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elecman108 · 3 years

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Man, I forgot to post 90% of my art here for the past while. I’m gonna do an art dump in this post under the cut. Enjoy the bonk emoji if you don’t click the read more, and man am I dumb and forgetful lmao.

Includes: OCs getting names, a Sonic impression, a D&D map, homosexual energies, a sheep floating in the astral sea, a birthday drawing I already posted, Hex Maniac Ender, D&D Characters, D&D Characters as Miis in Miitopia, Little Hater Axel, local Demon in the consciousness of my D&D character yelling at him, illegal plants, a necromancer being cute, an actual event that happened in a D&D game two days ago, and Mermay drawing.

That’s everything in here as a TL;DR, I guess. Enjoy your day!

I’m gonna try and sort of have them in chronological order, oldest first, but I may end up putting them in the wrong order. If I do... Whoops, I guess?

[04/14/21] - This isn’t really new art, but I started to work on giving the four OCs of mine without a full name full names... I have not finished this bit, though. So Hunter and Akira have full names, and Warlock and Assassin only have temporary names. This may end up like Seven where I put in their names as a temporary name (7th OC I’d made at that time) and it just kind of... sticks. Lmao.

[04/20/21] - Alone on a Friday Night? God, you’re pathetic. I didn’t colour this one because it was a half-attempt at a meme image I still like it, though, so I might end up colouring it. It’s gonna appear again whenever I do my “unfinished drawings art dump” at some point probably in... June? I know I said I’d post them last month but forget it, lmao, it’ll happen eventually.

[04/20/21] - A D&D Map! This was to help me visualize the layout of my D&D character’s ship he used to be on. Also for my DM if they ever put us aboard the ship. The little fella in the corner is just there to vibe. This map is made of free to use assets from This Website, so while I’m gonna say DONT USE MY MAP WITHOUT PERMISSION, feel free to make your own!

[04/26/21] - Lesbian Day of Visibility drawing of yours truly, the disapointment! That’s... really all I have to say about this, honestly. It was just for that one day and that was it, lmao. I mean, I accidentally lined it in dark pink, so.. .That’s different, I guess?

[04/30/21] - Do Astral Seas dream of Ensorcled Sheep? Does the City know what Sheepleb is going to do? What crimes he may commit? Who knows! This was fan art of Critical Role ep. 134 if I remember correctly, right at the end when they jumped into the portal into the astral sea and Caleb was a sheep. Using my knowledge of the German language, I knew the word for “shit”, and had to use it.

[05/07/21] - This was already posted, but it’s going in here to dilinuate that it was drawn at this point. Also, aside from playing Miitopia, this is all I have to show for myself until the 12th.

[05/12/21] - Hex Maniac Ender challenges you to a Pokemon Battle! WIll you win against my team? My sis, who loves fairy types, pointed out to me that there’s a fairy girl and hex maniac duo, so I’d be the hex maniac. I spent... Over a week drawing this, because I basically had to redraw the Hex Maniac art from scratch in a higher quality size, and then draw myself over it. So... You can excuse the low-effort background for once. It was basically this, and then my birthday doodle from May 1st to May 12th, and then I took a break to draw up several D&D characters quickly for fullbody references.

[05/12/21] - Remember this art I made several months ago? I finally added my other two completed characters! I have three more named but without character sheet D&D characters, so for now this is just Kara, Axel, Golden Shadow, Kau, Cecillia, and Miri. Kress, Tempest, and Melia will have to wait until I make character sheets for them to be posted, and... For when I probably make more D&D characters. I have at least 9 additional, incomplete character ideas floating around, so... I’m never gonna be done this art, huh?

[05/12/21] - Speaking of D&D characters, did you know I’ve been making them as Miis in Miitopia? So here is their finished full body art next to their Miitopia self! Some of them look a little off (Golden Shadow, Cecillia) because of limitations of the editor and shading issues, some of them look a little off (Kau, Kress) because this is a human face canvas that I’m using to make a non-human face, and some of them (Melia, Axel) look REALLY GOOD. Common traits among my D&D characters include green eyes and tall. You wanna know why? Because I am tall and... despite having red eyes, I do have green eyes under the coloured contacts.

[05/15/21] - More D&D stuff! This is based around my D&D group’s current Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign where our Goliath Fighter, Nioh, ends up getting a little bit of hate for being cocky, and our little (well over 6′) hater, Axel, is just a man full of irritation. These are the tallest two characters of the group at the moment. Someone send help. Nioh belongs to one of the other D&D players, Axel (and his stupid additude) belongs to me.

[05/15/21] - This is what me playing D&D feels like. Me, the demon entity trapped inside the head of my D&D character, yelling at them to do things while the dice decide that they’re gonna get bopped a hundred times by a yeti and somehow still survive. This is also a reference to our first or second game where I just ran off like sixty feet to one side of the battle map to fight a Crag Cat and was just in Gay Baby Jail until like two turns later when I could run back to the others. I also drew him not in his winter gear even though this is a bit from when we were atop Kelvin’s Carin in an icy cave, so maybe that’s why he’s at low HP.

[05/15/21] - Melia has good gardening tips, such as Use A Mars Mii Trap To Hide A Body Because They Are Endangered And It Is Illegal To Dig Them Up. I love her a lot, because she’s the youngest of four, all four sisters based around the different seasons. She’s based around Autumn, so she’s all orange and yellow and brown and is so cute. Also she’s Chaotic Neutral, as if she didn’t need to be mildly more threatening.

[05/15/21] - Cecillia is my Tiefling gal who lived in a very northern town plagued by cold weather and snow, and Axel is my Pirate guy who spent most of his time further south on the high seas and warmer weather. So, naturally... I’ll use the guy more acclimatized to the hotter weather in the campaign where we spend 99% of it in the snow. She uses Tarot Cards as her spell focus, and I decided to sneak my other D&D characters onto her Tarot cards so naturally, Axel is The Hanged Man, given his backstory and personality. She’s a very cheerful and friendly Tiefling Necromancer of the Hexblade, so she’d for sure take care of those around her to ensure their success. Especially if they’re on her Tarot Cards, and their spirit comes to her aid when she asks for them.

[05/16/21] - Content Warning; Ryma thinks too much into local stupid moron’s lack of knowing how to answer a question and thinks too much into the reputation of Pirates. Poor Axel, man doesn’t know how to socialize with people who aren’t pirates and is used to being hostile towards everyone, so when he’s asked a question that his answer to is “uhh... no?”, he panics and ends up making a mistake that leads him to think that Ryma can read his mind. Ryma belongs to another of the D&D players. I guess me drawing all those spicy Cow Costumed OCs earlier just brought me to drawing Axel being a bottom in this, huh?

[05/16/21] - It’s Mermay, which means more OC drawings! Here’s Theo after drinking some potion that turned him into a mermaid, and Seven, tiredly, collecting his stupid boyfriend so that Lailah can fix the fact he’s turned into a mermaid. Mer!Theo is based around his sword’s colours of indigo-purple with red accents, which looks a little weird since Theo is the Blue one of the group, but... it looks cool, I guess. Seven’s just the same outfit as always, just no gloves this time.

And that’s it for the art dump! This was, frankly, MASSIVE. I’ll try and remember to upload both on Twitter and Tumblr at the same time, but... Ah... I have been drawing a fair bit. Just mostly sketches and linework that I haven’t finished and may not actually finish. If they’re not completed, I’ll dump them all into something at the end of the month or whatever. Maybe you’ll get the old sketch of the Axel face in panel 3 because in the sketch phase it was an Ahegao face, in the clean sketch it was a lip bite, and in the linework and final it’s just horny face. lmao.

Top ten things I have to remember for drawing: AXEL HAS A SCAR AND GREEN EYES. I remember his eye colour now, but if you look at his fullbody ref, he’s got brown eyes. And, naturally, I keep forgetting to put in his scar. He has more, but most of them are located in areas covered by his clothes. So if I ever draw him shirtless I guess I’ll have to place them somewhere.

Also maybe finish the reference sheets I have left to finish so I can post more of them, since I have two “Pets” completed (Roko and Mona’s nameless pet), but I have to do up Hunter, Warlock, Assassin, Akira, Myuut, and Stella. I’m betting when I do complete two more, it’ll be Hunter and Akira. Those two are the most fun to draw, at least.

#the disappointment speaks #drawings by me #OCs #D&D #art dump #Miitopia #of all of these drawings I gotta say the most cursed is censored bottom!Axel and the most blessed is Cecillia's lap nap #I drew a lot of D&D stuff lately! Most of my OC stuff has stayed in the sketch stage so #I guess that says something about what I've been prioritizing in my drawings?#Also that drawing a twunk as a twink is incredibly funny and cursed. love my pirate boy

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

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THAT MAP

i didn’t die

also spoilers. like. major spoilers. im serious.

dont click that read more unless you’re totally okay with spoilers cause i talk about some endgame stuff too <3

CELESTICA ERIDIA

THAT ERIDIAN RIFT HUHHHHHHH ITS RIGHT NEXT TO PANDORA

WE’RE ENTERING THE FLORPUS

IT LOOKS LIKE THERE’S A WAY TO TRIANGULATE/OPEN THE WORMHOLE OR SOMETHING???

alright LOOK

each planet (Eden-6, Promethea, Pandora) they’re all circled and when their lines cross it leads to SOMETHING

and looking at the grid that’s obviously what looks to be a wormhole

so we’ve also got the lines

“elpis - not what it seems. is elpis a lens? or a conduit. or both?”

A CONDUIT/LENS?? FOR W H A T??

ARE WE BEAMING SOMETHING OUT OF PANDORA? BECAUSE IF THESE TEMPLES ARE ALL SIMILAR PYRAMID-LIKE STRUCTURES TO THE ONE ON ATHENAS THEN THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE

this is DEFINITELY on pandora (you see elpis up there) so it’s possible something is going to hit elpis and it’s going to beam to this vault-thing and open up a gateway to the Eridian Rift??? OR

we open this Vault and it beams something up to elpis and elpis helps open up part of the Eridian rift

i’d guess we’d need all 3 (?) active to open it?? Eden-6, Pandora, and Promethea

so something SEEMS to be getting beamed either from elpis to pandora or from pandora to elpis

but im going to get elpis to pandora given the way it’s being thrown out? like it hits elpis straight on and then defracts over pandora like a prism

im guessing it’s such a broad spread bc it’s trying to hit the vault-temple-thing we see above (still... not quite convinced those are vaults like we’ve been seeing them in the past games (with lots of big loot inside). again something like teleporters makes way more sense to me)

they also bring this up, that athenas and promethea have a draw to one another, which makes sense since part of the promethean vault key is on Athenas

“Although Athenas is not in the Promethean System, there is a strong pull detectable through use of [eridian resonator (customized) which I have discovered here (seen in purple)]” i have no idea if any of the bracketed stuff is right“

more importantly it looks like one piece of Promethea’s asteroid belt is ‘highlighted’ which i imagine is that giant space laser

which ngl surprises me because

this doesn’t really look eridian to me at all. like, okay, the laser part IS purple but... the actual tech doesn’t look Eridian at all. it looks VERY human. maybe maliwan/atlas discovered it and changed it somehow? that’s pretty much the only reason i can give. like they made it so it would only hit a certain area (concentrated) instead of the entire planet (like we see Elpis doing)

also if we look at Eden-6

eden-6 seems to be 1 of 6 (or more) planets surrounding the gas giant (?) named Eden (which is such a cool fucking detail). or maybe that’s just a solar system named eden. either way. AWESOME.

my question is:

is Eden going to act similarly to Elpis? to the Asteroid Belt of Promethea?? because if that’s the case OH MAN MORE GIANT SPACE LASERS. maybe this is why ships keep on crashing to Eden-6. We know the planet is basically a ship graveyard, maybe there’s some Eridian interference that’s causing this to happen???

Also, when they say “Vaults lead to other Vaults” do y’all think this is tied into in any way the “Vault of Vaults” or whatever “It” is???

because THE VAULT OF VAULTS??? APPARENTLY WE WERE NAUGHTY AS FUCK FOR OPENING IT (the overseer says so when you accept the quest for the proving grounds)

AND THE MASTERS (whoever the FUCK they are!) ARE NOT HAPPY BOYS

ALSO “UNIVERSE DESTROYING POWER” AS CLAIMED ON THE WEBSITE

UHHH IM GONNA GUESS THAT RIFT IS ABOUT TO KILL EVERYONE AND/OR LET OUT A BIG OL SPACE DEMON COUGH THE DESTROYER COUGH

ALSO WE PROBABLY ARE CONFIRMED THERE ARE TEMPLES ON EACH OF THE PLANETS WITH THAT DIAMOND SHAPE

THEY MATCH UP WITH THE SYMBOL WE’VE SEEN EVERYWHERE

(also we now can guess this takes place after Athenas..?)

‘Vault... Key?’ i mean... think about it. we know the symbol for Vault is the circle with the arch. but this is different. this is diamond with, yes, with a vault shape in it. but... there’s obviously more to it than just the vault symbol

plus tannis is using it on pedestals dedicated to Vault Keys so i mean. you know.

and if this IS the symbol for Vault Key than oh man oh me oh my

that would mean opening up the ‘mini vaults’ on Pandora/Promethea/Eden-6 would lead to that big Eridian rift opening, whatever it is

which could explain this line: “the Vaults lead to other Vaults” “Smart, Leda!”

looks like Typhon met someone who writes in blue. who’s name is Leda.

calling it now typhon totally banged a Siren named Leda and had 2 twin kids (it runs in the family) the twins take after their parents: one red, one blue. possibly inherit the Cloth Map and learn about the purpose of the Vaults through it. i got nothing on the cage thing but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if Typhon or Leda ended up going crazy at some point and/or having kids inside of a Vault for some ungodly reason. spewing random shit about ‘bandits this, bandits that’ to keep them from leaving. maybe they knew their adventures were going to (eventually) lead to the destruction of the universe so they wanted to keep their kids safe without having to admit they’ve doomed everyone outside this has no proof at all, im just spitballing lol i mean look at these love-sick FOOLS lmao

look they both left messages (that i can’t read) with hearts at the end of them

“Genius! [gibberish i can’t make out] <3″ “you know it! <3″

we don’t know what the Vaults really are for, huh Tyreen?? NOW WE DO. NOW. WE DO.

“ERIDIAN GLYPHS ARE CYHPERS!” (sic???)

“by overlaying various found glyphs patterns emerge which are then...” ASDFGSHJ i CANT READ THIS “What is the machine?” “We’ll figure it out together!” MACHINE????????

i NEED it

“Mapping in progress: the key-glyph [something] is an Eridian cypher hiding coordinates to some kind of cyber (????) structure” this perhaps???

also the proving grounds. let’s talk about those. we know they’re eridian, we know there’s 6 of them, we know there’s 1 at least on both Athenas and Eden-6.

we know those Eridian Ruins/Cyphers lead to the proving grounds. we know this much. so is it definitely confirmed the proving grounds hold a higher place in the story than they’re saying? i mean let me pull up my other draft talking about these in-depth and copy paste because there’s only 36 minutes until the NEXT endgame content stream

“Later in the campaign, you may be worthy of taking part in the Proving Grounds: themed gauntlets watched over by a Guardian known as the Overseer who wishes to test your mettle on behalf of the mysterious ‘Masters’.”

so it sounds like at least one is going to take place during the main campaign of the game.

as for uhh who the Masters are... I don’t know. I imagine they’re Eridian in some way/shape/form. to be honest, considering the Overseer is a Guardian (confirmed), I imagine these ‘Masters’ are just literally Eridians. some sort of council, perhaps. i mean “the masters will determine who is at fault” for “naughty humans opened the vault of vaults”. so i imagine they’re like a council.

Let’s start listing stuff we know about the Proving Grounds:

1. you get them by translating (we apparently get a translator later on in the story) Eridian texts (ciphers) left behind, which tell us where (?) these proving grounds are. why we’re not just using tannis... i dunno. something better not have happened to Tannis, gearbox

We’ve seen these texts in the Eden-6 gameplay, so it looks like maybe we won’t need the eridian doritos stabby thing to break any crystals. damn youuu

“Ohhh good. Nonsense.”

i make jokes with my friend that soon i’ll be able to read Eridian given how much i stare at these tablets. it’s only a matter of time...

2. there’s apparently 6 of them, and at least 1 on each planet. We’ve seen the Athenas (Survival) and Eden-6 (Instinct) versions, which does make me wonder if there’s any tie between 6 of these trials and the 6 Sirens...

Also, given there’s supposedly 6 trials and only 5 planets (as the community has gotten devs to tell us), it makes me wonder a) if there’s actually 6 planets or b) why there’s only 1 planet with 2 per planet. i guess if that’s the eridian homeworld then it’d make sense if they have 2.

(Also Varnell did originally say 7 trials at first, but he gets a pass because he was live on stage and i would’ve made that mistake too knowing my dumb brain lol)

3. Apparently during the narrative of the game, at some point, we will unlock at least 1 trial.

“[proving grounds are] encased in the narrative of the game. a combat challenge the Eridians have left for the player to kinda prove themselves worthy for... things i won’t completely spoil right now, but uhhh prove themselves worthy to the ancient, lost, Eridians.”

so... YEAH. big news, gamers.

does this take place at the end of the game? its possible. its likely considering this is considered endgame content. it might not. it could be both, like sort of a repeatable thing. im not really certain.

What I am certain about tho, is that this takes place after a huge story event.

So, maybe the BL3 story ends on a cliffhanger. Tbh i would upset if that happened, but THAT SAID, if the game does end on such a huge cliffhanger that this is AWFUL and the end of the universe is coming, I don’t think we’d be getting 4 story DLCs that completely ignore this problem.

The devs had said the entire story will be contained within bl3 (no splitting it up between dlcs), and it seems the games like to keep the timeline intact in the real world, so if imminent death is on its way, we can’t exactly wait 5 years irl and in-universe for borderlands 4.

So, if this is a cliffhanger ending, I don’t think whatever happens is... that big of a deal. Sort of the level of finding the Vault Map at the end of BL2. It’s big news! but it’s not going to end the universe. The story marches on. We figure out the new goalposts of this universe and keep doing stuff outside it.

Now that we know that, let’s take note of what the Overseer says at the start and end of this mission:

“Vault Hunter... I thought you might show up sooner or later. So naughty your species, so curious. The Vault of Vaults has been opened and it has been released. Prove your worth and I will reveal why the Masters made me wait for you”.

“Naughty humans opened the Vault of Vaults, but the Masters will determine who is at fault. Until next time, Warrior.”

so that’s some pretty fucking loaded dialogue, isn’t it?

im vvvvvvvvvv curious about who this ‘it’ character is... something the Eridians didn’t want out- well, that’s bad, because we (or the twins, or maliwan, or both I guess) just let it free. and the fact the Overseer won’t even reference the thing by name... that’s probably bad. If this is an actual entity, then that is mostly why I believe this particular Proving Ground takes place during the main story.

that said, ‘it’ could literally be anything. Knowledge, hope, whatever. the potion you brew to become a Siren. you know. anything. She called whatever was released ‘it’ and it doesn’t seem like we’re in a RUSH or anything. Just hanging out doing proving grounds. and apparently this is because we’ve been naughty humans. not evil, just naughty. like she’s giving us (or the cult) a slap on the wrist.

The Overseer doesn’t seem too affected by us opening the Vault of Vaults herself. The Masters apparently are trying to determine ‘who’s at fault here’, like it isn’t exactly clear. was it the humans for opening it? was it the eridians for making them openable?

it would be interesting if this isn’t even talking about something that happens in game, but instead like... she’s referencing Typhon and Leda. the Vault of Vaults had been opened (by Typhon and Leda) and IT has been released... whatever it is... maybe the reason Typhon and Leda locked their kids in a vault? ... i mean if we’re going by the eridium/slag causes psychos, then maybe that? we definitely find eridium on planets other than pandora...

also speaking of stuff taking place during the game, lets remember what was discussed in that interview: “[proving grounds are] encased in the narrative of the game... a combat challenge the Eridians have left for the player to kinda prove themselves worthy for... things i won’t completely spoil right now, but uhhh prove themselves worthy to the ancient, lost, Eridians.”

worthy of what, exactly?

I’m still of the belief that it’s for the title of Vault Guardian (and, yes, by proxy, i want to say Siren, but y’all won’t take me too seriously if i keep advocating for this crack theory lol... implying you took me seriously in the first place 🤡) because of the Guardian Rank

the fact we’re killing Fallen Guardians means, technically, a position HAS opened up... plus I don’t think the Watcher would have come in contact with Lilith if she didn’t think the Eridians needed us

that said, if this isn’t for just becoming Vault Guardians, then... idk. If this is strictly endgame stuff, i don’t even know what we’re trying to prove our worth for.

