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diezmil10000 · 4 months

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2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!

(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)

so i've been doing this for 10 years :P

i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavange for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.

my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.

(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)

when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.

and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.

on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!

the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:

i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.

everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.

i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.

so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):

this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3

the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).

that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.

i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.

it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.

i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:

then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.

the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!

so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.

i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.

and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.

i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.

examples:

as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.

i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)

i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.

but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.

thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.

#diez's art thoughts

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rpsquad · 4 months

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In Melius

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

7.5k words, 17 pages; Mild TW/CW for a panic attack/flashback, but it's honestly super mild. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a very festive Diebus Deam to everyone. This is the last true 'story' to come from my RGB series, and I think I'm alright with that. Far from the last story I'll be writing about these characters, but it does feel odd to be ending this set. Did you guys know I posted part one, Praeterita, over two years ago? It's honestly a bit crazy to me to see how much better my writing has become in just that time. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the festive family fluff and fun. I had a lot of fun writing it.

As requested, Thim's character sheet

—————————————— * * * ——————————————

The snow continued to fall, and Aeno shivered. He’d never suffered the cold well. Shula was even worse than him about it, though she had the excuse of growing up in a desert. Aeno was just simply weak to it, his nature oppositional to snow and ice.

“Cold?” A voice asked from behind him, and Aeno didn’t have to look to know it was Thim. His husband draped a heavy traveling cloak over Aeno’s shoulders and smiled at him.

Aeno looked down into the courtyard below.

“I could feel you shivering out here.” Thim continued, fond amusement over laying concern. “Why didn’t you grab your cloak?”

Shrugging, Aeno cupped his palms over his mouth to hide his smile. The cloak was Thim’s best, pale silvery-blue and warm around his shoulders. Truthfully, Aeno had forgotten to grab his own cloak, too focused on his destination to remember the weather, but it was a nice treat to be given Thim’s to wear instead. He couldn’t say he was missing his own.

Sword clanged against shield in the courtyard below them, drawing both their attention. “They’ve grown so much.” Aeno commented as they watched Ashlee and Alburn spar. Lee jabbed at her brother with her spear, but Alburn raised his shield in time to deflect the blow. “It seems like only yesterday that the twins were poking at them in their cribs.”

Thim hummed, and their pride intermingled, “Anchieta and Adonis would nearly be knights by now if they’d followed our path. I’m already considering letting Adonis take on some of the responsibilities for the keep. He’s got the head for it.”

“I know.” Aeno sighed. “I’m considering the same for Anchieta. Soon we’ll only be Lords in name, and only see our eldest children for holidays.”

Below, Auburn fell on his back and Lee tapped the tip of her training spear against his chest before helping him up. Thim snorted and bumped his shoulder against Aeno’s. “The birds will have to leave the nest at some point.” He said, as if Aeno couldn’t feel the vein of shared dread that ran between them at the thought. “We still have a few more years though. No need to start worrying yet.”

Aeno looked up to see Thim already looking at him. His husband’s brow was pinched, too many colors and emotions melding together to see any clearly. Aeno pressed their shoulders together. “True.” He said, wistfulness for the days when their eldests had still been young coloring his tone. “And Abbie and Ari are still young. It’ll be a while yet before they’re ready to be on their own.”

“Those two are going to start bouncing off the walls soon.” Thim said with a snort. “Diebus Deam cannot come quickly enough for them.”

The sound of laughter rose up from the courtyard, and they looked down to see Alburn helping Lee up off the ground this time. Lee was almost a year older than Alburn, but they seemed to trade off who won their matches easily. Aeno was just glad they had yet to turn too competitive against each other, as happy to help each other grow as they were to fight against each other.

“They aren’t the only ones.” Aeno commented. “I caught Alburn poking around my office the other day. I’m not sure if he was looking for presents, or for something else, but the timing makes me nearly certain it was connected to the upcoming holiday.”

Thim laughed, his shoulder shaking against Aeno’s. “I hope he wasn’t snooping for presents. We must have taught him better strategic thinking than that. Or the twins must have by now.” Aeno hummed, not voicing his thoughts on the latest chess game he’d witnessed between Alburn and Lee. His son was far from dumb, but he lacked an interest in strategy to match his swordplay skills.

“Oh, huh.” Thim’s gaze became far off, his eyes turning a pretty light blue-purple color Aeno associated with deep thought. “You know, I came back to my office the other day to find some of my things in the wrong places. Nothing too concerning, and not so badly as to make it look ransacked, but… someone had definitely been there while I was away. I wonder if it was Alburn. Or Lee, they very well could be working together.”

Aeno smiled, the beginnings of an idea forming in his mind. “I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.”

—————————————— * * * ——————————————

The forests surrounding the family home were perfect for gathering bonfire wood; dense, old, and very familiar to Aeno, who had started wandering them about the same time he learned to walk. Technically, as Adonis had reminded Aeno many times in the last hour, they could leave the gathering to the servants and stay inside until the fire. There wasn’t much snow on the ground yet (The younger children had been voicing complaints; Aeno had yet to tell them that there was a snowstorm expected in the next few days), but it was bitingly cold. Aeno had been sure to bundle the children warmly before going out, and Thim had done the same for him. Regardless of the weather though, Diebus Ignis wouldn’t feel right without a frosty trek in the woods to search for somewhat dry wood.

Ignis had been a favorite among him and his siblings as children, for rather self-explanatory reasons. Even after the novelty of the nearness to their last name had worn off, fires were a favorite in their household. Thim still liked to tease Aeno for his habit of staring into fireplaces. The same seemed to have held true for Aeno’s own children, only Anchieta and Adonis offering any complaints about the activities of the day.

“Hey, Dad.” Adonis’ voice drew Aeno out of his thoughts, his son’s gaze forward with a small frown. “I think someone’s arguing up ahead. At least three people are frustrated.”

Aeno sighed. “It’s probably Adalynn, Alburn, and Ari. I told them they should discuss who is going to light the bonfire tonight. Your Papa must not be back yet, or else he’d have sorted them.”

Resigned, Aeno glanced behind him and the sleigh carrying the firewood. It should be brought to their little collection spot so Anchieta and Lee could build the fire as they liked before Aeno dealt with the argument. But, he didn’t want to just leave his kids to it either. If they were still at it then they weren’t going to find a solution by themselves.

“Here.” Aeno handed the sleigh’s handle to Adonis. “You take this the rest of the way to your sisters, I’ll deal with these three.”

Adonis snorted, eyes the same murky yellow they’d been all afternoon. “You aren’t really going to let Ari light the fire are you? I know she’s improved a lot, but she’s still only nine. Alburn nearly burned the house down at that age.”

Aeno just shrugged. Ari had shown much more control so far than Alburn had at the same age. Alburn had been, and still was, a rather emotional child. His laughter and tears both came frighteningly easy, a trait Aeno was sure came from Thim, and it made it difficult for him to control his flames. Meanwhile, Ari was rather calm and serene for a child of her age. Aeno wasn’t sure who she got it from, but Aeno thanked the goddesses everyday for blessing his youngest with a level-headedness missing from many of his children.

“ – to light the fire last year, so it’s my turn this time.” Alburn’s voice reached Aeno’s ears and he caught sight of the three of them. Adalynn, Alburn, and Ariana, just as he predicted. Alburn and Adalynn stood facing each other, arms folded. Ari was sitting on a stump beside them, chin in her hands and pouting.

“Yeah, but you’ve done it for years before that. You should let someone else have a turn.” Adalynn rebutted, not noticing Aeno’s approach. Aeno bypassed them and knelt down next to Ari, gently putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey there, Sweetie.” Aeno smiled at his youngest. “What happened? You look upset.” Ari shrugged glumly, her round orange eyes turning to Aeno. “Did the other two shout at you?”

Ari slowly shook her head. “No, they didn’t shout. But they said I couldn’t light the fire because I’m too young and I’ll burn the forest down. I tried to say that my control is really good, because you and Mom and Papa have all said so, but they wouldn’t listen and just started arguing with each other instead.”

Aeno hummed, taking that in. Altogether, he was honestly impressed it hadn’t devolved into a shouting match yet. Perhaps they could have been nicer, but neither of them would have been allowed to light the fire at nine, so they had most likely assumed the same would be true of Ari. But this would keep happening every year, now that Ari was a part of the discussion too. Alburn and Adalynn had been left to decide for themselves last year, which had worked out well enough, but they would most likely continue to ignore Ari in years to come, perpetually viewing her as the baby.

“So.” Aeno stood, projecting his voice just enough to get the attention of his still arguing children. “I was planning on allowing you three to decide who is going to light the fire tonight among yourselves, but it seems you're having some trouble with it. And I’d meant for you to include Ari in this, she’s shown impressive ability with her magic and is perfectly capable of safely lighting the fire.”

“Wha – but I wasn’t allowed to light it until I was twelve!” Alburn exclaimed, his expression crossing from annoyed into upset. “And then Ada did it last year, even though she was only eleven. It should be my turn this year!”

“And Ari’s control of her fire has been much more impressive than either of yours at the same age.” Aeno said, trying to keep his voice as even and diplomatic as possible. It figured that Alburn would only become defensive the moment Aeno joined the conversation. “But I’m not saying you can’t light the fire tonight. I thought of a different way of doing it that I think you should all consider.”

Alburn stayed quiet, just frowning at Aeno, but Adalynn tilted her head slightly and said, “Something different? Like what?”

Ariana had finally perked up and decided to join the conversation, walking over and standing beside Alburn. The two knocked elbows, and Aeno noticed Alburn’s frown shift as he glanced down at his youngest sister. Aeno didn’t have the empathy abilities of his husband, but he thought there was some guilt in Alburn’s expression. He’d have to talk to Alburn about apologizing later.

“You could all light it together, instead of having to trade off who does it every year. You can each pick out a stick from the firewood that will burn well, and light that before putting it back it the fire.” Aeno scanned his children’s faces to see what they thought. Ari had significantly brightened, clearly enamored with the idea of helping and not fighting with her siblings. Adalynn also seemed pleased. Aeno was pretty sure she hadn’t really thought she would win an argument against her brother. “What do you think?”

Ari and Adalynn both nodded, with varying levels of enthusiasm, but Alburn stayed quiet for a moment. His eyebrows were furrowed and his gaze was directed at the carpet of dead leaves at their feet. When he looked back up at Aeno, he nodded as well. “That sounds alright.”

—————————————— * * * ——————————————

“Is it fair, you think,” Shula began with a smile on her lips, “that it’s just Thim out there with the kids?”

Aeno looked out the window they were both sitting at, cups in hand, and shrugged. Outside, he could see Thim and the children building snow forts in preparation for the oncoming battle. It had snowed heavily last night, leaving a couple feet of freshly fallen snow to play with, on Diebus Aquam no less.

Needless to say, the children had been ecstatic.

Abbie and Ari’s excitement this morning had woken up most of the house. Whoever had not been awake surely didn’t stay sleeping after Alburn awoke and began insisting, at the top of his lungs, that a snowball fight was immediately necessary. Shula and Thim had talked him down to waiting for breakfast first, but after that he practically flew outside with the youngest girls on his heels. Thim had wondered aloud if Alburn gained a new ability without any of them noticing.

Now, it was Alburn, Abbie, Ari, Adalynn, Lee, and Thim outside. Anchieta and Adonis had both insisted that it was too cold and they were too old to be participating in a snowball fight. Aeno imagined they had found a quieter activity to enjoy in the library. Alburn seemed to have teamed up with Ari and Abbie immediately when they all went outside together, leaving Adalynn, Lee, and Thim together on a team.

“To who?” Aeno asked his wife. “Thim or the kids?”

Shula snorted, and then hummed like she was actually considering the question. The act did not, of course, fool Aeno, who could feel the way her amusement sparkled like laughter. “Well, on one hand, we have left our husband to fend for himself against five of our children, which is what this snow fight has become every year without fail. On the other hand, Thim is the Lord Commander and leader of the King’s armies, so surely he can outsmart the kids.”

Aeno smiled into his cup. The snow forts had been slowly growing as they spoke. “That almost works, until they – Oh, they’re starting.” Aeno watched with rapt attention as the first volleys of snowballs were thrown, infected by Thim’s excitement. From what Aeno could see, each team had built a three-wall snowfort in the yard. Alburn and the younger girls had given theirs’ windows which they were trying to throw snowballs through, but they couldn’t throw them far enough to reach the other team. Thim’s team were peeking out of their snow fort with each throw (it reminded Aeno of gophers), though most of their snowballs were just thudding against the walls of Alburn’s fort.

“I wonder how long Alburn and the girls’ fort will hold up against that assault.” Aeno commented, and Shula hummed in agreement. The pieces of wall around the windows they had built seemed poorly supported, and Aeno swore he’d been seeing plenty of snowballs hitting the upper parts of the wall.

“I wouldn’t put it past Thim to be aiming to topple it. It’s too bad Alburn’s creativity is backfiring though. Where do you think he got that idea?”

Aeno glanced over his son’s snow fort. It did remind him of something, in a vague sense. Maybe, if he squinted, it looked like – “The castle battlements, probably. We have windows like that in the outer walls for archers during a siege. Seems like he’s starting to take those strategy lessons seriously, which is encouraging.”

“Always thinking about work.” Shula said with a sigh. “It is a holiday, you know. You could stand to relax for a little bit. How about we all have some fun as – Oh~ what’s going on over there.”

Shula pointed out the window, and Aeno followed her gaze. After a moment, he spotted what she meant. At the outskirts of the yard, it seemed Abbie had approached Adalynn. They were too far for Aeno or Shula to see them in any detail, but they seemed to be looking at each other and no snowballs had been thrown as far as Aeno could tell. Aeno could practically see the pouty, begging face Abbie was sure to be using against Adalynn. After about a minute of them talking, Adalynn followed Abbie to Alburn’s snow fort.

“Seems we have our first turncoat. How long do you think it’ll take Thim to notice?” Aeno asked, and then chuckled as a feeling like a sigh of exasperation burst in their shared mind-space. “That didn’t take long.”

“Poor Thim.” Shula said, trying to sound solemn through the grin pulling at her mouth. “This happens to him every year, and yet he continues to hope. It’s admirable of him, and yet it sets him up for disappointment every time.”

Aeno smiled. “Indeed.”

