Someone please put a bullet in my head.

this may be a misworded take but: watching (white) conservatives cover the current israel/palestine conflict happening and act as though they’ve always cared about jewish people antisemitism yadda yadda is so fucking (un)funny like. no. no. no. you don’t care about any of that shit. you don’t give the slightest fuck about jewish people, you’re only pretending to care about them because right now the people in israel are currently bombing and genociding the one group of people you hate more

Ok so ima just ask this since I feel like im not the only one who wants to know,

But is it okay if someone were to make an AI of some of the fantasy au charters on charter.ai? Cause if we can I mightttt make one but I doubt it cuz im lazy </3

i would ask that you please Refrain! i mean technically i can't stop you 'cause they're not my characters & you can do what you want.

but personally i'm very against "A.I" and don't want to associated with it

remember just because you’ve done something a million times before doesn’t mean sometimes you still won’t suck absolute ass at it <33

I think

Late last night I decided it best to take a break after the next big update on AMM. Just to get a bit of a stockpile going but also it’s the holidays and all that? Not to mention I still have a lot going on irl that’s increasingly desiring my attention.

dont let anyone tell you madame web is boring, that shits hilarious

Me and my gf got into a bad car accident today

Keng: *Gets hit by a car*

My honest reaction:

anyway this upcoming trip w my gf. will decide a lot i think

Tried to get back into my Serrennedy childhood friend AU. And if I am allowed to be very personal on main for a moment, I think my being unable to work on a fic where Leon has a shit load of trauma because of my trauma is Something

And I'm realizing there's probably a lot more to unpack than I thought. I thought the reason trying to reread any of it and working on the draft for the next chapter was simply because I wrote it while in the traumatic situation, so it reminded me of it.

I didn't ever intentionally channel what I was going through into the fic… but it slipped in. Leon's hair not being washed often enough. One of the many, MANY traumatic things that happened this year was our landlord illegally having our water shut off, which we pretty much just lived with because we didn't think it was worth fighting. So I did go an extended period of time without bathing. (We had a gym membership where we could shower, but I have sensory issues with showers so :/)

Leon having no one except Luis. That's not a more specific trauma, but I've struggled with feeling lonely for a long ass time now, and the more recent big trauma fest definitely worsened the problem, because literally no one knows the full extent of it. I can't really talk about it because some of it is stuff that's been slowly building for years and the trauma dumps would have their own trauma dumps. Even with a couple close friends, that already know the background and wouldn't need all the context, I haven't felt like I could talk about it because a lot of the most traumatic elements are almost entirely self inflicted, which makes it embarrassing to admit to. (Things would have been traumatic no matter what, but it could have been significantly less traumatic.)

The dirty hair and loneliness are currently the only connections to my personal trauma that I'm aware of, but I'm certain more of it slipped in that I'd notice if I reread all of it. After having the realization about those, I just had to close everything I had open related to it because I'm just. Not ready to unpack all of that.

I think unpacking it will be necessary and therapeutic, but it'll be messy and probably get worse before it gets better, and the one very amazing event that served as my lifeline to keep going and not just give up on life when I was in the thick of the bad situation is in less than a week, and there's absolutely no way I'm going to risk jeopardizing my enjoyment of it by falling apart before it.

funniest shit I’ve woken up to tbh

California girls are unforgettable.

California drivers make you fucking life flash before your eyes.

Solomon honey baby. Respectfully die.

WDYM I HAD TO EXCHANGE YOU?? I KNEW HE WOULD BE IN THE NEXT NIGHTMARE. I HATE HIM SM

Oh man the call from dad I'm gonna get

"No more giving my number out to random people who flirt with me at work" I say as if I'm not going into the next shift with a pen and tissues in my pocket