#i just love tennis friendships ok
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listening to coco and clervie talk about their hair in the indian wells bts is so 🥹
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𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 - 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐬𝐳𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐳𝐥𝐚𝐢
• 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐦𝐞 ( 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 )
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 …
𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐩*𝐫𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐢𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤, 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲.
( 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 )
rare were the moments in which he found himself in his hometown, free of any attachments in regards to football; it was within these very moments that he truly relished in the atmosphere surrounding him, especially when he got to share those moments with her, the once vibrant girl he'd grown up with had transformed into somewhat of a siren like entity he just couldn't seem to resist, he faintly recalls the times in which he denied ever feeling something beyond the realms of friendship; somehow, as if fate decided to mock him - he'd been harboring this secret for the past three years since the pair last saw one another.
he was in love, no, he was obsessed.
it'd gotten to a point where he swore he could feel her in the dead of the night, a sensation that left him all too flustered and aching to be with her, thus fueling his desire to end said torture during his current stay, he'd been fortunate to spend time with his family, old friends and now he wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment with her resulting in quite the interesting suggestion.
" tennis? " she echoed his previous statement, a confused smile across her lips. " you want me to play tennis with you? "
the hungarian nods with a soft smile before murmuring softly. " yes, i feel like i haven't seen you in ages baba "
she looks away, recalling the cause of their sudden rift, one that she didn't want to remember yet a single sentence of him had opened the floodgates of memories, reminding her that she was the one to have caused the rift given her blossoming emotions for her best friend, " i know, but why tennis? " she wonders.
he shrugs nonchalantly, " why not baba? it'll be fun " he states with a soft smile before adding, " in fact, let's make it more interesting "
" what do you mean? " she asks with a confused tone.
" i'll teach you how to play " he said, his lips curled into a smirk. " we play every thursday and friday, what do you think? "
she grows silent, contemplating the offer presented to her before shrugging, " ok, i'll bite but ... if i end up hating it, you'll leave your crazy idea alone "
he laughs, " alright, deal but if you end up loving it ... " he trails off, leaning in, his gaze falling momentarily to her lips before it went back up to her eyes, " it'll be our thing "
" our thing? we didn't have a thing before? " she wonders with a teasing glint.
he lets out a soft hum, shaking his head before playfully speaking in a hushed tone. " i had football; you had dance classes baba, and don't get me wrong, nothing brings me joy than seeing you dance but i always wanted something to do which allowed us to spend time together "
" alright, i guess now i do " she giggles, then added. " i mean, what's the worst that can happen? "
it turns out, that a lot can happen.
she knew that it'd be risky, murky waters in fact; spending time with dominik in normal settings was one thing, spending time with him in a setting such as this was an entirely different thing - their first session happened on a rather hot day; as much as she tried to wiggle way out of it, he wouldn't budge, had even promised to treat her with ice cream afterwards yet in that moment, ice cream was the last thing on her mind, halfway through the session, dominik had the brilliant idea of discarding his shirt causing her to finish the session with prominent slickness coating her inner thighs.
dominik wasn't just a handsome guy.
dominik was a god; she knew that he knew it, it's what he thrived on, he thrived on achieving great highs in every aspect, his physique was no different.
suffice to say, she did not sleep at all that night thanks to dominik and his need to be perfect, the following sessions did not differ, except as they rolled around she'd begun to notice his less than subtle manner of finding any and all excuses to touch her, be it showing her the proper manner of holding a bat, to helping her practice her swinging, each touch from him had planted a seed of desire watered by the insistent need to be around him every single day.
the tensions were rising, it was quite evident; their mothers had even joked about it during a joint dinner, claiming that the pair seemingly had found 'their way back to one another' this time, unlike the ones before, she did not deny, rather embraced the sensation, claiming that even if he didn't feel the same way, her fantasies had kept her company, little did she know of what was coming ahead ...
that night, she'd showered; situated herself on her couch to watch a movie, with a blanket wrapped around her snuggly. ultimately, she found herself barely paying attention to the film displayed, instead her mind traveling to quite an unholy territory thus resulting in a flutter to form in her lower abdomen, she bites her lower lip, silently chasing the images woven by her mind to no avail.
" fuck it " she mutters under her breath, removing the blanket to adjust her position on the couch, leaning back to spread her legs and push her panties to the side to tease her swollen pussy walls. " oh " she gasps.
every nerve of her body was set ablaze, the gentle touches were sending shockwaves across her body. " oh god " she whispers, further teasing her walls before her thumb began to rub her clit in a circular motion, further intensifying the pressure, " fuck " she whimpers.
her eyes were shut, brows knit in pure pleasure. " fuck, dominik " the moment his name escapes her lips, that was it; she'd slipped one digit into her walls, moaning quietly. " fuck, just like that ... fuck " she whined.
one digit soon became two; two had become three and before she could even make sense of things, her arousal coated all of her fingers as well as her thighs, she stills for a moment in order to catch her breath when all of a sudden, she hears the doorbell ring causing her eyes to widen, who could it be? ... she wonders as she hastily arranges the living room area; adjusts her appearance then walks towards the front door, she looks through the peephole; it seems that fate wanted to mock her as on the other side, he stood.
she catches her reflection in the mirror, her cheeks were still flushed, her eyes dazed from what she had done just now - realizing there was no way out, she tentatively opens the door, offering dominik a soft smile. " hey "
" hi baba " he beams, his face suddenly shifts into clear confusion. " i ... are you ok? "
she looks away then nods, " mhm " she steps aside to let him in then shuts the door behind him, " i thought you said you were going to spend time with the boys "
" they cancelled, so i figured spending the night with you wouldn't hurt " he responds, noting the messy blanket on the couch and the muted tv still on, he turns around to face her and ask. " were you asleep? "
" oh -um- ... " she begins, unsure of how to formulate her lie. " i was watching tv " she says meekly.
" just watching tv? " he echoed, his gaze traveling to her legs then back up to her eyes, " or something else? " her flaming cheeks prompted him to grin and walk up to her to lessen the distance between them. " your cheeks are flushed! " he exclaimed, a singular digit trails across the apple of her cheeks, " your lips are pink and ... " he whispers, " you have this look in your eyes, the kind of look one gets when they've made a fucking mess "
she avoided looking at him, prompting him to hook his digit under her chin to get her to look at him; that's when, she noted how his pupils had dilated significantly, showcasing that he too felt the exact same desire. " dominik " she said with a hushed tone.
he groans in response, his cheek rests idly against hers. " baba " he whispers in her ear, placing a featherlight kiss behind it eliciting a soft moan from her, " you have no idea how long i have been holding this in, how many nights i spent awake, wishing that my hand was your hand wrapped around my cock, wishing i could kiss you at all times, wishing that i would get a taste of you; now, i am done holding back, i need you baba, i need you so badly "
his words were all the affirmation she needed to throw caution out the wind, she cradled his face in her hands, pressing her lips entirely over his in an act of pure longing and desire, the mere flame between them grew so warm that he physically had to pull back in order to catch his breath, he rests his forehead over hers, one hand resting on the side of her neck while his other hand slip under t-shirt, caressing and kneading the soft flesh of her ass. " baba " he murmurs, pecking her lips. " this is the part where you tell me to stop, because i ... if i start, i won't stop "
she pressed her lips over his entirely, " i won't stop you " she whispers.
they stumble towards her bedroom, articles of clothing flying left and right as they freed themselves of the constraints; he placed her down once they entered her bedroom, he placed her down and lead her to the full length mirror, he stood behind her, his chest directly on her back, one hand caressed her waist whilst the other rests idly above her the valley of her breasts, his lips peppering soft kisses along the curvature of her neck, " tell me baba " he whispers against her skin, peppering feather light kisses. " were you touching yourself? "
she nods wordlessly and in turn yelps upon feeling a sharp sting against her slick pussy.
