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valeriehalla · 2 months

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Hello! I was reminded of your webcomic Goodbye To Halos recently and wanted to let you know it had a pretty big impact on me. I read it during my teenage years and I think it really helped me to contextualize and make sense of some feelings I was going through about - well, teenage stuff. Change, I guess, mostly. Changing bodies, changing genders, changing role in society, changing relationships with others - your comic helped me process a lot of my fears about those things.

Your comic was probably my first exposure to nudity that was neither sexual nor comedic. It really stuck with me how your comic has characters in states of undress fairly casually. Not like "walking down the street" casual, they're always in a safe place like a bedroom or a bathroom or something, but still. As someone who was raised Catholic it was really powerful to see nudity portrayed as so... not-shameful. Nudity is just a state the characters pass in and out of; they're nude after taking off their clothes like they would be wet after taking a shower. There's no shame in it. And that's really the way it ought to be, right? We were all born nude, it shouldn't be such a Thing as society makes it out to be.

That's just my little input on what impact your art has had on me. It was a good thing that I read it when I did. I wish you luck on all your future endeavors.

that's extremely kind of you, and very well-said, and thank you, and also that's absolutely wild for me to read.

i actually had to remind myself just now that there was in fact a sequence of (counting) eight pages where enae had her tits out. i didn't think a ton about it at the time. i do remember debating mentally whether to slap a "warning this page has boobs in it" label on the social media posts: i chafed at the idea, and i think i didn't do it? or only did it for some of them? i didn't want to because to even put such a warning immediately prompts the reader to think "oh something Sexualle is going on here," putting them on high alert and making it into a whole Thing. and it was not a Thing.

i always thought that some day, if ever i found the right moment, i wanted to have a page where fenic was fully nude. my idea of the "right moment" for that was that it would have to be at a juncture in the story where it made sense for her to be nude, and also where it would feel to the reader like there was absolutely no "point" to her nudity. the one page in the comic where fenic is topless was sort of a prelude to that idea: that might have been the moment, if there had been any reason at all to include her lower body in those panels, which there wasn't, so i didn't.

it's a fine line to walk. i think it's fairly obvious that there were many panels in that comic where the reader absolutely was meant to think "wow this character's attractive" (if they could get past my art back then lmao). i peppered those in liberally, sometimes because it was personally fun for me to draw, but always because it just seemed, i don't know, honest? for this story about young queer adults who are sort of omnidirectionally horny for one another to have a gaze reflecting that--for the reader to feel like they're "in on it" too, not in a leering sort of way, but as if they're just, like, sharing in it with the characters themselves. but then to have that, and then to also have full-on nudity, and for that nudity to feel at home with that sensation, but also purely incidental, and not in and of itself sexual, is a lot of objects to juggle, especially if one indeed (like me) wants it to not feel like there is a "Point" being made. so, it's cool to hear that it worked for at least one person. sorry for writing 999 words about this

#text #ask

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weebsinstash · 1 year

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so with a platonic yandere (or yanderes) how does it work, do you just never get the chance to have a romantic relationship, do they force/encourage you into one with someone 'approved' like a family friend or someone 'in the know' sort of thing, or do their feelings change or border on the romantic side as well?

Well, I find for me personally it often depends on the character themselves for like, what kind of relationship im looking for, or, yeah sometimes i just switch it up based on concept, sometimes i get a real specific idea that stays in my brain and I can go back and forth depending on, I guess, preference. It's kind of a recent-ish development for me to think of platonic yandere AT ALL since like 99% of the time my brain goes "well if they don't love you romantically or want to fuck you what is THE POINT"

And it kind of took me a while to realize that sometimes "the point" of platonic yandere can be that they technically "don't get anything back". If they scoop you up and force therapy on you, it's because they want to legitimately help you, not to say a romantic/sexual yandere wouldn't, but for a platonic one it's more I guess "selfless" because they aren't like, getting a spouse or a fuck buddy out of it. With a platonic yandere, they don't want you to hook up with that guy because, yeah they're jealous you're not spending time with THEM but its like, spending time watching movies or going to the park or playing video games, spending time with you as you, doing potentially anything, but also they have you up on this pedestal and the guy is just an insignificant little worm to them. He thinks he can date THEIR sister? Creep creep go to jail eat dirt go six feet under here's a shovel start digging

I can be so moody and contextual about the whole thing, like for example, I've been making a lotta posts about a purely platonic yandere Batfamily with Bruce as you know the patriarch and all that, basically becoming a father figure to you even if you're already an adult, where he is like emphatically "no, Reader is your sibling, S I B L I N G" and getting out the batbottle and spraying them like cats any time he may notice anyone in his house catching feelings for you, but i also thought about, (this is kind of an AFAB specific idea sorry) what if Damian specifically developed one of those weird "big sister when i grow up im gonna marry you" complexes and Bruce is NOT having it when suddenly Damian hits him with "but FATHER, if I'M Reader's husband when I come of age, then our offspring will be YOUR biological grandchildren" and Bruce finds himself sitting there suddenly vividly picturing you holding a fat little newborn with a big head of black hair and smiling up at him "dad come hold your grandson 🥰" and he's. He's gone, like, suddenly he can't see it any other way. OBVIOUSLY Damian is the perfect husband for you, Bruce is helping raise him? Who would make a better spouse for his adopted daughter than his ACTUAL son? Talk about keeping it in the family

In his eyes, his son would make a more than competent husband once he comes of age, especially considering not only is Damian his son but, extremely similar to Bruce himself; broody angsty genius with superhuman skills, intelligence, athleticism, etc. And if not Damian, isn't Dick lowkey his favorite child, and also, you know. Already an adult and not nearly as emotionally constipated 😅 Bruce can trust either one of them to take care of you, building off of a paranoia that any place outside his family and his home is fraught with danger and anyone who hasn't been explicitly vetted by him suddenly cannot be trusted in your presence

I keep finding myself drifting back to platonic yandere but only in like, almost extremely specific circumstances, like for real those age regression ideas i realized are coming from like DEEP places of trauma and rejection for me and feeling like I'm so permanantly damaged i literally need a do over and need to be all but remade from scratch, being helped when i was younger and at my lowest points in childhood, and I'll admit I've noticed most of these platonic yandere ideas usually revolves around aspects of family, fatherhood, childhood, etc. Like literally right off the top of my head, two characters who kind of got the platonic yan ball rolling were Stolas from Helluva Boss and Nolan Grayson from Invincible, both of them fathers. Of course I would absolutely let Nolan tear this ass up too though as you guys have seen, like i find the Viltrumite Reader concepts kind of keep fluctuating between "he wants to mentor you and then catches feelings" to "no he just wants to be your dad and Viltrum mentor and after your real family dies during some kind of monster attack he just straight up adopts you and moves you into his house and the government lets him bc, i mean, they need to keep an eye on you as a Viltrumite"

Of course I also like the idea of sort of a middle ground. You know, like, the yandere begins purely platonic without any sort of intentions but it develops into something deeper after they've already come to know you and you trust them, or even, they're actually totally 100% "a normal person" and something happens to you or them where they suddenly become yandere. Like imagine you know someone for like a couple years and then all of a sudden, they're acting differently. So I've also thought about, Bruce and Reader are work friends in the Justice League and his feelings begin as purely protective and platonic and he knows you for a decent chunk of time but when he starts getting to know you more personally, more details about you the person under the costume, maybe he eventually realizes he's getting extremely jealous watching you interact with other men and, maybe in the process of taking care of you his feelings change. You get wounded on the job and you don't have any family to help provide any care while you're still extremely weak and recovering and he's helping you and that's when he suddenly realizes "oh shit this line of work is so dangerous, he doesn't want you to die, he doesn't want anyone to die but like you most specifically, he doesnt want you doing this anymore" and maybe he brings you to the manor for recovery and you never wind up leaving

But typically yes, as you suggested, usually when I've picked a character to be a platonic yandere it's because I can see them being overly protective to the point they won't let you date at all, even if the specific reasons for WHY may change. Like hypothetically for some of the ideas I've had, Stolas doesn't want you to date or have sex period because he's kind of Goin Through Some Shit and this is kind of like his second go around of being a dad and him expressing some sort of trauma or guilt over Octavia and he sees you as His Extra Special Little Girl and you don't get so much as a kiss on the cheek with another person until like, he's had enough years with you to be satisfied with "your childhood" kwim. Or a yandere who declares themselves as your sibling not completely against you dating or all that but they just have EXTREMELY high standards. like lmao imagine, like, someone like Deku basically inserting himself in your life as your brother and you're like "ok fuck dude, who do you think WOULD be worthy of dating me" and he's just like "I guess someone like All Might!" Like bro that platonic obsessive little twink is NEVER letting you get laid, you suck off ONE dick and he's holing up in his room CRYING because "someone's defiled his baby sister and made her dirty" not in the sense that he like doesn't like you anymore or he's judging YOU but in his mind your "purity" has been tainted by someone else and the only solution is to like, kill/get rid of that person and "atone" by never letting it happen again, cause obviously by letting you suck that guy off Izuku FAILED YOU, and maybe at some point he snaps and you wake up from one of your mandatory sibling cuddle sessions and he's pressed way too closely to you as he declares he's the only one worthy of you and he's sorry he didn't realize HE'S the husband you needed

Really I'm just a creepy little freak and it can depend on how I'm needing or craving to feel accepted in that particular moment in time 😅

#GOD am i on this batman justice league shit so hard #i grew up with shows like teen titans and spiderman and jla #like god if yall follow my main blog weve been discussing how i probably have a cluster b personality disorder #and ive felt. so extremelt sad and broken. bc those can form from early childhood trauma #so lmao i keeo finding mysekf drift8ng back to thise age regression ideas where. i get fixed #i either get the care i needed as a kid or i get completely reset back to before anything ever happened #and raised in you know. a questionably psychotic protective little bubble #i have issues and apparently i will always have issues lmaoooi #yandere stuff #sinprompts

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whenthechickencry · 3 months

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Umineko EP8 Tea Party, ??? and End

Featherine is writing and starts talking about when is an appropriate time to finish a tale, remarking that this kind of tale should probably be left in a cat box. Bernkastel is sewing Lambdadelta back up in very sexually charged language, Erika comes to the room, Bernkastel reveals Dlanor is still in touch with her, LambdaBern flirt some more and Erika gets jealous.

