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#i had to get this out since its been sitting on the brain
sirfrogsworth · 2 days
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Dinner with Aunt Denise & Uncle Jeff A Tale of Science Fair Photography
Ever since my parents died my aunt and uncle have done their best to fill some of the hole left in my heart. It almost feels like they adopted me in a way. They check on me. They help me clean. They helped me sort through all of my parents' belongings. And from time to time they invite me over for dinner when I'm feeling up to it.
Last week I got a new invitation. I had been feeling pretty lonely as of late so I graciously accepted. Before I left I saw my camera sitting on the table and realized I had this fancy new lens which is especially suited for taking pictures of people.
I thought to myself...
"This lens has only taken pictures of bridges at sunset."
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Which is cool and everything, but I don't really want my only photos to be of bridges at sunset. I like taking pictures of other things.
I didn't have any lighting equipment handy—just a single external flash. And without a solid plan for how I was going to use it, I quickly packed said flash and headed westward. As I saw the sun lowering in the sky above the highway my big photography brain had an idea...
"I should take pictures of *people* at sunset."
I needed a reflector of some kind to bounce my flash against. I thought poster board would probably suffice so I stopped at Walmart and headed to the arts and crafts area. I found these tri-fold poster board thingies that grade school kids use to display their science fair experiments.
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I got 2 for $7!
What a deal!
After I arrived I asked if my aunt & uncle minded having their photo taken. My aunt said she was fine with it but warned me that no one had ever been able to take a decent photo of her.
I'm typically not one to be braggadocious, but I replied...
"Well, that's because you've never had your photo taken by ME."
I'm not sure I should have been so cocky considering my lighting equipment is typically used to display the life cycle of earthworms, baking soda volcanos, and... potato batteries—which was the delightful and totally real project I just found on Google.
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Science Fair Entry from Billy, Age 10
After a delicious feast of bratwurst, salad, and non-electrified potatoes, I convinced my aunt and uncle to sit for a sunset photoshoot. They even helped me set up my science fair project.
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Science Fair Entry from Froggie, Age 42
I decided to do a quick test indoors to make sure my plan would work. Jeff volunteered for my first experiment.
Without my contraption...
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With my contraption...
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I think my experiment was quite promising. But would my idea hold up outside during the sunset with constantly dimming conditions?
We moved everything to the backyard. The tri-fold poster board was a bit ornery regarding its uprightness and needed to be tamed. My Uncle Jeff used a large rock, some pillows, and a step ladder to keep the makeshift reflectors in place.
I started taking test photos without the flash to figure out the background exposure.
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Those pesky power lines were going to need to be zapped later in Photoshop, but I was really digging the scenery.
I dialed everything in, started taking photos, and even on the little rear camera screen I felt like they were turning out well. With the sun setting the sky looked like it was on fire. But then the batteries died in my flash and I was starting to lose that fiery sky as darkness began to creep into view.
Unfortunately, all of the potatoes were in our bellies so my aunt scrambled to find regular batteries in the house.
This photoshoot had become a complete team effort with everyone doing their part to make it a success.
Surprisingly it was my Uncle Jeff was giving me some bona fide model poses. He just naturally has some sort of... resting model face. Very masculine and authentic. And my Aunt Denise is just pure sunshine manifested as a person. So I had no problems getting nice expressions from her.
So... would you like to see the pictures?
Will I get a blue ribbon on my science fair project?
Am I building up the suspense too much?
Okay, here we go...
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I suppose the only validation I really need is from the person who has never had a decent photo taken of them.
Let's see the verdict.
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All of those hours and hours of photography training helped me learn the problem solving skills I needed to pull off a photoshoot with seven dollars in supplies.
Take a small light source, bounce it off something larger, and you get a big light source.
And big light sources make people look snazzy in photographs.
Easy!
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Are you kidding me?
I lost to the potato kid?
What kind of rigged nonsense...
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bigfatbimbo · 3 days
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Oh fuck you got me obsessed with caine, shoot.
Heya its me again with my second TADC ask lol @hazbinhotelmollykisser
So i literally like just read ur caine post. Uh. I literally have not had enough time to form any thoughts (except for how he would likke with my hands around his waist) UH anyway lol!
I had an idea while writing that paragraph
SO lets say that maybe after you had been doing the censor bar trick on him all day, and eventually you pull him aside and sit on a random chair, and he just without thinking like. Straddles your lap or smth (ewwhat why do i exist i hate my brain ew i hate writing and myself /nsrs) lol and then after a few seconds of silence and like processing he just. I ran out of words shoot.
Basically either horny shenanigans ensue there or you just get up with him and leave him to think about that moment while you go do like god knows what
Everytime i write an ask under this blog i get anxious (partly because i dont think ive ever requested anything other than like smutty hcs or just smut uhhhh) and i secomd guess myself 😭 im not gonna do that this time though!!!1!!,1!!! !!!
Also i have some words about charlie from hazbin hotel and her glittery pink strapon, lute and other exorcist rival(?)words, lucifer words, mr. Puzzles words, and also a few molly words? Going full circle around to my original molly anon ask lol. So basically say the word and i will tell you all of those thoughts and words smiley face emoji
- @hazbinhotelmollykisser
OH MY GOD YES I WIN I DID IT. Also, still working on those Jax headcanons because they were gold, I have a good sum of Jax headcanons to write though.
BUT ANYWAYS! “you pull him aside and sit on a random chair, and he just without thinking like. Straddles your lap or smth” GOD THATS SO CUTE. I like the idea that he just wouldn’t process doing that like it’s just instinct lmfao— BUT I don’t think he wouldn’t do that unless you’d been seeing eachother for a whiiiile. Because he would probably be very careful about keeping things family friendly during the daytime[?] (time your all up??) so I guess that what makes this idea kinda appealing.
ALSO oh my god, don’t second guess yourself when you send something! Your requests are always so cute. Oh also i’ve been meaning to post those little thoughts of saint peter, I probably won’t have too much to say since he’s not one of my favs but I will give my thoughts!
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the-dankfarrik · 7 months
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Getting brainworms of a slow burn Rolan and traveling adventurer!Tav following the events of Baldur's Gate 3.
Tav leaving the city and becomes the hero of the Sword Coast, helping those in need. Tav being a near mythical figure in Faerun that appears when you are most in need and vanishes right after.
The only constant in their life is going back to stock up on equipment and unloading magical items they find on their travels at Ramazith's Tower. Maybe they even get invited back up to Rolan's office to talk about the acquisition of more rare magical artifacts - totally not because of Rolan Lia and Cal want to fuss over their latest injuries and scars while chiding them for not being careful enough and playing too much of a hero.
Tav having Rolan on sending speed dial for uh. quicker item delivery. totally. Tav keeping a stockpile of Galdur's Speedy Courier on themselves to send items and later little mementos that remind them of Rolan back to the Tower. Rolan making a waygate for Tav directly into the living area of the Tower because ' you come over enough already what's the point of going through the shop'. Tav moving in during the times they are back in Baldur's Gate for supplies since ' this tower is better fortified and we have so many spare rooms, you are just wasting gold on the inns unnecessarily. Rolan creating rings of protection for Tav because 'its ridiculous that you have to rely on so much armor to be safe, what happens if you like take it off - take it off to sleep, I mean, to sleep' (Lia snickering that he is some lovesick fool making rings for Tav already before they've even held hands)
Tav's renown as a folk hero growing in parallel with Rolan's fame as the archwizard of Baldur's Gate, but they are both where each other's stories began. Becoming legends to everyone else but still seeing each other as they were in the Grove, in the Underdark, in the mornings when the sun is rising in the Tower and it's just the two of them. They are each other's first supporters, and they are the ones to keep each other from being overwhelmed by the weight of their reputations.
