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#i didnt say anything bc i was like. scared to + the job i had before that was worst so i was like ok

noellevanious · 9 months

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hello saw your post asking for experiences with lupron—lupron is just GnRHa (gonadotropin-releasing hormone agonist), ie puberty blockers, so anyone who's been on puberty blockers will have experience. i was on decapeptyl, another GnRHa, for a while, and it does the same thing, ie stop your pituitary gland from releasing LH and FSH (which then tell your gonads to produce sex steroids). i would personally recommend GnRHas above actual AAs (which prevent androgens from binding to receptors, eg spiro bica cypro, unlike GnRHas which prevent your gonads from producing T in the first place, and have no effect on androgens in your bloodstream from eg your adrenal glands, which cis women also have). like first of all you can normally get GnRHas as 3-monthly injections which is a lot more convenient than taking AAs which all have to be taken more frequently afaik, secondly spiro and cypro have side effects, whereas GnRHa is literally just an analogue of GnRH, which your body naturally produces, and all it does is agonise the GnRH receptors in your pituitary gland to make them insensitive to GnRH and therefore stop producing LH and FSH. ie all it does is essentially put your endocrine system into a prepubertal state where your gonads are not getting any signals to produce testosterone, it has no side effects except for the side effects of just being in a prepubertal (or postmenopausal if you like) state, ie without taking HRT you're at higher risk of osteoporosis, loss of muscle mass from lack of T, etc, doesn't have any side effects except for just the effects of hormones/lack thereof.

it's the standard for pre-op feminising HRT in western & northern europe, so if you ask a bunch of european trans women you'll likely hear more people's personal experiences with it. afaik the only reason why it's not the standard in the US is stuff about private insurance; in europe where public healthcare is the standard it's provided bc, i mean, it's just the most logical choice to prevent T production instead of using a diuretic with weak antiandrogen effects... i don't really have anything to say about my experience, it was just a 3-monthly injection i took and didnt have to worry about, basically just set my hormone levels to a blank slate so i could determine my hormone levels by just taking hrt.

thanks for all the info! i had a big scare cause like. i took spiro and was hti by the side effects in a major way, and even teh similar side effects occurred a day or two after i got my first luprine injection (a general sense of like "i feel really bad. just generally emotionally shitty. and i have no idea why: and having to pee CONSTANTLY)

but from what i was reading, people said luprine was like. a t BOOSTER until it literally cancelled out testosterone which meant side effects unless you also took something to cancel it out and i've been on e for over a year so i was really worried my progress wouldve been fucked up a bit by it

for now lupron is doin its job, no side effects rn aside from peeing a bit more than usual (and i know its a side effect because i'm VERY Hydrated these days) so i'm glad it's actually "better" for my needs :)

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ghost-in-your-doorway · 10 days

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Done w therapy

I talked about the financial abuse with my mom bc i was giving context to why therapy had been traumatic for me(therapist getting overwhelmed n giving up on me bc i was taking too long to unlink my bank account from mom among other things)

I told her about the timeline i wrote last night n about how it was all so so much that i could only do what id always known up until i was about 7, and how it stopped bc i remembered moms dont-talk rules

I told her about the discomfort down there i always had and how much pain i was in n how i thought that was normal n my fault and how i rlly wanted to hurt myself so i could stop hurting (an impulse i still have)

I told her about how my family gave up potty training me so they sat me on a rug like an untrained dog. I struggled with urine retention my whole life and it was too hard for them and mom didnt want anything to do with me so it was left to my dad and brothers and it made me tooo scared

I told her about how i was in the hospital for a uti bc of the exam, n how mom refused to see me bc she was angry with dad. And the nurses wouldnt let him come to my bed, but he was allowed to stay in the room until nighttimes. She said he was probably really good at putting on a good face and charming his way thru and convincing them to let him be around me at all. I thought wait i didnt tell you about pastor face tho

She said that it all made too much sense n my stuff is kind of a classic case unfortunately. It all makes so much sense n thats so horrific n sad

I dont remember what i said. I feel like i rambled over her n talked too much. She said stuff about how a lot of her own abuse went unnoticed bc she didnt have words for it, she didnt know much. N i said yeah i thought u get pregnant from kisses bc that was the one thing that didnt happen to me.

A lot of what we talked about was how this stuff just made lots of sense, and looking at my abuse history thru a lens of it was all related to sexual abuse the whole time actually made sooo much sense. I talked about how moms rules about sexual abuse were that it isnt sexual abuse until penetration

Idk

I feel rlly bad for telling. She said she had to go for her next appointment n i feel bad for taking the time. I feel bad she had to hear it. Im so so scared that im gonna overwhelm her, but R says that shes doing this job bc she wants to help people like me

I dont want to be left im scared

#personal 📓

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officialbillhader · 6 months

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When i was 13/14 i made the most basic ass tumblr feminist post that ended up getting 400k notes (if you were on tumblr in 2014 or so you probably saw it lmao) and obviously it wasnt nuanced in any way like i made the surface level claim that women can wear makeup if they want bc they are doing it for themselves and thats not to say they cant wear it if they want its to say its impossible in our society to wear makeup for yourself. I only bring the makeup part up bc 1. My views have changed obviously and 2. I remember as this post was going around someone anonymous sent me an ask and said she was starting to interview for jobs/going into the workforce and she didnt want to wear makeup but was scared of how thatd affect her. All i could say at the time was, im just barely a teenager ive had no job so i cant say anything then some blanket advice i think. But now im 22 ive had multiple jobs and i want to take her by the shoulders and yell to the thin air that if shes up for a job that socially (or even forcebly, like soriorities do) requires her to wear makeup, IT ISNT WORTH IT. Itll never be worth it! Being forced to wear makeup, a bra, nice feminine clothes, always have plucked eyebrows, never a hair on your legs WILL NEVER BE WORTH IT. Ive got an office job right now where i can roll out of bed and throw on a hoodie and jeans and i love it. I wouldnt give it up for a $10k/annual raise and im being so serious. Im not a doll to be looked at. Im not a dress up toy. Im a girl who didnt have any clothes that truly, fully fit her to wear to the literal interview. They were bordering business formal at best. And im HAPPY.

Makeup is a farce. Whenever i see girls who have it CAKED on their face to the point i cant see their skin anymore i get so sad. Makeup can be fun, it can be cool and pretty on special occasions, its great for costumes, but lets face it, when you feel like you have to wear it everyday (no matter how little or subtle), youve never once put it on for yourself. The minute you let your bare face show enough that you get used to it, youll find yourself so so so much prettier than you ever did, and if youre anything like me, will start to despise how you look in heavy makeup (anything more than mascara and eyeshadow, if we're being honest). No job is ever worth losing yourself enough to forget how you actually look.

