#i fucking love bcs and stuff like that but animation just hits different
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movies like nimona and across the spiderverse makes me realize that I never want to see another live action movie again. The way you can utilize animation and make visuals so interesting, as well as the flow and colors, is just something you can't do with real people
#spider man: across the spider verse#into the spider verse#atsv#nimona#animation#film discussion#and don't get me wrong#i fucking love bcs and stuff like that but animation just hits different#nimona movie
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YES !! YES !!!!!! AHAHAAAA YESSSS !!!!
my personal headcannons for the loveliest of lovely little guys <3333
extra info + flags!!
randy: (pan and agender)
-fibromyalgia for sure, trauma does shit things
-probably needs a cane or something similar to aleviate pain (doesn't think he's ill enough to need one, absolutely is)
-if he gets high please treat him like a fish in an aquarium, probably would hate the lack of control
-flushes really easily, and constantly clammy
-if you put a blanket on his head he'll fall asleep
-narcolepsy
-loves the feeling of a nice, heafty, soft quilt and a hot cocoa on a cold afternoon...
oliver: (trans, gay and demiromantic!)
-has a stuffed animal collection 100%
-probably picks up a million different projects only to put them down, a new hyperfixation every week kinda guy
-him being a stoner is basically cannon but, in specifics he seems like a bong or joint guy to me, would let u smoke the first hit (bc he's nice)
-rollerskate date :]
-glasses to at least semi help his shit 'eye' (optical sensor) and lack of depth perception (they can only do so much though)
karen: (nonbinary, lesbian)
-doesn't particularly care about gender as a concept
-has a bunch of tassles and cords in her house she has braided
-can't keep a plant alive to save her life, has mourned at least 20 house plants, has a fake one (somehow dies too)
-mitski.
-the biggest sweet tooth out of the group
-will lock herself away for hours and hours, sometimes an entire day or two, just creating. only to come out of a hole haggard and exhuasted with her New Horse Drawing.
-hEDS, uses a walker to get around!
Norm: (questioning/bi ?)
-writer (how the hell else wouldn't he go absolutely bonkers all alone, other than having a goal and spite i guess)
-uses coffee to live, but definitely enjoys tea in his free time
-probably learned archery at some point
-whittles little sculptures to pass the time (made karen a little wooden horse sculpture once)
-randomly schedules cook outs/junctions when he's feeling lonely and isolated
-he would absolutely take the will graham route and end up with 20 fucking stray dogs out of a deep empathy and then wake up one day and realize the mess he got himself into.
-grilldad. (duh)
phonegingi: (genderfluid, polyamorous, pan)
-gender? yes.
-sexuality? yes.
-will consume your clothes if you are not careful with your gingi Care instructions. (taking little nibbles is okay as a treat)
-if weed is consumed it basically acts as a horrifically strong catnip, and it will get the zoomies and make it everyone's problem
-purrs
-pays really good attention to detail stuff, and its brain is basically a filing cabinet. but big events are basically a blur
-gets SUPER !! fluffy during the winter and there's an awful period where it's shedding and it's...super patchy and silly lookin
-me and the bitches i pulled by being HORRIFYING and lovely,,,,
bigfoot: (aroace. i don't take criticism.)
-banana,,,
-genuinely pretty attentive and smart
-becomes a painter because he is INSPIRED ! by his friend karen
-absolutely splendid lad
-i wanna live in a world where one of his passions is making and wearing silly hats, please, PLEASE
-karen showed him mitski,,,god help him he's sad now
-knitting,,,he knit giant banana,,,,
#dialtown fanart#randy jade#oliver swift#karen dunn#norm allen#phonegingi#bigfoot dialtown#dialtown#dialtown hc
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Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 2
chapter two : beware the jabberwock
series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist
a/n : took a while to get out but here is chapter two !!! i have a lot of fun writing this fic bc the pacing is so much different than bks but i'm excited to get this chapter out bc i loved writing it so much and i'm so happy that people enjoy this fic so far !!
pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader
rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings
word count : 15.1k (i'm so sorry idk what happened)
summary : new relationships are tricky, especially when your boyfriend likes to disappear for several days with no explanation.
warnings, etc. : dub con?? i'm gonna tag this with that because the sex is like weird in this?? a lot of it is angry or reluctant from one participant at times so i'm gonna tag it just in case, soulmates au, no outbreak au, language, graphic descriptions of violence, gore, fear, feeling of being stalked, feeling of being watched, me making up things regarding the embalming process, animal death, graphic description of the mortuary process, menstruation, derealization (sort of), smut, oral f!recieving, p in v, biting, just like a lot of mouth stuff lmao, cum eating, rough sex, degradation, sort of dumbification, joel is a bit beastly, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, praise, use of the pet name bunny, nightmares, periods, menstruation, joel is a terrible boyfriend, angry sex, injury, blood, blood drinking, manipulation, not a/b/o but something i made up that is sort of along those lines??, body horror, monsters, predator & prey dynamic, a lot of stuff happens this chap so i might have missed some sorry!!, no physical description of reader but joel is described as being abnormally strong and does pick reader up, there is no actual fucking of a monster yet we can't just do that right out the gate it's a thriller it destroys the thrill if they fuck immediately, that being said; this is a monster fucker fic - proceed accordingly
comments and reblogs are appreciated!
You don’t sleep well after your dream.
Just staring up at the ceiling until the sun is starting to shine through the windows.
Not that you’ve been sleeping well recently to begin with. And Joel suddenly feels less safe, the grip of his arms around you feels more like it’s trapping you rather than protecting you.
It’s Joel.
Just take a deep breath.
It’s Joel. Joel Miller. Sweet, handsome, kind, Joel Miller. Joel who came back, even though you assumed you’d never hear from him again.
It was nothing more than a dream.
Stop making up monsters.
You slip out of his arms, quietly making your way over to the fridge to try and find something to make for breakfast. You haven’t gone shopping in a while, all you’ve got is half a loaf of bread and a few eggs. Good enough. Clicking the stove on you set a pan down, cracking the eggs with a small sizzle as they hit the metal.
“Up already?” You didn’t hear him wake but when you turn he’s propped up on an elbow watching you.
“Couldn’t sleep.” Not technically a lie.
“Are you okay?” He sits up a bit and you can feel him sizing you up.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
You aren’t really.
But you can’t really tell him why, so why bother.
He stretches his arms above his head as he gets up, making his way over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and resting his head on your shoulder as you flip the eggs.
“Hungry?” You’re desperate to think about anything but your dreams, as you speak his grip around your waist tightens.
“I could eat.” You shudder for several reasons as his teeth graze your neck before nipping at you.
“These should be done in a few minutes, I just gotta make the toast.” You laugh softly as the scruff of his beard brushes against you.
He makes it too easy to forget your fears.
“Mhmm.” The vibrations from his humming make you gasp, nearly dropping the spatula in your hand as he squeezes you for a moment. You work around his advances, putting the bread in the toaster as one of his hands slips under your shirt.
“How many do you want?” You hold up the bread in front of him, trying to get him to pay attention but it’s getting difficult to stay focused on your task when something is currently pressing against your ass.
“I think I’m fine with just this.” He squeezes the bare flesh of your torso making you yelp a bit as his hand drifts further up.
“What happened to your third date rule?” He groans as you reach over to the stove, turning the burner off to keep the eggs from burning before turning around in his arms, your back pressed against the counter.
“We should go to dinner tonight.” He smiles before leaning forward to kiss you but you put a hand between his mouth and yours.
“What makes you think I’ve forgiven you enough to warrant another date?”
He pouts. His bottom lip sticking out a bit as he frowns.
“Wouldn’t matter if I did anyway, it would only be the second date.” You shrug.
“Last night was the second date.” He says rather matter of factly.
“That didn’t count.” You can’t help the smile that threatens to form on your as his frown deepens.
“So you wanna wait for two more dates.”
Definitely not.
“Tonight?” For a brief moment you try and think of anything else you might be doing but you don’t exactly have a social life here in Honey.
“S’gotta be, I’m spending tomorrow with Ellie and then I’ll be busy with work, gotta catch up on some things.”
Why would he need to catch up if he’s been busy all week?
“Tonight works.” Even after what he put you through you still feel the strangest pull towards him, dragging him to the table with you as you set down a couple plates.
“I’ll be here at eight?” He sits, an accomplished look on his face.
“Works for me.”
You have an uneventful breakfast.
Neither one of you talks about his disappearing act. And eventually he has to leave for work and so do you, so he gets his things together once you eat.
“Get dressed, I’ll drive you to Maria’s, I gotta pick up Tommy anyway.” He takes a sip of whatever juice you had left over in the fridge as you nod, finding something clean to wear before following him out to the truck.
He makes it too easy.
He smiles like everything is fine and he holds your hand as he drives.
“Have a good day at work.” You return his smile and he leans across the truck cab to kiss your forehead.
“You too, I’ll see you tonight.”
“See you tonight.” You wave at him as you walk up to the house, Tommy’s just leaving, giving you a pat on the back as he passes you before jumping in the truck with his brother. With a weak smile you watch them go.
There are no bodies today.
It’s a paperwork day for both of you. You know Maria’s dying to ask about what happened but she never does, just staring up at you every once in a while, always looking like she’s about to say something before choosing not to.
You decide to throw her a bone.
“I’m having dinner with Joel tonight.” You can’t ignore the surprised smile on her face.
“I’m glad you two seem to be getting along.”
“Yeah, apparently he got caught up in his work for a few days.” You try and get a reaction out of her but she goes emotionless, giving you only a hum in response.
You don’t try to start another conversation after that until you say good night at the end of your shift. Giving her a small wave before stepping into the misty evening air.
You keep your eyes on the trees the entire walk home but nothing seems out of sorts and before you know it you’re safe in the camper.
You’re dressed and ready to go when the truck pulls up. You aren’t sure where exactly you’re supposed to be going but you’re ready nonetheless, deciding on just jeans and a plain tshirt. What you aren’t expecting is when Joel steps out of the truck with grocery bags and a grin plastered on his face.
“I thought we could cook together.” He says as he makes his way up the steps inside.
“You know how to cook?” You try not to sound as surprised as you are but he just laughs.
“I have two kids. I know how to cook.” He sets the bag on the counter and you open it, he’s brought bread, cheese, and cans of tomato soup.
“What exactly do you plan on cooking?”
“Grilled cheese.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and any worries you had about tonight go out the window.
“You really went all out for tonight.” You raise your eyebrows at him.
He nods, searching through the cabinets for a pan and a pot.
“When you said cook together you meant you cook and I watch, right?” You lift yourself up onto the counter as he lights the stove.
“Obviously.” He sets everything down and you watch him fish around the top of the fridge for a few seconds before pulling down a rather dusty old radio. “I knew she had one somewhere.” He grins as he sets it down beside you, plugging it in and fidgeting with the knobs until the static turns into music.
You don’t recognize the song that plays but he does, as he hums along, opening the two cans, emptying them into the pot.
You had been so nervous about tonight, nightmares aside, you had expected a totally different Joel, the kind of person who ignores you for a week and expects immediate forgiveness. But instead he continues to be just Joel. Joel, who’s very presence lulls you into an overpowering sense of comfort. The moment he stepped inside the camper the entire space became heavy with his cologne, everything smells like the forest, as if you’re surrounded by pine trees and not the four walls around you.
“We should do something this week.” He turns to you as he butters the bread, setting it in the pan with a quiet sizzle.
“Don’t you have work, and Ellie?” You tear open the plastic wrapper on the cheese, handing him a few slices.
“I do, but I can get Tommy to watch her for a night.” He tosses them down onto the bread before opening a drawer, riffling around until he finds a spatula.
You hum along to the music with him when the song changes to something familiar, watching him cook.
He looks at home with you, like he belongs right here.
You both laugh your way through dinner, it’s outrageous how charming he can be, he tells you about the house he’s building, and how his brother ordered the wrong kind of cement. (You didn’t know there was a wrong kind.) And he tells you about how Ellie’s picked up some curse words, apparently there’s quite an argument happening between the Millers regarding who she learned them from.
You’ve always been hesitant to talk about work, especially on dates because you never know how people are going to react. Not everyone has the same relationship with death that you have. So when he says, how has working for Maria been? You aren’t exactly sure what to say.
“It’s good.”
“That’s it? It’s good?” He looks up at you, giving you that lopsided fucking smirk and you can’t help but just melt at the sight of it.
“We’ve been… busy, lots of work the last few days, now we’re just funeral planning, this week we’ve got a funeral pretty much everyday, Maria’s swamped.”
“What made you choose this line of work?”
You never really know how to answer that question.
“Because I like to play with dead things.” Never gets the laugh you hope for, and the real answer just makes you sad.
“I like to fix things.” You instinctively break eye contact, staring down at an uneven floor board you’d never noticed before under the table. “I like knowing that I can help people in that way, to fix them one last time.”
For a moment he doesn’t speak, when you look back up at him he simply looks at you with something that resembles yearning.
“That’s nice.”
You’re glad he thinks so.
He takes the dishes, rinsing them in the sink despite your protests.
Your palms are getting clammy.
This is, by his count, your third date.
Is it weird that this feels scheduled? It was different when you’d brought him home after your first date, that felt natural, your body innately wanted to be with him. How do you even start this kind of thing when it feels so planned? You both know what you want but it feels strange to just outright say, so is this the part where we have sex?
He dries his hands on his jeans and clears his throat as he turns back to you, holding his hand out, you aren’t really sure what he’s doing until he pulls you up from your seat, wrapping his other arm around your waist.
It isn’t the kind of song you can slow dance to, it’s fast and upbeat.
But as far as you can tell, Joel isn’t the kind of guy who dances in the first place, so you bring your free hand up to his shoulder and join him in his attempts to dance.
I heat up, I can't cool down
You got me spinning
There isn’t a lot of floor space in the camper but he makes it work by holding you close and mostly just spinning you as he nods along to the music.
'Round and 'round
'Round and 'round and 'round it goes
If his goal was to put you at ease then it’s working, any remaining nerves you have fizzled out completely. You laugh in earnest, not out of fear, as he bumps his nose against yours.
Where it stops nobody knows
Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burning flame
Burning flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher
He keeps his forehead flush with yours as you continue to sway your hips back and forth to the beat, the both of you laughing and spinning, you watch curiously as he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply.