The snowball fight continued, with Thim and Lee still pelting Alburn’s fort with snowballs. Their fire rate had slowed significantly though, with enough time between volleys that Aeno suspected they’d run out of prepared snowballs and were now having to make more. Aeno reckoned that Adalynn, their weakest thrower, had been sent to gather more snow and use it to make more snowballs. Alburn’s team was throwing a bit faster than Thim’s, but not by much. It was probably because someone had told the team about their front wall’s weakness, and the windows were being filled with snow. Aeno wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t be too late, but it was probably worth trying either way.

“Anyway, as I was saying.” Shula said, and when Aeno glanced at his wife she was already looking at him. “We should do something as a family later. Maybe you could teach us that new card game you mentioned the other day.”

Aeno shrugged. Technically, his original thought had been to play the game with just Thim and Shula, whenever they found a quiet evening to be together. He could probably adjust the rules to include the kids though. “Alright. I believe Thim already knows how to play, so we can teach you and the kids later.”

Shula nodded. “After they come in and warm up.” Aeno saw Shula turn back to the window with the edge of his vision, and they fell into silence again. The volleys really had slowed now, probably as the children lost their energy and motivation. Neither side had made any advances in the time they were talking.

“Do you think Lee will switch sides?” Aeno asked.

“Hmm..” Shula hummed, and Aeno heard her nails click against her cup. “She’s done it before, but maybe squiring has taught her some loyalty. And the fight does seem to be winding down… We could be looking at the first year with a tie.”

“She’s not Thim’s squire though.” Aeno pointed out. “And she knows a losing fight when she sees one. Thim has lost the last two years, so if she thinks she can win by joining Alburn she probably will.”

“Thim’s not only fighting the other team then. He’s fighting to keep Lee on his team.” Shula noted, and Aeno heard her set down her cup on the small table between their chairs. “You know, Thim should try to get Alburn on his team next year. That boy would never leave his side.”

Aeno smiled, remembering the way Alburn had followed Thim around as a toddler. It had been adorable, if slightly disheartening to so clearly be the young boy’s third favorite parent. “You may have a point. I think Alburn’s still disappointed he can’t be Thim’s squire.”

If Shula had been about to say something, it was cut off by the head of light blue hair darting out from behind a snow fort. Too short in both hair length and stature to be Thim, Aeno assumed Lee had been sent on some kind of mission. On the other side of the field, Alburn’s distinctive brown and red hair ran out to try and meet Lee.

“Smart.” Aeno muttered, and Shula hummed in agreement. “They’ve become quite close.”

Thim clearly agreed as snowballs began flying towards Alburn instead of the snow fort, but the boy persisted. He managed to reach Lee without being hit, and his sister refrained from hitting him at close range. Worry and determination flooded from Thim, and his snowballs switched their target back to the snow fort. It was hard to tell, but Aeno thought the snowballs looked bigger now, and Thim’s satisfaction seemed to be growing with each throw and subsequent splat against the weak wall.

Alburn and Lee turned and began walking towards the kids’ snow fort, leaving Thim once again on his own. And, at the same time, the biggest snowball yet flew through the air and landed perfectly against that weak wall, toppling it onto the three kids inside and making it useless to Alburn and Lee.

Even from inside, Aeno could hear the three youngest girls shrieking from the snow suddenly dumped on them. Their flailing could be seen over the remaining walls of their fort, and after they’d all gotten up they began trudging through the snow towards the house. With them out of the fight, it was just Alburn and Lee against Thim.

“Thim may actually win this.” Surprise laced Shula’s tone, which Aeno shared. It had seemed a foregone conclusion that the kids would win, especially once they began switching sides again.

With renewed vigor, Thim began pelting the kids with snow. They were clearly smaller than before, and some so messily made that they fell apart midair, but he was throwing them faster than the kids could together, especially because they had to take more time to dodge attacks.

Distantly, Aeno heard the door open and three sets of small boots stomp inside. Shula stood and said something to the girls, but whatever it was didn’t reach Aeno’s ears.

Outside, the kids had split up. Alburn stayed in the middle of the yard and continued to try to throw snowballs at Thim when he popped up to toss his own at Alburn. He was a clear target. Lee, however, had stopped attacking and was instead making her way towards the back of Thim’s fort along the edge of the yard. Their plan was likely to draw Thim’s attention away to Alburn while Lee prepared a sneak attack from behind, which was a perfectly good strategy for anyone except Thim. Thim, who had taught himself how to ‘see’ where everyone in his range was with his eyes closed when they were still squires. As Aeno understood it, Thim didn’t really think about that particular ability of his often, but it did make the man extremely difficult to sneak up on.

Finally, one of Thim’s snowballs hit its mark and thumped against Alburn’s shoulder. The boy swayed but stayed standing. He didn’t move at all, in fact, except to drop the snow he’d been forming into a ball. Thim once again peeked out from behind his wall, this time ready to throw at Lee, and began visibly scanning the yard when she wasn’t within sight. Aeno couldn’t see her either, likely meaning she was somewhere behind Thim, and Aeno expected the man to turn at any moment and catch her, but he didn’t.

Instead, seemingly out of nowhere from Aeno’s perspective, Lee leaped up and tackled Thim. She must have been holding snowballs in her hands as she did, because Thim’s hair was covered in white before they hit the ground.

Alburn burst out cheering, loud enough that Aeno could hear them from inside the house. The boy ran over to the other two and helped Lee up only to nearly bring them both back down to the ground with the force of his hug. Aeno didn’t need an emotional link with his husband to know he was watching them both with fond amusement as he got up and brushed himself off, but it was nice to feel all the same.

They all stood out there, talking for a moment longer, before finally coming in. As soon as Aeno saw them walking back towards the house he made his own way to the door. Shula and the girls seemed to have already left, probably to warm up in front of the fireplace in the sitting room.

“– been, once again, tackled into the snow by mine own children whom I’ve raised with love, care, and respect.” Thim lamented dramatically as the three tramped into the house. “Betrayed by those I hold dearest in my heart for the sake of victory in a single battle. Aeno, my love,” Thim reached out a hand as an actor on a stage would, “Won’t you comfort me in this time of sorrow?”

Aeno raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling up in his chest. “You sound like Master Faux.”

The children began laughing as Thim staggered back, hand to his chest, as if struck. “Alas, forsaken by my husband, the love of my life. Children, you must fetch your mother for me, for only she may comfort me now.”

“She’s in the sitting room with your sisters.” Aeno added. “You two should warm up with them.”

Alburn, bowed deeply to Thim. “As you wish, Papa.”

Lee rolled her eyes but nodded. “See you later Papa, Dad.”

Aeno turned to Thim as they both left, reaching out a hand to feel his cheek. “Shula and I thought you were going to win for a moment there.” He flinched at the cold of Thim’s cheeks and reached out again with both hands, warming them with his magic. Thim hummed and leaned into the touch. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice Lee sneaking up on you.”

Thim shrugged and let his eyes slide shut for a moment. “They were trying very hard. Besides, there’s always next year.”

“You’re so soft on them.” Aeno chuckled and let his hands slide down to rest on Thim’s chest. “You said the same thing last year, and the year before that.”

Thim’s eyes opened again, and they were that warm, bright yellow and pink sunset that still felt like such a reward. “And it’ll still hold true.”

—————————————— * * * ——————————————

”How’s my favorite brother?”

Aeno startled at the unexpected voice, and turned from where he was setting up the tree with Thim to see Cyra in the doorway of the sitting room, infant son on her hip and husband lurking behind her.

“Oh, Cy –”

Cyra cut Aeno off with a hand and looked directly at Thim. “No, no, not you. I said my favorite brother.” Aeno rolled his eyes, but stepped aside so Cyra could give Thim a hug. Aeno didn’t fully understand it, but Cyra and Thim seemed to have their own particular connection. Easily the shortest of any of them, Cyra was on the tips of her toes and Thim still needed to stoop low to give her a hug.

“I’ve been well. The King certainly keeps us busy, but not even his Majesty can keep us from our family during the holiday.” Thim said with a smile. “And how have you been? I see Enzo is still growing like a weed.”

Enzo, the infant in question, hid his face at the mention of his name. “He certainly is. We think he’s going to start walking soon, and his father has been frantic in trying to make sure he won’t be able to reach anything dangerous once he can.” Cyra reached out an arm to Aeno as she spoke, and Aeno wrapped his little sister in a side hug. “Other than that, nothing terribly exciting has happened lately.”

Aeno let go and turned back to the tree, circling around it to make sure it was standing up straight before the kids came down and started putting the ornaments up. Aeno and Thim had gone for a walk to pick it out this morning while Shula and some of the kids brought the ornament boxes down. It looked alright to Aeno, perhaps a little bare in a spot, but that was nothing he couldn’t fix.

“I remember that with the twins. Aeno was the same way.” Thim faux-whispered, and Cyra giggled. Aeno carefully grabbed onto the tree and began to turn it in place. “It seemed rather excessive at the time, but honestly, with how many blades we keep in the house it was probably for the best. I’d have rather been a bit over-cautious than let one of the kids cut themselves when they’re too young to know any better.”

Cyra hummed. “Those were the first thing to be put away.”

Aeno huffed, stepped back to look at the tree over again. He remembered that time with the twins too. Perhaps what he remembered most about it was the overwhelming fear he had still been carrying even after the curse had been cleansed for good. Aeno could hardly imagine how they could have managed without Thim, who had known there was something wrong within a month of the twins’ birth. The time it took to find a way to get rid of the foul magic right had still been unacceptable in Aeno’s mind, the cost of that time too high (Alima, Aralynn, and Arthur were far, far too high a price), but without Thim they may not have saved Cyra. Without Thim, they may not have saved their children. But after that the fear burrowed into Aeno’s bones, complete terror that it would come back, or that something else would come for his family, or that Adonis and Anchieta would still be –

“Aeno?” A warm hand gently covered Aeno’s shoulder, and when he looked around he saw Thim and Cyra watching him with concern clear on their faces. It was Thim’s hand on his shoulder, Cyra sitting on the sofa with little Enzo on her lap. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

Thim’s voice was so soft, and his presence and reassuring warmth did more to ground Aeno than more air in his lungs ever could, but still Aeno obliged. In, hold, out, just as Thim had shown him. Thim had never said where he learned it, but Aeno could remember the few, worrying mentions Thim had made of his childhood well enough.

After a moment, Aeno sighed and leaned into Thim at his side. Thim wrapped an arm around Aeno in return, strong enough to hold them both up for the moment.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Aeno mumbled, suddenly feeling small, “But thank you.” Aeno used to say sorry when this happened, apologize for making his lovers go out of their way to calm him down, but Thim would get the worst sort of sad look on his face, so Aeno stopped.

“Well, I… am going to go help Shula and Theon carry drinks.” Cyra said, standing up. “Keep an eye on Enzo for me, alright?”

They watched Cyra rush out of the room, awkwardness probably making her feel the need to flee. They stood in silence for a moment, content to be in each other’s presence. Thim hummed low in his chest, and Aeno could feel it. “I think the tree’s ready for decorating, just need to call the kids down.”

The door opened, and Shula slipped into the room alone. “Cyra said you seemed unwell.” She said, concern lacing her voice. “Are you sure you want to call the kids down to decorate in a few minutes? It can wait.”

Aeno tried to smile reassuringly. “I’m alright. Just a bad memory is all. Thim brought me back before I even really noticed.”

Shula sat down on the sofa next to Enzo, whose wide eyes followed the glint of her jewelry with a mesmerized stare. “If you’re sure.” Shula agreed. Aeno stepped away from Thim to do one last inspection of the tree. The one bare patch that had stood out to Aeno now faced the wall, where no one would be able to see it. “You two did well,” Shula echoed, “The tree looks lovely.”

Thim smiled and bent down to place a kiss on the crown of Shula’s hair. “Darling, you say that every year. And I definitely remember a tree or two that was far from lovely.”

Shula looked up at Thim, who had begun to lean on the arm of the sofa, and Aeno couldn’t help but think of what a beautiful picture they made. They made Aeno wish he knew how to draw with any talent, as he knew Thim could. They made Aeno wish he was a writer of real skill, like the ones in his books. All he had was himself though, and the hope he could carve their forms and beings into his mind forever.

“And yet they’ve all been lovely to me.” Shula replied.

—————————————— * * * ——————————————

For once in their very busy lives, it was quiet. No children, no noise, just Aeno, Thim, and Shula gathered around a pot of morning coffee. Aeno loved his family and he loved his children, of course he did, but the unrelenting noise of the last couple days had been overwhelming for them all. It was nice to have a quiet morning with just his husband and his wife.

“Pass the sugar?” Thim asked, his voice still rough and low from sleep. Aeno smiled inwardly as he slid the sugar bowl across the table, watching the way his husband’s half-lidded white eyes slowly followed the movement.

Aeno felt a tinge of disgust come from Shula as Thim poured multiple spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee, and Thim gave an annoyed huff. “Just because you like your coffee black and bitter as dirt doesn’t mean I have to.”

“I just think it’s a waste of perfectly good coffee.” Shula responded, retreading an argument they’d had many times over. Aeno was, of course, familiar with both sides, though he couldn’t say he had any strong opinions on the subject. He didn’t particularly care for black coffee, but he didn’t gag on it like Thim still did. Honestly, Thim hardly drank coffee at all. It was a testament to how tired he was that he’d poured himself a cup.

“What do you think the kids got us this year?” Aeno interrupted, just to make sure they wouldn’t continue.

Shula hummed. “I keep seeing Anchieta sewing something, but every time I get close she tucks it away.”

Aeno raised an eyebrow. “That’s odd, I thought she hated sewing.” Anchieta really did. Aeno could still remember the constant whining and complaining from his eldest when she first learned. “Why would she pick something she needs to sew?”

“Alburn has been acting strange as well, you said.” Thim mentioned as he drummed his fingers against the table. “You caught him snooping in your office?”

Aeno tried to keep an empty mind as he nodded. He had an idea of what Alburn, and potentially Lee, had gotten both himself and Thim, but it’d be no fun if he gave it away now. “I did, just about a week ago. I’d thought he was looking for any presents I might have stashed away.”

Shula giggled, shaking her head at the idea. “As if you’d leave them in your desk drawer while you know you have two children living in the castle.”

Thim raised his cup to his lips, but Aeno could feel his smile. “Have you seen the staff he’s been carving for Anchieta? Lee has been making one too, for Adonis I believe. They seem to be well made, though I have no idea where they got the wood.”

“Who knows?” Aeno shrugged. Alburn and Lee had a habit of getting in trouble frequently whenever no one was looking. As long as nothing seemed to be overtly wrong, it usually wasn’t worth figuring out. “I’m sure the twins will love the matching presents though.”

