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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for making a YouTuber feel uncomfortable?

Here me out please, before you all make assumptions.

A couple months ago, I(19F) began following a YouTuber that I quickly began to love. I won’t be saying the YouTuber’s name for the sake of protecting their privacy, obviously. I started to watch their videos(which were mainly about a story that she came up with, featuring her ocs) and enjoyed them all, enjoyed the ocs, too. This YouTuber is a relatively unpopular one, but not so unpopular that they’re obscure or completely unheard of, they’re just not one of the big names in the YouTuber community. I made a few amazing friends due to us being in the same fandom and both enjoying this YouTuber’s content. One day, I decided to write a fanfic for this person’s story featuring her ocs. I uploaded the fic to AO3 and made sure to credit the YouTuber with creating these amazing ocs. I then showed it to my few friends, who all loved the fanfic. However, one day I made the mistake of showing the fic to a mutual friend(now an ex-friend but that’s a topic for another discussion) that me and the YT both share, and she sent the fanfic to the YT without my permission. Now before y’all get up in arms, I didn’t mind at all that she had sent it to the YT, in fact, I actually wanted the YT to see. However I really wish that she had asked me first, because I would have been more than happy to show it to them! Unfortunately, a few days after I sent it to her, my other friend(let’s call her M) showed me an announcement the YT made on her Discord, in which she complained about people writing fanfictions of her ocs and “using” them in her stories without her permission. She also stated that she felt like she was losing control of her story when other people wrote fanfics of it, and that whoever wrote the fanfiction “didn’t understand boundaries”(even though she didn’t have this boundary before and also wrote in the announcement that she used to be okay with fanfics of her work, but now no longer is). I deleted the fanfic the moment I saw the post from my friend, but I was a bit disappointed since I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable and only wanted to show my love and appreciation for her story, and possibly get more people to check out her story as well. Still, I deleted the fanfic from AO3.

Now, here’s where things get interesting. A while later, I joined the YouTuber’s Discord server, where I met many people that I got along quite well with and quickly befriended. I often engaged in conversations with them about the story, and often drew fanart of my favorite character and posted it to the art channel in the server(she’s okay with fanart of her ocs, just not fanfics). Now is probably a good time to mention that while I was in the Discord server(and even before that) I often talked about the story with my friend on Tumblr(not M, these are two separate friends) who did not have Discord but loved the story just as much as I did. We often talked about the story and how much we enjoyed it, and often came up with jokes and headcanons, basic stuff like that, that any fan would do. Anyway, back to the Discord, one of the rules of the server was not to be disrespectful or rude or malicious towards other people, and another was that if you received two warnings about your behavior in the server then you would be quickly banned from the server and no longer allowed to come back. I understood this and tried to conduct myself to the best of my ability. However, one day, I found myself mysteriously unable to access the server, and when I tried to rejoin, I was again unable to. I found out that the reason I couldn’t access the server was because I had been banned due to “disrespectful behavior”, “engaging in arguments”, and making the YouTuber(who ran the server) uncomfortable. I was confused, because I genuinely don’t remember ever engaging in rude behavior with anyone. The few instances(according to them) in which I had been allegedly rude or disrespectful to people were both genuine misunderstandings, and both times I had apologized for them and did not repeat the behavior. I also did not receive any form of warning before being banned, despite one of the rules being that you will receive two warnings before being banned from the server. Still, I apologized for my alleged hostility and asked if I could come back, however the YouTuber said no, and went on to add that not only was I rude to people in the server(which, again, were both genuine misunderstandings), but that she had seen my Tumblr conversations with my friends in which I talked about her story, and said that she was “wildly uncomfortable” with how “obsessive” I was with it as well as my favorite character in the story. This bewildered me to no end because the YouTuber did not have Tumblr and had never once ever mentioned being on or having access to Tumblr, so I did not expect her to see my posts(and even if she did, I did not expect to get banned for them as they do not violate the rules of the server). It made me wonder why she didn’t just talk to me and explain to me that she was uncomfortable with me posting about her work instead of just banning me altogether and not giving me a chance to defend myself. I ended up sadly and reluctantly deleting all of my posts relating to her story, and requesting my friend to do the same. I told M about this scenario, and she was enraged on my behalf, saying that the YouTuber probably was actually upset about my having written a fanfic for her ocs, and said that she didn’t understand me being called obsessive because I acted like a normal fan would(which I agree with). Some of my other friends have sided with me as well and told me that the YouTuber was acting petty, however some of my friends have taken a middle ground. None of them entirely condemned me, but that may just be because they are biased and don’t want to hurt my feelings. The mutual friend/now ex-friend(of course) merely told me to “self-reflect” and move on from the story. Regardless, the YouTuber now has me blocked, not just on Discord, but on Instagram as well, where I also reside.

Reasons why I think I might be the asshole: I will admit that I have a tendency to really hyperfixate on things and get especially attached to fictional characters that I adore and resonate with, so I can see why that would make them uncomfortable. That being said…

Reasons why I think I might not be the asshole: I genuinely wasn’t trying to make this wonderful YouTuber feel uncomfortable or be “obsessive” with the story. I merely wanted to show my appreciation for it in a way that I thought was normal for online fans, which included writing a fanfic, drawing fanart, and geeking out about the story with my friends(admittedly publicly). I had no idea that these actions would turn the YouTuber off, and merely wanted to show how much I enjoyed the story. I also was never rude to anyone in the server and apologized whenever a misunderstanding rose up. I never tried to be aggressive with anyone or cursed anybody out or tried to have arguments with people, so I have no idea where that came from.

So, what say ye, oh wise people of Tumblr? Am I the asshole or not?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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totalswag · 10 months

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little starkey being besties with maddie cline and their always together on set

mini best friend — MADELYN CLINE

authors note thank you anon for this request, i hope you like what i wrote. just the thought of this made me so happy while writing because drew and maddie have such an amazing friendship. this is technically a madelyn cline fic/blurb btw. as for the other requests i have in my inbox, i will get to them as soon as i can. i do have a personal life outside of tumblr, please be patient. feedback is always appreciated.

summary bringing little tatum on set and maddie just can't wait to see her little best friend everytime she comes to visit.

warnings a whole lot of cuteness!!!!!

Outer Banks is filming their new season, Drew had some scenes to film and brought you and nine month old, Tatum, along to keep company and hang out with the other cast members.

"Where is my littlest bestie?" Maddie asked as she entered Drew's trailer, her eyes wide with delight.

"She's right here," you said as you placed Tatum on the carpet so she could crawl over to Maddie, who was squatting down with her arms stretched out.

Tatum recently began to crawl, which indicates that she will start walking shortly. That girl is so fascinated about everything she sees, walking on two feet will be interesting for her.

She smiled and spoke in her baby language as she crept closer to Maddie. Tatum places her left hand on Maddie's knee, signaling her want to be carried up.

"She's getting so big," Maddie says, pouting as she picks up Tatum off the carpet, places her on her hip, and kisses the top of her head.

“I know, it’s sad,” you agreed.

“I just remember when you were a tiny itty baby in my arms and now you are growing up so fast, slow down girl” you can’t help but laugh at Maddie’s comment.

Tatum just giggles.

Tatum's godmother is Maddie. You and Drew made the decision way before Tatum was born since you three have a great relationship and you trust her with your child. Tatum adores Maddie– whenever she comes into the room, Tatum gets all excited and starts talking in her baby language. Their relationship is precious. Everyone adores their relationship.

Maddie was the first one to find out the gender before Drew and you. She hosted the gender reveal party at her home, which was absolutely breathtaking. Maddie bawled her eyes out when she first met Tatum, who was wearing a onesie that stated "I love my godmother."

Tatum will want to stay in Maddie's arms as soon as she is in them whenever you go to the set to see Drew and hang out with the other cast members in general. Maddie doesn't mind being with Tatum the whole time; in fact, she enjoys it. They take videos and pictures together, which are eventually posted to Maddie's Instagram, but only with Drew's and your permission.

No matter where Maddie goes on set, Tatum is always with her. Plus, it’s good bonding time for the two. They’ll take naps together on the couch randomly. You swear they’ve met in another lifetime.