" use your words baba, want to hear you say it " he whispers hoarsely. " tell me, were you touching yourself? "
" yes " she sighs, inhaling a sharp breath upon feeling his thumb against her clit rubbing in circular motions. " yes, i was ... "
" why didn't you tell me then hm? " he asks with a mocking tone, pressing a kiss on the back of her neck, " why didn't you tell me that this slick and warm pussy needed to be taken care of? "
" i ... i don't - oh fuck " she whined the moment he plunged one digit inside of her walls. " fuck " she whispered.
" i knew it " he said, a deep groan soon erupting, " i knew this pussy would be tight, so warm and inviting, jesus baba, a puncidban akarok lenni, édesem "
" please " she whispers, inhaling another sharp breath upon feeling another digit diving into her walls, both digits curling in and out of her pussy. " fuck, dominik ... just like that, just like that "
" how did we waste so much time huh? you were always right there and i was too stupid to see it, it's always been you baba " he grunts, thrusting his digits at a rapid pace to match his thumb rubbing her clit. " it's always been you " he murmurs against her shoulder, alternating between kisses and gentle bites. " tell me baba, when was the last time someone fucked you senseless? "
" far too long " she half moans half whines, tilting her head; granting him further space to explore, " you're doing so good domi, so good "
he smirks, sinking his teeth over shoulder before muttering, " you're sucking my fingers so well, makes me wonder how you'll suck my cock into this inviting pussy "
the statement elicited a whine from her, spurring him on to continue stimulating her at an even higher pace up until a loud borderline obscene cry escapes her lips followed by his two digits becoming coated with remnants of her arousal, he swiftly pulls them out to lick them clean while he looked at her, " so fucking delicious " he whispers.
" domi " she murmurs, " please ... " she leans in, " fuck me like you mean it "
he smiles, " you don't need to tell me twice "
he leads her towards the bed, her back hits the mattress while he caged her between his arms, the chill sensation of his chain colliding with her warm skin elicited a moan from her which in turn made her smile, " sit up baba "
she tilts her head in confusion, " why? "
he playfully bites her lip and murmurs, " just sit up "
she grins then sits up, watching as he removed the chain around his neck, placing it around hers, her digits touch the skull before looking back up at him, he subconsciously licked his lips then closed the distance between them, " you look so fucking sexy with the chain on baba " he whispers, hoisting her up so that she'd sit on his lap, " want to see it bounce with those gorgeous tits while you ride me, think you can do that baba? think you can ride my cock? "
she nods, a bit too eagerly eliciting a chuckle from him; just then her expression shifts into faux innocence as she says, " but i might need a ... a little guidance, think you can give me a hands on private lesson? "
a hearty laugh escapes his lips; he pulls her into a soft kiss before muttering, " by all means, sit up baba "
he uses his free hand to stroke his hardened cock, aligning it with her pussy; the pair share a unanimous gasp, " fuck, dominik " she hissed, " you're big "
he smirks, tugging her in by using his chain, he pecks her lips then says through labored breaths. " you can handle it édes lány, i know you can "
she nods, biting down on her lip before she set a moderate pace - moving up and down, their hips colliding with each thrust, " domi, your cock ... " she whines, her eyes shut. " feels so good "
" yeah " he cooed, one hand gently caressing the apples of her cheeks. " you like how my cock is buried deep hm? you like feeling full don't you? "
" fuck, feels so nice" she moans, upping the pace of her thrusts. " i .. oh my, fuck!! "
dominik laid his head back, observing her through heavy lidded eyes, his hands gripping her waist each time she thrusted harder. " bounce on my cock, keep bouncing, you're doing such a good job baba " he grips her waist, tugging her in to kiss him. " such a good girl "
the praise sent shockwaves straight to her pussy eliciting a moan from her, " dominik " she whined.
" i know baba, i know " he cooed in her ear, followed by soft kisses on her neck, " i can feel it, you're squeezing my cock " he groans.
" i am going to cum dominik " she moans, " fuck " she gasps.
he tugs her in, one hand rests over her breasts, squeezing and kneading the flesh while their tongues engaged in a heated battle spurred by the muffled moans and groans emitting from the two of them, " come on baba, cum for me "
the knot in her lower abdomen explodes followed by another loud cry, " fuck ... fuck, that's it, that's it " she mutters.
" baba, i need those gorgeous lips around my cock, think you can do that for me? " he whispers.
she sits up then crawls between his legs, wrapping her hand around the sensitive skin eliciting a groan from him, he pushed his head back then reached over to thread his digits through her hair, " such a good girl, keep going ... "
she started off slow before swiftly picking up the pace eliciting another deep groan from him, his chest rising and falling rapidly to match the rhythmic pace of her bopping her head up and down, " i don't think i can take much longer, oh yes, just like that "
with a few last strokes, he thrusts his hips up, his cock twitching inside of her mouth, releasing a loud groan. " fuck baba, fuck!! "
mere minutes in she pulls back, a trail of spit connecting her lips to the tip of his cock. " what a session? " she giggles.
he laughs wholeheartedly, " what a session indeed? " he tugs her back up, her body lying entirely over his. " i hope you know what this means? "
she smiles, " what? "
" you're mine now! " he exclaims, pressing a possessive kiss to her lips.
" no where else i'd rather be " she smirks.
#dominik szoboszlai#dominik szoboszlai smut#dominik szoboszlai imagine#dominik szoboszlai fanfiction#dominik szoboszlai one shot#dominik szoboszlai fanfic
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Challengers: A Good Time to be Bisexual
Just watched Challengers. It's 3 am and I'm still thinking about it.
For starters: I LIKED MIKE FAIST FIRST I LIKE HIM FIRST I LIKED HIM IN DEAR EVAN HANSEN OK I LIKED HIM FIRST.
Secondly, I'm realizing that I'm not into tennis enough to have realized just how erotic the sounds people make when they hit the ball are? Like I could handle the make out scenes, the nudity, the almost sex, but the sounds?? Especially for Art, like why did they have this man to make the most erotic whimpery moaning noise I've ever heard EVERY SINGLE TIME he hits the ball (I know why)? Like I felt like I was intruding and I shouldn't have been there. Convinced they locked Mike Faist in a recording studio, blocked out the windows, and had him do what he had to do in there cause that was OBSCENE.
Thirdly, I cannot begin to express my excitement at the resurgence of loser pathetic men in movies. I think Patrick is a loser, but Art is PATHETIC. Like peak simp behavior. He literally turned on his best friend for Tashi, a woman he had like 2 interactions with. To be fair, he was young and dumb and this was by far the worse thing anyone did in the movie, but it's pathetic man behavior. He literally equates her to Jesus. I'm going crazy.
Fourthly, this movie is so fucking sexy. Honestly it doesn't show any physical sex happening on screen, but just, the vibes? The music?? The noises?? Did I mention the noises?? Zendaya is absolutely stunning, and I appreciated their refusal to let her wear a bra in this. Josh O'Connor, I never found attractive before, but there were some shots in this movie where I was like "Ok, yeah ok, I get it." And Mike Faist, the man that you are (between the two of us I originally only wanted to see this movie to see Mike Faist be pathetic).
