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#i like the chonky lines
schaafdraws · 2 months
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snapshot 📷
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noyzinerd · 1 year
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Mistakes Literally No One But I Have Ever Noticed (After Watching Teen Wolf Seven-ish Times)
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🤣
Haha! Didn't expect THIS of all things to be the most interesting thing about me, but, sure.
Gurl, you want receipts? I got yo' receipts:
1. Season 2, Episode 2:
Around the 8:58 mark, you can see a crew member under the principal's desk tapping their foot, near Jackson's knee. (Wouldn't it be funny if the principal was actually hiding a secret blowjob buddy under his desk this whole time and they didn't expect the fucking sheriff to be there that day?)
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Anyway, it's more noticeable on a big TV screen then a phone, so I tried my best to brighten and zoom in on the foot tapping the best that I could 😓. You might be able to see it in the first gif if you turn the brightness on your phone up to retina-searing though.
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2. Season 3B, Episode 21:
Bare patches of unburned skin on the Nogitsune that the makeup department missed (two patches on the neck and a whole wrist)
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3. Season 3A, Episode 5:
During the fight with the Alphas, Derek swings at Kali in the background, and Kali reacts like she's been hit, but there is clearly a very wide berth between both actors
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4. Opening Theme Starting from 3A, And Season 1, Episode 9:
Derek's tattoo in the title sequence from 3A onward is the reverse of when we see it in the show. The triskele spirals swirl counterclockwise in the intro while the spirals swirl clockwise in the show. (Also the lines are thinner in the intro version too.)
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So, just so we're all clear:
Intro triskele direction vs. Canon direction
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5. Season 2, Episode 7:
In the fight between Scott and Jackson, around the 20:55ish minute mark, you can see Tyler Posey's stunt double for several shots.
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And also a brief shot of Colton Haynes' stunt double from that fight if you pause just right
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6. Season 1, Episode 6, and Season 5(B), Episode 18:
Allison reads about her ancestor, sent by King Louis the 15th, to kill the Beast of Gevaudan, who killed from 1764-1767. Not only was this person a man called Argent, he was said to have hunted the Beast down after his wife and four kids were killed by it.
Later, this ancestor is changed to a woman, Marie-Jeanne Valet played by Crystal Reed (not sent by a king, but, instead, her own sense of responsiblity and justice since the Beast was her brother), who marries a man named Henri Argent AFTER she had already killed the Beast (who actually started killing in 1760, not 1764).
Also, Lydia says all her research said that the Beast was killed by a man named Jean Chastel...?? Out of nowhere and for no reason? Even though she was the person Allison had been telling her family history to in season 1??
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(I mean, there's also the obvious mistakes everyone talks about, i.e. Liam/Mason/Corey/Hayden skipping a grade and all the times the kanima doesn't paralyze someone in a fight, etc., but I wanted to specifically highlight stuff people don't notice)
Some people can run really fast or lift heavy things.
Me? I guess my superpower is watching a whole fucking lot of Teen Wolf and regurgitating micro-observations.
Man, what a shitty superpower.
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aroundmyscars · 1 year
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I was having a really bad time one Halloween so I made my my very chonky cat a hygtg tour outfit costume and honestly no regrets
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dancinghannigram · 1 year
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its 2023 and im making peace with the fact i will never draw thin lines on my art. it wont work and im making peace with that fact , bear with me god bles u
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retconomics · 2 years
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Your art is so crisp and dynamic! Very weighty too, and funny
HEEHEE THABK UUUU
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solitarelee · 1 year
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Okay guys I have NEVER recommended anything here other than books and hashtag not sponsored BUT. I just got my Nike Go FlyEase shoes and they are a disability GAME CHANGER for me.
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[img desc: a person steps onto an odd looking sneaker which is folded partially in half. the shoe closes around their foot as they step down]
They are a funky little shoe that literally FOLDS in such a manner that they can be put on and off entirely without your hands; you can just step in and out of them.
The history of them is actually very interesting; the FlyEase line was always designed with disability in mind (the first one was inspired by a teenager with cerebral palsy, Matthew Walzer). They've been a thing for years but they never had one that particularly stood out to me amongst other similar shoes... until the Go.
You see, along with being someone who has only a few bends in me per day before it's all over, I'm also a fall risk. Like a comical fall risk. I've fallen into traffic. I will just roll over and die at a moment's notice. And most slide on shoes are unstable and slip around on your foot. This shoe clamps onto me like a goddamn vice. It's Got Me. It's also got good arch support which is like, a plus. By freeing up a bunch of bend-overs per day, this is going to leave me with a lot more ability and energy, especially on the bad days.
They sound too good to be true (I was VERY skeptical buying them despite the video review), but seriously, you can just step into them--and out of them by stepping on that chonky back heel there. God knows I'm not the only person with difficulty sliding on heels or tying laces in the world, so I thought I would be remiss if I didn't recommend them. If you think they might help you out, they probably WOULD, as they were recommended to me by Footless Jo, an amputee YouTuber, and as mentioned, were inspired in part by people with disabilities ranging from cerebral palsy to past strokes.
They're Pricey but ultimately average when it comes to Nice Shoes(tm), the ones I got were $125.
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crazypossumman · 1 year
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These google targeted articles really know what I wanna see, huh
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hotteoki · 4 months
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instagram posts with bf ateez !
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pairing: idol ot8 ateez x soloist idol reader (no prns used)
genre: one shot smau, fluff, est. rel.
cw: /
notes: i'm using this gradient colour to my heart's content it's opened a whole new world for me
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hongjoong (홍중)
yn.ln
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liked by captainjoong and 1,623,591 others
yn.ln behind the scenes
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fanacc342 DOES THAT MEAN WE'LL SEE YN IN THE MV MAKING VIDEO????
captainjoong no i'm gatekeeping
fanacc772 why does he look shorter than usual
yn.ln BYE 😭
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seonghwa (성화)
yn.ln
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liked by toothlessonmars and 1,330,128 others
yn.ln hi future husband
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fanacc774 THE CAPTION????
yn.ln teehee
toothlessonmars why did i not see you take the second pic...
fanacc912 bro acting like he's not blushing giggling kicking his feet in the air over yn's caption
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yunho (윤호)
yn.ln
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liked by yunhogizer and 1,196,110 others
yn.ln if i hadn't taken pictures you guys would never believe this man gave me a weather report on our date
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fanacc839 so unserious omg 😭
yunhogizer but it was the most accurate weather report you've ever heard, no? 🤨
yn.ln you said today was going to be filled with thunderstorms and lightning. it was the hottest day of the year.
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yeosang (여상)
yn.ln
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liked by hehetmon and 1,604,685 others
yn.ln date with boyfriend
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fanacc869 what's with ateez and chonky shoes 😭
yn.ln i bought those for him </3
fanacc082 is yn being replaced... 😨
hehetmon yes
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san (산)
yn.ln
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liked by choimountain and 1,973,572 others
yn.ln i love you
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fanacc019 STOP YN BOUGHT THE MAGAZINE MY HEART 😭😭😭
choimountain i love you too ❤️
fanacc979 WITH THE HEART EMOJI ENOUGH
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mingi (민기)
fix_on
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liked by yn.ln and 1,942,922 others
fix_on thank you yn ❤️
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yn.ln 💋💋
fanacc840 OKAY but let's talk about how the cat says 'i love you' and yn's representative emoji is a cat i'm gonna start crying
fanacc111 why would you say this
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wooyoung (우영)
yn.ln
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liked by young_story and 1,384,984 others
yn.ln two cuties
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young_story another one was behind the camera ;)
fanacc474 SDKGJSKFJKE WOOYOUNG
fanacc384 why do they kinda look similar...
yn.ln WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING
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jongho (종호)
yn.ln
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liked by choijohn and 1,228,492 others
yn.ln "anyway, when you meet me, don't wear converses..."
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fanacc399 continue the lyric yn?? 🤨🤨
yn.ln ...no
choijohn what's with the caption
yn.ln idk what's with you
skits if you don't get the reference, search up converse high bts lyrics and read the next line of the caption...
choijohn 😲😲😲
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networks: @kflixnet k-labels @kbookshelf neverendingdreams-net straykidsland @k-films @pirateeznet
inspiration: @kairoot
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burlowbeanie · 9 months
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Locked Tomb Timeline, as far as I can tell
This is a long one, and a bit of a mess. I'll be making other posts about the fun date coincidences and my speculations about their implications, but I figured I should give some of the actual evidence in one solid chonky post so I can link to it and don't need to repeat myself later on.
(BD = before death of the earth; AR = after resurrection; BM = before millennium, AM = after millennium)
Unspecified Pre-Death of the earth: Foundation of Canaan house/the facility that Jod et al used for the cryogenic experiments. Establishment of Kuiper installation, Uranus platform, Mars installation w/ room for 5 million, the Lucifer Telescope, and fusion batteries (Ntn 14, Ntn 74, Ntn 189)
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Now! Some pre-resurrection numbers!
Before 2 BD: C-- sides with the crew (Ntn 13)
1 BD: Governments shift away from the cyrogenics plan (Ntn 13)
0 BD: Jod destroys the world
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Now, the most unclear section of the timeline: the resurrection and its immediate aftermath.
Augustine, from Htn 176: “Alfred and I were there early enough to found the Koniortos Court on the Fifth, but Lyctors like Cyth wouldn’t be born for years and years, and she spent her whole life suffering Seventh House woo-woo theories regarding the value of hereditary cancer … whereas Mercy is the oldest lag except for me, and she was out hammering at the Eighth House before the paint was even dry on the Resurrection.”
The resurrection occurs a few weeks after the death of the earth (Ntn 396). Then things get a bit hazy. We know the approximate order of the resurrections of the original ten disciples, but not how far apart they were staggered - was it minutes? Months? Years?
Similarly, Cyrus/Val and Anastasia/Samael are implied to have showed up before Cytherea/Loveday, when Cytherea was almost 30 years old. Both cavaliers have last names associated with their house, which suggests that either the third and ninth were established enough to at least have a small population by the time that they went to Canaan House, or that they took those names/were given those names later on.
Cytherea-as-Dulcinea says that she "dreamed of being a 9th nun" at age 13, and it's unclear if she's speaking as herself or as Dulcinea or how much she was lying as either persona (Gtn 104). Thus, we don't know if the ninth house was established by the time she went to Canaan House, though it seems like the sort of hint that both Cytherea and Muir would have had a fun time dropping.
Thus, while it is possible/seems probably many/most of the houses were established by the time that any of the newer disciples showed up, especially Cytherea, that is unconfirmed. However, it took until at least 30 years after the resurrection, probably more, for all 16 of the disciples to gather.
A rough order of events during this time, some of which may overlap:
Original disciples resurrected
New disciples arrive
Lyctors ascend; Anastasia fails
Alecto is put in the tomb and Cassiopeia dies
The lyctors and Jod flee to the Mithraeum, leaving the system
Particular questions that remain and would help clarify things:
Were Anastasia, Samael, Cyrus, Valancy, and Loveday born or resurrected? It seems like Cytherea was likely born.
When did Anastasia have a child and found the tombkeeper line?
When did Pyrrha (or G1deon!Pyrrha) paint a nursury? Was it the same time she visited Anastasia "before she got settled" (Ntn 85)? Was Anastasia's child the birth she assisted at (Ntn 121)?
When was the ninth founded? When was the prison installation founded? Was there anything on the ninth before Anastasia was told to prepare for Alecto's imprisonment? Samael seems to have been born or resurrected after the ninth was founded, unless he was given his name later?
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After resurrection: Actual Numbers. Once we get like 100-200 years out from the resurrection, things start to get clearer. Not clear, but clearer.
100 AR: God names himself Gaius (Htn 521). Is this when Cytherea ascends, since she is given credit for the "naming oneself after one's cavalier" thing? Or was that some God bullshit?
200 AR: Alecto put in tomb (Htn 478)
4000 AR: source gram comes from sixth house to BOE (Htn 529)
5000 AR: BOE comes to the attention of jod and the lyctors; they may have existed beforehand but been unable to find the houses/be found (Htn 154). Augustine begins questioning the purpose of the empire (Htn 483).
Moving into the thousand years before the events of the series:
9000 AR/ 1000 BM: Matthias Nonius lives (Gtn 53)
750-700 BM: New Rho contract drawn up (Ntn 206)
519ish BM: beginning planning of dios apate major (Htn 474)
300 BM: Cyth gets angry (Gtn 402). Last contact between second and first houses (Gtn 456).
100 BM: Jod leaves the Mithraeum (Htn 81).
80 BM: Jod joins the Erebos (Htn 81)
40-39 BM: G1deon starts to really annoy Augustine, who speaking in 1 AM states: “He has caused me more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit" (Htn 268). I think Wake makes the most sense as an explanation for this, though it's off by about five years.
34 BM: Wake reinvigorates BOE (Htn 154). Ortus born? That’s a fun coincidence that means nothing.
30 BM: Mercy thinks Jod should have returned to the Mithraeum then (Htn 81).
25-24 BM: BOE finds out about resurrection beasts (Htn 275) because Wake talks to G1deon (Ntn 155)
21 BM: G1 begins his (final) pursuit of wake (Htn 469)
Sometime after 300 BM, most likely 20 BM, Cytherea teaches BOE about steles and obelisks (Ntn 155)
20 BM approximately, presumably, could be earlier: Augustine and Mercy talk to BOE. BOE gets accurate fleet schematics for the first time in a hundred years and eventually the location of the mithraeum, though those were probably earlier with Cytherea and two decades later with Cytherea!Wake respectively (Ntn 155)
19 BM: Isaac’s dad killed by terrorists on [redacted], presumably BOE (Gtn 459). Mercy and Augustine are “talking” (Htn 87); Dios apate major. Mercy sees Cytherea for the last time and Cytherea laughs so much she insults Mercy (Htn 120), which is an understandable response given that Mercy may have described the dios apate major plan and/or requested her involvement. Mercy sees Sarpedon as a young soldier (about 20 years PM; close enough and matches up with dios apate) (Htn 81).