Abra abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya
Abra abracadabra
Abracadabra
With a satisfied sigh he opens his eyes, his gaze going from simple infatuation to something darker. When the song ends he pulls you close, so you’re chest to chest and reaches over, turning down the radio.
“So…” You can’t stop smiling as you stare at him through your lashes.
“So.” He gently guides you, his hands on your hips as he walks you backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed.
“I’ve got a long day tomorrow, I should probably get some sleep.” You give him an exaggerated yawn and point at the bed, plastering a mock apologetic look on your face.
“You’re really funny.” He leans down to give you a chaste kiss before picking you up. His strength is still a wonder to you.
The way he throws you down onto your bed makes you erupt into a fit of giggles but he certainly isn’t laughing anymore as he drags you by your ankles to the edge of the mattress, a look of concentration on his face now.
“Joel!” You shriek as you hear the tearing of the zipper on your jeans.
“M’sorry.” He grumbles, making no effort to slow down as he tugs them down.
He doesn’t sound sorry.
“It’s a zipper, just unzip it for Christ's sake.” His sudden change in demeanor leaves you a little breathless, in the blink of an eye he’s gone from remarkably gentle to practically unhinged.
“S’too late for that.” He groans softly as he kneels on the camper floor, throwing your legs over his shoulders.
“You owe me a new pair-” Your voice trails off into a stuttered moan as his mouth latches onto the front of your panties, dragging his tongue over the wet spot that’s been forming all night.
“We can go to the mall sometime this week.” He mumbles against your cunt before you feel his teeth grazing the fabric before tearing it apart completely.
“Jesus, Joel!” Instinctively your hands grip his hair as he buries his face between your legs.
How sharp are his teeth?
He’s all consuming. Like he’s trying to lay claim to every single part of you. And he’s loud, it’s a good thing you don’t have neighbors. Lewd slurping noises as he laps at your dripping hole like it’s his fucking job.
He flattens his tongue, dragging it through your folds, for a moment you aren’t sure what he’s doing, but it feels fucking amazing. The way his tongue moves in and out of you, occasionally drawing a lazy circle around your clit, it isn’t like anything anyones ever done before. It takes you a moment to realize that he isn’t necessarily trying to make you feel good (despite the effect it may be having on you,) you’re pretty sure he’s tasting you.
Drinking you in. If he’s trying to get you off it’s only because he wants more.
“S’ so sweet.” He mumbles against your thigh, biting the meat there making you cry out a bit before he returns to his work between your legs.
“Joel- fuck, Joel please.” You manage to stutter out between gasps, when did he become so gruff? You never could have predicted that he would be like this in bed, his grip on you is certain to leave bruises and you can barely think straight after just a few minutes with his head between your thighs. The noises he makes as his lips wrap around your clit are down right pornagraphic. Your vision is starting to go white around the edges as he does the first gentle thing since he started, sucking that bundle of nerves almost lazily. Through shuttered breaths you manage to mumble out his name a few more times your vision whites out completely.
You’re a little surprised at how quickly he manages to pull an orgasm from you, your skin coated in a thin sheen of sweat as you sit up, pulling him up by his hair as you crash your lips against his, tasting your own slick on his tongue. He moves so feverishly as you feel his hands spreading you again, teasing your entrance with two fingers before slowly pushing them in.
“Joel- oh my god-” He silences your rambling with his mouth again, swallowing your groan once he’s knuckle deep inside you. His brows furrow in concentration as he starts to pump them in and out of you. “P-please.” You stammer out.
It’s such a sharp contrast to the Joel you’re used to, he’s so… unruly.
“So fucking tight.” He mutters before grinding his palm against your clit, pulling another series of gasps from your throat. “Such a pretty, tight, wet cunt.” He whispers against your jaw and you feel a third finger pushing into you.
You hadn’t expected him to be so vulgar, turns out he’s only all southern manners outside of the bedroom. You’re starting to see stars all over again as you feel the stretch of his thick fingers, he nips at your jaw before pressing them in deep, focusing on grinding the heel of his palm into your clit until you’re soaking his hand, hands tugging at his hair as a second orgasm is ripped out of you with a shudder. Your head falls back with a noisy whine, you can’t decide if you want more or less, his touch burns your skin but you feel so cold without it.
“Please, please Joel.” You exhale the words, scratching lightly at his shoulders with a whine.
“Tell me what you want.” His voice is lower than ever and you watch as he unzips his jeans, shoving them off and taking his cock in between his fingers, still slick with your release. Your eyes go wide as he strokes himself a few times, he’s thick, hefty, you’re trying not to stare slack-jawed at the way he fills his own hand. You grab the bottom of his shirt, pulling it off in an attempt to feel more of his skin against you.
“Fuck me… please.” You tack on the please at the end hoping he doesn’t make you wait much longer as you gawk at his pretty tan skin. You don’t even know where to look, you run your fingers through the coarse sprinkle of black and gray hair on his chest as he crawls further up the bed to hover above you.
He takes your thighs, pushing them up against your stomach, his eyes dark with something reminiscent of hunger. You hook your own arms around your knees to keep yourself in that position as he takes hold of his cock once more, guiding himself into you with a strangled groan.
“Christ…” He mumbles under his breath as he slides just the tip of himself in, your own breath hitching at the size of him. He tilts head town, pressing a soft kiss to your chin.
He splays his palms out on your thighs, leveraging himself as he carefully rocks his hips back and forth, slowly working himself into you. The camper fills with the sounds of your collective noises. Joel is loud. Grunting and growling as he fully buries himself in your heat.
He scans your face for signs of distress, tears pricking the corners of your eyes, the tiniest sting from the stretch pulls a whine out of you but you only nod as he stares into your eyes.
“More, Joel.”
Once he has your approval he starts moving, setting a pace that for a few thrusts is slow before picking up. Quickly becoming downright brutal, every slam of his pelvis against yours drives his cock deeper into you. He feels as if he was made for this, he’s just big enough that it doesn’t hurt, simply an overwhelming feeling of fullness.
Your body begins to tense up all over again, you wrap your arms around his torso as much as you can in this position, scratching at his back. He leans forward, going in for a kiss before moving around your face, kissing your jaw, forehead, nose, and temples. When he kisses the apples of your cheeks you feel his tongue darting out.
Did he just lick up a tear?
He snaps his hips forward, disrupting your train of thought, his teeth barred as he does so, eyes fixed on every one of your reactions. He’s practically snarling as you let your head fall back against the mattress, the head of his cock driving into your g-spot.
“Wanna come again already, bunny?” You make a real spectacle of yourself, hooking your legs around his waist, trying to pull him in deeper. “Greedy little thing…”
“Joel please-”
“Joel please.” He mocks. “Is that all you can say now?” You keen softly but he only grins as you tighten around him.
“P-please…” You squeak out as he snaps hips forward once more.
“Come again, I wanna feel this pretty cunt come.” He snarls against your neck, leaving a trail of bites until he reaches your shoulder, a particularly harsh bite has you crying out.
“Joel!” You grit your teeth, a wave of heat washes over you as you come one last time, you feel his tongue dragging across the bite mark.
It’s all so close to being painful.
Your stomach aches from the overstimulation, and you register a faint stinging feeling when he laps at the bite. Your walls clench around him, strangling his cock, and his hands instantly leave your legs, gripping the sheets instead.
“Fuck, fuck.” He barely pulls out in time, coming on your stomach. You reach down in your haze, scooping some of his load onto your finger before sliding them between your lips.
Fucking salted caramel.
Sweet and sticky on your tongue.
He pants above you, watching with an intoxicated look as you dip your fingers into his cum over and over again until your stomach is bare.
He nudges his nose against yours, rubbing every part of his face against you for a few minutes. It’s wildly intimate and you're once again a little taken aback by his sudden tone shift.
“Was that okay?” He drawls, once again searching your face for any indication that you might not be.
You nod, beaming up at him and letting him rest the bridge of his nose on yours for a few moments more before you slip out of his arms, stepping into the bathroom. You relieve yourself before going to sort yourself out in the mirror.
You’re bleeding.
Where he bit you, two mirroring crescents, red and angry on your shoulder, leaking blood.
“Shit.” You grab a handful of toilet paper, wiping it clean before rinsing it in the sink and returning to him.
“Everything okay?” He’s pulled his boxers on, tossing you his shirt which you’re eager to put on. You don’t want him to see the bite.
“Everything’s fine.” You crawl back up into the bed beside him.
He stays the night, pulling you to his chest and caging you in with his arms.
And you aren’t haunted by dreams.
In the morning a part of you worries he’ll disappear all over again, you’re a little surprised when he texts you just a few minutes after he drives off.
[ can’t wait to see you again soon bunny ]
Joel follows through on his promise.
A few days later he picks you up from work and drives you to the outlet mall about an hour away, saying he needs to get some stuff for Ellie as well. Apparently she likes to throw plates so he wants to find the kind that suction onto the table. As he drives the radio plays a country song you don’t recognize which he hums along to as you watch the trees outside the window.
“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about my aunt.” He turns the music down once you start speaking.
“Darlene? You probably know her better than I do.” He doesn’t seem very eager to talk about her but it only makes you want to know more.
“Doubt it. All I know about her is that she wasn’t close with anyone in my family.”
“You weren’t close? But she left you her camper.”
“That’s why I need to know anything you might know about her, I know nothing.” He seems hesitant and you’re worried if you keep pushing it he won’t tell you anything at all.
“She was a lonely old woman, had me fix things for her often, I honestly think she just wanted company.” His voice softens a bit as he says it.
“She didn’t have friends here in Honey?”
“Not that I know of, she was a bit of a shut in, sweetest woman I’ve ever met, just a bit… skittish. She worked from home and I’m pretty sure someone delivered her groceries. The only time I ever saw her outside was when I was fixing her roof and she sat in a lawn chair to talk to me while I did.”
“She worked from home?”
“Yeah, something on her laptop, I’m not entirely sure.” You’ve never seen a laptop.
You’ve been living in the camper for nearly six months and you’ve never seen a laptop.
But that’s not what interests you the most right now.
“What do you mean by skittish?” You’re trying to gauge his reaction but he doesn’t seem to have one.
“Maybe skittish isn’t the right word. Eccentric? Some of the kids in town called her ditzy Darlene.” His expression sours as he says it.
“That’s horrible.”
“It was.”
“Why?” He seems more reluctant than ever but now you’re just upset on behalf of the woman who left you everything.
“She fed into a lot of the legends around town, and didn't seem to have any hobbies outside of monster hunting.”
“Monster hunting?”
“She was the only local who went to the gift shops, searching for a monster she swears she saw.”
Sounds familiar.
“Did she ever find any?”
“Monsters?” He laughs. “Not that I know of.”
“Did you think she was crazy?”
“I think she was lonely, and I think when you spend that much time alone your mind can wander.”
“But did you think she was crazy?”
“No.” He puts an end to the conversation by putting the truck in park. You hadn’t even realized you were there, the outlet mall is so small. His southern manners remain persistent as he jogs around the truck to open your door for you, holding onto you to provide balance as you hop out.
You aren’t sure where anything is so you just follow him, taking his hand in yours as you walk. He takes you into a clothing store you don’t recognize the name of and waits patiently as you try on a few different pairs of jeans. It’s been quite some time since you’ve bought new clothes so you get a few pairs, you’re worried it’s boring for him to just wait outside the changing room but when you walk out with three pairs slung over your arm he still looks happy as can be. When you go to pay he opens his wallet, silencing your protests with a reminder that it’s his fault you needed new jeans in the first place.
After that he takes his time, the two of you walk hand in hand through each store, he doesn’t even look around most of them, seemingly content with just spending time with you.
He manages to find a few rubber bowls with suction cup bottoms for Ellie as well as some spanish flashcards and you decide to get a pair of blue hiking boots, if you’re gonna be walking everywhere you might as well be comfortable.
At the last store you stop at you find a nice perfume, spraying a bit into the air and inhaling. It reminds you of springtime, it’s light, floral, but when Joel catches a whiff of it he scrunches his nose up.
“You don’t like it?” You set the bottle back down.
“I like the way you smell now.” You frown, trying to remember what shampoo and body wash you’ve been using. If you recall correctly it’s just some generic brand you’d bought ages ago.
“I didn’t know you spoke spanish?” You remark, pointing at the bag containing the cards, opting to just change the subject rather than give yourself a headache trying to remember.
“I don’t, but Sarah does and she’s been insisting I teach Ellie while she’s gone, something about it being better if she’s bilingual.”
“I think that’s sweet.” You swing your arms a bit, keeping his hand in yours as he walks you out of the store and in the direction of the truck.
“Of course you think it’s sweet, you're not the one with two daughters who will be using their secret language against you.” He takes his keys from his pocket, clicking the unlock button.
“It’s not a secret language, if your baby can learn it then I’m sure you can.” He helps you up into the truck once more, shutting the door behind you.
It’s almost comically difficult to keep your hands off him when you’re alone, especially now that you have a taste for him. Even just being in the truck with the windows up is suffocating, the smell of his aftershave or his laundry detergent drives you mad the moment you’re stuck in an enclosed space with him.
You slide across the truck so you’re in the middle seat as he pulls out of the parking lot. It’s like you feel sick when you aren’t touching him, like you’re suffering from this barely noticeable nausea and you don’t realize you were even dealing with it until it’s gone.
You watch curiously as he keeps one hand on the wheel and brings the other to rest on your thigh. His shoulders relax the moment he does, his frown lines smooth themselves out a bit.
He’s just so warm, and he’s so nice to be near. Today he smells like a candle you used to have, something you lit around Christmas time. He smells like cookies and peppermint.
You can’t help but turn your head a bit, trying to discreetly inhale the scent of his jacket.
To say that Joel Miller becomes the perfect boyfriend would be an understatement.
He drives you to work, he sends you flowers, (which gets confusing in a funeral home.) he holds open doors, and he always texts you back.
Quite literally everything gets better once he’s back in your life.
You don’t get anymore mangled bodies, only a few from the nursing home and one from a nearby hospital, it’s mostly just funeral planning these days. You see Joel daily, Maria and Tommy seem a little surprised every time he dotes on you and you can’t help but wonder what he’s done to earn such a reaction, but he’s so sweet you hardly care. Between both of you working and him having a toddler you’re shocked he makes as much time for you as he does. You see him every morning when he takes you into work but he also insists on seeing you twice a week, whether it’s going out, or ordering in, or just dragging him into your bed, he always makes time for you.
