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Am I an Izzy anti?
Like, what is an Izzy anti? Is it someone who doesn't like Izzy-the-character? Is it someone who dislikes Izzy fans on principle? Is it someone who absolutely hates Izzy and attacks anyone who likes him?
I don't care for Izzy-the-character, but I don't hate people who like him. I love the OFMD fandom. I do! My tumblr dash is full of awesome stuff from smart, funny, talented people, and even the folks with takes I disagree with seem to be pretty cool. I've even been reading Izzy-centric meta every now and then in an attempt to understand where the fans I don't agree with are coming from. I still disagree with them about certain things, but that's totally fine! Disagreement is absolutely normal within fandoms, and I think I'd have a nice time talking to most Izzy fans irl.
But sometimes I read a post that drives me absolutely bonkers and makes me think well, maybe I'm an anti after all.
That's mostly okay! I don't think that Ed "made terrible abusive choices towards his crew" or that they're his victims, but I can admit that I have a kneejerk negative reaction to most mentions of abuse in OFMD meta. I think that Ed's harmful actions are often overstated and examined outside of the context of the show, but whatever. We can agree to disagree when OP's still willing to admit that Ed's still worthy of love.
I hate that, thanks! Meet me in the Denny's parking lot, OP -- I just want to have a talk about abuse and empathy.
(That's a joke. By no means should anyone meet me anywhere.)
I think that anyone who makes either Ed or Izzy the victim in their relationship -- anyone who buys into the dichotomies of abuser and abused, innocent and victim -- misses out on what makes their whole Thing interesting. (That said, I think Izzy's behavior falls more into the definition of abuse, which is characterized by an attempt to exert control over someone else. Like, I'd rather not call either of them an abuser, but if we must...) They're both messed up guys, and it takes two to make a properly toxic relationship.
But then some people will say yes, I love these fucked up little guys, and then they'll absolve one of them of any real wrongdoing.
Ed "struggles to care for his crew." He makes "terrible abusive choices," he has "victims." "He can still choose to do better" and "confront his own actions" (implying that Ed didn't choose to do better or confront his actions in canon). That's pretty damning. That's a character who victimizes the people around him and, as of the end of season two, hasn't improved.
What makes Izzy a fucked up character that OP still chooses to love? Izzy is "twisted, messy, bitter." He's used to violence and he has changed himself to fit into the violent world of piracy. He "enabled" Ed's darkness, except he actually didn't. He has a hard time accepting kindness and he's imperfect. That's... not very fucked up at all. All of Izzy's flaws are situational here; he's only "twisted, messy, bitter" because of the environment he's trapped in, and he takes the blame for darkness he didn't really stoke. At worst, he's an imperfect survivor of abuse.
I just don't like it, y'know? I don't like this trick where people say yes, both of these characters are fucked up, but only one of the characters is actually culpable. The flaws of the favored character aren't really their fault.
Look: as a thoroughly Stede-coded human with Depressed Bitch Syndrome, I adore Ed and I'm absolutely biased in his favor, but he is flawed. He has oodles of unresolved trauma, mental health issues, and he isn't all that emotionally mature. He can be extremely self-centered and dismissive of other peoples' feelings; his conviction that he's unlovable makes him quick to give up on Stede and quick to think the worst of the crew in S1E10 (in the wake of the confrontation with Izzy, Ed interprets their calls for another song as mockery). Ed has a tenuous sense of self and becomes whoever he thinks present company wants him to be, even if that person is a jerk (the fancy party) or a jackass (Calico Jack) or a monster (the Kraken). He hangs on to Izzy because Izzy might be a dick, but he's a certainty. And yeah, he loves a good maim. He's a pirate captain.
And you know what? I adore him. He's complicated and sweet and brilliant and I think he's The Character of All Time.