I guess worthy of not being thrown into alien prison is probably a good one. magic space prison is probably hard to get out of. like, ‘200 years an opening’ hard to get out of. and ur roommate is the destroyer 😨

i mean... maybe worthy of entering the Eridian Rift? i mean... it’s possible this rift leads to the eridian homeworld... there would have to be one HELL of huge Vault Monster to keep people from getting through :o

anyway, we’ve got 20 minutes until the new endgame content, i’ll be sure to add onto here if we learn anything new and/or i think of anything else. im vibrating over this shit, it’s awesome. i LOVE this map. might have to pick one up on ebay or smth.

#borderlands spoilers #spoilers #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3

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parkaiur · 5 years

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Revenge - Jihoon

❀ Angst + Fluff + Comedy

❀ Word count: 8.1 K

❀ After catching your brother and your best friend having sex, you lose faith in both of your relationships with them. You brother has always been the star of the family, leaving you to have nothing, and now including your best friend. As you bump into his arch nemesis at a convenience store, you start to rethink your anger and your life. As you’re starting to get too close to him, you wonder if it’s because for revenge, or is it because you’re starting to fall in love.. no way can it be the latter.

❀ WARNINGS: IMPLIED sex, sexual themes, swearing, and mentions of smoking and alcohol use

❀ A/N: this turned out differently and it’s kinda racy except i dont add the racy parts lghsdjghfdg

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I didn’t plan on walking in on my brother and best friend having sex.

But it happened.

And I am now trying to bleach my eyes out.

And drink the bleach.

“y/n please, don’t be so dramatic! It was only kissing!” My brother yelled. I stormed out of his room like I had seen a murder, which this almost was the same thing.

I shivered and avoided all eyecontact with him.

“y/n, you seriously can’t be mad right-”

I whipped around and glared at him before he said anything.

His shirt was messily put on and his hair looked like someone had been running their fingers through it. Not someone. My best friend.

“You whore! You seriously have to sleep with every one around me! And I don’t care about that, but my best friend? Are you serious, Hyunsuk? The one person who likes me more than you!” I ran my fingers through my hair viciously and I tried to rub the scene out of my head.

In no way should someone ever walk in on another having sex. Ever. It was awkward, embarrassing, and disgusting all at the same time.

Soon, I saw my familiar best friend stumble out of the room with her bra straps twisted and my brother’s shirt sliding off her shoulders. Her hair was even messier than Hyunsuk’s and her lipstick was messy around her lips.

I groaned in anger at the messy scene. “y/n, please, let’s just talk this out. I’m really sorry.”

Her words went in one ear and then out another as I felt my legs give in.

“How long?” I snarled. The two of them looked at each other, probably calculating what to say. It made me sick to my stomach that they looked at each other with such trust. How could I have missed it? How?

“Two months.” Hyunsuk said slowly. Jimin, my best friend, avoided eye-contact with me.

Two months.

Two whole months without telling me the truth.

Two whole months of lies.

“So what? It just never came up or something? You never bothered to tell me you two were seeing each other? What the hell?” I spat angrily. My thoughts were all fuzzy and all I could think of was how mad I was.

I got the temper from Hyunsuk. He growled and fixed his shirt so that it fell flat on his chest.“Why did we have to say anything? You don’t do anything with your life! You just sit around all day and go out smoking and drinking all the damn time! How is anyone supposed to talk to you when you’re shitfaced all the time!”

I felt anger rush through my veins; I clenched my fists to keep myself from hitting him, or something.

“You’re always so angry all the time, at the world, at other people, but you’re never mad at yourself! You make it so hard for people to talk to you about how they feel.”

Hyunsuk shook his head at me.

“You’re an asshole, how dare you try to blame this on me! This whole situation is NOT about me, it’s about how you two have been fucking each other behind my back! How could you steal my best friend from me, you asshole!” I screamed pushing him backwards. I could tell he was holding himself back from pushing me too.

“Please, y/n, I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Jimin said sadly. Tears were filling her eyes, but I had no pity for her right now.

“Well it did.” I spat. Hyunsuk stood protectively in front of her.

“Stop it, y/n. Sure, we lied to you. But we love each other, ok? I wouldn’t hurt Jimin. You? You let no one close enough to hurt them.”

“That’s not true-”

“Oh really? Can you count the times you’ve seen Jimin these past two months?” I laughed in his face.

“Are you serious? I’ve seen her every week!” I screamed.

“Only every week-”

I held my hand up to silence him. “You know what? This doesn’t even matter! You’ve been lying to me this whole time, how dare you try to make me feel bad? I’m your fucking sister! I told you she was off limits!” His face turned red.

“Well you don’t get to control who I date, ok?! You don’t get to control Jimin either! You have a problem, y/n. We didn’t tell you for the first weeks because we knew you would be mad, but eventually, we realized that you’re always so focused on yourself all the damn time that you couldn’t even figure out how in love we are.”

Jimin grabbed his hand tightly as Hyunsuk shook with emotion.

I hated them.

“Well, we love when people can own up to their mistakes.” I said sarcastically. I turned around and grabbed my keys. “You guys can fuck in peace now, I’ll be leaving.” I snarled. Before I could step out of the house, Jimin stopped me.

“y/n, I’m sorry for lying to you..” She started. I could feel the pause in her voice. “But Hyunsuk has a point... you’ve been so unavailable lately. Like everything sets you off and you felt so distant. Anyways, what I’m saying is that I’m sorry for lying, but I’m not sorry for loving your brother. If you really loved us, then you can forgive us.”

I felt a pit in my stomach drop at her words. She was blatantly taking my brother’s side. She’s never taken my brother’s side. Everyone takes his side. My parents, my other friends, my extended family, the neighbors, teachers, everyone.

And now her.

She put a gentle arm on my shoulder and I swatted it away like it had diseases.

“You know what? I don’t even know what I feel anymore. Obviously you’re just like everybody else, taking his side and leaving me in the dust.”

“y/n, don’t be like that. You brought this upon yourself. You don’t even try in school anymore, you skip to go do dumb shit! You used to be captain of the basketball team, a straight A student, everything!” Hyunsuk said angrily. He hugged Jimin gently who was crying now.

I needed to get away.

This was too much for me.

“Well now I can do dumb shit without the two of you judging.” I gave the both of them one last hard stare before walking out of my house.

❀ ❀ ❀

I found myself at a random convenience store.

I hadn’t had dinner yet and some ramen was good comfort food.

Hyunsuk didn’t know shit about me. Yes, I had been quite the good girl back in the day, but I had never gotten any praise for my parents about it. Hyunsuk was constantly praised for being star pitcher on the baseball team and the president of student council which he had only run for just to put on his college applications. And since he was the most popular boy at school, he easily won. The vice president was incredibly mad since he had worked so hard on the campaign but it fell short due to my brother’s visuals and charisma.

The vice president was also quite popular, but he was a year younger than my brother which left him to be slightly less popular.

Of course now that my brother is in college, the vice president is now president, but I know they still have that rivalry.

“Oh, hey, you’re y/n!” I heard a very familiar voice say. I looked up and saw the president of the school staring right at me. I gave him a crooked grin, one I’ve perfected.

“Yes I am and you’re...” I looked down at his nametag like I didn’t know who he was. “Jihoon.” I finished. He gave me that stare he gave all the girls in the grade.

One I never fell for.

“Ha ha, you’re now pretending to not know who I am?”

“How are you so confident that I know who you are?” I spat back.

He laughed as he scanned my ramen. “Maybe because your brother is my worst enemy. And we’ve gone to the same school since the 3rd grade.” He added with a chuckle.

I couldn’t help but laugh too. “Maybe I’m not supposed to be talking to the enemy.” I said with a small grin. It was a light joke Jihoon and I had kept over the years. We had never been friends because of Hyunsuk and that was good because we didn’t have the same group of friends.

“Enjoy your ramen.” I nodded in thanks and walked to a counter nearby to heat it all up. My stomach was growling which pained me to stand.

I ate in a nice silence until I felt a shadow looming over me. I turned around and saw Jihoon smiling at me.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Yes, I do mind.” I snapped back. The boy didn’t care and sat next to me either way. I tried not to roll my eyes.

“So, what brings you here at almost midnight?”

“Why are you working at almost midnight?” I instantly retorted. The boy laughed.

“Touche. But I asked first.” He pointed out. I sipped some of my broth and shrugged.

“Hungry.” I said shortly. I hated talking to people. Jihoon knows that. I have no idea why he’s talking to me right now.

The boy sighed and started to eat his bowl of ramen too.

“I’m working here at midnight because I need a job if I want to go to college next year.” I nodded in agreement even though I wasn’t going to college next year. “Where you applying?”

I shook my head. “Not going to college. Where did you-”

The boy stopped me before I could say anything. “Woah, what? You’re not going to college? Why?” I stared at him as he stared back with innocent eyes.

“Are you serious? Have you seen my grades?” I took a swig of water as he rolled his eyes.

“Ok, I mean, you could still apply to a local community college or something. Or take a gap year.” I sighed and tried not to laugh at him.

“Jihoon, college just isn’t for people like me. I’d rather just... work or die or something.”

Jihoon choked on his noodles.

“Hey, don’t joke like that.”

I was joking but I could tell there was pain and fear in his eyes. “Sorry, it was a joke.” I don’t know why I spared his feelings. Usually I would just say it wasn’t a joke and move on, but something told me Jihoon wouldn’t let a suicide joke slide.

The boy grumbled and returned to eating his ramen.

He finished in the blink of an eye. He looked at me who was only half way done. “Do you like milk or juice more?” He asked randomly.

I gave him a weird look. “Um juice.”

“Lactose intolerant?”

“No, I just like juice.” He opened his mouth to ask me a question but I shut up him with my words.

“Why are you talking to me?” I asked suddenly. His eyes turned into confusion as mine looked angry.

“What?” He repeated. I sighed and pushed my bowl away.

“Why are you talking to me? You’re like the most liked boy in school and I’m... the most hated. You shouldn’t waste your time with me.” I snarled. I had no idea why I was suddenly angry. I threw the food in the trashcan and knew I would be hungry later, but I wasn’t in the mood to eat. I was close to storming out of the store until Jihoon ran in front of me.

“Hey, don’t speak as if you’re nothing. You’re fun to talk to.” I narrowed my eyes at me to see any hint of humor, but his expression was completely serious which made me uncomfortable.

“And you’re a liar.” I tried to push past him but he followed me out. “Why are you so adamant in talking to me?”

Jihoon gave me a cocky smile. “I just told you, you’re fun to talk to. Why can’t I talk to someone who is fun?” I glared at him.

“If you think you can just throw a smile at me and get in my pants, you’re wrong.” I snarled. I shouldn’t be deceived by his cute face and charming smile. All boys just want one thing: sex. And I mean, I wasn’t upset at that. I wasn’t a prude or anything but I could not have sex with Hyunsuk’s worst enemy-- no matter how pissed at him I was.

Jihoon didn’t laugh out loud but rather with his eyes. “Why? Is it turning you on?” I punched him on the arm.

He flinched in pain, but I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Wow, guess the rumors about you were true.”

I froze at his words.

My whole demeanor changed and I tightened my jaw.

“Hey, wait, sorry, that was mean. I didn’t mean that in a bad way, ok, I didn’t mean to be mean but.” He stumbled over his words. “I’m sorry, really sorry.” I couldn’t help but be sensitive especially since the two people I loved most in the world thought the same about me.

I tried to shake the memory of betrayal out of my brain.

“No, you’re right. You shouldn’t hang around me, I’m a bad girl.” I spat with humor I didn’t know I had. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. A wave of smoke flowed from my mouth as he cringed backwards.

“Maybe I like them bad.” I chuckled.

“Yes, that’s why you look like you’re swimming in bleach.” Jihoon waved his hand in front of his face as he glared at me. I blew more smoke in his face just to piss him off.

“Why do you even smoke so fast?”

“Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.”

He stood in silence for a little bit.

“That’s from Looking for Alaska, I know that book.” He said proudly.

I laughed as I set my hand down. “Good to know you read.”

Jihoon cocked his head at me. “You used to like to read.” I shrugged thinking back to the times I used to read in the libraries instead of sitting with my friends. Maybe that’s why they all left me.

No, it’s because you turned into a whore and an alcoholic, that’s why everyone left you.

"Don’t act like you know me well.” I spat. “You only know me because you hate my brother.” I threw the cig on the ground and stomped on it.

I opened the door to my car but before I could get in, he stopped me.

“Wait, um, can I get your number?” I froze at his question. I locked eyes with him and saw his face was hopeful, yet nervous. I felt my heart quicken and I wanted to rip it out. Suddenly guilt filled my body.

“You don’t want my number.” I slammed the door on him and drove away.

I got home and walked right into my room, angry at myself and at the world. Hyunsuk’s room was empty, probably staying with one of his friends. He lived off campus because dorming was too expensive for my family. Plus, my mom wouldn’t be able to handle my brother being away and spending too much time with me, the one she hated.

I grabbed a bottle off my shelf and sat down on my comfy bed. “You’ll always be my best friend good ol’ Jack.” I don’t even know how much I drank until my eyes became hooded and my body became numb.

❀ ❀ ❀

Monday.

The worst day of the week.

I walked into class with a hangover that you could smell and see.

And I might’ve woken up and taken a swing or two before attending school.

“Miss y/n, please excuse yourself to the principal’s office. You are in no shape or form to be at school today.” My first period teacher told me. I glared at him, but it came off as crazy since my eyes were bloodshot and heavy.

“No, no, I’m f-fine realllllyyy.” I slurred. My mouth felt thick and my head: heavy.

The teacher pointed to the door and told me to get out. I didn’t fight him and picked up my things before stumbling out the door. I locked eyes with Jimin who would usually stick up for me in these times, but she said nothing. I felt a burn of betrayal as I stumbled out alone. I heard whispers erupt throughout the classroom as I left.

The words ‘slut’ ‘whore’ ‘drunk’ ‘alcoholic’ all blurred together with my headache. I stumbled into the familiar office but I saw a student already there.

The principal’s eyes widened. She stood up with hard eyes and the student was surprised. I looked to my side and saw the boy I rejected yesterday night.

“I’m drunk.” I confessed.

The principal sighed loudly.

“Jihoon, you can go back to class now, um, we’ll finish our meeting tomorrow.” Jihoon stood and held me as I almost fell into his lap.

“Shit, y/n, are you ok?” I heard vaguely. I tried to nod but it hurt my head.

“Just peachy. Let me go.” I pulled my arm away harshly. I hated when people touched me out of comfort or love. I just fucked people and moved on, but anything other than that disgusted me.

“Sorry, um.” He didn’t finish his sentence. “I’m going to drive y/n home now, uhh later mom.” Oh gosh, I totally forgot that Jihoon’s mom was the school’s principal.

The woman sighed and sat back in her chair. “Thank you. And y/n, I’ll be talking to you when you’re sober.”

He tried to grab my wrist, but I pulled him away as I flew out of the principal’s office. “You’re not driving me home, I can drive home just fine.” I argued.

I was lying. I never drove when I was drunk. I would just take a nap in my car until I sobered up. Jihoon sighed and shook his head.

“No, you’re obviously drunk. You can’t drive, silly.” He knocked my head but it felt like he had slapped me all the way to Antarctica. I didn’t argue anymore as I walked myself to his car.

He helped me in and started to drive. I felt like everything was going too fast. “Don’t throw up in my car or else you have to give me your number.” At his joking words, I laughed. “I’m serious!” He hummed.

I laid back in the seat. “I know you are. And I don’t want you to be.” I said with a serious tone. Jihoon looked over to me and raised a brow.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re only going to get into trouble for being with me.” I stated. Jihoon shook his head but said nothing. He couldn’t because I wasn’t wrong.

Soon, we arrived at my house. “Thanks for the ride.” I said quickly. I hopped out of his car, stumbling as I hit the ground. He sighed and came to my aid quickly.

“I don’t know, maybe I need a number instead of a thanks.” He teased. I sighed and tossed my phone at him. “There’s no lock on it.” He looked at me suspiciously.

“Really? You’re going to give in that easily?” I sighed.

“Yup. Now do it before I change my mind.” I saw him quickly type in his number and exchange them so that I had his and he had mine. I couldn’t help but smile at his intense gaze, careful not to mess up. A piece of hair flew into his hair and I held back the urge to push it back.

I grew anxious at the caring thought and grabbed my phone back when he was done.

“Go back to school, dude. You’re too nice.” I said with a shake of my head.

“Is being too nice a bad thing?” I paused for a moment.

“Yes.”

❀ ❀ ❀

My mom was home.

School started at 8 and her work started at 9. I used to sneak alcohol around my parents, but after a while, I stopped. They knew what I was doing. I wanted to them to know what I was doing.

She was sitting at the table and eating some pancakes, her favorite. I tried to walk past her, in no mood to fight with my burning headache.

I could feel her eyes widen as I walked by.

“Y/N, you get back here right now.” I sighed loudly and turned around to face her. She examined my messy hair and unkept clothes. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of alcohol on my breath and body. I was messy when I drank.

“Good morning.” I stated happily.

“You- you,” She stuttered out. Anger was all over her face, but she just sat back down and calmed herself down. “Why couldn’t you just have been like your brother? Why did you turn out this way?” She spoke in a hushed tone but I could still hear her. I pretended my heart didn’t ache at her words.

“Maybe because I don’t want to be a pussy like him.” I said harshly before stomping up to my room.

She didn’t talk to me again that day.

❀ ❀ ❀

I didn’t go school the next day. Or the next. Or the next. Or the entire week. My attendance was terrible and the only reason I could graduate was because I had a deal with all my teachers that if I showed up for the tests and the tests only, then they would let it slide.

It’s not like they wanted me there when I was drunk.

Soon, it was Friday night. There was always a party Friday night. I pulled on my familiar red heels and black booty shorts with a black bralette I wore as a shirt. I threw a black blazer to not look as slutty; I had to have a little mystery to me.

Before I could leave, I felt my phone buzz. It was Hyunsuk. I picked it up to humor myself.

“What?”

“Hi to you too, sis.” I rolled my eyes as I sat on my bed.

“What do you want?” I snapped. I could almost see Hyunsuk roll his eyes at my tone.

“Jimin told me you haven’t been talking to her all week.” I laughed loudly, hoping it hurt his ears.

“Correction: I haven’t been at school all week.”

Hyunsuk sighed into the phone. “You could still text her and tell her you’re sorry-”

“Sorry? Sorry for what? What the hell did I do wrong?” I growled, trying to keep my temper under control.

It was Hyunsuk’s turn to laugh. “Are you serious? You’re so MIA all the damn time that you didn’t notice us all the time. You left Jimin in the dust so many times and she barely knows where you are or how you’re feeling 90% of the damn time.”

I felt my anger bubble inside of me, sitting at the bottom of my stomach waiting to be released.

“You’re not the only one with problems, y/n.” He snapped. I fiddled with my nails, wondering what to say. “Ok, so what? She slept with me? Ok, we’ve been seeing each other for 2 months. Forgive her already! You don’t have to forgive me but just talk to her!” He cried out. I wanted to feel guilt, I wanted to feel remorse, but I didn’t. My mind went through a whirlwind of emotions and memories with Jimin, but I didn’t know if our friendship was the same anymore.

“Is that all you had to say to me?” I heard nothing over the line and I thought he hung up.

“Fuck you.”

Then the line went dead.

I shook off the conversation by downing a tiny bit of Tequila I kept in my room. I then sprayed a good amount of hairspray in my hair and proceeded to jump out my window. It was on the first floor so that was easy.

I called an uber to pick me up and there I went. I hated high school parties, but college ones were the ones that intrigued me.

I stopped at the booming house hosted by a boy I had slept with last week. I didn’t remember his name and barely remember what he felt like, but that’s how I liked it.

I thanked my uber driver before getting out and fixed my clothes and hair before walking in. The sound of the party excited me as the noise filled my ears to the point I couldn’t think.

I stopped by the open bar first and saw one of the college boys making drinks. “Five shots.” He raised a brow.

“Of what?”

I shrugged. “Surprise me.” The boy smiled and I saw him get out his bottle of Vodka. “We have the most Vodka.” I nodded and downed them one by one as people cheered me on.

Now, I was officially drunk and ready to party. My thoughts were blurry but I could still function.

“Wanna dance?” I heard a boy ask. I looked up and he had nice eyes and hair. I nodded with a girly smile.

“Yes.” I think I said. He pulled me to the dance floor and immediately I felt his dick on my ass. I didn’t care though, I was drunk enough that I had no thoughts in my mind. I heard him groan as he kept on going.

“Wanna get out of here?” I nodded quickly.

Somehow, I was on a bed with the boy. We were kissing messily and rapidly taking our clothes off.