You even spend a little time with Ellie. Joel spends a lot of time with her at the funeral home so you often see her in little doses, she seems indifferent towards you which worries you until you realize she acts that way towards everyone but her father. It’s remarkable to watch him with her, he’s soft with you but with her it’s something else entirely. She sticks to him like glue and you’ve never once seen him look bothered by that fact, you assume she’d get bored just sitting in his arms but she never does. He likes to tell her jokes and you aren’t even sure she understands them but without fail she bursts into a fit of giggles every time he gets to the punchline.
It’s good with him, everything is easier. Everything just sort of makes sense with Joel and for the first time in a long time everything feels right.
Until the morning you wake up, a sticky feeling between your legs and an ache in your belly.
“Shit.” You roll out of bed, quickly shedding your clothes, tossing them into the laundry bin before texting Joel.
[ hot date idea for us, you drive me to the laundromat and then watch me do my laundry ]
Setting your phone down you hop into the shower, washing away the blood with a groan, you spend far too long under the water, when you finally step out and check your phone you’re running late, you pull open the curtains a bit to see if Joel’s already waiting for you but much to your confusion you aren’t met with the familiar sight of the truck.
You had never really discussed him driving you to work; it was just something he’d started doing, you probably shouldn’t have expected it to be a permanent thing.
You haphazardly pull yourself together, tossing on whatever looks clean before grabbing your phone and bag, rushing out the door.
The cool morning air stings your face as you quickly walk down the familiar gravel driveway towards the home, you’re already preparing your excuse for why you’re so late but Maria doesn’t even notice as you step into the office, she’s busy on a call.
You recognize the look on her face, she’s talking to a family. You step inside, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from her desk as you wait. She seems to be at the end of the conversation.
You couldn’t be more grateful that she takes care of telling the families. You’ve never been good at that kind of thing. She hangs up with a gentle, goodbye, smiling up at you as you try and imagine a situation in which your job was to deliver such terrible news.
The ache in your stomach snaps you back to reality.
Fuck. You forgot to bring anything.
“Any chance you have a pad?” You give her an apologetic look.
Based on her expression you’d think you’d just asked her for a lung. Several emotions flash across her face in an instant, but mostly she looks like someone who just solved a riddle that had been plaguing them for quite some time. She snaps out of it quickly though, giving you a curt nod.
“Of course, let me just run upstairs.”
It’s an older man, graying and wearing what is obviously hiking gear.
Poor guy.
He’s torn apart, the worst you’ve seen so far, his limbs have all been individually torn off, they lay, separated from the rest of him on the table.
It’s an open casket so you’re gonna be down here all day.
You text Joel one last time before setting your phone down.
[ gonna be pretty busy all day, got another bear attack, i’ll call you when i’m on my way home. ]
With that you get to work, putting on your gown and gloves, and starting at the torn clothes. It’s hard to figure out where his clothes start and his skin ends with the condition his body is in but you manage to cut him out of everything so you can properly assess the damage.
You’re getting used to seeing these messy wounds, the sight of torn flesh. It should be a pretty easy job all things considered. He’ll be in a suit so you’ll just reattach everything and no one will ever have to see the extent of his wounds.
You check everything twice, making sure that you’ve got the left and right correct before you start sewing things back up. You try to mimic the way you saw Maria do it, careful and practiced stitches.
You finish the legs easily enough, both had been ripped off just above the knee, you’re about to start on the arms when you drop the needle in surprise.
How didn’t you realize this before?
You’ve been preparing these bodies for weeks now and you’ve never once noticed one harrowing detail. You’re used to tending to bodies that have already seen a pathologist. Bodies with their organs in a bag, with their blood drained, ready to be prepared for a funeral or cremation. And you’ve been so focused on doing a good job to impress Maria that you’ve failed to take note of the most obvious thing before you.
There’s no blood.
None of the bodies you’ve tended to from the bear attacks have blood, all of their organs remain intact but because Maria declares cause of death you know she doesn’t drain them. You’ve drained everyone who hasn’t been sent in from a bear attack.
Maybe Maria drained them before you got in.
But that isn’t possible, you know that, you’d have seen the equipment, and you’ve gotten bodies straight from the scene, already drained.
You reach over to grab a scalpel off the table.
You shouldn’t do this. You could probably be fired for it, but as long as no one finds out you’ll be fine. All the damage to this cadaver has been done to its limbs, so hypothetically, if you were to slice open his chest you would see blood, dried or otherwise.
So you do just that.
You carve out a small, clean, incision vertically on his sternum.
Nothing.
You’ve got a pen flashlight that you shine into his chest cavity only to find his organs. Dry.
He’s been completely drained of his blood.
You stitch him up quickly, finishing the job as swiftly as possible before running up the stairs, mumbling a rushed excuse to Maria before running the entire way home.
Joel doesn’t text you back.
This isn’t happening, not again, he wouldn’t do this again.
You feel like you’re gonna be sick.
An image flashes through your mind.
Joel.
Lips curled back in a snarl.
No. That wasn’t real, it was just a dream. Although the line between the two has been getting blurrier.
Joel isn’t out there draining people of their blood, that’s absurd, even if he goes missing and those dates happen to coincide with the days that you get bloodless corpses.
It’s a coincidence.
Or it isn’t.
Maybe for one second you should just let yourself consider the possibility that something is terribly wrong.
You thoroughly check the two bodies you get the next day.
They come in together, a couple from out of state hiking in the park. Neither one of them bleeds.
The day after that you wake up early and walk to the funeral home as the sun rises. You watch the hearse wheel in the body, and you make sure you’re the first person to see her.
A tragically beautiful woman who appears to be in her late forties, maybe early fifties.
None of her wounds are bloody, and when you open her chest cavity it’s like someone drank her insides with a straw.
You’re nearly at your breaking point, nothing you’re looking at makes any sense.
You spend that night in bed, unable to sleep as you try and figure out what the hell is going on.
Joel doesn’t answer your calls.
He doesn’t respond to your several angry texts.
And something deep down within you tells you that asking Maria would be a mistake.
You’re completely alone on this.
So you call Maria and you tell her that you’re sick and won’t be in tomorrow. Then you look up the bus schedule in and out of town.
The bus comes in and out of Honey twice, every other day. Lucky for you, today is one of the days the bus will be there in the morning, and return in the evening.
The bus stop is empty when you arrive, the misty morning air clings to your skin as you stare out into the surrounding forest.
Something is out there.
And you’re gonna find out what it is.
You can’t keep being afraid, this is your home now, and you won’t be driven away by some imaginary monster.
It starts to drizzle when you look out the window of the bus, watching Honey disappear behind you.
You have a plan.
Well sort of.
You’re going to find some literature on the subject. You’re sick of feeling crazy so you’re going to prove yourself right. Something is very wrong in Honey, and monster or not, you’re going to figure it out.
You don’t catch the name of the town you end up in, you just get off at the stop that looks the most tourist friendly, assuming that there has to be a book store somewhere in town.
You only have to walk main street for a few minutes before you find it.
It’s a quaint little shop tucked in between an attorney's office and a gift shop.
Betty’s Books
Dimly lit and jam packed wall to wall with books, a small elderly woman sits behind the counter, reading a Stephen King novel.
“Excuse me?” You clear your throat as she looks up at you over her wiry glasses.
“How can I help you?” Her smile is warm, it fills the entire shop with an aura of comfort.
You’re going to sound ridiculous. And the moment you do this you’ll be speaking it into existence.
You don’t have any other options.
“Do you have anything on local urban legends?” You try not to sound too ashamed but her smile never falters as she points.
“Back left corner, dear.”
“Thank you.”
“Let me know if you need anything else.” She’s already buried her nose back in her book before you turn towards the rest of the shop.
You begin searching the shelves for anything that could possibly help you, there’s several different books on bigfoot and the loch ness monster. There are a lot of empty spaces between books and you have to assume that this is what most tourists are buying.
People in search of ghosts and myths.
Are you any better than them?
Running out into the darkness, looking for a monster you very well may have made up.
You look through a few more options before finally settling on a thick, leather bound book, you pull it from its place and stare down at the embossed cover.
A Beginners Guide to Cryptozoology : West Virginian Monsters
You aren’t going to find a better place to start.
You move back towards the front, stopping in front of the children's section.
Lullabies & Poems for Bedtime
A rabbit with a pocket watch, asleep under a tree, adorns the cover.
Ellie might like that.
Even if you’re madder than hell at her father.
You grab the little white book, setting both onto the counter, paying before stepping out into the rain. You’ve got hours until the bus back to Honey returns so you quickly make your way to a diner across the street, keeping the books tucked into your jacket.
A little bell chimes as you push the door open, sitting yourself at one of the free booths you set the books down on the table.
The waitress brings you coffee and water as you set your jacket aside, you order a plate of fries just to give you something to do as you watch the rain on the diner windows for a bit.
Eventually you know you can’t put it off anymore so you open up the book and sit back, taking care to read every single page, not wanting to miss a thing.
The first thing you learn is that there are a startling number of unnamed monsters.
It covers the basics in the first few chapters, mothman, bigfoot, chupacabra, and werewolves, but the second half of the book is entirely monsters with no names, only ink drawing accompanying the descriptions. For a while you find nothing, eventually ordering a milkshake which you sip as you skim the pages.
After two hours you’re about to give up when you stumble across a page that finally shows something familiar.
A drawing of a body, mangled, with wounds you recognize.
Five slashes across the chest, both arms completely torn off.
This creature is thought to reside only in heavily wooded areas, it was speculated to be located in the southern United States for several decades before disappearing completely.
Since then people have claimed to have seen this creature in many different locations although the majority seem to be centralized to the east coast of North America, resembling a lich, or a wendigo.
When you turn the page the illustration of the monster stares back at you.
It’s hard to make out what’s what and it looks mostly like inky scribbles but within those lines you see the creature you’ve been imagining. Long, sharp limbs, massive shoulders, and a face almost reminiscent of a humans, everything is just… distorted.
While technically unnamed, there are many unique pieces of folklore attached to this specific creature. Witnesses claim to have seen this monster transform from human to creature and vice versa, as if they walk among us in their free time.
What sets the creature apart from many other creatures of this variety is their affinity for humans. More often than not we’ve gotten reports of these creatures seeking out human mates.
We have several different claims from people saying they’ve seen the transformation happen right before their very eyes. One man claimed to have watched his sister in law turn at Thanksgiving dinner. Another says that he saw a cousin's boyfriend disappear into the woods during a wedding, transforming into a beast as he did.
According to old legends there is thought to be a connection between these creatures and their mates, quite literally bonding them in blood. The males are believed to be linked to their human mates menstrual cycles; if they have one, the females are linked to their own. There are many different descriptions of what this means for human mates. Some believe that when this creature comes in contact with their mate that they permanently revert to their human forms. Others believe they’re hunger for flesh only grows after coming in contact with them.
But most believe that they eat their mate. Plain and simple. That their blood is more potent to them than anyone else’s, so much so that any love they may harbor for them is irrelevant, they are simply blinded by their bloodlust.
Its victims often resemble that of an animal attack. Bodies torn apart, mangled, often believers of this legend are ‘disproven’ because of this fact, but there is always one thing that separates this creature's kills from that of an animal. Animals who eat their victims will do exactly that, eat them, this creature does no such thing, while it does massacre its victims it will rarely consume its flesh, preferring the taste of blood.
There have been no confirmed sightings of these creatures and we have been unable to trace its origins or obtain any photographic evidence, maybe it really is just an animal.
Monster or bear? It’s up to you.
It’s up to you.
You slam the book shut.
It’s nonsense.
Joel isn’t some blood drinking, period monster. But you came all this way, looking for a monster, and seemingly you’ve found it.
You pick up the little book for Ellie, taking a sip of your coffee.
Maybe it’ll make you feel better.
You open it to find a familiar little song on the inside of the cover.
I know you,
I walked with you once upon a dream.
You flip through it, mostly admiring the beautiful illustrations, they look like watercolors. There’s a frog with a crown, princesses with flowing gowns and witches grinning up at you from the pages. It isn’t until some random page in the middle that you actually stop to read the poem. The drawing accompanying this one isn’t colorful, only black ink, a drastic change from everything so far.
Jabberwocky
By: Lewis Carroll
It unsettles you to look at so you focus on the words instead. You know this creature, it’s from Alice in Wonderland. The poem is whimsical, you can imagine a child finding it rather entertaining should a parent read it with enthusiasm. You don’t have a parent reading it to you though, you’re alone, staring at the lines that have caught your eye.
Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
No more books today.
When you check your phone there are no new notifications. So Joel is either a terrible boyfriend or a potential murderer.
How comforting.
Fuck it.
You click on his contact.
[ TEXT ME BACK RIGHT NOW. OR WE’RE THROUGH. ]
Monsters aren’t real.
Joel Miller is just the worst boyfriend (soon to be ex-boyfriend) on the planet.
It doesn’t help that you catch a glimpse of a tampon wrapper in your bag when you throw your phone back into it.
It’s a coincidence.
You can’t say anything to anyone about this, how would it look if ditzy Darlene’s niece showed up and started spinning stories of her own? You can’t do it, you know exactly what people would say. They’d say it ran in the family and they’d find a reason to be cruel to her even in death.
So you take the bus home in silence.
For the next few days barely speak to Maria other than polite greetings, you’re certain she doesn’t notice, both of you are swamped. You’ve got a body everyday the rest of the week and she’s up to her neck in paperwork.
And Joel never texts.
Maria’s juggling Ellie and trying to fill out papers when you get in the next morning.
“Thank god you’re here, can you run upstairs and grab something for me, there’s a little makeup bag on the counter in the bathroom, I forgot it earlier and I’m waiting on a phone call regarding the couple we had.”
“Of course.” You set your things down before reaching for Ellie. “Here, let me take her so you can do that.”
“You’re a lifesaver, thank you.” Almost as if on cue the phone rings the moment she says it. You head towards the stairs, the toddler in your arms scrunches up her face as if trying to recall your identity.
“You know me, silly, I’m friends with your daddy.” At the mention of her father she seems to relax and you open the door at the top of the stairs.
