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#i love all of the monsters u content i reblog
james-p-sullivan · 9 months
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but you always reblog so much monsters university stuff? you don’t like it? /not in a genuine manner but more like im making fun of you
listen, my guy, if you were stranded in a desert while dying of thirst and someone offers you a dr pepper, your reaction wouldn’t be to sneer and tell them you prefer coke
you get me?
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biillys · 1 year
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Today I had to unfollow a blog for saying that Billy was abusive and a monster and that any fan who likes him is fucked up
ughhhhhhhhhhh u see that opinion thrown around so much and honestly it's tired! it's boring! it's not even like? true? it's just something the loud and annoying tumblr and twitter stannies say to justify their refusal to acknowledge or deal anything billy related 🙄
i promise u, you will not miss them on ur dash!!!!
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ncteez · 1 year
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The perks of being that guy (l.jh.)
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Taking note of the strangers you see day to day isn’t something you’d normally do. The only reason today is different is because the guy who made small talk as he rang you up for your intimate items was the same guy who showed up catering for your family reunion. 
or the one where jihoon is a dildo salesman, a caterer, a self-titled mechanic, and also your ride home. he is not an expert in any of his jobs, but he sure is an expert in wit and, well, other things. 
ao3 | m.list | reblog to give woozi a lil kiss 
minors dni!! 
WORDCOUNT― 14k
PAIRING― jihoon x afab reader 
CONTENT― strangers to lovers like immediately, long fluffy hair jihoon!!!!,  you buy a monster sized dildo, blatant talking of masturbation and toys, smut, cliche blooming an attachment to someone after (1) fuckening. 
NOTE― a present for u all because i hit a milestone of 5000 followers!! this was only supposed to be like 5k words but i guess i was in love with him this whole time. anyway, this is not proof read bc i think u guys know by now that im not about that life, so if you find a typo– don’t tell me i will delete everything out of embarrassment. 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― it’s kind of fluffy im so sorry i just have feelings for him, average cock size jihoon!!!! he is very much a service top, making out, hand holding, caressing, grinding, finger fucking, titty worship,  unprotected sex (just wrap it guys, im too lazy to write a condom scene), sweet talking as a form of dirty talk, missionary bc i refuse to not write smut where he wants to look directly at you, back scratches (sexual) ~
~
Never have you been put in the position to make small talk about the sex toys you place on a counter to purchase. Then again, you guess it’s part of the job description that most people ignore or aren’t privy to actually doing. 
Never have you been informed of the wide variety of lubricants, additional toy-cleaners, or the bigger and smaller alternatives to your chosen toy. You don’t show discomfort though, because it’s not uncomfortable. Sex is normal, masturbation is more normal, and the man in front of you appears to be normal too.
“There’s twelve different color variants if you prefer something less fleshy.” The man says, standing at the counter with some sort of a permanent pout on his lips. 
“I’m fine with my choice, if you could just ring me up now I can get out of your hair.” You respond, glancing at the time on your phone and wondering how you got stuck with the only employee who actually does his job here.
“Are you sure you don’t want any lubricant…?” The man adds, gazing at the size of your toy and then looking you up and down as if you clearly wouldn’t be able to handle it without said lube purchase. 
The man with no name tag appears to be blissfully unaware of his invasiveness with that question as you tilt your head with a raised brow. Shocked at the very question, it’s actually quite laughable that he’s so monotone with the offensive comment. You imagine he’s done this for so long, he must be a manager trying to get the day over with, going through the steps in a bored mood with little to no regard as to how he must sound to strangers buying their first or twentieth dildo. 
With your assumption that he doesn’t exactly care about the level of wet your vagina is when you use this toy, you respond.
“I think I know what I can take and I already have lube, but thanks.”
He nods, not even sparing you much of a glance before giving you a total and bagging your item.
Now, despite Jihoon’s lack of interest toward the purchase of toys he finds it comical that he’s grown numb to the very fact that he knows everyone in this town’s kinks after they step out of the shop’s door. Someone’s gotta do this job and keep those secrets and he likes to think he fits the bill perfectly. 
Lively as he may be outside of this shop, each job comes with a personality and this one calls for one of disinterest in your product but interest in the sale. He’s not one to lie to himself though, many times a pretty girl has marched in and bought toys far bigger than any man and he does tend to let his mind wander about it from time to time. When he first started this job, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, he found it hard to navigate a single sale without a flush of rosy tints crossing his cheeks and ears. Now, he’s become a veteran at keeping his dick locked in place if he were to feel some type of way about a purchase and the one purchasing. 
Shy as he was when he started, it’s all lost now as he handles dicks and dongs, pocket pussies and anal plugs, even whips and chains. 
Shy. That’s definitely a word and surprisingly one that can describe him when he’s not on schedule within these walls of alien dicks and lime flavored lube to match the grotesque green color. At his other job, because he works two, he takes the praise of being the charming yet, timid man who shows up with pans of food for events. 
The guests seem to love him, and many times during weddings and company parties he has been offered phone numbers or asked for one simply because he appears to be that of a friendly face with a kind sense of being. 
It’s a stark contrast of jobs, and somehow he’s managed to dodge knowing many of the people coming into his night job to shop for ways to fuck themselves. The rare time it had happened, he was thankful to have another person in the shop to ring them up. Keeping up with two jobs is hard, and keeping up with two personalities is even harder.
~
You hadn't thought of that guy from the sex shop even once until he showed his face at your family reunion. 
He noticed you before you managed to realize it was him though. Stealing looks in your direction as you chat with little cousins and elder aunts and uncles, mostly to double check in his brain if you’re really the girl who showed up and nonchalantly bought the newest dildo in stock. The fleshy colored one with rotating beads and a g-spot stimulator button. Upon your eyes meeting his though, he could tell it was you simply by your furrowed brow as you recognized him. 
Jihoon couldn’t help but smirk. He knew that eventually someone at an event would recognize him as their local sex-shop manager, he’s actually shocked it doesn’t happen more often. At least it’s you though, a woman who looks near his age and clearly has a very healthy relationship with her sexuality. So much so that you weren’t shy or nervous in buying the toy from him, because it’s very true that many people feel too vulnerable when buying those kinds of items. 
His smirk doesn’t go unnoticed by you before you look away from him and focus your attention back to your family. And by the time he’s prepared the food and is standing aside to help explain  or describe what ingredients the dishes have, you’re walking up with your empty plate and an awkward glance. 
He follows you down the line, seemingly more interested in you than anyone else. You could argue it’s just an attempt to make you feel embarrassed though.
“Do I know you from somewhere?” You ask, a knowing look telling him that you’re already very aware of that ‘somewhere’ you know him from. 
His pursed lips and snide hidden laugh at you is one thing, but the way he whispers to you over a pan of potato casserole is another. 
“I think you know who I am.” He says, crossing his arms as he leans back again with a flicker of a grin. 
You leave it at that, looking him in the eye curiously and for some reason, smiling back at the strange second encounter with a man who appears to have a name tag now.
“Thanks, Jihoon. See you around.” 
You’re heading away from the table of food and now toward your saved spot at the table of family that you missed the most. Your same-age cousins, the ones you grew up with and made mud pies for your parents with during summer evenings. 
“What was that about?” One of them leans over to ask, glancing to the man who is still overseeing the table of food and maintaining perfect temperatures. 
“Huh? He was just telling me what was in the potatoes.” 
She takes your answer as truth without issue, and the conversation falls away and into something else. College life, job life, family life. 
~
Okay so you’re trying to hear yourself out here. Are you somehow curious and interested in speaking with Jihoon? Yeah. Do you know why? Also yes. For one, he just sold you a fucking interesting sex toy last weekend in the most uncomfortable way possible, and now he’s here at your family reunion to remind you of what you do in your apartment when you’re alone. 
His personality seemed different this time too. He wasn’t monotone, he was snide with you about knowing who you are. He probably thinks it’s funny that he ended up at your family reunion over any other event.
So yeah, maybe you find yourself going up to the table for seconds even though you’re no longer hungry. Maybe you definitely wait until no one else is at the table and he appears to be tidying up the space and wiping up spills. 
“How many jobs do you have?” You ask in a sarcastic tone when you reach him, the table between the two of you creating a comfortable distance to poke and prod.
He jumps only slightly at your presence because he didn’t notice you walking up. Then he’s smiling again, looking at you up and down. 
“Plenty. How much lube do you have left?” He answers before shooting back his own question and getting right to the point. 
You freeze in shock at his question, reminding yourself that his monotone voice from the late dildo purchase is no more and he now comes across as vibrant and charming to you. You check him out for a moment, taking mental notes of what may not be to like about him. Unfortunately, you’re not finding much to take note of. 
“I can’t imagine you have much left, that thing was a fucking monster.” He pauses to cover his mouth, forgetting that he’s supposed to be timid and gentle during his day job. He’s not supposed to be himself.
You find yourself laughing at his panic though, leaning over the table and holding out your empty plate. Mostly just to get in closer to him. 
“Why are you so interested in my ‘fucking monster”’ dildos anyway?” You narrow your eyes. 
He pauses, his panic easing after taking note of your easy personality and banter towards him. 
“I think anyone would be interested, with all things considered.” He checks you out again. “Correction, they should be worried.” 
“You’re different from before,” you comment, both of you now blatantly staring down each other. “I like this version of you more.” 
Something inside of him feels giddy at that. Not to be cliche but he wonders if this is what it’s like to instantly have a crush on someone. Again, he’s not one to lie to himself. You’re pretty and you appear to be confident. Confident enough to discuss this at your own family reunion at least.
“Maybe I’ll see you again sometime then.” He puts a hand forward, inviting you to shake it but you simply stare down at it. 
“Yeah, maybe you will.” You smile, slapping his hand as if you’re low fiving him. 
Honestly, he might actually see you within the next day or two because he was kind of right to ask about how much lube you have left, but it’s not like you’d answer that truthfully if at all. You might be running out after just two uses. He was right again about it being a fucking monster, because well, yeah. Maybe you’ll pop in and shop for bulk lube instead of rejecting his up-sale. 
~
Unfortunately for you, upon the reunion coming to an end, you get into your car and of course it doesn’t start. Your head slamming into the steering wheel with a sigh that’s probably loud enough for the entire town to hear.
The last thing you need is your father driving you home, because he will lecture you about your car and how it’s got to be some fault of your own for it to not start. And you know, yeah maybe it was your fault. Why were your lights turned on during a sunny sunday afternoon? Fuck if you know. Why were they left on for the entire nine hours you spent at your parent’s house? You refuse to ask yourself questions.
Just as you prepare to head back inside, taking the walk of shame ten minutes after saying your goodbyes, a savior appears.
That savior is none other than Jihoon walking up with his stiff button down shirt partially unbuttoned, hair now disheveled as he must have ruffled it up after the day of work. He watched you from his catering van for just a few minutes before finally getting out to offer his expertise. 
“The battery is dead.” He smiles, slapping both palms on your hood and leaning to look at you through the windshield. 
“Smart man, can you un-dead my battery before my dad comes out?”
Jihoon shakes his head apologetically. 
“I already checked the van for the cables, could be a write up on my part for not checking before leaving. We are supposed to have all sorts of shit to prevent breakdowns on a job. Not today though, apparently.” He scratches the back of his neck as he walks to your opened car door. 
“If you can hang tight for like ten minutes I can swing by after dropping the van off.”
Your eyes plead with him. You’d prefer this, yes. If he’s willing to help, you’re willing to accept.
“You sure I’m too out of the way for you to do that?”
He shakes his head nonchalantly, waving you off as he leans into your car to pull your keys out of the ignition. He smells like food, obviously he does, but there’s a scent of something else on him that’s far more attractive. The dull scent of cologne that matches him all too well. 
“Don’t try to turn it on anymore if you don’t want your dad coming out.” He laughs. “I’m sure he would help you but if you’d rather I help you, I am more than happy to do it.”
He’s teasing. His little crush pushes him to want to help you, but he’s gonna play it off as casually as possible. 
“I’ll hang out here. My dad would lecture the fuck out of me.”
Jihoon nods, backing away and heading back to his van to fulfill his offer.
On another note, you’re shocked that your father didn’t hear the commotion, and even more shocked that he didn’t step outside once since the reunion ended. He must have been tired, and you know him, he sleeps like a rock even if he hits the sack at 7pm without even cleaning up the yard. 
~
“Oh, it’s dead dead.” Jihoon looks at you apologetically, peeking his head out from the side of your hood and through your window. 
“Define dead dead.” You comment, taking your keys out of the ignition with a huff. 
“Like, you need a new battery. This one is done for.”
You sigh loudly, knowing that now you’ll have to go ask your parents for a ride home. Know that your dad is going to add more to his lectures with each day your car is sitting in their driveway. This is so fucking annoying. At least you work from home though, so it’s not like you’re gonna lose your job over this or anything. 
Jihoon unhooks the cables and turns off his car, then stands there and watches you for a moment. You look frustrated and annoyed, and it’s very much like him to offer more help. Of course it is. 
“Would it be too forward to ask if you need a ride home?” 