19–18 BM: Wake dies (Htn 88). Gideon born. Creche massacre.
17 BM: Harrow born.
14 BM Gideon’s first escape attempt (Gtn 24)
13 BM: Gideon is not a necromancer confirmed (Gtn 24)
10 BM: Augustine sees Cytherea for the last time (Htn 120). Wake’s bones get put on rotation (Htn 476).
9-8 BM: Harrow is suicidal. Harrow opens the tomb. Harrow hears/sees the body. Onset of psychosis. Unclear in what order (Htn 49, 247).
7 BM: (Harrow is still suicidal but sees the body?). Harrow and Gideon fight (Htn 477). Gideon sees Harrow opening the tomb. Her parents kill themselves. Gideon gets nightmares about being in the tomb (Gtn 202).
5 BM: Harrow starts puppeting (?girl wtf?? What was going on in the intervening two years???) (Gtn 348). Last ninth house chaplains and adepts are lost in action (Htn 81).
2 BM: Gideon enters Drearburgh for the last time
1 BM: Number 7 estimated five years from the Mithraeum (Htn 125).
0 BM, with rough approximates:
Month 1-3: prepping for Canaan house
Month 4: Canaan house
Month 5: harrow throws up; Camilla nonverbal
Canaan house recovery missions from the emperor and BOE — what the fuck. Who got there first. How and why did they miss the other people. Seems like BOE got there, intentionally left H and I but took G’s body??????????
Month 6: Harrow and Ianthe arrive on the Mithraeum
Month 8: Harrow kills her 13th planet with Mercy. It’s desert and triple-sunned. Wake makes posthumous contact with BOE (Ntn 155).
Month 9-10: When Judith says she begins writing her report; she’s with BOE on a wooded double(potentially triple?)-sunned planet. At one point several weeks (or months?) later Mercy shows up. According to Judith, that is. Judith honey I might need to recuse your testimony for somehow being more of an unreliable narrator than the lobotomized traumatized psychotic unmedicated half-dead triple-haunted 201-souled Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Then I could bump this back to month 8 which would make more sense.
Month 10: Harrow catches G1d!Pyrrah with Cytherea!Wake
Between Month 10 and Month 12: Harrow turns 18. Harrow discovers G1d can drain thanergy. Harrow makes soup. Harrow makes Ianthe’s arm. Dios apate minor.
Month 12: Harrow finds Cam and Pal on a wooded planet and sees Judith. Judith tries to warn Harrow about Mercy’s involvement.
Mercy ditches her for unspecified business. I suspect this is when she meets with We Suffer? Was this when she heals Judith?
1 AM
Month 2: death of the emperor. Quick undeath of the emperor. Nona born(?)
Month 5: Station Red-As-Blood abandoned (Ntn 152). The demons show up on Antioch (Ntn 448).
Month (6?): Nona gets a job (Ntn 41).
Month 7: nona gets shot, cam/pal fusion reveal (Ntn 105 through the end of the chapter)
Month 8: events of Ntn
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Napoleonville [Chapter 1: The Fall-Down House]
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Series Summary: The year is 1988. The town is Napoleonville, Louisiana. You are a small business owner in need of some stress relief. Aemond is a stranger with a taste for domination. But as his secrets are revealed, this casual arrangement becomes something more volatile than either of you could have ever imagined.
Chapter Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), dom/sub dynamics, alligators, kids, parenthood, smoking, cupcakes!
Word Count: 7.2k (she's very chonky for a first chapter).
Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.
Since this is the first chapter of a new series, I'm going to tag a bunch of usual readers, but I won't tag you again unless you want me to. 💜
@persephonerinyes @tinykryptonitewerewolf @daenysx @babyblue711 @arcielee @bhanclegane @jvpit3rs @padfooteyes @marvelescvpe @travelingmypassion @darkenchantress @yeahright0h @poohxlove @trifoliumviridi @bloodyflowerrr @fan-goddess @devynsficrecs @flowerpotmage @thelittleswanao3 @seabasscevans @hiraethrhapsody @libroparaiso @st-eve-barnes @chattylurker @vagharnaur @moonlightfoxx @heliosscribbles @beautifulsweetschaos @namelesslosers @partnerincrime0 @burningcoffeetimetravel-fics @marbles-posts @maidmerrymint @backyardfolklore @dd122004dd @jetblack4real @joliettes @mariahossain @minttea07 @please-buckme @florent1s @tempt-ress @wintersire @w3ird11 @eltherevir @florent1s @maii777
Let me know if you'd like to be tagged! 🥰🧁
“What do you want to do to me?” you whisper through the phone, stretched out across your bed like a cat as George Michael’s Faith plays from the baby pink Panasonic boombox out in the kitchen. It’s late afternoon, and fading daylight falls in tiger stripes through the window blinds. The May air is hot, muggy, golden; cicadas hum in the southern live oaks, an ancient earthen music like rattling bones.
A few seconds pass before he can reply. It was a bold way to begin. You are admittedly a little impressed with yourself; an idea like this has been pacing around in your skull like a beast behind bars for years, but you’ve only now set it loose. “That’s difficult to explain in words,” he says; and in the low, teasing purr of his voice you can hear that your gamble paid off like striking oil. He has a British accent, which you never would have expected. You only recognize it from clips you’ve seen of Prince Charles and Princess Diana on 60 Minutes. “But I’d enjoy showing you.”
It’s laid open beside you on the bed, his personal ad in the Bayou Journal: Educated white male in his mid-20s. Single and not looking to change that. Seeking an open-minded, adventurous, and spirited lady for short-term D/s arrangement. Be prepared to answer the following riddle: I’m small but loom large, I’m Italian but French, I give away much to gain little. Who am I? Best regards, An Indecent Gentleman. “I’m waiting.”
“You understand what is meant by D/s?”
“Of course,” you say, your best feigned flippantness. You only know because Amir told you; he’s been daring you to call for three days.
“Thank God,” the man on the other end of the line sighs. There is an inhale like a drag on a cigarette. You imagine what he might look like: broad or slight, dark-haired or blonde, striking or average or homely, treacherous or safe, forbidden fruit or just plain forbidden. “I’ve had four different women ring me thinking I’m going to be their boyfriend, dinner and flowers and everything. They’re functionally illiterate down here.”
How unfortunate, you think. He’s highfalutin. But alas, no one is perfect. That’s no prohibitive obstacle. He doesn’t need to be faultless; it’s not as if you’re planning to marry the guy. “I like when someone else is in control.”
“Why?” This is a test, you can feel it. You can sense his rapt attention across the wire, through the electricity and the lush treetops and the rust-amber sky.
“I have a lot of…responsibilities in my real life,” you explain. “A lot of pressure. I make the decisions, I look out for other people. Sometimes I want to be the one who’s told what to do.”
“I can make that happen. And the riddle?”
“It’s Napoleon.”
The grin is sharp and triumphant in his voice. “Good girl.”
“He was short but an emperor. He was born in Corsica to an Italian family, but he ended up ruling over France. He sold off a bunch of French colonies to focus on conquering Europe and still couldn’t quite manage it. But the U.S.A. got this charming little corner of the world as part of the bargain.”
“You’re a historian,” the man says, sounding pleased.
“No sir, we all had to learn about him in school whether we wanted to or not.”
“Sir,” he echoes, tasting it, savoring it. You imagine a pink tongue flicking out to skate across his lips. Then he is abruptly cool, impersonal, businesslike. “Listen, I’ve got a scar down the left side of my face. It’s thin, it’s clean, but it’s noticeable. The eye is glass, although you can’t really tell unless you look closely. Is that a problem?”
A scar? Is he a veteran? A lion tamer? A motorcycle enthusiast? You try to remember what kinds of hobbies British people have. Isn’t there some kind of sport where men swing sticks around while riding horses? That sounds like it could put an eye out. Perhaps to your own surprise, you find that you are more intrigued than uneasy. Oh, you realize, dull like dawn through mist. I like him. I want him. Not just THIS, but HIM. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Brilliant. I don’t want to talk about it again.”
“That’s fine.” You hesitate. “There’s actually something I should tell you too.”
“Hm?”
The hum of his voice is arrogant, hungry. You try not to get distracted. Blood rushes hot and ashamed into your cheeks. “Um, well, uh, sometimes it’s difficult for me to…you know. Finish. Not when I’m alone, just when I’m with a guy. Especially if I’m anxious. And I don’t want to feel worried about faking it or making sure it happens or dealing with you getting offended or upset or whatever. Because it’s fine, really. It doesn’t mean I’m not having a good time. I’m just…stuck in my own head.”
There is a sound you can’t quite match to an expression, an exhale, a scoff. “Obviously I wouldn’t be mad at you. But you’ll come. I know you will. I’ll make you.”
And you’re flooded with a relief that you never dared to hope for. A confession spills out in a trembling whisper: “Please.”
“When?” he says, eager, urgent.
“I think if we don’t do it now, I’ll lose my nerve.”
There is a razor-thin pause, and then he asks for your address.
~~~~~~~~~~
You haven’t had a man in your bed in years; you are abruptly and unkindly reminded of this when you paw through the top drawer of your bedroom dresser and find only practical, deadly unsexy cotton Kmart underwear. You dash to the closet, yank open the squeaking door, and—tucked away in a cardboard box of winter clothes like sweaters and jeans, forgotten, needless—unearth a sprinkling of insubstantial silk and lace, all in luxurious gemstone hues: amethyst, ruby, sapphire, onyx, emerald.
“Oh, hallelujah.” You throw off your sunshine yellow shorts and tug on what were once upon a time your favorite panties. They don’t fit nearly as well as they used to; they fit horribly, in fact. They evaporate the thrill and leave nauseous trepidation in its place. “Oh God. Oh no. Oh no, oh no.” You steal a harried glimpse of the clunky black alarm clock on your nightstand. The flashing red numbers inform you that you have approximately ten more minutes until he arrives.
You jog pantsless to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of sweet tea—ice cold, bright with a squeeze of lemon juice—and pace back and forth across the wooden floor as you sip it. The pine boards slope at just the slightest angle; if you laid an apple by your feet, it would roll. The house is sinking. It was built at the turn of the twentieth century, but it won’t live to see the next. Ailing sunlight casts your shadow against the wall, mint green, spider-leg cracks inching through the paint. Outside cicadas buzz and doves coo in long, mournful whirrs.
You pick up the phone—pink to match the boombox that is now playing Poison’s Nothin’ But A Good Time—next to the refrigerator and dial with one finger, your other hand still clutching the frosty glass of sweet tea. It rings twice before he answers.
“Wassup?” Amir says distractedly. You can hear a commotion from his living room on the other side of town: his grandmother squawking, ambient applause, Wheel Of Fortune.
“Quick, what should I wear?”
“Huh?”
“The guy! The guy from the ad! I called the guy! What should I be wearing when he shows up?”
Amir cackles. “Ho, you must be truly desperate, why the fuck are you asking me?” There is some shrill protestation in the background. “Grandma, don’t you dare try to act like you’ve never heard that word before, we just rented Aliens.”
“You know what men like,” you plead.
“Not the straight ones!” And then, not to you: “Grandma, calm down. Grandma, Grandma! It’s my homegirl. She has an emergency. She’s got a man coming over and she doesn’t know what to wear. What did you wear for Pop Pop? What? What?! You expect me to believe you got seven kids out of that dude with just some old floral nightgown?! Prairie girl fabulous? Looking like you’re on your way to join the Donner Party? Okay, if you say so! Phyllis knows best!” Amir’s attention returns to you. “Grandma suggests a nightgown.”
You are skeptical. “That seems slutty.”
“You’re inviting some stranger over for an all-expenses-paid ride on the Pussy Express and you’re concerned about looking slutty?!”
He has a point. “Okay. Okay. Yeah. You’re right. Okay.”
“You wear that nightgown with confidence and you take that random kinky man directly to bed, do you understand me?” Amir orders.
“Totally,” you say, gulping sweet tea with a shaking hand.
“Good luck. I gotta go, it’s the Bonus Round. Hope you have a few rounds to tell me about tomorrow.” Then he hangs up.
Back in your bedroom closet, you find a black satin slip that runs to your ankles and flows like a ballgown. You put it on some nights when you’re feeling desirable, after a bath of bubbles and steam, candles and Madonna, freshly shaved legs and shimmering with Pond’s, when you want to lounge around daydreaming, when you want to remember the fantasies you once had about what your life might turn out to be. Now you wear it in the fading daylight, nothing underneath and golden sunbeams turning your skin to something that warms and glows.
