Now im not saying i would ever be an arsonist but im not not saying that sometimes i want to set a building on fire and watch as the flames grow and flicker around me and hear the flames start to roar and turn different colours as i watch mesmerized by them and they inch closer but still i dont really notice because how can something this beautiful be so deadly and if i do its too late and as the fire catches on to my clothes i look up at the sky and wonder for the last time..

Considering that I'm likely just speaking into the void, I'm just gonna jot down the shit I've figured for my Untamed daydreams here lol

OC is a Jiang Clan disciple who started off accidentally befriending Yanli, which then quickly escalated to being close to the three siblings

OC is at least close to Wei Wuxian's level power wise and just as sassy; the two of them together makes Jiang Cheng flip his shit very often but OC is also the one person Yanli trusts to control her lil bro when he's on the verge of being extra unreasonable

(I need to rewatch the beginning again cuz some details have faded so how she ends up going to Clouds Recesses is a mystery right now; been working under the assumption that she was only allowed to go under the guise of keeping Yanli company specifically, so she's not actually attending the lectures when it's going on. [I am currently second guessing this but I really don't recall Yanli being at the lectures?? Ugh])

Anyway, assuming she isn't actually at the lectures, one day OC bothers Wei Wuxian for a copy of the Lan Clan's 3k rules for funsies

Cut to later when Lan Wanji finds her with her own written copy of the rules, but it's only the ones that she personally believes actually makes good cultivators, and ends up explaining her thought process to him when he doesn't leave (something about some of the rules aren't things that can actually be changed about a person like temperament and trying to make people conform to them can be damaging in the long term, plus some other stuff that I seem to have forgotten atm)

While thinking idly about if any of the other cultivators present would potentially have a crush on her during the lectures my brain fuckin screamed "NIE HUISANG" and honestly I couldn't dispute that, so that's a thing lol It's one-sided as fuck though

Like I had the mental image of the crush being revealed cuz the fucker has no poker face atp and Wei Wuxian just laughing at him cuz (and this is very silly and clumsy but thoughts are weird) OC's the "girl version" of himself and she would also laugh at Nie Huisang if it ever came up so might as well save himself the heartache lol

I've just been having fun imagining her dynamics with everybody c'=

Her and Jiang Cheng is especially fun to play with, to the point where I can't actually imagine her ending up with anybody else? Which is strange cuz I didn't really plan on romance being a thing. Like, I ideally would've gone for Wuxian but I do feel bad about ruining the soulmates ;; Ah well

I still need to have a very good think and probably write shit more coherently than whatever mess I just put down here lol

2, 7, 11, 12, 18, 29, 33 :)

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

Because I love the characters and want to explore what happens with them in different scenarios. It is just interesting to see how the same person can change and be reshaped by the circumstances while keeping their core personality... Or because canon is dumb as hell and wrongs the babies and we can’t have that.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Right now? With the writing. I am piecing together stories the entire time but the actual writing part is just not happening. I don’t know what exactly happened. It might be lockdown getting to me and the fact that it is confusing my emotions which definitely makes writing much more unclear. But I also lack concentration lately and I haven’t been able to listen to music. Lately I do everything with a TV show playing in the background. It fries my brain to have my focus torn between two things 100% of the time but quietness or even music is giving me anxiety and I don’t know how to fix that. I feel like that is a big part of the problem because with an episode playing in the background, I can’t exactly immerse myself in the writing. It’s fun because I have never been in a situation like that before and I don’t know what to do.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

Lately I am mostly writing about magic. I just like coming up with cool magical lore and creatures and plot to fit those in. I can’t exactly focus on characters all that much (which is where the confused emotions come in). It’s okay right now because I have a lot of work on the rewrites I am doing which are full of magical and plot stuff to figure out but I hope that once finals are over, this issue will settle a little bit.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

I already talked about my most prominent WIPs and the ones I have been paying attention to recently.

Tbh I have been looking at the Domme AU these last few days and I am still so excited about that. I can’t say that I have actually come up... with new stuff. Wait, I actually did. I was looking at chapter 4 - the damn monster - and made some mental notes on what I want to include in chapter 5. I thought I had that figured out but I guess there is more to think about both the structural components of that chapter and PoVs to include. I realized that I haven’t done a great job of developing Valtor’s character and that will need more work before I can actually write anything else. I feel like the chapters I already talk all circle around the same vagueness about Valtor’s emotional state without giving any concrete progress and that will need to be fixed. Griffin is relatively developed since she also has a goal outside of their relationship which makes her feel more complete as a character but Valtor is still a work in progress and I need to do some thinking before I know what I am aiming for with him in more concrete terms. It will improve the story and will probably - hopefully - prevent another chapter as mercilessly long as chapter 4.