They all took a moment to internally grimace, before Shula said what they were all thinking of. “Do you remember the year we got them –”

“The blankets.” Aeno and Thim said together, and Aeno sighed at the memory.

“I worked very hard on those blankets.” Shula grumbled before taking a sip of her own coffee. Aeno remembered her staying up late stitching the twin’s names into their gifts, alongside personal messages for each of them. Aeno had thought the end result was a very cute set of blankets, but the then nine-year-old twins had been less than impressed.

Thim put a comforting hand on Shula’s shoulder. “We both thought they were wonderful. It’s not our fault Anchieta and Adonis had become tired of being compared.”

“People used to give us matching presents.” Aeno recalled. Shula made a noise of confusion, so Aeno elaborated. “Thim and I. People who knew us both would get us the same thing for Diebus Deam, as if we were brothers.”

Thim winced. “Don’t remind me. Do you know how often people told me we ‘seemed like brothers’? Meanwhile, of course, we were madly in love with each other.” Thim’s eyes danced in a mischievous green, and Aeno rolled his eyes. He might have, secretly, enjoyed Thim’s teasing, but saying such a thing was the fastest way to get the other man to stop. “Secretly pining away for each other, enjoying the sweaty exhilaration of a good spar, laying awake at night thinking about what might happen if the other was –”

“Is it too late to get a divorce?” Aeno asked, directing his question to Shula, playing up his annoyance for Thim. “I mean, the children would be disappointed, but surely they’d get over it.”

Shula bowed her head into her arms and sighed long-sufferingly. “You’re both so dramatic. If anything, I should be divorcing the two of you. I have no idea how I fell in love with the both of you.”

Thim nodded in agreement, the perfect picture of understanding. “A terrible taste in men, I’d imagine. You really married down, if we’re being honest here. We’re just your trophy husbands you parade around to your friends.”

“We aren’t pretty enough for that.” Aeno said, shattering the illusion but making both Thim and Shula burst out laughing in the process. It seemed as if Thim wanted to say something, but each time he tried he started laughing again. Aeno wondered what it was, even though he was worried it would be something rather… crude.

Amidst the laughter, Alburn and Lee came rushing into the kitchen. They seemed to stop short for a brief moment before barreling on. “Is it time for presents yet?” Lee asked, Alburn nearly vibrating behind her.

Thim turned towards their children, and Aeno could feel his mirth even if he couldn’t see it anymore. “Well, it could be, but I swear we have more than two children. Where’s the rest of the rabble?”

Alburn scratched the back of his neck, ruffling his hair. He seemed to be growing it out, perhaps in yet another attempt to look more like Thim. “They’re, um, upstairs?”

Aeno snorted as Thim said. “Well, go get them then.” Lee and Alburn ran out of the room again, likely to rouse the still sleeping members of the family. Thim turned back to Shula and Aeno while shaking his head. “I swear, those two need to learn some patience. I never had so much energy.”

“They get it from me.” Aeno said with resignation. It was near painful to remember how cheerful and energetic he’d been as a child. As he spoke, Anchieta walked into the kitchen, followed closely by Adonis. Neither of them said a word, just worked together to get themselves coffee as efficiently as possible.

They all watched the two with fascination as they easily provided the best case for mind-reading twins Aeno had ever seen. “That’s my influence.” Shula said with a grin, which Aeno had to agree with. Getting between Shula and her first cup of coffee was a dangerous game. “Did Alburn wake you two up, or have you managed to avoid that particular joy?”

Anchieta made a sound like a waking cat, which was still more of a reaction than Adonis, who didn’t appear to have heard a thing. After a moment of silence, Anchieta said, “We passed them on the stairs. You’d have known if he’d woken me up.”

“Ah, yes, no screaming.” Shula said knowingly, a small smile on her face.

Aeno snorted. No screaming yet, at least.

—————————————— * * * ——————————————

After everyone had been given their gifts, the kids had scattered across the house. Aeno knew that he’d seen Alburn, Lee, and Thim outside, testing out the sword and spear Alburn and Lee got respectively. Aeno was pretty sure Ari and Abbie had had the same idea, though their toys were more suitable for the indoors. Adalynn would have had a harder time using the rather magical yarn Anchieta had gotten her immediately, though Aeno wouldn’t put it past his most creatively-inclined child.

Aeno opened the door to the library, and could see the edge of a purple skirt from the doorway.

Shula, Thim, and himself had been worried about the twins’ presents being too similar, but Aeno wasn’t even sure they’d noticed, too wrapped up in excitement. Anchieta had been given a chess set, much nicer than the old and roughly treated wooden set Aeno had owned since childhood. For Adonis, they got a game mat with glass marbles and stone tiles, the kind that was used for Alquerque or Tablut.

As Aeno walked in the room, the twins sat across from each other at a small table with the new chess set between them. Adonis had likely noticed him enter, given the twitch of the boy’s head, but Anchieta was studying the board with such intensity Aeno didn’t think she’d noticed a thing.

Carefully, Aeno stepped closer and settled himself against a different table, content to watch his eldest children play. They’d both taken a shine to strategy games as soon as they were old enough to learn, helped by the fact that they were both frighteningly good. Anchieta had probably won a chess game against Aeno for the first time before she had turned fourteen, and Adonis had shortly followed. Now, they played against each other more often than not, seeing as no one else in the house really stood a chance.

Anchieta finally moved a piece, taking her knight out of the line of fire from Adonis’ rook. Aeno hummed, and both of the teens looked up at him.

“What?” Anchieta asked, looking back down at the board. “Did I miss something?”

Aeno chuckled and pulled a chair over to sit more comfortably at their table. “You’d have been more likely to see it than I would be. No, I was just thinking that you play like your Papa.”

“You are a defensive leaning player.” Adonis acknowledged, though his eyes were back on the board as he thought through his next move (or ten).

“I just don’t make unnecessary sacrifices.” Anchieta grumbled, leaning back in her chair as she crossed her arms and glared at her brother. “Unlike someone I could mention.”

“Well you’re both better than any of your parents.” Aeno cut in, before it devolved into an argument. Adonis and Anchieta could be frighteningly similar at times, but they could also be incredibly different at others. Most of the time they were best friends, but Aeno had seen them have some pretty awful fights as well, even as they got older. “Even if you have different playstyles.”

Anchieta looked at Aeno just to roll her eyes. “Dad, Mom hardly even knows how to play chess.”

Aeno held back a sigh. “Fine, either of your fathers then. And your mom might not play chess, but she’ll rob us all blind at cards.”

Adonis snorted and moved a piece. “That’s true. Aunt Cyra said she was glad we weren’t playing for real money yesterday, or else she’d have left with nothing. I don’t know how Mom does it. She only learned that game yesterday, and not even Papa or I could tell when she had a bad hand.”

“Well that’s not that hard.” Anchieta argued. “You never know when I feel cornered either. I just remind myself to stay calm and focused, and then you barely even notice.”

Adonis muttered something, but whatever it was, Aeno couldn’t hear it. Anchieta must have, judging by the way her mouth twitched into a smile, but she didn’t bother replying. Silence fell over the library, save for the sound of the pieces clacking against the board when moved.

Both of the twins had a turn or two before Aeno spoke up again. “Did Alburn sneak into both of our offices to get our glove sizes, or just mine?”

Adonis laughed. “He was so nervous when you found him snooping, I could feel it on him days later. He was the one who went looking for Papa’s as well, but he couldn’t find them. Lee ended up sneaking into your room to find Papa’s while you both were working. It seemed like quite the experience.”

“At least they had fun.” Anchieta said with fond annoyance. “I was the one who had to stitch the runes into the gloves. Alburn was going to write them on or something, but Adalynn thought stitching would stay for longer, and the thread would hold the magic better.” The bridge of Anchieta’s noise crinkled. “I mean, she was right, and she helped, but still. It was just us. Abbie and Ari couldn’t get the needle through the leather, and Lee and Alburn never even learned the basics of sewing.”

Aeno smiled. Despite her complaints, the stitching added to the gloves by the kids looked very neatly done. She had clearly taken the project seriously. “Well, thank you for your hard work then.”

Anchieta looked away, but Aeno thought he’d seen a smile. “You’re welcome.”

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cursed-saphire-hart · 1 year

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[ Sour Twist: Party of Three ]

Finally finished the Refs of my kids! They ended up looking really good too, so I'm VERY glad I took the time to work them out. I'm putting the designs under the line so that it's not too long. I've never managed to do more than until now, so I'm very proud of my self for managing for three separate characters. Another part I was busy putting together is a bio and showing their pokemon Teams as I progress. I'm also Nuzlocking for this to make captures and battles more random. As I progress through the Rp and Nuzlock, I'll be sure to post Team Updates for each capture and so on. Since me and my sister are writing for the Rps, the updates will come once I post the Fics to read Course you can also see that stuff on Patreon early XD

Team Updates will be posted on my [ Twitter ] or my [ Tapas ] and the adults will be posted this Sunday the 5th.

Once the story is up for reading, it'll be posted here [ ScViNuzlocke: Party of Three ] which will hopefully be on a coherent schedule QwQ

Get early access to new content on Patreon for 2$

I had a lot of fun with both the posing, color schemes and designing the outfits. I had to make a lot of small adjustments to get everything looking right, and it was so worth it!

More Info on [ Tapas ] and [ Twitter ] I tried to make their uniform customization match up with their personalities too, as well as the kinda pokeballs they would be most likely to use.

[ School Bio and Team ]

For Prima I tried to give her a ballet pose to show her love of dancing and the strong connection she had with her Partner PKMN Jeal Paul. I went through a few ideas for her outfit, but decided simple would be best, since she only dressed up for when she's going out to avoid having her pretty clothes getting ruined.

[ School Bio and Team ]

I had alotta fun figuring out Sarah's color scheme in particular since I wanted colors that complimented the bright yellow I always use, especially when designing her work out clothing, and I think I nailed it. All the kids have the snap on skates ( gift from Prima's mom ) but I thought it'd be better to just draw one set to avoid taking up too much space.

[ School Bio and Team ]

Zephyrs Driflim Coat! This was my favorite thing to design! Ghost pokemon have such great colors aaaaaah! XD

Zephyr's also the one who lugs around the food cooler since he's bigger, he's also usually the one to do the cooking and ect bc he's that travel member and he enjoys cooking. Also his ghost pokemon haunts her ball : P

N those are all the designs for now :3c

#pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon black and white #pokemon #pkmn fanart #pokemon paldea #pokemon kalos #pokemon alola #pokemon fanart

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ieatsmallorphansnamedtom · 1 year

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Heyy is it too late to send in the thing for the Stadew Matchmaking? It's ok if it is, I'm just gonna leave this here still, in case it's not. Sorry for asking :'D

Ok so I don't really care what gender, by if I really had to choose then I admit that I do tend to go for the bachelors more.

I'm an INFP and I tend to be really shy when meeting strangers. My favorite aesthetic is cyperpunk, 80's flashy colors and vintage! I like collecting vinyls! Uhh my love languages are words of affirmations and quality time. I like talking about my interest at lot, most of the time it's about video game lore and movies details that I noticed and found cool. I also spend most of my time listening to music and drawing. Oh I also love ghost hunting and paranormal stuff!! :P

As for what I like in a partner,, someone who's willing to listen to my rambles about random media. I also would like to have someone play video games with me and binge tv shows. I like people who are passionate about what they do.

Yeah that's it I think?

Sorry if I'm bothering!

-- ⚡anon

Hi there, ⚡! You're my first emoji anon! Yippee! Anyways, I match you with...

Sam!

You could honestly have a shot with any of the members of the A.S.S. squad, but I think Sam's your best match. Let's go down the list, shall we?

Starting with the INFP thing, I have to admit I don't know anything about that stuff. But according to an infographic I found, INFP's are idealists and are very passionate about whatever cause they are behind. They take delight in the unusual.

Sam can roll with that! He's a pretty passionate guy too, though more steered towards his hobbies. He's also a bit of an idealist, though his worldview is tainted due to the situation with his father. You help to give him hope that everything will turn out alright.

As for your shyness, Sam's totally there to balance that out! He's naturally a talker, so you don't have to worry about approaching him. As long as you're friendly and add something to the conversation (even just an 'oh, I like that too!') and he's sure to come back to talk again.

To be honest I see that cyberpunk stuff as more of a Sebastian thing, but Sebastian is also Sam's best friend, so...

I headcanon Stardew Valley to take place in some alternate '90s or early '00s, so the '80s isn't that far behind them yet. but as for a modern AU, he'd think that's really cool! He would also love your vinyl collection and even has a small one of his own, no matter the decade.

Words of affirmation is something I headcanon Sam likes to give, so that's all good! Sam is a pretty energetic person, so if by quality time you mean quiet quality time that's going to be tricky. But if you just mean hanging out at the saloon or something he's all set!

Sam's neurodivergent 100% so he's down to join in on the infodumping. I also reckon he'd really like to hear all the little lore tidbits you know about you two's favourite video games. He brings Sebastian along and you three start rambling about cool movies and shitty movies and all the movies in-between. Bring Abigail along and she'll go into the nitty gritty of all the practical effects used in gore scenes in horror movies.

I think Sam canonically has a book about UFOs on his shelf. Ghosts and stuff are more of an Abigail thing (he's scared of dead people but not unknown aliens haha), but he'll talk about aliens and whatnot with you. Just don't freak him out too much.

Video games we've already covered, so I'll talk about the TV shows. In my employing Sam post, I mentioned him and the reader like to make fun of shitty shows together. So, if there's something you both love to hate, he'll absolutely binge watch it with you and yell at the characters and throw popcorn at the screen.

Again, Sam's a very passionate guy. He loves his band and his friends and his family to the ends of the earth and will always stand by them. He will stand up for Vincent no matter what he's facing, though he usually tries to resolve the situation without conflict. He'll stand by you, too, so please stand by him.

#ieatsmallorphansnamedtom #sdv matchmaking #stardew matchmaking #stardew valley matchmaking #don't worry you arent bothering me #sdv sam #stardew valley sam #stardew sam

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goddesswitchmother · 6 months

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More thoughts for the ikevamp fanfiction! Enjoy or not, I don't care. I'm doing this for me, and if others happen to enjoy as well, then that's a bonus. Yeah, I'm saying this more for myself than anything as I'm a recovering people pleaser. Sometimes, I just need to remind myself to have fun be myself and not worry about what others think of me .