You appraise yourself in your dusty dresser mirror, and you think: Not too bad, actually. You’ve had your hair up in a haphazard bun. You reach to take it down, then stop yourself. You like the wayward wisps, the I-don’t-care-too-much casualness. Your breathing is slow and calm again. There is a noise outside: tires crunching on gravel. Your glass of sweet tea, now mostly just ice cubes, is sweating on top of your dresser. You grab the glass, swipe the Bayou Journal off your bed, and take both to the kitchen counter, still speckled with flour, powdered sugar, flecks of cinnamon. Then you pad across the sloping wooden floor in your bare feet to open the front door. Amber dusk streams in; you can hear bullfrogs croaking and the hoots of the long-eared owl that lives in the collapsing, overgrown shed behind the house. Spanish moss hangs like cobwebs, like chandeliers. The tree swing rocks idly in the breeze. The first notes of You Shook Me All Night Long play from the kitchen boombox.
His car is red, sporty, with a logo on the grill that you don’t recognize, a series of circles intertwined like rings. He cuts the engine and steps out into the driveway as you watch from behind the screen, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed over your chest. He’s tall, trim, blonde, wearing Adidas sneakers and light-wash jeans and a Marlboro jacket that it’s far too hot for. He peers around, taking in the trees and the house through his black aviator sunglasses. He puffs one last time on a cigarette before putting it out on his own windshield and starting towards the porch. And immediately, primally, you crave him like water or air.
He climbs the groaning steps, splitting wood and rusty nails. You open the screen door to meet him in the threshold. And he takes off his sunglasses so he can look at you, stowing them in a pocket of his jacket, his gaze not wavering from yours, his lips not saying a word. Yes, he has a scar, but it doesn’t diminish him in the slightest. Yes, his left eye may be glass, but you wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t already told you. You’re too tangled up in the right. His iris is a brisk greyish blue, not like the ocean, not like the bayou, more like the sky before a hurricane, heavy with the threat of wind and rain. His face is strong, jarring, beautiful in a rare way. His full lips are curling into a grin.
At last, you speak first, an inane observation that feels somehow significant. “You found me.”
“I did.” He nods towards the large lavender sign out by the mouth of the gravel driveway. Hand-painted on it are the words Hummingbird Bakery and a logo that Amir designed, a hummingbird feeding on the frosting swirl of a cupcake as if it’s a flower flush with nectar. “You told me to look for the sign. That helped.”
“What kind of car do you drive? I don’t recognize it.”
“It’s an Audi Quattro.”
“Audi,” you repeat, like a hopelessly distant place, New York City or Los Angeles or Paris or the moon. “Is that British?”
“German, actually.”
“You’re from a very different world.”
“Yeah, I am.” His eye flicks up and down your body, black satin that curves and clings; his grin widens. “But I could learn to like yours, I think.”
You step back so he can follow you inside. The screen door shuts with a bang. Under the shadows, as the sun sets into the west, he unzips his Marlboro jacket and tosses it onto your living room couch. Underneath he wears a white t-shirt. We’re opposites, you think dazedly, wondering what he will taste like when he kisses you. He grazes his fingertips down the front of your throat, continues to your chest, stills when he hits the satin of your slip.
“You can tell me to stop whenever you want to,” he murmurs, and you breathe in his smoke and cologne and dauntless, dizzying self-assurance. “But until you say stop, I’m gonna keep going.”
Your heartbeat is drumming beneath his hand, part exhilaration and the rest nerves. You are afraid of disappointing him; you aren’t sure what to expect. “I don’t even know your name.”
“Aemond.”
Aemond. Foreign, like Audi, like Paris. You give him your own in return. He leans in, presses his hips to yours, denim and satin that you can feel his heat through. And you think he’s going to kiss your neck, or bite it, bruise it, mark it, claim it, claim you; but he only ghosts his parted lips from the edge of your jaw to your bare shoulder, inhaling slow and deep, drawing your atoms into his lungs until they tumble down the narrowest corridors and into his capillary beds, into his bloodstream. You moan softly, helplessly, and turn your face to kiss him.
“No,” Aemond growls, teasing you, catching your chin with one hand to hold you still. His other hand glides down the front of your slip and stops between your legs. Through satin the color of a starless midnight, his fingers stroke you roughly, commandingly. Animalistic yearning bolts low to weaken your knees, high to rip a gasp from your throat. “Nothing underneath,” he notes in approval.
Oh, I like him, you think, in equal parts ecstatic and petrified. I REALLY like him.
But are you going to be able to impress him too? Are you going to ruin this?
You whimper, unintentionally and almost inaudibly. Aemond is studying your face; furrows appear in his scarred brow, so faint and fleeting you might have imagined them. Then his hand retreats as he says: “Show me your toys.”
You gape up at him; this is not what you anticipated. “What?”
“I want to see how you make yourself come. You have toys, don’t you?”
“I do,” you admit, though you’ve never used them with anyone else before.
Aemond smirks mischieviously, then commands: “Show me. Right now.”
You lead him to your bedroom and slide open the middle drawer of your dresser. You glance at his reflection in the silvery glass of the mirror; he’s staring, not at your body but at your face, his gaze locked with yours, his mouth open, entranced, hungry. You move to stand against the wall, smiling sheepishly as Aemond shoves aside folded sheets and pillowcases to reveal your collection. It’s nothing too adventurous: five vibrators in different colors, styles, sizes.
“Quite the assortment,” he praises.
“They were gifts from a friend.”
Now Aemond is dubious. “A friend?”
“Don’t be jealous. He doesn’t like women.”
Aemond laughs, warm and boyish like he’s breaking character; and you are alarmed by the wave of fondness for him that crashes through you. It’s something that could pull you under. It’s something you could drown in. He picks up the largest vibrator: long, thick, pink like soft feminine vulnerability, like love. Then he is darkly, deliciously stern again. “On the bed.”
“No.” Not because you’re genuinely protesting. Because you want him to make you.
Aemond grabs you around your waist and drags you towards the bed as you squeal, giggle, fight him halfheartedly. He throws you down onto the wildflower-patterned duvet and climbs between your thighs, parting them as he pushes the hem of your black satin slip up to your waist. Abruptly, you are bare for him, exposed, fiery dusk air cool against your wetness. Aemond is still fully clothed, white shirt and pale blue jeans. He is holding your legs open with his own. You can see the bulge of his cock beneath the denim: at least as large as the vibrator and hard with insistent longing.
I want him, you think as you hear the vibrator click on. I want him, I want him…
Aemond brings the pink silicone tip to your flesh, and instantly you’re ravenous. It shocks you how much more erotic this is when someone else is holding it, when someone else has you entirely at their mercy. You cry out, loud and shameless, euphoric. Your back arches; your fingers twist into the duvet. As he presses the vibrator down more forcefully, Aemond braces his hips against yours, grinding into you through his jeans, taunting you, conquering you.
You fumble for the button and zipper of his jeans. “Please—”
“No,” Aemond snarls, beaming, snatching your hand and pinning it up by your head. His other hand is still circling your clit with the tip of the vibrator. “You haven’t earned it yet.”
“Aemond, please, I need you—”
“No,” he says, defiant. He makes the rules. He has the power; he’s in control. Suddenly, he pulls the vibrator away. You yelp in dismay. “You know,” Aemond quips cavalierly. “It’s a shame you have such a difficult time finishing when you’re with a man. I bet you’re not even close.”
“I am,” you whine, in agony, in ecstasy.
Aemond pretends to be surprised. “Hm.” He returns the vibrator to your skin, slick, hot, aching in the most wondrous way. You sigh as the pleasure surges through you, as you soar up to the previous plateau and then begin to ascend beyond it. You must have repositioned yourself without noticing; Aemond releases your hand to smack his palm against the inside of your thigh. “Keep your legs apart. I want you wide open for me.”
“I will, I promise.” I’ll do anything you tell me to.
Aemond’s hand ventures lower. Two of his fingers glide inside you and thrust in time with his hips. “Fuck,” he hisses, breaking character again; and something rocks through his shoulders, his spine, a divine temptation that he is battling.
“Aemond, more,” you plead, looking at the massive outline of his cock under his jeans.
“Not yet,” he pants, fucking you with his fingers as the vibrator hums against your clit. “You have to come for me first, baby. You have to earn it.”
And you’re close, you really are, you’re closer than you ever would have imagined you’d be with him tonight, this stranger, this elusive British man, this man from a personal ad in the Bayou Journal that you almost never replied to. Your hair has come undone and is wild around your face; your heart is pounding frantically; your skin is bathed in a sheen of victorious perspiration. When was the last time someone made you feel like this? You can’t recall; the answer might be never. There is a spellbinding, intensifying sensation of warmth, of opening, you’re only seconds from the brink, you’re ready to step off the precipice and into open blue air the same color as his eyes—
Aemond yanks the vibrator away again, grinning toothily down at you.
“No!” You scrabble for him with shaking hands, pulling yourself up as you reach for the vibrator. Aemond pushes you back onto the bed. Despite your protests, you love the feeling of his weight on top of yours; you love the organic symphony he’s built of, muscle and bone and skill and power. His fingers are still pumping in and out of you, keeping you soaked and throbbing, pinning you to the edge of an orgasm without permitting you to succumb to it.
“It’s going to be so good for you like this, baby,” Aemond insists, low and raspy. He’s reading your face, attentive to every detail, drinking up your desperate body and quivering voice. “I swear I’m not torturing you for no reason. Let me show you. Let me take care of you. When it happens, it’s going to blow your fucking mind. Are you ready?”
“Yes, now, please, do it now,” you whimper as you lie beneath him, open, bare, senseless, vanquished.
Aemond drags his tongue over the tip of the vibrator, moaning with lust as he tastes you. Then he at last presses the pink silicone to your clit once more. In your electrified nerves, in your scalding blood, there are sparks and momentum and currents rushing towards the cataclysmic breaking of a rogue wave. “Nice and slow,” Aemond murmurs. “Let it build.”
Instead of the peak, you reach another plateau, so high and so rapturous you can’t stand it, you can’t fathom climbing any farther. It’s becoming so sharp and intense it’s almost painful. Fresh anxiety flashes in your mind like lightning. The momentum begins to dissipate like dewdrops under the late-morning sun. Oh no, I’m going to lose it, I’m going to disappoint him—
Aemond lifts the vibrator off you again; before you have time to collect yourself enough to speak, to apologize, he’s slipped his fingers out of you and carefully guided the vibrator inside, stretching you, filling you, thrusting rhythmically but not too viciously or too deep. He places his thumbprint on the place where the vibrator was just seconds ago and circles quickly, once, twice, again, and then…
You try not to scream, but you can’t help it, can’t stop it; the climax wrenches out of you indescribable pleasure, vanished fears, awe and relief, twisted muscles and gasping breaths, every electrical impulse of every atom, and each time you believe it’s over it rolls a little farther like an endless summer afternoon. When it’s done—truly done—you aren’t sure exactly how it happens but suddenly you’re sitting upright on the bed and the vibrator is lying forgotten on top of the duvet and Aemond is laughing, kissing you—sweat and nicotine, smoke and salt—and caressing your face with his hands, saying: “You were such a good girl. You did amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
“Okay,” you exhale unsteadily, smiling. You nod to the very noticeable bulge in his jeans. “Your turn.”
“No,” Aemond says primly.
“What?”
“No,” he repeats. “Not today.”
“But…but…why?”
The curl of his lips is crooked and playful. “To prove I’m not just here to get myself off.” He kisses you again, far more tenderly than any random dom from a personal ad should. “You don’t trust me. But maybe next time you will.”
“How could I trust you? I don’t even know you.”
“We’ll have to spend more time together.”
“You seriously aren’t going to fuck me right now? Me? A mostly-naked stranger you met up with exclusively for the purposes of fucking?”
“Are you dissatisfied?”
In truth, no; your pulse is slowing, your thoughts are calm, your lust is satiated, you’re reasonably certain that you’ve sprained no less than four muscles. You feel like the sky after rain: emptied, unburdened, untroubled, at peace. “Not at all.”
“Then you shouldn’t be complaining.”
You reach out to touch Aemond’s unscarred cheek and he smiles. You try to ghost your fingertips over the left side of his face and he flinches away, leaves the bed, takes the vibrator to the bathroom to scrub it with soap and water. “Can I at least pour you a glass of sweet tea or something?” you call after him. “I feel guilty. I feel like I didn’t uphold my end of the bargain.”
“You exceeded all of my expectations,” Aemond says with a strange sort of somberness. “But sweet tea sounds great.”
You take five minutes to clean up and change into real clothes—ratty denim shorts and a red, white, and blue Pepsi t-shirt, chaotic hair, no bra—and then meet Aemond in the kitchen. He’s surveying the large circular table, which is littered with covered cake plates in a hodgepodge of sizes and colors; you found most of them at yard sales and thrift shops. The sun has set and the stars have risen; the kitchen is illuminated by yellow-hued florescent light. Night air flows in through the screens of the open windows. The boombox is currently playing Tiffany’s I Think We’re Alone Now.
“What’s the deal with that?” Aemond asks about the cluttered kitchen table.
“They’re the baked goods. For my bakery.”
“Right,” he says, remembering, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “The sign out front.”
“Would you like anything? Today we had butterscotch chiffon cake, coconut custard cake, blackberry dark chocolate cupcakes, pecan pie, red velvet brownies, lemon blueberry cookies, lavender black tea cookies, chocolate meringue pie, butter pecan muffins…”
“How about those?” He points.
“Oh! Those are banana bread cupcakes. One of my favorites.”
“Banana bread…cupcakes?”
