#i complain abt my mom a lot but honestly she isnt that bad she really does love me & she tries | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transrightsjimin · 3 years

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urgh im less upset abt grandma dying nd more upset abt my family being so fucking STUPID for acting like they cant do anything anymore during the pandemic nd inviting me for a christmas dinner nd my cousin saying they ‘should just do w/e we want instead of look at rules, because this loss is more important now’ nd the rest agreed O_O

like u fucking DUMBASSES, THE VIRUS IS THE FUCKING REASON GRANDMA DIED ND U WANT TO HAVE CHRISTMAS DINNERS ND MEET UP W THE WHOLE FAMILY IN 2021????

THE CONCEPT OF FORCED 'GEZELLIGHEID' ('cozy togetherness'?) IS LITERALLY WHAT IS HAVING PEOPLE KILLED IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY

also i feel fucking disgusted for letting my brother pull me in a hug (nd my mom hugged me too which i hate bc shes literally a risk group) bc hes a fucking fascist nd i saw him in a whatsapp group w antisemitic meme today nd i want to puke !!!!!!!

i dont want to fucking see my family during this pandemic but they always force me to be together w them bc thats considered 'GEZELLIG!!!' and normal and fun nd im too bad at saying no when im peerpressured, i fucking hate it nd don;t want my mom or other grandma to die bc of their dumbass behaviour by continuing to visit ppl inside their homes. they really talked about how different it was this cremation vs. decades ago at the same place bc “now we couldn’t enter at the same time nd people could touch each other and sit closely” LIKE U??? LITERALLY SAT NEXT TO PPL WHO DONT LIVE W U W 0 TO 30 CM DISTANCE BETWEEN EACH OTHER?? U LITERALLY HUGGED PEOPLE TODAY?? THERE WERE LIKE 40 GUESTS IN A WAY TOO TINY ROOM FOR THAT AMOUNT LIKE R U KIDDING ME??? I DONT WANT TO FUCKING SEE THIS EVER AGAIN. ALSO i wish death upon my brother but not rly bc it would hurt my mom nd his daughter but jfc i fucking hate him. also my cousin nd his dad are just like him. fascism is so normalized in dutch society nowadays idek where to draw the line between a person who is slightly bigoted nd the ‘never talk to a fascist‘ scenario jfc.

i always feel so fucking mixed abt my family urghfhgh like i truly do care abt my parents nd i guess one aunt nd uncle maybe but i dont want to fucking see them during this pandemic nd i preferrably dont see my brother either. but fuck i REALLY dont know how ppl cut family out of their lives bc i would have to pick and choose who i would stay in touch w but they all communicate to each other so u rly cant keep a secret. if i were to try to close off family i would need to delete my fb + ig bc i do have an aunt who keeps finding me there, nd i would need to never tell any of them my new address if i ever move. but also we never had a huge fallout so i dont think theyd get it?? nd my family on my mother’s side, aside from my american uncle nd aunt, all live rly close in either this city or one nearby so idek how you could avoid them. like im conditioned to care abt them but i honestly really dont care

i got invited by my parents to this christmas dinner over at their house and they didnt see the issue in inviting me, my friend, my brother and his daughter, “bc it’s legal to invite 3 people and children under 13 years don’t count [according to the legislation]” nd said ‘oh your friend will feel lonely on christmas if he’s just home alone‘ NO HE WON’T?? HOW DO U KNOW?? WILL IT LITERALLY KILL U TO TRY TO NOT KILL OTHER PEOPLE??

the only reason i cried at the cremation today was bc i thought of my mom dying nd having no idea what i would say in a speech then. like i dont remember my mom’s speech well but i was impressed how she said positive things abt her mom considering she was rly physically nd mentally abusive of her kids in the past nd left my mom scarred for life. it made me think when people deserved to actually be remembered for the ‘good’ stuff, just because fucking family is supposedly important. nd i just couldnt remember positive stuff abt my mom other than ‘i would miss her‘ but i couldnt think of what exactly i would miss abt her bc our personalities rly clash.

