#i dont want to talk about that with pretty much anyone. the only person ill talk to that about is my gf | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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I hate how even in asexual communities, it's still so hard to find other sex repulsed aces. Like idk it feels like no matter where I am, I'm the one who has a problem and I hate it. I never asked to be like this but at the same time I don't want people to keep treating me like I'm just damaged and need to be fixed. Or like it's fine as long as I don't impose it on other people...

idk how to explain to people that I'm not just internally tolerating things, I'm actually in a lot of pain over it. I'm not just disgusted, I'm panicking and upset over the fact that I feel disgust sometimes toward people I like very much actually. Idk I just feel like it's never talked about and it's extremely upsetting.

And the worst part is, if I tell people, everyone has their own assumptions about what "made me this way" and tbh that is just not something I'm comfortable with. My only choices are to either be uncomfortable because I'm panicking and being excluded from a lot of things (usually conversations but sometimes other things too) or to be uncomfortable because I set a boundary and asked people to stop and now everyone is either mad at me or making assumptions about me that I quite honestly don't think I'm okay directly addressing.

I don't know. I just wish there was some non-judgmental recognition that this makes so many things really really hard for me I guess.

#usually the assumptions are that i was sa'd and need to be 'fixed' in therapy #which is just. i dont even know how to explain how fucked up that is if you dont already see it #i dont want to talk about that with pretty much anyone. the only person ill talk to that about is my gf #and only when were alone and i know no ones going to judge me or see me breaking #i start shaking and crying and i cant stop and everytime i hear people making this assumption it puts me back in that headspace #where im so vulnerable and terrified and panicking #and i just hate it. i hate that other people can openly talk about their sexualities but mine is too personal #i do in a way want to be fixed but not with the outcome that other people would want #i just want to be okay. that is literally all i want. i still fully believe ill always be asexual #but when i tell people im sex repulsed its like they assume im secretly not asexual #i kinda think if they think that they probably also hate other asexuals but its just disguised better but idk #im just so tired of being uncomfortable all of the time. i hate it and i dont even know if its me that i hate or everyone else #id just like it to be neither someday #oh yeah also resources as in research and published studies and actually knowledgeable doctors are realllly hard to find #the majority is still overwhelming biased and believe that its a mental disorder and the result of sa too #and i just wish they would actually conduct studies without polluting them with their own biases all the time

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roaringheat · 9 months

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It's been a couple days and all I can think about is Lenny's death oh my goddddd. I just can't get over how the whole game up until that point, everyone especially Arthur talks so highly of him and says shit like how he'll outlive everyone else and how smart he is and how much potential he has like.....good fuckin lord. It kills me how badly Arthur didn't want to leave his body behind too. God he should've lived. I will say tho the game does an incredible job making you attached to his character. It's also very interesting the timing of his death if you look at it in a story tone way. I'm not good at putting my thoughts into words but that mission feels like such a huge turning point and killing off this kid with so much potential is for sure gonna create a tone of dread and hopelessness if not in the gang, than in the player. Same thing with Sean's death tbh. Killing off a young character that brings so much joy and levity to the gang changes the tone SO much.

#vark posts #sorry i literally talk about nothing but rdr2 these days LOL #ill tag it with my live blog tag for anyone that wants to filter it out tho #but like fuck man Lenny was only 19!!! thats a kid!!!#and ik sean was pretty young too theyre really shooting down all the young ones #im ngl i figured someone would die this mission but i was hoping itd be bill #with the choice of characters dying so far being mostly ones the player could easily get attached to tho i dont think bill would die #to me he feels like a bg character #and ik after Kieran joins the gang he kinda fades into the bg too but personality wise he stood out A LOT #dont even get me started on Hosea his death makes me wanna crumble to pieces #this game is so incredible fr #NO SPOILERS pls i havent made it that much further after this mission #v live blogging

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be-good-to-bugs · 11 days

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itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent

#the bin #:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time #im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much.#its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell #anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever.#that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck #probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know #but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything #that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off #she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then #i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos #she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them #to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much #better and not be upset over that all the time #i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record #me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me #i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the #video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental #illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that.#i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her #ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.

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master-xochimilli · 6 months

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◇ About + DNI ◇

Currently: Offline (crying screaming sobbing my internet at home is nonexistent :3 !!!)

Welcome to my blog~ My name is Xochimilli, though I'm sure some of you would be eager to call me Master or Sir

A 21 year old genderqueer boygirl cat thing, It/He pronouns (yes capitalized :3)

My asks are always open, go ahead tell me anything, I love going aaaa and talking. Just be nice. Please don't just say "hi" or try to get me to e fuck you, I'm a person

If you cannot handle different time zones and the fact others have work and responsibilities don't even bother. Asks will not be answered right away, please take situation/time sensitive asks with a grain of salt.

Time Zone: GMT -6 • Mexico City

♡ Pet

My pet is the lovely @onetiredpup, or 🫀 puppy who I lovee and adore so so soooo much 💛 THE BOYFRIEND YIPPPEE YAYY HOORAYY :3 💛💛💛💛💛 A A AAAAAA AA AAAAAAA KISSING HIM KISSING HER HUGGING THEM SO TIGHTLY

◇Anon Pets◇

•🪐 • 🩻 • 🦇 • 🪲 • 🐻 • 🐼 • ⚰️ • 🌱 • doe • 🧜‍♀️ • 🫧 • 🌻 • 👑 • 🦦 • 🌌 • 🥺 • 🤍 • 🐾 • 🍰 • 🍑 • 🪣 • 👑🖤 • 🍊 • 🍤 • 🐈‍⬛ • 🪷 • 🐞 • 🐬 • 🌟 • 🏩 • ✴️

◇ DNI ◇

Minors and ageless blogs fuck off, I will block you.

Typical DNI, dont be a bitch to others. Raceplay, and ED blogs also dni, for personal reasons, I can and will block anyone I want to, this is my safe space.