Another time, Maddie had Tatum in her sunglasses while she was strapped in a carrier that wrapped around Maddie as she drove around in a golf cart. This happens quite a lot now as Tatum got older in months.

Fans make edits, post, and talk about how adorable Maddie and Tatum’s relationship is all the time on social media. Whenever fans bring up the two to Drew and you, all you guys can say is they are made for each other and there’s no stopping in separating them.

Now, the rest of the cast get their time with the little Starkey. They enjoy spending their free time with her every second they get. They are her second family and she will eventually know that as she continues to grow up.

Drew and you always talk about how their own daughter loves her godmother more than her own parents as a joke but you know she loves you both. There’s going to be plenty of more times of Tatum and Maddie being together on set.

my taglist 🧚🏼‍♀️

@runningfrom2am @winterrrnight@brooklynscherry-z @kaydsr3venge @ikisscline

if your username is has a line through, that means your user didn't pop up.

if you would like to be added to my taglist please let me know :)

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loremaster · 1 month

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so @yakool-foolio's new fic Solar Eclipse is pretty great, and reminded me of some more art i have had stored in my vault of "stuff to post eventually"

...the whole 'pinning yakou up against the wall and taking away his cigarette' thing?

i had drawn this before the dlc came out and i imagined vivia a bit more forward in expressing his feelings (back when i had to imagine this whole relationship dynamic for myself because they put it all in the extra paid content U_U) ...which is why i haven't posted it, bc now i feel like this is ooc. oh well.

"Last night, in my Rain Code server, the notion arose that Vivia could be possessed by another spirit when he's spiritually projecting, since his body is now without a soul and is essentially a vessel. It originally started out as just a fun idea of 'what if Melami could possess Vivia to allow her to speak through him since they're both in touch with spiritualism, kinda like a Mia Fey type deal?' And then I had to make the concept of possession oh-so much worse."

...yeah i drew that too. i remember back in december, neo said this same thing on tumblr and i immediately had to stop everything and draw this. (and this time i didn't post it bc i didn't have a scanner over winter holidays rip) ...yeah. anyway this one's just an ace attorney joke, enjoy

#rain code #master detective archives #mdarc #vivia twilight #yakou furio #viviakou #vvyk #melami goldmine #yuma kokohead #...are also there

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volkodava · 6 months

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Hello my Tumblr friends! Some of you liked the idea of Postapocalypse!AU, as well as the Junpei design I drew earlier. So I pulled myself together and drew portraits for the entire main cast of characters. I must say that they here are closer to the age of P4AU. It was challenging but fun to come up with designs and backstories for them that overlapped with the originals. Although I still haven't thought through some details… But I hope you will enjoy!

FeMC/Minako/Kotone

Yes, this AU uses a female protagonist. She emerged from the Wasteland and all she knows is that she had some important mission. She is cheerful and always believes in the best. There are "XXII"-shaped scars on both sides of her head, similar to a brand. She seems to know what this is supposed to mean, but she won't tell anyone.

Status: Unknown

Yukari

The best long-range power of SEES. She lost her father due to the fault of Mitsuru's father. She was looking for Mitsuru to take revenge, but instead she found her best friend. She can often be bitchy and sometimes too straightforward, but no one heals other people’s wounds better than her. She received a scar on her face from an unsuccessfully broken bow string.

Status: Alive

Junpei

He makes bad jokes and swears a lot to hide his insecurities. Creates chaos almost everywhere it appears. He seems rude and ill-mannered, although he is a hopeless romantic at heart. But if you really make him angry, he destroys everything in his path (ask Takaya and Jin, oh no, sorry, no one will ask them anymore). Ultimately, his concern for Chidori allows him to shed his clown mask and show a different side of himself.

Status: Alive

Fuuka

A mechanic girl found by SEES in a sand labyrinth. She suffers from strabismus, but this did not stop her from completely restoring Aigis and collecting several more useful items for SEES. Has a phenomenal memory. Probably the only one who never started a conflict first.

Status: Alive

Aigis/A.I.G.I.S.

Initially, it was a cleaning robot, on which someone put a yellow wig and a ribbon. It rusted in a landfill for a long time until FeMС found it. Gradually he begins to become interested in the world around him and acquires a desire to find out what a person is and how to be one.

Status: Functioning

Mitsuru

Official leader of SEES. Several years ago, during a shelter fire, she lost her father and was injured herself. She hides the burned part of her face under her hair. She is cold and difficult to compromise, but always acts as a negotiator between gangs of raiders, trying to extract the maximum benefit. Has many useful connections in Port Island.

Status: Alive

Akihiko

Fan of fights without rules. More reasonable and less impulsive than Junpei, but if the two of them are together, then somewhere nearby there is trouble that they got into. Lost his little sister in a shelter fire and still tries to drown out those memories with alcohol. He often misses Shinjiro. Perhaps he was Mitsuru's partner a couple of times, but in the Wasteland no one cares who sleeps with whom.

Status: Alive

Shinjiro

A wandering raider that periodically joins SEES and then leaves. Akihiko's former friend. Little emotional. Lost an eye in one of the raider skirmishes. He tends to evaluate people by their usefulness to society, but in the end he admits that he was wrong too often. For some time he was dependent on Strega's help, but later this developed into enmity. Alas, this did not end well.

Status: Dead

Ken

Practically the “son of the regiment”, he was found at one of the temporary sites along with the body of his deceased mother and taken into the care of SEES. Refused to move to Port Island, choosing to stay in the shelter. Having already seen a lot of things he shouldn't have seen, he wants to become stronger to change the world. Gets close to Shinjiro, reading him as a fatherly/brotherly figure. Nevertheless, he gets very angry when he is overprotected.

Status: Alive

Koromaru

Good boy. One day he just showed up at the shelter and everyone just accepted it. He warned everyone about the attacks several times, after which he received a collar and his own bowl. A good fighter, he always follows those who go on forays into the Wasteland. Perhaps the only one who simply enjoys life.

Status: Alive

#persona 3 #persona 3 postapocalypse #minako arisato #kotone shiomi #yukari takeba #junpei iori #fuuka yamagishi #aigis #mitsuru kirijo #akihiko sanada #shinjiro aragaki #ken amada #koromaru #post apocalypse #post apocalypse au

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bellaxgiornata · 1 year

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Falling For the Devil [Part thirty-nine: "The Secret Santa"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You join Matt, Foggy, Marci, and Karen for another yearly game of Secret Santa at Josie's.

You're absolutely terrified of what might be in that little black box.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 2.6k

a/n: This is a fun and naughty little secret Santa installment with the gang at Josie's! And one of Reader's gifts certainly gets used in an upcoming smupdate... You can find the entire list of the installments for this series on tumblr here. And if you're enjoying it feel free to let me know!

Pulling the door open to Josie’s, you shivered from the contrasting warmth radiating from inside the bar with the cold December night outside. Tonight you noticed the bar was surprisingly fairly empty as you stepped inside, even if it was a Wednesday night.

You heard your name almost immediately and your attention shifted to the right, landing on your group of friends all huddled around their usual table. Karen was smiling at you, excitedly waving you over. For a moment you remembered the night you came here when you'd thought Matt had invited you out on a date, spotting all of them sitting in a similar fashion to that night. A smile made its way onto your face at how much had happened since then as you shifted the bag in your hands that was hiding your Christmas presents for the Secret Santa game. Matt beamed at you as you walked towards the group, his head seemingly tracking your movements. You smiled back at him before focusing on everyone around the table.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," you apologized to the group, sliding into the chair beside Matt as you placed the bag on your lap. "I was talking to Ellison about extending a deadline on something, it…took longer than I expected."

Matt visibly tensed beside you but he said nothing. Instead, one of his hands pushed a beer towards you on the table, the movement catching your attention.

"Already grabbed you a drink," he told you.

Still smiling, you murmured, "Thank you."

"Well at least you're here now, only thirty minutes late," Karen teased gently from your other side.

Across from you and sitting beside Foggy, Marci clapped her hands together over the table excitedly. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes while she glanced around at everyone. "So, do we all remember the rules?" she asked. "Close your eyes and no peaking when we put the gifts on the table," she reiterated firmly, her attention shifting to Foggy as she shot him a pointed look.

"Yeah, Matt!" Foggy called out.