Desperation pt 3

I hate him. I fucking hate him. But perhaps I shouldn't have slapped his stupid face. My hand 😭. "Theodorus Van Gogh, I fucking hate you. I've known you all of four days and I already hate you. I've never, and I mean NEVER, hated someone before. You haven't once even tried to get to know me. You've done nothing but judge me, insult me, bully me, and have make all sorts of assumptions about my character and yet you don't know the first thing about me. I don't know how you call yourself an Art Dealer because you have proven countless times already you don't have what it takes. You're a piece of shit and I hope you prove me wrong because I really don't like hatred and I don't think it's merely because it's a foreign feeling." I rant angrily as he just gawks at me with that stupid look on his face.

"Also, you'd have to be simultaneously deaf, blind, and stupid to confuse you for Vincent. You are absolutely nothing alike whatsoever, and if I didn't already know better, I would never guess you were related. Vincent, I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I really valued your friendship, and I have no intention of dating you. However, I understand if you no longer want to be friends." I added this time in tears. Fuck I'm so embarrassed. So I did what I do best, and I ran. A part of me was aware that I had an audience. I vaguely noticed just about everyone had ended up in the gardens, probably drawn in by my outburst. The only ones not there were Isaac, Napoleon, Mozart, Leonardo, and Sebastian. I made it to my room uninterrupted and threw myself into bed to bawl my eyes out. I feel so pathetic.

Once I had managed to stop crying, I mindlessly sought out one of the few comforts I managed to bring with me. I set up my watercolor book on the desk with my watercolor paints, several brushes, and the untouched glass of water from the nightstand. As an afterthought, I grabbed my mixed media book, my colored pencils, and markers just in case.

I don't know how long I spent tearing pages out and throwing them on the floor. All of them bearing finished paintings or drawings that I just didn't like. Any works left on the desk were unfinished concepts that I couldn't put together. However, I was interrupted by a knock on the door. And then the door was opened. I didn't bother checking to see who it was. "You haven't even touched your dinner. I hope you aren't planning on skipping breakfast, too. We can't have that." I was shocked back into reality then. "What?! But I only just ate breakfast a few hours ago." I really started looking around then. Sebastian quickly approached me and tilted my head up to look at him. "Uh...." I was unsure what I wanted to say. Whatever it was could wait, though. The way Sebastian was intensely studying me with concern overwhelmingly obvious in his gaze. I never had anyone worry so much about me before that it rendered me speechless. I suddenly felt the urge to cry that I violently squashed it down, hoping he didn't notice. He cleared his throat and glanced around at the mess I created. "You just might be as bad as Leonardo at losing track of time. Just yesterday, I brought you lunch, but you were crying. I don't know if you remember, but you refused lunch. You promised you'd eat dinner if I brought it to you. However." He explained, gesturing to the platter of dinner sitting neglected on the tray near the bed. I blushed as I vaguely remembered something like that. "I'm sorry. Let me clean up this mess, and I'll eat breakfast out there so you can be certain I eat." I offer hastily getting up. "Oh, I'll pick these up, if you don't mind. Just go wash up and perhaps change your attire, and I'll have your place at the dining table set." He offered, already carefully stacking the papers from the floor neatly into his arms. Damn he works quickly and efficiently. I make a noise of agreement and grab a random outfit before rushing to my bathroom.

(images sourced from pinterest)

I had quickly washed my face and brushed my hair and teeth and applied deodorant. You know the usual. But the whole time I was disturbed by how pale I was as well as the shadows around my red rimmed eyes. When I finished dressing I went to grab my makeup to see Sebastian had the same idea. "Hope you don't mind, I just thought that you were looking a little pale and sleep deprived." I just smiled gratefully. "You're a life saver." I say as I rush off to do my makeup.

(Images sourced from pinterest)

(My eyes are actually amber, though, so imagine that.)

I managed to improve my mood and started feeling my self-confidence boost by the time I made it to the dining room. Sure enough, Sebastian was just setting down my plate stacked high with the French toast and sausage I requested. A glass of hopefully cranberry apple juice joining them. "Ooh, looks delicious, thank you, Sebby." I say happily. I see his back straighten up. "Sebby, huh? Do I get a nickname, luv? Also, you look absolutely ravishing. Are you -" "Yeah, yeah, Arty-boy, I'm not wearing sweats today, so I'm definitely trying to seduce you." I interrupt, voice heavily dripping with sarcasm. "So hard to believe a woman can dress up for her own happiness." I mutter, stabbing a sausage onto my fork. Out of my peripheral, I see theo opening his mouth like he's about to say something. "Now shut up. I'm hungry." I add not to anyone in specific.

#cybird ikemen #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp fanfic

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zxnin · 9 months

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Tag games! <3

Tagged by the lovely @sebfreak and @kedyanime ! Thank you for tagging me, this was fun !! Hope you guys are having a great day/night !! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

tag game #1

rules: shuffle your “on repeat playlist” and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people

fiesty (remix) - Jhameel, Blue Satellite

I can't fix you - The Living Tombstone, Crusher P

Love & War - Yellow Claw, Yade Lauren

GimmexGimme - Hachioji P

Mind brand - Maretu

SIU - Maretu

METAMORPHOSIS - INTERWORLD

アイドル (IDOL) - YOASOBI

Shinunoga E-Wa - Fujii Kaze

夜に駆ける (racing into the night) - YOASOBI

Tag game #2

1. are you named after anyone? Yes, my real name is, kind of a religious thing so I won't go too into it :v

2. when was the last time you cried? ...a few weeks back :P

3. do you have kids? nope (and hopefully never-)

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? nope, just the right amount, probably?

5. what sports do you play/have you played? Me and sports don't go well together :') the closest thing I did to sports was swimming when I was younger.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? Their eyes. It's a habit! My classmate who I was partnered up with in a lab had these gorgeous light brown eyes and...it became a habit since then :) (it's fascinating how much peoples' eyes can vary!)

7. what’s your eye color? Dark brown.

8. scary movies or happy endings? scary movies haha, I like a good spook that gives me an adrenaline rush. (even if I'm too much of a scaredy cat for it-)

9. any special talents? tbh I really don't know? I'm often told that I'm good at teaching I suppose?

10. where were you born? India.

11. what are your hobbies? drawing, editing and reading! I often jump from one hobby to another though, I like learning new things!

12. do you have any pets? Yes, a blue betta fish named gojo ;) it was previously white and it changed its colour to blue!

13. how tall are you? 5'2 (158 cm)

14. favourite subject? Biology!! The subject really grew on me after 12th grade because of my biology teacher, she's amazing :)

15. dream job? I simply don't dream of labour <3 but if I had to choose I would love to be an illustrator or concept artist!

Tag game #3

uquiz: Which two Greek gods are your parents?

(well, I'm flattered huhu~)

tagging: anyone who wants to join in ! 💖

#tag games #going to college next week and I won't be here much so~#a quick tag game :)#I'm so late ajfnfkgkgk

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tfyouthinkiam505 · 1 year

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i always say i hate kids

but heres a list of kids that are exceptions

my friends 2 daughters (she has a son too but hes not old enough for me to know if i vibe with him or not yet since kids under 2yo creep me out the most). the oldest is def a trouble maker but im glad shes gotten better cause she was WAY worse when she was younger but she high key funny af. known her since she was like 7 yo (she 13 now). the younger sister is a bit of a crybaby but shes still p chill. tho she always forgets who i am lmao. shes 5 tho so i cant blame her.

1/3 of my little cousins. hes a little shit head. cant say much on the other 2 cause i only met one of them once n i never met the other one. but the oldest one i met plenty of time. hes v funny

one of my exs little step brother (they were only step siblings for like a month or two) but he was a cute kid. very creepy at times, but cute. loved helpin my ex baby sit him. wed watch spooky youtube videos n hed draw pictures of monsters n tell us the story behind them. n he forced us to let him sleep in the bed with us cause he was sad that his dad wasnt back yet(his dad was a drunk n wed have to baby sit while hed go n get shit faced at the bar till like 4 am)

the little boy i hung out with during their lunch (our hs class did a "buddy" thing where wed go to the elementary school n have a buddy that we hang out with during their lunch. he wasnt my original buddy but ended up claiming him cause the kid i was original assigned to was a dick n didnt want anything to do with me anyway lmao but this kid begged a teacher to ask me if i would be his buddy.) hes the sweetest kid fr. he even begged his mom to get his hair cut to look like mine at the time n showed it off to me sayin we were twins n how he wanted to get his ears pierced like mine too when he got older. was only his lunch buddy for a single sememster, but every time hed get off the bus at the hs (his foster mom worked at the hs so hed get dropped off there) hed always run up n hug me if he passed by me in the hall or outside while i was on my way to the bus

just like the buddy thing, our class also went to help kids with their class work n there was a little girl i helped in math. she was v nice and very smart too, idk why they felt it necessary to assign her someone to help her with her class work. she also lowkey had like doll eyes. like very O-O type eyes. very vibrant green color

my old neighbors 2 kids. her daughter was absolutely insane n also very hyper n talkative. always had me chasin after her when id baby sit. she was fun tho. her son was more quiet n reserved but he liked me for some reason. like he hated being picked up n would throw a fit anytime someone other than his parents tried to but hed always come up to me n do the grabby hands for me to pick him up or hed come over and climb up onto my lap n start showin me whatever he was doin on his dads phone. he rarely talked tho.

the random little boy i saw at walmart who was wearing a really cute little charlie brown sweater

the dinosaur boy on TT or whatever (he got glasses n is obsessed with dinosaurs)

the little girl on TT whos obsessed with creepy things n thinks theyre cute

think thats about it

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iknaenmal · 1 year

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Got tagged by @nintendont2502 :]

Hot or cold shower - hot because if I step into something just a little bit colder than the place I was before I will automatically freeze 😔

Texting or calling - TEXTING OF COURSE I'm so awkward when I have to talk to someone oughg

Earbuds or headphones - headphones yeaaahhh!!!! I dont like earbuds because they hurt my poor little ears most of the time :| I got some which didn't, so I use them because I can't bring my headphones around sadly

Paperback or hardcover - i loooove hardcover books SO MUCH they're so cool and also they don't fold and break!!! I hate it when a book's paperback folds

Matte or gel - I literally have no idea what these mean

Twelve hour of twenty four hour clock - Twelve hour! It's more intuitive I think and I don't have to do maths everytime I look at it :] Oh yeah but only if the clock tells you if it's pm or am because otherwise it gets confusing

Sci fi or horror - sci fi because I never watched a horror movie iirc (my sister won't let me because she has nightmares) and also because my dad loves them and I watched so many Sci fi movies with him they grew on me

Blue or green - OUHG. okay I love green, especially light green. I mean there's nothing wrong with dark green I just generally prefer light tones for some reason. But blue has got SO MANY great and awesome shades oughgh I love blue too so I'm going to choose that one

Sunsets or sunrises - I think ive watched so many sunrises theyre not so cool anymore. I mean they're still really cool!! When going to school I see it sometimes and I always go "OOOOHH" but idk. Also sunstets' colors are prettier I think :0

Tulips or orchids - OOH I LOVE ORCHIDS ! ! they have really fun shapes and colors and they're very pretty I think!!! Tulips are great too but they dont have shapes as fun as the orchids imo

Candlelight or moonlight - Candlelights because theyre very warm and very pretty and they have kind of orange light and im the number one fan of orange, warm lights :DD

Pen or pencil - PENCIL I hate writing + drawing with pen >:| I can't erase stuff and it's hard and it also makes my handwriting even worse when I use a pen !!! Sadly we have to use pens at school and if we use pencils in exams that's an automatic fail so I need to get used to them asap

Pandas or koalas - I know they're overrated but 😔 I love pandas they're like bears in pajamas ouuhghg I love koalas though!!! Theyre very cute :]]

Gold or silver: silver is very very pretty yeahh!!! Even the name is pretty wow...... I love using silver crayons and stuff it gets shiny but not TOO shiny and that is important I think

Sneakers or boots - boots are really cool and warm but I never use anything that are not sneakers ! I just have a single pair of them every time so I just use them until they're torn apart ahahaah..

Denim or leather jacket - neither 😐

Pink or purple - OKAY I love pink its a very great color I think and it's also REALLY fun to work with but ooooh purple my beloved <3 it might actually be one of my fave colors

Chocolate or sour candy - OH im a chocolate lover

Drive in cinema or theatre - I've never been to a drive in cinema and it honestly seems so cool but! I love threatres theyre great and I love watching things in a huge screen yeahh :D

Deodorant or perfume - I HATE PERFUMES OUGH OUGH OUGH perfumes go away leave me alone

Pastel blue or earth tones - godd this ones hard ! As I said before I looove blue !!!! But earth tones are SO great and cool I love them a lot oooh

Lemonade or fruit juice - HELL YEAH FRUIT JUICE LOVERS RISE !!! I love fruit juice........ except orange juice. But I might be choosing this option partly because the last time I had lemonade was when i was like. Five or something so i don't remember how it tastes :p

Past or future - I'm not too sure what it means, I might just mean where you'd prefer to time travel but either way I'd choose future so yeah ! Like, I wouldn't go back to the past and live there, because it would end up being repetitive and the future would be more unexpected! Maybe what happens in the future is worse than what happened in the past, but you can't know that because you don't know what will happen, whereas in the past you know. And about time travel, I wouldn't go back to the past because im 100% sure I'd end up fucking the timeline up 😔

Aaaaand idk how many people I have to tag but here are some :]

@kindledrose @lemonylimetime @potatoisanartist @eowynnsstuffnthings @selenesaysstuff !! (You can just not do it if you don't want to ofc :]])

#uuh how do it tag this hmmm #tagging game #???? something like that idk #ikna talks

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sinful-huntress · 2 years

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Kinktober Day 23

Zapp & Sensation Play

There wasn't anything really entertaining on TV, and Zapp had watched every movie in the apartment at least three times over. So this was shaping up to be a very boring evening, since he had promised to wait for you to come back before going out.

Zapp jumped from a light slumber when you dropped the box on the ground. His head whipping around to see what fell.

"What the f&^k is this?" His feet didn't even hit the floor before you opened the box, "The f^&k is all this sh^t?"

"A box full of past regrets." You sighed, "Remember how I told you about the stuff I stashed at a friend's place?"

Zapp nodded; not taking his eyes off the contents of the box, taking in how many colorful things and different pieces of... clothing?

"Well, this is that box. Er, one of three, I got two more in the car but the boxes are kinda big. Tricky to balance and sh^t."