#awesomepie3221 #ive just been thinking abt makeup lately i guess #i still have so much from when i was teen and got obsessed with (female) beauty bloggers #and then my dad worked for sephora for 2 yrs and kept getting these GIANT boxes of sample prroducts my gosh #ive thrown away so many sample products over the years #i gave away a fuck ton too #most of its gone. i think all the samples are

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demadogs · 2 years

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what are the most and least believable byler theories to you? personally i 100% believe dustin’s line about mike complaining about joyce’s job HAD to have been about will bc it’s just too specific for them to bring up again after specifically establishing will being mad mike didn’t call more. on the other hand i feel like the being different/you’re the heart music theory is a bit of a stretch..

i agree that i dont think the music thing is intentional. when i listened to it it didnt sound right together at all.

there are some things that i really wanna believe bc itd be cool as shit but im still on the fence about. like the one of suzies house and the girl on the ground choking and the kid telling his dad “your terror? it looked genuine!” being a parallel to mike’s monologue. visually i completely understand where the theory came from but the dialogue im not sure. the word “terror” throws me off because if thats paralleled to mikes monologue that implies that mike wasnt actually scared for el’s life which isnt true at all. if the kid said something like “your performance looked genuine” then that could have been applied to mike saying he loves her and i’d be more sold.

another one im not sure about but i would love if it is intentional is the pineapple pizza. it is interesting especially that he ended up liking it but i think it also easily couldve just been a comic relief moment to interrupt mike and el’s conversation.

this one is more of production kinda theory than a plot theory but some people think bylers had a significant moment on 1x1, 2x2, 3x3, and 4x4 so theyre expecting something big to happen for the fifth episode of s5. honestly i think this is a coincidence and im not gonna expect anything when i watch 5x5. thats like a taylor swift level easter egg. like taylor is fucking crazy in the song betty at 2:46 she says the line “james get in” and in august at 2:46 she says the line “get in the car”. that kinda reminds me of this theory and honestly i just dont think the duffers would think to hint at byler through episode numbers. i think when its not dialogue or actions they mostly rely on the set design, music, and cinematography.

i also dont consider mikes cliff jump in s1 a suicide attempt. i know the audience was told that no one would survive that but i think mike thought he would survive and he just might get hurt. i also dont think will was on his mind when he did this. he did it to save dustin.

and this one might be an unpopular opinion but i dont really believe anything related to the number 7 being a byler thing. that was mentioned once in the first episode and it was just to show that in dnd will got taken by the demogorgan and foreshadow what happens to will. yes, he told mike and only mike but i wouldnt at all consider that a byler moment, it was just relevant to the plot and i dont think any other unimportant mention of the number 7 is related to byler at all like mike saying in s3 “sorry that made me sound like a 7 year old” or him drinking 7up on the car. i especially dont buy it when people start doing math with episode numbers or something like that.

some i fully believe in are the mlvn parallels to stancy with both mike and nancy not able to say they love them and both heart to hearts with who they actually love on top of a car. (tho i think that wouldve been more impactful if they didnt bring stancy back outta nowhere but i dont think nancy likes steve back.)

another parallel is when jancy was murrayd and murray said to nancy that shes probably afraid to accept herself for who she really is and that she shouldnt return to the safety of steve bc “we like steve but we dont love steve”. that applies perfectly to mike and i think it was intentional foreshadowing mikes future struggle with his sexuality and liking will more than el, especially considering the fact that this was told to both mike and wills siblings… the other version of byler. i also think this was foreshadow for mike because for nancy i really cannot think of anything she was struggling with where she would be given advice to “accept herself for who she really is”. her story that season was grieving her best friend and wanting to give barbs family closure and having relationship issues with steve because she had feelings for jonathan. thats not much of an internal struggle of accepting herself.

theres a lot of theories i see go around that i think are a stretch ngl but there are sooo many things that i do think are intentional so its always fun no matter what to see what other people think and form my own opinions.

#i asked for asks yesterday and then i forgot to look at my inbox lmao #stranger things #byler #eden answers

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undermycoat · 8 months

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just need to work this all out

ok so im unemployed fresh college grad atm and ive got job apps sent in and even an interview lined up but that interview is in the town my dad is in so im staying with my dad but in the time ive spent waiting for that date ive been with an employment agency but the job that place sent me to was the absolute worst and my mental health has plummeted to the point that i’m getting physically sick both bc of the job and bc i feel like i have to keep looking over my shoulder with my dad right there.

i skipped work saturday and today which is insanely immature but i cant think im struggling to sleep and eat bc of this and today i emailed the agency saying i wish to end our agreement. they said they wished i gave a notice (tbf i thought i had when i was like “i’m moving away” on saturday.. but whatever. actually not whatever — that shouldntve been discounted and im not entirely at fault here) but that they wish me the best and i said thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

earlier last week when i told dad this job is really bad for me he told me to stay working there until i get another job secured. i did not do that and now im terrified of telling him that i quit bc i dont know what hes going to do plus i dont want to talk about it with him i just want to be left alone

also this interview ive got lined up is for a really great company however i dread working there bc that means i have to stay with dad. i want to go back to where i used to live. also i dont like that one of the high up workers there is friends with my dad. being a nepo baby is great unless the nepo comes from my dad. i dont trust him to not keep tabs on me and i dont want him knowing what ive been doing or where ive been. not that im doing anything illegal i just want him to fuck off, yknow?

all of this leads back to the problem ive always had in that hes a huge control freak who needs to know everything going on in my life and i cant escape. my mom got out through the divorce but im still stuck here and i cant leave either bc even if i cant breathe with him and his wife and their kids i love my paternal grandparents and aunt and uncle. im just so paranoid and anxious and i feel like i cant breathe

im so sick of disappointing people but also the stuff my dad is proud of me about is stuff im not that proud of. its like i just cant win with him.

oh and paranoia aside i dont want to owe him anything bc he used to ignore me for months despite me calling and messaging him constantly (to the point that my mom was like “do you even love me? do you even want to be here do you even care?”) when he took me out for dinner one of the times he decided to acknowledge me he said he’d pay for a field trip (past the time the fee was due so i had to get special permission from the teacher) then the next week he said i only talk to him when i need money so actually no hes not giving me anything. WHAT. and then a couple years later he was like “i never got to be your parent you never let me be your dad :(“ and when i was like “why” he was like “i had to always go have fun with you instead of discipline you bc i didnt want our time together to be all sad and me getting mad at you” like again. WHAT.

he said that bc i was like “i was rly hurt when you said i only come to u for money bc i reached out to u a lot and u never replied”. so. idk what to do with that but i still dont rly understand the argument from him here. but yeah i was like rly hurt and then he started crying talking about how he never got to be my dad even tho i was like 19 when this convo happened so he had 19 years to try and didnt and its rly unfair that im supposed to feel guilty for denying him this even tho i was the child and he had total control he could decide what to do with me and he chose wrong and now hes taking it out on me here in this restaurant. ok.

its so fucked cuz now im like so was i doing something wrong all those times we were tgt? like idk im just scared around him bc i dont ever know if im doing something wrong bc he wont tell me or maybe he will or maybe he . idk i just cant sit still yknow?

also his wife is racist and ive got to deal with microaggressions from her. and hes a pastor

anyway i just needed to get that all out there to feel a bit less crazy. thank you for coming to my ted talk ✌️😗

OH YEAH. and he makes me feel stupid all the fucking time like i dont need a job right now. i Should get one but i dont have a mortgage im not buying groceries i dont need to pay for insurance I DONT NEED A JOB. but he told me to stay in this shitass job bc i need it. dude it had me out in the sun all day (ALL DAY) paying $10/hr and had me coming home genuinely thinking about killing myself. not even bc of the physical labor but bc it was so under-stimulating like i was in my head all day no music no interesting surroundings no conversation nothing for me to solve. and he was all like “well sometimes we have to do work that we don’t like” YEAH I FUCKING KNOW DICKHEAD. my mom said he talked like that to her too and also apparently ok not to brag bc im fr not but im rly smart like im fucking brilliant and my dad always acted like it was bc of him but my mom’s other kids are also brill while my dad’s other kids are… theyre sweet kids and intelligence isnt everything im aware i know but its like “really dickhead?” i just hate how he belittles u and talks like ur dumb. im not dumb. dont piss me off

#cupid de bunny #uhh tw daddy issues?#this prolly isnt the most pc ramble.. sorry

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chiroptaro · 2 years

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ok so. the cult explanation. actually wait. it would be funnier to tell you in the order ppl found out.