You look at him confused, tilting your head and studying his body language much like before. You’re not one to decline someone making your life a little bit easier, and he is interesting to talk to. You nod slowly, then pause.
“You’ve worked all day, don’t waste your off-time helping me out.”
“I’m already wasting my off time on you though, might as well let me drive you home too?”
You stare at him. 
“Okay.”
The awkward silence sets in shortly after you seat yourself in his car. You fill that silence with small sarcastic comments about his car though, and soon it becomes easy to be in the space with him.
“Where did this sticker come from?” You ask, poking your finger into a sticker with its edges rolled from the summer heat, probably.
“Ex girlfriend, i couldn’t get it off without it leaving a residue so I’m just letting the sun do its job and melt it off.”
“Oh, harsh.” You laugh, wanting to prod further. “Why’d you break up?”
Jihoon pauses, you can tell by the way his foot lets up from the gas momentarily that he wasn’t expecting you to ask that. Then again, he’s said some weird shit to you too, so you figure it’s not an end-all question. 
“Was that too forward to ask?” 
“Not at all, just wasn’t expecting it,” He shakes his head with a small smile, nearly reaching his hand from the wheel to pat your leg in reassurance. He holds back, wondering why the fuck that urge felt so normal for him to do. “It’s been like a year, so I’m over it and stuff. She just thought I worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with her.”
“Ouch, even harsher.” You smile in reassurance to him, also feeling it normal to want to do that for some reason. “Her loss, I mean, discounted dildos and food? Huge loss.”
He laughs at your comments, briefly looking over at you once he stops at a red light. Your eyes are shining with life, with interest even. At that moment, he feels something between the two of you. Which is quite strange considering this is your first time officially meeting him outside of his working hours. He can’t help the way his face softens though, it happens against his will, honestly, it does. 
“You’re kind of cute,” You blurt, breaking eye contact with him and shifting in your seat. “and fun to hang out with.” 
“Hang out?” He laughs at you, eyes now adjusting back to the road and lowering his speed just to have a bit more time with you. “This is hardly a hang-out, but if you’re interested, I’m more than willing to check my schedule to see when I’m free next.”
You feel confidence raise up in your chest, bubbling to be free in the form of a question likely too bold to actually consider.
“You’re free right now…” You comment quietly, glancing at him. 
“Hm?” He asks, tightening his grip on the steering wheel and feeling your eyes on him. He heard you, but he wouldn’t mind hearing you repeat it.
“I said, you’re free right now.” You repeat, this time with more confidence. “Would it be too forward to ask if –”
“Nothing is too forward to ask, I literally sold you a dildo.” 
You pause in shock, all thoughts leaving your head.
“Damn, alright,” You laugh, feeling kind of warm inside at how his forwardness matches your own. “If you’re free right now, we could hang out right now.” 
How lucky for both of you. He’s actually not catering tomorrow and only has to be at work at the good ol’ sex shop in the evening. 
“Alright,” He nods, glancing over to you. “Kind of fucked up we are hanging out after I met your entire family and still haven’t gotten a name from you yet though, wouldn’t you think?” 
Oh fuck, he’s right. 
“I’m sure you heard the kids yelling it all day. Don’t be dramatic.”
He laughs, already in love with the idea of spending more time with you. 
“Where to then, y/n?” 
~
If your parents were to ask why you’re walking through your apartment building with the caterer following behind you, you’d have no excuse. Then again, as an adult, you don’t think you need one. It’s strange despite how open and casual you are with making friends though, because you never just invite strangers to your place for friendship. Not at least without hanging out a few times. 
You guess it’s not super awkward because it’s true that he already knows things about you that your family doesn’t. Such as, the things you penetrate yourself with when you’re alone. It’s a major ice breaker, and something that makes the friendship with him come easy even after barely talking to the guy.
The few words you have shared have been easy and fun, so it’s only natural that if your instinct is to want to be around him a little longer, you’d invite him in right? You weren’t really expecting him to accept your answer to his question. 
“Where to then?” 
You thought for a moment when he asked that. You don’t go to clubs or bars anymore, most places would have been closing within the hour, and it’s not like you didn’t eat to peak fullness during the family reunion so having a late dinner with him was out of the question too. You answered him so easily, and he accepted in a way that seemed just as natural to him. 
“We could just hang out at my place, I’ve got plenty of streaming services, a gaming system, and wine.”
“Sounds good.” 
It was so easy to become friends with him, and now with him following you up to your apartment, the typical awkwardness that should come with this type of thing isn’t swarming your mind at all. He’s even making small talk about the building itself after parking in your parking spot. 
“This building is way nicer than mine, you got a door code and everything just to get in.”
“Wasn’t always like this. Being a single woman in a city like this calls for safety measures though.”
A little box in his head checks out. He didn’t even have to ask if you’re single, because he already assumed you were with the way you so easily invited him over. 
By the time you get to your door with him, he’s polite when he walks in and takes off his shoes. Polite in the way he looks around and studies your space, even polite in the way he walks into the living room and invites himself onto your couch and grabs your remote. 
“I was going to say make yourself comfortable but–”
“Well, would you prefer I sit on your floor?” He shoots back with a sarcastic tone in his voice. “Would you prefer I start digging through your cabinets for snacks? Would you prefer–”
“You’re so much more talkative when I’m not trying to buy something from you.” You comment with a laugh, dipping into the kitchen for two glasses and that cheap bottle of wine. 
“Speaking of, do you actually use that thing and like it? I mean, I see some weird purchases but that specific one is super popular with the fetish groups.”
For the first time, you feel heat rise to your cheeks. You should have known that the sex toy would be a point of conversation, considering the first time you ever met was buying it. 
“Yes, I use it. I’m surprised you find it shocking considering it’s literally your job to know what people like in terms of getting off.”
He smiles at that, because you’re damn right he knows. Most of the time he would prefer not to know, but he always did wonder if, on the off chance, he ended up hooking up with a customer he’d have some prior knowledge of how they like it based on toys alone. 
“You know, no one buys toys on a Monday at nine in the morning.” 
“I buy toys at nine in the morning on a Monday,” You chuckle, carrying the two glasses and wine into the living room and plopping down next to him. “Why does that matter? I’m sure you make your quotas even on the slow days considering how hard you were trying to up-sell me.”
He shrugs as he watches you pour him a glass. 
“It’s easy to up-sell when you know people’s kinks after a few purchases. I do that to everyone just to gauge what they need so if they come back I can make more offers.”
“A true salesman.” You laugh with a pitied voice. “What would you say my kink is?”
He studies you, looking you up and down without shame and thinking hard about your single purchase. 
“Well, considering that specific item is, again, usually looked at by a specific type of person or couple, I’d say–”
“Wrong.” You interrupt before he even tries to make a guess. “I don’t have a kink, I just have a sex drive.”
You take a sip at his silence of being beaten to the punch, and then he takes his own thoughtful sip. 
“Okay then, What do you think my kink is?” He asks slyly, cup still against his lips as he sips again. 
“Wha–” You narrow your eyes. “Hell if I know, you probably don’t even have sex after being in a hyper-sexualized space like that for hours on end.”
“Wrong.” He pokes his tongue into his cheek and looks away from you with another casual chuckle.
“Are you telling me you have a pocket pussy or like, a buttplug or something?”
“Three pocket pussies, actually.”
You don’t know why you’re shocked. For some reason his sex toys becoming the focus makes you feel more shy than your own being the focus. 
“I bet you named them.”
“Pocket 1, Butthole 1, and Jessica.”
“Jessca?!” 
He nods in a matter-of-fact tone with a proud smile. 
You feel comfortable around him, never having a friend who openly talks to you about these things without any type of awkwardness. It’s the fact that he’s a man too. Usually they think with their dicks and he seems to have no qualms in admitting that it’s something he may do from time to time too. 
You imagine he needs this type of personality to work such a job though, being casual about sex can be so difficult for your average joe because for some reason, it is embarrassing. It’s hard to talk about even to sex-shop employees. You like to think he’s probably someone who makes others feel comfortable about their sexual habits though, because you feel comfortable. 
“I’m lying by the way.” He cuts through your thoughts, “I only have two.” 
You nod energetically. 
“Jesse and James.” 
“Oh my god, how did you know that?” 
You narrow your eyes again. He’s gotta be a fucking nerd to get the reference, even if everyone knows what pokemon is. 
“So the pussy is Jesse, and the asshole is James.” 
He nods slowly, acting surprised before smirking yet again. 
“Actually, I only have one but I’ve experimented with other things that come through the door. Might as well, right?”
“And yet, you’re shocked about my single dildo purchase without knowing of my other items of interest? I could have just been trying something new too, y’know.”
Another sip of wine, and another glance away from him.
“No one buys that as a first time experience.” He shoots back.
“Okay, enough about my dildo, I actually have a question about something you might have in stock but I’ve kind of been too embarrassed to ask until now.”
He nods, his personality shifting only slightly into that as the manager of the sex-shop.
“Shoot.”
“Do you guys have like,” you pause, unsure of why you’re even trying to ask. Again, it’s not like masturbation is embarrassing, nor is the purchasing of toys. Asking for a specific item is a bit too intimate to you though, so you usually just buy those things online. “Okay hear me out.”
“Tentacles? Furry buttplugs with tails attached? Bondage rope? Paddles?”
“No…” You pause at his spewing of different types of toys. “I know you have all of that.”
He pauses, unsure of what could be so embarrassing. 
“Do you guys have sex dolls for women? You know, like, just a dude torso with a normal length and girth?”
Jihoon fucking snorts. How mundane. Unfortunately for you though, Nope. 
“Nah, the owner tries to cater more towards men and fetish stuff. We’ve got women sex dolls but he’s never really even mentioned just like…a dildo attached to some sort of form that is shaped like a person.”
You shrug. 
“Guess sticking it to the wall is all I can do for now then. But like,” You pause, realizing that you’re actually going into detail at this point, which might be a little uncomfortable for him? Maybe? “It’s really annoying to have it sticking to the floor, and you’re like, riding it and it just pops off and stabs your thigh slipping out mid-orgasm.”
He snorts again, this time unable to stop laughing at the image of whatever orgasm instilled the frustration in you to even mention that happening. He tries to stifle his laughter with the last sip of his wine before choking it down and pushing his glass at you for more. 
“Noted,” He snorts, nodding his head and almost hiding his face from you. “I’ll tell the boss we need male sex dolls so the women don’t get thigh fucked mid-orgasm.”
You glare. 
“Dude, no, because it actually hurt.”
“Maybe you should slow down next time so the full force of your…” he pauses, realizing how sexual the image in his head is of you right now. 
“Okay, wait. I’m sorry, is this conversation too much right now?” You ask, looking him up and down and giving him a new glass of wine. “You’re blushing.”
He tries to play it off. 
“As if you could make me blush.” He laughs at you, downing half of his glass in one go. “To make up for our lack of product though, and if you don’t tell anyone, I’ll give you a discount on your next purchase just for embarrassing yourself like that just now.”
“Oh, I was supposed to be embarrassed?” You counter, laughing along with him as you actually start to look at him.
You noticed that he was handsome before. Normally employees of shops like those are nonchalant normal people, or strange old men who try to impose their kinks onto you. Jihoon though. Jihoon. Hmm, how to explain him?
With his messy hair that covers his eyes every time he whips his head toward you in a laugh, with his wide smile and pretty eyes. He may not be the tallest man you’ve ever looked at like this but damn is he thick. Like his thighs. Damn, the thighs. Even him now  compared to him when he was catering for your family, he’s so much more handsome.
His shoulders are broad, and he’s just… You don’t even know how to explain to yourself the attraction you have toward him at this moment. Handsome is one thing, and you would have continued calling him that if it weren’t for the fact that he’s laughing with you on your couch about a ruined orgasm. 
“You know, Jihoon,” You start, looking into your glass and swirling the liquid inside, then you look up again and make eye contact. “I’m really not usually this forward but like,”
His brain stops for a moment at the serious tone in your voice, his expression softens and you can tell he’s listening. 
“I know masturbation and stuff is normal, and like, you see and talk about these things all the time but I never really talk about it to other people, they always get weird about it.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. I can’t say this is the most normal hang out I've ever had. Usually we talk about our favorite movies or books or something.”
You wave him off. 
“Yeah, that’s a good point. We could talk about our favorite movies but I find myself, um–” You stop for a second. 
“Is talking about it making you realize that it’s uncomfortable?” 
“No, the opposite actually.” You laugh, now actually feeling embarrassed. “I keep thinking about you mentioning the other things you’ve bought and experimented with.”
“Oh? You’re curious?” He laughs, now feeling a bit shy himself because he’s pretty sure that’s you asking him to put images in your head. “I mean I could go into detail but it actually might be too-telling right now.”
You nod, unsure of why you even suggested.
“Maybe next time?” You change the subject with a smile, one that does seem slightly disappointed. 
“There’s a next time?” He smiles, setting his glass down on your table and shifting toward you.
“I don’t see why not? I’m having fun, plus you offered me a discount.”
He nods, looking around the room and checking the time. 
“I should probably head out then? We’ve both had a long day.” 
You nod back to him, feeling a bit sad. 