The whole thing was quite messy and fast. I barely remembered it as I stumbled off the bed and put my clothes back on. The boy was already asleep, the alcohol kicking into his system. I scoffed and checked the time.

Three am. I guess I should get back home. I walked out of the house and felt the cold air welcome me.

I looked around and started to walk throughout the neighborhood and pulled out my phone to call an uber. Before I could, I felt my phone buzz. I looked at the message.

“Jihoon?” I wondered out loud.

‘why are you drunk outside my window?’ I jumped back and looked around. I swore once I knew where I was.

Jihoon’s neighborhood. And my principal’s neighborhood. Awesome. I groaned and gripped my head. Suddenly, I heard a door open and someone ran to my side.

“Do you need to barf?” I shoved the boy away and looked at his worried, yet amused face. I punched him in the stomach.

“Fuck off, I’m not a barfer.” I heard him laugh.

“Well, that’s good. But now, get in the car, I’m going to drive you home.” I started to protest, but then I wondered why. I got in the car as he sighed.

We drove in silence until the chatterbox started to speak.

“So, party animal huh?” He started. I rolled my eyes. Everyone knows I party, everyone knows I smoke, everyone knows I drink, and everyone knows I’m a bitch.

“Yeah, surprising huh?” I said sarcastically. Usually, I didn’t try and humor people, but it came out naturally with Jihoon. And I hated that. The boy laughed.

“If my opinion matters, I think you should stop getting so drunk so much.” He stated.

“Well it doesn’t.” I spat.

He laughed and turned into my neighborhood.

“Do you and my brother still hate each other?” I saw his hand tighten around the wheel which I took for a silent ‘yes.’ I smirked in comfort. “Don’t worry, I hate him too.” I spilled.

Jihoon looked at me with wide eyes. I used to be Hyunsuk’s personal cheerleader until high school. Until Hyunsuk started to care more about other girl’s applause more than mine. I grew sick just thinking of him.

“Hey, can you pull over by this park? I need to sober up a bit.” He obliged and stopped.

“Your brother and I have been mortal enemies for as long as I remember. He was always just better than me at everything and that didn’t bother me, but he was always so smug about it. He had always dated the girls I liked and that ticked me off the most. Our personalities just clashed as well.” The boy shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal but I totally understood him. I’d been in Hyunsuk’s shadow since I was a kid.

Hyunsuk was a stellar student and just an all-round good guy; he was always doing community service and joining new school clubs. He was president for pete’s sake. He’s at one of the best universities in Korea and he barely had to try. Everything came easy for him.

“You shouldn’t hate your brother though. I mean, he’s still your brother.” Words like that sickened me.

“Just because he’s blood does that mean that makes up for all the shit he’s done to me?” Jihoon turned silent at my sudden outburst. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed for lashing out.

I sighed and tried to calm myself down. “Ever since I was young, Hyunsuk always got what he wanted and he didn’t even have to try. I was overworking myself 24 hours, 7 days a week just to get straight A’s on top of being in honor society and joining a sport I hated. I hated what he made my life but most importantly I hated what I was doing to my life.” I confessed. I shook my head and looked out the window.

Jihoon was silent, not knowing what to say.

“You used to be best friends though.” I laughed at that comment.

“Used to be, that’s important.” I spat. I suddenly felt the urge to tell him everything. “Hyunsuk has been sleeping with Jimin for two months.”

Jihoon choked on his spit.

“Wait, Jimin as in your best friend?” I sighed.

“Ex-best friend.” I said. Jihoon’s eyes widened.

“What? You’ve been so close for so long.” I shrugged, uncomfortable with the topic. “You’re really going to dump her because she slept with your brother?” He said accusingly. I whipped my head around to glare at him.

“Why does everything think I’m mad at her for that? Like I’m so fucking one-track minded that I would only be mad at her for that?” I spat, my emotions rushing to the surface. I held them down.

Jihoon shifted to face me in his chair.

“Then why are you mad at her?”

I paused, wondering if I should tell him or not.

“It’s just...” I sighed. “Like how I said, how to Hyunsuk, everything comes so easily to him? Everyone likes him. Girls tried to just be friends with me just to get to him and I let it happen because that’s the only way I would make friends.”

I clasped my hands together.

“And then I met her. She was just so fun to be around and I felt so relaxed with her. I asked her one day if she liked my brother, and she laughed and said no. I was really surprised since all girls at least felt the jitters around him, but she didn’t. She then told me that I was way cooler than him and more fun to be around. I told her that no one thinks that, but she told me that she would always stick with me and be on my side... and now she isn’t.”

I felt tears bubble to my eyes but I kept them steady.

“She was there when I walked drunk out of class and she didn’t even say anything. And that’s the thing! Once you do something so much, people stop caring! Like if you cry too much, people stop comforting you when you do. If you get mad enough, people will stop trying to calm you down. If you’re happy too much, people won’t think you’re ever sad.”

I shook my head in silent laughter and dismay.

“Basically, I drank too much, smoked too much, lashed out too much, had sex too much, basically every shitty thing a person could do, I did too much. And now everyone’s given up on me.”

I felt heavy as I whispered out those last words. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, but I refused to cry about this. I was better alone. I was more independent that way.

Suddenly, I felt Jihoon grab my hand softly.

“I promise you, I won’t ever give up on you.” He whispered softly.

His gaze was so intense I could barely take my eyes off of him. He was only holding my hand, but I wanted to be closer to him.

Snap out of it. I couldn’t get close to anyone. I always hurt them in the end.

I pushed him away and looked out the window.

“Take me home, please.”

❀ ❀ ❀

I slept like a baby that night. And somehow, I woke up without a hangover.

I checked my phone and saw that Jihoon texted me.

‘good morning :3′

I laughed at the emoji use.

‘youre such a fucking loser’

‘hey... : (’

I shook my head at my phone because of my silent laughter.

‘did you sleep ok?’ I felt my heart warm at his question.

‘slept like a baby. weird i was completely sober when i woke up tho’

‘... thats always a good thing’

I laughed at his careful words.

‘it’d be better if u were next to me tho :(’ I teased, wondering what his response would be. I bit my lip waiting for a response. I never felt nervous when I texted boys, but for some reason, I would feel empty if he never responded.

‘damn are we sexting at 3pm? hold on i need to look up sexy lines on the internet’ I laughed loudly and shook my head at his humor.

Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. I jumped, afraid someone would see me... happy.

“Just a minute!” I yelled. I threw on a t-shirt and shorts. “Ok, come in!” I yelped trying to calm my flush down.

I saw the familiar blonde boy walk in which made my mood fall.

“Um, were you just laughing right now?” He asked with a confused expression. I sighed.

“Why do you care, Hyunsuk?”

The boy shrugged. “I don’t know, because you never laugh.” He accused. I shrugged.

“I can laugh whenever I want to.”

I smiled at my own response. For some reason, Jihoon put me in a much better mood. My heart felt lighter and my head felt stable. It was probably because I told him so much last night and I was able to express my feelings openly.

Suddenly I felt a buzz in my hand. I looked down to read the text.

‘oh no did i scare you away? i swear i can get better at sexting’ I held in a laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” My good mood dissipated at his rough tone.

“Why are you in my room?” I spat back.

Hyunsuk rolled his eyes while leaning against my door. “Mom wants to talk to you about college.” His victorious smile made me want to beat the shit out of him. But I had a bit more self-control than that.

I brushed past him and saw my mom sitting there. I wish I had down that beer sitting in my room.

“Sit down.” She gestured to the chair across from her. I did as she said as she looked up at me when she was done with her food. “Your father and I have picked out a college for you to attend next year.” I shook my head.

“No, that can’t be. I didn’t apply to any colleges.” She gave me a soft smile.

“I applied for you. This university is in Singapore, it’s very good and I’ve already talked to the dean. He’s excited to have you in our school.”

My jaw dropped. “How did I even get in?! My grades are shit!” I felt my anger pick up and I resisted the urge to throw the glass of water only inches away from my fingers across the room.

She smiled at me. “I told them you were struggling with the divorce and resorting to bad things. They understood and are willing to comply.” I felt my throat close up. I had always been controlled by everyone. I had always been everyone’s spotlight my entire life. I was tired of not making my own decisions.

“No. I’m not going.”

“Y/n! You have no choice, honey.”

“Don’t call me that!” I snapped, banging my hand against a wall. I felt embarrassed as soon as I did it. How did I lose control of my body so quickly?

“You’re going and that’s final.” She said calmly.

I spun around and glared at her. “No, I’m not going, and that’s final.” I walked away quickly, bumping into my brother in the process.

“Y/n, please just be rational! This is a good experience!” I pushed him out of the way.

“Yeah, a good experience for you all to dump me in some other country so you can’t be bothered with me anymore!” I screamed. The two of them looked at each other, denying my accusation too late.

“Y/n, not everything is about you!” I shoved past him. He was right. Nothing is about me. Nothing is ever about me.

I’ve always been in my brother’s shadow, my parent’s shadow, even my best friend’s shadow. I was done with all of that.

I grabbed my keys and left the house.

❀ ❀ ❀

I don’t know how I ended up here.

I stared longingly at Jihoon’s house, wondering if I would ever force myself to go inside. Or text him. Or do anything really.

I felt awkward fishing out my phone. Never had I ever run to someone for comfort. Not Hyunsuk, not even Jimin.

Then, I realized my principal would be in there. “Shit, I can’t do this.” I whispered to myself.

I was about to leave until I heard my phone vibrate against the chair.

‘why are you outside of my house?’

I felt my body turn cold at the statement.

‘just driving by.’ I lied.

‘ok well do you wanna come in?’

I bit my lip. ‘is that an invitation for something’ I teased.

‘maybe’

I felt my heart beat quicker at his response.

‘no offense im not going to have sex in somewhere Mrs. Park sleeps’

‘ok then we can do it in your car’

I burst out laughing at his response.

‘my mom is on a business trip tho’ he answered.

I knew what that meant.

And I liked what it meant. I parked down the street and bit more and was greeted by him at the front door.

“Hey, beautiful.” I cringed even though I liked it when he called me beautiful.

“Don’t call me that.”

Jihoon laughed. “Ok, ok.” I shook my head. “So something bad must’ve happened because I know you didn’t just come in here ‘cause of a booty call.”

“My mom wants to ship me off to Singapore. My brother agrees with her. They are just trying to get rid of me so they don’t have to deal with whatever teenage angst that’s happening so I feel sort of like shit and I hate everyone and I don’t want to talk to Jimin because I know Hyunsuk would’ve told her about this and how could she let me go to Singapore.”

I blurt out. Jihoon stood there, absorbing all the information.

“Shit, I’m sorry, y/n. But why don’t you want to go to Singapore?”

I shrugged. “I don’t want to go to college. I don’t want to leave...”

you.

It was a stupid thought. Jihoon and I weren’t even together. I didn’t even know if we were friends.

But you like him.

That was an even stupider thought. I always looked down on people who followed where their significant other went, but sometimes following who you love is just as important as following what you love.

But I don’t love Jihoon. That would be too much.

Jihoon sighed and pulled me into a strong embrace. I felt awkward when he sniffed me.

“Woah, no alcohol.” He stated with surprise. I felt embarrassed immediately at the amount of shock in his expression.

“Fuck off, I can be sober sometimes.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t know, I feel like I’ve only seen you with you’re drunk.”

That’s a lie. I was sober when I talked to him at the convenience store. I was mostly sober when I talked to him after the party.

I was completely sober now.

He pulled back of the embrace and gave me a small smile.

Suddenly, I pulled him down to kiss me.

“Wait, your brother is gonna kill me.” I paused for a moment thinking about what Hyunsuk would do if I got with his worst enemy.

You’ll finally get your revenge.

A small whisper at the back of my mind said.

Shut up, we both know you like the guy. Stop pretending that youre using him-

I shook away the second thought.

“Let’s not think about that.”

I tugged on his belt to get him closer to me. He was surprised but responded quickly. His kiss was strong, contrary to his delicate features. My knees turned weak as he deepened the kiss and pulled me close to him. I couldn’t think as he wrapped my legs around him and made his way to, I expected, his bedroom.

My heart pounded in anticipation, but I felt a sliver of nervousness. I hadn’t slept with someone sober... ever. Or kissed anyone sober. Or anything sober in a while.

He slammed the door shut and kissed me again. I ran my fingers through his hair wildly as he groaned in response.

“Are you sure about this?” He whispered carefully to not ruin the mood.

“Yes.”

❀ ❀ ❀

I woke up in someone else’s bed.

And the amazing thing was that I remembered who.

I looked to my left and saw the boy sleeping soundly.

I went to check the time and saw it was only 2am. I then saw a text from Hyunsuk coming through.

‘where tf r you??

‘get your ass home right now’

‘y/n im not playing. this isnt a joke get home right now’

‘are you serious?’

‘im going to call the cops. idc that youre 18′

‘ok nevermind that’s too much but seriously y/n come home right now or else i’m finding you myself’

‘you know ive been hearing rumors about u and jihoon.. istg if theyre true im going to be pissed’

‘not only cuz hes my worst enemy and i know ur only doing this to get revenge on me but i heard jihoon is head over heels for this girl hes been hanging with. heard him say he loves her and wants to be with her. can u really handle all that?’

My phone felt as hot as fire at that statement.

He can’t like me. He can’t love me. He can’t. He’s too nice to be hurt by me.

I looked over to the peaceful looking boy and made my decision. I got out of bed and pulled on my clothes with my heart beating rapidly. I heard him sniffle and yawn.

“What time is it?” He mumbled into his pillow. I hid my tears as I grabbed my phone.

“Are you in love with me?” I asked abruptly.

I was expecting him to be surprised and deny it, but the boy only smiled at me.

“y/n, I think I’ve been a little bit in love with you since the day we met.”

His words sent instant guilt to my heart. I hardened my expression and wiped away the fear that threatened to spill across my face.

“Jihoon, sorry to break it to you, but I only slept with you to get back at my brother. I didn’t mean for it go to this far.” I said harshly. The bleary eyed boy was suddenly wide awake.

“What? What did you say?”

“I said, I don’t like you Jihoon. It’s been fun while it lasted but I don’t feel anything for you.” I lied. I felt tears burn my eyes but I refused to blow my cover.

I couldn’t be with Jihoon.

He couldn’t love me.

He couldn’t.

He shouldn’t.

“Bullshit! You like me, I know you do!” He pulled on his clothes and walked in front of me.

“Just stop it! Why do you think I went to the convenient store that you went to? Why do you think I stumbled into the office when you were in there? Why do you think I do all these things Jihoon?!” I shouted. I saw tears flow from his eyes and I desperately wanted to wipe them.

No, he would be better off without me.

“You’re lying.” He spat harshly.

I said nothing and walked out. “Don’t call me.” I said before walking out the door. I ran into my car and left in a hurry.

I felt tears fall onto my lap as I drove home. I sat in my driveway, heaving as I saw my front door that carried so many bad memories. I wanted to run away from here. I couldn’t see Jihoon again. Maybe Singapore wasn’t looking so bad.

I hurt everyone I got close to anyways.

My parents, Hyunsuk, Jimin, and now Jihoon. I spent my whole life being mad at people when really I should’ve been mad at myself this whole time. I was wrong, so wrong.

I got out of my car and stumbled inside.

I saw Hyunsuk sitting on the couch. He shot up when he saw me.

“Y/n, finally-” I held my hand up and as he came closer to me, he saw the tears in my eyes. I hadn’t cried in front of him for years.

“Just leave it.”

❀ ❀ ❀

My life started to go back to what it used to be.

Or sort of.

I forgave Hyunsuk and Jimin, and apologized for being so mad about it. Even though I hung out with them, it didn’t feel the same anymore. Spending time with Jihoon made me realize that I had nothing in common with Jimin. Yes, we were nice to each other, but there was no connection. We were only friends because we had been friends for so long.

I sat in my bed, typing out a report for English. It was time to actually participate in school.

Then, I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in!” I shouted. Hyunsuk popped his head in and gave me a sheepish smile.

“Hey, can we talk?” I nodded and bit on a potato chip. “Sure, what’s up?” I questioned.

The boy looked nervous, rubbing his hands back and forth. “So... I just wanted to apologize.” I raised a brow.

“Hyunsuk, we already got our apologies out of the way.” He shook his head.

“No we didn’t... that night, when you ran off after hearing about Singapore. I told you that I overheard some guys saying Jihoon loved you.” I flinched noticeably at the name.

“I only did that to make you come home. I knew it would hurt you too much to be with him if you knew that. I don’t know what your relationship was but I could bet all my money you didn’t want to hurt him.”

I took a deep breath.

“You were right Hyunsuk, I would’ve hurt him more if I stayed with him. I’m over it.” I lied. There wasn’t one day that I didn’t think about Jihoon. But I knew he deserved better than me. Way, way better.

“Ok well, he’s here so you should go talk to him.” I choked on the chips I was eating.

“Wait, what?”

Before I could jump out the window, I saw Jihoon standing there in his blue jacket and blue jeans. His hands were in his pockets and his black hair was messily styled. He had a shy smile on his face, but his eyes were intense and glowing. He looks so cute.

My cheeks turned red at the sudden accompaniment and I threw on a sweater. “Hyunsuk, what did you-”

“I’m making things right y/n... I’m sorry it took so long.” He gave Jihoon a hard stare before he shut the door.

I felt uncomfortable immediately. He took a few steps towards me and I tossed my laptop off of me.

“Jihoon, I don’t know what Hyunsuk told you but-” Jihoon held his hands up to stop my rambling and I instinctively quieted down.

He took a deep breath and started to speak. “Y/n, I like you... I really really like you. Like a lot. And I don’t know why you can’t see how much I like you and what I like about you. You’re the strongest and funniest girl I know.”

He took a few steps closer to me making my heart beat rapidly.

“You’re a terrible liar, why would you run out on me that day?” As he finally sat on the spot next to me, I let out a few tears. I was so terrible to him, yet here he was, confessing to me.

“I don’t deserve someone as good as you.” I choked out.

Instead of being upset, he just smiled.

“Funny, that’s exactly how I feel about you.”

#yg treasure box #ygtb #ygtb scenarios #park jihoon #jihoon scenarios #magnum #magnum scenarios #idk if that is their confirmed name but yeet #yg treasure box imagines #treasure scenarios #treasure #treasure imagines

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kadyshackkk-blog · 6 years

Text

Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it.

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least.

#mtv the challenge #final reckoning

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artcanary · 6 years

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1-50

oh my god dude

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him.

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P:

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though.

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left.

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design.

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic.

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that.

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns …

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly.

I’m very proud of Bronze.

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha!

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though.

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too.

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared.

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.)

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake.

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it!

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often.

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper????

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows.

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too.

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at.

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets;

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality.

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated.

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that.

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit.

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable.

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard.

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ??

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia.

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws / @owoltron:

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.)

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might.

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses.

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m.

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances.

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.)

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall:

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman

#yetanotherOCmeme #WHY #personal

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cryingbilldenbrough · 6 years

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hi i want to request some ryers from you. idc what it is, i just want to read something about that beautiful ship written by you. literally. you can write about anything you want. please and thank you. (i deserve this for the number of times you’ve made me cry thanks)

ok so just remember that u asked for this

i feel like a lot of ryers stuff has the idea that richie moves to hawkins so let’s switch that

will byers moves across the country to derry, maine and the fresh start isn’t quite what he thought it would be

johnathan isn’t with them, having graduated high school and gone off to college

joyce rents a two bedroom house and there’s no Johnathan’s Room anymore, no place for will to go and lay on the floor and turn on the boombox and let The Shins drown out the biting wind in his ears

it’s two stories, with stairs that creak under his feet and the basement isn’t like theirs was back home, solely for storm shelter. there’s shelves all along the walls for canning and storage and will spends a whole day down there exploring

anyway he rolls up to derry high school on the first day of sophomore year, his mom sitting in their idling car near the buses, and shoulders his backpack

he keeps his head up

because this is the first time he’s been able to restart and no one in derry knows, man. he’s got the chance to reinvent himself which is every teenagers dream!!

he slides into his first period homeroom class and there’s a kid in the back who looks as apprehensive as will feels and the boy introduces himself as ben hanscom after class, offering to show will around

“ive been the new kid before” he says, warm and with a smile and will gets a big lump in his throat because he misses dustin SO BAD

ben hanscom invites him to sit with his friends at lunch and will stands through the lunchline for what feels like forever, anxiety swimming in his stomach

but the Party (not a party, will, they’re not the same try not to think of that) is so welcoming and kind?

eddie kaspbrak is a small boy who pauses mid-rant about the disgusting boys bathroom on the third floor to offer his hand out for will to shake

beverly marsh has max’s firey hair and el’s powerful nature and she winks at will and says something about his haircut and will blushes and ducks his head because while he’s not really interested in women, beverly marsh is everyone’s weak spot/exception

stan uris is quiet and will almost glosses right over him until stan says something wry out of the corner out of his mouth, stopping the entire group in their laughing and joking and they’re deathly still until stan’s facade cracks and he grins at them, all dimples

will notices the air of tension during the pause wasn’t apprehension, more like the group was simply Waiting for stan to give in and accept that he’s told a joke

mike hanlon is quiet with an air of serious consideration, like he’s cataloging everything they do and say to save for later

he looks a little haunted, a little fucked up, and will thinks he recognizes the dead look in the boy’s eyes

mike reminds will of sheriff hopper, kind and haunted and sad

bill denbrough is will’s favorite right away. his eyes are alight and he smiles out of the side of his mouth, guarded, and he makes will feel kind of like the only person in the world when he talks to him

he compliments will’s notebook which is covered in little doodles and will has a weird moment when he’s like Wow i would do anything for bill denbrough? whom i have just met?

basically bill denbrough has +20 charisma and will saves that thought in his back pocket to revisit later

and finally

there’s richie

richie laughs while eating and sprays milk all over the table and has coke bottle glasses and a dumb goofy grin

he ruffles will’s hair when bev compliments it, sticking his hand across the table and rubbing down just a little too hard

will slaps his hand away, so used to johnathan doing it, and richie laughs and laughs

stan explains richie to him while the other boy is turning his attention to eddie kaspbrak who swears at him, saying “whenever richie needs to shut up, we just say beep beep richie and that does the trick”

will doesn’t get the chance to try out the trick until lunch is almost over, warning bell ringing and everyone scrambling to wrap up the rest of their lunches for later or to throw away

and as will stands up, a book falls out of his backpack

it’s a Dungeons and Dragons guide, the one mike used to map out their campaign

(”take this with you,” mike says, thrusting the book into will’s hands. they’re standing in the bare byers living room, hands stuffed in pockets and surrounded by cardboard boxes.

