PRINCE of the STAGE !

Okay. Somebody Asked. @shoujobell and @cryptidaicat, y’all encouraged this. I’m gonna tag this #long post if you wanna filter.

So here. I got the urge to write and so I ranked the Fruits Basket couples from my favorite to least favorite. These aren’t my complete thoughts because I could honestly do multiple full meta posts on each pairing, but I tried to justify and explain all my choices. Standard disclaimer, this is subjective and we can agree to disagree.

Part 1: Just the reasonably popular ones

1. Kyoru: Someone’s gonna call me unoriginal for this but it’s fine. Kyoru is the main romance of Fruits Basket! They bring out the best in each other and build each other up as characters. Kyoru is basically my gold standard take on Sunshine Girl x Grouchy Dude, and I’m not even usually into that trope otherwise. Their romance is one of the few that feels so genuinely necessary to the story. They love each other and like each other. Kyo understands Tohru in a way no one else in the narrative does, and vice versa. They’re in love like soulmates and also like awkward teenagers. Kyoru invented romance. If it’s boring to like healthy romances with realistic development, I’ll be boring.

2. Tohrin: If Tohru didn’t end up with Kyo I would only want her to be with Rin. I guess they have some of the same appeal as Kyoru for me - Rin reads Tohru in a way a lot of people don’t. I also like how honest and raw they are with each other. They yell! They fight! Rin is down to just straight up knock Tohru over to keep her from rushing off. Also, they’re both absolute fashion icons. Goth x Prep rights. I firmly believe Tohru Honda is bisexual.

3. Yukeru: This is my favorite Yuki pairing. I followed @yunsoh way back when the reboot first started and her blog has got me absolutely hooked on Yukeru. I think Yuki’s arc would have just made a ridiculous amount of sense if he was gay. It screams comphet. Kakeru is an excellent complement to Yuki, and their bond feels incredibly natural. Honestly I feel like it’s the most organic romantic development outside of Kyoru. I think realistically they wouldn’t have gotten together until post-canon and frankly Yuki shines in his friendships much more than romances, so I’m not absolutely dying for them to be together, but if Yuki’s going to date anyone Kakeru is my pick.

4. Arisaki: Man... I just like them. They strike me as less of an epic love and more of a comfortable partnership. I also read them both as lesbians anyway lol. Honestly I think they both had feelings for Tohru at one point and bonded over it. The way I picture them happening is honestly just Arisa at 25 frantically googling “is it gay to hold hands with my girl roommate who I spend all my time with and also we never date men“ because Saki bought them rings that look like wedding bands but they could just be super close friendship rings and oh god she’s in too deep. They’re dating for four years before they notice.

5. AyaMine: But Jessie! You literally never post about this pairing! Yeah, you’re right. I never think about them actively. But when ranking the canon ships I realized that I like the two of them together because they’re chill and understated. They’re huge loud personalities on their own but as a couple, they just feel like two people who are happy together and like spending time with one another. No drama, no mess, very understated. No plot contrivances driving their relationship. Good for them.

6. YukiKyo: Okay, so I can be convinced to put on my YukiKyo goggles more often than not. It feels iffy because there’s debate about how closely related all the Sohmas are and these two are called “cousins” a lot in school, but since half of the Sohmas are dating each other anyway, I err on the side of them being more of a clan than a proper blood family. Anyway, YukiKyo is my designated angst fuel. I think it would realistically be pretty one-sided from Yuki’s side, since we see him wanting Kyo’s approval from a very young age, but I like exploring the what-ifs of their lives if they’d been friends instead of rivals. In canon, I like to think that after high school they’re not best friends in the traditional sense, but either one could show up with a dead body and the other would help them bury it, no questions asked.

7. Yuchi: Really? Yuki’s wife is my third favorite pairing for him? Look, I adore Machi, and I still like Yuchi. But as I’ve been watching the reboot and reading others’ metas, I think I agree that their relationship could have been very powerful as a platonic one, sort of running parallel to Yuki and Tohru. I like them together but I think there wasn’t quite time for a complete character arc for Machi and her growth sort of begins and ends with Yuki. I don’t object to them being a couple in canon and I think they’re genuinely very sweet, but once again, I think Yuki stands out in his friendships more than anything. I would have liked to see Machi strike out on her own a little more.