I also just reccomend not to interact if you just want the horny!!! I will rb anything n everything I want <3

◇ Kinks ◇ Limits under cut ◇

Kinks◇

Petplay

Impact play

Soft Degradation + Praise

Bondage

Piss/Omo

Somno

Breeding

Pregnancy

Edging + Cum Denial

Free Use

CNC (emphasis on the consent)

Sub/Dom

Knifeplay

Intox (only alcohol)

Biting/Marking

Primal

Royalty play

Lactation/Milking

Blood

Cockwarming

Objectum

Pain/Physical Injury

Possesiveness

Forcemasc

Monsterfucking

Gore (will not post about it)

Cannibalism (will not post about it)

I'm a bitch ass soft baby when being subby and bottoming, so feel free to ask beforehand about my limits!!!

Limits◇

Apart from what is included in the DNI, do not offer to include these. I either don't enjoy them personally or can't do/write for them !!!

Use of the word "rape" in cnc (literally a fucking victim of it, me panicking and having flashbacks about over it will not be fun so stfu!!!)

Scat

Inflation

Ageplay

Raceplay

Brat taming (I am too soft for it)

Vomit

AB/DL

Size difference

Cheating

Hypno

Sissy

Weight gain/Loss + Feederism

My puppy's good boy chart ♡

Good boy chart for my lovely puppyyyyy, my sweet boyfriend @onetiredpup 💛 So so sooo excited for using it with him !!!! Will update it as they get stickers :3 so everyone can see what a good boy she is~

based off @/droolypupboy's chart !!!!

◇ More:

I'm just queer, so it doesn't matter what you are it's gay if it includes me sexually. Because someone asked: I am kind of pretty sure I am monoamorous, I will engange in sexual play but no romantic stuff :3 -> Aro adjacent thing, heart is being weird about it, might be not fully aro. I have a boyfriebd. I have a boyfriend. Did I mention I have a boyfriend? I have a boyfriend and I love him I love my boyfriend with my whole being 💛 My boyfriend my beloved kissing her face right now actually because I love them and my blog is kinda obviously all about him lmao

Not a transman, I am genderqueer, please respect the queer part of it, no I am not justifying or explaining my gender to you.

I do enjoy being the top dom most of the time, but I'm a nice switch vers at heart and wouldn't mind switching it up if a person came along and put me in place like the clingy kitty I am

Will be referred to as sir, master and people I frequently talk to in a sexual setting can use daddy, only as a title, and nothing more

All pet/master, d/s relations are for fun but I feel very strongly and I will care about you and probably count you as a close friend :3

Autistic and ADHD, and mentally ill, and chronically pained– Age regressor will always log out before regressing. Also a full time worker, don't fret if I don't answer right away~

Please, please, keep in mind I am mentally ill. I am not a healthy person, do not take everything I say as the best option, nor as the best advice. I have shit memory, shit emotions and at times questionable responses.

I will log off the moment I feel myself age regressing, unless I get explicit agreement when big, to be regressed with you, and I will not click out the chat!!

Not open to sending pictures, but will keep any pictures or videos sent my way~ For any curious pet, I'm a pre op and pre t, 5 foot 2 and probably the most fem thing ever

Living in CDMX, long periods of silence are usually due to getting stuck in traffic or power outages, or when regressing.

◇Xochi is a real person I am not horny all the time lmao

A part time librarian! Head of the children's section of the library I work at, love taking care of kids and helping them get interested in reading. Also part time English teacher! Really just doing things I like nowdays~

I'm a pretty big softie at heart, expert crybaby, expert emotion feeler, expert at caring too much. I am also good at being dumb and laughing too much at stupid shit :3

I like stuff apart from masturbating and getting others horny~ Like drawing, Sky: Children of the Light, Sanrio (My Melody my beloved ♡), Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, Pretty Cure, plushies and cooking to name a few things I like, so don't be afraid to just talk about my interests! I'm not scary I promise :]

Understanding and open, don't like me being too rough? Go ahead and tell me— Will gladly compliment and comfort you, don't be shy! Also be a sweetheart and tell me if you get excited hm?

◇ Tags ◇

#xochimilli writes -> Orignal text posts

#xochimilli answers◇ -> Answering asks

#xochimilli's pets -> My pets being cute

#xochimilli comfort ->Only comfort more sfw

#xochimilli speaks ->Me bitching about stuff

#xochi is the breeding bitch -> Bottom/Sub POV writings

#important◇ -> important shit lmao

#☆lynn no mires☆ ->irl Xochi, audios and pictures

♡

#🫀puppy-> For my love, my bf, my sweetheart, the one who fills my whole heart and my sunshine :3 ♡

#🫀💛 -> reblogs that make me think of them ♡

☆

♱𝖋𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖔𝖙♱ <- matchy matchy for my bestie my beloved HOLAAA SEÑOR GACHA AAAAAAA

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inamagicalhallucination · 9 months

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atsushi akutagawa lucy and junichiro road trip thing that i sometimes think about

okay

atsushi and junichiro are talking about how much theyd wanna go on a vacation, ya know things have been happening and its getting tired

anyway they're talking as they head to the cafe where lucy is and lucy's like "ive always wanted to go on a road trip" and atsushi and junichiro are like thats genius

anyway so they rent a car and pack their bags and atsushi wants to invite someone else but he doesn't wanna make things awkward for junichiro and lucy, who dont know that person that well

but obviously his besties would know him well so they plan for a fourth person anyway and end up contacting somehow gin to ask where her brother would like to visit (to add on to their map) and if she could invite him for them and gin's like my brothers not gonna do that so ill just send u a bag with his stuff and ask chuuya to request some time off on his behalf

and on the day theyre leaving, junichiro and lucy tell atsushi that akutagawa is gonna join them too and atsushi is ecstatic

"you really asked him??"