Matt chuckled beside you, shaking his head. "Alright, you caught me. I peak every year behind these," he joked, pointing at his dark glasses.

Marci’s attention returned to you, that glint still in her eye. "Last year we went tame when you joined us for Secret Santa," she said, shooting Matt a look beside you, "because he asked us to. So we wouldn't send you running away scared." She wagged a finger at you and you felt your palms sweating against the bag in your lap. "We didn't necessarily do tame this year," she warned you.

"Well now you might send me running away," you joked nervously.

Matt's shoulder bumped yours lightly, catching your attention. You turned, taking in the warm smile on his face as he gazed back at you.

"You'll be just fine, sweetheart," he assured you.

“I already gave her a heads up,” Karen told everyone. “The other week after we drew names. I didn’t want her to be too startled and I wasn’t sure Matt would say anything.”

Marci once again glanced around the table, raising a brow as she did. “Alright, everyone ready then?” she asked. When everyone nodded she smiled. “Okay, we all close our eyes and keep them closed until all the gifts are on the table. And let’s be mindful of the drinks already on here,” she said, her attention once again shifting to Foggy beside her.

“Hey,” he said, “in my defense, I spilled that drink on myself last year, not you.”

“But it was my drink,” she countered.

One of his hands rose from his lap, patting her shoulder lightly as he smiled lovingly at her. “And if I knock it over again this year, I’ll buy you another, babe,” he assured her.

Beside you, Matt cupped a hand around his mouth and called out, “Get a room!”

Marci’s head snapped in his direction, that mischievous glint back in her eye. “You might be the one needing to get a room later, Murdock,” she teased, turning her head and shooting you a wink. And then her expression returned serious, leaving you a bit nervous at her comment. “Okay, everyone close your eyes and put your gift on the table. Not directly in front of you either!”

You joined the group in closing your eyes, hearing the sound of rustling as everyone removed their gifts from wherever they had been hiding them. You slipped your own gifts out of the bag, carefully trying not to bump into Karen too much as you tried to push it on the table away from you. When your gift was on the table, you waited patiently with closed eyes for the rustling to stop.

“Everyone’s gift on the table?” Marci asked.

A chorus of affirmative responses came from the group. Soon everyone was opening their eyes, taking in the sight of the wrapped presents before you all. The moment you spotted yours, you felt your heart speed up. It was a black box with a bright red bow on it, your name written in silver sharpie. You just knew whatever was in there was going to make you nervous to open in front of everyone.

“Why don’t we go around the table this year?” Foggy suggested. “To make it easier than trying to guess numbers each time we take a turn.”

“Okay, who wants to start us off then?” Marci asked.

Beside you, Karen perked up, practically bouncing up and down in her seat. “Oh, I will!” she quickly volunteered.

Eagerly she reached out, finding the two gifts with her name on them. They were wrapped in the most obnoxious Christmas paper you’d ever seen–vibrant elves. You got the feeling the wrapping paper was chosen either intentionally or because it was Matt and he didn’t know or care.

And neither did Karen. Tearing through the paper swiftly, she unwrapped a small box. Immediately she was laughing behind a hand as she held it up.

“Wine condoms?” she asked.

“Well hey,” Marci said, fighting down her own laughter across the table, “at least on the nights you drink alone and can’t finish a bottle, you’re still getting the opportunity to open a condom.”

You snorted loudly, throwing a hand over your own mouth at her joke. Matt beside you was laughing quietly, his shoulders shaking as he bit his lip. Karen rolled her eyes, grinning, as she focused on opening up the second gift. It was a coffee mug that she pulled out of the box next, covered in writing on one side. Her eyes scanned over it quickly before she laughed, glancing between Foggy and Matt.

“Okay, one of you guys clearly got this for me,” she said.

“What’s it say?” you asked her.

She glanced back down, reading from the mug as she spoke. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“Hmm, sounds accurate,” Foggy joked, drawing his beer to his mouth as he glanced away. “Definitely wonder who could’ve gotten you that.”

“Yeah,” Matt mused beside you, amusement in his tone, “I really wonder who could’ve gotten you that, Karen.”

“Dicks,” she joked, balling up the wrapping paper in front of her. “Okay, who’s next? Foggy?” She glanced at you and said your name, her brows raising questioningly.

Your eyes darted towards that intimidating black box and you smiled nervously, gesturing a hand to Foggy. “How about Fog goes next?” you answered quickly, hoping to postpone opening your gift for as long as possible.

“Ohh!” Foggy exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. “I am so ready for this!”

Marci slid the gifts you had gotten for Foggy along the table towards him and you watched silently as he opened the first box. Once he'd torn off all the paper on the first gift, he slowly lifted the lid. His head tilted curiously to the side as he reached a hand in and pulled out a tie.

“It’s a tie,” he said, mainly for Matt’s benefit as he sat beside you with his head cocked to the side, brows furrowed. “But I don’t quite understand what’s on it?”

He held it up to himself, as if he was wearing it, and Karen, Marci, and you all lost it simultaneously. A round of laughter broke out at the table as Foggy glanced downwards at the tie, still trying to make sense of it. Poor Matt was still confused beside you.

“What?” Matt asked. "What's so funny?"

“It–it looks like his shirt is open,” Karen wheezed out between laughs.

“And he has a hairy chest!” Marci finished, wiping tears from her eyes.

A large smile slid across Matt’s face, one of his hands readjusting his glasses on his nose. "Please don't wear that to court," he begged Foggy.

"Oh, I don't know, Matt," Foggy disagreed, grinning as he shook his head. "I look quite sexy in this. Might even give you a run for your money on court days."

You were still fighting down laughs as Karen reached out a hand, pointing to the other gift in front of him.

"What's in that one?" she asked curiously.

Foggy set the tie back down and focused on the other gift. You chewed your lip nervously as he unwrapped the paper to reveal yet another box. Carefully he opened it, and then he reached in before slowly holding up the set of handcuffs. Marci gasped excitedly beside him.

"Oh my God, we needed new handcuffs!" she exclaimed while Foggy's face reddened a bit. "We broke ours on Halloween!"

Matt cleared his throat loudly. "Information I could have done without," he said, raising his beer to his mouth for a drink.

Grinning wide, Marci reached out and grabbed the package with her name on it. It looked almost similarly packaged like the gift for you.

"Okay my turn," she exclaimed excitedly.

She quickly untied the bow before sliding the ribbon off. Without hesitation, she opened the box–and her eyes practically lit up.

"We have two sets of handcuffs now!" she squealed. "And oh, this looks fun." Her hand darted into the black box and pulled something out.

Your eyes went wide as Foggy's face further reddened, drawing his beer to his mouth and glancing down at the table. Karen was openly laughing on one side of you while Matt was sitting on the other side of you with raised brows behind dark lenses.

"Do I want to know?" he asked.

"No–" Foggy began, but Marci cut him off.

"It's one of those butt plugs with a tail–it's a pink bunny tail," she said.

Matt's brows somehow rose even higher onto his forehead as he also glanced away. Just as Foggy had done, he took another drink of his beer and remained quiet.

You, across the table, were now feeling ready to bolt. If that was what was in the box for Marci which looked similar to yours, you didn't even want to know what was going to be in your gift. You were sure you'd be redder than the ribbon when you opened it in front of everyone.

"Okay, Matt's turn," Marci announced, putting everything back into her box.

You reached out across the table, sliding the wrapped package towards Matt. He thanked you softly before he began tearing the wrapping paper open. Eventually he tore it all off, his hands fiddling with opening the box next. And then he reached in, feeling around curiously before he held up a pair of cozy socks like he always wore, except these weren't plain. You grinned at the sight of them.

"Socks?" Matt asked, head tilting to the side. "But judging by the laughter beside me, there's something on them."

"Avocados," you told him. "It says 'I want to avo-cuddle' on them."

"That seems tame after what Marci just opened," he mused, setting them down.

He reached in and pulled out a pair of boxers next. Your eyes went wide before you began laughing at what was written on the ass.

"So boxers, but clearly something is on them as well," Matt said. He turned, shooting you a smile. "I think I only trust you to tell me what it is."

Grinning, you said, "They're green with a bunch of avocados on them. But on the butt it says–" you paused, laughing, "–'Back that Hass up'."