“Here.” You plop one on a plate for Aemond, then go to the refrigerator to pour two tall glasses of sweet tea. “A lot of people put chocolate chips in their banana bread, but I feel like any chocolate really eclipses the banana flavor. It’s so subtle, you know? So what I do instead is cinnamon, honey, cream cheese frosting, and a tiny bit of sea salt mixed into the batter. If you get the ratio just right, there’s this really great blend of saltiness and sweetness, and the banana is still the star of the show. Of course I’ve fucked up plenty of times too and almost given myself dangerously high blood pressure. If I ruin a batch, I’m the one who has to eat it. We can’t let anything go to waste. Our profit margin is thinner than a crescent moon on the best months.”
“Oh my God,” Aemond says. He’s taken a bite and is now gawking at the banana bread cupcake. “You made this?” He gestures to the table. “You made all of this?”
“My best friend Amir runs the business with me, but most of the recipes are mine. My mom used to bake all the time when I was little. Now she has rheumatoid arthritis and has given it up, more or less, but that’s where I learned a lot of what I know. And I try to come up with new ideas each week to add to the rotation.”
“This is exceptional,” Aemond says. His mouth is full of the rest of the cupcake. He washes it down with a few gulps of sweet tea; ice cubes jangle in the misty glass. “This is, like, insanely good. Can I have another one…?�� He’s already lifting the cover off the cake plate.
You chuckle. “Yeah, seriously, have as many as you like.”
“How much do you sell them for?”
“The cupcakes are $1, but you don’t have to pay me. You get the unrequited orgasm discount.”
“Just $1 each.” Aemond is incredulous. You aren’t sure what that’s about. He sets the second cupcake down on the table, tugs a black leather wallet out of his jeans pocket, and gives you a $10 bill.
“Aemond, really, you don’t have to—”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. Take the money. Stop talking about it.”
You smirk up at him. “Is that an order, sir?”
He grabs your jaw with one forceful hand, kisses you roughly, bites your lower lip almost hard enough to draw blood. He tastes like cinnamon, honey, sugar, sex. “Yes,” he says, grinning wickedly. Then his hands drop to unbutton your shorts. The idea of stopping Aemond doesn’t even cross your mind; your desire for him—him specifically—is back, flaring red and primeval and irresistible. “I want you on top of that counter—”
Outside there are footsteps bounding up the front porch, loud on the creaking boards. You tear away from Aemond and hurry to re-button your shorts. What? Already??
You know exactly who it must be.
Well, now I’m definitely never going to see Aemond again.
He’s terrified, he’s wondering whether he should try to jump out of a window. But really, he’s already been spotted; his Audi Quattro is still waiting for him in the gravel driveway. “Please don’t tell me that’s your homicidal armed boyfriend or something.”
“No,” you say. “It’s my daughter.”
“Wait, your…?!”
The door swings open; you hardly ever lock it. Cadi trots in just as you are flipping over the copy of the Bayou Journal on the kitchen counter so Aemond’s personal ad is no longer visible. Instead, what now faces up—dotted with flour, powdered sugar, cinnamon, grease stains of butter—is a column about the rigs opened in Lake Verret. Just what this town needs, you think distractedly. An environmental disaster.
“Mom, whose radical car is that—?” Then Cadi spies Aemond and blinks at him a few times. She is ten years old but thinks she’s your age, short hair, short temper, denim overalls and a t-shirt underneath patterned with multicolored horses.
“This is Aemond,” you explain. He waves awkwardly and then resumes nibbling on his second banana bread cupcake, avoiding her scrutiny. “He’s a friend.”
“But you don’t have any friends,” Cadi replies.
“Watch it, Child Of The Corn. I have friends.”
“You have like one friend.”
“What happened to your sleepover with Mawmaw? I thought you were excited to trick her into watching Hellraiser.”
“Blockbuster didn’t have it. Then Great Aunt Ethel called and said she broke her hip. Mawmaw dropped me off here on her way to the hospital.”
“And she didn’t even think to check with me first, huh?”
“As if you’d have anything better to do.” Cadi races to the refrigerator—careening around a shellshocked Aemond—and heaves open the door. “What’s for dinner?”
“I think we have some Swanson’s meals left. Oh, and spaghetti.”
She narrows her eyes at you. “Who made it?”
“You’re in luck! Not me. Amir.”
“Yay!” Cadi trills, then drags out the pan and begins spooning mounds of spaghetti onto a plate. Aemond looks to you, intrigued.
You say: “I bake, I don’t cook.”
“She really doesn’t,” Cadi concurs.
“Completely different skillset.”
Cadi places a few paper towels over the heaping plate so sauce doesn’t splatter all over the microwave and then sets it to three minutes. As she waits to eat, she wanders over to where the Bayou Journal is lying on the counter and scans the page: Viserys Targaryen, three state-of-the-art oil rigs, Lake Verret, an additional 50 employees hired, Jade Dragon Energy. “Those bastards are going to get their way, I guess.”
You sigh. “Yup.”
Aemond is alarmed. He polishes off the last of his cupcake, frowning as he licks frosting from his lips. “You don’t approve?”
“They’ll blow up the whole town,” Cadi says matter-of-factly.
You smile wanly at Aemond as you sip your sweet tea. “You work for Jade Dragon, right?”
He stares back at you—stunned, perhaps even fearful, a deer flooded with headlights—but doesn’t speak.
“It’s alright. I figured you must. Some smart British guy way out here in Cajun Country? It’s gotta be for a job. Don’t worry. We won’t shoot and skin you or anything. It’s not your fault. You’re just collecting a paycheck, it’s not like you’re running the company.”
“Right.” Aemond grabs a third cupcake and gnaws at it. After a moment he adds: “I have a degree in petroleum engineering. I just moved to Napoleonville last week.”
“I knew it,” you say.
“Boo!” Cadi heckles jokingly. The microwave beeps, then she disappears into her bedroom with her plate of spaghetti. You hear Cadi turn on her little television and flip through the channels until she finds Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Aemond watches her closed door for a few seconds—still processing, you assume—and then turns back to you.
“Her name’s Katie?”
“Cadi. C-a-d-i. It’s short for Arcadia.”
He is impressed. “Greece?”
You titter nervously. You don’t know what he means. “It’s a town up by Shreveport, it’s where Bonnie and Clyde were arrested or killed or something. I’m not sure. Her father picked it.”
“You didn’t have an opinion?”
“Um, I wasn’t really…uh…conscious for a few days after she was born. By the time I was up and around again, he’d already filled out the birth certificate.”
What is that you see flicker across his face like the transient surge of a lightning bug? Curiosity? Apprehension? “I see. And her father is…” Aemond raises a blonde eyebrow, the one his scar cuts through. “On an aircraft carrier somewhere?”
You laugh. “He’s not deployed. We’re divorced, Willis lives about fifteen minutes down the road. It’s amicable.”
“So I don’t need to worry about him showing up on your front porch to murder me with a 2x4 full of nails.”
“No. Although he is the town sheriff.”
Aemond smirks. Is this a challenge or an inconvenience? “Why’d you two split up?”
You shrug, glancing at Cadi’s bedroom door. She is quite aggressive with her television volume; you’re confident she won’t be able to listen in if you keep your voice low. “It’s not that interesting a story.”
“I’m extremely interested.” And he sincerely appears to be, head tilted to the side, eyes fixed on you (though you know the left one sees nothing), thoughts whirling like storm winds.
“Well…we only ever got married because of…” You gesture towards Cadi’s room. Aemond nods, following along. “And I was too young and I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know what I wanted out of a man, I didn’t even know I had the right to set standards to measure a husband by. Willis wasn’t terrible. He didn’t hit me. He just wasn’t really who I wanted.” You chew at your lower lip, peering down at the kitchen counter, drawing circles in the sparse flour dust. “He never even proposed to me. Not properly, I mean. I told him I was pregnant and he said: Well, guess we oughta get married, huh sugar? and then drove me to the Kmart up in Gonzales to pick out a ring.”
“Classy,” Aemond mutters.
“I had to buy it myself, actually. Willis didn’t have enough cash on him. He paid me back later, but still. It wasn’t about the ring. I don’t need gold and diamonds. But I need someone who really sees me and understands me and chooses me, you know? I’ve never felt chosen. And I decided I didn’t want to settle for that. If I ever get married again, I want the whole goddamn thing. The real thing. I want the candles and the flowers and a boombox blasting Heaven Is A Place On Earth. And if that’s not in the cards, I guess I’m not the marrying type.”
“And you’ll make do with occasional visits from your friendly neighborhood dom.”
You grin up at Aemond. “Yeah, exactly.”
“You really hate Jade Dragon?”
“Companies like that…they just use us. Our land, our labor. And then when they decimate the place they pack up and disappear overnight, no pensions, no retirement, no unemployment, no meaningful cleanup, just Thanks for the millions! Bye! and we’re left to live in their filth.”
“That’s a rather cynical perspective,” Aemond says.
“It’s a realistic perspective,” you counter. “In 1965, there was a pipeline explosion in Natchitoches, in ‘79 there was an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, in ‘80 a Texaco rig accidentally drilled into a salt mine under Lake Peigneur and destroyed the whole ecosystem. Two weeks ago there was a refinery explosion an hour east of here in Norco. 4,500 people had to be evacuated from their homes. So no, the jobs sound nice, but in my humble estimation they’re not worth dying for.”
Aemond considers you, a look that is not patronizing or combative but not convinced either. And there’s something else too: a caginess, a nervousness.
“And these Jade Dragon people, the Targaryens? They have a history,” you continue. “I read about it in the Bayou Journal. Last year they had an oil spill at an offshore rig near Ketchikan, Alaska. They poured hundreds of thousands of barrels of poison into the ocean and killed a bunch of dolphins and whales and everything. Fishermen went bankrupt, people committed suicide.”
“Mistakes happen.” Aemond places his empty sweet tea glass in the sink.
“But they didn’t make it right. Their lawyers blamed a defective piece of equipment and kicked liability back to the manufacturer. They’ll be battling it out in court for the next decade. And meanwhile, the people of Ketchikan get nothing but misery. I don’t want Napoleonville to end up like that.”
Aemond gazes out the kitchen window and into the cicada-rattling night, faraway, pensive.
“But seriously,” you say, more casually now. “I get that it’s not your fault, Aemond. I don’t hate you or anything. You’re working for a living like anyone else. You can only do so much.”
He looks back to you and smiles vaguely. “I just go where they tell me to.”
“And that’s why you like to be in control when you’re with me.”
“Yes,” Aemond says; and on his face—strong, scarred, perfect—you can see that he is reminiscing, that he is planning what he wants to do to you next. But he can’t do any of it. Not here, not now.
“I’m sorry about…you know. The kid thing. I really didn’t think she’d be home tonight. I would never subject her to something like that, walking in to find a strange guy in the house. And I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable either.”
“It’s okay. I believe you.”
“I don’t usually do this. I’m sure you think I’m lying, but I’m not. I’ve had two boyfriends since I got divorced seven years ago, and both times it didn’t last long and Cadi never met them. And it wasn’t…like it is with you. The dynamic, I mean. The…control thing. They were just normal dudes.”
“And they couldn’t satisfy you,” Aemond says, taunting, proud, setting your blood on fire.
“No. They couldn’t. Not even close.”
You both stand silently in the kitchen amidst a cascade of inconsequential noise: Eurythmics from the little pink boombox, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from Cadi’s room, cicadas and bullfrogs and the long-eared owl from the world outside that is primordial and feral and green. For the first time in as long as you can remember, you feel not like the piecemeal potential of a desirable woman but whole. Aemond’s right eye traces every curve and edge of you in a way that makes you think: Maybe I will see him again after all.
“Come on,” you say, turning towards the front door. “I’ll walk you out.”
But when he steps onto the creaking porch—pulling on his Marlboro jacket, watching lightning bugs bloom like daisies in the yard—Aemond seems to be stalling. “This is lopsided,” he says, tapping the wooden boards with his Adidas sneakers.
“I know. The whole foundation is, it’s sinking. We’ll have to move eventually. But we’ve been in this place since Cadi was five, it has a lot of memories. She calls it the Fall-Down House.”
“Cute,” Aemond says, but he’s pondering something. “Do you own it?”
“Oh no, God no. We rent.”
“Are you saving for a down payment to put on a new house?”
This is a rude question. “A little,” you reply curtly. Not enough. You need to make money to save money.
“Okay.” Aemond senses your discomfort. He’s good at that; it’s an advantageous skill for a dom to possess, knowing when he’s approaching a limit long before you have to shut him down. He descends the porch steps. “I’ll be back for more of those cupcakes—” There is a shrill, alien hissing from out by the tree line. Aemond shouts and scrambles back onto the porch, throwing an arm in front of you to shield you from his enigmatic nocturnal adversary. “What the fuck was that?!”
“Just a gator,” you reassure him, amused.
“A what?”
“An alligator.” You show him the shadow that lurks beneath a young oak tree draped with Spanish moss. “She’s over there. Just stay on the gravel once you get off the porch.”
Aemond is puzzled. How does anyone live in this hellscape? his face says. “How do you know it’s a female?”
“She’s not too big, and she doesn’t bellow. But she sure loves to hiss.”
“I think alligators should have gone extinct with the rest of the dinosaurs.”
“Well, there’s a secret to dealing with them.”
“Yeah?”
You smile, skating your fingers into the sleeve of Aemond’s Marlboro jacket and up his forearm until you feel goosebumps rise on his skin. “If she gets mean, you just have to bite back.”
Aemond chuckles, turns your face towards his, kisses the apple your cheek…and then, for only a moment, his teeth close around the sensitive flesh there leaving a whirlpool of pulsing, forbidden heat. He whispers through your hair: “See you soon.”