Tav anchoring Rolan to being a mortal and those in need even when he begins doing ninth-level spells. Rolan being Tav's point of security and consistency, no matter how dangerous their journey or how far their road. Both of them traveling to the edge of the realm or the possibility of the Weave but always coming home to each other. And they haven't even kissed.
Just....Rolan and adventurer!Tav.
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tearfest · 5 months
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mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3
#u can ignore but!#in the process of secretly prepping to cut my mum off bc shes got total financial control over me (im 26)#i got a lot of money when i was 18 from an accident n shes basically in control of my assets bc she made it that wah#*way#if that makes sense#like i can only access my money if i go to the bank with her. she lives in a house i boyght her free of charge#sje bullied me into biying another house in wales so she can rent it out as a holidah home n use it as a free holiday spot n said i would#get an income from it but shes given me nothing in the 4/5 yrs weve had it#she put her name on the deeds to all my assets#so i have money but it is inaccessible#i need some bc i need to fund my phd next year but sje wont help me#anyways! thats lowkey besides the point#my dads got a brain tumor n my mum doesnt know i still see my dad bc she thinks i havent spoke to him since je left like 3 yrs ago#but i helped hjm leave bc she was abusing him n had been since i was like 9#n now im stressed out bc my dads not well and i feel like um running out of time with him#but hes in the hospital at the minute after having a siezure a few weeks after his brain surgery#so ive visited him like 3 days in a row n he remarried this year and my stepmum/sisters are so nice#its like having a real family#and it makes me feel guilty yo say that abt my mum n sister#like the guilt of havi g a bad parent is so real tonight fellas im just gonna sit n cry for a few dags#tbd.#if u read this far i love u .. whats hr zodiac#but yeah! this is why im so inactive#n bc im doi g my masters degree but . that pales in comparison rn
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arolesbianism · 29 days
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Some stuff I've drawn semi recently
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#furry#furry oc#furry art#Ive been going thru it recently but Ill survive#on the bright side the pet sitting job for my aunt is coming up soon#so Ill have a house to myself for a bit at least#Im probably still gonna be fairly offline for the foreseeable future unless I somehow manage to fix my sleep schedule anytime soon#not to say I will be on any sorta complete hiatus or anything just that Im not getting any more active most likely#not that I think anyone rly cares at this point since its been the norm for a while now but yknow#Ill still be around to answer asks and stuff just dont freak out if I take a lil bit to see it 👍#anyways enough of being a downer Im actually pretty happy with these even if theyre mostly just doodles#also I havent posted any art of these guys in a While but say hi to them while you can cause theyre back into the void of my brain now#first is keese (the oc™) second is toon and third is clyve#all from different stories but toon and clyve are both from the magic cat universe#their paths never meet tho the closest connection they have has to go through like 4 characters first#you can also tell theyre from different stories because one is anthro and the other isnt lol#generally speaking I consider anthro designs slightly more canon but both are canon depending on the story#not in a shapeshifting way just in a me being an inconsistent bitch sorta way#but yeah keese the oc is much older than either of those two I just dont talk abt them or their story ever#but hey if any of yall remember suckerz those two are besties#suckerz is sort of younger than the other two and sort of much older than all three#shes a sort of updated version of a reallyyyy old sona sort of character I had in like 6th grade I think#back during my lilo and stitch experiment oc era where I had one that was music themed#I also had a digimon variant of her she was called like beatramon or smth like that#she was basically a hypothetical music mascot and shes kind of still that tbh#if I ever get enough into making music that I start posting shit it will be my music mascot
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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...
#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made#friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go#bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple#the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula#for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b#concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown#its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a#healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take#more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end#of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me#and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this#project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data#bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i#just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem#bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping#ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and#classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die#my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday#who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio#majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes#b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative#ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week#until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad#who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we#die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him#its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of#sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol#whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated
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whumpy-wyrms · 4 months
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ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE TLLR CHAPTER 11????? WHAT
#wyrms says stuff#SORRY ITS TAKING FOREVER TO WRITE HOLY SHIT???#i thought it had been like 2 weeks or something#dude i’m actually sorry it’s taking so long to get chapters out#BUT like the next three chapters are all around 2/3 of the way done#i miss those phases where writing becomes sooooo so so easy for me and i write like 3k words a day#i’ve never been able to like stick with a writing schedule#my energy for writing comes and goes as it pleases and it’s been like that all my life. drawing comes naturally#it never bothered me before that i’d just not write for a few months at a time and then suddenly get motivation#to write a shit ton of stuff at once in rapid succession#and it sucks because forcing myself to sit down and write is hard it just doesn’t come super naturally like drawing does.#like forcing myself to draw can be a lot of fun and it’s easy. but honestly i don’t chose when my brain tells me it’s writing time#but that’s probably not a good thing huh#and also i’m like?? SUPER SUPER excited about some of the chapters coming up?? like chapter 14 is THE chapter i’ve been most excited about#since i started this series. AND ITS BASICALLY ALREADY WRITTEN TOO#the parts in between are hard to figure out i’ve realized#and also hard to give myself motivation to write them. im basically just annoyed that writing doesn’t come as naturally as art does for me#and that ever since i started actually writing about my own ocs like 6 years ago#i’ve only been able to write in short bursts of a few months at a time#it’s annoying but it’s a good challenge for me to overcome. i just have to sit down and write and then i’ll get that motivation back#the next chapter should be done very very soon!!!
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possiblytracker · 1 year
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just found out abt the silksong delay and tbh i think i would be more upset if a) i wasnt kind of expecting it by now b) i hadnt been lowkey worried for Several Years that it'd come out very close to another highly anticipated game, making my wallet cry and my hyperfixations battle for dominance leaving only chaos and ruin in their wake
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soldier-poet-king · 2 years
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Not me doing the SAME government HR training I've done for my past like. 4 jobs. Being lectured on disability and accessibility by ignorant (albeit well meaning) mfs, my BEHATED
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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it’s halfway past 2022 and we still have idiots who insert their ship hate into people’s ship keywords and then go “dimitri and claude are distant cousins and it makes me uncomfortable”
lmfao bro do you have any idea how blood or ancestry works bc this ain’t it
update: found another idiot who thinks “most sources” saying “their related” (yeah, they rly tried to argue about misinformation being spread while saying “their related”) automatically means incest!
newsflash: incest is not a romantic relationship between two people who had a common ancestor 300 years ago. “it was only ten generations ago” is ten generations of thinned blood to the point it literally doesn’t matter anymore, and even less between two guys if “incest babies” is what ppl are worried abt.
also, let’s not forget the fact that this was written in a presumed time period where people died young (which they do anyway in FE), often because of things like war and illness. there were probably more than ten sets of genetics passed on. 300 years = ten generations does not equal ten exactly perfect set amount of genetics being passed down.