So basically in ! era (there are several eras, ! era was the first phase of the game, !! is the current phase, which takes place a year later, war era takes place before ! era, and pre-war era is anything before that) Kanata was a 3rd year and part of a unit called Ryuseitai. (One of my two faves) Ryuseitai's theme is heroes, specifically the power ranger type, because the leader Chiaki is obsessed with being a hero and Ryst had a history of being a unit of heroes. Anyways Kanata and Chiaki are 3rd years and Kanata has this. weird way of speaking? Where certain words are in parentheses and he pronounces some words wrong or doesnt seem to know what they mean. Anyways Ryst has no 2nd years, but they manage to get 3 1st years in the beginning of the ! era, and absolutely none of them wanted to be there, so basically they got the leftovers, but they were really desperate because they were gonna graduate. Anyways. Kanata is a weird guy who likes to swim in the school fountain, calls Chiaki his hero, speaks weirdly, doesnt refer to himself as a human, but like. maybe hes just kinda like that.

And then Meteor Impact comes out.

Some perspective. Enstars came out in 2015. Meteor Impact, aka the Kanata backstory story, came out in. 2019.

And oh boy!!! It sure is a story!!! one of the only es stories ive read and. jesus. head in hands. its something <will never be over meteor impact

ANYWAYS.

Youve known for a while at this point of the existence in the war era of a group called "The Five Eccentrics", which were a group of five students who were interesting characters who were really good. Eichi used them to wage his war and get Wataru to fall in love with him but thats beside the point. What is the point is that Kanata was one of them (So were Rei and Wataru, vampire guy and the clown in the images i sent you)

Anyways Kanata is part of the five eccentrics. i realized this might not be that important to the cult backstory stuff im trying to tell. whatever

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS.

Chiaki and Kanata are 2nd years during this time. Chiaki is part of Ryuseitai, and Kanata is unaffiliated. Chiaki does a lot of volunteer work bc ryst are heroes, and one of those jobs is to clean the old school pool, which is completely dilapidated. There he meets Kanata, and Kanata asks if he wished the pool would be clean, and he says yes. Next day he returns to clean it and the pool is spotless. He and Kanata start becoming friends even though Chiaki's kinda put off by Kanata's behavior. Kanata keeps saying he'll grant any wish Chiaki wants, Chiaki keeps saying he doesnt have anythimg to wish for. anyways stuff happens. Chiaki keeps hearing rumors about shady peoplearound the school. At some point his friend who is an ex thug gets beat up by his old friends and Chiaki tells Kanata about it. The friend gets mad because his old friends got super scared bc the police came and threatened them. Chiaki wishes for ryst, which has become lazy and lost reputation, to be more motivated, and they do.

He finds out that theres actually a cult doing everything Kanata "wishes", but Kanata believes hes a god who grants wishes for people. he doesnt see himself as human, and only thinks hes worth soemthign when hes serving others by granting their wishes. Also the cult was formed because a meteor fell like a bajillion years ago and it had some sickness on it so people started sacrificing ppl to try to get rid of the sickness and that didnt work so then they ate a guy and that worked and that was Kanata's ancestor so basically theyve kept his lineage alive incase another meteor comes so then they could eat him. He is aware of this. Anyways Chiaki's trying to save him from the cult, at one point Kanata wants to return "home" (the ocean) so he just.walks into it and Chiaki dives in to save him because hes literally about to drown himself and Kanata gets upset because he cant breathe under water because he thought he could but everyone was jsut gaslighting him around him and then Chiaki;s like "ill save you, i want to be your friend" and Kanata's like "well if thats what you wish" and Chiaki's like "no, its my dream" and then he goes with Kanata to his public execution

Oh yeah uh. so like Eichi is going around "defeating" all the five eccentrics in idol battles to motivate the rest of the school but Chiaki is there with Kanata which automatically disqualifies them but then kanata joins ryst and everyone else leaves because theyre freaked out by him and then they adopt three lovely children the end <3

okay wow okay okay oka

ok so the order is pre-war, war, !, !!

wait okay so the cult is only keeping his lineage alive so they can eat him just in case. but then why are they granting wishes for him? is it bc he's seen as like, sacred? or is it just himself who sees himself as a god?

^ and how do they grant them in the first place??

why is kanata's home the ocean??? why does he think he can breathe underwater?? wjat??

wdym by they were gaslighting him when he was retunring to the ocean were they like "no ya u def can breathe in water i saw u do it like a few months ago" or what

also can't believe gay people are real?? "no, it's my dream." hot diggity dog

WHY IS KANATA BEING PUBLICLY EXECUTED IS IT JUST FOR FUNSIES

[unrelated to the cult q's]

how do the units work? it sounds. kinda like themed clubs is that what they are?

you said there's the vampire guy right. so is there just magic people? what's the dealio in the case of fantasy races in enstars

WHO THE HELL IS EICHI AND WHY DID HE START A WAR OVER HIS GAY CRUSH HOLY MOLY

i want 2 know more about the 5 eccentrics they sound like a delight

#i had to look up what dilapidated meant #this is VERY interesting #eds asks #crane ur so pog #cranestars

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catspinach · 7 months

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ive been meaning to vent on here about work for a long time now so here

i was hired in as a shift supervisor at a brand new starbucks with all brand new employees aside from another supervisor, Mylah, who is a 4yr partner(remember her), and maybe 2 others or so. none of us knew what we were doing. i was barista trained separately from the rest, followed by supervisor training, and then a week off. I came back and had no idea what the hell i was doing, and everyone was mad that i didnt know what to do??

Mylah trained me, and it was brutal. She would critique everything i did, and I always defended myself, saying "why do i need to do it that way if this way gets the same results?" and she did Not like that lmao and the entire training was incredibly tense.

Months pass, and she is worse than ever. she's had several lectures about her behavior but not a single writeup. Nothing has changed. She trained a new supervisor a few weeks ago, and she treated her the same way as she did with me. At some point she slammed a freezer and started shouting, making her cry, and Everyone in lobby turned their heads. i felt awful and wanted to say smth, but I'm genuinely scared of her. Everyone is. Several people have admitted to me that they call off when they see Mylah on the schedule.

The other day, the lobby was empty, and we were free to talk about all the harassment we've faced with her. I cant even remember all of it there's so much but uh here's a list of stuff i remember:

My manager gave Jenn some extra hours, and when they came in, Mylah cornered them, asking why they stole all her hours?? Jenn was comfused because they were literally just added to the schedule so that they would have enough bodies on the floor. Apparently Mylah was pissy at them for the entire rest of their shift, which sucks bc they were already working 12hrs that day:'(

I became friends with a barista named Diana, who is hispanic, and Mylah (white) would always say rude things that made her uncomfortable, saying its okay because her bf is mexican ._. It became a problem and eventually Mylah started looking through all her stuff to get her fired, and succeeded. Diana told me that Mylah would joke with the other baristas about how im stupid and bad at my job, and she said she always stood up for me which definitely did not help her with this whole situation but I greatly appreciate her for it, and we still talk!

Anna said Mylah was talking to her about me and how i do my job wrong. she said i don't face the bills the same way in the deposit bag, and that I dont fill in the money order right so I'm the reason we have so many goddamn nickles, and she said I don't double count the drawers and that's why there's so many mistakes with the deposit. the funny thing is, i DO face the bills the same way, I have never even DONE a money order because that's morning's job, I TRIPLE count the drawers bc i have anxiety, and nobody has EVER said anything to me about the deposit being off.

At some point someone said ret*rded, and Mylah is autistic and was rightfully mad, and brought her to the back to yell at her. not sure what she said but when she came back she went up to me, and only me, and apologized. so like that really hurted but okay whatever ill just go kill myself ig

Mylah was opening one day and told Morgan that since I was closing that it would probably take longer than usual to close? I asked Morgan how Mylah was with closing, and she said that nothing gets done until the absolute last minute, and it takes at least half an hour to finish closing. My record is 2 minutes past close.