she rly stressed me out today, like she kept honking for the whole neighbourhood to hear bc i wasnt immediately outside when the car arrived in my street, nd at a certain moment said i should take a flower from the bouquet (tht was paid by the nephews nd nieces (minus me bc my parents paid it bc im broke)) nd so i did but then my aunt complained right beside me that she thought it was wrong that people just pulled out flowers ffrom the bouquet so i was like :( oh ok, but my mom kept yelling ‘NO TAKE MORE FLOWERS!! COME ON TAKE ANOTHER ONE!! PUT IT IN YOUR HOME!!‘ nd my aunt kept complaining nd i felt so guilty suddenly for having those flowers as i got more pushed into my hands by others. like my best friend has a rly chill family who srsly didnt pay visits at home or vice versa once nd im so jealous bc when your whole family understands how the fucking virus / social distancing works nd doesn’t look egocentrically only at the lax legislation or treat forced gezelligheid as the ultimate goal, it would prob be a lot easier to actually just not meet up. bc the question of meeting up or having to see each other all the fucking time isnt even a thing. but to him my family is rly weird nd strict while before him i only knew ppl w stricter parents nd i had the easy ones bc i was allowed to drink nd go out nd date even though i didnt want that. urgh im just in conflict nd feeling a bit desperate abt the ppl in this country. nd i worry abt my mom getting sick

#also might have sensory overload from being around ppl who make me uncomfortable nd yell over each other #like i dont have anxiety around crowds or anything like i LOVE concerts but this was fucking hell #rambles #family stuff #tmi #death mention #abuse mention #if a close friend / mutual could talk to me abt this pls do

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librainlov-remade · 7 years

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get to know me tag!!! hello!!!

hello!!.! i was tagged by my favs!!! @joonjulyagustd n @eunwoosgirlfriend to do this!!! n even tho its long,, it was worth it!! thank u for tagging me in this ilu both!!! :*

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST:

1. drink: iced coffee!!

2. phone call: probably my sister??

3. text message: “the bald mario is both of u” lmaoakdvdfjn

4. song you listened to: still - loco ft crush!! so good vkfkvkd

5. time you cried: i think it was??? two nights ago??

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: ehhfhfj some regret was involved,, got over it quickly tho

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: ehh?? kind of?? yea,,

10. been depressed: yup,,

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14. red, pink, n white atm!! jus a whole valentines day display lmao

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yes!! ppl whomst i lov th most in this world

16. fallen out of love: don’t think i’ve ever truthfully fallen in love so no

17. laughed until you cried: YES!! best feeling in the world :))!!

18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah,,, both good n bad unfortunately

19. met someone who changed you: definitely

20 found out who your friends are: kinda??

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: don’t even have fb

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: we’ll never know hahhjkdnc

23. do you have any pets: 3 dogs n a cat!!!! guess what!!!! i’d sacrifice my life for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24. do you want to change your name: yes hence why i go by my middle name lmao

25. what did you do for your last birthday: beach w my friends n there was a carnival nearby!!!!,,, a good memory :’)

26. what time did you wake up: ,,,,,,1 pm

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching brooklyn 99

28. name something you can’t wait for: hopefully visiting Seattle this summer!! (((ps rec me some places to visit wink wonk))

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: last night

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i literally can’t think of anything rn but i know i complain a lot lmao,,, i wish i was rich?? tf???

31. what are you listening to right now: palmar - caloncho!! my fav!!

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i have

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my gemini brother

34. most visited website: most likely tumblr n youtube

35-37. lost questions??

38. hair colour: dark brown!!

39. long or short hair: i like all lengths but i prefer mine longer :))

40. do you have a crush on someone: no but i wish

41. what do you like about yourself: ,,idk if this is physically?? i’ll say my goofy laugh bc it makes other ppl laugh n my eyes prob!!

42. piercings: just one on each of my ear lobes!! i wanna get another ear piercing soon but i can’t decide which to get :o,,

43. bloodtype: no idea fnvdklfnldf

44. nickname: isa, isha, i guess those count??

45. relationship status: i”’’m goign to die alone,,

46. zodiac: libra,,, i can’t remember th rest of my chart hehahshdh

47. pronous: she/her

48. favourite tv show: i just finished chewing gum ANDJFNV ITS A FAV!!!. but I’m down to watch the office at any given moment heh o also oitnb n htgawm!!!!

49. tattoos: not rn but hopefully one day!

50. right or left handed: i’m right handed

51. surgery: don’t think so!!

52. piercing: @@ 42

53. sport: i played volleyball for like,,,,, a year n i hated every second of it ooopsnjfnvf

55. vacation: i wish i could go everywhere honestly but first on my list is Seattle ((hopefully pls,,))!!! but in general someplace cold!

56. pair of trainers: my white converse or birkenstocks now that its summer ayayayhfjn

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: jus ate sum lasagna binch,,,, am garfieold

58. drinking: drinking water rn,,, hydrating my cells,,?