And Izzy... Izzy is a joyless middle-manager with an inflated sense of self-importance. He thinks he's the backbone of the whole operation, the down-to-earth guy holding Blackbeard together. He thinks he loves Ed, but he doesn't even see Ed until the end of season one, and he sure as hell doesn't like Ed until the end of season two. He tries to murder Stede multiple times because he's convinced it's what's good for Blackbeard, even after he realizes Ed has feelings for Stede. Izzy doesn't want change. He resists it at every turn, even after he's down a leg and can't live for his job. He tried to keep Ed trapped in the role of Blackbeard because Izzy's purpose and identity was tied up in that fiction. He only realizes he doesn't want the violence of Blackbeard when he's fired; prior to that, he's fine with going along with the Kraken, even at the cost of his toes.
That's all weird as hell! That's interesting! If I was isolated from OFMD fandom, I probably would've become an Izzy Jar Guy after season two wrapped up! But all of my interest in Izzy jumps ship when I see some of his fans (not all -- my sibling's an Izzy fan and they remain cool) soften him and absolve him of all real guilt.
Does that make me an anti, or just a petty Ed stan? Like, I generally feel like my take on Izzy is firmly rooted in canon, but the more time I spend in fandom, the less certain I am.
#ofmd#fandom critical#kinda?#look i don't know what i'm typing about#i just saw a thing and needed to type#i'll try to say something smart next time#izzy critical#technically?#i don't feel like i'm being critical!#the more i read the more baffled i am#me typing things
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siren
#bakuspecial#cw: nudity#cw: body horror#monster#siren! I think. they're bird to me#I think this has been brewing since that stream mim did of drawing dnd monsters only from official text description#and when the official art for the sirens were shown I was like. oh thats just a woman with wings#lmao like. granted. its an official dnd book available for all audience. you cant make it too Bad To Look At#(I do not agree with this but it wasnt about me. if its about me its gonna be about very few people lmao)#but yeah. after that I got slightly too into the idea of putting more bird into birdwoman#but I also do genuinely love monsters that are Rearranged Human Parts so. I couldnt commit too much to the bird scales Im so sorry#I wanted the fleshiness. the feel. textural experience of holding her hands and being like oh that's a human#even when ur eyes tell u otherwise. mmm#...I looked to my right as I was typing these tags and saw. the fucked up pikmin I tried to sculpt the other day along with the pin#and got startled#its so. its so fucked up. gods. dusty white naked grainy parsnip#I used to have that one doll I butchered wanting to customize in a box next to me and thats way less upsetting than this. man#its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways#now. now I go to bed. its sleep time for the baku#have a good night lads! you CAN have it both way easily you just need a big bat
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
#one piece#sanuso#zosopp#long post#nemotime#does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep#bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh#listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole#'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help#when they need it#the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing#sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow#also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities#not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao#the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows#there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with#each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are#also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way#maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe
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i wanted to see altaria rei then i started goofin around
#the only ones i could see clearly were eevee eiden and morpeko morvay#i couldn't pin rei to a single mon bc i don't know a THING ABOUT HIM yet#but i want to see ghost type rei fight ghost type kuya and they're both just super effective against each other#i wonder if all the old men automatically get honourary ghost type membership. live 300 years ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: spooky#ANYWAY LET ME TALK ABOUT MY LIST#as in the list i was compiling of pokemon who matched the VIBE of someone and i couldn't decide#now BESIDES the ones req et al. already mentioned. which i already 👍👍👍 i was trying to find even moooore . exploring what could be.....#rei: altaria. marowak (alolan). noctowl. chandelure. decidueye. ribombee [a quiet friend :)]. inteleon.#once again i don't know rei's birdy deal yet so i won't (eheheh) pigeonhole him into an owl pokemon but we'll just wait and see#i had inteleon under rei before milke brought up sobble yakumo so now i'm like..... oh no...#rei fits the last evol and yakumo fits the first two.... uhhhhh#they can share. like they share gem placement. butt buddies.#yakumo had: girafarig. froslass. azurill (crying). tropius. wishiwashi. leavanny. marshadow.