Finally, this movie is actually pretty straight forward. Tashi says multiple times that all she cares about is "watching some good fucking tennis" and that she doesn't want anyone to be in love with her. As for Art and Patrick, I feel like the only reason they really love tennis is for the relationships they get out of it. Art played tennis when he was younger because he liked being with Patrick and he even mentions that his Grandma is really proud of him, so that's another person he's playing for. And later, he's playing tennis for Tashi. Patrick plays when he's younger for Art, but I think when he's older he might be playing for fame? He just seems like that kind of person. And in the beginning of the movie he seems a little upset that no one knows who he is. Tashi played tennis because she loves tennis, and when she can't play tennis anymore, she's in love with two people who can. And she knows that what they have is the potential to play a good game of tennis. Which is all she cares about. I mean, I don't think that's true. I think she loves Art, but I don't think she respects him (it's giving TomShiv). I think she has more chemistry with Patrick, and potentially loves him more, but thinks she could never be with him because he challenges her too much, and she's too egotistical to be with someone like Patrick who's also egotistical.
I think Art loves Tashi the most, Patrick loves Art the most, and Tashi loves Patrick, but loves tennis above all.
To be fair, I don't support Tashi erasure, like this is one hundred percent a polycule and not like, a gay romance with a woman getting in the way of it. I just think that above all, Tashi loves tennis. That doesn't mean that she's not deserving of love, and that doesn't mean she doesn't love Art and Patrick, she just loves something else more. Tennis will always be the 4th person in their relationship.
At the end they all get what they want. Art wins the game, and wins Tashi by proxy. Patrick wins Art back by physically catching him in his arms and reigniting their friendship. And Tashi gets to watch some good fucking tennis.
#challengers#challengers movie#josh oconnor#mike faist#zendaya#art donaldson#tashi duncan#patrick zweig
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I had a request of Carlitos after AO, just felling exhausted and confessing his fellings because he just wants you to be with him. BUT I ELIMINATED ACCIDENTALLY, IM REALLY SORRY. 😭😭
Btw, I'm still taking requests, so you're free and welcome to ask whatever you want.
Warnings: bad mental health/extremely exhausted Carlos.
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You had known Carlos since you both were 18, and always had an especial connection, but you never saw it like anything romantic. For the last 2 years of friendship, you tried to accompany him to some tournaments, so you were now in Melbourne, Australia. Watching his matches and eating sushi the night before. Even though you have been friends for years, a few months ago, you started to realize that this was probably love, because no one travels around the whole world just to support a friend every time they ask for, no?.
But you ignored the fact that his eyes were always on you, and every little thing you do. But now you guys were so distracted to think about stupid theories like those. The night before his match with Zverev, he invited you to eat sushi as usual, but when you arrived at his hotel room you noticed, it was just him.
"It's just you and me?". You ask certainly confused. You entered his room and sat at the edge of his bed. He wasn't a very messy person, but he had a bit of clothes around the room, his suitcase on the floor full of things and the door of the bathroom open, from where you could feel the humidity of a recently used shower, and you could also tell from his semi-wet hair.
"Yes, you wanted to invite someone else?". He asks a bit concerned, you know him very well, he's much of a people pleaser, so you have to reassure him. "No... It's good to be just us". You say with a sweet smile and looking around. "The sushi is almost here". He says looking down at you. "It's ok, I'm not that hungry". You answer sweetly not to worry him. "What about we watch a movie while eating?". You propose with a smile. "Sounds good". He answered with his big representative smile.
Then you took the TV remote and started sapping, and you decided to watch a rom-com. During the dinner, you started to feel very cold, cause Carlos loved to have the A.C at its lowest temperature, and you loved it too, but the humidity from the bathroom didn't help with the cold. Carlos noticed that and hugged you from your shoulders. "Are you cold?". He asked in a whisper near your lobe, you could feel his warmth, it made you feel safe and cozy. "Yes, a little." You answer blushing a little. Then Carlos got up from bed and opened his suitcase and took out one of his Nike favorite hoodies, a very classic but pretty white hoodie with a little logo of a colorful tennis court. "Here, have it". He Said sweetly and extended it to you. You took it and put it on, it was cozy, you could smell his scent. "thanks", you limit yourself to say. The night was amazing, so wonderful that Carlos stayed awake thinking about the situation he was in with his relationship with you, a difficult one... A platonic romantic friendship.
The next day, he was extremely tired, he even fell asleep while eating breakfast. So by the time of the match, he was exhausted physically. He lost the match, for way too much difference. He felt stupid, not enough. He had already tried to improve those aspects of self-sabotage with his psychologist, but today was not his day to think about that. He was destroyed, he felt like nothing.
So when he got to his room, he limited himself to throw his bags to the floor and do the same with his "useless" body. But suddenly he heard a knock, a special one, one that only y/n used with her loved ones. It was something little but he was a person of details, and he liked to remember that kind of things. He wasn't good with birthdays, words or dancing, nor even signing, but learning little details of his loved ones was definitely his thing, it was his way to show love and this was her little detail to remember. He got up from the cold floor and walked a few steps towards the door, his eyes were red from some sobbing on the way to his room, but he felt strong enough to face y/n. He opened the door and just threw himself into her arms, and started sobbing. "I'm sorry". She said sweetly while caressing his nape. "you made everything you could". "No, I didn't made enough". He said to her and also for himself to hear. "of course you did, sometimes it is good to know our limits, maybe your body was just... Exhausted". She says trying her best to comfort him. He picked her up, and carried her to his bed. He jumped to bed with her in his arms. He just wanted to cuddle. "I think I need you... I can't hide it anymore". He says in a sweet voice. "I know you feel it too, I can see it in your eyes". He says looking Deeply into her eyes. "I know you think we guys never notice, but I do". He says before caressing her hand. "Be my girlf..." He couldn't even finish the sentence because you were already kissing him in a sweet subtly way.
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I'm finally done, I was so tired with uni that I didn't have time to write. But I'm here... Hope you like it. I made a big effort to write this and not to fall asleep while doing it. IM SO TIRED.