"well... no"

akutagawa, wandering around, wondering why his stuff is missing, gin is laughing at him, and chuuya requested time off for him and a car pulls up next to him and junichiro lucy and atsushi are like "get in loser we're going on a road trip"

and when he's like "what? no." they just kidnap him anyway

the first person who drives is junichiro - someone honks at him and yells at him in road rage and he bursts into tears

the second person who drives is akutagawa, it's only atsushi's holding on to him that stops him from murdering the person who cut in front of him

the third person is atsushi

atsushi doesn't cry or get angry becuz he's been taught by kunikida and dazai

atsushi however is taught by kunikida and dazai and he is a combination of their driving skills so in short terms: he's horrible

he drives so fast akutagawa uses rashomon to keep himself, junichiro and lucy in the car

when he parks junichiro has to bolt out to throw up

lucy isn't even moving thats how horrific his driving is

anyway

lucy on the other hand is a really good driver but she's not used to driving on the left side

anyway

horrific driving from all four aside

whoever's upfront chooses the music and they all change their seats frequentally

akutagawa listens to classical music becuz idk goth vampire

junichiro listens to top 40s becuz its an easy choice

lucy listens to american music becuz she's american idk

atsushi listens to a horrific combination of all that and also whatever anyone in the agency has sent him

they switch seats pretty often so everyone gets a chance to sit with everyone

junichiro and atsushi on the front is filled with them happily exchanging stories meanwhile akutagawa and lucy in the back talk shit about atsushi being oblivious

akutagawa and lucy in the front is them yelling and cursing the other drivers junichiro and atsushi in the back is quietly looking out the window, relaxing

junichiro and akutagawa in the front is talking about what songs they wanna listen to and other such conversation and lucy and atsushi in the back is happily talking about how theyd never have gotten to this before -> trauma dumping

junichiro and akutagawa in the back is awkward silence and lucy and atsushi in the front is screaming songs at the top of their lungs

akutagawa and atsushi together front or back make lucy and junichiro feel like the third wheels

//

anytime akutagawa gets sulky they scream songs on the top of their lungs into his ear to annoy him

anyway its all of them having fun being silly and teasing each other

#atsushi nakajima #bungou stray dogs atsushi #bsd atsushi #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #shin soukoku #sskk #lucy maud montgomery #tanizaki junichirou #bsd junichiro #junichiro tanizaki #akutagawa x atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #bsd #atsushi nakajima bsd #bsd atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi

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mschimdt · 1 year

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what some avatar characters would do if you were on your period

i need help sprrading my work and i would appreciate if you reblogged my post

i dont know if naavis have periods but for the sake of this post lets just say they do

600 words

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jake sully

you were laying in both you and jakes bed, we'll atleast thats what you considered it because you had no idea what the naavi call it, you were having severe cramps, worst than you had ever experienced, jake was on his ikran, bob, looking for food

he came back about 2 hours later and you were still suffering from period pains, just much worse, now your lower back hurt aswell as your abdomen

jake had a concerned look on his face when he saw you in a fetal position shivering, "hey y/n you okay?" he said while rubbing your shoulder in attempt to comfort you, since you were both living as naavis, it meant you had no technonoly to solve this pain or any medicine

the only thing jake could do was lay by your side while rubbing your lower abdomen in attempt to sooth your pain, it worked for the least and you fell asleep in eachothers arms

-----------------------------------------------------

colonel miles quaritch

you were laying in your shared bedroom back in bridge head, quaritch was on a mission and should be back in a few hours, you just started your period and you werent having any of it, so you skipped a day of work inorder not to approach annoying colleagus that were just going to make you worse, you were in pain anyways, its a valid excuse to stay in your room for thr day

you were looking forward to seeing quaritch, hes the only person that doesnt annoy you, its gotten to the point where even lyle makes u mad when he spits out a single word (not saying hes not annoying)

the door to your shared bedroom clicked amd quaritch walked inside, your face lit up in joy and you spoke " someones back early " quaritch smiled whike locking the door

suddenly your happy expression turned into one of pain, quaritch gave you a concerned look "you okay, sweetheart?"

"y-yea just a cramp" you said while it looked like you were fighting for your life, quaritch walked over and said "you're on your period?" with a little smirk

"oh i know something that'll help with your cramps" you knew exactly what he was talking about, theres a study that shows that sex while on your period relieves cramps and pain, you hesitated at first but you decided to agree

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recom Lopez

you and lopez were out eating in the cafeteria, he knew you were on your period and he didnt want to bother yoy because he didnt want to be the reason your mood switches

you were both having a conversation about how you think lyle and quaritch have something between them, it was late so no one could hear you

this topic was pretty funny to you and lopez, but theres no doubt that its true

suddenly you stoo talking and you gain a angry look on your face

ofcourse lopez decided you guys have been down here for enough "we've been here long enough, we should probably get ourselves some sleep, we really need it" "yea lets go" you replied

you made your way up the stairs and threw yourself onto the bed, you started crying, you didnt know why

lopez heard your sniffles and layed down next to you, carrying you into his lap "whats wrong baby?" then he started blabbing cute spanish names, you didnt reply you just cried, he held you in his arms for what seemed like hours till the sobs finally stopped and you were sound asleep on his chest

----------------------------------------------------

ill make a part two soon, itll include

lyle,mansk, ja ,prager

but for now youre stuck with this

would anyone like to see human jake sully x human reader?? idk i just find human jake attractive ash ngl

#lopez avatar #avatar lopez #avatar #avatar miles quaritch #colonel miles quaritch #miles x reader #miles quaritch x reader #new writers on tumblr #recom lopez #jake sully #jake sully x reader #lopez x reader #avatar atwow #atwow x you #atwow smut #atwow

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thedoover-if · 9 months

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is this my first snippet haha? this got a little long LOL sorry but ill put it under the cut so your feeds arent clogged

little explaining of each here haha

first: you have a drink or more most days of the week. most times you hang around the club, the bartender has to cut you off personally and threaten their colleagues not to hand you any more drinks while they try to arrange a ride home for you

second: i think i responded to an anon's mail a couple days ago but youre kind of aloof, pessimistic and you tend to space out a lot (kind of not there mentally)

third: this MC doesnt spend many nights alone. very much a "no strings attached" kind of person now. they let loose, have their fun for the night and then move on and forget the next. they havent had that emotional bond with anyone since their ex-spouse. its going to be hard for the bartender and the patient to open up to this MC because they dont want to get caught up in that whole thing. by the time either of them take that step therell be heart involved but whether thats the same for the MC is the real question...

fourth: 'tell yourself something enough times, and you start to believe it'. the complete opposite of the second. this type of MC doesnt allow themselves much time to wallow. and they bounced back insanely quick after the divorce but can they keep the happy front up...?

fifth: shuts down every attempt of their friends and family tying to get them to open up. most people only know that the ex cheated and you divorced because of that. they refuse to re-hatch the past and instead of processing the divorce they just ignored it. its like it never happened. so when the ex-spouse shows up at their front step that will completely catch this MC off-guard but youll choose how to react

fyi the bartender's opinion on the ex being back in MCs life will completely differ between a 24/7 happy MC and an MC that refuses to talk about the divorce if that makes sense? they dont like the ex either way but like i mentioned theyre protective and they will be more or less hostile depending on how the MC coped

for the MCs who try to make the ex jealous with the bartender or the patient i want to let you know that by the end of the game you can have pretty much ruined your relationships/friendships with these people cause they wont stand for it

hope this makes sense!!!!!!