Gertrude has earned a promotion, Cornelia is learning martial arts. Will is.... a landlord who plays Badmington with Lion. Dlanor is still hard at work. Lambdadelta and Bernkastel promise to see each other when something else cries.

I think I mentioned it before, but one of my goals for this replay was to have a deeper appreciation for Bern and Lambda. I played the game originally as my first WTC game so I was constantly like, "Well that's definitely hinting at something I don't get". On replay, I appreciate them a lot more and I think reading their lines also gives you a lot of understanding towards other characters, as well.... a lot of scenes are even further contextualized by GouSotsu. If you don't have the context for Higurashi it is very easy to villainize Bernkastel a lot and not understand her as anything more than evil, which I think is a disservice for any Umineko character. I also appreciate Erika a lot more, she feels kind of like a tertiary main character of the answer arcs haha, I mentioned it a lot but I really do pity her a lot and I do kind of hope for better for her anyway. Meanwhile....

Sakutarou is now famous, and also Ange I guess. Or Kotobuki Yukari. Ange is spending her life writing books, hoping to help more children find magic and happiness. Then the name Hachijo Tohya gets brought up... Ange remembers how Hachijo's refusal to reveal the truth ultimately led to the Rokkenjima Mystery to die down, and thanks her. Ange agrees to meet with Hachijo and it is revealed that Hachijo is 2 people.

Ange doesn't really know how to deal with the reveal Battler is "Alive", other than shock. Happy he's alive though. She mentions how if it happened at another time, she would probably be pissed he hadn't shown himself up earlier, but right now she's just happy the miracle happened. Battler confirms what we saw at the very end of ep8, and Ange seems to blame herself for the reunion taking so long, due to her changing her name. But then she thinks about how she did try to meet with Hachijo once and was denied, but then instead of blaming anyone decides to just thank God for the miracle. I am so happy to see Ange so.... at peace. But Hachijo and Tohya reveal that they were perfectly capable of meeting her before, which throws her for a loop, and starts getting actually angry. Tohya explains how he has Battler's memories, but isn't Battler.

I forgot Tohya tried to kill himself, damn, considering Sayo's own issues with identity I can imagine writing the forgeries also helped him cope with his own fragmented identity....

Those tears are so pained... I want to cry. Ange accepts that Battler is both dead and came back to her, and is doing her best to hold herself together for Tohya.

I am a little relieved it is an entirely different Gospel House, the original was kind of fucked up, but this is a house for children to learn of magic. Ange reveals that not only is this a replica of the Ushiromiya Mansion hall, but it's the same as EP8's Halloween party... certainly showing the Battler inside Tohya that he can rest easy with everyone else now.

Battler is back home, Ange and Tohya can keep living in the future with no regrets.

Man, I really don't know what to say. I have already said so much but it still feels like I have so much to learn from Umineko. Umineko and Higurashi have meant so much to me across the years and I am so glad my replay led to me loving this experience more than I did. I hope one day I can revisit the game in Japanese, I am on classes and I want to come back once I am good enough to read this. That's uh, very far in the future though. I still have a lot to say and I will make more posts about my general thoughts once I finish reading all the side content. For now, I will say this replay made me appreciate a lot more how carefully handled the mystery was, and how it made me appreciate the answer arc in a lot of new ways.... first time I thought ep5-6 were one of the weaker arcs and now I think they are among the strongest. It's kind of funny though, I don't really feel the finality I feel when ending a lot of games. I still have so much more to learn about the world of Umineko and When They Cry, so finishing a game doesn't feel like an ending but just a step toward understanding more. This blog has mostly just been a tool for me to force myself to think a bit deeper into scenes than usual, via forcing myself to write down my thoughts. It's a little embarrassing but it has been a fun thing to do. I will probably keep doing it in the future, and I hope doing this will help me improve myself if only a little bit.

#umineko #umiepisode8 #umiepisode8teaparty #umiepisode8???

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ms-all-sunday · 4 months

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Sanji didn't mind being out for watch during the nighttime- he usually got early night shifts so he could get enough sleep in the morning before preparing everyone's breakfast, usually for that time at least the Marimo was awake and then he'd have some amount of company, but for tonight he was all alone. Smoking as a blanket laid haphazardly over his body and a pillow behind his back.

The cool air of night hung around him in the crows nest and for a brief moment the merry- a ship with a notoriously loud crew even by Sanjis standards, was slient.

Only for a moment.

"Cook. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Robin?"

She poked her head above the entrance to the latter, just enough that you could see her eyes from under her bangs and the top of the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry. Did I come at a bad time?"

"No! I'm just surprised. It's cold and you don't usually stay up this late."

"Hm. Well. I'm up here now. You wouldn't mind company?"

He looked suspiciously at her. "... I wouldn't."

Robin is wearing a coat over her nightgown, which makes her look a bit less ghostly than usual. Would Sanji have to share his blankets? Yes. And he doesn't mind, he runs hot anyways. The only thing he regrets is not getting another pillow as Robin settles down across from him, the blanket covering all of the floor of the crows nest.

"I admit that this conversation isn't totally on a whim, I wanted to ask you something before we next to the next island."

The shipbuilding island.

He nods. "Anything for you."

"No, that's exactly it. Why don't you flirt with me like you do a lot of other women? I'm not complaining.

Well. Hm, that isn't exactly the whole truth is it? It's more complicated than that.

Regardless, you don't seem like you expect anything romantic from me or have romantic feels for me at all, I'm curious about that. You're so committed, I never thought your dedication would waver in this respect."

Sanji looked surprised and took a drag of his cigarette.

"Okayyy, for one, I do have a crush on you."

"Then why-"

"I'm insulted that you would think I didn't."

"Yes. Okay. Sorry. Regardless, that only makes the question more interesting."

"I don't seem like I have romantic feelings for you, I would guess, because... Uh."

Why does he do that? Why put a thin veil over being attracted to Robin and nobody else?

"You're smart and funny and it'd be a shame to limit myself when talking to you."

"Nami is smart and funny."

Sanji laughs and Robin smiles.

"Nami is different you know that. I mean that I don't have any chance with you, so thinking about our relationship from a romantic angle is... Unhelpful? Even though I have a crush on you doesn't mean I think flirting regardless of anything is appropriate. I have to know when to apply it to a conversation. It's like a seasoning. Plus, there's more to admire if I don't limit myself to flirting with you. Being friends is better on all accounts."

"Friends where one of them is in love with the other. Understandable. I honestly thought any romantic... vibes? I got where just apart of the rouse that you do."

He sputters. "It's not an act! Not fake-"

"Yes. I've mentioned your interactions with Nami once in this conversation already, do you want me to cite my sources beyond that or do we just want to leave it at that? Sorry, maybe it would be better to call it an excuse with her-"

"It's kind of a rouse, fine, contextually! It wasn't a rouse with you. I'm legitimately in love with you. It's kind of fucking hard not to be."

"Oh? How so?"

"Why is it, that when I tell the women I have crushes on that I'm in love with them, they don't believe me?"

She smirks. "You have a type, clearly."

Sanji takes a deep breath. "You're elegant, your voice calms me down, you're funny, you're unbelievably strong, you're insightful, you help me even though I don't ask for it, you know things about me that nobody else does and for once in my fucking lifetime I'm actually okay with none of my defences working against another person in the same way I am with Luffy. But he's him. And you're you. Different."

If the lighting was better, Sanji could see Nico Robin blush.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure. You believe me now?"

"I do. Somehow I thought it would be more surface level than that."

"People have been telling me I give off that vibe recently. I've gotta fucking change that."

...

"I want to sit next to you."

"Sure."