#imagine trying to put your hate into people's search keyword(s) or tag(s)#and you can't even argue against it with correct information#you just go oh it makes my stomach turn but the reason you provide for that is not even logical#and is factually false. like. bro. grow a brain before you argue against something first of all#second of all get your filthy vent hate out of people's ship areas why are people so SHITTY#oh boo hoo someone had a distant ancestor 300 years ago so they are banned from a romantic relationship with someone#who was born 300 years after their ancestor#like do you know how many people would be related if that shit even remotely mattered? do you?#do you realize how many people would be related if you thought about every single marriage#every single child every single sibling every step/half relation in that 300 years?#literally fuck off with your bullshit hate that can't even stand up on its own. ppl search for ships to see content#not to see literal idiot assholes go into their spaces which should be a fun space for them#and post their literal shit takes in there. literally started blocking every single person who liked that post#and ngl it's pathetic how many ppl lately have been tagging their hate since Hopes came out#the amount of ppl I've blocked recently has increased tenfold and it's fucking ridiculous#the world is stressful enough why do you gotta go into people's safe spaces and unload your hateful bullshit on us there too???#y'all wouldn't like it if someone did that to you but you sit around doing it to other ppl. real fuckin' nice bud#yes i am angry at this point lol this is umpteenth time i've tried to look for new content and found someone#putting their hate there instead like no you're not just venting you're putting the full name of a ship in your post#which is going to show up in that ship's searches and yet you didn't even censor it so that it would not show up there#so instead of doing the respectful thing to actually vent on a website that would pick up a keyword#they just don't bother and uwu it makes me uncomfortable that two ppl had an ancestor 300 whole ass years ago uwu#pity my discomfort uwu#bitch if a fictional ship makes your stomach turn and it's that bad you need literal HELP. OFF the internet#last time I was that uncomfortable with a fictional ship I literally needed HELP and wasn't in a good mental state#at least I didn't post my hate for it in anyone's safe spaces. assholes are so fckn tiringgggg#get your ''uncomfortable'' snowflake ass out of people's safe spaces with your illogical hate#also no dw anyone following me it's not you guys lol#DCB Comments
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ldrfanatic · 5 months
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Oh Bella
Italian!Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader
synopsis - 3 times the reader teases Theo’s Italian roots + 1 time she celebrates them
cute, lazy fluff, no angst just happy vibes for a happy christmas :)
slytherin boys masterlist navigation
warning - internet translated Italian
(got these ideas from Ben and Fabio on instagram they’re so funny)
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It wasn’t easy to date Theodore Nott. It was always rewarding but it wasn’t always easy.
For starters, Theo grew up in Italy and has one of the thickest Italian accents you’ve ever heard. There were a few times over the course of your relationship that you had to ask him to repeat himself a few times. Like when he was trying to tell you that Draco had invited you out on a double date with himself and Hermione.
You had just woken up from a nap when Theo walked into the Slytherin common room after quidditch practice. He flashed you a breath taking smile and all but skipped up to you as you rubbed your tired eyes. You felt your heart melting in your chest at the sight of your adorable boyfriend.
“Buongiorno Bella.” (good morning beautiful) Theo swooped down and delivered a soft kiss to the side of your face before plopping down next to you on the couch. “Guess what?” You hummed in response as you snuggled deep into his side.
“What’s up Theo?”
“At quidditch practice today, Draco says that you and I, we can go out double with them.”
In your tired brain, Theo’s words made even less sense. You sat up from his side and stared at him with your brows furrowed. “Huh?” Theo stared blankly back at you. He brushed a piece of your hair away from your face.
“Still asleep, Bella?”
You shook your head lightly but it didn’t convince either of you entirely. A chuckle rumbled through Theo and his chest vibrated in laughter.
“Draco says we can go double out with Herminone.”
Now it was your turn to laugh at the way Theo pronounced Hermione’s name. You’d all been friends for about two years now since she and Draco had started dating, but he still couldn’t quite pronounce her name correctly.
Finally deciphering his thick accent and slightly broken, but still cute English, realization dawned upon you. You tried to smother a smile as you stared at your boyfriend in pure adoration. “You mean he invited us to double date with them?”
Theo looked at you for a few seconds before standing up and sighing a little dramatically.
“Mio dio Bella, that’s what I said”
“Mmm of course, Theo.”
So, dating Theodore Nott was not without its challenges. But it also wasn’t without its fun.
1.
It was Mattheo’s birthday so of course the Slytherin common room was filled to the brim with drugs, alcohol, and probably the sluttiest girls in all of Hogwarts. Theo was sitting at a table off in the corner with both of your guys’ drinks and was noticeably uncomfortable in such an environment.
You’d gone to get ice for your sex on the beach when you had a mischevious idea. You scooped a little more ice into the cup and started making your way back to Theo.
You caught sight of Mattheo what was sitting on one of the large couches dead center in the room. He had three girls all over him right now and Lorenzo was giggling uncontrollably as he passed him a joint. Mattheo caught your eye and winked playfully. He liked to flirt with you to rile Theo up a little bit every once in a while.
You finally made it back to your table where Theo was swirling a deep red wine in a glass. His lips quirked up in a small smile as you took your seat next to him. Without speaking, he reached out and pulled your chair impossibly closer to his before throwing an arm around your shoulders.
“Ciao Bella.”
Your entire body bloomed at the sound of his thick accent over his husky voice. Warmth settled over you like a fluffy blanket on a snowy morning.
“Ciao Theo.”
The surprise on Theo’s face was more than enough to make you happy that you’d taken up Italian recently. You practiced with Lorenzo in some of your free time and he was a pretty good teacher. You made eye contact with Theo and winked before settling into his side.
Theo immediately became suspicious as you were known for your antics.
“What are you up to Il mio piccolo piantagrane, hm?” (my little troublemaker)
“Nothing Theo, relax.”
He stared at you suspiciously for a few seconds before his body finally loosened.
The opportunity was too great to miss.
You leaned over both of your drinks and dumped ice into your sex on the beach before then dropping a few ice cubes into Theo’s wine.
His reaction was nearly instantaneous.
“Oh! Bella, no! No, no, no!” His lips turned up in disgust and multiple muted expressions left his mouth in what you assumed were Italian swears.
“Che diavolo? Ghiaccio nel vino? No! Il vino è sacro.”
(what the hell? ice in wine? no! wine is sacred.)
A large hand came and ran through his messy curls and the laugh you’d been surprising burst suddenly from your chest. Theo’s eyes snapped to yours and you recognized the mischievous glint.
A squeal left your mouth as you leapt up from your seat and took off around the common room with him hot on your tail.
2.
The second time that you decided to make your poor sweet Italian boyfriend question all decisions to be with you was at dinner one night. You weren’t intentionally teasing him at first as you stared down at your empty plate trying to think of what you wanted.
You glanced over to Theo’s plate next to you and saw a mouthwatering pasta that he’d conjured. You tugged gently on the sleeve of his green sweater and his attention found yours immediately.
“What’s wrong, bellissima?”
“Can you get me some of that, please Theo?”
“Of course.”
He took your plate in his hands and after a few seconds his dish was sitting in front of you. You noted how he made sure there were no tomatoes in yours like there were in his. Theo knew you hated tomatoes. It was so sweet it almost made you feel bad for what you were about to do to his little Italian heart.
Almost.
Theo picked up his fork and started to dig into his food before he stopped abruptly. Lorenzo too stopped eating his own food and the pair stared at you incredulously as you shoveled the pasta into your mouth.
“Oh Bella.”
He seemed more horrified than anything else. You loaded more food into your mouth being careful to eat as much as a lady as you could.
“No.” You stared at him blankly with a sheepish look before resuming your meal. “Bella, no. Twirl. Like this,” Theo picked up his fork and expertly swirled the noodles around before bringing it up to his mouth.
You offered him a gentle grin before promptly resuming what you were doing before. From across the table Lorenzo started whisper screaming at Theo in Italian.
“Theo, Cosa c'è che non va nella tua ragazza? Lei mangia la pasta come una bambina!” (what’s wrong with your girlfriend? she eats pasta like a child!)
Theo stared at you astounded as redness crept up his face. Then it finally dawned on him that you were teasing.
“Bella per favoreee.” He dragged out his words with a small smile on his face at your teasing. You both knew that you knew the proper way to eat pasta.
“No more teasing love.” You nodded through your giggles and Theo wrapped a thick arm around your waist and pulled you into his side.