“When are you free next?” You ask, grabbing your phone in a way that seems a bit too excited. “Can you give me your number?”
He obliges, exchanging phone numbers and promising to contact you with his next free day or night to hang out. 
Just as he goes to leave though, for some reason both of you feel as though the satisfaction of this hang out wasn’t reaching full potential. 
“Hey, um,” He stops before he puts his shoes back on. “Would it be too forward to say I’m not tired and wouldn’t mind–”
“Staying for a bit longer?” You finish his sentence for him, patting the couch as if that was also on your mind.
He doesn’t even respond, and instead makes his way back onto the couch where the cushion is still warm, unable to help that fluttering feeling in his chest.
~
It's almost midnight by the time he offers to leave again, and yet, he stays at your clear disappointment of the offer. Another hour later, the two of you are sitting contently and pretending to watch some shitty tv show in comfortable silence.
“We should say something.” He blurts, mid episode.
“What do you mean?”
He turns toward you. 
“We should talk about this.” He motions at the space between the two of you. 
You’re silent while you try to build up the confidence to meet him half-way again. 
“You can correct me if you’re not interested but I actually really would like it if you kissed me or something.” He adds as you continue to process what he seems to be getting at.
You’re taken aback by his forwardness, and instantly you knew he didn’t communicate this earlier for your own sake. Thankfully, you’ve tried to make it easy for him to read you and he ate it up like his favorite book. The content feeling between the two of you was buzzing up to this point. Very loudly in your brain where you were thinking of how to kiss him before the night is up. Even as just a “thank you” if he were to turn away from it. 
“Oh yeah?” You ask, tilting your head and seeing him scoot closer. “Kiss you, or something?”
He nods his head, looking at you without much issue and searching for a reaction. 
“Are you interested in me like that, in any way?” He asks, looking for confirmation.
“Oh, most definitely.”
The smile that spreads across his face is one that you can argue will be unforgettable. It’s an expression you hope to bring to every person in your life, one that seems to express nothing but relief, excitement, and maybe even a hint of bashfulness.
“You thought I'd invite you inside without being interested?” You smile at him, feeling a little bit fuzzy in the head at the admittance. 
“I thought you were just being nice, or like, just interested in friendship,” He rambles on, stopping himself short to give more context to that statement. “I mean, it would be fine if this was all for friendship and I'm happy with that too but I can admit to coming into your apartment with maybe, uh, a small crush.” 
“I can admit to inviting you in with a small crush, maybe.” 
“Maybe.”
“Are we being too forward?” You ask, emphasizing the repetitive way that word seems to appear. “Even though you’re in my apartment at one in the morning and both of us are giving any and every excuse to keep you here?”
He smiles this time in a way that appears to be self-soothing, and you can imagine you are too. It’s always nerve-wracking to walk on eggshells with another person, the threat of wondering if you'll fall alone or fall with them into a new version of partnership. 
You don’t think about the lack of knowing him past a purchase, a quick conversation at a family reunion, or the past several hours he’s huddled up with you on this couch. You simply don’t think it’s strange at this point. After all, you’ve met people online and invited them over without much more than a name, age, and quick conversation about what they want sexually. How is this worse? How is this strange? 
“You’re right. Maybe we should stop being so polite when the reality of it is that I’ve been imagining what you’ve done with that toy since the day you bought it.” 
Okay, maybe that was too forward but all is lost now as your image of him changes drastically within the mere seconds it took him to say that, not in a bad way either. Again, of course he’s comfortable admitting it, the dude stares at dicks and holes all day. But now he’s staring at you, and talking directly to you.
Your silence makes him shift a bit, shaking his head apologetically. 
“Found the boundary, got it.” He shames himself with a timid voice, looking away from you and back to the tv with a hint of embarrassment. “I’m not lying though.” He adds after a few more minutes of your silence.
“Not much of a boundary if I admit that I was blatantly asking you earlier what you’ve done to experiment with your toys.”
“Aha! So I was right in thinking you were straight up asking for mind-porn of me?!” He feels instantly comfortable again, turning his entire body toward you as he folds up one of his legs to sit on with a little bounce. 
“Maybe, but what do you mean you’ve been imagining since I bought it? You barely made eye contact with me that day.”
“Oh, I was checking you out the whole time you shopped. Imagine my face when I knew exactly what toy you were reaching for.”
You shove him by the shoulder with a laugh, realizing that this is the first bodily contact you’ve ever had with him, but he actually leans into your shove rather than out of it. Meaning, he barely budges. 
“If I looked you in the eye at the register, you would have thought I was some pervert.” 
“You are a pervert. You said it had, what? Twelve other colors?” 
He shrugs with a pained smile at how cringe he must have sounded to you. 
“You seemed more like a sparkly pink girl rather than a normal flesh tone girl. Then again, this was before I knew you were looking for a literal male sex doll for probably super normal pretend-sex.”
You shove him again, your laugh coming out more forced now at the way he jokes with you. Once again, he doesn’t budge. In fact, he’s leaning in closer. 
“Now hold on, you didn’t mention anything about one having glitter in it.” You joke, wiggling your brows. 
“You trying to fuck a man or a magic unicorn?” He laughs yet again, all of it coming out more forced as the two of you drag out information just to hear the dirty words in a voice you’re only just realizing you like far too much. 
“A man.” You respond, this time not laughing, looking him dead in the eye and trying to pretend you don’t notice how close the two of you have gotten. “Why else would I go for more human skin tones?”
“Fuck if I know, I haven’t met a single man who has vibration settings or rolling beads though.” 
You snort. 
“Shame…but also, why do you think I’m on the hunt for the most mundane sex toy a woman can buy now? The rolling beads almost had me passing out.” 
“Was it too much?” He asks seriously, hoping to god it was. 
“A little bit, yeah.”
“I can imagine you want something to feel real after that.”
For some reason, his words hit you straight in the gut. Your stomach drops as your attraction heightens, and suddenly you’re just staring at him as you respond. 
“I can imagine so, yeah.” 
He stares back, almost no space between the two of you as the banter only brought you both mentally and physically as close as possible without becoming twisted together. 
“When was the last time you felt something real?” He asks against his better judgment, wondering if you’re on the same page with him. Wondering if all this banter was leading to somewhere or nowhere. Because he could have sworn admitting to wanting you to kiss him, and you’ve yet to do so. 
“A month and a half.” You respond dryly, suddenly needing something to drink. 
He glances down at your neck when you swallow around your words, then stares at your lips before breathing in a sigh. One that was supposed to relieve the tension in this moment, but only building it more because he knows you see him do it. He knows you see him wet his bottom lip too.
“Are you going to kiss me, or are you planning to wait another month and a half to get what you want?” He continues on his streak of boldness as if to distract you from noticing the sexual tension, feeling his heart skip beats at the intensity of the moment. 
“It’s not like we have anything better to do.” You start, leaning in and still looking straight into his eyes.
“Are you suggesting that I’m boring?” He narrows his eyes as he feels your breath against his lips, still sweet from the wine that did close to nothing in terms of altering the brain. The two of you are totally planted into reality, if anything, a little drunk on the other. 
“Not at all.” You adjust your words from earlier, there, just hovering over his lips. “I’m just saying that nothing is more interesting than kissing you right now.”
Oh, the fluttering in his belly is so fucking intense right now. No eighteen inch alien tentacle dildo on a shelf could scare him as much as you do at this moment. Intimidatingly outspoken and aware of your wants and needs. His eyelashes flutter just like his stomach does, closing them slowly until he can feel your lips on his. 
Your stomach, on the other hand, has been doing flips since the first instance he admitted to wanting to stay. All of the tension, all of the comfortable silence, all of the glances, the smiles, the laughing, all of it was leading up to this. The moment your lips hit his, they feel much like you imagined they would. 
Soft, plush, warm. The thin lipped grins he’s given you all fucking day now laying flat against your own lips, no longer grinning, now just wanting. And he’s gentle, so fucking gentle with it. Never has a man asked you to kiss him. Usually they close the gap to try and swoon you. It appears you’re both being swooned by each other at the moment though, and his soft kiss only pulls back momentarily before he leans forward, closer.
The third touch, save for you shoving him, his lips on yours, and now…his hand on your cheek. Caressing so gently as he deepens the kiss with ease. The heat rises up and through your skin at the simple touch. You think he must feel it with the way he chuckles into the kiss and starts peppering them against your lips over and over again. A split second between each lay of his lips, and then another solid kiss. One where you finally start moving yours too.
It’s slow and languid in the way he kisses you like this, barely even darting his tongue out but focusing more on your cheek against his palm. He can feel your jaw move as you kiss and can’t help but love what’s happening, and when you’re the one to lick against his lower lip, he falls in so easily. 
That little movement from you, that little feeling of your tongue experimentally prodding his lips open releases the last bit of tension holding him back. He pulls back to look at you and you’re not backing down even slightly. 
“Does this feel more real for you?” He asks in a snide way, swiping your bottom lip with his thumb of the glistening saliva before tilting his head with a smile. 
You very nearly roll your eyes at him for that. And by very nearly, you do roll your eyes at him and can’t help but smile yet again. 
“I’ll take that as a yes,” He says, palm still against your cheek, tips of his fingers toying with the baby hairs on your hair-line. “because I can imagine that the toy couldn’t ki-”
You shoot forward to kiss him again, only just realizing how awkward the positioning is considering neither of you were probably expecting more than a first kiss. 
He laughs into it, knowing you were silencing him of something that could arguably be the most cringe-worthy thing he can say after kissing you. His laughs start to stifle though, as you press forward and somehow manage to have his back against the seat of the couch and you planting yourself on top of him. 
“Can you shut up about the toy now? I thought we got past that,” You argue as you pull back, your cheek already missing the feeling of his palm against it. “You can’t just act like this and then say some dumb shit like that.”
You’re joking, he knows it. If anything, you’re complimenting him right now and he eats it the fuck up as he stares up at you. 
“Was I wrong though? Can it do this for you?” 
You take a moment to look at him, realizing that this is the man who you just kissed. With his hair a mess and fanned out onto the cushions, strands falling in front of his eyes, but mostly swept back and exposing the entirety of his forehead to you. 
You reach forward and brush a strand from his eyes. 
“Actually, say what you want.” You correct yourself and manage to ignore his question.
“Why the sudden change of heart?” He half-chuckles as he brings his hands up to set against your waist, hoping you don’t pull out of the intimate position the two of you are in. 
“I don’t know, I was just looking at you and thought it was stupid for me to try to argue with you right now.”
“Why’s that?” He prods for more compliments, feeling himself twitch at the way you look hovering over him. 
“Are you trying to argue right now?” You tilt your head, adjusting yourself now to sit directly on his thighs and lay forward, both hands cushioning your chin on his chest as you straddle him. 
“Would it be so wrong to admit that you’re fun when you argue with me?” 
You can feel him breathe under you, nearly rocking you further and further into whatever headspace Jihoon seems to put you in. It’s too comfortable, and it almost feels as though you’ve been with him for years now. You barely know him, yet you’re lying on him as if you got married two years ago. Insane how this works. How the heart works, or the brain, or whatever drives the arousal you’re feeling right now. 
“Will you argue if I ask to show you my room?” You start, lifting back up and away from his chest, now scooting forward a bit. You don’t dare sit on it yet, but you very much would like to if he were to suggest not moving at all from this couch. “My bed.”
He stutters and quickly quiets his excited words, replacing his voice with a nod and a sharp inhale.
“Hah! Telling me to argue and instantly buckling the second I mention my bed.” You laugh, pulling yourself up and sauntering out of his view.
He stares at the ceiling for a moment, in a daze over just how much he likes you. He wonders, would you be shocked to know he hasn’t had sex in much longer compared to you? One and a half months for you? That’s nothing to him. He’s been besties with his right hand for at least six months by now. Trust him when he says that it truly was difficult to not turn into a hormonal idiot when he saw you in the shop that day. 
Finally, he shakes himself out of the spaced out horny brain staring at your ceiling and stands to his feet. He’s quick to adjust the bulge in his jeans, uncomfortably shaking his leg before looking toward where you walked off to.
“Um.” He stops realizing you were watching him, looking directly at the spot he just adjusted. “I mean,” He tries to start again, adjusting again as he feels it slowly move out from its tucked place. “Listen,”
“No, I get it.” You say, snickering at his embarrassment as if he somehow doesn’t know you were suggesting at least some foreplay by moving to your room.
“Of course you do,” He drops his head, now blatantly shoving his hands down his pants to adjust before looking back up and taking a step forward. “You’re the one who sat on me like that.”
“Please, I didn’t even sit on it.” 
“Didn’t need to.” He shrugs, now coming up to you and waiting for you to guide him through your space and into your room. 
Once the two of you get there, him not even attempting to hide that he is very aroused at this moment, you’re very quick to turn to face him once he comes inside. 
“We are on the same page, right?” You ask, looking at his lips and the way they still look so kissable. 
“As far as I know, with all things considered.” He responds, looking down at himself and how pathetic he must seem in getting so aroused by nothing more than a kiss and a position change. 
You smile, reaching for his hand and watching him tumble forward to you. Now standing mere inches in front of you. 