18. I already answered that here. (Also where I talked about the WIPs.)

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

The Griffin x Palladium fic - Return to Need - I wrote on a request was definitely outside of my comfort zone. I couldn’t really imagine what a relationship with them would look like and it was a smut prompt so I just strayed as far away from that as possible while digging more into the emotional side and that worked out pretty well. I am actually perfectly happy with what came out of that and pleased with myself for actually rising to the challenge.

There were also two other fics I wrote as requests that were based on songs.

The first one was a Valcy fic - Old As Ice  -  that made me slightly uncomfortable because I hate the way Icy drools over Valtor on the show and I had to think a little about how to go around that. I am more than happy with the result, however, as I pulled out some amazing imagery and creative metaphors and I love the way it all turned out. It is probably one of my best things even if it is short and doesn’t have a plot. It is more of a character and relationship study.

The other one is a Driven fic - Purple Will Be the Color of Your Death - that was based on the song Bang by Armchair Cynics. That one could (and probably should) have been taken in a sexual way but since murder also worked, I decided to do that. I wasn’t comfortable writing smut about Riven and Darcy so I thought “Let’s have the murder instead”. It got pretty dark (especially considering how short it is) but I really like it because I have used some cool imagery again and it dug a little in the Darcy and Riven relationship as it was portrayed on the show even though I feel like there was a lot more to it than they thought okay to show. It is definitely not an accurate portrayal of their relationship, or at least not one that feels accurate to me but it was still pretty interesting to write.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I can’t think of anything in particular right now. Maybe because I don’t know what I am doing in my writing process atm. It feels like it is under construction and that is both scary and annoying because it makes it hard to write rn. I am trying to push through but I am just too exhausted to force myself some days even though I would love to actually work on my ideas because I am super excited about them.

Tbh - and I am not saying this to guilt anyone - I would love to hear more from my audience about my writing. I got to 300 followers and I have no idea why the bigger part of these people follow me. I don’t want to turn this into whining about commenting because that is not what it is. It just feels a little weird to have that kind of following yet mostly scream in a void is all I’m saying. The interaction just feels a little slow sometimes. Again, not to make anyone feel shitty. This is just how I feel and I know that I am not the easiest person to interact with because if I am exhausted, I may take some a significant amount of time to respond.

Send me Fanfic Writer questions

You know... I think i almost became Gou once..

STORYTIME!!:

Long time ago, when i was playing my wonderful pokemon emerald.. I remember hating having to battle my pokemon, since I never connected with them that way.

This was long before we got things like pokemon alola, or any other ways of interacting with your pokemon besides healing and battleing.

I was really lonely back than, and was still trying to make freinds (and mostly failing at it..) So my freinds where my blaziken and my Mightyena. My two strongest pokemon. (Which I just realized, yes. I too started with a fire pokemon.)

They'd both play off each other, blaziken being a complete powerhouse! And my mightyena, always there when i need it most. Whenever mightyena fainted, that's when i knew i was truley devastated.

(I had like a million cascoons too, but i didnt really connect with em, except for like.. 1 wurmple which was like my child that needed constant love and protection.)

Of course, after awhile..didn't want them to battle. *cough* probably cause i sucked at battling *cough*

I wanted to make freinds.

So, if i caught pokemon, that means they wouldn't run away, abandon me, and I'd could play with them.

Of course, being the deranged child I was, thought if i could capture EVERY SINGLE POKEMON IN THE GAME- i could make many freinds!

Plus, the pokedex would tell me stuff about them, and i could understand/ learn about them better. (Always had will to learn)

Of course, i may have sucked at battling, and had like 2 gym badges that i could care less about... BUT I WAS GOOD AT CATCHING POKEMON!!!! SO THIS GOAL HAD TO BE LEGIT-

It wasn't..

But by the time I realized i probably couldn't do that.. My poor freaking atm.... Was filled to the brim with so much pokemon oh arceus lord all mighty- i was a monster... How much time did i have on my hands??!?! WHY WAS THERE SO MANY CASCOONS AND TENTACOOLS?!?!?

And then i lost my game cartridge

:DDD

:DDD

*screams into the void*

Im sure many can relate to my stupid story-

Though im going to be honest, i guess thats probably cause the animes whole "gotta catch em all!" Thing that I kept reading.