#i just want him to hang out with the food related mons and enjoy some fresh fruit with a giant flying dinosaur. yah#OK FOR EDMOND I SAW SIRFETCH'D AND COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING#WHAT A REGAL BOY. I HAVE TO. PLEASE I NEED EDMOND TO WIELD ONIONS#i was trying to be serious and find him a proper majestic pokesona . i swear. but the look on sirfetch'd's's face#edmond's list went: skarmory. lucario. cinccino. zeraora. dachsbun.#do i know edmond? i doubt. he's fluffy. wait no he's severe. wait no would he dare carry a fluffy cakey pokemon around? DARE HE????#for olivine i was even more stumped. seems like a lot of the pokemon i immediately thought of were the fluffy nurse types#stuff like chansey/blissey. kangaskhan.#this pokemon is 100% female? *flings pokedex out the window* no. olivine is a gender now#some of the newer pokemon i considered were bewear. drampa. mabosstiff.#but once again these were all just Protective of the Little Ones types#so i was imagining olivine just chilling with his serene smile and an army of MASSIVE CARETAKER POKEMON behind him#but. there has to be more to him than just taking care of others . furrows brow. idk. i'll settle for lapras FOR NOW#ditto eiden riding on the back of lapras. wonderful. glorious#pokemon crossover
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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
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More misc. daily life pictures and such
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky !#2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building#3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like#a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble.#just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given#my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol.#NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard#to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up#as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc.#6. bapy boye... feets#7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s#o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.)#I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and#an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi#c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs#of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry#its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing#Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington#also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol#8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle#until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue#photo diary
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i could watch this 240p video 10 more times (not telling you how many times i’ve watched it so far) but it’s lino and hyunjin dancing to aminé - blackjack
#I HAVE SO MUCH !!!!#TO SAY!!!#i found another little danceeeer i remember the moment i first saw this and went ooooohoh *rubs hands together* this is gonna be good#by this i mean this whole skz thing. and i was right!#like so sorry to hyunjin im sure he did well i just didn’t tear my eyes from lino for one second unfortunately#his isolations and movement control is INSANE also I wish we could get more of this type of thing#the freestyle soooo so good he’s so smooth when need be.. 🫶🏻#stray kids#medvjedić lino#ribica
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watched the musical demon show (don't wanna name it so this post isn't in the tags) at the behest of an IRL friend and i can already tell this is going to be a piece of media where i absolutely cannot stop thinking about it, not because i really love the show as-is, but because it has so many individual components i really like and find incredibly fun or compelling, and i'm so frustrated that it doesn't come together for me
i think the main thing i can say about it as a show, setting aside some of the insensitive choices that were made that i really don't feel qualified to tackle or talk about, is that the entire thing sort of gives off this vibe of someone really excited to show you every single oc they made in high school and college and i very genuinely mean that in both the best and worst ways possible
there are some good hooks for season two though so i will absolutely give them that
#the vibe is just like... they are just soooo excited to get all their ideas out that it becomes... messy and badly paced#like there are so many moments that are cool or fun or emotional in a vaccuum but they don't connect fully y'know#because this arc or character was JUST introduced so there isn't proper build up. everything moves too quick#and it's frustrating because you can TELL that the people making this show love their ideas and characters#and i more than get thta! i am also someone with a lotta ocs i love to blab about#but i think they have been working with them so long that they#a. assume we are already just as attached to them as they are without always doing that work#b. assume we've seen all the supplemental material which. i have not#and i don't think that a professional show is the type of thing where there should be a barrier of entry that involves like#podcasts and comics and twitter threads and IC instagram posts about characters to do that emotional/lore legwork y'know#i love lore and supplemental stuff obviously but this should still be like#a satisfying experience for me a person who saw the pilot however many years ago and then has not interacted with the show or fandom since#idk man stuff felt rushed and messy and i wish i liked it more#it needed more slow moments i think. the two scenes where the group all drinks together (minus one awful joke in the bar scene) are like#the best in the show to me becase i actually believe these guys are FRIENDS. i wanna see them hang out more!