Sanji moves to sit next to Robin. She remains taller than him, even sitting down, by the few inches difference between them. She has an indescribable expression on her face, it seems distant. Maybe longing. There are a million words she wants to say and they all die in her throat.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No." She says softly. I did.

"You can lean into me if you want."

She does.

The texture of his dress-shirt was softer than she'd have imagined. She can't cry in front of him- none of this was planned out in her head.

Just get curiosity out of the way. This is the way it has to go- she tells herself. And despite intending it as comfort, the words in her head only twist the knife deeper inside her.

Making her want to cry more.

And so she does, softly, in the exact way Sanji can't see or hear but he can feel. While her mind is elsewhere, she can't realize she's being held.

#modposts #okay. i stand corrected this is a short fic not even close to a drabble #i could post this on ao3 and it would be semi-legitimate #i just wanted to test what i think is a better interpretation of sanji and robins relationship before i committed.#op #one piece #fanfiction #fanfic #nico robin #black leg sanji #water 7 #implied sanami #implied lusan as well

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roydeezed · 1 year

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Dungeon Meshi Thoughts 03

I originally wanted to write something on Dungeon Meshi after reaching chapter 50 or even 45 but so much has happened so fast since my last post that I’m writing this after chapter 36. The last time I wrote about it, I had just finished chapter 28 and was dreading the metaphorical sword of Damocles that was hanging over their heads. I shouldn’t have, because it came crashing down the very next chapter. I’m writing an update to my thoughts now because it’s becoming clear what kind of manga Dungeon Meshi is going to be and the next chapter beyond this also feels like it will be a defining moment. I’m purposefully being vague as I don’t want to spoil anything so more detailed thoughts are below the “Keep reading”.

Okay, the shit hits the fan right away. I had no idea that after so much speculation that things were going to get bad that fast. And I’m glad y'all Dungeon Meshi fans who dm’d about the non-spoilery questions I had in the last post kept it under wraps. I appreciate it and can’t wait to actually talk about this when I’m all caught up. Okay so immediately, the Sorcerer attacks our group and takes back Falin. So here’s my read on the Sorcerer. First of all, while they are currently evil, they also seem to be a tragic figure. I assume that because their life trajectory seems to be as follows: born as a lower class peasant, noticed by the king, becomes the court magician or some such high position, and then in an effort to help out the kingdom (extreme reach of a guess) messes with time magic and freezes the kingdom in time while also going mad.

The king, as a ghoul or specter of the dungeon, finally escapes it to perform the scene at the beginning of the manga and the sorcerer, who has gone mad and used to be extremely devoted to the king, refuses to believe the king is dead. Hence why they were searching for the king. Okay, that’s my reach of a guess but I’ll be happy if any of that is true.

I really love how the dragon was tied back to the Sorcerer, in a way it cements them as the antagonist from the get. And I mainly think their struggle that led them to turn evil has to do with losing their own morality and sanity because that is exactly what is happening with our heroes. Slowly, one by one, they’re all becoming desensitized and accepting of things they never would. Senshi lets Laios heal him with magic without any complaints in regards to the magic, Chilchuck protests less and less against dark magic as time goes on, and Marcille becomes the first to dawn the frog skin. Marcille and Chichuck also barely protest against the dryad pumpkins before giving in. Laios… … … nope, nothing to say about him, this man happily leaps across boundaries. But to get back to the point of desensitization, in a way it’s a very jaded way of looking at coming of age stories and growing up. Our heroes journey mirrors media like Made In Abyss and Zombie stories where the journey itself takes from them, not just physically but emotionally and morally as well. They have to abandon their boundaries and morals at every step of the way. But the way that this doesn’t devolve into a 100% depress sesh is that they point to the other joys of the journey.

And that’s the discovery and the companionship. There’s something very primally enjoyable about the concept of sitting around a fire, cooking and eating and knowing that next time you do it will be far away. Am I very unsubtly trying to suggest adventure stories play to our primal instincts of being nomadic hunters like our ancestors? Yes. And in this context the sitting around the fire contrasts very heavily with the moments they’re not. And that’s something I’ve noticed. The contrasts. This manga is so beautiful and intelligent in so many ways but the thing that has me losing my mind this post is the way the authour creates a benchmark, a static, and then uses other characters and moments to contrast and contextualize not just the characters but also the world.

As I said in the previous post, this world seems to be different from ours in the way that existing and living in it requires a sense of detachment. But it was quite unclear to me at that point what exactly that meant. But by the introduction of Kabru as a fully fleshed out and thinking character that has an even more detached view of the world, we understand it and our heroes, especially Laios, a lot more. Now that I have some in world context, especially an outsider’s view, it seems our heroes, while they didn’t seem like it, are very much an ideal adventuring party. To start off with, the most out of left field is Senshi, and even then he’s a pretty tried and true adventuring trope of guide well versed with the area that decides to join them. Then we have Chilchuck, who is an extremely skilled thief/rogue that has a high position in the local (thieve’s?) guild. And Marcille and Laios really seal the deal for our party as the chosen ones as Marcille is the most skilled graduate of the magic school who also knows forbidden tricks and Laiso is an extremely skilled and noble knight. They kind of are the chosen ones despite their bumbling natures.

And seeing them as the paragons sheds a light on everything else. In this world charity is looked down upon as Kabru finds Laios suspicious because of that.

The simple aspect of charity being a suspicious act contextualizes this world so much.

And also makes me very interested in Kabru as a character. Maybe I’m wrong but Kabru feels very much like a formidable antagonist. He freezes up against monsters but is really good at killing humans, knowing to aim for carotid arteries and such. This not only brings forth the possibility of Kabru as a potential murderer/evil serial killer, but it also contextualizes Laios as noble as he’s only skilled against monsters. In another instance, Laios mentions how they’re friends with orcs and kabru’s first thought is about killing them, highlighting quite well Laios’s boundary as he sees them more as sentient beings than some of his peers do. The way that Laios thinks about monsters is the way Kabru thinks about humans, painting him as a clear foil to Laios.

But beyond just being a mirror to Laios, Kabru is very interesting. At the heart of it, it does seem like he’s noble but the way he thinks makes me feel like he’s one good push from falling into either good or evil. The way he thought about Laios and Falin giving gold to their injured comrades still sticks with me. He believes that because they are careless with their power and don’t look after things beyond their goals, they are evil. He thinks only his way of thinking is good and any other methods are evil. Simply having different priorities is evil. That’s highlighted by the fact that his party is quick to agree with him and offers little resistance, unlike Laios’s where he was just asked by Chilchuck to head back. I wonder if he will become the final antagonist after the sorcerer, like the scouring of the Shire by Saruman after the defeat of Sauron in the Lord of the Rings. With how reverent it is towards fantasy tropes, it certainly is possible. Kabru feels dangerous to me.

And that also brings us to the other big personalities we’ve passed. Namari and Shuro. We learn about Namari’s backstory and it seems like her motivation has something to do with respect as not only was it very clearly brought up that she couldn’t join back up with Laios because of the hit her reputation would take but that she already has a negative reputation because of her father. Namari also feels very practical but I don’t think she is too concerned about getting her own way in a party. So if Falin and Namari were not the voices of reason in the party then who was? I think it might be Shuro. Again I want to bring up one of the themes of stories like this, and that’s that you either have to abandon your morals or die. And Shuro seems to not want to abandon his morals.And because of this whole honorbound love, it’s driven him to exhaustion. But he also seems strong willed enough that he might have been the voice of reason with their group, alongside Marcille. Without him Laios just overrides her easily. But Shuro’s objections probably always come from decorum and morality as opposed to common sense like with Marcille.

Okay, those were most of the scattered thoughts that I wanted to deal with first, with a lot of thoughts on characterization. Now I want to go over roughly what has happened over the last few chapters and talk about a few things. Right from the get, things once again go wrong for Falin. And right after she’s rescued too. As Marcille later explains she basically recoded Falin so her body became a part of the dungeon. And because of that and fusing with the Red Dragon, it can explain why the Sorcerer was able to find and control her so easily. It also makes me wonder if the thing that’s been changing the shape of the dungeon isn’t so much the Sorcerer but Falin in a desperate bid to save her friends with what little is left of her soul.

Then the sorcerer turns her bottom half into something we later find out resembles a big type of bird thing. Anyways, our heroes fight the Sorcerer and we see a lot of desperation and what kind of toll the dark magic is taking on Marcille as she giggles maniacally while fighting back against the Sorcerer.

They eventually escape but almost all throughout the fight we see these spirits surrounding them and pulling at them. I think the Sorcerer loved the King so much that they massacred all of the subjects and thus that’s why all of them ghouls and spirits try to stop them. And freezing the place in time would also be consistent with this worshiping attitude, the way that the dungeon was underground for a 1000 years and the madness of the Sorcerer.

They narrowly escape and after comparing notes realize they came up against the final boss way too soon. So Chilchuck asks to go back to the surface so that they can get prepared. Once again, the authour demonstrates exceptional control over the characters and the story as this gives us such a deep insight into Chilchuck as well as progressing his character development. Chilchuck has always been somewhat cowardly, at times even comparable with Ussop from One Piece. But here we see a growth of that cowardice. It’s still a key character trait but it’s taken on a very noble light as that worry isn’t about himself but rather his group. It shows how he’s come to care for them and how just like Laios was burdened with their lives so was Chilchuk.