“Will you?”
“Yes,” he says, severely now. It’s a commandment, it’s a need. “I absolutely will.”
Aemond leaves you, strides across the gravel driveway without glancing back, ducks into his car, lights a cigarette; you can see the rust-colored glow through the windshield as he takes a drag. You wait in a flurry of moths under the dim florescent bulb of the front porch until his Audi Quattro veers onto Route 401 and disappears.
I hope he meant it, you think as a lightning bug lands on your knuckles and illuminates there like the gemstone of a ring. I hope I’ll see him again.
Then you shake away the insect and go inside to see if Cadi wants to help you clean up the kitchen and get a brown sugar pie baked for tomorrow. As compensation, you’ll offer her the $10 bill Aemond gave you for the cupcakes.
290 notes · View notes
kittynomore · 4 months
Note
can you pls tell where to find snapperlou lore?? i Need more of this guy and his terror babies!!! they are so cute!!!!!
All the lore is in my brain and chats with @amevello-blue @debb987 @alicat54c
But the thing that started this was me, kaiju-ing raph to 12ft 5tons and being told that he cant rough house or be carried freely, which made me sob wildly and au-ed the eldest brother
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like i said on the post THIS -^ is the reason snapper lou au exist. I just want to shower Raph with all the love
Me: i will create the most genetically feral babies and will create a dad that can survive them.
the babies are feral and wild and full of energy by being super solders: they can shed but it isnt itchy for them it just happens, the kids play with Lou's shedded scutes. they cant brumate coz it wont make sense for them to given they were supposed to destroy humanity, hence having mammalian teeth, that another thing they can and will eat anything and everything. The only reasons the boys hasnt eaten eachother is coz; Raph is the sweetest baby that ever existed and would rather starve then eat his brothers. Dee can and will eat any of them tho, the reason he cant is Raph is simply too large and i made Lee chonky in this au to rough house with Raph and stop Dee from eating him. Lee would rather get all the attention then eat tbh, but that wont stop him from eating EVERYTHING, he is my beloved gassy baby coz of it. Angelo..... Dee tried to eat Angelo and almost succeeded. That's why Angelo is in the shell pocket, so he won't get eaten, That's also why Angelo is the only one that wont eat anything but human food coz he is more used to it.
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During rise story timeline: Lou is 25ft 10tons Raph is 12ft 5tons, Dee is 7ft 680kg, Lee is 6'8ft 700kg, Angelo is canon height (coz tiny Angelo will never not be funny to me) April is also canon height coz she amazing as she is.
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oh and since y'all are wondering about Dee's eyes. Ame wrote ONE line and his design is like that now. dw he'll grow into them
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Ame: endless eyes me: what if big
that's how Dee got his eyes. One flavored text and i runned with it and refused to be caught
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my spear shaped son
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feybeasts · 3 months
Note
QUICKLY: ideal trail mix for BIG dragons
(question isn't actually urgent feel free to get creative with it)
OH OH OH VERY GOOD ASK A+ ASK MY FRIEND- IDEAL BIG DRAGON TRAIT MIX FOR ME IS AS FOLLOWS:
THICK freakin tail- wide, tall, length depends on taste, but it's gotta be Inconveniently thick, as a wise follower said recently, "tails are the boobs of dragons"
Of course we won't beat around the bush, gotta have a big ol' tum- I think ideally you got a round one that is squishy, but not quite flabby, something with some give, that does the crocodile thing where it spreeeeads out when they lie down
Speaking of- thick neck! It's actually funny, for someone known for drawing real round faces, I actually think dragons are best served when the roundness of their heads are more neckfat than anything else, especially since you got that good ol' wedge face going on already usually
SCUTES- love love love back scales, especially when they kinda trace the shape of back rolls and such, I always find it really visually pleasing
STOCKY limbs- short, plump, built like a tree trunk, they gotta ride that line between powerful and chonky, ideally it's hard to tell where a forelimb ends and a paw begins
While I'm ambivalent about whether or not someone feels like giving a dragon boobs, that's up to them, I do love when you get that fun interaction of thick neck, chest, and shoulders, there are so many fun shapes and lines you get outta that whole area
LARGENESS- by that I mean, if you really wanna make a Big Dragon that blows me away, it's not so much in how heavyset they are, but their SCALE in relation to the world around them- love when an already-large dragon is a gentle giant or a chill behemoth, something about a creature so big and powerful being downright chill despite its capacity to be Not Chill is just A++++ peak vibes for me
These are my Criteria, and they're ones many of your own critters hit perfectly!!!
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fairy-hub · 8 months
Note
Baby Gumi and Baby Yuuji be like:
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I like an AU where Yuuji and Gumi knew eachother in Kindergarten
Yuji is that happy go lucky toddler that is messy and always smiling. Megumi si the total opposite lining up his cars, having his things neat and crying
They are at they age where Gumi needs to learn he can’t hit. That won’t stop him from raising his chonky little baby hand and smacking Yuji. Who despite the wacky is never put off by Megumi. Making Yuji Gumi’s closest friend.
189 notes · View notes
azurevi · 1 year
Text
wild roses
pairing: leona x gn!reader, heavy jack & reader (reader = prefect)
summary: ace and deuce’s matchmaking plan for valentine’s day goes wrong, and both you and leona realize that something needs to be changed in your relationship. (fluff, secret relationship, bad matchmaking, possibly ooc leona 😔) 9k (chonky)
note: HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!!! ok. first of all, jack is there for like, a majority of the fic because i felt bad just using him as a plot device and decided to write more about his interaction with reader. but it’s still somehow centered around leona and reader. secondly, this is like really messy but i didn’t have time to flesh out everything i already had to cut down on what i originally planned 💀 hope y’all enjoy it anyways ^^
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“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Ace.” Deuce rubbed his chin, looking between the redhead and the wrinkled paper titled ‘ The Foolproof Matchmaking Plan: 2023 ’. He wasn’t sure if he should be more concerned about the content or the implication that this could become an annual thing.
“No, no, you don’t understand,” Ace was pacing and gesticulating. “This will work for sure, because we already know for a fact that there’s something going on between the prefect and Jack. All they need is a little push!”
“Do we though? I mean, we could’ve misinterpreted everything. Not to mention how much trouble we’ll be in if the plan falls through.”
“Sure, both of them are going to whoop our asses if it fails, but if it works, we will appear in their wedding speeches. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. If you really need concrete evidence, turn to the back of the paper.”
Deuce did as told, and found another list scribbled on the page.
Undeniable signs that they are into each other (in case Deuce acts like an idiot and doubts my plan) 
The prefect is always spending time at the Savanaclaw dorm. There must be a reason they choose it over Heartslabyul, where TWO of their best friends reside.
Last time we went over, we literally found a Savanaclaw uniform mixed in the prefect’s laundry. They're already dating in all but name!
Asked the prefect last time what their type was: tall, strong, has a secret soft side. Who else fits all the criteria if not Jack?
They're always talking among themselves when we’re hanging out as a group. 
They always have this stupid lovesick look on their faces whenever they get a notification. I bet my lunch money they're texting each other.
T
“T?” 
“Trein confiscated it before I could finish writing that line.” He scratched his head. “The point is, the signs are right in front of us! Or are you so blind that you can’t see it?”
“I'm not blind-”
Ace sighed. “I know that you don’t have a lot of experiences when it comes to romance, but still-”
“Wrong! I had a whole group of admirers back when I was… ugh. Nevermind, it's not something I'm proud of. I am capable of picking up signs of romantic interest, and my expertise tells me… that you are right. They are interested in each other!”
How gullible. Ace had to stifle his urge to laugh. “I am honored that you deem my opinion valid, oh great romance expert. So are you on board or not?”
Success was pretty much in the bag, but he asked nonetheless, watching as Deuce struggled with his conscience. Finally, with a stern look, he nodded. “I’m in, for the happiness of my friends. When do we carry this out?”
Ace straightened his spine, snatching the paper out of his hands and straightening it. With a sly smirk, he said, “Tomorrow, Valentine’s Day.”
———
The school had this ‘candy delivery’ thing going on for Valentine’s Day, and you happened to have garnered enough secret admirers that the organizers had to pack your sweets into a basket. As soon as you'd gotten it from your locker, you hugged it close to yourself and rushed into the room owned by the Gargoyle Research Society. Malleus was the only one who used it anyway, and he’d long ago given you the permission to enter as you pleased.
Anticipation coursed through your veins as you rummaged through the pile, looking for one specific note. You weren’t sure whether Leona had participated in something like this— chances were he would've considered it ‘an asinine way to help cowards confess their feelings’— but it didn’t stop you from hoping.
After putting aside a few chocolates and their atrocious pick up lines, you finally found the one you’d been looking for. It was a single candy wrapped in a yellow wrapper, and it looked like the kind of stuff teachers gave out to kindergarteners who answered questions in class. 
A note was stapled around it. You unrolled it to find a familiar handwriting. 
Happy Valentine’s Day. Although this event appears to be an asinine way to help pathetic cowards confess their feelings, I reckon that I should still give you something since you mentioned looking forward to it. I will meet you at Ramshackle tonight, 8pm sharp. — Leona 
With a smile curling your lips, you ripped the wrapper and popped the candy into your mouth. The fruity sweetness coated your tongue as you pulled your phone out.
The line rang for a few seconds before it got through. “Hello?” He husked.
“Good morning, is this Mr. Kingscholar?”
“Cut it out.” It sounded like he was shuffling in bed. “I take it that you’ve received the candy thing?”
“Yup. And the invitation. Have you just woken up?”
“Thanks to you, yes.” 
Rapid knocks appeared in the background, and he cussed under his breath.
“Is that Ruggie?” You chuckled.
“Yea. He’s about to break the door. I’ll see you tonight, ‘kay? Don’t forget about it.”
“As if I would. I’ll make sure the coast is clear when you arrive.”
“Yea,” he said with a hint of hesitation, as if he was taken aback by your words. “Okay. Bye.”
Having to sneak around and meet up was nothing new to you. From the very beginning, you’d agreed to keep your relationship under wraps. 
While his brother was usually preoccupied with more crucial matters, Leona was still a royalty, and words spread like wildfire in this school. People were bound to talk if he were to be seen with a romantic partner, and they were probably going to tell their mothers, who would tell the other mothers, on and on until the media caught wind. Then the chamberlains would get involved, eventually alerting his brother.
Knowing Farena, he'd probably make a fuss of you, demanding a dinner and a private audience. On top of that, all kinds of reporters would be knocking on the door, trying to get a candid photo of you two. If that happened, his chances of getting a good sleep would drop to zero. Or worse, they would bring unnecessary burdens to you.
As for you, your reasons were simple: your friends would never leave you alone if they knew of your love life. Ever since they'd noticed the different air around you, they'd been not-so-subtly trying to figure out whether you were seeing someone. They were definitely going to tease the living hell out of you once they figured it out, so you’d rather dodge all the troubles.
Plus, it was pretty nice to have this quiet little thing going on between you, just that it's hard to pretend like you didn’t want to throw yourself at him in the corridor sometimes.
Really, it’s nice.
Despite your intention to maintain discretion, so far two people had already blown your cover. The first was Ruggie, no surprises there. The second was Jack, who walked in on your napping session at the botanical garden. (That one’s on you, you’d totally forgotten to be discreet.) 
Both of them were trustworthy friends, so it didn’t bother you. But if someone like Ace or Deuce was to find out…
A chill crawled down your spine.
As if on cue, you heard their voices outside and hurriedly stuffed the note into your pocket.
“Where did they go?” Deuce asked.
“I don’t know, man. Maybe they went back already?”
“Let’s just call them.”
You scrambled to mute your phone, but Deuce was faster. The ringtone penetrated the silence in the hallway, and not a second later, the door was opened.
“Hey, guys.” You smiled innocently.
“What are you doing here?” Ace poked his head in, a knowing look dawning on his face. “Ahhhh, I see. Are you perhaps looking for candies from a special someone?”
“Nope.” You stood up and hung the basket around your elbow. “I was just checking to see if one of you guys would give me something. The result is heartbreaking, by the way.”
They shared a suspicious look. 
“Allow us to piece your heart back together then. We have a mission from Sam.” Deuce fished out a piece of folded paper from his jacket. “Gotta pick up something from town.”
“Great. Let’s go.” You wiped the invisible dust from your pants. It was always a treat to be able to leave the campus, and the trip might give you an opportunity to buy some flowers for tonight's date.
“Nuh-uh, not so fast.” Ace threw his arm around your shoulder. “We are going to make a stop at Savanaclaw.”
———
Ruggie was the first to greet you as you stepped out of the mirror, a large sack swung over his shoulder. He looked like Santa Claus. “Morning! Are you looking for Leona?”
“Nah, we’re here for Jack.” Ace said.
“Then he should be in his room.” Ruggie pointed vaguely behind himself, and your friends headed over, leaving you two alone.
“You’re quite the popular hyena, aren’t you?” You jutted your jaw at the bag.
“This? Nah. I just collected them from people who don’t like sweets.” He eyed your basket. “Any chance you’re one of them?”
“I mean, I’ve already got the one I want, so…” you handed him the whole thing, and his grin grew wider. Grim would've whined about it if he'd been here, but he was too busy getting his fill at Kalim’s.
“Touche. Between you and me, Leona actually spent days ruminating on what to do for Valentine’s Day. You didn’t hear it from me though.”
Thank the heavens no one was around to catch your lovestruck expression.