#i wanna see them actually really grow to like each other organically!!! i wanna see them build connections and grow better slowly!!!#songs absolutely slap though. soundtrack is probably gonna be in my spotify unwrapped 2024#i love me a musical and that inspiration is on its sleeve which i love#also imo the humor isn't great usually. it's very juvenile imo and sometime that works but it often doesn't#(for me at least humor is obviously SUPER subjective)#also tonally they have this 'have your cake and eat it too' issue which bugs me. it's exemplified by the v's (one in particular)#actually i could go on a whole rant about the v's if anyone is interested because god i have some Thoughts#and i think my issues with the v's (namely one v) encapsulates many issues i have with the show#despite all this rambling i actually did enjoy a lot of my time with it. i just don't think it was well-written if that makes sense
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rivalshipping is about healing to me but like in a “well-meaning yet still ill-advised codependency” way
#*pulls down projection screen and extends my collapsible pointer stick thing*#Yugi was a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who went too far w the whole revenge fantasy thing#until The Power Of Friendship TM mellowed him out and he finally landed in a more emotionally stable state#*clicks to next slide*#meanwhile kaiba over here is ALSO a lonely kid with unresolved anger issues who ALSO went too far w his own fucked up revenge fantasy#*quickly shuffles through slides of Death-T*#but two mind-shattering comas later and yugi at the very least was willing to bury the hatchet and try to start over again#the whole 'kaiba vs peg sus' fiasco was where everyone finds out kaiba's motives up to that point and where it all finally clicks for yugi#*clicks to next slide to reveal the 'he just like me fr' meme but it's yugi crying on the balcony inside peggy's castle*#it's after this that yugi starts thinking 'Well friendship fixed ME so maybe it can fix HIM too'#*clicks next slide and hits play on the embedded video*#Yugi: good morning kaiba-kun! nice weather we're having today huh?#Kaiba: I'm going to beat u in the face and in the ass#Yugi: haha alright bud I'll see u at regionals tomorrow#Yugi said so himself that he wanted 'friends he could count on and who could count on him' (paraphrasing)#i think he saw this mess of a human being recklessly barreling towards the edge at 100 miles an hour and said#'yeah this looks like something i can personally fix'#bc he's the type of person to just selflessly shoulder a mountain of burdens if it means helping someone he cares about#like his heart is definitely in the right place but i don't think he realizes that kaiba also needs like#therapy and mood stabilizers or some shit#*a voice rings out from the back of the class*#'op they had like 10 minutes of conversation MAX over the entirety of duelist kingdom this is literally all in ur head*#no no the groundwork is there for all of this i PROMISE#lion king rafiki voice: look harder#like yes i'm delusional but i'm also RIGHT#(⓿_⓿)#ignore me
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Bro pls tell me more of your Meta Knight Vampire AU i really like it
Sure thing. I appreciate the interest.
So, in my Vampire!Meta Knight AU, there is one major focus which the AU encapsulates: The internal clash between Meta Knight’s vampiric nature, and his knightly one.
(I should mention that there are also heavy themes of metadede present in the AU’s plot. Their relationship (slow burn in nature) is that of a vampiric knight’s and a mortal monarch’s, and it delves deep into the dilemma the pairing of a vampire and mortal and or knight and king may have caused at the time period of the AU (middle ages). (To note, whether it be romantic or platonic, it is no exemption as I am simply an enjoyer of this trope. It has my heart.))
(Additionally, if you are interested in hearing about my headcanons regarding (Vampire!)Meta Knight, King Dedede, or their relationship you are free and welcome to send an inquiry.)
Though I digress. The AU incorporates medieval elements. To clarify, Dreamland acts as one large province which makes up the other kingdoms of Popstar within it. The AU still keeps Popstar’s respective and canon locations, and as far as medieval elements go, the kingdoms of Dreamland are large and obviously medieval in nature, though, it goes further as to add specific traditions, social aspects and elements in medieval culture such as castles, caste systems, middle age hierarchy, dungeons, mills, grindstones, horse riding, cavalry etc etc while also including more specific elements from the cultures of the middle age such as the values treasured in said cultures, the oral passing down of tales, grand halls for celebration, (think the Anglo Saxon’s mead hall), medieval cuisine and mythologies present, branching back to kingdoms of a distant past. Most if not all of this finds its way in the AU.