It’s a really sweet moment and shows how character traits are stretched to their limit while being given respectable undertones. Chilchuck’s concern for his friends disguised as outright cowardice mirrors Laios distracting himself with food and adventure to help him cope with his worry for Falin and his companions.

Okay, one little side note before we move on, just a little fun world building tidbit I want to mention. So Chilchuk is 29 but Senshi treats him like a child, but the halfling in Kabru’s party calls him a geezer, so does that mean 29 is old or like midlife for halflings? If so, I love the world building, it would be incredibly realistic for different races to have different lifespans as even on earth there’s a drastic difference in the amount of time dogs and cats live compared to humans compared to tortoises and whales.

Senshi is also insanely relatable as he’s very much a do-er and a carer. He wants to support these new friends that he’s made but the only way he knows how is to cook so he hyperfixates on them.

Honestly each and every one of our main characters gets intensely relatable sometimes. What does it day about me that I relate to these dorks? Nothing flattering I’m sure.

We soon move on to Kabru’s party after some shenanigans with some dryad’s with our party, with Chilchuck, a grown ass halfling man, getting “The Talk”(Plant Edition).

Here we get more insight into Kabru’s party who at this point seem a lot like yes-men. We get insight into Kobolds, who in this world are dog-like creatures with low intelligence. Also if Kabru has been around since Laios first got his start, does he really have a right to be so critical of him? Laios is leaps and bounds more capable than him, what’s Kabru been doing so far?

Through Kabru’s group we learn a lot about our heroes and then jump back to them.

Here in their discussions, as Marccille is teaching Laios and Laios is fondling Senshi, Chilchuk brings up a very good point.

And that’s the fact that Laios needs to become a better leader. Being brought up so frankly shows the trust Chilchuck has in Laios but the fact that it’s being brought up at all is a valid concern. We also learn of Halfling’s history with elves and hear talk of an alternate dimension where magic is drawn from. As so far almost nothing has been said unnecessarily, I think this could be a very important clue towards the secrets of the dungeon.

It’s here where we get the spirits talking to Laios again and it seems like the spirits of the citizens of the kingdom are in some sort of stasis, perhaps between here and the alternate dimension and are in extreme pain.

I fell in love with Laios last time and this time it’s this dork. Just look at her.

She takes so many L’s.

I love her. She distracts a Cokatrice and ends up petrified and used as a pickling press before returning to normal. The groups led by Laios, Shuro, and Kabru all converge and the revelation about dark magic being used occurs. There was a promise of things coming to a head as Falin also looks out over the group so I stopped to write this. Some final thoughts before I finish up here. First of all, I think Kabru has the potential to be evil, but in the future.

From the way he thinks I think he’ll try to pacify Shuro as it seems like Kubru's always wanting to maximize the situations he’s in and he doesn’t want to get hurt in the crossfire. For Shuro I think if he doesn’t attack Laios, then it begins his descent into the same depths as this is the dungeon stripping away at his morals as it’s done with everyone else. The only thing I can feel for Falin is pity, the poor girl has been through enough, she doesn’t deserve to get Nina’d. Someone save her!

All in all though, these last few chapters, even though they were quite dark, further the theme of companionship as being the antidote to spiritual and emotional exhaustion. All through very literal ways of course but it only emphasizes the point. Our heroes have fallen time and time again these past few chapters and it’s only through picking each other up, listening to each other and eating around the same pot do they recover from their scars. See ya’ll again after a few more big story events!

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #manga discussion #manga

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zalrb · 10 months

Text

the summer i turned pretty 2x03 review -- belly is legit terrible, tho.

I'm sorry, he's the best actor on the show?

This should be angsty and painful

The tension between Conrad and Belly should be like

and Conrad should be Chuck where even if his expression is a mask, his eyes tell the real story

and Belly, your expressions are the same, your tone of voice is the same

"Man, Susannah used to have this place filled to the brim before we got here" "Mom used to have the [beds] ready before we got here" WELL YEAH. She got it ready for the summer. Did you all forget that this was an impromptu visit?

"Kick ass or whatever you're supposed to do at these things." "Your guess is as good as mine." Ma'am, aren't you a professional author? This isn't your first rodeo.

Taylor, why do you need to go to Cousins. Why do either of you need to go to Cousins. For drama that won't happen.

Lol at prom I forgot my boyfriend's ... the flower thingy you put in his suit pocket.

OK she wants to have fun at her junior prom which is valid but it's also so clear that my guy doesn't want to be there so her being like "I thought you were going to spend the night" sis, does it LOOK like he wants to spend the night?

Sooooooooo are you going to talk?

for the love of god

can i have some chair energy please?

with their very undramatic, contained version of promicide, which i don't even think is warranted tbh, conrad wasn't great here but his mother is dying, belly.

"conrad just pushes people away when he needs them the most" HE ASKED YOU TO LEAVE WITH HIM AND YOU WERE LIKE BUT PROM! Lol ok.

He told you he was worried about his mom being on new meds and you were like oh pfft, she's probably fine,

which was supposed to be trying to stay positive but comes across as dismissive. You're actually pretty bad at being there for ... anyone it seems, belly.

"i didn't have the best year" the weird/funny thing about tsitp is that they keep mentioning susannah over and over and over again and how different life is without her or how different the house is without her, like they talk about it a lot but it doesn't feel like they've actually lost her, like i don't feel like i'm watching two sons whose mother died, the grief isn't done well enough because belly is over here babbling about how she lost a volleyball captaincy when jeremiah literally lost his mother. and it's like they're saying her pain about susannah is equal to his and conrad's pain and it isn't?

"i really missed you, jere." DID YOU?

oh, how i don't care about taylor and whatshisface. skipping.

like are you frenzied to keep this house or not? because you're fucking surfing, man. like??

"we'll use our trusts to buy this house" is that enough to also pay the mortgage, is it enough for insurance, is it enough for property taxes, is it enough for repairs...? how much is this trust?

I'm just watching them at this funeral and I'm like ... when I had Buffy?

when I had FNL?

I've had conversations about users about appreciating something for what it is or liking something for what it is and I can understand that but when I've something done better, I can't help but contextualize what I'm watching with what I've watched before or what I'm watching at the same time.

You are a literally at a WAKE, Belly, this couldn't wait?

I don't care how old you are you're old enough to know better, this is RIDICULOUS. And I thought Lorelai interrupting Sookie's kid's baptism because Rory was there was horrible.

You are not NEARLY embarrassed and/or ashamed enough about how you acted here.

Oh no, she fell after telling the son of a mother who DIED to go to hell because he was resting his head on another girl's lap.

Nah, I am a grudge person, I am never speaking to her again after pulling THAT at my mother's WAKE? You are dead to me, sis.

Oh, a panic attack on the beach because he bottles everything up and doesn't let anyone help him except he kind of does and everyone knows he's upset anyway because he doesn't try to hide it, which is the thing, he should be constantly acting like everything is normal and/or he's adjusting super well and then do something like break up with Belly out of the blue because he's actually not fine and he actually is shutting her out by pretending everything's fine and does things like go to the beach to have panic attacks.

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wherefore-whinnies · 9 months

Note

4 10 20!!! 💚💚💚

4. what is something you wish was more well known about being arospec?

that it exists and is not a subset of asexuality tyvm. like honestly half the time people talk about like ace headcanons and stuff it feels like they're actually talking about aromanticism. it's so confusing like the distinction has always been really clear to me and I never get why this is a thing with other people. I mean. I guess it's hard to "justify" a character being alloace in fandom if they never talk explicitly about sex I guess so they have to point to stuff that seems more to indicate a lack of interest in romance instead? so maybe I am being overly harsh but it always just makes me go hrrrgh.

10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

literally all of it burn everything down 🤬🤬🤬 I don't really know how to answer the question like maybe examples of amatonormativity that bother me the most? in which case everyone knows how mad I get about fandom culture and ~there's no platonic explanation for this~ etc. etc. etc. pls let people have rich and varied relationships that don't necessarily require romantic or sexual components or have them in non-traditional ways

20. if you fall under one of the arospec umbrella labels, which ones do you use and can you define them for us?

I don't actively label myself because it doesn't feel useful to me, but I do feel a great comfort in knowing that frayrose and lithrose labels exist and I find them very helpful in contextualizing my past experiences with romantic/sexual relationships instead of just sweeping it under the rug like "idk i was straight for some years and then remembered that no, that is stupid" (<- that is a past alear reference it's not stupid for people to be straight). they make things make a lot more sense looking back.

frayromantic means only experiencing romantic attraction to people you don't really know much (basically the inverse of demi), respectively for fraysexual. lithro means losing romantic attraction the instant it's acted on and reciprocated (well, that's one manifestation of it anyway), respectively for lithsexual.