Speaking of the devils, Ace and Deuce promptly returned with Jack. Trailing behind by a few steps was a grumpy Leona. His eyes spotted you first, softened around the edges, before returning to drill holes in the back of Ace’s head.
Jack greeted you as soon as you were all standing together. “We’re running errands for Sam right? Let’s get to it.”
“Yes-”
“Not so fast.” Leona spoke over Deuce. “I’m coming. Jack can stay.”
“Woah, Sam’s permit only says our names, so technically you can't be off schoolground.” Ace waves the paper in the air, passing him a pointed look.
“I don’t care. There's no way I'll let you trouble magnets go out on your own.” 
“Relax, we’re not that unruly. Plus Jack's here, he’s our voice of reason.” 
Jack nodded firmly. “That’s right, I’ll make sure they don’t fall out of line.”
The irritation on Leona’s face was indisputable. Something was definitely going on in his head. 
“Be real here, why would you even want to come with us? You don’t care if we got into trouble.” Ace scrunched his face into a frown.
Leona stared down at your red-haired friend before his gaze moved to you, unreadable yet solemn. Perhaps he was anxious that you couldn’t make it back in time for the date.
“Don’t worry, we will be back before it gets dark.” Your addition seemed to be making things worse for him. He clicked his tongue and swiveled around, tearing himself away from this mess. 
After some contemplation, he bit out, “Fine, go have your fun.” 
With that finally settled, Ace and Deuce ecstatically looped their arms around Jack’s and your elbows, as if preventing you from running away, and hopped into the mirror. The last thing you saw was Leona mumbling something to Ruggie and the drop of the hyena’s jaw.
———
The townspeople took Valentine’s Day a lot more seriously than you’d expected. Bakeries had all kinds of pastries displayed readily to the lengthening queue, and customers swarmed into flower shops in hope of grabbing the last bouquets available. Even booksellers decided to join in on the fun, slapping discounts on all romance novels and comics alike. Just around the corner, a few buskers were playing some sappy love songs on their guitars in front of a thin audience.
“It’s like a whole festival here.” You commented as you weaved through the crowd with Jack. He was tall enough that you didn’t have to worry about losing him in the waves. Meanwhile, Ace and Deuce were keeping up from behind, engrossed in their own conversation. 
“I agree. I didn’t expect Valentine’s Day to be such a big deal.” He said.
“You’re not the kind of people who think it unnecessary, are you?”
“Not really. You can express your love any other day, so it’s kind of pointless from that point of view, but I guess it’s a good opportunity for people to confess their feelings.”
“I also like to think of it as a reminder for people to show their love more bravely.” You caught sight of a heart-shaped chocolate the size of a cauldron through a shop window. “...Though it can also become an unfortunate tool for capitalism.”
“I assume that you will be celebrating?”
You sensed what he was hinting at. “Yup, after some convincing. By the way, is it just me or are Ace and Deuce acting a bit weird today?”
“I thought I was the only one.” He looked back briefly, though he couldn't spot anyone with their distinctive hair colors. They were probably just distracted somewhere. “They barged into my room and told me to dress up. Who dresses up to run errands?”
Evidently he went along, seeing as how he was wearing a white dress shirt instead of his usual comfy t-shirts. 
“You don’t think they’re pranking us, are they?” 
“I wouldn’t put it past them.”
Just then, your phone vibrated in your pocket. You tugged at Jack's sleeve to pull him to the side of the road. It was a rare text from Leona.
Leona: where are you?
You: just got into town
You: good thing you didn't come along, you would've gagged at the amount of lovey-dovey stuff here
Leona: so you don't know
You: ?
He spent a few seconds typing and re-typing. In your wait, you looked up and found your two friends still missing.
Leona: they're trying to set you up with jack.
What.
What the heck.
Your thoughts sped up. The picture started coming together in your head. No, it made sense. Them insisting that Jack came instead of Leona, literally telling him to dress up? 'Allow us to piece your heart back together'? All of their actions verified Leona's words. 
You: damn, ur right
You: wait, how did you figure it out?
Leona: they told me in my face when they ran into me just now. said that they were going to be matchmakers and put an end to your 'endless pining'
You: -_-
So that's why he was acting all frustrated back there. You stole a glance at Jack, who was trying to call your friends, albeit to no avail. He was definitely not going to like what he was about to hear.
You: at least we now know of their absurd plan. i'll tell jack
Leona: k
You: are you upset?
Leona: no. even if i were, i would only be upset with your nosy friends
Leona: just make sure to come back on time. you were the one who wanted to celebrate vday after all
You: roger that :)
"Was that one of them?" Jack asked as you pocketed your phone.
"Nope. You can stop calling, by the way. They're not going to answer."
He frowned as you pulled the shopping list out of his hand. "Why?"
"Because they left us alone on purpose. They're trying to play cupid." You waved the unfolded paper in front of his face. He read the content carefully before sputtering. In his head, he tried to put two and two together. The moment it all clicked, his shoulders tensed. "No way."
It was an actual shopping list from Sam, stamped by him and all, but the items were absolutely ludicrous, not to mention obvious. Roses, jewelry, plushies… and the definite proof that he was in on it, or was at least held at gunpoint as he drafted the list: the line ‘Treat yourself, little imps! Everything’s on me’ at the bottom of the page. Despite its absurdity, it was also a binding term. If you failed to get everything as instructed, he had the right to report you for leaving the campus and skipping some classes without a justified cause.
Not that he would, right?
As much as you hated to admit, there didn't seem to be a way you could get out of this mess.
"What do we do?" He shook his head. "I don't even know how they got the idea of bringing us together. And you were supposed to spend the day with Leona, not me. This is so messed up-"
"Hey, it's okay. Leona already knows. He was the one who told me."
He blinked at you blankly. "Is he going to come after me?"
You let out a laugh. "Not on my watch. Look, how about we just go along with it and get everything on the list? Then we will head back on time and I can have my date with Leona. After that we can dangle Ace and Deuce upside down outside Ramshackle."
Jack turned to the crowd, donning his deep-in-thought look. You could almost see the cogwheels moving in his brain, trying to find a way to avoid this. There was none. He shook his head at last, "Alright, let's get the stuff as soon as possible."
———
After deciding that you would buy the roses first, the two of you ventured through the streets to find a less packed flower shop. As you strayed farther from the center of the town, the number of pedestrians dwindled, and soon you could walk side by side without being bumped into and feeling your shoulder dislocate.
The silence between you was not awkward, but it was stretched, begging to be filled. Jack had always had the habit of using his words sparingly, believing that actions spoke louder, but this was different. You could tell that he was on edge, eyes darting around as if trying to catch every passing shadow, hands stuffed in his pockets, tail swishing stiffly. 
He was uncomfortable. And he was acting like he wasn't, because that's what he'd been saying for the past thirty minutes. Eventually you gave up, opting to protect that tense little bubble surrounding you.
As much as you'd like to argue that this wasn't how you usually interacted, you realized that you couldn't. Truth was, you seldom hung out outside of a group setting, and even when you were alone, it was usually for matters like how he could help cover you up as you left the group to find your favorite lion, and homework. 
To be frank, you didn't know that much about Jack.
A humble little shop was chosen at last, but even it had quite the amount of customers loitering around, most of them attempting to conceal their last-minute anxiousness. You assumed that they must've forgotten to buy something beforehand. 
"How may I help you, lovebirds?" A tall woman with baby-blue glasses greeted you enthusiastically. Jack tensed up like someone had just stepped on his tail.
"Would you happen to have red roses?" You asked instead.
"Oh, of course. How many would you like? A lot of couples go for a hundred, but the really earnest ones go for as much as two. You two look quite sweet together, perhaps you would–"
"We're not," Jack rushed to say. "We're not a couple."
"Oh," the shopkeeper squinted at you. "Ohhh… it's like that, huh? In that case, you should take a look at this guide," she pulled out a laminated sheet and slid it across the wooden counter.
It was a comprehensive guide to the number of roses and all of their meanings, from one to twenty, then skipping to hundreds and thousands. 
"Who would buy three thousand roses?" You whispered to Jack.
"I don't know," he said. "How many should we get?"
Most of the numbers carried love declarations, but there was one that fit. "How about thirteen?" 'Friends forever'.
"Looks good."
"Alright, we'll get thirteen," you gave the sheet back to the lady. She checked your choice briefly, looked up, lifted her glasses with her index finger, then nodded meaningfully. 
"Alright, thirteen red roses coming right up. You can fill this up while you're waiting." She handed you another white card and a black marker to be put together with the bouquet. The vaguely printed words instructed you to write some 'sweet words for your beloved'.
When you turned to Jack for help, he looked like he was going to run out of the shop at any given moment.
"Hey, is everything alright?" You questioned. "And don't lie to me, I can tell."
He ruffled his snowy hair, averting his eyes. "I apologize. It's just… I'm not very comfortable with all this coupley stuff."
You nodded slowly, contemplating his words. 
"It's not you, don't worry, it's just…" he shut his eyes, trying to escape the embarrassment. "You're Leona's partner, and I'm just a friend. It feels wrong to do all this with you."
Oh. Oh. 
Shit. You almost felt bad for not figuring that out by yourself. Jack, even after everything, still looked up to Leona as an accomplished role model. Not to mention he was his dorm leader and a literal force to be reckoned with. He probably thought that he was crossing some lines. 
Maybe he was. Perhaps there were unspoken rules among beastmen. And lions were known to be protective of their own pride…
When you thought about it this way, it wasn’t hard to see why he felt like a fish out of water at all. 
You tapped the marker against the counter. You never imagined that dating Leona would inadvertently cause Jack to be extra careful around you, but now that you knew, you were determined to thaw the ice. “How about we treat this as a normal, friendly hangout?” 
He arched his brow, clearly finding the idea of pretending you weren't surrounded by romance-centric decorations all around you unrealistic.
"Valentine's Day is just an excuse to promote love anyways, and love is not limited to romance, you know?" You took off the cap on the marker and started scribbling. "I can write some sweet words for you as a friend too. For one, I admire your unerring determination and your strong morals. There you go."
There was still uncertainty shimmering in his eyes as he took in your written words, but eventually he nodded. "Fine, I'll give it a try. I admire your bravery and courage."
"Aw, thank you, my dear friend." You elbowed him playfully, and he stifled a grin. 
"Here's your order, darlings!" The shopkeeper came back with the roses hugged by a pink wrapping paper. It looked like she was trying very hard not to peek at what you'd written down on the card.  You paid for the flowers and passed your thanks before heading out to the next mission.
“The best pastries in town… should we go to the pâtisserie Vil mentioned before?” Jack suggested. You agreed in a blink; it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to crown it the best among its competitors in the world.
Though on second thought, it didn't seem like a feasible idea after all. A dense group of exasperated customers had blocked the front of the shop, so much so that you could only see the boss' hands waving in the air like a drowning man's. Everyone's voices overlapped, but you could make out some common protests: not enough, waited for a long time, unfair, et cetera. 
"-ys. GUYS!" The boss' squeaky voice somehow managed to calm the ocean of complaints. The whole street dropped to silence at his command. "We are really sorry, but this is the only one we have left!"
"Then you should've baked more!' A gruff voice yelled.
"Maybe you should've ordered earlier!" The boss countered. "Anyways, I know y'all aren't going to leave me alone anyways, so to be fair," he made an air quote. "I'll let y'all fight for it. Whoever is the best at arm wrestling gets the last piece."
You turned to Jack. He bobbed his head knowingly.
Immediately, people got into groups and looked for any kind of flat surfaces– the outdoor seats of a nearby restaurant, the top of the pâtisserie's empty display case. Two men were laying on their stomachs on the gritty pavement. The crowd dispersed like ants under a rock, desperate to get that final piece of cake.
Jack grimaced. "I fear Valentine's Day is driving people insane."
"Hopefully not us." Bowing forward, you tried to take a look at the pâtisserie's sole survivor. An opening between two struggling contestants revealed that it was a piece of fruit cake.
"Pear compote." Jack blurted out.
"What?"
"That's pear compote dripped on top."
There was a distant… longing in his eyes. "Is that what you like?"
"It's my favorite. It's just the right amount of sweet, it's versatile, and my mum used to make it all the time. Everyone in my family likes it, in fact. I wish I'd brought a few more jars with me."
"Well, I'm sure we can get you the cake. I don't think there's anyone who can beat you in arm wrestling."
"No. There's one."
You crooked your brow.
He tipped his head back, staring at the sky as he relieved the memory. "Back then, Leona beat me effortlessly even after I used my unique magic."
"Whaaat." You dragged out the word. "For real?"
"I couldn't believe it at first too. It was humbling, to say the least."
"I bet I can beat him though." You mused. 
He exhaled sharply. "This is a battle of physical strength, not running head first into troubles."
"Unprovoked. But it's also a battle of wits. There's quite a few of his weaknesses I can use." The random theory took a contemplative turn as you started counting the cards up your sleeves: Leona might look like he had a rock for a heart, but you pulled a rare reaction from him the first time you called him your king. Caressing the back of his ears always elicited honest shivers. Would a smothering look or a wink catch him off guard? Hopefully he wouldn't mind you experimenting on him.
"You're probably one of the very few people who can say that." Jack shifted his weight to his other foot, briefly scanning the progress of the contestants before adopting a low voice. "I hope you don't mind me asking, it's been on my mind for some time now. How did you actually end up together? I'm aware that you got close after the Magift tournament, but the rest was a mystery… Nah, forget it. I shouldn't violate your privacy."