He cracked up, shaking his head as he set the underwear back. "I'm sure you'll appreciate these, sweetheart." His gaze shifted down the table towards Foggy, grinning. "Thanks, Fog."

You bit your lip, fighting down your laughter still at the boxers and the mental image of Matt wearing them. Across from you, Marci grinned devilishly and pushed the black box towards you. Instantly your smile faded and your pulse sped up, anxiety washing over you. Beside you, Matt's head canted curiously to the side, his covered gaze landing on you. No doubt he noticed the change in your body.

"Your turn," Karen teased, placing a hand on your shoulder briefly.

Nervously you reached out and began untying the bow, watching as the red ribbon fell to the table. With shaking fingers you lifted the lid just enough so you could see what was inside. Your eyes immediately went wide, your heart somehow thrumming even faster in your chest. Karen leaned in beside you to take a peak before a hand flew to her mouth, covering a giggle.

"I don't think I want to know," Foggy said from across the table. "Judging by her face."

"I do," Matt said, leaning closer towards you, his forearms resting on the table as he smirked at you.

"Go on," Marci urged slyly, "tell your man what's in there."

And clearly Marci was the one who bought you this, judging by that coy, smug look on her face. You took a deep breath, trying to fight back the growing flush on your cheeks.

"It's uh, silk wrist ropes," you told Matt awkwardly, noticing the upward twitch of his lips. "They're red. And a, uh–" you cleared your throat, "–a flogger."

Matt's smirk only grew further on his face. Across the table, Foggy was choking on his drink. Marci clapped a hand roughly on his back as you quickly lowered the lid back onto the box, too nervous to keep looking at the items. The way Matt was staring at you while you picked up your own beer and took a few deep drinks felt like he was burning a hole in the side of your face.

"Yeah, I definitely didn't need to know what was in there," Foggy muttered.

"Maybe you should bring those with you on your road trip," Karen teased, gathering up all of the wrapping paper from the table.

Your face only flushed further at that thought.

"You know, I think I might go use the restroom," you said in a rush, face feeling as if it were on fire as you quickly slid out of your chair.

"At least I didn't go with the glass dildo!" Marci exclaimed.

A few people around the bar turned and stared at you at that particularly loud comment. Your eyes widened in horror as your friends laughed.

"Oh my God ," you muttered, burying your face in your hands.

"Yeah, Marc," Matt said from next to you with a wide grin, "you'd have definitely scared her away last year."

Marci laughed loudly as you turned, darting off to the bathroom. From behind the bar counter you even spotted Josie good-naturedly laughing at you and your pace quickened.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock series #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil x female reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #fftd

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abisalli · 4 months

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i dont know you but i thought you might think this story is funny and enjoy it, a couple days ago i was talking to my friends in a discord vc and i was talking abt your "listen i have something to tell you but this means NOTHING vis a vis our naruto argument" fanart and then went to go find it, then like 20 minutes later finally tracked it down on tumblr and yelled "GUYS I FOUND IT" and they were like "??????" and i go "that fanart i was talking abt hold on ill send the link" and they go "YOU WERE LOOKING FOR IT THAT ENTIRE TIME????" because we had completely moved on in conversation.

anyway that drawing is the funniest thing of all time i love how u drew kon byebye

Anon I love you for telling me this lil anecdote and I feel honored that you spent 20 minutes looking for that silly comic

I also feel the need to clarify once again that that comic/joke is based on the homestuck one (I’ve seen other fandom variants of it but the hs one is the original!)

Either way I’m glad you liked it!! <3

#asks #anon #it’s always wild to me when people share my art with others and like talk about it??#for me my art is in a void and maybe people will look at it for like 30s #but then it’s back in the void again #i don’t really think about my art being saved/ being inspiration/ used as a wallpaper/ etc.#that only happens to real artists! (<- is delusional)

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artthemasquerade · 3 months

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Link vs Gandalf big naturals

so to explain this shit post of a picture, Me and my gf were watching a Rom hack of Legend of Zelda and while talking about Zelda lore I keep mispronouncing Ganondorf's name as Gandalf and we had a joke about it XD to the point I was like I wanna draw Link facing off against Gandalf (the big natural meme version) https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/495/248/013.png as the final boss of ocarina of time in place of Ganondorf and thus this picture was born XD Also I do realize that I accidentally drew Link right handed when he is left handed in ocarina of time, I didn't know at the time of making this drawing so oops! XD

Anyways I hope you enjoy this shitpost of a picture and this was a fan challenge to make XD

Btw if you like what you see and want a commission drop me a direct message on tumblr, instagram, a note on deviantart or artistree https://artistree.io/missn11

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feyhunter78 · 1 year

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Hey it’s me El! Can I have a one shot where she accidentally spills drink over him where they’re children in the kings landing and she profusely apologises but he says it’s alright. An older woman comes over and Says she’s an apprentice maid so forgive her stupidness. Skip forward the years and he sees her as a matured woman and joking asks if she’ll spill drink on her again. She smiles and says if the prince wishes it and they laugh. ‘She’s been promoted she’s not that bad…’ still he becomes enamoured with her, deliberately seeking her out and having conversations with her. Rhaenyra sees him sneak out one time and confronts him afterwards and asks if he was seeing that girl. Jace looks sheepish but rhaenyra says it’s okay go to her. Cause she loved Harwin and couldn’t be with him so she hopes the same for jace.

So this was supposed to go out last night, but I guess Tumblr decided not to post it??? Anyways I loved this prompt and I loved writing for Jacaerys bc he is just such a sweet boy!!!!!

Apprentice!reader masterlist

The Servant who would be Queen

Fear rushed through you as the pitcher slipped from your small hands and landed on Prince Jacaerys, dousing him in wine. Your entire body is trembling as apologies spilled from your lips faster than the wine spilled all over the prince’s finery.

“My prince, I—I am so sorry, it slipped from my hands, please forgive me.” You stuttered out as you grabbed the cloth napkins and began to dab at his chest before realizing how improper that was and dropping them with another hasty apology.

Jacaerys looked up at you. You both were of a similar age, you ten and he ten and one. “It is quite alright.” He reassured you, giving you a kind smile.

“Are you sure? I could ask one of the servants to bring you a change of clothes or—”

He leaned closer, dropping his voice to a whisper, his hand taking yours. “Truly, you’ve done me a favor, I hate this tunic.” He scrunched his nose, which drew a giggle from you.

The head maid Marta rushed forward and yanked you away from him. “My prince, please accept my apologies, she is young and still needs more training. Forgive her foolishness.”

Jacaerys shook his head and stood, taking your hand once more. “All is forgiven, Marta, it was simply an accident.” He turned to his mother, informing her he would go change then return, before he met your eyes once more.

“Again, I am so sorry, my prince.” You said, tears in your eyes.

Jacaerys pressed a quick kiss to your hand. “Please do not fret over me, it was an accident.”

Your face warmed, and you curtsied once he released your hand. “Of course, my prince, thank you.”

Years later you see him again, a man now, much as you are a woman grown. You have finally worked your way up and been named as Marta’s right hand. Jacaerys caught your eye as you served the royal family wine, and when you reached him, he gave you a roguish smile.

“Y/N, lovely to see you again.” He said, mirth shining in his warm brown eyes.

“And you as well, my prince.” You said politely, trying to keep from showing just how handsome you now find him from showing on your face.

“I must inform you that I am not quite fond of this doublet, so if you wish to spill wine on me again, I will not be upset.”

You laughed, but a small part of you was still anxious, and you chewed on your bottom lip, not meeting his eyes. “I will if you order it, my prince, but I must say there can be nothing but perfection from Marta’s second in command.”

His hand on your forearm stopped you. “I mean the words only as a jest y/n, and I wish to congratulate you on your promotion. My grandsire tells me it is well earned.”

You ducked your head, smiling. “Thank you, I must say I have come quite far from where I was at age ten.”

“You have become quite beautiful as well, I will enjoy our trip much more knowing I will see you often.” He said smoothly, his steady voice simultaneously calming and exciting your nerves.

You finished pouring his wine and smiled shyly at him. “I will enjoy you visiting here as well.” Then you moved into the next member of his family before retreating into the kitchen, heart ponding in your chest.