Jenn and Taylor told me that I'm their favorite out of all of the shifts, because I make sure to get everything done, I am fast, efficient, and if they have a question I will do my best to figure out a solution for them. Apparently, when they ask Mylah a question, she answers with, "I dont know man, I just work here" and walks away. which like. mood. but she's getting paid 20/hr compared to the baristas at 15/hr, and there is absolutely no reason that the baristas should have to pick up her slack.

Anna used to be friends with Mylah, and they went to get piercings together, and Mylah thought it would be super funny to snapchat Anna having a panic attack about the needle! outside of work, but still fucked up

theres more idk

Mylah got it in my head that I'm the worst of all of the supervisors, and when I found out I was almost all the baristas' favorite, I started visibly shaking with relief! Ive been trying so so hard to make up for how "bad" i am at my job in fear that everyone will hate me otherwise, and now I gind this out and I don't know how to handle this information jdgdheb

I asked them if they would like to talk to the manager as a group, hoping that will show her just how serious the situation is. I don't usually pray for someone to get fired, but I want her ass permanently out of my sight asap

#vent #there's more going on with another supervisor but Mylah is really my main issue #the other supervisor goes around every morning and writes a list of all the stuff i missed the night before and posts it for everyone to se #i love my job #theyre my only problems actually tho like i do enjoy my job for now and i dont have to see Mylah a lot since we're both shifts

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stirdrawsandreblaws · 8 months

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they took our kiddo to an anime con in the middle of a covid spike and didnt even make sure the lil gob was wearing a mask the entire time im so pissed im so tired im so scared

all the time im so fucking scared and i can't say shit bc im just an irrational shit-stirrer to them but ffs this shit kills and disables people for life

one of the new variants goes right to the lungs and doesn't typically show up on tests bc it doesn't linger in the nasopharyngeal tract so it's like Oh, Great, Will We Even Know If One Of Us Gets It, Now, Unless There Are Symptoms? Or do we just get surprise long covid or death somewhere down the line that was preventable except that people reeeeaaaally wanted to go to an anime convention

was it worth the risk? like honestly if they had come home definitely infected would they have been like "well it was worth it anyway"??

would they still think it was worthwhile to go if someone in the fam--god forbid the kid--got really sick? died? (they probably would if it were me, sure, but im expendable dead weight like her brother if the way she talks abt him is any indication)

every time someone coughs or sneezes i feel like crying im so scared for us all

cmon jobs...fucking hire me... i can't do anything as i am...

#stirring up trouble

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shriekshrike · 2 years

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oka okay okay so we have 2 weeks to ruminate right but all EYE will be doing is praying to whatever listens to dykes pray that the bells r gonna rip shit bc these fuckers r BRUTAL

mostly thinkin abt my witches n orym bc I'm Like That

witches bc cmon. imogen already didnt rlly like dusk bc of a lil green eyed monster ('are you staring because you're jealous?') and laudna because. god. ok ive had this happen to me not quite to this extent but found out that a person who like. is so. wonderful to u. is also. not. Great. and a liar and manipulator. so ure stuck in that awful limbo of nothing they say can be trusted....what does that mean for me. o u c h. also bonus: imogen is gonna wreck shit bc laudna's involved as are her feelings so uh. *tugs on collar* y i k e s dusk. also! wouldnt be surprised if imogen feels a bit responsible bc she didnt say anything to anyone when she figured it out. hmmmmm delicious (edit 9.09 AM: i realized that i wrote laudna instead of dusk when i said imogen already doesn't like [BLANK] didnt mean that, imogen wuvs laudna anyway)

orym. bc he - and there is literal proof of this - has lost. a lot and he gets attached quick and tightly. like there r times in exu and in cr3 where we get to c orym b SUPER playful and it is truly a delish opp BUT one of the first times we...rlly see him get Real Playful (and this is a reach, but im leaning across the table, but i'll bet actual money that the spar w dusk? was the same way he would blow off steam and play w will food for thought 🥹) is when he spars with dusk!! he even says it 'i havent gotten to let loose like that in a while!' and then when dusk (in the process of being rejected which did have me ahootin n ahollerin simply for the context) says 'u wanna talk abt it?' and orym goes "raincheck" like. yoinks. orym only talked abt will once with chet and it was on watch w no one awake (also worth noting: orym is so severely and fiercely protective of the ppl who r his esp in light of what his job was and how he lost will like....dusk....whomever u r...ur ass is grass and not in a fun way)

fearne. my beloved. my darling. who felt so not alone. who said 'we are practically siblings' who trusted dusk beyond a shadow of a doubt. and dusk who made fearne feel not so alone in all this. who lended juuuuust enough comfort and familiarity for fearne to latch onto, the girl who lived her whole life without her parents, missing them like a mirage, more memory than reality. the girl who saw a woman with the same face, the same eyes and hair and legs. the girl who said '90 years' when her mother said '6 years'. the girl who watches, in horror, as the person she'd come to care for as a SIBLING as someone who UNDERSTOOD HER, transform before her eyes, grab her mother and her arms, whose mother says, horrified and scared 'you led them straight to us' and fearne says back 'i'm sorry but who?'

anyway maybe ill also do the rest of the party bc i have Thoughts abt chet n ash n fcg but for rn....im schleepy

#cr spoilers #critical role #fearne my dove my darling #bells hells

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paradisecas · 2 years

Text

i think i’m gonna lose my mind

@midamoulweek day 6: alternate universe

i didnt finish this one bc it doesnt wanna cooperate with me but here’s some bits that will probably stay the same if (WHEN) i get this shit to work

“What about the microwave? Does that do anything to Michael?”

“No,” Michael says at the same time that Ghoul says “Yes!”

Turns out, whenever the microwave is used, Michael… glows. And hums. And vibrates a little.

“Sometimes, if he’s distracted, he starts to spin,” Ghoul says. “It’s fucking hilarious.”

Adam cannot see through the tears streaming down his face. Kate is once again reaching for her phone to call an ambulance.

“I hate you both,” Michael says when Adam turns it on again. It’s hard to take him seriously when his eyes are like two little headlights.

Adam hasn’t laughed so hard in years.

Michael stomps away, but the humming stays audible, and Adam might fall over and die for real this time. Would it be the microwave—holy shit, michaelwave—that killed him? Would he glow too?

God. This ghost thing might not be so bad.

—

The ghost thing is bad.

Michael isn’t outwardly cruel, but he does linger in the shadows only to step out when Adam is approaching. There’s another near miss with the stairs, and Kate scolds empty air for a solid minute.

Before Adam talked to them that first time, Ghoul had apparently forgotten that his detachable head could be used as more than something to fiddle with, because now, Adam is finding it everywhere.

Kate is upstairs getting ready for a farewell dinner with the friends she’s made in the two months she’s been taking care of Adam. Adam is hungry. Hoping for leftovers that he can just microwave—with the added bonus of Michael glowing and humming and vibrating until Adam is in stitches again—he checks the fridge.

This is all very normal

The fridge, however, is not normal.

“Boo!” Ghoul’s head shouts from beside the milk, grinning wide with those bloody teeth on full display.

Adam screeches and slams the door shut. That heart attack is coming any day now.

Kate thunders down the stairs, skidding into the kitchen with half straightened hair and brandishing a hairbrush. “What is it?!”

Adam takes a moment to calm his breathing before yelling out, “Michael! Come get Ghoul’s head out of my damn fridge!”

“Oh.” Kate relaxes. “Baby, you scared me!”

“He scared me!” Adam cries. “Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t blaspheme,” Michael scolds when he walks in.