"I don't mind sharing," you reassured him. "Obviously it wasn't easy. He barely cared about me at first, even after the tournament, but I was determined to get to know him. There's no shell I can't crack, after all. He's strong and fierce and self-assured, but I also sensed that there was a brightness inside him that got snuffed out over time. I'm sure you're aware too. 
Anyways, the more we opened up to each other, the more I realized that he's not who he seemed to be on the surface. He's caring in his own way, and he's unfaltering when he has his mind set on a goal. His words may appear sharp, but he's not unsympathetic. Despite his arrogance, he's not so full of himself that he can't admit his faults. Where no one noticed, he was the one who found out that I was feeling out of place here… I got to know so many new sides to him. To be honest, I wasn't planning to fall in love, but this kind of thing just happens, like soft knocks on the door."
A tall woman marched past you, cursing loudly after losing her game. You stepped aside, realizing now that Jack had gone quiet. "Sorry for rambling, I got caught up in myself."
"Don't apologize. I think that it's sweet," there was a hint of a smile on his face. "You looked like my sister whenever she sees a pink morning sky just now. It's great to have someone you can rely on wholeheartedly. I'm sure he feels the same about you."
You were certain of that too. "Aw, stop. You're making me embarrassed." You punched his arm without a concern for your force; he probably didn't even feel it. 
The various battles seemed to have narrowed down to a few. The boss was standing in front of two straining men, faces red with blood, veins bulging on their necks. A battle cry forced its way out of one of them, only for him to be overwhelmed immediately. His body was loose as his boyfriend dragged him off the ground.
"Jeez. Alright, is there anyone else?" The boss asked. The victorious guy smashed his fists together, shooting silent warnings at anyone who was bold enough to even consider challenging him. No one moved.
"Me." Jack stepped forward, and you did a small, encouraging whoop from behind. The man glared into his eyes. He wasn't a lot shorter than Jack, and their physiques were similar, but you had faith in your friend.
"Start whenever you want, I'm getting sick of this." The boss mumbled.
Jack bowed his head respectfully before positioning his elbow on top of the counter, flexing his fingers. His rival mirrored him, assuming a strong grip on his hand. 
It started without a countdown, like they managed to communicate with facial expressions alone. All around you were held breaths as they struggled against each other–
–for one second. Jack immediately slammed the man's arm down like he was flipping a book.
"What the hell?" He cried out, holding his wrist in disbelief before making a run for it, as though in shame. 
"Congrats, you've won the cake!" The boss feigned enthusiasm. When the bystanders booed, he resumed his annoyed scowl, "Go home! It was a fair game!"
"That didn't go as expected," Jack told you as you watched the cake enter the safe protection of the corrugated box. "But I'm glad we won."
"All thanks to you. I didn't even get to chant my slogan. We will, we will, rock you-"
"Please stop."
"Okay." 
Laughter bubbled out of you a second later. Even he failed to hold in the titters that slipped past his lips as he shook his head. The ice was melting away already.
Jack volunteered to hold both the bouquet and the cake, so you took on the role of navigation. "Next up, we need to buy jewelry. I know a place."
It was a chain store of a brand Vil had not only done promotion for, but also personally approved of, so the quality was sure to be high. But so was the price. 
The two of you stood silently in front of the suited employee who went by Eris, staring unblinkingly at the silvery chains in the vitrine. The price tags glared back at you, who looked like you'd wandered in by accident.
"I was going to propose getting an expensive one since it's not our money anyways, but even the cheapest earring is worth ten times my life." You whispered.
"I wouldn't compare you with an earring, but I agree with the prices." 
"May I help you?" Eris asked for the third time since you'd entered the shop. 'We'll have a look around' probably wasn't going to work anymore. "Any particular kinds of accessories you're looking for?"
The thing was, neither of you wore that much jewelry anyways. It would only get in the way of his training, and you could barely spare money for your friends' birthdays, let alone luxury like this. But throwing it into your drawer with other miscellaneous trinkets was just sinister. 
"How about rings? We have promise rings for couples–"
"No, thanks."
"How about necklaces?" You suggested, which earned a satisfied look from Eris as she left to find you some styles.
"Why necklaces?" Jack asked.
"Well, neither of us is going to wear it, so I thought, why not give it to your cacti? You can put it around the pot. It'll be like dressing them up."
“A designer necklace for my cacti?” His brows knitted into a disapproving frown. “I mean, they deserve nothing less, but still-”
“Then it’s settled.” You replied. Eris arrived just then and ended any argument that might be forming in his head.
Most of the necklaces came in pairs, and each pair held no significant differences between one another. Sure, the charms varied in shapes and colors, but they were all just… argent.
Your attention landed on the pair on the fair right. Each half had a hand-shaped ornament that fit into each other when put together. The rest were pretty much the same: two halves of a heart, two halves of a cat, the same design but flipped over.
Your mind wandered. Adjacent to you was another couple admiring the opal bracelets hugging their wrists. Streaks of azure swirled within each crystal, as if there was a vast sea contained in every single one.
You really weren’t a jewelry person, yet once in a while, this kind of thing still had you indulging in daydreams. And only daydreams. It would be stupid to wear matching accessories anyways. It defeated the purpose of the whole secret relationship thing.
"In that case, I'll have this one." Jack referred to the pendant with a leaf-shaped charm. "Just one, thank you."
Eris looked bewildered, but she shrugged it off, picking up the chain and shelving the others away. It still hurt when you had to fish out all the money you had and then borrow some from Jack, but the knowledge that you could claim it all back gave a little relief to your throbbing wallet.
Jack pocketed the velvety box. "I hope it looks good with my cacti."
"Of course it will, I have immaculate taste." You wiped the tip of your nose with your thumb. 
Time flew past without a sound. You'd left school mid-afternoon, and now the blue sky had already been painted over with an amalgamation of warm hues. Your phone showed that it was already six. "We're kind of against the clock. Let's grab the last item and head back."
Your last stop was the local gift store, where a bunch of plushies and toys were displayed. As expected, the dolls were all related to love in all kinds of ways. There was a pink bear holding a love letter, two frogs with their hands sewn together, an elephant hugging a pillow in the shape of a heart. The only ones exempt from the influence of Valentine's Day were at the back of the shop. They were graduation plush toys and one that specifically said 'Happy Mother's Day'.
"Once again, this isn't my thing. I feel like you would be more interested…" he trailed off, spinning around to look for you. "Prefect?"
"Jack! Look at this! It's adorable!" You waved him over. In your hands were two avocado dolls, one with the seed in the middle and the other without. "Oh my goodness. And this!"
You picked up two monkeys that had their arms wrapped around each other. The fluffy fur seemed to melt away under your touch, and their hands could reach all the way around your waist. 
Truth was you'd already made something for Leona, but these monkeys? It was love at first sight. He was always complaining about your inability to stay over in his room anyways, so this could work as the perfect substitute. Even though he wasn't the type to hug plushies as he slept (it would probably end up on the floor), it would still remind you of each other. No one would even notice. It's not like people could just wander into his room. And yours–
Your dorm was basically a public area by now. There were times when Sebek and Epel invited themselves over and scared the living hell out of you because you'd left your phone inside with Leona's contact on the screen. Every time you had an impromptu sleepover, they made a competition out of stealing your plushies, except Sebek who had his own Malleus cushion. Deuce might not take note of the new plush member, but Ace was observant to a fault. You could already hear his voice yelling 'why do you have this monkey plush and where is the other one' in your ears.
"Then let's buy it." Jack said. 
You shook your head ruefully. "Ehh, maybe not. Now that I think about it, I don't really have that much space left on my bed."
"I thought you'd started invading Grim's?"
"Yea, but still." Returning the monkeys to the shelf, you turned around and started searching around again. 
If Ace was observant, then Jack was eagle-eyed, always detecting details in the most unlikely places. It wasn't difficult for him to notice where your attention had drifted off to back at the jewelry shop either. 
He cleared his throat. "So, about you and Leona. Have you decided how long the secrecy will go on for?"
You petted each plush you walked past, ruffling their heads. "Not yet. We'll see."
"Right," he turned the words over in his head, looking for a more natural approach. "But you’re both fine with the arrangement, obviously.”
“Of course.” You had to be. After all, you had your own reasons for keeping up the confidentiality, and you’d hate to be involved in any royal scandal Leona had mentioned. Even if the rules weighed on you at times, it was still better than attracting attention, right? “I think so.”
All this time you’d been walking on tip-toes believing that it could do more good than harm, but a short trip down memory lane proved otherwise: That one time you'd had to hide Leona in the closet, his legs had gotten so sore that you'd spent the whole light massaging the stiffness away. Your forehead was swollen for days after running into a tree while staying out of Rook’s watchful eyes. All those times you’d had to swallow the words you wanted to say to each other in public, a much needed embrace reduced to a pat on the shoulder.
It was supposed to get Ace and his naive accomplice off your back, but look where you were now: entangled in a web of misunderstandings, not only did it not work as intended, but you also got Jack into this predicament.
“...Back home, my brother always picks fights with my sister,” Jack started. “He’s at the age where he feels the need to act like an ass in any given situation. He’s stubborn about it too. Never apologizes to her afterwards. They could spend days ignoring each other.
Any time it happens when I’m around, I try to figure out how they feel. My sister thinks that he probably hates her, that’s why they never see eye to eye. Meanwhile he does feel sorry, but he doesn't know how to get over his ego."
"Typical siblings." 
"That's right. And then I sit them down and make them talk to each other."
"And it works?"
"Like a charm. Effective communication can pretty much solve half of the conflicts in the world, but it's hard to take the first step, especially when you don't know what the other person is thinking."
You let his words sink in, turning them over in your head. If you were to lay your heart completely bare, it would certainly be singing a different tune. Perhaps a chat would really make things better instead of pretending that nothing was out of place.
"You have a point there." It wasn't hard to grasp what he was trying to say, but if he wanted to be roundabout about it, then you weren't going to bring it to light. 
The two of you came to a stop in front of a felt box holding five keychains, a sweet rendition of a puppy family. He picked it up carefully. "Would you mind if I got this? My sister has always liked collecting keyrings like these."
"Sure. You're never beating the best big brother allegation, are you?"
A proud smile dawned on his face. "Hopefully not."
By the time you’d ticked off the very last item on the shopping list, night had already fallen. 
“I just realized something awful.” Jack said from behind. He was still holding the roses and cake, while you had the rest. “You didn’t get anything at all. I mean, the cake and the necklace, and even the recipient of this bouquet-”
“Hey, don’t worry. I was the one who ‘invited’ you to hang out, wasn’t I? It’s only fair that I treat you to something nice. Even though it’s Sam’s money. It’s the sentiment that counts.”
His face faltered for a second, then he assumed an earnest expression. “In that case, I promise to make it up to you, not just for the gifts, but also for the amazing company.”
"You're not so bad yourself, Jack."
The mirror portal was situated on a nearby hill, giving you the perfect view of the town under your feet. Streams of people weaved through the streets, the uniform structures and red roofs now adorned by pink banners and decorations. 
A strange sense of satisfaction filled your chest knowing that you’d completely defied what Ace and Deuce had planned for you guys. Although this wasn’t planned, you still had an amazing time roaming around town.
“Let’s head back now.” Jack said. You sent him a nod before stepping through the mirror together.
———
It was 7:45, and you were pacing around your room.
After returning to the campus and claiming the sweet thaumarks from Sam, Jack bid you goodbye and returned to his room trying to juggle all the rewards in his arms, earning envious glares from passing students.
That was half an hour ago. In that time you’d managed to rush back to Ramshackle, got dressed in the most formal outfit you could find in your humble wardrobe, and walked ten laps around the house trying to practice what to say to Leona when he got here. 
Hey, remember when we agreed to keep all of this under wraps? I kind of don’t want to do that anymore. Yea, the press could be after us. Yea, my friends are going to be a pain in the ass. No, I still want to go public with this. 
What if he felt that it was not worth the trouble? You trusted that he would respect your choices, but still-
Rapid knocks on the door pulled you back to reality. You all but stormed down the stairs and rushed to the foyer, swinging open the door.
There he was, clad in a simple black button down shirt and pants, his hair gathered in a high ponytail. In his left hand was a bouquet of roses, and in his right, for some reason, was his broom.
How did he even manage to look perfect in everything he wore? 
“Happy Valentine’s Day, kipenzi,” he stepped in and met you half-way with a kiss, trying to lean in for another when you pulled away. You almost forgot that you’d been anxious just a while ago. 
“Happy Valentine’s to you too, mpenzi,” The nickname never failed to make his tail swish in contentment. You beamed as he handed you the roses. The card indicated that there were 33 in total, and if your memory served you right, it symbolized ‘I love you’ with affection. 
“How was your day with Jack?”
“It was great.” You answered briefly, pulling him into the lounge by his hand.
“Just great?” 
“If you must know, we walked around town and bought tons of stuff. We decided to treat it as a friendly hangout.” 
“I see.” He said tersely, willing his jaw to unclench before you could see it.
“You/re not getting green-eyed, are you?”
“They’ve been green my whole life, sweetheart,” he smirked as you rolled your eyes. 
“Touche.” You headed to the sofa and picked up a huge paper bag. “Ta-da! Here’s something I made you.”
Placing his broom against the wall, he reached inside, expression shifting when he felt the soft fabric. Slowly, he pulled out the content and let it fall to the floor soundlessly.
