Now seems a good time to start!”

“Right, ok...” Hope scrunched her forehead, trying to think of a song. “I know, this is one my dad used to sing to me when I was a teenager and got in a strop.

#In the crazy world

Anything can happen

If you will it to

I'm just a hazy girl

Blurring all the edges

Only seeing blue

It's a wild hope

A wild hope

Everything will be alright.”

“Wild Hope, hmmm?” Guy murmured against her neck. “I’d like to hear more about that...”

Guy is back in Locksley, about to get married.

“Are you married, Thornton?”

“I was. She died, years ago.”

“Did your wife... understand you?”

“I’d like to think so, yes.” The old servant’s kindly face twists into a mocking parody of itself. “We were both human, you see. So we could understand each other. No one understands you... because there is no humanity left in you, is there, Gisborne? No heart... Just the howling void.

Don’t look inside you Gisborne. You know what they say happens, when you look into the abyss... It looks back.”

Thornton’s face twists again, morphing into Vaisey.

“Lepers, Gisborne... You were always running after lepers. I wonder why that is, hmmm? Could it be -rot calling to rot? Like father, like son, eh?”

Maggots are squirming out of Vaisey’s eyes now, he smiles widely and his jeweled tooth winks at Guy. “My boy...” The Sheriff leans close, his carrion breath stroking Guy’s face like a promise. “I made you. I know you...”

“Nooooo...”

“What is it, Guy?” It’s Marian’s voice, and he opens his eyes and sees her smiling, looking down at him. “It’s just a nightmare, it’s not real.” She strokes his forehead with her cool fingers, and pulls up the blankets, tucking him in.

“It’s not real, none of it was ever real, you stupid boy... Only the sand, the sand is real and it gets COLD, Guy, I’m COLD, it’s COLD where you sent me.”

And the floor turns to sand, the bed turns to sand, it’s in Guy’s mouth, in his nostrils, and everything goes dark.

“Paura pichona,

Consòla-te,

Lo niu d'ironda

Tornarà ben.”

“Mother? I destroyed everything, mother...”

“Shhhh, Fiéu mèus. It’s fine. Nothing is destroyed, just changing. Lo niu tornarà ben, remember.

Look, the door is open. Go out in the sun for a bit, it will do you good.”

# It’s a wild hope,

A wild hope,#

“-everyone deserves to be loved-“

#A wild hope,

Everything will be alright.#

Hope started awake in the middle of the night. Guy was kicking her, tangled in the covers, obviously having a nightmare. She reached over to turn the bedside light on, intending to wake him up, but then he suddenly sat up, calling out her name.

“Hope!”

“Shhh... I’m here.”

Before Hope could ask what was wrong, Guy was on her like a starving man, kissing her desperately, cupping her breasts, pressing against her like he was trying to bury his whole self inside her. He was holding her so tightly that it was almost hurting her, but Hope couldn’t bring herself to care. Something had changed. Guy’s teeth and tongue were all over her, and Hope could feel him tremble. She had never realised how much he held back every other time she’d been with him. Instinctively, she put her hands on his face and kissed him back, keeping her eyes on his. She just felt like, more than anything else, he needed to be seen..

Guy pulled his head back and looked at her. His pupils were so dilated that his blue eyes looked almost black.

“Tell me you want to be with me,” he begged.

“I want to be with you.”

He moaned and reached between her legs, pulled her underwear aside and pushed inside her.

“Say it again.”

“I want to - Oh! - I want to be with you. I want you to stay with me. Guy! I love you...”

He rained kisses all over her face, thrusting, and it was all over so quickly; but that felt right, too. She stroked his face and kissed him, and Guy stared at her, lost for words.

“Hope... You deserve to be loved. I don’t know that there’s enough good left in me to do that.”

She kissed him again, and spoke his words back to him. “Hush. I know it’s hard. But it hurts more if you fight it.”

Notes:

*The Occitan lullaby is this one: https://www.mamalisa.com/?t=es&p=3877

Can’t say I’m sure how old it is, but I’m sure Ghislaine would have sung something similar.

*The song Hope sings is Wild Hope, by Mandy Moore.

*Fiéu mèus: my son

Lo niu tornarà ben: The nest will come back again.

Tagging: @whofriend @moony-artnstuff @fizzyxcustard @tigereyesf @guylty @xxbyimm @dumbassunderthemountain @aspookybunny @patanghill17 @ruthoakenshield

#sir guy #guy of gisborne #gisborne #richard armitage #fanfic #gisborne x oc #my fanfic #time travel #bbc robin hood #sorry Guy I tried #if you want to get warm you must stand near the fire

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gumnut-logic · 4 years

Text

When the World Goes Boom (Part Six)

This chapter is huge and was a challenge to write. The fic itself is now over 17,000 words. So much for a quick fic for Alan’s birthday. I give up.

Spoilers & Warnings: Spoilers for season three, angst, hurt/comfort, brothers and family, 5875 words

Many thanks to @scribbles97 and @i-am-chidorixblossom for putting up with my crazy and reading this at random moments.

I hope you enjoy it ::hugs::

-o-o-o-

There was nothing said between Jeff and his mother on the trip back to the house. Sally was of two minds. The first was to let it all play out, let Jeff trip over the brilliance of his boys and teach him the hard way that they knew what they were doing.

Not that she thought he didn’t trust them, it was more an unfamiliarity of how the family functioned in an emergency situation. This was the first time since his return that any of the boys had received a serious injury. It certainly wasn’t the first time for the family in his absence. Certain things had been put in place, certain habits came to the fore as the family retreated into itself.

Which led her to option number two - to sit him down, run interference between him and his middle son before they could blow each other’s heads off. Because that was what was likely to happen. Jeff was a lot like his eldest in temperament and John never responded well to Scott in confrontation.

So, her second option seemed the valid course.

Except Jeff refused to pick up the conversation.

Damn stubborn Tracy. The breed only came in that flavour and it could be as frustrating as hell.

As the car pulled into their driveway, she gave it one last attempt. A hand on his arm. “Jeff, hear him out.”

“I will.” Tight and dismissive.

She sighed internally and grabbed her bag, following him out of the car. The breeze was stronger than earlier and it caught her hair. “Jeff, they have been doing this a long time. They know what they are doing.”

He turned at that, one step on the front porch. “Mom, so do I.” And he turned back and entered the house.

She sighed. This was not going to end well.

Sure enough, words were already being exchanged as she entered the room.

John was frowning, his calm obviously unnerved by one of a handful of people capable of shaking it. “It was a legitimate move, Dad.”

“I’m not suggesting it wasn’t. My concern is that you did it without consultation.”

“I didn’t need to consult. It is my responsibility.”

“For my business.”

The room froze. Oh, Jeff. Her heart hurt.

“Dad, I...” Those turquoise eyes turned to her for the briefest of moments before flickering away. “The business is under the control of all of us, Dad. You know that.”

Her son swallowed, but kept his composure. “In that case then, why wasn’t I consulted?”

“Because that’s not how it works.” John straightened just a little. “Scott is the primary contact. He sees to day to day activities and calls on my assistance at need. Scott gets injured, the ultimate decision making falls to me. I made a decision to save future lives and I actioned it. I have no doubt Scott would support such a decision.”

Sally had no doubt either. Lemaire really was an idiot and it explained why they had so many rescues listing Oxy-Baker as the culprit.

Jeff swallowed visibly and Sally groaned internally. Jeff had come back from his isolation a changed man, but the core of his personality, the same aspect that had enabled him to survive so long alone, was still there. He wasn’t one to stand on the sidelines, particularly in a business he had built from the ground up.

“You created a media storm.”

“Lemaire created a media storm and Eos has it under control.”

“That control is limited and you know it. She can only delete so much before absences are noted and questions asked. You can’t jeopardise her or our operations for random gossip.”

“It is under control, Dad.”

“Then how did I find out about it?!” Great now his voice was rising.

John was still holding it together. “I know what I am doing. Lemaire cut his own throat with that broadcast. I knew he would do it and worked it into the strategy.”

“What strategy?”

“Dad-“

“Why am I never told anything? Why am I always on the outside?”

“Dad-“

But there was no stopping him. Sally’s eyes widened as her son flared like a sun gone nova.

He threw up his hands. “My own family! I, just...John, why do you shut me out?!”

John just stared. “Wha-?”

“Jeff.” Sally reached out and put a hand on her son’s arm.

He turned and stared at her, his eyes widening.

Sally opened her mouth.

Jeff’s phone rang.

The moment snapped. Sound returned to the room. Jeff’s harsh breathing. John’s wide eyes.

Her own heart beating too fast.

The phone rang a moment longer before Jeff reached into his back pocket and yanked it out.

His voice harsh. “Jeff Tracy.”

Her son kept the phone on voice only.

“Hello, Val.” His glare at John proved this discussion was not over. “They are both on the mend. Alan still need further surgery, but Scott is getting there slowly.” His voice was tight. “You know the deal, dressing changes twice a day. Burns are the worst. Virgil is on it.” A pause and a frown. “Yes, I’m fine…John and my mother, at the house.” He sighed and lowered the phone, deploying it’s holoprojector. Val Casey appeared before them all.

She frowned up at Jeff. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Val, I’m fine.”

Her lips thinned as if she didn’t believe him. Sally was not surprised. Val could always read Jeff, almost as well as her sister. The two of them used to gang up on him.