You’ve never actually been in this part of the house before, you’ve always stayed in the business section. You don’t get a chance to look around, the bathroom is the first door on your left. A bag the size of a pencil box is on the counter, you hand it to Ellie, her little hands play with the bag as you carefully bounce her in your arms.
“Do you know where your daddy is?” You poke her in the belly making her smile at you for the first time. “Not gonna snitch?” You tickle her side, earning a tiny giggle. You let her play with the zipper as you bring her back downstairs. “Any bodies today?” You yell as you descend the stairs.
“Had a cremation from the home this morning, I’ve just got a lot of papers, I’m planning six funerals simultaneously right now.”
Six massacred corpses in six days.
“Where’s Tommy?” Ellie puts up a bit of a fight for the bag but you set it down on the desk just in time to watch Marias grip on her pen tighten.
Yikes. Must be a sore spot right now.
“He’s got a work thing, left me with that little monster.” She uses the pen to point at the toddler who’s already starting to get antsy in your arms.
If you’ve got no bodies today you might as well offer to help.
“I can watch Ellie if you’d like.”
“Really? You don’t mind?”
“Of course not, want me to keep her upstairs? I’m sure you don’t want me watching her in the basement.” You laugh a little as she nods.
“You really are a lifesaver, I don’t know how I managed without you.”
“Oh stop, you clearly did just fine before I came along.” Your face gets a bit hot at the compliment.
“I’ll be up in a few hours once I finish up here, you two have fun.” She doesn’t give any instruction beyond that so you just take Ellie back upstairs. You haven’t spent much time with her beyond the small interactions in passing but you know she doesn’t like doing nothing unless it’s with Joel. She’s trying to get out of your arms the second you’re at the top of the stairs. You set her down in the entryway and she’s already running into the kitchen.
You don’t want to snoop but you actually get to take a good look around as Ellie settles in front of a pile of notebooks and a mess of crayons on the kitchen floor. It’s a pretty open floor plan, the kitchen and living room are all one big room and from the looks of it they must watch Ellie often, an outsider would assume they have a child of their own. A play pen is set up on the floor of the living room and toys are scattered everywhere.
“Are you hungry, sweetie? Do you want something to eat?” There’s different snacks on the counter as you walk over to where she’s playing.
“Yes please.” Her voice is clear and high pitched, you’re actually a little surprised, you didn’t even know she could talk, she’s always silent when you’re around. There’s an assortment of different things on the counter so you just find something that’s already open. Handing her a little container of apple puffs, she doesn’t look up from her drawings, just blindly reaching over and grabbing a handful as you sit at the counter to watch over her.
She’s a very well behaved baby all things considered.
You have to stop her from drawing on the walls a few times and at one point she stuffed a handful of food between the couch cushions but other than that she’s rather relaxed. She sits and draws mostly, only occasionally getting up and doing a few laps around the room before returning to her papers.
At one point she makes her way to where you’re sitting, slapping your leg to get your attention until you pick her up, she points to the window above the sink and when you take her there she simply stares out at the trees.
She’s focused on the woods as you watch her expression, her face is oddly serious.
After a few minutes you set her down, unease filling your body. She doesn’t seem to mind though as she runs back to her drawings, you return to the counter, checking your phone for a few minutes until she appears in your peripherals once more, tapping your leg again, handing you one of her drawings.
At several different moments this week you’ve thought that you’ve reached your breaking point.
None of those compare to how you feel when you pick up the paper Ellie had been scribbling on.
It’s crude and mostly indiscernible but you know exactly what you’re looking at.
A monster.
A broad shouldered, sharp toothed, crayon monster.
You stare at the little girl, trying to keep your composure as you pick her up, setting her in your lap and pointing at the mess of scribbles on the page.
You feel crazier than ever, asking a toddler for help but no one else is around and you’re running out of options.
“Can you tell me what that is, sweetie? What did you draw?” You hand her the drawing back which she crumples a bit in her fist before setting it on the counter, you point again at the creature. “Ellie, honey, can you tell me what this is please?” You’re doing your best to keep calm as she kicks her legs a bit before staring up at you with a frown.
“Daddy?” For someone so small she speaks so loudly and clearly, but you just shake your head.
“I know, honey, you want your daddy, I wish I knew where he was but you’re stuck with me today.” You smooth out her hair a bit as she scrunches up her face, looking rather upset.
“Tío.” She points down at the drawing before looking back at you for approval, you just smile. You feel like an idiot. Asking a child for help. A child who can barely speak.
“It’s okay, you’re too little to understand.” You hold her under one arm as you walk around the counter to the fridge. “How about I get you some juice.”
You find a clean sippy cup, pouring her some apple juice before setting her back down, handing her the cup and searching through your bag.
“I almost forgot, I got you a present.” She perks up immediately, setting her cup down as you hold the little white book out towards her.
“Thanks!” Her eyes light up as she takes it from you, it’s one of the few times you’ve seen her smile without her father being in the room, sitting on the floor before looking back up at you, tapping the spot next to her until you sit as well.
“Do you want me to read it to you?” You watch as she sets it down in front of her, she’s surprisingly gentle as she flips open the cover.
“No thank you.” She’s enraptured by the illustrations, not caring for the text, laying down on her stomach, and sitting up on her elbows as she slowly flips through the pages, her eyes wide as she points out everything she sees to you. You rub her back, nodding along, you’re mostly just happy that she’s excited.
She kicks her feet as she explains the big red bird on the page to you. After a few more minutes of her babbling she turns the page again.
Jabberwocky
She giggles wildly as she points at the page and suddenly you’re filled with dread all over again. She’s positively captivated by the drawing, refusing to turn to a different page when you urge her to move on.
You don’t speak again until Maria comes upstairs to check on her, when you do it’s to tell her you aren’t feeling well, and you’re going home.
You’re going on a monster hunt.
There’s nothing left to do. You need to soothe your fears before you lose it completely and you aren’t going to stare at the trees and wonder for the rest of your life.
You stop at one of the tourist traps in town, you need supplies for tonight.
A camera.
It’s an easy in and out stop. You buy a polaroid camera, and several packs of film.
No one will believe you otherwise, you’ll be ridiculed the same way they did Darlene. You think of her as you walk back home, what if she was right about everything? She spent her life in fear of a monster no one believed in and they mocked her for it, and at the end of the day she might have been right.
Maybe the monster is real and it isn’t Joel.
Either way you’re going into the woods tonight. Your backpack is packed with the essentials, your water bottle, camera, an extra film pack, one of the knives from the kitchen (wrapped in a towel,) and a flashlight.
Once you’re packed you put your boots and jacket on and head out.
It’s like everything quiets down the moment you step outside. The forest hums, beckoning you in, and how could you refuse such an offer?
You manage to keep your hands steady as you flip the switch on your flashlight, stepping into the trees. It feels so much colder now than it did when you were walking home.
With dusk settling the sun is no longer there to keep you warm or to guide your way. You haven’t actually seen much of the forest, so you decide to walk in a straight line to avoid getting lost as you carefully step over a tangle of roots. As a child you loved nothing more than playing in the woods behind your house. But after just half an hour in these woods you suddenly resent the trees, they no longer bring you any comfort as you carry on into the cold dark night. You’re just about to give up and turn back around when suddenly something changes.
Without warning and with seemingly no cause you feel a chill rush through your body, your hair standing on end. Your blood runs cold and you hear a sound you’re all too familiar with at this point.
The tearing sound rips through the air.
Your instincts tell you that you’ve become prey rather suddenly in this situation but you can’t turn back now, not when you can prove to yourself that you aren’t losing it.
As quietly as possible you reach back into your pack, grabbing the camera already loaded with film and holding it in your free hand. The beam coming from your flashlight trembles slightly as you carry on towards the noise.
It’s louder than it ever was in the dreams. In the dreams it was subdued, almost as if you subconsciously knew that it couldn’t hurt you. As you carry onward you can’t help but wonder if you’re just imagining it at this point. It doesn’t seem to get louder as you walk. It simply fills the air completely, you’re being directed purely by your instincts. You know it’s this way as you move forward a few more steps.
You scan the trees with your light, seeing nothing out of the ordinary until you finally see it. Your finger instinctively flips off your flashlight.
You almost didn’t catch it.
But your legs keep moving and you get closer and closer to the hunched figure.
It’s hard to describe, like your eyes don’t want to accept what you’re seeing. A voice in the back of your mind tells you that you’re getting too close but you can’t seem to stop yourself as you carry on until you can get a good look at it.
You can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as you realize it isn’t Joel. But that relief only lasts a moment as you see what you’re actually dealing with.
You aren’t sure how big it is. It’s big. That much is clear but it’s crouched down, it’s almost human, it may have once been human. You’re having trouble making out most of it in only the moonlight. It’s less broad than the illustrations you’ve seen, almost slim, with how close you are now you can see that it’s eating.
A buck, one of the biggest ones you’ve ever seen is splayed out across some rocks. It’s stomach has been ripped open. You watch, with morbid fascination as it digs its maw deeper into the gore.
How curious, it’s wearing clothes. Or at least the remains of some clothing, a bit of fabric clings to its crooked spine, it wears the tattered collar of a shirt like a necklace. Navy blue sweatpants stretch around the creature's waist, the fabric pulled taut, it looks like they make it just past its knees. The elastic around the ankles has snapped.
The funniest part of all of this is that you feel nothing but fear for the creature. You aren’t disgusted and you certainly don’t hate it. You’re just afraid, so afraid that before you can slap your hand over your mouth you burst into a peal of laughter.
Fuck.
It all happens so fast, you aren’t ready in the slightest to be face to face with it and suddenly you are, purely on instinct your hand twitches and with the flash of the camera you get a single moment to stare at it.
It’s so close to being human.
It’s mouth is too big, a blood soaked tongue falling past a row of jagged, pointed teeth. It’s almost like someone stretched out a person's face like it was made of clay. And it’s male. Intricate branching horns stretch out from under the hair crowning its head.
“The doe’s don’t have antlers.”
Your dad was a hunter, you know your antlers, you aren’t exactly sure but if it was a deer it would be a thirteen pointer. You should run, you’re about to but then you finally look it in the eye, just as the final remnants of the camera flash flicker out.
There is something worse than hunger, or thirst, or rage in its eyes, if that was all there was you could scream or cry. But this leaves you frozen in place.
Recognition.
Like it knows you.
And the moment it recognizes you it snarls, an ear-piercing sound that rips through the quiet of the forest, blood spewing from its maw at you, flecks of crimson tint your clothes and hands as your eyes go wide.
It’s a good thing your legs move faster than your brain, you’re already sprinting away from the creature.
You lose your flashlight almost immediately but you know where you’re going, you couldn’t be more thankful for your decision to go in a straight line. You don’t stop moving, running blindly back the way you came, never once daring to look behind you.
You know it’s there, you can hear it, and you can feel it.
Its breath is hot on your heels, you can hear the branches splintering directly behind you. Everything is a blur, stray branches sting your exposed skin but you don’t stop, you can’t, your muscles ache as you push onward, keeping your hands out in front of you to guide you through the darkness until you finally see the road up ahead.
You’re nearly there, almost feeling relief, almost.
An icy hand wraps around your ankle, you’re yanked backwards before you can process what’s going on, your back dragging across the forest floor and in an instant you’re beneath it.
This is it.
You wanted a monster, you got one. And now you’re going to die for it. It snarls as its maw falls open, you’re face to face with a row of shimmering, gore smeared teeth. This is it.
He smells like cinnamon.
It tilts its head ninety degrees, its jaw closing in on your throat as you close your eyes, tears now flow freely down your face and finally you can’t contain your terror anymore.
You scream.
A trembling shriek falling from your lips and much to your confusion a killing blow never comes. After one more shuddering breath you open your eyes only to find you’re just staring up at the trees. You sit up, still out of breath.
He’s a few feet away now.
Thrashing around frantically as he stumbles backwards. As if your scream had upset him. He bellows, his twisted hands clutching his skull like he’s angry with himself. You cover your ears instinctively when it snarls in pain.
He can’t help it.
You’re scrambling to your feet once more, giving him one final glance, you look into each other's eyes.
“Run.”
It speaks.
You break into a sprint once more, not daring to stop until your feet touch pavement. You don’t get the sense that you’re being followed anymore but you’re still in shambles. The adrenaline is slowly starting to fizzle out and you’re painfully aware of the wound you sustained during that encounter. Your ankle is torn up, two deep gashes from where it grabbed you are bleeding an alarming amount. You stumble, the sight of it making you nauseous.
You get a moment's respite and you manage to compose yourself enough to retrieve your phone from your pocket. Walking backwards, keeping your eyes on the forest as you slowly continue to back away. In your desperation your blood stained fingertips frantically swipe across your phone screen, you don’t realize until it’s too late that you’re calling the only person who isn’t going to answer.
Yet when you bring the phone to your ear you hear a click.
“Joel?” You can’t fucking believe it. He actually picked up.
“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” He can definitely hear the panic in your voice.
You just break down.
“I’m by the road, on the way from Maria’s to my camper, I- I need you to come get me, please, it’s- it’s following me, but I think I lost it please, Joel.” You’re in hysterics as you catch a glimpse of one of the few streetlights down the road. You hear the sound of keys and you swear you hear Maria saying something in the background but you’re too frenzied to focus on that.
“Who’s following you? Stay right there m’on my way.” You can hear the truck starting in the background as you keep running, not daring to stop even though it doesn’t feel like you’re being pursued anymore.
“The monster… in the woods… it’s not a bear Joel.” You’re out of breath when you finally stop, standing in the middle of the road underneath the street lamp, spinning around to try and somehow keep an eye on all of the darkness around you.
“Stay where you are, I’ll be there in two minutes, okay? Stay right where you are.” You’re about to beg him to hurry when the line goes dead.
You must look like a mad woman. Standing in the middle of the street, covered in blood, and spinning in circles to try and keep an eye on every single direction as you listen for any signs of movement.
Your heartbeat never slows, you can hear it pounding in the crushing silence that surrounds you.
It only takes a few minutes before you see headlights approaching in the distance. You don’t even let the truck come to a full stop as you open the door and jump in, closing it behind you as you scramble towards Joel as if he could protect you from the goliath you saw in the darkness.