Soon you found yourself in the company of the prince often. He wandered down to the kitchens, asked for you during meal times, and would try to seek you out during your free time and invite you on walks.

“And then Carina threw wine at Prince Aegon for groping her. It was quite funny, but the prince found it less so.” You recounted to Jacaerys feeling warmed by his eyes never once leaving you.

“Aegon is a pest, I despise the fact that more cannot be done to shield the servants from him.” He said, before leaning forward and plucking a stray leaf from your hair.

“It is part of the job, unfortunately. I have been lucky, thank the gods that he has not set his sights on me.”

There was a shadow that crossed over Jacaerys’ eyes, and you tilted your head in concern. “My prince?”

The shadow disappeared and he smiled brightly. “Apologies, I was lost in thought for a moment.”

“Thinking of your dragon?” You ventured.

His expression turned bashful, but his hands found yours and held them tightly. “You caught me.”

“I cannot blame you, Vermax seems to be a wonderful creature.”

“Would you like to meet him?” He asked suddenly, getting to his feet and pulling you up with him.

You froze. You knew how important dragons were to the Targaryens, and you knew a non-Targaryen should only meet a bonded dragon is marriage was imminent. At least that is what you had heard from Aemond and Aegon.

“I do not think I should—it would not be appropriate, and I must get back to the kitchen now.” You said quickly, removing your hands from his grip and smoothing out your skirts.

Jacaerys’ face fell, but he nodded. “Of course, my apologies for keeping you from your duties.”

You curtsied and rushed off before he could offer to escort you back.

“Do you not already have a servant you are terrorizing?” Aemond drawled, picking at his food.

“I have grown bored of her, but y/n, she is a new challenge.” Aegon said, swirling his wine in his cup.

Jacaerys’ head perked up at the mention of your name. This was one family dinner you had been too busy to help staff, and he missed seeing your smiles as you served his wine.

“Marta will skin you alive.” Aemond said, taking a drink of his own wine.

“I am the prince, she cannot do anything to me.” Aegon said, leaning back in his chair.

“Do not say I did not warn you.” Aemond said.

Aegon folded his arms behind his head. “It will be worth it, have you seen y/n’s figure? And she is so innocent, I doubt anyone’s bed her and if they have, it was not properly.” He chuckled. “I shall have her crying beneath me by the night’s end.”

Jacaerys slammed down his cup, knuckles white around the stem.

His mother looked up and raised an eyebrow.

He pursed his lips, eyes flickering to Aegon and Aemond before he continued to eat his food in angry silence.

It is later that night when he is sneaking through the halls intent on finding you before Aegon does that his mother catches him.

“Jace.” She said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Mother.”

“What are you doing roaming the halls at night?”

“I need to go to the kitchen?” He said lamely. He was never good at lying to her.

She smiled softly. “You are off to see y/n then.”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “I know she is a servant, and I am your heir, but I love her and I do not care where she comes from, I wish to marry her.”

Rhaenyra holds up a hand to stop him. “I know, sweet boy, and I approve.” She stepped closer, stroking his hair, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I will not prevent you from marrying the one your heart truly loves, like my father did.”

Jacaerys embraced her quickly, thanking her, before he rushed off in search of y/n.

“Prince Aegon, please, you are drunk, you must leave.” You said, trying to push Aegon away from you.

“No, no, I think it is time to see how well you can ride the dragon.” He slurred, arms wrapping around you, holding you in a vice grip.

“Please, let me go, I do not wish—” You were cut off by the sudden appearance of Jacaerys.

His curls were mussed, his night shirt hanging low, and there was a fire in his eyes. “Aegon. Let her go.”

Aegon blew a raspberry and turned towards him, keeping you in his arms. “Sorry, nephew, finders keepers.”

You barely blinked and Aegon was knocked out cold lying on the kitchen floor, Jacaerys standing above him, fists clenched.

“You hit Prince Aegon, he will think it was me, I could be killed.” You said, voice trembling as you bent down to inspect Aegon’s jaw.

Jacaerys stopped you, taking you in his arms. “You will not be blamed, and you will not be killed.”

“How do you know that?” You asked, fear receding as his warmth surrounded you.

“They will have to go through Vermax and I first. Then they will have to realize this was nothing more than a family matter. The future consort of the king will not be charged over something so petty.”

You nodded, comforted by his declaration of protection, then his words set in. “Consort?”

He cupped your face. “Y/N I have spoken to my mother and I will go to your family home and speak with your father, but I wish to marry you, regardless of what answer anyone gives me.”

Your eyes widened. “But I am a servant?”

“And the small folk will cheer when they hear one of their own will be their queen.” He said, his brown eyes filled with warmth and adoration.

“You want me to be your queen? Not the dozens of noble women who would be much better?” You couldn’t believe your ears.

He nodded. “Yes, I have known you should be my queen since the day you spilled wine on me.”

A smile tugged at your lips. “If you are certain—”

“I am.”

“Then yes, I wish to marry you as well.” You said, throwing your arms around his neck.

His entire face broke out into a smile and he kissed you. Warmth like the rays of the sun enveloped you, and you felt secure in his strong arms. You would be a wonderful pair. King Jacaerys the Strong and Queen y/n the Beloved.

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @svtansdaddyx, @fan-goddess, @dc-marvel-girl96, @shintax-error, @bellameshipper, @the141bandicoot, @the-phantom-of-arda

#hotd #hotd fanfic #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys x reader #jacaerys x you #jacaerys x y/n #meg's writing #prince jacaerys #jacaerys imagine #apprentice!reader #thanks for the request!#I hope you like it!!!#my first time Jace x reader!!!!#jacaerys fluff #anon request #mail from el

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authenticcadence18 · 3 days

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recently got an ask concerning art, instead of answering directly I wanted to talk a bit about my own journey as an artist!!!

I’ve been drawing on and off for more or less my whole life. But my artistic journey REALLY kicked off when I was 11 and caught the end of Across the Second Dimension on TV. Within like, four days of this happening, I drew Isabella over 20 times🤣. For the first time there was something I wanted to draw over and over again, I was so inspired! And Isabella is still one of my favorite characters to this day, when I want to draw she’s one of my go-tos.

From there on, I started drawing a lot more. Lots of PnF stuff of course but other things as well. Star vs the forces of evil was also a huge art inspiration for me, my style is likely a blend of those two shows.

I fell out of drawing for a bit, just bc life got busy. But!! in 2020, thanks to a certain world-stopping pandemic, I got back into phineas and ferb and started drawing again, partially as a way to cope and channel anxiety. My growth as an artist just from 2020-2021 is pretty astounding to me!!! And I grew like that primarily by drawing Phineas and Isabella over and over…and over🤣🤣. You CAN draw a ton of stuff to grow but you don’t have to to enjoy art as a hobby. Art isn’t my job, so I only need to learn as much as I need to create the pieces I want. And having that desire to draw certain characters or stories is a great inspiration to grow and expand as an artist!!

Another great catalyst for my growth as an artist was drawing thumbnails for MWCA videos in 2021-2022 (I honestly can’t remember if I drew anything for 2023, I don’t think I did tho). For the first time I didn’t have to come up with an entire idea from scratch, someone was giving me a baseline of what they wanted and I built off of that and responded to feedback. I ended up drawing things and pushing myself creatively in ways I likely never would have otherwise!!!! Like, backgrounds, I rarely draw them for myself but when it’s for a YouTube collab well I had to!! I’m really proud of all my Mwca work, heres just a few examples:

I’m 24 now, I don’t have as much time/energy to draw these days, but when I do I’m able to use those skills I gained from drawing characters I’m passionate about and collaborating with others. My advice to any aspiring artists seeing this post would be to follow your inspiration!!!! Draw the things you love. Draw them over and over. You WILL grow as an artist. You can take inspiration from artists you admire (just don’t trace their work and post it, haha!). I know I’ve done that!! It might take time. It took me, no joke, FOUR YEARS to be able to draw phineas’s head freehand in a way I liked. I just had to keep practicing and practicing till I got where I wanted to be.