Sally had often wondered if Val could have become something more than the boys’ aunt, but Jeff had never pursued and Val just fell deeper into her career.

No doubt, Val would pursue the topic of Jeff’s health later, but for the moment she resumed the reason for her call. “We have begun investigations into the explosion and I was hoping International Rescue would be willing to share your data on the incident.”

Jeff’s eyes flickered to John. “I had assumed you had already received it.”

John caught that gaze and held it. He shook his head just a little.

Jeff’s eyes widened.

Val was talking to someone out of projector range. “Foster says she has yet to receive anything. John?” Her dark eyes turned to her nephew.

“We’re still assessing the situation, Aunt Val.”

She stared at him a moment, her lips thinning. “Very well. I will want Foster to interview Scott, Alan and John at their earliest convenience.”

“That may be some time, Val. My two boys were seriously injured.”

“I know that Jeff. I don’t like it any more than you, but there was a major explosion in orbit. We now have projectiles intruding on shipping lanes and orbital contamination. It is a mess up there. The World Council is demanding an investigation. This could affect the operation of International Rescue.”

Jeff frowned. “How?”

“There are those who claim your rescue organisation is at fault.”

“What?! Two of my sons nearly lost their lives.”

“Then prove they weren’t responsible by sharing the information.”

Jeff’s eyes hit John’s. “I will see to it.”

Val held his eyes a moment longer. “I look forward to it. GDF Command out.” The phone flicked off before anyone could comment.

“Why haven’t we cooperated with the GDF?” The words were sharp and shot at her middle grandson.

“It has become our policy to not trust the GDF.” John’s expression was resigned.

“Why?”

“The Hood has a spy in their ranks, possibly more than one.”

“The Hood is in jail.”

“It’s not the first time and it doesn’t mean much, Dad, trust me.”

Jeff’s lips thinned.

John straightened and appeared to steel himself.

Oh, for the love of-!

“Jeff.” Again, she reached out and touched his arm.

Again, it was thrown off.

Jeff opened his mouth.

John’s comms went off. “John, you there?” Gordon.

The room froze.

The astronaut stared at his father a moment longer before turning slightly and thumbing his collar. “Yes, Gordon?”

“Hey, bro, I think we have a situation.”

“What?”

“You okay?” Gordon’s tone became concerned and she could hear her fishy grandson’s frown over the commline.

“I’m fine. Details, Gordon?”

“Alan’s remembered something. We don’t think the explosion was an accident.”

As her heart sank, Sally stared as John’s turquoise hardened into obsidian.

-o-o-o-

Okay, if Virgil was honest, pushing Scott out into the sunshine wasn’t entirely just for his brother’s benefit. He closed his eyes, holding the bed still a moment as the sun hit his face.

“Oh, god, who turned the sun up?”

Shit.

Virgil grabbed his sunglasses from his pocket and handed them to his brother. They were snapped up and shoved on Scott’s face ever so fast. The wraparounds blocked out everything and the concussed man sighed in relief.

“Sorry.” So much for being the medical expert in the family.

“‘S okay.” Scott lay back and literally melted into the bed. “Feels good.”

Virgil relaxed a little and resumed pushing the bed out towards the gardens.

“Not too far, Virgil.”

His shoulders dropped. “Kayo, I just need a tree and a view. Scott needs it.”

The security officer held his gaze.

“It’s only Lemaire. The man’s an idiot.”

Her stare continued.

“Please, Kay.” Puppy dog eyes maybe?

He held it for a few seconds longer and was satisfied to see her shoulders finally drop. “Fine.” She stalked into the fore, hand signals thrown at both Jeremy and Iz and the three security officers bracketed the bed and the two men.

Oh, he was so going to pay for this.

But, yeah, totally worth it.

Kayo led them out into the park and under a tree as requested. Virgil pulled the hoverbed to a halt with a sigh. The view was magnificent.

Jeremy stepped closer and took up a position near the Tracy brothers, Iz melted into the gardens and Kayo glared at Virgil one more time before talking into her comms quietly and running a perimeter.

So going to pay for this.

“She’s going to turn your life into hell, Virg.”

“Eh, she loves me. She won’t kill me.” He walked around the bed and perched on it beside his brother. “How are you?”

The breeze caressed his cheeks and it was wonderful.

“Better to be outside of that room.”

Virgil caught the unspoken terror in his brother’s voice. “Alan is going to be fine.”

“I know.”

Virgil reached out and touched his brother’s arm. “He will be. I promise.”

Scott turned to look at him at that, tired eyes staring up at him with a fragile hope Virgil had never quite seen in them before. Scott was always the powerhouse of inspiration in their family. The leader, the mover, the focus. To see him so tentative was alarming.

It was the concussion.

It had to be the concussion.

“Are you okay?”

Virgil startled. “What?”

His brother was peering at him. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Virgil, seriously, are you okay?” Scott was frowning in concern.

Great.

“I’m fine.”

“You have bags under your eyes bigger than Grandma’s handbag.”

Virgil rolled those eyes. “Exaggeration. I just haven’t had my coffee this morning.”

Scott stared at him in alarm. “You were up that early and haven’t had coffee?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I had coffee over breakfast. Just haven’t had my morning refill.”

That stare continued. Ever so great. Now Scott was worried about him. “I’m fine. You’re the sick one.” He turned away so his brother couldn’t stare at him any longer.

“Did you sleep?”

“I slept.” A couple of hours at least.

“For goodness sake, Virg-“

He placed a hand on his brother’s arm. “I’m fine. Quit worrying.”

“It’s my job.”

“You’re on sick leave. Give it up.”

“Look after yourself.”

“I am. Just drop it, okay. I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Exactly.” But it was said under his brother’s breath and Virgil doubted he was supposed to hear it. He ignored it anyway and turned away to focus on being outside and free from the confines of the hospital.

Scott appeared to give up, though he did manage to shoot Virgil a concerned look every now and again.

Virgil ignored him and just sat back against the headboard with his brother and relaxed.

He was on the verge of dozing off when his comms squawked at him. As he focussed enough to answer, Kayo swept out of the shrubbery and joined them.

Virgil’s heart sank even before he heard Gordon’s voice.

The explosion wasn’t an accident.

-o-o-o-

The room was ever so much more depressing and confined with so many people in it.

Their father and grandmother returned to the hospital, this time bringing John with them. Virgil noticed from the moment his middle brother walked through the door that something was up between him and Dad.

When Aunt Val and her second walked in behind him, Virgil realised exactly what.

Their Aunt immediately moved to both Scott and Alan, enquiring after their health. Her second, Captain Foster appeared both fearful and uncomfortable and had every right to both emotions.

Virgil glanced at Scott and found the expected concerned expression on his face.

But his brother shook himself and the commander made an appearance, his expression calming while his blue eyes missed not a thing. Virgil both welcomed it as a sign of his recovery and with a little bit of dread. Scott had never been entirely convinced Foster was innocent in the Hood’s theft of her identity. Virgil was of two minds himself, but everything IR could access…and that was a lot with Eos up their sleeve along with John…just proved her innocence more.

So, they treated her as innocent.

“Aunt Val, what brings you here?” Scott lay back against his pillow, his eyes tracking the people in the room.

Alan, in contrast was beginning to look tired.

When Scott and Virgil returned to the room with Kayo, the astronaut had been energetic, fuelled by his own discovery and worry. The words had literally fallen from his mouth in report to Scott. Virgil had shoved the beds together and the eldest brother had reached out to gently touch and reassure the youngest. It had been an important moment for them. Virgil hadn’t missed the tremble in his big brother’s voice or his inability to let his brother go.

Alan hadn’t minded in the slightest.

Virgil himself stood to one side listening as both Eos and Alan filled gaps in the picture. Scott’s expression hardened with each word.

Understandable.

Virgil wasn’t impressed in the slightest that someone was responsible for nearly killing two of his brothers.

Kayo went ballistic.

More security was ordered and her voice was sharp over comms. Virgil had no doubt the hospital was now tighter than Fort Knox.

“Commander, I have a report that you don’t believe the orbital explosion was an accident.” The colonel’s voice was crisp and clear.

Scott’s eyes darted to his father.

Jeff straightened just a little his expression firming up.

That blue gaze darted to John and their middle brother’s posture parroted that of their father with just a touch of defiance. The flicker of comprehension in Scott’s eyes reflected Virgil’s assessment of the situation. There was definitely an argument on simmer in the room.

Scott pushed himself up in the bed and Virgil jumped in to help. He could understand not wanting to face this lying down.

Scott grabbed at his head and closed his eyes.

“Hey, take it slow.” Virgil caught his brother’s shoulders and shot a glare at his father. Goddamnit, if this set Scott back after all the progress today, John wasn’t the only one who was going to be in an argument with his father.

“I’m okay, Virg.”

Pillows were shoved in to support Scott and the commander sat up straight, not quite high enough to look Casey in the eye, but impressive enough.

Virgil stood beside him.

“Colonel, we have only just now discovered there may be a possibility that the explosion was not an accident.”

“I need details.”

Scott’s eye darted to Foster for the barest of fractions. “I would prefer to do my own investigation of this matter. I need further information.”

“This is GDF jurisdiction, Scott.”

His brother’s lips thinned. He knew their aunt was right, but trust had been eroded after so many failures on the GDF’s part.