I always kind of found flirting and such to be kind of a game where I win when the other person asks me out except every time the prize turned out to be overwhelming panic, horror, and revulsion. 😰 or I would lose interest upon getting to know the other person better because surprise, they are in fact a person. I don't do person. it's very funny to think back on how in my last relationship I was immediately like "btw I'm going to be very disgusted by this whole thing for the next while. I will try to make it pass asap 👍👍👍" like girl pls... at least that made me realize literally why do I do this now that I am perfectly aware it is a pattern and stop making the mistake of thinking maybe this time it will be different.

(arospec ask game)

#thank you for the ask!!

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faejilly · 1 year

Text

so like five years ago or something, (ugh, time), I started an epistolary fic for @pameluke that I have not updated in, well, several years. (brains! little fuckers are very uncooperative, what can I say?)

It subsequently became the most popular thing I've ever written by several of AO3's potential metrics, which is neat! But... pressure-ish? Regardless, it would be nice to actually, uh. Finish the damn thing someday.

And in the interests of getting the voices in my head to engage with it so I can finish, I am attempting to adapt some public workskins on ao3 into email & texting screens and I will (hopefully) be updating said fic with fun formatting whenever I do actually finish & post the last couple chapters.

BUT!

I have a visual/clarity question re: texts and group chats

Behind the cut for a slew of terrible screenshots! (In various zoom levels, so uh, apologies if you have to click on them to see wtf I'm trying to ask)

perhaps followed by a poll since I apparently have them now?!?

This is roughly what texting looks like currently, (and will still pretty much look if you turn off AO3 workskins and/or download the fic in an ebook format):

Now, the reason it says "Cat" on top, is because that's the contact name in the header of the phone screen, which currently looks like this:

Now, in the original draft Cat didn't say "Magnus" there, because his name was there in the label so I didn't need it. BUT, this is the first phone screen in the fic, so I figured I should include it for clarity.

Contextually, as the fic continues, I assume one will generally be able to tell who is texting whom, but I could, (even tho it would not be as phone-like) put in names so it's clearer:

which is also how I've been managing group-text/chat formats:

But it looks kind of weird when it's just two people talking back and forth. (It's not like my phone puts my name over my own texts, yk?)

Not having all the names might be confusing, but I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE? aesthetic vs clarity? SOMETHINGSOEMTHING?

The only real downside to just putting the names in is that it causes some weird spacing in the download/non-skin version, because the name tags are no longer visible but there is, afaik, no way to fit them in properly without leaving the space for them, if that makes sense:

ALTERNATIVELY, I could change the headers so they're informational rather than a visual part of the phone screen, for example, the first text up there would be something like "Magnus' Phone (texting Cat)" and then the group chats would be, idk, "Alec's Phone, The Hedge" etc. etc.

OR ALTERNATIVELY ALTERNATIVELY... I could do... something else that I haven't thought up yet? I guess? *shrug.emoji*

HELP ME TUMBLR, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE:

*for the options with a star, please do include suggestions as to how to accomplish that nonsense, k? 😅

With like, actual baby-steps, because I do not know what I'm doing. I was literally just trying to copypasta a skin and then I couldn't stop.

Like, sometimes the nametag on the right of the phone screen doesn't work and I haven't figured out why yet. I am having a similar problem with the phone screen headers not resizing on different screens, which is why they're not a contrasting color or bordered or anything at the moment, so you can't tell.

/It's still wrong though, and I know it, even if I can't see it. It's like my phone screen is judging me every time I look at them... 🤣🤣🤣

but regardless. If you've made it to the end of this post, I thank you. And I'm sorry?

Have a cookie: 🍪

#jilly spam #technical support #on the stuff that isn't writing #ao3 & css & graphic design oh my?#all things I know less than nothing about #whoops #iamforyoufic

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starsarefire824 · 1 year

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Heyy!! First of all, I'm sorry for the hate you were getting because of your fic.

Speaking of it, I'm planning to start reading it today. I hadn't read it yet because I was a little reluctant because I see Mike and Max almost like brother and sister so for me to see they as romantic is a big change. However, I'm familiar with your writing and I know you can do a really good job with these characters and contextualizing them into the plot. And of course, I'm am already aware of the fact that there is a romantic dynamic between them at some point.

My ask for you is: how would you explain your fic like in general, as if someone asked you "tell me about this fic", not only the first chapter as you would do as a sinopses but the entire fic? without spoilers of course lol

Again, I'm sorry for the hate you were getting for this fic, liking it or not that doesn't give people the write to harass writers.

Hey there!

It's no worries at this point. I am feeling much more positive about everything. I just have this fear of being labeled or like excommunicated from the byler community because I've written something that doesn't agree with everyone. I love byler, but I also, after being in fandomsfor a long time, like to explore some differing dynamics or throw byler into different scenarios and see where they end up! It makes it more fun when there are long lulls of news and the new season is still so far off. And Madwheeler, even platonically, have been so neglected in canon.

That being said, I'm so excited you might entertain reading! Some people who have been into madwheeler in a strictly platonic sense have decided to keep reading and others have not, and that's okay! But also, others who didn't really see the dynamic being for them at all in the beginning, are now the biggest voices in the comments rooting for Max and Mike haha! So I guess it's all very personal, and I guess I would suggest reading up through chapter 6 or 7, which is where things change from strictly platonic in nature to flirting with the line of sexual attraction and see how you feel? I think if you don't like it by that chapter, then it might not be for you, and if you are still enjoying it, then I say go ahead and continue on reading! Also, the story has some major byler and elumax vibes with some Will and Lucas centric chapters, as well some great interactions with Max and El, Luca and Will, and Dustin and the gang.

As far as as general explanation? Here goes nothin' 😅: It starts off with Max and Mike unanimously voted out of The Party , and we are not privy of what has transpired to make that happen until a little later in the story. I won't say what happens specifically because it's a spoiler, but things are sort of revealed on a non-linear time line. I specifically wrote this fic to explore some poly dynamics between the party as well as explore Max and Mike both as bisexual characters who kind of help each other figure out who they are and what they want. I'm using Max and Mike as holding up mirrors for each other and forcing themselves to look. I was also intrigued by a Twin Flame dynamic: A twin flame isn't necessarily a romantic relationship or "the one" — but they will always change your life.

"Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth. You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently."

And in doing that, in finding each other and forcing each other to face things about themselves that they were trying to ignore, it leads to healing, and they try to help each other heal their relationships with Lucas and El for Max and Will for Mike. Dustin serves as the steady glue holding them all together in their turmoil.

The story is an exploration of sexual repression, specifically regarding Mike, as well as how trauma can have ripple effect on behavior long after it's stopped. Max deals with lost time and how her body has been changed after her coma, and Mike deals with panic disorder.

And in the end, it's really just about an unexpected connection between two people who never wanted to be together in the first place and find that they aren't very different after all. It's got a lot of messy, rash teenager's decisions and the miscommunication/understanding trope is strong. And a lot of the feelings, if not the plot/characters, were based around a personal experience of mine from high school with my best friend.

I hope this helps! And I hope, lol, I've covered most of it.

A link for anyone who's interested.

#anon ask #madwheeler fic #the pact #byler #elumax #stranger things fanfic #thanks for the support #anon

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mettywiththenotes · 1 year

Note

I almost hesitate to bring this up after your post about Tomura/Tenko's contradictory thoughts about Izuku, since I think you made a lot of neat points about how it's a contradiction that can make sense on a psychological level. But that said, I think there is an alternative reading of that scene with Star that actually eliminates any kind of contradiction in the first place. From what I can tell, after Star says that a hero will inevitably come to defeat AFO, you interpret Tenko thinking about Izuku as him thinking that Izuku will be coming to defeat AFO and help him. However, contextually, there's nothing saying he wouldn't think Star is talking to him too, and take it the exact opposite way. That Izuku would be coming to defeat HIM as well. In that moment, the seed of "Tenko" is kind of hidden away, but as we've seen in the latest chapters, Tenko and Tomura aren't truly separate entities, and AFO and Tomura are unfortunately still largely fused as an identity. Tomura also doesn't tend to shy away from the fact that he is a villain and opposing the heroes, so I'm not sure he would immediately assume he would be excluded from the impending defeat. And in that context, it makes perfect sense for Tomura to then be sarcastic about the idea of Izuku asking after him like they're going to have a friendly chat, and as if it even matters if Tomura is still there or not. Because as the kind of hero that Star described, surely Izuku is here to bring down not just AFO, but anyone who is considered a villain and poses a threat to society, including Tomura himself. I guess tl;dr, it's also possible that Tomura is rejecting Izuku because he can't imagine that Izuku is here to do anything but reject him. Not just because he's been rejected so many times in the past, but because that's legitimately how he understands Star's (arguable) threat.