“Do you want to see it?” You ask, a cheeky smirk on your face as you turn away from him and run to your bedside table. 
He had no idea what the fuck you were referring to until he saw it. There, in all of its non-human glory. Jihoon tics his tongue, curiously straining his neck out to peek at what else is in your drawer as he walks closer. 
You make no attempt to close the drawer and instead pull out another one, and another one, another one.
“If you keep pulling out toys I’ll start to think you were lying in saying you wanted to feel something more, um–”
“Real?” You say, turning from your presented line-up of toys to look at him. 
He nods, gazing over the toys, four dildos all far bigger than he is. 
“I can admit that men can’t vibrate, nor do they have those little rotating beats but,” You chuckle at the conversation, scooping the toys up quicker than you laid them out and tossing them back into the drawer. “They’re not warm, or attached to someone that can kiss me. They’re also not witty.”
You study his expression.
“They don’t make me laugh before getting me off.” You continue, wondering if you may actually be too forward about this now. 
He’s rendered a bit speechless, which is rare for him in any given situation. He always has a quick response, not at this moment though as he looks at you. He wonders if you pity that obvious act of self-doubt upon seeing your toys. 
“They’re not attached to you.” You add, this time stifling your chuckle, because it’s a pretty funny conversation if you look at it from the outside but you can imagine he must be feeling some type of way to be so quiet.
He thinks hard about it, knowing damn well where this was leading and pushing for it himself. Hearing you now though, so confidently say these things, all doubt erases from his mind. 
“Before we do anything,” he starts, his shaky voice coming out more confident as he continues. “Is this just a hook-up to you or are you feeling the way I’m feeling right now?”
You look at him with a question in your eyes. He was kind of shocked that you didn’t finish for him this time, actually. 
“Like, you know if we do this, I’m going to be calling to take you out to dinner at some point unless you say you don’t want me to, right?”
You hadn’t thought of anything past him since you’ve gotten here. You didn’t think about anything more than hanging out with him, and now, kissing him, and maybe you know, feeling him. For some reason though, despite the lack of sex you’ve had lately, him saying that only arouses you more. It’s been so long since you’ve intended to sleep with someone and have them want to stick around after. Some of the people you’ve been with didn’t even ask for your number. Is this what adult relationships are actually like? 
“As in, you’d want to see where this goes in the–”
“Future, yes. I’m not just going to fuck you and pretend I didn’t when I see you again.”
Shockingly, that’s a first for you and you like the feeling it gives you. Plus, him implying that he’s about to, or very willing to, fuck you sends a wave of fondness through you.
“Alright. Let’s not call it a hook up then.” You say, the playful arousal from before stifling out at the idea of being intimate with someone who is making you aware that you’ll see him again, now being replaced with…feelings? Arousal with feelings?
“What should we call it?” 
“A date?” You say back immediately, sitting on your bed and finally closing your bedside drawer. 
“Oh, you fuck on the first date?” 
You laugh at how quickly his wit comes back, especially with the way he crowds up and stands in front of you. 
“With you? I guess I do.” You smile wide for him, feeling the tension bleed away and replace itself again with the arousal of him standing and looking down at you. 
“How did we not meet earlier?” He asks, leaning down a bit as if to kiss you.
“Fuck if I know, I bought all of those toys at your shop.”
“Ah, right. Nine in the morning on a Monday. I don’t usually work mornings.”
“Guess I got lucky last time then.”
“I guess you did.” He adds like a period to a sentence, finally kissing you again and making no effort to hide the fact that he’s attempting to lay you down much like you did to him before. 
You let him, falling back on your bed and feeling him nudge your legs to spread. Again, you let him, feeling your heart begin to race with excitement in the way he kisses you now versus how he did it earlier. 
There is clear intent behind it this time, as he positions himself between your legs. Your heart only races faster when one of his hands slides down your shoulder and he tangles his fingers with yours. It’s all very intimate to be coming from a man you officially met today, but you really do feel lucky. 
Lucky that he works two jobs, lucky that your family throws lame ass reunions every five years, lucky that you had your lights on during a sunny sunday afternoon, lucky that your battery died. 
It’s so normal already to smile into the kiss and feel giddy inside. Never have you smiled into a kiss save for laughing when a leg cramp happens mid-fuck. You can’t believe how much you’ve smiled and laughed today, and you can’t believe he’s making you react this way just by holding your fucking hand and kissing you this way. 
He laughs when you react though, probably feeling at ease on your bed with you under him, squeezing his fingers tightly each time he licks against your tongue. And when he pulls back to breathe, you just look at him and the way his fringe hangs. He looks so pretty at this angle, even when he’s moving slowly, even when his other hand remains planted beside your head to hold his weight from falling onto you. 
It’s not been since highschool that you’ve laid with someone simply making out, fully clothed, giggling. You’re unsure of how he’s pulled this out of you, because usually when a man is on top of you, you’re already trying to get his clothes off. But this? This is something that you want to last. You want it to be slower than a usual fuck, because you like when he’s here with you. Whether on top of you or not, there was a reason he’s stayed this late already and you already know it wasn’t solely to fuck you.
“Did you expect to be on top of me someday?” You ask between kisses, and he takes that as an invitation to laugh against your neck and tickle your cheek with his messy hair. 
“Expect it? No,” He starts, leaving a kiss just under your ear before lowering his lips to the collar of your shirt and kissing there too. “Hoped I could, though.” 
Your heart swells up at that. You realized he must have meant it when he admitted to having a small crush on you. Only now do you realize that curiosity that brought you back up to the food-table during the reunion may have been the start of a crush on your end too. 
You don’t say anything more after that and instead fall into the feeling of his lips kissing alone your collar. For some reason the sensation of his lips pushing the fabric out of the way so he can kiss new exposed skin makes you feel incredibly wanted. Maybe it’s the pace, or maybe it’s just because you really really like him, and want him to want you. 
“Do you want to take it off?” You ask after a few more of his kisses, wanting to control yourself but also very much wanting to feel his lips everywhere else too. 
You can feel him nod in the form of his hair tickling your cheek more. But he doesn’t move from that spot at first, continuing to kiss you the same way and in the same places. You let him, up until he finally sighs and pulls back. 
Looking at him now, even compared to a few moments ago, he looks so fucking pretty. His eyes are now soft, you can almost see the lines from where he’s smiled for you all day at the creases of them. His lips, looking more kissable than they did the past two times you thought they looked as kissable as they ever could. His eyebrows, showing no signs of tension.
You’re staring and you’re not intending to hide it. Even as he lifts your shirt from your waist and starts to pull it up. You barely budge as you stare, and stare, until you can’t because he’s trying to pull your shirt over you head.
“If you’d stop staring for two seconds maybe I could get this off of you, yeah?” He laughs, finally pulling it off when you arch your back and then prop yourself up slightly with your hands. “There.”
He sighs when he says it, going silent and almost frozen at the image of your nearly-naked torso. You watch him stare now, a smirk forming all too quickly.
“Now look who’s staring.” You chuckle, noting that his eyes still don’t leave the newly exposed skin or the fabric of your bra.
“Yeah, I am.” He admits, wetting his lower lip again and then flicking his eyes to you. “Am I not supposed to?”
Suddenly, that eye contact makes you feel shy. You’re more naked than he is, despite mostly being dressed still.
“You know,” you start, avoiding his intense eye contact just to get the words out. “If we just take all of our clothes off now, it would probably be easier.”
He lets out a breathy chuckle at you but nods, already lifting his shirt off and going for his zipper and button.
“There’s no rush, but if you’d prefer we do,” He scoots back and away from you, standing to his feet to shove his jeans down his legs. “I don’t mind.”
You watch him undress and lose all ability to act on your own for a solid thirty seconds before you finally start panic-shimming the rest of your clothing off. Save for bra and panties, and he, now standing there clad in only a pair of form-fitting briefs. 
You’re glad he isn’t as shy as you at this moment though, or rather, he appears to be entirely infatuated with your body and doesn’t look away from it for even a moment to feel embarrassed himself at standing on the side of your bed nearly nude. 
“No rush?” You ask, when he finally trails his eyes up to you and takes his position between your legs from earlier. Except now, you can see his biceps and the way they flex, now, you can feel the immense amount of warmth radiating from him. Now, his hair is even more of a mess.
“I can try,” He says quietly, balancing on on hand and lowering his lips to yours once more, trying to ignore how dangerously close his length is to bumping against your pussy. “No promises now, though.”
You laugh, wondering where he lost his self control within that short span of time where you got undressed. He cuts your laugh off mid-way though, now kissing you again and moving his hand up and down your waist. It tickles and causes goosebumps to form all over you, to the point that you can’t help but sigh into his kiss. 
He continues, still holding his hips back from grinding against you, kissing you as good as he can until trailing back to your neck again. 
It’s not until you run your fingers through his hair that he sighs himself. That relief and heavenly feeling of your fingers scraping the back of his neck— Such a simple touch can literally send him straight to hell at this point and he wouldn’t care a single bit as long as it’s from you and your hands. 
He lowers himself more, just to prevent his hips from intruding into this moment only to lock his lips onto the mound of your breast, other hand lowering so he can lay down and push your bra to the side a bit. 
The cold air that hits your nipple is short-lived when you feel him immediately suck it into his mouth with a deep breath. You continue to scratch through his hair, now using your other hand to nearly hug his head in place as you feel the sensations shoot straight between your legs. Each flick of his tongue sends signals to your brain to go! go! go! But much like him, you hold back, even though your legs still manage to squeeze his body between yours in an attempt to find the friction he isn’t yet offering. 
He continues this for a few minutes, and then works his fingers under the bra on the other side of your chest before switching his lips to that one. Perking them up so perfectly that he can graze his teeth against either nipple and feel your legs react to it. All of it is turning him on beyond belief, it’s dangerously attractive to him now too, to know that you have several toys that could have already gotten you off by now, but you choose this. You choose his lips playing with your tits, and your legs doing an amazing job of showing him your lack of control. 
His lips continue their work, up until he’s trailing further and further down, making your sighs hitch higher and higher in pitch. He kisses your ribs, just above your belly button, then just below your belly button before leaning back.
There, he looks directly at the seat of your panties and smiles at the wet spot there. He plants a kiss right there before climbing back up and caressing your cheek again. 
“You’re wet.” He comments in a huskier voice than he normally uses toward you, balancing yet again on his other arm.
Before you can actually respond, his hand on your cheek disappears and is instantly cupping your entire pussy.
You hitch out a sigh and look at him with a smile.
“Obviously.” You say back, rolling your eyes playfully before unintentionally bucking your hips into the pressure his palm offers against your clit. 
“Cute too.” He adds, lifting his palm to run his fingers up the wet spot on your panties before pressing in slightly. 
You can feel them stick to you uncomfortably, but it still feels so fucking good. Any amount of touching from him feels good though. 
“And you’re teasing me.” You argue, looking away from his playful smirk as he plays with the wet fabric against his fingers. 
“Just ask. I’m not teasing you if you're not telling me what you want.” 
You shoot your eyes back to him, a mixture of curiosity and shock in your eyes. It’s true though, you are a little shocked. Most men really just do what they want, and so do you. Never have you been asked what you want. 
Your eyes trail down as far as they can, what his hand is doing is mostly hidden between your legs but you focus entirely on the way his arms flex as his fingers travel up and down your panties. 
“You want me to ask?” You question, hips bucking up again unintentionally. 
“Not so much ask, but like, tell me what you want.”
He nods to himself as he says it, licking his bottom lip and pressing the fabric of your panties in yet again. 
It’s not that he doesn’t want to do what he wants right now though, definitely not. He just figures you know your body far better than he does, and he’d rather not make assumptions and embarrass himself when you could just ask him or better, guide him. Who is he to assume you want his fingers right now anyway?
“I’ve never…” You start, swallowing your words as your brain goes back to focusing on his fingers momentarily. “I haven’t–”
He knows what you’re trying to say, so he attempts to make it a bit easier for you. 
“Do you want me to pull your panties to the side?” 
You sigh with a nod, looking at him and allowing him to guide you through telling him what you want.
“Do you want me to touch you?” 
You nod again, pushing your head back against the mattress out of frustration that you, for some reason, can’t find the confidence to just tell him. 
He listens to your body though, more than your weak nods and frustrated sighs. The way your legs shake when he asks, the way you react to the air hitting your folds when he does push your panties to the side. He can’t bare to look down yet though, because he knows for a fact that if he were to pull back and look at you in full, he’d no longer be asking you what you want. He’d be embarrassing for sure. 
You can feel his fingers now sliding through your folds though, bare pussy out and on display but not yet being looked at, only being felt. And arguably, all you can do right now is feel too, as he leans forward to kiss you in this silent moment. 
His fingers continue to explore as he kisses you, collecting all of your arousal and swirling it around your clit before sliding back down and prodding at your entrance. You make a sound at that, kissing his a little harder than before when he lets out a hum.
“Hm?” He hums against your lips, and you nod to him. 