#snippet #let me know what you think?

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ty-bayonet-betteridge · 6 months

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shes wearing jeans and a tank top. theres blood on the carpet. she says so, you want to be a werewolf? you say yeah. she says just so you know your claws and teeth wont be any sharper than a humans. im not allowed to give anyone any weapons. condition of my parole. you say thats fine, not ideal but fine. the two of you start talking details between sips of your coffee. when shes asking you about fur color she pulls out a swatch like they have at paint shops. all the fur on it feels real. it also feels warm. and the swatch itself is soft and yielding underneath the fur.

zero, two, or eight boobs? zero you say, but eight nipples underneath the fur. she says that works, do you want the knot? you say yeah. she asks how long you want it to last after cumming and you say half an hour. she says you know that means you and your partner pretty much wont be able to move thst whole time right. you say yeah. she shakes her head and says your funeral.

shes finished her coffee and started smoking. you say arent you worried about your lungs? she laughs. she says nah my Amy will fix me up if i get cancer. she says any other requests? you say just so we're clear, i want this to be actual lycanthropy. she says huh? you say you want to actually transform on the full moon. she considers that a second. she says hm i think i can do that. the transformations will probably hurt like a bitch though. you say you dont mind. she says she needs you to sign a waiver for this one. you say okay. she says give me like fifteen minutes to write one.

***

get the fuck out of here she says. she says who the hell gave you my address? she says fuck off before i show you what im really capable of. you say whats the problem? she says i dont DO cape work. she says im full rogue these days. she says i only take clients who arent parahumans just to be sure im not complicit in anything. you say youll go. she says go faster or she'll get your body to show you what a teratoma is.

***

you start describing your fungus colony idea but shes already shaking her head. she says sorry. says she would if she could but shes not allowed to do anything that can propagate itself. she says her parole agreement says she can only give reproductive organs if the resulting offspring would be baseline human. you say thats stupid. she says she doesnt disagree. how do they even determine baseline human you ask? she says shes pretty sure they use dna testing if theres any doubt. you say damnit. she says i can still make you a mushroom person i just cant let you be sporing. you sigh and say okay.

***

shes more animated than youve ever seen her before. youve been here a few times, requesting monsters be made for your haunted house. shes tried directing you to a colleague of hers, the Goblin King or something like that? you always tell her that her creations have a certain je ne sais quoi. she always giggles at that.

this time you came to ask her for a skeleton. the idea excites her. shes pacing around. a skeleton, a skeleton. you say shouldnt this one be easy? she says you still want it fully autonomous right? you say yeah. she says right so i have to give it muscles and nerves but i cant make them too obvious. and the bones, where is she gonna get the bones? you say you just want a human skeleton, whats the issue with the bones? she says that is the issue. says shes not allowed to use human remains anymore. she'll have to get some sort of animal bone and sculpt it. she says maybe Amy can help with getting them to look right. but that still doesnt solve how to make it walk...

you say sorry, what do i owe you for this commission? she waves you off. she says this ones interesting enough that she wont charge. she pulls out a set of colorful glitter markers and starts doing anatomical sketches on the back of an old pizza box. she says you can go now. she says ill call you when you can pick it up.

***

six fingers she says. you say yeah. and thats all she says? you say yeah. she says sure no problem but like, why? you say so earth aleph has this tv show called Gravity Falls

***

she says im so so sorry. she says i wish i could help but this isnt my field. you say its ok, but you cant hide your tears. she says no, no, dont cry! she hugs you. she smells like sweat and smoke and blood. its still a good hug. she says i dont know many mechanicsl tinkers, but ill call the ones i do know, ask around. she says we'll find somebody who can help give you a working electrical outlet pussy, i promise. you say thank you. youre still crying. shes so sweet.

***

ok, she says, so i can do that with some caveats. you say shoot. she says im allowed to give out wings but not allowed to give anybody the ability to fly. you say why?? she says it counts as giving out parahuman abilties and thats against my parole. you say thats so stupid and she nods. she says do you still want the wings? some of the angelkin ive done this to say they actually feel WORSE having the wings but not being able to get off the ground with them. you say thats ok. you say youre not angelkin, you just want them for kink reasons. she says ohhhhh. she says so how sensitive do you want them

***

she says i can do that but have you REALLY thought about it? youll be totally dependent on a third party. like what if your partner breaks up with you and you can't find someone else who "gets it"? you say im willing to take that risk. she says ok. she says so let me make sure ive got this right, you want detachable skin that laces up in the back and has to be washed out every night?

#wormblr #parahumans #worm spoilers #bonesaw #riley davis #riley grace davis #our writing #nsft #dr riley davis mde

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rileebilee · 1 year

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set free.

isaacwhy x fem!reader

warnings: angst, suicide, mentions of od, self-harm, eating disorder, ect.

a/n: hi.... so i need more request pretty plz. also im super sorry for this uhhh..

requested?: no

i sobbed to myself silently, for fucks sake my life was going downhill, everyone must hate ne, they must think im ugly also. my mom overdosed yesterday night and i havent leftmy room nor told anyone, ive ignored their calls, texts, face times, knocks. everything is so fucking bad.

i would pay anything if i could leave this world.

ISAACS POV.

im worried.

y/n hasnt left her room at all. she's not eating, sleeping, talking, we all dont know why, but we're scared. really. scared.

the last time she did this she almost killed herself, thats why.

i got up from my bed when i heard my phone ding, my eyes widened to see a message from y/n, it was a long paragraph on why shes sorry for everything she did and why she loves all of us so much, assuming this was sent to everyone. oh fuck.

i ran out to the others quickly.

"did you get thr message too?" nick said, all of them looking worried.

"she did this last time also, we need to go up there but ill be the one talking." i said, trying to stay calm.

we all went up there and i knocked on the door.

"y/n?, its me isaac. can you please unlock the door, we can talk about whatevers going on."

no response.