3.
So, you knew that you promised Theo no more teasing last week but when you overheard him and Lorenzo complaining earlier in the most adorable stuttered English you couldn’t help yourself. You were walking down towards the common room to get lunch with the boys.
Theo, Lorenzo, and Mattheo were sitting in the common room all having a discussion. Suddenly you heard your boyfriend’s sweet Italian symphony of a voice shift into one of astonishment. You peeked around the corner and saw both him and Lorenzo staring at Mattheo like he’d just said the most offensive thing ever.
“What do you mean you have the cappuccino in the afternoon, huh?” His fingers came to rub at his temples and you had to stifle your laugh behind your hand. “Puah! cappuccino è solo per la mattina.” (Cappuccino is only for the morning).
Mattheo stared blankly at the two. Finally you decided to step in before the vein in Theo’s forehead burst.
“Theo? I’m ready.”
By the time that you made it to the Great Hall, the boys seemed to have forgotten about their earlier conversation. Mattheo walked quietly in step next to you while Theo and Lorenzo conversed in Italian so quickly your head was spinning.
“Psst. Y/n I have an idea on how to make that little Italian boy of yours blow a fuse.”
(“Maledizione Lorenzo, non credi che se sapessi cosa regalarle non andrei fuori di testa?”)
You cursed yourself that you couldn’t understand what they were saying. After staring at the side of Theo’s handsome face for a few moments longer you let out a disgruntled noise and turned to Mattheo.
“Fine! What?”
And that was how you found yourself in this situation.
Trying your absolute hardest to keep a straight face without looking at Theo at all while you sipped on your cappuccino that you’d conjured in your cup.
“Oh Bella.”
Theo’s familiar distressed tone rang out from next to you. “You cannot be series, amore mio.”
“Do you mean serious, Theo?” Mattheo chimed in with an amused smirk.
Theo made a dismissive Italian noise and waved Mattheo off. He swore under his breath before grabbing the side of your face and turning it to him. “Bellissima, it is too late for a cappuccino!”
You smirked up at your distraught boyfriend and pressed a quick kiss to the softness of his cheek. “I know, amore.”
Theo stared at you before throwing his hands up in the air and turning back towards his lunch. Mattheo’s deep laugh burst out and you couldn’t help yourself but to laugh along with him.
You were so busy laughing you hadn’t noticed that Theo was staring at you with a smile. He was so very in love with you.
+ one time you celebrated Theo’s Italian roots
April 25th was meant to be celebratory. La Festa della Resistenza. And Theodore Nott was stuck at quidditch practice.
Meanwhile, you were scurrying around the common room with Lorenzo trying to set up the perfect surprise for Theo. With Italy’s Liberation Day approaching, you’d noticed Theo had been a little down lately. You knew that it was because he was missing his family.
Normally, his mother would prepare a big feast and the family would sing the song of the resistance, Bella Ciao. You’d taken a floo to his home in Italy and gotten some recipes from his mother directly, all his favorites. And now, you were trying desperately to teach a group of first year Slytherins how to sing the song that you’d been practicing for weeks.
You sighed deeply as you realized the little buggers you bribed with a few galleons each were not at all going to get the song down in time. You conjured your purse and shelled out a few galleons to each child before shooing them out of the common room.
By the time Theo got back from quidditch practice, everything was perfect. You were standing in the center of the room in a deep red dress that you knew was his favorite. When he saw the spread, Theo thought his heart might stop. You looked nothing short of stunning.
“Oh Bella.”
It didn’t hold any of the distress that it normally did. This time his tone was thick with adoration. Theo felt a lump moving up his throat that caught tears behind his eyes. His heart clenched in his chest. This was one of the most thoughtful things that anyone had ever done for him.
Just when he was certain you couldn’t get anymore perfect, your sweet voice rang out in an impossibly beautiful symphony that rivaled Pavarotti.
“Una mattina mi sono alzato
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao, ciao, ciao
Una mattina mi sono alzato
E ho trovato l'invasor.”
Theo held you closer to his chest and pressed his forehead against yours as he joined for the next verse.
“O partigiano, portami via
O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao, ciao, ciao
O partigiano, portami via
Che mi sento di morir.”
The two of you swayed as Lorenzo joined and the three of you sang the rest of the song together. When you finished, you all made plates and sat down in the common room.
“When did you learn all of this, Bella?”
You smiled gently at Theo while he stared at you like you were the most perfect being in the world.
“I took a trip to Italy to see your mother a little bit ago. She told me about La Festa della Resistenza the Celebration of the Resistance. She talked about how important it was to Italy’s history and that it marked the Resistance victory in the Italian Civil War. Then when I saw how sad you were to be away from home at this time I knew I had to do something.”
In that moment, Theo knew that there wasn’t anybody he’d ever loved as much as he loved you. He took your face in both of his hands and pressed a deep kiss to your lips.
“This is perfect, bellissima, thank you so much.”
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narumi-gens · 4 months
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boundaries gojo satoru x f!reader
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post-breakup!gojo who can't quite follow through on the breaking up. he's as present in your life after he ended things as he was when you were still dating.
he still blows up your phone at all hours with nothing important. he insists on holding your hand when you walk side-by-side. he still uses your apartment key, which you never had the heart to ask for him to return. you've ended up in more than one heated makeout session with him, although you have managed to keep them from progressing past him feeling up your tits over your bra.
and when you end up in the hospital after a mission, he shows up before even shoko can get there. you sigh when his towering form appears in the doorway of the room you've been given.
"looks worse than it is," you say and despite the way you slur your words due to the painkillers, it's true.
your concussion, while serious, isn't something that wouldn't heal on its own. your broken ribs managed to avoid puncturing any organs. even the burst blood vessel in your left eye that's colored the white of your eye a ghastly red is only really a surface-level injury.
but for once, the man who never shuts up stays silent as he pulls a chair close and sits at your bedside. he reaches for your hand but pauses when you wince at the pressure on the two fingers that are fractured and wrapped in a splint. instead, he settles for loosely holding onto your wrist.
"shoko's gonna fix it all anyways," you tell him through a yawn, your eyelids feeling heavy. "'sides, you shouldn't even be here. boundaries, satoru. 'member?"
it's a word that you've tossed in his face so many times since the breakup that it's lost all meaning. and it doesn't help that you've never managed to say it with any sort of real weight. instead, it usually comes out on the end of a resigned sigh.
you can feel his gaze on you even through his dumb sunglasses. normally, even post-breakup, you would reach out and pull them down his nose to meet those cursed eyes of his and make some joke. but with your brain working at a diminished capacity and your arm hooked up to an IV full of the best painkillers japan's doctors have to offer, all you can do is slowly blink at him in return.
"it's always boundaries this, boundaries that with you," he finally retorts with a shake of his head, but offers nothing else.
"'f you didn't want boundaries then you shouldn't've ended things, y'big dummy," you mumble, and no longer able to keep your eyes open, you finally let them close.
"I told you. I don't have room in my life for anyone else – i.e., you," he replies bluntly and you can feel the fit of giggles that you want to burst into, but all you can manage is a soft huff of laughter.
"liar," you say with a sleepy smile stretching across your lips. "can't even be honest when I'm strung out on painkillers. psh. lame."
it takes monumental effort, but you manage to crack open an eye so that you can see him sporting his own cheeky grin.
silence settles over you both and you feel yourself slowly beginning to fall into the blackness as your breathing slows. the soothing sensation of gojo's thumb rubbing circles on the skin of your wrist only aids in pushing you closer and closer to sleep.
"you were considered a suitable match." even on the edge of consciousness, the disgust in his tone at those two words reaches you. "I couldn't let them get what they wanted."
you let out a quiet hum in acknowledgment and wish you had enough strength to open your eyes, curious to see if he's surprised you weren't fully asleep yet.