“no, you need it,” will argues “you gotta finish the campaign” and man this hurts really fucking bad

“i bought a new one,” mike says quickly, making will take the book and wrap his fingers around it “besides, we all signed this one”

will opens the front cover and there’s writing all along the inside, little notes and drawings from the Party to him

will holds it to his chest and then brings mike into a hug, the last one before he leaves hawkins for probably forever)

“what’s this?” richie says, holding it out and will tries to snatch it back but richie’s fast “this is some next level nerd shit” he says

and will knows he’s kidding but years of being called freak dont do well for self esteem and will is blinking back tears before he can stop himself

“beep beep richie” he says in a choked voice and nobody else but them is paying attention which will is thankful for because crying in front of his new friends is NOT COOL

and as soon as he says it, richie’s fingers go lax. he gives the book back without a second more of fight and will blinks and tries to calm down and richie’s just looking at him

“it’s from my friends” will explains and richie nods, little and thoughtful. there’s a beat, a moment of peace and silence, and then richie’s throwing his arm over will’s shoulders

“welcome to the losers club,” he says, warm and understanding

and will byers has a new party, a club full of laughter and love and a power he doesn’t yet understand

for the first time in a long time, will belongs again

but this is derry and in derry the dead don’t stay dead and that includes dead pasts

will opens his locker one day and a balloon floats out

it’s red, almost transparent from how overblown it is, and it drifts at exactly his height out into the hallway

will reaches a hand out, to touch and figure out who the fuck put that in his locker and what the fuck it is

and the balloon spins

ZOMBIE BOY it says in happy white letters

and will blinks and he’s in the Upside Down

it’s not real it cant be real but the cold is biting and the wind is chilling him to the bone and derry is covered in vines but it’s different this time? theres a smell of decay in the air that hawkins didnt have, the scent of actual real death and it smells like brick and concrete and a sewer and the bodies of hundreds of dead kids

will’s hyperventilating, crying and stuck frozen and the balloon is still there and it drifts towards him and it’s getting closer and the demogorgon isnt there but there’s something else, a presence of evil he can FEEL and it sounds like dripping water and fingernails on steel and breaking bones and wheezing breath

there’s lights in the distance, three of them swirling together in a drifting dance

just when will thinks it’s real, just when he’s giving into the swirling lights and blowing wind and the shiny red balloon

the balloon pops

the sound is a gunshot, shocking him out of the trance and will blinks and he’s back

he’s in the hallway and the balloon is gone and the Upside Down is gone and richie tozier is there

he’s got his hand outstretched towards will and he’s saying something that will cant hear over the rushing wind in his ears

“are you okay?” he thinks he sees richie mouth and he forces himself to nod

later, after he’s explained it all, richie tells will he found him staring at the wall, catatonic and crying

will wants to be embarrassed but he’s only grateful for richie for bringing him back

“it was a balloon?” richie says, voice hushed. they’re in the boys bathroom, crowded together in the furthest stall while they skip class

richie had stuck his sneakered foot on the toilet and hoisted himself up to open the window

he pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and offers one to will, which he declines, before lighting up and taking a drag

“yeah” will responds

“fuck” he breathes out, smoke leaving his lungs and it smells strong enough that it erases the scent of this new Upside Down from will’s nostrils, replacing it with menthol and richie

“did you see…. a clown….” richie says and will wants to laugh but he looks serious

not just serious

richie looks downright scared

he’s shaking a little, the cherry of his smoke bobbing in the air and will knows that kind of fear, the primal urge to fight or flight and richie looks kind of tired and weary too

“no” will says and richie sighs, relieved

he doesnt want to tell richie he saw the past and the future at the same time, an alternate and adjacent universe far beyond anything either of them could comprehend

richie takes another drag off his cigarette and sets his jaw and will thinks he’s making a decision

“meet us at the clubhouse after school” he throws the cig out the open window and leaves will, the bell ringing in the distance

when will shows up in the barrens, backpack over his shoulders, they’re waiting for him

the clubhouse is hidden and will has been to it a few times and still sometimes has trouble picking it out, camoflauged with brush and leaves

he drops down into the ground and the whole Club is there

he draws his knees up to his chest as richie tells them all of how he found will, explaining the dead look in his eyes

(”they almost looked…. grey” he says and all the blood drains out of bill’s face in the light of a few candles)

richie hands it over to will to explain what he saw and will struggles through his explanation, trying not to let onto the fact that he’s some freak with Now Memories and a haunted fucked up past

but the Club doesn’t look… surprised? scared?

they look frightened and tired and weary and sympathetic

stan uris has his knees drawn to his chest and is running his fingers over the sides of his face, over faint scars will never noticed before

“sounds like…” eddie trails off

“i k-know what it s-s-sounds like,” bill says

“sounds like what?” will asks and hes kind of pissed off because they all look shifty

they’re hiding something, some secret related to balloons and death and fucking clowns and will byers is so FUCKING SICK of being out of the loop

of being left out of the plans because he’s weak and people are afraid of him getting hurt

“sounds like what?” he repeats and the group collectively flinches

“look, we don’t know exactly” ben starts

“it’s hard to pinpoint exact memories,” bev finishes for him and they share a look “we can’t keep track of all of it,”

“they c-c-come and go” bill says and eddie nods and richie looks sick and angry

“what happened here?” will asks, voice low

the group look at each other, the lucky seven sharing their cosmic energy and deciding to pull another into their chess game with death

they make a decision, an election, to tell the story, the history of their haunted town and the fog that covers it, the story of a manifestation of Evil and their ever-tiring fight against It

will feels richie’s hand slip into his, sweaty and shaking but grounding

he turns to look at richie and the boy is smiling at him, soft and guarded and will thinks he’s very lucky to have met this group, haunted pasts be damned

“derry,” mike hanlon starts, licking his lips, “is not like other towns”

send me headcanons/prompts/requests!

#ryers #richie tozier #will byers #stranger things #it #it headcanons #stranger thing headcanons #this isnt suuuuper ryers but its a start u know?#my writing

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

Text

last night I dreamed that I was an archeologist tortoise and I was looking at dozens of “human” skeletons in Buckingham palace that was also my backyard. the skeletons all looked like combo human and turtle because the whole torso looked basically like the first google image result for sea turtle skeleton. then my sister woke me up, giving me a comforter and telling me my mom need help with some things. cleaned up around the living room and did some laundry and boiled some eggs and made meatloaf and swept the floor. the meatloaf turned out surprisingly good, idk what I did differently. I evemtually went back to my room and tried to remember what I wanted to do today. last night as I was falling asleep I told myself that I was gonna clear off my desk so I could finally use it, so I moved some stuff around and set up my laptop. I havent been able to sit at a real actual desk in SO LONG and its SO NICE to have just like a space where I can sit down and work and have a chair that will support my back instead of sitting cross legged on my bed or laying down while doing stuff on my laptop. it almost makes me feel productive even I'm just playing the sims. I feel especially cool when im just typing out whatever bullshit because it makes me feel like im at an office job typing up ~important documents~ :) idk man I think quarantine has changed me lmao. if im getting this many emotions from just being able to sit down at a desk and do ANYTHING idk how im gonna handle collage. I keep calling whetever im doing (playing the sims, scrolling through Tumblr, typing up this summary of the day) work because it just. feels nice sitting at a desk and typing. even if it’s dumb bullshit!! idk how to describe it I just feel amazing. it makes me feel like im writing a paper with all the horrible parts like research and thinking. the sound of typing on my MacBook makes me feel like im in school again, but without the horrible stressful parts. idk mn I know I've been going on about this desk and stuff for too long and im gonna hate it if I eventually read back through these daily logs but I just feel so nice. ill change topics anyway. I hung up my calendar again! I literally didn't have any open wall space aside from maybe the wall behind my bed but why the hell would I put a calendar where I can't see it. instead its kind of hanging above my closet. I pinned it to the wooden board in the “doorway” (idk what other word to use) where there would normally be sliding doors that open and shut if they hadn't been taken off YEARS ago. I also played a lot of the sims 4, juggling aspirations for 5 sims. I quit because I got frustrated that all my sims are dumb and the ai Is buggy and doesn't let me do what I want them to do. I also plopped in a house on my family’s old lot and spent some time adjusting the colors and the trees and adding those paper craft cieling things that can either have stars or leaves or snowflakes that came in the free winter holiday stuff pack and holy shit as soon as I found those I think they became my new favorite decoration item. I threw them everywhere but eventually took down most of them, leaving some leaf ones in the bedroom. I was gonna move in a family of a bunch of young adults and children to help with the first kid’s serial romantic aspiration and one of the twin’s social butterfly aspiration, but I ended up not doing that in favor of just decorating more and playing with the family some more. one thing I realized while playing is that there are fucking MICE in my CIELING. well not really in the cieling, in the attic, but I can hear them chewing on shit and its sucks. I would turn on a fan to drown out the noise but my room is fucking FREEZING. I threw the blanket back over my window hoping that it would keep heat from escaping but I don't think that really did anything. so after freezing my ass off I got fed up and put on fluffy socks under normal socks, wore my owl onesie as pants over my shorts, put on my comfy (oversized hoodie), and threw a fluffy blanket over my shoulders. thankfully I was pretty cozy after that, but as I type this after taking off the cosy and blanket, I can feel my toes getting cold again. damnit. ANYWAY after quitting the sims for the night I ate some salad and got a heart shaped crouton :) and I scrolled through Tumblr for a bit. then I decided to finally work on the paws my friend wanted. but I couldn't find the pattern so I instead worked on the brown paws instead. I could only work on them so much, since I still have to finish the lining before I can do much else. I attached the backs of the fingers to the back of the hand. I didnt get much down but what matters is that I did SOMETHING. I'm gonna keep an eye out for that pattern that I need, and if I cant find it, I'll just make a new pattern. tbh I think thad’s be the better way to go anyway since I wouldn't have to figure out how the fuck the old one goes together and I can also have a pattern that perfectly fits the foam underneath. also tbh i have mixed feeling about the white paws my friend wants. I like how dextrous they are and how easily you can emote and move your fingers, but I dont like how ovular I made the paw pads and the hints of black thread peaking out where I sewed the pads from the back. I WOULD just remake them with the free curl works pattern im using for the brown paws but I figure I might as well finish this pair since there’s already one done and the foam interior is already made. whatever. I dont wanna think about it too much. I also dont like the head that goes with the paws, it was a fish job in comparison to my first head and I kinda hate it. but I think I'll eventually get some longer fur for the neck and a hair poof and cheeks (maybe) and do a little refurbishing and give it to my friend if she ever wants it, since it matches the paws and all. I have lots of plans for my 2 WIP heads but not all the materials/motivation. plus I just need to let the ideas stir before I do unything, making sure they’re goof before I act on them. I'm exited that I can shave down fur relativey easily and evenly without an electric dog shaver, which opens up a lot of opportunities. anyway as I was working on the brown paws I had TAZ on in the background and it still baffles me a little bit how different griffin and Matt mercer operate as dms like holy shit. its really funny. and it got me thinking about how I wouldn't mind dming for my friend group if he chance ever arose. I DO have the forgotten realms campaign setting book. I haven't actually looked at it but I assume it has a few pre-built quests and plot lines n stuff in it. I'll probably take a better look at in the morning when it’s not 1:40 am. dang now I'm thinking about my Minecraft dnd idea again. I think the real problem keeping me from being a dm is that I CANNOT keep a straight face when doing improv/roleplaying, so I dont know how well I could hold together a world for them to play in. I would love to give it a try tho. not with the Minecraft idea at the same time, fuck no. I would need to do like. a classic vanilla dnd experience the first time, maybe even using our tiefling family characters since I'm at least a little familiar with them. can you dm and also play your own character? is that fair? is that a think you can do? I think that could be fun but also hard to juggle and also maybe kinda suck because you’d already know all the answers to all the puzzles. meh. actually now I kind of really want to look through thet book tonight instead of in the morning. also I mentioned overnight oats a few days ago I think, and the first morning it was kinda gross, the second time I ate it was still a little gross texture wise, but I finished it off tonight and it was pretty good. maybe next time I'll try it without the banana and a little less milk and maybe slice up an apple into little cubes for texture. hell yeah peanut butter apple cinnamon brown sugar overnight oats. that sound pretty dang good actually. I'll try that some time, but I dont think I can right now because I dont think we have any apples in the house. phooey. I should also probably put this oatmeal cp in the sink before it becomes impossible to clean. holy shit how long have I been writing? SEE THE DESK MAKES ME JUST WANNA KEEP WRITING AND WRITING FOREVER I FEEL SO PRODUCTIVE EVEN IF IM NOT DOING ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE!! I love just typing and typing forever its so soothing just hearing the tapping of the keyboard and getting my thought out without actually having to think that hard about it. goddamn im never gonna read back through this this is a nightmare lmao. no paragraph breaks no capitalization no nothin. I dont even wanna stop typing even though my arm is starting to hurt a little but from leaning the edge of the desk. now im thinking about the movie soul again and the cat as it rides on the escalator to the great beyond and how that dude in the band was the main characters student and how that scene with the girl trying to quit music and then immediately changed her mind didnt make any sense. like what the hell I dont understand that scene at all. also thinking about the transition where he’s like “ok repeat after me” as he’s in the cat and the camera goes over the mom’s shoulder and it’s just him talking, I like how they did that instead of doing dialouge between him and the cat. idk man. I think maybe I should stop typing now since my body is starting to hurt. sorry for putting this H U G E wall of text on your dash but I just like typing out my thoughts :) goodnight!

edit: OH I forgot to talk about something else!! last night I was thinking about valentines day and how cute it would be to have a little overall dress in the pattern on one of my childhood blankets, its like a light pink with white hearts on it so I looked up some fabrics and none of them were the right pattern. I also looked up a sewing pattern that I think would look nice and its on sale right now! I totally want to try and make it, but fabric is expensive so I think I might look at dollar tree for fleece baby blankets because I know they have them there, I bought a few a while ago for some plush sewing projects. they’re decently sized so I think I could do it.idk how many I would need to buy tho. or I might go to goodwill and look for a pink sheet? I have a thin pink blanket that could theoretically work but I want to use a planet im not attached to. or even just find a few big shirts in the same shade of pink? then I could maybe line it with something. I have red purple and white satin but that’s literally the worst fuckin fabric in the world to work with. my first experience with sewing was trying to make plushies out of satin and holy hell idk how I did it. anyway even though I literally never wear dresses I think it would be a fun project to try and make myself a cute little valentines dress. :) I could even give myself POCKETS >:)))

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #long post #I think maybe I should tag my daily shit with something like 2021 journal? idk im lazy so we'll see #January 2021 daily #2021 daily

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 6 | “His best Amanda Kimmel "Go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation” - Liam

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ryrU-tXQbMyAa2Sl_GFiJb61i6qUNY-x/view?usp=sharing

aj went home??!?!?! hello!? JAKE SURVIVED SO THERE IS A GOD

Who feels like shit? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And now I remember why I feuded with Jakey... he literally did what ever he wanted. Which is very inconvenient for the rest of us. I know he put my name down. Granted 3 minutes ago I was sure it was Dan but after briefly snapping at him I put it together. Dan, 7:21 PM Seriously I’m not mad about it ahha I can see how my words were taken. And then I definitely said this afternoon we hadn’t talked and that was why I thought you would be the vote on my end Yeah you were a target before AJ started throwing my name out. I own up to that 100% So now it's time to play voting detective... yaayyyyyyyyyyyy (em llik) This entire vote started off with Jakey and Dan. Dan claims that he didn't bring my name up, but it would be an ass pull for Jakey to come to me with Dan wanting me dead immediately after the immunity challenge and then suddenly manifest it. Jakey immediately comes to me and I immediately come to the Dumb Betches (tm). I want Dan out but it's just not realistic as the other side isn't as comfortable playing with a pure beauty team. Next day we form the Thots R Us alliance and Jakey and Scott plead their case for AJ to leave and we, like idiots, go for it. Dan continues to campaign for me. Devon gets into the mix at some point and tells Dan that AJ is voting for him. Dan changes his vote. Now according to Augusto around this point, Jakey mentioned the possibility of having an extra vote before completely shutting it down. Claiming it to be "unnecessary". I think this sparked the idea to tell AJ about the vote under the guise of "golly gee I don't wanna vote for Dan because honor and stuff so I'm voting for you". I assume it's around then he wrote my name down. Like a bitch. Sorry I'm trying to be less hateful and aggressive but man it's harrdddddddd. My guess is that he wanted a beauty out no matter what and figured he'd have better luck convincing the others to vote for me in a situation where an idol is played. He probably also wanted me and Dan to turn further against each other. Unfortunately for him, I spent all of my impulse control that day on not chewing Dan's head off and I snapped immediately afterwords and so some things were cleared up. It has to be Jakey not just because of all the things lining up and not just because it is in his character but I genuinely can't imagine anyone else doing so. - AJ and Amir are loyal hoes. Plus if one of them did something that absurd, it wouldn't exactly benefit them. It puts strain between our relationships with the other players and honestly I don't know why they'd waste a vote on me when if an idol is played they risk losing a beauty majority. - Devon doesn't seem like he would make any waves and seems to have taken a liking to me. Granted I'm less sure about him then the others but he did put most of the work in convincing Dan not to put my name down. Plus he doesn't seem to have anticipated AJ having an idol. - Scott, to do something like this would have been risky. I'm his primary connection to the beauty alliance, if AJ were to play an idol he would have risked losing an asset. - I truly think Dan isn't lying to me because he genuinely believed if he didn't vote for AJ he'd be fucked. He wasn't comfortable with where the votes lied, to throw a vote towards me would have been pretty dumb and insanely reckless. Jakey is the only person I can think of who would go out so out of his way for something like this. Chaos is more or less his calling card. Plus it would be in his best interest to keep around someone in his majority alliance and get rid of a beauty. And he probably thought that I was a better option considering past history or whatever. :/ So now we have to sacrifice Jakey to the survivor gods not because he wrote my name down but because I can't trust him to keep his shit together and vote with us. We were going to target Dan next and he probably won't be chill with that. He probably would prefer to aim for Devon or One of the beauties. And that well, wouldn't be in my best interest either. In the mean time, I'm just going to sit still and look pretty.