“There are some discrepancies in the station’s records. We suspect they have been masking their intake of both precious metals and radioactive materials.”

Her dark eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“That is what we need to find out.”

“Do you have proof?”

Scott turned to John and every eye in the room followed. The astronaut didn’t blink, his voice cool as he answered. “You will have our records shortly.”

“Thank you, John.”

John didn’t answer.

Virgil frowned.

Their father stepped forward. “Thank you, Val. Keep us in the loop?”

“Of course.”

Scott’s lips thinned further. “Colonel, I would appreciate this information being kept in confidence.”

It was Casey’s turn to straighten. “Of course, Commander.”

Scott dipped his head just slightly. “Thank you.”

There was a sudden silence in the room.

It was broken by a snore.

Virgil turned to find Alan flaked out in his bed, on his back, dead to the world. The medic flared. “I would appreciate it if my brothers were allowed to rest. It has been a long day and they are still recuperating. His glare landed on their father and the man met him eye to eye.

It was the Colonel who had the apology. “I’m sorry, Virgil, but this was important.”

“I’m aware of that, Aunt Val, but Alan was seriously injured. We came very close to losing him. So, you will need to excuse us if we are a little protective.” On the bed next to him, Scott flinched. Damn. Poor choice of words.

Virgil dropped a hand onto Scott’s forearm and squeezed gently without looking at his brother.

“I can respect that, but I will require Captain Foster to interview both Alan and Scott as part of this investigation as soon as possible.”

Virgil took a single step between his brothers and his aunt. “It will have to wait until at least tomorrow, Colonel. Both need more time.”

“You are not a doctor, Virgil.”

Of course, that set off his grandmother. “But I am, Val, and Virgil is correct. You are going to have to be patient.”

Alan snorted in his sleep. Gordon, sitting on the end of his little brother’s bed, lay a hand on Alan’s leg. There was a frown on the aquanaut’s face.

“I am trying to help you, Sal.”

“I know that, but you will have to wait. Our boys aren’t up to it yet.”

The colonel’s dark eyes turned to the eldest man in the room. “Jeff?”

Grey eyes darted from their grandmother to the sleeping Alan to the glaring blue staring from Scott’s bed.

A soft sigh. “My mother, as always, is correct, Val. We will have to wait.”

Val dipped her head in defeat. “Jeff, as soon as possible.”

“You have my word.”

With that the colonel looked to each of them, turned and left, taking Captain Foster with her.

As the door clicked closed, their father rounded on them. “What was that?”

Scott frowned. “What was what?”

“That was your aunt. Your mother’s sister. I would think you would treat her with a little more trust and respect.”

“Dad, that was Colonel Casey of the GDF. This is a professional relationship and we treat it as such. We have had difficulties with the GDF multiple times in the past. I can not afford to trust that organisation blindly. Aunt Val, yes, she means well, but she is not in control of every person in the Force. I will not trust them any more than I have to.”

“Why?”

Scott stared at his father a moment before turning to John. “Make sure Dad has the necessary mission reports as soon as possible.”

John’s FAB was very quiet.

Their father returned Scott’s stare with equal wattage, his eyes grey stone. “I see we need to have an extended discussion.”

Scott dipped his head just slightly. “Yes, sir, we do.”

The ‘sir’ floated around the room like a harbinger. Scott hadn’t addressed his father like that in over nine years.

“Jeff, I think we should talk about this later. These boys need their rest.” As if to punctuate his grandmother’s request, Alan snorted and rolled over in his sleep. His soft whimper as he landed on his injuries had Gordon moving fast to gently prod him in the opposite direction.

Virgil winced, and realised he was still standing in defence of his eldest brother even though their Aunt had already left. A swallow and he stepped back to Scott’s side. He didn’t miss his grandmother eyeing him.

Grandma reached up and placed a hand on their father’s arm. “C’mon, Jefferson, you need rest.”

He turned to look at his mother. His shoulders sagged just a little.

Her hand travelled around his back and her touch became a one-armed hug. “You boys get some rest, too.” Blue eyes pinned both Scott and Virgil in particular.

Virgil let his head nod just once as Grandma steered her son out of the room. Their father must be really tired to allow himself to be herded like that.

But then this was Grandma.

Virgil sighed as the door closed behind them. Grabbing a plastic chair, he let himself drop into it beside Scott and for a moment just sprawled there.

“That could have gone a bit better.”

“You’re telling me.” Scott’s tone was as tired as Virgil felt. “Dad’s pissed.”

“Don’t blame him.” Gordon’s expression was sad.

It was Scott’s turn to sigh. “No…god, I’m tired.”

That perked up Virgil and, in a moment, he was standing again, fussing at his brother to lie down.

Scott glared at him, but surrendered without complaint, proof of exactly how much that little meeting had taken out of him.

“I’m sorry, Scott, but that’s not all of it.” John moved quietly closer to the bed; his expression just sad. “Dad feels we are shutting him out. That we are not including him in the decision-making process.”

That explained the tension on John’s face when he arrived.

Scott rubbed his face. “I…uh.” He let a breath out in a rush. “FAB.”

“I’ll speak to him tonight.” Virgil’s voice was rough and both Scott and John, along with Gordon in the background, turned to him.

“Virgil, are you okay?” John’s eyes were suddenly concerned.

Virgil cleared his throat and his voice came out more its usual depth. “I’m fine, why?”

His brothers’ frowns didn’t disappear, but Virgil pre-empted further discussion of his health by speaking further. “I’ll talk to him tonight. Hopefully he will have had a rest by then. We’re all tired. Tempers are guaranteed to be short.”

Scott grunted.

As if to parrot his big brother, Alan snorted again.

Gordon stifled a laugh.

Scott glared at him.

Virgil rolled his eyes and threw himself back into the chair.

Concerned turquoise eyes followed him, but Virgil ignored them.

God, he was tired. A blink. His coffee. He never got his damned coffee. Explained the tired.

He rubbed his face fit to erase it and lay back.

It could all wait a few minutes.

-o-o-o-

“Do you think he knows?”

“Of course, he knows. How could he possibly not?”

“He’s asleep. How could he know?”

“Because you never shut up about it.”

“Can it, you two, or you’ll wake him up!” The hissed whisper was closer and definitely Scott.

“I think that would be a good idea considering he is about to fall off that chair.” Gordon? Yes, Gordon.

Virgil shifted and realised he was not in a comfortable position. Not comfortable in the slightest.

He groaned as his body complained. Ow.

“Now, see that? You’ve done it. You just couldn’t shut up, could you?”

A gentle hand touched Virgil’s shoulder and he shifted again. Oh god, what had he done to himself.

“Hey, Virg, take it easy, you’re going to fall off the chair.”

Chair? Wha-? He forced his eyes open.

Just in time for whatever was under him to tip sideways.

The world tumbled into a mess of linoleum, orange and bruising hard surfaces.

Strong hands caught him though.

“Shit, Virg, you okay?”

The orange? The orange was Gordon. Virgil blinked attempting force clarity into his thoughts. His butt hurt and he had whacked a foot, but those strong arms of his little brother had caught all the important bits. A dazed stare up into eyes as brown as his own and his brain came mostly online.

“Ugh, Gordon? What the hell?”

“You fell off your chair.”

Virgil struggled to right himself and his brother helped him to sit up. He was on the floor. Scott was peering over the edge of his bed down at him, a worried frown on his face. “You okay, Virgil?”

He ran a hand over his face. “Uh, yeah, I guess. Thanks, Gords.”

“All part of the service.” As usual, Gordon’s tone was light, but Virgil didn’t miss the fact his brother hadn’t let him go yet. “You fell asleep. Did you know you snore like a frog?”

He turned to his brother. “What?”

“A genuine frog. I can even name the species. Mating call and all. I suggest you don’t fall asleep next to a pond. You may wake up with some interested, but somewhat slimy female admirers.”

Virgil stared at Gordon for a full second before giving up and shaking the man off so he could roll to his feet.

Ow, everything creaked. “How long?”

Scott’s eyes followed him as he staggered upright. “Maybe a couple of hours. You were tired.”

Still was. He rubbed his face again.

“You missed lunch.”

Huh? Food. His stomach groaned. “I’m good.”

“Bullshit, Virgil. Go home, you need food and a bed.”

He ran his hands through his hair. Ugh, sleep inertia. His brain was fog. He just needed a moment.

He grabbed his chair and righted it as his fish brother unfolded from the floor. His sore butt hit the plastic of the seat and he groaned. “I need coffee.”

Gordon snickered obviously ignoring the warning in those words.

Scott’s voice was firm. “Gordon, could you please get Virgil some coffee.”

That prompted a glare war between brothers that Virgil had no energy to umpire.

Blue must have won over brown like it usually did, because Gordon stomped off.

“You okay, Virg?” Alan’s voice came from somewhere beyond Scott.

Virgil grunted.

“Give him a minute…or sixty.” The grin in Scott’s voice was just offensive.

“Shut up.”

Gordon returned with what turned out to be a decent and wonderful and, oh god, coffee. So warm, so longed for. “Gordon, I love you.”

His brother snorted. “Figured, but I’m thinking you love the coffee more right now.”

“Mmm-hmm.” His eyes were closed and the smell. Ohhhh!

Someone was giggling but he didn’t care in the slightest.

Coffee.