There, he dips a finger in only slightly. Your arms reach around his neck at the feeling and pull him closer to you. To the point that you can feel him struggle to angle his hands right to slide in deeper, but you pay no mind to it. At least not until you kiss the fucking daylights out of him.
That, you do. Kissing him with full-force and making a show of how turned on you are for him. He feels it though, with or without your kiss bruising him. The wetness on the tip of his finger only becomes wetter, and when you release your grip around his neck, he still doesn’t leave the kiss.
He goes back to gently kissing you, focusing more on your fingers than what his tongue is doing. He slides that same finger in all the way now, feeling your walls clench almost instantly and beg for more. Chuckling at the feeling, he fucks his finger into you experimentally before pulling them out and adjusting two fingers at your entrance. 
“Hm?” He hums again, and you nod again.
So, two fingers slide in and you’re releasing a soft moan against his lips. Already out of breath from focusing so hard on how he feels when he touches you. Your lips fall slack just to catch that lost breath, and he doesn’t argue, going right back to that spot on your neck to kiss as he picks up rhythm with his fingers. Effectively fucking you open with them. 
You hate to say you didn’t pay much attention to his hands until now. Having not noticed how deep just those two digits reach inside of you, and good fucking lord does he know how to use them too. Curling them up at just the right moment to have you legs shaking. 
Never have your legs fucking shook for a man. This only happens with the g-spot stimulating toys. God, you open your eyes to look at the ceiling in thought, and it has you wondering if he even knows he’s doing it. 
“Keep doing that–” you urge him, and he hums at you finally at least trying to tell him what you want. 
He finally lifts from your neck to look at you, now placing his weight back on that one free arm that had been toying with the ends of your hair this entire time, and he’s fucking floored. Even if he pictured you before with those toys, none of those images came close to this. And it’s just his fingers? No where near the size of your toys, no where near as expensive, or warm…or alive.
Oh. You want to feel someone who wants you. 
“I’ll do anything you want.” He says, doing exactly as you asked except a little faster now, still hitting that spot inside of you so perfectly that you’re moaning out now. 
He tunes in entirely to the sounds you’re making, the faces you’re making, and the way your pussy clenches around just those two fingers. He is aching at this point, pulling back from hovering over you to sit now between your legs, fingers still keeping pace, and sliding his other hand down his briefs. 
You don’t notice at first, too enthralled by the feeling of his curling fingers inside of you, but when you do–
“God,” You moan, rolling your eyes at the image of him out of breath, both hands working to pleasure both of you. “Come here.”
He listens, already pulling his hand away from himself but keeping his fingers in you, in a daze as he takes his original position of hovering over you.
“No, I mean, come here.” You say, looking at him as you reach between your bodies and pull his fingers out of you, then reach to grab between his legs. 
He immediately moans at the feeling, his hips pressing harshly into your grip with a whine as he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes just to feel it. 
“Take it out?” You continue, slowly becoming more and more comfortable telling him what you want. 
Just watching him do what you ask is insanely hot. The way he pulls his cock out seems so natural to him, you suddenly imagine what he must look like all alone while getting himself off. Thankfully though, he’s not all alone right now, he’s with you, and you intend to be getting him off. 
You look at him, between his legs, and then back at him once more before grabbing it again and practically pulling his hips to you by the cock. He groans all the same at it though, and only holds his breath when he feels your legs spread further and essentially press his cock between your folds and hold it there from the head. 
“Grind.” You say, still holding your hand in place to keep the pressure against him, which also puts pressure against your clit when he does grind up.
You both shiver at it, and he still looks down at you, fucking smiling through his sighs of relief regarding the new sensations you’re offering. 
“You’re actually fucking perfect.” He compliments, fucking his hips up and coating his cock with the dripping of your core. 
Out of everything he’s ever said to you up to this point, out of everything he’s fucking done to you, that’s the one thing that has you spiralling into a world of fucking fire. It makes you feel so warm, especially with the head of his cock bumping your clit. He has barely gotten any friction and he is still calling you perfect? Sign you the fuck up, forever, actually. 
“Don’t be stupid,” You start, waving him off between moans and gripping his shoulders.
He grinds up harder at your words though, now propping himself up on his elbows and grabbing your face on both sides. 
“You, don’t be stupid.” He says clearly, pointing his thrusts directly at your clit and moaning only slightly as he looks at you.
You swear, at that moment he could see your entire life. Everything about you. Everything you love and hate. The way he doesn’t look through you but at you? 
“You’re actually insane.” You laugh, crumbling to his pointed gaze and thrusts, your legs automatically shooting up to wrap around his waist. 
He seems proud of being called insane right now. Mostly because he can come up with at least fifty reasons as to why this is anything but insanity, but he remains quiet at the feeling of your legs squeezing around him. 
Such a girl was looking for mundane sex toys to have normal sex with? Lucky you, this is his fucking favorite. Plain ‘ol missionary? Check. Legs squeezing around him, almost pulling him in? Check. Looking directly at the face of the person he wants to make feel good? Check. 
You barely notice his lack of control by this point, the closeness alone feels like you’re already having sex but you realize you’re entirely empty still. This is fine though, until it’s not.
When does it not become fine? When his confident moans turn to soft sighs, and you notice his arms shaking a bit to hold his weight above you, and when his eyes go dead staring at you. You can tell he’s focused entirely on the feeling between the two of you, doing nothing more than aggressive yet…weak grinds? 
“Jihoon,” You say, slightly out of breath. 
“Hm?” He responds half-heartedly, releasing his weight from one elbow and dropping his head between your neck and shoulder.
“Fuck me.”
It’s like you can feel the switch in his head go from losing sanity to gaining it back in an instant at those words. He felt like he was pleasuring himself against you for so long, with so much friction between your hand and his abdomen consistently pressing into it. He could have come from this, if you wanted him to anyway. It would have been an intense orgasm after working up for so long, but now? 
He doesn’t even say anything, he doesn’t even move his head from between your neck and shoulder. Instead, you feel him expertly adjust his hips and press in without much trouble. He finds exactly where he belongs so fucking fast that is has you spinning and clenching immediately. 
“Fuck,” He drones out with a long sigh, slowly sinking his cock into you. “You’re throbbing.” 
You chuckle, because yeah. You definitely are, but so is he. You can feel his thick length spreading you open inch by inch, until he’s fully planted into and twitching. Then he doesn’t move again.
“This alone could do me in,” He chuckles against your neck, breathing in a deep sigh and attaching his teeth to your lower ear lobe. “Honestly, I can't believe I didn’t already come just from having my fingers in you.”
You’re both flattered and shocked by this comment, before you can even think to respond he’s talking again.
“You’re so tight, so wet.” He soothes himself through the feeling of your walls clenching around him, not yet wanting to move and just wanting to feel what your body does to him on its own. “It’s so hard not to move right now.
“Please,” You manage to get out, struggling to focus on just one thing with the way he’s talking and the way he sits so perfectly inside of you. “Please, move.”
And he does, instantly. Pulling out and sliding back in so easily that the slapping sound is muted entirely by the matching moan you both release. You can feel his voice vibrating against your neck, and you can imagine he might be able to feel yours through your literal pussy, because it feels like every sound, touch, and sensation is sent straight there for him to enjoy. 
It doesn’t stop either. Both of you shamelessly moaning at the feeling of him snapping his hips into you at perfect speed, with a perfect voice, and a perfect hand moving up to grip your chest. 
He’s practically blanketing you with his body, your legs holding him in this spot, his hair still finding a way to tickle your cheek with each thrust in. It’s so fucking much. It’s so good, and so…comfortable.
You’re comfortable. So comfortable you don’t even feel the need to rub your clit, you don’t want to chase the orgasm, you just want to feel him. And apparently, so does he. 
When he lifts his head, kissing the bottom of your chin and then your lower lip, still the two of you are groaning at each deep thrust in, but he manages to talk through it, somehow.
“Don’t stop,” he says, despite you barely doing anything. “Keep doing that.” He continues as his thrusts pick up pace. 
Only now do you realize that you were doing something. Without noticing, your hands were nearly tearing his back apart. Not literally, but your nails may have dug in a few times. Normally, once you notice doing that, you would stop because normally men don’t want the trace of another woman on him. Jihoon though, he’s in love with seeing remnants of you tomorrow.
Obsessed with the sting of it, loving the idea of going to his night-job tomorrow and staring at all of the toys that don’t offer you a back to hold onto like this. 
You do as he asks much like he does for you, gripping him so tightly that your nails have no choice but to leave half-moon shapes on his skin. Each thrust drags your fingers up, down, up down, and with each thrust it somehow feels deeper, harder, hotter.
When he releases your chest from his other hand and puts it back to your cheek, caressing much like he has each time he’s focused on kissing you, you think you’re a fucking goner. 
As expected, he kisses you at that moment and thrusts once, hard, before holding himself there.
“I’m really close,” He whispers apologetically between kisses, “tell me how to get you there with me.”
You smile when he kisses you again instead of letting you answer, but you fall into it much like he does and you opt to grab that hand on your cheek and guide it to your clit. 
Instantly, he’s rubbing harsh and sloppy circles around it, and you reward him for the perfect work of his fingers yet again with your fingernails digging into his back. He softly moans at that, and you swallow it up all too easily. 
Tensing your muscles, his fingers on your clit work you up so quickly that you go barely warn him of your oncoming orgasm, even as his cock sits leaking and heavy inside of you. You don’t even know how to tell him, all you can do is frantically moan out shortly.
“I’m–” 
Instantly his hips are back at work, barely even thrusting but instead remaining buried into you for the most part. He pulls out an inch and slams back in, wanting your orgasm to get him off more than his own movements. And fuck, it does.
The way you clench when you reach your high, slack lips against his own, he releases at what he could argue is the best possible time. Your tenses muscles work him up perfectly, gently massaging his cock as he releases in full without too much overstimulation. 
And you. You have never gotten off with a man staying mostly still inside of you. Actually, you’ve only gotten off that way with toys because nothing beats getting off while completely filly. Jihoon really is something, or, someone. 
The two of you released together, and his lips fell slack just like yours did. The kissing turned to that of desperate, orgasm-fogged moans into the other’s mouth. For some reason, it was incredibly hot to you that you both reacted that way. So insanely drunk on the other that nothing felt embarrassing.
Even the way his fingers moved on your clit through your orgasm, he somehow knew when to go and when to stop. 
Even now, as your orgasm tapers off, you are so blissfully aware that you want to immediately fall asleep even with him inside of you. Jihoon is polite though, and gently pulls out with a small apology of the mess. 
When he looks at you, looking so sleepy under him, maybe it translates to him too and he instantly yawns but tries to be strong for both of you.
“We should clean up.”
~
There wasn’t even a question in your head when he slept over that night. He didn’t even hint at leaving. Nor did he hint the morning after as you groggily opened your computer for your daily work. 
He did hint that he would miss you when he eventually had to go to his own house and get ready for a day at the sex-shop. 
He also hinted a few times at feeling like, when he looked at you, you weren’t a brand new person in his life. Part of you wonders if that’s because maybe you want to be permanent in his life from now on.
Later that night, he came back. Bright eyes and a stinging back.
For some reason, you feel it’s safe to say that neither of you can stand being apart for too long. So yeah, maybe this is what a normal relationship is like. If, you know, you were in a relationship with him.
Ironically enough, only a few days later that relationship is established in the form of a new car battery and a bottle of lube that he bought for you. 
Not that you need it. (The lube.)
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f10werfae · 1 year
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Daddy’s Pudge
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pairing: Construction!Chris x Wife!Pregnant!Reader
summary: With Chris sporting more of a dad bod, Y/n gives him a little pick me up to show how sexy her baby daddy really is. (EmotionallySoft!Chris) (Dilf!Chris)
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should not be taken literally, the behaviour is simply imaginative and the content may be inappropriate
likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated♥️
Chris Masterlist, Full Masterlist, Taglist form
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“Fahk sake” Chris groaned turning to the side, after stripping out of his work trousers, his large hands pulling at the extra pudge on his stomach. “What’s wrong big daddy?” Y/n smiled wrapping her arms around his body, kissing his shoulder, her swollen stomach very clearly in the way. Their first baby due in only a few months time, both of them in love as if it was still their first date.
At 28 and 36, the couple had their dream country home that Chris had built himself from the ground up, even a complimentary porch swing that Y/n said soothed her back pain.
“Baby ya need to stop cookin’ so good, gettin’ me all soft and pudgey over ‘ere” Chris groaned watching the extra skin jiggle in his hand, a small scowl growing on his face. “But I love you soft and pudgey, makes me feel all safe n’ warm” Y/n beamed affectionately petting his stomach, her face nuzzling in as best as possible into his back muscles. Her face watching his expression through the body length mirror by her makeup vanity, one he also built.
“If it makes you feel better i’m also soft n’ pudgey” Y/n said chuckling seeing his face still in a frown, turning him around to see her cupping her baby bump. “But that’s different sugar, you look sexy as shit and I look-“
“You look sexy and daddy as fuck okay? Like you’re a big bear gettin’ ready to hibernate with me and our little monster” Scolding with her newfound mother-like tone, she patted his chest at each word, “plus who else will eat my food?” She pouted batting her eyelashes up at him, knowing damn well that got him under her spell every time.