"still letting 'em control you, hm? s'good we broke up. want someone who's only tied down by me," you mumble.
"baby, if you want to tie me down, all you had to do was say so," he jokingly responds, unsurprisingly choosing to sidestep the gravity of your words, no matter how slurred they were.
"boundaries, 'toru..." you trail off as you finally succumb to sleep.
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evie-sturns · 1 month
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needed this - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: after a month-long business trip, you finally return home to your boyfriend matt. you find out he hasn't came since you left, obviously you have to help him.
warnings: smut, very sub!matt, overstimulating, swearing.
-------------------°°••....••°°--------------------
i've been away with work for just over a month, meaning matt's had the house to himself, i'm finally arriving home this evening.
7:54pm
i twist the key into the white door, pushing it open. the scent i'm so used to filling my nose. "matt!" i call out, placing my bag down by the front door and bending over to unstrap my heels.
"i missed you." he says with a grin, speed walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me. i bury my face into his chest, "how was it?" he asks with a wide smile.
"it was good! how was the empty house?" i say, grabbing matts hand and dragging him upstairs.
"lonley as shit without chris and matt aswell, they've been filming with other creators for ages." matt says with a sigh as we walk into our shared bedroom.
"oh yeah, i saw that tara and shit meetup with them" i say, pulling my minidress off over my head.
i can feel matts eyes laying on me as i scavenge through our closet for anything comfier to wear, giving i've been in dresses for 5 weeks straight.
matt clears his throat, "movie?"
i nod, "yeah, yeah just pick whatever you want sweetheart."
matt flicks on the tv at the end of our bed, i unclasp my bra, letting it fall to my feet. i grab one one matts shirt, pulling it down past my head,
i jump into bed beside matt, my leg resting across his waist and lap as i cuddle to his side. the netflix intro blares through the room
"jesus christ!!" i laugh, grabbing the remote and turning down the volume. "my bad." matt says with a smile, shaking his head and pulling up the white fuzzy blanket over us.
-
8:23pm
i shift the leg which is laying across him, i feel matt grow tense under me, "you okay?" i whisper, looking up at him. "yeah- no yeah- yeah no i'm good." matt stammers, i laugh slightly,
"matt whats wrong?" i say with a giggle, "no- no yeah, shit i'm fine." he says again, his cheeks a deep red as he fidgets with his rings.
"matt." i say with a serious tone. "stop!- i'm fine!" he says, getting worked up.
i sit up in bed abrubtly, the blanket falling off my body, i look down at matts crotch,
hes hard.
he yanks the blanket up over his lap, i pull it back down and straddle his thighs, staring into his eyes. "why are you hard?" i ask quietly, "i'm not!" he instantly replies, his eyes drifting away from mine.
i palm him through his sweatpants, squeezing lightly, he lets out a breathless groan. "so.. what was that?" i tease him,
"i dont know? just your leg moving.." matt says, rubbing his eyes with his fists,
"you got hard from my leg?" i laugh slightly, he nods.
"thats okay." i assure him, reaching for his waistband and toying with it, his breathing intensifies quickly, "why are you so sensitive?" i ask, "just been different since you left a month ago" matt says quietly
"different like how?" i push,
"haven't- you know.." he sighs, "i don't know actually." i reply cheekily.
he doesn't reply, his eyes fixed on my hand which is resting just under his waistband. "tell me the last time you touched yourself" i say, matt goes redder somehow.
"month ago." he says, barely audible "thats okay." i say, tugging his waistband down. "please.." matt whines slightly, "i know." i say, pulling his waistband down to his mid-thighs.
"you want this?" i ask, lifting my self off his thighs to pull my panties off, "jesus, obviously." he says, i shoot him a 'watch your tone' look and he instantly goes quiet.
i sit up, hovering myself above matts tip, which is now red. his hands stay by his sides, i'm 95% sure his brain is so fogged he doesn;t know what to do with them anymore.
i grab his cold hands, placing them on my waist. i stay sitting above his tip for a few more seconds, its tempting to see how worked up i can get matt. he trys to guide me down, but i resist.
"please." he says, "matthew, stop whining and tell me what the fuck you want." i say, "please, you know what i want" matt says shyly, i stay still, waiting for him to practically beg.
"ride me, please?" he breathes out, i can see his stomach jolting up and down from his desperate breaths underneath his white sweater.
i nod, moving my hair to one side and slowly sinking onto matt, he squeezes his eyes shut, his hands dropping from my waist and balling up the white fuzzy blanket. i slowly take more of his length before bottoming out, sitting comfortably on his dick as matt lets out small whimpers
"you alright?" i ask, grabbing his hand which is squeezing the sheets.
he nods his head, "look at me, matt." i say, he opens his eyes, letting in small breaths. "calm. down." i say, he nods again as his top teeth sink into his pink bottom lip.
i slowly start to bounce on him, his eyes stay fixed on me as i quicken my pace. i throw my head back as i balance my hands on his thighs behind me.
"close- really close." matt squeezes out, "no, not yet matt." i tell him.
"i can't, oh my fuck-" he whines, his grip on my waist tightening, the cold metal of his rings pressing against the warmth of my skin.
"you can, and will." i say, placing a hand on his stomach to balance myself as i continue to ride him. he lets out soft groans as he throws his head back into the pillows, his hair flopping.
"your okay, your doing so well." i say with a small moan as I repeatedly hit my g-spot.
suddenly i feel matt release, coating my insides. matt rubs his eyes "did i tell you you could do that?" i say, looking into matts eyes.
"im sorry, shit- i'm so sorry." he rambles, instead of pulling off him, i chase my own orgasm. he groans from overstimulation, "too much, sensitive-" he says,
"is it my fault you came early?" i say as i sit down on his cock, rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone.
he shakes his head, somewhat arching his back off the bed as his hands dig into my waist. i let my head falll foward as i look down at matts hands,
"fuck it hurts." matt says,
we have an established safe word, he knows he can use it whenever he needs, but he's not.
"you want me to stop?" i ask, he pauses for a moment before letting out a breathless "no. fuck please dont-"
i continue to bounce on his length, i feel the pit in my stomach growing as my cheeks flush, matt has mutiple tears falling down his cheeks.
"i think i'm close-" matt says, my eyebrows twist with a small laugh "again?" i question, "yeah- shit." matt groans .
i clench around him, i think thats enough for matt to finish. the knot in my stomach snaps as i feel matt finish again. i collapse down onto matts chest as i attempt to catch my breath, he reaches down and pulls out of me with a wince.
"you okay? did i hurt you?" i say as i rest my face on matts shoulder.
"yeah- no im fine, needed that a lot." he says, his fingers tracing mindless shapes on my back.
after a handful of minutes i sit up on matts lower stomach before lifting myself off him, stepping down onto the plush of our carpet. "c'mon, lets get you cleaned up." i say, wiping matts face with one hand, matt stays still on the bed.
"matt? stand up" i say, matt has a small smile on his face, he wipes his eyes before starting.
"i cant.. stand."
----------------
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chxrryhansen · 3 months
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2. Rafe x innocent (and kinda naive/ airhead?) reader where reader and rafe are dating (still very new) and reader keeps reminding him she wants to wait longer (when they are making out/feeling each other up) and he keeps trying to go further, so he tells/manipulates her that it’s not normal for girls to not want to go further and something could be wrong, so he “checks” her (rubbing her clit and fingering her) and asking things like “does that feel good?” “Doesn’t that make you want more?” “Something probably is wrong if you want me to stop”, just so he can convince her to say she wants more (so then he fucks her).   