I also think working with friends is a great way to grow as an artist! You of course need to be careful with who you interact with, esp if you aren’t an adult, I would not have interacted with the MWCA crew at all if I wasn’t an adult, in fact I didn’t make my tumblr and start finding online friends till I was 19😅😅. Just be mindful if you’re younger, be safe, maybe work with friends from school if you can! I used to do that when I was a teen.

#cadence rambles #art #phineas and ferb

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elodee · 7 days

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HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 8

xBCrafted x Futurama

I drew xB in the style of Futurama!

So I was unsure of what to do for xB and played with a number of different ideas. But then I started fusing him with a guardian and I though if he is a guardian hybrid, wouldn't he only have one eye?

And you know what style definitely works well with a cycloptic character? That's right, Futurama!

Disclaimer: Futurama is an adult comedy cartoon. While it does have a lot of different kinds of humor, it frequently features adult jokes/themes and is definitely not PG.

I had a lot of fun designing this one since Futurama has a lot of non-human characters, so I really felt like I could really lean into the hybrid elements of this xB design.

If you want to learn more about Futurama and see my style references, please look below the cut. (Dont forget about the Gamers Outreach fundraiser! If you donate $50 tumblr artist rendiggitydog will draw a hermit for you.)

Futurama is an adult comedy about a delivery guy named Fry who accidentally gets cryogenically frozen and is awakened again in the far flung future, where he promptly ends up with another job as a delivery guy (but this time on a spaceship with aliens).

The show is one of my favorite western adult animated comedies. It is pretty clever for the genre and has a lot of really likeable characters. The character I referenced heavily for xB is Leela, Fry's love interest and a cool one-eyed spaceship captain.

If you are a fan of scifi (like me) you would probably really enjoy Futurama since it parodies a lot of well-known scifi. It frequently makes fun of Star Trek in particular (with love, of course).

Style references:

Various characters from the show - Fry is the redhead and Leela is the lady with one eye.

I really like Leela :)

Futurama title card

#I actually really like the way xB turned out #even though I was really lost with his design for a while #I think he seems like he would be a fun one off character in an episode #that Fry would be really jealous of #for literally no reason other than that xB is cooler than him #hermitaday #xB #xBCrafted #hermitcraft

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gettingfrilly · 8 months

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Make up your Ed

I truly cannot look at this anymore but I don't want it languishing away in my google docs forever with no feedback. It can stand as a complete fic as is, but I do have plans to make it longer. Once I actually finish it, and edit it properly, I'll upload it to ao3 with an explicit rating. But for now, it's rated T, and only here on tumblr. All characters are 18 years old.

The plastic folding step stool creaks under his feet, a sure sign that it's either getting too old, or Eddy's getting too fat. He quickly decides the problem is the former theory as he grabs the see-through makeup case off the top shelf lining the walls of his closet, hidden behind a box of comic books. Careful with his cargo, he takes a slow step off of his stool, then saunters back into his bedroom and places the case on his nightstand. The plastic is smooth and cool under his hands as he thumbs open the latches, lifting the lid and running his fingers along the chunky, rougher, opaque plastic bordering the edges of the box. He painted the edges black himself when he first bought it using the money he got for his 15th birthday. The lines are painstakingly clean despite how much his hands had been trembling at the time.

There's more plastic inside, clear dividers creating organized compartments for his assortment of cosmetics, the collection a result of years of careful selection. Brushes and blenders, pallets and powders, dispensers, sprays, tubes, and polish create an array of colors, glass and plastic containers glinting amber under the glow of his lava lamp. Sucking on his tongue in consideration, he starts to pluck items from each section, putting together a color palette that suits the task at hand.

"Thank you for doing this."

Eddy turns to face the source of the soft voice, Double D sitting in the center of his circular bed, knees drawn to his chest as he pulls and snaps the elastic in the hem of his knee high sock, repeating the motion in intervals as he gazes down at Eddy's bed sheets. It's the first time he's spoken since entering his bedroom.

It was with that same soft voice he had asked Eddy on their walk home from school if he'd be willing to do Double D's makeup. The crunch of freshly fallen snow underneath their boots made Eddy unsure if he had heard him right over the noise.

"You want me to do your makeup?"

"Yes, if it's no bother. If it is a bother, then that's fine, it was just a thought."

"You, as in you, Double D, want me, as in me, Eddy, to do your makeup, as in putting sticky and powdery and wet stuff on your face using the same brushes and sponges I use on my own face?" Eddy repeated himself, pointing at Double D and himself in turn before gesturing at their faces.

Double D had huffed through his nose at him, already red-from-the-cold cheeks growing redder as he glared at the path ahead. "Like I said, if it's a bother-"

He cut himself off with a squeak as Eddy grabbed his hand and started jogging home, a wide grin splitting his chapped lips. Ed wished them luck before he was out of earshot, waving them off with his usual goofy smile.

He had ranted at Double D the whole way home, recounting tales of his exploits during the handful of times he drove up to Buffalo for a Saturday night of clubbing and drag, enjoying what the queer scene there had to offer. Stories were interspersed with boasts about his styling skills and the amount of eyes he caught and attention he drew, promising Double D that he’d turn him into a standout masterpiece that any queen would envy. The more he went on, however, the quieter Double D had become, until he had stopped talking completely and kept his eyes glued to the ground.The shift in mood didn’t go unnoticed by Eddy, who slowed his pace and started cracking jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood. Double D paid only minimal attention to him, and by the time they got to Eddy’s room, Eddy found himself sour and uneasy, wondering what the hell could be going on with him.

"No prob, Bob." He grabs Double D’s wrist and pulls his arm closer, flipping it over to reveal the paler side underneath. "Just make sure to use your math skills after to figure out how much money you owe me based on how much makeup I use."

That earns him a dry, withering look.

"Jeez, relax. Can't you take a joke?" He asks as he starts applying swatches of different foundations, watching the tendons in Double D's arm flex under the wet makeup sponge.

"As if I had no reason to believe you might have been serious."

"Oh lighten up." Eddy retorts, starting to bristle under Double D's prickly responses. "You're the one who asked me to do this, ya know—and here you are acting like you're about to go under the knife."

Double D has enough humility to look away sheepishly, averting his gaze and worrying at his lip. "...I know. I'm sorry, Eddy. I should be more grateful."

"Or just a little less bitchy." Double D looks back at Eddy to glare at him, but his expression softens when he sees the small smile on Eddy's face, only teasing him.

"I'll do my utmost."

"Good." Eddy says in response both to Double D and to finding a foundation that matches, putting the rest away as he grabs the makeup he selected and dumps it on the bed. The makeup rolls over the comforter as Eddy's weight creates dips in the mattress, crawling the oversized expanse of it until he's on his knees in front of Double D. He takes Double D's face in his hand, still cool from the face wash and moisturizer he used in Eddy's bathroom. Using one of his cleaner sponges, he starts applying primer, careful not to get any in Double D's exposed hairline. His sparse, dark hairs are held back by Eddy's makeup stained cloth headband, giving him a rare look at the full shape of Double D's face.

"Why do you wanna wear makeup?" Eddy finally voices the question that's been in the back of his mind since his excitement diminished.

"Well, why not?" Double D answers his question with his own question. "You wear makeup sometimes."

"I meant why all of the sudden."

"All of a sudden, Eddy." Double D corrects him while trying not to move his face too much.

"All of these nuts in your mouth." He mutters, hands unfortunately too busy for him to emphasize the point by grabbing his own crotch.

"Eddy, please."

"Just answer the question, Sockhead."

Double D pouts and is quickly scolded by Eddy into keeping his face still. "Just a whim, I suppose. Am I not allowed a whim now and again?"

"I just wouldn't exactly describe you as whimsical."

"Well. We all have our moments."

A silence follows the exchange, Eddy far from satisfied by Double D's answer. He's too distracted by contouring Double D's weird head to interrogate him further, though, too used to working with his own square shaped face. Thankfully for him, it's not too hard to get answers from someone who typically doesn't know how to shut the fuck up.

"Did you ever think you might be a woman?"

"Huh?" Eddy pauses at the sudden question, backing away from Double D's face, applicator hovering in midair.

Double D puckers his lips as if he tastes something sour, pulling the elastic of his sock further away from his shin before letting it snap back. "I mean... with your long standing fascination with clothing, hair products, and fragrances, and then dresses and makeup more recently. Didn't it ever cross your mind?"