“Don’t ya think maybe I should work out a bit more though? Even my arms and legs are getting a bit big?” Chris said turning from side to side, his bearded face falling and his long brushed back hair made him look all that more, mature.
“lay down for me baby” Y/n whispered pushing him onto the edge of their bed, clad in only boxers, Chris wrapped his arms around his centre self consciously. It was safe to say that these past few months the couple had starting “nesting” Filling up with delicious food, tons of cuddles and tons of sex.
“Love your body daddy, all of it” Y/n whispered slowly unwrapping his arms away from himself, straddling his hips, she bent down and splayed wet butterfly kisses all over his stomach. Her fingers softly kneading the flesh as she continued to rain kisses all over his slightly tanned skin, “you okay hubby?” She asked looking up at him mid-kiss, surprised to see a few tears collecting in his eyes.
“U-uh yeah” Chris whispered biting onto his bottom lip, watching as Y/n crawled up his body, both their chests pressed against each other, her stomach against his. “Just thinkin’ bout how lucky I am to have ya n’ how much I love ya” Nuzzling his nose with hers, he breathed out a sigh of relief feeling her hands interlock with his, almost as if it was confirmation that she was really there with him.
“Then why you cryin’ for baby?” Y/n smiled brushing away his stray tears, that was another thing about her husband that she loved, he was very emotionally open and that made their relationship even stronger.
“It’s stupid, but the thought of losin’ ya n’ baby flashed across ma mind” He chuckled shaking his head, only for her to hold it to look at her, “m’staying right here honey, you saw not even my pa could keep me away from your sexy ass” Eagerly kissing his soft lips, his hands came up to settle on her rear, smirking into the kiss once he started pressing his fingers in gently.
“Nuh-uh, tonight is about you” Pushing his hands off her ass, Y/n shimmied back down his body, settling onto her knees on the floor; Chris giving her a pillow to kneel on.
“Love these thighs, love feelin’ them on me, under me and when I sit on them while having some passionate lovin’ with my husband” Y/n smirked kissing down each thigh, remembering how each time they would have crazy sexcapades, the slapping sound of his thighs against hers made it that even more sexy and lewd. Something about the fact that they were both so connected at that one moment.
“Baby you don’t havta-“
“Shush, n’ these arms, God forgive me but they’re heavenly. Havin’ them wrapped around me every single day, makin’ me feel all safe n’ protected and how they hold me down so well” Y/n smirked winking at him as she kissed each bicep, slightly trailing her tongue down one of them, all while Chris threw his head back breathing deeply.
Looking back at his wife, he leant down kissing her roughly, their kiss full of love and intimacy as her hand ventured down to deal with the growth in his boxers. “Can’t forget my other favourite thing about my loving husband” She laughed softly, taking Chris’ hardened cock out, her hands fisting it slowly and tightly.
“This okay baby?” She asked with one hand around his neck, kissing his cheeks and lips, feeling his lips quiver and struggle to kiss her back every time her finger ran over his slit. “Fuckin’ amazing sugar, you treat me so well” He sighed leaning his forehead against hers, his hips slowly rolling up into her hand, showing his strength with her still on his lap.
“Well gotta show some appreciate to my baby daddy, husband, boyfriend, soulmate, love of-“
“Okay okay sugar I get ya, I love ya too” He chuckled shutting her up by kissing her out of nowhere, causing her mind to go blank and her face to light up with a sleepy-like smile, gushing as if she was still a teenage girl.
Pumping his cock steadily Y/n felt his cock twitch in her hand, feeling his breaths start to get rapid and erratic, his hands venturing over her own body as well. “Gonna cum soon sweets” He whispered against the skin exposed by her low cut vest, sucking small hickies onto the curve of her breasts, his tongue licking strips up to her mouth and playing with her tongue.
“Mhm I know baby, I’ve got ya honey, cum for me” Y/n whispered kissing his ear softly, both his hands groping each of her swollen breasts, massaging the aching feeling that had recently built up the past few weeks.
“Gonna cum all over ya momma, gonna cum hard” Chris whimpered, his voice shaking and needy, his hands massaging her breasts in circular motions as she spat into her hand and returned it to his cock. Her wedding ring cold against his shaft as her hand quickened the pace, from base to tip every single stroke, her thumb rubbing over his slit just to tease his sensitive cock even more. His new nickname for her ever since they found they were expecting making a new appearance in the bedroom.
“Fuck fuckfuck oh baby love- love you so goddamn much” Chris mumbled incoherently, Y/n smiling proudly as white strings of cum shot out of her husband, covered both her hands and a bit of his thighs. “See, told you you’re sexy, and not even a lil bit of pudge will change that. Hell a lot of pudge wouldn’t even make me flinch. You’ll be an amazing daddy, n’ nothin will change that” Y/n whispered kissing his nose, her hands slowly pumping his soft cock as he hissed and moaned.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Chris breathed out, wiping her hand down with a random shirt on the bed, his eyes dazed and gleaming like they always would. He just loved her so darn much, and her him. “um you mighta mentioned it a few times?” Y/n joked pushing his hair back, cupping his face to kiss his lips again, taking his bottom lip between hers and sucking it softly.
Breaking away he looked at her, “Baby do ya want me to- ya know?”
“Ya kiddin’ me? I’m tired big boy, let’s sleep and we can discuss this in the morn, lil monster has me tuckered out” She laughed standing up and waddling to her side of the bed, almost as if nothing had happened, Chris following her in disbelief.
“Plus sometimes my man deserves some extra loving, no harm in it” She whispered now that they were facing each other under the soft sheets, their arms wrapped around each other, with his burlier arms wrapped around her proudly and protectively. His smile that bit more brighter, he was due to be a father, and he had an amazing woman by his side. What else could he need?
———
Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @pandaxnienke @patzammit @thereisa8ella @mrspeacem1nusone @evanstanwhore @itsaylayay1213 @kimhtoo17 @chrisevansdaughter @vrittivsanghavi @dumb-fawkin-bitch @tojisbabymomma @bxdbxtxh15 @madebylilly @tinyelfperson @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @royalwriteroftheuniverse @fdl305 @mdpplgtz03 @mirikusashes @marvelgurl @cevansgurl @xoxokiaraaxoxo @caps-shield1918 @uwiuwi @stormcloudss @adoreyouusugar @imboredat2am @mansaaay @girl-of-multi-fandoms @meetmeatyourworst @misshale21 @hallecarey1 @nikkitc0703 @mischiefsemimanaged @oliviah-25 @s-void @aerangi @roofwitty779 @ravenhood2792 @feltonswifesworld87 @alina02 @bookfrog242 @alexxavicry @bluebellsn @lastwandastan @angelmather1 @diyabhanushali1 @violetsdreamworld @bval-1 @stuckysgirl27 @wintasssoldier @hatsparkle @daddymack01 @keiva1000 @acornacre @minaxcarter @thebaileybugle @seungcheol17daddy
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hey uh dread, who are the crayon monster people from HatchetVerse (lords in black i think?) ? U keep rebloging stuff abt them and now im curious.
Oh boy oh son OH MAN OH NOOOOO
YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING REGRET THIS 😭😭
LONG POST AHEAD!!
So, the lords in black are a family of eldritch beings from the HachetVerse (as you correctly said). They are made up of a group of 5 brothers. While you can also include they’re sister, she is her own separated thing
Each lord in black are associated with a particular “theme” and each have their own dolls. They are from a realm outside of all dimensions (or timelines) known as the Black and White. They can be summoned or you can use their powers through a spell book known as “The Black Book” (Ik so creative)
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Wiggly, or W’gog Y’Wrath is their leader; “The lord in black”. He has his own musical in the trilogy, with him being the main antagonist of Black Friday. He’s associated a lot with squids and octopuses with his whole tentacle motif. His powers mainly include driving people mad and space manipulation. He represents capitalism and wrath.
Pokey, or Poketho, “the one singular voice”. He’s the most … “unkempt” one. In the words of his sister “He hates every voice that isn’t his own”. He’s the first LiB we meet in the first musical of the trilogy, The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals. Unlike Wiggly, he can out right take over people’s minds and he LOVES musicals! Although he’s very pretentious and petty. He’s supposed to represent envy and vanity I’m pretty sure.
Next is Tinky or T’Noy Karaxis! “The bastard of time and space”. While he has no musical, he does make his appearance in NPMD (where all of them show up). But he mainly shows up in Nightmare time, a side series of the Hatchetfeild trilogy. His title is pretty self explanatory, he can manipulate time and space. He’s the most sadistic of them all and like to torture one guy in particular for all of eternity.
Then we have Blinkey or Blinklotep. “The watcher with a thousand eyes”. Like Tinky he’s mainly in Nightmare time and shows up in NPMD. However there is a line in a COMPLETELY separate OTHER starkid show called trail to Oregon where a character refers to the audience as “the watchers with a thousand eyes” but WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO GET INTO THAT! He also drives people mad :) He’s just a little guy who like to look :)
Finally we have my personal favorite, Nibbly! Or Nibblenephim! “The insatiable”. He’s the super gender one that’s walk-in round she/her but is still him. Femme he/him swag!! He like to EAT. He CONSUMES. He’s uhm… he represents uhm… vore. Same situation as Blinky and Tinky with his appearances.
Then we have Webby! “The queen in white”. We have no idea what her doll looks like or her true name. She is limited to a mention in Black Friday and all her content is in Nightmare time. She is associated with a lot of spider imagery (Ik very similar to Wiggly and his octopuses with a strange, 8 legged creature). She is however, LUCKILY NOT EVIL! She has a strained relationship with her brothers but they are her or at least were mentors. Wiggly HATES her for some reason. She’s also a massive dork lmao. Here she is!!
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I could rant all day about my theories yeah that’s the basic basics
Fact check me if I’m wrong no beta we die like Maxwell Jäegerman
if you want to learn more WATCH THE MUSICALS AND NIGHTMARE TIME.
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thedroneranger · 9 months
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The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ myfaveficrecs Edition!
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A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!
The one and only @myfaveficrecs' Rewind is here! If you want to learn more about the creators in our fandom, check their Creator Spotlight series.
I was fortunate enough to be featured, and re-reading this was a blast from the past! She featured me before I began to contribute to the Bob Fucks agenda 😱
While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)
Let's keep this going throughout the summer, so if you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!
If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!
fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)
A Glimpse of Them, Bradley Bradshaw, @bradshawsbaby
goodness gracious, Bradley Bradshaw, @bratshaws
House We Share, Jake Seresin, @hangmanssunnies
Is It Working For You?, Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterforme
Je te Laisserai Des Mots, Bradley Bradshaw, @jupitercomet
Monster in the Dark, Bradley Bradshaw, @jupitercomet
Red, White and Rooster, Bradley Bradshaw, @cherrycola27
Si Vis Amari Ama, Bradley Bradshaw, @bradshawsbaby
Sub Rosa, Bradley Bradshaw, @sunlightmurdock
Creator's Own
Bedtime Story, Bradley Bradshaw
Taglist and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan  @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @galaxy-of-stories @taytaylala12 @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner
A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.
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werewolf-yuri · 9 months
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about this blog
who is tumblr user werewolf-yuri?
i'm @angelictactics or @herosplatling-replica, i make art for a living and for fun as well. to look at my non-monster yuri content, please refer to herosplatling-replica as that is my art blog. the stuff put here will primarily be monster yuri of all kinds, but with a focus on werewolf yuri. as a rule of thumb, please don't follow if you are a minor.
what is werewolf yuri?
werewolf yuri is, to me, any sapphic content with a werewolf involved. bisexual werewolves, pan werewolves, lesbian werewolves, they're all welcome. i'm likely going to reblog all werewolf yuri i come across, so if you're the OP of some of the art i reblog and don't want it labeled under yuri, please let me know with an ask or dm! i will update tags accordingly :)
who are the fruity looking gals in your pfp
the girls are freya and jeanne, in their monster au iterations. admittedly this au is a lot more mature than the others, but i love them too much... i might post some of that art here. jury's still out on that. but if you wanna know more about them, shoot me an ask!
will this blog have nsfw?
nsfw or suggestive posts will be marked with the tag "#😳". feel free to block it if you don't wanna see that stuff. if you don't got your age in your bio i can't under good conscience let ya loiter here. please have either your age or 'adult' in your bio thank u for your time and understanding.
anything else i should know about
i like girls no further questions
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vampyrhotline · 2 months
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INTRODUCTION / PINNED POST
” hey-hey, hey emo boy (s) ! ” ( ´ཀ` )♡
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♱.˳⁺⁎˚ brring, brring ! ˚⁎⁺˳ .♱
EZRA'S PIECES AND BITS.
he / it / ezra / vamp / fang prns
vampyre with a bit of spice. (he's a weird ass faggot.) wannabe scenemo kid who's a little bit rad and a little bit queer, goated with the transid sauce !
TODDY'S GRUESOME VOICEMAIL.
he / it / zomb prns
zombie who could give less of a shit. tord halftroject who's been zombified and twinkified !