Hell- i even tried to give my pokemon some screen time-

Realizing I didn't want to abandon them in their tiny, dark prision.. And i still wanted to care for them in any way i could, i occasionally took them out of their pokeballs to battle with.

Just like gou did....

I even wear black cause its my favorite color...

Okay, so im starting to see that gou is a very relatable character-

OR I AM A VERY RELATABLE PERSON- AND AM A COMMON TROPE????????

HELP?!??! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS STORY?!?!

*whispers this before tumblr disappears to the void* I high-key have a tumblr crush on you since you made that awesome you kneel before my throne post. I might have screamed a bit when I realized I share fandom with someone famous 😂😂😂

thank!!!! i dont really know how to respond well to this bc i really dont think im famous so thats weird like “woah wat.” but thank! am right in assuming this is referring to the cosmere fandom? because eet ees veerry smoll (for an active fandom at least) so thatd prob be my guess

also i have no plans to leave tumblr atm unless the site literally desolves, which i dont think itll do,,,itll prob just keep bein the bullshit it has been

A Long Text Post About My Life? What is This? 2014?

Hi, whoever follows this blog.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and I kind of just need to make a long text post so that I can scream into the void and update people about what’s going on in my life atm so please feel free to scroll by (or stop to read it, it’s your life).

    Hello, Tumblr follower (insert username here), long time no see. How’s it going? How are you doing? I hope you’re staying hydrated and taking care of yourself. It’s weird out there.     

    So, during this pandemic (I hate how normal that sounds now) I have been fortunate enough to keep my job. It’s part time, so I’m not making much money, but I have a roof over my head and I’m with my family so I’m truly counting my blessings where I can take them. Ironically, I had a job interview scheduled for mid-March for a full time position that I had a great shot of getting, but my job closed that week. Fun stuff. 

     For those who don’t know, I live in Florida (in a super republican county as well) and it’s been a trip to see people act like absolutely nothing is happening. I work with the public at my job, and I would say about 90% of people have started wearing masks (it used to be 50% on a good day) and caring about social distancing. This whole experience has made me miss New York more than anything. I can’t stop thinking about what this would have been like if I had been in New York and in my old house during all of this. Currently, my closest friend (physically) lives 3 hours away in Orlando so I can’t imagine going through this with friends and family being within driving distance. 

    In addition to all of this I am having a slight mental breakdown these past few days, which is really cute and fun for me. It’s entirely due to the fact that my doctor took me off of my anxiety medication I had been on for 5 years, and decided to place me on Wellbutrin, which is a stimulant that is mainly meant to cure depression (and can actually cause anxiety). I’ve had to call out of work twice this week because it messed up my stomach so bad to the point that I could barely eat or drink, and felt constantly nauseas. Not to mention that the dread/panic disorder that is usually stopped by my medicine came back in full force last night. So needless to say, I called my doctor this morning and asked to be switched back, and I feel much better already (I’m also looking for a new doctor). I’m learning to actually listen to my body when I don’t feel well instead of feeling tremendously guilty about it, so I’ll be resting today while watching season 2 of The Umbrella Academy (I find it ironic that one of the first celebrities I ever found out solely through tumblr was Robert Sheehan, and now I get to see him in the tv adaptation of Gerard Way’s comic book. Weird sentence to have read in 2010).     Anyways, soon I’ll be coming up on 10 years (!!!) of having my tumblr account, which is completely insane to me. I started this as a high school freshman who was pretty unfamiliar with the world outside of her little bubble, and now I’m 24 and a (somewhat) functioning adult (I have a Master’s degree now? and I’ve been driving for 7 years? I can drink legally? These things still baffle me). I don’t know if there are any people who have followed me since the beginning on here (besides Tori, hi Tori if you’re reading this), but thanks for putting up with cringy posts, bad selfies, and thirsting over celebrities in the tags. This isn’t a goodbye or anything by the way! At this point I’ve decided that the way this blog ends is that Tumblr dies or I die. If you’ve read this long....geez I’m not sure what to tell you. I guess thanks? My inbox is always open (and messenger too, still crazy that it took them this long to come up with that feature). Now, I will give you my signature sign-off, that I came up with all those years ago. James Maslow, if you’re reading this, I’m single. Rachel

taggy q’s!

Thank you my dear @commodorecliche for tagging me!

The rules: Answer these 85 q’s then tag some peeps!