“Drive! Now Joel, go!” You yell as he accelerates just to the point of following the speed limit as he heads towards your camper.
“Bunny, please, calm down.” He wraps the hand that isn’t on the steering wheel around you but you shove him off, sliding back to the other side of the truck.
“Don’t tell me to calm down, Joel, not after what I just went through, I saw it, a real monster grabbed me.” You’re stumbling over your words, trying to get them out as quickly as possible.
“Slow down, just tell me what happened.”
“I told you on the phone, I just found a fucking monster, Joel, that’s what happened.”
He’s gone silent now.
He probably thinks you’re crazy.
That’s fine. You know you aren’t, you saw it, watched it feed. There’s deer blood on your boots.
“You didn’t see a monster.” When you look he’s shaking worse than you are. You don’t dare turn your head further but you watch in your peripheral as he grips the steering wheel, his knuckles going white.
He’s lying.
Why would he lie?
“I did, I took a-.” You reach into your bag and your stomach fills with dread as you realize you dropped the camera.
“You didn’t. You’ve been spending too much time alone, and you shouldn’t be going out in the woods by yourself to begin with.”
“And who’s fault is it that I’ve been alone?” You snap.
He doesn’t have a response to that. And you don’t have anything else to say, not like he’d believe you if you did. You should probably break up with him, for several reasons.
Except you can’t.
If you do, how will you stop people from being needlessly murdered? He may not be the monster, but he knows something, and you need to find out what it is.
So you’ll ‘forgive’ him. Again. Because you need to get to the bottom of this.
And maybe, despite it all, you’re still terribly attached to him. He keeps disappearing, without warning and with halfhearted excuses as to why and all you can think about right now is how badly you missed him, and how badly you need him.
“Does Tommy have Ellie tonight?” You mumble, trying not to sound too irritated.
“I was stopping in to see her before leaving her with Maria for the night when you called.”
“Why?”
“I was gonna come over here and apologize.” He sounds just as sincere as he did last time but you still scoff.
“What’s the excuse this time?” When you turn to scowl at him he looks guilty.
“I was out of town on a work trip.”
“And you couldn’t answer your phone.”
“I forgot my charger at home.”
It’s a preconceived lie. You’re certain of it based on how quick he replies, and it’s not even a good one. He could have borrowed a coworker's phone or bought a new charger; it wouldn't have been difficult. But he doesn’t want you to know where he really was.
Every bit of this confuses you.
You saw something in the woods, but it wasn’t Joel? Joel was with Ellie and then he was with you, he couldn’t have been slaughtering lost hikers. It doesn’t make sense. One thing is for certain though, and it’s that you can’t break up with Joel until you know what's going on or more people are going to be killed by that thing you saw in the woods. You aren’t really sure what to call it, but you know that you found the thing that’s been killing.
And he knows something about it.
He had no reason to get as rattled as he did if he didn't know something about what you saw. So you can’t break up with him, not until you figure this all out. Until then you just have to play the part of a clueless, loving girlfriend. Which shouldn’t be too hard considering the fact that for some reason there is still a sick and twisted attraction to him despite everything you know, settling in your stomach. You bite your tongue, going the rest of the short drive in silence. When he finally pulls up to the camper the engine goes quiet as he turns the key. You had no intention of inviting him in but you won’t stop him if he follows.
You slam the truck door shut, stomping up to the door, his footsteps following close behind.
“Let’s talk about this.” He reaches for your arm as you’re unlocking the door but you just shove him off. You leave it open, kicking your shoes off as you slip out of your jacket as you flip on the lights.
“I don’t want to talk.” He shuts the door behind him, you note that he locks it behind him.
How presumptuous.
Correct, but presumptuous.
“You’re clearly upset, bunny.” He kneels down, untying his own boots before kicking them off. You glare down at him until he stands, trying to pull you into his arms but you just shove him away again. His eyes go wide as he takes you in.
Based on his reaction you really must be quite a sight.
“Jesus, you’re a mess.” He looks genuinely concerned but you brush it off.
“Thanks.” You scoff but when you look down you realize you’ve been leaving a trail of blood in your wake.
“Do you have a first aid kit?” You should send him away. Tend to yourself and go to bed, but instead you just point to the cabinet containing the kit, sitting on the table as he retrieves it, tossing it down beside you. He doesn’t ask what happened, grimacing as he lifts your leg to examine your ankle.
He doesn’t need to ask, he knows what happened.
He tends to your wounds in silence. You wince as he wipes the lacerations on your ankle, they look bad enough that you consider just going to the hospital but he doesn’t seem too worried. They’re just shallow enough that you don’t think you’ll need stitches.
You don’t watch as he sprays it with antiseptic, quickly wrapping it in a layer of gauze and then bandages.
When he’s finished you’re ready to get angry with him all over again but the moment you open your mouth to yell at him he grabs you by the chin, taking a clean piece of gauze and gently dabbing the thin cuts that litter your face.
You stare up at the ceiling light, refusing to meet his gaze.
He tends to every one of them, taking extra care as he smears ointment on each one. When he’s finished he takes anything bloodied and gathers it in his hand, standing to toss them into the bin under the sink. You don’t turn, but out of the corner of your eye you see him bring his hand to his mouth.
Your blood.
He tasted your blood.
You can feel the bile rising in your throat but you just swallow it back down.
“Now we can talk.” He makes his way back over to you but you just shake your head.
“I already told you, I don’t wanna talk.”
“Bunny-” He takes another step towards you.
“Shut up.”
“Don’t be like that.” There’s real remorse in his eyes, you might even feel bad if you didn’t know that he was lying to you.
“Shut. Up.” You push him so he stumbles back onto the bed. “I’m not crazy.” He props himself up on his elbows to look at you as you say it.
“I know.” He sounds almost apologetic.
“Take your clothes off.” You mumble, already tossing your shirt to the side.
“Are you sure?”
You’re sure that he knows what’s out there in the woods and he isn’t telling you.
“I am.” You kick your jeans off to emphasize your point. You know he won’t deny you this. Whatever sick, unexplainable force pulls you into his arms affects him as it does you. You don’t just want him, you need him.
You hadn’t realized it until he’d disappeared again, but now you couldn’t be more aware. It’s as if your entire life you’ve felt wrong. You’ve been in a state of discomfort for as long as you can remember, like a vital part of you was missing. But you got used to it, and you learned to live with the odd sensation of never feeling like you're in the right place, nowhere ever felt like home.
Joel feels like home, in a sort of twisted way.
From the moment you first saw him everything cleared up. It was like you had finally found your center of balance, and when he disappeared he took all of that with him.
This is more than just attraction.
With that he tugs his flannel off, you grab the bottom of his shirt, impatiently pulling it up over his head, not wanting to look him in the eyes, you stare at his shoulders as you climb up onto the bed, straddling his lap.
“I really think we should talk-” He starts again so you reach behind yourself, unclasping your bra, glaring at him as you let it drop.
“Then talk.”
He looks at you like you’re something to eat.
“That’s not fair.” He finally manages to pull his gaze off of your chest, looking you in the eyes, his pupils swallowing his irises leaving you to stare into the darkness of his eyes.
“There’s nothing to talk about, you went away for work and you forgot your phone charger.” You reach between the two of you to remove his belt, tossing it behind him on the bed before trying to unzip his jeans. “It was just an unfortunate series of circumstances.” You grumble before lifting yourself off his lap so he can shove his jeans off.
He’s glaring at you now. Good. He should know that you’re challenging him. Everything from this point on is a game, you just have to catch him in a lie. You grind down against the straining fabric of his boxers, hands on his shoulders to balance yourself as you rub yourself against his clothed erection, drawing a hiss from between his teeth. Before you know it his hands are gripping the hem of your panties.
“Go on Joel, rip them off. I know you’re plenty capable.” You say it like the accusation it is. He’s strong enough to do a lot of things, you aren’t sure if tearing a person in half is one of those things but you’re determined to find out. He knows what you’re implying but he does it anyway, grabbing the fabric on either side of your hips and easily tearing them to shreds.
“You don’t know what you do to me.” He murmurs, leaning forward to press his forehead to yours.
You do.
He does the same to you. A carnal desire, your most basic human instincts are reduced to nothing the moment your skin is against his.
You don’t waste any time, slipping your hand under the waistband of his underwear, watching his cock spring free, slapping against his stomach. You unceremoniously spit in your hand before taking him in your fist, watching his jaw go slack as you rake your nails against the underside of his cock, feeling him twitch in your hand. You keep your eyes trained on his face as you notch him at your entrance, tilting your head to the side as you hesitate.
The veins in his neck jut out as you slide the head of his cock over your clit, hissing softly as you do.
He’s purposefully showing restraint.
He clutches the sheets, his knuckles go pale and you can’t help but wonder if he isn’t touching you because he’s worried he’ll hurt you.
“Fuck me, Joel.” You lean forward, biting his stupidly plush bottom lip. He doesn’t move his hands from where they are and you can’t help but scowl against his mouth.
He’s holding back.
He knows exactly what you’re doing and he’s trying to prove you wrong. How long has he been holding back?
In one sharp motion you slide down on his cock, forcing an obscene moan out of yourself, but it isn’t loud enough to cover the ripping sound. Your eyes wander downward, his are rolled back but all you can focus on now is your torn bed sheets in his clenched fist.
Holy hell.
“Fuck. Me.” You rasp out, lifting your hips again before dropping them back down. His head falls forward this time, his mouth latching onto your shoulder, muffling his growl.
You know that growl.
“Fuck me or leave, Joel.” You take his face in your hand, roughly pulling him back so he’s eye to eye with you.
You heard that growl in the woods less than an hour ago.
“You’re playing with fire, bunny.” He glares at you but you just stare right back.
“I won’t say it again.” You give him one last warning and he finally brings his hands to your hips, with a grunt he lifts you up, slamming you back down on his cock, you can feel him brushing against your cervix as you cry out.
At his age he shouldn’t be able to do that.
He does it again, moving you like a ragdoll up and down on his length, a lewd squelching fills the air, egging him on. He tilts his head down, his teeth scrape against your breast, and you can hear a roar building in his throat. He fucks you like a fleshlight, moving you effortlessly up and down on his cock, your chest bouncing with each thrust.
He shouldn’t be able to do any of this.
Neither one of you speaks, you can feel the camper swaying ever so slightly as he slams into you, thrusting his hips up to meet yours as he pulls you down onto him.
He makes it look effortless.
Another growl rips through the air and you know neither one of you is gonna last long if he keeps going at this pace. He hammers into your sensitive spots with every thrust, your clit rubbing against the dark curls along his pelvis.
He’s merciless with the force at which he moves you, he’s started nipping at your shoulder and you know he’s close as they get harder and harder. You finally feel him break the skin and just like that he’s lifting you off of him, his mouth clamped down on your flesh, you feel his cum between your legs as he finishes on your folds. The sensation of him slipping out of you sends you over the edge right along with him, your stomach tightening as you groan, letting your head fall forward onto him.
You feel better already.
Not good, just better.
He manages to keep you both upright for a few more moments before collapsing down on the mattress with you in his arms.
And then it’s just quiet.
Until the mattress squeaks as you get up. Wiping yourself off with a towel and turning the lights off before returning to bed without a word. He’s the one who finally breaks the silence.
“If you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”
“You can stay.” You mumble, rolling over to face away from him.
It’s better if you know where he is.
That’s what you tell yourself.
It’s easier to swallow that excuse than the truth, that you can’t shake the terror from your encounter with the creature and now amount of fucking is going to change that. You don’t want to be alone, no matter how angry you are. He doesn’t seem to take the hint though, snaking his arm under yours and pulling you to his chest.
You start to push him away but you feel a wave of calm wash over you when he does so you just settle back against him. You close your eyes, praying sleep might come but all you see in the darkness is that open maw closing in on you.
You know that growl.
It isn’t Joel. It can’t be Joel, he was with Ellie and then he was with you.
It wasn’t Joel.
You’re more than used to waking up in the woods at this point. Monsters and men torment you in your dreams whenever they get the chance to.
But tonight is different.
You don’t feel the cold, wetness of the forest floor on your back before you open your eyes. Instead you only feel steel, you make an attempt to sit up on instinct but you can’t. In a panic you open your eyes to find yourself cuffed to the cadaver carrier from Marias basement.
This can’t be happening.
This is the kind of dream you get after your first body.
You’ve had this dream, years ago when you’d just started studying mortuary sciences. Although now it feels worse, more ominous than it had previously.
That probably has to do with the fact that you can’t move.
In response to that petrifying thought you begin to uselessly tug on the cuffs, your ankles and wrists attached to the cold unforgiving steel of the table you’ve sewn countless bodies back together on.
You don’t strap cadavers down, there’s no need to.
The door swings open and you’re thankfully able to sit up enough to watch Maria and Joel walk in, solemn looks on both of their faces.
You open your mouth to call for help but something stops you.
No.
No, no, no.
Your jaw is wired shut.
The sudden realization makes you gag as you shake the table with the force of your panic.
Maria is always thorough, your mouth is full of cotton.
They act as if you’re as lifeless as any other corpse as they stand beside you, despite your muffled screaming, tears immediately flowing from your eyes as you feel your throat constrict around the cotton.
“What happened to her?” He sounds so far gone even though he only stands a few feet away.
“You know what happened to her.” Marias sorrow turns to a look of resentment as she turns to Joel.
“Bear attack.” He says it more to himself than to her.
“Keep telling yourself that.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“You never do.” Her voice is full of a hatred you haven’t ever heard in reality.
She looks at you with a pity you’ve had on your own face before. It’s the same look you give every corpse on a table.
You follow Maria’s gaze down at your body and find your chest sliced open, the inside dry.
And then you wake up.
Of course Joel is there when you sit up in bed with a strangled cry, a fresh flood of tears falling down your face.
“Bunny?” His groggy, sleep ridden voice resembles a growl, sending you backwards away from him, your back hitting where the mattress meets the camper wall. He’s already up, he moves towards you but the moment you flinch away from he stops. “Are you okay? What hap-“
“Don’t come any closer.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Thankfully he doesn’t move towards you, he holds his hands up ever so slowly. He’s acting like you’re a cornered animal.