EDWIN'S UNWILLING CONTRIBUTION.
he / they prns
alter who alternates from being a persecutor and a protector, 24/7 365. tall monster who will bite you love-hatingly, and generally just jumps into fights.
☥🦇 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪ collective ids . . .
tr4nsmasculine, tr4nsspecies, tr4nsr4ce, tr4nsl4ngu4ge, tr4ns4ge, tr4nsh4rmed, tr4nsh4rmful, p4r4phili4c, ect., ect., you get the gist surely ... (〃´`〃 ⁠)
( 4 = a , censored just in case.)
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DNI / BYF
* antis , shittalkers , or people generally coming to be disrespectful asf can LEAAAAVE !!!
* it's likely that I'll reblog or possibly talk about suggestive content, so if u also don't like that then shoo !!!
* dni will go both ways, if i/we notice u have something in ur dni that applies to me/us, we'll quickly undo anything interaction related.
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this blog is shared by multiple alters in a system to keep all of our side-blogs organized, so here are basic sign offs ! ⇙
🦇 : sign off used for EZRA
🪦 : sign off used for TODDY
💥: sign off used for EDWIN
general tags will start off with " ⁶𖤐⁶ . " for fun, though. ( ex: #⁶𖤐⁶ . reblogs )
♱.˳⁺⁎˚ thanks for calling ! ˚⁎⁺˳ .♱
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domjaehyun · 1 year
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I posted 3,784 times in 2022
3,543 posts created (94%)
241 posts reblogged (6%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@domjaehyun
@ncteez
@neopuppy
@renjunfocus
@lustbile
I tagged 3,777 of my posts in 2022
#answered - 3,452 posts
#anon - 3,010 posts
#🧠 - 255 posts
#pola - 196 posts
#srb - 118 posts
#unknownnctizen - 85 posts
#jizz.txt - 83 posts
#soup - 81 posts
#big sad - 71 posts
#☀️ - 69 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#if you see me follow up this post with stress that it’s long then no you didn’t mind your business i’ll circle back to this vibe again
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
pussy fiend, part 2 (l.dh)
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PAIRING ➢ haechan x fem!reader
GENRES & AUS ➢ smut, humor, fluff; college au, enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers, roommate au
WORD COUNT ➢ 68.9k total, in 2 parts (28.2k & 40.7k)
WARNINGS ➢ invasion of privacy, Haechan’s a sneaky little shit, cocky!Haechan, jokes about emotional manipulation, author pretends to know about stuff she doesn’t, mild dubcon
CONTENTS ➢ (mild) dubcon, bratty switches! boffum!, somnophilia, oral (receiving), allusions to a free-use kink but barely, rimming (receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, brief thigh job, praise, barely degradation but if you’re sensitive note that, some spit kink, panty sucking (?), Haechan’s a bit of a pain slut, fingering, biting
SUMMARY ➢ part two baybee!! uhhh he still likes you and is still a fiend for pussy bestie have fun :)
AUTHOR’S NOTE ➢ thank you so much for all the love on part one!! please do not get upset with me if you ignore the contents/warnings and get your feelings hurt; that is no one’s doing but yours. massive thank you to my love @ncteez for all her help with the initial idea and beta reading this monster for me :')
PART ONE FOUND HERE !!
See the full post
2,344 notes - Posted March 4, 2022
#4
SURVIVING NO NUT NOVEMBER (L.MK, L.DH)
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MEMBERS. mark lee x fem!reader x lee haechan
GENRE. smut…that’s it… some humor
WORD COUNT. 28.8k (i’m not apologizing and you can’t make me)
CONTENTS. weed consumption, haechan favoritism (it’s me. what did you expect), explicit smut (slightest of dubcon, chasing kink (? y’all idk), quite a bit of edging/orgasm denial (giving), dry humping, handjobs, blowjobs, cunnilingus, finger sucking, bit of spit kink, unprotected sex, creampie, double penetration, anal, rimming (receiving), overstimulation (receiving), praise kink, some slight degradation, bratty switch!reader, bratty switch!haechan, needy switch!mark, haechan really likes calling you “puppy,” i think that’s it)
NOTES. hi :3 thank you to my love @ncteez​ (hon) for beta reading this for me! i’m on my mark & haechan monster cock agenda thank you very much :)
PLAYLIST. video games - sun // seduce - russ // pth - emanuel
See the full post
2,598 notes - Posted November 26, 2022
#3
KISS U RIGHT NOW (L.MK)
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pairing. mark lee x fem!reader genre. some fluff, smut word count. 6.9k contents. kissing, breast play, fingering (receiving), oral (giving), unprotected sex
summary. in which mark just really wants to kiss you. alternative summary. five times mark wanted to kiss you and one time he actually does.
notes. happy (belated) birthday @najaemarkl !! this fic is based off the song ‘kiss u right now’ by duckwrth 🥰
See the full post
2,767 notes - Posted October 2, 2022
#2
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See the full post
4,682 notes - Posted July 1, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
pussy fiend (l.dh)
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PAIRING ➢ haechan x fem!reader
GENRES & AUS ➢ smut, humor, fluff; college au, enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers, roommate au
WORD COUNT ➢ 68.9k total, in 2 parts (28.2k & 40.7k)
WARNINGS ➢ invasion of privacy, Haechan’s a sneaky little shit, cocky!Haechan, jokes about emotional manipulation, author pretends to know about stuff she doesn’t, mild dubcon
CONTENTS ➢ (mild) dubcon, bratty switches! boffum!, somnophilia, oral (receiving), allusions to a free-use kink but barely, rimming (receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, brief thigh job, praise, barely degradation but if you’re sensitive note that, some spit kink, panty sucking (?), Haechan’s a bit of a pain slut, fingering, biting
SUMMARY ➢ uhhh he likes you and is a fiend for pussy idk bestie
AUTHOR’S NOTE ➢ long time no see! please consider sending a donation/tip if you enjoy the fic! please do not get upset with me if you ignore the contents/warnings and get your feelings hurt; that is no one’s doing but yours. if you enjoy the fic, please consider tipping me here or here!! ALSO massive thank you to my love @ncteez for all her help with the initial idea and beta reading this monster for me :')
PART TWO FOUND HERE !!
See the full post
5,052 notes - Posted February 25, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
19 notes · View notes
lawliett-111 · 5 months
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。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。 🕸️🕷️
 ゚・。・゚
like this post before following me!
age in bio please!!
🕸️
my name is shy !!
nineteen, it/he/she, transmasc & genderfluid, pre-t and all that, new york, stoner
autism monster
i ♡ my boyfriend
vampire (real)
vers <3 but usually sub leaning
i’m into…
degradation, objectification, somno, bondage, petplay, some humiliation, choking, some impact play, free use, some blood play, oral fixation, knifeplay, intox (weed+alc), biting, choking, probably more LMAO
off limits
ageplay, incest/fauxcest, detrans, r*pe, f**der or anything weight and/or food related, feet, sc*t and similar things. please do not interact if u post about any of these as they make me very uncomfortable.
ཐི ❤︎ ཋྀ
interactions
i pretty much created this blog so i could post horny shit LMAO i mostly reblog stuff but will also be writing my own posts!!
dms are always open, i love meeting new people and chatting!! :3
if my content makes u uncomfortable, that’s fine!! but please do not report me, just block and scroll.
do not interact: minors, terfs / anti lgbt, ed/sh blogs, cishets, ‘men dni’ blogs, proship, zoos
please lmk if i’m following / interacting with someone problematic, saying something wrong, etc!
follow my ns/fw twitter for more content 🩷
thank u for reading! ♡
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jeffbytes · 2 years
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y'alrite, i'm Jeff!
27 | ENFP-T | Liverpool 🇬🇧
biromantic asexual trans man, selfshipper, kinnie and digital artist
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i can also go by the names Jeffo, Asobi, Dexter and Ron, but mainly just Jeff. my # 1 comfort film and character is Bolt⚡🧡 my main f/o is Haida 🎸❤️
this is my main variety blog where i post whatever - my selfships, kinnie stuff, reblogs, general artwork, text posts and personal life stuff. everything has unique tags (to the best of my memory / ability) so if you want to filter anything and follow for something specific i dont mind at all :) not as active of a selfshipper as i used to be but i still love my f/os :)
not the chattiest over DMs, but i always aim to give back the love i receive 🫶
icon art and banner art by myself
▫️ artist, editor, writer, commissioner
▫️ not all art is mine, i will credit my artists and specify if so!
▫️ all my socials here on my taplink
▫️ for my anthro content: i do not use the furry label and i am not part of the fandom, please do not refer to me as one thank u
f/o list, kin list and DNI list under the read more cut!
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main f/o:
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Haida is my main closest f/o of 5+ years, and the one most spoken about on my main blog! he's right up there with Bolt on the level of comfort this character gives me. we've been through so much together and have such a realistically developed arc in our canon because of such. i've had many hyperfixes and i have many f/os, but it always comes back to Haida at the end :) he's the longest running and the one i'm closest with ❤️
full f/o list:
Clementine (Stray), Jack (Final Space), Tadano (Aggretsuko), Rivet & Clank (Rift Apart), Mr Wolf (The Bad Guys), Captain Gantu (Lilo & Stitch), Nick Wilde (Zootopia), Agent Classified (Madagascar), Spanx (Whiplash), Ellis (L4D2)
my ship tags are listed in the tags of this post for ease of browsing / blocking. not all of them have tags or content (yet), pls ask if you need one tagging!
#jaida hyenas / jaidano Haida and Tadano #gantobyte Gantu #jetrivet / jetric and clank / riftapoly Rivet and Clank #hyena x weasel / genron poly Spanx and Redmond #wolf x hyena Mr Wolf #jeffentine Clementine #maw boyfriends at work Tylor Tuskmon #greywilde Nick Wilde #jeff4ellis Ellis L4D2 #jeffified Agent Classified
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main kins:
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full kin list:
WALL-E (the movie), Luigi (Super Mario Bros), Muta (The Cat Returns), Dexter (Dexter's Lab), Clarence (the cartoon), Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc), Haida (Aggretsuko [also f/o]), Bob Belcher (Bob's Burgers), Wile E Coyote (Looney Tunes), Creeper (Minecraft [cringe ik]), Bob Parr (The Incredibles), Scooby Doo (the cartoon), Homer Simpson (The Simpsons [older seasons only]), Moxxie (Helluva Boss [i do not support Vivzie]), Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet), Barley (Onward), Gary Goodspeed (Final Space), Katie Mitchell (TMVSTM), Both Remy & Emile (Ratatouille), Reuben (Lilo & Stitch), Bandit (Bluey)
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DNI criteria:
proshippers, terfs, any form of trans or LGBT+ phobe, tories, anyone nonce adjacent, folks who ship with Haida or kin my main kins (explained below)
please do not interact if you self ship with Haida (the others are fine for doubles!) this includes his 'simps', crushes, and anyone who talks about him in a romantic or sexual way. you're absolutely valid, it just makes me very uncomfortable to see or talk about.
for the same reason, please don't interact if you kin the hyena species, Wakko, Ron or Legoshi. seeing others gives me the same discomfort in ways i struggle to explain, because of an identity disorder i'm not too comfy elaborating on in public, my apologies. you're equally as valid, just prefer you didn't interact that's all!