BTW
PLEASE LEAVE MORE REQUESTS
#carlos alcaraz#tennisblr#tennis#carlitos alcaraz#carlos alcaraz fanfiction#carlos alcaraz imagines#carlos alcaraz x reader#its 2 am#i don't know what im doing#reblog#carlos alcaraz imagine#im sleepy#love you guys
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Golf ball bfdi analysis
Before we start, let’s make one thing clear. She has UBER autism she is just like me Fr except I hate math.. ok so math is obviously her special interest, no need to look further into that. And one thing I’m TIRED of is “omg gb tsundere for tennis ball” NO. SHES NOT. SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND HER OWN FEELINGS AND CANT PICK UP ON THE FACT THAT HE LIKES HER BC SHES BAD WITH SOCIAL CUES. She doesn’t understand that there’s a possibility of romance between the two because she doesn’t consider change to be a real thing that can happen.. she clearly doesn’t understand/hates the fact that things can change, when people leave her team MELTDOWN, when she gets replaced as leader (she wasn’t even a real leader she just sees life as “if you want it done right do it yourself”, me Fr) MELTDOWN when a new host comes MELTDOWN. She can’t stand change and therefore can’t see that relationships change. She’s very insecure and hides it all behind a “bossy” persona, she doesn’t even realize it. She LOVES praise and it makes her feel like she’s worth something BC SHE HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM, ITS OBVIOUS BC SHES SO AGAINST CRITICISM AND IT MAKES HER PANIC. She doesn’t like making new friends, they annoy her and she wants to stick with what’s she’s comfortable with.. She needs someone spontaneous and silly bc she needs to break the habit of always sticking to plan and making sure things go her way.. I hope this was ok for a first full analysis. Shes clearly very sentimental, based off the first tear moment, not much to say but it’s interesting to me.. She LOVES the feeling of being right “everyone does” well she loves it more than you. She goes full on tantrum mode when she’s wrong and gets upset when questioned. Despite wanting to seem like someone who always has it together and makes decisions based off facts and statistics, she’s very emotionally driven. She shouts at people and physically harms them sometimes, but no matter how upset she gets all she wants is what’s best for her team, making every decision she can to ensure their victory. She sees relationships as business exchanges, she gives her time in exchange for their loyalty. That’s not to say she doesn’t like her friends, she does. She just doesn’t understand how friendship works, and she doesn’t get that they can deteriorate over time if not given the proper care. I know this because no matter how mad or upset or over her tennis ball is, she always acts the same, not really taking his feelings into account, just how well he helps the team, because like I said, the team is what matters most to her.
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Hello! I'll start off by saying that your writing is literally so good. I keep going to my following list and checking your blog for more writing. What do you even put in your writing? Something addictive? Cause it's working like a charm lol
Anyway um ok so a lot of people wouldn't agree with me but I have such a soft spot for the Clown. If it's alright, could you write some best friends to lovers hcs with him? Totally up to you. Thank you for your time!
Don't tell them my secret! Just kidding. I'm glad. Please enjoy.
Friends to Lovers Headcanons
Clown
Your friendship is weird.
Like, really weird.
He has no idea why you want to be around him.
No sane person wants to be around Jeffery.
He knows he isn't exactly the most pleasant person to be around.
With hacking and the drinking and the cutting fingers off.
That's just a shortened list.
But you're still sticking around, and, he actually doesn't hate it.
He actually enjoys having another person to talk to.
None of the other Killers want to spend any time with him.
And, obviously, the other survivors don't either.
You're able to look past all his flaws and shortcomings.
He feels like he can speak to you about anything, that you won't judge him.
He doesn't smile very often, only when he's around you.
Eventually, he'll trust you so much he'll tell you his real name.
Kenneth Chase.
He'll apologize profusely for lying to you about his name in the first place.
With bated breath, he'll tell you all about his history and past.
The things he had done.
Almost as if he's waiting for you to walk away at any moment.
But you don't.
And that's when he starts having feelings for you.
And he hates himself for having them.
Because, he knows he's not good enough for someone like you.
At first, he's content on pushing these feelings back and just remaining friends.
There's no way someone is amazing as you would love someone like him back.
But, eventually, these feelings will not be ignored.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity like he used to, he'll find ways to better himself.
You'll see him start working out again and eating healthier.
He's even stopped smoking and drinking all together.
Not only has he made an effort to improve his physical well-being.
He's making an effort to work on his mental and psychological health as well.
It may take months.
However, rest assured, he will confess you once he builds his confidence back up.
He'll still be anxious about it though.
He's still afraid of rejection.
Tennis will go through a list of all his negative traits before telling you how much he loves you.
And you'll have to stop him. Because he will go on.
Assure him that he's perfect the way he is and you love him for who he is.
But, make sure you point out how proud you are of him for making an effort to better himself.
And make extra sure you tell him you love him as often as you can.
And, don't worry, he'll say it back every time.
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OK. UM. first of all, hiiii! <3 ok lemme just gush a lil bit:
1. I LOVE UR FIC OHMYGOD HOLY SHIIIIIIIT
2. god, i don't even have the slightest idea of how tennis works, but this is just so????? like?????? you know. and i kinda get how the play goes?? YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER GOSH.
3. i actually remembered most of the characters?? considering there's a lot of em, this is practically a miracle. again, you're goddamn amazing. i dont know how. maybe the pace is great, but definitely THE CHARAS ALL HAVE PERSONALITY/DEPTH??? like, i actually even remembered the side charas!!! mike, thalia, diego, felix, that cool ass girl in that shooting game, etc. umh just perfecto.
4. THE TENNIS MATCHES ALL FEEL SO SATISFYING!!! <3333333 omg. i feel like WUOOOOOH u know. i feel so cool playing a cool talented mc omg im loving it (i play a i-win-everything type of mc becuz im a perfectionist with a fear of failure) the matches me on edge in my seat oh gosh <3 and when u win it somehow just go WOOOOOOOH again!!! AAAAAA<3
5. aw, and of course, my beloved rivals to lovers rayyan <3333 *sigh* the slowburn.... (hes actually my first & only one. i go: ohhh tension!?!? and make a run for it. um, if it's ok to ask, is there a lot of content in the romance area as of now or in the future? like, replayability in terms of romance? im sorry if this is rude, i didnt mean to, i suck at words & i wont ask that again.)
6. FOUND FAMILY YAY! FOUND FAMILY YAY! <33333 (we genuinely lack those in the if community pls.) soulmates w/ sam. ride or die diego. very reluctant ride or die G (imma be honest, his name is just so hard so my head for some reason just go Guacamole 😭). aww tobin u very big cinammon roll ill protect u. shenanigans. & others too many to name honestly.
7. help this is just so good i had to force myself to sleep at 3am for a 7am lecture and i sat in the front rows and i put my head on the table and the fricking professor called me out ohmygod- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT GODDAMN!! ILL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! HA! i cant wait for the next update- i'm gonna have this fic in my head for the next week oh pls noooooo. (no pressure tho. u do u author! take ur time!!! ill be here to support u, whoo!)
8.ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AUTHOR *runs over & hug you w/ consent* <333333333333
ok. um. that's not it but if i continue it's literally gonna be an essay so i'll stop.
author. i will die for this fic. ahaahahahah. if i may ask, what's ur fav IFs? (i really, really love this one so im kinda hoping maybe u have similar taste in IFs eheh. again, im sorry if this comes as rude or insensitive.) oh uh & if my long rambles bother u, i won't send it again sorry.
<333 okok. take care of urself, dont forget to eat healthy, drink water & good sleep. have a nice day :D
Wait. I think I might have missed replying to this I am so sorry!!! It gave me so so much joy. Maybe I subconsciously did not want it to leave my inbox haha.
1. And 2 -> THANK YOU!
3. Gosh this is such a great thing to hear. There are a looot of characters, and I definitely worry sometimes that it gets to be too much, but I think the IF is getting long enough for me to give enough-ish screentime to each character... though it takes me a while to cycle back to different side characters. I cant believe you remembered the cool ass girl in laser tag! :)
4. AWESOME to hear! 🥰
5. Yup, being a character driven IF, there will be a lot of romance (or friendship) beats / moments in the IF (which is already true now). The next couple of chapters will follow the same mix of sports, school and romance / hanging out, so you should already have a sense of how much romance there'll be (it'll just keep unfolding / developing for each of the RO routes!)
6. Hehe found family is my fave trope to insert in stories as well.
7. Hahaha aww oh no fictional college life is catching up to your real college life!!
8. HUG YOU BACK (with consent)!!🤗🤗
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Kyle’s character in the future
personally, I feel like kyle’s character isnt shown very often ? while he did get a few issues being centered mainly around him, I wish that I could’ve saw a bit more about him in the series.
