#i love how she carries herself idk. and how private she is? in interviews she's like yeah this is my dog [name redacted for privacy] YEAH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sualne · 2 months

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hii! honeslty just curious, I read/watched kuroshitsuji AGES ago and I don't think I've finished the manga anyway, does grell go by she/her?? I vageuly remember ppl headcanonning them as enby though iirc in canon he's a guy?

Your tags peaked my curiosity, I haven't seen any Kuro content in a hot minute, but I remember it being the absolute must watch in my peak anime watching years lol And I absolutely loved the manga's artstyle

in canon grell is a trans woman, yana toboso has said something like "grell is a man with a woman's heart" ages ago and sometimes around 2014/16 had tweeted something about wanting to be more careful with her representation of people like grell in the future, don't quote me on that thought because i only read that tweet once and only remember reading a shitty screenshot of a translation of that interview where she allegedly said that.

i can however show you this:

it's from a bonus chapter (after chapter 108) about the popularity polls (it's a very convoluted non canon chapter) but it's one of the most blatant example of her being trans.

there's also the way she constantly refers to herself as a "young maiden" ect. idk how it goes exactly in the og but in french they translated it so grell always refers to herself with feminine terms while everyone else misgender her including the narrator. she very consistently reaffirm herself as a woman through every single ones of her appearances, like it's a thing she very much does, every single time she's on screen.

i haven't watched the anime in forever (cause it's kind of a disgrace and insult to the manga lol) but if i remember properly (which i mostly likely don't) they did omit/lowkey censor some of grell explicitly going "i wish i had been born a woman/could have been able to carry children" when she first properly introduce herself as a shinigami & the other half of jack the killer. (the anime also really did lean a lot more into the pervert queer caricature whereas in the manga she's given a bit more dignity, especially the further the story goes. though that might be my own impression and maybe it didn't change that much i just love her a whole lot).

also because i have to, please forget the anime (the first two seasons that is) and read the manga first and foremost because oh boy, what a disaster the anime is (nostlagia and atmosphere wise it's entertaining, i really love the op & ed, but it just, i just cant man it doesn't even compare to the manga at all). only watch book of circus -> book of murder -> campania movie -> the new private school arc that's coming soon (idk what they called it) after reading the manga.

#undescribed #she's my problematic girlie and i love her so much. there's subtext too for her transness but that goes in spoilers territory. otherwise sh #'s been VERY blatantly trans since her introduction it baffles me ppl refuse to accept it (not noticing it is fine cause when i was a kid i #didnt really get it because i didnt know trans ppl where a thing but one day it all clicked into place yknow)#unrelated but it kills me that sebastian is only a transphobe because it's 'historically accurate/what a good butler of his position #should be' he only says that because 1 he's a bitch 2 he doesn't like grell 3 he gets a kick out of playing the good butler role #i hate/love his stupid fucking ass i need to punch him so bad. he's so annoyingly funny i can't stand him. he's just awful and having a #grand time what an ass. back to queer ppl there are other in the story like nina hopkins being a lesbian (HEAVELY implied) and doll's whole #thing. it's one of my favorite manga ppl should give it a try just dont look at the anime pretend it's not there pls

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thehappyscavenger · 2 years

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Books Read in August 2022

Post-traumatic by Chantal V. Johnson

I found the set up for this book really interesting and the main character flawed in a way that felt delightful and real. It’s about an NYC based lawyer who struggles with PTSD after a childhood sexual assault, has a terrible family she wants to estrange herself from, has an eating disorder and preaches sisterhood and feminism while centering herself around her romantic male interests and subtly judging other women’s bodies. I feel like there are few authors out there who are willing to let their heroines be this flawed and act out.

Unfortunately the plot is a little meandering and I didn’t really like the way it ended. It has an ending I would wish on a troubled person irl but as a book ending it felt a little boring and unsatisfying.

Villette by Charlotte Brontë

I’ve been meaning to read this for years because I’m a huge fan of Jane Eyre but I’ve always kind of put it off until now. This is definitely a slow burn and a flawed strange book but Bronte’s beautiful maxmalist writing carried me through even though the first 40% is set up for the rest of the book. It’s a bit hard to describe the plot but I ended up really falling in love with the narrator who lives a small and ordinary life that is so devoid of comfort and happiness. I think Charlotte so beautifully describes how an ordinary life is crushing and how painful introversion can be. There are also moments of great humour. I don’t think she ever gets credit for her dry sense of humour (which is apparent in Jane Eyre too).

An interesting work I’d love to revisit in the near future.

Run Towards the Danger by Sarah Polley

For Canadians of a certain age Polley is super iconic and I’m of that age and she is to me. She’s always been a mix of really open and really private in that in interviews she’ll talk about how traumatic being a child actor was and she made a whole documentary about finding out her dad wasn’t her bio dad but she’s also super private in that she’s turned down choices that could make her more famous.

Run Towards the Danger are a bunch of essays in her no-nonsense style, most linking a physical trauma with some detail of her career. She’’s had a hard shitty life but one thing the book talks about is how even though people can be traumatic people can be healing too. I have no idea how people who are unfamiliar with Polley would take this book (IDK I think there’s plenty there even if you’re not familiar with her) but for me it was a great and insightful read into an amazing Canadian figure.

A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes

A random NYRB classics that panned out in the best way. It takes awhile to get going but once it does it’s incredibly interesting and disturbing. A High Wind in Jamaica is about a bunch of white colonialist children growing up in a post-freedom Jamaica who are sent to England by their parents and on their way get accidentally kidnapped by pirates.

