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#i just died a bit inside
beatriceportinari · 11 months
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Oyster, origami, one square of paper. Loosely modelled on the black-lip pearl oyster.
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scrambledslut · 7 months
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still thinking about alec hardy asking a woman if she’d like to sleep with him and her going GOD NO and laughing in his face
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yazs faith in my fic mostly amounts to no alcohol and vegetarian jelly babies and vague religious anxiety on occasion, partially bc i dont know a lot about islam so i dont really have a lot to work with and partially because the show doesnt really give us a whole lot to work with either
but i do kinda like how, especially in this current fic where i give her a sort of explicit eating disorder past, that like, the main ways that god ends up playing a role in her daily life this way is through what she puts in her mouth or not
if the doctor is restrictive, emotionally psychologically nutritionally, and the master is excessive, yaz sort of hovers in the middle, pulled at from both sides
seduced by restriction vs seduced by excess. swallowing your anger vs spitting it out. desire and consumption and the way the human and the holy meet in the fallible body. you can become the doctor by acting like the doctor. you can make yourself holy by Doing The Right Actions
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viveela · 9 months
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Ur art is so scrumptious.... I'm devouring ur style art and I love ur artstyle so much AHHHDGSHG flustered kyle has my heart 😭😭❤️❤️
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Real photo of me reading this ask. Thank u....tysm...I'm seeing you're referring tomy tsot style art. Hehe yeah it was fun drawing that
I actually almost didn't post that one cuz ngl it was ugly at first and I hated it but then fixed it after a week lol #NeverBackDownNeverGiveUp
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corfisers · 3 months
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in retrospect it's really funny for how long i refused to accept that i'm just A Guy because i was clinging to my sapphic identity (despite it not feeling entirely right even at the time). all the straight girls saying that i would've been nice boyfriend material were right actually, we just didn't know
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orchideae · 3 months
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1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?
"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."
#[ mini study. ] that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years.#[ and then shortly after 'the point is: it's not time for drastic measures yet.' ]#[ /shakes ven into another dimension. ]#[ i thought the ost at the end of perilous ruined me enough. but tale of the yakshas may actually ruin me more. ]#[ also i love how i typed up the bit of the contract and 'for liyue' and zhongli in my head isn't rattling at bars but-- ]#[ he's sipping his tea (the equivalent). one day ven. i /promise/ you. one day you'll get him from me. ]#[ he'll likely be the 2nd genshin blog to run alongside yelan if/when i get to being able to run two again. ]#[ but until then. can we talk about the dynamic of xiao and yelan until we're blue in the face? i'd like to do that too. ]#[ i type this as if i'm perfectly chill but i'm not. i'm really not. the concept of self sacrifice and sacrifice as a whole. ]#[ BETWEEN THESE TWO. drives me /insane/. and part of me sits here and goes-- ]#[ god. what happened with yelan and her team down there? we know that despite every plan she ever made and prepared-- ]#[ their enemies (WHAT WERE YOU FIGHTING??) were too powerful and more specifically-- too smart. too calculating. ]#[ ... and too strong (okay literally what on earth were you fighting? are we talking the khaenri'ah soldiers? like what? or abyss mages?) ]#[ (but abyss mages don't exactly entirely fit the description in her story. ugh. UGH). ]#[ any way-- it was her and her team. /they/ all died and she didn't. yanfei describes it as... ]#[ 'knowing that your life was saved when others weren't'. surely the millilith didn't intervene or happen to arrive. yelan must've... ]#[ gotten away? or something? but that doesn't feel quite right. but i'm just sitting here left with the idea of... when you lead a team. ]#[ you bear the responsibility of even their lives. and yet despite bearing that responsibility; she's exactly the one who lived. ]#[ the only one who did. that has to be a /stupid/ burden. it's like the captain who has to go down with the ship but is the only one... ]#[ who gets to live. only one who gets to survive. i just. ]#[ i didn't think i'd love a character as much as this one. where did she come from; jesus christ. ]
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When the music is so good I forget I'm supposed to be putting it on my mp3 player, not just listening too it
Edit:
It happened again right away, but if I put snippets of lyrics in the tags for every song I'll have a million tags lol
Edit two: FORGET THAT, MY FAVORITE SONG IS ON NOW, INTO THE TAGS!