You can’t seem to find your voice. Every single logical and rational part of your body and mind tell you to get as far away from him as possible. To fight tooth and nail to get past him, to run away and never look back. You’d never get away with that though, he’s too deeply rooted in you already. He’s made for you. Sculpted by the gods to be everything you’ve ever wanted all in one neat little salt and pepper package, served up to you on a silver platter.
“Sweetheart, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He inches forward a bit but the way you pull your legs up against your chest, trying to make yourself smaller makes him move back. “It’s okay, it’s just me.”
Yeah Joel, that's the problem.
a/n : i have such mixed feeling abt this chap but whatever i really like it so ?? idk
I am no longer doing taglists so follow @lincolndjarinnotifs and turn on notifications to be notified when new chapters are posted !!
#lincolndjarin#joel miller#tlou#the last of us#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#tlou hbo#joel tlou#the last of us hbo#monster fucker#monster lover#monster romance#oh honey#fic : oh honey
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M*A*S*H 4077 & DND
guess who started their m*a*s*h rewatch around the same time they've gotten into d&d and now cannot stop thinking about the utter chaos and hyjinks of The Gang trying to play a campaign. it starts with none of them really super into fantasy roleplay, but they're all So Fucking Bored they might as well play to have something to do.
it started off imaging just what role they'd each play, but now I couldn't stop myself from imaging each person's race, class, AND, just for fun, the dice they'd use!
hawkeye: isn't that bothered about races, probably either an elf or just a human. class is paladin, relating the paladin's 'call for good' something like the oath doctors take to always help and heal patients, no matter what (and, let's be honest, probably feeds into his egotistical nature at being a naturally skilled surgeon, as if he was 'called'). cannot be Asked to care about ability scores (only to deeply regret it when he's nearly off'd the first battle) except for pouring most of his points into charisma. mostly likely of the party to Fuck his way out of a confrontation (no matter the other's gender #bihawkrights). spends most of the campaign messing around and forgetting what his spells are, but when the party hits a serious battle, is the first to throw himself in and use any spells to help his friends before himself. originally wasn't that interested in the game, but overtime becomes one of the ones who gets really into it, screaming across the board at ppl's bad roles and cheering & trying to pick ppl up in glee when they win.
dice of choice:
(just the most wack-ass coloured dice I could find, metaphor for the inside of his brain (also this way he can tell if anyone tries to conceal any as theirs)).
radar: while interested in the fantasy stuff (being a comic reader), was a little intimidated with all the math & rules involved until hawkeye and bj convince him. part of me thinks he could be a halfling or dwarf, but then I think he might enjoy being a humanoid creature like a minotaur (farm boy) or a satyr bc of his love of animals. class is bard, where he carries/plays the drum. enjoys and gets really into the story, but is always flummoxed when it comes to the battles, asking what everyone else thinks his character should do (only for everyone to yell back several different answers). always needs a couple of seconds of mental math to add his modifier to dice rolls (me too radar) but when the party comes across a riddle or puzzle, is usually the first to figure it out. keeps trying to pick up small creatures to put them in his sack. is not allowed to talk while people make their roles bc of too many times where he's predicted the number before they can read the dice (the moment of hawkeye's saving role during a Big Bad battle was kind of ruined when radar elatedly jumped up at the nat20 before the dice even left hawk's hand).
dice of choice:
(cute little puppers!)
margaret: at first is staunchly against it, calling it childs' play, but eventually is worn down by hawk & bj and is also so bored, she gives in. thought she might be an elf, but in the end chooses genasi, picking fire power. chooses the fighter class, leaving hawkeye to make a remark that gets a dice thrown at his head. doesn't really get super into the meta of the game or the story (often tells the dm to get on with it and cut to the action) but does love to play, where it overtime becomes a good outlet for anger ('the demon tries to approach you, margaret what do you-' 'I SLICE OFF HIS KNEECAPS WITH MY BATTLEAXE!'). is a good player until the roles don't go her way ('you only rolled a 10, so your attack doesn't hit-' 'SCREW YOU! KLINGER GIVE ME YOUR 18 ROLE!'). is pretending like she isn't having fun but everyone can see through her.
dice of choice:
(these seemed the most like margaret, elegant but not too girly).
henry: is also peer-pressured into joining. picks barbarian class so he doesn't have to think about spells. tries to pick human bc all the other races were 'too complicated' but got told due to his class, he has to pick a more built character like an orc, so an orc he ends up being. but he's bad at it, often either trying to escape a battle or by being a peacemaker, trying to persuade the monster out of battle but with such a low charisma score, it usually ends up with him getting clonked over the head and margaret jumping in before he's killed. keeps trying to give his gold to poor peasants they meet along the way. doesn't understand any of the mechanics. rolls so many nat1's that nobody will switch dice with him anymore, thinking his are cursed. the game is often more stressful for him then not, but he enjoys the time with his friends.
dice of choice:
(I dunno, for some reason when I think of henry I think of a dark orange/amber).
potter: prolongs joining, thinking he's too old for it, but is also peer-pressured and eventually caves, thinking it'll be good for morale. chooses dwarf and for his class to be an old wizard. doesn't understand half the rules, spends most of the time muttering under his breath as he goes over the manual, radar (un)helpfully leaning in beside him to explain. but once he gets the hang of it is a good team member; is the only other person besides margaret to take the hints and puzzles seriously and without him (+her) the party would probably be making circles lost in some boundless woods somewhere. cheers his teammates on when they make a high roll or powerful move and only occasionally has outbursts ('well colonial sir, you need a 16 or higher to cast-' 'MULE FRITTERS! I said cast magic missile and that's an order!!!").
dice of choice:
(same thing - when I think of potter, I think a dark blue).
charles: the last of the group to get into it. completely refused and repeated that 'he was far too smart for that kids' stuff' and everyone was wasting their time. but when someone had to dip out of the campaign last minute to deal with a medical thing, charles was brought in as filler with the promise of a day's R&R. at first I thought high elf, but switched to dragonborne, of the noble variety of course. chooses sorcerer (blessed with some innate magic, as his ego prefers). constantly complains about the needless complexity of the rules and why bother having ability scores when it's the modifier that counts???? is always arguing with the dm on his rolls. uses up half of his turns to use mage hand to steal hawkeye's things or cast ray of sickness on him when he's being annoying - but, when it comes down to it, is one of the more strategic players and has gotten them out of many sticky situations. like margaret, is pretending he isn't having fun, but isn't immune to jumping up with the others over a saving nat20 role, at one time even excitedly picking up a confused radar. in the end, swallows his pride to shyly ask if he can join the party finally ('you know, it'll, uh..it will give me something to do during those boring intervals, and clearly this group needs all the brains it can get..' '..charles, you wanna come play with us?' 'well, if I must..').
dice of choice:
(the snootiest of dice, a pure gold colour).
mulcahy: also initially intimidated by the mechanics, but is happy to play a game with his friends. a possible half-elf or maybe a wise owlin. cleric, obviously. gets invested in the storyline, often applauding the dm's story or asking 'what happens next???" only to be told to wait till the next meet. one of the few who has actual healing spells and probably the only reason everyone didn't die in their first battle. a nerd who enjoys solving the puzzles. actually gets into the lore and one time had a deep, 2 hr conversation with radar & hawkeye about the disenfranchisement of some of the races and the hierarchy of the class/rule structure within the fantasy realm, and how it relates to theirs. the next day, radar came to his tent to show him a little sketch he did of his character in cleric robes, shrugging it off, but mulcahy loved it so much he pinned it up on his tent walls.
dice of choice:
(inspired by one of my favourite mulcahy lines, when he's talking about missing holding services in real churches - 'I am rather fond of stained glass', which I always think of whenever I see stained windows. tried to pick the ones that emulated the colours best (also would've liked maybe a light, forest green colour; it just feels mulcahy-esque to me).
klinger: one of the first to join bc what else what he gunna do but sit in his tent, sewing up pantyhose? rogue class, of course, relating to the 'urchin' background. changeling race, so that way with his class he can hide at any moment, and also, as he says, 'can perfectly match his outfit no matter what he looks like!' tries to follow the storyline but doesn't have the attention span for it, half the time guessing the wrong answer to any clue or puzzle (will come and poke the dm awake in the middle of the night with his patrol gun, claiming to have figured it out). second after hawkeye to try and Fuck his way out of a situation. cannot do math to save his life, making margaret often rip his dice away from him to add it herself. will gang up with hawkeye to use his pickpocket skill on charles. resourceful enough to have tricked the villains multiple times and gotten away with it but will also roll to try and kick the villain in the nuts to see what happens.
dice of choice:
(these just screamed klinger to me; I like the dark, 'masculine' colour contrasted with with the colourful flowers).
bj: thought I missed him? well, I saved the best for last bc bj...is the dm! ha ha! no one really in particular stood out, but after thinking on it, he seems like the best fit. first, I was thinking of the episode 'the kids' where he gets really into the story he's telling, full of voices and sound affects and all. and secondly, our kindly mustacheo'd doctor loves Mind Games and pranks - what better way then stringing his friends along into one big, zigzag puzzle? bj loves nothing more then having his friends on the edge of their seats, only to pull out a bad guy the group thought they got rid of months ago, glee in his eyes watching them combust into screaming and table flipping. getting a thrill during off hours, hearing hawkeye & charles hastily whisper across bunks to each other on the campaign thinking he can't hear them, or getting shaken awake by margaret in the middle of the night, demanding answers. he spends hours planning out the campaigns in the tent (and finding new places to hide his papers from hawkeye), sometimes writing peg about it and occasionally - if the timing of the mail is right - using her suggestions she writes back. but mostly, bj just loves watching his friends have a good time - cheering each other on and hollering with each battle won, feeling proud of them for everything accomplished (when he doesn't have to babysit hawkeye & charles from casting spells on each other, trying to answer radar's 49th question on how rolls work, or keep margaret from solo fighting the demon fifteen levels above her).
dice of choice:
(idk, these just feel 'bj hunnicutt' to me).
other camp members:
- frank: was only let in Once after margaret begged hawk & bj, saying it was only fair. initially picked human bc 'they're clearly the purest and most civilized race!!' (causing eyerolls), quit thirty minutes in after being told he couldn't be a fighter 'cause they already had margaret and that he couldn't just 'set all his abilities to 20', calling them all nerds and angrily throwing a d20, only for it to bounce back on the tent beam and hit him in the eye.
- some of the nurses have occasionally filled in, but otherwise don't play outside of margaret (most of their time was filled up with hawkeye using his character to flirt with theirs). one time nurse kellye filled in; she played a cute little halfling druid, and her and radar teamed up to help rescue all the forest animals, much to the groups chagrin.
- zale & igor: permanently banned. both tried to eat the dice on a dare.
campaigns are held twice a month in the swamp, with drinks and stale pretzels to go around. use to sometimes go all night but after one too many nights of clambering arguments over each other's rolls, the whole camp banded together to force a curfew. while the game only exists within the swamp's quarters, they'll once and a while jokingly call each other by their character's names (and if you're margaret, one time accidentally using it to call hawkeye to surgery, which he now never lets you live down). during the last campaign of the story, radar pulls out another drawing he did - this time of everyone's characters, standing valiantly over the dragon they slayed. it now has a place of honour hung in the swamp.
#m*a*s*h#mash 4077#mash tv show#hawkeye pierce#bj hunnicutt#radar o'reilly#maxwell klinger#margaret houlihan#charles emerson winchester iii#sherman potter#henry blake#father mulcahy#does that cover everyone?#no reason adding frank don't think anyone is searching his tag#and yes I know I forgot trapper#sorry to all the trapper girlies out there but he was never my favourite and I didn't really know what to say about him#but if anyone has any you're welcome to add on!#even for characters I've already mentioned I'd love to hear about more Shenanigans (tm)#dnd headcanon#please know that I have a bare-surface understanding of dnd so if anything sounds wrong..that's why
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Well then, lemme just-
You know how some teens try to act all tough and serious so they can look cool and "mature for their age" but in reality are a complete sweetheart (and maybe a scared cat/crybaby too lol) and all of the adults there know this bc they knew/know them since their parents had them? Yeah<3
Reader: Nothing scares me😎, I'm awesome just like that-
Kevin: Oh! Hey Y/N, how are y-
Reader: *high-pitched scream*
When Reader discovered what Bob had done it probably hit them HARD. They thought he was the COOLEST dude on the neighborhood who always gave them free food after hard days at school and would let them hang out at his work when their parents were away, now you are telling them that police discovered that he was a killer?? That gotta be a very hurtful event, especially if you are a kid.
So they kind of created this fake version of themselves to make it seem that they were over it and that it actually didn't affect them, they became this "too cool for school😎" teen who didn't have any feeling besides "chill" and "stoic". Which ends up making some of the people they grew around worried, they know why they became like this but nobody has the guts to confront them about it, knowing how the topic hurts them
Lila: So...do you want to talk about Bob-
Reader: Why would I? I don't care about what happened 😎
Lila: Well then...take your glasses off please?
Reader: 🤏😎....🥺
Bob(after escaping prison) probably wouldn't recognize them at first, only when they start to cry and beg for him not to kill them is when he notices that the teen in front of him is that kid who would always hang around when he was working. At that moment he kinda freezes, he can't believe it! They look so different! He tries to calm them down, telling them that it's only him, Bob! You remember him... right?
They just look so small and sad, there is this voice in the back of his head telling him to hug them and never let go, to comfort them like a parent comforts their child after a bad dream...and that's exactly what he would have done...if they hadn't ran away.
(idk man, just want Bob to be a platonic yandere to this teen who tries to act all tough but is absolutely terrified of him lol.)
(SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL)
(I love when anons or anyone explains and expresses their creativity and I'll make this into head canons with a tad of shitpost)
bob would have books on how to raise a teenager and other stuff. He does go out of his way to get you good animal meat sense you don't really have a wanting for it, which is fine but will the police on his ass and all
Bob does make dad jokes with a mix of cannibal humor in. Plus seeing you try to be cool but in reality a scared little kid makes him feel like a dad trying to raise a toddler who is afraid of their own shadow....he is convinced you are afraid of your own shadow, bob tries to make his house kinda child proof after hearing about how kids (which he kinda feels like you are) get hurt or almost get poisoned by things in the house or around the house so he trys everything to keep you from hurting yourself
He wears glasses....no one can change my mind, and bob does let you make friends. Well after he has you calm down after the fact he is a mass cannibal serial killer in a fucking devil costume, he is not above carrying you plus he wont spoil you a lot just at the beginning so you can at least calm down to know your not going to die....one time you went to go get a drink form the fridge at night and didn't know which fridge bob kept the drink (cause I headcanon he puts his drink and the dead bodies in two separate fridges cause he doesn't want you to get sick or just because your not use to the smell of dead corpses of victims old and new) and you open the wrong fridge and a fresh dead body falls out onto the floor your just use to it and shove the body back into the fridge and forget your drink.