He frowns at Double D's simplification of gender, though he understands what he means. Thinking to himself quietly, he goes back to shaping Double D's chin, taking a moment before answering. "Sort of, I guess. Briefly."

"Really?" He asks, voice tinged with hope.

"Yeah, back when I was still having my big ol' gay crisis. Pretty sure sexuality and gender crises go hand in hand. I mean, I liked boys, and I wasn't supposed to because I'm a boy. Makes you question shit."

"Just how much were you questioning?"

Eddy waves his free hand noncommittally before capping the applicator and reaching for the foundation he selected. "Eh. Enough to make me sweat over it for a bit. I kept asking myself which would be worse: being a gay man, or being a woman?"

"Oh." Double D says with a wince.

"Yeah, oh." Eddy agrees with his distasteful cringing.

"Do you still question yourself?" Double D hedges.

"Nah. Eventually figured I didn't want to be a chick, I just wanted to have a boyfriend. I hadn't fully realized there was a difference."

"But you still wear makeup and dresses."

Eddy shrugs. "Yeah, 'cause it's fun."

Double D raises the brow Eddy just shaped. "How so?"

"It's like... a joke, kinda." He answers after chewing on the question for a moment. "It's what people expect from a gay man. So fine, I'll do it. And I'll be smokin' hot and have fun with it. Hopefully make people really uncomfortable along the way, 'cause fuck 'em.” He punctuates his statement by popping open a tube of concealer. “That, and I spent my whole childhood being terrified over being masculine enough. It's a relief, knowing drag doesn't make me any less butch when I'm not in drag."

Double D hums. "Yes, I suppose even when you're in drag or just makeup, I wouldn't exactly describe you as feminine."

"Me neither. Is that what this is about, then?" Eddy asks, gesturing at the makeup on his bed and on Double D's face, starting to get the picture of what’s been making Double D so fidgety.

"Oh, me? No, I- well... perhaps. I don't know, it's all so confusing, Eddy.” He has to pause in his makeup application while Double D’s face goes through a wide range of expressions, Eddy huffing in frustration before forcing himself to be patient and listen.

“It's something I've been teased about my whole life, to the point where I'm starting to feel there's something about me other people know that I don't.” Double D admits, face settling on a small frown and wrinkled brow. “While I can admit I've always been a tad feminine-"

"Who says you're feminine?"

"Oh, come on, Eddy."

"I'm serious, Dee. What, 'cause you don't like sports? You spend more time reading than tossing a ball around? You're into bugs and nature and organic food?" He starts waving the concealer wand around like a conductor’s baton, jabbing it in Double D’s direction with each question asked.

Double D gives him a flat look, unmoved by his impassioned gesturing. "Eddy, you have accused me of being a sissy time and time again for those very same supposedly nonsensical reasons."

Eddy crosses his arms, careful to not get any concealer on his shirt. "Yeah, when I was a kid. I'm a different man now." He bristles, offended by Double D’s implication that he’s still some bigoted preteen.

"We're still kids, Eddy." Double D’s voice is almost too quiet to hear, as if he’s admitting something shameful.

"Speak for yourself."

Silence falls again, and Eddy takes the opportunity to get back to work. His mind wanders as he goes through the practiced motions of putting on makeup, going off of muscle memory as he tries to figure out just why Double D is being so cagey about this. He’ll never forget how casually Double D came out to him and Ed, only in eighth grade when he told them one sleepover that he was ‘fairly certain I’m bisexual.’ Buttery popcorn had fallen right out of Eddy’s hand and onto Ed’s sticky basement floor, feeling like someone just put his head through a brick wall, ears ringing from the non existent head wound and leaving him too unfocused to pay attention to the questions Ed asked in response. He continued to perform his best impression of a gobsmacked cartoon character until Double D had called out his name in the same tone he uses when he thinks Eddy is about to do or say something stupid. It took him a couple more seconds to recover before he was able to mutter out a ‘whatever floats your boat, Sockhead,’ quickly changing the topic of conversation afterward.

He didn’t sleep a wink that night—just lay awake staring at the glow in the dark stars him and Double D had put all over Ed’s ceiling two birthdays ago, trying to figure out how the hell someone could admit to something like that so easily. Wasn’t Double D terrified? Wasn’t he disgusted? Didn’t he hate himself? And why in the name of Christ and fuck and shit was part of him goddamn happy about this?

It had taken two more years for Eddy to be able to even say he’s gay out loud to himself, never mind to anyone else. When he did eventually come out to the other Eds, it was after a night of nervous binge eating, hours of trying to ramp himself up to it only to stuff his open maw with more junk food instead of letting the words come out. Eventually, Double D had suggested bedtime, and stabbed through the heart with panic as if he’d never get a chance again, Eddy stood, ready to spill his guts out—only to run for the bathroom to puke them out instead. Ed and Double D followed him close behind, and he whispered his confession into the porcelain, sniffling wetly and getting a lungful of vomit smell as he watched his tears drop into the mess below. He was a pathetic disaster, Ed’s attempts to soothe him with a bedtime story going ignored as he hyperfocused on the feeling of Double D’s cool hand running up and down his back. They went on their first date two weeks later.

So now he’s totally thrown off, the ill-fitting shoe on the other foot as he discusses gender identity casually while Double D works at picking a hole into his sock and looks anywhere but at Eddy. Double D never seemed to be insecure about his masculinity before, at least, as far as Eddy knows. If anything, Eddy had been insecure enough for the both of them, frequently pushing Double D to lift or run or take up boxing, anything to up his man cred. Double D had always been resistant, stating each time that his abilities simply lie elsewhere. Had he been self conscious about it all this time and Eddy just never picked up on it?

"Perhaps I was speaking only for myself. I fear you're far more mature than I am, Eddy."

Eddy leans back, startled not just by Double D talking after such a long silence, but by the content of his sentence, too. "Hold up.” He makes a show of digging his pinky into his own ear before tilting his head and slapping the side of it as if he’s trying to get something to fall out the other end. “I know I didn't hear that right. I've never heard you say I'm more ANYTHING than you. Other than loud or rude or messy or other negative shit."

"Well it's the truth!” It’s the loudest Double D has spoken tonight, his hands thrown up into the air dramatically. “I've been left behind in the proverbial dust, Eddy. You and Ed are so sure of who you are. Even you, who used to be the most insecure, awkward, and desperate for inclusion out of the three of us."

"Gee, thanks." Eddy replies, voice dry as the desert and hollow as Ed’s head.

"And now you're able to just... be!” Double D continues, ignoring his own accidental insult towards Eddy. “Without worrying about what others expect or want from you. The only reason you remain in the closet locally is to avoid consequences at home. But with yourself, or in the city, you're so genuine, so unashamed. Yet the older I get, the more unsure of myself I become, as if puberty somehow made me immature. I have no idea who I truly am. I'm rather jealous of you, Eddy." Double D’s excitement peters out as he goes on, slumping forward in defeat as his hands return to his knees.

“Oh. I get it.” And he does, finally. This isn’t just a gender crisis, it’s a growing up crisis, which is much more on track for Double D’s neuroses. Whether he becomes a woman or not, he’s still not gonna be a ‘boy’ anymore.

“Get what?”

“Shut up and listen, because I got something to say and also because I need you to not move your face for a while. I’ll try to put this in words your weirdo crazy bananas brain can understand.”

Double D follows Eddy’s instructions, tightly pressing his lips together and freezing his face into an impressive stock-stillness.

Eddy nods his approval, capping the concealer before grabbing a brush to start blending. “Okay, so. It’s like… we’re just molecules. I said don’t move your face!” Eddy scolds Double D for his poorly repressed grin, apparently finding Eddy’s attempt at using scientific jargon just so goddamn funny. “I know what a fucking molecule is, ya know. I’m not that shit at school.”

“Anyway,” he continues once Double D wipes the smirk off his face, “we’re molecules and atoms and junk. I don’t know who I truly am because there is no ‘who I truly am.’ You could break me apart into the smallest possible pieces looking for it and all you’d find is a bunch of loosely connected random shit.” He grabs a smaller brush to blend in the nooks and crannies of his face. “I never tried to look for who I am. I just spent my life trying to be someone everyone liked, which is impossible, and wanting to be something impossible just made me miserable and mean and shitty. I couldn’t be a complete person.”