It was a few reverential moments and some steaming liquid of the gods later before he surfaced enough to discover three pairs of eyes smirking at him.

Three.

“Where’s John?”

It was Scott who answered. “Lemaire threw another fit. He returned to the house to tackle it.”

“Another one? I thought John had the business secured.”

Scott sighed. “He does as far as I can see. Lemaire is just hounding the press.” Virgil narrowed his gaze at his eldest brother, suspicious. Scott rolled his eyes. “And before you ask, yes, I did fall asleep, but your snoring woke me up.”

“And me.” But Alan was grinning, obviously feeling better for his nap. “What frog was that, Gordo?”

“An African bullfrog. A big fat nasty one, just woke up from hibernation. Kinda applicable really, considering.” Gordon’s grin was fit to split his face in half.

Virgil ignored him and guzzled the dregs of his coffee.

Perhaps Scott was right. Maybe he should go home if he was disturbing his brothers.

A hand touched his arm. Scott’s voice was quiet and sincere. “Virg, go home. You’re wearing yourself out. Alan and I are fine. We will be fine. Go home.”

Virgil swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”

The door to the room opened and a nurse entered. “Mr Alan Tracy, it is time for your dressings change.”

Virgil blinked. It was that late? Where the hell had the day gone?

He pushed himself to his feet. He could hang for another half hour or so.

Scott groaned softly as Virgil moved his bed out of the way so they could undock Alan’s bed. “Virg, go home.”

“I will. After Alan’s had his dressings changed.”

“Virg-“

“I’m good. Gordon, hang with Scott and sing him a lullaby. Here hold my coffee cup.” He shoved the empty mug into his gaping brother’s hand and helped push Alan’s bed out of the room.

Alan’s giggle made it worth it.

-o-o-o-

The giggle lasted until they entered the procedure room and then nothing could deny the seriousness of the situation. They left Jez and Brie at the door to give them privacy.

As Alan’s bed was docked and the protective sheets laid beside him, Virgil moved to take up a position at the head of the bed and gently rested his hand in Alan’s hair. Out of the way, but still in contact with his little brother.

During previous procedures, Virgil had moved to the other side of the bed, but this time he wanted a better view.

Maybe down the track, he would be able to help his brother through his recovery.

The nurse left for a moment and Alan looked up, his hair soft against the palm of Virgil’s hand. “Thanks for this. I know it sucks to watch, but thanks for being here, bro.”

A small smile. “Anytime, Allie.”

He could have let Gordon come in his stead, but Gordon was as much his little brother as Alan, and while they were all adults…well, almost, his fingers brushed blond locks involuntarily…every instinct still called to protect them.

If he was honest, Virgil would have to admit that his family was everything to him.

He would do anything for his brothers.

A small sigh. He must be tired. He was getting maudlin.

The nurse returned, bustling in with a hypodermic. She smiled at Alan and he forced a grin. “Got me the good drugs again?”

“Certainly, Mr Tracy. Only the best for our best patients.” Her smile was genuine and friendly.

She prodded his brother’s IV line and injected the medication. “Let’s give that a few moments to do its thing.”

Alan grinned. “Bring on the psychedelic butterflies.”

The nurse only smiled and finished up. “It will be over before you know it, Mr Tracy.”

Virgil hoped so.

The next few moments were quiet as Alan settled.

Virgil found himself gently stroking his brother’s hair.

He wasn’t sure if it was for Alan or himself. Maybe it was for both of them.

Eventually, the door opened and the same nurse from this morning entered pushing a small tray of supplies.

Alan grinned. “Joe, you’ve come back for a second round.”

The young man smiled in return. “Wouldn’t miss it. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, the good stuff is doing its stuff. Can barely feel a thing.”

The nurse stepped up to the side of the bed, giving Virgil the barest of nods. “That’s what we like to hear. Have to make sure we have a happy customer.”

“Give me a little more and I’ll be more than happy.”

The nurse snorted as he lined up his tools. “Kelly says you’ve had just the right amount, Alan. Wouldn’t want you to go loopy on us.”

“Sounds like fun. Hey, Virg, is it fun?”

Virgil blinked. “Is what fun?”

“Being high as a kite. Joe, you should see what stuff like this does to my brother.”

“Alan…”

The nurse looked up at Virgil and a small smile spread across his face. “Really? What does it do?”

Virgil groaned. “Alan-“

“He gets funny. One time he tried to walk through a wall. Another time, he proposed to Kayo, his sister.” Alan giggled. So much for not being as high as a kite.

“Alan, please.”

“It’s okay, Virg. We still love you.”

Blue eyes were looking up at him and smiling.

God, Allie.

The nurse pulled out a hypodermic needle. “Now I’m just going to put in a local anaesthetic and we’ll get started.” He began uncovering Alan’s arm.

Virgil frowned. “Why does he need a local? He has a nerve depressant in place.”

The nurse blinked at him. “This is part of the procedure.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve attended every session with Alan. He has not needed a local anaesthetic before. You didn’t give him one this morning.”

The nurse turned towards him. “He was in pain this morning. I felt this would help.” The man turned back to Alan and pulled the covers off his arm.

“Which local are you using?”

The man didn’t stop what he was doing. “Why?”

“Virg, what’s wrong?” Concerned blue eyes stared up at him from the bed.

“Just asking some questions, Allie.” He turned back to Joe. “Can you please stop a moment and explain what you are doing?”

Joe straightened and turned to Virgil, resignation on his face. “I guess I’ll have to.”

A blur of movement, a sharp pain in his neck, heat and shock as he was flung away from the bed. His head hit something hard and the world sparkled in a rain of stars.

“Virgil!”

Alan!

What the f-?!

“You had to be a smart ass, didn’t you. Couldn’t make this easy. No…bloody Tracys!”

Virgil’s brain derailed for a second. The man beside the bed doubled as he reloaded the syringe. “Two Tracys instead of one, can’t hurt, s’pose.”

“Al-lan, r-run!” He fumbled for his collar. “J..J..ez.” Where was his voice? He lurched a step. “Alan!”

His brother was responding, ever so slowly, dragging himself off the bed, his sedated body ever so heavy.

Heavy…Virgil listed to one side and struggled to right himself.

Joe had the hypodermic charged again. He turned to Alan.

No!

Virgil threw himself forward and crashed into that doubling figure.

They went down with a resounding crash. Surgical tools went flying.

“Goddamnit! What does it take to shut you up?!”

Virgil wrestled with the man, but he was uncoordinated and numb. Joe slapped him across the face with an empty medical tray and everything vanished in pain for too many moments.

But he had a grip on an arm and he wasn’t going to let go.

The man struggled, fighting him, and Virgil again tried his collar comms his thick fingers fumbling. “Jez…Jeremy, please!” Not Allie, please not Allie, don’t hurt Allie.

White hot pain flared in his arm.

Not Allie.

Again, sharp, hot and burning.

Again. He whimpered.

“Get off me, you annoying piece of sh-“

Something stabbed into him and stayed there just as the room exploded with noise.

Not Allie.

“Scott, help…please…”

Everything came down to that fist and what it held.

Not Allie.

Not.

Alli-

-o-o-o-

End Part Six

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #Scott Tracy #Alan Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy

51 notes · View notes

ambivalent-auguries · 3 years

Note

✩ winkikkekk 4 ethan

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Nikki 100% Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Nikki again lol Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Ethan because a bitch is stubborn lol Who trashes the house? Neither, really? Do either of them get physical? Nah, it would never get to that point How often do they argue/disagree? Not that often, they get into their lil competitions and disagreements and miscommunications here and there but ye for the most part they just chill lol Who is the first to apologise? Ethan 100% yep mans is weak

Sex:

Who is on top? Does it matter?? I have a feeling Nikki would more often Who is on the bottom? As above lol Altho Nikki has bottom energy around Ethan, I still think Ethan would be like: ye daddy you fine take me lol Who has the strangest desires? Unless there is a hidden part of Nikki that likes leather or some shit I don’t know about, neither lol Any kinks? Eye contact, low voices, scratches or grabbing/being grabbed for Ethan, Nikki don’t know much lol He likes it not to be awkward LOL Who’s dominant in bed? Both Is head ever in the equation? Yeah boy If so, who is better at performing it? Ethan who else lol Ever had sex in public? They probably wouldn’t lol Who moans the most? Neither, not too much Who leaves the most marks? Ethan lol Who screams the loudest? Neither lol Who is the more experienced of the two? Ethan oop sorry Nik Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Make love uwu Nikki just outwardly cringed at that while blushing because he kinda enjoys that looool Rough or soft? Soft with A BIT of rough How long do they usually last? OOP That’s a question for you, Nikki, you deprived man lol They do alright lol Is protection used? Yeah they’re responsible adults Does it ever get boring? Maybe, but not really because Ethan loves this man and he would do anything to please him lol Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? A bathroom stall in a sports bar loool