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xcziel · 2 months
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got a bunch of little baby plants and am doing some repotting but damn i have a hard time remembering which ones can't have direct light
all but a few of them are low light types because i don't like window or overhead light (i am a cave gremlin)
but some of them need at least indirect light and i'm trying to get those situated well to the french doors (also i bought another seasonal fern bc i am weak and it's hogging a bunch of the space)
some of the tiny ones are barely hanging on and idk what to do else besides sun+ water
i thiiiink it's the tiny peperomia, the mini spider plant, and the aglaonema that really need out of the direct sunbeams and the couple of little succulents that need moved in more
the one snake plant that i haven't watered for six months needed a bigger pot so i upgraded it and i hope it takes it well. the bitty pearl pothos doesn't need a bigger pot but less sun and more drainage i think, so it got a new pot too
why do i get tempted by plants when i hate natural light so much? i did buy a *little* grow light for the corner though
i need plants that are ok with just ambient low light - the sansevieria is out of the window reach entirely but has been putting up fresh green shoots? the big peace lily keeps unfurling new leaves in the dark corner as long as it gets plenty of water?
but the other peace lily that was by the window is crunchy now and idk how to rehab it (still green? and not wilted but the leaves are crunkly so)
also i seeded some rosemary and sage and they are sprouting but the mint did not come up at all ://
#someone stop me from buying more snake plants just bc they survive#i killed my poor desk philodendron idk how and the diffenbachia too#i need more idiot proof plants but i keep having hopes when i walk past the racks outside the store#i need a palm or something tall for the living room across from the peace lily that just gets a tiny bit more light#also i want a billion succulents but one outdoor one died and its still hard to restrain myself#i need plants that light 60watt lamp light for by the bed where no natural light reaches lol#but also i need an explanation of where this indoor plant hunger comes from#i have a yard but everything out there dies come the months of baking heat#and only the grass really comes back - it's going gangbusters in the empty plant bed right now where nothing else seems to grow#(but weeds)#and if i have to bring the plants in for the summer they can't need bright light which is what they would get on the porch#also i don't want to bring bugs inside quite frankly - the spiders are enough for me (the gnat or two is too many)#i need to figure out how to get my pothos to be fluffier again rather than super leggy it's ridiculous#plant whining#i desperately want a ficus and i'm so afraid i can't keep it alive#i am very attentive for a while but then there will be a period where i keep thinking 'i will water tomorrow' only it can be almost a week#mainly i think the tap water is not great and i now i want to water with filtered water but i think i keep using more water than i should#why can't plant-coddling instincts be inherited? i just don't have that 'feel' for exactly what they need like my mom
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jrueships · 10 months
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7C2, no I will not justify my reasoning. 😌
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IT'S PURPLE 😡😡🤬‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
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pansyfemme · 2 years
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height of my night is my dad talking abt the gay bars in town and being like ‘oh that ones a straight meat market!! naked guys dancing on tables and all that!’ and then i was like. isnt the one you used to go to. and he was like. yeah
#before my dad met my mom he was deeply in love with this trans woman who did drag shows at this local gay bar#and he would go every night. she died of aids but he still speaks abt her so fondly its sweet#but this particular club is what he calls ‘full of old fashioned queers’#the windows were still painted so no one could see inside type old fashioned.#and he talks abt it so fondly but also he’s like. a bit more open abt why he visited so often#now my brother and i are older and also gay#men lmaooo…#my dad straight up told me the best cruising spots one time. that was fun#i think a lot of time when ppl think of older bi men they think of guys who identified as straight or gay then settled down and#figured out when they were older but my dad’s known he’s bisexual since he was#15. and like. he was rlly in gay culture at the time#and its tbh nice hearing abt it. its not like.#super graphic what he says but i acknowledge that my dad had other partners before my mom. some of them men.#and its just like kinda cool to have that elder queer prescense in my family#of course my moms the same way. she talks abt her life working on all#women farms. and living in san francisco and .#being in this lesbian scene in the 80’s and its so cool..#i will admit. i didnt know my parents were queer until i had already come out#but they never. hid it from us it just never came up.#but once it did it was rlly nice to have that perspective.#bc my parents are from a different era of queer ppl it was hard to get them to understand transition at first#bc my dad didnt really know the difference between trans people and ‘crossdressers’ bc a lot of ppl considered themselves as both#when he was in the scene.#but they learned and its just nice to have multiple generations of queer ppl in the family#its comforting.#knowing that my brother and i are educating them as much as they are to us.
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cappucosmico · 1 month
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dragon's okay btw he just had a 280 dollar shitting and vomiting event. making my life flash before my eyes etc. vets just cost obscene amounts to look at your cat for a second and say "Yeah he looks about alright"
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mr dipshit right after a vet visit HE CAUSED!!!
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taruruchi · 7 months
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HEAR ME OUT !! What if Vil / any of the ob boys didn’t make it during book 6 also what if the ob boys were tortured and experimented on
They'd need therapy x5.