8. Haru x Yuki: I don’t have any particular feelings towards them but I love their dynamic already and I think as a couple they’d both be really easygoing and comfortable with each other. I think a childhood crush turned close friendship is honestly the narrative that works best for them so I have no need for the two to date canonically, but every time they interact in the anime it gets a laugh out of me. They’re cool. They’d make a very pretty pair.

9. Mayutori: I’m Mayutori-neutral. I think they suffer from Fruits Basket’s pair the spare syndrome, but out of the side pairings that don’t have too much impact, they’re one I enjoy. Mayu’s fun as a character, and painfully relatable, and I like that Hatori’s eventual romance isn’t with someone who reminds him of Kana or something like that. I also want good things for Hatori. Mayutori has serious heterosexual energy though. I’m not saying this as a pro or con, they’re just very straight.

10. Hatsuzu: Okay, Haru and Rin aren’t this far down because I hate them. I’m perfectly fine with them being together in canon. But I think their romance almost... functions better as individual motivation for their character arcs than it does as an actual relationship, if that makes sense? Rin’s backstory episode is heartbreaking and her motivation to protect Haru is compelling and sympathetic, but their actual scenes together just don’t move me that much. Their romance is the least interesting part of either character for me.

11. Hiro x Kisa: Yeah I never got into it that much. It’s cute, it’s a sweet depiction of childhood crushes, but I’m not a fan of the idea of them ending up together. Kisa’s a cutie and Hiro is entertaining but the two of them together don’t actually do much for me. The dynamic between them is almost like if someone did Kyoru with none of the nuance. Ultimately though, they’re kids. I don’t expect them to have a deep and complex romance.

12. Yukiru: I think it would be a disservice to their characters if they were a couple. People far more eloquent than me have already written plenty of meta on why Yuki and Tohru aren’t what the other needs romantically, so I won’t get into it, but basically I just think their canon friendship is so beautiful and meaningful that I wouldn’t want to change it. Yuki and Tohru support my thesis that not all soulmates are romantic.

13. Tohru x Momiji: Welcome to the subjective dislike corner! This pairing is reasonably popular among people theorizing who Tohru would be with if not Kyo, but for some reason it just sits poorly with me. I can’t rank it any lower because there’s nothing evil or morally wrong about it! I just really don’t like it. I’ve quit a few fics because this pairing came up and I just can’t enjoy it.

14. Kakeru x Komaki: Idk, I just think Kakeru latching onto the one girl who was nice to him and put up with his bullshit and then being with her forever isn’t compelling. Komaki’s also probably his beard. She’s likable as an individual though.

15. Akigure: There’s plenty to say about the age gap, Shigure being in love with Akito since she was a fetus because of The Dream, the implications of a 15-18 year old knowing he’d one day want to be with a then-10-year-old... yeah, you get it. But even if I was able to put all that aside because Soulmate Destiny Logic, I still don’t think I’d like Akigure. I think they’re interesting as bitter, codependent exes, but I don’t like the idea of Akito ending up with anyone who she abused or who abused her. I think she has so much growing to do as a character and staying in a relationship within the Sohma family to do it can’t be healthy for her. I can’t see them living happily ever after, nor do I really want to.

16. Kurisa: I think what frustrates me the most here is that I want to like Kureno and everything about this romance is written to dull his most interesting traits. First of all, the age gap. Yeah, it’s gross, I don’t like it. But even past that, the love at first sight, instant fixation with each other, and lack of actual chemistry just kills me. Arisa’s stated reason to like Kureno is that he reminds her of Tohru, basically piggybacking off the chemistry she and Tohru already have, and his total lack of agency means the plot just sort of carries him along. It frustrates me that Takaya could have done something pretty cool by making them simply friends who have a chance encounter and then build a friendship from there that parallels Kureno’s abusive dynamic with Akito. It would be neat if a stranger’s kindness was the push Kureno needed to get himself out of the Sohmas’ grasp, without all the nonsensical drama about them being in love. It would also be less of a disservice to Arisa, who basically just spends the whole series pining for Kureno after they meet and I hate it. I could write a whole post about this. Maybe I will sometime.