-💎
ur asks have me going FERAL. your brain is so beautiful and it must be treasured and protected at all costs. i actually hate the way i wrote this but i was too far in to change it by the time i realised i didn’t like it😒😒 nevertheless, this is a long one guys so buckle up!! (1.5k words!!!😱😱)
₊♡₊˚ 🎀・₊✧
you and rafe had only been dating for a few weeks, relationships were pretty much a whole new thing for you since your upbringing hadn’t really allowed it. you hadn’t had sex before, ever. and rafe wasn’t going to be patient for much longer, the furthest you two had went is making out, when it got heated you pulled back.. pushing him away and saying you didn’t feel well.
rafe was getting desperate, you didn’t even realise what you did to him. he was painfully hard most of the time since you were oblivious to how sexual you were being. such as bending over right infront of his face, showing him your cutesy pink panties or accidentally grinding against his cock when you squeezed past him in the kitchen. rafes frustration was at its peak and he couldn’t take it any longer.
rafe stretched his arm around your waist as you both lay in bed watching tv, biting his lip in thought before reaching out to grip your jaw gently, turning you to face him. he leant forward, catching your lips in a deep kiss, it didn’t take long knowing rafe before it got heated, as his tongue began battling your own for dominance you pulled away, taking deep breaths as you stared up at him with big innocent eyes.
“what’s wrong, pretty girl?” he muttered, lifting his thumb to wipe his drool from your mouth.
“n-nothing rafe, i just.. i don’t… i can’t go any further with you, i-i don’t think i’m ready for that.” rafe’s patience was out of the window by now, all rational thoughts evaporating as his cock grew harder, straining against his pants, desperate to be inside your sweet cunt.
“baby…” he sighed. “this isn’t normal.”
you stared at him with a confused expression, your eyebrows knitted. “i-i don’t understand, did i do something?”
he was quick to shut that thought down “no, no, no, my sweet girl, it’s more about what you didn’t do. see, other girls your age…they love being good for their daddy’s, and i just don’t think you are being good f’ me.” tears began to whell up in your eyes, his negative feedback not sitting right in your stomach. “daddy?” you questioned gently, your bottom lip wobbling.
“yeah, i’m your daddy, baby. and i think it’s about time you start calling me that. it’s true, no? i take care of you, i feed you, pay for your clothes, hell, i even take you to the bathroom. i may aswell be your daddy, so that’s what your gonna’ call me from now on, you got that?” he speaks softly, not wanting to discourage you or push you further away but needing to be firm enough so you understand. he’s testing the waters. seeing how easy it is to control your sweet mind in ways only a man like him could.
“i mean.. yeah, that-that makes sense i guess.”
a sly smile appears on his face, his thumb wiping a salty tear from your cheek “good girl.” he lifts your skirt with one hand, pushing into your panties and rubbing your clit, you gasp in surprise at the new sensation. “daddy! w-what are you doing?” you ask in shock.
rafe sighs “daddy needs to give you a check up baby, just to make sure nothin’s wrong. all i need to do is rub that sweet button of yours and fuck my fingers into your pretty pussy, mkay?” your cunt involuntarily clenches around nothing. “mkay, daddy.” you moan. rafes fingers stray from your clit to your entrance, his cock growing impeccably harder from the feel of your wetness, your pussy leaking around his hand.
“d-daddy, feels s’ good.” you whimper as he pushes his fingers into your hole, your walls clenching instinctively around his thick digits. “yeah? you like that? you like it when daddy fingers your sweet pussy?” he groan into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
he picks up his pace, fingering you roughly until the knot in your stomach begins to tighten, you grab at his wrist, pushing him away, which doesn’t really do much since your strength is no match for his own. “daddy! stop, i-i think i’m gonna’ pee.” you whine, embarrassment flooding through your veins. your cheeks flushed from the humiliation.
he lets out a small laugh, his famous smirk still painted across his face “no baby, your not gonna’ pee.. your gonna’ cum. your gonna’ cum with my fingers deep inside your cunt. ask me. ask daddy for permission.” he growls, a flip switching inside his brain. “p-please daddy, make me cum, please can i cum? please please please.” you beg, tears streaming down your face as you try desperately to hold back.
“cum.”
he growls, watching as your legs begin to shake, your pussy sucking his fingers further into your cunt. you cry out as your body spasms, a thick creamy fluid leaking out of you and into rafes palm. “that’s it, let it all out. dirty fuckin’ girl. creaming all over your daddy’s fingers.”
your breathing begins to slow as you come down from your orgasm although rafe keeps his fingers deep inside your pussy, catching you in a deep kiss. he takes your hand in his own and leads it down towards his cock, making you instantly recoil. rafe lets out a mixed groan of annoyance and sigh of disappointment under his breath. you look towards the bed, feeling guilty as ever. he turns you to face him again, his pretty blues simmering in darkness. “listen. pretty baby, i was trying to be nice earlier but… i think there is something wrong with you. all the other girls your age wanna’ fuck daddy, so why don’t you? i’ve been so patient with you sweets but, the clock’s tickin’.”
rafes fingers begin to fuck into you once again at a rapid pace, your whimpers and cries filling the room as he fucks you with his fingers. “see? doesn’t that feel good? doesn’t that make you want more?” you nod your head, dazed with pleasure. not even fully understanding his questions. “good girl.” he mutters before taking his cock out of his pants, before you even realise whats happening, rafe had removed his fingers and crawled on top of you, pushing the mushroom tip of his swollen fat cock against your entrance.
your eyes burst open in shock at the feeling “wait, wait, wait, da-DADDY! Oh fuck!” you practically screamed as rafe bottomed out in your pussy with a single thrust. essentially, popping your cherry. his hand is quick to cover your mouth as he glares down at you from above. his sanity is long gone by now, the crazed look on his face scaring you into submission.
“shut the fuck up. i-i’m done playing games now. your gonna’ shut your pretty little mouth and-and daddy’s gonna’ fuck your cunt until he cums deep inside you, okay?” you didn’t respond seeming as his hand was covering your mouth.
he lifted his palm from your mouth before quickly striking you across the face, you cried out as your skin began to fluster due to the impact of his hit. he swiftly gripped your jaw making you look him in the eyes once more “you-you fuckin’ answer me when i’m talkin’ to you. you nod your fuckin’ head when daddy asks you a question.” this time you were quick to nod your head, tears streaming down your cheeks as you sobbed a “y-yes daddy.”
if anything they just seemed to turn rafe on even more. “good… good girl.” he groaned before pummelling his cock further into your cunt, he began thrusting at a rapid pace, fucking you so hard the headboard began to bash against the wall. your screams of pleasure probably being heard for miles. “ohhhh shit, you see that, you fuckin’ slut?” he pointed your face towards where your cunt and his cock connected, a pool of pink cream surrounding the base of his cock, a mixture of blood and cum. you were too far gone to talk at this point, moans and whimpers spilling out of your lips as you simply nodded your head, your eyes rolling back.
“fuck i can’t believe you tried to hide this shit from me, tried to hide how much of a greedy fuckin’ cock slut you are. it’s okay though baby, daddy loves when you turn into a desperate little whore. gonna’ have you writhing on this fat cock every day of the week from now on.”