I’m not sure who to tag, so I’ll just go with @ideal-mina and @viktorthicciforov and @authordrive and leave it at that for now

THE LAST 1. DRINK: sweet tea 2. PHONE CALL: the jakester/close friend 3. TEXT MESSAGE: maribae. check her outtttttt atttttt >>> :) :) :) @viktorthicciforov :) :) :) 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART yall probably think im joking 5. TIME YOU CRIED: i dunno honestly i cry a lot 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: i dont think ive technically dated anyone more than once 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: ehh 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Yes. 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yeah. 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: um yes, i have depression  11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: oh of course 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. purple 13. blue 14. red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yupperooskies 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: unfortunately. 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: i think so 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: ooooooh yeah, man. 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: not particularly 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: not really no 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: i have not kissed someone in almost two years.

GENERAL 22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: like most of them. all except like 15? and even them i’ve known for 7 years. 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: i live with five chihuahuas: Sasha, Clifford, Mika, Nora and Navi 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: yupp i’d love to see Ryn on my legal docs 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: i worked a 10 hour shift :) and then died :) im still bitter :) she wouldn’t let me leave :) because she bought a cake :) and didnt want it brought in until nearly :) 8pm :) even tho i had been there since 9 :) with no break :) on my fucking :) birthday :) 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: uhhhhhhhh like 1pm lmao 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: i have the vague idea that i was reading, but i dont remember 11:30-1:15 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: the void h a l l o w e e n 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: couple of hours ago, i still live at home 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: the call of the void the ambient noise of living on a military base 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: yeah, i think he died a few years ago. i miss him. 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: being unemployed, living at home, not being independent, my mental state, lots of things 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: i would say tumblr, but it’s ao3. 35. HAIR COLOUR: im a bleach blond, with brown roots bc im lazy and dont feel like upkeep 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short, but still longer than i like 37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: subtly screams: MARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: mnyeh. nothing really i reckon 39. PIERCINGS: i’ve got a standard tongue piercing, a monroe, right nostril, and then i’ve got 7/16th plugs 40. BLOOD TYPE: i honestly dont heckin know my guy 41. NICKNAME: uhm. void and, uh, vore. lmao. there’s probably more but these are the ones i see daily. 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: a single useless pringle, i think? i dont think im dating anyone, maybe 43. ZODIAC: im keith (scorpio power yall) 44. PRONOUNS: he/him pls pls pls 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: got that VLD and Rick & Morty grind yall GoT doesnt count its just part of my life at this point 46. TATTOOS: 3ish. This swirly star neverland skully thing on my left foot, a bird on my right shoulder, mars/moon/stars on my left wrist that matches my mother and oldest younger brother, and vaguelly some blotches of color on my right foot that dont count anymore because you cant really see them unless you Know. 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right handed, left hand can be used for some things. 48. SURGERY: galbladder, tonsils/adnoids, and wisdom teeth.

50. SPORT: i’ve never been a sport but i always enjoyed the idea of playing volleyball. 51. VACATION: all my vacations are home. @ tennessee whats good i miss you  52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: idk like the only shoes i own rn are like vans MORE GENERAL 53. EATING: i nothing atm, but i do love eating. 54. DRINKING: sweet tea 55. I’M ABOUT TO: bounce between writing some more and playing overwatch 56. WAITING FOR: the void to take me a job 57. WANT: to enter the void to take my longboard out, but it’s too hilly here and im still new 58. GET MARRIED: one day probably i like the idea of proposing to someone.

WHICH IS BETTER: 60. HUGS OR KISSES: meh. idk. depends on who i guess 61. LIPS OR EYES: can i get a uhhhhh b o t h 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: meh 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: either or 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: i am a slut for some nice arms 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: idk. 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: little bit of both. im hesitantly a troublemaker. HAVE YOU EVER: 67. KISSED A STRANGER: neh. 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: ooohyes. 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: i lost 6 months worth of contacts once 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yesssssss 71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: does it count if it wasnt a date at all, just hanging out that ended up there bc yes? but we didnt have a date so 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: idk maybe probably wait yeah sorry 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: ahahahaha yea 74. BEEN ARRESTED: nopers 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: vaguely. the concept of death is something that vaguely affects me. i generally end up crying a few months after the death, if at all 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ye DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. YOURSELF: meh 78. MIRACLES: not exactly 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: lust, yes. love, no. 80. SANTA CLAUS: i believe that there was probably once a man that sparked the legend but santa as the current urban myth is a m y t h 81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: sure 82. ANGELS: in a way. OTHER: 84. EYE COLOUR: hazel 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: donnie darko or howls moving caste