Bob isn't bothered by you being gay or trans, pansexual ect. But he will need to see who your dating cause he wants the best for you....he makes "hi gay I'm dad" joke when you came out because you're his 'kid' and he will try to poke fun at any time he gets the chance, if you want to date two people that's okay but I feel like bob knows we're everyone lives in the town so he will get on his devil costume and go outside to check if your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you and if they are....then oh boy he busting in and kill them.
You guys know when your trying to show your parents something on your phone and they do that looking far away from the screen to see it?....yeah bob has to grab his glasses and does that plus when he's cooking meat he knows how to season and make good ass hamburgers
#yandere bob velseb#bob velseb#spooky month bob#yandere spooky month#spooky month x reader#spooky month pump#spooky month sr pelo#spooky month kevin#spooky month#x male reader#yandere x gn reader#x gn reader#x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere platonic#platonic yandere
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If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero
yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?
anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.
it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??
anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.
and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH
also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj
but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!
but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.
also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<
in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<
#ask#suffaru post#people including english professors have told me theyre impressed with my writing but truth is ive just been writing a shit ton of anime#fanfic for the last three or so years LMFAO
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casually leans on wall and hands you a microphone. how was the spiderverse experience i want all the deets (ive already watched it dw about spoilers👍🏾)
Ohhhh Strap in we're gonna be here for a while (Imma do this in point form for this, because so many thoughts, no energy for real paragraphs
Okay the animation. THE ANIMATION MEDIUMS. So many cool methods. I loved the colour changes in Gwen's universe. HOBIE'S ENTIRE THING, THE WAY HE'S ANIMATED OMG
Mumbattan is such a cool city, I love mashing irl cities to make one cool megacity so much it's such a lil fave worldbuilding thing of mine
Pavitr is so great, I love him, idek how to talk about him I just like him a lot. Him and his gf make such a cute pair too!
Also him saying "I don't use product, just coconut oil, prayer, and good genetics". I love him
The chai tea scene. God he's so great
THe character design is amazing and sososososo cool!! I love that we see the characters change (Gwen's hair growing longer and pinker, Miles' growth spurt, Peter B.'s bathrobe, MAYDAY's LIL SPIDER HAT THAT MJ PROLLY MADE FOR HER).
I love Pravitr's costume glowup. Thank you to whoever arranged for that.
Also, Hobie??? His lace coded boots?? His locs??? HIS FUCKING PIERCINGSSS??? HOW HE COMPARED A FUCKING VOID TO CAPITALISM??? Him taking a liking to Mayday, and straight up SHOWING MILES HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FORCE FIELD WITH A LIL SMIRK?!!! I need him. Need his gender. I love his anarchist ass.
His design really calls back to the punk scene in England, and I love the way he reminds me of old newspapers
Speaking of Hobie, holy shit that guy was flirting with Miles. I know what you are (pls Hobie do u like enbies?)
"I hate the AM, I hate the PM (prime minister probably, idk for sure) AND I HATE LABELS" I love you
Daniel Kaluuya, thank you for your service.
Also Hobie and Gwen make such a funny friendship. But I don't ship them.
The themes of growing up, and Miles' parents being worried about Miles and the people he's with...I nearly cried in the theatre, and I don't normally cry during stuff.
You can just tell that black people were making the big decisions for this movie. Aaron and Rio asking Miles why he took the braids out. Jeff and Rio being like "On time means 5 minutes early", I felt so at home watching this movie. I'm not even from Brooklyn but I just felt so at home at all the interactions Miles had with his neighbors. Even the random storeowner.
Like ppl were speaking aave, using patois, Hobie's accent. And none of that was played for laughs (except for Hobie's lingo but that's a little different bc he's British)
I love how Miles' Ganke is so different from Peter Parker's Ganke. It's such a fun detail how Miles' Ganke was like "I'm not gonna be your guy in the chair".
I love that despite the general "Canon" for Spider Man, there are some differences! I love those intricate details!
And the way the lady in the office was so hasty to force the narrative of them "struggling" when that really wasn't the case? Hit real close to home. I just love the Davis-Morales family
I love the way that the Spot isn't like a general "mildly bad" villain like I originally assumed. I really thought he'd be kind of a "setup" villain, or something that they'd have to clean up and THEN Miles would take care of Miguel and them.
I especially love the way that The Spot is someone from the first movie, who we don't even know until his backstory is brought up.
His voice is also perfect too. He sounds like a complete loser.
Miguel O'Hara. Meet me outside, I just wanna talk
No For real though, he talks a lot of shit about Miles being "The Original anomaly" when his ass needs to inject himself with some kinda spider-fluid to maintain his powers??? Mind you, he tried to force himself into a reality that wasn't his.
This guy is just an A-class hater. What do you have against Miles, honestly???
On the subject of the Spider Verse I think it's so cool how there were so many callbacks to the original canon of Spiderman! I loved seeing the og live action Spider Men in the film too!
And the easter eggs! I couldn't keep up with them all!
Also, wtf was Childish Gambino there. I mean I'm not mad, I actually found Miles' staring at him really funny
I love Issa Rae's voice! But Jessica, queen, please don't fight, you is PREGNANT
Also idk why but for some reason I thought Jessica and Miguel were married in the beginning. Not completely sure.
Gwen being like "Can you adopt me?" when first meeting Jessica...She's so real
Also Gwen is so sososososo so so trans. It's so great
THE ENDING FUCKING DESTROYED ME ARE YOU KIDDING???? 42-Miles being the Prowler?? I'M NOT OKAY BUT I'M SO EXCITED to see what happens!!
But in all seriousness, all the feelings in the movie talked about and the the things left unresolved for the next movie is just. You can tell this was such a labour of love and all the animators were so happy and excited to work on it. I cannot wait for Beyond the Spider Verse!! I'm still buzzing!!
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ok here are my thoughts on the dragon prince season 4 episode 1:
So Claudia knew/talked to aaravos for 2 years?? oh no…
i LOVE the new intro
not the step mage
high mage callum! my baby…look at my baby using magic and being a good boy
sorvus??? i know what you are
also the animation when they were walking felt a bit off, like unfinished/unpolished? no?
ok. not just when they’re walking. it gives me r.w.b.y vibes…pls no
huh, the jokes really don’t land, like not a single one…
well maybe the “eating 3 people a day joke” i liked that one
zym is coming!!!!
“when i found your body…” Claudia, my sweetheart. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU MANIPULATIVE FUCK!
wow. the viren and claudia scenes are hitting so hard. (low-key they’re the only good scenes in the episode so far..)
not amaya beating up the dancers…girl
umm anyone else saw that callum was standing like vieren used to?? when he was talking to soren?
also, protective big brother callum. we love to see it
but that scene just showed how frustrated he fust feel, rayla left and he has no idea where she is, he still has to worry about claudia, and now his baby brother is king and in constant danger.
“for now”....oh, oh no.
I don’t like how obsessive Calum is getting with magic…
Callum defenestrating himself, see now that was funny.
“happy birthday big brother” 🥺
Viren looks so done…let this man die. i think he’d prefer it at this point
terry!
“trees to meet you” does that mean callum wasn’t talking out of his ass? OR that it was so funny that the earthblood elfs decided to use it as a joke but it caught on?
“because of rayla”... I can’t do this anymore
“I don't even know if she’s alive” see this last scene is what i love about the dragon prince! please let the season be like that!
again, the comedy is eh, but sorvus in the background are really giving “boyfriends”
this episode feels so disjointed, like, I like the claudia and vieren stuff, A LOT. but then we have “Callum's secret birthday party” and it feels like I’m watching two different shows.
I feel like this is why they released this episode a week before, so that people could watch this reintroduction to the world and the new status quo and then on the 3rd, jump straight into the actual plot.
I’m sure this episode was fun for the people who didn’t read the extra content and had no idea rayla left, and why she left, and ep.1 had this air of mystery to it (it was destroyed by the bad jokes, but whatever)
and again the animation, it was weird. bc some scenes looked really pretty and exactly like the old style. but some…well, early rwby would be an insult, but it was off-putting.
#the dragon prince#tdp#the dragon prince netflix#the dragon prince season 4#tdp netflix#tdp season 4#tdp season 4 episode 1#tdp callum#tdp soren#tdp ezran#tdp corvus#tdp rayla#rayllum#callum season 4#tdp claudia#tdp viren#aaravos
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Can I just say I wish I could have done halloweekend with the f1 frat
Carlos is making out with some girl while a different girl in a costume that clearly goes with his is standing 100 feet away, pouting
Jack and Liam are working the door, telling guys they’re not allowed in if they have full face masks
Lando’s going outside to make sure the entire pledge class of girls he’s befriended make it in
Pierre’s locking his bedroom door so that people don’t see his big room (perks of being president) and decide to put coats there (he will take his girl’s down there, though, since he asked her to be there and doesn’t she look so pretty and it would be a shame if she froze in her little costume on the way home tomorrow morning)
Max is doing the absolute least, literally just wearing some jersey and saying he’s a football player or whatever
Charles has charmed some girl into cuddling with him on the couch even though he’s wearing that stupid banana suit he loves so much
Daniel has the biggest smile on his face when he sees his girl show up in her Princess Peach outfit to go with his Mario outfit, even when she rolls her eyes upon realizing that he’s actually given himself a mustache for this
halloweekend with the frats would be so crazy. the house would be filled to the brim. and the theme would be so cringey like "boos & booze" or smth like that
you've got everything down to a t babe, esp the pierre part. as someone who has fucked with a fraternity president for almost a year, i can attest that he had that door locked at ALL times. and we were together, i would so easily get the key to (1) put my stuff down and (2) use his clean bathroom. so you're soo right about that. and something about lando being friends with a whole pledge class of girls is both so funny and accurate. you know he's gunning for sorority sweetheart.
i think that max could go either way-- either super lazy or super into it. it depends on what the brothers bring to the table. but i can soooo see max in some kind of animal onesie, getting fucking WASTED. and by the end of the night the onesie is down + tied around his waist bc he's a sweaty drunk mess.
amen amen nonnie you really HIT with this brainrot fuuuuuck
#if i didn't have so many reqs i sooo wouldve done a frat halloweekend thing but alas here we are#a-nonnie#frat talks#greek row: brainrot
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Opla hits different than other live action anime remakes mainly bc it's actually good but it's also just fun. I mean, there's no rush w the pacing (which is impressive considering op is like 1000+ episodes/chapters/movies) and the set design looks so incredibly good like I actually want to go there and see n walk the ships irl fuck Disneyland pirates of the Caribbean bc they actually look cool and habitable and full of character and made with passion. And don't get me started with the acting!!!!! They all did a fantastic job bringing the cast to life down to the smallest detail (dyed hair, not wigs!/ in character having fun like it's anime expo/ their expressions n voices were on point) and yeah they changed a bunch of stuff from the original writing but it works!! Thr villains have more personality and the fight scenes are awesome (seriously!! Plus Nami actually fights instead of running!! She kicks ass w her stick) and the translation from goofy cartoon antics to live action netflix drama actually fits seamlessly, well rehearsed and just the right balance. Costume design again, is fantastic, I want to cosplay now. I'm living. We love to see it
#I could go on but yeah#op#opla#one piece#one piece live action#mllkwrds#ugh it's so good#haven't finished it yet. will keep posted
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Yeah! The g3!! I know it has certainly been a uhhhh controversial topic lol
Imo draculaura looks sooo cute
Certainly lolll
You know how it goes I'm gonna ramble again so I'll put the read more thing for the sake of scrolling past it 😭
Well I'll start off by saying that, in this era of reboots and mass adaptations of every mildly old franchsie ever, is kinda impossible to avoid negative reactions from the people who were fans of the first generation of such franchises, because it happens, when someone takes something you grew up with and changes it to a modern audience most people's reaction will be "what in the world that's not how it was back in my days" + the phenomenon of older generations not liking the stuff that comes all for younger generations and etc. And I mention all of this bcs this definetely affects how people's opinions on things such as design (of MH in this case) go, there's lots of strong biases in this conversation of reboots and all
And tbh I wasn't immune to that 💀 at first I didn't like a lot of small decisions they made because I was used to the old one and "the og's always better" type of opinion, monster high was a big part of my childhood and probably a big boost to my interest in art! Which is what I live for baisically nowadays so ofc I felt strongly about it 😭 but when I came back after some time I realized, hey it's not that serious. I don't even remember specifically what those things I criticized were about, so that's an indicator of how much I actually cared, deep down lol. Like, pink Lagoona did not kill me, can you believe that? /s.
My opinion as of now, is that I think the g3 designs are really cute on their own!! I'm gonna stop myself from comparing it to the first gen because for the most part that's a waste of time and also a huge tangent from where I want to get 😭 recent reboots are a product of this era and they adapt accordingly. Sometimes they hit sometimes they miss, I think g3 mh is going well mostly!
(Talking about the concept designs and doll designs in this part) g3 takes from general modern fashion, clothing-wise the characters are not draaastically different from each other, they all just dress like how teenagers nowadays do but each got their own little motifs to their wardrobes. I don't think this "lack of difference" between each other's outfits is an enormous one nor is it inherently a bad thing because hey, if it looks good it looks good, and you can distinguish their clothings between one another just fine imo. In some cases I got some nickpicking in terms of "the pattern of this shirt is not working with these pants" or "whoa there's a lot going on with these colors" or "they really love to put bright pink lipstick on everyone huh" but it's rarely something I heavily dislike (only cases I can remember are that I wasn't a fan of was Heath 💀 feels like halfway through the process of his design mattel said "no you can stop now he's good like that" nothing is happening with that look, it's crazy, what happened to my boy. And Twyla, that wasn't as bad a s Heath's, but it just didn't work for me)
I can't say anything about the quality of the material of the dolls themselves bcs I don't have any of the new ones but oh my god, I also think Draculaura is adorable 😫 I think Venus dropped too recently and I'd buy her for sure!! The braided hair is everything and her fashion sense is probably one of my favorites so far? I also love Abbey's doll, and Frankie too especially that one line that they got a guitar? Instrument? Rockstar theme I think? (I'd cosplay that, no joke) from what I can see the designs are putting a lot more variety on drawing and sculpting different body types, features and details on the dolls and I think that's super fucking awesome! G1 also experimented with facial features and details on the body every once in a while but not as nicely done as now!