"y/n?" larry said this time "we all want to make sure your okay, we dont want you to harm yourself or anything.

"we could go through the bathroom? you can get in from there." tanner said

we all walked to her bathroom, figuring out that she was harming herself, the floor being covered in dry blood, pill bottles scattered, blade on the counter, larry froze, nick making him leave with tanner to leave and figure out how to calm themselfs.

3RD PERSON POV.

yumi and isaac slowly opened the door, peaking through it to see y/n almost lifeless on the ground.

"fuck dude." nick said from behind yumi, isaac running over to check if she was still breathing.

"y/n, can you hear me?" isaac questioned, holding her hand, yumi calling 911, nick freaking out trying to figure out what to do.

time skip cuz i dont know what to do..

y/n was breathing slowly in the hospital bed, isaac staring at her.

isaac was the most depressed out of all of them. he couldn't even try to not be emotional, loosing the girl he loved the most made him hurt. alot. he watched her lay there almost lifeless, holding her was the worst.

larry kept blaming himself, he felt like he always annoyed her, he joked too much. but he lost his funny personality and now he cant even peep a word.

tanner was alone, y/n felt like a sister to him, a best friend, a workout buddy, he felt empty inside. he didnt know what to do without her.

nick was a mess, he loved y/n like his sister also, his vlog buddy, his friend. everything was lonely without her.

yumi was the moodiest and quiet. he didnt talk to anyone, no one, not even her or the doctors, he never thought about what would happened if one of them died since her last accident. he was extremely upset.

all of them were silent on social media, grunk found out right after she was admitted to the hospital, he also was silent. the only message he said was "me and the group will be off twitter for a bit, thank you." which the others reposted, except for y/n. all of the fans were suspicious about this, she had spoke out about her mental health on the internet a few times, talked about her past, ect. her father was one of the first to be reached out when she was first in the ambulance, he explained what had might of caused this.

isaac was speaking to her softly, apologizing so many times, holding her hand, sobbing. until he had felt a squeeze on his hand. his head reached up and eyes brightened.

"its okay isaac, it wasnt your fault." she smiled brightly, she looked at larry who was smiling at her, going on the other side of her and hugging her gently. "and im sorry you had to see that larry, im sorry yumi, nick, and tanner." they had all hugged her.

she had stayed in the hospital for a few more days until she was allowed to go home, everyone was better and happy. she had also got help and reached out to a therapist, leading for her mental health to get better and made sure she never had anything to harm herself with again.

but thats only in fairy tales.

y/n had passed on a few days later, her overdose was a large dose. she was barely able to breathe. she had died the night everyone was there.

everyone watcher her coffin lower into her grave, isaac couldnt handle this anymore, he bursted out crying into yumis arms, he thought he did a terrible job as a lover, a partner, a friend.

yumi was standing on the roof of a building he had found, wind hitting his face watching the sunset, he had left all of his stuff at home. maybe suicide was a way to meet her again. he jumped off and landing in the water drowning himself.

larry was next, he found himself in the woods with a rope, tying it onto the tree he found, sunset hitting his face. he had it around his neck. jumping off.

tanner had dissapered one morning, never to be seen again. leaving nothing but a sorry note, his favorite items, clothes, ect.

nick had gotten into a car accident, running his car into a tree while drunk and not able to see.

isaac had posted on twitter about the group ending, he apologized and explained what happened with y/n. not going too deep into her story.

he took the pills on his desk and swallowed them, pulling the cover over his body, leading himself into a deep dark sleep.

maybe sometime in another life.

#the group chat #the group chat podcast #isaacwhy #bigt #marswhyyy #larrycroft #softwilly #yumi #grunk #angst #imsorry #uhmm crying rn

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arudoe · 5 months

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talk about bruise anything you want, i wanna hear

YAAAY MORE BRUISE

i alr talked about some hcs so ill chat a bit about some aus i have heehee!

- idol jay au !

i feel like this one is prolly the most well known (only because its the only one ive ever drawn for….) but basically jay is an idol/musician and cole is his nr1 fan! it was very inspired by prime empire and also those like harry styles x reader wattpad fics from back in the day… yeah…

all ive got for the story so far is that cole went to a fansign event and while getting his magazine signed jay also sneaks his personal phone number on one of the pages (something along tbe lines of xxx-xxx-xxx text me o_<) and… yeah things move on from there 🙏🙏

- mad scientist jay and his creature cole

OKAYY this might be one of my weirder ones but i think about it a lot 😭😭

anyways jay is a disabled basement dweller college dropout scientist guy and one day he kind of feels some paranormal presence in his lab and conducts a bunch of tests and comes to tbe conclusion there is a ghost floating around in his lab. so like the normal person he is he tries to communicate with it but only gets a bunch of weird cryptid messages that dont make sense… so he comes to bright idea of “hey! i should make this ghost a vessel they can possess!” so he makes a body frankenstein style and low and behold his plan worked!

cole, a ghost from the 80s who possessed the body is now chilling in jays lab with him, but like most people who have been dead for over 40 years he is very curious about the outside world and what has changed.

but jay for some reason is very adamant about him not going outside at all, which causes some tension between the two..

(the reason is jay has abandoned issues) (also cole is kind of a freak of nature) (affectionately)

I LIKE THIS AU A LOT cus its so stupid honestly and i love me some ghost cole also like im still mad about how ninjago decided to completely discard jays love for inventing… let the man make his little trinkets…

- wizard school au

basically what it sounds like… they are wizards.. at a wizard school… and do magic…

yes this was partly inspired by h*rry p*tter BUT ONLY THE VIBES (i barely remember the movies)

BUT UM this is like a whole universe thing and theres so so much lore and world building so… if u want a separate post about it… lmk

- roommates au!

this is my most recent one (and the one i think about the most) but um yeah pretty self explanatory it was based off this jdrama/manga called good morning call so uhhh ya!

basically cole and jay were enemies throughout highschool and basically spend all their energy hating each other but they to their separate ways during college but reunite (unwillingly) as roommates!

they navigate living with each other and learn to let go of their hate (which stemmed from a mixture of misunderstandings and insecurities) and then eventually fall in love!!

i think this is the au i have the most work done on (i have a draft for every major scene that happens in the story heehee) and perhaps! one day i will actually make it a real thing !