17. Kyoko x Katsuya: I don’t think their story is romantic. I think it’s tragic for Kyoko, and if it were framed that way within the narrative, I wouldn’t object so much to its existence. But... Takaya just really likes age gaps with a younger woman and an older man, so the narrative romanticizes this man marrying his student. Katsuya can be depicted as well-meaning as you want, but he’s still got a ridiculous amount of power over Kyoko. She was also still pretty young when she had Tohru, which doesn’t make things any better because it’s clear that the relationship turned physical when Kyoko was a teen, thus dashing the idea of Katsuya legally marrying her to save her but not actually doing anything creepy. I wish Fruits Basket framed this as a story of Kyoko escaping one dangerous situation by entering a relationship with a huge power imbalance, because that happens to girls all the time and it’s tragic and compelling. The events of the story could stay the exact same and if the framing changed I would be fine with it. But this is not that. This is just a really romanticized teacher/student age gap. I’m not into it.

Part 2: Rarepairs, weird shit, and others (oh my!)

1. Yuki x Kakeru x Kimi: OT3. I’m enamored with the idea of this hot mess polycule.

2. Momiji x Kimi: Chaos meets chaos. This couple would say uwu without any irony and also steal your car keys. They’re both perceptive and smart hidden under a layer of cute and I’d wanna watch them play 4D chess with each other.

3. Kazuma x Kunimitsu: Idk how old Kunimitsu is so if he’s like 20, strike this one from the record. But I saw one post once that was like Kyo slowly realizing Kazuma and Kunimitsu were gay and had been dating for years and it was funny as hell.

4. AyaTori: It’s cute. Opposites attract, black and white hair, and Aya only listens to Hatori anyway. It’s just fun to think about.

5. Megumi x Hiro: They don’t interact in canon I just think Goth x Punk-Ass Bitch is a great concept.

6. Motoko x Nao: They’re both loud as hell and Nao having a gf that towers over him is funny. Maybe Yuki would finally get some peace.

7. Machi x Kimi: I don’t see them actually being compatible in canon but I think they could have a really homoerotic college friendship.

8. Hajime x Mutsuki: This is just YukiKyo, the non angst version.

9. Akito x Hanajima: I’m so wary of shipping Akito with anyone but this is kind of fun. The two are friends in canon and Hana isn’t remotely afraid of Akito. Plus Akito never abused Hana. I can sort of see it.

10. Hiroshi x Yusuke: Makes no sense, wouldn’t be relevant, but if those two just never spent any time apart and continued being a pair for life it would be a really good bit.

11. Akitohru: I don’t think it’s healthy to date anyone who’s previously stabbed you.

12. Kazuma x Hanajima: Stop. Go to jail. Hana’s one-sided crush is funny though.

FOR THE CHARACGER MEME pls do: law ace zoro nami >:)