For the animated series I understand they had to tone it down to some extent because inserting all details the dolls and concept art had could lead to technical trouble (I think), so it isn't fair to compare them to one another. I'm just gonna ignore the animated series in terms of design for now, cause it's in the dolls and in illustration that a franchise like monster high work best anyway. I don't think much abt the cartoon tbh and I'm also not up to most episodes, idk who else dropped recently. But honorable mention, in the standards of the animated series my favorite designs are Deuce and Medusa for sure
That's long enough of a post so I'm gonna stop right hereeee, this was more of an overview of the g3 as a whole rather than ratings of each character, but yeah! I'm no longer a hater, I'm ok 👍 (if you're one of the people who heard me extensively complain over g3 before in another social, honestly I don't even know what it could have been about but you know what, disconsider it, it's easier that way 😭) I may have more opinions about it but that's all I could remember for now. Also my brain is fried.
And I can always change my mind on this, so there's that! Someone get me a Venus and Frankie doll rn please and thank you
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NEW KINNIE ALERT 😍
SHE LOOKS SO CUTE IN THIS PHOTO
but omg she's just like me fr. Shes a black girl who goofs off a bunch, is overly kind, loves snacks, compassionate, easily amused/distracted, a bit naive LIKE SHE HITS THE FUCKING NAIL (in her PCFS asks vid she also seems to be good/have a liking towards art. LIKE ME)
She also seems a little autistic imo which makes me extremely happy bc I also think I am too, making her relate to me x 1000
Hell even the big boobs and big hair thing I used to relate to (I shaved off my hair 🙁 USED TO HAVE SUCH A NICE AFRO THO IT WAS HUGE)
I have a bunch of kins but she's def one of my top ones, and why I especially like her is because you don't see black female characters in media with a more sillier (WITHOUT coming across as the "funny black friend" character trope), kinder and overall different personality,, more than the stereotypical rude/"ratchet"/"ghetto"/loud/impatient ones. A huge reason on why I respect Erica from TETOCU so much too, because she falls so far away from the typical black girl stereotype and actually has a personality. WHILE BEING HIGHLY INTELLIGENT AND GIFTED AT THAT 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Growing up as a black girl these types of characters are so fucking important to see. Its a very small selection and I just named 2 characters, but again there's not much to choose from (and it's just especially great when the one you relate to actually looks like you. It breaks the harmful stereotypes and show that we as a race and gender obviously have a diversity of different personalities).
Shes great :)
Another thing I love is how she's in a anime-esc series, which as you probably know we're not too greatly represented there either. And the fact that it's a black man too who made all this,, it always made my heart so happy bc growing up a black person with alternative/nerdy interests (such as anime and even drawing/animation/art in general),, that was seen as lowkey impossible for some reason. Bc I guess to most; black people only like rap and stuff.. 💀
@emezie
#black girl#black women#black media#black characters#black character tropes#porkchop n flatscreen#pcfs#mouse pcfs#emezie#chubby mermaid#we love maus in this house#mandy madison#autism#autistic#autism coded#black girl characters#black people#black struggles#relatable#black nerds#erica tetocu#tetocu
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HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK
anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]
DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM
under a cut because these got LONG
MORI
first impression
honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .
impression now
i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!
favorite moment
honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me
outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him
idea for a story
genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up
unpopular opinion
uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him
favorite relationship
HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses
favorite headcanon
uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this
TECCHOU
first impression
genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"
impression now
i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw
favorite moment
every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)
idea for a story
oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all
unpopular opinion
i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him
favorite relationship
EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD
favorite headcanon
he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA
FYODOR
first impression
i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???
impression now
still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!
favorite moment
YES. /j
in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh
the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me
time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene
ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM
idea for a story
oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug
unpopular opinion
hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI
(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)
favorite relationship
fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)
favorite headcanon
UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move
i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)
actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it
#xanbox#bsd#mori ougai#tecchou suehiro#fyodor dostoevsky#originally in the mori unpopular opinion one i remembered the word thats not abstract mid sentence and then i forgor#feel like these arent very good sorry JAYAUIHASIJFHAJKSFD#been writing for like 30 minutes im so fr#xanthinks
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I’m so SAD. And the thing is that Yes RT as a Company was not fair to many of its employees. But what the people who are cheering the ending of it don’t seem to grasp is that it was still a job. Being able to Leave a bad company is so different from no longer having a job at all bad or not. My mother recently went through the same thing and I’ve been very stressed about money and trying to figure out transport bc she’s my ride as I wait to get my license (disability issues catching up to me darn these eyes)
And then I haven’t seen it a lot thankfully but people who are happy with the idea of a rwby reboot? Taking out all the emotional connections we are NINE SEASONS into a story that when we left it was in its FINAL ARC. I don’t have a source so take this with a grain of salt but I swear I remember Miles or Kerry saying that rwby was pronouns a 12 volume show to get it to its end when someone asked how long it was gonna be. This was way way back so I apologize if this isn’t true or real. But even without that v9 left us with a clear Location and we had Goals and new lore to implement. If not three more volumes at lease two or a SUPWR long V10.
The idea of Starting Over makes no sense. There is nothing to reboot bc it’s not finished. Had we all the money and time in the world I could MAYBE see volumes 1 and 2 getting an update and polish, combining the short two part episodes into one and ADDING some team bonding stuff. But post V3 when all the bigger stuff hits the scene (not to mention all the lovely slowly building stuff from V1 and 2 that we see carried throughout) rebooting is Stupid. Bc we still wouldn’t have an ending. CRWBY through the ages knew where the story was going. They have an ending. They know the beats they want carried out. I can’t imagine any other voice actors for the girls OR REN FOR THAT MATTER MONTS VISION MY ASS HIS FUCKING BROTHER JUST LOST THE RIGHTS TO LITERALLY CARRY MONTY IN REN it makes me so mad. The idea that a company with enough money for WB to accept would turn it into some Flashy Fight Scenes and snappy one liner thing when rwby has always been about love and community and determination and spirit.
V4 felt different bc Monty was gone. Not because the show Fell Off. it has its slow parts like any show ever animated or otherwise. But the idea of someone else Taking it and Turning it into something else. Where’s Monty’s vision in that if the ppl close to him never get to touch his project again? The people who made rwby what it is being locked out of it and having to see someone else play their character or change completely the path it was on?
People lost their jobs on a days notice and a passion project that spanned ten years which had love for Monty in each and every volume might never get to be finished. Or worse will turn into something different completely. And that is why I’m sad.
I hate this timeline.
I have hope that things will work out but I have to admit that hope is thin.
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hiiii can i get 5, 10, 11, 16, 17, 19, 25 for the fic writer asks :>
HOHOHOOHO thamk you for asking sorry it took me a hot minute to get back on my laptop:
5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?
LOL i love how everyone has asked me this do i come off as so bitter? i sure do lol. anyway another peeve of mine is really naff ~foriegn language~ bits esp. as like. rubbish sexy talk. people making a character go oooh ma petite chou-fleur in the heat of the moment shfgdjshds fuck off
10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?
this is a tough one! when i go hunting for fics i normally start w my Fave Character Tags (... treavor pendleton, george hodgson ao3 pages saved to my phone bookmarks smhhhh). probably dishonored fic is my fave to read actually? bc people do so much fun stuff with The World :^)
11. How do you come up with your fic titles?
normally they come from a spoken line in the text of the fic! or sometimes a bit of description... or something from the canon. like the working title for a different kind of man was "stained glass". the fics in the takes two to quarrel series were all named for lines in the fics, except for imperfect life which i lifted directly from canon text (and the series was named for a line in imperfect life)
nlwib's name comes from that one line of wallace's in game thats like - "I must prepare the mourning garments. His lordship has never looked well in black.". i often think that if i was gonna do a cleanup re-write i would just call it in black, but i did start posting it nearly eleven years ago and my Style has evolved since then lol
16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?
HFJSDKFHKS SEE MYSTERY MAN PART 2 in which I accidentally uncovered the history of one of the rl officers of the franklin expedition and have since seen real life Scholars talk abt things that were literally lost to history until i connected a bunch of dots on accident while trying to find out what early 19thc. eton was like. for a fanned fiction. me @ franklin scholars: get on my level wankers lol
17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?
TOO OBSESSIVELY and it never ends well. i am trying to hold back on this bc. drac your fics are too niche your majesty they'll kill your self-esteem your majesty. never 4 get that the only comment i got on nlwib chapter 15 was "shame it wasnt gay" :/
19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?
i don't really Edit edit? things come and go as i write, then i'll get a version i like and probably give it a once-over in the ao3 preview to look for typos.
25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.
i don't really listen to music while i'm writing bc i get too distracted! either by lyrics or A Good Bit in instrumental music lol. but sometimes I'll play a single song on repeat through the entire thing like a deranged animal. i think the last nlwib chapter was written to Paris 1919 by John Cale on repeat for abt 40 hours lmao
this is the questions btw
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S1 E40
On the Run
This episode broke me.
I am...
I....
I am a broken creature & my heart has been thoroughly stomped into the ground.
This is....this is the best episode so far....but it's achieved the status of best by absolutely tearing me apart in every way & leaving my emotions as a pile of tear soaked dust.
Okay before we get to that: I have one thing to say....
GARNET HAS MASSIVE AND PLENTIFUL BALLS. Look this post ended up being a lot more personal & emotional than this blog usually has been so I'm giving you a balls joke to balance it out. I have a feeling that there will be more emotional venting if this episode is an indicator of what the rest of the show is like: we're gonna need all the dick & ball jokes we can muster up.
First off: easily the best musical number in the show so far. Yes even better than Pearl's solo number. And I do not say that lightly. That is a tough level to beat. And they did it. Steven & Amethyst take the gold medal for best song so far. 👌
ALSO OH MY GOD THESEE SHOTS THESE COLOURS THIS DJFJFNDIFJW ITS SO FUCKING GOOD????????
WHY DID SO MANY PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE TELL ME THIS SHOW HAS BAD ANIMATION WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?????? SURE THERES BEEN SOME WONKY DRAWINGS BUT MOST OF IT HAS BEEN VISUAL GOD TIER SHIT LIKE THIS. This episode was actually quite a step up in the animation compared to the previous ones. It's like the animators stepped on the gas here. I love it.
(Hey there uh so Trigger warning for this post just in case bc I do mention the topics of self harm/self hate/passive suic*de & that kinda stuff. So if that's not your thing, I'm really sorry & I understand if you wanna just stop reading here. If this isn't a topic you like to see mentioned at all, I'll just summarize my opinion here real quick & you can click away, I'm happy you're here at all btw thanks for reading this far!! & I want you to know you're valid for feeling this way btw: Don't let anyone tell you different. Anyways tldr I love this episode & how it tackles Amethysts character & it's the best episode so far & it made me cry really really bad & I am more of an emotional mess now than I usually am.)
So getting a bit personal here: I have said many times throughout my life that 'I never asked to be born'. I still think it now.
(Side Note but oh my god the animation in this fight was fucking incredible. Holy shit. And these shots go so fucking hard they COOKED this shit to perfection.)
Ive been depressed & passively suicidal for most of my life. I honestly cannot really recall a time where I didn't feel this way. I'm just kinda used to it by now I guess.
(This shot. This frame right here. This was when I had to pause the episode to calm down from how bad I was crying.)
So to hear Amethyst say the exact same thing that I have said so many times before: That broke me. That just fucking broke me. And like it's not the first time I cried at this show so far: BUT this IS the first time the show genuinely struck an such an extremely difficult & personal chord with me, not just like being sometihng I relate to, but the chord it struck was deep & painful enough that I had to actually pause the episode because of how much I needed to process it. Like I could not pay attention with how bad it made me break. So yeah it's now score 1 for the amount of times this show has fucking utterly destroyed me. Not every show is able to get me to react like THAT. The only other show in recent memory that got that reaction out of me that I can remember at the time of typing this is well, The Owl House. To be fair I haven't watched too too many new shows but yeah. This got me crying badly enough that I had to take a moment to calm down. Wasn't expecting to have that nerve struck like that.
That just hit on a personal chord for me & just....fuck man. I know that feeling. And they nailed how it feels. Amethysts reaction was exactly how it feels for me, just outwardly anger & tears. It hurts. Obviously anger & crying is simplifying it a lot, it's a lot more than just baseline that but you get what I mean. You could tell that she was feeling that exact way. & holy shit the fact that she's been the "comedic relief" of the gems so far & yet she's had easily the most fucked up & sad backstory of the show so far. Yeah if catching me off guard & completely blindsiding me with this was the goal: Goal fucking achieved because that was like a whack to my fucking face with a frying pan.
So....like, is this gonna be a reoccuring thing? I just.....get the feeling that this is a sign that the show absolutely fucking me up emotionally may become a more frequent thing going forward. So like, if that is the case......fuck. I'm so fucked. I am going to be a fucking wreck by the end of this show. This is gonna fucking leave me a sobbing mess, isn't it? What the fuck have I gotten myself into-
I am afraid. Also I am going to need to buy more tissues.
And the scene where Pearl & Amethyst speak in the hole is some of the best writing in any CN show. Ever.
(Also to break up the depressing talk, OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT PEARL IS SO FUCKING TALL THAT SHE HAS TO BEND DOWN AND SIT STANDING UP ON HER TIPPY TOES. THAT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE I LOVE HER I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT.)
This episode was absolutely perfect.
#toasty steven universe watchthrough#steven universe#su#watchalong#cartoon network#currently watching#crystal gems#su pearl#amethyst#pearl steven universe#garnet#rose quartz#rebecca sugar#cartoon#pearl#first time watch#first watch#no spoilers#mod toasty#on the run#amethyst su#amethyst steven universe#tw sui vent#tw sui implied
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