“Since when do you care about blasphemy?”

“Since you started using the microwave just to torment me,” Michael says. He pulls Ghoul’s head from the fridge and flicks his nose. “I don’t care what you get up to but I don’t actually want to go around fetching your head every time you feel like being ridiculous.”

“You totally will though,” Ghoul says, looking far more smug than a loose head should ever be.

God.

Adam’s gonna be finding that goddamn head for the rest of his life.

—

“I was worried about leaving you with the ghosts but it seems—it seems like maybe you could be friends one day,” Kate says.

What about Adam’s constant screaming from being jump-scared at every corner points to friendship? “I guess,” he says instead of refuting her. “It’s like having pets who try to scare me to death and who I can’t touch and don’t have to do anything for and also they can talk.”

“Are you scared of them?”

“Not unless they’re being scary on purpose,” he shrugs. It’s not fun to find a head in his shower or a Michael in his closet, but it’s not like they can actually hurt him. Plus, he’s realized that it’s uncomfortable for them to pass through him, which he has begun using to his advantage. This is just… his new normal. He might as well accept it.

Kate nods. Her suitcases are already in her car. They’re only delaying the inevitable now; she’ll drive the hour and a half back to Windom, and Adam will finally be left alone in his house.

Well. Sort of alone.

He’s been ready for her to leave; she has her own life and her own job that needs her back, and he really does want the full house-owning experience, but that doesn’t stop him from getting choked up when he hugs her goodbye.

“I didn’t cry,” he tells Ghoul later. “I’m not a baby.”

“You totally are,” Ghoul laughs, “but at least you have a mom to get all weepy on. I never even knew my mom.”

“I never knew mine either,” Michael says.

“Who asked you?” Ghoul shoots back, but it’s lacking some of the heat he usually uses with Michael. “Anyway, before he died, my dad told us about her. He said she was great.” He’s resting his chin on his palms, and he starts twisting his head absentmindedly. Maybe it’s a reflex, like bouncing his leg? Adam has to look away before he gets queasy.

“If it’s any consolation, my dad’s a piece of shit.”

“Oh, so we all have daddy issues out the wazoo then,” Ghoul says.

“I don’t have daddy issues.”

“Michael, your dad killed you,” Adam says

“Well, yes, but other than that.”

“Let the man live in denial,” Ghoul sighs. He drops his hands in his lap and Adam relaxes, but only a little—his head is on crooked. “Dude thinks his dad was god.”

“I don’t think he was god. I just think he was a great father.”

“Michael, he killed you,” Adam says again.

“Yes, you keep saying that. It was one time and I truly don’t think it was on purpose.”

“You don’t think—after he wanted you to fight your brother to the death? What if you had died then?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

Adam flops backward onto the couch, sprawling across every cushion. “You weren’t planning on dying.”

“No. I knew I was going to win. Until—”

“Until the molotov cocktail thing, I remember.”

These are supposed to be his friends?

“I wasn’t planning on dying either,” Ghoul is saying.

“I wish you hadn’t died.”

“Aw, Michael! I didn’t know you could be so sweet!”

“I mean I wish you hadn't died here. Then, I wouldn’t be stuck with you.”

“I wish neither of you had died here,” Adam tells the ceiling.

“I wish you had died here,” Ghoul sighs wistfully. “Then I could bite you.”

“Yeah, I’m leaving.”

“No wait! I just remembered I have a question I wanted to ask you.”

Adam can’t imagine what Ghoul wants from him. He’s afraid to hear it.

“Can you use the knife again? I want sharp teeth.”

He’s no less afraid.

“I’m not using the bloody machete just so you can torment Michael.”

Michael places a hand over his heart like he’s genuinely touched. Really, it’s not for him. Adam just doesn’t want to go around using a murder weapon in his everyday life.

“Pleeeaaaassseee—”

“It is staying under my bed, and that’s final. Unless I wash off the blood, then it’s staying in the shed.”

Ghoul shrieks and pushes himself through the coffee table until he’s mere inches from Adam’s face. “That’s me! You can’t wash me away!”

“That is in no way how that works,” Michael says.

“Does it say that in the ghost rule book you presumably have stashed somewhere?” Ghoul snaps.

“My microwave—”

“Your michaelwave,” Adam amends wearily, because why not?

“My microwave has been cleaned multiple times. You’ll be fine if he washes off the blood.”

“But your michaelwave doesn’t have you in it! That blood is my—my blood! Adam, if you wash it off I’ll—”

“You’ll leave your head in the toilet so I keel over dead next time I use the bathroom, I get it,” Adam finishes. “I won’t clean the damn machete. Whatever.”

“But you’ll still use it, right?”

Adam pulls himself off the couch and starts climbing the stairs.

“Adam, you’ll still use it, right?”

He slams his door shut behind him, and pretends that it will keep them out.

#midamoulweek #midamoul #cw gore #kinda #okay it is still friday so i am going strong #i wanted to mke michaelwve work and then i thought michaelwave was stupid and then i wanted to make it work #this is fine #does this mke sense on its own. i dont care actually #i took some inspirtion from bbc ghosts #and its hard to translate that brand of silliness into writing #and i also got really hung up on how adm would be able to afford a house on his own even tho we can just suspend our disbelief and pretend #a resident could do that even w student debt nd whtnot #okay im going to bed goodbye #mine #my writing #oky last thing i know ghoul didnt get his head chopped off im p sure it was just bashed in but also chuck didnt kill michael via microwave #in canon so.

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misqnon · 15 days

Note

do u ever get scared that maybe im lying to u about who i am... i wouldnt do that but i feel like if i had an anon that came off anon and revealed themself i would think "is it really u"... im not rly doing myself any favors by planting this idea in ur head but i want to know if u have thought abt it or not

SOMETIMES THAT IS HOW I AM.. not usually with zosan bc theyre not actually enemies.. theyre more like . rivals who argue a lot (and sometimes they try to kill each other for fun). but when its two characters who like.. idk.. killed each others families for example. i am thinking "get revenge.. kill them.. get revenge... revenge...." and revenge is NOT making out . revenge is NOT getting into a relationship..

ive never written any ship .. fanfic. so i dont think i could confidently write hanyagellan. i should though.. i should learn to write multiple characters. actually up until like. last month. i had never read fanfic that wasnt x reader. wait no thats wrong i HAD but it was characters i didnt know and purely bc i was bored. anyways if i am obsessed with fictional characters its usually bc i want to date them. and the ones i dont like like that r just blorbos, and i dont ship them with anyone. my first times actually shipping characters were basically.. me finding out phoenix wright and maya fey dont get together (i thought they were canon for some reason).. and it means its ok to ship wrightworth. and then enjoying satosugu content, a lot. both happened in the past 6 months or so

im actually kind of thinking kidd might have his time to shine in the next arc??? i wont say why but.. anyways heres hoping .

its mentioned one time in sabaody i think. that they have killed innocent civilians. and when i was rereading i was like "WOAH WAIT WHAT???? THE GUYS I FELL IN LOVE WITH ARE JUST REGULAR MURDERERS??" it was . a shocking moment. for sure. i filtered it out the first time bc i didnt really know kidd that well at the time. but NOW.. now... its different. ok wait i found the image

it doesnt change how much i like them but it is kinda a wake up call.. like thats right.. theyre... bad guys...