"Yeah, yeah." Zapp had pulled the box closer absently, "I gotcha."

"You're not gonna help with them, are you?"

His head popped up, met with a slightly annoyed look from you, "Uh, yeah... no. I'll help. Just, why is this a box of regret?"

"Don't you have a box of regret?" You stopped in the door way, "A bunch of stuff that had meaning from past relationships?"

"Naw, I don't keep up with sentimental cr%p." He shrugged, "But all that looked like normal clothes? So why not just get rid of it if you're just gonna stash it to forget?"

"Uh... this is stuff I use in the bedroom, hence why I have such strong feelings towards it." You grabbed the last of the boxes, "And why I said regret."

One eyebrow raised into the silver bangs, "Well then, why don't we just take care of that?"

"You don't even know what all is in these boxes..."

"Eh, that's a risk I'm willing to take." Zapp shrugged and started digging in the boxes by himself, "But I get to pick all the things we use tonight."

You sighed, not really having a choice in the matter. Zapp was always stubborn about all things that happened in the bedroom. But he had a small pile of the weirdest assortment of clothes, mostly gloves and scarves.

Though to your surprise, the gloves could fit on Zapp. With him wearing the pure leather and wanting you to wear the silky ones. Other than that, Zapp was the same as ever.

His hands sliding all over you, even with the leather gloves. It just, felt a little rougher. Yet with your hands slipping much faster against him, Zapp was moaning at an embarrassing rate. Wanting to take you so much faster than he ever had before... and that was saying something.

But you were having a bit too much fun with this, knowing you had Zapp in a position he wasn't too familiar with. Getting you in the mood quickly just to torment you, hundred percent his favorite thing. Having you beg him to take you all night long was such a power trip for him. But being on the receiving end of that treatment was so frustrating for the poor silver haired man.

You slipped one hand below the belt line, softly whispering in his ear.

"You wanted this, didn't you?" Zapp shuddered, not sure how he was going to deal with this, "To feel something a little different against your skin?"

"F&&&&^k yeah sexy." Zapp groaned, "Just hurry up and let me have you already..."

"Shhhhhh, you wanted this, remember?"

The strained moan that followed as you stroked the length of his dick was all too telling. For all his complaining, Zapp did enjoy how this felt. But you pulled a velvet scarf over, carefully rubbing it against Zapp's chest. Keeping the piece in place with your own chest, slowly grinding your body; both to tease Zapp with the feeling of your chest clad in velvet and to draw out several low grunts and moans.

"F%%%%%^k!" Zapp was getting impatient again, "[Name]! You gotta lemme take you now!!"

Before you could answer, or tease him any more, Zapp had you pinned down to the bed. This night might just be getting started, but Zapp was done with the fore playing.

#bbb #kekkai sensen #kkss #blood blockade battlefront #zapp renfro #sinful heathens #kinktober 2022

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dragonsandvideogames · 3 months

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hello! i am starting this blog mainly for art- i predict about 90% of it will be reblogged art, usually of animals or video game stuff. i'll also be sharing my own art and talking about video game stuff occasionally, mainly my genshin impact challenge runs. yes runs plural. i have 3 currently, alongside my main account. more about them under the cut further below.

my current art style is just space with planets. mildly cartoony i think? def not realistic, but i think it's pretty (im a sucker for space, though i'd be terrified to actually go up in a space ship or anything- im content to admire from afar lol).

planning to share art on a MWF schedule- i can make the space art p quick and easily, so i need some sort of limiter so i don't burn myself out, while also practicing sticking to a schedule and also just doing art more frequently- im extremely rusty atm. hoping getting into the habit of drawing more often will shake off the rust and bolster my confidence.

i also like to use free stock photos as a sort of cut-out guide to make animal shapes out of space. it's fun and pretty painless- im used to spending hours getting angry at myself for not being able to free-hand anatomy, to the extent i stopped drawing for i think about two years now? cause i just hated everything i tried to make. rn i just wanna get used to drawing again without getting so angry with myself, and then slowly work on free-handing again.

oh, and! if you're doing a genshin challenge run, feel free to ramble to me about it! i love genshin challenge runs- i've got several im keeping tabs of on yt, and several more i wanna catch up on. aand question- what's your pulling plans for this upcoming patch?

on my main, im at i think 53 pity on 50/50, gonna try to pull xianyun. my most hoped for result- lose 50/50 to tighnari (or jean, ill take jean too), then spend a few 10 pull to get xianyun while getting faruzan and noelle to c6. overly hopeful maybe! i'd also be happy to win 50/50 too, of course. not getting the 4 stars c6 would sting a little, but it's more primos for future banners (already have nahida so once i get xianyun im done pulling).

challenge run #1 is a standard banner only account. it's the furthest along by a long shot, having been started several months ago, but bc it's a more casual account, im thinking it'll get overtaken fast. currently post act 1 of inazuma, with level 60 characters, almost ready to upgrade them to 70.

originally planned to not pull at all til i got all the free characters up to 90 and fully built, and then had a realization that was kinda incompatible with how i was playing- there just keep being more and more free characters, and it's a slow paced account that im mostly using to replay story stuff when i feel like. so now i just do pulls whenever.

i feel like the game mildly punished me for that decision, bc out of 200+ pulls, i got. 3 5 star weapons and a diluc (who im not really interested in playing atm, though i DID get wolf's gravestone. so im on the fence). and then a little while ago, i got qiqi. i had been really, really hoping for tighnari, or at least. pretty much anyone else? keqing, jean, and dehya i'd have been fine with. don't really want mona, so i'll probably end up getting her next. or another weapon :P

next is dark hair only, where yeah. i only play characters with dark hair. i just started less than a week ago now, so very young account. i judge who has dark hair using medibang's color picker on the character' hair in their icon (ignoring shadows and highlights), since it's neutral lighting. any character who stays generally at or under 100 value counts as dark haired.

some characters were hard to judge bc gradients- shout-out to mona for being a weird edgecase- the purples in her hair are definitely too light, and most of her roots are in shadow or covered, so it's hard to get a good read. i'm thinking she will count though- if for no other reason than, there's literally only 13 other characters that count currently.

all who are currently allowed in dark hair only- amber (this one caught me off-guard ngl), beidou, dehya, kaeya, mona, tighnari, venti, wanderer, wriothesley, xiao, xinyan, yelan, yun jin, and zhongli. surprisingly, raiden shogun, xiangling, and kujou sara don't actually make the cut-off- they're all generally just a little bit above 100.

xianyun and gaming's icons aren't officially released yet, so while i expect they'll make the cut-off, im still not gonna count them quite yet.

last account, which i finally got going yesterday, is signature weapons only. simple enough for most of the limited 5 stars- and with xiao coming up, this is the best time to start, since PJWS is also a standard banner weapon. ganyu's also a must-pull for this account for similar reasons.

as far as four stars and five stars without signature weapons, my first thought was "whichever weapon they used in their character miscellany". and then i actually checked, and dear mercy, there is. 0 synergy with the weapons they chose for so many of them. i still haven't gotten over EM layla. it would be a severe power discrepency- 5 stars get a weapon that bolsters their abilities, while 4 stars often get a stat stick at best.

so im kinda at square one with them now. my next thought is just, scrub through the character miscellany, record all the weapons a given character uses, and then those are the weapons available to that character. repeat for the next character. which could give them much more flexibility. that's gonna take hours though, so ive been putting it off lol.

could also just keep it simple and say, if a character has a signature they HAVE to use it, if not, then whatever. or put a rule that i have to pick 1 weapon per 4 star, and they can't be shared (ie yun jin and yaoyao can't both have fav spear), with shuffling allowed when new weapons come. dunno, ill think on it some more while exploring new region on my main ;P

oh, and general rule for all accounts- trial characters and traveler are allowed for solving puzzles, if necessary, just not for combat. will try to avoid when possible of course.

#intro post #my posts #standard banner only #dark hair only #signature weapon only #genshin impact #feels wrong to just tag genshin and not any art stuff but like #there's no art here it's mostly just me rambling about genshin lol #ill post some art later while game is updating #for now i think i'll just go reblog a bunch ive had sitting in my likes bc ive been too shy to post til now

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erinhime83 · 1 year

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So...this post came up on my TimeHop yesterday, and I thought it was amusing that I put those up on my Tumblrversary, and somehow got to thinking, you know what would be funny? If I redid those a la the WfS ones I just did! I like seeing my improvement, and I have fun doing marker pieces. Hell, added bonus in that the originals were done before I even had the markers!

So I did Bri, and was like, why not try to redesign her outfit instead of drawing current Bri in her original outfit? I mean, its been a couple of years, and I tend to want to do redesigns just for the hell of it, and I’ve been into stripes lately. And I still don’t have a handle on the Demetrian style yet. So whatever, I’ll do it and see what happens.

Well, what happens is I love it! But that just caused me to want to redo Shaylee as well. So I do! And end up with this. And then I realized I was going to have to do them all. (Plus an added Ian because I felt bad about doing all the other main characters.)

The problem with Bri is that she’s a servant for most of the book, so I guess this is what she wears whenever she’s not working? I don’t know - I love it, and I think the stripes work well with it! Naturally, she usually wears pants with it, but why put pants on her when I can draw her leg, lol.

I wasn’t too sure what I wanted to do with Shalyee, and I ended up with this simple yet gorgeous thing. It works so well with her! You can tell she’s higher class because of the cold shoulder sleeves, lol. I know pink and red heads don’t typically work well together, but its been her ‘color’ since forever, so...yeah. She looks cute, though!

Obviously, I couldn’t change much about Damien. I didn’t need to. BUT one thing that always annoyed me was the fact that the Dragon Riders wore jackets while it was clear it was warm in Caserus, so I decided that their jackets are only three quarter sleeved. And it works! Bonus is you actually see the scars Sid gave him while Bonding with him. ;P

Danika doesn’t change much, either. I just gave her a simple shirt rather than the bolero, and it works well with her. The colors I chose are...meh, but you get the idea. Girl is a ten year old tomboy. She doesn’t need anything fancy.

Ian...well, I didn’t change anything about him, either, other than giving him white shoes just because. Its another good way to show he’s not from Demeter. I’m also not sure if he’d have the COSMOS logo on his shirt of not. Meh. He’s adorable, as always.

This were fun to do. I may or may not have gotten my muse on the story, and entertaining the idea of skipping Camp and WfS so that I can go and finish Genetic Origins after a three year hiatus, but who knows. ;P

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chicagolive · 1 year

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Holiday pal here! One Last Stop seems interesting! I’m not usually one for romance books buuut it has some sci-fi mixed in there that’s drawing me in for sure! I really like the idea of it and want to know how the whole thing is handled so I’m excited to check it out!

I’ve read a few books this year, mostly sci-fi, horror/thriller and fantasy like books since those tend to be my favorite genres! I also like deep/real stories? I’m not sure how else to explain it. I’m reading Fellowship of The Ring right now and I’m loving it so I’ll recommend that! A book I’m quite excited to read is Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir.

Music that I enjoyed a lot this year was from some smaller artists you could say? Definitely not mainstream, at least I don’t think so. Weyes Blood’s album Titanic Rising was so lovely. I just adore her voice. Djo’s album Decide was so fun and he makes my favorite kind of sound as well as loving the persona he sorta creates for his music. Lastly I’ll recommend Left At London, her last ep was amazing to me and different! The opening song has a fake like stand up bit intertwined in it and I’m just obsessed with a lot of her music. Do you have any recommendations or artists you love that you think deserve more attention?

I forgot to mention yesterday, I love your theme! Fits so well with the season. Now, I saw you collect vinyl and so do I! It’s one of my favorite things to do when I’ve got the cash to do so. I tend to collect color vinyls more than plain black because they just mesmerize me. Plus I just love physical media, there’s something so special about it.

If you can pick, do you have a prized vinyl in your collection? What artist do you have the most vinyl for if you know! A few more little questions: what’s your fav color and why? Do you have any comfort movies? And a fun fact about you if you’re comfy with sharing of course! I’ll share a fun fact about me: my favorite kind of dogs are pitbulls!

I’m sorry if this is too long, just let me know and I’ll cut back! I just get excited and can talk a lot. And sorry to send this a bit late! I hope it isn’t too late! I’m not sure what timezone you’re in so here’s to hoping this reaches you on December 2nd! I hope you’ve had a great day/night! ❤️

-🎉❄️

Hiii, hun!! ✨ thank you!! I had the same theme since about 2020, so I thought I’d change it up for the season!!

Exactly!! The book has this mystery element to it, in the sense that both characters try to find out how to save the one who is stuck on the train and while doing so, they grow closer together!! They go through so much together that you can only root for them!! It’s a whole roller coaster of emotions, at least for me lol.

I guess it’s time to add more books to the to-be-read!! I’ve seen Project Hail Mary floating around, especially on booktok. But lately, a lot of booktok recommendations are not really doing it for me. I tried reading Red, White and Royal Blue but just couldn’t get into it. I made it halfway through before I stopped 😬. But I’d definitely would have to give your recs. a look!!

I’ll have to give those people a listen, even though I’m terribly bad at listening to new music.. but I’ll give them the chance, just for you!! In terms of who I would want to give more attention to, I went to a music festival back in September and that’s where I found a lot of smaller artists that I actually really liked!! Alexander 23 is one of them!! My college roommate is a big fan, so we went so see a little bit of their set!! They sound terrific live!! I’d also say Indigo de Souza!! I was listening to a bit of their music the day before the actual festival, and fell in love!! Their lead singer has a voice I can only describe as rogue, if that made any sense lol. I highly recommend their stuff!! I know rina sawayama is a pretty big artist, but I’d say them as well!!

Oooooo another person who loves vinyl!! I only just started collecting around the end of 2020!! Guess it was one of these hobbies that I wanted to pick up due to staying indoors cause of COVID. My prized record(s) would probably be a tie between folie à deux by fall out boy (mostly because it took forever to find in any pressing!!) and the human condition by Jon Bellion (it’s a clear pressing and it brings back a lot of good memories from college); right behind all of these would be my one direction vinyl collection!! I’m trying to collect all their band/solo artist records and so far I have all but one (Mind of Mine by ZAYN). I have a lot of doubles for certain artist, but I don’t have more than three of the same record (though that would be cool!!). I could ask the same to you!! Fav. record(s) you have??? Doubles?? Triples??