Ok, I need to make a quick apology. Talking to Autumn and Duncan has been the highlight of my game thus far. Autumn went to the same undergrad as me and Duncan is one of the most genuine guys I've ever met. I feel terrible for ever being doubtful of being on the same tribe as them. Because now I really think I have two more people that I feel I can trust and move with further, which (in the words of the perfect Mrs. Kim Spradlin) means I have options, and I think this can guarantee a spot for me at merge and a really good group to make some moves with that isn't as obvious to people. If we were to go to tribal, I think my target would be Connor which should be an easy vote given his general lack of activity on the tribe thus far, but I'm also not against the prospect of blindsiding Ali as I think there's a chance he has that Apis idol and I'm certain he has a few tricks up his sleeves.

okay soooo i have two LONG video confessionals uploading from the last two days but wow stuff is happening... so first off, the nuThoth tribe voted off... AJ?! which is so unexpected, that shakes up the game completely, like now it means the game is changed... it means the brawn four on this tribe sticking together is a really bad idea, and it just... everything has changed. i'm so so glad jake has survived, which keeps one good ally in on nuThoth. I'm still scared of Augusto/Amir/Kendall/Scott, but hopefully one will go if they go to tribal again? idek but yeah a lot of this will be repeated in my video, but god is a woman. and her name is autumn, i called with autumn for TWO HOURS yesterday and it was a transcendent experience, i literally love her so much. and it was such a good conversation, like i 100% overshared but it was great to kinda link up... i talked to her about adam (more on him later), she filled me in on the brain hot goss and she is of course someone i want to stick with. on this tribe, the two i feel best about are tj and autumn - tj i was SO mean to at the start but i actually get really good energy from him now? i really want to solidify something with him, i definitely want to stick wit him. jordan i think trusts me a lot but for some reason i continue to have anxiety about him (but he is a good shield in a merge situation). i for some reason get really good vibes from connor? i think i would love to talk to him more (will pm him today) - i think connor gives off good vibes and particularly since adam's conspiracy of a beauty illuminati is over i think i could trust him a lot? we haven't spoken much but he has really good ally potential imo. adam is a tricky one. for some reason i do NOT trust him. he is in EVERYONES pms peddling this same narrative and is just doing a lot? i think he is a real slippery player, and i feel like he is a fish who if we release into the ocean of a merge tribe we will never get back? i have such anxiety about him making it far so i'd love for him to go as soon as possible. its tough tho because now that a beauty majority voted off a beauty, i feel like the brawn four on this tribe need to do similar? so maybe i need to vote off liam? its just annoying because i trust liam, and i'd LOVE to get adam out but i dont see the numbers to pull that off. so i feel like we have to vote liam to give ourselves wiggle room as brawn players, but from there idk... because i want adam GONE grrrrrrrrrr its frustrating. hopefully we win this challenge, and the other tribe has another chance to get rid of someone... like the less decisions i have to make the better at this point i take it back jordan is so sweet, he is like a teddy bear... its just whether he is a care bear or lotso from toy story

i cant remember what my last confessional said so im just gonna start with last tribal: aj got voted out ........ of all the false beautys it had to be him the ONE who actually was nice to me and was the whistleblower on that main alliance? when i said it'd ironically beautiful to me to see one of the beautys voted out he was NOT any of the ones i was talking about then we get our next immunity and oh would you look at that... THREE people have to sit out meaning there's gonna surely be another chat with 5 people in it to say lets vote adam out AGAIN.......as soon as i saw this challenge my ptsd immediately was triggered and i was trying SO hard to sound like i wanted to be in one of the things even if i wouldnt have been good at it just so i could rest easy but it didnt really work out, in fact the highlight of the challenge was actually me and duncan and our contribution of sitting on the sidelines looking pretty while they all flopped but bless their hearts at least they tried, so now we're going back to tribal, and again i didnt compete in immunity which apparenly is cause for a target now so ... im HOPING that doesnt happen again, and if it does then i probably deserve to go home! i was kinda just.... not in the mood to talk to anyone much of yesterday or even today just because um.... i didnt want to dfakdfs mostly due to that dumb bitch DeDe Pressión just making me wanna do nothing but lay in bed and torture myself by watching more real survivor but i woke up today in a better mood, the moods they come and they go, much like me i love being elusive so hopefully people just dont think im like such dumb bitch who doesnt wanna talk or whatever, because believe it or not the gorls can be so hateful over you not being able to recite their whole life story back to them at the final triabl! they ripped me to shred my first season because i couldnt tell them so and so had a purple sheep back on the farm in late october 2007 like gorl plea .... so yeah ive been trying to talk to more people today to compensate, not sure where it will go, it did reassure me a bit that liam messaged me like RIGHT after the challenge and began already saying stuff about connor like ooh gorl michael_jackson_i_love_this_song.gif, but i just need to be careful because i dont want to seem like im the one controlling the vote, because odds are im gonna get made to look a fool and ill go home, or be left in the dark, but im gonna try to have slightly more faith in these people and hope they're buying what im selling, because it's pretty good stuff, i just want to feel like im the most expensive iphone in the store you know, like i want to be able to say im building relationships nonetheless and will make people come running to ME with information but who knows. I'm either playing decently and in a good spot right now, or im a fucking delusional schizophrenic so im hoping tribal reveals something like that one way or another. at least if i get voted off i can stop letting this game stress me the HELL out in the middle of a fucking pandemic

youtube

When AJ leaves and you can trust your new alliance with the beauties and Jakey https://media.tenor.com/images/b4c2f5c658c1d3ade7e506ee7ffe3c5e/tenor.gif When you win your first tribal immunity challenge of the season https://i.imgur.com/8xzlbRW.gif When you don’t have to see Alyssa and Jess at tribal https://media.giphy.com/media/6nuiJjOOQBBn2/giphy.gif My tribe when I get to go to bed early because I don’t have to stay up stressing about tribal https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/58c16a15208b4945c3920cf0/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/nicole-kidman-seal-clap.gif

Second tribal of the game for me and I am feeling good once again. i see myself in a position where I dont think i am being targeted and I really just have room to grow and form my social relationships. I feel bad for connor cause I think he will be going home barring anything crazy happening. He was someone I wanted to work with going into this game, but ill be honest his social game is just abysmal he needs to talk to people more. I originally thought he was just not talking to me cause he assumed we were good but apparently everone feels like they cant have a convo with him. Its way too early for me to do something crazy and deviate so I think hes gonna be blindsided tonight. Maybe I want to lock down a final 2 with TJ soon im starting to trust him more and more and hopefully he feels the same way. Im pretty confident that were gonna merge at 12 because thats the first time my legacy advantage is coming into play but im not sharing that information, that power is as locked to the chest as can be I will not tell a soul all game about it, thats how you become a fan favourite game changer sierra dawn thomas and I will not be her, married to joe anglim what a thought. Im off focus, either way Ive talked a lot about feeling very rocky in this game so far and feeling like I havent found my footing, but Im getting a foundation built now and once I get going, theirs no stopping me.

Is it seriously only Day 14..? Ugh, this game drags on for so, so long. Tonight is gonna be deja vu of Kvaloya in which I once again send home Connor, hopefully unanimously again. I respond to his fucking messages, and he's doing his best Amanda Kimmel "go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation right now. It's ANNOYING. I can't work with someone who does this!

oh duncan. oh duncan duncan duncan. every single time we play together you underestimate me as a player and it is infuriating? so this time you don't want an alliance with me? that's fine... but don't think i wont find out. i'm literally my blood is boiling that he thinks he can get away with this... grr. but also i love autumn for telling me, it shows me i can trust her and we are gonna go the distance. anyway so i do think connor is going to leave tonight and me freaking out will only make it me instead... so i will go with it. but now im waiting to see what jordan and tj say... and to see if they tell me. i dont think tj will tell me, but i do think jordan BETTER. i'm defending him to autumn, so he owes me plus he says we are a duo so he better JKASLDFAF. so now? i feel like i need to trust adam and stop being so nervous to trust him... he is on the bottom with me and we need to flip this upside DOWN. if me/adam link up, that will be good... because im not down to be stuck on the bottom for more than a vote... being on the bottom is how to go home and that's not my thing

So now that the vote is looming, I think that we have it fully on Connor now. Duncan and I came up with the fake vote of Adam which Connor seemed to take? Although he's asking questions that seem fishy, so let's just hope he buys it. And Duncan and I made an alliance of me, him, Jordan, and Autumn which is perfect to have going into merge. I still need to figure out how best to integrate the two so that they can know Jakey is going to work with us but not enough so that they don't know that me/Jakey/Jordan also have an alliance together. But this is awesome going into the next round, and I'm just praying that we don't see an idol played, because that would be DISASTER!

the way i've called adam shady for days and days and now i trust him one of the most? wow a growth arc. i'm still heated about duncan. he is SOO likable and charismatic, and is someone who is genuinely always just fun to play with? so him being in this gamebot really dry state is so frustrating because ik if he just relaxed and let his natural personality out he would snap?! he is just so fixated on doing well this season that he is getting in his own way (at least imo, but this is coming from mr im not in an alliance so im bitter KJSAFD). so anyway now that duncan is not a viable ally anymore, i need to solidify the other connections... and i think adam and autumn are the move. adam is clearly just desperate for allies and while he is over-eager, i think he is earnest so ill stop being paranoid about him. autumn is just a queen and a goddess so im gonna stick with her too... liam is lovely too... i just want duncan OUTTTTTTTTTTT he will not get away with this, i am the meddling kid(s) who will ruin his plans... will duncan go to the end as the gamebot leader... well... https://gph.is/2dmg9hV

also can i just say i love tj?! like i sent duncan very similar messages about feeling like i've been out of it, and the difference in their responses is remarkable: tj: I think everyone understands that you haven't been 100% the last few days, so I doubt anyone is going to fault you for that. And everyone knows that it's a game, real life does come first. like... sweet, supportive without being patronising? validating duncan: and i don't think things have really kicked off over here yet, i think its going to be an "easy vote" but we'll see what happens duncan.... immediately to game, almost his own conversation... i'm... over it?

well we have tribal in just a few hours, and tonight it's gonna be pretty clear cut in the sense that, ill finally have answers because um it's either gonna be me or connor ive been doing my best to lead this smear campaign against him, only because he made the wrong move by coming for me first and continuing to lie to my face about it so at this point i wish i felt bad but i dont. I could be completely delusional but I do think it's working because people have come to ME first and said they want to vote connor, because of both what i was saying and because he just hasnt been talking to many people besides right after the challenge so like... people can see how transparent that is pls also because MULTIPLE people have approached me first today telling me he plans on voting me out so unless they're specializing in some hardcore reverse psychology...i think i have a shot at it being 7-1 connor but once again i literally could be being made out to be a whole ass goof and not even know. or even worst have got all the numbers on my side but then get idol'ed out fdhaskj both very likely scenarios because things never seem this easy in this game ive been trying my best to get to know people and i feel like im slowly connecting more with some of them, so i guess tonight at tribal will be a test on those relationships because all the people ive been talking to will either, believe me, trust me, and wanna play with me, or theyre gonna listen to connor and vote me out, and honestly if they vote me out over him then i completely deserve to go home because clearly im doing something wrong my biggest fear is im hoping i havent come off too strong trying to play by painting this narrative of the old hathor's and connor being so against me, because while yes obviously i want connor gone for my own reasons, the trick is i dont want people to think im leading a charge against him (even tho i absolutely am) because i dont want that kinda target on me but truly who the fuck knows, i could very well go home but idk. this game is like walking into a serial killer convention and trying to stay alive, that's how i feel like im putting my faith in the hands of killers, it's making a bitch shook so i guess we'll see but in a perfect world..... connor will leave....which may look bad because of old tribe lines, but im really trying to wor any magic i have to where me being the only beauty on this tribe would be beneficial for me to hopefully be sought after by any brawns or brains, but if you ask me old tribe lines are about to be nonexistent. even though there will be 4 brawns next round, ive been trying to connect to some of them in the hopes that theyll ditch any old alliance they have to work with me but only time will tell so um yeah keep me in your thoughts and prayers pls

Not gonna lie, I haven't done much of anything this round but I don't mind it! Sometimes I just wanna be a lazy bitch yknow? But yeah, Thoth FINALLY beat its 0 challenge wins curse and we won immunity which I am thankful for given tribal would've been extremely messy? With the Kendall vote last round (which I think was Jakey or Jakey telling Dan to do so), who knows what would've been the outcome! Yay for safety <3

hiiiii no video because i no longer want to do them. let the record show that i was the 1st to say adam's name, if he goes, i did that. if i go, i did that.

i didn't make a confessional this round and tribal is about to start! im going to expect connor to go but this would be a shitty last confessional if i go home tonight. I'm hoping to establish trust within this new tribe. Wish me luck! XOXO Gossip Girl. also my dog just ate the cake i left on the counter >.> thats why im late.

I can't give y'all a real confessional right now cause Cagayan has me screaming but I believe Connor is going home 7-1 and I gave the green light to an alliance I plan on turning on whew so see y'all soon

So basically, tribal happened, beauties lost a number unanimously, theres pros and cons to this. Pros: ppl think the idol left, beauty is less threatening, we show loyalty to more people and build relationships. Bad: someone lied. that kendall throw away vote was to ensure a beauty went home in case aj played an idol, and everyone claims it wasnt them, so someone on this tribe has a case of the LIE-ABETES. * anyway, here is Shit I learned today aka dirt on ppl: 🎃Devon - told me that dan was afraid of an all beauties thing 🎃Jakey - told me dan Ali him and Jordan were a majority - told me Ali has the idol - told me Ali is a rat who warned lovelis - called Adam annoying and ugly - said he wants Devon out next - thinks Devon voted kendall 🎃 scott - told me Devon screwed him over and got himself voted out on brains - told me autumn and Duncan are a duo 🎃 Dan - told jakey that he thinks the brains tribe voted kendall to divide beauty and brawn 🎃 kendall - hidden secret alliance with Jakey - hates dan 🎃 augusto - super close with Devon - wants to blindside Jakey - thinks Jakey is the kendall vote

#BackWithVengeance

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princepriestandpirate · 6 years

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Yo do them all for Ilde! (If u want!)

FINALLY these are finished here’s a bunch of backstory about my favorite shitty girl

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

she kinda idolized the guy tbh. she saw him as an ideal to aspire to, someone who was a hero and lived an exciting life, and ultimately he was more of a symbol than an actual person that she remembered (he disappeared when she was 8). he represented freedom & excitement that she didn’t have in her life, and later on what it meant to be a “hero” (alongside mara). the idea of him influenced her path in life a lot, even if she probably would have fucked off to travel around anyway.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

it’s…. complicated. she loves her mom a lot, her mom is her favorite (living) family member, but their relationship is sort of muddied by ilde being the Family Disappointment™ (and fucking off at the age of 16 to be an adventurer) and the kind of weird relationship that her dad has to the family (bc she looks a lot like her father and is a lot like him). so. it’s weird. they’re very distant now.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

She has an older half-sister, who is about 6 years older than her, named Ada. i’d characterize their relationship as… distant? more than anything else? they’re just far apart in age and in personality that they grew apart as they grew older, although when they were younger ilde was a pain in ada’s ass, very loud and always wanting to play.

at the end of the day though, ilde’s also a little jealous of her sister because she’s everything she couldn’t be– she’s smarter and more responsible and always seems like she’s figured everything out and has found her place in the work. ilde doesn’t regret her life decisions but she know that they made her the black sheep of the family, so sometimes she’s jealous that ada just seems to fit into that life so well.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

i think her mom erred on the more lenient side, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, or save that try to approach the situation by talking it out rather than going straight to punishment. she probably couldn’t keep it up all the time though, ilde was a troublemaker

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

not really? she had a normal family who took care of her but she wasn’t overprotected by any means

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

a weird mix of the two, and probably not on purpose. her family loved her and cared for her (ada will always say that ilde was mom’s favorite) but ilde, physically and personality-wise, is just a little to reminiscent of her father. this meant her mother treated her with a little more leniency, but her sister and her grandmother saw her father in a much less favorable light (that he abandoned the family or that he was too reckless and a bad example), and through either being compared to him or them obviously not looking highly on his chosen profession (which ilde idolized) she felt somewhat rejected. she just felt like she couldn’t fit their vision of what they wanted her to be, basically.

7. What was the economic status of their family?

they’re middle class, they own a small cobbling business.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

she didn’t like it when she was younger (her family worshipped waukeen but in a very ‘goes to church on sunday’ kind of thing, so ilde just saw religion as just a thing that she was supposed to do and therefore boring and annoying), but she’s grown to respect those who practice religion (hanging out with a paladin for like 3 years will do that to you) although she doesn’t want to have anything to do with it herself. she doesnt want anyone telling her want to do or believe.

9. What about political beliefs?

”fuck the government”

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

street-smart, not very book-smart but that’s a good amount due to a) not liking school as an institution because it’s boring and she’s bad at it so why bother, and b) i think she has a learning disability of some sort, probably dyscalculia or dyslexia which made school difficult for her and thus she figured it wasn’t for her and kind of gave up on it

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

she sees herself as smart when it comes to life skills and street smarts, and sees herself as dumb when it comes to traditionally academic spheres

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

i don’t think she comes across as very educated– she’s very crass and generally doesn’t use a lot of complex vocabulary, and her speech in general tends to be very informal. she probably also has a bit of an accent that reflects where she’s from

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

she hated all of it. too many rules and too much structure, and as a result she got in trouble a lot. she also didn’t have a lot of close friends and ended up getting into fights with other kids

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

i dont think her school had much of that? and if it did i don’t think she’d be interested in much of it.

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

she’s the equivalent of a high school drop out

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

she’s an “adventurer” which really is just a fancy word for doing odd and dangerous jobs for not as much money as she should be making. it’s tough work and it’s never as stable or safe or as glory-filled as she’d imagined. she wouldn’t have it any other way though– nothing else affords her the same amount of freedom. also in other jobs you dont get to hit stuff w/ an axe as much? what’s even the point then

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

yes, everywhere she can, because staying in one place too long is boring and she needs to keep looking for work. she’s still traveling now, really

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

a great mentor, new skills, a cool ass axe, and a sense of like... personal responsibility. she remembers what she learned from mara, both the practical skills and the lessons that she didn’t even know she was learning. she remembers bandits and monsters and getting cheated out of money and the feeling of pride in a finishing blow. she remembers seeing mara die and thinking “was it like this for dad, too?”

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

the adventuring life isn’t everything she thought it’d be. it’s kind of thankless, and kind of lonely, and there’s not as much glory in it as one would expect. this doesn’t mean she wont brag about her life like it’s actually really cool tho

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

discovery of the other continent, but that’s about it

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

she’s, uh, kind of an asshole tbh? or at least she can be very rude and crass and really doesn’t care about manners all that much. as for heroes, she thinks a true hero is someone who is willing to give up everything, including their life, for other people. sort of by extension, she hates cowards and people who hurt the innocent. the worst type of people are a mix of those two.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

she doesn’t have many friends, and most of the friends that she does have are friends of circumstance rather than long-lasting relationships. her closest friendship was with mara, but that was also very much a mentorship and born partially out of the benefits of having a traveling partner (and ilde having a bit of a crush) right now though, she’d consider her squad and some of the pirates and prisoners to be sort of friends.

she doesn’t have any lovers lol, but her type tends to be “cute girls who could probably kick her ass”

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

i think she wants someone who could match her & challenge her, push her to be better but also not make her settle down or give up her freedom. really, she wants a romantic AND traveling partner. as for sex, it’s something she enjoys but she’s kinda shy around girls unless she’s drunk so it’s not something she’s having a lot of lol

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

not many? if she’s in a social group she’s usual a part of one because they’re all on the same job (or, as w/ this campaign, all thrown into the same bad situation). in which case she likes to take charge and drive the group forward, even if she’s not the technical leader, although she often just ends up being the fighty one who’s maybe a leader in battle but not in the rest of the mission (or not in a meaningful way)

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

hitting things w/ an axe

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

the closest thing she has to home is her family’s shop, which i think of as being very cozy and well-maintained. her room is probably kind of sparse but messy when she stays there.

as for personal taste, i don’t think she’s very aesthetics-oriented in general, and will go for usefulness over looking good, although she’ll make an exception for anything that looks badass or has the color red in it. she’s currently wearing her pirate’s uniform with the sleeves ripped off, along with her armor. she has long red hair that she usually keeps up in some sort of bun, or in a braid or braids in her downtime. she is short and stocky, with pale skin and freckles, large brown eyes and a strong jaw. i rolled for it an apparently she’s pretty hot too, although i don’t think she puts much work into her appearance beyond the basics.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

her relationship to clothing is very pragmatic, but she likes anything that will carry across the notion that she’s cool and badass and not to be messed with. she wears her clothing in whatever way is most comfortable, and goes for comfort and quality over anything else.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

she is very single rn (altho she thinks lionheart is cute)

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

a very bad mix of pride and recklessness. she’s incredibly prideful and doesn’t want to ever ask for help and it’s gotten her in trouble before. mix that with a propensity to not think very much before she acts (although she’s gotten better about that as she’s gotten older) and it’s a recipe for disaster and also lying to her mom too much

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

kind of; she’s still holding onto her father and mara’s death, but not really in the sense of holding onto a grudge, more in the sense of holding onto those memories because she admires them, and especially with mara wants to follow in her example to honor her memory. so her holding onto the past grounds her with some ideals and morals, especially about sacrifice and what it means to be a hero

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

she has no kids and doesn’t want any

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

very aggressively, put her in a stressful situation and her first reaction is to fight back, either verbally or physically

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health?

she drinks, mostly to relax in between jobs

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

yeah a general feeling of anger is pretty common, right now mostly directed at someone i can’t talk about because spoilers, but she’s dealing with it. she chopped of a worm’s head so she cooled down a little, even if so and so is still a fucking coward

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

unless they’re particularly spectacular failures she just tries to move on from any mistakes she makes and not linger on them too long. her first instinct usually isn’t to blame herself tho

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

she doesn’t like to suffer, but she thinks that all of the struggles (physical or emotional) that she’s had to go through have made her stronger, so she’s okay with having gone through them. she doesn’t like seeing innocents or friends suffer but if it’s the person/thing she’s fighting it’s fine. she’s not going to draw out anyone’s suffering though.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

she tends to live in the present and focus on dealing with current problems rather than be off in her own world, although that’s more of a result of her growing up than anything. when she was younger, she was constantly dreaming about being an adventurer.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

a weird mix of suspicious and enthusiastic? like, she’s constantly seeking out new experiences but at the same time she’s been doing this shit long enough to be aware of potential danger and ready to fight it.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

oh so much. SO much. she generally likes to ridicule people she doesn’t like, especially people who take themselves too seriously or who are very uptight

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

she definitely has a sense of humor but it’s kind of a mean one-- she tends to laugh at other people’s embarrassments and fuck ups

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

she’s gained a bit of this as she’s grown older. she’s not terribly introspective but she’s gained a better sense of her own strengths and weaknesses and is at least able to reflect back on her younger self with something resembling self-criticism

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

she wants freedom, hands down. it’s not a very tangible “want” but it’s the thing that drives most of her decisions-- it’s the reason she rebelled so much as a kid, the reason she left home, the reason she continues to travel and take odd jobs to make ends meet, the reason she want so badly to get off these islands. she’s will to cut ties and even hurt others if necessary.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

not to the people around her, but she’s been exaggerating how cool/exciting/good her life is to her family for a while because she’s a prideful shit who can’t admit when she’s wrong, and it keeps her from having a closer relationship w/ her family and a stronger support system. (i don’t think she went home right after mara died because of this and just dealt with it by herself because she couldnt bring herself to tell her family ‘oh this life kinda sucks sometimes,’ and she only ever goes home when she’s doing well for herself)

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

she’s a girl of action-- she wanted to be an adventurer so she became one, even not being super prepared for what it would be like at all. she tends to jump in head-first into things

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

she’s grown more pragmatic as she’s grown up, but she’s fundamentally very action-oriented and puts her heart into what she’s doing. she was very irresponsible as a kid but has grown more responsible w/ age.