You know what, that was one of the things I thought about that when I wrote that post

I went with the "midoriya might be able to help me" interpretation because, on the whole, Tenko (the crying child under the layers and layers of trauma, Tomura's "origin") is still crying out for help, is still showing signs much like in the War Arc that he wants to be seen and saved even now - I'm thinking specifically about that scene where he tells Mirio that he does have friends and has a dog that loves him, and also those scenes where Tenko shows signs he is still in there, like with the Shimura Family finger puppets and such

So when I looked at that moment where he thinks about Izuku after S&S mentioned a Hero who would defeat TomurAFO, that's what my thoughts were - that he still wants help

This interpretation is based on something we do not truly know for sure though, and that is "did Tomura know Izuku leapt to push AFO away in the Void? did he know Izuku was not only pushing against AFO to get him away from OFA, but also because he knew Tomura was in pain? does Tomura know about that?"

We don't really know. It's an interpretation based on Tenko appearing in the Void from Izuku's POV (flashback in 305), and the next time he appears is in 334 simply saying "Midoriya..."

That, at the time, seemed very much like the answer to those questions to me. That Tenko knew Izuku was trying to stop AFO from hurting him in the void and so, when S&S says "The will of a Hero shall be passed on.", the first person he thinks about is Izuku

But that is based on the theory I have that Tomura knew Izuku was different from the rest because he's been watching him, because he's seen that Izuku will help even his opponents, and may have engaged Izuku in the Mall Scene to vent because he knows, deep down, Izuku is someone who might help him too (That's just a brief explanation, but I've written about it in full here)

I think with the recent development in 379 being that it seems Tomura was conscious and knew what was happening the entire time during his fusion with AFO could mean that, yes, Tomura/Tenko DID see Izuku try to help him, might have even felt his intention to save (The Void Goes Both Ways theory), and that could mean Tomura/Tenko has been thinking about that

Suffice to say, Tenko saying "Midoriya..." possibly meaning "Midoriya is a hero, Midoriya might be able to save me, he's the only one who saw me in the void and tried to help me" is the interpretation I'm sticking with, as I feel this interpretation is right

Back to your interpretation

I think it's a valid way to look at a scene that doesn't really spell everything out clearly. I wouldn't put it down completely, since it would make sense if Tomura took S&S's words to heart and thought "Izuku has the will of a Hero, but there's no way he'd save me"

At the same time, it just seems a little too straightforward. It also doesn't make a lot of sense to me

See, there are two layers to Tomura. There's the surface layer, who has been manipulated by AFO into thinking that he wanted to kill his family, that he enjoyed doing so, and that his only purpose really is to destroy everything and be the Villain until the end - This is Tomura

And then there's the inner layer which is Tenko, Tomura's real origin, who didn't want to hurt anyone, who wanted to be a Hero, and more importantly, has been the one crying out for help this entire time

Each time Tomura makes a speech, an attempt to get Heroes to see how corrupt the system is, that is actually an attempt to get the Heroes to see he's in pain and hurting and just wants someone to reach out to him (this was talked about in the first link)

That is a peek into Tenko, the one who is hurting inside, who has been crying all this time because his pain was and is being ignored

I feel this is supported further by the Void scene in 286/the flashback in 305 when, on the surface, Tomura says his dream is to destroy everything, that that is his goal and what he truly wants

But then when Izuku looks at him, into Tomura, past the surface layer, he sees Tenko

Tenko, Tomura's real origin, the inner layer, crying

Tenko represents the honest part of Tomura. Where he started from, his real wants and needs. Every time Tenko has been shown in the series after that; those, I feel, are honest moments

When we look at those scenes where little Tenko is shown, they all either show a truth in his past (chapter 227 and the Shimura Backstory chapters - though I think the Future Tomura narration specifically should be excluded from that, since it's an unreliable narration - Everything that is shown is what happened), what he really feels inside (the flashback in 305 as shown above and all those moments in the current manga arc where he tries to escape AFO's control), and what's really causing his hatred and grief (the Shimura finger puppets, the fact that he killed them when he didn't actually want to)

So if we take that into account, and look back at the panel of Tenko saying "Midoriya...", I think that shows a moment of honesty of what Tenko really wants - to be saved. And mentioning Izuku's name could mean he knows Izuku attempted to save him and wants him to do so again and succeed. If anything, he wants to be seen and heard, so him mentioning Izuku's name could at least show that he specifically wants Izuku to help him

With all of that being said, I think Tomura thinking Izuku won't want to save him is still correct...

Because if we're to believe what he's doing is a defense mechanism, to push away someone before they push away him (fear of rejection etc), then that could mean Tomura is not only scared of Izuku suddenly changing his mind during the fight, but maybe he's also scared of allowing Izuku to delve further into his past, see that Tenko killed his family, and pulling away after learning the horrible truth

Because while Tenko wants Izuku to save him, Tomura believes the horrible truth is that he really did want to kill his family, and maybe he thinks that this is a "fact" that would put Izuku off from saving him

I would describe it as a push-and-pull kind of thing

If Tomura truly didn't want Izuku to know what happened and to only see him as a Villain to fight, then he wouldn't have mentioned the house

And yet he still did

This, I believe, is the same thing Tomura did in the Mall; talking to Izuku and mentioning these things that make him hate everything, and yet probably not expecting Izuku to care

(sort of like a "heh, I'll tell him what's happening with me, not like he'll care though")

And hey, I wouldn't expect Tomura to think Izuku would take his problems on board, since last time Tomura vented his feelings out to Izuku about the things he hated, Izuku's response gave some mixed signals

Izuku's response was 1) To tell him the truth of what he thought, that Tomura was not a serious Villain and didn't have a conviction or ideals - he was honest about that during a hostage situation of all things, kids got guts - and 2) He didn't seem to care about how Tomura said an interesting line "Smiling wide as if to say there's no one he couldn't save!" that makes us, the readers, think if that has any connection to Tomura's past

Tomura probably thinks Izuku won't care if he reveals a few details and implications because Izuku has never pressed or thought about those details before

At least... not in front of Tomura

I say "mixed signals" because I think the "mixed" part of that entire interaction is that Izuku was honest throughout it all. No lying, no stalling, he didn't ignore Tomura's questions either - he gave Tomura his honest opinion. He listened. Izuku gave more to Tomura than any other Hero has - his attention and an honest answer, even if it was for a brief amount of time

Kind of a weird way to look at it, since Izuku was in a hostage situation and so his attention wouldn't be anywhere else, but I hope you get what I mean

That probably showed Tomura that Izuku is capable of rejecting him and capable of being honest throughout that rejection

And that might be the thing he's scared of. Whether Izuku rejects him during the battle or rejects him after learning what happened in the past, it would be an honest reaction either way

Izuku completely and honestly rejecting him is something that Tomura could be scared of

But there's still that push-and-pull

That "heh, I'll reveal something about myself, not like he'll care though" where Tomura will still talk about the things that happened, the things he hates, but he will only talk about them with Izuku now

After all, only Izuku has sparked that need to be honest within him

Because he's the only one who will listen anyway

#me attempting to show the separate wants of tenko and tomura while also still showing they are the same person:#*shrek voice* Tomura Has Layers.#i really hope this makes sense #thank you for the ask!😊#anon asks #bnha asks #asks with metty #bnha 379 #bnha manga spoilers #shigaraki and midoriya analysis #shigaraki and midoriya #tomura shigaraki #tenko shimura #rambling rambling always rambling

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theradioactivespidergwen · 10 months

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I'm going with anon on this although I am a regular reader of your works/blog. It's in reference to a recent blog post about feeling like people find you annoying, etc. I don't know if you're referring to online interactions or F2F with people, but I'm sorry you feel that way.

FWIW, you're being awfully hard on yourself. I suppose it's easier said than done to relax that inner voice, but at the same time, perhaps people do not find you annoying at all? Not sure of the social situations to which you refer, but those cover a lot of ground when you think about it. For example,, chatting with acquaintances about one's passions is slightly different than friends. I am awful with reading cues from people (F2F) and then in text, there is the whole issue of reading tone and intent. Perhaps in the interactions, there are contextual communications that make you feel one way but the person(s) don't believe you're that way at all. Or, there are issues of which you are unaware that are making the communication difficult (for example, I had a personal loss that I didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone too far outside of my social circle, but it did affect my ability to be a good listener on occasion so my attention was divided. I sometimes think that the old way of going into mourning helped with such types of interactions)

Anyway, I hope you don't interpret this as me telling you how to feel. Far from it. You feel the way you feel because that is what humans do. Feel. What I am attempting to relate is to encourage you to not give up on social interactions because it could just be that there are plenty of people who share your passions or enjoy listening to you describe your passions (it can be contagious you know!) or whose cues are being misinterpreted. Or, not. I suppose there are enough assholes or people who don't listen very well--we've all run into those types. But, those people are missing out on some really great conversations aren't they?

Sorry for the length of the 'ask.' I have a friend (not on Tumblr) who frequently calls me and one of the first things I used to do (and still do although nowadays she pre-empts me with a 'I need to vent') was ask her if she needed a problem solved or if she needed to vent. The reason being was that sometimes we just need someone with which to share our frustrations but not go into the 'here is what you might try mode.' Both can be positive interactions or negative depending upon the perspective of the two and I always liked to get that squared away so we weren't at cross purposes if that makes sense.