Speed round questions!! Fav. color? Tie between purple and yellow, but pink is starting to grow on me lately!! Comfort movie? Since it’s the season, Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Me and my brother can recite that movie by memory!! Fun fact? I really like art!! Especially sculptures/installations!! I’m trying to get back into creating art again, but it’s been pretty difficult lately. Trying to see if I can break out of this artist block that’s had a hold on me for awhile 😬.

Honestly, this answers pretty long, but I thoroughly enjoyed it!! Sometimes, I feel like I ramble on and on about nothing and think it makes sense in the end!! 😅 keep the long asks coming!! I honestly don’t mind the time your asks get here!! I’m in North America on the east side so I tend to receive them in the evening, thus far, which is perfect!! Lol. Hope you have a wonderful start/end of your day!! 🎄✨

#holiday pals 🎄✨#asks

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amygdala-suzanna · 1 year

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Cecil Lore :>

Basic bio stuff:

Most of Cecil’s demon powers are types of transformation magic. They can...

Summon a demon arm from their left shoulder at will whenever they need their left arm for something.

Sprout bat-like wings from their back for flight.

Change the color of their horns. (Though that one is involuntary. They just change from skin color in a neutral state to red when Cecil is doing demon magic stuff, and to black whenever Cecil gets really emotional.)

Do something kinda like that Devil Trigger thing from Devil May Cry if they ever need to fuck someone up.

Make other self-indulgent body modifications, like a longer tongue and some gender-related things.

Real life lore:

Cecil’s story in my head is in this modern fantasy type setting, a lot like Coffee Talk if you know that game. I originally made them up for an art project in college where we had to make up a character and then make a diorama painting of their home, and I had way too much fun with my character, probably considerably more than any of my classmates.

I showed my doodles to my friend Lil and the first thing she asked was if Cecil was single, so then I had to draw Cecil holding her, as well as with a number of my other friends. This eventually led to us deciding that Cecil would need a demon girl harem so I got a bunch of my friends to give me their characters and that’s how the imagine in my banner happened.

Since Lil and I are working on a game together already, this idea spiraled further into “what if we made a dating / management sim game where you play as Cecil and you have to recruit demon girls to your lesbian polycule and take care of each other at home while you all have your own jobs so you can all save up to move to a nice home together?” Very modern and topical, I know.

I got the idea that since all the characters are demons and it’s a modern setting, they could have a contracting website called “demonsforyou.com” that all the demons could make profiles on that list their skills and all the steps of a ritual you need to do in order to summon them. So as an tie-in, at some point I’d like to make a promotional website with the same name that lists bios for all the characters that would appear in the game.

In universe lore:

Cecil became a demon by doing some weird ritual when they were like 24 that involved killing another infernal creature, and they lost their left arm in that process. They decided to do this because their life was going totally downhill after their grandpa (who was secretly also a demon) passed the year prior.

Turns out becoming a demon is actually pretty okay, and it helps Cecil a lot since they get a surprisingly warm welcome to their city’s demon community and help with where to go to start out getting demon contract work. (The aforementioned website) And, of course, with this newfound confidence and a sexy new look, this is when Cecil decides to be more assertive with girls.

It takes Cecil a while to get accustomed to the upkeep of being a demon. Giving up regular food in favor of cannibalism isn’t pretty, but it becomes surprisingly fun for them to stalk and hunt intelligent prey. But of course this practice is “unethical” for whatever reason and they’re tracked down by Hana, someone who hunts violent demons and Cecil’s new enemy-to-lovers crush. They make up and start dating after a while. Turns out “human” women are a good monthly source of blood, and other meats can make up for the rest of the cravings.

At some point Cecil leaves their summoning circle in their home open and a hellhound wanders in that Cecil and Hana adopt. He’s cute but very weird and a little creepy. Girls love meeting him though, so it works out.

That’s all I got for now, idk how to end this :p

#Cecil Alarie

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familyagrestefanblog · 3 years

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Image-analysis: Adriens childhood dream drawing

Finally, at long last I managed to get something done again

Adriens childhood dream drawing in "Wishmaker" has caused quite the reaction from both the Fandom as well as the ml crew and I've stated my personal opinion on this matter too.

I don't think the Fandom overreacted at all, at the very least initially where reactions where purely caused by first impressions instinct and lack of time to possess what we just saw, but even afterwards it's more the case of fans analysing a suspicious image and try to work with it. Because that's how this stuff normally WORKS (Other shows WISHED they had a Fandom as dedicated as Miraculous'...)

The Agreste drawing is the only one where the characters in it are decipted with major character design changes whereas all the other drawings show the character in the way we know them so the viewer can quickly identify who we are looking at (which is important because the drawings aren't that long on screen). The Agreste drawing NOT following this pattern for no apparent reason led to Fans immediately interpreting it as a hint to be taken literal (because that's how the other drawings work), which from then on things indeed quickly led to buckle wild fan theories, throwing everything we knew about the Agreste around in every angle imaginable. It was a wild mess, but that doesn't make it an overreaction from the fans side. People hadn't reacted like this if whoever designed and greenlighted this had properly checked if the images visual Story telling actually comes across the way it was supposed to. Because it DOESN'T.

That's how I see the case: visual Story telling gone extremely wrong because the way the image was included in the episode led up to wrong conclusions about its artistic choices. Immensely unfortunate and misleading, but in the end that doesn't mean the drawing held no meaning in the first place. After all, the Agreste drawing is by far the most detailed and structured one of them all, there IS meaning behind it. It just got lost and overshadowed.

And this is what I wanna do now. Take a closer look at Adriens childhood dream drawing and find the actual hidden intention behind its artistic choices.

For this I will also talk about the other childhood dream illustrations as well and the episode "Wishmaker" in general. Also, as always, I talk in depth about the Agreste family members again. This time our cat son in particular. Keep in mind though that I'm primarily writing down interpretations the drawing simply opened up as a possibility, I'm not only explicitly writing down what I to 100% BELIEVE is 100% canon. Art is subjective and SO much fun to theorize with, so please don't go "it's not that deep Bro" on me in the comments, I don't care for your killjoy salt.

So without further ado, in this analysis essay I'll talk about the following topics:

1) Dream pov

1.2) Development stages

2) Visual Story telling

2.1) Symbols

2.2) Color schemes of the Agreste family members

2.3) Switched eye colors and "perfection"

1.) Dream pov

Adriens drawing is unique because of its particular usage of Pov. The other drawing either depict a 4th wall pov, like Marinettes for example:

It's clear that we aren't looking through anyones eyes, it's just little Marinette at some point in her childhood drawing an image of herself as the Knitting fairy. All by herself. The lack of somebodys elses pov (her parents for example) has the affect that the entire characterization is purely on Marinette. It's HER dream and she wanted it for HERSELF. Nobody else is involved and therefore it also doesn't convey a bigger picture than that (which btw is completely fine. Simplistic is allowed and not everything has to be part of a larger backstory picture. Although not gonna lie, Marinettes Knitting Fairy design was so detailed and well designed I wouldn't be surprised if it came up again at some point for a bigger purpose but that's a topic for another post)

In comparison to this we have Alec, for who at first we get a 4th wall pov like Marinettes, but then it changes to the pov of the people who mocked him.

Showing us how initially Alec loved his hair and wore them the way he wanted to because it made him happy, without any regard of what the people around him thought. But once people made him feel bad about it our pov shifts to the eyes of the mockers, because that's where Alec's focus laid from then on. The people through whose eyes we are looking do not matter individually, hence why we get no faces, leaving all the charactertization for us to only projet onto Alec. This conveys the bigger picture of "Alec once based his decision for his appearance purely on his own opinion, but then people made him feel self conscious causing him to prioritize what other people think he should look/be like over his own opinion" (which deadass explains EVERYTHING about his entire character. Personality, job, behavior etc this episode did AMAZING in this regard!)

Most of the episodes childhood dreams are like Marinettes, because that's how children dream. They don't think about how other people will persive their dream and just go for it because it makes them happy.

This is healthy for a child. A child around the age the dreams show shouldn't care yet for what the world thinks about them, their dreams and what makes them happy. This awareness if other peoples perspectives and the task to find balance between the two is a burden that comes while growing up. But first the own identity has to develop freely to grow up into a self-confident and healthy person. Alec is the only 4th wall pov child who had this development interrupted by the people who mocked him, which is fitting for the role as the akuma victim, because through being confronted with André, who found his true calling later in life, he was able to overcome his childhood trauma and become the person his child-self was so confident to be.

So. Why am I talking to extensively about everybody else's dream povs (besides me just really having fun doing so)? Because, as I said, Adriens childhood dream really is the unique exception here for 2 reasons:

1) Adrien is not in the same age range as the childhood dreams selves of the others.

And 2) Unlike everyone else Adrien didn't even "start out" with the 4th wall pov and then had reality crush him to shift his perspective to the ones from the people around him like Alec.

Adriens childhood dream illustration is the only image that is shown from the persons point of view, in every other one the person having the dream is in focus because that's what the dreams where about. The person themselve. But in Adriens case his "dream" was to be what his parents wanted him to be, so here Adriens PARENTS are the ones in focus. It is THEIR expectations and validation he tries to reach all his life and the image conveys the sad reality that from Adriens point of view he never was able to actually GET there.

He's reaching out, trying to reach his parents who he wants to make proud and want to be with but they aren't reaching back for him making HIM do the work of closing the distance.

Marinette, Alec and every other child is shown at what? Around 5? A normal age for the wild dreams we see people getting turned into, that are still untouched by the responsibilites and reality of real life (besides Alec, dude learned it young).

Adrien on the other hand is shown as a BABY. It is buckle wild that Wishmakers powers had to dig THIS deep into his memories to find a childhood dream of what Adrien wanted to be. I really have to say that the episode made appropriately a big deal out of Adrien being so desperate and clueless for his own dreams and I'm not going to give this the Sentimonster treatment. If Adrien turns out to be one that's one things but you'll never catch me saying that Wishmaker having to dig this deep and only finding the dream to please his parents is a proof that Adrien is a Sentimonster, because it simply means that the isolation and control Adrien is raised under affected him strongly right since toddlerhood and forced his inexperienced and impressionable mind to adjust to impossible standards/expectations and that this stressful situation has never actually stopped til now. Which is ACCURATE to what we have seen in the show.

Besides that, there is one detail I haven't seen anyone bring up yet that I think is a solid argument for why it isn't odd at all that Adriens childhood "dream" turned out to be what we saw.

When Adrien is hit by Wishmakers powers to reveal his childhood dream notice that Chat Noir is noticeably LESS rainbow-colored than everyone else.

So if everybody turned rainbow-colored while remembering their childhood dream to then TURN into said legit dream, then it says quite alot about Adriens "dream" that the same didn't happen for him. It's like Wishmakers powers legitimately didn't find a childhood dream at all within Adrien and because of that they latched onto the next best thing, which is the natural instinct of every toddler to adjust themselves to what their parents/care takers want them to be so they love them.

So in my opinion it isn't accurate nor fair to judge Adriens "dream" entirely the same way we view the others, because we are simply not talking about the same type of psychological manifestation. Sure, it still counts as a wish because every toddler has that desire to be loveable, hence why Wishmaker was able to latch onto it and reveal it. But in no way would I categorize it as a legit childhood dream like the others.

So I will rather call it Adriens instinctive dream as a toddler, because that's what the episode actually portrays in my opinion. I will still compare it to the other dreams but only in the sense of that this IS simply the defining childhood "dream" of Adrien and what all of this and the comparisons can tell us about Adrien himself.

Remember how I said that children around the age Marinette and the other people were shown forming their dreams and their view of themselves is completely normal and healthy? Yeah, so what does this tell you about Adrien?

1.2) Development stages

It's not even like Alec who got to have a normal child psyche til the age of 5, Adriens drawing outright tells us that Adrien NEVER even really entered this important stage of forming his own identity and personhood as a child. He NOW has to make up for it from teenager age on til... well, forever.

I know some of you may ask how that's even possible, a child just not entering a development stage they are supposed to already engulf in at the age of 5, but believe me it's definitely possible and DOES happen to many people out there. And yes, these people sometimes have some serious psychological damages to overcome when they grow older, the development stages of toddlerhood and childhood are THIS unspeakably important.

Since this is a family cartoon Adriens drawing is of course a visualisation of the obvious extreme, children like him (let's take the children of celebrities or from Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance moms for example) can of course still enter the development stage in different kind of degrees. Some are lucky and somehow get to somewhat independently develop themselves whereas others were unlucky like Adrien and had to prioritize developing other psychological abilities to survive their environment. More on that later.

Though I have to correct myself, Adriens pov is not entirely unique there is one more occasion where we see this particular pov:

Adriens drawing is like Andrés where he gives out the ice cream.

The pov of that drawing is through Andrés own eyes because it's supposed to convey that the act of GIVING the ice cream to people and how it affects THEM is what brings him joy. That's what HE loves about his dream job and therefore functions brilliantly as characterisation.

Adriens drawing is done in the same pov so the very same characterisation also applies to him, telling us WHY Adrien didn't get to enter that development stage and WHY it didn't came more naturally to him to prioritize himself anyway the way it happenes with other children in his situation:

Adrien was not only forced to never let go of his natural instict of adjusting himself the best he can to his parents wishes out of self-protection it also just simply makes/made him legitimately HAPPY to make THEM happy the same way we see now that Adrien tends to put his own comfort second place to let thers be happy, which in return makes him happy again. It's an incredibly sympathic trait Adrien developed very early on which normally starts to bloom in pre-teen age (maybe a bit younger) because of the self-centric stage Marinette and the other kids went through before that. But in Adriens case he basically switched out these two development stages which made him the way we see him now in the show. A fascinatingly strange mix of being emotionally over-developed for his age in some aspects and under-developed in other aspects peers his age normally don't struggle with anymore. Abuse can REALLY mess a person up guys.

Abuse victims mixing up development stages because their environment demanded other qualities first for their survival is not rare at all and these mix-ups come in all sorts of combinations.

The drawing even provides us with visual clues to understand in more detail why Adrien developed this sympathetic trait in particular. In general no part of Adriens childhood drawing stands entirely on its own, its clearly visible that unlike the other drawings Adriens is supposed to convey an entire detailed life situation (including his parents) so there is no easy way for me to find the "right order" to properly explain that big picture. So in my opinion, to start breaking down the visual Story telling of why Adrien became so overly sympathic and lacking in self-preservation is by starting with

2) Visual Story telling

2.1 Symbols

Each Agreste member has one Symbol assigned to them from Baby Adriens point of view and this is how I interpret them:

1) Adriens star

Adrien has the star symbol right in the middle and the symbol speaks quite for itself. It represents the enormous expectations layed on Adrien and that he always had to strive to uphold the standard of the Agrestes being a celebrity/upper class family and the only child of his parents marriage. We all have heard horrible stories of children being their parents "star" and being pushed too extreme limits out of parental love. Yeah, that is 100% Adriens position in his family.