maybe marineford traumatized oda /j. like he had to go a while without his perverted cook and hot ladies and when he got them back he had the sanji reaction. maybe sanji is just his self insert. his reaction to being able to draw women again is sniffing them and bleeding out because of them

i have had a few moments where i really liked (mackenyu) zoro. when he smiled, once, i was like WOW ??? HELLO??? I LOVE U ... and then it was Gone.. i just need the silly guy to be silly. either way his action scenes are fantastic like. huge kudos to mackenyu for that. "zoro’s characterization seems to be one of the major criticisms ive seen across the board so maybe they’ll lighten him up for season 2." I HOPE SO!!! its not like hes doing an awful job or anything, im just sad abt the way the character has gone. make him smile a little more and joke around a little more and i will be happy as a clam or whatever that saying is. also excited for whatever the zoro saying fuck scene is.. i dont really notice cussing most of the time in media so i hope it doesnt slip past me

i heard koby's actor is trans?? i was very happy to hear that. excited for whenever we see him again in water 7 and hes all grown up. assuming the show goes for long enough to reach that point

actually i Did draw a fem sanji that i am willing to share bc its not too bad,, here u go. not like i did anything crazy with the design. its just sanji with boobs and longer hair.. and no facial hair. and also theres no obligation to do anything back. bc i was gonna draw fem sanji anyways. im only showing u bc i like u /p >:) otherwise it would never see the light of day

"luffy trying to pronounce the name of someone he doesnt care about be like" im so flattered to be compared to luffy HAHA even if its about his awful ability to remember names

"once i tried to see if there was some kind of website or plug in or tool to put in your email address and find any accounts linked to it so i could delete them but i didnt really find what i was looking for which is crazy." ive never thought to do that, but the fact there was nothing is so??? like dont other people have this issue?? idk if i have any really crazy websites i was on.. its more like the stuff i did when i had those accounts is crazy LOL

"blissful ignorance" fr. best to just ignore ur problems

"BUT I REMEMBERED THAT RUMIKO AT ONE POINT MENTIONED LIKING USAGI DROP AND I WAS LIKE. its so jover you guys" NOO THATS SO BAD... mangaka's please stop ruining ur characters and stories.. please........

"the nyan cat creator is actually here on tumblr lmao" THATS SO COOL.. time to see if they talk about it at all..

"also the vocaloid oliver voices puppycat in bee and puppycat! and a vocaloid song actually mde it into a MARVEL MOVIE??" I HEARD ABT THAT AND LIKE?? MARVEL... MARVEL... THE BIGGEST MOVIE FRANCHISE.. YEAH.... THATS INSANE..

"i could link my vocaloid megaplaylist but its. long." u should anyways .. if ur comfortable. the playlist i used most often to listen to music.. for years.. is 83 hours long. and it was just every single thing i liked. so. just letting u know the extent of how Not Picky i am

"i had one of the most fun times of my life lmao. i was JAMMIN." it sounds like a lot of fun!!! i hope kikuo comes back... so i can go see them... as. an actual fan next time .

"i think 90% of what oda says should be ignored LMAO. MY STORY NOW!! half joking. maybe a little more than half." Exactly!!! exactly!!! although i think his choice to not have any romance was a very good one so i will thank him for that.

"when the live action cast talks about how much they respect him and how cool meeting and talking to him was i almost feel bad bc he seems like a kind and goofy guy a lot of the time, but oof, man really needs to evaluate his biases…" I KNOW,, ME TOO. i saw uh.. iñaki ? meet him . and like.. man.. he seemed so happy. i love the guy. but it is tainted by my knowledge of who oda is.

i do also sometimes purposely bury posts.. im sorry u have to deal with the knowledge that i might see the things u dont want people to see .. also i will go ham spamming u since i have permission now. (im overhyping myself. i will probably spam a normal amount)

i actually resisted tiktok extremely well until like . 2022? maybe? and now ...i am addicted. im not actually but i AM on there a lot.

i think i was like 11? maybe? when i saw the impel down scene with iva . and i was still in denial about being trans for a while after that (i dont know what was going on in my child brain bc i came out as genderfluid 3 times at 11 12 and 13 i think. (i forgot each time. yeah.) and yet i was still like "nah im not trans.. thats not possible") and actually i made a fursona (without admitting it was a fursona. it was just an animal and i said "actually this is me...") and i made THEM genderfluid.. and while making it i was like . "no.. me?? im not genderfluid... but u can be. ur allowed to be ." anyways just a big tangent to say iva thank u for helping me accept myself it was a very long and confusing process but finally... i have a vague understanding of who i am...

i don't think oda would answer me but he HAS said multiple times that he reads every single letter he gets (thats been approved by.. idk.. his manager or something?). imagine being immortalized in sbs though.. i think it would be funnier to be trans and not ask a question involving it at all and when ur question gets answered u can come out and say "whats up suckers actually this was me. i bet u wish u were me huh." . idk, i will do anything to get back at transphobes...

"and iva is apparently based not only on dr frankenfurter but also a drag queen he knew irl?" i heard. i heard that the voice actor for iva IS the person iva is based on . and that he was arrested actually... for .. posting "indecent images" online. i thought that meant nudes but apparently he was just trying to show he has tattoos. on his lower half. and then he had to step down as a voice actor

'sometimes i think about how bon clay’s jacket just says "OKAMA” on the back and it can. sometimes be considered a slur?' i go back and forth a lot on how i feel abt the use of okama in one piece. like on one hand yeah,, queer people do use their own slurs. but sometimes its too much... like.. sometimes i feel weirdly targeted by it. i think part of that is probably bc ive had slurs used against me as slurs but. anyways he doesnt have to use it in EVERY SENTENCE describing a queer person.. right.. like we do have just regular descriptors besides "queer".. but then i have other times I'm like hell yeah!!! queer people!!!!! and i love that they use that word. idk. consistency is not my strong suit.

"2gether we can remember the fishman royal family LMAO." perfect. a team effort.

i dont remember exactly what noah is supposed to be , theyre a little vague about it (probably on purpose) but i do remember them talking about the dawn of the world quite a bit. the poneglyph in the fishman island arc is i think an apology to joy boy. and roger is involved bc he could hear the voices of the neptunians, like luffy can

the only layer of ur comic i understand is the horses sadly... once again my lack of knowledge rears its ugly head..

"i can see him doing this but only to zoro. to piss him off." either zoro wouldnt notice or he would and it would definitely turn into another fight. wait those are just the only two possible courses of action..

"usopp’s in on it probably" thank u. i feel like this was for me. even if it wasn't. thank u.

u can be.. uh.... judge of sanji... no maybe not.. that just reminds me of vinsmoke judge..

i have never understood powerscaling. i have a very slight understanding of what it is but. like. i dont know how thats fun.. for people... i have always enjoyed stories more when theyre focused on characters and settings rather than action. i love a good fight but it is nowhere near my priority. part of the reason i love dressrosa so much is cuz they have that stupid (/lh) moment where everyone starts working together to push back the birdcage. makes me cry every time.

anyways yeah i do think zoro is meant to be stronger. i think its kinda lame cuz the sanji and zoro rivalry, where theyre constantly on equal levels but hate to admit it, is fun. but at the same time i dont think i would mind if zoro was declared second in command and therefore became the stronger one. perhaps thats just my zoro bias showing though. making zoro 1 cm taller is VERY funny .. u know he would use that against sanji.. with the way he constantly lorded over people (sanji especially) that he was the first person to get to sabaody

"its the crack cocaine" this may be controversial.. but i would think that would STUNT their growth /lh. big mom as a child was like the same size as her parents. but with the proportions of a child. and once again i am faced with the question of . do huge characters come out normal sized and then just have insane growth spurts.. or.. the other, scary option: they come out huge. but their parents r usually normal sized... imagining that is terrifying

i like to try to form my own opinions and theories bc i think its fun but.. some ppl are just way smarter than me at reading characters. how do they do that!! the fact u were reading character analysis as a kid is impressive tho bc i was definitely in my "characters are only either evil or good" stage for a loooonnggg time.