so um yeah! i have a bunch more but most of them are very unfinished or just… vague ideas or vibes i go by… i also have some aus that arent bruise so um if anyone wants to hear about those… smiles

BUTTT TYSM FOR UR QUESTION i dont rly say this a lot but any interaction i get with my content means the world to me and i always giggle and kick my feet when reading reblog comments bc everyone is so nice 🥹🥹

#ardosyapping #bruiseshipping

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lowkeiloki · 2 months

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kung fu panda 4 review - spoiler free

it was solid, not as good as the first three movies, but the og triology set the bar so high even a 'not as good' movie is still a fun watch. The animation is beautiful and you get quite a bunch of awesome action scenes out of it

zhen is a lot more likable when not voiced by awkwafina (croatian dub saved me ✊️) but even that wont save her from her character being pretty bland. ironically the same criticism for her design could be applied for her character as well, not bad, likable enough, just fails to stand out and ive seen it done better a lot of times already

chameleon... oh boy... so much potential, such incredible built up, such luckluster execution... ill talk more abt her in spoiler section, but honestly she was the weakest link of the movie

dont get your hopes up for furious five, they only really exist as a cameo, what you will get is mr ping and li being a very married couple and personally if theres anything worth seeing the movie for its them (still im hoping for at least a short abt the furious five, cmon theyve been non existent since kfp 3)

the pacing was too fast, and there were too many comedic and too little serious moments, glad im not the only one that noticed

ive seen a lot of complaints about tai lung and other past villains not being in the movie enough, but honestly im happy for that bc its not their movie, they all had their own movies to shine and i really feared this movie would rely too much on them to carry the hype and im glad that wasnt the case. PLEASE stop asking film studios to spoonfeed you familiar content

end of spoiler free review, spoilers under cut

the chameleon rant

you know, i believe the kfp movies are heavily carried by their villains. they're the ones that set the tone, bring the stakes, and not only are they a foe for po to defeat but represent his internal conflict (tai lung being self acceptance, shen being overcoming grief and kai being self discovery) so to have the villain be the movie's weakest spot is... not great at all

firsty, the chameleon is the first movie villain in the franchise to not have any beef with any of the main characters (like tai lung had with shifu, lord shen with po and kai with oogway) and that couldve been great, give us a villain that doesnt care about po or anyone else and is just doing their own thing, its something new and an unexplored territory, but then they do nothing with it.

what does she want? to rule the valley of peace? all of china? ok and then what? the city shes already rulling doesnt look like its doing too bad to me. why should i care about her being defeated? yeah shes mean, but where are the STAKES

and how does she reflect po's conflict? because its about accepting change and she's a chameleon? weak, that only connect on paper and only barely. is it how she was never accepted to train kung fu because of her size? that's such a lame motive. really? not a single kung fu place wanted to take you in for your size? in a franchise full of all the different characters of all different shapes and sizes being kung fu masters? yeah ok sure

what i did like about her is how they made her get her way through manipulation and intimidation. she's not strong, she's not a skilled fighter, she's not inherently scary, but she uses smoke and mirrors to intimidate people around her and manipulative tactics to get her henchmen to listen which ties nicely into her shapeshifting abilities, just wish theyve done more with it, show us how she spreads horror stories about herself, show us the influence she has over the townspeople, show us just how manipulative she is of zhen, hell have her be all kind and nice to her in moments to bait her to stay under her wing (yk as abusive parents do)

nothing much more i have to say so spoiler part was rly just abt the chameleon but i needed to rant abt her more in depth bc i had high hopes for her

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda 4

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markets · 14 hours

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For some reason this song will always remind me of the girl who will never realize what she did to me. i was always good friends with her ex boyfriend and she was always good friends with mine, and the way she acted around him sometimes bothered me once we broke up but i never said anything about it. one day she decided i was too close to hers and accused him of a bunch of stuff (none of which was true) while also saying god knows what to my ex about the whole thing even though he and i were still friends and im pretty sure a big reason why her ex would go to me for advice about their situation was because i was the only one of his friends who didnt tell him to just block her. i remember telling him that if he wanted to stop talking to me for the foreseeable future i genuinely wouldnt mind, because i didnt think it was worth all the trouble it was causing him. but he kept being my friend and ill always appreciate him for that

i would also constantly tell him to tell her to talk things out with me because i still considered her a close friend despite all the vile stuff she was doing to her ex months after they broke up, and she eventually did but i know she was just scratching the surface of what was really bothering her because her ex told me that before she even talked to me she'd already decided to just distance herself. sometimes he'd point out the hypocrisy in her getting mad at us being friends while she was close to my ex and i always told him to be careful, since i knew that she could easily twist that around to make me look jealous of their friendship even though, at this point in time, i wasnt anymore.

I now know that that's exactly what she did, since when my ex told me he couldnt be friends with me anymore he cited her as one of the main reasons. We used to be so close and then she got slightly mad at me and immediately went for two of my most important friendships, the worst part is i dont even think she realized she was doing it. i knwo i ruined my own life these past few months but if i were to blame anyone else, it would be her. She honestly scares me and i really dont ever want to talk to her again. And yet the other night i saw her crying on some stairs and ran to her. my ex boyfriend, who im not speaking to, came in from the opposite direction and asked me what i was doing, i said i was there to talk to her and he said ok you can talk to her then and i said no you can and he said no you can and walked away, i said "we both can" but he didnt hear me. I sat down next to her, gave her a hug, and asked what was wrong, she started talking about how her ex didnt care about her. when i assured her that he did, because he had no reason to talk to her if he didnt, she just shook her head. she kept talking and she was saying everything i was thinking about my own situation, and it almost made me cry until i remembered that she had everything i didnt, in every sense of the phrase. she had someone who cared about her, who wouldve been willing to stay with her if she hadnt done everything she did, who still loved her. I knew id fucked up but id tried so hard in ways she never had and yet i didnt have anything, not even my best friend. who she also had. I hated her so much in that moment but i just hugged her harder.

if she ever asks me about the whole thing ill tell her all this, and i know she'll pick out one small thing from it and use it to tell everyone im a horrible person, but i dont care anymore. Yesterday the planes over me were flying lower than ever and all i could think about was if any of them were going home

#angiemarkets.txt #Spotify

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elliefever · 8 months

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ᴇʟʟɪᴇꜰᴇᴠᴇʀ

Hi sillys! This is just an introduction to my page, and a kickstart into posting! Im a fic writer from Ao3, and im moving to tumblr in hopes that itll make it easier for me to keep up with writing!