It reminded me quite a bit of Lord of the Flies but I found what Hughes was trying to say about children was more interesting, subtle and disturbing. There is a certain amorality to children which comes across here. Also as a b plot I think this book is quite touching in the way it shows how rape victims and molested children are treated as if they are the villains. A really fantastic book.

#currently reading #Post traumatic #Chantal V. Johnson #Run Towards the Danger #Sarah Polley #A High Wind in Jamaica #Richard Hughes #Villette #Charlotte Brontë

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cloveroctobers · 4 years

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NOAH SAMPATH —

IG info/bio: @/noahknowspat | 275k followers | “A True Renaissance-Man.” | (currently his page is on private, which he often does several months out of the year

25 (26) years of age

Born & raised in Kandy, Sri Lanka until his mother decided to uproot him & his sibs to the uk leaving his father behind

Both of his parents are from Nuwara Eliya

His parents decided it would be best for just his wife & children to live elsewhere while he continued his work in hotel & tourism

Which to him, is the best job he’s ever had—in a sense it felt like he loved his job a little more than his family but Noah knew that wasn’t completely true

Noah figured there was something secretly going on between his parents, he noticed how they would argue more over the years & how his father was fond of their homeland while his mother was not

She did not have much family left, most either leaving the country or dying from sickness

He’s used to living in a bungalow since that’s what he grew up in

Moved to Romford which didn’t take long for him to get adjusted to, he was quick to adapt to situations since that’s normally expected of him as the eldest...

Lived with an aunt? Who really wasn’t a aunt in a cramped 2 bedroom apartment with a child of her own (who was around Noah’s age and favored Richa Moorjani) for a couple of years

Has two younger sibs: a 17 year old brother, and a 11 year old sister

His mother was m*rdered just before his 18th birthday, therefore he’s grown not to celebrate his birthdays even tho he knows deep down that’s not how his mother would have wanted him to go on

She was wise and often stayed up with the moon having conversations with her eldest—if not with all her children

but as he looked back on their conversations he could tell that his mother knew she wouldn’t be on this earth for long

Which showed him a different way of living

His father hated Romford, didn’t think it was the best/ safest place ( I did some research and mostly saw that this town is kinda rough. Anybody from the uk reading & have experience with the town please confirm? Not attending to offend anyone plus every place has its rough areas) for his family & felt his point was proven once his wife was k*lled

He demanded for his children to come back home but Noah wasn’t having it once he realized his father had changed & became aggressive himself

He hated confrontation but he was of age now so he could do what he wanted but there was no bloody way his sibs were going back with this man

He was not the man they all once knew—shit, his sibs BARELY knew him

So Noah fought a lengthy battle with guardianship over his siblings

It only became easy once money was involved for the man to back off

It was v difficult to manage a household and two children at 18-19 all on his own but he was willing to do it, he felt like it was part of his purpose

Plus his “auntie” & “cousin” came around quite often which helped somewhat & even tho the woman was gritty in how she carried herself, anyone could see she cared for Noah’s mother & her children otherwise she wouldn’t have been around before & after his mother’s death

She became like a second mum but no one would ever replace his mother

It was tough going through his early twenties...he had became a parent figure instead of going to uni to study archaeology

He loved fossils & dinosaurs as a kid

probably keeps up to date with any articles or shows that share their findings on prehistoric species in water or land (I find that shit so creepy yet interesting until I get too creeped out and leave lmao? especially dealing with the ocean!)

Enjoyed that American show called “siren”

He didn’t enjoy much of what usual twenty-something year olds would, he had to be home to take care of his siblings they became a major part of his life now

He is the type to bottle up his feelings. Ofc he jumped at the chance to raise his sibs without a question after seeing the state of his dad a week after his mum’s funeral but he knew he HAD feelings

He wasn’t a robot just because he tends to be quiet & observant

He had his low days too

But he would hide them in books, that was his safe haven, his escape

He loved working as a librarian even if he got shitted on for it

It never payed much even in his position but it brought him comfort that there were aisles of novels ready to tell him stories & found some relation to his own life

As if that wasn’t enough, he loved going to book shops as well. If he had enough $ leftover he would treat himself in a new book purchase

Will buy a new book even if he has piles of unread ones, which he does have a section of that in his room & in the corner of the living room

Has a kindle since it was the cheapest & can easily slip it into a bag if he can’t decide on what book to bring with him

Has glasses but prefers contacts, ‘i don’t want someone to think I’m that nerdy since I read out in public.’ He often thinks to himself—yet when he’s immerse in those pages the world goes silent around him

Collects vinyl toy figures and keeps them either on his mantle or built in shelves in his room

Loves coconut water & won’t drink any water unless it’s coconut

Got his gorgeous cheekbones from his dad

His father p*ssed during his 23rd year of life due to tsunami hitting the hotel he worked in

He took his sibs to their native land once it was safe and connected with their father’s side, which was bittersweet

I think I get Scorpio energy from noah? Idk but it’s in there somewhere

He likes cutting his food into smaller pieces no matter what it is, it’s just a habit since he did so for his younger sibs

Secretly it’s also easier for him since he feels like the dentist ruined one of his nerves once he got his wisdom teeth out

He hates the dentist

His baby sis is deaf & he absolutely took the time to learn sign language along with his brother

Chose buying her hearing aids over paying a monthly bill when $ got tight

His 17 year old brother now works a job & helps out the best way he can even if it took a bit of persuading from their cousin