(don’t get me wrong he’s one of my favorite characters out of the GA crew), so I’m just gonna ramble about what I hope to see more from Kyle if GA is ever continued:
I want to learn about what other interests beside tennis he has, ik they mentioned cooking in the batgirls series but I just want to learn more about that aspect as well as his relationship with his parents
Kyles potential as a mentor, what are his interactions with Evan like? We didn’t really get to see much bc of the events of second semester, but I would like to imagine he has a kinda brotherly instinct when it comes to teaching kinda like his relationship with maps
Show more of kyles relationship with other members of the GA crew like with pomeline, who probably wouldn’t interact with on a normal basis if pizza club was never formed
Potentially lean into Kyle more reserved side (?), like he seems to keep mainly to himself in terms of thoughts unless he finds smth to be morally wrong. But is willing to speak up whenever needed (idk maybe just make him the mom friend of the group that I feel like he kinda already is)
MORE MIZOGUCHI SIBLING STUFF!! I would love to see more of them hanging out in general, those two mean the world to me
Kyle learning to be less overbearing on maps as an older brother, him learning that maps will be ok and doesn’t always need help
kyle and Tristan talking more often/friendship
feel free to add on or share ur thoughts ! I just like to think about kyles character a lot
#gotham academy#kyle mizoguchi#maps mizoguchi#dc comics#Has anyone also noticed how funny it is that kyle tends to get physically injured more in the story compared to maps who is more outgoing#like sir please take care#or if anything i just want more lil short stories like from the yearbook vol cause those were cute
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Run BTS show content ideas that we might see in the future.
...and not necessarily as a Run BTS episode!
This Photo Folio idea was Jungkook’s because during Run BTS ep. 124 aired Jan. 12, 2021, he came up with this idea. Here is how that episode unfolded and all the ideas that poured forth and a long analysis of how many have been used so far:
In the first part of episode 124, they brainstormed and presented ideas. They were given about 20 minutes to jot down some ideas. They did a lot of talking while sitting. Hobi said roller skating. JK and RM approved, then Hobi backtracked thinking it too dangerous, then Jin said in that case bicycles are too dangerous too. Yoongi said tennis and RM approved of that too. A few months after they filmed this, they probably shot the Dynamite MV’s and all that went with Dynamite including the roller skating rink that ended up in a couple of Bangtan Bombs. As we saw, Tae and Hobi were newbies at roller skating.
They all jokingly talked about a drivers license challenge for RM.
Hobi said hair designer. Yoongi brought up team sports and JK said e-sports, Yoongi said basketball.
Hobi said raw fish/slicing fish which was a very unique idea. A sushi show. We’ve seen various Run BTS episodes that involved cooking and food prep.
Jimin said keyword location hunt meet up using memory or telepathy to find it and all meet there. Yoongi said it could be emotional, Hobi said it would be funny if all but one made it to the meeting spot...they all laughed about the possible outcomes of that idea.
After writing down their ideas they each stood on the platform and made presentations.
They all said standing up there speaking made them nervous. (kekekeke)
Yoongi's presentation:
Sports challenge but wasn’t clear whether to play as one team against another unknown team or what. They did table tennis in episodes 138 and 139.
Psychological counseling or mental analysis which Jimin thought it was a great idea. This was the MBTI Lab videos they posted on BangtanTV back in May of this year.
Tae’s presentation:
Learn a music instrument and then perform a song as a band. Um is this why JK has been really taking his drum lessons seriously? We’ve seen him carrying the drum stick case everywhere and not yet once seen him playing drums recently.
Bangtan in disguise...travel on public transportation etc. and if you arrive at the final point without being recognized, you win. As soon as you are recognized, you are out of the game. Everyone agreed that was a brilliant idea. But good luck with that. Security guys will need to be in disguise as well.
Hobi’s presentation:
Hair designer. Jimin was ok with it as long as it was just styling and not cutting. I am really, really serious now. All of the long hair on the members is for this episode. We will be getting Hair Designer Bangtan in an Run BTS episode. Mark my words.
Healing time doing what each member likes to do for self care but separately. Jimin did not like it because he feels they should be together doing something.
BTS song festival, divide into teams and make songs to upload to Soundcloud for Army.
Jimin’s presentation:
The telepathy meet-up. This is obviously the theme of the upcoming Run BTS reboot – the Run BTS Telepathy Special teaser with them being led out of the studio blindfolded and we’ve seen photos of them out on the streets and in front of that stadium. All of which was filmed earlier this year.
Robotics. I would love to see them try this but so far, not any evidence that it might come to pass.
Crafts, accessories, friendship accessory (jewelry), silver. Of course, this was Jimin’s Vlog.
Hide and seek police and thief game on a large scale. This would be interesting.
Jin’s presentation:
Maze, large scale or 7 identical rooms and each has as much time as they need to escape it. Escape room type thing. I am thinking they did something like this in the past.
Scavenger hunt on a mountain (rent a mountain hahahahaha, money is no object for Jin) similar to the one they did on ATVs but this time walking/hiking. I would love to see this.
Classic childhood games, throwing at a target, hopscotch, rubberband, spin tops, etc.
Tae's additional idea:
Mafia village role play game where each member plays a character they need to really get into while the game is ongoing. They did this in Ep. 120 Dec. 15, 2020 when they role-played and searched for clues in real buildings, and in Ep. 121 when they continued their missions but at the end of the episode they got transported back in time to Joseon Dynasty and those episodes were 145, episode 146 and 147 which aired August 2021.
Namjoon’s presentation:
Create Run BTS theme song (ost) using simple objects. They did create a Run BTS song but it was far from simple. It’s a banger and apparently going to be used as the ost for the Run BTS reboot!
Lucky 7 with simple things (the childhood games idea), flipping bottle competition, bottle caps, etc. Run BTS episodes 126 and 127 were titled 777 Lucky Seven 1 and 2.
Fan merchandise. Of course this is the Artist Made Merch we fought the Hunger Games for at the beginning of this year. These items were already in the works by the time this brainstorming episode aired in January 2021 as the planning stages began in late 2020.
Jungkook’s presentation:
Photoshoot for editorial pictures. THIS is where Vampkook originated. This is the Photo Folio idea.
He brought up team sports again and everyone discussed different sports.
Jimin brings up shooting a music video for a b-side song and JK says he had that idea as well.
In the second part of the episode they reconvened at some point within the following month and a half and they narrowed down the short term and long term ideas:
The results:
Short term show themes: Role play Mafia game and Lucky 7 games. These were episodes 120-121 and 145-147 and Lucky 7 games were episodes 126-127 as mentioned above.
Long term project: Learn a team sport and all kinds of sports were listed: basketball, tennis, volleyball, dodgeball, baseball. As it turned out, tennis was the chosen sport and it played out in episodes 129 and 130. We know Jin ended up taking on tennis as a hobby because we’ve seen a Bangtan Bomb as well as Jin posting on his IG his late night tennis practices and we’ve seen Jimin and Jungkook going to their tennis lessons together for which I cannot find the video but here someone posted a clip of it on twitter.
So...that leads us to why I started this post in the first place: Photo Folio which was Jungkook’s photoshoot idea. We are getting photos and maybe behinds I think.
