H!!! I feel so efking weird right now.. so, like I have a sister who’s like 2 years younger than me, and she’s like the complete opposite of me too so she’s super outgoing and talkative and everyone loves her or whatever (no I’m not jealous, I’ve worked through that so I could become comfortable with who I am) and I’ve had suspicions that she lost her v-card, but like she hadn’t confirmed it until an hour ago. The struggle is real. Cause like, now I’m literally the only one, aside from my cousins middle school and down in my family that hasn’t lost it and I’m 21 and it feels like I shouldn’t be last but like goals and anxiety keep me from really even being social and having a relationship so like my v-card is fully in tact, and I don’t know how to feel. On one hand, I’m super happy that she was comfortable and safe with the guy she did it with, on the other, the guy’s made her cry so much that I hate that it was him, and I’m glad she felt like she could tell me (I was stressed and she knows I worry so she waited until after I took my tests to tell me) but like. I don’t know I feel bittersweet about the whole thing, like I feel like I should have gotten it outta the way already but also I know that it’s not something I want or need right now because my whole goal is to graduate from college and I’m so close!!! So I dunno what I’m feeling, sorry this is very ranty and weird, I just- I’m stuck….

ahhhh i know what you mean. i’m sorry that you’re going through all of that though, it sounds like a lot of inner turmoil >;( virginity is a tricky subject. like, when i was younger i had a mindset of ‘i wanna get rid of this rn’ but that led me to losing it too young when i was def not ready to a Bad Guy lmao so all i can really advise is just don’t rush into choices and take your time (which it sounds like you’re doing already so go you). there is genuinely genuinely genuinely no rush. 21 is still so very very young and i know that it’s so cliché but it’s really true. if your priorities are elsewhere rn then maybe just put it on the back burner until you have more time to think about it. idk! you didn’t ask for advice but i started typing and now i’m here omg so sorry feel free to ignore all that. either way, that sounds like a hard time and i hope you feel better soon

how. do u sona....

back on my talking in the tags bullshit like it's 2015 🫡

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

i've been soooooo paranoid lately about people finding this blog sdjfjhefw but i just opted in to hide it from search results and i already feel so much better

just got so weird and insecure on an irl ive had for years bc ive been avoiding showing them toku and gay media like i said i would bc im so inherently embarrassed about my interests and can vividly remember every time since i was a child when people would tell me im weird or that i seem like a freak on paper

evening has come again huh

god my throat is raw from yelling / panicking. And part of me is wary wondering if it’ll happen again. omgggg

i am going to pride tomorrow and im gonna have a good day with my friends!!!

AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

need someone to take the ex RO trope away from me

<:]

yknoww what i neeeed

in order to get my mind Off my crush i am going to be diving back into carry on i think because i Miss them and dont want to think about crush issues any longer, instead i want to think about Baz’s crush issues.

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