(introduction below cut!)

ɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

My name is Eve, (Im 5'7 if you need a mental image) i'm a pansexual poc writer and im 19 as of july 💙

im a pretty open and reasonable person for the most part, and im not really picky about writing requests so feel free to send as many as youd like! im looking forward to interacting with anyone whos interested in my page 😊

with all the boring stuff about me aside, let's talk about what im planning on writing! (if you have any more personal questions about me, dont be afraid to ask them! ill answer to the best of my abilities.)

The Last Of Us

i am a huge tlou fan so i will for sure be writing about it!

Ellie Williams

I LOVE ellie williams so much omggnfjhfhx. ill be writing dealer!ellie, loser!ellie, college!ellie, modern!ellie, and ANYTHING you guys request me to write for ellie! she is my heart and soul and i absolutely love her!

Abby Anderson

abby is so yummy 🤤 ill be writing fics for her too! im not too educated on the different abby aus to write for but i am totally looking forward to writing your guy's suggestions! (and ellabs 😊💙💙)

Dina

I LOVE HER so much shes the best. shes 100% gonna make an appearance on my page!

The Walking Dead

Maggie Rhee

Maggie is simply too fine not to write for bro. i love her so much.

Rick Grimes

i can agree he is attractive and if im in a silly mood or get a request for him then ill write some...silly stuff

Daryl Dixon

same thing for rick goes for him too!

Also any other twd characters i decide to write for or get requests for!

Sally Face

i absolutely love sally face.

there's really not much to say revolving this fandom but i love sally and larry so much!

Criminal Minds

im a huge crime show lover lol

Spencer Reid

hes so hot i literally dont understand how he can be so fine. i have a lot of ideas for fics about him and i never see anything like the ideas i have so im hoping itll be good to publish those ideas?

im open to writing for other criminal minds characters too but no one gets me all giddy like spencer does 💙

Shameless

im honestly really only interested in writing for fiona x fem reader cuz i never see it, but if you guys have any other ideas for stuff i could write for shameless just lmk! 💙

Jennifer's Body

i LOVE this movie so much, i cant wait to write for jennifer and needy and make my gay heart unbreak for them. but also i was thinking, hear me out. what if i wrote an ellie williams fic but like... jennifers body au? like jennifer and needy but instead, ellie and fem reader? just a thought idk! should i?

THAT'S ABOUT IT! or at least all i can think of as of right now!

Things I will write!

Reader loving rock music and nu metal bands!

Reader playing instruments and being super cool

Reader of any gender!

I'll leave room for imagination but ill also put some ideas of reader's outfits for those who want a mental image

Reader having good music taste and a good sense of style

pet names

bold, aggressive, and dickhead reader

pretty much anything in between

Things I will NOT write!

age play, baby talk, uncomfortably cliche submissive reader

i wont romanticize domestic violence or make light of abusive relationship dynamics 👍

emotional whiplash, i want the scenes i write to blend smoothly

piss kinks and foot stuff (and any other really strange stuff)

smut where the characters are minors

let me know if you guys have any questions or anything at all! i hope to be uploading my first fic soon, which should i do first?

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moonsidesong · 1 month

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HI!!!! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT BFDI RECOVERY CENTERS!!!!!!! IM DOING IT UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE IM GOING TO RAMBLE!!!! I THINK ABOUT THIS TOPIC WAY MORE THAN ANY OF THE WRITERS EVER HAVE!!!!!!

sometimes i like to wonder how recent of an invention recovery centers are. bc like,,, we've seen time and time again in bfdi that these objects are inherently afraid of death/dying, like thats an instinctual thing they still have, but also they dont seem to care that much about it once it actually happens and sometimes dying -> recovery is seen as the most convenient option LOL

and i feel like a lot of the time these characters dont like, understand the concept of oblivion? whenever they're scared about a lack of recovery centers it comes off more like the kind of grief of a friend suddenly moving away more so than someone being Gone From The World Forever, if that makes sense. they're definitely still really upset, but it seems more like "noo i cant spend time with this person anymore nooo"

its hard to get a read on this stuff because outside of referencing real-world time between episodes they basically only use comically large or small numbers for time (like saying gb wrote a book a billion years ago or callling gelatin six years old because bfdia was six years old at the time). and i also really dont think these characters are coded to be a specific age group, but i personally like to think of most of these characters as part of a recent generation(s?) where recovery centers have been abundantly accessible their entire lives, so they've grown up not really worried about it, but at the same time haven't been around long enough for like, an instinctual fear of death to have entirely left. if that makes sense. theyve also been around long enough for them to just be tossed around anywhere i guess considering firey recovery centers being in the ground is just a completely acceptable theory LOL

i also like to think algebralians were part of the invention process somehow. cause imean. its been shown that recovery is a well known (albeit difficult) skill for them to learn naturally, so a powerful enough number/function would probably have a pretty good understanding of How it actually works, and also uhmmmmm uhh math is a part of engineering or something. Yeah. anyway uh thanks for reading my post im turning reblogs off because im EMBARRASSED because this is just WORD VOMIT maybe someday ill post like, an actually good form of this because i think about recovery centers and bfdi's death psychology way more than i should. if anyone reading this has their own hcs about RCs they should tell me teehee

#bri talks #brifdi

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prestonmonterey · 3 months

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hey so im v curious about like reality shifting and stuff but idk much about it and i have some questions

hii ok

im like

a bit eepy

but ill try to make my thoughts make sense

so

(forgive me, i wanna learn more about shifting and the community, but all of my knowledge comes from inherently critical sources, so im sorry if i come off as rude or anything, im not trying to be i genuinely want to learn more about this)

reality shifting

to my understanding

is like...kinda a combination of fiction/fanfic and dreaming.

and it stems from the idea of the multiverse?

and the idea. that you can exchange your consciousness with someones from another timeline/parallel universe

and usually this happens when youre dreaming or begins when you sleep

so

(also plz correct me if im wrong on any of the stuff above)

now onto question stuff

i think its pretty important, that like. a lot of the stuff ive seen around shifting and like, response to any criticism is basically like 'youre the only person holding yourself back" like, anyone can shift, so if you cant its your fault

and on one hand i guess this could be motivational? like as long as you try hard enough its possible?