And the other ideas they brainstormed...I wonder if we will see they have learned music instruments since we know Jungkook carried his drumsticks everywhere. Playing music instruments as a band, a b-side song music video shoot, large scale maze, robotics, hair designer, Bangtan in disguise...all ideas we are waiting to see realized. They did so good coming up with ideas.
NOTE: I believe the brainstorming episode 124 was filmed in 2020 because they spoke about social distancing. The first part of the episode with blonde Jimin was filmed probably March 2020 and the second part with black hair Jimin was filmed probably late April or early May before the 28th because by then Yoongi had black hair.
#Run BTS the show#vampkookie#i got to watch a bunch of Run BTS shows for this post#i would love to see them playing instruments on stage#i think going to concerts where artists play instruments has influenced them#i see a bruno mars/anderson paak vibe#one can dream and hope#bts chapter 2#blonde jimin
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🅱️ugie 🅱️nderson or Frederick Jones for the ask prompt :0
WOO TYYY high fives u high fives u ill do both OFC
sexuality headcanon: bisexual but hes SOO deep in comphet he doesnt figure it out for ages….like. i think that applies for all of the fpc. bro says no homo sm i just know
gender headcanon: i really like the idea of trans guy augie both bc i enjoy making my faves transgender like me but also because i feel it adds another layer to specifically his + skips relationship in that theyre both almost overcompensating their masculinity but in different ways. where augie specifically clings onto a desire to be perceived as strong and macho and “the brawns” bc its what has been presented to him throughout his life as the ideal form of masculinity. or something <3
a ship i have with said character: WELL u + toon have def warmed me up to skaugie a lot i must say like ive always had it in the back of my mind like “wouldnt this be funny” but the more i think about the more i think yea. frenemies to lovers its sweet actually + i think a really interesting narrative could be built around jt. like already u have that foundation to build off of them being on one hand “rivals” + on the other really caring about each other + working well together in a way neither will admit. also fraugie is funny
a brotp i have with said character: i really love his + aprils friendship removing the love triangle Business bc it feels like they shouldnt click as well as they do yet they bounce off each other in a way thats super fun to watch 😭😭 “are u ok april” “oh sure i always sit around tied to a rock” to “april youre bananas youve freaked out” “dues are one dollar payable in advance :-)” april is at her driest w him fr its so funny. also the scene when theyre surfing is cute. also this makes me giggle
a notp i have with said character: well i wouldnt ship him + april romantically i would never wish that upon her
a random headcanon: grown very attached to the idea of him being an artist….having started as a grounding technique but evolved into a hobby. he mostly draws elmo but skip april mudsy + boo r in his sketchbook too
general opinion over said character: i want to throw him against the wall like a tennis ball
sexuality headcanon: bi since 1969
gender headcanon: trans guy its just very important to me no deep reason like w augie he just genuinely is trust me. uses he/they believe it 🙏🙏
a ship i have with said character: fraphne + fraggy r soooo good theyre so good man. the way the former has been done in canon before varies in how much i like it like im so tired of all the jealousy subplots BUT in movies like stage fright + the sword and the scoob? they get the dynamic right im saying
a brotp i have with said character: HIM AND VELMA!!!! their friendship is SOO important to me theyre literally besties 😭😭 like the crux of their relationship is how they trust and respect each others judgement so much and i think they really deeply relate to each other on some levels. also theyre so silly
a notp i have with said character: i do Not like him and velma in a romantic context
a random headcanon: he gets newspapers when he can so he can complete all the daily puzzles inside of them
general opinion over said character: he means the WORLD 2 me
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ok so bc i’m not going to watch the challengers movie, here are my thoughts on the whole art/patrick/tashi situation.
this is my interpretation of their relationship and if you don’t like it you are more than welcome to not write with art. he will likely mention both or one of them a lot in his threads and patrick especially has messed him up a great deal, so if you’re not interested or if you think it’ll make you uncomfortable, please don’t write with art. (tashi hasn’t messed him up but when she’s with patrick she’s not the best but she’s fine with art and art loves her so much).
art and patrick have been friends since college. they met because of tennis and art has always had a little thing for patrick, but he’s never said anything about it because he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship. but then they meet tashi and art can tell he’s falling but he can tell patrick is too and he doesn’t know what to do.
i am of the opinion that they did have a threesome in the hotel room and that it was the best experience of art’s life and he left wanting more of it. and then patrick starts dating tashi and they never talk about the threesome except when patrick comes over to art’s for sex and they don’t talk about that, either. sometimes tashi joins them and sometimes she doesn’t but either way it’s not talked about. it’s not good for art because he’s in love with both patrick and tashi at the same time and he knows patrick isn’t good for him but he doesn’t care because he’s getting attention and good sex and he’s always been a people pleaser so he’s not going to deny either tashi or patrick what they want.
and then patrick and tashi break up and art is very happy about this even if he’ll never say it. and he ends up with tashi (he’s also very happy about this because tashi is amazing and wonderful and he doesn’t deserve her at all) and they don’t see patrick much because the breakup was messy. and then he comes back as art’s competition and all the Feelings come back and art is once again in this loop of giving patrick whatever the hell he wants and then tashi starts cheating and he’s just—he doesn’t know what to do
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1, 7, 8, 11, 34, 55, 65, 67, 74
❤️
Hi Mael!!!
There are a couple I answered already so I put my previous answer and a little comment update lol
1 Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?
In my heart of hearts I want to say one shots… but I’m a long winded girlie and I succumb to peer pressure so chaptered stories lmao
7. How do you choose which POV to write from?
Lolol fun of you to think that I have any choice in the matter lmao
But for real, the idea kinda dictates the POV for me
8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?
The MIDDLEEEEEEE
omg I hate starting a story because I never know where to start. Whats a good opening line? I only have like 3 sentences to grab your attention!!!
The end is traumatic because its like ok I’ve said all I need to say how do I stop this ride????
The middle is that perfect spot of we have enough backstory and there's a lot of plot left, I can do whatever i want
11. Link your three favorite fics right now
The right now is doing a lot of heavy lifting for this list. I wanted to simply link my bookmarks lmao
dos oruguitas - maxiel
Summer Break - danny centric poly
Icarus grid friendship crack
55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?
Prev answer: It definitely changes! Earlier this summer my fave was Tennis!Dan (still my beloved) but I’ve been focusing a lot on Enchanted Au: Christmas so our little disney princess has been top of mind. I love me some bewildered Maxy
I can’t stop thinking about sleepwalker Danny 🥴🥴🥴🥴
65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project
in Enchanted Au: Christmas, the kiss! I haven't written it yet!
67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?
Prev answer: “This one is hard because I have imposter syndrome so unfortunately if I’m told “here this is your prompt” there’s a high chance I won’t be able to write anything. I can choose a prompt from a list just fine but there needs to like be some form of fluidity for me (I’m very hesitant to join challenges/gift exchanges cause of this) And then there's also the whole ‘well I chose this and now I have to deliver and what if they hate it and it's no good?????’
So I’ll still with fluid prompt lists and independent ideas for now”
Yeah still terrified of timed prompts lol
74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?
This is my previous answer: “Oh this is hard because I truly don’t know if theres anything I that I do across fic. If there is, please lemme know!! I’ve managed to shoehorn a twilight (movie) reference in 2 of my big fics tho so that makes me giggle.”
I’ve had more time to think about it and maybe it’s if their driving I have them ‘clenching the steering wheel rhythmically’ to show anxiety maybe. Idk, what do I do across fic?