I wasn't sure if you were venting or otherwise, but again, FWIW, you matter and so do your feelings. Take care.

Heya nonnie!

Sorry it has taken me a few days to respond, you gave me alot to think about, lol.

Honestly, since no one interacted with that post, I didn't think anyone saw or cared, so thank you for making me feel valid and seen. It means alot.

I guess it's a combination of both online and IRL interactions. It's hard to make friends as an adult, and I am at the age where everyone has kids, and I am child free by choice, so I feel excluded from my real life friends quite a bit. I know people are just busy, and that's probably it, but my stupid brain just thinks everyone hates me.

The fact is, I am just lonely. Being disabled and chronically ill is incredibly isolating, and having online friends I interact with helps tremendously, but I just end up feeling like I'm bothering people.

I appreciate your very kind words, and the encouragement. This is something I have been working through with my therapist, and it's getting better, but I still have bad days.

Much love to you and anyone reading this!

#mandy answers #sweet anons

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essayofthoughts · 10 months

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camellia and ivy <3

camellia - what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

I don't know that I could accurately describe myself when I was younger. I know how I was seen by others - weird and awkward for a start, which were often the excuses used to bully me.

What I do know is how I was after my dickhead ex, which is to say: a total healfing wreck. And... I know I've changed a lot from that aftermath because there's a couple of fics I wrote early in the healing process that are themselves me discussing healing and what it can look like and... I know I wrote them and I know how I chose my wordings and decided what to do, but I don't entirely recognise the person who wrote them as me, if that makes sense? I changed between starting That balance may return and finishing it significantly, and while, yes, counselling and moving into my own place are certainly things that helped I also think writing out a version of that healing process did too, externalising parts of the healing process so I understood it not just from experience but how it applies beyond myself.

So I don't think I've changed a lot - I know that I have. But at the same time, I think I've circled back around? I was a lot more confident when I was younger, despite the bullying, but the bullying did wear on me and left me vulnerable to dickhead ex who... proceeded to wear me down even more. I've regained my confidence in the years since, I am once again the person who's first coherent word was "no". I've changed, but at my heart, I'm still me - even if sometimes I look at my past self and struggle to recognise them.

ivy - what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Well IRL I'm pretty expressive so that's not too difficult to figure out? I'm also the kind of person who, when asked "How're you doing?" will answer honestly, even if the answer is "like shit" - I'm not the best at small talk. So IRL, I'm not too difficult to figure out.

What does seem to be tricky for people to figure out is to read my online tells? Which baffles me, because most of my close friends are ones I communicate predominantly with online, so at least for me, reading clues and cues in online communication is... more straightforward? I won't use tone signifiers and I don't expect friends to, but there's always just... things? I don't entirely know how to explain it but when your friend who's usually relatively cheerful just seems... uncommonly vehement, that's when you check in, right? Or when someone who usually responds quickly doesn't you can assume they're busy and possibly stressed. When someone is definitely online and has responded to you but they're doing so slowly, that usually indicates tiredness or boredom. It's just... lots of little things and it all depends on which friend it is and timezones and what's been going on for them lately and- a whole host of other things, but there's always little parts to pick up on

Or- it varies from person to person, but for some people using shorthand for things or text speak is a sign of relaxation. If I use it in discussion with someone it usually indicates a joke, unless I'm on my phone in which case it can also indicate typing in haste - but that's contextual and I'll often specify. With certain friends we have just a kind of unspoken joke of slipping into text speak "u shold not set x on fire" - even just the "u" indicates that we know we're all being a bit silly.

And. I guess I can be very strict and firm and especially on my blog in actual text (as opposed to tags) I generally type pretty formally but for what it's worth - I don't like lying. I can be evasive when I don't want to answer something but usually I'll just go "No, I don't want to answer that". And this also means that if I'm answering something and I say "I think that you probably didn't intend this subtext with what you said but here's how it came across to me" - I do mean it. I am offering my perspective and opinion and sometimes that'll be wrong! I know that most people don't overthink things the way that I do, and don't intend the subtext I read into things - I'm not going to take it as malice unless the person doubles down.

And from this, if I say "I disagree with this thing and here's why" I want to be clear that there's no ire in that disagreement, for me? It's more... I want to be respectful and honest, rather than playing along with something I find unlikely, and I want to explain my reasoning so that others can determine for themselves if they agree or not - sometimes I'll miss something and having my reasoning laid out means that the error in my logic can be easily and clearly pointed out.

And I understand that for some people this in no way repairs how my style can feel blunt and intimidating and daunting to approach - but for what it's worth, I promise I don't mean to come off that way and I am generally responding to things in good faith, without ill-feeling.

Of course, knowing my mood on tumblr is not necessarily made easier by this, especially given how rarely I make original posts. Sometimes I have a queue, but that means tagnotes on those could be reflecting a mood thats days old. Sometimes I reblog things immediately and that can be more reflective, but also my frustration at times is pointed at something specific (fuckn tumblr and all those recent bullshit changes, for example) and isn't likely to bubble over onto anyone else.

To return to the question - IRL I'm pretty straightforward and obvious. Online... I know I can be formal, but I do tend to relax with people I know, and there's always little tells in online dialogue, if less evident than in person.

Also, if you ask me how I'm doing, I will say. Even if the answer is "like shit".

#burr-ell #ask game #ask

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 1 year

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"Corrupted" Snippet - The Magnus Archives x Malevolent WIP

Danny Stoker died trying to keep a weird, cursed book away from some very bad people.

Tim has the book.

Tim has no idea.

Opening it has thrust him into an entirely new world.

A snippet in which Tim tried to find help at the Magnus Institute, and did not - and the conversation thereafter is beginning to make him wonder what is truly inside his head.

(thunder)

-------------------------

Stairs just ahead. Take your time.

He does, one step at a time, using the excuse of concentration to be silent.

He wipes his leaky eyes.

Are you all right?

“No. Gonna have to be, though, apparently, because I don’t want to take his deal.”

I promise you, Bouchard will be watching us regardless of what we do.

“Well, fuck that guy, then,” says Tim. “I guess consent isn’t on some fear god’s radar.”

John snorts. I don’t know why you ever thought it would be. You’re at the bottom. Where now?

“I don’t know. I’m trying to think. Can I just walk somewhere? Get away from this place?”

Walk to your right. There isn’t much traffic.

Tim does, and doesn’t speak again until he’s found a comfortable pace and position that seems to keep him from smashing into anyone.

John directs, corrects, and lets him ponder.

“So here’s what I’m thinking,” Tim finally says. “If all this is real, then other things must be. So. Are there good fairies, or something? Wishing wells? Forest spirits of mercy, or kindness, or whatever?”

There’s a pause.

Tim… I don’t know everything, but I do know this: no. There are no beneficent fairies. No good and kind spirits just waiting to freely give of themselves to undeserving mortals. Everything that exists only does so because it has not been eaten or used by something else, including you - from your immune system to your choices, you also fight to survive. Yes, I believe we will find help, but it will come at a price. It's just a matter of what price you’re willing to pay.

Strangely, this is different from John’s usual calming tone. It’s not crazy-smooth; it’s just quiet, and Tim suddenly feels like this is the first time John has been genuinely gentle with him.

Tim’s throat feels tight. “Bit of a downer, there,” he manages after a minute. “So what do we do?”

You truly don’t feel what he offered was worth what he asked?

“Just being in that building made me feel paranoid, and that isn’t like me. I started to get angry, over, just… nothing. No. Whatever price I have to pay, I’m not losing myself for it. That guy didn’t even have a solution, anyway. Just a what-if. Not worth it.”

Then we keep looking.

“I don’t know where to look, is the problem. And just so you know, John? Maybe I am surviving, like everybody else here, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make choices and be a good person and help other undeserving mortals.”

Seeing yourself as the hero, are you?

Tim snorts. ”No. I’d be a cheerfully bisexual bard, at best, not a protagonist. I just mean… I don’t know. You make every living thing sound like an asshole, and I don’t think all of us are.”

John chuckles. A slutty bard? Really?

“It’s a DND ref- wait. You understood that?”

Yes. I’m familiar with the trope. I’m merely amused you used it.

So that has some implications, holy shit. “How the hell are you familiar with an internet meme?”

Well, two ways. The first is that as long as we share a body, some of your knowledge will sink into me – a little bit like water through porous stone. Not much, but enough to give us some common contextual ground. However, in this case, it’s because not everyone who kept this book was only a cultist. Some of them were nerds.

“What, did they just keep you on the table while scrolling through I Can Haz Cheezburger?”

Sometimes.

This doesn’t feel like the full truth. There’s something else John is not saying here, but Tim doesn’t know how to get at it. “I can talk to you in memes,” he says instead.” I’m going to be insufferable.”

John chuckles.

Or… maybe that was the truth, and Tim just feels paranoid thanks to whatever the hell that place was. “How does anyone even manage to work there without all becoming axe murderers?” he mutters.