59. i’m about to: finish up som other tags to spam y’all with hmmmkm

61. waiting for: my dumb ass to graduate fuckfvkf

62. want: more rilakkuma plushes + skincare products

63. get married: definitely!!

64. career: NO IDEA LMAOMDF,,,,,th dream would b something that i could do semi independently??? idk i hav no real passion for anything so far,,

65. hugs or kisses: hugs!!!! especially when they squeeze you really tight out of nowhere!!!! i love hugs!!!!!!! pls!!!

66. lips or eyes: on other people? lips for sure

67. shorter or taller: its nearly impossible to be shorter than me so

68. older or younger: i don’t mind either? i jus never really pay attention to age unless its like,, a really huge gap :/ but something like 2-3 year gap doesn’t matter to me

70. nice arms or nice stomach: idk!!! arms i guess!!! goes along w the hugging thing hahsjdcn jus never let me go ;;

71. sensitive or loud: i’m both honestly

72. hook up or relationship: i’m definitely a relationship kind of person but i wouldn’t say no?

73. troublemaker or hesitant: EXTREMELY HESITANT goddjkfjlkf i overthink n contemplate everything,, anything at all n i hate that

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: nah

75. drank hard liquor: i don’t drink!

76. lost glasses/contact lesnse: yes all the time but my eyesight isnt too bad so i dont stress abt it

77. turned someone down: yup

78. sex on the first date: no

79. broken someone’s heart: uhhhlkdm don’t think so?

80. had your heart broken: i don’t think so,, but i’ve felt like i have? if tht makes sense :/

81. been arrested: no but i got kicked out of target once

82. cried when someone died: yes but it was more of a reaction to others reactions? i didn’t know the person well so..

83. fallen for a friend: yes ohgod

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: i try!!

85. miracles: hhhhh it depends..

86. love at first sight: i don’t believe in love at first sight,,, just being extremely attracted to someone at first sight?,,,, like theres no way u could love someone,..........at ...first sight,,,,...

87. santa claus: no hhah

88. kiss on the first date: ye!!!

89. angels: idk,,, no?

OTHER:

90. current best friend’s name: i hav multiple!! “best friend”,, its a tier

91. eye colour: jus brown

92. favourite movie: kiki’s delivery service!!!!! or while you were sleeping

this shouldnt have taken me as long as it did omg,,, but thanks for tagging me yall!!!!! ilu!!! im gonna tag: @flameoflov , @rmsgirl , @namkwan u dont hav to do this at all tho!!!!

#i didnt wanna tag too many ppl bc im already doin so many tags ehjdjdncjnc but #m praying that the read more works fghdkgks #u dont hav to do this ofc!!! it took me a while bc im lazy n all but it was fun!!!! thanks for tagging me!! :)!!!#tag games #m also i wrote this like 2 days ago sorry for barely posting it now :/#long post

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noecat · 7 years

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88 qn tag meme

thank u 2 the lovely @jiminieboi for tag!!

holy shit this was long,,listen i tag no one but my wife @wingjk bc im literally too lazy to breathe rn

the last:

1. DRINK: passionfruit red tea. it was too sweet i wish i’d gone w green but that’s too sour,,,,honestly a representation of my personality as a whole

2. PHONE CALL: school friend who was wondering where i was

3. TEXT MESSAGE: if messenger counts, @wingjk bc i was going to sleep

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: come back home by bts

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i don’t recall!! perhaps a couple weeks ago?

have you:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: don’t call me out like this

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: not really? i dont regret many things

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: ha

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: listen

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: i don’t get drunk

top 3 favorite colors

12. black

13. pink

14. in your area

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yes and i love them

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: L I S T E N

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: rarely, but yes!!

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yall. assholes. love to gossip. and i love finding out about it so it’s a mutually beneficial thing

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: doesn’t everyone change me to some degree?? yes, though i do think a lot of the char dev ive undergone was internally motivated and not bc of a specific person,,,i just want to treat people better.

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: yes and i Love Them

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: ppft no who the fuck even facebooks in the year 2k17,,,tho,, @wingjk hmu ;(

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: none

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a kitten !! listen he’s an asshole but i love him

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: as in legally?? i wish!! hopefully soon

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: ha ha dont talk to me

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: i overslept today bc my sleeping schedule is,,,,,very good,,,,,,,,,,,

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: readin fanfic rip

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: hobi. wheres. ur. mixtape. where. also MY BDAY IS IN LESS THAN A MONTH !!! LOVE ME !!!!!!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: uhm yesterday

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: listen,

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: the sweet sound of everyone being loud as fuc

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: i dont think so ??