Emilie and Gabriel sure as hell made sure that Adrien has access to only the best teaching, training and interests. I have no doubt that Adriens parents really thought they did him a favor here (as its very often the case in such situations), especially because we actually learn through the way Gabriel ALWAYS talks about Adrien to other people, that Adrien is successfully reaching his parents standards.

Just unfortunate that Gabriel hardly lets Adrien KNOW that (I'm pretty sure Gabriel thinks it should be so obvious he doesn't need to mention it, but that's not how parenting works Gabe :/), which results in Adrien having painfully deep self-esteem issues.

He doesn't think he's ever enough and that every little mistake he does is an unforgivable disappointment towards the person who had such high hopes in him.

The golden star is actually used in one more childhood drawing, also as symbol of the current state of self-esteem.

Back when Alec was a child full of confidence and pride he was standing on a big golden star. It's an implication that Alec wanted to be famous every since childhood and the star glasses he is wearing show that he was confidently looking into a future of stardom. He saw himself as a glorious upcoming superstar.

But when the people around him started mocking him his star glasses shatter to the floor and the golden star underneath him begins to fade until eventually its completely gone in the third drawing. Child Alec is left horribly self-conscious and with the broken remainings of his outlook into stardom. The glasses aren't gone showing that his dream of becoming famous in TV is still what he wants, but his view was permanently changed and even BROKEN so of course he ended up the way Alecs was from s1 til now. The dream stayed the same but his approach changed greatly.

How to connect all of that to Adriens drawing should be easy. Not only does it symbolize that Adriens has always been his parents "Star" and had to uphold all of those impossible expectations ever since he can remember, it also shows that confidence in himself, his talents and his place in the world is another enormous expectation his parents had for him. Which ironically put so much pressure and one hell of a lack of granted individuality on Adrien that OF COURSE it had the complete opposite effect! Just LOOK at that damn star dangling over Baby Adrien, that shit’s disgusting and I DIG IT.

Another noteworthy detail is that the star has the same color as baby Adriens nursery, which is symbolizing the golden cage Adrien has always been locked up in. The Star and the cage come hand in hand in the circumstances his parents put him in, this is literally so depressing. Adrien was a BABY and we get thing kind of imagery, damn...

And if you wanna take it one step further let's talk about Emilie for a second, because Mama Agrestes hair has the same color as Adriens star and his "cage".

One of the most obvious things on how the drawing manages to convey the family dynamic is that Chat Noir is placed underneath his mothers face between the golden cage on the one side and his own toddler-self on the other one.

Back when Adrien was a toddler the possibility was still THERE that Adrien gets to grow up forming a legitimate bond with BOTH of his parents, hence why Baby Adrien is placed right between his parents. He could still reach both of them at that point. But as we can now painfully clear see through Chat Noirs placement Gabriel was not at all present enough in his son's life which caused Adrien to be pulled entirely to his mothers side over time.

This doesn't sound so bad at first, even relieving to know that Adrien at least had his mother when he was already denied a father. But as many will agree with me I don't think things were this "easy".

I'm not saying in any way that Emilie deliberately hindered her husband and son from connecting with another so she can have both of them for herself, this is honestly not how I see Emilie at all. But what I think is that Emilie definitely unintentionally enabled Gabriels distant parenting and maybe even made things worse by always being there for Adrien and taking over for Gabriel whenever her husband struggled or became overwhelmed (which is 100% what Gabriel is characterized as when it comes to having to parent his son, that man has no idea what the fuck he's doing and he KNOWS it).

Ironically enough teenage Adrien in this drawing seems to be locked up in his MOTHERS grasp, no, Chat Noir seems to be locked up in his mothers grasp. NOT his fathers the way we know it.

Even Adriens golden nursery is also higher on Emilies side to have Chat Noir fully in the "cage" as well. If Chat Noir where placed on Gabriels side it would seem less cage- like.

This fits VERY well to the fan observation that even though Gabriel is incredibly controlling, Adrien was only able to actually get some freedom AFTER Emilie was out of the picture. So Emilie may have been a more affectionate and chiller person, but it was precisely that close connection between them that made it impossible for Adrien to escape home pre-show. Whereas Gabriels negligence ironically leaves Adrien with more opportunities to made a life of his own because even the most intense prison security can be escaped from when the prison guard simply doesn't pay as much attention as they SHOULD to keep the prisoner inside.

And you know what I just noticed? That's exactly what this very episode has shown to us what Adrien is truly escaping from now.

Adrien has made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to work for his father in the future, which is why he was so upset that he couldn't get a grasp on his own future outlooks. Gabriel may have been the prison guard on the last remaining wall of Adriens golden cage, but unlike Emilie Gabriel is not able to actually keep his son inside. Without Emilie and her engulfing presence as Adriens main reason to stay Adrien has now managed to break loose from the very childhood family image that has defined Adrien all his life. And he did so by moving on from his mothers former presence now for good, just like he left his fathers family expectations for him behind and accepted his fear as truth that Ladybug will one day just not need him with her anymore (not that its true of course).

There is one more thing I wanna talk about regarding how Emilie may have unintentionally come between Adrien and Gabriel and how she personally affected Adrien, but I will come back to this point once I'm talking about the color schemes of each Agreste member in the drawing in more detail.

Keep it in mind and now moving on to...

2. Gabriels symbol: the cloud

The cloud has the same color as the clothing of Emilie and baby Adrien, showing that Adrien was always under the subconscious self-pressure that if only he proofs himself to be good enough Gabriel will stop alienating himself. Sure he is wearing blue as well, but it's much darker than what his wife and son are wearing. Gabriel is not as present and connected with his role as a father as he should be. In addition to this, notice how the dream-cloud sky is opening up behind Gabriel. Adrien noticed VERY early on that his father won't be present at times, making him a worrisome uncertainty in Adriens young mind.

The light blue cloud symbolizes the pressure Adrien put on himself too be good enough for his father to make him stay. Closing the open cloud-sky Gabriel can just vanish through any moment and fully taking on the (light blue) role as father Adrien wants/needs him to be.

Interestingly enough we actually SEE Gabriel one time in the blue clothing more fitting to his family.

In the Agreste family portrait where we see them as the "formerly happy family" Gabriel wants to get back.

How fortunate for me and my sanity now that I already did a whole analysis post on this very portrait, meaning I can only focus on the details here that I actually need without sacrificing necessary context.

In the analysis post I concluded that Gabriel honestly thought they were a legitimately happy family back then because HE had everything he needed, felt loved, save and secure. He was blind to the discomforts of his other two family members, because he didn't wanted to see it and because they also tried to not make him unhappy and basically didn't twell on it for his sake.

Meaning in short: Gabriel was the ONLY one who was actually legitimately happy back then and the portrait showcases that Gabriel saw himself as a family father in light blue, the way he should be, but we all know that this doesn't represent the actual reality. In the analysis post I point out just how many details in the portrait hint at the dysfunctionality of the Agreste family and now we can add Gabriels blue suit as one hint more.

Alright, this brings us to Mama Agreste.

3. Emilies red crescent

Though not gonna lie, Emilies symbol kinda leaves me guessing. It's red color fits to the clouds behind it making it the symbol that seems to fit the best into the "environment". As if it's the "normal" and "subtle" one. But besides that the red of her symbol isn't used to make a visual connection between the moon and other things in the drawing the way the symbols of her son and husband work.

The closest things to resemble her red color are Baby Adriens hands, her lips and glow under her eyes.

A logical meaning of the crescent is of course Emilies magical coma/death, Emilie in her state of being "put to sleep" is literally all we have ever met her in. So a "forshadowing" of her future fate was my first assumption, but I don't see how this would in any way fit into Adriens pov the way his own and Gabriels symbols work. I just can't quite grasp a logical narrative behind the meaning so I'll leave it like this and move on (do leave your interpretations of Emilies symbol in the comments/replies though, maybe you guys see a connection I overlooked!)

2.2) Color schemes of the Agreste family members

Okay, now this is probably just a "me" thing but I cannot ignore it once that thought popped up in my head: because of Gabriel being colored completely different from his normal civilian form

and Emilie not having her green eyes, here open kinda messy hair instead of the neat braid we are used from her character model and also a different outfit as well. These two simply do not look enough like Adrien Agrestes parents, but oh MY, they sure do look like Chat Noirs parents!

If we didn't know Chat Noirs secret identitiy or anything about his civilian life and THIS was the first image we had gotten of his parents I would 100% believe it. Hence why Emilie and Gabriel being depicted like this may feel off putting, but at the same time it doesn't feel wrong either when you only look at the drawing. Because Chat Noir is right THERE and he looks like the child of these two people. It only feels off putting once you remember that Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste and how his parents actually look like, since we know these people, but this frame on its own?

Actually nothing weird about it. It's just Chat Noir and his parents.

Emilie shears her color pallet with Adriens baby form (at least the glimpses we get here). Same light blue clothing, which is also her eye color and the color of Adriens jeans in his today's civilian outfit, and her skin color is also in the same, warmer tone as Adriens (please just take my word for it I forgot to include it here). Additionally to this we have current day-Chat Noir right underneath her head to give us the visual connection of both their blond, messier hair to show us "yup, that's his mother".

With the depiction of the future self of her son she now only shears the same hair since Gabriel now has Adriens/Chats green eyes. It almost feels like the baby boy she once had grew out of their connection, but remember that thats not quite accurate either. Hes still wearing the light blue of his mother in his civilian clothing and “Adrien” is just as legit of a part of him as “Chat Noir”.

In comparison to Emilie it's actually striking just how much Gabriel doesn't look like ADRIENS father at all here but is 100% the father of Chat Noir.

Gabriels dark blue suit is much closer to Chats black one than Emilies and Baby Adriens light blue, and his white shirt reminds of Chats bell. Additional to that we have Gabriels black glasses that remind of Chats black mask, his hair has the same curve as Chats cat ears (yo, a visual resemblence is a visual resemblence. Subconsciously your mind notices shit like this and makes the connection) and of course, last but not least, now it's Gabriel who Adrien/Chat shears his green eyes with not Emilie anymore.

From a visual standpoint it's pretty clear that "Adrien" reflects Emilie whereas "Chat Noir" reflects Gabriel. But it's especially the eyes which make a huge impact on how the viewer reads the family connections, so now having EMILIE as the only family member in the drawing with a different eye color (Normally that's always Gabriel) immediately alienates her from her husband and son but I'll get to this in a bit.

Remember when I said that I wanted to talk about another thing on how Emilie may have unintentionally come between Adrien and Gabriel and directly affected Adrien through it? Yeah let's come back to that for a sec before I continue with the topic of EMILIE being the one visually alienated by her husband and future son.

Please remember for this that these analyse posts are primarily thought exercises of what the visual plus already given context can open up as possibilities as interpretation. I don't know how much I BELIEVE the following topic to be true in Canon but it's definitely an interesting angle to put into consideration.

And now we just talked about that "Adrien Agreste" visually reflects Emilie herself while "Chat Noir" reflects Gabriel out of all people. Are we on the same page again? Wonderful. Because now I wanna quickly talk about how I mentioned that I concluded in my analysis post of the family Agreste portrait that only GABRIEL was actually happy back then and that THIS also means Emilie wasn't exactly picture-book happy with her husband and that the portrait actually quite suspiciously HIDES how she truly feels about Gabriel.

I'll just say it because this post has already become another essay monster without me beating about the bush. In my opinion the drawing allows the interpretation that maybe Emilie (possibly even unknown to herself) came between Adrien and Gabriel and tended so much to Adrien because Gabriel wasn't actually too great of a husband either and because of that she, over time, wanted Adrien to become the way she WISHED Gabriel was.

I think I've talked about how Adrien/Chat Noir shears quite alot of mannerisms, body language and way of speaking with his father Gabriel/Hawkmoth. It's one thing I always legitimately LIKED because alot of abuse victims struggle hard with noticing similarities to their abusers in themselves and yet that doesn't mean we are JUST like our abusers. But now let's put a little spin on that.

We know by now that Emilie was isolated and lonely as well, just like her son, and I don't mean this in any condemning way at all, but what if she unintentionally saw and treated Adrien as some sort of replacement-Gabriel the way Gabriel sees Adrien as a reminder of Emilie?

Take another look, how it is CHAT NOIR (who reflects GABRIEL) who is now shown to be locked up in his mothers grasp. That initially Adrien as a toddler started out between his parents, but more like his mother simply by nature, but as time went on Emilie became unhappier with Gabriel (which is a solid possibility, the man now turned out to be a sadistic terrorist. That shit doesn't come from nowhere) and ended up projecting her feelings onto Adrien. Making her pull her son from his place in between his parents as their CHILD only to HER side, now functioning as the actual link between her and her husband to make their mariage work.

Can you imagine that? Because somehow I kinda can. Emilie as a copying mechanisms making Adrien into the version of Gabriel she wished her husband was. Which is only made worse by Gabriel seeing so much of Emilie and Adrien

So in kinda the same way that Emilie tried to raise Adrien to NOT get the same shortcomings as Gabriel, GABRIEL tries to polish out the imperfections of his wife he also sees in his son. My GOODNESS no wonder Adriens responisbilities and expectations sky-rocket to such an awful extend.

There are quite alot of solid indications in the show that Emilie and Gabriel didn't lead the “perfect, happy marriage” we are kinda told they had. But now I legitimately kinda fear that instead of really TALKING with each other and working out their problems to help their marriage (which is normal. Stuff happens that gives even the happiest relationships/marriage rocky times but people you need to TALK IT OUT) Gabriel and Emilie rather pretend everything is fine (the way Adrien tends to do it) while completely taking their unhappiness with each other out on Adrien by "meaning well".

Unintentionally or on purpose doesn't matter right now, what IS important is that I find it scarily probable that Adrien might have been put in the awful and incredibly damaging position of being the only child of a dysfunctional marriage who is burdened with literally holding the entire family together on their own expense, having to make up for everyones faults and behavior by having to be perfect and "reasonable" all the time or else all hell breaks loose. For which THEY will be blamed for because "everything was manageable until THEY acted out". Adrien is even now literally the only sanity left in the entire Agreste family (probably a solid reason why he's left in the dark) and non of this seems to be anything new to these dynamics. But of course though we have reached a point now where everyone is straining their anchor so much that not only are they letting go of him, he's also reaching his limits.