It was a crocheted blanket big enough to roll both of you into a burrito, the pattern mimicking a chess board. The only detail you’d tweaked were the king pieces, which had been turned into two snoozing lions. 
He spent a good minute observing the blanket, as if trying to take in every single detail. Finally, he asked, “So this is why you couldn’t stay over at my room for the past two months?”
“Yea. It could’ve taken me a month, but I had no prior knowledge about crocheting, so I had to start from the ground up.”
“You could’ve just commissioned someone, you know. Would’ve saved a lot of trouble.” He said mindlessly, running his hand down the smooth yarn. 
“Maybe I should take it back then-”
“Hands off, it’s mine.” His face scrunched up, arms holding the blanket close to himself. During winter, his family had sent him more than enough blankets and duvets, all made with the most exquisite of fabrics, but this might just outshine all of them. “And it’s unique this way. So… thank you.”
If you were going to start the conversation, you reckoned that this was the perfect timing. "There's something I've been-"
"Wait a sec. I have more surprises." He wrapped the blanket around your shoulders so that only your head was uncovered and grabbed his broom. "Close your eyes."
You did as told, pulling the blanket up to shield your face. Some distance away, you heard the light switch flip. "I didn't know you had this many things planned."
It sounded like he was talking from a great height. "You didn't think I was just going to give you roses, did you?" Something cut through the air. "Though it did take me some time to figure out what to do, so you better appreciate it with all your heart."
"Roger that." You paced around in an aimless circle, listening to the faint winds trailing behind him as he flew around the lounge. For a moment you wondered if he was cleaning the place, but it was highly unlikely that he would volunteer doing so. 
"Okay," the next time he spoke, he was right in front of you. "You can look now."
The lights were out, which normally meant the room should be cloaked in darkness, but it was different today. On the roof were densely scattered glow-in-the-dark stickers piercing the dimness, mimicking stars. A few of them extended to the walls, as if the sky was melting. Some were larger in shape, others mere dots, but together, it looked like the whole galaxy had been moved inside.
Your mouth fell open as you took in the constellations spread out in front of you. There was seemingly no word that could encapsulate the feeling welling in your chest.
"I promised that I would show you the night sky of Sunset Savannah before, but the opportunity hasn't presented itself, so this will have to do." He leaned in to observe your face. "Hey. You're not crying, are you?"
"No." You croaked. Half amused and half concerned, he reached for your arm and pulled you into a tight embrace.
Being held by Leona never failed to make you feel like the most treasured person in the world. His fingers threaded in and out of your locks, pressing kisses to the crown of your head as you hid your face in his shoulder. You leaned into him, so close that your hearts might as well melt into one. 
Leona Kingscholar had always shone in every room he was in, but nothing came close to the version of him only you got to see. His love came in both showers and drizzles, both intense and tender. It blew you away and made the lining of your stomach feel warm. He was the island you'd go to when you felt like drowning, the person you could call home in this scarily foreign land. Sometimes it felt like every bad thing would go away so long as he was holding your hand. 
He's undoubtedly the best thing that had ever happened to you, you thought, and you wanted to love him wildly for that. No hushed secrets, no retreating in the dark. You wanted to braid his hair and let the world see. You wanted to let him rest his head on your lap while you worked. You wanted to pass him tooth-rotting notes in class, and you wanted and wanted and wanted. You wanted to liberate all of these hopes and desires.
There was no way you could hide what you felt for him when it was brighter than all the stars in the universe combined.
"I need to talk to you about something." His voice was muffled in your hair. 
"So do I, actually." You tore yourself away, wiping the warm trails on your cheeks.
You followed him and sank onto the floor, shifting closer so you could get under the blanket together. He fixed his gaze on the chair behind you for a second, looking like he was trying to declutter his mind, before returning his attention to you. "What happened with Jack today has got me thinking about things between us."
Your breath hitched. It was like he was reading your mind.
"Most of the blame goes to your dumb friends, obviously. But I believe that some misunderstandings stemmed from us trying to keep everything a secret. And I know I said that it was troublesome to just go public and stuff, which I still agree with, but the truth is…" he ran his hand through his hair and it sprang back into place. "You're worth it. All of it. The press, the nosy halfwits in this school, my family, they are nothing compared to how much I absolutely adore you. Screw the troubles. I want to let everyone know that you're mine, and that I'm yours." A beat later, he added, "Plus, if something like this happens again, I'm not sure I can keep my cool."
He drew a deep breath. "The only question left is, what do you think?"
"I think-" you chuckled, feeling the previous nervousness dissipate. It's funny how effortless it was for you to be on the same page. "I think the absolute same! I've been pondering about how all this secrecy has been keeping us from each other, and I just despise that. Nothing is critical enough that it should be able to make me compromise my feelings..."
His grin grew wider and wider as you rambled on and on, until he had to cut you off with a kiss right there, laced with relief and unbridled joy. You couldn't help but smile into his touch, relishing in the new found solace. It was like your heart had found air again.
Under the starry sky, Leona rested his head against you, hand finding yours and giving it a small squeeze. "I love you."
"I love you more."
"Oh yea, you want to make this a competition?" He quirked his brow, and before you knew it, you were going back and forth without a regard for the passing hours.
You might not have been able to spend the entire Valentines' Day with him, but you knew that there was still tomorrow and the days after that, enough for you to tell him all the ways you loved him as much as you wanted. It would always be like this– bathing in each other's presence, letting the love drape over you two like a blanket. 
Only this time, you wouldn't have to hold back anymore.
———
"Hey," Trey walked up to Cater, who was walking to and fro in the middle of the corridor. "What's this emergency you were talking about?"
"Trey! Thank the Queen of Hearts you're here." He pulled the taller man towards one of the dorm rooms, where the door was slightly ajar. A stern voice could be heard from within, though it was too faint for him to string together a coherent sentence.
"Jack asked me to let him in because he had something urgent to say to Ace and Deuce, and it looked like a storm was verging on his face so I complied," Cater moved aside, signaling Trey to take a peek. "He's been in there for a good while, and it doesn't sound like fun."
Trey let out an exasperated sigh. He'd spent the past few days baking cookies and chocolates, and he could frankly use a break. Still, as the vice dorm leader, he couldn't just turn a blind eye when the underclassmen got into trouble. Bending down, he squeezed one eye shut to get a clear view of what was going on inside.
Jack was standing in the middle of the room, arms in front of his chest, tail moving stiffly. The usual seriousness of his expression was mixed with an edge of irritation. 
On the edge of the bed sat Ace and Deuce, who were as still as twin popsicles, hands clenched on their laps and head low. Deuce looked especially guilty, like he'd just done something terrible like eating Riddle's tarts. Ace was mildly annoyed, but unable to utter a retort.
"...totally inconsiderate and disappointing behavior… the result could've been egregious!"
Trey blinked, then backed away from the door. "We'd better give them some more time. They've done something egregious ."
"Wow. That's a big word. I wonder what exactly they've done…" At Trey's disapproving squint, Cater waved his hand dismissively. "Don't look at me like that! Of course I won't use our cute first years as topics for gossip~"
The two made their ways back to their rooms then. Another thirty minutes later, Jack finally ended his speech in resignation, rendering the two culprits and frankly inadequate cupids speechless. In his deep breaths, he picked up the faint fragrance of roses lingering on his clothes, and let out a soft sigh.
Hopefully it was enough to repay all the presents you'd given him today. 
613 notes · View notes
zarla-s · 4 months
Note
I know you’ve been arting for a while, so what’s your favorite program to work on, or favorite way to make art things?
I use PaintTool SAI! I love Sai, it's lightweight and streamlined and I love the sharp line quality and the chonkiness and texture of the brushes, I use it for everything. It's only like 50 dollars and I can't recommend it enough! It's done by a very small team (if not just one guy? I forget) so really I'd recommend buying it instead of pirating it, it deserves support!
It doesn't do text though, so I use Photoshop CS for that (I used to use an old copy of Photoshop Elements 2 but that eventually stopped working entirely). I also use Clip Studio Paint (also like 50 dollars) sometimes for the huge plethora of brushes and effects it has to do fancy things, mostly backgrounds. And Aseprite (20 dollars) for pixel animations, and an ancient copy of Flash MX 2004 for bigger ones.
111 notes · View notes
snackugaki · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
... my ass actually got like 6+ images deep before realizing i hadn't posted shit-- oops
my tmnt  iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)
tmnt  iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10
tmnt  iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
lny visit 1 | 2
IDW spoilers below, teeechnically Mirage & Next Mutation spoilers too ig?
blah blah blabbering because that's one of the many things you can do on tumblr.com
bloopity bloopin, turtles all being traded on the black market as pets, medicine, or decor to be... "prepared". 'cept Jennika, keeping her IDW origin because it's badass and I like it. eco vigilantes freed them one fateful night, same night someone(s) stole some mutagen for a rival company to TGRI, boom collided in their getaway routes, away floated Venus just like in NM and some others who lalala may or may not be some mutanimals
playing mostly with coloring, Rise introducing markings is such a nice and refreshing change from the all sam green turtle, different bandana color turtles I grew up with. fanon taking that concept and applying it in conjunction with actual turtle colorings also scratches my visdev brain node just so
hm... still fiddling with their plastrons... Venus' and Jennika's are fine though
Leo
funky li'l ringed map turtle
can't see it but, he got them little ridgey-spikies on his shell
christ, I'm finding a way to attach Iris symbolism to him, either through markings or something else
Iris in hanakotoba is... basically all Leo; nobility, bravery, honor, courage, heavy samurai association
5'2"
Raph
McCord's or Amboina box turtle idk idk idk can't choose
stuck on coloring him with a scale mail feeling to match the box turtle photos I found
....I needa draw him beefier, he can stand to be beefier
5'6"
Donnie
literally just googled which turtles exhibit the highest INT, wood turle consistently listed plus some have funky geometrically patterned/shaped shells
tossing on how do the plastron coloring, really liking the dark spots on it
probably keep the lightened belly/inner limb coloring
...probably... lol idk
5'8"
Mikey
my perfect chonky boy, no notes except he (and his brothers) need plastron do-overs
and now i am stuck with the heart-on-his-sleeve marking
canon 2 my iteration it is done
he gets to be the slider this go round, if just 'cuz he's technically the first born (in terms of creating TMNT and its story and world)
let him have the fluttering, finger drumming on everything and everyone because he's bursting with "i love you" energy anyway
5'4"
Venus
"my pretty daughter" iykyk
sea turtle as per last couple iteration posts
cultivator instead of "shinobi"
"i aM ShiNObi"... guh, just, I dunno, the term "cultivator" wasn't really known back in '98 like that, but she had the medicine box, she worked to learn how to throw a fireball at Vam Mi, she was pleased at her progression when she defeated the counterspell from the staff of Bu Ki. that's cultivator shit right there.
she's still a pugilist more than a iron fan user
looks up to April like a big sister, speaks canto and hakka with her
cuz she's still a linguist scholar like in Next Mutation so duh she speak all the languages (to an extant, she has a lot of studying left to go after all)
the greenified hawksbill coloring is growing on me...
still needa futz more with the plum flower motif on her
also figure out her huadian situation or just scrap it idkidkidk
her bandana + 50% green coloring is also growing on me....
5'10"
Jennika
technically also ringed map turtle since it was Leo who gave her the blood transfusion
I like the idea of bringing her Blaschko's lines to the forefront post-mutation but just... it's a lot of stripes. and goddamnit I ain't even gonna go deep into much of anything with the comics I just... can't not world build rip me
6'0"
April
still so tickled at April being closer to the turtles' ages in these new reboots and fascinated how it's played out
...but mine is a clean 44 yo, so. (turtles in late 30s)
Laird originally conceived April as an asian woman in his notes, Eastman drew her as a biracial woman he was dating at the time (April Fisher) and... idk what to tell y'all, people are running around being mixed in this world all the time, Brooklyn got hella Jamaican/Chinese so there you go
can speak canto and hakka
April being a "weirdo" as I've seen mentioned in Rise can stay, I'm picking that, that's a great trait to her character, big fan of Poly Styrene, loved Rachel True in The Craft
where "weirdo" is just she's into alt subculture and being in New York... she got her hands everywhere in those scenes
She and Chu Hsi get to have the most shoujo fuckin' romance because it's cute
and she's still a living drawing which I'm changing around a bit being why she felt like a "weirdo" and leaned towards subcultures and the turtles, she did eventually begin to destabilize but Venus stabilized her by trapping her in a scroll so she could work on a solution. ...where she has a long, happy relationship with Chu Hsi in the painted world scroll because lol time dilation
saw somewhere on the hellsite that the tooth gap is passed around every iteration... so April gets to have it
5'7"
Irma
i'm not ashamed to say I just reupholstered Nadia from Russian Doll
87 Irma went through a lot so she can have some dry wit and humor and be fly as fuck, big hair, big glasses, and a big attitude
still besties with April
likes moths, they're just neat little guys with rabbit ears iykyk
there is a very specifc size of her hair I am battling to keep consistent the problem it never feels big enough
says "fuhgeddaboutit" and has yelled that she is, in fact, "walkin' here,"
... she might also have a little bit of Myrtle from AHS: Coven sprinkled in now that I'm thinking about it to sum her up
she knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody for any random thing you could want to try to find
all the delis and bodegas know her
discusses plot lines from soap operas with Splinter on weekends, they get heated
5'5"
... god all this and I was just gonna have them play spades and play a round of pickup street ball in silly little comics
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