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? KIMMY EXISTS and we all love her; Ethan used to be a dad :( If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Ethan is happy to just adopt Kimmy and Nikki’s had enough lol Who is the favorite parent? Ethan loooool SORRY IT’S TRUE Who is the authoritative parent? Ethan lol Nikki is weak against that lil pumpkin lol Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Nikki again because he a weak man lol Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Nikki again lool Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? BOTH They both care a lot Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Both, they tag team the teacher into submission lol Who changes the diapers? Both, Ethan probably more if they ever had a baby Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Ethan would more so do that, both if we talking about calming Kimmy down after a nightmare Who spends the most time with the children? They both try to get time in Who packs their lunch boxes? Ethan lol when he packs his and Nikki’s Who gives their children ‘the talk’? Kimmy gives herself the talk LOL Who cleans up after the kids? Kimmy is so good, she don’t need no man to clean Who worries the most? They both worry, Nikki probably more Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? Nikki and it would be ‘fuck’ LOL

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Ethan loves it, Nikki is getting a taste for it hehe Who is the little spoon? Depends on their mood lol Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Ethan lol Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Ethan lol How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Depends, but it’s probably Nikki who squirms away first lol Who gives the most kisses? Ethan because he’s loving like that such a good boy What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Honestly, anything, just chilling - watching TV, going out to have a drink, having food together, watching sports, spending time with Kimmy - they like doing things together lol Where is their favourite place to cuddle? Bed, because Kimmy can’t tease them about it lol Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Ethan yep How often do they get time to themselves? They do alright, not THAT much but plenty after Kimmy goes down for the night

Sleeping:

Who snores? Neither?? If both do, who snores the loudest? N/A Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Ethan forces his way into Nikki’s bed looool If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Cosy up because Ethan is a touch thirsty bitch Who talks in their sleep? Probably Nikki lol What do they wear to bed? Jogging bottoms and t-shirt Are either of your muses insomniacs? Nah Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Nope Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Lay side by side, they too tall for any limb wrapping lol Who wakes up with bed hair? Nikki and Ethan adores it haha Who wakes up first? Ethan, he’s stupid early Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Ethan uwu What is their favourite sleeping position? Side by side, on their sides, they have like an arm thrown around the other, very casual Who hogs the sheets? Nikki because he’s not used to sleeping with someone in his bed lol Do they set an alarm each night? Kimmy does lol Can a television be found in their bedroom? Don’t think so, they watch TV in the living room Who has nightmares? Neither of them tho, maybe Ethan sometimes when things resurface Who has ridiculous dreams? Neither Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Nikki lol Who makes the bed? Either of them, maybe they take turns What time is bed time? Mostly a reasonable time, but sometimes they may go wild and stay up later while having a good time out lol Any routines/rituals before bed? Brushing their teeth side by side, checking in on Kimmy and Ethan makes a habit of reminding Nikki how much he likes him Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Both lol But probably Nikki

Work:

Who is the busiest? Both are quire busy Who rakes in the highest income? Bro Nikki must be LOADED Are any of your muses unemployed? Nope Who takes the most sick days? Neither, Ethan pushes through like a champ and Nikki doesn’t even admit he’s sick lol Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Nikki, Ethan is so stupidly early for everything it pains me lol Who sucks up to their boss? NAH fam lol Ethan is also his own boss sooo What are their jobs? Nikki is uhhhh on the dark side while Ethan is a figure skating coach Who stresses the most? Nikki Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Ethan does, Nikki fucking hates his ‘job’... Are your muses financially stable? They are good adults, they even have savings

Home:

Who does the washing? Both, Nikki does it more because Ethan cooks usually Who takes out the trash? Either of them Who does the ironing? Ethan Who does the cooking? Ethan mostly lol Kimmy helps, always Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? NIKKI BRO do not leave this man alone with a stove, I fear for his life Who is messier? They are both like... Neither clean freaks nor slobs lol Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Ethan, because Nikki has been trained by Kimmy lol Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Neither Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither Who is the prankster around the house? Neither lol Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Neither, they p good lol Who mows the lawn? Ethan doesn’t do it because he likes watching Nikki do it hehe Who answers the telephone? Nikki Who does the vacuuming? Ethan Who does the groceries? Ethan with Kimmy’s help - they bring Nikki along tho lol Who takes the longest to shower? Neither, they are both p quick Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Neither of them are into bubble baths lol

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Nope How many cars do they own? Two, they both own one (I think?) Do they own their home or do they rent? Own uwu Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Not near a coast, nope Do they live in the city or in the country? City, imagine these two living in the country side loool Do they enjoy their surroundings? I guess, they’re not complaining lol What’s their song? THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH IT’s so SAD What do they do when they’re away from each other? Get on with their lives lol Where did they first meet? A bar How did they first meet? So... Nikki was like: oh shit, you’re my daughter’s coach and Ethan went: Ye whaddup baby I’ll drink you under the bar and Nikki went: I’ll drinkg you into putting your leg around your shoulders lol And he did loool Who spends the most money when out shopping? They are both good with money Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Neither Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Nikki laughs his ass off and viceversa loool Any mental issues? Ethan struggles with depression oop Who’s terrified of bugs? Nah they brave men Who kills the spiders around the house? Kimmy does, I swear lol Their favourite place? I like to think they return to the bar they met in uwu Who pays the bills? They both do Do they have any fears for their future? Yeah, Nikki especially does, he doesn’t want to put Ethan or Kimmy in danger due to his job; Ethan is honestly scared of losing Nikki and Kimmy ugh Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Ethan, he’s sweet Who uses up all of the hot water? Neither of them do lol Who’s the tallest? Nikki is, but Kimmy is even taller when she’s on Ethan shoulders so who really wins here, eh?? Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Ethan lol Trying to cup a feel lol Who wanders around in their underwear? Neither lol Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Neither do lol What do they tease each other about? Ethan teases Nikki about how shit he’s on the ice, Nikki teases Ethan about how much of a sap he can be lool Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? They are both like... Kinda clueless lol shirt and slacks and gym clothes, that’s all they wear lol Do they have mutual friends? Kimmy ofc uwu Who crushed first? HARD ETHAN on this one lol poor mans suffered in silence :( Any alcohol or substance related problems? Ethan has struggled with alcohol addiction Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? BOTH loool They be having wild nights together lol Who swears the most? Nikki loool

#ethan and nikki mood #they are solid mate #and i love them #bclasaeg

2 notes · View notes

novantinuum · 5 years

Text

Bi the Way...

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen

Words: 2.8K~

Pairings: Steven/Connie

Summary: Connie has a question, and also something to say.

Or: the one where Connie comes out as bisexual :D Set post Steven Universe: The Movie.

You can find the AO3 link in the reblogs! (I have to omit it from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos on AO3 as well.

---

Bi the Way...

Outside the familiar coziness of Steven’s bedroom, the late autumn rain pours steadily, the choppy waters of the Atlantic crashing onto shore with a ferociousness Connie hasn’t seen for a number of months. Historically, Beach City has been blessed to be host to consistently good weather. But even the most consistently stable meteorological systems aren’t immune to the odd unexpected shake-up. It’s a necessity to clear the air with a great thunderous clap, sometimes. It relieves pressure that’s built up long term amongst the clouds. It leaves the atmosphere noticeably cleaner, the dirt below sparkling with that fresh scent that comes about after torrents of cool rain.

On this particular afternoon, she’s found that this is a lesson that holds just as true for people as it does the weather.

It begins with a stray comment, as things often do.

They’re watching TV, the two of them, tangled together on his bed. About once a week they’ll try to have one of these cuddle sessions, just some time alone together to relax and enjoy each other’s company in private. Working alongside a myriad of Gems to aid in the restructuring of an entire society can be excruciatingly stressful at points, and so can rigorous AP classes and the eye-rolling drudgery of high school drama. There’s no placing a hierarchy on these things for them, no matter their outward difficulty or importance, they’re all just... the challenges in life they have to win. And on occasion, they’re the challenges they need a quiet break from. Both of them are no stranger to throwing themselves at a problem and working endlessly towards a solution until they hit rock bottom and crash, but over the years they’ve started to recognize this tendency for the bad habit it is. It’s okay to take 'me' time, Connie’s constantly reminding Steven (and herself) whenever she catches him about to stubbornly sneak away to the galaxy warp with clear stress lines rimming his eyes. And without fail he’ll groan halfheartedly, knowing he’s been caught red-handed, and retire to his room to relax with a book or a board game or a few rounds of Lonely Blade: Resurgence instead.

Today’s workaholic distraction is a marathon of old Under the Knife episodes. It’s been a while since they’ve binged through this show, and when Steven brought it up and she started to feel super nostalgic about it, in a flash their entertainment for the afternoon was selected.

“Gosh, I honestly forgot how good this is,” he says in the middle of an episode, nudging her arm with his elbow. “The satirical nonsense, the passion, the drama? Eh?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty pulpy,” she giggles, nudging him right back. Then, directed at the unhearing characters on screen: “Ughh, Marigold, come on, just go out with him already! We all know you like him!”

“I can’t believe they kept this a slow burn for five entire seasons,” he comments, pursing his lips. “They’re literally perfect for each other!”

Connie throws her arms down against the mattress, palms stretched wide open. “I know, right?? Adrien’s like, a total dreamboat of a man.”

“Yeah, he is pretty cute,” Steven says, an unmistakable blush coloring his face and ears.

Connie pauses upon hearing this, gazing at her boyfriend thoughtfully with a soft smile as he continues to watch this old episode with the same level of investment he exhibited upon its first airing. He props his chin in the cradle of his hands, which of course only further exaggerates the curve of his chubby cheeks. His eyes are blown wide with youthful endeavor, the TV’s glow glinting against his irises in a myriad of continuously shifting colors. He is pretty cute, she thinks, his own adorably smitten words echoing through her mind. And then that blush...