Speaking of, Meta Knight’s vampirism stems from the mythological aspect of the AU. Though, this is not exclusive to vampires. Werewolves, necromancers, dragons, wyverns (like Landia), demons and a plethora of undead species also come into play in the AU. There are also bandings of hunters that actively work against Meta Knight as an external antagonistic force.
In vague short, Meta Knight found himself attacked, put at the mercy of his assailant, and felled for three days before he rose, turned by an unknown perpetrator. He spends his undead days seeking the malevolent force out, all while striving (and struggling) to acclimate to his newfound nature. Meta Knight struggles as his savage vampiric nature claws at his conscience, that very same conscience that was brought up and born in the disciplined knighthood, an order that puts first the upkeep the innocent first while his vampiric one seeks to do the opposite of just that. Much happens between these points. (It is an AU with much to unpack.)
There it is. A few key concepts in regards to the AU. Thank you for your interest, and a good-hearted thank you to anyone who stopped to read this. Have a good one.
#spent way too long typing this up just for my tumblr to crash. saw my life flash before my eyes as my work was gone#sobbing#i just retyped what i could recall though#this au is just an amalgamation of the things ive a passion for and or interest in#apologies if some things have changed. it has been awhile since i have spoken on the au#this is a solid overview though#i have fanfiction relating to this au but i just need to gather the courage to get it posted to archiveofourown#goodness ive much to say on the in betweens of the au. so much i am excited to tell via fanfiction#writers block. go away#vampire meta knight au#IMELHT’s asks#helpmeiminthevoid#long post
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Not me looking for refs of the monsters in Fear and Hunger just to he hit with this thing
Was genuinely flabbergasted- terrified even, like, what the FUCK are you doing, big bro Night Lurch *read: terrified*
#not a reblog.#personal#fear and hunger#you know#i figured this was gonna be a thing#like even went into it with the knowledge that crazy shit happens BUT#I DID NOT REALIZE HOW MANY MOSNTERS WERE IN THIS GAME????#i was failed to be told#I just thought there was like a *few* more outside of all the ones i had seen (ALSO SAW WHAT EVERYONE WAS BLURRING WITH THE GAURDS)#(I COULD NOT MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OF IT I STILL CAN'T IT WAS FUCKING FREAKY)#yeah there's so much in this game which is very cool also idk if i need to add???? trigger warnings#i don't even know where to start tbh djkdkd#i'll just leave it alone and if someone asks me to I'll add warnings fjdndm#anyway#anyway final thoughts: that crow mauler is absolutely horrifying but in like 'i sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me' type of way
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ok i'll say it: they should have weird disappointing freak sex
#'sleeping w u bc i see ur father every time i look at u/ sleeping w u bc u're the only connection i have to my father' type shit#ik he wouldnt. but thats why i need him fully delirious in that desert. hallucinations. visions. etc the full scope of human suffering#the thing about this blog is i can just say whatever. thank god#also not even fully my fault like u guys saw those book excerpts... like cmon#honestly. if i ever fully commit to writing sw fic. thats what i would write#sw
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Fuck I'm yearning for soft attention so hard my body physically hurts
#sad ramble#highgoblin#today all I can think about is how I don't think anyone would ever wanna actually be physically close to me#sure people wanna have sex with me but I don't think if they saw me in person they would want to be CLOSE to me#there's a difference between sex and closeness#I don't think I'm the type of guy someone wants to hold and stare at and comfort and love#everytime I imagine someone softly tickling/teasing me or just doing cute things like kisses and hand holds#I just get this dreadful feeling as a voice in my head tells me I'll never get the romance I desire#I dunno how to explain my feelings right#I want sex and rough stuff#but I really NEED soft affection to heal my wounds#and I don't think I'm ever gonna get that
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This is a big text post, and I apologize :)
Recently, I saw the Barbie movie, I had thoughts and feelings about it afterward that I had to share. So once I was with friends who had seen the movie, we talked about it. I talked about how I loved the messaging that I saw in the movie. My friend talked about how amazing the representation of Barbies mental health/disorders was. It was great! My friends boyfriend didn't say much until another friend showed up and mentioned how he thought Ken (Ryan Gosling specifically) was fantastic. They said they wanted to buy the Kenough sweaters, they kept telling each other that they were kenough, and then they played every song that Ken sung.