They’re all extremely close and are aware what Noah’s done and continues to do for them

Probably enjoys painting even if he’s not the greatest at it, but there’s something about water color that is pleasing to his eyes

He’s had many jobs to keep food on the table and support his family but being a custodian paid him the most yet he couldn’t continue working overtime not when his sibs were as young as they once were. He had to let the job go, the money was great, his co-workers sucked since they never came to work leaving him with OT, but it was also a lot of gross work & the teenage girls were always hitting on him

Prone to taking on more than he can chew whether it’s in relationships or life situations

Has either one or two best friends outside of the villa & they’ve been tight since junior year

They didn’t approve of Noah stepping forward to take care of his sibs, knowing it would be a big responsibility & possibly put his life on hold

But they didn’t understand & came around to once they saw him in action & became supportive/proud

He knows they mean well?

Cannot dance

Owns a couple of blazers that he feels the most comfy in

Loves a good pin-striped dress shirt

Has soft thin wavy hair

Will sport a 5’oclock shadow if he’s stressed out, tired, or wants to show a more “mature” side of himself

Misses his mum’s Lamprais & kottu roti

He’s 5’11

Had 1-2 gfs before the villa & both of them were super lengthy relationships which there’s obviously nothing wrong with

Always trying to make it work even if there are signs of it failing

Is not the dominant one in relationships & usually wants to keep the peace—which falls back on him taking everything on his plate & bottling them up instead of addressing situations from the jump

Is observant but also likes to assume?

Tries to be honest & loyal

Once he’s in a relationship & it’s confirmed from the other, he is completely devoted & smitten

I think quality time is his love language

I also think he tried to play the violin growing up since he found that to be one of the instruments that holds so much passion

Likes period pieces minsus the racism :)

Has read Frankenstein countless of times over Shakespeare, he’s got good work, yeah? but it’s a bit overrated

Keeps in touch with rahim & feels he understands him on a level his mates of years do not

They go holiday together when Noah feels he can afford it, even if rahim says he can pay for it. It’s not a big deal

Yet it is. He feels insecure when someone feels like he can’t do something because of where he’s from & what he does for a living. It showed more in his relationship with hope

Sure she was constantly paying for things but when he silently took the initiative to do so it was automatically assume that he didn’t have it even with his wallet out to pay

There were plenty of flaws in his relationship with hope and it took forever for him to see the toxicity in it even if fans adored them together

I’ve decided that they won’t be endgame. Which breaks everyone’s hearts after he’s the one to surprisingly call it quits after 3 years. He thought it would get better once he realized they way the acted towards each other was not completely heathly but it got worse

So he did what he had to do with what was in the best interest of everyone & hope did not agree

It was heated, it was emotional, and there was a last moment of intimacy to seal the deal of their goodbyes

Then came the drama online, with interviews and people trying to bring Priya into the mix & Hope was always vocal so it became a bigger issue

Noah just wanted to heal on his own but he was never going to engage in the drama. If they were all back in the villa face to face he might have said something but he didn’t need his words twisted so he rose above it and knew the two would eventually along with the fans

To get over the breakup? He hung out a little later with his mates at CLUBS, visited rahim, spent more time with his sibs, read, and...reached out to...BLAKE

After almost two years with whoever (in my case it was henrik) she was freshly single herself & not really looking but knew Noah was trying to get underneath someone. A rebound? Since he couldn’t bring himself to do so with the girls around home

Blake knew what happened with hope. She along with mc & some fans saw it coming. She thought about it, really thought about it but decided that she wouldn’t be Noah’s rebound. She knew Noah just needed time and when he was ready, maybe she’d be around

Celeb crush: Gillian Anderson, Antonia Thomas, Tika Sumpter, Aja-Naomi King, Normani Kordei, & Sophie Turner

Who does Noah listen to? Hozier maybe? KWABS, Grace Carter, Seinabo Sey, Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, Half Moon Run, Aisha Badru, Lianne La Havas, Dana Williams, Allan Rayman, Rationale, etc...

Anthem = Sid Sriram, “It isn’t true”

#litg #litg2 #litg s2 #litg nope #litg noah #litg hope #litg moodboard #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #I saved him for last for a reason lmao #I’m done now with s2 wooo!#tried to make this brief like marisols lol #I’m home with a foggy head so I feel like I could have done more but???#ok bye #my editing job was trash this time ew #litg3 #litg s3

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zoefandom127 · 3 years

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Hands Up With Me Pt. 3

part 3!!! show some love to this on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

"Can you please look again?"

"I'm sorry Miss but we've looked everywhere."

They'd been at the airport for at least an hour, waiting at baggage claim. Most everyone has gathered their belongings and left but Julie couldn't leave until…

"But I swear I brought it with me on the plane," Julie murmured more to herself. In reality, it shouldn't have been that serious. She was 20 years old for goodness sake. But she'd had it since forever. The old fabric and loose stitching forever etched into her mind. It's one of the only living relics her mom had given her before she passed. The thought of it being gone isn't something she could fathom.

"Miss, we haven't seen a stuffed animal in any of our ports. If we hear anything, we'll let you know." With that, the baggage handler walked away leaving Julie in a mess.

Honestly, it's just a bear. An old, worn out bear that had been in her life for a long time. She never went anywhere without, always bringing with her on tours and keeping it backstage as a good luck charm before performances. Sometimes it would almost be as if her mom was there with her.