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#unprecedented emotions in this body o mine. like. this may b surprising given the amount of bitching i do on this website#but let me assure u irl i am exceptionally patient. but right now. there is a limit and that is where we now stand#and again this is prob my fault but ive come to the conclusion that fuck these custom chambers. fuck the amount of work that went into them#fuck all of this. im not fucking using them. i will sit here with this one fucking bryophite chamber if it takes me all goddam day bc at#least i fucking trust the values. that means ill have to split up measurements by 2 days but fuck u im right abt this#the solution is: u cant fucking do 98 samples at once. that it. im sorry. fuck u#and i would probably have come to this conclusion earlier if i had thr time to test but doing it all rught now with no fucking room for#grace makes it very fucking clear. so idk. im not fucking using the chambers. and im not looking forward to explaining this to my boss#bc shes so excited abt this project that i have been dreading since its conception. i started with the 3 chambers and it was somehow#even more awful than i would have imagined. fuck that. 2 or 3 fucking weeks of this#and im not even getting paid for all the extra work i do bc i don't get overtime. im not even technically allowed to work weekends or over#40hrs a week. im just doinf this bc im already so miserable why thr fuck not.#hhhhh im being such a brat abt this for real. ugh but i dont wanna meet with my boss#bc this feels like the time where i have to explain that like. listen. u know that thing im really good at and have spent fucking hour and#hours and hours and hours of time doing? well its catastrophically destructive to my brain and thats whats landed us here#where im so fucking fed up that i wanna quit. clean cut and never work with this stuff ever again#and if i have to use the 3 chambers i might die. i might just evaporate away into a million pieces bc i dont wanna deal with this#but i dont wanna explain that bc then shell feel bad and this isnt her fault. i have an issue thats out of my control and im letting it#devour me whole so like 🤷‍♂️ its my fault bleh#whatever. itll be fine. ive got a coherent argument as to why this is too much. and i kno im fucking right so there it is#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening#and there it is. it either u can fix it or u cant. thats it. u deal with the things in ur control#lol at least im not alone to stew in my anger. im working with 2 other ppl today. so i mean i say that im fucking furious bc im visual fine#lol bc im a patient and level headed person irl im just really whiney online bc i have no outlet. so itll b fine. decision made now we just#deal with it. ugh but how tf am i gonna distract myself from how miserable this is all day? thats the real question#brain gets Interrupted ever 5 min bleh agony#unrelated
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slttygeto · 9 months
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THINK I FORGOT, HOW TO BE HAPPY.
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⤷ what was I made for? | something i’m made for
જ⁀➴ synopsis: after hanging out with Suguru's friends, you head home and can't wait to bury it down like you always do. But when your boyfriend insists on knowing what upset you, the night takes a turn for the worst.
જ⁀➴ word count: 2,8k
જ⁀➴ content warning: fem!reader, hurt/no comofrt, angst, fights, suguru is a little mean and says mean shit but reader isn’t any better.
જ⁀➴ note: sorry for the long wait, i'm struggling to work on many things at once. but a huge thank you for showing the first part so much love! it was truly unexpected.
ʚ⁺˖ ⤷ tag list: @error404-tryagain @fiannee @anarosextodo @ayeputita (couldn't tag everyone for some reason, my bad!)
⤷ comments and reblogs are much appreciated!
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Suguru remembers when he first fell in love with you, how his face felt warm when you wrapped your arms around him and told him to have a safe trip, the little bag of goodies you had prepared for him sitting atop of his suitcase. He remembers pulling you into a deep kiss in the middle of a crowded airport, and he wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, has never been—but something about you caring for him, preparing food for his flight and showing up as he was about to board made his heart leap out of his chest.
Your first I love you to each other was shared when you realized you couldn’t handle being away from each other for longer than a day. You move in together shortly after he returns from his travel.
You don’t remember when you started to feel out of place, but it makes its way up and towards the back of your head like a parasite—your emotions were always too much for anyone to handle. You recently had a breakdown over messing up at work, and you’ve never seen Suguru look more lost than when he tried to comfort you. His eyebrows are furrowed in concern, he looks defeated when you refuse to let him touch or hug you. You were a mess, and he couldn’t do anything about it.
When you do calm down and are finally able to breathe properly, your brain flashes you little moments from your breakdown like a flashback—almost as though to shame and embarrass you for the way you behaved, all while your perfect boyfriend looks defeated at your lack of cooperation. You’re not sure if it is true, you hope that it’s not—but you see Suguru sit at the edge of the bed and bury his face in his hands and he curses under his breath. He looks tired.
It’s because of me.
When Suguru notices that your breakdowns become less frequent, he is convinced that you are slowly working towards getting better, praises and showers you with compliments. This is the Suguru you always want to see, full of life and love and not the one you saw that night.
And so you decide that from now on, Suguru wasn’t made to see you at your lowest.
--
Dinner ends an hour later and you almost run out of the restaurant and towards the car. Suguru is quick to join you, and from the corner of your eyes, you see Gojo standing near his car and his eyes are staring into your soul. You were grateful that he didn’t tell your boyfriend about the bathroom incident. You confided in the male at such a vulnerable moment and you would’ve been pretty upset if he went against your wishes.
You’re as quiet as ever as Suguru starts the car and drives away. You’re mindful of the way you sit not to face Suguru, and decide on letting him pick the songs to play on the way back. And your boyfriend doesn’t seem to notice the way you’re avoiding him like the plague, after all this wasn’t the first time you were eerily quiet on the way back home. But you were wrong.
Suguru watches you as you walk inside your shared apartment and remove your shoes. You’re not wearing any specific expression indicating that you might be upset. After all, you did have a habit of frowning as a resting face. But it feels different as you quietly greet your cat with a head pat, choosing to head to the kitchen first since you knew Suguru would go to the bathroom for a quick shower.
You were avoiding him.
“Did I do something?” Your boyfriend watches as you halt your movements, the glass of water in your hand long forgotten as you stare at him wide eyed, like a deer caught in headlights.
“Huh?”
“You’re avoiding me, did something happen?” Suguru tries to remember the night you spent outside. He has no clear memory of saying or doing something that you might’ve tipped you over the edge, so what was wrong? You were never this quiet.
“I’m fine, Sugu. You didn’t do anything.” The smile you flash him does anything but reassure him. You ignore the frown that sits on his face and you turn around, your back facing him as you try to busy yourself with something—anything, but facing the man you called your boyfriend.
“Then why are you acting so distant?” So he was able to pick up on it. You hoped that he wouldn’t be able to, maybe breaking up with him would be much easier that way. You are quiet as ever as you turn around and walk toward the fridge.
You were distant because Suguru wasn’t supposed to see you like this, he wasn’t supposed to know how much of an insecure mess you were when he was around, how you were desperately trying to get him to fall out of love. You can barely say I love you to him without feeling guilty about it. Did you truly deserve his love? It felt like he was wasting his time on someone as miserable as you.
“I am not distant, just tired.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, you were tired. You wanted to sleep so badly, wanted to drown the lingering thoughts of never feeling enough as Suguru’s girlfriend, but feeling whole and complete when you are yourself outside of your relationship. This was a you problem, and dragging Suguru down with you felt a little unfair.
“You were crying in the restaurant.” Your heart stills at this. “But you lied and said you were fine.”
“Did Satoru—“
“Satoru doesn’t know you better than I do.” His tone is sharp, and you’re taken aback by the harsh way he chooses to address you. Was this about to escalate into something else? You didn’t want it to, you didn’t have the energy to fight back and tell him to choose his tone carefully. You might’ve been the easy-going, kind girlfriend—but you weren’t going to tolerate disrespect from his part.
“You’re right, he doesn’t.” You sound almost defeated, and you put your glass in the sink before wiping your hands on the towel. Suguru stands near the kitchen island, and watches you with cat-like eyes. You were barely looking his way, the dark circles under your eyes prominent despite your effort at covering them up with make-up. When did Suguru start paying less attention to you? Or did you simply never allow him to see you like this, vulnerable and exhausted. His heart aches in his chest.