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oh my goodness may i ask about your college tennis mc(s) ? i love this if so much 🥺
hiii <3 and yes omg thank you for asking about her!! ctos is literally one of my fave ifs
ok so random facts about riley and her relationship with sam <3
what got her into tennis was watching it on tv with her dad when she was little even though she couldn’t understand a thing about it
she’s hell-bent on learning one handed backhand and spends a good amount of her training practicing it. when she’s not training, she spends like at least an hour on youtube watching compilation videos of gasquet’s backhand
riley is one of those fans who most often follow tennis for the big four and out of the four, even though she loves nadal, her favorite player to watch is federer because of how gracefully he moves on court. i imagine his retirement messing her up lmao
she loves fast food and junk food so much more than she should so it’s a really good thing she’s physically active 😭
she’s one of those jocks who unironically wear socks with sandals. she also loves crocs because they’re cute and comfy. and she’s right
-
aside from swapping jackets, sam and riley also have friendship necklaces and bracelets. it used to be some joke like “now we can say we’re best friends” but it’s become one of riley’s prized possessions especially now that they’re away from each other and there are feelings
they would always watch tennis together so the first time they can’t because they’re in different states now, they do it over video chat but it’s just not the same as watching and being together. riley never told sam but that night it really hit her how hard it was being away from him and how much she missed him and she cried
the awakening of her crush on sam was that time they went to an arcade and she spent all her tokens trying to get a certain plushie in a claw machine. she left to buy another bag of coins but when she came back, sam already took her place trying to win the toy for her. he also failed but it’s the thought that counts <3
relationship stage: sam and riley have a “bro/babe same thing” kind of relationship. not a lot has changed between them. they’re still dumb and dumber except they kiss now
#typing all these hcs and thinking me and who#i love this ask so much!! thank you <33#emie 💕#nikka answers#oc: riley cromwell#sam x riley
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Adlerians view...
“Adlerians view most human problems as social in nature, they emphasize relationships within the family as our earliest and, perhaps, our most influential social system.”
Parents are a direct example to their children. Children grow up observing and believing that the values, beliefs and goals that their parents instill, are the right ones, moral ones and will help them grow into productive, superior and stable adults.
However, when a child grows up with a psychopathic parent, can the child prosper and become a valuable member of society?
According to an article by Scott Bonn, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “psychopaths are unable to form emotional attachments… tend to be aggressive and predatory… view others as objects for their amusement… they lack empathy… often have disarming or even charming personalities. They are manipulative and can easily gain people’s trust. They learn to mimic emotions, despite their inability to actually feel them and will appear normal to unsuspecting people. Psychopaths are often well-educated and hold steady jobs.”
My father was all of these things, smart, charming and seductive, yet aggressive and mean. He appeared normal to the outside world, but behind closed doors, he was emotionally detached and demeaning towards my mother and siblings. He was always putting them down, calling them fat. He would laugh and say “Just kidding, I love you,” and buy a gift to make up for the hurt. Any friend he had was screwed over. He would lie, cheat and steal to get what he wanted by manipulating the system and defrauding his friends and the government.
As a young, naive, child, I looked up to my dad, he was my hero, he could never do wrong or let me down. He loved me, I was Daddy’s little girl. One day all of that changed. I was 10 years old, and my mother and I were watching my older sister play tennis at her high school, I remember it vividly. She took me for a walk and we were next to railroad tracks when she finally spoke. “Shannon, I need to tell you something and you cannot tell your baby brother, can you promise me?... Your father got into trouble and he will have to go away. He walked into a bank and saw a pile of money that wasn’t his and he took it. That was wrong and he got caught. Now daddy has to go away for a bit, but everything will be ok.” I was shocked, caught off guard, my father was going to jail, only bad people go to jail!
Many years later, I would bring this memory up to my mother and she would deny the conversation ever happened, calling me a liar and saying I make stories up. It was very confusing and frustrating, however, I learned in therapy that children can make up stories to understand and interpret a stressful situation. So, did it really happen, who knows… but my father did spend time in jail.
As I matured into my teenage years, I became distant and did not trust people. I found it difficult to make new friends and have real emotional connections. I was shallow and chose a lifestyle that was immoral and chaotic. My behavior and attitude reflected what I observed and perceived growing up,I actually believed that I was supposed to act like this because I was superior.
I started therapy in college when I began getting into trouble and having turmoil with my friends and in my relationships. I felt lost and wanted to have real friendships and be a valuable addition to society. I spent years focusing on my subjective experiences, dissecting the emotional and cognitive impact my father had on me and my resulting choices. I explored the dynamics between my siblings and my place in my family constellation. It took a lot of psychoanalyzing and maturity but I CHOSE to change, I chose to act differently. I altered my perspective and re-trained my thoughts. I practiced empathy and kindness. I learned to face my inferiority complex by raising my energy level and becoming strong-minded.
It was painful to recognize as an adult my father is not a hero. He is not kind and his thinking is abnormal. The things he says are not funny, they are abusive and racist, he is toxic. To be successful in life, a person must surround themselves with the kind of people that they would like to be. Being around good, ethical, honest and sincere people rubs off on a person by helping to influence their behavior. Having relationships and real friendships gives meaning to one’s life.
Corey Gerald. (2015). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy.Cengage Learning.
Bonn, S. (2018, January 18). How to tell a sociopath from a psychopath | Psychology Today. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wicked-deeds/201801/how-tell-sociopath-psychopath
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Sometimes I feel so inexplicably lonely. It hurts so much. Something changed in the past year. I used to be so comfortable with just being by myself. But now I hate it
I started therapy last year but for some reasons I stopped. But during those months when I talked to my therapist, she made me realize how isolated I was. And I hate it now. I wish I'd never gone to therapy. Now that I'm aware of it it's almost harder to ignore.
I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to communicate with people. And it hurts sooo much. The worst part is that I was the one who messed up all of my friendships. I used to have friends who I actually liked and enjoyed hanging out with but I ruined every single one of them.
Now I only have 2 friends and I'm scared that I'm gonna do it again.
Now with these 2 friends that I have now I always feel left out. Feel like my friends don't enjoy hanging out with me. feel neglected. Feel uninvited and unwelcomed. I always feel like I'm so boring that my friends prefer to hang out with other people than me that's why I don't always get that invitation.
I think you can be alone for a long time but once you realise that it might be part of being in a sort of survival mode and that under that state of being comfortable alone, there is a want to be with people and wanting to form relationships, it is impossible to un-feel that feeling and go back. Because you don't want to go back, you just feel it is impossible to achieve what you want now and move towards it. You begin to hate wanting to be with people because you do not know how to be and you do not see the road to build relationships. That's a scary thing. We need other people in our lives. We need to love and feel loved. If you do not know how to walk that road it sets you into a circle of anxiety, self directed anger and more retreat and loneliness because of it.
It's scary to go to therapy. Especially when you are / were isolated, it confronts you with a lot of coping mechanisms and the reality that there is a lot of change ahead in order for you to move towards being less isolated, less alone. Loneliness is a scary thing once you realise what a giant fog or cloud it is above everything you might think and feel. You're confronted with your own loneliness not only in the present and in every of your action, but I think when you're dealing with it in therapy you begin to mourn the past and the possible time you have wasted and you're scared of the future because you're doubting that you'll be able to change fundamental behaviour patterns.