Double D opens his mouth like he wants to protest, brows drawn in concern, but Eddy raises his hand to silence him. “It’s in the past. Then there was the whole running away fiasco, and then puberty hit me like a sack of bricks and life was already hard e-fucking-nough, so I tried to dial it back, just be someone that most people will like. That shrunk down to some people, then to just the other kids in the neighborhood, and one day I asked myself, well shit, why not be someone I like? I’ve never liked myself before. Should probably give it a shot.”

“Oh, Eddy.” Double D won’t be silenced this time, grabbing Eddy’s free hand and squeezing it tightly as he gives him his usual concerned mother face. Eddy sighs through his nose and squeezes his hand back, running his thumb in the junction between Double D’s thumb and pointer finger.

“Like I said, it’s in the past.” He slips his hand out of Double D’s and carefully applies lip liner while holding his chin. “All I’m saying is you gotta stop spending so much time up here,” he taps Double D’s forehead, “and try spending a little more time in here,” he finishes, placing his hand over Double D’s chest.

Double D looks down before glancing back up with a smirk. “In my udder?”

Eddy rolls his eyes at the callback, taking his hand back to get to finishing up. “Yeah, your udder. That’s where you’ll find the person you want to be.”

“So you’re a gay man because you wanted to be a gay man?” He asks flatly.

“Well. No. Okay, so, some of it is probably generic.”

“Genetic.”

“Whatever. The bulk of it, though? How we act, what labels we choose, what clothes we wear, whether we wear makeup or not—that’s all from exposure and desire. We’re all just cobbled together, Dee.”

“Is it really that simple?” Double D asks, sounding equal parts hopeful and doubtful.

Eddy shakes his head. “Nope. Having a true self you could look for under a microscope is what would be simple. Real life’s a lot more complicated than that.”

Double D widens his eyes, breath catching softly in his throat as he stares Eddy down. Eddy narrows his eyes back at him, unsure if he should feel complimented or offended by Double D’s reaction.

“Eddy… since when did you become so wise?”

Offended, then. “Since when did you only give me compliments that were backhanded? Just kidding, you’ve always done that. Now for real, hold still and shut up. Lemme do your eyes.”

Double D complies, trying his best to keep his wincing to a minimum as Eddy pokes and prods his lids. As long as he doesn’t start mumbling about pink eye, Eddy can put up with the occasional fidgeting. Once the eyes are done, all that’s left is the lipstick, and Eddy purposefully takes his time with it, Double’s D’s chin clutched between his fingers as his eyes slip shut, a soft blush glowing through the layers of makeup. Fuck, he’d kiss him it wouldn’t mess up his work.

“Okay, done.” He gropes around his night stand until he finds his gold painted hand mirror, shoving it in Double D’s direction. ��Go ahead and lay on the praise for my incredible skills.”

Double D takes a deep breath before lifting the mirror and opening his eyes, face freezing at what he finds. Silent seconds slowly tick by as Eddy waits for any sort of appraisal, positive or otherwise, arms crossed and finger tapping against his arm.

“... I look like my mother.”

Eddy’s wince is automatic and unstoppable. “Mmrh. But, like, a hot version of your mom, right?”

“Eddy, my mother is-” Thankfully for Double D, for Eddy, for the reader, for the author, and for the universe at large, he cuts himself off before finishing that sentence. “And it’s so conservative.”

Eddy shrugs. “Yeah, well. You don’t usually go for gaudy.” He had picked a color palette he’d never pick for himself, all natural colors that would mix well with Double D’s skin tone, highlighting his innate beauty and giving his face a more feminine shape without making him look like he was about to start lip syncing to Shania Twain. The only splash of color he gave him was the lipstick, a deep cherry red and one of Eddy’s favorites.

“I don’t. You put so much thought into this, Eddy.” He murmurs, the content of his sentence not at all matching his dismayed tone.

“You hate it.”

“No, it’s not that. You did an exceedingly good job, your high skill is abundantly obvious, and I am still very grateful.” He quickly explains, still staring at himself in the mirror. “It’s just… I didn’t expect… I thought-” he takes a deep breath and sighs, putting the mirror down. “I feel the same.”

Eddy takes a deep breath through his nose and purses his lips, readying himself to be an ‘empathetic listener’ as Double D often describes it. At least he doesn’t have to put on the fake empathy face for him like he does for other people. “Okay. How did you think you would feel?”

“Different.” Double D gives the obvious answer, and Eddy has to hold himself back from saying ‘no shit.’ He waits instead, keeping his face neutral and his eyes on Double D as he fiddles with his blanket, twisting his fingers into the fabric.

“I don’t know. Anything, really. Elated, horrified, enlightened, disgusted, at peace, unease. Anything would have been better than still just feeling confused.” Double D starts to clutch his own arms as he talks, fingers digging into the fabric of his winter cardigan. “I still don’t know who I want to be.”

“What, you thought it would happen overnight? I’d share my ‘wisdom’ with you and your big brain would just work out the rest?” He puts scare quotes around wisdom, withholding the impatient huff he wants to give. “Shit takes time, Sockhead. It took me years of self loathing and fear to get to where I am.

Double D looks less than thrilled by the prospect. “Uh. But who knows, might not be that bad for you. You’ll figure something out eventually. You always do, Dee.”

“I do, don’t I.” He gives Eddy a small smile, only slightly forced as he takes his hands in his own. “Thank you, Eddy. You’ve been very sweet to me tonight.”

“‘M always sweet.”

“Of course you are.” He leans in to give Eddy a peck on the corner of his mouth, a chaste and innocent gesture, but when they part Double D stares at Eddy’s mouth for a worrying amount of time.

“Huh? Oh.” Eddy finally figures out what he’s staring at. Double D always opposes messiness. “Yeah, I didn’t use any lipstick sealer. Figured you’d be taking it off right after, so-”

He’s cut off by a far less chaste kiss, Double D sealing his lips against Eddy’s before he starts shifting against them, hands flying up to grab Eddy’s shoulders in a bruising grip. Eddy can do nothing but flounder, his surprised exclamation muffled against Double D’s mouth. Seeing as there’s absolutely no reason not to, he surrenders himself, arms snaking around Double D’s smaller frame, pulling him closer until their bodies are flush against each other, putting up zero resistance when Double D pushes down to the mattress. Glass and plastic makeup containers tumble and clink against each other as their shifting weight creates new divots in the mattress, followed by the soft hush of something smooth sliding over Eddy’s silk sheets, landing on the carpet below with a dull thud.

‘Hope my mirror didn’t just break. Glass is a bitch to get out of shag carpeting.’ That’s all the brain resources he has available for the integrity of his cheap mirror right now, the rest of it occupied by the overwhelming presence and persistence of Double D, hands grabbing and squishing the usual suspects, i.e. Eddy’s stomach, thighs, and love handles. Shortly after Double D’s hands start to rove, his lips start to travel, too, across Eddy’s jaw, cheek, then neck, pulling back a little bit each time to gaze down dazedly at the gory red trail he’s left in his wake. Eddy lets him, making no moves to take control of the situation, just breathing heavily beneath Double D’s ministrations.

Eventually, Double D slows to a stop, sitting up with his knees on either side of Eddy’s stomach as he lightly traces the path of kiss marks decorating Eddy’s heated face. His eyes are unfocused, lids hooded, body loose and face relaxed, not at all the ball of nerves he’d been since their walk home.

“I still don’t know who I want to be.” He admits softly, giving Eddy one last kiss on the cheek before he lays on top of him and nuzzles into the side of his spacious neck. “But I know who I want to be with.”

Eddy wraps his arms around him again, tilting his head to the side to brush a kiss of his own against Double D’s ear, an always hypersensitive part of his body. It brings him close enough to be drawn in by the allure of Double D’s hypoallergenic laundry detergent and natural deodorant, shoving his nose in his shirt and huffing fumes that can really only be described as smelling ‘clean.’ He embraces and is embraced in return, wanting and wanted, loving and loved.

“And I already have you, Eddy.”

#ed edd n eddy #eene #eddeddy #gettingfrillywrites

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