u commiting hard vs me having commitment issues. who would win. thank u for excusing sanuso its the only sanji ship i actually like. I'm picky too and. sometimes i just hate a ship for no particular reason. i have tried to analyze myself but i cant figure it out

"i will do you one better and give u a link to the SBS + a translator who looked at the question." THATS PERFECT THANK U

i dont think i can meet oda halfway....

idk if this is popular or not but the reasoning ive seen behind trans zoro is that he took kuinas sword after she died, which is like. a metaphor for leaving behind his pre transition self. n i like that connection a lot. but also zoro as a transmasc is just fun..

also a while ago?? u reacted to zoro not hurting uhh the bird lady on punk hazard. i saw that when i was looking through ur liveblogging.. tags. and i wanted to say that. that made me really angry too LOL . like i expected better from u.. ur supposed to be the one who gives equal treatment no matter what. but then. partially for my own sanity. i started thinking that maybe he didnt actually hurt her not bc shes a lady,,, but because he doesnt like to hurt weak people. he has had a lot of moments where he's shown to protect weak people specifically, regardless of gender.

these comments.. helped me see the light (i hope theyre readable)

if oda does make him into the type of guy who protects women for being women. i might go insane. he had that moment in skypeia where robin got hurt and he was like "shes a woman" as if that makes any difference how strong she is or how easy an opponent should go on her. and wait i see ur point about the characters not acting like their own established .. character... i see it..

if ur interested here are my thoughts from the punk hazard moment. upon reread. i didnt remember it happened because i wiped it from my brain so my anger was just as intense as the first time LOL

tw for violent language and cussing

ok huge tangent aside

that summary from the zosan fic is so good. they r both trans . hell yeah.

i havent seen the matilda movie!! i havent read the books either. i do see ppl talk abt them a lot though and i have been meaning to give it a try. i like danny devito. i love theatre!! havent really seen many shows . especially not high production ones. but i was in theatre in middle and high school. thats Right im a theatre kid. except i was part of the backstage crew and never wanted to do acting.. no one talks about crew it makes me sad

i love trans family frobin and chopper. zoro is also definitely choppers big brother. i disagree with the popular headcanon of him being choppers dad. they r brothers.

i do not have any favorite creators tbh. im very non commital so i will usually only have videos i like or art i like or . yeah . i do have a few recurring one piece artists i reblog though? i think? (all on tumblr.. i dont really use social media). so let me get those for u,,,

attyattlaw

fluffyartbl0g

kiashieart

huyandere (shuggy my beloved)

and honestly i think thats it? i was mostly using tumblr for kpop content until very recently so i dont have much that is. one piece centered.. most of my interests are very different from each otherr,,,

never know how to end asks so here is how i feel about law

i feel like i am not popular enough for that to happen but . but

fear

okay yea thats valid. i dont think ive actually come across any enemies ships like that…i mean im sure i HAVE but i dont think i have shipped any?? well. well no thats not true. but. i was 14 and also stupid

my favorite characters are almost always characters i have a fictional crush on AND one of the half of my favorite ship…this probably says something about me but im choosing to ignore it. i dont know a lot about ace attorney but do phoenix and miles not have some sort of rivalry as well?? or do they become buddies by the end

someone told me they think kidd is gonna be king of the pirates?? did i say that before. i dont know why they think this but that in combination with u thinking he’ll get more screentime is. compelling

JDFBDSKS WOOPS !! its ok…luffy will reform them,..sometimes i think oda writes a character being terrible and then if it was long enough ago we just forget about it and pretend its ok. like.remember how franky beat the SHIT out of usopp AND robbed him and that was never really addressed aside from a few lines and he just joined the crew and has been a happy goofy guy since. i do. i MEAN ZORO ALSO WAS JUST MURDERING PPL FOR BOUNTIES BEFORE HE JOINED THE CREW and then luffy was like hey. stop that. and so he did and we dont talk about it much LMAO

I KNOW SANJI GOTTA BE HIS SELF INSERT. im sure he inserts himself in many of the characters but sanji hardcore. this video talks a lot about it. including how oda’s signature has sanji’s eyebrow swirl. also i think that is why sanji sucks so much and i want to beat him to death with hammers . who said that

YEA MACKENYU IS LIKE. SO PRETTY. HI MACKENYU,..HI. i think what bothered me most is that (esp pre ts) zoro was a very angry and loud character. he laughs loudly, he yells when he’s mad, he gets those big silly angry faces oda draws all the time. he’s quieter post ts but when he gets mad he still gets Loud yanno. zoro is boisterous. but opla zoro is always talking at Edgy Cool Boy Mumble. for reference the fuck is about buggy. which is so funny

koby’s actor IS trans!! i really like the casting they’ve gone with. For doing their races right, first of all, and also for things like giving koby’s role to a trans actor even though they didnt “have to”. and also i will now HC koby as trans thank u matt owens. i doubt they’ll get to water 7 (i think they might like. finish alabasta. and thats it. personally) but i mean WHO KNOWS.

TRANS SANJI….OH MY GOD HI,,, HELLO MA’AM…GOD I WISH SHE WAS REAL. ODA…COWARD!!! YOU PUT HIM ON FORCE FEMME ISLAND AND IT DIDNT EVEN WORK /j

thank you for showing me!! :D

i think there were SOME options but they either required an account or cost money or didnt do the whole job so i kinda gave up. it is weird bc that seems like a very useful tool in this day and age

here…here is my vocaloid megaplaylist…it…pretty much is just every vocaloid song i liked. there’s a couple vocaloid-adjacent songs in there too. enjoy

i actually really like making playlists for ppl (vocaloid or otherwise) so if u ever want a more. condensed playlist of something. let me know!

kikuo is already doing more stuff in the u.s. so i bet he will come back!! i hope he does i spent like $50 on his merch so like I FUNDED IT

inaki meeting oda WAS very sweet imo…some people have said it seemed fake/forced but i didnt get that vibe at all. and oda does seem like a nice and funny person like. in real life. but again I KNOW WHAT U FUCKING THINK IN UR BRAIN…nuance and al that i guess.

i literally reblogged a nsfw comic the other day (it was a joke comic, but still) and i was like i will bury this. and queue it for 1 am. i am so safe. AND NOW I DO NOT FEEL SAFE!! im joking i dont care that much. but tumblr why

how did you…how did u forget u were gendrfluid 3 times…actually. actually im REALLY bad about putting a label on my gender so i cant talk. i used to say “girl with a little agender on the side” or something and then went by demigirl kinda for a while? and then people would ask my gender and i’d be like “idk its whatever man” and my friends would go “i thought u were a demigirl?” and id be like OH FUCK OH YEA but now its evolved and i still dont have a name for it. im one of those ‘no labels’ people now but only bc i dont feel like looking into it more. lazy moment. and labels feel too definitive.

u should do that actually. a couple of his sbs people have gotten pretty popular for frequent comments i think. also I DIDNT KNOW THAT ABOUT IVA VA??? WHAT THE FUCK

PFFT dont worry about not understanding the comic its fairly niche. the song lyrics are from this song (very explicit btw. also a bop imo) and the “lipsync for your life” bit is a reference to rupauls drag race when the queens have to perform to a song to not get eliminated. and i like to imagine iva put sanji through many a gay time

“wait those are the only two possible courses of action..” I USE THAT SAME PHRASE A LOT AND ACCIDENTALLY DO THAT SAME THING EVERY TIME LMAO

fuck…but it would work so well with my gavel…damn it…im uh uh…magistrate of sanji, (i literally googled judge synonyms for this. and also it made me think about that one vocaloid song where kaito is a judge)

i rlly dont care about powerscaling and i have never looked into it and never will. i actually really do like cool fights but in anime they always get dragged out SOO long and then im just pissed cause i care more about the plot and characters. i prefer the idea of them being perfectly matched for multiple reasons but i guess we’ll never know…probably. idk im still waiting on that death pact thing to come back

u make a good point. about the cocaine. maybe it has to do with haki/willpower. tbh i can see that. the powerful guys are always taller. i think oda just wants them to be intimidating but if we want an in canon explanation…its cause theyre so damn AMBITIOUS !!