She knew mentally that her mom would always be with her no matter what. Somewhere in her mind or heart or whatever. But emotionally, that bear was the only other thing that made her feel close to her mom besides music. Mr. Harmelody (when she was younger she stumbled over her words and accidentally combined harmony and melody, somehow the name stuck) was there all the time. And she doesn't know why but she needs it with her.

"Come on, Julie, it's getting late." Luke laid a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her reverie.

"But…" Julie looked towards the boys and they were almost falling asleep on their feet. It had been a long flight and they still needed to wake up early the next morning for their interview with Carrie. Glancing at her phone, she winced when she saw it was a quarter ‘til one am. "Yeah, okay. Sorry for making you guys wait so long."

Reggie, who had been leaning on a concrete column, slowly waking at the sound of Julie's voice being directed at him, Alex, and Luke. "No worries, Jules." He gave a tired smile and kicked Alex, jolting him awake.

"Are we at the hotel yet?" Alex yawned.

"No, but the cab's outside." Luke grabbed his suitcase and started towards the exit with the boys dragging their feet behind. Julie was lagging behind the three of them sleepily as she tried to rub away the stinging behind her eyes. It's not that serious. Everything will be alright.

...

Everything was not alright.

Luke had been sitting with Julie for hours trying to come up with lyrics but the girl was dead on her feet. Ever since she lost Mr. Harmelody (he could imagine 3-year-old Julie saying that name in all her adorable cuteness) she'd been so reserved. Her answers would be 3 words or less. And she looked so distracted lately, always looking at her phone anxiously. Like she was waiting for it to ring and tell her the best news ever.

He knew the significance of the bear, how much it connected it to her mom. But he didn't think the loss of it would affect her this much. She was barely functioning what with all the singing and touring and late nights but she did it all with a smile on her face. Now she had a blank stare and barely said a word to anyone.

Yeah, he needed to fix this.

Once Julie left, Luke pulled out his phone and went straight to his text messages, clicking on the group chat with the boys.

Luke: guys we gotta help julie

Alexander: Yeah…

Reginald: Help her with what?

Alexander: Haven't you noticed that she's been kinda…

Luke: d e p r e s s e d

Alexander: ^^^

Reginald: Oh i thought she was just thinking. I mean thats what i look like when i think too hard.

Alexander: Nah you look more constipated

Luke: ANYWAY

Luke: we need to find Mr. Harmelody

Luke: any, ideas?

Reginald: Oooooo maybe we could bribe them

Alexander: With what? Your stupidity?

Reginald: *gasp* I take that very offensive

Alexander: You should

Alexander: Calling the airport would probably be the best option

Alexander: Though I think if they found it they would've called

Luke: right but maybe we just have to be more insistent

Alexander: Oh wow Luke, broadening your vocabulary lately?

Luke: haha

Luke: instead of calling we could like go in there and demand the bear

Luke: that could work right?

Alexander: Not if we want to be carried away by airport security

Reginald: Ngl thatd be kinda fun

Luke: idk guys but we have to find it. Julie is not okay

Reginald: Awww yeah for Jules we gotta find Mr. Harmelody

Reginald: ...I still think bribing them could work

Alexander: Wait maybe we could bribe them with a concert.

Alexander: If they search, we play

Luke: yeah that could work!

Luke: i'll call flynn so she can set it up. that girl is more intimidating than our actual manager

All the details would be figured out now but for now…

"We're coming for you, Mr. Harmelody."

...

Julie was bummed.

Well to be honest, she was bummed all the time now. It had been a little over a week since Mr. Harmelody has been gone. The fact that she was this upset over a stuffed animal made her feel like a child again. She was reminded of the time she lost Mr. Harmelody when she was 9 years old. Her mom had taken her and Carlos to the town fair and her mom warned her not to bring Mr. Harmelody but at the time she was at the age where her attachment to her belongings was fierce. Julie didn't have a good grip on her bear for the dropdown ride and Mr. Harmelody went flying from her hands and through the air.

As soon as her legs were on solid ground she went running in the general direction of where the bear flew, leaving her mom and Carlos to follow behind her as tears trailed down her face. After an hour of crying and searching, Rose found Mr. Harmelody lodged underneath a vendor cart for funnel cake.

Maybe she had been a little dramatic back then, especially when she cried "my life is ruined" in her mother's embrace. But all the memories and love engraved in that bear seemed to be lost without it with her.

Just as they seemed lost right now.

Walking through the hallway of her apartment building, Julie heard voices from behind her door.

"Shhh."

Furrowing her eyebrows, she placed her ear against the door gently so as not to alert the people inside the apartment of her presence.

"Okay, I'm gonna set up the camera."

"Reg, we don't need to record this."

"Are you kidding? The fans will eat this up. A touching JATP moment, if you will."

"I will not."

Hearing enough, Julie unlocked the door and wandered in.

"Julie!" Luke yelled, surprised.

There Alex, Luke, and Reggie stood looking as suspicious as ever.

Hesitantly, Julie continued her trek inside. "Hey…" She spoke wearily.

"Did we figure out how we're gonna present it to her?" Alex asked after a brief moment of silence as Julie stared at them skeptically with her arms crossed.

"Uh no. Not really." Reggie responded, still looking at Julie with a smile on his face.

"What's going on?"

The boys looked at each other as if making a small agreement as they nodded their heads slightly. Luke had both his hands behind his back, clearly holding something. He stepped up to her and proceeded to show her Mr. Harmelody in all of his stuffed glory.