“So you won’t tell me?” You’re about to walk away when he decides to speak, and you heave out a long sigh when you realize that the night was taking a turn for the worst.
“Tell you what?” You mumble under your breath, and you refuse to meet Suguru’s cold eyes. You can feel them on your skin, they’re intense and trying to read you like a book. Perhaps if you don’t look his way, his stare would feel less intimidating.
“Would you please just stop?” Suguru rests his elbows on his the surface of the kitchen island, burying his face in his hands. “I’m really trying to figure out what’s wrong, and you’re not helping.”
“Maybe because I don’t want to tell you what’s wrong.” Your response comes out almost immediately, and the frustration you’ve been suppressing all night suddenly resurfaces. Months of trying to play it cool, sweeping your insecurities under the rug and hoping that a kiss from Suguru would fix all of your problems, it was all piling up into this huge bubble. And the more persistent your boyfriend was, the harder it was to stay quiet.
“What do you mean you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?” Suguru’s voice is a little bit louder, and he’s almost in disbelief at your words. You were dating, you slept on the same bed, ate on the same table and cuddled on the same couch. You weren’t a girl he started dating last month, or a person he was testing out the waters with—you weren’t even a potential lifetime partner, but he was almost certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.
“Because it’s useless to whine to you about shit you don’t need to know. My problems are mine, you don’t have to fix me.” You feel yourself shake a little the more you speak, your heart is beating fast at the realization that this was a conflict—you were creating a conflict and it felt suffocating.
“Fix you—who said I have to fix you?”
“Right, no one did—Suguru, just drop it. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But I do.” His tone is sharp, and his hands are curled up in fists. His eyes are staring you down the same way he looks at strangers—threatening, cold and mean. You find yourself tearing up and it makes you feel stupid. You started this, you’re the one who doesn’t feel enough in the relationship—you’re the one being mean, and yet a single look from Suguru has you almost bursting into tears? Pathetic. You felt pathetic and weak, and the longer your boyfriend stared at you, the harder it was to maintain a normal breathing pattern.
“Suguru, I don’t want to talk about it.” You try again, and you hope that your voice doesn’t betray and breaks. Tonight has been exhausting enough, and the thought of having to speak up what has been on your mind for months now makes your chest feel incredibly tight.
“You’re being selfish.”
Selfish? You were being selfish?
You stare at Suguru in disbelief and he immediately realizes how badly he must’ve fucked up because the tears start falling down your cheeks almost instantly. You, who has been pushing her feelings to the side for the sake of his happiness, were selfish? You, who can’t even remember the last time you were truly happy about something, were selfish? This is bullshit.
“I’m selfish?” Your chin quivers pathetically, and Suguru is quick to reach a hand towards you to hold you, but you flinch away from his hold, arms wrapped you to give yourself the comfort Suguru wanted to give you.
“I am selfish, me?!” Your voice is getting louder, but you didn’t care. All the frustration, all the sadness and insecurities were all coming up to the surface because of one single comment.
“Baby, I didn’t—“
“Don’t call me that, don’t you fucking dare touch me!” You move away when he attempts to hold you. “I’m selfish because I don’t wanna tell my perfect boyfriend with his perfect personality about my shitty problems. That’s just fucking great, isn’t it?”
The last time Suguru saw you like this was months ago and he doesn’t even realize it until now. All those times where you would brush off something that would normally set you off, give him a tight lipped smile and tell him not to worry.
“Your problems aren’t shitty, you don’t even want to talk about them!”
“Because every time I tried, it felt like I was robbing you of your fucking happiness, Suguru!” Your voice is loud. “Every time I realized that my mood was ruined, I could only think of how you must be fed up with me.”
“But I’m not? I never even said that I was fed up!” Suguru’s body language completely changes, and suddenly he’s not even trying to comfort you. More so understand where all of this was coming from.
“Your face says it all and fuck--” You groan into your face, your cheeks flushed from frustration.
“Oh so now it’s my face?” You raise your head to stare at him. “One moment you’re saying it’s how I behave, but now it’s all in my face?”
“You’re missing the whole point, Suguru—“
“No, I’m not missing anything! You are the one who created this situation, you’re the one who decided to pull away!” Each word feels like a knife being stabbed into your heart. You stare at the man who usually gives you warm, sweet smiles and all of that is replaced with a cold angry look.
“Suguru—“
“Selfish. Yeah, actually I don’t take it back. You are selfish,”
“Stop.” your lips quivers.
“Because if you actually wanted this to work out, you would tell me what’s wrong instead of finding excuses.”
“You’re being mean, Sugu.”  
Your boyfriend groans out of frustration and leans against the kitchen counter. You stand still next to the fridge, tears streaming down your face. You try to stop and wipe them away, but it feels as though you really needed this more than anything.
“I want to take a break.” You say quietly and Suguru’s head snaps up almost immediately.
“What?”
“I want to take a break from this—from you, I don’t think I can do it anymore.”
Instead of giving you a proper reply, Suguru storms out of the kitchen and grabs his jacket and car keys and is out of the house in less than a minute. You are frozen in your spot as you let the words you just uttered out loud sink in, and there’s a sense of guilt. You are pulling away from your relationship, you’re willingly taking a break and not looking back, but does it matter anymore?
This was by far your biggest fight with your boyfriend, and the way he stormed out at the mention of taking a break makes you want to crawl in a hole and die. But not anymore.
You can’t even remember the last time you were happy, and for it to go on for so long was so draining and tiring. You could barely recognize yourself anymore. Your feet take you towards your shared bedroom with Suguru and you start packing some of your stuff. Whether he agrees to the break or not is not important, because you were doing this for yourself. And if Suguru truly cared about you, he would let you do what is best for you.
--
Suguru didn’t know where he was going, he just wanted to get away from you and as soon as possible. The roads are empty, and he isn’t driving recklessly. In fact, he’s probably driving so slowly that it would look suspicious to anyone on the outside.
He parks the car on the side of the road and rests his forehead on the steering wheel. When did it turn into this? When did he become so absorbed in his personal life that he stopped including you or care for you? Suguru doesn’t want to blame himself, but it’s a little difficult. He thought he was living this picture perfect life with you, under one roof with a single pet and future plans ahead of you. But to fuck up this badly and call you selfish simply because you were struggling on your own was horrible.
And to make things worse, he stormed out of the house and left you there all alone. He groans into his hands.
“Fuck.” He wants to fix this. He doesn’t want a break, he doesn’t think that it’s necessary. But you looked serious about it, maybe he could talk you out of it.
He grabs his phone and dials your number, and when it takes a while for you to pick up he just knows that you must’ve been contemplating whether or not you wanted to take the call. Eventually, you do answer.
“I’m sorry,” the line on your side is quiet, so he continues. “I fucked up, I don’t think I should’ve said what I said and—“
“It’s not your fault.” Your nose is stuffed, but Suguru can tell from the tone of your voice that you were tired. “But I need some space, Suguru.”
Some space… So you were considering the break.
“We can work it out, we don’t have to take a break or anything, we can go on a date tomorrow morning and—“
“I called a cab, I’m going back to my place.” You cut him off, and Suguru hears you lock the door to his apartment. “I’m doing this for myself and for us,” Suguru closes his eyes when he realizes that there was truly no hope in talking you out of it.
“Okay… can I still text you?”
“No,” you reply quietly. “I don’t wanna think about you for a while.” He tries not to feel hurt but it’s difficult.
“I understand.” The line goes quiet for a while, and Suguru hears a few sniffles from your side and sighs.
“We’ll be okay, yeah?”
“Yeah,” You wipe a few tears. “I have to go now.”
“I love you.” Suguru waits for a response, and when you take too long to answer, his chest tightens a little.
“Take care, Sugu.”
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