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He's taller than I am, like significantly. Which is great I like tall people. But if I am sitting and he is not and he grabs my face or holds my chin for any reason my brain short circuits.
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quirkle2 · 1 year
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so like, aw man, this is not what you asked for but AVSNAVDJSVDA so you mentioned a theoretical timeline in which wars does have to go back to his era and has to live on his own in an era that hates him, and I still think abt that sometimes because I’m a sucker for angst. but because I’m an even BIGGER sucker for hurt/comfort, I still hold on in my heart that somehow, SOMEWAY, in that theoretical timeline, legend would not take no for an answer, and— being as stubborn as he is— somehow through magic and the spite and willpower of demanding a happy ending, manage to find wars down the line anyway.
If anyone could do it, it would probably be legend, honestly. Drag chboy back into comfort and safety and the arms of someone who loves him no matter what other people say or do. And honestly, Legend’s earned it. They both have. I know ranch au exists but the idea of both theoretical ends being soft because they just love each other That Much is one that warms me heart.
while it makes me sad that they're not All together, i personally love this idea to bits and i think legend would absolutely be the one to flip off fate and tell it to go fuck itself. the narrative of that is so heartwarming ??
he's done nothing but save the world since he was nine at the request of beings he'll never be able to truly comprehend. he's been beaten and bloodied out of necessity and he's been starved bc nine year olds that come from orchards r not taught how to hunt. the world forced him—a little kid—to destroy himself for it, and he never had any say in the matter. and eventually, he gave up trying to find a hole in the agreement or a promise of freedom between the lines. it's for the safety and security of the kingdom, after all
he never valued himself enough to try harder to escape it. but warriors? he loves wars more than anything. he'd Do anything for the guy. and when legend realizes that wars is prolly gonna get sucked back into his own shitty era, filled with shitty people who routinely bite the hands that feed them, legend felt So much dread at that thought.
warriors deserves better. warriors deserves So much better than that. and thanks to wars, legend now believes that he himself deserves better than this—ripped away from his partner as thanks for keeping humanity alive. he's in a better spot mentally, and now that he truly has smth to fight for that's not just an assigned task by a goddess, he's pretty much unstoppable
it could go two ways—either legend goes to wars' era and lives w him, or he takes wars backs to his own. since wars is in genuine danger of people attacking him in his era, once they have their tearful reunion, they prolly go back to legend's time If they were able. legend might have enough power to make two warps (wow! convenient!)
i rly love the idea of them leaving legend's current house to ravio, and they move to find a bigger space to settle down. they 100% buy a nice home on a more peaceful side of the kingdom and they live in the same space and breathe the same air and they have Never been happier. legend starts a garden and teaches wars how to care for plants n shit. wars becomes an author like he always wanted. they already have enough money to retire cuz bein a hero is a very lucrative business, so their house is Nice and they never go hungry and also they get a dog . i said so.
the end. they live like an old married couple . i Said so
#qktalks#bluesmoth#qpr wars and ledge#also yes the . the story of two people loving each other enough to bridge gaps between WORLDS . i fuckin eat that shit up#they r each others' saviors .#they buy a house together and wake up together and make breakfast togetherand oh m ygod wait h ahang on hang on ohm ygod#the WATERWORKS on display when they reunite ......my god#i kept this reasonably fluffy but i real quick wanna talk abt just how fuckin Miserable wars looks when ledge finally finds him#it's prolly been at least a few weeks ? and in that time wars has slept like a homeless man bc he Is a homeless man#he also hasn't been able to eat a lot ............ he looks a bit rough and maybe a little sickly#he hasn't had any shelter to stay in since everybody drives him away from towns n shit . people hate him now :(#and when legend shows up?#it's not even the relief of like ''oh thank god somebody who can give me basic necessities'' that makes wars break down into sobs#it's the ''ohthank god this entire world Hates me and there's finally somebody who can show me an ounce of love'' that crumbles him#he'sso fucking Starved for it#he went through 20 some years of not getting affection#but he was Used to that back then#now that he's lived it and learned how nice it is ?? he dies a lil bit inside without it#he needs love .............he Needs validation he'sso fucked up and neglected#clings to legend like he's hallucinating and he's gonna disappear if he lets go .............sobs his fucking heart out in relief#legend holds him so fuckin close. so desperately
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azumasoroshi · 1 year
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watched the first two episodes of oshi no ko a while back (REALLY FUCKING GOOD, ive been a manga reader for a while but i stopped reading the recent chapters and basically forgot everything except for the major points and god it’s so satisfying to have the adaptation remind me of what i’ve forgotten in the most beautiful way possible)