basically i want to make sure it isnt hurting peoples self esteem or mental health

but also. i. had a similar experience with lucid dreaming when i was a kid. my mom had a phase about lucid dreaming and was telling me all about it and was like 'you should try it' so i did. i tried. over and over. to somehow just 'realize' i was dreaming and take control. it never worked for me. and my mom was like 'well i guess youre just not trying hard enough'

and it was really disheartening bc ive always had trouble with sleep (might have like. insomnia or something. ive never been able to sleep well through a full night even before my life was consumed by screens.) and ive always had extremely strange dreams. and in my waking mind of course i know that if my teacher turned into an octopus with an apple for a head (yes this did happen in a dream) i would definitely notice and be like 'hey, thats not right' but it doesnt work like that in dreams. in my dreams it kinda feels like my impulses control me and i dont have any sense of self or logic.

and it felt awful to be told that it was my fault that i couldnt do it.

i also know that lucid dreaming somewhat ties into shifting so thats one of my other concerns, bc ive never been able to lucid dream and i dont know if i ever will

also idk where to put this but like. safety is important to me. i have friends who shift and i want to make sure they arent like, actually at risk of dying? and even seperate from that im wondering if people use this as a form of escapism too often that it becomes unhealthy and like negatively affects other aspects of their life

next question: is there proof

of course theres going to be anecdotal evidence from individuals in the community, and thats super alright. but sometimes people make things up. and sometimes people tell made up things to young, impressionable children who carry those falsehoods into life. and im worried about that

ok so ive read like 1 artice about this all. but immediately it brought up a major red flag for me. it gave an example of a study on shifting. but. it didnt cite its sources

and if anyones wondering that is a huge no-no. anyone can make up conclusions from made up studies. the point of studies is to show that people who are properly educated and know what theyre doing support these claims.

now im not saying shifting is made up in any way. it just seems sketchy to me that seemingly widespread sources talk about studies but theres no links or anything. theyre basically saying 'i saw a thing about it. just trust me.'

also uhh...idk much about the multiverse. but from what i understand. it comes from the idea of free will. and that every time anyone makes a descision, a parallel universe is created where they made a different descision. so i get that that could change a lot of things about the world like the rate of inventions and industrialization and wars and stuff. but really the shifting that ive seen most is into more fantasy leaning worlds. and im kinda wondering how thats possible in the multiverse? like sure theres infinite timelines...but most of those timelines will just be like. the same as this one but samantha chose to put on her right sock first instead of her left sock or something. and physics still applies, right? so how does hogwarts exist? does hogwarts exist? if magic is real in a parallel universe, is it real here?

so basically to sum it up my main questions are:

how do we know shifting is possible for everyone?

is it safe? (mentally, physically etc)

is lucid dreaming necessary?

is there any proof or credible source that i can look to for more info?

and how does this tie into the multiverse theory

also if anyone has any information about scripting and like evrything about reality shifting that would be great

i wanna learn more but im afraid of finding misinformation

ty :3

#marble musings #reality shifting #shifting #shifting questions

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polyamorouspunk · 2 months

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hii taking you up on your advice offer 😭 ur poly so maybe u have more experience with this than me, how would i break up with my longterm partner?

we’ve been dating for 2 years, it really has seemed perfect but lately idk its just felt wrong. we’ve kinda planned our lives around eachother and moving in together once we graduate, but i cant make myself want to kiss them or be romantic anymore, i dont want to respond to their texts, i get annoyed at them for no reason. they havent done anything wrong theyre wonderful its a “its not you its me” situation to a T.

all of our friends are mutual friends, but most of them were technically my friends first (all the people they used to hang out with sucked) so im scared if we break up they wont have anyone to talk to about it. i really dont want to hurt them.

i honestly might realize this is just me being dumb and all of this will pass and ill want to be with them still once it does, but since i have no clue how id break it off i feel so trapped. i want to know i have a way out if things dont get better, i want to stay with them because i truly changed my mind not because i didnt have a choice.

Not in a poly sense but just a “have had a few relationships” sense I guess I can offer advice.

So I’ve never actually broken up with anyone before, except for the last guy I was messing around with (Catboy) just because as much as I had sooo much feelings for him it was like the most unhealthy “relationship” for me. Like I finally realized like “oh I’m actually NOT better off seeing him, my mental health is ACTUALLY worse” because of his shenanigans.

However, I did have a long term partner who I dated for 6 years who we had plans to move in together and get married etc. same kind of deal, all their friends were my friends. And they dumped me, and yeah, it was really fucking hard even though I knew everyone was going to take my side. And the one person who didn’t I ended up not speaking to anymore because I was like if you’re not going to realize that I’m the only one whose going to keep talking to you because my ex doesn’t give a shit about keeping in contact with people, then that’s on you.

I was devestated. This was like 3 years ago at this point and pretty much right up until about this year I felt like I was somehow “living in the wrong timeline” and like my entire life’s trajectory had been pulled out from underneath me. Not from the breakup so much as them just deciding they never wanted to speak to me again, that I was bad for their mental health, etc. which I always told them if I’m ever bad for your mental health then break up with me, and I meant it and stand by that and their decision, but it still fucking hurt.

Like if that’s what they had to do that’s what they had to do. If that’s what you have to do then that’s what you have to do. While I am of course resentful to my ex, and I hope they get hit by a car or something sometimes, I do stand by their decision that if I wasn’t good for them then I’m happy they left me behind. I don’t know if other people are going to have that same view upon being dumped. I mean like I said I still hate them. But to say that they should have stayed with me for my sake is hypocritical.

Not only that, but an issue of intimacy was occurring between us during the lead-up to the breakup. And as soon as I wasn’t with them anymore and I was able to be with Catboy instead I got a taste of what I had been missing and GOD it felt so good. For the first time ever I felt like someone actually wanted to be intimate with me. It was an amazing feeling. My ex dumping me opened up the door for me to have things I was missing in that relationship. So it wasn’t all bad, for sure.

You have to do what you have to do for yourself. You come first. If you need to break up with your partner, or take space, or whatever, you just have to go for it if you really think it’s what’s best for you.

#punk gets mail #the punk gives good advice

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