i was reading character analysis as a kid but i also thought characters could only be one or the other for way too long. bisexuality of man or whatever

what other ships do i like…i like zosan. obviously. i like dofuwani for similar reasons but I WAS LIED TO AND SHIPPED IT BEFORE I MET THEM AND THOUGHT THEY INTERACTED WAY MORE..OH WELL. i like nami/vivi and kaya/usopp!! and frobin!! buggy and shanks can be cute too. but i dont really CARE much about any of them except zosan. any luffy ship be gone from my sight for aroace reasons. wait add hannyagellan

im ngl hannyagellan is like a funny joke ship to me but if it becomes one of those crack ships u acciddentally get attached to im gonna be so mad (i wont be mad itll be really funny)

ive never heard that but i like that interpretation. god. i think about kuina a lot. i miss her. this is so stupid but i was listening to “slipping through my fingers” by abba and makin amvs in my head of zoro losing kuina and shit…embrassing. and also made me emo.

hm…im torn on the punk hazard stuff. to me it def felt like a woman thing esp after that comment about robin in skypiea. i think it goes against zoro’s character esp considering UHH KUINA but its yet another symptom of oda’s own biases bleeding into the work. but i would have to watch it again and consider it being a weakness thing. though i feel like he’s had weak men challenge him before that he didnt make a big deal out of not fighting. or maybe i just feel like if it was a guy he wouldnt hesitate as much…im blanking on evidence

2 OUT OF 3 OF MY ROOMATES IN COLEGE WERE ON TECH CREW HAHAHA they told me about it and made me appreciate it!! i love theatre a lot. i want to go see more. thats the only one ive ever seen and its bc it was for a school trip. my favorite musical ever is cabaret and i watched it all on youtube in several parts jdfnvkfjn (the 1990’s run with alan cumming) i could have been a theatre kid if i was less shy i think.

I AGREE ZORO IS CHOPPERS BROTHER. THANK U. although if we’re talking crew dynamics overall i do not think robin is a mother. she is 100% a cool aunt. and actually not that responsible when it comes to wrangling luffy and crew. franky’s a dad but he’s not THEIR dad. he’s just a dad coded guy who they’re friends with. jinbei gives grandfather even though hes only in his 40’s. brook is weird uncle. nami is a mom. sanji is also a mom. zoro is a big brother and usopp and luffy and chopper are little brothers.

i made my irl friend get on tungle and she also uses it for kpop purposes lmao. i know very little about kpop but she likes ateez…my other friend likes stray kids…i had a friend who liked shinee and i liked one of their songs…i like a few bts songs…but i will never join that fandom (sorry mack if ur reading this)

i think in terms of like one piece videos i like melonteee, totally not mark, mugiwara no goofy (for laughs) and also these two guys who just shitpost and its really funny

one piece artists,,,so many. wellfine is a big one…i love when ppl draw sanji with a hooked nose and lots of body hair. bluechanas…demonzoro…chvvy…that translation blog i linked earlier. i actually have a lot more but i realized a lot of them are just zosan and i didnt want to subject you to . all that 🧍LMAO. WAIT I FORGOT ONE. THEMETALHIRO. THEIR COMICS ARE SO FUNNY ALL THE TIME

i feel the need to ask a one piece question but i cant think of one rn. uh. uh. do u have any questions. or discussions to start. its ok if u dont!!

also p.s. there is never any pressure to watch any of the videos i link it is more for a sourcing purpose unless u actively want to watch them

I HAVE THAT EXACT IMAGE SAVED IN MY CAMERA ROLL LMAO. to end off here are some of my best (worst) sanji images

#asks #replies #long post #march anon

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jazuthevulcanprincess · 5 months

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i wanna kms so so bad so bad i can't stop thinking abt hurting myself i just cant do anything

my body hurts so fucking bad i spent all night crying bc my mom is drinking and imploding and weaponizes her incompetence to make me take care of everything she cant ever handle doing anything on her own but she acts like she doesnt do that

she doesnt understand how her flipping out over every inconvenience and not being able to self sooth and problem solve like an adult hurts me and makes me have to step in to solve it

and she has the audacity to say I chose her as my mothet i chose to be born to her what fucking utter bullshit

im only here with her so i can go to college bc i cant work and do school at the same time, and i cant afford my own life and i struggle not to kill myself at every job ive worked at

im so spoiled and stupid and worthless and fat and ugly and how could anyone ever love me like this, but I cant do any better i dont know how

im not gonna make it thru university i know it, she is gonna keep wearing me down anyway

i cant even read anything for studying i cant get my brain to focus i just keep crying i wish i could leave and take care of myself only

she will never stop using me for her comfort and making me take care of logistics and bills bc she will fuck it up bc she doesnt know how and doesnt want to learn or improve or stop drinking or take responsibility for anything shes ever done wrong in her life

im going to do no better. ive got no future. i cant even go to school how can i work?

ive been trykng to study for 3 days and i keep having to solve some problem or im just unable to read anything, took me 4 hours to do one homework yesterday bc i kept rereading the same lines over and over bc they didnt make sense, it was like pulling teeth to understand anything

and then i got the xmas tree and i had to find it cut it move it set it up etc and clean and whatever and my back and body hurt so badly bc im an out of shape lazy fat fuck who is too scared to excercise in public where people can see me but i also wont excercise indoors bc i hate floor routines i only like walking or ice skating

yoga hurts everything i do hurts and im too much of a weak coward to try to do a single fucking thing

theres nothing worth living for anyway i cant afford anything climate change is making everything worse people are cheering for genocide and capitalism will never leave and ill end up on the streets killing myself anyway so why bother

i cant relax and be vulnerable with anothe human being either so ill always be alone since i dont see that changing anytime soon

and my heart is constantly skipping anyway so ill probably have a heart attack in a few years or get lung cancer since i vaped for a year and have smoked weed for many more years

im a burden to everyone ive ever met including my mother so what the fuck is the point anyway

im only alive to take care of my cats and i cant even do that

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freemindedspirit · 6 months

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Hello, I want to ask for a dream interpretation. I dreamed I was in my grandparents house and I looked up outside and saw that it was night and saw a plane flew by and it dropped a snake. The snake was okay and crawled inside and I was telling them to do something about it but my relatives was just chill and they left it alone. I then saw another small white/silver snake that was a bit sparkly. I ran around jumping and doing parkour stunts since the white/silver snake was chasing me I wasn't scared too much but I was avoiding it intently. I thought I was safe but it suddenly lunge and bit me inside my leg and I thought I was gonna die but I was okay after all. I also dreamed of a silver/ holographic snake before and it also bit me. Was this just a really Random dream? Thanks ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

This is making me think of two things, the expression 'silver lining' and what snakes mean in general. I didnt find anything about a silver snake specifically though. If you had been scared, i would have interpreted it as you not trusting your grandparents to make safe decisions when it concerns you, and you having to suffer the consequences. However, in that case, I think snake is someone or something that is calling to you and coming to you, but that you are trying to avoid bc it doesnt have the full detail of what you would expect it to be. For example, lets say tyou have a job offer that you keep putting off responding to, bc the phone number looks like spam, but if you had listened to the voice mail, you would have noticed it's actually genuine.

You may feel like "shit, another scammer got my number", but whats hiding behind is much better.

#dream analysis

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