Everything was the exact same. The same worn clothes and stitches that were begging to be replaced, albeit a little dirtier than before. Julie reached a hand to touch the fluffiness of the soft bear, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

"How did you…"

"Let's just say we're gonna be performing a private concert at the airport on Thursday." Luke smiled, proudly at her.

Julie barely even heard him. She quickly gathered the bear from Luke's hands and clutched tightly to her chest, closing her eyes at the familiar yet nonexistent embrace of Mr. Harmelody. She bent her legs until her knees were fully folded against her chest, pushing the bear closer against her as her arms tightened around it.

Tears streamed down her face freely and she almost didn't register the feeling of her boys kneeling around her. The proximity brought even more comfort.

"Thank you." Julie croaked out, her eyes still shut firmly.

"Anytime, Jules." Alex rubbed her back as she cried softly.

Once her cries ceased, Julie looked up with puffy eyes at each of the boys who surrounded her. "Mr. Harmelody says thank you too." She grinned brightly.

"Aw," Reggie spoke as he placed his arms around all three of them. "I can't wait to put this on Instagram."

...

The next day Julie got an Instagram notification that she was tagged in a post from Reggie. The caption read:

"JATP moments like this>>>"

Julie smiled down at her phone when she saw a picture of the four of them kneeled on the carpet floor of her apartment gathered in a warm hug. Obviously, he chose not to post the full video, wanting to keep some parts of their lives separate from their fanbase.

After taking a look through the comments, she finally decided to comment one of her own.

“Mr. Harmelody is back in commission!"

lukepatterson replied to your comment: "damn right!"

alexmercer replied to your comment: "The unofficial member of Julie and the Phantoms"

Julie grinned happily as she laid her phone on her coffee table. Mr. Harmelody may have been her source of comfort then but now? She had her boys.

hope yall enjoyed!

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #jatp fanfic #jatp family #fanfiction #jatp julie #jatp alex #jatp reggie #luke jatp

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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An Impromptu Reveal (Scyvie) - Haven

A/N - i have never submitted a work here before but decided to just type up this fic and submit it anyways because quarantine really has me bored. i have had this fic written out in my notebook since the reunion aired a year ago and just hadn’t considered actually posting it anywhere since it was completely self-indulgent as i wanted more canon-compliant scyvie and i decided to just write away lol. i kinda have an idea for another work following this but idk, guess i’ll judge based on the reaction this gets!

Scarlet knew this was going to happen. The minute she and Yvie stepped out of the car, she knew this day wasn’t going to end well, there was no way it could. She knew Yvie felt the same way, the queen had hardly spoken the entire drive here, to the WOW studio. The few words she did speak being noncommittal and agreeing, her kisses distracted and tense. Neither of them were looking forward to being face to face with the people who had said unnecessary, cruel words about them behind their backs. She could feel the tenseness radiation off of Yvie and she knew she was probably no different, fidgeting with her acrylics as they procrastinated entering the building. However, they would have to go in eventually and Scarlet knew this. With that thought in mind, she looked up at the taller queen, not bothering to hold back the smile at seeing Yvie’s look; a bathrobe, towel substituting a wig, green face paint to signify a face mask. A not so subtle ‘fuck you’ to the words a fellow queen had dribbled behind her back. If she also liked the look for more self-centred, possessive, green-themed reasons, then that was only for the two of them to know.

“The sooner we go in, the quicker this will be over and we can go home.” Scarlet felt she was trying to calm herself more than Yvie; the grin and nod from the younger queen told her it was appreciated anyway.

By the time they had finally entered the building and arrived in the filming room, almost all of the others were there, aside from Vanjie, Plastique and Ru himself. All eyes turned to them when they entered, the girls greeting the pair and complimenting their looks, asking them how they’d been. Brooke motioned at Yvie, patting the stool between her and A’keria. It made sense for Yvie to sit there, she was in the top four and that was where the top four sit. But, Scarlet couldn’t help the pang when Yvie moved forward to sit there, a brushing of their hands the only goodbye offered.

She had no reason to be upset, really. She had been the one to suggest keeping their relationship a secret until the hype for their season died down, not wanting people to assume she was with Yvie only because of her placement in the competition and not because of how wonderfully irresistible she was, didn’t want to have to explain that they had taken interest in each other after the filming of ‘Good God Girl, Get Out’, had hidden in the shadow of Brooke and Vanji and relished in the privacy of it, the lack of stress brought on by cameras following their every move. She didn’t want to be seen as a clout chaser.

And Yvie, who is as understanding and sweet as she is blunt and feisty, had readily agreed with reassurances on her tongue.

So Scarlet had no reason to feel how she was feeling when Brooke and Yvie gave each other cheek kisses, or when A’keria’s hand found its way to Yvie’s knee. If she was able to deal with what came with publicly dating another Ru Girl, the girls would know to back off. (Of course, in the back of her head she knew A’keria was with someone already and Brooke was likely still reeling from her and Vanjie’s breakup, but she could never help the paranoia.)

Her attention was broken by the sound of her name being called, looking to see Plastique had arrived. They chatted among themselves, but Scarlet couldn’t help her gaze drifting to Yvie every other second.

This continued for another five minutes, Vanjie arriving some time in the middle of it, before Ru arrived, donned in a clean pressed suit as per usual. The queens grew silent at the sound of the crew counting down, being given signal that the cameras were rolling.