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

she’s tall for a dwarf (like 4′11″) but short overall, her body type is pretty broad/stocky and muscular. she has pretty decent posture but it’s only because her grandmother was strict about it– she doesn’t care about her posture much but she tends to fall back into good posture. as for her body, she’s very proud of it! the way she sees it, her body is a weapon that she put a lot of work into honing and mastering, and her muscles and her scars are the result of that hard work, so why not be proud of them?

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

she wants to project the image of someone a little older and very in-control and commanding. she wants to be very visible.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

depends on her mood. all of her movements tend to have a lot of weight to them, and her movements are either v energetic or v relaxed

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

uhh kind of on the lower side (somewhat deliberate bc it gives off an air of her being confident and serious or some shit), and she tends to be kinda loud. she talks very casually so she doesn’t care if sometimes her words run together a little. she speaks like she wants to be heard and get her point across. she probably has a light accent that one would probably recognize as being from Drag’t, and vaguely dwarvish (bc that’s probably her actual first language and one she spoke at home a lot)

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

a general expression of “don’t fuck with me”

#romanarcadia #ilde #here she is w/ all her vaguely tragic backstory bs too

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dnd-inspiration · 7 years

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If you’ve sent me an ask within 30 days… it's here!

If yours isn’t here, send it again! I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you guys. It’s been a few crazy weeks, I’m generally a lazy person, and having more than 5 asks stresses me out so I avoid my inbox. So lets get to it!

@leonmashedpotatoes Hello there, I'm going to be running a 3.5 shackled city campaign and I'm excited about the campaign, but I'm nervous because my homebrew campaigns have been making me super overwhelmed and I don't end up having any fun playing and the session just ends anticlimactically. How can I keep myself from getting overwhelmed? I figured it'd be easier since I'm using a module but I'm still nervous that I won't end up having fun PLeS HalP

It depends! Why does it overwhelm you? Are you organized enough? Do your players ask you stupid questions that you didn’t think you had to prepare for? Get good at predicting those dumb questions, or get good at improv. Are they doing things you don’t want them to do, like going north when they should go south? Just change the stuff happening in the south to the north. Or block off the path. I’d also recommend taking a 5 - 10 min break. Get up, stretch, get some snacks, etc. AS for anticlimactic session ends, try to plan for a good stop or stop playing too long. Sometimes sessions I’m in go so long we basically end when someone falls asleep.

@meme-regime

Hi, gonna DM a campaign that revolves around 2 countries at war. The campaign will eventually build up to each country having a superweapon, but the players only know about the enemy's. They are sent to stop it and while gone the allied country's goes off accidentally. My question is, how should i get my players invested in the story and really care about and join one side, rather than just do mercenary work? Its a war over land, so neither side is necessarily in the right, morally. Thanks!

Ask them to come up with detailed backstories about where they’re from, any friends, etc. Put those NPCs in the town in the region you want. Maybe one side pays well, maybe one side is filled with [x “evil” race]. Have them meet NPCs that they themselves care about their land. You can’t really force anyone to care about anything. I always stressed myself out when I cared if they did, so I stopped caring. And weirdly enough they started!

@ anon

I want to start dm'ing a campaign. Any advice for someone who's never dm'd before?

Just read up on the rules, find a module you want to try, read through it, and relax!

@ anon

I need to create a D&D character for a group me and my friends are starting. How do I go about it?

I use the app “5th edition Character Sheet” and I love it. If you pay 1 dollar you get to level up easy. There are guides online to help you out. Reading the player's handbook also helps! Make sure you and your buds know what level you’re starting at, and if you’re doing point buy or rolling your stats.

@sevenawkwarddays

So, I just recently started DMing and my group really seems to enjoy inns and enjoys roleplaying visiting one. I'm running out of gimmicks and fun quirks to give them and was wondering if you have any advice or suggestions?

Watch/read/listen to media related to that and take inspiration from there. Look up historical inns, look up local bed and breakfast joints, etc. There are some cool podcasts about history, myths, etc.

@irl-yuya

I'm writing a campaign for my friends (in which I will be both DMing and playing a character) should I get ideas, just knowing my friends' classes and see what happens or wait until they've finished character building? (We're using fan made classes. Dancer, Death Weapon (based on the show Soul Eater) and Dragon Slayer Wizard (based on Fairy Tail.)

Its your campaign, you should make it no matter what they want to play. Their races and classes shouldn’t matter too much. I’m in the middle of writing a campaign where Drow are despised, much more than normal, and driven out of towns. I’d gently suggest my players not play Drow, but hey if they want I won’t stop them. They just need to know what they’re getting into. I’m not about to change my entire campaign just because they want to play Drow but not be treated unfairly.

@ anon

Im setting up a Lamia lair in an old desert ruin, and so far i have a Lamia, jackalweres, manticores, and slaves occupying it. I have a maze, main lair, and slave cages planned, but i want it to be bigger. Any ideas???

Honestly I have no idea what Lamia is and google didn’t help… so here are some maybe not so helpful suggestions.

Room of pots, some overflowing with rubies. When you dig for more, its sand. If one breaks, endless sand pours out.

A giant room with pillars, and a single set of stairs that almost goes up to the ceiling.

A room dedicated to giving gifts to gods. You probably shouldn’t take anything. Should leave something instead.

Giant crocs who can be appeased with hearts

@ anon

So, in my campaign, almost all the PCs have a dead sibling, so I try to emphasize familial bonds in the story. Would having the BBEG's goal to bring back their own dead sibling be keeping to the motif or just lazy writing? Any suggestions for alternatives or ways to make that more interesting?

Whats bad about bringing your sibling back? Obviously raising the dead is a bit iffy but if I was one of your players I wouldn’t hunt him down for doing that. Maybe his sibling is bigger, badder, and generally better at doing evil stuff.

@didthething

My players are wandering through a mountainous region, with occasional Kobold tribes interspersed. They are searching for an old tower surrounded by a thick, cloying fog. What might they run into while they are wandering about?

I don’t have a monster manual, but I’d look into that to help you out! Rocs could be funny, since they sound like “rocks”. Bullets? Birds, goats, other typical animals you’d find on a mountain. Maybe some mountain monks or something.

@candalable

I think this is totally doable for your first game. Neat idea! I think your plot is fine, I don’t have any points. Since this is set in one place, make this places VERY detailed. Names, ages, jobs of all npcs they come across, town export and import, etc. Not sure about puzzles since everything sets back to normal tbh.

@anon

I'm DMing a session and my players are in a campaign where they're in a magical rubix cube dungeon that rotates and opens paths to new rooms when they interact with certain parts of the room they're in. I'm trying to design each room to be unique in both it's layout and what kind of challenge they'll have to go through, and i've already got three rooms planned out, but i'm running dry on cool ideas for puzzles, traps, or fun battles for them to stumble into. There are 5 players if it helps.

@anon

Could read through my blog and see if you can apply/tweak any to a room. Look up popular brain teasers and puzzles, twist them to a dnd setting. A room with a long staircase, halfway up you notice a really tall being just staring at you. Narrow bridge to get to the other side, but its cut. You can climb down the ladder into darkness. The other side seems slanted enough you can climb up.

@literal-trash-heap

In an adventure I'm writing, I need a monster that could make ships mysteriously vanish, but still be suitable for first level players. I was thinking maybe something to do with ghosts and the ethereal plane, but any suggestions would be terrific!

Low HP powerful monster that actually only makes ship invisible and sets them off course? Otherwise your suggestion sounds great.

@anon

In the party I have, everyone seems to be focused on only the task ahead and they aren't finding creative ways to overcome challenges. How can I change this and slyly force them into some RP and world exploration?

You can’t make them play how you want them to. If you want them to get into room A, and the door is locked and you don't want them busting it down but finding the key… make it impossible to break down. Thats as far as you can force their hand though. Maybe they like the straight path? You can introduce some NPCs that want to show them the world, or need an escort.

@anon

Several sessions ago the party I have been DMing helped an Armorer and a Weaponsmith get together. Now, they've been invited to their wedding. It looks like the party wants to go so I want to spice it up a bit. I'm thinking some sort of monster should attack mid vows but I'm not sure what would be good. The wedding will take place in a city set on the side of a mountain, and the players should be about level five by the time they get there. But I have no idea what the monster should be

@anon

Look in the monster manual? Maybe there is a crazed ex lover that wants revenge. Maybe some giant birds want the bird seed, or see shiny objects in the wedding like the rings or decorations.

@anon

im dming for my four friends, but two of them chose to be bards, and the other two are a cleric and a wizard. should i like, force some of them to change roles or is there someway for me to change monsters and enemies so they dont get completely junked

I’d tell everyone everyone’s class, see if they’re okay with that, and treat them like any normal party. I treat my normal parties like they CAN die… but if they’re nice and don’t do stupid stuff, they only almost die. I don’t force my players but if you’re cool with that and so are they, go for it I guess.

@cometgrace

I have a question, if you don't mind. I'm really interested in playing d&d but I have no friends who would be interested so I'm looking to play it online. The problem is, I have absolutely no experience with the game and I know pretty much nothing. What's a good way a get started and figure out the game? or a good way to just learn the ropes?

Read up the players handbook and go online! Roll20.net is something people use. You can also find game shops in your town that host [free] dnd nights with tables for you to use! For free! Most people are patient. Just be up front that that you’re new and do your best to play along.

@gxjira

i have an idea for a campaign and several little details for it but for some reason i cant connect them? so far i have a tiny town full of completely regular people, a well with weird powers, the lunar eclipse and a bad time

Sorry but there isn’t nearly enough information for me to help you out!

@synodicstudying

I have a new DND session this weekend and I'm dusting off one of my old character ideas- a wood elf druid with a chronically ill wife and a 10 year old stepson, driven by trying to find the cure for her wife. She's definitely a motherly figure, with an emphasis on healing and shapeshifting abilities who I mean to make into the glue of the party, but I just got the setting. We're in the Arctic. Any ideas on how to adapt her to fit?

I love your idea so much! Why not have her travel from your beautiful home continent? The arctic supposedly has the oldest seed in the world, frozen in time. And its one of the things you need for your wife!

@anon

So my players have unknowingly contacted the first arcs Big Bad and asked them for work. The Big Bad has been scrying on them and is slowly recognizing them as a threat, not just an annoyance. He's in a really good position to get rid of them without losing his sterling reputation. Any suggestions on how he could do this without tipping his hand that he's a villain to the party until it's too late?

Having them do tasks that kind of fuck up the town, or powerful people only. Tasks like taking a package from the Yarl to X address, instead of Y making it look like you stole it.

#ahh this took like an hour and a half #i gotta start answering them as I get them #dnd #d&d #Dungeons and Dragons #not inspo #ask #asks

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corvvii · 5 years

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♪

symbol headcanon meme | accepting! ♪: three songs that remind me of my muse

I have a tag for that, but that’s cheating, innit! I’ll explain why I chose these songs too! 0:

Carnivore by Starset (x)

This song has been on Leon’s playlist for a long time, but it didn’t make it onto either of the two formal playlists I made for him (which were both heavily trimmed and curated to tell a specific part of his story). Really, the major reason I pick this song is because of these two lines:

Never enough(Who I am is not good enough)

Which is Leon’s entire thought process behind adopting his Crow persona. It’s not enough to just be Leonnaux, he has to be more than that. In part this is kind of based on logic, because compared to a lot of his peers, Leon is basically a kid (he’s only 21!) and lacks experience in a lot of things. As such, he’s prone to making dumb decisions sometimes, despite his best efforts to be methodical and calculating.

It’s also a mindset that was drilled into him over time; he’s always striven for great heights, which he was discouraged from doing before he left home because it wasn’t what was expected or wanted from him. After the Calamity, his family moved into the city, and they’re both much more obviously Duskwight than he is, so their idea in going about their day-to-day lives was to keep their heads down and not attract too much attention and live a ‘normal’ life:

Who are you to change this world?Silly boy!No one needs to hear your words.Let it go.

Leon didn’t quite fit into that paradigm; instead of just going into a trade or somesuch he stuck his nose into books that did take a toll on the family financially and his obsession with his studies negatively impacted (and continues to negatively impact) his physical and mental health.

His girlfriend, Edda, is honestly the first (and at this point in time because he’s basically locked his true character behind seven proxies) person to see him, 100% genuine, with no pretenses or acts or images to maintain. And she accepted him, which he really appreciates. But this is an ask about songs, not an excuse to gush about Leon and his witchy gf fdkhssgdhjgndjfd (but hey they’re wholesome, and if you get the chance to RP with Edda I 100% recommend it, they’re really cool)

Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall (x)

Themes of material wealth not granting the same kind of happiness as emotional fulfillment? Sign me up, man. The imagery in the music video is also spot-on; because of the whole magic/card trick thing that Leon has going on, the carnival aesthetic kind of... Strangely... Fits, sometimes, despite that aspect of his character being inspired mostly because I’m the biggest fan of Now You See Me ever (and it makes sense for a criminal character to gamble as a pastime--and for a trickster like Leon to cheat).

There’s also, of course, this line:

I lust for after no disaster can touch, touch us anymore

Which is appropriate these days again relating to his relationship with Edda. They’ve been through a lot, both separately and vaguely as a couple, and honestly Leon puts it best: “I would tear down the sky if it meant I could see your smile.”

Red Like Roses, pt. 2 by Jeff Williams ft. Casey Lee WIlliams (x)

I might not be on the series anymore but the OST fucking slaps, alright? Alright. That out of the way. There is an entire plot thread regarding the status of his father; it would be reasonable to assume that Vaicean Altoix is dead after being missing for 17-ish (when I started the character it was 15-ish; I tried to run a plot regarding this but I didn’t have any DM experience and eventually dropped it; I’m going to pick it back up as a campaign for INK + Ebonguard + friends during the summer though after AFC ends!) years with absolutely no news, reported sightings... Nada. He vanished into thin air.

One of Leon’s primary motivations, naturally, has been to track him down. This plot thread kind of has to do with the fact that Leon has the Echo (with major nerfs), which is basically how he has knowledge of his father to begin with because when he had to disappear, Leon himself was only 5. He only has vague, fuzzy memories of him, but what he does remember is generally positive... Whereas his family experience with his mother and only brother have been overwhelmingly negative.

In essence, Leon’s father is his only relative who he hasn’t burned, and he views him through somewhat rose-tinted lenses despite the fact that he disappeared because he was suspected of attempted murder. So, a criminal. This extends all the way into naming, with Leonnaux taking his father’s surname after running away from home and using the moniker ‘Crow’ in his criminal-ish operations. More than that is straying into spoiler territory, but god if I don’t ever love to gush about my plotlines. (I just know some people prefer the surprise.)

Of course, the song’s lyrics and Leon’s story aren’t a direct correspondence; Vaicean’s fate is ambiguous at the moment and the song’s first (primary) narrator speaks from a place that would imply a lot more experience with her mother as a person than Leon ever had with his father.

Still, if I had to pick some lines:

Every nightmare just disclosesIt’s your blood that’s red like roses

#ffxiv rp #balmung rp #m | answered #[ thanks for asking! <3 ]#[ these songs? also just kinda slap. theyre all bangers. each and every one ]#gilandcats

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bigbrotherorre · 6 years

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EPISODE EIGHT: “THIS WEEK SUCKS I HATE TWISTS” - BRYCE RACE AGAINST TIME WEEK! EVICTED: BLAKE - 7 TO 4

RANDY AND KAT ARE BACK BITCHES https://media.giphy.com/media/Y9S9jOb7b1LQA/giphy.gif AND I lived to see a 3-part comp that I can actually do well in?? Oh it's over for these hoes and my dog days are behind me https://media.giphy.com/media/MeHQtCSZ46bRe/giphy.gif

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I AM SO SAD ME AND BLAKE ARE GOING TO BE NOMMED BC WE SUCK AT CHALLENGES ARE ARENT RATS!! SO SAD IM CRYING BLAKE IS SUCH A KING AND IF WE HAVE TO BE FINAL NOMS TOGETHER IM GONNA KMS!!! SOOOO SAD IM CRYING AHHHHHHHHHHHH EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG WENT WRONG AND ITS UP TO MY DUMB BRAIN TO DO THE LOGIC PUZZLE BUT I CAN NOT SO UHHHH RIP US WILLL I STAY OVER HIM WHOMST KNOWS!!!