OH BOI- uh- uh..!! Law:favorite thing about them: I actually have an old list of 100 reasons why I love him, but I really don’t wanna write it here bc I was 16 and I love him even more now, so uh… He’s a canon dork, and I’ve always imagined he was just as a poor scarred soul who thought he was cool and acted cool in front of the cool kids when he really just a nerd. I mean, who’s cool and collects coins??? Who just straight up tells someone they don’t like bread and then proceeds to act surprised he said hat? Because he doesn’t know what to do with himself because he’s not used to sharing his feelings publicly. I find that beautiful, & plus the way he smiles while eating soup?? A Godly view. I live every day bc he’s alive, and I always have a feeling Oda’s plans for him are death bc he’s satan, why else would he take away female’s inards to make them look thiccer and kill Ace, a boy who was lonely and abused by the people around him?A-anyway, back to LAw!! least favorite thing about them: If there was something I hated about Law (Which I dont…… …)I don’t like how he rushed into the idea of kicking Doffy’s butt. It was a greedy move, but then again, he had not much training in respect and peace of mind, as he didn’t get to be raised by his good parents. He just wanted instant revenge. He complained that Luffy was rushing into the point selfishly, yet he did too, which is fine though. Neither of them were raised with parents or guardians with self control themselves. But it’s all ok because it just shows how human they were written. favorite line: I can’t remember the exact line, but the one where Chopper asked where the kids were and Law said they he had cut them up. Iconic. What a dad move. (To Chopper.)brOTP: Chopper and Law. Or Bepo and Law. Law’s either a furry or he just really likes animals.OTP: Not to be weird or anything, but I’d marry him.nOTP: Luffy/Kid x Law bc Luffy belongs to adventure and meat, and all Kid and Law did was give each other dirty looks. (No offence but, I feel like 90% of people who ship them are the fujoshi girls and those types of people dont… make me happy,, bc aren’t fujoshi’s those gross girls who say: “My gay sin babies” ??? Or??? … and bc.. idk, something seems off about the ship..)random headcanon: Law’s a weeb and a furry. Actually, is that even a headcanon? P sure that’s canon. uh- Law really wants a spotted owl.unpopular opinion: (Pls, no one kill me ;w; but-)I don’t like how some people write Law as overly romantic as to how socially awkward he is canonly. If it’s their own AU, go right on ahead, but to me, canonly, Law’s really an inner edgelord dork nerd weeb teen who’s got a bad case of PTSD. He’d be really awkward and probably, although he’d try to act confident in everything he says, but I think it’d take him a whole lot of time to trust anyone he’d be romanticlly interested in.song i associate with them: Probably Lost Ones Weeping by Kagamine Rin or uh- This Is Home- Cavetown *sweats*favorite picture of them: *insert every canon image or google image of him* AND UH- THIS ONE IS GOOD TOO!!!!!!

He’s like… Naruto,,,???

Ace:favorite thing about them: Baby boy. Baby. Ace,,, aa…AAA.. i,,, miss him,,, my boy,,, my … boy… I,.,, he,,, he. him… He deserved the world so Akainu shoved him into it. //stabbed to deathleast favorite thing about them: If I ever said a single flaw of Ace, it’d be my evil clone saying it, or something bad happened to me. Shoot me on the spot.favorite line: Every time he said Luffy.brOTP: isn’t that just ASL???OTP: ngl, I’d die for Ace.nOTP: Marco x Ace, Marco is probably the #1 Ace dad.random headcanon: The.. reason why Ace always falls asleep is..he’s got Narcolepsy…unpopular opinion: I should have died, not Ace ;w;song i associate with them: Hide And Seek- Miku :’)favorite picture of them: Babi

Zoro:favorite thing about them: Fell in love with him (Platonicly) when I first met him when he ate those riceballs from the dirt. Iconic. I could never. What a role model. (Kids, please don’t look to him as a role model, that was a terrible line by me,please don’t do what he does. You may die or go to jail. Or both.)least favorite thing about them: ???? What??? He’s???? ???? My green son???favorite line: “I got on… The wrong ship…”brOTP: Luffy and Zorro.OTP: Honestly, Zoro belongs to everyone. Zoro is the husband character, lol.nOTP: Uh… Has anyone done something cursed as to ship him with Mihawk???? I sure hope they haven’t,,,random headcanon: The reason why Zoro always get’s lost is because he starts to think about stuff. Like, deep in though. YOu know that brain meme? That’s him. He’s thinking bout that kinda stuff probably.unpopular opinion: he should let his hair grow out a bit more. If he fluffed it a bit, he could become one with his kin. Marimo…song i associate with them: Katana-Zoro :))favorite picture of them:

Nami:favorite thing about them: She’s the queen. I don’t care what anyone says, she’s an icon to everyone. least favorite thing about them: Nothing. Nami is baby, and I love her.favorite line: I,,, the one where she wants to save the children,,!!!!brOTP: Nami and Usopp!!!OTP: Ngl, I love Sanji x Nami to death, but Nami with anyone really. Except Zoro. I don’t really see it?? nOTP: Hmmb… idk, I haven’t seen any cursed Nami ships yet.random headcanon: Nami eats so much citris she has liquid po- *immediatly dies by Sanji*unpopular opinion: Idk man, Nami’s just cool and I love her. She’s a queen.song i associate with them: Last of Me (Teto’s version)favorite picture of them:

sorry this post is long!!