Every girl plastered on a smile as Ru began the introduction, immediately diving in to stirring up drama again, opening up old wounds for the sake of ratings. It was when Ru directed his attention to Ra’jah that Scarlet tensed, watching the clips of the many fights she had been in, the child-like insults she spat in her interviews. She prayed that Ru would leave out of it, and would focus on her and Ra’jah’s conflicts instead. She knew how hurt Yvie was at seeing what Ra’jah had said about her, had been there to reassure her, to stop the walls she had spent so much time carefully taking down from building back up again. She’d have been damned if she allowed one queen’s - frankly pathetic and unoriginal - insults to erase all of the progress she had made with the queen she had loved. No ma’am.

She couldn’t stop the irritated breath she took as Ru, of course, directed all attention to Yvie. Nina looked at her questioningly, but Scarlet simply gave a smile, as if nothing had happened. Nina didn’t seem completely convinced, glancing between her and Yvie, but she dropped it as Yvie started talking and Scarlet’s attention snapped towards the younger queen, chest clenching at the strain in her voice. Yvie was near tears, eyes watery and throat working continuously to get the words out. She was still hurting from what had been said and it made Scarlet hurt, too.

That hurt quickly morphed into anger as Ra’jah started spouting bullshit, trying to excuse her actions and justify them instead of showing any actual remorse.

“That’s not an apology,” She cut her off with a scoff, frustration evident in her tone.

Yvie spoke up in agreement, a hand carefully wiping under her eye “It’s some bullshit!” Ra’jah seemed to be getting increasingly irritated by being cut off.

“Are you gonna let me speak?” She quipped, disguising her frustration behind a mask of politeness that really wasn’t that effective. Scarlet agreed readily, passive aggressively.

“Oh yeah, you can go ahead,” Seemingly satisfied, Ra’jah opened her mouth to speak again but Scarlet had one more thing to add “But you can direct it over here when you’re done with Yvie because I’ll be damned if I let you believe the way you talked about my boyfriend is acceptable.”

She hadn’t meant to add in the ‘boyfriend’ part.

The reaction was instantaneous, queens were shouting and Yvie was sinking down into her chair, hands coming up to cover her face. Scarlet didn’t move, in shock that the term had left her mouth. Eventually, Ru managed to regain control of the room, the queens quieting down. Yvie peeked out from behind her hands, gaze meeting Scarlet’s own. Scarlet mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ as Ru began to speak.

“When did this happen, ladies?”

Scarlet decided to answer for them, seeing as Yvie was yet to remove her hands from her face. She knew she wasn’t angry with her, just embarrassed, she hated all of the attention on her in any situation that she wasn’t performing.

“While filming.” She answered bluntly, to which she heard Vanjie speak up.

“How the hell is that a thing, bitch?! We didn’t see nothing!”

“It’s not our fault you and Brooke hogged the spotlight!” She joked, a moment of laughter ringing through the group for a moment. Scarlet laughed along for a moment before clearing her throat and carrying on. “No, uh, in all seriousness, we got, like, together at around episode four, I think? I would have liked it sooner but a certain somebody-” She looked at Yvie, who had emerged from hiding behind her hands and was sitting upright in her chair again, pointedly “Was very evasive to my continuous advances and flirting.” Her teasing was once again met with chuckles, said chuckles turning to full on laughter at Yvie’s indignant “Oh, fuck off!”

Ru spoke up after the laughter died down “Were you evasive, Yvie?”

Yvie huffed “I guess…”

“Why’s that? I’m guessing you returned the feelings Scarlet had for you.”

“Yeah, I did,” She agreed, eyes looking around the room as she tried to word her response “I liked her, too, but, like-” She laughed to herself “It was really hard for me to actually comprehend someone like her being into me. Like, why would someone as beautiful, confident and talented be into this?” She gestured to herself before bursting out with that laugh that Scarlet had grown to adore so much, but the fact that it wasn’t a genuine laugh and instead just something to try and minimise what she had just said, hurt Scarlet. She knew already why Yvie didn’t try to pursue the relationship, they knew every insecurity the other had at this point, but it still hurt to be reminded of just how lowly Yvie had privately thought herself to be. She was glad that was one of the things she’d been able to help her with.

Various sounds of shock and disagreement rang through the room and Scarlet wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab her hand, to hug her, hold her, support her. She knew how much Yvie disliked how awkward situations like these made her feel and she wanted nothing more than to help calm her down and offer as much comfort as she could, but she couldn’t from all the way across the room.

“Now, you know that’s not true, don’t you?” Ru seemed to have had a bit of a shock from Yvie’s words, not expecting that answer. Yvie looked contemplative for a moment.

“Well, I do now,” She agreed with a nod “Scarlet helped a lot with that.”

Scarlet almost cooed at the soft smile that graced her boyfriend’s features. “You’ve helped me a lot, too, baby.” She was sure her expression matched Yvie’s at this point.

“Y’all sappy as fuck, my Lord!” Vanjie’s voice rang out, causing everyone to laugh. “Me and Brooke weren’t never like that! Y’all can’t say shit to us no more!” Every word just sent the girls into deeper hysterics before Ru reigned everyone in once again.

“Now, as much of a surprise this revelation was, we’re all very happy for you girls, aren’t we, ladies?”

Yvie and Scarlet grinned at each other from across the room as Ru was met with a chorus of agreement.

Clicks of heels and loud goodbyes, the sound of jewellery clinking and ringtones blaring. Scarlet grabbed a hold of Yvie’s bony wrist as they walked out, lightly tugging her to the side, into the bathroom.