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if i had a heart this week would break it

Hola did you miss me? So I didnt record or make a goodbye DR because I knew there was justice within this universe. I knew my eviction was unjust and thats why I''m back because I have a vendetta to settle and I'm not going to leave until I'm successful. Yes ladies you heard it here, its time to cut the throat of bitches who thought double crossing me was okay. And newsflash: it isn't a good idea to fuck me over. I hated the amount of bullshit I had to endure when I came back into this house. Everybody said "omg I miss u" but the only people who were genuine about it were Jose, Autumn, Ali, and Dennis the rest these bitches were just being diplomatic. And that just shows true character. So since I'm back im going to go through the current cast list as of right now. Ali: A british legend he has been genuine the whole time throughout this game and I'm going to work with him especially since not only is he easy to convince but he is amazing to talk to. Alivia: I can't trust her and I'm not going to. However I will play a little stupid and just make it look like I want to work with her. She is just such a strong personality that if she rubs me the wrong way I'll fucking lose my shit nonetheless. She is no different then any other floater just trying to ease her braindead gameplay by voting in the majority in every round. She has lacked a backbone throughout this whole game, and its not going to grow anytime soon Ashvika: Inactive and not interesting. In HOS she was overrated, and playing with her in this game just proves that she should've stayed out of this community. The worst floater within this cast, and I'm hoping she gets killed in the early jury. Autumn: Literally a queen within this game. She is so forgiving, and lovable. She understands me so well and I'm not going to turn my back on her. She kept me which wouldve fucked her over if I didnt come back. So now that I'm back im hoping our agendas will align and we can fuck over those people first. Blake: He evicted me, so i'm not going to trust him, and I'm not going to be his little bitch anymore. But I'm going to make it look like I need him more than ever. Because once im through with Zeezo and Bryce I'm going to have to go after Alivia/Lynn or Sammy/John. He is nominated this week against Bryce so i need him to actually be a good gameplayer and make sure he stays this week. Bryce: I cant trust him. Ever since Nicholas Julia I just have to think its either Bryce or Zeezo. So I'm hoping that with this week I can have an easy time evicting him and then its guns out on taking out Zeezo. Dennis: One of the reeasons I was nominated week 6 was because he was petty. But that shows that his emotion = his gameplay. So since I'm back I can make a good connection with him. If I can keep up with him and if I know how he feels I'll know how he will play. I have no need to betray him, and I'm hoping in creating a trustworthy ally within him. He's active but I dont think he has cemented himself within any group in this game yet. John: I tried to make a f2 with him to secure his vote. Sister voted me out anyways so I'm not going to trust him ever again. Everytime I talk to him about game he just asks all these questions and shit. I see right through his bullshit because I know a snake when I see one. I put too much trust into him, and he backstabbed me. I'm not going to fuel our relationship, but I will be nice for the time being. I need him to evict Bryce this week so I'm just going to be a good guy with him, and then later into the game kill him for the little bitch he is. Jose: I dont talk to him as much as I want to but I still trust him a lot. He is a good ally, but I just hope he shows more of his potential as a player soon. I want to work with him so im going to continue to be honest and transparent with him. Lynn: I guess she's only social with a handful of people like...... gtfo sister is dry as hell still. She evicted me, and like thats cool. I'm not going to work with her and she is totally at the bottom of my totem pole. Randy: A king... who never goes Prejury Sammy: Out of all the people who talked to me when I came back I knew he was the most nervous when it came to talking to me. He loves appeasement, and makes people know that everything he does isnt with the intention of hurting. Its believable kissass, but for right now I'll buy it. Keep on selling it Sammy. Me and him had an interesting conversation because he thinks im going to target him alongside bryce and zeezo. And I told that I'm tunnel visioned onto Bryce and Zeezo and that now is a grace period ffor him to be on my good side. He's going to be a threat nonetheless near the end, but I need to be good with him since I don't see him leaving anytime soon. Zeezo: I think she's the person who framed me, and if she isnt then i guess I just wasted my time. I would love to take her out, and i would love to get my revenge. I will never trust her, and I will make sure she knows I won't stop until she is evicted. Eviction is tomorrow. I'm pushing for Bryce to leave. The votes Blake has to keep him are me, autumn, alivia, sammy, and probably john. I'm going to talk to Dennis, Ali, and Jose tomorrow and hint to them that I'm evicting Bryce and if they want to work with me that would be the best opportunity to do so. After that I will have to win HoH. I need this HoH because if I don't win it. Its probably going to be Zeezo who wins it. And if neither of us wins it then it gives Zeezo a window of time to change the dynamics of the game to her favor. And whoever wins hoh will fucking waste it on a floater. And the floaters in this game are my lifeline,..... I'm a the Florax..... i speak for the floaters. Thats all you missed right now...... I hope to win hoh and if I dont then prejury here i come again xx

i love everyone coming to me to inform me that autumn and ali are voting to keep bryce when i already knew that we were making that decision together :))) i also love hearing the "you and i are on the bottom" speech from everyone who realizes they're not that important in the majority alliance

THIS WEEK SUCKS I HATE TWISTS Ali- so fake i thought we were a duo but apparently this decision really is hard for him and hes prob evicting me. i would never have voted him out so im just shocked and upset that he so seemingly easily votes me out. he also makes me feel bad that hes voting me? like what kind of move is that. edit: chose to save me in the end still fake tho. Alivia- I love her so much im so glad our connection is really pulling through and shes choosing me over LAB (unless she isnt in which case choke). my secret weapon <3 edit: i was writing this as eviction happened and while on call alivia tells me she voted me b/c she thinks im going home well i stayed 7-4 so think again you fake f2ing FREAK!! Ashvika- Always so honest with me and i love that and hoping shes still honest that shes with me. shes been not on for a while tho so im scared but im hoping that its nothing to worry about :s Autumn- we never work together and i tried to campaign to her but idk if it worked but either way i cant be mad b/c i never put in the work earlier and i tried to vote her out a bunch so itd be hypocritical LOL Blake- MY KING IM SO SAD WE ARE NOMMED TOGETHER if we hadnt messed up counting we wouldnt be going home. im so sad, someone who i never thought id want gone this early it sucks that these are the final noms :/ Dennis- he has been here with me through the whole eviction and has campaigned for me i literally love him so much like he is REAL and some of these houseguests could take a lesson from the KING himself!! Honestly im gonna listen to some linkin park if i survive just to honor him John- king!! i love him if he saves me, if he doesnt im hurt but hes still a king. like i feel like i have the most fun convos with him and hes always so funny plus he tells zeezo things and she tells me things so it keeps me informed Jose- depending on the hour a king or a flop. he said he always was keeping me but then i hear he isnt but in the end he is? well at least an hour and half before eviction. he is so wishy washy hes ali but wasnt as close to me so im less hurt. Lynn- i know shes saving blake so im not hurt shes still a queen <3 lynns world and we're living in it <3 Randy- Julia Nicole rigged for him to come back he wants me out and can choke but he can keep trying cuz I aint leaving Sammy- maybe the fakest person ever. its now like after eviction and HoH so I have some thoughts. he is vague with me the second im nommed talking about hes scared of randy. then he just plans to vote me and doesnt mention it to me??? and i know the whole time and i give him opportunities to talk to me and confess, but no he stays quiet. Then when he sees im safe he msg's zeezo like ahh everyone lied to me, and im like GOOD glad you know how it feels. now after i won hoh he is trying to spin it that he knew i was staying and just wanted to vote me to seem separated from me/zeezo/him trio thats been speculated. like??? he didnt know i was staying and he was just scared of randy!! like just be honest and dont lie to me now that im hoh and ur scared i know you lied already!! idk hes just :@ i was never gonna target him and he threw me under the bus to save himself so quick and easy. Zeezo- the loml. she did so much work to keep me safe. first she came to me with the plan to pretend to be on the fence with ppl so that it would look like we arent close. (something sammy just forgot to do???) and then once she found out sammy was backstabbing me she leaked it to jose and jose was able to convince ali who was able to convince autumn to save me!! she helped me throughout the whole game and i wanna go to the end with her even tho i dont think its mutual... but i love her so much!!

JURY VIDEO

youtube

CAST ASSESSMENT

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE RAT WEEK CAST ASSESSMENT!

#episode #bborre

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rhuemis · 6 years

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13. Introduce your current party.

hoo boy so we got:

-Scales

-Rhys

-Jeckyl

-Isiah

imma put the lengthy descriptions under a read more aha

Scales ((I dont think Scales even has a surname lmfao)):

-Warlock but insists that hes the party medic

-A white dragonborn that was born without scales due to a birth defect who has more than a few screws lose, calls himself a ‘doctor’ and we cant quite tell whether thats the truth or not

-Grew up in a brothel and now travels with the party to gain ‘medical knowledge’ whatever that means

-Has dissected the corpse of a literal god, harvests organs from whatever we kill and puts them all into bottles and then offers to transplant them into you if you get even remotely injured

-Is already mildly possessed but then ate some of the tentacles from a weird squid god for fun and then got DOUBLE possessed and tentacles shot out of his mouth and we had to drag him to a temple

-Something burst out of his chest one morning and now its his familiar. We were all stood at the door to his room like ‘This is Scales, this could just be part of his morning routine for all we know.’

- Speaks with a heavy German accent which makes anything Scales does like 4000 times better

-Isiah has literally promised his corpse to Scales

- Despite his quirks is protective of his party and deserves a pat on the snoot every so often

Rhys Lignius

- Half-elf sorcerer that currently has more levels in warlock than sorcerer

- hes the mom friend of the group and is a pretty serious guy, hes the one who gets shit done but not before he monologues so hard that the rest of us party members say ‘oh fuck no im not listening to Rhys’ spiel again’

-Came from a very important family and is very proud of his Latian heritage, doesnt let you forget that hes a big fuckin deal lmao hes on a mission to do something in relation to his father but hes not quite spilled on exactly what yet, hes just trying to get to some ancient ruins

- Is so much of an actual loser that whenever he casts Prestidigitation he clicks his fingers and the whole party has started doing it back at him jokingly

-Despite being a square we all love him and hes probably the most reliable in the group. Lawful Good™.

-Flavours my bacon.

-Is the metaphorical designated driver of the party, cleans up after us shit monkeys.

-Is physically around 22 years old but might as well be 55 years old.

Jeckyl Corvus:

- Newest party member, a half-elf rogue that keeps getting cockblocked from actually stealing anything

-Wrote a really intense anonymous love letter to my character and slid it under his room door at a tavern a few years before the campaign started after watching him perform and recognises Isiah but Isiah doesnt realise it was him who wrote the letter yet

-Spent some time in gay baby jail for being part of a group of thieves that got bamboozled by a rich and powerful family and was abandoned by the people he thought of as family.

-Wanted to be a tailor in the years before his taste for adventuring kicked him in the nards. He ended leaving his family to go and explore but this decision ultimately ended up with his family being stripped of everything they had so now hes plagued by The Guilt™. Wants to eventually save/steal enough money to get his family back on it’s feet again.

-Rugged and handsome but the most important thing you need to know about Jeckyl is that he keeps a pet mouse in his pocket named Rupert and that one day Jeckyl wants to fucking transmute him into an owl or some shit because he just cannot be satisfied huh. ‘Oh Rupert was my only friend whilst I was living on the streets blah blah blah’ yeah sure tell that to his face whilst you go fuckin Fullmetal Alchemist on his ass. Love Rupert for the contents of his character, not his form smh.

-Acts suave and cool but loses all of that composure when it comes to Isiah. Would probably commit sepukku if Isiah died.

-Has a lot of knives, which Scales finds ‘respectable’.

-First combat fuckin crits the fish plant man that had Isiah grappled 15ft underwater out of sheer gay panic. RIP Shape of Water fish man, you’ll be sorely missed.

Isiah Vakalyn:

-My character so you know hes....really something. Half-elf bard.

-Comes from a weirdly strict family who were actually fucking cultists and were ((and probably still are)) planning on sacrificing him to a demon or some shit but Isiah didnt even notice this shit and still has no idea. He thought everybody was taught Infernal and that families were just like that. His family told him to become a bard and he obeyed. They told him study and he obeyed. They limited his interaction to the outside world and he only really started thinking for himself after he made his first proper friend who then also later fucked him over real bad.

-Ran away from home after being cucked by his “only friend” into maybe murdering her dad we dunno if he died or not but I sure did stab him a lot. She lied and told him she was being abused by her dad and Isiah saw red and agreed to her murder plot only to be abandoned midway through. He also pickpocketed for her for like a year beforehand bc she said she was poor. She was very not poor. Bring on the subsequent trust issues.

-Is a bard but hates getting attention so he wears a black rabbit mask when he performs in front anything that isnt a small crowd. He found that mask in his house so you know thats gonna be some spooky cult shit.

- Is only 5′4 and is very conscious of it. Luckily the party is very understanding and calls him ‘the halfling’ or ‘the midget’ lovingly to watch him implode.

-Once accidentally stole a dwarven baby. Named it Isiah jr.

-Has a pet eel named Illius who is the most fuckin talented eel you’ll ever find. He glows! He talks! He beats your ass at card games! Translates languages! We found him behind a door that was sealed by magic and was only opened after Isiah played the music notes on the map we found. Those notes were an exert of a song by the most famous of all bards, Rickus Astelyus. Lo and behold behind the door was a huge tanks with a heckin good boy inside and Isiah adopted him IMMEDIATELY. Loves bacon bits and scritches.

-Received an anonymous love letter a few years back that gives him major anxiety and literally avoids the city he got it from. RIP Jeckyl youre gonna have to talk to him about that, Isiah is oblivious and has no idea lmao.

- Loves to eat bacon and recently bought out the bacon from the local tavern. Feeds some to Illius because its what he deserves. He’s also currently carrying a fuckton of bread, cheese, jam, and flour. Food is practically his way of diplomacy as he gives some to whoever he meets. It’s almost like his way of nervous self-defence. When tentacles shot out of Scale’s mouth Isiah just started shovelling bread into the tentacles and Scales woke up feeling incredibly full lmao.

-Has also in his inventory: a gay erotica book, a romance novel in a language he cant read, a rainbow slinkie, a magic mood ring that gives him poison resistance, 6 wolf teeth, a wolf leg bone, some gems, 4 days worth of rations on top of all the food he already has, a violin, a flute, and a fancy lute that he found in Illius’ chamber.

-Hes just nervous but loud mouthed and contradicts himself a lot. Anxious and eccentric. Says that hes just a bard and wasnt meant for any kind of greater scheme but the universe has other plans.

-Was once dabbed at by the god of entertainment, Apollon. ((Apollon is the only god Isiah really cares about lmao)).

and despite him not being in the party anymore im gonna give honorary mention to my favourite skyrim-glitch-of-a-barbarian, Florys:

-Was the character of a guy who played with us for one session. At the beginning of the next session he was on webcam with us all and we were about to start playing when suddenly his camera cut out and he went offline and weve literally not seen from him since. He’s not been online in over a month now. Some common theories in our group is that hes off fighting ISIS or got arrested for weed right there and then.

-Due to this weird player disappearance our DM, Benjamin, had to take control of Florys whilst we looked for a new party member. In the session that the player disappeared from we didnt know if he was gonna come back or not so Benjamin had Florys suddenly contract a horrific stomach bug and was just in the tavern toilet presumably making a fuckin hole in the floor with the noise it apparently made lmfao Isiah actually had to try and play music over the top of Florys’ shitfest at one point and only just managed to drown the sound out. But as time went by days were eventually passing in the campaign and the player still hadnt come back so poor Florys was not having a great time in the bathroom for several DAYS.

-Eventually the DM realised that this player was not gonna come back and that the party was short on a tank so he started piloting Florys for a while to accompany us on our quest ((and miraculously recovering from his terrifying stomach illness)) but hed forgotten how the player said Florys was so just was making shit up on the fly. I specifically remember the original player of Florys saying ‘Oh Florys isn’t like those stereotypical dumb barbarians’ which is why I lost my shit when the Florys being piloted by the DM turned around and said ‘What the fuck is a triangle?’ ... Florys is practically brain-damaged at this point, I think it might be the DMs retribution for the player disappearing lmao

-Threw all of his hand axes into a river during one fight and then into a cieling the next, which provoked Isiah to jokingly call out: ‘Oh, Florys! You’re so handsome and cool!’ which Florys with his last 2 braincells took seriously. The handsome and cool line became an on-running meme and gets used whenever any of us fucks up lmao

-For some reason grew rlly attached to a piano he found in Illius’ chamber and carried it around with him out of two parts stubborness two parts piano LUST.

-We ended up using him as a mule to carry all of our heavy shit bc he’d just do it and he literally wouldn’t think anything of it.

-We found a giant birds nest and Florys for some reason picked it up and carried it away and got fucking kidnapped by a giant bird so now hes literally just in fucking sky somewhere sat in a birds nest and being flown around which is wild bc we expected the DM to just kill Florys but instead hes just in the fucking sky where he belongs. Like legit hes just sat in there. Hes just in the sky. Godspeed.

HEAVES I could write so much more but this is already incredibly lengthy so here take it

also @redthebattler idk if any of this would be interesting to you lmao

#dnd ask #Anonymous

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survivorathena-allstars · 6 years

Text

Ep. 3: “Shrek Can Heck the Heck Off” ~ Duncan

So tribal occurred and I guess expectingly, everything went as planned. I was really nervous and I don't know why... probably since it's All Stars and everyone is here to not only impress, but to play. We're the recruits and it means that in the past we've shown definitive reasons as to why we had the chance to bypass the application process and immediately enter. It's wild. Overall, i'm fine with tribal. I would've enjoyed Julia a big longer and wouldn't have minded if she stayed, but when so many people are like "you've been so disconnected" etc, there's only so much I can personally do to reroute that. I really am hoping our tribe pulls through in this upcoming immunity. I just don't want to deal with the stress from last time, and i'm scared that I could be in danger. There is an alliance of 7 (now excluding only Duncan & Sam) but EVERYONE talks to Duncan - including myself, he's really nice - and Sam is just generically popular for whatever reason. They're both extremely active, maybe not as much in PMs as the tribe chat, but still are. This then creates the potential of a flip. I would be totally down to do so in the event that it's just... an easy thing to execute. When looking into long term, there's many people who despite how much I like them personally, are huge threats due to their connections on the other tribe. Of course I have Dana, who will work with me but obviously we'll cut one another if the time comes. But there's bigger cliques of people I guess. Emily is mutually friends with EVERYONE - and I adore her so much that it sucks. Ashvika is a legend, also really liked. Duncan has friends on the other side. It's just like... there's many groups of two-four people and it's an interesting dynamic to put as an obstacle. I guess we'll see how things go and how well people think around this and plan accordingly. Also the archipelago is RUDE! thank you.

Ali Update! So, I survived tribal, but I've officially been hexed so I guess I may as well give up! But ultimately, while it was ugly to vote out Julia, I think going into a swap, we don't want to be the totally dominate tribe in numbers, so perhaps losing a member (or potentially two, even though I have no idea who that would be) could work to our benefit? Who can ever be sure! With that said, I am concerned going into another tribal, in that the options are either our alliance of 7, Duncan or Sam. And like.... all those options are ugly. I don't want any of those happening.... So, (and it looks like we will need to win two challenges to do this) we need to win the next two challenges basically! Which has like a 25% chance of happening, but I do think a music video challenge does actually favour our tribe, so hopefully we can win the next one too! With regards to the swap, it does look like we are gonna have an #ugly four tribes of four swap, but my theory is for each tribal at that stage, two of the four tribes will go to tribal? So it'll be tribals of like 7 or 8 people! we will see I guess, but right now, I am focusing on not having the awful task of voting out another member of this phenomenal tribe! Toodles ALSO I HAVE A VIDEO CONFESSIONAL THAT IS TAKING YEAAAAAAARS TO UPLOAD, ughhhh.

Well my plan went off without a hitch this round. I was able to get an alliance formed with Ali, Ashvika, Emily, JD, Ruthie, and Zachary to have the majority going into the last vote. We also made sure to keep Samuel and Duncan looped in so that it was a nice, easy, vote out for Julia. I love controlling votes, yes I do. So far I haven't found anything in the Archipelago. I can't spell that and I'm not going to look it up so I'm going to call it the Islands of Death. Every time someone has searched we've gotten a notice saying that they were tired but mine never have. Where are they going? What are they doing? Suspicious. I do know that whatever advantage was with the artifacts is gone now. Someone completed the task faster than I did. I have a feeling it might have been something dumb like a double vote so I'm not that worried. Based on the rules, I think there's only going to be one hidden immunity idol and you're going to have to work your ass off to earn it. Athena, Charlotte, and idols don't go hand in hand. I'm only good at finding them in other games. Looks like we're just going to have to keep winning so I'm never at risk!

I’ve said this already but can lily be on my tribe thanks I want a tribe swap

I love my majority alliance yes I do! Honestly this game feels like one where I'm gonna make some solid friends, and even though I'm inevitably gonna have to make some rough decisions if I wanna make it to the end again, I'm gonna be close with these people for a while. And that feels really good!

the hosts hate me. they truly do. a music video challenge. my tribe is doing Shrek. and I am doing suffering.

I have been so frickin unlucky in the archipelago. It really sucks. And I feel like I've searched the whole thing already like wtf! Ugh. Anyway, I'm super excited about our challenge. I love music videos and as long as everyone can go all out, I'll be happy! So far I have Charlotte's videos but that's it. I don't mind though because um I haven't recorded my stuff either lmao! But we're winning and that's that on that.