There’s a question she’s had for quite a while but has never asked. Something she’s suspected of him, but had no concrete proof of. The reason? Even if they’re best friends, and now— boyfriend and girlfriend on top of that— the idea of asking him something like this just felt too... what’s the word... invasive. Not that there’s anything wrong with discussing this sort of stuff, no, no, of course not! That’s definitely not what she means. But talking about something as important as this, she just knows it would turn into an in-depth conversation, as most worldly topics tend to do with Steven Universe, and it’s only inevitable this conversation would eventually turn back on her. On why she cared to ask in the first place. And that answer was... well, straightforward, but something she’s not sure she’s ready to broadcast. As if she’s taken command of but a single fragment of Garnet’s future vision, in her restless mind she’s already mapped out what feels like every possible response he could have to her. Most of them are no more than anxiety laced fabrications, things he would never ever dare think of with his upbringing, but believe her when she says she’s been burdened with considering every possible outcome in great, excruciating length.

Now that she knows for sure there’s a strong chance he’s the same way, however... that narrows down these possibilities significantly.

Connie threads her fingers together, gathering the courage.

Come on, you. It’s just Steven. No script, no planning, just... say it!

She opens her mouth to speak before her anxiety laden mind can beg to differ.

“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask- do you like girls and guys?”

Steven glances away from the television set to meet her curiosity head on. “Oh, you mean like, romantically?”

Running in automatic, she nods in confirmation. Here she goes. The answer to both her spoken question, and the question of which river of possibility this conversation will careen down.

He grins, scratching at the side of his neck. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I do! But I think I could like anyone, really. Guys, gals, none of the above. Doesn’t matter to me. That’s... okay, yes?”

“Silly, of course it’s okay! You don’t need my permission to like who you like. I just asked because I-“ Her heart pounds as she pauses briefly, focusing on the nervous jitters, but not in fear. Not anymore. Instead, that soft fluttering in her heart is nothing less than sheer exhilaration. She parts her lips once more, bravely speaking her inner truth into reality for the first time in her life. “I’m like that too. I... I’m bisexual.”

Her boyfriend’s whole expression lights up so bright she may as well be looking at a newborn star.

“Oh, really? That’s awesome!” he says, throwing an arm around her shoulder to side hug her. (Knowing him, his keen empathetic ability likely led him to sense the internal battle she waltzed through just to state this out loud.)

The forgotten soap opera continues to play in the background as Connie gives a bashful laugh.

“Hehe, glad you think so. You’re actually, um... the first person I’ve ever said that out loud to,” she says, blushing.

Steven looks as if he’s about to say something in response, but then he pauses— fades into a silence that’s deliberate and measured— as he gazes back at her. Drinks in the moment. Wonders how he could be so lucky to hold her trust like this, or how— heck, he could be thinking anything, she has no idea! Unlike him she can only catch small glimpses into how he feels, the truth woven like gossamer threads through his words and actions, but in this one hallowed moment she doesn’t need to guess. The spark of affection dancing within his dark eyes is soft, perhaps softer than he’s ever looked at her before.

More than anything, Connie feels seen. Years back, long before sword training and Gem missions, long before that fateful day she discovered the beautiful temple (it looked like it could very well be a Hindu goddess, and that cultural connection alone made this slice of beach instantly familiar) hidden on the other side of the hill and decided to park herself there with a book, she’d grown used to feeling invisible. Before she bravely chose to step into this world of magic, it’s as if she forgot that she even had a choice to stand out, to openly shine as the unique, extraordinary individual she is. Admittedly, she still struggles with that to this day. But whenever she’s with him, with her Steven? It’s as if her universe explodes into a kaleidoscope of dizzying color where everything is so, so beloved and worthwhile. She’s worthwhile.

She can only hope being with her makes him feel the same way.

“I know it’s silly after everything we’ve been though,” she continues in time, still having a few things on her mind she suddenly has an exhilarating need to set free, “but I always kinda worried that people... would belittle me for it, I guess. Especially my parents. That like, there’s some upper limit to the number of unusual things about my life they’ll accept.”

“It’s not that unusual, though,” Steven says with a shrug. “I mean, Ruby and Sapphire are legally married. Sure, the Gems aren’t exactly women, but they do present that way. And then Pearl was in love with Mom, of course. Oh, and Amethyst once told me, and I quote, that ‘like a whip, I swing in every direction.’”

Connie snorts at this, and even he can’t help but laugh.

“Let’s see, what else...” he muses, peering at the ceiling thoughtfully as he continues to list the queer individuals he knows of. “Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream are all dating each other. Mr. Smiley finally reconnected for real with his old comedy partner, and they’re dating. And my dad may not be seeing anyone but he’s always been openly pansexual.”

“Well, it’s not usual in my family,” she says glumly, nestling her chin into his bed’s comforter as the terrifying possibility of rejection hits her harder than expected. Her glance roams. On the television screen, the episode they were watching had paused automatically, a message asking if they’re still there popping up. Clearly it’s been a while since anyone’s handled the remote. She blinks past tears, shame settling at the pit of her stomach for even daring to cry them when others have gone through so much worse, and you’re lucky, what do you even have to feel lost about, and suddenly she begins to feels shameful just for feeling shame, and what cyclical, bittersweet irony is that, and what’s wrong with her, why can’t she stop obsessing over distant possibilities that likely have zero chances of coming to pass, why can’t she—

Steven breaks through her downward spiral with a gentle hand on her shoulder, rubbing away the physical evidence of her stress. She melts into his touch, forever smitten by this kind of casual intimacy they get to experience together here, alone. It’s innocent, still merely the wandering hands of two teenagers barely beginning to break the boundaries between close friendship and romance, but when words fail she’s discovered that touch can be a language of its own. And right here, right now, she knows he’s talking her down from the mountain of anxiety she’s marooned herself on. He’s leapt effortlessly into the stormy sky and cradled her in his arms, ready to float back to Earth’s surface together.

Outside, the rain continues to slap in rhythmic sheets against the deck. She shivers. Maybe it’s in reaction to the gloomy weather beyond the sliding glass door, maybe it’s despite it. She has no idea.

Steven scoots forward on his belly a bit, and rolls to his side so they can talk face to face without turning their heads. During this, his shirt rides up— ever so slightly— ambient light catching on the lower facets of his gem. The reassurance found in that beautiful, familiar smile of his is dizzying. “Well, at least no matter what happens with your family, you have more than one, huh?“ he says.

“Yeah,” she breathes shakily, eyes glistening with emotion at the metaphorical hand he’s extending with that statement.

Hopefully it’ll never have to come to that, though.

“I do think my parents will be fine with it, if I ever do tell them,” she continues, dabbing the dampness from her eyes. “Especially my mom. She works with queer patients all the time at the hospital, so she’s pretty used to stuff like that. I just... get anxious sometimes.”

“Yeah, I get that. It’s tough dealing with identity stuff.”

She hums, mind immediately harking to the years he spent doubting his own personhood. Seeking any kind of physical connection she can get, she nuzzles her cheek against his forearm, which he’s currently leaning on. They lay there like that in comfortable silence for a good while. Steven, laying on his side, one hand lazily trailing through her wavy hair, and her, curled up close to his heartbeat, hugging his free arm.

“Hey, while we’re on the topic, can I ask you something?” he asks eventually.

She nods. “Anything.”

“How’d you distinguish bi from pan, when you were figuring all this out? I know they’re pretty similar, and my dad tried to explain it a while ago when I asked, but I still don’t exactly get the nuances.”

Connie shifts to sit up, pursing her lips as she considers her words here. She’s done a lot of research into queer identity in her time, checking out books from the school library and looking up stuff online on incognito mode, but there’s probably still a ton of holes in her knowledge. “Hmm, okay... so I’m no sole authority on any of this of course, but to the best of my knowledge bi means you’re attracted to two or more genders, and pan means you’re attracted to people, but like... their gender isn’t really a factor in the way you experience that at all? I‘m pretty sure? There seems to be a lot of overlap. From what I’ve read people just sorta pick whatever feels the best to them.”

“Huh, that makes sense,” Steven says. “So picking labels is kinda like fusion, then! Whenever I fuse, we decide our own name, and it’s sorta... based on a feeling, y’know?”

“Yeah! And like, with Stevonnie... Even though Amethyst kinda inspired the name, they still had to figure out who they were as a person on their own.”

“Exactly! And then, even if two fusions are made of the same gem types, they could still have different names because they’re different people, and that’s what they choose. Anyways, that’s just what this reminded me of,” he says, glancing up at her with a bashful smile. “Honestly... I don’t actually know how I identify.”

The corner of her lips edge upwards. “That’s fine,” she reassures him with a pat, “it took me a while to sort through all this stuff.”

“I really wanna figure it out, have a word for it, but nothing’s clicked yet. For a while I thought I was pansexual like my dad, but that didn’t quite... feel right. Like—“ he too shifts to sit up, folding his feet under his legs as he continues to speak— “I love getting to kiss you, but no offense, I don’t... know if I'll ever want to have- to do anything more than that, y’know?”

She snickers at his inability to simply say the word sex. He’s seventeen now, he knows full well what that is, yet still his faux innocence on the matter remains. It’s one of his charms.

“None taken. Love and attraction is a bizarre, complicated world.”

“You can say that again.”

“Bogus.”