“If you needed to piss you could have just said so,” Yvie snickered “Didn’t need to just drag me in here.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you better be, bitch! I could have tripped and fucked my shit up!”

“No, Yvie,” Scarlet cut in seriously, stopping the taller queen in her tracks. “I’m sorry. For telling everyone about us like that. I was the one who didn’t want anyone to know in the first place and I just did that without consulting you, that wasn’t okay-”

“That’s what you’re apologising for?” Yvie snorted with an eyeroll “I actually couldn’t care less, although it’s nice to have people know.” She admitted, in an almost shy way that made Scarlet almost vibrate with adoration. It tensed up when her expression became uncertain, guarded.

“Did you want people to know?” Scarlet took a moment to consider. She never wanted to lie to Yvie, knew the queen would never forgive her if she lied to soothe her right now.

“At first when I said it, I got really scared,” She admitted, Yvie reaching over to hold her hand. She continued, the taller queen running a thumb in smooth, gentle movements. “You know why I didn’t want people to know, but when Ra’jah spoke the way she did to you, it just slipped out. I was so focused on defending you that I forgot I was supposed to be keeping it secret. All I wanted was for her to know that you were my boyfriend and I wasn’t gonna let her pull the shit she was trying to pull.”

Yvie cooed, cupping Scarlet’s face between her hands “Cutie.”

“And I also wanted Brooke to stop feeling you up.” The sound and sight of Yvie breaking out into a laughing fit, a genuine one this time, eased away any doubt Scarlet may have had about what had happened.

#rpdr fanfiction #yvie oddly #scarlet envy #scyvie #fluff #canon compliant #an impromptu reveal #haven #concrit welcome #submission #s11 #on set fic

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quantumarvel · 5 years

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@oh-snap-bucky and I like to scream fic concepts at each other a lot. I, somehow, convinced her to let me share them with yall. Here’s a recent one.

It all started with this post (please read the tags)

Courtney: can we talk about this cause wow

Sam: you thought up an entire fic

Sam: we stan

Sam: sitting under a tree and rEADING

Courtney: Sammy help me out here cause I may just roll with this

Courtney: how do they meet?

Sam: Park? Library? Cafe?

Courtney: library

Courtney: he looks vaguely homeless and he’s BRILLIANT and studying something to do with poetry

Sam: English major? I think yes

Courtney: and she’s studying at the library and has to keep pushing her glasses back up her nose and she’s tapping her pencil on her chin

Courtney: and he can’t help but SAY SOMETHING cause she’s pretty ya know but also cause she’s currently reading the only copy of the book he needs

Courtney: and she’s like ha good luck cause this poet guy doesn’t make any sense

Courtney: and of course Bucky understands it

Courtney: but poetry isn’t her major, she just has to read it for like this one class she has to take so she can get her teaching degree

Courtney: he’s all knowledgeable in poetry and junk and she just… doesn’t get it. Like at all. And he thinks its adorable. And she’s all “I’m gonna be a history teacher idk why i even need this.”

Courtney: and being the flirt he is, he offers to tutor her

Courtney: and she knows EXACTLY what he’s doing

Courtney: says yes anyway

Courtney: so they start meeting up on Thursdays at the library

Sam: I support her saying yes anyway

Sam: bc we get that

Sam: take your chance girl

Courtney: they spend a couple of hours talking about how this poet dude was annoying and pretentious and a douche and he’s like, “just imagine all this being said but the whitest, richest, most uptight dude you can think of” and she starts to Get It but also thinking of it like that makes it SO FUNNY

Sam: “oh so he’s just being a spoiled brat?”

Sam: okay so for how long do they meet at the library?

Courtney: oh this lasts the rest of their first semester. They met in like September and they get together every Thursday and she invited him to a Halloween party some of her friends are throwing and they accidentally show up in complimenting costumes (probably different Breakfast Club characters cause I’m dumb) and he complains about having to go home for Thanksgiving (she still doesn’t know what kind of a family she comes from) and they text the whole break and when they get back they hang out so much more than just on Thursdays and by the time Christmas rolls around, they get each other the sweetest gifts right before they leave for break and standing in the train station (they’re both taking trains home but going different directions), he realizes how long he’s gonna be without her and they’re both getting kinda choked up, more than you would if you had to leave a friend for a nearly month and they’re making all these promises to call and text and “maybe I’ll write you?” and after like the nineteenth hug,

Courtney: he realizes that the girl he’s been halfway in love with since the fall maybe likes him back? the girl he’s been opening his jacket to tucking her against him to shield her from the “stupidly cold” wind. the girl that shares her candy corn and bring him hot chocolate when the temperature drops below 40. the girl who reads poetry books that he recommends cause he just KNOWS that if he finds the right style, she’ll fall in love with it. the girl that he spends so much time with that he knows which colors mean what on her color coded notes. the girl that he helped bandage up when she was too busy staring at a dog to notice the raised pavement and when she tripped, he felt it in his chest. the girl that tells him that she knows he deserves better than the hurt he carries in his eyes. the girl that doesn’t know anything about his past, but knows him. the girl he feels so lucky to be around. that girl. she’s looking at him right now like it hurts her like it does him to part ways. and maybe he realizes then that he has a chance? so he musters up just enough courage to press a kiss to her forehead and walk her to her train. as he watches her disappear down the tracks, he decided that when he sees her again after the new year, he’ll take her to a museum or a planetarium or a park or something, and he’ll ask her to take a chance on him.