Everyone: loves All Stars and is having a great time Me:

Lily is (still) talking shit about me and whining in people's pms all because "i haven't talked to her." Fun fact: I DID!!!! That's right- I, the person who was targeted immediately and grew a social game to survive, struck up a conversation with a person who voted me out. And you know what the wildest part is? It went well!! I thought ok maybe we made progress and we'll be chill and cordial from here on out. But apparently that wasn't enough for her. We're strangers!!! What do you want good morning and goodnight texts?? Get over yourself- like what are you 16?? Oh wait she is, which would explain why she has all these great expectations and why me not moving heaven and earth to be her best friend bothers her. I got news for you sis: I'm doing my best goddammit while you rely on a bunch of relationships from prior seasons. Yeah I said it and I can back it up: I knew 1 person on our tribe when all stars began and yet turned the 9-1 vote against me in the FIRST FUCKING ROUND to 6-4 me staying; I built a solid alliance of 5 (we poached Cameron lol); I give every challenge my all; and I maintain decent relationships with 85% of the tribe. But because Lily happened to fall in that 15% and hasn't gotten a fruit basket, I have to put up with her shit until one of us leaves

Also I walk on eggshells in this tribe and I can barely breathe without someone having a fucking opinion. Talk to this person, make more of an effort with that person even though they're being immature, don't work with this person, trust that person, change your part in the music video even though there's nothing fucking wrong with playing Gingy from Shrek, don't mind us as we change OUR ROLES every hour because it's fine who cares if the clock is ticking. I love my tribe and they mean well but I'm 23 years old my gameplay isn't a democracy. Speaking of democracy, Elaenia is back to flopping because we can't make any executive decisions about our music video!! So here I am, mentally preparing myself to talk to everyone in the tribe tomorrow so Lily's campaign against me, which she'll whip out once we lose, will fall on deaf ears. You see what I'm talking about?? This is ONE of 2 orgs I'm in that I've been in for 6 DAYS while my job is trying to kill me. HOW HAS IT NOT EVEN BEEN A WEEK

Am I seriously about to get my second idol? I'm SCREAMING. For THIS idol, what I need to do is not talk in any public chats for 24 hours. So, I sent this lie to the whole tribe that I was silenced by someone on the other tribe and honestly I'm screaming. I've evolved and become a complete liar, this is disgustening. But now I am gonna feel less bad about telling Emily about my idol (even though I don't actually regret it that much!) I feel like telling someone about me having an idol is smart, that way if I am getting votes, they can clue me in! With this now too, I can have my own second layer of protection that they dont know about mwahahahaa. I honestly cant believe how much of a liar I have become!

I made a video confession but I was angrier than I should’ve been and so I’m typing this out because it’ll probably make more sense. So earlier today, Ali messaged me and tells me that he accidentally went to the bridge instead of clifface and I didn’t think much of it. So when I go archipelago searching, I row > path 1 > climb > complete the challenge > clifface > climb > do the simple task. NOW. The simple task is to not talk in the tribe chat for twenty four hours. HUH. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but then I remembered Ali got a very similar disadvantage only he said that someone ELSE gave him this disadvantage. So at first I’m like. Oh. This is a little weird. But I go ahead and message everyone and tell them about my disadvantage and how I won’t be talking in the tribe chat anymore. Then something occurs to me: Ali could be??? Lying to me??? So I sent him the quotes from my host chat and he immediately confessed to lying. And I tell him it’s totally fine. I’m not upset. I understand what he did and like? I can’t be mad because I was going to do the exact same thing. Now Ali is saying he’s going to give the idol. So this is amazing. I’m getting an idol no matter what so yeet. We’re talking about what to do with Duncan now. I think he’s gonna come clean. And like nskwbwjwjwjw this is such a mess! But I gotta help Ali and get him out of this predicament because this is what FRIENDS are FOR!!! Whew. Anyways I’m gonna drive home now goodbye.

i dont deserving anything, especially jaybee in other news, my game is a mess and im the mestress. emily also got silenced... I'd be shocked if my whole tribe even remotely trusts me, and I feel like a complete flop. emily is being so nice about it, but if I was her, i'd never trust me ever again ________________________________________________________________ Over the past 24 hours, I have completely ruined my game. Duncan quite rightly doesn't trust me anymore, and I'm so mad at myself for not trusting him sooner. This is the third game in a row where I've been mad at losing someone's trust and I'm so disappointed in myself. I don't want to be, but I deserve to be voted out next. 100%

I don't think I've made a confessional in awhile and I want to do this before I get called out so. I'm hoping we'll win the music video thing just because I...don't want to go back to tribal. Not with this group of people at least. I myself feel safe and secure, but then again I felt safe and secure at the first tribal and then the tribe as a group assassinated me, like a meaner Murder on the Orient Express situation. I don't think I'll go home but??? I never know with these demons. So anyway I found this...thing in the Archipelago. To get it I have to make sure we lose the next challenge. Not really sure how I'll do that but I guess we'll have to find out. It's kinda a win-lose situation because...like I said...I don't want to go to tribal. But maybe this can help me...maybe. I'm like completely in the dark so I don't really know anything but anything will help!

hhhhh WOW I'm so worried! I took a look at our final video for the lip sync and while it generally looks good, theres also the issue that... i filmed in portrait mode. shit. i REALLY hope that doesnt cost us the win, because i know people despise that (and for good reason) and I dont wanna deal with tribal because I dont know shit about filming, since I'll probably be made a target for that (if not me, maybe jack bc he didn't do anything but also idk if i'd wanna do that because he did say he was uncomfortable with it)

FUCK WE LOST! AND FUCK SHREK TOO!

Literally just cried because of how wholesome the video Amanda Lynn made is, like that just made my night and I know this isn't related to the game but I really just love this cast and this game so much and I'm so happy to be a part of it :')

Me? Forgetting that confessions are a thing very briefly? Yes. I was like... how can I get out all my anger about the music video results? Um? I can CONFESS since I can't FUCKING TALK IN THE TRIBE CHAT! God damn I'm so upset about these results I'm not even kidding I could... rip my fucking hair out. I worked so hard on that video and I'm not saying Cameron didn't work hard on his but I am saying that our video was 10x better. Yes theirs had a theme but like,,,,,,, we were so enthusiastic and cute and positive and wholesome the whole vibe to our video was fun and LILY RECORDED IN PORTRAIT I LOVE HER SHE'S MY WIFE BUT COME ON LILY DON'T DO THAT and like the quality was bad too!! And I just... what the fuck we were really honestly truly robbed. Like I loved Owen as the Fairy Godmother that was hilarious and Will as Prince Charming really was so funny but also FUCK THEM IM SO FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO AMOUNT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS CAN EXPRESS MY ANGER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I HAVE TO GO TO TRIBAL AND IT'S LOOKING LIKE SAM IS GONNA GO AND LIKE I UNDERSTAND BACK HE DIDN'T LIKE CONTRIBUTE A WHOLE LOT TO THE CHALLENGE AND ALSO HIS SOCIAL GAME IS KINDA SHITTY BUT DUNCAN IS REALLY PUSHING TO NOT GO FOR SAM AND GO FOR LIKE JD OR CHARLOTTE AND IM LIEK FDLKFKLSDDAS STOP IT??????????? I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH THIS VOTE BECAUSE I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EVERYONE AND EVERYONE ON THIS TRIBE HAS PULLED THEIR WEIGHT IN SOME WAY AND PROVEN THAT THEY DESERVE TO BE HERE BUT FJKLSDJFKLSDJLFSDLKFSLKDFS I AM GONNA SHIT MYSELF okay sorry to be all in caps for a little bit but Vireao was just fucking robbed know THAT also we have 100% participation SUCK IT!!! Also I called it that Jack wasn't gonna contribute I knew that boy hated music videos and I was RELYING on him not contributing and like losing his tribe points. But we still lost. And the judges made mean comments except "Except for the axe welding earth destroyer. Real star of the video there. Did you make an earth just to destroy it?? I'm nervous!" that made me feel good. I'm an axe welding earth destroyer lol... but I'm also a fucking loser. Okay long ass confession done goodbye cruel world

Ok so I shouldn’t be up but like y’all know I get off work late and play catch up for like 2 hours + don’t sleep normal people hours so I’m really happy we won, mainly because that means I’m 100% safe. That’s how you’re supposed to feel but when you’re paranoid, facts help you sleep better at night. I went from comfortably being Gingy to taking one for the team and stepping up to be Shrek hours before the deadline; so even if we had lost my logic was that I contributed enough deep in the clutch to be seen more as a saving grace rather than a threat or dead weight. Highkey I feel like I’m playing harder than I really want to but these hoes backed me into a corner and every time I try to go under the radar people start running their mouth. Elaenia was branded the underdogs but I feel like the underdog of the underdogs. Yes I’m on varsity and yes I can sit with everyone at lunch but is it enough? Almost being first boot really did a number on me and I literally play day to day. I am not 18th place and I’m even happier that one of the Goliaths will fall- it truly puts a smile on my face My gut is telling me Karen wasn’t the source of getting me out; I think I just want to believe that so I can be at ease but it couldn’t be that simple. The next logical choice is Lily or Kevin buuuuut what if it’s not? What if one of these people who voted with me actually started the entire chain of events? Is Jack lying and does actually know who the source is? Is Lily not the messiest person on Elaenia? Am I justified in watching my back and being wary of everyone, allies included? Reasons why I can’t with this game. It’s a mind fuck and my brain is a whore lmao

I just took a nap now i'm regenerated. 2 hours? WOO! I think it's my time. Maybe i'm just hallucinating and paranoid - but I tend to have decent awareness of what's going on and how people interact with me, but at the same time I have a huge habit of over reading situations. Point is, everyone's being very short with me. Duncan, a person who is usually exciting and lovely, is responding with one word excerpts. Perhaps he's tired but... yeah. Emily is also similar. She hasn't changed her speech patterns in my opinion, but in the manner of what's been happening, it's just more noticeable. If I could just you know... have a say - why not Sam? I understand the 7 person alliance is not going to remain unitedly intact, but that's one easy vote. Not only did he send a 4 second clip (then a 9 second lipsync) to Emily in the last two hours, but he's been the most inactive. I do think he's a great guy, I really do - but it's stressing me out. I think Emily maybe wanted to flip though. I always mention Emily in every confessional I make but that's for a few reasons. First, she's really sweet and enjoyable and I like her. Second, she's really well connected and like a spider web of relations, so being good with her could maybe put me 1-up. Third, i'm literally being her so-called lapdog (by myself, that is). But it's all with good intent of course. Point is before I rambled was that she suspects that our group isn't tight and that we soon will require to flip since a 7 person group is a gigantic majority, and despite the fact that an upcoming swap is glooming in the distance, it is a threatening perspective. If she wanted to flip on someone, unless it was one of a few people (Ashvika... and Charlotte, I guess) I would easily be on board. I like the others, Ali and Ruthie and everyone, but i'll play cutthroat. I'm here to get myself one day further!!!! Not really. Kind of. Who knows. Nonetheless it's a great thought process, and i've been interested in it myself prior to her acknowledgement. I don't want to be blatant cause for some dumb reason I think i'm walking on thin ice, but it's there... it's a potential possibility. Duncan's very well connected so I sincerely doubt anyone would vote him out next, after Sam. Hmm... Also, I really love boulders so i've been trucking on through and now I just need 5 more days (after the 23rd) to search and i'll either find something or realized i've been wasting my time, with higher probability on the latter option.

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So I was really hoping that it wasn't going to come to this because I don't wanna vote out Sam and Duncan ciao know that they are numbers for me over Charlotte... Which for me is what this game is coming down to, me Vs Charlotte, I dont even care who wins the series so long as I can take her out lol. But I wonder if that was why she left them out of the alliance chat she throw me and Ali in. Cus she knew that with such a small number on the outside that it would be easy to get rid of the people I would most likely work with.... She claimed not to be strategic but I know better.

I'm so frustrated. I understand tribal is not a fun subject kiddos but it's something that needs to be done and no one is talking to me. Perhaps they all unitedly agree to vote me out, but I really hope not and I don't think that'd be good for various reasons!! Who knows though. Well, people know, just not me. I'm going to try to encourage a Sam vote or a potential flip but... that'll be whatever the others want.

Fuck I’m pissed that we lost! Grrrr. I literally never want to watch shrek ever again. Shrek can heck the heck off

Upset we lost immunity, hope it’s an easy tribal

AH FUCK NVM WE DID IT AAAAAAAAA IM SO PROUD I was especially flattered that Milissa enjoyed the growing nose thing for Pinocchio, I was really proud of that idea ;w; now if only I had filmed horizontally

I’m out of town. Didn’t help with the challenge. We still won. Interested to see who goes on the other tribe. My social game is weak. The end.

WE ARE SHREK ICONS

This vote is going to be beyond crazy. I’ll update you once I actually figure out what is going on

So I just filmed a video confessional, but I think I need to write out my thoughts since I'm so conflicted. God, just write murdered by Shrek on my tombstone. Anyway, first things first... How blessed are we all to know Emily? Oscar-worthy director, sane person, just inspiration. She helped handle the mess that was my silence idol challenge confusion. She is honestly the best ally I could ask for, and I am so blessed to know her, as a friend and ally. Soppy time over. Time for GAME AKJLFDAkljafd. So, I have decided I need to reassess my core allies. In this game, I need to realise that everyone is of course gonna have an agenda, so its important to coalesce with all the people with motivations similar to mine. Because we share our info, Emily definitely falls into that category, which is why she is my main ally right now. Beyond that, I feel really good about Zach atm. He is so nice and great to talk to, and I think in an alliance sense we really click? So that's why I am really here for the "EAZy Votes" alliance (Me,Zach & Emily) because I really feel those are two solid allies I'd love to work with going forwards. From that point, I also get great vibes from Charlotte & Ashvika as people I'd like to work with going forward in the game. Charlotte is a smart cookie, she knows her stuff, is super sociable and a great person to work with. So like... I'm down to clown with Charlotte. Ashvika is the only person left on the tribe who I didn't have some sort of relationship with preseason, but she is honestly just so nice. She is someone I'd truly love to work with going forwards. Ruthie, my cracked disney queen, is someone who I think would be a great and loyal ally, and like... who doesn't want some Ruthie in their life? That leaves my Emathia chums Duncan,JD & Sam. Sam is a great guy, and someone I always have a place in my soft hort for, but I just think he has for some reason struggle to ingratiate himself within the tribe, which has just made him such a target and means keeping him is like... a big move. Duncan and JD are so conflicting for me. JD has become much more cracked since Emathia, and I am down to crack some eggs, but not the whole batch... So she is scary to work with long term. Duncan I find really hard. As a friend, I love him SOOOOO much, and I always will do. I just get super freaked out, because his agenda is very different to mine (as is JDs). They don't know Zach or Ruthie while I do, which makes it hard to find plans that we agree on? Like with Julia, it was easy, but now it gets harder..... ACK, I dont know. Basically, this whole game is too much for my poor soft hort.

This is going to be the most dark sided season of survivor. This round sam is going home (according to what I know) and I actually don’t want him out. Apparently San has just not been putting in the work in order to make friends with everybody. And I’m like sam! This is all stars! You should be performing your ass off in all aspects. Now granted I have Emily to look out for my ass but I’m also looking out for myself. It’s just Ugly because the one time I want to work closely with Sam and make amends I won’t have the chance to. JD made an emathia alliance chat so I think she wants to save sam but she isn’t pushing for it and people were being indecisive. So after thinking about it for about 12 hours I decided fuck it. It’s premerge, I cannot make any big moves rn, I’m not going to play my idol on sam. And sam is not my closest ally right now so I can’t stick out my neck to save him. JD told me she didn’t care to work with zac Ashvika and ruthie and t shook me. I’m the only one left not in that seven but that’s the only crack I need to survive another round if we were to lose again. Sidenote? I’m not happy with Ali like at all. He and Emily both found the path to the idol but couldn’t speak in the tribe chat or any alliance chats for 24 hours. Emily told us the truth but Ali told us before Emily found the path, that he was being punished. Like this makes me feel better about being closer to Emily in the game. I’m really hoping to survive the night obviously, and it’s going to suck to see sam go but this is all stars so I guess All is Fair in Love and War. And I want to win this war.

AHHH MAYBE I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING!!! I'm mid little mini challenge and I love mastermind, SURELY I can crack this quickly! I really need to win something, our tribe is dwindling down and i don't feel safe at all!

wiiiiiiii I am going to submit a Better Confessional when I get home from Christmas just making sure I get something in this time :) I’m happy we won the music video!!!!! And I’m so excited to see who goes home from the other tribe oops!

hello sweet confessional. I don't have much 4 u, but let me say that Owen as the fairy godmother and Autumn cutting her onion made our video iconique as fuck. Made me love my alliance that much more. I keep forgetting to pretend to socialize with the other people on my tribe so they don't want to vote me out, like i'm doing a TERRIBLE job. With the exception of Autumn, the rest of my alliance is also close with people on the outside of our group, which lowkey sucks but..wig! Catch me getting idoled out honestly. Also i'm probably getting voted out because i'm friends with Zach and like umm no. Idk yall i'm paranoid and I took an exam today so like thinking? it's a no from me.

i love emily so much she could wear stilettos or cleats and do the cha cha slide (two stomps this time!!) on my face and i would thank her

hey so i'm about to save the world by doing a challenge!!!!! aaahhhh!! i don't know what'll happen if i win, but I need to repeat verbatim a phrase from everyone in the tribe chat. kind of thinking that i'll just do it all at once. we'll see you on the other side! oh yeah and it has to be done within the next hour.

HOWDY YALL SOOOOOO I was kind of worried that the other tribe would go fuckin ALL OUT in the music video but our shrek strategy really paid off??? Now that Julia is gone it's going to be super interesting seeing how the dynamics of that tribe split up. I don't think it's going to be another unanimous vote. If Ali and JD stick together, probably with Sam.... And Ruthie/Ali were close af in festive. Emily seems good with everyone. Idk???? I can't see Charlotte Duncan or Zach going either? Ashvika could be in danger tbh but that's so fuckin ugly. I don't want any of them gone but if I had my pick I think JD going would be good for me. She's an obstacle in my relationship with Ali. But who knows! My tribe is really lucky we pulled out a win. I think tension is still rising surrounding Lily being a threat but there's been talk of Jack or Lily having something from the archipelago. SPEAKING OF WHICH I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING OMFG DSKADJFHKJ so at the beginning I was exclusively looking under these boulders and I started going in phone number order..248-7....then I stopped. I caved and grabbed a torch bc there were only two left. But then I realized a bunch of people prob grabbed the torch and got everything from there so I stressed out and returned my torch in order to go BACK to the boulders...and did the next digit of my phone umber....AND HAD TO DO A CHALLNGE! I basically got an extra vote that can only be used at f14 or f7 which is kinda useless to me for a while but it's better than nothing. And it is also a legacy thing I believe so I'll pass it down. nice. I feel like I've been getting even closer to Will this round. I like him a lot and I think he hopefully trusts me as well. I thought I'd be closer with Dana and Cameron but Will is someone that I really wanna go far with and he's the first person I told about my vote thing. I told Cameron too, he's my first ally and rn prob my best ally. Autumn and Dana I've continued to talk to too. I haven't messaged Jack that much oops but he a freak !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fjskahdfj not rlly but I dont want to work with him. I would if I had to but for now I want him gone! Sorry! Although I like how presst he seems to be that Emily cut him. I'm trying to make a snapchat group with my alliances bc teams that snap together stay together. But I'm scared of a swap coming soon :( i love our tribe and the other people I do rlly wanna play with but I want them to kill each other a bit more first. also I've been tyring to figure out why the other two premerge buffs are completely different fonts and designs but i cant do anythin about it rn so might as well not worry about it! if the game changes up I'll change with it

like okay i'm gonna succeed in the challenge but uh it's blatantly obvious that i'm going for something. but this is ALL STARS Y'ALL GOTTA RISK IT TO GET THE BISCUIT RIGHT??? (pls let me win this game)

Ack, I'm really scared Duncan is gonna idol Sam! Also, I feel bad for Sam, he is doing my parroting challenge :( [04:31] Duncan: in every season [02:33] Samuel Rutan: in every season

This vote has been an absolute roller coaster because Duncan has been pushing hard to save Sam and like... people aren't budging. Except JD is actually so cracked? She made an Emathia alliance now she's voting out Sam? And Charlotte messaged me saying she thinks that JD would flip on us??? And honestly this whole vote has been so nerve wracking and like I pretty much feel safe because I worked so hard on that music video but also? I contributed a whole lot to the scavenger hunt in Crossroads and they VOTED ME THE FUCK OUT so I mean WHO FUCKING KNOWS they could be plotting to get me out I don't KNOW!!! But I've been talking to Zach a whole lot more and he's such a nice person and I love him and I want to work with him going forward. FUck tribal is starting I'm so fucking scared

YOU GUYS I AM SO ASHAMED THAT I THOUGHT SAM'S NAME WAS FREAKING SAMUEL like what the heck, what's wrong with me? WHY AM I SUCH A DING A LING???? UGHSDFLJDSFLSJFLSDFJ

I don't really have much to confess right now but I love building my edgic!! It's interesting that our tribe is very divided right now in terms of majority/minority alliance and that the other tribe has had two unanimous votes...very interesting...But as the days go on I feel more and more connected to my alliance of five and can see that the other 4 have made basically no effort to talk to me since the Karen vote (like we've talked about things aside from the game) but like...Kevin doesn't talk to me at all, Madison's lowkey sketchy even though she's a queen, and Jack and Lily haven't talked to me since I apologized for keeping them out of the Karen vote. Also a note - anyone can say "I would've voted with you" and that's an easy lie to tell. So it doesn't really sway me when they tell me that about voting Karen out.

Sam becomes the 3rd person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 8-1 vote. You can see Sam’s preseason interview here.

#NotAllFunAndGames

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