Holy DAMN am I concerned for Adrien right now because the Ladynoir situation also relies entirely on Chat Noir just putting up with everything Ladybug throws at him. He doesn't get to break because she basically already has that privilege now and if he does HE has to get over it and be reasonable.

Adrien as the anchor is straight up being pulled apart to his limits and then left as an afterthought in BOTH situations of his life right now, he's going to fucking explode in the s4 finale and it will be UGLY.

I apologize for digressing so much again, the last section wasn't planned I simply was in a flow. Anyway, from one depressing option of why Gabriel looks like Chat Noir in the drawing to the next. Are you ready? I promise you're not.

So, before I digressed like hell we left off with the question of why Emilie is now the one being visually alienated from her husband and future son when normally it's always GABRIEL in that position.

These visual connections are simply beyond fascinating to me. Adrien in his civilian Form has always been compared alot more to Emilie and this drawing reflects that (besides the eye colors), whereas Gabriel is the one alienated because of his aloofness. But now, good 14 years later, the same color scheme that singled Gabriel out in the past is the one Adrien adapted for his Chat Noir persona. And remember, as Chat Noir Adrien wants to purposely NOT be Adrien Agreste anymore so it's almost like Adrien actively/subconsciously took an example of his fathers aloofness he always noticed to channel it into recreating the very same distance towards "Adrien Agreste" as Chat Noir.

In that case Gabriel SERIOUSLY must have been distant (which, to be fair, the drawings properly depicts) because we all know that sometimes Chat Noir and Adrien do NOT seem to be the same person AT AL! It's almost infuriating how much sense that would make in terms of Adriens characterisation and now I hate Gabriel even more :/

And while this thought already legitimately breaks my heart, put it in perspective with the fact that Adrien, when he is turned into his childhood dream of "being what his parents wanted him to be", then straight up turns into the civilian Adrien we have always known

It's jarring to see what Gabriels and Emilies parenting did to their son. That Adrien for so long (successfully actually) tried to embody the vision his parents had/have for him because he doesn't want to disappoint them, but in actuality they pressured him so much that at this point Adrien longed for an outlet where he can literally do the exact opposite.

It shows just how big of a deal being Chat Noir actually IS/WAS for Adrien. Every time he transforms he knows/thinks that his parents wouldn't agree with what he's doing and how he is behaving and that they would be disappointed if they'd ever find out. Think about it, it's messed up that Adrien is aware/thinks that he's actively disappointing his loved ones very time he's Chat Noir and yet transforming into the anonymous hero was for a long time really the only option in Adriens mind to TRULY get to live out any individuality. No wonder he never tried too much as Adrien :/

But the episode fortunately also show us just how far Adrien has come from this childhood dream and that he's ready to not NEED Chat Noirs outlet to avoid disappointing people anymore. Don't get me wrong, it's happening the most painful way possible and you'll never get me to say that Adrien not needing Chat Noirs savety anymore because he accepted that he cannot avoid disappointing his loved ones since he thinks that Ladybug is just ready to leave him behind and nothing will ever be enough for Gabriel anyway is in any kind of reality a "necessary" step. There is no lesson, no development that cannot be teached in a nice way. MARINETTE literally gets to learn all of her lessons this seasons in ways NOT damaging her, she gets to heal. So no, Adrien getting his first "positive" outlook at the end of the episode by soldering through accepting that he just IS a failure, IS not wanted or needed the way he is and just ISN'T good enough, never has been and never WILL be is in no god damn way "necessary". Especially because it's clearly shown to NOT be true (especially him thinking that Ladybug is perfectly fine with leaving him behind one day) I hate it when people make this heartbreaking step Adrien has to take to somehow move on from his horrible, HORRIBLE situation right now out to be "right" and "just what he needs".

No, what Adriens desperately needs is a solid support system, understanding and patience and the fucking informations on what the hell is going on around him transformed AND detransformed! NOT this cruelty forcing him to literally accept the exact opposite of the truth that he is a failure who isn't enough for everyone he loves so its better for him and everyone to just make peace with it and move on to something else. What the fuck people? How is this something GOOD??

What it perfectly shows though is just how much of a SURVIVOR Adrien is and how he managed to go through his awful life as well as he did so far. Honestly I'll repeat it until the day I die, Adriens emotional resilience is off the damn hooks, but at this point it's also drastically affected by just how MUCH Adrien had to emotionally deal with in his young life without ever actually getting a legit break.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from damaging or even traumatizing events without much lasting impact. Some people simply CAN do that, which is why I also dislike it when people say it's unrealistic that Adrien is able to cope so well and even quickly move on under his awful circumstances because, buddy, I have a resilience level pretty close to Adriens and already had it when I was around Adriens age or even younger.

But even a resilience on Adrien level can only get you through so much. Bouncing back from so many hurtful events and environments/situations will eventually lead to you one day accepting another hurtful situation to move on from it and bounce back even though it wasn't necessary at all! That's what Adrien is literally doing with Ladybug right now. He's so used to having to accept and bounce back from so many hopeless and painful situations for so long now that he starts to see it everywhere and reacts accordingly.

I don't wanna digress so much again so I will make another post at one point explaining just how massive the ending of "Wishmaker" was and that Marinette is unknowingly LEGITIMATELY loosing Chat Noir to the current situation. Once I've posted it I'll link it HERE.

Which brings me FINALLY back to the last two topics:

2.3) Switched eye colors and “Perfection”

Because it's weird isn't it? That the drawing is from Adriens pov and yet Emilie somehow is the one family member who has the different eye color (instead of Gabriel). The color scheme connections I just explained make sense when you look at it through Baby Adriens pov.

His mother is wearing the same color as him because they are so close (which normally matching outfits represent) and Gabriel looks like Chat Noir because Adrien later on uses the distance he always felt/feels from his father to recreate his distance between Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir. But why the eyes?

Normally Emilies green eyes are the most important visual key to convey that she and Adrien were/are alike. So with that logic it would mean that, yes, Baby Adrien very much noticed how close he and his mother are (therefore he sees them in matching clothing colors) but he didn't actually saw HIMSELF in her. He saw himself more in GABRIEL.

Which is.. so fascinating to think about. What does that mean for Adrien himself? And how he views his parents and others?

For this we have to remember what Adriens symbol was:

The Star.

As I already said before, Adriens star symbol represents the impossible expectations layed upon him ever since birth, which also reflect themselves in the literal golden cage he is in. It's an awfully huge burden his parents put on him,to basically reach "perfection" for their sake. And yet, like every child would, he still tries to live up to it. But like every human being Adrien of course struggled reaching this "perfection" all his life and its IN the struggle to reach perfection in which he relates the most to other people.

Adrien doesn't see himself as the "perfection" he manages to uphold. Do other people see him as such? Definitely. Ironically Adrien actually manages to uphold his parents ridiculous expectations so well til now that for other people it just seems effortless. They just see him as his accomplishments and turn a blind eye towards his struggle to REACH this perfection that Adrien tries to hide because Adrien was teached that its expected of him to NOT struggle in the first place.

But instead of growing up with the mindset of "Okay that's just how it is in general, EVERYBODY is supposed to strive to improve themselves until they don't struggle with their expectations anymore. Therefore everybody who DOES is either not good enough (yet) or a lazy, talentless slacker who doesn't even TRY." Adrien instead grew incredibly sympathic towards others and their struggles because he KNOWS what that feels like.

So Adrien sees himself as the struggles and mistakes that "hinder" him from finally becoming "good enough", even though he does NOT hold other to the same standards since he knows how much it hurts. He never gave himself the same sympathy as he gave others and he also never entirely let go of this mindset in the first place. Because he uses the mindset more in the way of "Yes people SHOULD strive to become the best version of themselves they can become and good for those who actually MANAGE that, but I'll not condemn those who struggle on their way because I know how hard it is. With support and patience they will one day get there and hopefully so will I."

Meaning the moment anyone shows the sign of legit potential he's not gonna write that person off,unless they either show themselves to be unwilling to get better or hurt other people so bad he draws the line.

THIS is what Adrien relates to: Struggling people who still try to do their best despite their shortcomings. But he only developed to become this sympathic because he also believes that people can ACTUALLY reach "perfection" in the first place.

THIS is in my opinion actually how Adrien tends to view Ladybug. People say that Adrien puts Ladybug on a pedestal all together and thinks she is 100% perfection, which dehumanizes her. But that just never felt accurate to me, because Adrien is more than aware that Ladybug isn't a flawless person and very much needs support and help.

No, in my opinion Adrien sees Ladybug as one of those people who actually MANAGE to reach perfection through improvement, the right support and sheer talent. In his eyes she IS what he hoped to be, she CAN close the gab he just can't overcome.There is a subtle but very important difference here, but it's the only explanation that makes sense in my opinion on how exactly Adrien views Ladybug as "perfect". Because he certainly DOES but definitely not in the way Marinette views Adrien as perfect. These two dynamics never felt the same and THIS is why.

Unfortunately though, it's exactly when people manage to "reach perfection" in Adriens eyes that thats where they tend to kinda loose him. Not in the sense of him despising perfect people, but simply because he can't RELATE to them anymore.

Adrien ironically becomes almost like the people around him who can't see HIS struggle behind his perfection. Because he feels and sees his own struggles, mistakes and need for help so evidently that when he can't see or feel the same obvious signs of struggle in other "perfect" people he tends to think they have officially reached their peak potential in this regard and don't need support or help anymore. Of course he still has the kindness to always give the "perfect" people his support when he sees that they obviously need it but in general he thinks that they now reached what he can't managed so they are fine.

Thats where a huge chunk of Adriens self-esteem problems steem from. In comparison to these people, who he thinks reached their specific kind of "perfect", he sees himself as worthless and not good enough to reach his perfect and not struggle as well. As long as Adriens struggles with literally anything whatsoever (especially in regards to his responsibilities, their expectations or just straight up things that are important to him) he will forever beat himself up and see himself as lesser than others.

It's especially heartbreaking because Adrien is this close, THIS CLOSE to understanding that this unreachable state of "perfection" doesn't exist and that this way of thinking actually (probably mostly) steems from Gabriels self-entiteled world view that everything has to reach HIS standards and if not they're a pathetic, useless heathen not worth his time and presence. These two may share the same idea of "reaching perfection" as a mindset to judge themselves and other people by, but they honestly couldn't go about it any more different.

Gabriel sees himself and his own standards as ultimate and "perfect" so he sees it as the job of the other people to live up to it. He also won't help others to understand and reach his standards, he just demands it and will also not reward them when they finally do it. For him making the effort of reaching his standards is the default of being a "worthy" person.

Adrien on the other hand sees "Perfection" as the goal to strive forwards to that hangs above everyones head but not everyones life circumstances demand perfection on the same degree and in the same time. Adrien sees perfection much more individually depending on the potential and life somebody has and he relates to and has deep and genuine sympathy for people who can not live up to their potential for some reason. He already views others as worthy people even if they are FAR away from their "perfect" and he's always ready to give more chances and support to help someone on their way. Unlike Gabriel he doesn't actively SET standards for others but he tends to judge HIMSELF by the ones others set (because of his deeply rooted insecurities and self-esteem issues)

These two point of views towards "perfection" basically explain most of their father-son relationship.

Gabriel sees Adrien as

Because his son genuinely manages to uphold every damn expectation Gabriel puts on him and he demands that Adrien continues to do so until Gabriel managed to suffocate even the tiniest "imperfection" out Adrien with an iron fist. THIS is what normally makes Adrien the ideal son and worth loving in Gabriels eyes: how much Adrien can embody Gabriels standard of "perfection".

In contrast to that it's literally so god damn funny (and DEPRESSING) that Adrien is like "look, I know the man's a jackass but he's my father and I still love him and want him in my life. I know that Father has the potential to become a much better version of himself again with the right support and patience, we only need to GET there together."

I know you may ask why the HELL I just digressed so much again when I actually wanted to talk about why Baby Adrien sees himself more in Gabriel than Emilie in the childhood drawing, even though we know the narrative always suggests the opposite.

To that I say, first of all: Welcome to my Familyagrestefanblog, get used to it.

But most importantly: everything I just said is EXACTLY the reason why Baby Adrien sees himself more in his father despite Gabriel being distant and quite different from his son (and Emilie being RIGHT THERE for Adrien to relate to)

The expectations and pressure put on Adrien had him struggling to feel "good enough" so incredibly early on in his life, but already back then was Adrien able to pick up the same vibes of struggling in others to relate to as he does now. That's also probably where this sympathetic instinct of Adrien took roots for the first time and then developed: with his father.

Adrien has always seen Gabriel as a man who genuinely struggles with his role as a father but still tries in his own way.

That's literally what we saw almost the entirety of s1-s3, how Adrien deals with the questionable parenting style Gabriel deems appropriate for the situation (putting aside the entire Hawkmoth thing that's not what this is about).

So when we see how Baby Adrien sees more of himself in his father than his mother than that's because Adrien related to Gabriels obvious struggle with handling Fatherhood. Because that was Gabriels ONE JOB in Baby Adriens eyes (because that's all that matters for a baby, duh), just like he himself had the ONE JOB to become his parents perfect star. Emilie too only had one job in Baby Adriens eyes but unlike with himself and Gabriel Adrien saw his mother not struggling at all with her motherhood, forming a strong bond with her son right away with loads of affection and closeness.

For Adrien EMILIE was the only one of the three of them who actually managed to uphold the expectations her job as his mother demanded of her. She reached this specific kind of "perfection" in his eyes which then ironically made her LESS relatable to him in this regard. His mother wasn't a failure, but he knew that he (or so he thinks) and his father were failing their jobs despite trying and THIS is why Gabriel has Adriens green eyes in the drawing and Emilie the eye color that alienates her from her family the way it normally does for Gabriel.

Adrien SHOULD see himself in Emilie (the way these two are visually present in the actual "reality" of the show) but he doesn't. He grew up so overwhelmed that he simply got used to seeing himself in and relating to Gabriels incompetence as a parent and then undeservedly projected that back onto himself and his own efforts.

Alright, that's all I have for now. Sorry for the abrupt ending I legitimately don't know how to wrap this up x3 Again it's primarily thought exercise so its really difficult to find a beginning, a logical order to present this big picture with and an ending for all these points.

I'm really excited to read your takes on all of this, who knows what we amazing theories we can come up with this time? :D

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