Courtney: (he doesn’t get the chance because when she asks for his address to send him a Christmas card, she really drives up to Brooklyn from Boston just to give him a New Years kiss. his parents aren’t home (to his relief) but Becca absolutely adores her)

Sam: ummmmmm

Sam: that’s gorgeous

Sam: and so so so heart wrenching

Sam: but SHE DRIVES TO BOSTON

Courtney: it’s only like 200 miles yeah

Sam: only

Sam: for a kiss

Sam: that’s a lot

Sam: for a FIRST kiss at that

Courtney: okay I should clarify

Sam: yes please do

Courtney: she get there at like 7:30pm and he answers the door and he’s so happy to see her but he’s like “?? why are you here?” and she’s blushing and “well I wanted to talk to you... in private...” which makes Bucky look over at Becca who’s 15 and standing at the other end of the foyer. “It’s my house too.” And he just rolls his eyes and takes his girl outside cause that’s not the fight he wants to have rn. anyway so they go walk through the garden and it’s all so pretty cause the Christmas lights are still up and the stars are out. “what do you have to talk to me about that’s so urgent that you couldn’t wait until next week and had to drive 200 miles instead of just calling me?” he’s all smiles. “I, um... I wanted to tell you that I uh... I think I like you? Like a lot? No, I know I do. And I have, for a while. And I can’t it out of my head, when you kissed my forehead at the station, and I KNOW that sounds ridiculous and childish but I can’t stop thinking about it and how maybe you like me too and yeah sure that could’ve waited but I needed to KNOW cause to be perfectly honest, I’d really like to be your New Years kiss this year, which again, dumb and childish but I do and so I didn’t really think, I just decided to take a chance. I’m sure I’m making a complete fool of myself right now too, like that idiot poet we read about in September but you told me something once about stepping out of your comfort zone and taking chances and so that’s what I’m doing, I’m taking your advice, so you really have no one else to blame here but yourself and-“ he finally just puts a hand over her mouth cause he can tell she’s working herself up into a frenzy. When she finally looks up at him, he’s smiling. He takes his hand away, “you came a few hours early for a New Years kiss” And for some reason that embarrasses her more than anything else has. “Ugh I know I just, I just couldn’t wait any more. I paced around my parents house for three hours and spent another two in this diner once I got to town. Think I would’ve gone mad if I waited any longer.” He laughs and tells her “well it’s...” a quick glance at his watch “7:59pm right now. It’s midnight somewhere.” And even though he takes his time, and she knows what he’s about to do, the kiss still surprises her.

Sam: I’m screaming

Sam: “It’s midnight somewhere”

Sam: I can imagine Becca totally seeing all this happen from the window

Sam: keeping quiet bc “that was kinda sweet I guess”

Sam: okay okay okay even if you don’t write this part i gotta know

Sam: what happens after New Years?

Courtney: Oh after New Years, they’re disgusting. STUPIDLY in love and constant heart eyes and “darling/baby/doll/sweetheart/honey” and they’re ALWAYS TOUCHING. like, hugging all the time and holding hands and tucking hair behind her ear and linking pinkies and he always has an arm around her shoulder and it’s all adorable and innocent and TOOTH ACHINGLY SWEET. she reads to him and plays with his hair (braids it when it gets long enough) and laughs at all his jokes and just adores him. he cooks her dinner a lot and carries her books and takes pictures of her and gives so many sweet kisses on her forehead, temple, nose, chin and (finally) mouth and just adores her.

Courtney: he picks her flowers in the spring when they have a picnic by a pond and she ties them together into a crown and puts it on him. that night, he takes one and presses it into the back of the book she gave him for his birthday

Sam: I love this so much

Sam: he wears the flower crown

Sam: and rocks it

Courtney: she meets his parents at his birthday party. they insist on throwing this big party every year and this is the first year since he was like 10 that he actually enjoys it. she wears this pretty floral dress and curls her hair and just about knocks the breath out of him when he opens the door. she’s nervous and he squeezes her hand as they walk up to them. all she really remembers is Bucky introducing them and the way her mom smiles and says “so you’re the one that got him to finally shave that hobo scruff” and thing is, she wanted him to keep it cause she loved the expression on his face when he saw how it turned her skin red but he insisted on shaving it for a job interview (that his parents didn’t know about) but Bucky saves her from clarifying by saying that he’s going to take her to get something to drink. they drink punch that turns their mouths red and stay huddled together giggling in the corner (Bucky was doing his best impression of Mr. Harris from his dads company) until his mother comes and insists that he comes and mingles with company people cause in her mind, Bucky will be joining his father soon. Bucky tells his girl to meet him at the pond behind the house in half an hour before being dragged off

Sam: the look of “help me” as he’s walking away but like his ma is talking so much and his gal tells him to pay attention and he just winks before giving her this ridiculously gorgeous grin

Sam: her and becca chat a little more and she introuced her to their grandmother bc grandma Barnes couldn’t wait another second more

Courtney: I love Grandma Barnes

Sam: boo me too

Sam: literally her and his gal get on like a hose on fire and she completely forgets to meet him and he appears after waiting five minutes

Sam: his hands rest on her shoulders and he looks between them “see you two seem to be having a ball”

“oh we are”

“I was just telling this sweetheart about your 11th birthday party, do you remember that one James?”

Courtney: “There was a petting zoo incident.”

#this is embarrassing #but here it is #bucky barnes #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes imagine #i hate that #marvel #40s bucky #college bucky #Sebastian Stan #concepts #mine #courtney talks

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