I could kinda tell my friend had more to say about the movie, and I certainly did. More than anything, I wanted to tell them to shut up about Ken. The movie wasn't about him. It was about Barbie and how women are treated by the world. Yet here are the men only talking about the men in the film and not letting the afab people talk about anything else.
Ken being told that he isn't defined by being Barbies boyfriend or how well he does beach, and that he is kenough was wonderful. But Barbie had the same character arc, going from thinking she's only stereotypical Barbie to choosing to become human because possibility is beautiful and it makes her feel is all that matters. Barbie learned it then told Ken because it was a hard journey and she wanted to help him, yet so many people are only paying attention to Kens realization.
Looking back, I focused on Ken too, before I had even seen the movie. This is stolen straight from Google:
"He admits he found his daughters' Ken doll “face down in the mud outside one day, next to a squished lemon” which was all the convincing Gosling need. “It was like, This guy's story does need to be told, you know?”"
I loved this it just really stuck with me for some reason, but I don't like it now. Ken's face down in the mud because his story doesn't need to be told. He doesn't represent what all the little girls playing with Barbie are looking for, which is to be able to do what they want and have that be kenough. The Kens were there to mirror how men treat everyone else in the real world. This movie was for the Barbies of the world, a "guy's story" doesn't belong in it. It's okay for the movie to be made for one group, especially when the majority of movies are made for the other.
It's very disheartening see when I've heard people call the movie, "women empowering", "the most feminist movie ever" and so much more. Ironic that a movie ment to show how women get overshadowed by men is having its plot overshadowed by the men that acted in it.
#I saw one to many posts about people wanting the kenough sweater and I snapped#There's so much to read into about the movie#yet all I see is ken and its upsetting#I love this movie and how good the actors did in it#So many things are bouncing around in my head but nobody seems to care since it's not about Ken#barbie movie#barbie#i am kenough#he is kenough#you are kenough#we are kenough#seriously I just found all of those by typing kenough and it just empathizes my point#for Spiderverse and Nimona I had the same thoughts I was seeing but I'm not seeing my thoughts this time and I need someone to see them
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Beat Octopath Traveler 2
#oh god#just....#this game man...this game#it has surpassed Octopath 1 in a way i never saw coming. from its music to its emotional beats#the post game??? the info dump was handled so much better and OUCH. if you know You Know#Also shout out to Hired Help. i lost like 300000 plus leaves in that final fight but it was so worth it#my bones ache#i still need to do like 7 remaining side quests i think but i am fine where i ended things#the credits are rolling as i type this message and i implore my followers to at least try the demo#octopath traveler 2#octopath 2#octopath
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I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol
#ig this is kinda like a vent but not really im just being petty :p#man I fucking hate this webbed site#would y'all hate me if I left Tumblr and moved to twitter fr this time LMAO#this also happens to posts by people I've blocked reblogged by others like?? Tumblr STOP I do not want to see that askdjhadkj-#I don't really need to know when my mutuals are doing that come on now ://#also the blacklisting feature?? why do u need to give me the option to see posts just just let me mute things for good <//3#in some strange way I think twitter functions work better than Tumblr lol#at least my notifications are real there and half my followers aren't bots </3 blocks actually fucking work#so much easier to tell what people believe in/stand for too akjdhjd-#someone liked a tweet of mine and right in their bio they had like all the twt factions they're in and Saw Some Alarming ones and nope righ#to the blocklist- I don't have that type of security on Tumblr ppl actually keep parts of their lives private here wtf /lh /hj#the issue with twitter though is that im afraid to be annoying there cuz I mostly just post art and interact with like the 5 mutuals Im -#not afraid of#also tags on Tumblr my beloved <33#also no one on twitter knows im a Furry Artist Primarily and atp im too scared to let it be known </3#im just a silly wolf girl who accidentally grew a following release me from this hell /lh#Maybaps it’s time for me to take a Tumblrer break now that the season is bungover
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