“Whack,” he agrees with a playful grin. Reaching for the remote, he presses play a few times to wake up their streaming site. The episode starts up right where it left off, and they continue to watch together, the air somehow feeling sweeter after her much needed release of emotion.

The satirical medical drama quickly fades into the background, though, as Steven’s hand curls around hers.

“Hey,” he says quietly, blushing. “Even if I don’t know everything about labels yet, I do know one thing for sure.”

She raises a curious brow. “What?”

“I know I love you.”

And before she can open her mouth to respond in kind, he’s kissing her cheek, swooping in like a bandit just like she did for the first time all those months ago, and her heart swells with affection for this boy. He leaves her with one kiss, then two. At the exact moment she turns her head to reciprocate— to sneak a gentle kiss to his cheek right back— he turns as well and she ends up meeting him at the lips. It’s but a quick peck, but she's almost floating. The two of them stifle a laugh as they gaze at each other, their noses almost brushing together.

“Hey, it stopped raining,” he comments then, grinning against her cheek.

She drapes her arms around his shoulders, and hugs him close. Her eyes trail to the glass sliding door. The clouds outside are still thick, but after releasing their load they’re visibly lighter now.

“Yeah,” she breathes, feeling her muscles finally relax as she sinks into her best friend’s embrace. “Yeah, I guess it finally has.”

#su #steven universe #connie maheswaran #connverse #su fanfiction #su fanfic #my writing stuff

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syntaxeme · 4 years

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Giardino Segreto ch. 8

[Read on AO3] | [First chapter] | [Next chapter] Rating: T Chapter summary: Molly is wary of Angel's new 'family' and their intentions. But are her suspicions based on observation or misinformation? One has to wonder where she's getting these ideas.

— — –

While Alastor sat aside and waited for Angel to join them, Venture was a veritable flurry of action, sorting through files, making calls, meeting with family members and giving orders. Granted, they had only been working together for the past month or so, but the change in her performance was shocking nevertheless. ‘Trying harder,’ indeed!

An hour or so after Alastor had entered the office, the doors swept open again to reveal a properly-dressed and put-together Angel with Molly in tow. She observed the space with wide eyes as she followed him inside and he explained proudly, “So this is my office. You met my consigliere already. Everything goin’ okay down here, Venn?”

While she might have normally responded with a clever quip or a tongue-in-cheek ‘no thanks to you,’ she instead gave him a curt nod, only looking up from her work briefly. “I’m drafting a contract for Cherri’s Dust dealer. I’ll need you to look over it by the end of the day so I can finalize that deal. The Cortezes got back to us with an offer this morning too, so let me know when you’re ready to discuss it.” And back she went to writing up the contract.

“Uh, yeah, will do.” Angel gave Alastor a confused look, as if to ask What’s up with her? but the Radio Demon could only shrug. It wasn’t as if he could explain to Angel the conversation they’d had earlier and the real reason for her increase in productivity. The boss frowned and turned back to Molly. “Eh, she’s usually more fun than that”—he shot her a look to see if his jab had provoked a response, but there was none—“but I guess she’s…busy today. Hey, Al, I’m givin’ Molls a tour around the place. Wanna come with?”

“Happy to,” Alastor agreed, much preferring an upbeat Angel to the very concentrated Venture. He joined Molly in following the boss downstairs to the ground floor and couldn’t help feeling that even though Angel was leading her around the building and pointing out all its various features, she was watching Alastor warily the entire time. Had he done something to offend her? Was his first impression in Angel’s room enough to make her assume he was up to no good? He could only hope his smile would make him seem less threatening—though he was aware it often had the opposite effect.

“And look, you’re gonna like this,” Angel was saying, holding Molly’s hand as they came back to the lobby and he led the way up the stairs to the mezzanine and lounge area. In addition to the bar, there was a sprawling seating area with armchairs and loveseats, along with a more unusual addition, which Angel had insisted was necessary: a grand piano where, every night, one of their host of demons would provide live music for the guests. And, just as he’d predicted, Molly lit up at the sight.

“Ooh, it’s gorgeous,” she cooed, hurrying across the room to seat herself at the bench and run her hand along the cover over the keys. As Angel and Alastor joined her, she looked up at her brother with eyes sparkling in excitement. “Can I…?”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t be able to resist,” he laughed, leaning against the side of the piano. “Knock yourself out.”

She lifted the cover, quickly found her fingering, and started to play with ease, evidently from memory. Angel went to stand over her shoulder and watch her hands move, so Alastor joined at his other side. He didn’t recognize the tune, but it was lovely regardless, and Molly played without a single falter or sour note. He somehow felt a bit more respect for her, seeing how focused and skilled she was at what he knew for a fact was a difficult instrument to master. For a moment, he entertained the idea of joining her—but it seemed a step too far. Maybe he would demonstrate his skills at another time.

“She’s good,” he noted honestly.

“Always has been,” Angel agreed with the slightest smile on his lips. It wasn’t the cocky grin he usually wore, all smug, pushy bravado; it was softer, more genuine, and Alastor finally realized how much it had been upsetting him to be separated from his twin.

That was only natural, all things considered. She was always the one to support him through their father’s violent outbursts, the only one in the Dellarosa household he could confide in and look to for understanding. Having that so suddenly removed from his life to be replaced by an army of demons who hardly knew him… Alastor could only imagine how it must feel. He watched as Angel sat at her side, looking more relaxed than ever, and he realized this was a problem.

Angel missed his sister. He was happier for her presence. Meaning that when she left to return to the Dellarosas, when she became ‘the enemy’ again, he would be utterly miserable. They couldn’t have that. Not only would it be a detriment to Angel’s overall mood, but it could interfere with his goal of taking down the Dellarosa family in the long run. Something would have to be done.

As Molly finished her song to light applause from the few guests in the area, she blushed and smiled bashfully. “Still got it,” Angel told her with a grin.

“Never lost it,” she teased back. “Hope I didn’t bother anyone.”

“Please, they should be thankin’ you,” he said, waving off her concerns. “Besides, I own the place; we can do what we want.”

“I still don’t get how you pulled it off. I mean, I saw this place a couple months ago, and it was a wreck!” Her eyes lingered on the glittering chandelier above them. “And I thought the owners were gonna demo it or somethin’. How’d you get ‘em to hand it over?”

“Eh, I had some help from my sottocapo here.” Angel nodded in Alastor’s direction. “This guy might not look like it, but he’s got a few tricks up his sleeves ya wouldn’t expect. He bought the place for a song and then gave it to me as a”—he tossed Alastor a smarmy smirk over his shoulder—“token of his affection. Didn’t ya, honey?”

You have no idea.

“You’re absolutely right, cher. You might also call it an investment.” There was something gratifying in the knowledge that Angel would so readily flirt with him around others, including his sister, even if in a teasing way. It felt legitimizing in a way, as if they did actually have some sort of relationship already. Of course, Alastor tried to take that satisfaction with a grain of salt, as the boss didn’t hesitate to flirt with anyone, but it still felt different when addressed at him. More specific, less flippant.

“Affection, huh?” Molly said, eyeing Alastor skeptically.

“Oh, come on, don’t make that face.” Angel nudged his shoulder into hers. “Not every guy I get with is a complete asshole.”

‘Get with’? That was a conveniently vague description of what was going on between the two of them.

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Molly answered, pursing her lips. “Anyway, this is all nice, but I wanna know where the real business goes on. I know you and your consigliere run things upstairs, but what about the soldatos? What about the caporegimes? It can’t be just the few of you.”

“They stay in the rooms all over; it ain’t the same as Pop’s place where everybody’s separated. I got capos on floor twelve and floor two. I got soldatos on floor ten and floor five. They’re just around.”

“But.” Molly’s face twisted into a pretty frown of confusion. “How do you keep everyone in line like that?”

“Oh, that’s not an issue,” Alastor answered before realizing he might be stepping on Angel’s toes. Still, the boss gestured for him to go on, so he continued, “Every member of our family has known since their arrival that Angel is the one in charge. We’ve only been in business a short time, but every day he makes it clearer that he knows what he’s doing and is someone to be trusted. I know without doubt that our people see that and respect it.” Angel beamed at his compliments, and he meant every word.

“It’s pretty impressive to have their loyalty after just a month or so,” Molly noted. “How many’d you say there are?”

“Like two hundred, give or take.”

She bit her lip, the gesture eerily reminiscent of Angel’s habit of doing the same. But why should she be nervous at the moment? “That’s way more than Papa’s got,” she said with a weak laugh.

“Yeah, that was kinda the point,” Angel agreed with a satisfied smirk. This was another particular he had stipulated when the Giardinos first began. “Gonna be a lot easier runnin’ him outta business when we can prove we got better forces.”

The young woman drew into herself slightly, legs crossed at the ankle, hands folded delicately in her lap. “You’re really serious about that?” she asked gently.

“C’mon, Molls.” The boss let out a sigh and pushed to his feet. “Don’t get all weepy about it. I know ya don’t like thinkin’ about it, but you can’t act like he doesn’t deserve some kinda payback for all the shit he’s put me through. I ain’t askin’ ya to help me do it, but ya ain’t gonna stop me either.”