I think quitting therapy and sabotaging friendships and relationships is a way of quitting before you're failing. It's hard to believe that you can change so you "ruin" something good because you do not feel like you deserve it, have the energy to maintain relationships and / or you quit something that is developing because it makes you avoid being confronted with truly failing at it.
I know it hurts to not be good at making friends and how to communicate as they're fundamental skills in life. But how are you suppose to be good at it if you have never practiced? You're not suppose to step on a tennis court and win a game against Serena Williams. I think communicating, socialising is a skill like everything else in life. Some people are naturally better than others but the level you're at can always be altered. You can and you have to learn all your life.
And in order to become less lonely and better at building and maintaining relationships, you have to move through your own mess. I think going to therapy was incredibly brave of you and it was a good idea. But you have to stick to it and move through your stuff in order to come out on the other side and let it not stand between you and what you want. You want people in your life. What stands in your way? Past toxicity in relationships? Self doubt? Trust issues? Whatever it is, it's painful to deal with but you have to do it in order to be at peace with yourself and leave it where it should be... in the past. Trust me, once you worked through, you will be glad that you did and you will feel more comfortable and you will feel more at peace with yourself... and that's a giant step for you to able to connect to other people.
In terms of feeling left out when you do hang out with your friends, I can only take a guess here but you're taking baby steps here and that's ok. But that means also that in comparison to other people you might be fairly closed off and anxious which means it's harder for other people to feel connected to you, to have a kind of open flow in your relationship. It's harder for some people to get to know you and dude, that's more than ok. Baby steps will get you there. Progress is progress, no matter how slow it is.
Maybe branch out a little bit if you always feel like your current friends do not want to spend time with you. It might help you to find people through doing the stuff you enjoy. What do you like doing in your free time or what have you always wanted to try out? Start there and maybe look for a sport club or art class. It might make you feel less anxious doing something you like while socialising rather than sitting in a restaurant or bar and being completely confronted with your belief that you're incapable of socialising / communicating.
All the best to you. Please don't give up on yourself. 💛
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2021 Year in Review: kimtaehyunq
firstly and foremostly, i have been tagged --> @min-boongie @hobeah @taehyungq @minieggukie @gimbapchefs @jeonjcngkook & i think @kithtaehyung ?? i think that’s all? for right now? i’m sorry. thank you all for thinking of me and mentioning me among the hundreds of awesome creators out there!
this is the Best of 2021 game // post your favorite or most popular posts from each month this year!
unfortunately in my case, i reblog and sr far too often that i exceed a lot in each month. so seeking out “most popular” is very difficult for me and i refuse to do it. however, i managed to take the time and pick random favorites in each month to just briefly talk about them.
one thing i noticed as i scavenged throughout my archive is that... i hadn’t realized how many works i actually have done. which is quite a lot! im surprised at myself for even committing so much time into content making, but i enjoy doing it. it’s something that currently makes me very happy even when this site sometimes makes me very frustrated. personally, i don’t think of my work as anything better than others. i just really enjoy creating. i know i offer a little bit of everything when it comes to content, and i fully appreciate all of the likes, reblogs, and follows that come because of it. i don’t think i ever expected to be here, indulging myself with bts content and giving out my own twist of things... but here i am!
i’m most grateful for just the overall community of bts, who i’ve had the honor of getting to meet and/or admire. gained friendships with mutual interests, shared works and thoughts over creating, and just the amazing support the majority of this community (and fandom) offers! it’s honestly closer than anything i have every been apart of (fan-wise) and that is quite special to me.
so enough of the chitchat, time for some works under the cut!
January
BBC GOGO Jimin Focus - 1.2k // this gifset honestly surprised me because i wasn’t able to get great quality for the frames. i really enjoy this song and i still remember how evil jimin was making a fun song into something... so deadly in the matter of his first verse.
February
Comedy King Taehyung on BTS RUN Tennis - 1.2k // i remember how annoying coloring this gifset was because of all the greens. but the scene was hilarious -- still is imo! how did he of all people manage to get the ball stuck between the racket? please lol
March
Winter Package 2021 Taehyung looking as boyfriend as ever - 1.5k // the winter package 2021 content is filled with so many heart warming moments. this gifset hopefully captured the soft love that radiated from mr. taehyung. he’s just so fluffy here too.
April
Black Ravens Fic - 1.1k // listen, i don’t think i need to even comment on this fic. it was an idea that has been eating at the back of my mind for some time and it eventually came out into words. to see so many supportive friends fall for this fic actually has made me so happy. i honestly never expected to have the reactions i gained from putting this fic out into the world.
May
The Wings Tour: The Final behind the scenes Hobi - 482 // i really enjoyed this gifset and the colors. hobi has such pretty orangey hair and the arrows around him just look pretty. i wish i was able to gain more love for this gifset but it’s ok! hobi is loved by the many millions in the world!
June
Maknae Line Airplane pt 2 gifset - 470 // this one actually sort of upset me. i’ve been vocal to a few friends about this gifset because of a certain situation in the past. i’ve moved on from it, accept the fate of it not getting the attention it deserves. but this gifset is still very pretty to me and i worked hard on it. so therefore it is my favorite post i did in june!
July
Remake One of your Old Gifsets | Tony Montana - 946 // this was actually a game where i needed to tag other giffers. i didn’t realize that it was going to blow up how it did, but im grateful for it! i really enjoy tony montana yoongi, his song and fit. when i remade this gifset i was so stunned with my growth from before to after. and even now, my giffing tactics have changed! (hopefully better)
August
Gifwar | Taekook edition - 1.2k // over time i started doing a little gifwar of taekook content with @/jeonjcngkook. it’s hilarious to do and always fun to gif a random piece of content. ofc i adore this set so much because of grammys 2020 taehyung and that blasted shirt!!! i love grammys 2020 tae so much that it’s the reason for my url to be my url! :D
September
Red Hair Taehyung - 962 // golly. i was inspired by @/jiminslight and their pink jimin gifset; so much that i made a red hair gifset of tae. i love how it came out and i started discovering that making larger gifsets are 1) quite hard but 2) very enjoyable!
October
PTD on stage VMINKOOK - 1.5k // i just very much like this set. i think they performed wonderfully even though it was still an online concert, im sure they were missing ARMY so much.
November
Blonde Taehyung - 992 // this was another set i had made @/kimtaegis because i felt like i failed misribly on the first gifset. i wanted to make it up to her. so as a surprise, i created this one in hopes to be better! also this was a time where i tried making the gifs a little bit more darker than i usually go and it turned out pretty imo!
December
Boyfriend Vibes Yoongi - 1.4k // honestly, have no clue how so many people enjoyed this gifset so fast. when i saw this scenes in the behind the scenes content i was like “oh wow, i need to gif yoongi and look at him right here! he’s so cool!” and just went ahead and giffed it. i really enjoy seeing the love people have to all the members, but especially seeing the love for mr. min. <3
ok, that took a lot. And hopefully tumblr doesn’t mess up my tags or formatting... because this site is dying :( anyways. thank you all who have supported me and supported bts! i will tag a few other creators down below if they wish to participate! and if you already did this game, i apologize in advance!
tagging: @honsool @jung-koook @taeyungie @taee @amourtae @kkulmoon @y93 @sopev @taeunwoo @sugajimin @suga-ssi @jimimn @rainycle @filmsout @jiminswn @hyunsung @taetheists @chopper @blooodsweatandtears @loverjimin @tcehyungs @scokjinkim
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