I believe if you are inclined toward the type of fear and information-gathering that god prefers, it grants some sanity so you can keep feeding it. I’ve seen the like.

“A whole fear-god economy. Fuck me, that’s wild.”

Indeed.

“And by the way - what was all that ‘mine’ stuff about?”

John sighs. I apologize. I… felt strange, in that place. I could feel it feeding on you, and I didn’t know how else to react. I thought perhaps it would respect some kind of… prior claim. Obviously, that didn’t work.

Tim laughs weakly. “Oh, we are definitely not going back to Spooky Manor, then. But where do we go instead?”

I have an idea, if you’re willing to try it - but first, you need to eat. He was right about that. Man shall not live by peanut butter alone.

It is deeply unnerving to hear all these deeply human references, used with such easy familiarity. “I don’t want to try dealing with a restaurant. Find me a take-out place.”

Keep going. I’ll get you there.

It’s going to be okay, Tim tells himself on repeat. It’s going to be okay.

Though a tiny part of him is beginning to wonder if, somehow, his family might be cursed.

#amwriting #tim stoker #yellow mallevolent #wip #tma fic #malevolent fic #fic in progress

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red-dyed-sarumane · 1 year

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every time i think about the oumen mokushiroku & unplanned apoptosis connections i take damage but in also eating it like candy.

like. current theory with the details i have now. we know the angel was supposed to be a protection figure, either agreed on by the others or just what she saw as her personal role idk which the songs are subjective so its hard to say, & we know she wasnt able to actually do anything about the situation, proven by the fact in all the the songs the whole world ending is still ongoing. she want to help, nothing she can do has made any difference and shes out of options. so, theory, the only thing left she can even try is to give up her retries, to really sacrifice herself so everyone else can keep going & make it out of the whole cycle alive & intact. its different from the other songs excluding aru sekai shoushitsu itself since the motif is in the lyrics not the instrumental but in direct contrast to the og lyrics hers are about wanting to meet again but everythings going dark on her. like in a heavy "this is the end" for her kind of way. maybe by saying it, its her way of giving up her repeats. details are kind of hazy i guess but i hope u get what i mean.

and then u have the direct counterpoint song about the girl whos taking it in the worst way possible. honestly i dont think she was that great of a person to begin with all thing considered but dear god girl got worse on purpose. again we know the two are directly linked bc this girls sitting outside the same window the angel was at, but now its dark & broken, & im willing to bet thats to show the angel's not there anymore. the girl in unplanned apoptosis has the Worst attitude ever, i cant blame her given everything thats happening but also wow she is NOT doing well. the world's ending on repeat, shes experienced the worst how many times, and now the angel went and left her too. having an absolute dog shit time & shes letting everyone know by being a brat about it, lying acting out pretending not to care etc etc. -another detail that ties in. we know from maximizer everyone involved is aware of the risks. we know the characters know they can lose their self so theyre no longer "human" & therefore cant continue.- so whats that mean for her? well shes at the end of her rope i dont think she wanted any of this to begin with and now she's been left all alone (by the angel. the others are still there but theres no contextual reason to believe shes particularly close to any of them) so whats left for her but to do the same and make sure she doesnt repeat anymore either? the "kill myself" line isnt exactly the suicide u'd think. she's not actively ending her life itself. she self sabotaging in every other way possible, digging herself deeper, becoming the worst version of herself so she can cross that "boundary of self" as its called in laboratory so that she can finally die for the last time when the world ends again. but the problem is even with all shes doing & acting out she cant cross that boundary. she still is forced to continue. "just as usual the day ended" for her. even after everything, after permanently losing someone & all the self destruction theres no change whatsoever, thats maddening in itself yet shes still herself so she has to live with it.

which, slight tangent, makes it all the more interesting to find out what the Fuck the laboratory chara did that SHE loses her self & cant continue but the one whos potentially actively trying to do that cant. my best guess rn is that labo got caught up in the details & forgot her personal values in pursuit of an end, where as apoptosis is acting in her own interests with less care on the fate of the world & doing so means she clings to her self but i dont really have the details to back that up rn.

#aru sekai series #these two drive me INSANE they mean everything to me #a theory only tho bc ive been wrong about these two before it'll probably happen again #like i said i thought apoptosis kind of is the whole cause but im not so sure anymore #she's definitely still causing problems im just not thinking shes the reason tenshi cant do anything anymore #i think tenshi did that herself now #although that also means figuring out how the broken glass in kanon fits in again. ill get back to u on that one #sorry im passively reminded of these two & i become an unskippable cutscene

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dangerouscommiesubversive · 2 years

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Chest Kiss - Sougo - Tsukuyomi - Geiz (kiss either Sougo's chest or Geiz's chest) lol

Hm, this one has the potential to be so fun. However I can only imagine Geiz being the one kissed here, since for reasons of narrative appropriateness I feel like Sougo shouldn't have a chest worth kissing, just kind of a dish rack with skin. Anyway, this story got really goofy. narrative convenience

"What were you two doing out--Geiz, your shirt."

Geiz blinks dizzily, blood dripping from his nose. "Did I win? What about my shirt?"

Tsukuyomi gapes at him for a moment before collecting herself. "Win what?"

"We were, we were trying to figure out which one was stronger." Sougo sounds just as dizzy, the golden armor dissolving around him as he staggers over to a bench and sits down. "You know, between Grand Zi-O and Geiz Majesty. And then there was a guy."

"Another Kaixa." Geiz sits down next to Sougo, apparently unbothered by the fact that his nose is continuing to bleed onto his shirt. "And he did some kind of, he did a thing, a mind thing, we started fighting each other for real. So Sougo punched me in the face."

"Sougo."

"To be fair, Geiz punched me in the stomach." Sougo's regaining himself a little more quickly than Geiz, probably because he hasn't taken any blows to the head. "But we, we got it together, we took him out. The guy."

"Another Kaixa."

"Yeah, that one."

Tsukuyomi scowls. "Well, we'll...we'll ask Woz about him later. Sougo, don't just sit there, help me get Geiz's shirt off, it's covered in blood. How hard did you punch him?"

"Pretty hard." Sougo grabs Geiz's left wrist and unfolds the cuff so he can undo the button on the sleeve.

Geiz's eyes are slowly starting to focus again, and his nose has finally stopped bleeding. His forehead wrinkles. "Why are we taking my clothes off? This doesn't really seem like the time to--oh, shit, is that all mine?"

"Whose else would it be?" Tsukuyomi frowns down at his shirt buttons as she undoes them. "You were in your suit, full helmet and everything. Although I guess this answers a question I've had, I've always kind of wondered about what happens to our clothes when we transform." She unrolls and unbuttons Geiz's right sleeve and pulls it off his arm. "I guess it would be a little strange if we were just naked in there."

Sougo tugs Geiz's other sleeve off. "I always figured it was contextual."

Tsukuyomi and Geiz both turn to look at him, saying in unison, "What?"

"Well, you know. Woz says our lives are ruled by narrative convenience even more than most Kamen Riders. So wouldn't it make sense if we're wearing our day clothes inside our suits when that would be more interesting dramatically? And then other times we've got, like, arming gear on underneath them? Geiz got hit in the face, so it's more dramatic and exciting for his shirt to be all bloody when he drops his suit." Sougo pauses, looking Geiz over. "I think you should take your undershirt off too, it's also got blood on it."

A little more staring from Tsukuyomi before she says, slowly, "That's...that's a really good point, Sougo, I hadn't considered that. Also what do you mean, there's no blood on the under--"

"No, I definitely see blood, Geiz should take his undershirt off."

Geiz eyes Sougo sidelong. "You just want me to be shirtless, don't you."

Sougo's expression is suspiciously guileless and innocent. "I mean, it's not a bad side effect."

"You're ridiculous." Geiz peels off his tank top and drops it on top of his bloody shirt, and then says, "Ow, ow, be careful," as Sougo half-tackles him onto his back on the bench.

"Come on." Sougo grins down at him. "Admit I'm the strongest Kamen Rider."

"I thought that was a different guy."

Tsukuyomi snorts, covering her mouth to hide laughter. "You two know we're in public, right?"

"Come on, we're just behind the store, nobody's wandering around back here. We'll be--oh, wow, did I leave that bruise?"

Geiz looks down awkwardly at his own chest and the dark bruise spreading across one of his pectorals. "No, I think that one was Another Kaixa. At least I'm pretty sure."

"Well, on the off chance that it was me--" Sougo ducks his head and kisses the bruise, which makes Geiz both wince and laugh ticklishly. "I'm very sorry."

Rolling her eyes, Tsukuyomi bends down and kisses the same spot, and then straightens up and says, "Both of you, get up. Geiz's face is still covered in blood, and you shouldn't just be making out in public like this anyway." She gathers up Geiz's shirt and tank top. "Anyway, I'm the strongest Kamen Rider. My hand turns into a sword, and my suit is nicer-looking than either of yours."

#tokiwa sougo #tsukuyomi alpina #geiz #fanfiction #anonamouse #stupid faiz jokes #actually there are *several* very stupid jokes in this #one of them is about faiz though

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