“No, I know,” Molly said hastily, her hands clasping tighter as she looked up at him with what seemed more like concern than irritation. “I’m sorry, caro. I don’t want you thinkin’ I’m not happy for you. I am. I’ve just been worried. You’ve been gone all this time, and nobody knew what you were up to. I’ve never been away from you that long before, especially not knowin’ why. It was scary.”

Angel ran his fingers through his hair to comb it back from his eyes, visibly fighting guilt over his sister’s discomfort. “Yeah, I get it. Look, why don’t we take a step back from the whole business thing for a minute?” He paused to check his watch. “I’ll take you to lunch or somethin’ and we can just talk like normal for a while. Okay?”

She smiled sheepishly. “I’d like that, Angelino.”

“C’mon, then. Lemme show ya around my part of town a little.” The two started toward the stairs, but he paused when he realized Alastor wasn’t following. “You comin’, Al?”

It was difficult to miss the distinct pout on Molly’s face as she turned to continue on her way as if she hadn’t noticed Angel stopping. Difficult to misinterpret her attitude toward Alastor. “Actually, I think I have some work to get done here,” he said apologetically.

“Work?” Angel scoffed. “Since when d’you have work? I don’t remember givin’ ya anything to do lately.”

“Then I’ll find something to keep myself occupied.” Lowering his voice slightly, he nodded toward Molly. “I think your sister would prefer to spend time with you alone. Not that I can blame her.”

“Well. What if I need you or somethin’?” Angel insisted, arms crossed, pouting a bit himself.

“Then call me, and I’ll come to you.”

The boss let out a frustrated huff. “But I wanted you two—”

“Angel?” Molly called, standing by the stairs. Nothing in her voice was demanding or whiny, nothing in her smile signaling impatience. “I thought we were leavin’.”

“Just a minute,” he answered, waving a hand at her, obviously still not satisfied with where he and Alastor were leaving off.

“If it’s going to bother you, I’ll come along, cher. I could also follow discreetly in case you run into any trouble. It’s up to you.”

The boss let out a sigh and shrugged. “Nah, forget it. I been away all this time; least I can give her is an hour or two for just us. I’ll see ya when we get back.” His eyes flickered down to Alastor’s lips, and he started to lean closer, then thought better of it and backed away, giving a weak half-smile as he went to meet his twin at the stairs. As they left together, that smile quickly turned more genuine, and Alastor’s chest constricted with unwarranted jealousy.

— — —

Luckily, he wasn’t allowed much time to dwell on whatever angst Angel’s outing with Molly had instilled. Looking for something to do with himself, as promised, he went back up to the third floor and the office, where he found Venture in a meeting with a group of three capos. Her eyes darted toward the door as he entered, then she went on with her conversation.

“I don’t want excuses, gentlemen: I want answers,” she said plainly. “This isn’t grounds for an execution or even an expulsion, but when the boss hears about it, he’s not going to be happy, and he’ll want the name of whoever’s responsible. You’re going to get me that name. Understood?” All three nodded in silence, and she dismissed them with a flick of her hand, turning her attention to Alastor instead. “Where’s Angel?” The usual languid self-assurance in her voice had been replaced with a certain no-nonsense quality to match her sudden severe attitude shift.

“He took Molly to lunch. He said they should be back in an hour or two,” the Radio Demon explained, wandering over to her corner of the room to look over her desk, which was far busier than usual just as she was.

Venture let out a clipped sigh. “Of course he did. First the distraction with you this morning, now a personal visit—with one of our rivals, no less. Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll be able to spare some attention for the business too. Our don is quite a popular man,” she grumbled, even her writing fevered and frustrated as she scribbled down some note or another and scanned over the many stacks of papers on her desk to categorize it.

“Ahem. Is there anything I might do to help?” Alastor suggested, almost wishing she would take back her vow to so thoroughly devote herself to the Giardinos’ success; she was so much less fun this way.

“Oh, do you work here?” she chuckled, finally raising her eyes to meet his. That was the same sentiment Angel had expressed, and he still didn’t care for the suggestion that he wasn’t pulling his weight.

“You should know better than anyone, my friend, that I’m every bit as capable a man as one could find in these halls,” he answered indignantly, gesturing toward the rest of the hotel. “Just you tell me what needs doing and I’ll see that it gets done.”

“Is that so?”

It seemed as if Venture took those words as more a challenge than an assurance. Somehow, she had a never-ending list of errands to be run, ranging from within the hotel itself to a few blocks down the way to the opposite end of Manhattan. Alastor, ever a man of his word and always up for a challenge, fulfilled every directive she issued, from pressing their lessees for unpaid ‘taxes’ to seeking out some poor fool who had borrowed money from the family and then gone awol.

Over the course of his trials—which had by then become a matter of principle—he must have lost track of time; he returned to the hotel with a bundle of dossiers Venture had sent him practically all the way to the Bronx for, but stopped outside the office when he found Molly waiting there on her own.

“Nice to see you again, but I feel you’re missing something. Have you lost Angel?” He tried to joke, but her smile was sympathetic at best.

“He’s inside,” she said, nodding toward the door. “His consigliere really wanted to go over this deal they’re doing with the Cortezes, so…maybe not the best time to go in.”

“I see.” He wondered how Angel was dealing with Venture’s paradigm shift.

“Our family doesn’t really deal with the Cortezes,” Molly mused, absently twirling a pale blond curl around and around her finger. “Papa says they got too much Spanish in ‘em. ‘No sense of urgency.’”

“As I understand it, Angel doesn’t subscribe to many of your father’s more traditional ideals,” Alastor answered cautiously.

“Yeah. That was never his bag, I guess.” Her eyes wandered to him, inspecting everything from his hairdo to his fashion sense to the spectacles perched on his nose. “He talks about you an awful lot.”

He could only hope his smile didn’t look too self-satisfied. “That makes sense. We work together closely, so he spends a lot of time around me.”

“Yeah, but it’s not really the way ya talk about a coworker. He doesn’t talk about his consigliere like that. Plus I saw how ‘close’ you two were this morning.” Some of the sweetness had faded from her voice since her earlier conversation with Angel.

“May I ask why that bothers you?” What about being involved with Angel is inherently a sin?

“It doesn’t,” she said unconvincingly. “Just makes me a little nervous how he’s trustin’ all these people he barely knows like they’re a real family.” There was nothing catty or snide in her tone; she genuinely just sounded worried.

“With all due respect,” Alastor started at length, “his ‘real’ family, present company excluded, have proven they aren’t all worth trusting.”

For the first time, he saw a distinct scowl crease her face. “What d’you know about it?”

“Only what Angel’s told me. I wouldn’t try to explain your own family to you, but my point is that this change of scenery—and company—has done him nothing but good.” He tried to be as gentle and unobtrusive as possible in noting all this, to make his point without making Molly feel attacked. Not an effort he would make for just anyone. “Doesn’t he seem happier to you?”

“I guess,” she mumbled, winding her hair tighter around her fingers. “But it’s not right, him bein’ away from home. It’s not where he belongs. Family’s supposed to stick together, especially families like ours.” There was a hint of nervous panic sneaking into her tone, as if these concerns had been building up all day but she’d been afraid to voice them to Angel. “What if somethin’ happens? What if he needs help and we’re not there? What if he gets hurt and I’m not around to take care of him?”

In some ways, her concern for Angel resembled his own more than, say, Cherri’s. She wasn’t aggressive or controlling. She didn’t act as if she knew what was best for her brother better than he did himself. She simply recognized that the world—especially the world her family lived in—was a dangerous one and wanted to be present to see him through it. Because she loved him.

That was a sentiment Alastor understood.

“You don’t have to worry about all that, my dear. I can promise you, as I’ve promised Angel: I won’t let him come to harm. Whatever it takes, for as long as I’m breathing, I’m going to keep him safe.” Alastor was almost surprised at the fervor with which he made these promises, but maybe he shouldn’t have been. The passion that burned in Angel was the sort that spread to anyone he touched.

“But. But if…” She was biting her lip again, her shoulders tense as she struggled to accept what she was hearing.

“I understand your concern. Truly. But please believe me when I say that here, among this group and in this role, is where he belongs.”

Molly took a slow breath, then gave a small nod. “I think you might be right.” She covered her eyes with one hand in what at first looked like a sign of frustration. Then her shoulders trembled slightly, her breath came out in a shuddering sigh, and Alastor realized with horror that she was crying. A bolt of panic shot through him as he tried to figure out what he’d done wrong and how on Earth he could fix it. This was the last thing he’d wanted!

“I. Er. I’m sorry, Molly. I didn’t mean—”

As luck would have it, this was the point at which Angel exited the office. He paused for a split-second, saw his sister in tears as Alastor hesitantly reached out to her, and rushed over in alarm to pull her close. “Hey, what’s wrong, passerotta? What happened?” Shooting a defensive glare at Alastor, he hissed, “What’d you do?”

While the demon was at a loss, unable to explain any part of the turn this conversation had just taken, Molly was shaking her head, trying to speak past her tears. “No, no. It’s not him, caro,” she managed, burying her face against Angel’s shoulder. “It’s me. I’m the one who… I-I was so worried about you, and he said you weren’t safe here—”

“Alastor?” Angel asked, confused, but she shook her head again.

“Papa.”

#RadioDust #Giardino Segreto #Hanahaki Disease #human!Angel Dust #mob boss Angel Dust #Angel Dust x Alastor #Hazbin Molly #anyway so help me god Angel is getting laid in the next chapter

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