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: people breathing around me

lost questions

34. MOLE(S): ya

35. MARK(S): scars ?? i fell into a ditch once and i still have the scars from that,,also depression isnt ideal

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: to be a lawyer

37. HAIR COLOR: brown but im gna bleach it someday

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short-ish

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: not romantically but i am currently interested in someone, yeees

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: sometimes the planets alighn just right and i say something quotable that im proud of

41. PIERCINGS: that havent healed completely already ? 2, in my ears

42. BLOODTYPE: red

43. NICKNAME(S): q, ‘that asshole’, kyu

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: not looking

45. ZODIAC: leo

46. PRONOUNS: im agender. i strongly prefer it/its for Reasons but some of yall fucks take offense bc ‘but u are not an object!!’ and like. listen. if u think that using ‘they/them’, which i do not want to be called, is somehow more respectful to my identity ??? ? ? ? i dont rly have much to say. in spaces where people are less tolerant and presentation overrides id, i go by she/hers.

47. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: i dont watch them anymore but ill always have a special spot in my heart for hannibal and my earliest experiences w bbc sherlock (ahahah can u believe i used to be a sh blog tho)

48. TATTOOS: not yet!! i want to get mine right the first time

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: technically ambidextrous but ive been using my right hand for so long (bc u dont rly realize how inconvenient literally everything is w left hand until u try it skdfjgfg) that it’s now my dominant one

50. SURGERY: yes, but minor

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nop but ive shaved it all off once

52. SPORT: used to sail, used to kayak, now i possess no skills. i actually ish i did have a sport i play regularly, but, i am a Lazy Fuck,

53. VACATION: aksdjfd i dont rmbr !! i travelled a lot when i was young. now we just go to neighboring countries over breaks sometimes.

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: not converse low, that’s 4 sure

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: nothing, but hopefully about to

56. DRINKING: nothing, but hopefully about to

57. I’M ABOUT TO: eat, drink, go home

58. WAITING FOR: senpai to answer my anon ask. senpai pls. senpai im dying here i only get wifi sporadically for like 10 min at a time senpai plsease

59. WANT: see hoseok irl someday, to not fail my year end exams, to have a good future after this. if we’re going wildly unrealistic, give me financial stability and the power to play piano proficiently.

60. GET MARRIED: honestly i think this would depend on where i am in life, where my partner(s) is/are in life, and what we want out of our relationship (plus, my generation supposedly killed marriage, so)

61. CAREER: listen i used to want to be a lawyer real bad before i grew up and realized im a fuckign depressed idiot who cant do shit so now im just hoping for some kind of stable job that i wont hate,,,,,,i lean towards the social sciences, and they’re what im best at, but my fucking dumb ass is currenly taking natural sciences instead because ????? no fuckin clue, past me, what the fuck,

62. HUGS OR KISSES: i dont like hugs much, so kisses. though i do like to cuddle ??? i think ??? theoretically ???? normally i just dont let ppl touch me

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: couldn’t care less but theres smth hot abt someone being taller than me (unrelated news kuroo is 187cm holy shit fuck T O W E R O V E R M E)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: as in ?? romantically ?? to be friends with ?? if it’s the former, almost definitely older. for the latter, i prefer older, but personality matters more than age does.

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: dont care. tho if u have arms that could snap my neck,

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: as in me ?? listen im both. im both. but if we’re talking partners, i imagine kuroo is plenty loud, so that,

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: listen i dont care as long as it’s enjoyable and mutually beneficial

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: hm

have your ever:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: nop

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nop

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yes, but found them

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: ya!!

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nop

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: not intentionally ??

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: : l i s t e n

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nop im a good upstanding citizen

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: as in irl ?? i dont think so

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: hm, no, i,

do you believe in:

80. YOURSELF: ya im great. im a piece of shit but *insert trash can not trash cannot meme*

81. MIRACLES: nah

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: nah

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah. attraction, maybe

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: do what u want !!

85. ANGELS: @wingjk is one so i can confirm

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): van, iv, jess are u a best friend or am i reading u wrong, id say drea but she’s my soulmate, id say nastya but she’s my wife and will complain i friendzoned her

other

87. EYE COLOUR: greenish

88. FAVOURITE MOVIE: casino royale !!! also all the ghibli things were my childhood

#q.txt #.txt

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