but this post isnt about onk, it’s about izaya!! izaya orihara!! lets fucking goooooooooo izaya idol au!!!! i cant get this flea out of my BRAIN
i was about to open a new canvas to draw some more shizaya stuff for my animatic that im never gonna finish and i was like huh. maybe i should draw onk fanart. and then i remembered this art of venti genshin impact with ai’s eyes and i remembered thinking man i hope this becomes an artist trend for people to do with their art blorbos! and then i was like OH. guess i could contribute to the trend by drawing izaya with ai’s eyes
and then i started thinking and i was like huh. Ai’s never experienced love from her parents, doesn’t think she knows how to love or how to express it, doesn’t get attached to others easily, is a perpetual liar, became an idol because she hoped she would learn how to love - oh hey doesnt. that. sound like izaya. just a little bit. not exactly, her character goes into more learning how to love/that she can love while izaya’s character is i can love but only impersonally because i’m afraid of getting hurt and his arc would be learning to let his walls down for his own good
SO for izaya idol au, izaya would become an idol because he wants to experience love, or something along the lines of “there’s no greater demonstration of parasocial love and foolish decision making than in the idol industry! ahaha~” and probably “idols are perfect liars and i need to put myself into their shoes so i can become an even better liar and close myself off to any possibility of falling in love that could ever exist”
there’s a lot of reasons he might want to become an idol, really. there’s so much corruption and behind-the-scenes dealing and lies and facades and shit in the entertainment industry that i think izaya would eat for breakfast. he would LOVE witnessing that shit and making his own shady deals and stuff and occasionally ruining lives and watching people rise and fall down the rankings and tear each other down. plus the people who are in it for passion rather than money are fascinating as well. psychology student’s dream really- i mean what this is definitely about izaya and not me projecting
plus he definitely has the looks for it (narita would hard agree given how many times he’s indirectly called izaya attractive through other characters. we love a canonically hot king)
now i need to make everything shizaya because i’m not okay but i have no idea who shizuo would be lmao
like you could make him some up and coming manager (no age difference stuff here sorry lmao) or a fellow idol (doubtful. shizuo can act cute but i dont think he could dance) or an actor like akane/kana or a streamer??? like memcho (my favorite character)
a mangaka/screenplay writer/writer in general could also work but i feel like you’d have less reason to interact with idols that way
idk how japanese idol groups work for men in particular or if there’s even like a market for that :sob: id have to look into that if i actually started making stuff for this au
alternatively izaya crossdresses as a female idol and somehow no one realizes. except for shizuo. that would be hilarious actually. he refuses to do swimsuit modeling or other provocative stuff and his fans are like “oh?? the brazen kanra-chan is unexpectedly shy?? how cute” and he plays into it but inwardly he’s like. god i know exactly how im gonna go out with a bang when i retire. and shizuo watches him playing at being shy on tv knowing that that motherfucker is planning to strip on his last days as an idol
anyway this is just me spitballing ideas but ill definitely write at least a concept/intro fanfic of this at some point so stay tuned lmAo im just about to run out of writing juices on ABAON so i gotta transfer my energy somewhere else and where better than the idol!izaya au
#shizaya#idolzaya#ill be using that tag for whatever idol au stuff i come up with#i drafted this like. five days after the onk anime came out#this has been drafted for way longer than i wanted it to be#this was also sorta inspired by the idol!kim dokja au fic that’s really popular#i think the male idol industry is way stronger in korea than japan thiugh#that said i dont interact with idols at all personally lmAOO so i have no idea#i will do research later i promise#and read more of more more jump!’s stories for inspiration PFF#i wonder if izaya’s group should be a bunch of drrr girls or like. mostly irrelevant side characters#or if he should just go solo which again. i need to research how hard that would be#i feel like he might want to blend in a bit inside a group#would be fun to observe the jealousy and drama and group dynamics up close too#because if they get jealous of HIM at any point he might just laugh until he dies#i have more ideas but i should save those for the fanfic….#anyway#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#durarara#im excited for this one bro oshi no ko is one of my favorite series ever#but like. not for the romance just because i really like learning about the entertainment industry LMAOO#i dont ship aqua with anyone tbh#can he just be besties with everyone pls#i loved his and kana’s relationship in the beginning where they’re like two good actors in a room full of mids#that was a fun dynamic but it just went downhill for me personally#oh well i can talk about this in my author’s notes pff
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ofdraiocht · 11 months
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My coworker today looked at the water bottle my friend got me back in December for xmas that has Naruto and sasuke on it, pointed at naruto and went "Oh I know him that's goku right?" And it took every fiber of my being not to laugh
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