my goal isn't prevention, only harmless avoidance. please respect my bounderies, thank you! your cooperation with my comfort, even if it understandably doesn't make sense to you personally, is appreciated ;;
23 notes · View notes
nothums-from-tj · 1 year
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Welcome back to TJ’s craving content for a niche ship/fandom and only has enough energy for hcs: Blinkley (Daph/Velma) edition
This is going for “What’s New, Scooby-Doo?” (Velma being Jewish and Hispanic in this canon), “A Pup Named Scooby-Doo”, and “Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated” along with several movies. Currently watching “Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!” so if I reblog w more there will be some adding from there. If you write/draw any of these PLEASE ping me/rb this post bc I can’t get enough of them rn
V calls Daph looking to vent rq and realizes like half way through part of said vent has to do w her crush on Daph so she switches to Spanish and Daphne’s able to pick up some of it due to whatever French she knows and the similarities of Latin languages and she’s very confused when she repeats back what she could kind of understand and Velma is very embarrassed
for some particular reason Shaggy has to be somewhere Scooby can’t be and Velma is his go-to dog-sitter (based on APNSD The Computer Walks Among Us, “Please, Scooby—for me?” + she kissed his cheek, “Aww, I’d do anything for you, Velma.”) and I just very much like the mental image of Scooby curled up at her feet or something while Daph’s over and they all just watch a movie or smth
following “Moon Monster Madness” Daphne can’t sleep for the life of her bc she can’t stop thinking abt this interaction and she just has to call Velma, it’s 2:00 in the morning and to her it doesn’t matter bc she needs Velma to know that she matters so much more than what she thinks after she didn’t really get a chance to say so beforehand [EDIT: written now haha]
Daphne loves watching Velma work, especially her thinking faces and stimming
thinking abt Large Dragon at Large from WNSD and Velma’s COSTUME with her and Daphne talking abt it beforehand and V’s so embarrassed to show it to Daphne bc she thinks it’s ridiculous so then jokingly Daph keeps accusing her of picking something “scandalous” (“does it show too much of your shoulders or something ;)” “I hate you”) and because Daphne genuinely can’t think of another reason as to why Velma would be embarrassed to show it off she puts it on for Daphne and she thinks it’s literally the cutest thing ever
due to past issues of Men™️ they both have crazy low expectations of relationships when they start dating, like heartbreakingly low- Velma getting a bit emotional when Daph isn’t ashamed of her/their relationship or when she wants a day to the both of them rather than constantly including friends/avoiding alone time; Daphne tearing up when Velma’s interested in what she has to say and makes sure she knows her opinions are valid/acknowledged/cared for; and both of them are pleasantly surprised when they make equal effort rather than begging for the bare minimum
whenever they spend the night together + Velma’s up too late working too hard Daphne will pretend to be asleep and pull a cat-like move in the sense of being cuddly as inconveniently as possible, trying to “shift” to cover her papers or laptop with her arm or slowly try to cover Velma/her papers when on her computer so she could be bothered just enough to not actually be annoyed and enough to give up and go to bed
even if it’s not the greatest in the world, Daphne’s in love w Velma’s singing voice and always encourages any bit of confidence boost she gets
Daphne tries to remind Velma that she’s gorgeous and stunning in every way especially (not because of) knowing that she has a few issues with her body image + Daph just loves her sm
similar to the previous, Velma will often try to find ways to compliment Daphne that don’t involve her physical appearance to show that she sees/acknowledges more than that
Velma started crushing first—they were in early middle school, Daphne started having a phase of calling her friends pet names and Velma’s poor gay heart could not take that (totally not how I got my first crush what r u talking abt)
in middle/high school during lunch/recess, Daphne would often sit with Velma and read under a tree in comfortable silence or Velma would try to sit with Daphne and her friends (Daph enjoyed reading w V more than V enjoyed being w her clique + that is more than ok <3), though of course they’d have their separate times when they’d want to too
Daphne loves going to hockey games w V bc she thinks it’s the funniest thing seeing how hockey can get so violent so quick and how V is just all over that (she also just loves seeing Velma get excited abt things)
Daphne would watch Jack Stauber’s “Opal” day in and day out and Velma would happily watch along; Daphne more or less comforted in not being alone as a child of neglect, Velma nitpicking the art style and the metaphors and how absolutely genius work it is
Velma seems like a clarinet player to me (as a clarinet player myself oops) and I think Daphne would have a lot of fun on low brass even if her parents keep pushing her to do flute or piccolo or something on top of piano and/or violin
I have more they’re just not in my phone so I’ll find them hopefully in the morning if not some other time😭😭😭😭 I wrote them in a notebook for class in my senior year of high school (3 years ago) so I guess I’ll be on a mission to find this particular notebook bc I hardly used it for actual class stuff
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drunktuesdays · 1 year
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I posted 1,990 times in 2022
That's 985 more posts than 2021!
254 posts created (13%)
1,736 posts reblogged (87%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@theroseandthebeast
@orange-catsidy
@thevaudevillescene
@kissing-monsters
@dykecassidy
I tagged 1,885 of my posts in 2022
Only 5% of my posts had no tags
#wrestling - 666 posts
#i know that's right - 110 posts
#asks - 61 posts
#matt jackson - 60 posts
#i know that’s right - 56 posts
#correct - 37 posts
#my work - 30 posts
#that's right - 26 posts
#dustin - 26 posts
#alpha4alpha - 24 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#and buck's so stressed and urgent about being like i don't want to test my couch out. i know what i want. i just want the couch to want me
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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unfortunately real shit
334 notes - Posted September 11, 2022
#4
THE MEDICINE IS NOT WORKING BUT I AM STILL HERE.
395 notes - Posted October 12, 2022
#3
Why I Am Not Coming Into Work Today
Dear employers,
I will have to take the day off today because:
☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm
☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again
☐ A dog looked at me
☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance
☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven
☐ Daylight savings time
☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?
☐ Girls are too pretty
☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted
☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen
-"Why I Am Not Coming Into Work Today" by Jess Zimmerman
597 notes - Posted December 5, 2022
#2
i love when fanfictions make men cry. it's like, one of the most important things anyone's ever doing. i'm currently reading a fic where the on-screen men are either fucking or they're absolutely weeping. just sobbing their stupid brains out. i'm scrolling through it SO happily like, thank u. thank you for your hard work, author. people might not like to admit it but this is peak performance. if men aren't sucking, fucking, or sobbing then i don't even wanna see it. dry eyes? dry pussy
834 notes - Posted August 19, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
everyone is fucking but no one is horny
one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.
and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.
but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.
3,899 notes - Posted November 29, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
8 notes · View notes
aayo-whatt · 2 years
Note
heyo ayo ^-^
pick a blorbo that is close to you heart and just word vomit about them, im very interested in your favorite characters and the reasoning behind them ^-^ (if you dont want to thats okay too lolol)
*sorry if this is a lil random and out of the blue aaaa*
hihi :>>> and i dont mind random stuff, it just makes me happy seeing ppl in my inbox-
uh- ok hold on, theres gonna be like three (maybe more i cant count-) bc i cant choose between them-
Supernatural i think the shows actually kinda old, but do i care? not one bit im also only at the end of the fourth season, and ive got ten(ish) more to go sooo- (if you know what the show is ignore this, but if not read on: its essentially about these two brothers (sam and dean) who fight supernatural beings title lol -- things like demons, ghosts, monsters, etc basically anything from old mythology from all cultures) anyway- love love love this show bc 1. characters are so good, and like well developed (continuing to develop throughout the show as well) like omg- 2. plot is literally amazing like wth, theres usually a bunch of plot twists 'n stuff, so it keeps you hooked alotta the time and 3. it might be dramatic, but it has its funny moments too (also the fandom is still like *aggressively* active with all the ships-) favourite characters so far- dean, older brother, loves food (like me sometimes), and the reason for most of the jokes in the show (as in he makes them, and ppl make some abt him) honestly hes just really funny and i love him platonically second favourite (he might actually be my first but-) castiel, he doesnt appear till the start of season 4 but its worth the wait, i think ppl find him annoying at first but hes so pretty and i aggresively simp for him platonically, hes also kinda dry but that makes it funnier- (fun fact, ppl ship dean and castiel together -- destiel -- so its funny that they're my two favourite characters-)
Merlin show got cancelled but used to air on BBC, its set in medieval times (king arthur, is legit a character but hes not king yet), so its got magic, sword fighting, the whole thing love the show bc again characters are amazing, plot is amazing, and while its dramatic it has its funny moments (also even though the show ended like ten years ago, fandom is still active and i love that)my favourite character is probably gwaine, i cant explain why he just is (if you watch the show you'll understand)
finally (but *definitely* not least) Haikyuu- idk why i think its mainly just bc the eng dub makes me smile every time i watch one of its episodes- and also probably bc i simp for so many of the characters (shhh-) also recently learnt im a bokuto kinnie do with that what you will *major* sakusa simp, he's just so pretty and i cant handle it, and idc if people think hes distant and moody and stuff bc i literally love him(you can probably tell that by the amount of kiyoomi content i reblog)- i also simp a lot for suna, just bc have u seen him hes pretty as sooo- its also bc i find him funny and i just love him ok? (also low quality suna pics i legit love for some reason-) a character from haikyuu i love but in a more platonic way, is bokuto, again he's pretty- but its also his personality is just so chaotic and i love him for it- especially when him and kuroo are together, it just makes things all the more funnier for me
uh- there's more shows, but this is all i can think of rn- also sorry its so long, i tend to ramble a lot sometimes-
what about you? favourite blorbo/s? feel free to ramble, people being happy makes me happy
8 notes · View notes
knotbinary · 2 years
Note
hello ! (pls don’t feel obligated to answer this, I know this is kinda a weird ask) im working on making a monster dating sim game (which currently I’m in the planning stage of) and am attempting to conduct some market research here on tumblr 😅. I really love ur blog and was just wondering if you’ve noticed any trends in terms of wat monsters/ monster tropes that tend to do well with your posts ? It doesn’t have to be anything detailed, just general vibes if you’ve noticed any - tho totally chill if u haven’t. Again ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE to respond to this, I don’t want to take up ur time (if you’ve even read this far thank you). Sorry for the strange ask ! and thank you for posting amazing content you’re literally one of my favourite blogs
I'm not sure how much help I can be because I don't tend to notice these things, but I can share with you which of my posts are most popular and perhaps you can extrapolate from there. Keep in mind, though, some of these posts did well because I reblogged them to my main (@roguemonsterfucker) and that blog has a lot more followers than this one.
A werewolf who hasn’t told their partner that they’re a werewolf yet, but they buy their partner knotted dildos to test the waters and prepare them…
being left as the sacrifice for the old gods at the edge of the forest. but you are found by the pack of werewolves instead. (cont.)
I’m a simple person. I see fangs and I get hard.
A magic monster dildo. It gains power as you use it until eventually it can take its full form. In the middle of using it, suddenly it becomes an actual monster and starts fucking you.
Oh to be tied up and used as a breeding mount for all manner of horny creatures. (cont.)
A backyard barbecue to get to know your new partner’s friends turns into a werewolf pack gang bang. (cont.)
Thinking about how after sex with a werewolf, you’re knotted for a while and you spend that time just chatting, bonding, maybe even snacking on some food you kept handy.
Can’t get the idea of being a pet to a werewolf and vampire out of my head. (cont.)
Those are all my posts on this blog with a considerable amount of notes.
I'll say, it's interesting that the living dildo one is already so high up on the list considering I only posted it ten days ago. A lot of these posts took weeks or even months to get the amount of notes they have now.
Another that I seem to recall doing well quickly was ironically the other dildo one. Though I think that's partially because I reblogged it to my main, which I don't usually do.
I used this website to find my most popular original posts: https://jetblackcode.com/TumblrNoteCounter
I hope this helps somehow! And I hope you'll let us know when you have the game available! We need more monster dating sims! 🥰
10 notes · View notes
jkrobertson · 1 year
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I posted 471 times in 2022
73 posts created (15%)
398 posts reblogged (85%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@slytherkins
@ulquihimelovers
@jkrobertson
@peroxidestan
@ladylilithprime
I tagged 91 of my posts in 2022
#ulquihime - 67 posts
#ulquiorra/orihime - 18 posts
#i hate u i love u - 16 posts
#dirty 30 - 14 posts
#ihuilu - 14 posts
#ulquihimeweek2022 - 8 posts
#ulquihimeweek - 8 posts
#bleach - 7 posts
#ulquihimesummerfestival - 7 posts
#jkrobertson wrotes - 5 posts
Longest Tag: 87 characters
#sometimes you want to drink a green smoothie and sometimes you want full sugar kool aid
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
What are you most excited to see animated for bleach if you are watching it when it comes back that is ?
I will absolutely watch it! I think the thing I'm most excited for is:
the new visual style
seeing Orihime again. I miss her!
I'm looking forward to having all the Sternritter introduced to me in a format that I find easier to consume (the manga was a difficult slog for me during the TYBW arc).
Byakuya v. As Nodt
The battle of the Kenpachis
RETURN OF AIZEN
I'm sure there are a million other... OH WAIT! THE NUMBER ONE THING I WANT TO SEE IS ORIHIME AND CHAD IN HUECO MUNDO CHILLIN' WITH THE ARRANCAR HOMIES AND GRIMMJOW COMING OUT WITH THE DRIP!
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yeeee
29 notes - Posted January 1, 2022
#4
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See the full post
46 notes - Posted March 26, 2022
#3
youtube
@troyyyyyyyyyyyyyy reminded me of this masterpiece 😭
56 notes - Posted May 6, 2022
#2
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Announcing the UlquiHime Summer Festival Event!
(It's ulquihime week lite (c))
WHAT'S THE DEAL? Prepare a fic, art piece, edit, or whatever about Ulquiorra and Orihime with the prompt: Summer Festival. Post it on Tumblr with the hashtag ulquihimesummerfestival on July 30, 2022. It gets reblogged. We all get to enjoy a lot of new content. Easy peasy!
Please contact me @jkrobertson with any questions. Can't wait :D
62 notes - Posted June 6, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
What do you love most about the UH ship? 🥰
This is such a hard question. There are so many things to love. The aesthetic. The poetry. The growth. The angst. The sweet sadness.
But I think my most loved part about the UH ship is the hope. Hope that a monster born of nothingness can be redeemed. Hope that a girl who dared to love everyone despite having love constantly ripped away from her can find it reflected back to her in the eyes of another who had previously seemed incapable. Hope that despite the deepest, most seemingly insurmountable divides, true connection between souls can be made.
Ulquiorra offered Orihime the hope that she could make a difference; to be the change she wanted to see. That her being exactly who she is was enough to make all the difference in the world; that she was significant. Orihime offered Ulquiorra hope that despite himself, there is something real about the intangible bonds between people, and that even a wretched void like him could feel the warmth of a compassionate soul, that he might be mourned, and that he could find someone to leave his heart with; someone who cared enough to reach back.
95 notes - Posted April 1, 2022
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